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amgeryporcupine · 2 years

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Hi :)

This is for that one anon whose request I've mistaken for something else.

Hmm where do I start? Honestly, this whole TobiMada family thing that I thought of first came out to be angsty lol.

Like how Tobirama and Madara get together, or how it's possible for Madara to get preggo (not a/b/o). The original back story I had in mind can be defined as "it gets worse before it gets better".

But enough of that- let's just say they both lived happily ever after with many kids.

Please know that I'm poop with names so I just reused a bunch.

1st born - Quadruplets

Izuna (1st) was named after his late uncle. He is the Uchiha clan heir and the biggest troll Konoha has ever seen. He is also Itama's shoulder to cry/whine on. He may act carefree but he is the best when handling diplomatic missions.

Kawarama (2nd) is very much a grump, short-tempered, and has the issue of people standing behind him. He also happens to be a sensor as strong as his dad but would often get overwhelmed so his brothers are always there for him in case it gets too much. He is very protective of his siblings but he can be overbearing sometimes.

Itama (3rd) is a moody crybaby. He's like the combination of his uncle Hashi and his late uncle Itama. He loves to annoy his brother Kawarama for the sole reason of: "it's because Kawa-Chan makes funny faces when he's mad" even if he gets hit in the head and loses a few brain cells. He is also very well-loved by the people of Konoha as his character and behavior remind them of their previous Hokage (Hashirama). He is also expected to be the 3rd Hokage when Tobirama retires from the position.

Sousuke (4th) loves playing with fire. No words can describe the number of forest fires he's caused or the small villages he accidentally burned down. He's a pretty chill guy and very very straightforward with his words. He is socially awkward but he tries his best. He is considered a good team leader and would often be sent on S-rank missions, even if he prefers to do it alone. Some would say that his strength and thirst for a good fight came from his mother (they're not wrong tho).

2nd born - Triplets

Satsuki (1st) has a very poised and dignified persona. She loves dressing up in expensive kimonos with intricate designs. She doesn't listen to anyone's bs unless they wish for a painful death by drowning. She has received many suitors from different clans but none fit her high standards (Tobirama's practically leaping with joy as his daughter will stay as his princess forever. Or so he thought). She is also an Iryo-nin along with her two sisters.

Makoto (2nd) is a perfectionist. She is also a clean freak and practically tidies up any mess her sisters make. She loves to read books let be they novels, or medical texts. She's not one to dress as fancy as Satsuki but she'll let herself be dressed up like a doll as long as her sisters won't bother her for the next hour. Most of the time oblivious when someone is interested in courting her. She has a history of "accidentally" sending her suitors to a friend zone.

Nagisa (3rd) is very energetic and adventurous. Not disgusted with handling anything, even bugs (for which Satsuki and Makoto would lose their vocal cords). She loves trying out new things and would often encourage her sisters to join her in it. She is also the mediator when her sisters bicker too much. Has been in many relationships before but it doesn't last because her partners couldn't keep up with her. (her dad and older brothers take very much care of her exes, and the twins are glad to have another to add to their collection).

3rd born - Twins

Hikaru (1st) and Kaoru (2nd) are two peas in a pod. They won't do anything without each other. Are born prodigies and have made many of their own jutsus. Unintentionally handling S-rank missions (only because of how often they get the unfortunate chance of being dragged into one) leads to gaining Jonin-rank at a young age. They dissect (animals) to study the organ system, skeletal structure, find the cause of death, etc. They received a human cadaver on their 10th birthday after presenting the things they've studied through years of dissecting and the council found it beneficial to give them the chance in order to contribute to the greater good of medicine.

4th born

Harumi is the epitome of sunshine and rainbows. It would take a lot of convincing for people outside Konoha to believe that this little girl is a spawn of Senju Tobirama and Uchiha Madara. She has mastered the deadly "puppy dog eyes" and has made uncle Hashi her favorite victim. She was a surprise to the family. Madara never thought that he'd conceive again with his age, but nonetheless, he and his husband were ecstatic to meet their youngest. Tobirama would drop everything he was doing if his little Harumi ever requested to be carried. Harumi got called "Hime" as a joke at first but the Senju and Uchiha both agreed that she is indeed a "Hime" and nothing would change that.

Wips related to this au

The whole family goes to the beach but in a modern setting, the quads as babies, and all 10 of them in one photo.

There's another fanart of this au in my old account @angeryporcupine

#tobimada #tobirama x madara #madara uchiha #tobirama senju #madara is a bottom #tobimada family au #my fanart #my oc art

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shepherds-of-haven · 1 year

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Which of the characters would be the best at matchmaking/setting the MC up with someone else? I feel like Trouble would be an awesome wingman 👀

Good question! Let me think...

From best to worst wingman:

Lavinet: she lives for matchmaking, and she's extremely good at it, both in pairing the people in question up and nudging them towards realizing their feelings, but also in being subtle about it! I think the only time she's ever failed in this regard was when she didn't realize that her lady-in-waiting Clara had a secret paramour (her now-fiance Pendric), but had Clara told her about it, she would have helped them along then too 😌 (not that they really needed it lol)

Briony: she's not always as subtle as Lavinet, but she can't be matched in her sheer enthusiasm for facilitating ✨ true love ✨ and her bubbly "oh, X and Y should go on patrol together! 👀" can be read as casual and natural enough that many people won't pick up on her intentions! Some people still do, but in the right circumstances (like if they already like each other), this can still be more of a help than a hindrance!

Red: I think he can really be an excellent wingman, but the interest in meddling in other peoples' affairs/relationships isn't normally there... he doesn't want to be held responsible if the couple doesn't end up being compatible or if things end badly, so he'd prefer to be left out of it 😅 But if he does get involved or takes an interest enough, he's really very good at it!

Trouble: I think he's only a good wingman when he doesn't know he's being a wingman... It's like, if you tell him, "Hey Trouble, go over to that random person and talk to them on my behalf, I'm interested in them 👀" he would be quite bad at it... or even if you tell him, "Trouble, I have a crush on Briony" I don't think he's the best person to engineer that matchup, partially because he's really bad at concealing his true thoughts and feelings and being deceptive, so he's going to make things quite obvious... but if you don't tell him about these things ahead of time, he is somehow amazing at inadvertently hyping you up to a person or casually throwing the two of you together that he's quite the matchmaking savant!

Shery: she is emotionally perceptive, #1 shipper in the Order (like she LIVES to ship, she LIVES to matchmake and squeal quietly when things are going well between the two of you), and subtle enough to be a great matchmaker if you want her to quietly orchestrate/engineer situations from behind the scenes... just DON'T ask her to go over and like woo someone for you by proxy, the way some wingpeople are expected to do! Other than that, though, she's quite successful, and can lie surprisingly well--at least enough to not to give away your secrets!

Chase: like Red, the talent and ability are there, but the interest isn't always... like he's always notice if two people are into each other or if they would be a good match, but he has surprisingly little interest in helping to facilitate this unless 1) he's specifically asked or 2) he's already good friends with both parties. Unlike Lavinet or Briony, he won't bestir himself to get involved in the case of two recruits, but he will if it's, like, MC and Trouble. And even if one of those conditions are met, he's so unpredictable that sometimes he can have incredible success rates, or he can use the knowledge for Evil, like deliberately pairing you in awkward situations or calling you out in front of your crush just to make you squirm because he's a troll and is greatly amused by doing things like asking "who do you think is the best-looking person in this room, MC?" (knowing full well that they're trying to hide a crush on so-and-so) or full-on inventing situations to make drive one of the crushes into such a jealous fit that they HAVE to act, or daring them to kiss each other while playing an "innocent" card game... the man gives no fucks. He will get you results like 95% of the time, but the process of getting there is chaotic and you have to be so courageous to put that faith in him and endure it in the meantime 😩

Ayla (tied with Tallys?): her method of being a wingwoman literally just involves walking up to the person in question, jabbing a thumb over her shoulder, and saying bluntly, "MC is into you (and/or wants to bang). Are you into MC?" In terms of subtlety, this is horrible, but it cuts straight to the chase and works like 50% of the time because most of the time, the people already like each other or are up for it lol, so she's not the worst to ask for this!

Tallys (tied with Ayla?): I think she's far more subtle than Ayla, but she might actually go opposite way in that she might be too subtle... not only do Elves tend to move quite slowly when it comes to other people's relationships (lack of time/urgency), but the way she'd pair people up/try to "nudge" them towards each other (like hyping MC up to someone they like) might be so subtle and low-key that it would probably fly over a lot of people's heads, especially if you were dealing with someone like a Trouble or an Ayla--like "yeah, I agree, MC is the best, why are you... telling me that" Tallys, trying harder: "I think they'd make for an ideal romantic partner, wouldn't you agree" Trouble: "......oh shit, does MC know you're in love with them??"

Riel: okay, I think if the interest were there, he'd dominate this list--his knowledge of people, their psychology and body language, and his ability to manipulate situations (particularly social dynamics) to suit his needs would put him at the very top of the matchmakers, matched (haha) only by Lavinet in that she's much more natural about engineering these things than he is. However, he could give less of a shit about interfering in anyone's relationships unless it suits some larger purpose of his or benefits him in some way... Otherwise, if you ask him to "talk to Shery on your behalf and encourage a love match between the two of you" he'll just give you his 😒 face and tell you to do it yourself

Blade - Halek: these two are tied for absolute worst. Just don't even bother. "Wingman" doesn't even exist in the vocabulary of words that Blade understands and Halek will just groan and grumble so much about what a hassle you've placed on him that you're literally better off using Caine than you would be for either of them. (Let's not forget that Blade is usually 1) your boss and 2) main enforcer of the "don't date other Shepherds" rule so it's just not a good idea to ask him to not only look the other way about breaking that rule, but to go even farther and ask him to be your wingman LOL the sheer audacity)

#Shepherds of Haven #romance options #all characters #wingman #wingmen #matchmaker #matchmaking

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thewertsearch · 2 years

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Ask Compilation 08/08

He codes exclusively in B++!

The mental image of a software pirate who physically raids people’s houses for their data is pretty great.

Prince sounds like a ‘leader’ or ‘controller’ class. I hope it allows me to change Homestuck’s time rules, because I have ideas.

In other words, if we do get nine new characters, as I theorized a few months ago, the new Pesterchum letter will probably be U.

I did miss the Karkat-carcinogen thing. I forgot that was his original theme, since he has a lot more going on now than just his ‘cancerous’ personality.

You guys said these ship names were good, and you're delivering.

That's a good point. I haven't really played any point-and-click games myself. I guess Professor Layton and Phoenix Wright both have point-and-click elements, but they fit more neatly into other genres.

I didn’t think the point-and-click genre had any analogue to RPG classes, but it is a lens that I haven’t really viewed Homestuck through up to now, since, like I said, I haven’t played any. Totally open to anyone else weighing in, though!

I'll put it on the list!

I might need to compile an actual recs list for the blog at some point, because I’ve got a good few by now.

It’s a very Felt-themed thought experiment. they’d probably love it, and so do I.

It’s definitely possible to simulate simple time-loops, and extrapolate them to more complex scenarios. The problems kick in, like you said, when you try to factor in human choice, or ‘free will’.

If Tavros had a human name, it absolutely would be Martin. Kind of fits him perfectly, don’t you think?

Looking back at the pre-Hivebent troll appearances, this does indeed seem to be the case! Plus, I noticed one thing I hadn’t picked up on before:

An Act 4 cameo from AG!

Lusi works for me. I don't know any Latin, and since there’s no canon answer, I’m just going for whatever feels right.

Dangit, you're right. I was saying Meg-ee-do in my head, but just typed it wrong.

The narration called it inelegant, but Sollux’s name for the game works on multiple levels. Elegance ain’t everything!

Plus, it seems to be fully functional. I wonder the Alternian Exiles aren’t as far in their planet’s future as the Earth Exiles?

I personally doubt that a session would abide two identical Titles. They’re surely different - and maybe my Title, as a liveblogger, is different as well...

To make an 'alien' race, they don't remove this photoshopping, of course. They just layer a second bad photoshopping onto the horns, to clumsily erase them.

We’ll wait till I’m finished the liveblog, and see what state the game’s in then. This blog ain’t going anywhere for at least another year, so maybe we’ll see some movement.

Aradia's - specifically, the ones in her main sprite. Its just a cool spiral pattern!

Right? I had a minor revelation in the tags shortly after I posted that.

AG is Troll Captain Hook, it's definitely on purpose, and now that her relationship to Tavros has come to light, it’s starting to make more sense.

Guys, these puns are killing me. You're killing your liveblogger, guys.

I’ve played a lot of tabletop RPGs, and it does seem like I let it seep into my admittedly tenuous understanding of LARPing. I did know it was live, but I was under the impression that you were still acting as a party in a campaign, working collaboratively.

I guess I didn’t think about who’d be playing your enemies. They can’t all be played by the DM unless she can mind-control people so I should have guessed it’d be party-vs-party - or augmented reality, which is what we got.

Quitting my job to make the crOSby a reality.

Yeah, some of them aren’t exact matches. Maybe the color balance on this image was changed, at some point - or maybe these colors represent the ‘default’ blood for their caste, and each individual troll has different minor variations in their blood.

I've played once or twice. It's fun, and I’d love to get better, but the meta is so complex that I wouldn’t really know where to start!

Discard and Draw, though, is a kind of obscure TvTrope. I like the trope, but I like the phrase even more. It really encapsulates a lot of ideas, and I like the sense of change it evokes.

Hell yes! Enjoy the ride!

Wow, that's getting close to that one Super Smash Bros fanfic. I thought Homestuck itself would be longer than any of its fanworks, but I, as always, underestimate fanworks.

For what it's worth, I'm increasingly confident we have got to Vriska - just not officially. Who else is going to do it like AG?

Oh, that makes sense. I wonder if this implies my trollsona is yellow-brown colourblind?

The list I was working from didn’t have many meaningfully different options for Leo - most of them were just variations of ‘Lion’, and most of them were less than six letters. I saw the Finnish ‘Leijona‘, liked the look of it, and cut off the last letter. Voilà - we have our catgirl!

Don’t worry, true Derséheads will always find each other. It's like those Jojo things.

Gotta practice character voice while I can. The 1.8 million word Sahlee fic will drop one day, whether y’all like it or not.

Yup. Like with the humans, they often act like they’re older or smarter than adolescents, but that’s just Homestuck’s writing style. They’re just kids, which makes Alternia’s culture so much worse.

[ I never had a kidsona actually 🤔 the trollsona may show up some day, Sal, you have full permission after I show you her xD - C]

We shall have to see what happens, once Sahlee gets to her Land...

I’d say the resemblance is vague enough to be a coincidence - and it probably is - but you never know for sure, when your author is a CS major.

NAND gates always output 1, unless both of their inputs are 1. Thematically, that’s kind of similar to Sollux’s dual-universe deadlock virus, but if we pull that up again I’ll be here all day.

We’ve talked a lot about what Homestuck categories I’d fall into, but we’ve just locked in the most important one of all: my fursona.

Silly rules like this really give Homestuck a distinct identity - just like the trolls’ silly quirks do the same for them.

