#unfollowing people because of stupid ass takes is self care | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

salvatoreren · 2 years

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ah the fated day has arrived, so anyways hey, I know this is so out of the blue since just hours or yesterday i was saying some stuf, not mad or anything, still it doesn't change a thing so yeah, I decided to leave tumblr, at this point i'm already over it, obsessing over it has already been done since i've deleted the app on my phone out of sheer anger as i saw a pin in pinterest, and yeah completely unrelated and I've distanced myself from bunch of people who I've grown to hate over the months but still that isn't enough

What would be enough is to just leave the way it is, to pretend as it never exists, pretend that I no longer have a place where I can be as vocal as I want, because that is what got me in the first place, honestly it was fun being here, a little bit though, I've said things I've been meaning to say, had people who agrees with my opinions and just freak out over the things I love but with that came annoying takes from stupid people who never once stepped back and looked at the big picture, bunch of misandrists and people who are just downright horrid

Yeah I admit it's stupid that I'm too sensitive for my own good but god I've been fighting people over the months, and as much as I'd like to actually hurt people, I found myself getting tired, found myself getting angry at the world, because of this place I got my depression back, came tumbling down from a high, high hill aka as my redemption from last year and landed face first six feet deep,

I've had problems that I never had, they are so much worse and I fucking hate it, I fucking hate this place but I hate myself more for putting myself in this situation, I had all the time, had the self-control when i was fucking sane to leave this place and stay as I am and remain happy, I fucking hated that I didn't learn from my experience in twitter, I just thought it would be different, I just didn't want to be lonely but yeah I ruined me and all the fandoms that I once held in a positive light, they were ruined and I felt burned out, fuck you stranger things and aot fandom, you can suck satan's ass for all i care

So am I deactivating? Nope, I love my account too much and I just installed a new theme which I spent at least five hours on instead of taking a shower-gross, Am I coming back? HMMM I'll try not to, a bit hard when a new mha season is coming this october and I just have to gush over it and despite my hate for twitter, I come back because I think it won't hurt me as much as it did, to my dismay it did but like who actually knows

Seriously people just make things worse, I really did love this website, it's i just want to be happy and unbothered again, I hope that I'll feel relieved when I do leave this place as with twitter

also it's fine if you unfollow me and stuff lol

#bye yall #leaving tumblr #shane thoughts

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randombubblegum · 2 years

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2/2

[Sorry to bother you again @/Sebastiandanzig but this song totally didn’t take me a full year to build and make, literally right after I saw you I was like “damn, I need to whip up a 300 track orchestration, also, it has no correlation between the first reimagined music video I swear, I’m just so obsessed with looking and sounding like you. Thanks]

Ronnie then went nuclear on him, made a bunch of stories of different artists w the same caption + a pic of a mic stand captioned “why you throwing me Ronnie” reference to that time he threw one at a girl (who needed three stitches to close the wound) which is,,, pretty awful but I digress

He finished it off by mocking Palaye’s pretentious self-proclaimed genre “Fashion Art Rock” (their asses acting as if Visual Kei isn’t a thing) and I guess Ronnie realized he was making a fool of himself because he ended it sarcastically wishing him well and stuff

To this day, Ronnie still makes fun of him every now and then but he deletes it soon after

TLDR:

Some say it was staged bc they used to be mutuals and stuff but they have unfollowed each other since and Ronnie sounds way too invested for it to be a joke, I choose to believe it’s real because it’s funnier lol

-Plague [|87

(First time sending a submission off anon so let me know if the images weren’t sent correctly, some stuff looks glitched on my phone :s)

————————

THIS SHIT IS SO FUNNY HELPPPPKFKSKD…… WHY DID RONNIE GO SO FUCKING NUCLEARRRR thats honestly hilarious. he is such a douchebag. like honestly the palaye guys are also acting like douches here but theyre at least making it a funny little thing ronnies like actually out for blood…….. ugh i love stupid band drama between people i dont care about this is amazing

#submission #thank u for sharing these people are all clinically insane #palaye

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karliesbuzzcut · 3 years

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I think I first heard about Kaylor as a romantic ship in 2018. I’d been a Taylor fan for ages, but I wasn’t really online on swiftie platforms consistently till then. It was presented to me as something really crazy/stupid, though, so I didn’t believe it. Fast forward to summer 2019, right in the middle of the lover era, and I found myself super bored and super online - this time on twitter. I was also questioning my sexuality more seriously than ever before, but I was pretty repressed. Looking up Kaylor on tumblr felt like some sort of forbidden act lol, partly because of my generalized internalized homophobia, but also because of the sheer disdain my mutuals always expressed about it. Thus, I discovered ttb. I didn’t realize how harmful she was. I would go back and forth between following and unfollowing her, and I was always very ashamed of it. I honestly didn’t believe any of the shit she said, but tbh I just found the idea of Kaylor hot. I really enjoyed reading her content for whatever reason. I don’t remember what I liked about it, though. I never questioned Taylor and Joe, but I figured that Taylor might have hooked up with Karlie in the 1989 era. Keep in mind that this was the Lover era, so Taylor’s gay rumors were exploding. I stopped spending time on tumblr when the summer ended, but I still had a soft spot for kaylor. I remember finding the girl who made the ‘rep is about karlie’ masterpost and being sooo scared my mutuals would discover my interactions with her, where I admitted that I was lowkey a kaylor. Ik no one cared that much in reality, but that’s just how my mind worked ig.

I got into the anti blogs the following summer (again, I was very bored). The shit ttb said became proper outrageous lol. I looooved snarking at that shit tbh. I remember umbrellagate lol. It was sooo stupid. Literally none of the Kaylor theories made any sense anymore at that point. I think they really spiraled in autumn 2020 tbh. If you’d told me kaylors would end up doxxing each other when I first discovered that part of the fandom, I wouldn’t have believed you. If anything, the incredibly insistent hetlors were the ones who actually scared me, especially post-betty doxxing. The way a ship turned into a legitimate cult has always been hilarious to me, but looking back, it’s kind of sad? I’m sure there were many teens like me who discovered ttb’s blog while questioning their sexualities. The fact that some of them ended up believing that two women have a basement baby together, as well as shit like the eye theory (ik people don’t really mention it as much as the 2020 stuff when discussing the craziness of kaylors, but imo that’s fucking stupid already I’m sorry), is incredibly sad. I personally never fell for that shit (and don’t even believe Kaylor happened anymore tbh, though I do think Taylor’s bi), but someone else in my place absolutely could have, especially if they were introduced to Taylor’s music and online fandom through a Kaylor lens rather than discovering those theories later.

I loooved everything about this ❤️ it had comedy, drama, self-reflection, character growth.

I almost don’t want to add anything else because I’ll ruin it but yeah, I agree with your take. I do try to keep in mind while I’m shitposting that Kaylor might be a bit of a tool for some people to explore their own feelings. And that’s not only true for baby gays but also for grown-ass straight women, who might not be struggling with their sexuality, but are clearly struggling with something.

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ofcoffeeanddreams · 4 years

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Rant coming up.

This has been on my mind lately, and I needed time to sort my thoughts out. I briefly considered not writing about this, but I feel that I need to let this load off my chest. Apologies in advance if I upset anyone, that is not my intention. Oh and also, quite a long post ahead.

Exactly a week ago, Sushant Singh Rajput committed suicide. I went through a whole myriad of emotions. It still affects and haunts me till today. Which is why I think I must let it out.

I first watched Sushant in Kis Desh Mein Hai Mera Dil. My mother was into watching Hindi serials and somehow along the way, I joined her occasionally. A year or so later, I saw Sushant in Pavitra Rishta. I started watching the drama purely for Sushant. There was just something about the quiet and strong Manav that captured my attention. I then watched him on Jhalak Dikhlaja and supported him all the way as a fan.

A few years later, I saw him debuting in Kai Po Che, and I watched him in PK, as the ever dashing Sarfaraz. It was at this point, that I marvelled and remember telling my mother, “Hey mum, you remember Manav from Pavitra Rishta? He made it to Bollywood!”

It was this thing about him making it big and that his talent was not going unnoticed. With his death, it did shock many of his fans, me included. The more I looked into it, the more upset I get.

Here’s my two cents worth.

Nepotism has been rampant in the Bollywood industry lately. Kangna Ranaut raised many questions and got herself a fair number of enemies when she deemed Karan Johar as the flag-bearer of nepotism. One thing I admire about her is that she has the guts to fight for her cause. There are some actors who might not have relatives in the industry, but they have their respective godfathers to give them the push they need to rise.

I was born in the nineties, so I grew up to the likes of Karisma Kapoor, the Deol brothers, Raveena Tandon, Akshay Kumar, the Khans. It did not occur to me that some of these actors were products of nepotism. Back then nepotism was not rampant, unlike now. There are some who are supremely talented. However, it seems like now, just about anyone can be cast simply because of their connections.

It is true that producers or directors can launch whoever they want, but this raises a few questions. Are you launching a star kid because they generate profit better than the talented outsiders? Is launching a star kid better than launching a talented actor who worked their ass off to be where they are? Doesn’t launching star kids make the road much narrower for upcoming actors looking to make their mark?

There are so many gems in Bollywood that have been overlooked, and they are capable of so much more. They should be appreciated more and protected at all costs.

