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crunchbuttsteak · 2 years

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When you piece together the fragments of James T. Kirk’s early life & days at Starfleet Academy that we get from TOS (Shore Leave, WNMHGB, Court Martial, etc) we see that Kirk was not originally the confident captain we see TOS, but an awkward nerd.

It happens entirely offscreen but Kirk has an incredible glow-up.

So much so that I’m implementing a new headcanon, namely that she’s a trans woman named Gillian Kirk:

When Gillian was younger, she clung to rules and regulations like a life preserver. Maybe it was lingering trauma from Tarsus IV, where the colony’s governor decided to go Thanos at the first bit of disruption.

But by the time she made it to her first year at Starfleet Academy, she was bullied severely by an older cadet named Finnegan (TOS: Shore Leave), who’s bullying she endured up until Finnegan graduated the academy.

Contrary to her later reputation, Gillian Kirk was a serial monogamist at the academy, falling in love with another woman named Ruth. Unlike the captain we see later on, Gillian was intensely academic, an attitude that she herself would describe as “positively grim.” (TOS: Shore Leave)

Kirk and Ruth’s whirlwind romance was not to be, however, and Ruth ended the relationship. (TOS: Shore Leave)

Gillian herself felt like something was missing from her life, like something wasn’t ‘right.’ A feeling she couldn’t put her finger on.

It was here that Gillian found herself a new family of sorts, with one of her instructors at the academy. Benjamin Finney and his wife Naomi Finney. Unlike her romance with Ruth, this was entirely platonic, owing to the power differential between her and Ben. (TOS: Court Martial)

Gillian and the Finney’s were close, acting as a familiar support for her when she needed it the most.

There were close enough that they named their daughter Jamie after her deadname.

As much as she loves her honorary niece, the thought of being Jamie’s uncle never sits right.

Gillian continues to be what Gary Mitchell would later describe as “a stack of books with legs.” (WHMHGB)

The shadow of the Kobayashi Maru test looms over her, however. (TWOK)

The first time she takes it, she can’t save her ship.

When the teachers tell her about the importance of the no-win scenario, she balks.

After all, she LIVED through one on Tarsus IV, watching Governor Kodos become Kodos the Executioner and order the genocide of half the colony at the first excuse. (TOS: Conscience of the King)

Gillian manages to tweak the scenario just enough that it becomes possible to succeed.

The tweaks are all within the bounds of where these parameters are set for a regular Kobayashi Maru simulation, but when combined, it makes the scenario winnable.

Cadet Gillian Kirk’s solution is within the letter of regulations and yet it is flagrantly against the spirit of it.

In doing so, she earns herself a commendation for original thinking.

On her first training voyage on board the USS Republic, things go south.

Benjamin Finney accidentally leaves a circuit open on the atomic piles. This could have easily killed everyone on board. And Kirk, with rules and regulations as her life preserver, dutifully reports him.

Finney doesn’t take it well, ending the friendship between them, blaming her for him getting the captain’s mast.

Kirk is also called in to talk to the captain. He tells her that she did the right thing but did it the wrong way, and that she won’t maintain morale if she leads like that.

At the end of the Republic’s cruise, Gillian is afraid of her own ability to command, the talking to she got from the Republic’s Captain shook her up and now she doesn’t know if she wants to continue in Starfleet.

She requests to take a leave of absence from Starfleet, but the commandant of the academy refuses to let somebody as smart and talented as her be chewed up and spit out by Starfleet.

So instead she is offered a posting as a TA at the academy.

Her classes are popular and well-attended, with her getting a chili pepper on Space-RateMyProfessors. Yet that still feels hollow for some reason.

Here, in academia, she’s on familiar territory. And while she tries not to play favorites, she does strike up a friendship with one Gary Mitchell. (TOS: Where No Man Has Gone Before)

Mitchell is ambitious, talented, and confident. Everything that Gillian wishes she could be.

Mitchell pushes her to get therapy to deal with both the Republic and Tarsus IV.

It helps her, quite a lot.

But it’s a blonde girl named Carol Marcus that Mitchell introduces her to that changes things.

Carol Marcus is a grad student at SFSU. She’s a biologist working on more resilient crops and farming techniques, to prevent another Cerberus or Tarsus IV.

A friendship becomes a romance, and for the first time since Ruth, Kirk bares her soul to Carol.

Carol soon sees that under the exterior of a bookish stickler for the rules is somebody who understands the truth, that “regulations are written in blood.”

It’s not enough for Gillian to follow a rule without question but to understand why that rule exists.

And between her budding relationship with Carol and her therapy, Gillian comes to a conclusion. She’s trans, and she never was a man at all.

With Carol experiments in pronouns, crossdressing, and makeup help her come to terms with her gender.

And so with the best medical care that 23rd century earth can provide, Gillian Tiberius Kirk makes her transition.

She thought about changing her middle name, but if Michael Burnham can be a girl with a traditionally masculine name, then everybody else can just deal with it.

Out of her shell, Gillian Kirk is confident and charismatic, and sweeps her girlfriend off her feet.

Kirk is thinking of their future together, with herself and Carol, and has serious thoughts about getting married.

Gillian Kirk was many things but she was never a Boy Scout.

Carol though, isn’t attracted to women and as Gillian continues her transition, the less attracted she is to her. She hates thinking that because she’s never seen Kirk so happy, but she can’t deny it.

They break up, amicably. Kirk to the Farragut and Carol to postgrad studies.