Also - a couple replies from a few weeks ago that I thought I posted, but it seems were eaten by tumblr:

Yeah Davesprite says he’s supposed to be vague, so it’s definitely intentional on the part of Sburb, and not just when your sprite is a capricious jester. The implied reason is that solving Sburb’s riddles yourself is part of the game’s challenge.

It could serve multiple purposes, though. Vaugeness about Titles, specifically, could be so the Players can make their own judgements about what their Title means.

This mythology is ‘hyper-flexible’, and Players decide what form their enemies take - so maybe they also decide what form their Titles take, too. Maybe what the game is ‘tailoring’ itself to, here, is the Players’ own interpretations of its lore.

That's a good point - and Jade lives in a big empty island, so she has more Space than any of the other Players! That’s the sort of thing that may or may not be deliberate.

She still hasn't displayed any Space powers, though, of any flavor. Jade - who spent years as a pseudo-Seer - certainly seems to have a funny relationship with her Title.

That's true - although their Trollian handles, plus the spectrum of their colors, are arranged in the correct zodiac order, so there must be some in-universe meaning to it.

I'm pretty sure the purples are the highest of all. Plus, AG is apparently 'aristocracy', and, more intriguingly, Karkat is seen as ‘gutter blood’, despite his anonymity. The plot thickens.

Yup, GA is as Jadelike as they come. Maybe the game always assigns a Player as the Frog Temple’s custodian - which makes me wonder if GA has her own Bec, too. He’s still a huge question mark.

Absolutely locked in as my headcanon.

#asks #full liveblog #act 5 #edit: YES it actually posted this time. thank you tumblr gods.#edit 2: edits only work sometimes. i think this post is legitimately too long for tumblr to handle

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veliseraptor · 1 year

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March Reading Recap

I was going to be like "it feels like I just did one of these" and that's because I kind of did but that's because I didn't do the February one until halfway through March. so. Another kind of slow month but I read some good ones...

Paleofantasy: What Evolution Really Tells Us About Sex, Diet, and How We Live by Marlene Zuk. Very mixed feelings about this book. Listening to Maintenance Phase has got me much more aware of casual fatphobia and this book definitely had its causal fatphobia, even as it was challenging some of the narratives that undergird a lot of casual fatphobia (about what's "natural" and "good for the body" specifically). It was also very gender binary in a way that had me poking at the chapters on sex and gender going "okay but aren't you going to interrogate this? at all? I know Cordelia Fine's book came out before this one."

But it did have some interesting stuff in there, particularly about modern/ongoing evolution, and the emphasis the author placed on the point that evolution doesn't have an end goal or purpose (so saying "humans evolved to [x]" is necessarily a fallacy; humans evolved in tandem with circumstances and will continue to do so) was appreciated. Ultimately, though, not a book I'd recommend to anybody else (unless I wanted to hear their critiques of it, which does sometimes happen), just one I've taken a few things from that I'll move forward with.

Jade Legacy by Fonda Lee. Finally got over my "my fave is going to die" fear and finished my read of this series, and while I think the first two are stronger than this one is in some technical ways, this one finishes out the series - and the family saga of it all - with a bang. The texture of this book feels a little different to me from the more traditional novel structure of the first two, which actually is probably why I said that - so I take it back, I don't actually think it's doing anything technically worse, just technically different. (Though that slight inconsistency might bother others, as it did me before I thought about it a little.)

This book ended up with a five star rating because I have a rule that books that make me cry get five stars, and this one made me cry twice. Well played, Fonda Lee, well played. I'm very excited to see what she does next.

Thousand Autumns, vol. 1 by Meng Xi Shi. I am really enjoying what a dick Yan Wushi is, and the fact that his approach to Shen Qiao is basically "let me do a social experiment on this man"; I also enjoy Shen Qiao especially when he is being kind of a troll. Overall, though, so far of the new cnovels I'm currently reading through (LHJC and QJJ are the others), I am enjoying this one least. I plan to keep reading because I did enjoy the first volume and I'm curious to see where it goes, but I'm not hooked yet.

Eyes of the Void by Adrian Tchaikovsky. I think at this point I can safely call Adrian Tchaikovsky one of my favorite writers and this (sequel to Shards of Earth) was no exception to my general feelings about his books. I devoured this very rapidly and I'm excited to see where it goes. I think the Children of [x] series is still my favorite over this one, but that's really just picking between very good sci-fi series. Excited to read the last one in this series, which I will probably wait for in softcover so it will be a minute.

Will also note that one thing I really appreciated about this one is the way that it kind of oldstyle wove in some "in case you forgot what happened in book 1" mini recaps, which were very useful for me, because I had in fact forgotten some of what happened in book 1.

Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakauer. I mostly came out of this one going "Into Thin Air was better" and honestly so was Missoula. This one was interesting, I guess, but I didn't get as much out of it as I would've liked, even if the experience of reading it was fairly enjoyable. It served me on a plane ride when the seat outlets weren't working. But Into Thin Air was better.

Did learn some things about the history of Mormonism though, which I didn't know much about.

The Hidden Life of Trees by Peter Wohlleben. This was a fascinating book that suffered from excessive anthropomorphization for effect. Mr. Wohlleben clearly has a lot of feelings about trees, and I understand and support that, and respect his determination to make other people have feelings about trees as well - but his methods of doing so (namely, heavy use of connecting tree behavior to human behavior), for me personally, just ended up feeling a little awkward and labored.

I understand that it might feel less effective, rather than saying "trees! they're just like us (and so you should care about what they're doing)", to say "trees! doing really neat stuff in their own right that you can't see them obviously doing so you assume they're just standing there (and you should care because they're living beings in their own right, quite aside from how they help us)", but at least for me it would make for an equally informative but slightly less irritating book.

The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov. What a weird book. I keep meaning to read more Russian lit and I'm glad I finally got around to this one. There's something here that's just...it reads in this particular way where it is both absurd and very much thinking hard about what it's doing, and that's a combination that I both really enjoy and don't see all that much.

I had expectations of what I thought this novel was going to be (I knew it was set in Moscow and there was the devil and a cat involved) and it did not fit any of them, which in this case was a very good thing. I kind of feel like I wouldn't want to tell anybody else reading this one very much about it either, if it was possible; I think the book benefits from going in fairly blind. Loved all the translator's footnotes in the back, too. Much appreciated, both as a fan of footnotes generally and someone with a relative lack of cultural context for a lot of what this book was/is playing with.

The Chaos Machine: The Inside Story of How Social Media Rewired Our Brains and the World by Max Fisher. I read about half of this book in a single day and texted @paradife-loft (who drew it to my attention) that it was very stressful; they congratulated me on figuring out how to doomscroll a book. Which is a very apt description of how this reading experience felt, actually! In an informative and compelling way that left me madder than ever about the decisions of major social media companies over the last decade or so, and a little bit filled with despair about what's going to happen next, but, you know. I'd still consider it edifying. Maybe read it more slowly than I did, though. Absorbing that much grim information about exactly how the entire systems of algorithm-driven social media (and YouTube, which Fisher comes down pretty hard on) are designed, at their core, with the result that we see now, up to and including provoking genocides.

Which is something I knew, vaguely, but reading a couple-hundred page book about it really hammers it home in detail.

I just finished reading The Spite House by Johnny Compton (literally today), starting reading The Nine Eyes of Lucien for grinsies before I finally go read The Red Tent by Anita Diamant, which I've been meaning to do for ages. looking forward to seeing where the rest of April takes me.

#reading recaps #sometimes i read things

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mmmmalo · 2 years

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3 potential etymologies for Diemen Xicali

1. We use the Russian X, which makes something like an English H sound, and general r/l ambivalence to turn Xicali into Hickory. Following a hunch, we find that a Russian word for smoke is дым (~diem), telling us that the hotdog troll's name approximates HICKORY SMOKED (ie sausage)

2. We use X's capacity as a modern esh and mumble our vowels to turn Xicali into Shekeli (шекели), the plural of Shekel. This would reframe Diemen's intense, paranoid wiener scrupulosity as a veiled riff on the Greedy Jew bogeyman, in line with the general antisemitic flavoring of Alternia. He will not relinquish his pound of flesh, you might say.

A tertiary contributor to this meme complex is Laika, who is the "heavenly frankfurter" par excellence, passing on as she did in orbit*: Diemen's hotdog fixation could be read as an absurd variation on Joey's love of dogs. Her accumulation of dog memorabilia (Pa's not the only one with hoarding tendencies) and her dream of becoming a veterinarian (in order to preserve dogs!), when regarded as a fixation induced by trauma, contribute to the Red Scare atmosphere via Laika. With Diemen, the traumatic dog death is crushing his meat with Alternia's deadliest ass (later you crush a baby in the same manner), and the solution is... embarking on a journey to replace it. Joey likewise seeks to replace a dead battery (connected to dogs and infants via pogs and Roxy), so that's another structural repetition... I'm unsure what Joey's equivalent of the frozen meat locker would be, though

* Laika is said to have died of either overheating from a malfunctioning AC unit (Diemen Xicali means Hickory Smoked, the dog was overly hot) or suffocation (Diemen chokes to death on a bad route, and has trouble breathing in the sewers before finding meat heaven)... I thought we were recovering the lost Laika from a sort of dead dog repository, but it also kind of feels like MSPA reader is a reaper (one letter apart...) guiding Laika across the stinky river styx into dog heaven??

I do not feel like indulging the Laika-as-phallus angle implied by the saucy weiner puns at present, this is confusing enough without keeping track of competing bodily analogies... well except for,

3. I briefly considerd "DIE, MEN" but couldn't locate enough misandry to justify it -- unless Diemen's vaguely offputting nature were serving to illustrate the subjective experience of good old fashioned Penis Hating, in which case play ball. Boys are icky!

#hiveswap commentary #diemen #joey #antisemitism #slav mapping

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bobbyhelpme · 7 months

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MY FRIEND TELLS ME SHE LOOKS LIKE VRISKA I WANT TO DIE..... the worst is that she does....

(the pronouns are they/she :b!!)

HERE IT COMES A SUPER LONG TEXT ABOUT HER CHARACTER SOOO man if you really read it i will be impressed

Ok a little bit of context about them, her name is Bonniq Piroux (the reason of the name is coz my 3 internet names are "Bobby bot", "Piromano canadiense (canadian pyromaniac, i am not canadian lol)" and "Roux", the surname clearly comes from Piro + Roux, and Bonniq is the variation of Bobby + Q, qoz of her quirk xd), she's "indexTrafficker" (IT) since they talk a loot about this "index", which herself doesn't know what are they refering to, just saying "the boss tells me to sell it an i do lol". I haven't thinked of her color while chatting but perhaps it would be like #0076E4 (?) She's a blood aspect and prospit dreamer (since i am too a blood and prospit fella!!!), so her sign would be Scorcer (not trying to be like a scorcer oc or something like that, it was more directed about "what if i was a troll" since a friend pushed me to!!!). She's a Witch of Blood and uses Needlekind and Wandkind, since that's what I play as and use in the Genesis Project (y'know, the game) and well she's 6 sweeps coz i know shit about sweeps so if the characters are 6 sweeps then she is too xd....

About their typing quirk, is basically how I write (at least in spanish, pa los qe sepan español, maomeno asi ablo XD oviamente se esqribirnsolo esqribo mal aproposito www). They change the C and K for a Q, USUALLY SPEAKS IN QAPS WHEN THEY ARE ANGRY, EXCITED, SCARED OR LAUGHING, has a lott of mistaqes of grammar, misclixks and mispellls. almost never capitalizes or punctuates their sentences, and uses a lotti of abrev. n contractions, coz they be typing very fast brum brumm!!!

(añado qosas en español, en los "que" y "qui" se come las u tipo "qe" y "qiero", tampoqo asentua sus palabras, a las "ce" y "ci" las esqribe como "se" y "si" y ps bueno habla asi bien pinche naqote como yo lololol)

More about their personality; they are basically me since it's my oc lol? but I guess I dont actually show my personality here that much so I'm going to describe it a lil' bit. They change emotions very fast and intentionally exaggerate them for comedic purposes, swears a lot and can be rude sometimes but not trying to hurt someone, just annoy them a lil' bit. As stated in the image, they open chat by asking them to buy their "index", this is actually something i do in instagram XDDDDD i open dm just for tellin them im giving "ficheros", the direct translation would be like folders or sumthing like that, but the thing is that "fichero" is not a common word and without context nobody knows what that means, so index would be a good translation since its a word that a lot of people know about but without context it loses meaning or because very weird, exactly like "fichero". Now, talking about Bonniq, they are overly empathic (me) and always try to make people feel better (same) and would feel terrible knowing they caused actual harm to someone they didn't mean to (twins!!!), in any case i dont think they would murder someone, less if they don't deserve it lol...!!! also can feel emotion through text, not a psychic ability or anything just an instinct (unless i am a psychic and i didn't know...)

Going to talk a lil bit about their design here...

She has those 2 horns with what seems to be an additional horn growing in them, i did it because it looks cool that's the only explanation :b... Decided she was a blue-blood coz my bday is 5/11 and that makes me a blue blood (i hate it, was thinking about indigo-blooded but, eh, the character looks like a blue-blooded lol). She uses make up because I LOVE MAKEUP... and making my own oc without make up feels like a crime!!! her pupils are divided in 2 coz my favourite number is 2 :b! About her outfit, I chose that because it's what I wear to school (i changed the colors duh...) and I love it!!! The neon red belt is because i fuckin love that color and i would av used it if i wasn't a blue blood :v... gloves because i love gloves, i would use them everyday!! I gave her a shady look and pose to show the "indexTrafficker" part of them XD

Anyways a super long post but I loved drawing her and i wanted to show them to the rest...!!! thanks for reading if anyone did???

#homestuck #trollsona #fantroll #fan troll #troll oc #homestuck oc #longy post

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wordtowords · 1 year

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Chris, Mick, and the Art of Artifice

artifice - noun - clever devices used to trick or deceive (Google).

Let's face the music and accept that for whatever reason(s), human beings embrace the concept of deception. And now that the Internet (via social media) has opened the backstage door for endless opportunities for a little or a lot of artifice, no one is safe from scammers, or in my case, ordinary people pretending to be rock stars.

Because I am in the music business along with just about everyone else, I have to spend time on social media just advertise my original songs and get them circulating among listeners throughout the globe. Although I am a minuscule presence on TikTok, Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter, Linked-In, Facebook, I try to post at least three times a week to generate a following, which isn't easy as there are 100,000 songs released on the music streaming channels daily and 100,000 artists promoting them. Apparently as FB is the medium of choice for celebrities, more grifters use it to impersonate them than any other platform. I am lucky because the con artists who hit on me generally do not want money; they just want to take me to bed. Case in point, one man, who just happens to have the name Christopher Cross like the musician (who is actually the real imposter since his surname isn't actually Cross) tried to impersonate him in order to trick me into meeting him. Fortunately, I was onto him right from the start. Just in case this should ever happen to you (maybe on YouTube in the comments section), an authentic celebrity would never ask you when you became his or her fan. And most likely as an icebreaker, he or she would never thank you for being his or her fan. I know from experience that unless they are extreme narcissists, celebrated people tend to want to step away from themselves for a few and come across as being average. So it was clear that Chris wasn't the celebrated Chris since he made the mistake of doing what all trolls do initially: he asked, "How long have you been my fan?" (I replied, "I've never been your fan." Oh, well. You can fool some of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time.)