“Outsiders” who are under-appreciated:

Randeep Hooda, Jimmy Sheirgill, Ranvir Shorey, Sayani Gupta, Taapsee Pannu, Radhika Apte, Kriti Sanon, Kriti Kharbanda, Siddharth Malhotra, Kiara Advani, Richa Chaddha, Manoj Bajpayee, Kangna Ranaut, Irrfan Khan, Kay Kay Menon, Nawazuddin Siddiqui, Ayushmann Khurana, Rajkummar Rao, Sushant Singh Rajput, Vicky Kaushal, Siddhant Chaturvedi, Siddharth Malhotra (I know, people might say KJo is his godfather, but he is not a star kid and I feel that he grew by himself), Konkona Sen, Sharman Joshi, Pankaj Tripathi, Rajpal Yadav, Kalki Koechlin, Bipasha Basu, Dino Morea, Abhay Deol (he might be related to the Deols, but he worked his way up by himself damned well).

I am a fan of star kids who I feel are talented and worked their asses off to enjoy the stardom they have now. I like Aamir Khan, Shahid Kapoor, Hrithik Roshan and Karisma Kapoor a lot. I used to like Aliaa Bhatt because I felt like she had the guts to try out different projects and she proved she could act.

However, I somehow let my judgement cloud me a little and it has affected how I see these celebrities now. I came across a video of Katrina, Alia, Shahid and Varun ignoring Sushant at IIFA and it kinda sucked. I should not be judging just based on the context of that video, but still, it sucked seeing Sushant being ignored. Suffice to say, my level of disdain with these actors is going up.

When news of Sushant’s passing came out, I went onto Instagram and my newsfeed was flooded with many “tributes” to Sushant, by many actors from the film fraternity. It baffled me, because these actors posted photos with Sushant, as if trying to prove they had a genuine connection with him and that they apparently cared. Hmm.

Some can even attempt to pull the attention to them, that depression is an issue we should address seriously. There are talks of actors getting Sushant’s projects, and endless preaching of depression, linking it back to themselves. I am sure you know who I am talking about, Repeat after me repeat after me, how about stop hogging the bloody spotlight?! My respect has only gone up for people like Kriti Sanon, Vivek Oberoi and Shraddha Kapoor, who really proved they are friends who loved him. It struck me that this industry I grew up loving, turned out to be shallow and fake.

I unfollowed some people on Instagram. I just got more annoyed when I hear directors say how star kids get roles and do not even need to audition for their roles. This is unfair.

If these talks about Bollywood sabotaging Sushant’s career and pushing him to the edge are true, they have disappointed us as fans. I see a lot of finger pointing after Sushant’s death. Fingers are pointed at the bigwigs of Bollywood, and somehow, us, the fans. That shocked the shit out of me. We as fans, appreciate our talents and actors, which is why we watch their movies in theatres and support them as much as we can, without caring if they notice us or not. I for one, go to the theatres to watch movies and wait excitedly to watch my favourite actors on screen. This shit about nepotism has to be addressed and if this is how it’s going, then so be it. Not being invited to weddings, parties, and to be rated and not invited on a stupid show on his looks and talents and being termed too boring. How could a mind like Sushant’s be boring? THAT IS UTTER COW DUNG.

Sushant’s death, like Irrfan’s, hit me like a personal loss. He grew by himself, defying all odds to be a self-made actor, oozing talent, and love for his fans. He had a brilliant mind, and he was a wonderful person in and out. He had an unsatiated curiosity on how the universe came about, and the thirst for knowledge got him excited. He made time for his fans, he did donations quietly, he sent children to space camps, he appreciated his fans and chose projects that showed his talent and he was paving a way for himself, in all aspects. He was an inspiration for many upcoming actors, who probably told their parents, “If Sushant could do it, there might be a chance for me.” It is sad that all these questions are raised after his abrupt departure. 34 is too young of an age to go, but we will never know what he went through before he made the decision to take this final step. All I have to say is, I hope you are happy wherever you are Sushant. Bollywood did not deserve a gem like you. May you shine as bright as the stars you used to marvel over. We will never forget you. Never.

#nepotism #ssr #nepotism bollywood #sushantsinghrajput #sushant singh rajput

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futurewriter2000 · 3 years

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sorry if this may sound rude but is there a particular reason why you're pro-disease since you don't take the anti-vaccine term well

What?

Dudes and duddetes, there is a point in somebody's life where somebody doesn't give a shit for anything. I am at that point in my life where I do not care about taking the vaccine or not. I don't care about it, I will never care about it and that may be ignorant of me but please do not put the world's problems on my shoulders. I can't solve them and I don't want to solve them. Yes, I know people are dying. People are always dying and people had been always dying. I can't stop death.

Just please, know how stupid it sounds making a whole ass thing and splitting the world in half because of one stupid thing as a vaccine. Just leave people make their own choices. If they want to get vaccinated, okay. If they don't, that's also okay. They are old enough to make the choice for themselves, there's no need to guilt trip them or try to make anybody feel stupid because of one goddamn vaccine.

I wish my 8 year old self would not be so disappointed that the future is full of people who fight because of the vaccine. It's even more stupid than fighting over the TV remote.

And for your information, I am getting vaccinated on Friday if that pleases all of you. I had planned to get vaccinated a long time ago, I just have more priorities than a fucking vaccine. I just didn't because I have health problems that could make the process a bit more complicated.

Pro-disease my ass. Nobody is pro-disease. What a stupid thing to say. It did sound rude and here is my rude answer to the most stupid question ever.

Your question that was put so fucking awfully together to make me feel stupid or to try and guilt trip me into this stupid vaccine theme, has only made you stupid to me. The fact that you care enough to go into my askbox and send me this stupid message is for you to feed of something that you could argument further on. Such as if I would say "vaccines are a goverment's way of using us" or something along the lines "my immune system is taking care of me" so you can go probably something among the lines "people are dying all over the world. How could you have got vaccinated as a kid for other diseases and didn't die."

I do not have time for this... I really don't and you assuming that I am as you said "pro-disease" which, who the hell was your English teacher because clearly they didn't do a good job with enriching your vocabulary, because I said that people should stop forcing other people and guilt-tripping them (like you had just done) into making a choice they can clearly make for themselves, doesn't mean I am anti-vaccine. I am anti-people so fuck off.

Please do unfollow me or block me, so I don't have to see these stupid questions.

#bruh!

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moonstruckbucky · 5 years

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Bitch, ever heard of the word "request"? You're the rudest fanfic writer on Tumblr. Just fuck off.. Ur writing aint that good either. So much hype and so little content in an entire chapter. How lame! I'm unfollowing u now. U ungrateful shitty writer. Learn something from darkficsyouneveraskedfor, darkwritingsnshit, the-soulofdevil, shreddedparchment etc.. Their writing is far superior and they are so friendly in their asks and request. I doubt English is ur first language.

Oh goodie my first really nasty message.

Let’s break this message down because this is a lot of good, juicy shit talking that is mostly incorrect (unsurprisingly).

First of all, you can’t request changes to a story I’ve already planned out and written. In addition, there was absolutely no use of the word “request” in your ask. Already off the bat you came off demanding, and I responded in kind. It’s an extremely irritating nuisance for writers to have these demands made of them. Don’t do that.

Next, the “your writing isn’t even good” defense. That’s your opinion, and you’re welcome to it. My writing isn’t for everybody. But I know my worth as a writer, and I know I write well, so if this was an attempted hit at my confidence, you’re going to have to do better than that. No one will ever be harsher in criticism than I am on myself, so good luck to you.

Third, I think you miss the point of a first chapter: to set the scene. I’ve done that. You want a story that gets right into it? Read a one shot or a different fic.

Unfollowing me? Fantastic. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

As for those writers? I frequently read @shreddedparchment‘s works and they’re phenomenal. I draw a ton of inspiration from them. I’ve also read amazing works by @darkficsyouneveraskedfor as well - also an inspiration. If you want truly dark, I suggest you find it elsewhere because I will never write full noncon. It’s not my thing, and you should never demand something like that of a writer. In fact, don’t demand anything.

Lastly, “I doubt English is your first language”? What is that and what does it have to do with anything? Definitely not writing ability. Congratulations on outing yourself as probably a racist.

This message actually made me laugh. You talk a big fucking game for someone who hides behind the anonymous button. Come off anonymous and let’s see who you really are. I don’t really care if you unfollow me - I’m all for it actually because I don’t need people like you following me. I meet hostility with hostility - you lost my respect the instant you thought it was okay to tell me how I should write my story. You want a story like that? Write it your damn self.

In addition, I’m sure my followers will enjoy this lovely little message you decided to leave a complete stranger who takes time out of her life to find an escape in fanfiction. I have obligations and relationships; this is merely a hobby for me. If you don’t like it, don’t read it, but also don’t waste my time and yours by sending stupid hate messages because you’re too far up your own ass to think it’s okay to decide what a writer should and shouldn’t write.

P.S. - I’m sure I’ll have an outpouring of reassuring messages and responses to this message so have a nice life, anon. You must be seriously lacking in positives in your life if this is the way you behave. Peace. ♥

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modestmuses-a · 4 years

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the positive & negative : mun & muse / fill out & repost .