#Star Trek #star trek tos #james kirk #Gillian Kirk #trans!kirk #trans headcanon

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neurodiversebones · 2 years

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Booth had military boyfriends! Still serial monogamist, but moving from base to base, losing people, it was a space to figure out himself out without being mister hotshot high school boy. Actual vulnerability!!! Also why, at the FBI, he didn’t have partners anymore. Too much old hurts

Also don’t look at me projecting my own gender feelings, but Seeley Booth is so fixated on presenting correct masculinity, only doing Guy things Masculinely with a cocky belt buckle. I’m just sayin, trans booth is right there. Tempe takes it so easily in stride, no bid deal at all, that it’s almost a non-event when he confides in her. With acceptance, he gets less touchy about it and more comfortable in his own skin. Then they get to adopt foster kids and it’s life fulfilling for everyone 😌💛💛💛💛

YES !!!! i love both of these . booths military boyfriends are SUCH an interesting idea . tbh i like the idea of booth running into one of them and brennan ABSOLUTELY knowing what's going on even though booth doesn't say a word . but the thought of booth ,,, actually being vulnerable ?? and getting to actually explore liking men ?? so special to me

AND YES !!!! nobody will ever listen to me abt trans booth bc its my absolute crackpot hc lmao . and brennan would definitely be so chill abt it and be like "okay ???" and i would love that sm . i absolutely ADORE the idea of them adopting !!!!

#asks #lgbt headcanons #seeley booth #bones #bones tv #bones headcanons

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greenlikethesea · 2 years

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sorry if this is in one of the fics and i’ve just fully forgotten, but what’s going on with robin romantically in fair ithilien? I know her and nancy are together in another one of your fics that isn’t a part of the series, at least not formally :)

hey there! this is a great question -- paging @sparklyslug as always to fill in the blanks!

we have plans for robin in our big document of ideas for this verse, but one thing we unanimously agree on is that she falls in love all the time, and that once she is out of hawkins, she is a perpetual serial monogamist. every woman she meets is the one for about three months, until she realizes that this particular woman sucks, or she gets dumped, or she accidentally ghosts someone. her adult adhd diagnosis in the mid-2000s is eye opening for her. her date for el and mike's wedding is her perpetual on again/off again situationship leslie, a stunning, confident, capable butch who's a bit younger than robin and has some growing up to do.

robin goes to iu bloomington on a marching band scholarship and sticks around there for a year or so afterward, but attends graduate school at butler and ends up teaching there. she finds a lovely home in the indy queer community, though there is some tension between her and some of the lesbian separatists in the scene, because she has happily dates sapphic trans women and bisexual cis women as well as cis lesbians, and is friendly with a lot of bisexual guys. (robin buckley saying fuck terfs since, like, 1987.) when steve comes out, he primarily meets men through her, so he completely bypasses the biphobia present in other areas of the scene.

as for her and nancy? you'll see. ;)

#fair ithilien verse #ask #ask game #stranger things

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shapeslain · 2 years

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some things about my allyson that i WILL put in a proper about page once i’m not on my shitty 2009 work desktop computer:

allyson is a capricorn, her birthday is january 6th!

as a result of breaking her knee and femur during her confrontation with michael in 2018, she had to get a knee replacement. her left knee and leg as a whole aches in the cold, and limits her physical activity, which was a struggle to deal with especially in the first 1-2 years after michael disappeared.

there was once a time when she was the star of the haddonfield high school track and field team, and aspired to run marathons. after helping kill michael and leaving haddonfield, she’s finding her passion for it again. she also very much wanted to start training for triathalons, but that aspiration is in the past. right now, she’s very into yoga, walking, and swimming.

she loves beer and IPAs, specifically in combination with hikes. she can’t hike as much as she used to.

i just know karen was the type of parent who wanted allyson to be involved in different activities, and as a result allyson knows how to play the trombone.

allyson is 5′9.5″. very important to add. she cut her hair after michael grabbed it in 2018 and still cuts her hair herself, but she’s gotten better throughout the years. considering her and judith myers’ resemblance - i’ll embed the comparative pic once i find it - she typically dyes her hair darker. at one point she had pink ends post-2018.

allyson also identifies as non-binary and goes by she/they. she does have a slight preference for masc people but also has such an unhealthy attachment style that she tends to be into anyone who shows her attention, especially as a trauma response. she’s very into flirting, and has historically been a serial monogamist. but - i do definitely think her and vicky were, at the very least, not platonic; and imo, cameron elam was an egg (aka a trans woman who has not come out of the Egg just yet. lots to unpack abt that but that’s how i feel and headcanon them!). allyson is pretty fem(me) but in a queer way imo.

post-ends, she’s finishing up her bachelors in the hope of becoming a psychiatric nurse, likely somewhere in chicago. she has no family left besides laurie, who she keeps an emotional and physical distance from for a long time post-ends despite reconciling.

some canon divergences: i do see her as having a much more active role in killing michael, at the very least. she is he one who slits his wrist after freeing laurie from his grasp. she also struggles with michael having very intentionally left her alive after having so many opportunities to kill her, and struggles to trust anyone after being kidnapped by sartain, after being groomed by doug, and after the truth of corey came out. vulnerability is super difficult for her, especially around men who are not frank hawkins.

oh, and also - allyson adopts a rottweiler whose name is rosie, who probably also distrusts men.

#re: study.#maybe michael myers IS homophobic /j

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wolf-girlfriend · 2 years

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about:

💖 Lily or Lillian, she/her, 25, bisexual 💖💜💙, trans woman, dom, top

stuff to expect:

💛 warning for hard k!nks like cnc/somno

🌻 all posts assume everyone is consenting and some are definitely just theoretical!

prefer not to see:

piss, probably more ?

don't / limits:

🙅‍♀️ scat, inc3st, dd/lg, ageplay, similar, probably more ?