Of course, it is true that there are famous types out there who do interface with fans and do use artifice (such as different names) so that they don't attract attention. I am contending with someone right now who claims to be Micheal Philip Jagger, which is Mick Jagger's full name. Even though he has the blue checkmark verifying his identity, my daughter claims that he is in no way real, mainly because eighty-year-old men don't know how to navigate FB. Sensible, smart she contends that Mick no doubt has troops of well-paid assistants assigned to connect with the public on social media. The real Mick, romantically linked to a thirty-six-year-old dancer, would not have a second to reach out to me. Which all makes sense, yet this inchoate swindler is atypical so far. Like Macbeth and most politicians after him, Micheal could just be quite good at duplicity until some day, his artifice is exposed as such, and he is uncovered and cancelled (the beauty of social media).

On the other hand, I did read an article on the web stating that you can never truly be sure whether or not you are being hoodwinked. It is possible that the person is indeed the person he or she says he or she is. Just make sure you don't wire any money to him or her and you don't friend him or her. As far as my Micheal, I am playing his game, pretending I don't realize that he is attempting to be Mick. And I am acting as though I am the bigger celeb whose privacy is kept private. In the end, the greater pretender will win, I suppose, if there can be a winner at shenanigans. Let's put it this way, if the actual Mick should die, and Micheal keeps liking my posts, I'll have my answer. (I hope it doesn't come down to that, though, because I am Mick's fan.)

The obvious paradoxical takeaway here is that sometimes you have to be deceptive in order to expose deception. Truth doesn't come easily.

#word-to-words, #slice-of-life, #blog, #blogging, #editorial, #reading, #vocabulary, #ReadersMagnet, #spilled thoughts, #good advice, #personal-essay, #writing community, #writing, #philosophy, #truth, #social media, #deception, #human nature

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romione-trope-fest · 2 years

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The Flower Arrangement

@accio-broom has gifted us with a perfect combination of Fuck or Die and Sixth Year AU! Enjoy!

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Fic Title: The Flower Arrangement Author Name: accio-broom Selected Trope: Fuck or Die / 6th Year AU Brief Summary: Hermione has a bad case of Hanahaki, and unless the man she loves steps up to save her, she might die. Word Count: 4,513 Rating: M Any Trigger Warnings: Hanahaki Disease, mentions of sex, blood. ---

Ron Weasley is in a fucking great mood.

It’s one of those days where nothing can go wrong. A merry tune plays in his head as he wakes and showers, all of his favourite clothes are clean and ready to wear, and there’s a spring in his step when he leaves the dormitory. The sun shines brightly through the window, and the reds and golds of Gryffindor Tower seem more vibrant than before.

Everything has been great since his poisoning at the start of the month. It’s a strange thing to say, but the whole experience was a blessing in disguise. Lavender is finally leaving him alone, and his illness magically fixed his rift with Hermione too.

If they could only beat Hufflepuff in next weekend’s game, life would be brilliant.

When Ron gets to the common room, Harry and Hermione are already waiting.

“‘Ello,” he greets them with a small wave and a grin. “Time for breakfast?”

Hermione scoffs as his stomach growls in agreement, but there’s a smile on her face as she leads them towards the portrait hole. “Do you ever consider anything other than that belly of yours, Ron?” she chastises.

“Never!”

A giggle escapes her lips, which causes his heart to flip. It’s fantastic having both his best friends back by his side. But especially her.

The trio walks towards the end of the corridor, discussing their lessons for the day like they normally do. But when they step onto the moving staircases, Ron is surprised to see Hermione’s face has turned pale.

“You okay?” he asks, a wave of concern flooding through him. The last thing he wants is for her to get sick. He’s been planning a trip to Hogsmeade this weekend and plenty of Butterbeer with just her.

“I’m a little…out of…breath.” She sounds like trolls have been chasing her around the castle but doesn’t look worried by her sudden breathlessness.

“You know she can’t talk and walk at the same time like us, mate,” Harry teases. “I keep on telling her she needs to do more exercise.”

As the staircase sweeps around to its first destination, Hermione grimaces. She rubs at her side as if trying to relieve a stitch and coughs. It’s only a small hack, suppressed by her hand, but as she unfurls her fist, a rose petal sits in her palm.

She doesn’t even wait until she’s recovered before challenging them. “Okay, what did you do?”

“What did who do?” Ron leans over her, confused as he stares at the petal. Her proximity is intoxicating, even with the puzzling item on display, and he struggles to keep his focus trained on her wellbeing.

“Well, what stupid charm from that Half-Blood stupid Prince book did you try on me? What did I tell you about consent and how important it is? You’d think after your poisoning, Ron, you’d have learned.”

“I didn’t do anything!”

“Woah!” Harry holds his hands up in surrender, stepping between his best friends as if to protect them, although which one needed it more is anyone’s guess. “We wouldn’t try anything on you, Hermione, and especially not without your permission. This...” He gestures towards the rose petal. “Isn’t the book’s fault.”

Her eyes narrow as she regards them for a long moment. The stairs click into place, jolting the three of them out of their conflict, but Hermione doesn’t continue to the next set. Instead, she tucks the petal into her pocket before pushing past the boys.

“I’ll see the both of you in Charms. I need to pop to the library. I forgot I have something important to look up.”

Hermione disappears before either of them can question why. A flurry of worries rushes through Ron’s brain, each one worse than the last. But Harry’s face is calmer as he stares back at his best friend.

“Merlin knows what’s gotten into her,” he quips as he heads towards the Great Hall.

“Right? Barmy witch. I guess she’ll expect us to bring her some toast or something.” Ron shakes his head as he takes his usual spot halfway down the Gryffindor table and fills his plate with breakfast food, Hermione’s rose petal forgotten.

⁂

But they don’t see Hermione in Charms. Neither does she make it to Double Potions, lunch, Transfiguration, or the one free lesson the three of them share. By the time dinner comes around, Ron’s worries are back in his head, churning his stomach with fret. Professor McGonagall marches towards him as he pushes his stew around his plate. There’s a massive frown on her face, making her look even more severe than ever.

What have I done now?

“Mister Weasley, I need you to come with me.”

Ron shovels his last spoonful of stew into his mouth before asking, “What’s going on?”

“It’s a matter of importance, but I’d rather not discuss it here. Come along.”

Harry throws another confused look at Ron, who shrugs in response. Like he’s supposed to know what’s happening?

“Guess I’ll see you later,” Ron placates Harry before jumping to his feet and hurrying to catch up with the Professor, who is making her way out of the Great Hall without checking he is following.

⁂

Professor McGonagall leads Ron through the Quad and past the Clock Tower before ascending four flights of stairs to the hospital wing. She places one finger on her lips before pushing open the heavy wood doors.

Hermione is the only patient. She occupies the lone bed in the furthest corner away, and green curtains have been pulled around her, although they don’t provide her with much privacy. A team of Healers encircle her, their quills scratching away at their parchment as they discuss their findings.

Ron pushes through them and rushes to Hermione’s side, scooping up her hand as he plonks himself into the only chair next to her bed. How did she get here? In a cruel twist of fate, they were in a mirrored position not even a month ago. We shouldn’t be spending this much time in the fucking Infirmary.

“I told you not to get him,” she croaks before rolling away from Ron as another coughing fit takes hold of her. She hacks and she hacks, sounding as if her lungs might give up. He holds his breath, wishing for the noise to stop and Hermione to be alright again. Madam Pomfrey shoves a paper bowl under her head, and when the fit stops, Ron is startled to see a handful of white roses peeking out from the top.

Well, almost white. As Pomfrey carries them away, he notices blood streaking their petals.

The Healers follow the school nurse away, most likely to examine the evidence of Hermione’s illness. Ron ignores the churn of nausea in his stomach as he imagines them poking and prodding through the flowers, her blood transferring to their quills and fingers, getting everywhere until they drown in a sea of it.

He’s never been squeamish. Even the memory of throwing up slugs doesn’t make him feel ill. But now it’s happening to Hermione, a light-headedness takes hold of him.

“Wh-what’s w-wrong?” Ron stutters as he struggles to comprehend the horrors he’s seeing. Hermione was healthy when he first saw her this morning. What the hell has happened?

“It’s Hanahaki Disease,” Professor McGonagall explains, pulling the curtains back around the bed once the team of Healers have left, so it’s just the three of them.

Hermione protests with a disgruntled noise straight away, and Ron is pleased to see there’s a small amount of fight left in her, even though she looks tiny against the crisp white sheets. Her skin is pale, and sweat mats her usually bouncy brown curls to her forehead. He’s never seen her looking this bad, even after she was Petrified during their second year.

But McGonagall ignores her, tutting as she perches at the foot of Hermione’s bed. “Hanahaki takes hold of the victim’s lungs when they suffer from an unrequited love. Miss Granger started coughing up petals this morning, but by lunchtime, it had taken control. She’s now in the final stage, where she vomits entire flowers.”

Unrequited love? A stab of pain takes hold of Ron’s heart. Although they never discussed it, he was sure he and Hermione were heading towards something. Now Lavender is out of the way, it’s supposed to be his and Hermione’s time.

But maybe he’s left it too late, and now she has her eye on someone else. Better not be bloody McLaggen. He could handle it, eventually, as long as it’s not that twat.

“She’ll be alright after though, won’t she?” His thumb circles around the back of Hermione’s clammy hand. He’s desperate to provide even a tiny amount of comfort to her, even if he’s not the one she loves. “This is the end, so she just needs me to sit with her until she feels better. No guy is going to want to chat her up while she’s laying in bed puking up flowers.”

Hermione groans, and her eyes roll into the back of her head at his comments.

“No, Mister Weasley. I’m afraid you’re not accepting the gravity of the situation. There are only two known cures to Hanahaki Disease. We can remove it surgically, and when the infection is removed, the victim’s romantic feelings will disappear. There are often side-effects, such as the sufferer being unable to ever feel love again, so it’s a risky option.”

“And, what else?”

“The disease disappears when the beloved returns their feelings.”

Ron chuckles. Well, that’s easy! Why didn’t they tell him earlier? But despite the ease of acknowledgement, his cheeks heat up as he proclaims, “I love Hermione. Is that why you brought me here? I’m her best friend. Of course I fucking love her.”

Professor McGonagall winces as another coughing fit takes hold of Hermione. The young witch gasps for air in between hacks, the petals of the roses now deep crimson with the blood staining them. It’s too much blood. How is she even still awake? And where the fuck is she keeping all those flowers?

“It has to be romantic love,” Professor McGonagall elaborates. “Strong friendship is never enough. And if that doesn’t happen and the victim refuses surgery, eventually, they will die.”

The world stops turning. Die? Ron doesn’t want Hermione to die. He can’t lose her. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him, even if they haven’t been able to bridge the gap between friendship and something more yet.

But it is supposed to be soon. Ron and Hermione’s trip to Hogsmeade was supposed to be a chance to take their first steps towards boyfriend and girlfriend. Now he might not get a chance, especially if she’s in love with someone else.

Pushing away all the grim thoughts of Hermione kissing someone else, Ron turns to her. He lowers his lips to her ear so she can hear him properly. “Just tell us who it is ‘Mione. I promise I won’t judge you. We can get him in here. He can say he loves you too, and you’ll be well again. I’d put ten galleons on the fact he adores you as well. How could he not?

“Or she. That’s okay too. Is that why you’re hiding it? You don’t have to be embarrassed around me.”

But Hermione doesn’t reply. Instead, she lets out an exasperated groan, as if they’re still sitting in the common room, and Ron has asked her for the answer to a homework question he should already know.

“Please, Hermione. I don’t want you to die.”

Clearing her throat, McGonagall places one hand on his shoulder, disturbing him from focusing on Hermione. When he lifts his head to look at his professor, Ron is surprised to feel tears burning in the corners of his eyes.

“I think what Miss Granger is unable to say,” McGonagall tells him, her voice more tender than usual. “Is that the object of her unrequited love…is….well…you.”

Oh.

It’s as if Impedimenta has been cast over them as everything slows and Ron’s heart stops for a moment. His eyes shoot back to look at Hermione. Despite the almost continuous cough that still brings up blood-stained flower after blood-stained flower, there’s a pink tinge in her cheek, although it’s not as bright as it usually is. Tears of embarrassment collect in her own eyes, but he resists the automatic urge to brush them away as if touching her might make the problem even worse. Her skin looks so delicate like it would bruise if he so much as breathed too hard near her.

How does she not know? He thought he’d been clear with her once they’d made friends that his intentions were more. The only reason Ron hasn’t dived straight into another relationship was because he didn’t want to hurt Lavender’s feelings any more than he already has. Plus, they still have to help Harry work out Slughorn’s secret, and who knows what might be coming once they’ve achieved it.

A heavy feeling, like an Erumpent plonking itself down, sinks in his stomach. Everything gone unsaid in the month since his poisoning has driven a gap between them, and he didn’t even notice it. How could he have let it get this far?

There’s only one solution. Instead of hiding from his feelings and relying on the other person to be the active player, Ron has to step up and summon all his Gryffindor courage. He needs everything out in the open, and not only to save Hermione’s life. Ron wants more from her.

But it’s hard.

“It’s not true, you know?” Ron keeps his gaze fixed on hers, wincing at the tremor in his voice. He lets out a shaky breath, trying to clear his mind before continuing, “The unrequited thing. In fact, it’s absolute bullshit. Merlin, I don’t even know where to begin in explaining how I feel about you. I didn’t want us to rush into things, not with everything else going on. I wanted everything to be right.”

Hermione blinks, letting free the tears Ron yearns to cry too, but he refuses to show them. He must stay strong for her.

“Please, stop,” she croaks, the agony in her voice like Gryffindor’s sword to Ron’s heart. “You don’t have to lie to save me.”

“I’m not!”

She tuts and averts her eyes, further fuelling his frustration. Another coughing fit takes over, and she pulls out of his grip, turning onto her side as she curls into a ball.

Desperation builds up and up, threatening to take over the small amount of sanity left within him. He pushes his hand through his hair before pulling at it. “Why didn’t that work?” he pleads with McGonagall. “I promise I’m speaking the truth.”

Professor McGonagall shifts awkwardly, although her face remains sympathetic. “This particular strain of the disease can only be relieved through the consummation of the relationship to prove your feelings are true.”

“Consummation?”

“To put it frankly, you will have to demonstrate your physical love for Miss Granger.”

Sex.

It’s the thing of all teenage dreams, sleeping with the woman you love. Ron has pictured it over and over, with only one girl in his mind. He even dreams about her at night. This should be the best opportunity he’s ever had.