EKKO

MY MUSE IS : canon / oc / au / slightly canon - divergent / fandomless / complicated

i try to stay mostly close to ekko’s canon but i also have a fuckton of aus for him including some real self-indulgent bullshit that isn’t even on his verses page. if you want me to make a new au for ekko to fit him into a different skin line or something, i’ll probably do it tbh.

IS YOUR CHARACTER POPULAR IN THE FANDOM ? YES / NO / I DON’T KNOW

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED HOT™ IN THE FANDOM ? YES / NO / IDK

for better or worse. when “giants” first came out, i had more ekko smut on my dash than i ever cared to see.

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED STRONG IN THE FANDOM ? YES / NO / IDK

i can tell you what i think of ekko’s strength, and i can tell you that... it isn’t much. he’s not the most adept fighter in the series, and most of the time, he wins fights by cheesing them with time travel. in my thread with @uncaged-bloodhunter ekko would be DEAD four times over by now if not for the zero drive.

however, i haven’t seen much fandom opinion about his strength? i’m going to go out on a limb and say most people probably don’t find him very strong bc? i don’t see a lot of people saying that but. who knows.

ARE THEY UNDERRATED ? YES / NO / IDK

canon-wise, fandom-wise, and on this blog, ekko gets a lot of attention, which i’m not complaining about. he’s a fav.

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN STORY ? YES / NO / IDK

he is important around zaun, but considering he won’t LEAVE that place, i doubt we’ll see him achieve much relevance in the bigger overarching conflicts in the league universe anytime soon.

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN CHARACTER ? YES / NO / IDK

if league did have a main character, i’m sure he would never meet them unless they were from piltover or zaun lol

ARE THEY WIDELY KNOWN IN THEIR WORLD ? YES / NO / IDK

around piltover/zaun, all the academics are trying to get him to sit down with them, but overall? nah. if he went anywhere other than piltover or zaun, they would have no fucking idea who he was.

HOW’S THEIR REPUTATION ? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL

pilties HATE him! click to find out why!

no, but in seriousness, around zaun, his reputation is quite good as one of the few decent souls in the city. but in piltover, he’s just another thuggish troublemaker on a spree of petty crimes, as if zaun doesn’t already have enough of those...

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON ?

shrugs. i don’t actively think about adhering to canon with every thread i write, of course, but i do think i have a pretty good handle on his character so.

SELL YOUR MUSE !( try to list everything that makes your muse interesting to make them spicy for your mutuals )

he is a nice sweet boy who WILL adopt every single child and will go out of his way to help those in need. he also has plenty of spunk and a real get-up-and-go kind of personality, he’s not the kind of person who likes just “hanging around” so he’s a perfect companion for someone who likes to get out and adventure as long as you don’t go outside of piltover/zaun. he’s very loyal and will stick up for his friends, even when it would be more convenient to sell them out. and of course, he’s willing to call authority figures out on their bullshit and doesn’t sit back and passively watch injustices happen.

NOW THE OPPOSITE !( list everything why your muse could not be so interesting . even if you may not agree. what does the fandom perhaps think ? )

he’s got abandonment issues up to HERE, and because of that, he is c l i n g y. if he gets attached to you in any way, he will NOT let you go. he will NOT get over you. he will probably keep trying to worm his way back into your life for months or YEARS because he just doesn’t know how to deal with being left.

furthermore, he represses every negative emotion he has ever felt because he feels like his problems are trivial compared to other people’s so he bottles that shit right on up like cheap cough-syrup-tastin’ whiskey. he holds onto a LOT of resentment - at piltover, at the chembarons, at himself, at the world - and because he doesn’t allow himself to DO anything with said resentment, he’s a ticking time bomb (pun fully intended). i do have... timelines... where all that internalized hostility blows up in a really messy way. and by messy, i mean bloody.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE ?

around the time i first started getting into league, a bitch was going through it. we were pretty destitute and received an eviction notice, and i had to work my ass off to keep us from losing our apartment. it was a very depressing time for everyone involved. but then i found ekko, this boy who had even less than i did but made the most of it, who always found some way to make the day better. writing him became very cathartic for me because it allowed me to take something positive away from what was one of the worst years of my life.

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING ?

punk rock music, haha! especially that of billy talent. their whole dead silence album is pretty ekko, but they have a lot of bangers that remind me of him scattered across all their albums. we deserved punk rock ekko and instead we got fucking true damage because riot didn’t wanna get political, i guess. smh.

some more personal questions for the mun . give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters , which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not .

DO YOU THINK YOU GIVE YOUR CHARACTER JUSTICE ? YES / NO / IDK

DO YOU FREQUENTLY WRITE HEADCANONS ? YES / NO / IDK

i kind of only address headcanons as they come up. very occasionally i will drop a few for a new muse just so that people get a better feel for who they are before writing them but... yeah written headcanons are pretty few and far between here. it’s really not even worth me having a headcanon banner lmao

DO YOU SOMETIMES WRITE DRABBLES ? YES / NO / IDK

i would like to, but writing my replies here kind of sucks up most of my time!

DO YOU THINK A LOT ABOUT YOUR MUSE DURING THE DAY ? YES / NO / IDK

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR PORTRAYAL ? YES / NO / IDK

too confident some might say, but those people would be silly fools

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR WRITING ? YES / NO / IDK

ARE YOU A SENSITIVE PERSON ? YES / NO / IDK

sometimes i get anxiety about stupid shit but i try and often fail to be secure

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL ?

nope, i ain’t changing a thing. i’m the best ekko on this site, and you are free to disagree with that because everyone is entitled to their wrong opinion, but my askbox is closed to those kinds of complaints. :)

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS , WHICH HELP YOU TO EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER ?

yeah, sure, although i understand why people don’t send them because i often draw blanks on what to send without somebody reblogging a headcanon meme or something. if you just reblog “send my character questions on anon!” i’m probably not gonna do it bc i have no idea what kinds of questions would even be relevant or helpful for you.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS , DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY

nah, everyone can do what they want. i usually won’t follow people if i don’t agree with their headcanons, but i’m not about to get all up in somebody’s business about it.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL , HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT ?

again, wrong opinion, but you’re allowed to have it and you’re also allowed to SMASH that unfollow button.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER , HOW DO YOU TAKE IT ?

who hates ekko of all people, first of all? but second of all, i don’t care. just don’t get in my dms about it ‘cause i’ll block you. i’m not really interested in somebody bashing one of my muses to my face.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS ?

shrugs. yeah, i guess. i usually leave other people’s grammatical errors alone as long as i can read their stuff.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN ?

yeah i think so. i try to be, anyway. i like to make ooc friendships bc i find it way more satisfying and easy to write with friends. although i sound a little bitchy in parts of this, it’s mostly jokes for exaggeration effects.

tagged by: @bikmui

tagging: @storiestotell (akutagawa), @bystcrdust, @dimensionaljumper (for eliza ‘cause i always send stuff for scribe lol)

#sad sappy sucker [ooc]#//thanks for the tag cas!#//this was a welcome distraction from the shitshow that has been the past couple days <3

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jewpacabruhs · 4 years

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hi guys! so this post is gonna be a rambly mess but fuck it, here ya go. if u dont wanna read all of it, u dont have to; skip down to underneath the tl;dr in bold text for the important bits :)

(there’s a brief & non-graphic mention of a triggering topic in the next paragraph. please be sure to skip this next paragraph if the thought of suicide is going to upset you.)

alright. so i didn't share this originally, but i spent some time in a psychiatric unit this month. suicidality related. 1000% unrelated from anything online, i've just struggled with depression for a very long time & shit happens. i didn't intend to share that at all & i certainly don't want pity; i'm telling u guys bc my time in the unit was extremely eye-opening, and i have some insight to share. since i've gotten out, with the help of my newest anti-depressant (fourth time’s a charm lol), i'm seeing the world in a better light & i finally have the energy to and the interest in exploring what it has to offer, which frankly i've never had before.

with that has come the realization that i’ve come to do something very unhealthy, and i want to break out of it. and that’s how much i’ve come to rely on my fandom life. i don’t want to get too candid publicly, but mental illness took a lot from me, and i lost most of my life, my future, and my options in the last few years. next year will involve a lot of working on rebuilding things. but in the time that i let things fall to pieces around me & i absolutely couldn’t get out of bed, i had a phone and i had a laptop. so when i couldn’t get up and physically face the world, i built up a new world online.

and i don’t think that’s a completely uncommon experience. most people are able to better manage things, and evenly juggle real life with an internet life (like i did back in middle school), because most people can’t abandon their real lives entirely like i managed to; but i do think a lot of people nowadays rely on their fandom life and their fandom friends when their irl situation isn’t ideal. and that’s an excellent coping mechanism in theory, but i think it’s debilitating in the long run.

forgive me for sounding like an old person, but i’m a heavy nostalgist and a bit of an anarcho-primitivist in that i resent modern technology's influence on society - but that hasn't stopped me from letting it be a big part of my life out of accessibility. the internet kept me occupied during my low points, and i became dependent, but i've realized i don't wanna live like that anymore. i’m vaguely grateful that it usually kept me busy enough that i wasn’t thinking the bad thoughts as frequently, but more than anything, i’m resentful that my grasp on reality got lost somewhere along the way, and i let time get away from me, too. because, again, an internet life should be a fun hobby, but when it’s a lifestyle and it becomes an excuse to avoid dealing with our real lives, bc our real lives aren’t as rewarding or as exciting, then it’s unhealthy.