🚫 no sending sexual stuff to me without at least talking to me first

🔞 don't follow/interact if you're under 20 or a chaser or something (will block you if your age isn't easy to find 🥰)

❓ I'm happy with any gender/sexuality following but please respect other peoples boundaries 😊

ℹ️ bdsm test thing below

== Results from bdsmtest.org ==

100% Primal (Hunter)

100% Brat tamer

100% Switch

98% Rigger

97% Degrader

94% Brat

94% Sadist

93% Dominant

90% Pet

89% Degradee

89% Masochist

87% Rope bunny

81% Non-monogamist

80% Submissive

71% Voyeur

65% Master/Mistress

60% Experimentalist

54% Exhibitionist

45% Owner

32% Primal (Prey)

30% Slave

29% Vanilla

0% Boy/Girl

0% Daddy/Mommy

0% Ageplayer

http://bdsmtest.org/r/g4fE6hCn

#selfies are at ->#lily_face #also obligatory dont assume stuff abt other people in my system from me 💓

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yourbutcboyfriend · 11 days

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introduction posts

You can call me buck and I use hy/it pronouns. I am a GNC Butch intersex Abinary Transfemmasc and a Lesboy who is Bi Sapphic-Achillean T4T. this i my Coining/flag making blog before you think of following me I do support all good faith labels and I also believe in people reclaiming slurs used against queer people Like Dyke,Fag,Tranny etc… I'm also a mixed BIPOC jew I'm in support of Palestine and I am anti-zionist.

My DNI list

Zionists

Bigots

Anti-good faith labels

TERFs (Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminists)

SWERFs (Sex-Work Exclusionary Radical Feminists)

Aphobes (Prejudiced against asexual/aromantic people)

Racists

Homophobes

Transphobes

Pro-lifers

Disrespectful or hateful individuals

Ableists

Fatphobes

Anti-BLM rhetoric

Climate change deniers

Conspiracy theorists

Anti-vaxxers

QAnon supporters

Religious extremists/fundamentalists

Stalkers/harassers

Interact List

16. Queer artists and creators 17. Mental health advocates 18. Anarchist/anti-authoritarian thinkers 19. Indigenous rights activists 20. Environmentalists/eco-feminists 21. Harm reduction educators 22. Sex educators 23. Childfree/anti-natalist supporters

24. Polyamory community

25. Kink/BDSM practitioners

26. Gender non-conforming individuals

27. Transgender trailblazers

28. Butch/masculine lesbians

29. Bearish/masc queer men

30. Drag queens/kings

31. Ethical non-monogamists

32. Relationship anarchists

33. Feminist pornographers

34. Queer gamers/geeks

35. QTBIPOC community

Thin Ice List

11. Those questioning identities in bad faith

12. Allies who keep making the same mistakes 13. Willfully ignorant individuals 14. Concern trolls and sealioners

15. New acquaintances who seem potentially problematic

16. Aggressively centrist "rationale" thinkers

17. Edgelords taking things too far

18. Corporate brands with shady practices 19. Mainstream media outlets

20. Radical feminist gender critics

21. Religious apologists

22. Diet culture and fitness influencers

23. Pick-me/"cool girl" types 24. Conservative LGBTQ+ individuals

25. Men's rights activists (MRAs)

26. All Lives Matter supporters

27. Anti-Islam sentiments

28. Zionist apologists

29. Immigration restrictionists

30. Tradwife/feminine revivalists

#pinned post #about the blog #introduction

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callmepetraaswell · 5 months

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Check it out

== Results from bdsmtest.org ==

99% Submissive

94% Exhibitionist

92% Slave

91% Rope bunny

90% Experimentalist

85% Degradee

79% Non-monogamist

76% Voyeur

75% Masochist

67% Pet

#bdsmtest

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kingsragesqueal · 2 years

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I wanna know about the ocs you made a few days ago please!!!

okay so !! as a refresher:

this is Mateo, cis guy, he/him

Hunter, nonbinary (agender) menace, they/them

Fern, trans woman, she/her

they're all in a poly relationship and they're freshmen in college together. they're saving up to rent a place together but for right now Fern and Hunter live in the dorms and Mateo lives at home w/ his family. Fern visits home a lot to see her parents, her sister and her fish (she, Hunter and Mat all co-parent. her parents are the doting grandparents watching over their beloved grandfish while their daughter is at school)

Fern has the least chaotic home life; her family is small and quiet. they're a traditional Jewish family but not uber conservative. they've always been supportive of Fern being trans, if not entirely understanding (her father didn't understand why she couldn't just be happy being a boy at first, but they've talked a lot and he mostly Gets It now) her sister is four (4) years younger than her and is named Rachel. her family was more confused about her being in a relationship w/ two ppl at the same time than they were about her being trans tbh. her parents are very monogamist ppl and her sister thought it meant she was cheating on both of them. again, discussions have been had and they're getting a lot better about it. they like Mateo and Hunter even if they think Hunter is a bit of a Troublemaker (they're not wrong tbf)

jesus christ this is long jjehfef i'm gonna cut it off here for now and continue in another post

#long post ////

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booklust · 6 years

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Futurelit Vol 5: Grace Byron

This time around, I had the absolute pleasure of chatting with Grace Byron, the Brooklyn-based columnist, writer and filmmaker and all-around brilliant, benevolent creative spirit whose recent book release party for NB Carrie Bradshaw (read it here via Epigraph Mag!) at Babycastles solidified my love for her and her work.

This interview was the first time I had the opportunity to conduct a classic interview over the phone instead of over text chat, or as I like to call it for reasons I’d gladly explain to you over a glass of wine, “The Tony Hawk Method.”

This resulted in a truly gorgeous conversation that flows synaptically and always takes surprising directions (Twin Peaks, the afterlife, and a tender moment involving Coldplay that occurs towards the end---when you see it then you’ll understand!). It also brought me right back to the days at my editorial internship where I would transcribe hours of interviews, but in a good way this time. I took great pains to not only get the content and diction right, but to convey the undertones of our exchange that made it so vibrant. Which, interestingly enough, makes it take on the visual form of a text chat.

Check out our conversation at the jump, with gorgeous illustrations by Becky Ebben:

You do a column called “Trans Monogamist” for the Bushwick Daily (I binged that…it’s really dope) and your latest project is NB Carrie Bradshaw (which is out now!). So I’m curious, what sort of came first: your interest in the format of an advice columnist/relationship columnist, or your love of Carrie Bradshaw?