But Hermione looks so poorly. The stream of flowers hasn't stopped since their discussion about the disease, and with every hack she grows weaker. The thought of having to climb on top of her, to do that with her right now repulses him. Not because of Hermione—Merlin, he’d have sex with her in an instant if she asked—but because she’s so unwell. He doesn’t want to take advantage of her.

But even as the horror of the situation courses through his blood, he’s desperate to help her. Ron cannot imagine his life without Hermione. He’d do anything for her.

“O-okay,” he finally says. A shudder of dread washes over him despite the tips of his ears turning pink. He can’t believe he’s here, having this conversation about saving Hermione’s life with sex, in front of Professor McGonagall.

“Ron, you don’t have to.” Hermione turns back towards him, and there’s something different clouding her deep brown eyes. Shame, disgust, horror—Ron cannot put his fingers on it, but he doesn’t care. He has to do what’s right.

Deciding now’s the time to show his true courage, he leans forward. Ignoring the congealed blood that collects in the corner of Hermione’s grimace, Ron gently presses his mouth to hers.

It’s not at all like he imagined it. Hermione’s lips are far too cold and dry, and instead of the mix of chocolate and peppermint he expects, Ron can only taste copper. But he continues anyway, scrunching his eyes up as the tears he’s been storing up finally release, wetting both their cheeks.

Pulling away, Ron rests his forehead against hers as he whispers, “I love you. Please let me help you with this. I can’t lose you.”

The witch still takes her time weighing up the pros and cons of the situation. Ron wants to shout at her that it’s a no-brainer, and surely she can see that between shagging him and dying, the first option is the better. Sure, he doesn’t want to ruin their friendship either, but if it happens and Hermione is still alive and able to love again, Ron could handle that.

Eventually.

Still, it’s his job to reassure her. “It’ll be okay,” he says with as much confidence as he can muster, even though he’s not sure of it himself.

Hermione nods as she lifts a shaky hand to his cheek, caressing it softly. “Okay.”

Although he doesn’t want to tear his eyes from hers, he risks a glance at McGonagall. “Professor, what do we do?”

“I’ll step out, give you some privacy. There are wards I can put around the area to help and once you’re…done…you should summon me and Madam Pomfrey so we can monitor Miss Granger’s progress.”

It’s all so clinical sounding and disgusting. Will Ron even be able to perform given the circumstances? He imagined his and Hermione’s first time in so many different ways, but never in the middle of the Infirmary with such dire consequences if he gets it wrong.

Despite his concerns, he gives his consent. He must at least try to save Hermione’s life.

It doesn’t take long for Professor McGonagall to make the arrangements. The curtains are pulled tight around Hermione’s bed, which she magically enlarges to make the deed more comfortable. Once Madam Pomfrey has given Hermione something to ease the cough temporarily, and both of them a potion to keep them safe, they’re left alone. The glisten of magical wards settles over them, cutting out the noise from the rest of the Infirmary.

Hermione sits up in bed, purple circles under her eyes and her skin paper-thin and pale. Yet, with the confession of love hanging between them, Ron’s never seen anyone look so beautiful.

He slides onto the bed next to her, a small smile drifting onto his face as she automatically rests her head against his. The movement is so natural, and he forgets her illness and takes delight in her actions for a moment. I could have had this so much sooner.

Yet, despite the temporary bliss, he can’t ignore Hermione’s ragged breathing, as if she’s clutching hold of every ounce of air. Ron runs his hand through her lank curls and says, “Let’s just take this slow, okay? We have as long as we need. Just me and you. I promise I’ll look after you.”

A nod against his shoulder is the consent he needs to drop his lips to her neck, peppering her skin lightly. Although he’s never done this before, his body acts on instinct, guiding his kisses and touch around her skin, listening to Hermione’s soft sighs to let him know what he’s doing is okay.

They wriggle down in the bed together, lying on their sides so they can explore each other properly. The moment is all so surreal, but as Ron works his kisses back up the column of her neck to her mouth, his body reacts. Hermione returns his kiss this time, her lower lip sliding against his. He can tell she’s trying to put as much of herself into it as possible, and his heart aches for her. A pair of trembling hands take hold of Ron’s hips, her light grip telling him this is okay, and she wants it as much as he does.

Growing more confident, he opens his mouth, grazing his tongue along the outline of hers. Ron devours her, forgetting Hermione’s near-death state and focusing only on making her feel good. But Merlin, how is he managing to get turned on by this all? He’s already so hard, and their position in the tiny bed makes it difficult for him to hide the fact.

He needs more.

Being careful not to hurt her, Ron carefully pushes Hermione onto her back and settles between her legs. Heat radiates from her centre, distracting him from their kisses. She’s so soft, so willing and accepting of what they have to do, and a sense of pride puffs up his chest as he realises he is the only one who can do this.

He pushes the infirmary-issued nightdress up as she loosens his trousers. Despite his promises of taking their time, their fingers fumble with each other’s clothes. Desperation clouds their judgement as hungry moans fall from their lips. But he can’t go all the way until he checks that she’s okay with this one last time. He might be trying to save her life, but consent is still important.

“Are you sure?” He explores her eyes, looking for any hint of hesitance in them. He understands the situation perfectly, but he still can’t believe it’s him she’s fallen for.

“Yes, Ron. I want you.”

It doesn’t take long for him to remove her knickers. He shifts into position and is about to slide into her when…

⁂

Ron wakes with a jerk, his heart pounding in his chest as he forces himself into a sitting position.

What the fuck was that?

A quick assessment of his surroundings tells him he’s in the Gryffindor sixth-year dormitory. Sunlight shines around the edges of the thick crimson curtains he drew around his bed last night. His sheets are rumpled, and sweat drenches his body. And, of course, he’s still fucking hard.

“Just a dream,” he mumbles to himself. He’s about to let his head drop back onto the pillow—maybe he can dream of being in bed with Hermione in a much better situation—when the residual worry about her bubbles back over. What if it wasn’t a dream? What if she’s still sick?

He jumps out of bed, his heart pounding in his chest as he shoves his feet into his beaten slippers. Forgetting he’s only in his threadbare pyjama bottoms and a holey vest, Ron takes the stairs two at a time. His pulse throbs in his neck as he emerges from the spiral staircase and takes in the busy common room. How late did I sleep in? His eyes scour the crowds until eventually, he locates Harry and Hermione, sitting on their usual sofa with a book between them.

Racing towards them, Ron ignores the disgruntled complaints from the students he barges into. Once he reaches his friends, he throws himself onto his knees at Hermione’s feet, pulling her hands from the book and into her lap, pausing only for a moment to delight in the way her slim fingers interlace instantly with his.

“Ron?” A frown unfurls over her forehead as she takes him in. Ron is a sweaty, dishevelled mess and probably grossing her out, but he has to make sure. He has to know she’s going to be okay.

“You’re alright?”

“I’m perfectly fine, are you?”

“Are you sure? You’re not sick? Haven’t randomly started coughing up rose petals or anything?”

Hermione’s frown deepens. “What’s going on? What have you done? Did you take a bludger to the head or something?”

Relief bubbles in Ron’s chest, escaping from him in a loud laugh. He reaches for Hermione, sliding his hands to cup both her cheeks. Her skin is soft, plump and warm, unblemished by anything. There are no drops of blood discolouring her lips, and she breathes with a lightness he’s never heard before. Hermione looks young and full of life, and Ron has never been so fucking happy about it.

Forgetting everything his dad taught him about consent, Ron leans into her and presses a soft kiss to her lips. Peppermint and chocolate overwhelm his senses, just as he imagined it. Her taste drives him cuckoo and sends a buzz of pleasure straight to his cock, which has only just recovered from his dream.

The snog doesn’t last long, and it’s over before it’s even started, but it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

A cacophony of cheers fills the common room, but Ron ignores it and the puzzled look Hermione gives him as he declares, “I love you, okay? I don’t ever want you to think that I don’t. Can I take you out this afternoon to Hogsmeade? On a date?”

A blush fills her cheeks, but a coy smile gives away her true feelings about Ron’s confession and invitation. “Yes, please. I’d like that a lot.”

They stare at each other for a moment longer before Harry clears his throat, pulling them out of their lovestruck reverie. Although the corners of his mouth twitch as if he’s trying to suppress a smile, his cheeks are bright red, and he refuses to make eye contact with Ron. “You two okay?”

“Never been better, mate. I’m going to go get a shower, and then it’s time for breakfast, yeah?”

Ron knows what Hermione will say before she opens her mouth, but he delights in the words anyway. “Do you ever consider anything other than that belly of yours, Ron?”

“Yeah,” he quips back. “Sometimes, I think about you.”

He gets to his feet before she can retaliate. Someone wolf-whistles, but Ron ignores the noise. Everything feels good, the day is off to a great start, and nothing will go wrong. And to top it off, he’s pretty sure he just asked out the girl of his dreams.

As he climbs up the staircase, Ron is on top of the world. Relief fills his heart at the knowledge it was all just a nightmare. Maybe he should stop reading Dean’s Muggle comics before he goes to bed. Perhaps Hermione can suggest something a little lighter to read instead.

The thought of having to fuck Hermione to save her life is kind of hot. Although he’d rather not have his girlfriend’s life in peril again, he wouldn’t mind having to step up.

Although, perhaps that’s something he should keep to himself for now.

#submission

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silverskye13 · 2 years

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Hello I am, going to be ranting about things that don't matter to add my thoughts to a conversation I have no part in, but I read a lot so I have thoughts.

I'm fresh off MattPat's latest Game Theory video talking about how video games might be changing [and ruining] their stories because theorists post their thoughts online. This is an old conversation that has at this point affected every major industry, but got really big when Marvel Movies started getting touchy about spoilers. That is: the idea that because someone has put the clues together in your plot, you MUST change your plot, so you can be surprising. Shock factor in a story is more important than story integrity. And whenever this conversation comes up, almost every time passionate fans say a story suffers when you randomly change the plot. This seems like a no-brainer to me, and whenever I hear a studio has made a bunch of changes to their product in order to shock their audience, my conclusion always ends up being, "Wow, these people have never consumed a good thriller, have they?"

If you've followed my blog for any substantial amount of time, you'll know I love horror. I don't write it... Ever. But if you troll through my liveblogging tags, you'll notice all the books I've read and reviewed and commentated on, barring maybe one, was a horror book. One of my favorite things to do is to sink my teeth into horror and absolutely rip it apart. Did it scare me? Did it compel me? Was it good? Why? My favorite subgenre in the horror category is - well it's ghost stories. But actually, it's thrillers. I love thrillers. I love being given an average joe idiot family, throwing them in a spooky house, setting a killer loose on the premises, and then playing the "oh god, who's the bad guy" game. It's a very fun game that you can really play with thriller books, in my opinion? Because in thriller movies, generally the killer is plastered all over the trailer. But books get ambiguous names like "Ten" with a knife on the front. Love it.

Speaking of Ten, Ten is my favorite thriller. At the same time I was reading Ten, I was also reading another thriller, which I'm going to call "Karen", because I can't actually remember the book title. Karen in my least favorite thriller I've ever read, and a great case story on how not to write a thriller.

Karen started out doing everything right. We had a killer/kidnapper. We have a kidnapped kid. We have a mother who we know is going to be the next victim. We have a house that's being broken into and her children being stalked. The thrill is whether Karen figures out who is trying to kill her and take her kids, and if she can stop them before The Bad Shit happens. It was incredibly compelling. I was engaged with every little crumb and clue the author was feeding me. And I had a really good case for who the killer was and why. This was incredibly exciting for me, because this was the first time I was so immersed in a thriller that I was actively trying to figure out what would happen next -- and I was actually succeeding in figuring it out! All the plot points were adding up. Everything was falling satisfyingly in place! Soon I would figure out how Karen would stop the bad guy! And then, three chapters from the end, the author introduces us to a new character. This is a character we would have no idea ever existed, unless we were in this character's POV. She was completely unknown to Karen, and thus needed her own chapter to explain who she was and why she existed. It was then that the author explains, in an incredibly straightforward and self-aggrandizing monologue, that Karen is stupid for thinking she'd figured out who the bad guy was. And you, dear reader, are stupid by extension. The person stalking Karen's kids? The person breaking into Karen's house? The person harassing Karen and making her feel scared and paranoid and driving the plot towards it's conclusion? Was not the bad guy we had been introduced to in the opening scene and had been lead to believe was the bad guy this whole time. Well, that evil man does exist and is out doing evil somewhere. But he's not the one bothering Karen. This girl who we've never met up until this point is. This girl has no reason to hate Karen. She just does. This girl has no reason to hurt Karen's kids. She just wanted to scare them. And it is this character who we had no reason to believe even existed, who kills the main bad guy and vanishes into the night. Karen thinks she's solved her problems, but really she hasn't. This random character did all the hard work, and all the terrorizing. Karen will never know. But you, reader, do.

I was devastated when I read that chapter. Absolutely gutted. This author had given me a bunch of random puzzle pieces in the shape of a horse, and gave me a reference picture that had a horse on it, and grinned smugly when I didn't realize the puzzle was supposed to make a dog. It was such a bad read, and such a bad chapter, I didn't even finish the remaining two chapters of the book. Those chapters no longer mattered. They were to a story that no longer existed. That is a bad thriller. And it's a story format I have run into a lot with thriller and horror, and it kills me every time. Thriller, horror, and mystery novels even, are a very smart, commentative story format when used well. They don't have to be, but they can! And they thrive best when all the clues the author lays out for you actually add up. In fact, that is the sole reason people read mystery books. For thriller, it's an added bonus, and it adds to the horror. Nothing is scarier than figuring out who the bad guy is, and being unable to tell your main character you're incredibly attached to!! Watching someone walk straight to their demise because they don't know any better is a gripping experience! Or a very vindictive experience, if you happen to hate the character. But regardless, the emotional engagement on that kind of story is incredibly powerful. When a writer builds that connection, forces your emotional engagement, and then shames you for thinking you've figured it out? It punishes the reader for being engaged.

So I've told you about Karen. Now I'm going to cycle back to Ten. Ten was a very good, very successful thriller, and it was one that I had no reason to be invested in. It set me up with an annoying main cast, a submissive main character set to damsel in distress her way to the final chapter, and a love interest I could care less for. But it gave me one good hook. In the opening scene, the two best friend characters are talking.

Girl one says, "Look! There will be cute boys at this party! Why don't you go after him?"

Girl two rolls her eyes and answers snobbishly, "I can't date him. He's fake. Did you see his eyebrows? They're black, but his hair is blonde. He dyed his hair before he came here."

That boy is the killer. That is the first hint that something is wrong. And it was buried incredibly well. The author gave us a snobby character who of course would care about something stupid like that. The author reinforced that character as a bad informant, making her mean to the POV character, making our POV character make excuses for her. "normally she's nicer." Yeah yeah, we know how the submissive main character is supposed to act around her bossy best friend. But as it turns out, her best friend has been off her meds - so of course she's meaner than normal. Her medication helps her control her mood swings. I'm not doing this information justice, but suffice it to say the author gave the audience every clue to who the killer was. And gave us a competent [if easily dismissed] character to read the clues through. Anyone looking for that information and tracking where it was going would figure out who the killer was. I, personally, was blindsided. All the clues were put places where they were easily dismissed, with characters who were easy to hate or ignore. It wasn't until the antagonist revealed himself and his motives that everything clicked into place. And the story was incredibly satisfying, and even knowing how it ended, I reread it again and again. Suddenly all those tiny stupid clues meant the world. I could revel in the fact that I could see it coming. That was an excellent thriller.