everything’s at our fingertips these days, but i deeply believe human interaction, fun, and fulfillment shouldn't be spoon-fed to us through a screen. it's easy access, sure, but at the end of the day, is it any way to live? compared with how much world there is to see, i’m no longer satisfied with the thought of sitting behind a screen for another five years. i used to be, when i had no hope and no drive, but not anymore. i’m not gonna let myself settle for staying busy with the thing that takes the least amount of work & movement. not only because i’m a whole ass adult who needs to start sorting my shit out for the long run, but also because i deserve better.

and it’s fucking hard! especially for those of us who are neurodivergent. i dropped out of school three fucking times due to crippling social anxiety and utter lack of ambition and energy. i lost all my friends through that (making friends post-school is hard af); the thought of having to go out and remake friends makes me wanna fucking cry. i have a hard enough time making friends online, i’ve even come to struggle with correspondence thru text & email. phone calls? outta the question. but that’s therapy shit, and i know i’ll get there. i just have to stop putting life off by staying in a comfort zone.

and it’s interesting; depression and anxiety really took everything from me, and while i was dwelling in my own misery, my adhd worsened and decided to make my entire brain revolve around my fixations, so i didn’t have to deal with my own life. can’t think about how much you wanna die and how much you can’t function in society if you’re busy thinking about a ship you like or a character you find interesting. so i latched onto the safety of that. aggressively. problem with that is that once you let your “happiness” (as much of it as you can feel in the midst of your depressive episode, anyway) revolve around an interest, that’s all you have. so you become dependent and reliant, and that’s never good, especially if you’re someone like me who feels pathetic & ridiculous when you realize it’s all you can bring yourself to care about.

and i think that’s what i realized in the psych ward (where there’s legitimately nothing to do; i did soooo much more thinking than usual, and i already think too much haha); mental illness will try to fuck up your lifestyle, so you have to eradicate the things that’ll let that happen in the first place. for example, like i said, my adhd tries to counteract my depression by making me hyperfixate and/or hyperfocus on something else to protect me from bad personal thoughts, and that’s good in theory (doing something you enjoy when you feel bad, to distract urself, is the number one most basic coping skill you learn), but i can’t do it in moderation, i let it run my life, and that’s made me worse in the long run. so i have to force myself out of that completely and not let myself fixate on things that make me happy in the short term, but don’t ultimately further me as a person. having fixations helped me through some awful times, but now i need to force myself to grow up, you know?

and while tumblr and other social media is an excellent way to indulge those fixations, it’s an aggressive enabler, in more ways than one. what i mean by that... okay, so while i’m the type of person who self-destructs while unhealthy, i do occasionally lash out. and i know some people completely explode rather than implode when they’re not doing well. and that’s how you get discourse, i think. because when mental illness makes us care much more about our interests than we ought to, and someone has a differing opinion about that interest, the instinct is of course to attack, if you’re that kind of person. i don’t think i am, but depression and boredom go hand in hand, and i might be inclined to care more about discourse than i would if i were healthy, purely because it’s entertaining and something to do.

that’s a long winded way of saying, while i stand wholeheartedly by my past positions, i do regret starting shit in the first place. i’m not the kind of person who genuinely cares about much and i have little to no sense of morality (im a chaotic neutral bastard), so the fact i was bored enough to start shit really goes against my character and says a lot about how bad i’ve been. so i apologize for all that. but, again, i think that's just what happens when something is truly your everything. and i think the chronic negativity of modern fandom is a result of how damn seriously we all take it, because we care so much and we’re so dependent. fandom’s supposed to be fun, but it’s just too damn stressful this way.

idk my point in sharing all this, but i do think it'd be cool if this kinda got yall thinking. even if you don't engage in discourse, if fandom is just one of your only consistent sources of happiness, that's not healthy either. we all gotta break out & exist more & louder & more positively. and unfortunately i think tumblr fandom (and maybe all modern fandom) is no longer a place that encourages positivity and health.

but for all my criticism, i do just wanna say how eternally grateful i am that i was fortunate enough to meet the people i call my best friends through tumblr. they're my family, truly, and all the bullshit in this fandom has been worth it simply because it brought them to me. i love them to death and i always will, even if interests change, even if we grow apart, even if we quit speaking entirely in the next few years, i love them with my whole heart in a way that transcends a simple fandom friendship and i'm so glad we bonded over sp in the first place. that’ll never change.

i will also always love south park itself. now that the cat's outta the bag about my hospital visit, i can brag about my most pathetic and obsessive accomplishment; the fact that i've never let circumstance stop me from watching a new south park as it airs, and i've now watched sp on 1) an airplane, and 2) in a psych ward. i win for most dedicated fan tbfh. dsjkf & i'll keep that tradition, and i'll still watch this stupid show til it ends! it'll always hold a special place in my heart, & kyman's still my most meaningful & long-term ship. i'll never stop loving it.

tl;dr

so, to recap; for 2020 i'm making myself step back from fandom (not just sp fandom, but fandom in general) and quit letting my world revolve around my fixations so i can enjoy the outside world a little more, mental illness be damned, and the first step is gonna be quitting tumblr. this blog won't be deleted and i may occasionally post (maybe when next season airs) but you're absolutely free to unfollow bc this'll be a mostly inactive blog. i’m also unfollowing everyone, so mutuals, please don’t take that personally.

i will, however, try to write more prolifically, bc fic writing is something i'm able to do in moderation & enjoy, and i hope to get back into it. so if you'd like, you can keep an eye out for any upcoming fanfic i may post - my ao3 is leere. i also have snapchat, instagram, & twitter my mutuals can ask for asap (bc ill be logging out for good by the afternoon of the 31st, which is tomorrow) - though i'm not very active on any of them. still, if you wanna have access to me, i’ll be there.

i want some connection to the fandom still, albeit without letting my life revolve around it, so i'll be starting a new open-to-the-public kyman discord server! the post with the invite for that will go up soon. nvm im too anxious

thank you for reading, thank you for the good times (thnks fr th mmrs), and i hope everyone has a good 2020!

#txt #mine

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hes-writer · 5 years

Text

Harry cheats, Y/N moves on

prompt: could you do like a blurb of him seeing y/n and her new boyfriend on instagram or seeing them in real life and regretting his decision? or having irene cheat on him? @rosepetalumbrella

This blurb is based on “A Cheat” series

It’s a snippet of what could be a whole part, so if you’re interested, please show support !

Harry whips his phone out from his striped pant pocket. The boredom of the day finally getting to him two hours after he woke up. Usually, he’d be hustling and bustling around the city going to meetings, talking to producers, or having lunch with one of his friend whom he hasn’t seen recently from one side of town to another. His second album was almost done, he just need to fine tune some songs in order to make sure they’re as perfect as they can be. Thus, he’s left with a rather empty and definitely not busy schedule for the rest of the week.

Harry uses his fingerprint, unlocking the phone. He huffs at his current lock screen. Irene had changed it to a selfie she took a few days ago, he doesn’t really know how to feel about it since he prefers having sceneries to calm his mind. Nonetheless, he swipes through and clicks on the ‘Instagram’ icon.

His user newsfeed loads for a bit, only showcasing a white page and the first glimpse of the stories his friends had put up to share. Once the pictures load, he swipes up, eyes squinting to see the pictures. Harry taps on the heart shape, he gets a surge of satisfaction watching it fill up instead of double-tapping. Mindlessly, he swiftly passes all the pictures and even went as far back as a few days ago. Maybe I should follow more people, he thought. He taps the top most bar, flicking straight up. He refreshes his feed again.

And when it does, Harry wishes he’d just exited the app and maybe busied himself reading tweets instead because now, he curses at himself for forgetting to unfollow Y/N. Not that he wanted to unfollow her, but Irene threatened that she’ll break up with him if he didn’t—he forgot. So there it is now, Y/N had just posted the photo five minutes ago. In the picture, she was dressed in a black dress reaching her mid thigh—the shortness of the fabric showcasing her toned legs that had Harry’s heart thumping. The low-cut style showed ample cleavage and her hair was styled to perfection. She was holding a drink with her right hand —a Malibu bay breeze —Harry remembers because it was her favourite beverage to drink whenever they went out. He recalls the last few good months of their relationship, before he single-handedly decided that they broke up because his disloyalty ate him up inside and it was much more easier for him to say that it was over instead of talking to her about it.

What cracked his heart just a teensy bit was that Y/N’s left hand wrapped around the back of Alan’s neck, pulling him in for a sweet kiss. Both of them are smiling into it, genuinely enjoying each other’s company. Giving him that gentle, but loving kiss that Harry always wanted to receive from her. Alan’s hands were wrapped around her waist carefully holding her as if she was the most ethereal thing in the world, like Harry did.

He swipes to the next photo. In this one, Y/N was smiling brightly to Alan, looking proud of herself. And Alan was, well, he was laughing; the camera ‘probably captured the moment when Y/N told one of her silly jokes’, like Harry did. Harry laughed at her jokes because they were so bad that he felt empathic for her, he never wanted to see a pout on her face, so he made sure to at least chuckle regardless of how cringey it was. He was glad to see her smiling especially after what he did to her. He was teetering on the edge of regret and pridefulness because his life right now is kind of sullen without her, but his ego wouldn’t let himself fall through the emotional stage. The one where he cried over his stupidity.