Actually--I didn’t start watching Sex and the City until January 2017, which everyone is sort of super surprised by, and honestly? Me fucking too. Not that it’s a perfect show, but the aesthetic signals that it’s something that I should have seen a long time ago. It took me a long time to get to it. I had heard a lot of the negative stuff, which there is a lot of, and rightfully so. There’s this one terrible bisexual episode where Carrie’s just like, “I just don’t know….he’s bi .” And I’m just like… “Girl, so what.” The point is, the column writing came sort of naturally. I had a column a few years ago at my paper called Queer Art Vibes before I had even seen Sex and the City. And I was mostly writing about art, and capitalism, artists, and things I was finding interesting aesthetically. The last column that I wrote was after I had a break-up, and it was called “How To Date an Anarchist.”

Oh my God

And it got like, no comments. Because most of the columns that I was writing were about trans identity and stuff. I got all these comments like, “Why can’t people just make up their minds about gender?” And I’m just like, that’s completely irrelevant to what I’m talking about. So this column got no comments at all. There’s this huge anarchist population at Indiana University. It just closed down this month, but we had this huge anarchist bookstore that was this huge draw for the punk scene.

It was a column that didn’t make sense for where I was writing. But then as I was watching Sex and the City, and as I was doing a lot more dating my last year in college, I was thinking “yeah, this is really important to talk about.” And I started thinking of dating as a political and aesthetic and emotional practice. It’s more using this pop culture phenomenon to let people understand something about what it’s like to be trans and dating. It’s not like it’s me and my three friends that are all going through the same things. Or it’s not like me and my straight girlfriends talking about how our experiences are different. Or me and someone who is nonbinary even talking about how it’s different for both of us. But I do like that element of friendship in it, that element of comradery. But I think it’s interesting now that shows act like there’s this group of 4 friends and they’re all the same. And that was never my experience? You know, there’s always a nonbinary person, a lesbian person, and...maybe a straight man.

LOL the token straight

Right. At least that’s my college experience, where I’ve never had a group of friends that were all the same. There were always at least one other gay or queer person. It’s a helpful lens to think about dating, and think about dating how much it’s changed since the early 2000s. A column is a dispatch from the front lines, like “this is what happened this month! How’s it going with you?” The book [NB Carrie Bradshaw] has a little bit of a more narrative arc to it. But in the columns, there’s no resolution. -----keep reading below------

Right, and that’s what I like about it. There’s endless thinkpieces about dating apps, queer dating, etc, and it’s so frustratingly depersonalized. It’s very strange how the discourse tries to force dystopia instead of actually having a comprehensive view of how people feel. There’s a lot more truth in the way that you present dating than how someone tries to dissect it in a thinkpiece.

Yeah, thinkpieces are weird. I love to read them, but I also don’t know how helpful they are a lot of the time. Especially when they try to draw a definitive statement. In some things, sure, that makes sense.

Like in a college thesis, where you’re forced to come to a resolution for your life, pretty much.

What was your experience working at a college newspaper?

Basically, I came to college, and I was on the media floor--and basically what I thought that meant was cross-genre. But in reality, what it meant was journalism. And then I thought, you know, okay, it’s fine. I thought it was interesting. And so I almost went to join the newspaper as a writer and interviewer, I did a few articles. But a rule was that if you were a writer for them, you couldn’t be interviewed. And that was my biggest problem with it--I knew I wanted to do art. I knew that I wanted to get press. I didn’t want to prevent that from happening.

Right after I came out my freshman year, this guy on my floor was like, “do you want to talk about being gay at IU?” And I was like uh….sure! It was weird because it was my first time being interviewed for something real, and I was talking about being gay. But I was also trying to sneak a pitch for my website while doing it, I was like...go watch it! They promptly cut that out of the interview, though.

Good effort, tho.

I didn’t love that environment. I wasn’t taken with it. I started volunteering at a local radio station where I did stories about lots of things. That was much more interesting and fulfilling than the college newspaper. And my friend was like, “do you want to be columnist--we need one.” Not because I was special or anything, because they really needed one. And I was like, “sure.” So I started writing these extremely leftist columns, like “capitalism is the devil, and here’s why : )”

And I wrote one that was like, “nudity in art isn’t porn,” which isn’t even an extreme opinion. But I started getting all of these comments like, “Counterpoint: nudity in art isn’t not porn.” I was just like wow, I can tell that you really read this column….

People just read titles a lot of times.

Yeah for sure. Our campus was filled with a lot of views of all extremes, and not just anarchists. We also had a militant white supremacist population on campus. There were a bunch of protests from that group over the course of years--it wasn’t just one year, or just this year, which was definitely the worse than the years before. I also got tons of hateful comments from white supremacist groups on my articles. So I was just one of the people on the receiving end of those comments.

But as far as my involvement in the newspaper group itself, I think I only attended one meeting. I didn’t really feel a sense of community at IU that a lot of people there felt. I think a lot of people looked down on what I did because it was so personal. It wasn’t like I was talking about music, or like I was talking about hard-hitting stories. So I wasn’t really a part of the “IU JOURNALISM COMMUNITY.” But it wasn’t like I really wanted to be. I would still sometimes get people who appreciated my work, that came up to me and said “I love this, I love what you’re doing,” but they were usually queer people.

Which is definitely the desired reaction, which is awesome. Talking about your webseries “Idle Cosmopolitan” -- what was your favorite audience, or your favorite venue that you showed it to? And what was that sort of reaction and vibe like?

I wasn’t at all of the screenings. It showed at Bloomington at Planet Nine--which is this small VHS rental/DVD rental video place that kind of reminds me of Ghost World or something. I wasn’t there, but a lot of my friends were there, since it was my home for so many years. I assume it went well. From the pictures, I saw that it went well, at least.