Now, all that to say this: I'm not a game designer. I don't write movie or tv show scripts. I am a somewhat functional fic writer who sometimes talks too much on the internet. I love good stories. And I'm intelligent enough to break down for myself why I think stories work. Shock value is nice. Not being able to see a twist coming is cool. But only if that twist makes sense. If you blindside your audience with information they had no way of knowing, that isn't fun, and the thrill is ultimately pretty cheap. It will get you once, but never again. There is no build, nothing to savor or enjoy. And there is no additional tension. Shock is instant gratification. It is everything leading up to the shock that is memorable. In a well written, well integrated thriller, what is mystery on the first read is horror on the second, because you know what's coming. You see every invisible moment of peril you weren't previously privy to. And victories are sweeter when you can grasp the full scope of what the characters are up against. And yeah, it sucks to feel predictable. It sucks to feel like someone out there was smarter than you, because they figured out your clever secret before you wanted them to. But the story isn't about you, the author. The story is, well, it's about the story. And if it's a bad story? No one will read it.

#the barking writer #rant #im just saying people knew by chapter 10 Ammy was going to die #people still cried when she did #that was a big teaching moment for me #it really doesnt matter if your audience is smart enough to figure it out #it matters if what they figure out makes sense and stands on its own two feet #long post

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ct-multifandom · 3 years

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Miracuclass Amogus Cringe

I was going back and forth about making this post, but then I saw @charming-mage ‘s and I was like screw it we’re doing this. This ended up 10x longer than I thought it’d be.

Marinette (crewmate) - tries to organize everyone into a buddy system to corner the impostors, gets frustrated when people agree to her plan and then start running rogue. When discussions start she’s leading the conversation and asking the most questions. She greatly prefers crewmate over impostor because she likes the mystery solving element of discussions.

Marinette (impostor) - whenever she kills someone she goes, “ahhhh” out loud and panics while her avatar sprints away from the body. She likes coming up with convoluted plans, especially when she can communicate with her fellow imp(s), and tries to make it seem like she’s in two places at once wether it be through venting or falsified testimony.

Adrien (crewmate) - he has to unmute and ask how to do like every individual task to the point where he’s been voted out over it before because cmon, you’ve gotta be lying about it at this point, just piece it together and stop unmuting during task time. He makes puns and sings little improvised songs while tasking. When he suspects someone but they don’t get voted out, he offers to tail them at the cost of his own safety. Same with fixing sabotages late-game. To him, getting killed is just part of the game progression, and it’s not a big deal because he trusts his fellow crewmates to avenge him and doesn’t mind ghost-tasking.

Adrien (impostor) - okay maybe he lies about not knowing tasks sometimes. But it also took him a while to learn imp mechanics and he kept asking about them out loud like, “what’s the red square task on the floor? Why’s my name highlighted?” And somehow nobody noticed while his partner(s) were like nggggg Adrien no... At least he’s good at playing innocent/fake-detective-ing in discussions. Whenever he kills someone he makes some stupid one-liner about it out loud.

Alya (crewmate) - we got Sherlock Holmes over here. She overanalyzes every tiny detail and isn’t scared to sacrifice the sus for the greater cause. When she finishes tasks, she likes to hang out by security and snoop in case of the rare satisfaction of catching someone red-handed. If there’s an emergency meeting, it’s probably because she probably saw something. She supports Crewinette’s plans to corner the imps. She thinks tasks wins are boring and that it’s a lot more fun to win through voting correctly. If they task-win or lose she stops before the new game and asks who the imps were and for a recap of their actions.

Alya (impostor) - a force to be reckoned with. She’ll wait for the perfect moment to strike someone, and then cover her tracks, join a group and win herself a strong alibi anyways. Her reputation as a ruthless detective protects her, even when the game is set to show that the ejected person was innocent. She always chooses someone to kill and someone to blame for it, but sometimes she gets carried away and they vote her off for pointing too many fingers.

Nino (crewmate) - he’s just tasking, man. If he gets killed he’s like, “oh mf” and just keeps ghost-tasking. He mostly hangs out during the discussions unless he has something solid to say, only jumping in at the end to confirm, “so we’re voting for _?”. He leads his own little crewmate squad around when he finishes tasks to protect them while they finish theirs.

Nino (impostor) - mostly plays off the strategy of his partner(s). He likes playing the protective team-player type “innocent diversion” role while the partner(s) get to killing, so when discussions start he’s totally in the clear, which gives him an opening to dodge suspicion in the future if he needs to take over killing. He pretends to fix sabotages all the time because people rely on him to do that as a crewmate.

Max (crewmate) - freakishly good at the card scanning task. People always ask for his secret and he’s like? It’s so easy? He has every map memorized to a t so he can point out the contradictions in people’s stories like an ace attorney character. It’s surprisingly really helpful. He’s the opposite of Alya in that he’s a big supporter of the “guys, stop voting off random innocent people, we have like five tasks left. Whoever hasn’t done them, just finish them” strategy.

Max (impostor) - he tries his best to protect his partner(s) in the discussion while laying low himself, and sometimes he gets voted out for it, but if he senses that there’s nothing he can do, he’ll throw them even further under the bus to build credit for himself. He doesn’t like sacrificing innocents as a crewmate, so his defenses are only sus when he’s caught being wrong. He sabotages a lot to control people’s movements and vents liberally unless he committed to a tasking group. That being said, he can go whole rounds without killing out of caution.

Kim (crewmate) - he’s the guy who calls emergency meetings early into the game only to say, “I miss you guys :)” He gets voted out all the time for doing troll-y crap and ignoring Crewinette’s plans. He’s also severely confused by some of the tasks and game mechanics, but fakes it till he makes it, until the discussion where he rarely says anything valuable and just jokes around. Sometimes, though, he’ll offer a tiny offhand detail and everyone’s like Kim, I hate to say it, but you’re a genius or that’s the piece we’ve been missing! And he’s like haha ok. He’s always behind on tasks, sometimes out of laziness, sometimes out of confusion, but he’s one of the people Max is impatiently waiting on.

Kim (impostor) - he gets caught in the act a lot and it’s hilarious, but other times he gets away with everything the entire time, which is kinda scary. He’s weirdly good at introducing so much confusion and derailment to discussions that everyone gets totally lost and doesn’t know what’s going on, allowing him to survive when they could’ve easily figured him out. Unlike Max, he knows literally nothing about the maps and always says he was at the “slidey thing” or whatever and everyone’s like idk wtf the slidey thing is, and if this were anyone else they’d be gone immediately, but it’s Kim so he might actually be telling the truth. He refuses to learn the names of anything because this really helps him out.

Alix (crewmate) - always trying to convince her friends to experiment with ridiculous game settings. Occasionally, she gets to them, and they get games with comically unbalanced imp:crew ratios, awful lighting, an overwhelming load or lack of tasks, or hilariously low cool downs. She revels in the chaos. When she tasks she usually moves from place to place alone but tries to hop in with groups to confirm her movements. She’s pretty good at sussing imps out when they offer enough information, but otherwise she just makes goofy comments with Kim.

Alix (impostor) - not too worried about killing people and venting. She moves fast and dashes from place to place, joining a group on the opposite side of the map from her last body. If anyone says, “I saw someone vent but I didn’t see who” it was probably her. She likes the “stand in a clump and watch the chaos ensue when one person drops” technique as well as the gambling “hope that the UI for the task everyone’s doing covers your killing and venting” strat. Sometimes she’s forced to vent to a dead end and gets caught, and sometimes the big brain detectives catch her, but she’s usually pretty smooth.

Rose (crewmate) - a big fan of hide and seek mode. She likes grouping up for tasks, protecting each other at the cost of efficiency. During discussions, she has a hard time believing anyone’s the impostor, and everyone’s like, Rose, we know there are exactly three of them, you can’t defend every individual person. Whenever she gets killed she is like *gasp* et tu, Brute? No matter who it was.

Rose (impostor) - runs around with her squad when... oops... looks like something got sabotaged! Uh oh, wonder who could’ve done that? She’s in a battle against that task bar more so than the players, and tries to stay away from killing. She emulates crewmate behavior perfectly so no one ever suspects her until really late. If she’s the only imp left and she has to kill, it’s like an Agatha Christie locked room mystery level of drama and betrayal within her squad. But we were all together the whole time... omfg no way... it was one of us.

Juleka (crewmate) - she secretly prefers when everyone tasks alone, but goes with the squad for Rose. She only talks in discussions if she’s 100% sure about something, and she often incomprehensibly mumbles vital evidence. ~10 minutes later when they catch the imp she’s like iItoldyouso and the crew’s like ??? If she gets killed and her tasks are done, she haunts that impostor relentlessly. Sometimes she even organizes ghost brigades in ghost chat and gets everyone to follow them.

Juleka (impostor) - definitely gets a kick out of the kill button. Whenever she takes someone down she’s like heeheehee. If she was peer pressured into a task team again, she’ll anxiously try to slip away unnoticed for a second to catch someone in the hallway outside, but if she’s alone, she’s on a hunt. Nobody is safe. When she defends herself on voice chat she also mumbles incomprehensibly and everyone’s like sure, fair enough.

Mylene (crewmate) - seasoned task group leader. She also sings little task songs like Adrien. She tries to organize people into chatting regular status updates so they can tell if someone goes missing. She reports every body she finds and actively participates in the discussion, but whenever she makes good points, she gets overlooked. Then, the crew’s like Mylene, why didn’t you say anything sooner? And she’s like agjdjdhh Either that or she gets voted off for always reporting and being too eager to discuss on top of it.

Mylene (impostor) - gets her partner(s) inside her team and tries to tag-team anyone passing by, only for all the impostors to have alibis when she reports. If the ratio is right, they can destroy their own group, and then immediately point the finger at whoever is left, which works about half the time. Mylene is a pretty convincing actress, but the high IQ tricks only work a couple times.

Ivan (crewmate) - he’ll take one for the team if he has to, especially in those sabotage cases where you’d have to be isolated and vulnerable. Otherwise he’ll protect his group. He has an “innocent until proven guilty” attitude when he runs into other people on the map, and skips during a lot of the votes.

Ivan (impostor) - we all know he can’t lie to save his life. He usually gets voted out really fast if he kills someone because he gets nervous and starts saying contradictory things when questioned. That being said, he’ll do what he can to keep his partner(s) in the clear. He never vents because the risk is too high for him, instead just running around and saying, “sorry” out loud when he catches a victim.

Nathaniel (crewmate) - he’s the opposite of Adrien in that he’ll do anything to avoid getting killed. He runs around tasking on his own, but he’s usually behind because he’s so focused on avoiding everyone, to Max’s frustration. He also never reports bodies. This causes him to be sus at all times, so he gets voted out a lot. Wild Nath sightings are rare and terrifying because he’s never in the clear and he’s just standing there, menacingly. Imp!Alix sees him as a fun combo of Where’s Waldo and Assassin.

Nathaniel (impostor) - the millisecond that cool down timer runs out, someone is getting killed. Hit and run. He’s good at entering a fairly crowded large space, striking, and staying in everyone’s blind spots while he runs away, especially when the lights are out. He likes venting to isolated areas and killing as many people per round as he can, laughing when someone finally reports and everyone unmutes to go WHAT!? at the number of deaths. He tends to operate separately from his partner(s) unless they have an actual plan.

Chloe (crewmate) - gathers every single person in medbay and makes sure they all watch her scan. Yeah okay, we get, you’re a crewmate. She feels personally offended whenever someone kills her, which is often, since people tend to jokingly target her. During discussions, she accuses anyone and everyone of being sus, even if she just walked past them or saw them tasking alone. She likes stalking people as a ghost and spilling tea in ghost chat.

Chloe (impostor) - reacts similarly to Marinette when she kills. She will throw her partner(s) under the bus if it’s more advantageous in the long run, and she’s great at shifting the blame to innocents. People vote her out a lot anyways, and she says she can’t believe that they even like this stupid little game. Ridiculous, utterly ridiculous. Unless she wins. Then it’s fun.

Sabrina (crewmate) - discussion detective supreme. She keeps track of every piece of evidence and testimony, every detail. She tails the sus at a distance, trying to catch them doing something. Sometimes it gets her targeted, but sometimes she catches them and calls emergency meetings to snitch. Somehow she manages to do this and finish her tasks at the same time.

Sabrina (impostor) - sabotages everything, and tries to get her partner(s) to do it too. Once she won because the crew just didn’t fix O2 in time. She avoids killing Chloe, but feels bad if she has to kill anyone else too. She typically just sticks to making other people seem suspicious, and likes the game mode where you can’t see if you voted correctly or not.

Lila (both) - she rarely joins these games. She isn’t even a member of the chat group they use. They occasionally invite her, and she usually lies about how busy she is, but she accepted a couple times to further her narrative. She pretends to be really bad at being an impostor to establish herself as someone incapable of trickery. Regardless of her role, whenever the body announcement pops up, she goes, “oh nooo, not [victim(s)]... nooo....” and Mari’s like stfu Lila.

Bonus Polaroid kids because,,, they <3

Kagami (crewmate) - hella efficient at tasks. Two discussions in and she’s done. She’s the interrogation specialist who stresses out the imps and crew alike with her barrage of questions. She likes moving either alone or in partners, three people maximum, unless Crewinette needs her, in which case she’ll stick to the plan no matter what.

Kagami (impostor) - you’re walking through the base / there’s no one around and comms are down / out of the corner of your eye you spot her / Kagami Tsurugi. She will have you cornered and you won’t be able to do anything about it. She always has a made up explanation for what she was doing, but sometimes it falls through solely because she’s always acting sus.

Luka (crewmate) - he likes crewmate a lot more than impostor. He’ll tag along with a task group until he’s done, and then he’ll go lurk in the corner and spy on people. He moves along the walls, and a few times this has led to him witnessing murders in the middle of the room while the imp only saw him after it was too late. Cue the mad dash for emergency meeting.

Luka (impostor) - works together with his partner(s) to perform some high level backstabbery. He rarely gets voted out unless he messes up because he builds bonds of trust with like half of the crew while he leads the rest into his partner(s)’ traps. He feels bad about killing sometimes, but he doesn’t mind sabotaging.

Zoe (crewmate) - she finds one or two other people she trusts and follows them around. She uses the logic of “well we could’ve both killed each other by now but we didn’t so they must be safe”. She immediately recounts everything that happened to her that round in discussions, even irrelevant details, just in case they might end up useful, and tends to bandwagon with voting.

Zoe (impostor) - tries to catch people in secluded corners or rooms with closable doors to kill them. She avoids taking risks, but sometimes she reports her own bodies and tries to act all surprised by the discovery. She’s a good actress, but she’s not the best bs artist, although the crew is used to her giving a ton of details right from the start, so they don’t suspect her unless there’s a hole in her story.