While he overlooks the rest of her post, he realizes how happy she looked in each one of them whereas he always had to muster a fake or not-so-genuine smile for his own photos. Her eyes glimmered brightly indicating that she’s probably moved on from his ass, while his life spiralled downhill with Irene. Alan was making her smile, like Harry did before he decided that she wasn’t worth the self-satisfaction of a successful career. Taking her out, like Harry did before he decided that it was too much of a hassle on that day and he’d thought that she was always gonna be around at the end of the day anyway, scampering for his attention. He was dancing with her, like Harry did before his image clouded his love for her and thought that being seen with her lowered the chances of his popularity. Alan was there for her when Harry wasn’t; when all she needs were a few back rubs to relieve her of the stress of schoolwork weighing on her shoulders or encouraging words that made her believe in herself and what she could do. When all she needed were a few notes scribbled hastily to reassure her that he still cared enough to alert her of where he went. When he still kissed her softly because he was too afraid to bother her sleeping figure while he smiled delicately.

Slowly, Harry figures it out himself: why his heart was achey all of a sudden, why his stomach twisted and turned from the events he was seeing, why something deep inside of him wanted to knock on Alan’s door and tell him to stay away from Y/N because the only person who she should be with was him. And maybe she doesn’t deserve to be with his head ass, jerk-self, but Harry can’t help but feel possessive over his ex, regardless if they broke up eight months ago. Was he allowed to feel this way?

It had been three hours after his moment of realization. His brain hurt from thinking, wondering, and ruminating if his heart fluttering meant that he still held something for her or if his brain hurt because of Y/N running around his mind constantly. He remembers the remnants left in their relationship, he remembers the happiest moments, but what’s highlighted was probably the worst. If he tried hard enough—which wasn’t hard at all since it’s embedded in his mind, Harry could see Y/N’s face crumbling from catching him and Irene fucking in that washroom. It hurts him personally to even think about it.

Seeing Y/N enjoying life without him had him dizzy. A complete 180. He wanted it back, he wanted it all back because he didn’t know what their love meant before, how joyful they both were with each other, but now he does. The love of his life; Y/N.

Alan was loving her—like Harry still does.

————-

shoot me a message or drop smth in my inbox if you like it! ❤️😄

#harry #harry styles #harry styles angst #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagines #harry styles one shot #harry styles writing #harry styles writings #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #my writing #harry styles blurb #harry styles blurbs #blurb

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stanthreads · 4 years

Text

❝ 𝘘𝘶𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘍𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘗𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘐 𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘯 ❞

5 Seconds of Summer

Luke Hemmings

“Find something that makes you happy and don’t let anyone take it away from you”

“It Should be about happiness, always”

“Retaining your own individuality is the most important thing”

“Friendship is like peeing yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling it brings.”

“Do more of what makes you happy.”

Calum Hood

“Believe in Yourself”

“Just live right now, and be yourself, it doesn’t matter if it’s good enough for someone else”

“It’s ok to be sad sometimes”

“People don't become gay, bisexual, pansexual, transexual. People just fall in love with another person."

“Even when times feel at their darkest... think of the people you call home & be strong”

Michael Clifford

“It's okay not to be okay.”

“It's a a damn good day to be alive.”

“Don’t lose sight of what makes you tick, and never forget to feed your own happiness, whatever that is”

“Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping them up”

“It’s okay to be whoever the hell you wanna be”

Ashton Irwin

“Just keeping being you. Don't worry what people think. Being you is cool, okay?”

“Never ever give up the fight”

“You aren't on your own. You can find the greatest things in life in the smallest and simplest things, you just gotta take a moment.”

“No matter how nasty people are in life, show kidness, smile through it and love, laugh, be good to people, just cause you can.”

“Be absolutely fearless of what people will”

Ariana Grande

“Cherish every moment even if you’re stressed or hurt... there’s always tomorrow and it always gets better”

“Be happy with you. Love your flaws. Own your quirks. And know that you are just as perfect as anyone else, exactly as you are”

“We have to lift each other up, not try and claw each other down”

“Friendly reminder to be nice to yourself. We often make things harder for ourselves then they actually are. Be good to your brain”

“Be patient and trust the universe please. Everything happens for a reason and you will be okay. I promise. On everything. With every challenge comes growth. Painful periods prepare you to appreciate the beautiful ones awaiting, protect you and force you to look at things differently”

Conan Gray

“real love is fucking rare don’t waste it”

“we are a spec in the universe with little to no importance in the abyss of time and space so everyone just shut the fuck up and get along we are all gonna die with our lifetimes being a mere smudge on the timeline of humanity be nice to each other”

“humans just be mean for no reason lol”

“life gets a whole lot easier when u realize most people are way too consumed judging themselves to take the time to judge you as well”

“tired of y’all being toxic to each other. anyone is allowed to like my music. anyone is welcome here. stop being fucking elitist assholes. don’t care if you’ve known me for years or just found me yesterday. you are all welcome. be nice to each other or imma whoop y’alls asses.”

Dua Lipa

“Success to me, is just doing things that I’m really proud of”

“I just wanna make sure that you guys know that none of this online craziness means anything, never let anyone’s stupid opinions define how you feel about yourself. Any tweets that trigger you or make you feel uncomfortable mute or unfollow with absolutely no fucks given”

“You should keep your friends and loved ones close, trust your gut and go with your instinct. Never let go of the people that are nothing but honest with you, that have your best interest at heart with no strings attached. Love them with everything you have because they deserve the world”

“Be kind to yourself a little more every day”

“Note to self: self love isn’t selfish”

Halsey

“Stop comparing your self to others. You can be the most beautiful rose in a garden and some jerk will still say they prefer daises”

“Just remember, none of us have any idea what we’re doing either. No one chooses to exist. You just do. You’re gonna be ok.”

“Also, love yourself today and everyday. I don’t care what anyone says. You’re funny and you have a cute butt. Embrace life. YEAH”

“If you look at women and see crooked teeth, soft tummy, and think they’re beautiful, you should feel the same about these things in yourself”

“The only person I try to be “better than” is the person I was yesterday”

Harry Styles

“It only takes a second to call a girl fat, and she’ll take a lifetime trying to starve herself. Think before you act”

“A dream is only a dream.. until you decide to make it real”

“We have a choice. To Live or To Exist.”

“You have a choice where you can either be all right to someone or you can be a little bit nicer, and that can make someone’s day.”

“Don’t choose the one who is beautiful to the world. But rather, choose the one who makes your world beautiful.”

Madison Beer

“Stop worrying about things you can’t control”

“If you are broken you do not have to stay broken”

“Don’t lower your standards for anybody. They can step up or step out”

“don’t let em change u ok”

“just be proud of yourself & focus.”

Melanie Martinez

“If someone ever tries to steer you away from your intuition, tell them to fuck off”

“True empathy is putting yourself in someone else’s shoes who you normally wouldn’t. When empathy is restricted by convenience, it contradicts the nature of empathy itself”

“I think, being emotional is this thing that people think you’re not strong. They don’t look at you as a strong person, and it’s weird ‘cuz honestly being emotional has nothing to do with your strength”

“We cut flowers because we think they’re pretty, we cut ourselves because we think we’re not”

“Being emotional shouldn’t be looked at as a weakness, it should be looked at as a strength”

Rihanna

“Don’t lower your standards for anything or anyone”

“The minute you learn to love yourself you won’t want to be anyone else”

“Sure, you wish you did some things differently. But there is no sense in becoming burdened with regret over things you have no power to change.”

“Don’t hide from who you are.”

“When you realize who you live for, and who’s important to please, a lot of people will actually start living. I am never going to get caught up in that. I’m gonna look back on my life and say that I enjoyed it – and I lived it for me.”

Tyler the Creator

“I think I’m cool. That’s all that matters”

“Again, trust your ideas, be your biggest cheerleader and be smart about it cause fuck em”

“Do not, kids I repeat, do not live your life Tryna make your parents/ anyone happy. DO WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT”

“Don’t let these muthafuckas kill your flowers make sure your garden is watered and stunt”

“If you’re gonna go to school at least major in something you actually give a fuck about and love not some shit that makes the most money”

#stanthreads #arianagrande #dualipa #conangray #5sos #5secondsofsummer #melaniemartinez #harrystyles #halsey #madisonbeer #tylerthecreator

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serenagaywaterford · 5 years

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It’s fucking crazy how in a show meant to wake the general populace up, people really do seem to hate majority of the female characters. Note it’s only the complex ones, because god forbid Margret Atwood wrote them as shades of grey and not as definitively “evil” or “good”.

I’ve been in quite a few shitty fandoms in my day but I’m not certain I’ve been in one quite as overwhelmingly tone deaf as The Handmaid’s Tale fandom. I have never seen so much hypocrisy and virtue signalling and fake wokeness in a singular fandom with source material (in terms of the original novel and S1/2 at least) that directly opposes those things. Like I was in GoT fandom for a while and holy shit the misogyny there. So, I know what it looks like. But the thing about that hellplace was that there was still a fairly recognisable and approachable faction that loudly and actively spoke out about the sheer number of issues with GoT (racism, misogyny, etc.) I feel like those people gave up on the show about mid-run, and GoT was left with a bunch of idiots and “libfems” by the end.