It showed at Sarah Lawrence, which I know very little about how that went. I wanted to be there, but I was scheduled at work. Which is a whole thing about how I’m not a full-time artist. I say that I’m a freelance artist, which means that I make MAYBE 50 bucks a month off of my art. If it’s a good month! So I can’t always go to everything that’s happening. It’s an interesting part about being an artist in this landscape. People expect you to be global, and there’s only so global you can be if you’re working class. Which I think is important to be transparent about. It’s not always fun to be transparent about that, but it’s important.

Exactly, you want to be honest about it, but you want to portray yourself as larger-than-life-to get attention, and at least the semblance of clout (whatever that fcking means). But being an artist, you’re a part of a community, and you want to treat that community well. You don’t want to stunt and act like you’re making a living off of your art when you’re not.

It’s not cool to lie one way or the other. It’s not cool to portray yourself as a poor person if you’re not, and I’m not super poor or anything, but I’m not living off of my artwork, and I make a decent living off of my work as a childcare worker. But yeah, you shouldn’t lie because you’re fooling yourself and making art seem elitist.

There’s the lie by omission, in a way. A lot of people are internet famous, or have a certain persona that makes people say “Oh, I want to be like this person, who so clearly lives off of their artwork.” When in reality, it’s probably a side hustle at best.

Or they live with their parents. Or they have rich parents.

It distorts people’s dreams and plans--it’s important to be responsible about that.

Totally. One show I was at physically was at Secret Project Robot, at this festival of poets, and my videos were showing between poets that were reading their work. So that was interesting---I was the only video artist at the show. And as many things as I have tried--I have written poems, but I’ve never called myself a “poet.” So I thought that was kind of cool to have that multimedia experience, to see my videos projected really large in front of a big crowd of 20 or 30 people. Which doesn’t seem like a lot, but it’s actually a lot. I remember thinking wow, the crowds are gonna be so big in New York. And they are! But 20 or 30 people is a lot for DIY art. Even if you’re successful, or internet famous--it’s hard to gather a crowd wherever you are.

And it was really cool because people who were actually in the video got to see it, which was cool! Chariot is in it, and he was there, so that’s cool.

There was one livestream and q&a in the UK, which was really cool. And that was my favorite, because the moderator was super smart and always asked good question about the fantasy genre, and its intersections with queerness. It was refreshing instead of questions like-- “Why are you gay? Why is this here?” It was a good convo to have beyond the surface level.

It’s awesome that I saw so many showings of your series was in Indianapolis, in Indiana. You may not see a big crowd--DIY art isn’t an Ariana Grande concert--but What you do see is how it sort of transforms the room, and creates a living space, a community. 20 people is a community. Especially in Indiana.

Right, there’s very established artists and documentarians where the only place they have more than 20 people show up is in their hometowns. Even world-renowned documentarians may struggle to get an audience. Which is awful. But I think that one thing that is happening in the real world is that there are plenty of people I look up to, who are famous, whose twitter gets pretty very few likes! And they may have a huge amount of followers! And I’m like--why am I getting more likes than world-renowned feminist scholars? I think that’s happening in real life too. These people are having talks and showings of their work and sometimes DIY work is a different experience and maybe draws more people than these professional pieces, and there’s a community of people who can see themselves in that as artists.

I agree, it definitely changes the dynamic for people are used to when it comes to art, you think there’s the artist and this huge invisible wall and then there’s the observer, and it breaks down that dynamic.

Right, it changes the power dynamic. The artist isn’t a preacher. What we’ve seen in DIY venues is, everybody is sitting in chairs. The artist is in the front, but everyone is on the same level. There isn’t a stage to walk down from.

I think people are only starting to observe this change, and aren’t sure what to call it yet. Some people see changes like this as the death of something, like the death of some kind of empire of how art works. But especially with this project, I think I’ve not only been an optimist, but a realist in the sense that it’s for the better. So many people are screaming “death to media! Death to print!” and I’m just over here like, “You’re a Baby Boomer, please don’t talk to me.”

Ha! Right. These media aren’t dead, but they’re definitely dying. But I think they’re going to be dying for a while to come. People broadcasting the death of all of these things---like, they’re not dead yet. The Met is gonna be in trouble, but the Met is gonna be around for the next 100 years. The Met’s not just gonna crumble.

Going back to “Idle Cosmopolitan”--I love how it’s a series of very short films. And by short, I mean like, slightly longer than a Vine length. And some people may come across that and immediately compare the series to Vine culture, but my immediate thought was comparing it to poetry, with a lot of tightly-wound content being fit into a small space. So I was wondering how poetry influences your visual work, or how visual work influences your poetry, etc.

That’s interesting. I actually originally applied to go to college for poetry. I never called myself a poet, but I did think about it for a while. When I do write poetry, it’s usually about nature, and viewing nature through the lens of divinity and power dynamics. Which I think is definitely a big part of my video work. The “Queer World” in my piece is a forest. Somebody was talking to me recently, and said that “I think it’s interesting that the queer world is a forest. Do you think of urban spaces as, like, not-as-queer spaces?” I hadn’t really thought about that. But whenever I think of that sort of the afterlife, I don’t think of cities. And what’s our other option, really? Nature. An ocean would be a terrifying destination for the afterlife. I think that poetry is super important, I think when I’m writing anything, I tend towards a lyrical, poetic style. I love hard facts, but I was never super into Hemingway. I always loved the Great Gatsby. Not that I like showy, hyper-stylized stuff; I hated the Great Gatsby movie. But the suggestion of artifice, the suggestion of things like that, I think is really interesting.

There’s ton of talk about heaven and nature and sin in “Idle Cosmopolitan.” I’m sure it comes from a long line of being raised in Christianity, and having read all of the Christian classics. And as a kid, I was obsessed with the apocalypse. Once, I was between 6-9 I remember looking at clocks in restaurants and thinking, “Could this be the hour of the end?” I remember being super into Revelations, and the ghost stories that my friends and I would tell each other, and often confusing them as the same thing.