Marc (crewmate) - does tasks on his own but makes sure to stop near crowds when he can. Whenever he’s running around alone and sees someone else, he immediately turns around like ohmygodohmygod and anxiously dances around the other person who’s more than likely just another, equally anxious crewmate with places to be. He still gets killed a lot.

Marc (impostor) - he goes full anime villain mode. All according to keikaku. He’s one of those people who disproportionately rolls the impostor role and ends up with it like twice every five games. He plans out every move he’s gonna make, every complex lie and big brain play, and sometimes he gets that glorious evil win, but sometimes his plans are totally sabotaged by stupid things like Kim’s trolling.

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burningthemidnightcityoil · 3 years

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ON CLASSES

Classpects run on Irony, Puns, Wordplay, and each class has a secondary verb, in addition to the one they share with their pair.

Witch - Which. “Choose / Choice”. A Witch chooses power. Witches are the Powerhouse of the Session(cell). They are akin to Thieves, for a Witch takes power. But the difference here is that a Witch doesn’t need to take it from other people, a Witch takes back their own power from whatever Guardian (or “familiar”) has it. Its not like an Heir, where the Heir can just wait for it to come; a Witch has to grab it or be forced into its service.

Heir - Air/Err. “Inherit”. An Heir inherits power. While Heirs are akin to the Page, where they both inspire others to help them; the difference here is that Heirs will inspire others to Guide them (Literally inspire others to act as Seers), while Pages inspire others to Serve them (Inspire others to act as Knights). Heirs don’t like being Served (In fact, Heirs Homestuck-Historically have conflicts with Guardians because of their Service), and Pages don’t like being Guided. (Most Pages tend to talk smack about those trying to Guide them)

Mage - Magician. “Perform”. Mage’s are showy, in addition to being knowitalls. How you are Seen is Important. There are three Mages, two known and one HC’d, that give this. Sollux, inspite of his problems, is a Show Off and tries to play it off Smoothly. His performance is more important than his powers (Or Spells, if we’re dedicated). Meulin also tends to be Showy. Both by showing off her favorite couples, and by her Disciple self showing off her rommance on literal cave walls. HC’d Mage, Diamonds Droog / Draconian Dignitary, is all about the Show and the Class, and not about Flash Powers or Transformations.

Seer - To See. “Envision”. Seers See Seas. What you see is important. Unlike their counterpart, the Mage, A Seer’s visions are more important than their Spells. (This is inspite of the fact that both Mages and Seers are equally capable of both Visions and Spells, as well as Performance. It seems what what indicates if you’re a Mage or a Seer is if what’s important is How you are Seen, or What you See; A Mage wants to be Seen, a Seer wants to See).

Thief - To Steal / To Steel / Steel yourselves. “Enforce”. If Knights are the Law, Thieves are the Enforcers; because they literally reinforce themselves by taking what they want. Let’s take this a step further, and include all definitions of Enforce Thieves Strengthen, Intensify, Force, Drive and Urge whatever they set their sights on, to be what they want it. (After all, they Steal, or Take By Force / Violence)

Rogue - To Go Rogue / Haywire. “To Cross”. Rogues are pretty good about making connections, and making connections work; be it between people, or their Aspect. (Roxy between her Friends and her Windows; Nepeta with her Romances)

Knight - Night. “To Bare / Bear”. Bear hands? This may seem outlandish, but the origin of the word Night is “Bare” or “To be Bare of Sunlight”. And Knights tend to put on a kind of Mask, or Shield, or rather, Helm / Helmet as they feel their weaknesses (or what they think are their weaknesses) feel bare to the world (Dave and his Sunglasses; Karkat and his Temper; Latula and her Gamer Attitude).

Page - Chapter. “To Assemble” YOU BOY, EQUIP ARMS. This one took a bit, but what’s a Page without a Chapter? Be it a Chapter in a Book of Pages, or a Council to of all those they have called on to serve them. A Page is a Knightly figure that has a Round Table, akin to a Rogue’s Merrymen. A Page inspires others to play Knight to them, or to serve them. To call to Arms, or call to Action. So basically, if Robin Hood is a Rogue’s Mythic figure, King Arthur is a Page’s mythic figure. So literally, all those a Page calls on personally, makes them apart of their Round Table of Knights. (Wait, does this mean that HS^2 Jane is Morgan Le F--)

Maid - Made. “To Make” Sugar, Spice and Everything Nice. Maids are the Makers. They don’t so much as Maintain, though they do that too, as they create. Consider. Aradia is a prime example. She dies, so she makes Time for herself as a very powerful Poltergeist. She becomes a Robot, and makes Time for Herself by her many many Robot Time Copies, or as Time is Numeral, making Numbers. She becomes a Godtier, and suddenly, Time in the Dream Bubbles align perfectly with the Present. Notice how when we are first introduced to the Dream Bubbles, Time was a real nonlinear pain. But when Aradia took the Reins on this Time Management Stuff, and suddenly the Dream Bubbles were Linear and aligned with our Story. She did want to see the end, after all (And the more living Time Gods entered the Bubbles, the more Linear things became) For Porrim, its about Making Space for others in both her various views and her uh... Various Views. For the Dolorosa, this included making Space for herself, and for her son. She possibly even helped direct him closer to the idea of Freedom (And he did see visions of another space in time...)

Sylph - Sylvan / Wood Threshold. “To Matter” Okay, this one is like the Knight’s, if not more complicated (and likely gonna require more development in the future, cos this took waaay too much digging for my liking). Thing is, Sylph is a difficult thing to name from name alone unless you look into the word itself. Because its derived from Sylvan “Of the woods”. But we break that down into two things. Silva, the Woods, and Hyle, Matter. Hyle / Hule is already the Greek word for Matter or Wood in any case. And our word for Matter is already derived from Mater, the Latin word for Mother. (The original English word was displaced by Latin; Andwork was once our word for Matter). Unfortunately, I can’t quite make the connections here yet, so I’m not sure if “To Matter” is the proper verb. I can, however, describe some loose connections that at least tell me I’m on the right track: ... Sylphs are defined by their Environment; Such as Kanaya’s relations regarding Trolls (A motherly figure), Aranea defined herself by Information and giving Information (which ain’t healthy), Mindfang defined herself a Thief because the Troll Empire was lead by a Thief And HC’d Sylph of Mind, Snowman was, quite literally, the Universe (And its Multiverse, which is a Mind thing). So a Sylph defines herself by her “Woods”, or like a Nymph / Dryad, by her “Tree / Wood / Matter”. And when you kill the Tree / Wood, you kill the Sylph, and vice versa (Destroy the Matriorb, and Kanaya dies; Kill Snowman and you kill the Unvierse; Mindfang was murdered, and her Enlightenment about the Doc died with her).

Prince - Principle / Foremost. “To Postulate” Its the Principle of the matter. For Princes, Principle and Code are key, and they will follow these as a fundamental truth (and be damned to anything else). This is likely what it was meant when they were called a Destroyer Class, because they do tend to destroy all avenues when it doesn’t fit their Principle. A Group of Princes could be called an Argument. For Eridan, both the system he resided in, and his own internal narrative (his Hopes), were his fundamental truths. And in the end, it fucked everything up. For Kurloz, his Belief System and his chosen Lord were his Fundamental Truth (And Rage is about Truths; so this guy didn’t just have a fortified castle, he had an entire armored country) For Dirk, the Character someone presented was the Truth of the matter, and the Character he presented. He believed that all versions of him were Him, and that was his biggest flaw, because they weren’t. AR was no more Dirk Strider than Bro was. ... And unfortunately, one version of him took this very literally (HS^2).

Bard - Barred / Bar. “To Prevent” Bards are quite the Wild Card, because how the hell do you manage destroying stuff for other people’s benefit and it actually ensured that it is a benefit? But from our few examples, Bards do act as great barriers. They keep things on the path because if you didn’t have that barrier, you wouldn’t progress, or you’d go too far too quickly, or things could go out of hand. For Gamzee, he tends to invoke the idea of the Barrier Maiden (He does roleplay a fairy / maid). He can’t die cos he’s a Cosmic Keystone to things happening like they’re suppose to. Paradox Space, literally, cannot let him die because it needs him to complete the Alpha Loop [By extension, no Doomed Timeline ever has a Dead Gamzee, he’s just that important, the stupid fuck] / [consider the theory that he also absorbs his alternative selves to keep his keystone status; like how Rose absorbed her alternative dream self] (Though when you take him from his story / destiny / fate, he’s just another mortal shitty clown). Gamzee prevented Rage, for Homestuck to continue as its intended narrative. For Cronus, his little Hope Quest was a direct line to Lord English (being the evil wvizard in his little Harry Potter fantasy). But this blew up royally, because as it turns out, it isn’t up to the Beforus Trolls to do shit. So just as Gamzee’s crisis of Fate put things back on the Path to LE and prevented catastrophe, Cronus’s crisis caused catastrophe. He prevented Hope for the Beforus Trolls, because it wasn’t their Story. And now for my HC’d Bard of Doom, Clubs Deuce. He does exactly what it says, he Prevents Doom. Inspite of what it appears, he’s highly competent because that prevents things from going to hell. For CD, he prevented Doom, for his Crew, and the sessions he’s involved in. And any time CD tends to disappear from the picture, is when things go to hell fast (For the Crew, Cans showed up; for the Beta Session, he was a mere herald for the doom that was already coming and his death cinched it)

#homestuck #classpect

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blooeyedtroll · 3 years

Text

Home on the Range

Rated PG-13ish Lolz. For occasional cussing and maybe innuendos(?). Lolz. This can also be read on Ao3. Feel free to read it there if you prefer.

More art scattered though out this fic, hope you like it!

Hello friend! Welcome!

This is a One shot fic that takes place in mine & @messybitch802 ‘s :

Efflorescence AU.

This is the beginning of our tale, I hope you enjoy.

This is in Hickory’s POV. I thought this would be a fun way to introduce Bloo and Messy. It also seemed fitting since Hickory will play a larger part as our tale unfolds.

However, I’d like to think this could be enjoyed as a fun one-shot Hickory & Dickory fic as well. This fandom needs more Yodel Brothers content!

Big thanks to @jade-green-butterfly and her random ask that kicked my butt in gear, giving me the inspiration to finally start writing:

Anyway, let’s get to it. Enjoy!:

HOME ON THE RANGE

"Rock Trolls... no doubt about that.”

The rugged, orange haired Troll put down his hammer and stepped away from the task at hand. Fence work could wait. This needed his immediate attention. Around this time of day he'd expect to see, at most, a tumbleweed passing by the entrance to the Ranch. Maybe. Nobody ever came out this way. Not since he'd been here anyway. At a good clip, it was about an hour trek away from Lonesome Flats. Which suited his needs perfectly.

The perfect place to lay low and still blend in.

"Bist du sicher?" whispered a muffled voice behind him.

"Of course I am. Now hush, I'm gonna check it out. Stay in character. An’ be ready, just in case."

The orange haired Troll patted the front of his jeans, freeing them of a satisfying amount of dust from the day’s hard work and checked his reflection in a nearby trough. Grinning as he placed a straw of wheat that was kept in the brim of his hat; between his teeth.

Perfection.

Who would guess otherwise, that the reflection in that water, was anything but a genuine Country Troll?

It took a lot of work shopping, trial and error, but he did it.

Well, they did it. The four legged, rugged, handsome, Country Troll was in actuality...two Trolls.

Two brothers to be precise.

Yodel Trolls by the names of Hickory and Dickory.

The last Yodel Trolls by their accounts, and they happened to be the best damn team of Bounty Hunters and Mercenaries in all of Trolldom.

For good reason.

The best tool to their disposal was their ability to blend in. So much so, it was only until it was “too late” for their marks, by the time their true colors were revealed. And this disguise has been their best yet.

Hickory, though the youngest brother, was the much taller of the two. So he was the face to this particular get-up. Making Dickory to be left with the tail end. Literally. Understandably, this was not ideal for him.

And he definitely made it well known on many occasions how he felt about having to play a literal “horse’s ass”.

But by gum, was he the best ass you could ask for.

At this point, Dickory had mastered the art of synchronizing with Hickory's movements, in such a way, it was now practically impossible to spot anything amiss. It was as if they shared one mind while under the guise of this centaur-esk being.

And while Dickory was fairly sour about the whole situation, Hickory found himself more and more, fond of living day to day as a Country Troll. Very much so to his brother’s shagrin. The look, the music, the lifestyle...everything.

It had been two months now since the brothers found themselves here, in Country Music territory. However, last anyone on the outside had heard about them, was that they had "yodelled so hard, an avalanche fell on them"...or something? Which was just what they wanted. For the time being anyway.

The brothers had struck a deal with their last mark.

For his freedom, he was to spread said rumor, so the Yodelers could lay low for a while.

Queen Barb, of the Hard Rock Trolls, was no stranger to the two brothers. As a matter of fact, she was one of their most frequent clients for the past few years. Which suited them just fine. Well, almost. The last few jobs they did for the young Queen, left a bitter taste in Hickory's mouth. Not so much for the tasks she asked of them, but because of something she said and what he saw on their last few visits to Volcano Rock City. Maps. Marked up. Plans of some sort. Hanging everywhere. The young ruler, looking the most tired he'd ever seen her, yet looking as if ready to burst from being too tightly wound, at any moment.

"Hopefully next time I see you dudes, one way or another, we'll all be singing to a different tune. It's gonna be so Rad."

Whatever was going on, both Yodelers agreed that it was definitely not worth getting caught up in. They could just feel it. Deep down. They were hired to track Trolls down and do what needed to do, to get by.

Both of them could be shady characters at times, but they had decent moral compasses to live by. So they told themselves.

That's why the presence of Rock Trolls at this moment made Hickory's blood run cold. Could it be possible somehow, some way, they had been found out? That whatever Queen Barb was up to, she was looking for them? What is it that she’d need them for anyway?

No. Their plan worked perfectly. Blend in as a Country Troll, lay low for a while, only do the occasional "job" when the opportunity presented itself, just until the Queen of Rock cooled her head or went through with... whatever she is planning.

Not a soul knew about Hickory and Dickory being here.

Well.

Unless you counted, July.

Miss July, the owner of the Ranch. A rather interesting Troll.

A Pop-Country Troll. The only mixed genre Troll around these parts. Unlike her four legged, centaur, Country loving neighbors; she walked on two legs... well, hooves. Her appearance could be compared to a more "Satyr" like build, with a perfect blend of both genres in her appearance. The bright colors of a Pop Troll, but the sturdy build of that of a Country Troll.

A Tough, stern older lady-Troll, with a heart of gold.

Running this place all on her own, while tending to her extremely elderly parents.

That's one of the reasons he never expected any visitors here. Nobody in town wanted anything to do with Miss July or her family. Didn't much like associating with “their kind” if they could help it. Though you'd never hear them say it in polite conversation. But that suited Miss July just fine. That's how she liked it. Ever since Miss July and her folks suffered a terrible loss to their family, decades ago, she rarely went into town if she could help it.