The thing about THT is that it appears to be 95% idiots and fake-woke “feminists” I put it in quotes cos they are NOT feminists. They just like to identify as that cos it’s trendy. They have no idea what feminism is if they centre Nick in the THT narrative, or refuse to engage with any female character other than June or Emily in any rational way and instead wish rape, violence, torture, death, and/or intense suffering on any female character (or apparently actor who plays said character!) they personally dislike because they don’t have the braincells to understand what Atwood specifically was trying to do.)

When THT becomes all about a MALE and his precious fweelings, and his uwu luv stowwy wiv Jwune and all they focus on is how “cool” June is for bullying other Handmaids into suicide, and how “awesome” she is for being 1000% selfish and self-absorbed and not caring at all about all the other women (esp. poor women of colour) she tramples on to get what she wants, that is NOT GOOD. This is a character who purposely and actively manipulated a domestic abuse victim to go back to her abusive, violent, cheater, rapist husband for June’s own ends. (And surprise, surprise that blew up in her face and people really take June’s side 100% on that cos “Serena deserves Fred” aka “Serena deserves to be beaten, raped, and abused by her husband because she’s a bad woman who has done bad things herself”. When you are saying a woman, no matter who they are, deserves to be beaten and raped and imprisoned in that situation, you are not a feminist because that isn’t justice for Serena’s crimes. That is torture.) Nothing June did in S3 was heroic. She is almost no better than the woman she hates at this point. I see very little difference between June and Serena anymore, and yet… YET fans think the sun shines out of June’s ass and Serena should be raped to death (aka “Wouldn’t it be soooo cool if Serena became a Handmaid?! Omg so cool! She deserves it! Hurr durr I am FEMINIST!!!!”).

O.o

There is zero nuance in THT fandom. It’s fine to dislike female characters. It’s fine to be critical of them. It’s fine to like male characters (I guess…). But centring men in a woman’s story and then parroting Gilead’s ideals unironically while calling yourself woke? It’s terrifying.

June is so gross in S3, and when she isn’t being awful, she’s written as some child-crazed, hysterical woman. The writers’ full sexism and internalized (or externalized lol) misogyny on clear display. And the fans just LAP IT UP with no critical thought. No complaint. Like, “Yes, this is what a woman should be!” nevermind the entire purpose of the commentary in the novel (and S1) was that women are MORE than just hysterical, overly emotional baby-machines or housekeepers. Women are not mere resources to be harvested like cattle. Women have more personality than just “ME WANT BABBY!!!” Women are resourceful and complex and not all good, not all bad. Women are conflicted and conflicting. Meanwhile, now the show presents women almost identically to how Serena Joy wrote about them, and how Gilead has identified them, and the fans are like “Yeah! This is fine! I don’t see any problems with this at all!”

And if you dare say, “Um, guys, that’s a pretty bad take. Do you understand what you’re actually saying?” you get called a “rape apologist!!! HURRRR!!!! WHAT ABUT 2x10!!!!!” And it literally doesn’t matter what you challenge these fans about, whether it’s Nick, the themes of THT, Serena, June, etc. They see you are a fan of Serena and suddenly the discourse deteriorates completely to “Nazi!!!! you’re a rapist nazi sympathizer!!!!!!!!!”

So, there’s no point in talking to any of them. Yeah, cos I’m the one saying women I don’t like deserve to be raped and beaten until they die as slaves in an oppressive fascist regime. (That’s actually you guys, jsyk.) My favourite was being compared to an MRA. Like, do you people even read what you write?

I’m not the one talking non-stop about how great Mr. Soggy Pancake Man is and how we must protect this precious bean in a story about massive female oppression uwu. “BUT WHAT ABOUT NICK?!?! MOST IMPORTANT CHARACTER!!!” I hate men, lol. I can’t count the number of times I’ve literally said, “I don’t give a shit about ANY of the men in THT. I only care about women and you people are misogynistic pigs for the way you talk about women.” yet I’m a Men’s Rights Activist?

What I hear when I go into the tags:

“All women are awful harpies and stupid or boring except this specific one cos we want her to bone the Cute Boy we’re obsessed with and she’s just basically a self-insert for our own lonely fantasies and we need to only hear about the Cute Boy, not these annoying women. If a woman character interferes or challenges my heterosexual fantasy OTP in any way, that woman must suffer and die, and I’ll laugh and cheer as that happens, especially if she’s beaten by her husband or loses her mind/commits suicide! They deserve it! Also, who really cares about all those other women’s stories elsewhere in the world. BORING! My white saviour self-insert main female character can do no wrong because I am perfect! I’ll even go out of my way and actively search out people who aren’t doing anything to me, aren’t talking to me at all and just keeping to themselves, and send online threats, hate, and insults to anybody who doesn’t agree with me about how great Mr. Stale Bread is and they’re Nazis for not agreeing with me.”

And I’M the MRA? I’m the crazy one?

No self-awareness at all. No nuance. No critical thinking skills. And a HELL of a lot of projection that they don’t even seem to know they’re making. There are grown ass women (like 40 YEAR OLDS!) who worship Nick Bland’s ugly dick, online bullying literal minors who don’t subscribe to the Serena-Hate groupthink. It’s a cesspool. THT fandom fucking SUCKS. I’m gonna guess it’s these same morons who wished that Yvonne would lose her baby cos you hate SERENA. Like, if you don’t think this is disgusting, I don’t know how else to get it through to you that something is VERY WRONG with the vast majority of online THT fandom.

99% of this fandom doesn’t seem to give a fuck what Atwood was trying to say in her novel, or what the show intentionally set out to do challenge and prove. Anyway, anon. I feel ya. I hate this fandom which is why I never check the tags anymore, never go on Twitter, unfollowed the Insta, don’t go on FB, and stick with my very wonderful small group of non-crazies who also appreciate the complex, difficult character of Serena here – and block everyone else I can because I just don’t have time for that kind of constant drama and aggravation from ignorant people.

Wow. Okay. Sorry. Rant over.

#the handmaid's tale #tunglr dot hell #Anonymous

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pantheon-god-of-war · 5 years

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Pantheon is grabage. Hes a boring ass one dimensional warrior minion. Every other aspect is interesting and has depth. Pantheon always has been a bland boring stain in league lore. The whole war god thing was a failed attempt to redeem a shit stain of a character. I will never understand why you torture yourself with such a boring ass character. Just delete your blog and let this champion die, focus on champs that have depth and actually benefit from your writing and art. Stop wasting your time.

Any other day I would have just deleted your “garbage” opinion and been done with it. But my weekends been shit same as my monday and I’ve been on edge ever since so if you were trying to piss me the fuck off, then congratulations you did it.

Firstly, I live under the impression that you should keep your mouth shut instead of insulting someone. But here we are.

Secondly. Do youseriously think I did not notice dumbass? I loved Pantheon ever since he was released, do you honestly think I do not know of his short comings? His lack of lore, the disconnection between his story and all 7 voice lines? How dumb do you take me for? I know. I know it all and I sure as hell don’t need to be reminded by some cowardly asshole.

Has it ever occurred to you that I redesigned Pantheon from the ground up? That I gave him a backstory, motivations, traits, desires and skills. I reconstructed his whole being from the ground up, brick by brick. Because I love the potential he has, what he could be. I was building him up long before the Targon update. I was building him up long before you ever hit that stupid follow button. The whole reason for a rp blog is to give a character you care about your time and investment to build them up more or explore certain areas lore does not touch up on.

Old Pantheon was a spartan self insert, current Pantheon is a war zombie and the coming Pantheon is likely going to be garbage as well. But all you fuckers that knock Pantheon for being a garbage champion think his baker joke is funny and defend that atrocious skin as his best one. I am sick and tired of having to hear it from every one. The lore people who point out his rock like personality, the “friends” I play with who kindly let me know that he is a garbage champion game play wise and you sweaty tumbler fucks who hide behind anon asks to shove your opinions on other people because no one pays attention to you irl. I always swallow it and tank it and endure, nine fucking years I get ridiculed for liking him, no matter who it is, there is always a side jab or some stupid idiot who thinks the baker joke is actually funny.

Honestly I’ve been playing with the idea to nuke the whole blog if the Pantheon rework turns out garbage as I expect. But I won’t give you the satisfaction. I’ll write him as I see fit and honestly if you have a problem with it you’ll just have to swallow it because I’ll always find a way to make him work. If you don’t like Pantheon thats fine, unfollow me what are you doing following a Pantheon blog if you dislike him in the first place, get lost, play in traffic, do something. But leave me alone with your stupid opinion no one asked for. In your own words, stop wasting my time.

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sumptuoushstyles-blog · 6 years

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Y/N visits Harry on tour, and Harry didn’t expect it.

or, Y/N waits for Harry to come to his dressing room when she catches him in the act. The act of cheating, that is.

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Warnings: cheating, angst (again sorry)

Word Count: 2.3k, it’s a long one, folks

When your relationship with Harry ended, you don’t think you have ever felt a pain like that in your life. Which confuses you, because when you told your mom about it ending after all your crying stopped, she asked you how you felt, and the only response you could think of was “numb.”