I think that’s a form of poetry true, a strange, mental form of poetry. I think the afterlife is poetic, because there’s no concrete that you can provide.

I think in terms of modality, I think I’m always writing in the form of the poetic, even if I’m not writing a poem. Even my column--it’s not a how-to column, it’s not a safari.

It’s not MTV Cribs!

Right! Definitely more reflections.

I always thought of videos sort of in musician terms, like “this is my new album---Idle Cosmopolitan.” This is the tracklist, and each has a poetic name, etc. And each year, there’s a self-image overhaul….well, there’s no image overhaul for me this year, but especially in college I was into that idea, where I wanted to amp myself up every year.

But this iteration, for me, was trying to marry these poetic ideals with my own lived experiences, to make it sort of autobiographical, but still have a flourish. I mean, I was watching Twin Peaks when I was working on it.

Yeah, I can definitely see that influence in there. Where there’s that magic-realism, but it’s so mundane. The suspension of disbelief is so well-dissolved into it.

Right as I was starting to write this, I just finished the season of Veronica Mars---I’m not sure if it directly influenced it…

But it was there

Yeah, and watching Twin Peaks: the Return. What I thought was interesting about it was its formal elements. There was this sort of suspension of disbelief present for both the characters and the audience. So then you’re just like, “Yeah, queer spirits! That makes sense!” So, it’s that magic realism that is super appealing. And also the fact that it’s episodic. One of the things about David Lynch that I’m really into is the episodic nature of his work. There’s this loose play with time and narrative, and it’s an experience.

I think what Lynch talks a lot about, especially in later seasons, is agency. But in Sex and the City, for example--Carrie isn’t a bad person, but she’s not necessarily a good person either. She has affairs, runs around doing whatever she wants, she tries to take a break from dating and has a guilt complex where she feels bad about her actions, and also places guilt on other people--it’s complex, which I think is interesting.

Like chaotic neutral, but a little more complex than that?

Yeah, definitely. I’m obsessed with people who are chaotic neutral. I don’t think I’m chaotic neutral, but I’m fascinated by that those people exists.

I’m a super-intense Virgo, Type A, Blair Waldorf type. I definitely pride myself on hard work--which could be problematic--but I have that crawl-my-way-to-the-top sort of vibe.

This character in the webseries, they’re sort of neutral. They’re a relationship writer, but it doesn’t seem like a main part of their personhood. The only thing that they seem mad about is when their boyfriend breaks up with them, which is fair. But they don’t seem to be making many choices, and there’s something very sidekick about that.

I was in this space in my life where I was having to make all these intense decisions--deciding to move to New York, having to make all of these choices about who I wanted to be as a person. The character is the exact opposite, where there’s no movement. There’s a movement in narrative, a movement in place, but it kind of happens to them.

They get a letter, a pep talk from Fate--and they’re just like, “Sure, whatever, I don’t care.” Then they enter the queer world, and they’re like “Alright.” And then the Blue Spirit is the one who was like, “No, this wasn’t actually a good choice.” And they’re like, “Okay, sure.” They never really doubt people’s motives.

There’s a sort of guilt about making choices that Type A people have. Inevitably, if you’re a type A perosn, you’re going to hurt people. Even if you’re not actually hurting them, you’re going to make choices, and choices affect people. There’s winners and losers. So what does it mean for the sort of stoner archetype, this chaotic neutral archetype, when they don’t make choices?

I’ve never been a chill person, so I gravitate towards writing characters that are like that. Because I’m always wondering….what does that feel like?

Right! I feel like it takes a lot of effort to be chill, which isn’t chill. It’s kind of a self-consuming concept. I’m not gonna say it’s the only real binary, but…

Haha, right! Ok back to influences. Actually, as far as the soundtrack goes, I’ve gotten a lot of feedback where people say it reminds them of Sex and the City, and that it’s derivative. Actually, one person said that the soundtrack reminds them of Rugrats….

Stop!!!

Right!? Well, it’s jazz, but it’s sort of this chaotic jazz.

It’s a typical theme song in a lot of ways, but it’s disarming. Which I like.

Some people said it makes them anxious.

It offsets the perceived chill in the series, which signals you to look harder.

Watching it back, I was like...something is wrong. Narratively, there’s something up. But I’m not sure if that thing ever gets hashed out or resolved, it just sort of hangs like a dark cloud.

Which is what’s so great about poetry. There’s always that lack of resolution. People always get angry at that, where they want to feel satisfied...where’s the sequel at??

Do they get the girl or not??

Yeah! It’s how we’re taught to view life. But especially with creative people, it’s paradoxical--they only thing that makes them (us) feel satisfied is poetry, that sort of form that leaves things unresolved.

Totally.

How has the internet shaped your writing?

The internet is definitely fucked up. It was created by the military, and is now owned by billionaires. That’s already strike one. But let’s assume that the internet is also provides a space that provides more access for more people. But it doesn’t provide equal access for everybody. It provides equal access for a relatively small amount of people. You have to afford a computer, internet access--and even if you go to the library, you have to afford to be there.

But let’s say it does level the playing field in that way---even still, people don’t have more of a chance of getting their art noticed because of it. It does mean more people can put their stuff out there, but it doesn’t guarantee more viewers, or more fans, or some utopia.

The internet has become this neoliberal promise of equality. This reveals itself in every aspect---who dominates media, who dominates internet celebrity, etc. This doesn’t discount the fact that there’s fantastic DIY spaces based on the internet, but there’s a lot being overlooked.

The internet as a structure is racist, sexist, homophobic, and transphobic. Even if we go back to technology like photography, for example, it was a technology developed to best depict white faces. It’s so great that the internet creates a platform for people, but that includes creating platforms for neo-nazis on 4chan, for alt-righters to doxx people. The web is pretty fucked up, and it amplifies our greatest strengths, like community. Especially the trans community, which is so important. But it also amplifies our problems, and reveals where we need to grow.

