half of the songs on ‘wpsiatwin’ turn 20 this year

they say i will be twenty soon but i can't recall myself being alive for twenty whole years. i have survived them, though. the wounds are golden scars on my heart letting the light in.

time is being so funny right now and i cannot, for the love of God, find the will to fake laugh at it. they say it will get funnier and i can't even imagine feeling even more like everything is flying by as if it's sand falling away through the gaps between my fingers.

my memory is very very hazy. so generally, i don't remember much. but randomly, i remember some random thing from these twenty years and thus begins another random nostalgic dive into the ocean of "where'd the time go?"

they say i will be twenty soon. it's too old. it's too young. my childhood is gone, according to them. my inner child is now learning to breathe, according to me. my life stands ahead of me and yet the past has already denied so many ways to walk upon. and decided so many, too.

this is not a crisis or calamity. this is not a beginning or an end. this is just another milestone in time, one that feels significant because twenty is supposed to be a sign that you now know enough of this world.

you know to lower your expectations so that you aren't disappointed at every turn. you know to accept most things by chanting "it is what it is" in your head. you know now that pain is the ultimate end of everything in some or the other way so it's better to become better at tolerating it than avoiding it. you know that life has its ups and downs but the downs are supposed to make you value the ups more. you know to count your blessings, to keep your memories closely tucked to yourself because they are the only real home you have. you know to value your people more than anything and yes that includes yourself too.

twenty is a very young age but it is old enough to know these things and many more. i will now embrace a whole new decade while holding hands with all of my previous nineteen selves. the best gifts that getting twenty years old can give you is the clearest sense of reality that you have had in life yet, a perspective that is both super young yet not so easily malleable and the rightest amount of hope. and so, i'm happily here and grateful that i made sure to hold on when the storms were angry.

~ shreeya.

Happy December, everybody!

For those of you following along at home, this November was my 20th NaNoWriMo, and because I've been utterly obsessed with the Jedi Survivor video game, I decided to do something a little different and write not only something original (it's Not A Star War, I swear) but also some Spyscrapper fanfic. I ended up writing over 60,000 words combined, 23k of which I threw up on AO3 and ran away.

(So I got to not only win NaNoWriMo, but I also completed my super secret second goal for the month, which was to start and FINISH the fanfic)

So here, have my very first post on AO3 and my first fanfic since the Roswell fix-it I wrote in 2002. It's pretty different from what I usually write, so it was a little uncomfortable to do! But stretching your creativity is good, right?

What if Cal and Bode switch bodies just before the events of Nova Garon? Presenting what if I had your heart, what if you wore my scars.

Massive thanks to the Spyscrapper Discord for sprinting along with me (this wouldn't have become a thing without y'all), and super duper mega thanks to @voidcat-senket for cheerleading. Absolutely no points to @freaoscanlin for being there since the beginning of my NaNo journey and leaving me hanging this time for perfectly acceptable reasons. Now I have an AO3 post. Happy?

Lula presidente, PORRA!!!!!!!!

celebrated twenty years on this planet!!

Happy 20 years to one of the best shows made!

Somehow, against all odds, after 20 Gregorian calendar years of playing Guilty Gear XX off and on and Axl always feeling like shit to play, I picked him on a lark and found that suddenly my practice from Strive has apparently reached a level where it has transferred backwards to make him feel beautiful in XX too ' <'

y'know it's been like four years since sotd came out and honest to god this is still the most satisfying win OF MY LIFE

The Why and the How..

The unavoidable "about me" blog post :D

Tooth has been hurting for the last few days, gave up and called the dentist with a...when can you fit me in? An hour? Oh, yeah, I’ll, uh, make that work. Sounds good.

Went to dentist, described the pain as best I could. They made confused faces, took x-rays, shoved some cold things at my teeth, and then my dentist sighed and told me, “Well, sometimes teeth just die.”

And THAT’s gonna haunt me for the rest of my waking days.

When you're not religious anymore but Switchfoot re-records an album and you're all about it

Saw The Marvels today and loved it. Haven't laughed that much (in happiness) at a movie in theaters in a long time. Parts made me so giddy I was actually kicking my feet in geeky joy.

Then I reached 25k+ on my 2023 NaNoWriMo projects (yes, I'm writing two this time around, something "original"--it's Not A Star War--and a Jedi Survivor fanfic because I've fallen *hard* for that ginger Jedi), which may be the fastest I've ever reached the "halfway point" in my 20 years of doing NaNo. Clearly when you like what you're writing the words come faster...

Today was a pretty good day. And tomorrow I stream for the One Hundred Hours of Writing, so here's hoping that goes well too.

Treasure Planet: Platinum

Treasure Planet turns 20 this year. 20! I can hardly believe this movie came out 20 years ago. I still love it. I still love Jim even tho I'm no longer a broody teen like him. I remember going to see it in theaters - this movie resonated with a small fandom back when it came out. Those who loved it REALLY loved it. It wasn't until years later when they started showing it on Toon Disney that the fandom got way bigger. And who wouldn't love Jim - he's voiced by Joseph Gordon-Levitt who is honestly the perfect pick for the character. I love how they combined two totally different styles to make him emo + surfer. The ending of his movie had endless potential but Disney never did anything else with it. Their loss - I'll take him if they don't want him. Since it's been twenty years Jim would be about 35 years old here. I imagine even tho he went to the academy and became a professional spacer he still builds his own surfers and in his downtime you can find him stuntin' in the ethereum - trailing comets. I was gonna give him facial hair but it refused to look right. Still iffy on his tattoos. If I think of something better I'll update it. Likewise when I make the speedpaint video. Catch some of the light coming off my man 💫 

There are twenty years to go And many friends I hope Though some may hold the rose, some hold the rope

I forgot how much I love that interview with the rock paper scissors - them bickering over the coffee/tea is amazing

Matty saying "ten years of marriage" is definitely giving the same energy he had on stage in Pittsburgh when George wouldn't pick up his cue for It's Not Living because he'd changed it slightly. Except now it's twenty years 🥲

(x)