How could you feel so numb, but also be in the worst pain of your life?

The way things ended weren’t easy. It broke you in ways that you never thought you could be broken. Not for a second did you think he was capable of doing what he did to you.

When it happened, you were in a cheerful mood just a couple seconds prior, giddy with excitement at the thought of surprising Harry after you said you couldn’t make it to his last few shows. You were always able to make it, but you just wanted to surprise him. Jeff was in on it, since he knows Harry’s schedule best, (other than Harry himself).

You were sitting on the couch in his dressing room, wearing one of his tour shirts with your phone out, pressing record to catch his reaction so you could post it to your instagram later. As his footsteps started getting closer, you heard what sounded like more than one pair of footsteps. You automatically thought it was Jeff just talking to him about some end of the tour stuff, but you didn’t hear his voice.

You start to smile as you hear the door open, but as soon as you see him, it’s gone. Not only is Harry there, but so is a girl. There would be nothing wrong with that if his lips weren’t on hers, and if his hands weren’t on her ass, and if her hands weren’t knotted up in his hair.

He shuts the door with his foot, and as he opens his eyes to start getting undressed, he notices you. You’re not crying, but he knows your pissed.

“Fuck.” he says, and the girl he’s with turns around and gasps, putting her head down in shame and in embarrassment.

“Y/N I could explain please jus-” he gets cut off by you ending your recording and laughing bitterly.

“Don’t worry about it. We’re done, Harry.” you spoke, rushing past him nudging his shoulder on the way out as you slam the door behind you.

You haven’t seen Harry in months. You have broken up with people and you’ve been broken up with in the past, sure. But this heartbreak hurt 10 times more when it came to Harry and what he did.

After you flew home, you had your best friend come and help you take all of your stuff out from the apartment, and she helped you bring it to your mom’s house, you wanting to be in the comfort of her.

You have barely left the house since that moment, not wanting to be caught with your almost permanent red brimmed eyes, and you didn’t want to catch a magazine with Harry’s face on it either. You blocked his number, unfollowed all his social media, and deleted everything on your phone that had to do with him.

The same best friend that had helped you get all your stuff, was also the one that brought you back out into the world again for a night. Your mom has been nothing but supportive, but she also wanted you to start getting better, and you staying inside all the time did nothing for you.

Also wanting to give your mom some of her space back, you reluctantly agreed. You decided to go to a club, and you were wearing your best outfit, something comfortable to dance in, but also something that you felt sexy in. With your makeup looking the best it’s been in awhile now, and your hair up in a ponytail, you looked good and felt good. Nothing could bring your attitude down.

You and your best friend finally got to the club, and immediately went to the bar for some shots. Feeling the burn down your throat down to your stomach, you already felt better than just sitting in your bed of your old bedroom.

You were feeling good until you were dancing with a random attractive guy. Your back was to him and his chest was against you, hands on your waist. You felt confident, beautiful even, something you haven’t felt in months.

You broke away from the attractive man, Ryan was his name. Or was it Jason? The shots you took were starting to have an effect on you, so you pulled away and told him you were going to find your friend and get some water, not fully ready to go home with anybody anyways.

As you’re approaching the bar, you see your friend pushing against the chest of some guy, and you see her lips moving as if she’s yelling. You can’t really get a good look on the guy that she is yelling at, but regardless you rushed over and took her hands away, not wanting her to cause any trouble. That was until you looked up to see who the guy was.

Your eyes locked with his, your heart started racing and your stomach clenched. You felt the tears behind your eyes within seconds. You glared at him, and brushed passed him. Just as you did the last time you saw him, nudging his shoulder to get around him.

You got out of the club and started taking deep breaths, trying to regulate your breathing. You walk in the opposite direction of the club, wanting as much space as possible. You lean against a wall, head tilted back and your eyes closed, and that’s when you hear the footsteps, and soon his voice.

“Y/N, please, I just wanna talk t’yeh. Will yeh at least give me that much?” He pleads with you. You laugh at him, lifting yourself up from the wall and opening your eyes to glare at him.

“Give you that much? Really? I gave you everything. I’m not going to apologize for not listening to your petty excuses, Harry.” You shout at him, not caring for who’s listening or not.

“Y/N, yeh need to hear me out. I was upset that yeh weren’t comin’ to the shows, and I did it without thinkin’. It was one time! I swear.” He tries reasoning with you, but you don’t want to listen.

“Pathetic.” you mutter, you feel the tear roll down your cheek. He stares at you, mouth opening and closing every few seconds, knowing what he wants to say but is too afraid to say it.

“Yeh didn’t even cry,” he murmurs, “yeh jus walked right passed me, barely bat an eye. Was almost like yeh didn’t even care.” You’re looking at him now, in shock and in disbelief.

“I didn’t? Interesting.” You tell him, sarcasm behind your words.

“Don’t start with that.” He begins, but you’re already talking.

“No! Lets. Because apparently I didn’t cry for you. Would you like to know the truth?” You ask him kindly, him only nodding in response, scared as to what you’re going to say.

“You’re right, I didn’t cry.” You begin, him opening his mouth to say something. But you continued, still in that sweet voice you were using. “I didn’t cry in front of you. I didn’t cry when I went to get my stuff from the room where your band was at, or when I hugged them goodbye. I didn’t cry when I got in the cab to get to the hotel room, or when I was flying back to London. Nope! Didn’t cry then.” you said. Him still staring at you, waiting for you to continue. “Wanna know when I did cry though?” you asked again, only getting his stare again.

“I fucking cried my eyes out when I got back to our shared flat.” You told him, voice shaking slightly. “I cried. My god did I cry for you. I cried so hard that when I called my mom, she thought someone died. I had to go back to an apartment that was once filled with so much love, and all I felt in me was hatred and sadness. I had to clean out that same apartment, rip out any memories I had from that town, from that flat, from you.” You shouted, taking a breath to continue.

“Did you forget that I recorded your reaction to me surprising you? Because I didn’t. Rewatched it 100 times over to make sure that it was real, that the person who claimed to be so devoted to me and loved me more than anything was cheating on me. Do not say I didn’t care, Harry. Leaving you was the second hardest thing I had to do in my life!” you yelled at him, fully sobbing now, but keeping your voice strong.

He still hasn’t said anything, but you could see the tears in his eyes and rolling down his cheeks underneath the street light. “Since that was the second hardest, I’m sure you want to know what the first hardest was, right?” You questioned him yet again, getting closer to him.

“Trying to get over you is number 1. And as you could tell, I’m not in that club right now because I’m still hurting!” You continue, pressing your fingers into his chest, wanting to hurt him just a little.”Making eye contact with you was a huge mistake because it brings back everything we ever were. It brings back how stupid I was to think that you were perfect and wouldn’t hurt a fly. But here I am, hurt, because you decided that she was what you wanted!” You exclaimed, voice cracking, stepping away from him, not being able to be strong anymore.

“Love, I’m so sorry I-” he tried speaking, but you don’t want to let him. You’re too worked up over months of pain to just let him try and talk his way out of this.

“No, you don’t get to do that.” You begin to tell him, shaking your head in denial. “You can’t call me love and then apologize and expect me to fall right back into you. Which is weird, because I thought as soon as I would hear your voice again I would run into your arms.” You laugh, bringing your hand up to your under eyes to wipe whatever makeup is running.

You start speaking again, softly this time, realizing that there’s no point in yelling.

“Tonight was the first night in a while that I felt confident. I felt pretty. I got attention from a guy who I’m sure that if I wasn’t so broken from you, I would be going home with right now.” You pause, taking a breath as you stare him in the eyes.

“You took that away from me. Made me believe there was something wrong with me because you wanted someone else.” You tell him, confessing how you felt about your own self. You’re not looking at him anymore. Your head is hung low and your arms are crossed over your chest. He’s shocked and mad at himself, since you were always so confident when you guys were dating, even before hand. He runs a hand through his hair before he starts talking.

“I don’t expect what I’m about to say to change anything. But when I mean it was that one time, it was that one time. It was that one kiss that I will regret for the rest of m’life, because yeh were the best thing to ever happen t’me.” He breathes out, choking back a sob as he rubs his eyes. “I wanted you everyday for the rest of m’life, I still want you for the rest of m’life. But I know that I have a lot of making up to do if yeh ever give me that chance. I love yeh, I always will.” He tells you, fully crying now.

You almost want to go up and give him a hug, run your hands through his hair, but you know better.

“You broke my trust, Harry.”

“I know.” He nods shamefully. “There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do t’gain it all back though, I want yeh t’know that.” He tells you, looking at you again.

You think to yourself for a moment and turn yourself away from him, so your back is facing him. The silence overcomes the both of you, the only sounds echoing from the music in the club.

“Would you promise me a future?” You wonder aloud, knowing the answer, but wanting to hear him say it.

“Of course! Yeh kidding me? I, uh, actually bought the ring already.” He tugs on his hair again. You spin yourself around to face him again, “What?” you ask him, needing it to be repeated.

He chuckles softly, shrugging his shoulders with his head hung low, but you’re still staring him down. “I bought yeh a ring, love. Half of the reason I was so upset. Was goin’ to propose t’yeh at that gazebo in the park? The 10 minute walk from the arena?” He tells you, trying to see if you remember. You nod your head slowly. Still in disbelief.