I don’t think the internet is the devil, but I think it makes it harder for people to feel like human beings. It mirrors capitalism, and degrades human beings in so many ways where we’re expected to become a brand, which is always tied to capitalism. We’re forced to reduce ourselves to something bite-sized, which is troubling me as a person and as an artist.

When did u start writing and being creative?

I was always drawing. I was super into Pokemon and all the Nintendo games. I was into anything cute and well-designed, like Zelda, and anything involving world-building. I was super into maps, and at a young age, I thought, “I wanted to do that.”

At a young age, I wanted to be a pop star. And I made the boys in the neighborhood be my band. Now I’m thinking that was sort of a strong signal of me being gay, haha. Boys---you’re gonna be in this band, and I’m gonna sing Breakout by Miley Cyrus.

I started getting really into bands. I was really into Coldplay, and I wanted to be Chris Martin.

STOP, ME TOO

I really liked “Clocks.”

ME TOO, when I first heard that, I was like, Now….that’s what I call music.

I also really liked “Lovesong” by Sara Bareilles, which is entirely different, but I was also like...that’s what I call music. Also Paramore and Deathcab, and I was like…..this is also Music. I still love all this stuff

I still listen to all this stuff pretty much on the regular, even though I laugh about it Yeah! And at the time, all of these things were coded as feminine. Even Coldplay, which was, not a boyband, but kind of more healing.

Right, like ~emotional boys~, ~soft boys~, this sort of soft masculinity before it was talked about and memed.

I went from wanting to be a popstar, to wanting to be in bands, to wanting to do comics, and then I was like...I want to be painter! I did a lot of paintings, and then I wanted to be an actor. I was fixated on stardom, on theater. I was in all the plays of my freshman year.

Then I moved schools, and this guy who didn’t even like me and stopped talking to me, but I liked him---I wrote this psycho-opera about him. It was all songs about him, and it was super awkward. I recorded an album about him. He started being nice to me, and then I was just like…...here’s an album…

I was like, that was fun, but then I started to getting into Wes Anderson. And Woody Allen, but #WORST. And then Godard, which was better. Then I started making movies. And I saw 30 Rock, and it confirmed what I wanted to do.

I love how you go from Godard to 30 Rock

I know!! I was very all over the map. Then I started watching more experimental films and wild stuff, so it’s been a journey to where I’m at now.

The wrapping up portion, something I ask at the end of every interview...this is actually the first interview I’ve done that’s over the phone, an actual physical conversation. And the form of how I’ve conducted each interview has really affected it.

How would you describe the future of literature in a tweet-length? Or a sort of verbal tweet length, also tweets are longer now so….yeah….

Smaller.

#nb carrie bradshaw #lit #futurelit #publishing #books #writing #spilled ink #becky ebben #idle cosmopolitan #trans monogamist #queer #grace byron

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cosmiquealiene · 2 years

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DNIs be like...

😤 Don't interact with ME if you're a...

Narcissist

Anglophile

SMURF

Hydrophobe

Gigot

Aphid

Pro-Fanity

No-Mage

Monogamist

Tradwife Exclusionary Radiator

Anti-Septic Cream

Insect Supporter

Trumpeter

Fugitive

Gatecrasher

Pondscum

Bull-tamer

Or if you like IRREDEEMABLE MEDIA! 😱 Such as...

Beauty And The Beast (Promotes bestiality - GASP!)

Pirates Of The Caribbean (Promotes piracy! Also, the ride it's based on is PROBLEMATIC!)

Star Wars original trilogy (The villain is black! And all the heroes are white! Well, except for Lando. Ignore him.)

Lord Of The Rings (The orcs are clearly meant to represent black people...after all, they're complete savages!)

Transformers (Appropriation of the "trans" suffix, therefore transphobic.)

Gremlins (Promotes "anti-MOGWAI" sentiments.)

Anything with J.K. Simmons (His initials sound too much like J.K. Rowling.)

OK, OK, I'll be serious now... 😂

I could give a detailed spiel of why I find DNI lists to be stupid and ineffective, but I think these two posts sum it up best...

Besides being inefficient, another reason I dislike DNIs is because they often include...really stupid and specific things, promoting fandom purity culture. Also, in this day and age the meanings of words ending in "ist" and "phobe" have been significantly watered down. So, who actually meets the criteria on your CARRD? What if you mistakenly labelled somebody an istaphobe purely for liking a piece of media that contains some questionable elements? Isn't that a form of bullying? I thought you didn't like "bullies or meanies"... 🤔

In short, it's better to accept that there is no foolproof way of creating a "magical barrier" online against sex offenders, unpleasant people and those you disagree with. It's better to learn to be street-smart online rather than childishly expect a DNI to keep you safe.

#funny #satire #fandom purity culture

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polyamproud · 3 years

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Few things we should make clear: ☝️ We listed some of the many ways in which polyamorous and non-monogamous people face discrimination and stigma in our post on june 21. If you haven’t looked at that, please do. ✌️ It sucks having to justify one’s belonging. This commenter is essentially demanding proof of polyamory’s queer+ pedigree. You don’t need a certification to have a pride flag, nor to bring one to pride, nor to be at pride. 🤟 Some in the lgbtqia+ community don’t want polyamory involved in pride because in their estimation 1) our recognition and visibility will dilute or reduce theirs and 2) if people who choose polyamory can be present at pride, queerness and pride will become less legitimate. ✌️✌️ Polyamory and non-monogamy are an affront to an existing and pervasive sociocultural standard. An unbelievable majority of media is created with monogamy as a systemic default, and with deviations from that default as immoral, or worse. Living polyamorously by choice or by nature parallels and exists within the larger queer experience that pushes against inherited convention and seeks acceptance. 🖐 As polyamorous people, we must continue to champion the voices of the unheard. if you identify as polyamorous and do not stand at the intersection of other underrepresented, underserved, or oppressed identities. Be cognizant and thoughtful of the way you wield that privilege. This community is much bigger than you.