Which on one such occasion, is when she stumbled upon the Yodelers, in their first attempts at putting together their “Country Persona”.

They had been camping not too far from her Ranch and the Town, when she found them both, struggling to even walk in time together, in a pair of poorly made four legged pants.

July took their word as Gospel. That they were just fulfilling a lifelong dream of wanting to, in some way, be a Country Troll. So she offered them a place to stay and to show them the ropes on what it meant to be a Country Troll. If they agreed to work for her at her family’s Ranch.

"Until you feel you can stand on yer own four hooves!' She teased.

It could be easily wagered that July being an outcast in her own community, could be a factor of sympathy she felt towards them, making her wanting to help any way she could, and possibly what made her not judgmental in the least. That, and as tough as she put herself on as, she was sweet as apple pie, through and through.

Which did make Hickory especially, feel guilty about not being more upfront with her. As much as he could be anyhow.

Especially so, when the occasional “job opportunity" presented itself around Lonesome Flats during the Yodelers free time. Turns out, there were plenty of Trolls who had a bone to pick with others, or needed matters settled around these parts. Not to mention, crooks-a-plenty to turn in.

But both brothers always repented. By being very diligent working for Miss July on the Ranch. Anything she needed done, got done. It was the least they could do for what she had done for them for these last two months. So the last thing needed was for anything to get ugly around here.

As Hickory approached closer and closer, he could feel his brother tensing up.

"Easy.” He whispered under his breath, smirking, patting behind him in attempts to calm his hotheaded companion. While still maintaining a nonchalant and calm demeanor.

Having spent a fair amount of time in Volcano Rock City for past jobs, and even on several occasions for other clients; needing to spend time incognito as Rock Trolls, it was fairly easy to recognize them from afar.

Upon closer inspection, it did come across as rather curious to see them wearing Country attire. They couldn't be trying to blend in, could they?

No. Not by the way these two held themselves.

One Troll in various shades of blue in appearance, the other in peculiar shades of green from toe to tip. Both faces, still covered by wide brimmed hats. The blue Troll's demeanor was nervous right from the jump. Their green companion, holding them by the hand, grounding them. As if to keep them from sprinting away at a moment's notice. Both looking tired from the trek they must have taken from town to get to the Ranch property and from the sun's unforgiving afternoon rays.

Nothing but what seemed to be electric guitars and simple backpacks on their backs. However, these were definitely the most impressive guitars Hickory had seen in all his life.

The blue Troll’s, from what he could make out, was sage in color and looked as if it was made of some large critter's battered wing. Almost bat or reptilian in nature. The green Troll’s guitar, an imposing, venomous violet, crafted by what could only could be guessed as being once the claw and stinger of some scorpion-type critter. One he certainly wouldn't want to tango with.

Lackeys of Queen Barb’s? No... couldn't be.

"Nobody knows we're here"

"We've been so careful."

He repeated over and over to himself. Almost mantra-like. He really had no reason to be this paranoid he kept reminding himself.

“Who are the most feared Bounty Hunters and Mercenaries in all Trolldom?”

“The Yodel brothers. That's who.” He smirked at that last thought. Puffing his broad chest a bit more, in response to his inner pep-talk.

And no Troll, no matter now--

"H--Howdy!" The blue Troll, clearing their voice, shakily called out.

"Right fine day, isn't it?"

The traveler seemed to ease into the drawl like putting on an old pair of comfy shoes, and with each word, their confidence seemed to boost. Stepping forward from their green companion, they removed their wide brim hat and gandered up at Hickory, with a small smile that damn near made his heart leap through his throat. In a good way?

That was...unexpected.

His usual quick witted mind and tongue, on the spot turned into a train that just left the station.

Those eyes. Absolutely pierced him right through. Large, inquisitive, pale, cerulean eyes. Staring right at him under dark lashes, and surrounded by a cascade of cobalt freckles.

The closest shade of color he could compare those eyes to were a color he hadn't thought of in ages. Snow. Snow that as a Trolling he played in. Usually when you found yourself making forts or laying in heeps that came up so high, you would look, and you'd catch the glimmering sunlight, shining through it. A shade of blue that just melted you to the core and drew out a smile, without you being the wiser.

"Right fine.” he responded. Recovering from his wandering mind.

No time to be side tracked by an adorable, freckled, blue-eyed Troll. With sweet, curvy features, who has solid looking muscles that look they could easily crush--

"How can I help you? You folks seem a bit far away from home. Don't get a lot of Rock Trolls around these parts.”

Thank goodness his voice seemed to be the one on track; at the task at hand.

“Oi! What’s that supposed to mean?”

The green Troll stepped forward, hotly, removing their own hat, as to glare directly at him. Sizing him up. Only a tad taller, but much more lithe in figure to their companion. Definitely much more fierce. Not just in attitude, but in appearance. Their eyes, deep as sapphires. Teeth, the bottom row protruding two large tusk-like lower canines. Ears, pointed back and just as sharp as their claws, which he found himself one the other end of, being pointed at. Just as he felt his hair prickle, preparing himself for what was bound to happen next, the tension was immediately neutralized.

"It's okay Mess” The blue Troll cooed, calming the green one.

"Sorry to just come on over uninvited, but uh, does a Troll named July still live here?"

"You mean Miss July? Sure does. Why, if You don't mind my askin’?"

"Well you see, she's my... can--can I please talk to her? If she's around here today?”

A good long pause washed over the three.

Hickory could feel the trepidation radiating from Dickory behind him as he swished "their tail' in annoyance. Normally, if this was any other situation, it'd be too bad for these two. He'd send them right on their way, or worse if it came to it. They seemed capable. They had guitars, they were Rock Trolls. Random Rock Trolls, showing up, asking for not himself or his brother, but Miss July. Out of all the Country Trolls in Lonesome Flats.

But the waves of anxiety radiating from this freckled Troll were massive; and when their friend wasn't staring daggers at his direction, they were gazing so tenderly and sympathetically at them. These weren't agents of Queen Barbs. These seemed like folks on a sad mission of delivering news, or something of the like. They looked as though this was the last place they would ever want to be.

Dickory always insisted that Hickory was too quick to let his heart think first before his head when it came to their line of work. He didn't see it that way though. Hickory thought himself a good judge of character. Hell, that's why they found themselves in this situation now. Tipping his hat in a friendly manner, he smiled at the two.

"Well, why dontcha follow me then. I'm sure Miss July is making lunch right about now. You folks are just in time. Name's Hickory"

"Messy." replied the green.

The blue Troll remained silent.

"Adorabull got yer tongue cutie?" he teased

Those freckled cheeks lit up in seconds, a flushed lavender. Too cute.

"Somethin' like that' They smiled sheepishly.

All the while, as Hickory walked with the two up to the main building on the property, they stuck to idle chit-chat. About the weather or the nearby town. They passed by many of the fences that housed just some of Miss July's critters. As well as a few stables, paddocks, a decent sized workshed, and the small house the Yodelers had been staying in since they arrived here. It was once they passed that particular building, the blue Rocker stopped in their tracks momentarily. Just staring. Almost trance-like. They only moved again once Messy had firmly grabbed their hand and they followed.

Finally, they reached the main building's porch. The family home. Without any prompting, the two travelers waited at the bottom steps of the porch. Hickory nodded, thinking that might be best. He walked up to the open door. The wafting aroma of today's lunch filling his nostrils. Chili with sweet rolls? If he wasn't mistaken, he could smell fresh squeezed lemonade too. Knowing better to barge in while she was in the Kitchen...

"Pardon me, Miss July?" he called out.

"Dammit Hic, I told ya once, I'll tell ya again. Lunch is on when I ring the damn bell, that's when it’s good and ready!"

Hickory couldn't help but chuckle. That July was a firecracker.

"It's got nothin' to do with that Miss. You see, You've got yourself some visitors."

"For the last time Hic, just call me Jul--"

July emerged from the doorway, holding in each hand a glass of lemonade with mint garnish. No doubt as something to appease the Yodelers until lunch was done. As soon as her eyes met the two travelers, she stopped dead in her tracks. Glaring at them something fierce.

"These two are the visitors I was talkin' about."

"Rock Trolls, huh? Here? Whaddya want?"

The blue traveler, clearing their throat, voice cracking; they smiled, eyes glazed and sparkling with unshed tears. Staring at July as if a secret wish had been granted.

"Aunty Ju-Ju? It's m-me. It's Bloo. I'm home."

Bloo? That Bloo? Could it really be? Hickory didn't need to dwell on that too long though. July suddenly yelped out loud, in such a way that it startled absolutely everyone. Including herself apparently because those glasses in her hands dropped and shattered to bits.

"You couldn't be-- w-what kind of game are ya playin’ at?!"

July at a loss for words. This was serious. There she stood, knees buckling, lip quivering, tail thrashing. Unable to look away from the Troll in front of them at the end of her porch. A look of torment across their face.

Slowly, the freckled Troll smiled sadly, and reached behind their back for their instrument. Hickory acted quickly, putting himself between the two. Staring intently at the Rocker. They stared back, as they slowly brought the instrument forward.

"Please. Let me play?"

Hickory's nostrils flared, biting down hard on the straw in his mouth. How was he so stupid? Well, he wouldn't be fooled this time.

*~strum~*

Though the guitar was imposing and electric, with a stroke of their hand, it played a long, twangy, unmistakable, Country cord.

Silence.

Laying a hand on Hickory's shower, July gently moved him aside, her attention almost trance-like on the player. Waiting.

As if they understood, they shifted and picked up their guitar in earnest. Strumming again, but to a much more upbeat melody. Much more upbeat than most Country music Hickory had heard around town that he grew to enjoy. This sounded more... Pop? Much more like something he'd hear July singing on a day she was in a particularly good mood. Or something July’s elderly mother, the Pop Troll of the family might hum.

That's when they began to sing along, starting off slowly and gaining strength with each note. A large smile on their face as tears cascaded down their round cheeks. As if putting on the show of their lives. It was raw, and beautiful.

"She loves rock ‘n’ roll,

they said it's demons’ tongue,

She thinks they're too old.

They think she's too young,

And the battle lines are clearly drawn.”

“She's a wild one,

with an angel's face,

She's a lovely Troll in a state of grace,

When she was three years old on her daddy's knee,

He said you can be anythin’ you wanna be.

She's a wild one.

Runnin' free."

“She has future plans,

and dreams at night,

they tell her life is hard,

she smiles, sayin’ “that’s alright”, yeah!”

“She’s a wild one,

With an angel’s face,

She’s a lovely Troll in a state of grace,

When she was three years old on her daddy’s knee,

He said you can be anythin’ you wanna be.

She’s a wild one.

Runnin’ free.”

"She's a wild one”~~

"~~Runnin' free.” July finished and sobbed the last line.

"That was the song I wrote for your Mama... all them years ago..My Bloo. My little ‘Bloo-Jay’ came home!"

Hickory stood fully aside now, allowing the two to embrace, for what he now had realized had been the first time in more than two decades. An embrace that both warmed and broke your heart, all at the same time. This was July's pride and joy. Her niece. Bloo, the only child of July's older sister June.

June and July were extremely close sisters. Best friends even.

June was a very free spirited Troll who fancied herself a part-time singer at one of the local bars in town. On one of these trips to town, she met a traveling Rock Troll by the name of Ziggy. Busking for food and drink. Let's just say, it didn't take long at all until wedding bells were ringing and Ziggy was part of the happy family here on the Ranch. The couple waited a while before having a Trolling. The two were busy enjoying married life, Ziggy took June traveling, fulfilling her dreams of seeing life outside Lonesome Flats. And wherever they went, they were singing up a storm. When they returned home to settle down, at any bar or club, or bingo hall that would have them, they continued singing their hearts out. Occasionally even dragging July along. The three of them became inseparable. Especially after Bloo was born. The townsfolk even seemed to warm up to the entire, oddball family. It was all turning up roses for the family finally, after what felt like ages of trying to live in harmony. But it all came to a crushing end.

Shortly after Bloo turned five years old, a serious, contagious illness spread throughout Lonesome Flats. Most folks who caught it, eventually recovered, but there were eight fatalities in the end. June was one of them. The family was torn to pieces by June’s passing. Ziggy just wasn't the same Troll after. A year passed and just as they thought things might slowly start looking up, Ziggy and Bloo were gone.

Apparently he had packed himself and Bloo up one night, and just left without a word. July knew he had family back home in Volcano Rock City, and figured that is where he would take Bloo to raise them. But July dared not go there. For good reason. A Pop-Country Troll, travel to Volcano Rock City? Demand her niece back from a heartbroken father? While leaving her extremely elderly parents to fend for themselves? No. July would be turned away or torn to pieces. King Thrash at the time was feared for good reason in those days and most Trolls feared Rock Trolls the most out of all the other Tribes.

July and her folks basically moved on by learning to mourn the loss of June, Bloo, and Ziggy. They never expected to ever see Bloo or Ziggy again. Yet here Bloo was. Embracing their aunt, while Hickory and Messy looked on fondly. His smile grew wider as he realized how overjoyed July's folks: Clay and May, would be to see their grand-baby again. Something they thought they'd never live to see.

He could see it now that he got a better look at Bloo, as they were bombarded with kisses and hugs, that they did share a little resemblance to their Pop-Country Aunt. Though without a doubt, they took after their father Ziggy the most. No wonder Bloo wasn't easily recognizable at first glance, they looked so different in comparison to how they looked back then as a Trolling.

Who would have thought that he'd meet the Troll who's childhood pictures adorned the home he and his brother were staying in? Which happened to be Bloo's Old family home on the Ranch. The same house they had stopped to stare at on their way to the main house.

"Small world we live in!” He barked with laughter.

"Welcome home Miss Bloo, glad to meetcha." And he meant it, whole heartedly.

"Glad to be home again.”

END.

(Song used was Faith Hill’s ‘Wild One’. Tweaked for this story)

82 notes · View notes

spade-riddles · 3 years

Note

Sorry mate TTA but I'm gonna need more cuz it's easy & convenient for you to say all that AFTER the fact. Hell any one of us couldve sent in that ask. Perhaps ur legit but I still feel like ur just another hater making up stuff to make us look stupid.

Anonymous asked:

And we should care, why, Tea Time Anon? I'm not seeing any reason to continue supporting those two women or to put any faith into what you say.

Anonymous asked:

I really really really hope that that teatime anon isnt giving us false hopes. Like im already at the edge, one more step and im out. But right now im taking 2 steps back and hang around… again.

Anonymous asked:

Well! It's a REALLY good thing for the girls that buying out of contracts is a thing, then, isn't it!

Because them doing it ASAP is the ONLY thing that will make it so that the number of people that will support them as a out couple ISN'T so low that you can count them on one hand! 😒🚬

Anonymous asked:

Yeah sure like she moved the re-release of her most successful and most anticipated album ever *at the last minute* because of Karlie. As if she was ever gonna incorporate Karlie while married to a Kushner (the divorce wouldn't have come right away). I used to believe so much in tta. But the timeline of events they describe doesn't make sense. Am not falling for the "pivot" excuse anymore.