“I know how much yeh loved that park from the One Direction days. Was going to hang lights and make it look all pretty, then ask you in the gazebo. Fucked it all up now, didn’t I?” He laughs bitterly, finally looking up to meet your eyes.

The words flowed from your mouth before your brain could even process them.

“Make it up to me, Harry. Please, gain my trust back.”

You walk up to him, and hug him, quickly feeling his arms wrapped around you, reminiscing to how it used to feel, and how things are so different now.

A/N: hi! hope you all like this one! thinking about making a part two of this if it gets enough notes, which is why I didn’t really make this a cliff hanger but it could also be built off of?? idk!! let me know what you guys think :’) thank you for reading!

#harry styles #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing #harry styles angst #harry styles blog #harry styles wrting #harry styles imagine #harry styles blurb #harry styles au #harry styles one shot #one direction imagine #one direction #one direction writing #one direction angst #harry styles x reader

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throwawayyomni · 6 years

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I'm not putting a title on this post. It's 4:21AM at the time of starting this. I'm exhausted, but I can't sleep because I had a depressive episode and actually almost did go through with taking my life. I held my biggest knife against my throat, cold metal, shaking hand, eyes wide open. I didn't want to tell any close friends or my girlfriend, and I've reached out to other people with no response. I tried going onto the Suicide Lifeline chat, but there was a pretty long wait list and I ended up getting nervous that they'd call some kind of crisis thing and left. I don't have anyone to talk to right now, so I decided to post this. I'm scared, I feel alone, and I don't know what else to do. I need help, but I can't go back to my old therapy office because I was stupid/forgetful and missed some appointments without notice and lost their services. I'm not trying to make it sound like I'm dodging blame, it was completely my fault and is still my fault that I'm not getting the help I need. I have so much history with self sabotage. So much so that I'm hiding these things from the people who care about me the most. I just needed to type this out, even if no one reads this. I just need the comfort of getting it out. I almost slit my own damn throat, no note, no notice, no warning whatsoever, and I'm fucking scared. My life feels like a fucking mess and I almost ended it a few hours ago. I'm lucky that I came to my senses and dropped the knife. Maybe it's not that I came to my senses, maybe it's the fact that I pussied out. It doesn't matter why I didn't do it, I just didn't. I'm alive. I do know what to do. I need help, but I don't know where to go. I don't know what to do. This isn't the first time this kind of thing has happened. The thoughts have been getting worse lately and this is the closest I've ever gotten to taking my life. I feel better typing this out, but I still feel so alone right now. I want to sleep, but I can't. I don't know. I don't know if anyone's reading this. I don't know if it matters. I barely know if I matter. I know others care for me, but I don't know if I matter to myself. I don't know if I even have self worth anymore. I always think that if I had a clone or met myself, I'd want to beat the shit out of myself. I'd want to kill him. I'd want to make him feel on the outside what I feel on the inside. I'd want him to feel all the pain and rage he keeps causing me. I'd want him gone because it's all his fault that I'm so fucked up in the head. This is such an unhealthy mindset, and I feel like there's just no saving me. I can only avoid my own feelings for so long. I don't want to die. I just want to not be here. I don't want to exist. I want to be in a coma or something. Be someone else, anything. I just don't want to be me with all the fucking shit in my head, but I'm stuck here. I want to be happy that I'm alive, but I can't. I don't want to be dead, but I don't want to live like this. Whatever, ignore this long ass whiney post. Just go on with your lives. You don't need to read this. I'm sorry for taking up your wall space and wasting your time on this stupid long post. Unfollow me or block me of whatever. Sorry. I sound so fucking desperate for attention, I just want someone to talk to.

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new-seeds · 7 years

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nobody I know follows me on this blog so here’s another rant from the heart.

By the time I was 5 years old, my attachment style had been implanted somewhere in my brain. My mom and dad were separated, and both were angry, nasty, petty, immature people. Though my grandma tried her best to take care of us--my brother and I still had no one to turn to. No one we could REALLY talk to. If we talked to our mom about our dad--all we got was hate. And vice versa. And my grandma would talk to me about the flaws in both of them. I loved my grandma but even when I was that young---I knew she couldn’t save me. My entire childhood was spent wanting to get away from my parents and wanting them both together at the same time. Growing up got worse because their bitterness only expanded. I was shoved away when they weren’t interested. I could never truly reach them. This kind of love that they showed me was so very flawed. It ruins the relationships I have with people today. I had to fight my parents for their attention, love, and respect. So when I get that easily in a relationship--it’s weird and unsettling. I start to sabotage it because the only time I feel like the other person cares if when they’re arguing with me.

When my first serious relationship ended, I realized it was time for a change. It took me awhile but I became the sun. I was so positive and I felt like nothing could stop me. However, that feeling went away after awhile. It was a false sense of bliss. I thought I had reached the end/peak of my growth–but growth is an ongoing thing. It takes every single day to grow into your better, higher self. And you know what? I kept falling off the path.

It had been an on/off-going feeling. One day I felt like I had everything together, and the next, I felt like life was hopeless. I become so overwhelmed with emotions and learning how to be open about them. Because of trying to fit in all those years, I never really learned how to express my thoughts. I was always afraid of other people hearing what I really had to say. I was very insecure about my own feelings. I felt like I no longer knew how to communicate. I became anxious and incredibly shy in social situations. But it’s something I’ve been trying to work on everyday.

My friends were very supportive of me and who I was and what I had to accomplish. I felt the same way about them–even if I couldn’t ever express it. But as I fell more and more off the path, I became a little distant. I was lost in the void between what I wanted to do–and how I actually felt. And when I hung out with them, I somehow still felt alone. Disconnected. And I didn’t really relate to anything they wanted to do other than smoking, and art. Something we never made time for anyway. When I ran away, my friend took me in and she honestly saved my life in a way. I can never thank her enough for that. But it was an awkward time–with a funeral on her plate and my depressed ass taking up space in some place I knew I didn’t belong. and I felt so vulnerable because I felt like I deserved whatever kind of pain was thrown my way. I deserved whatever bad karma I had coming because I felt like all the decisions I made were selfish. I felt selfish for taking up all the space they had. I felt selfish for depending on them. Even if they told me that I could aways do that. how could I show the appreciation they expected of me, when I felt almost nothing but guilty about it? I realized that my issues were deeper than the surface of my situation. I needed to truly finish working on myself.

But before I realized any of that–I became hopeless and depressed. I thought that my life was for sure not going anywhere and I was upset because I knew it was all my fault. The emotion that I hate to feel yet always do is guilt. Because I feel like everything is my fault. And just like how I can’t open up about positive feelings, it’s even harder to open up about the negative ones. Because I was even more afraid of knowing that I was right. I can open up about my feelings on other people and life–but never ever ever my own self and thoughts. And before I know it, I disappear. I cut off all relationships because I knew that staying in them would either destroy me or bring out the worst in me. You see, when you’re feeling guilty–it’s because you’re still living in someone else’s expectations. I may write posts about how I don’t give a fuck–but I’m my own harshest critic. I care about the decisions I make-both bad or good. I learned to care about myself. And with that, I realized that it was time to change my expectations and my environment.

And though my friends were there for me–I felt like we were no longer on the same paths.

Boo, you were so fucking mean to me sometimes. Even your old “best friend” would talk shit about you to me whenever you weren’t in the car with us during breaks. I know you think I’m probably attacking you, but I just want you to envision the person I was friends with. She was manipulative–even if it wasn’t towards me, playing mind games is has never been cool. It’s high school pettiness. You know exactly what I’m talking about. She talked down to me, almost every single day. Your goal whenever you argue with someone is to make them look and feel stupid. Your intention is to hurt them–rather than just getting your point across. And trust me, I’m not the only person who can say that. She was someone that was stubborn–and very insecure. You can tell just by the way she’d become anxious and angry whenever she didn’t attention from a lover right away. Or by the way that she keeps tabs on people that have unfollowed her (like I did ever since our argument in early July). You keep tabs so that you make sure you’re succeeding rather than they are. And honestly–I can’t tell you how much that just proves to me that you are insecure about the way you are and the way you act. You push people away and without even trying sometimes. You sometimes purposely just give off this vibe that makes people feel ridiculed and unwelcome. unless of course you’re kissing the ass of some art hoe you think is cute. But honestly—I don’t even wish any hate or bad karma on you. I honestly hope you can see it and admit it to yourself so that you can finally do something about it one day. I’m not perfect–but neither are you. You may be body positive–but do you really love yourself, hon? Do you love the way that you knowingly treat others? Or the fact that you hold grudges and constantly fuel them with your petty energy?

The only thing I ever wanted from you was to admit your own pettiness, and to also grow from it. I actually didn’t give a fuck about anything else.

You can turn people against me but what I have in me is way stronger than any of that--and it’s the truest form of self-love, baby girl. I love myself enough to let go of my grudges. To push myself to do better. I love the person I’ve become. I’m getting to know myself more and more everyday and I can honestly say it’s been the best feeling I’ve had all year. I love myself enough to not let my mind be consumed by the negative energy you probably wish upon me. And, ya know what? I’m sorry if you feel that way. I honestly wish you the best.

#personal

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