Anonymous asked:

“I think you all may have guessed that a PR divorce was planned and cancelled because of his Instagram deletion and subsequent reactivation.” No offense to you SR, but this sounds really manipulative. Make us feel good for something we indeed were assuming to gain our trust in order to then excuse their inconsistencies. Also even if 1989 were to be released on May, Speak Now was never gonna be released in July as they had said. Too short of a rollout for 1989. Explain that TeaTimeAnon. 🤷‍♀️

Anonymous asked:

Renegotiate!? Come on. Nope. Taylor better carry on, cause that is bullshit if true. Hell nah. Karlie is ridiculous to keep agreeing to shit—and Taylor is ridiculous to keep going along with it. Nope. Sorry. 😏

I do feel like something was coming in May for sure. I'm not sure what's going on, but things are for sure off. And it is weird that she all of a sudden announces RED 5 months early after dropping 1989 merch. Cool, no problem, but a weird rollout.

Anonymous asked:

Uh why does KK need money from jerk if she has Taylor? The whole she needs his money thing which is why she’s staying is getting to be an old excuse.

Anonymous asked:

There's no way the jerklie divorce was scheduled for the end of May. The end of the contract maybe. But there's absolutely no way they'd be getting divorced 3 months after the birth of the baby. It would have drawn too much unnecessary attention.

Anonymous asked:

Lmao tea time is just saying what we’ve all been saying. They are NOT legit. Stop trying to convince us that they are. They sound like regular fans taking a guess. Enough

Anonymous asked:

Sigh. I am a long time Kaylor and I really don’t find 🍵 credible. There was nothing in that explanation that we haven’t already speculated about at length on here. Unless there’s some strong corroboration of why they’re a trustworthy source, I really don’t need anymore “tea”.

Anonymous asked:

I mean come on. Would a real insider reveal so many details about Karlie's contract which is STILL ongoing in a place that is HEAVILY monitored by Jerk's team? Are we really that naive to believe that someone is offering such precious info without any care? TTA is either a troll or worse... they're dangling fake hope again right when everyone has started saying how sick and tired they are and how pointless it is to still support them. TTA must prove themselves, or not bother us ever again.

Anonymous asked:

Some of what TTA is saying makes sense... But here's my big question: Is Karlie sad and blue every day for months like Taylor talked about in Hoax? Or is she willingly prolonging her contract, pushing Taylor's re-recording schedule, and making it harder to untangle her and her kid from the K*shners? Both cannot be true. I'm not a big Karlie fan rn, but I think it's the first option. Also, TTA said 1989 TV would drop 5/14. So K renegotiated and T pushed 1989 in under 2 weeks? I'm skeptical.

Anonymous asked:

… so a “PR divorce” was scheduled for May, but instead we get Karlie w Joshua’s mom walking the baby and Karlie posing for pics in their stunt apt and a Father’s Day post? Among other pap walks? Literally makes NO sense.

Anonymous asked:

If anything is worth staying tied to the K*shners when you had a chance to be free, I have no respect left.

Anonymous asked:

can someone clarify what the 3rd part of tta's message?? taylors sm, interviews have been messy? like no?? that was(is) karlie?? the only "mess" on her part are that she sent out clues for multiple albums, and even that I refuse to believe that such a meticuluous planner as taylor did not take absolutely every factor in consideration, especially one as big as jerk renemwing their contract or whatever exactly went down. here im assuming that jerk had the power to single handedly renew [PART 1]

the contract, and that the term 're NEGOTIATE' is used loosely, because what could the kushners possibly have to offer to karlie other than money- black, dishonest, taxpayers' money- even her rep isnt being helped by the kushners, so why would she agree to extending their stupid skit that no one signed up for? and taylor has more than enough money to last 7 lifetimes. and if jerk had the power to renew the contract without karlies involvement, there is just no way that taylor didnt [PART 2/4]

take that into consideration. Also, the 22 weeks and men's day thing is too perfect to be planned on a whim, but it is possible that like some anon had previously said, it was planned for 2022, so we can overlook that. but otherwise, there are only so many possibilities: 1. 1989 was postponed because karlie DECIDED to continue playing house with the kushners for money. in which case, either a) taylor supported her (seems unlikely but still possible) or b) they broke up because of this [PART3/4]

2. karlie and jerk are together for real and have a kid together and karlie refused to being a part of 1989 tv era because she doesnt want kaylor rumours again, which i agree would be unpleasant if she really is with jerk, taylor is or is not with joe, and karlies refusal caused 1989 to pivot, and all of us kaylors are delusional to think there is anything more between them. <PART 4/5>,

3. karlie is, infact, bearding with jerk but kaylor broke up a while ago and taylor doesnt want to relive 1989 tv so soon after her breakup because it would remind her of karlie. 4. they broke up sometime in the past and taylor asked her now ex to be part of the 1989 tv era and she refused. 5. tta is a fraud. these are really the only situations i think are plausible, others are free to add more and share your thoughts on these. <PART 4/5>

also, another thing that has me doubting the credibility of tta is how direct their messages are. there is a chance that spade is/was legit because they spoke the same language as taylor- one of codes and puzzles. but tta's messages are wayy too straightforward to be approved by taylor i think. so either, as another anon requested, show some proof, like maybe a single release date for red tv or something, or stop sending supposed "tips" <PART 5/5>

Anonymous asked:

Convenient that TTA shows up after Red TV has been announced. Taylor has been dropping hints about all her albums since before May. Red tv being next makes sense and there is Easter eggs and evidence that was the case. Also: if negotiations happened at start of May, why was KK dropping 1989 hints as recent as last week. It’s doesn’t make sense.

Anonymous asked:

TTA: What about Speak Now TV coming out on July 9th, like you said last time? That album has nothing to do with Karlie. Taylor said pretty clearly that the next album she's releasing is Red TV. So what's your explanation for Speak Now's release being pushed to some unspecified date?

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allykakamatsu · 3 years

Text

Danganronpa V3 Smash Bros Tournament!

•Monokuma decides a good way to get everyone to kill each other is a Smash Bros Tournament, I mean, with all the salt someone’s bound to snap.

•No one kills each other, aside from Maki attempting to kill Kokichi, but it does become a weekly tradition despite the rage.

Kaede Akamatsu

• Get’s into a heated debate over who gets to main Rosalina with Kaito, but after a bit she caved and agreed to pick someone else.

•She end’s up picking Peach after Tsumugi makes a comment that they kinda look alike.

•Little did anyone know that Kaede is actually kinda a monster with Peach and frequently does really well in the tournaments.

•Favourite stage is New Donk city, and every time she gets to play on it she sings Jump up Superstar the entire match.

•Nobody is sure if they love or hate it.

•When not singing, she’ll make the stage music anything that has a dominant Piano.

•Favourite item is the Star Rod

Shuichi Saihara

• Acts like he’s never played before and decides to main Chrom due to him seeing easy enough to play and liking his personality.

•In actuality has played on and off for years and is a proud Dedede main but is too embarrassed to admit it.

•Also plays Pikachu but cause it’s Miu’s main he doesn’t usually use the electric mouse.

•Usually middle of the road in the tournaments.

•Prefers to fight on Battlefield but so long as the stage doesn’t move he can live with anything.

•Likes to keep items off.

Rantaro Amami:

•Good with all three Link forms, but has a bias for Toon Link.

•Can’t remember when he started playing, but given how he’s the only one who doesn’t panic by tripping they assume it’s Brawl.

•They also assume this because whenever someone picks Meta Knight he gets visibly distressed.

•Tournament wise he Can either do really well or really s**t depending on the day.

•Doesn’t have a favourite stage but tends to pick the Zelda stages cause he likes them the best.

•The only one who’s happy when a warp star shows up.

Ryoma Hoshi:

•At first played Incineroar cause its the only cat.

•After realising how bad his recovery was though, he kinda just tried anything to see what would work.

•Found a few semi-mains, namely Snake, Link and Villager

•Usually doesn‘t try to hard in tournaments so comes in last, or will even sit out, but when he wants to win, he will.

•Moral of the story, if he picks Villager, panic.

•No stage or item preference, but when it’s his turn to pick he tends to go with Shadow Moses island cause he likes the look.

Kirumi Tojo

•Mains everyone and is good with all of them.

•Like, can beat Mario with Little Mac good.

•Does have a slight preference towards Shiek though due to her admiring the ninja’s loyalty.

•Due to her skills, she tends to sit out with Ryoma to give everyone a chance.

•When she does play though, well, try not to loose too fast.

•Also usually the one who has to stop Maki killing Kokichi if he beats her.

•Always goes random when stage picking time comes, but also puts all the stages in battlefield mode in case it lands on something BS.

•For similar reasons tries to ignore items

Angie Yonaga

•Everyone expected her to pick Palutena, and while she does have her as a sub main, Angie usually plays Sephiroth. •Why? Angel (kinda), kick ass theme, and loves watching the others panic when they see him. Plus, Atua told her to pick someone unexpected.

•Also tried Pit and Dark Pit, and while she likes their personalities she isn’t big on their gameplay.

•To this day the only one who’s beat Kirumi in a match, and outside of that time she’s still good in tournaments.

•Atua told Angie to pick Big Blue one day, and ever since everyone dreads her turn on stage select.

Tenko Chabishira

• Always plays as a girl no matter what.

•Plays Min Min more often than not, but occasionally surprises everyone by whipping out villager.

•Why? “She’s Himiko cute!!”

•Pretty good at the game, but super competitive. Unless you’re Himiko, be prepared to get yelled at at least once if she looses.

•One day while everyone was playing random, she got Ken and kinda hated that she likes it so she occasionally plays him in private. •Shuichi caught her doing this while he was playing Dedede, and they both promised to never tell a soul.

•Punch Out stage or bust!

•Doesn’t have an opinion on items, but when she plays villager she hopes for the bunny hood cause she thinks it’s adorable.

Korekiyo Shinguji

•Lucario or bust (he likes the aura theme) though he’s also kinda a monster with Lucina

•Strangely though, whenever he uses Lucina he acts... different? (the class is convinced he’s possessed when this happens.)

•Outside of that though, tends to be one of the worse players.

•Second to none at recovery though.

•Hyrule castle has been his favourite stage since day one And that’s never gonna change.

•Always has items on, he likes the surprise factor (he and Shuichi are never allowed have a one on one fight)

Miu Iruma

•Has probably been playing the longest aside from Kirumi.

•Has played all the games, and cause Of this is decent with all of the OG 8, but will always pick Pikachu.

•Will only ever pick someone else if it’s a random match or someone makes her give Shuichi a turn, and in that case she picks Pichu as a backup.

•Despite her boasting, is usually in the lower end of the group.

•Doesn’t stop her from rubbing it in when she wins though.

•Tends to go for Wily’s castle for her stage, if for no other reason than she’s the only one who can handle the yellow devil.

•Super Hammer or bust!

Gonta Gokuhara

•Likes Donkey Kong the best, but also tries to learn how to play Joker from Kokichi cause he looks like a gentleman.

•Also likes all the Pokémon even if he isn’t the best with them.

•Honestly, aside from Olimar he likes everyone, and he only really dislikes Olimar cause he’s bullying the bugs!

•Everyone agrees to never touch the pikmin rep when he’s in the room.

•Tends to come in last with the only one he can beat kinda consistently is Ryoma without villager, but he still has a lot of fun.

•Tends to pick whatever stage everyone likes best, and has no clue how to use items.

Kokichi Ouma

•Always plays Joker because who else is a phantom thief going to pick.

•Actually he plays Villager in his spare time but Kaito is the only that knows and that was a mistake so shh.....

•Begrudgingly teaches Gonta how to play, if only from the horror on someone’s face when they get cocky only to loose to the guy who didn’t even know what a Smash Bros was a few weeks ago.

•Peak troll. Camps with gun, let’s people *cough* Kaito and Miu *cough* Hit fake smash balls, always picks the auto scrolling stages, he just loves making everyone groan.

•Only thing that makes him visibly salty is Miu on stage select cause f**k yellow devil.

Kaito Momota

•A proud Rosalina main. A badass space princess that protects the stars, what’s not to love?

•First time they all play, they all expect him to suck..... so you can imagine their surprise he‘a one of the best players in the class, especially at edge guard

•Despite that, is the most susceptible to stage hazards and bad items, especially fake smash balls. He has gotten better at recovering from them though.

•Never asks anyone to turn them off though, cause it’s worth it for the black hole and the assist trophies.

•Whenever Kiyo plays Lucina, he makes sure to sit at the other end of the couch.

•Always tries to give people pointers, though since he really only plays one character he’s not the best at it.

•Will ALWAYS pick either the Mario Galaxy stage or the Star Fox stages

Tsumugi Shirogane

•Tends to pick Kirby for A, the cute hats, and B, it gives her an excuse to rant about the lore. You know those Kirby fans who obnoxiously push how the series is super deep? That’s Tsumugi.

•Rants the whole match, leading to people preferring Kokichi obnoxiously joining in on Kaede’s singing to it. •Knowing they’re not safe when she’s not playing either, they all agree that unless it’s random’s to never pick a Kirby stage or character (another reason for Shuichi to hide being a Dedede main)

•She’ll occasionally rant about other series too, but Kirby is the biggest example.

•Despite this, she’s actually a pretty good player, even if she can be a bit to sadistic with down special sometimes.

Kiibo

•Refuses to touch ROB or MegaMan to avoid falling into the stereotype of the robot playing the robots.

•Instead picks Pyra and Mythra cause they’re great characters with a bit of computer theme that only Tsumugi knows about mercifully hasn’t ranted on yet.

•Plays very predictably, but just because you know a Lightning Buster- Prominence Revolt is coming doesn't mean blocking it is easier.

•As such is usually in the middle of the pack tournament wise. •Refuses to use side B as Pyra because one time he did and Kokichi did a stupid combo which took him from 30% to death so he’s not taking any chances again.

•Tends to put The stage on random, which he occasionally regrets if he rolls a side scroller.

Himiko Yumeno:

•Mains ALL the magic users. •Robin, Zelda, Hero, Sephiroth, so long as they have a big focus on magic she’s all in.

•Tends to use Hero the most, specifically Eight, because she likes the MP gauge.

•Despite seemingly never practicing and only doing okay with most moves, is the fastest thing in the freaking world at picking the right spell. If she gets magic burst or Kamikaze, prepare to die.

•Everyone assumes she’s probably played Dragon Quest cause of this, but she hasn’t confirmed and just chalks her skill up to magic.

•The only one who can make Tenko stop raging.

•Keeping with the theme, will usually pick the World Tree stage.

Maki Harukawa

•Messed around with everyone a bit but was only super good as Zero Suit Samus.

•Even then she’s mostly middle of the pack, but she doesn’t mind too much.

•Unless she looses to Kokichi, then it’s a struggle for Kaito and Kirumi to stop her from killing him.

•Tends to handle snacks cause Kirumi has to be in the room to keep order and she usually gets knocked out early. •The most frequent subject of Kaito’s tips, which range from helpful to ”Kaito I don’t have a f**king Luma”

•Tends to pick Shadow Moses island cause she likes the look, and though she won’t tell anyone she loves the music

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