~image description below~

[Image Description: A set of 6 images. All text is in lowercase letters.

Image 1: An image with a black background. At the top of the image is big, bold white text which reads “let’s unpack this.” Beneath it is a screenshot of a comment, with the commentor’s name censored by a pink box. The comment is in black text and reads “you don’t need a pride flag. the lgbtqia isn’t a fun club to join, if you’re poly and lgbtq it’s not because you’re poly- it’s because you’re a gay/lesbian/bi/ace person. stop. i find this to be deeply transphobic and homophobic. you, people who have CHOSEN a non monogamous lifestyle, are designing a “pride flag” i’m sorry, do you even understand why lgbtq people have pride in the first place? the holocaust, pulse, the event in the 50′s when the american government tracked down quee people, and gender/sexuality based murders are our reason for pride. we are excluded from society for something we do not choose to be. the bible and religion is used against us. there are laws currently in place to harm lgbtq people. you do not face oppresion for being polyamorous. you should all be very fucking ashamed of yourselves, but you won’t be.” At the bottom right of the screenshot is a curved pink arrow pointing to the right towards the next image. Below the arrow is the “@polyamproud” watermark and the polycule symbol beside it in pink.

Image 2: An image with a white background. At the left side is big bold, left-aligned black text which reads “we’ve said this before, but we’ll say it again.” Beneath it is smaller, thin black text which reads “our struggle for legal protection and destigmatization is not at all the same as that of the lgbtqia+ community, nor especially of BIPOC.” At the right side of the image is a screenshot of one of our earlier posts going over why polyamorists need a pride flag. The screenshot is that of an image with a black background with a gray polycule pattern in the background. The main focus lies on the text explaining everything in the middle which features big white text which reads “Polyamorists are a privileged group.” In the middle of the image, to the left side of the image is a thick pink, vertical line. To the right of the line is pink text which reads “polyamorous and non-monogamous people - especially white, cisgender, male polyams - are fortunate.” Beneath it is white text which reads “we do not face the level of violence perpetrated against so many of our siblings of color and underrepresented identities in the queer, trans, and broader LGBTQIA+ communities.” At the bottom of the screenshot is part of the caption of the post which is in black text and reads “polyamproud - tag someone that needs to hear this...” Beneath the screenshot is a pink box extending from the left side of the image to the right side of the image. Inside the box is bold white text which reads “and”, immediately followed by bold black text which reads “it is still valid.” At the bottom right of the image is the “@polyamproud” watermark and the polycule symbol beside it in pink. Next to it is pink text which reads “2/6”, indicating the image number.

Image 3: An image with a pink background and a big pastel pink circle at the right side of the image which is slightly cut off at the right side. At the left side of the image is a thin, vertical white line, taking up about half the image. At the top of the image is a black box extending from the left. Inside the box is big bold, left-aligned white text which reads “let’s start with what we don’t know.” Beneath it is smaller, bold balc text which reads “the current academic consensus about polyamory ans non-monogamy is that”, followed by italicized text which reads “some”, followed by more text which reads “see it as intrinsic to their nature, adn that”, followe by italicized text which reads “some”, followed by more text which reads “see it as a choice.” Beneath it is more black text which reads “so, in fairness to this commenter, we don’t know for sure whether people who do and will fly the flag of polyamory are non-monogamous by nature.” At the bottom right is white text which reads “3/6”, indicating the image number. Beneath it is some small black text with the letters spaced out from one another which reads “however”. To the right of it is a black arrow pointing towards the right. At the bottom left of the image is the “@polyamproud” watermark and the polycule symbol beside it in black.

Image 4: An image with a black background. At the middle right side of the image is a pink circle, which is slightly cut off at the right side. At the top of the image is big bold, left-aligned white text which reads “the origin of your polyamory is irrelevant to your right to.” Followed by some bold black text which overlaps with the pink circle which reads “exist.” Beneaht the text, to the left side of the image, is a thin, vertical pink line which is as long as the bottom half of the image. Next to the line is small bold, left-aligned white text which reads “whether you were born polyamorous or you’ve found your way to this community through investigation and exploration fo yourself, you deserve the right to be treated as a human being.” At the bottom right of the image is a pink arrow pointing to the right. Beneath it is the “@polyamproud” watermark and the polycule symbol beside it in pink. Next to it is white text which reads “4/6”, indicating the image number.

Image 5: An image with a black background as well as wall of gray text. The text in the background is made up of many different exclusionary lines for many different sexualities and gender identities. On top of this, in the middle of the image is a black square at a lower opacity. In this square is big bold, centered pink text which reads “polyamorists are not the only recipients of this uninformed, exclusionary discourse. At the bottom of the square is a small “@polyamproud” watermark and the polycule symbol beside it in light gray.

Image 6: An image with a black background. At the bottom right of the image is the pink outline of a hand with painted nails and a nail polish brush floating above it alongside some sparkles. At the top of the image is big bold, left-aligned white text which reads “we may not be fighting against our oppression.” Beneath it is smaller, bold pink text which reads “but we are fighting for acceptance.” Beneath it is small, thin white text which reads “by choice or by nature, we love who and how we love. and, on behalf of polyamorists and non-monogamists everywhere, we’d like to thank this commenter for reaffirming our mission.” Slightly beneath it is more text which reads “this is exactly why we’re working so hard. to increase our visibility and grow awareness of polyamory and ethical non-monogamy through the use of a new and inclusive pride flag.” At the bottom left of the image is the “@polyamproud” watermark and the polycule symbol beside it in pink.

End ID.]

#polyam #polyamorous #polyamory #polyam pride #polyamorous pride #pride #polyamory pride #polyam flag #polyam pride flag #polyamorous pride flag #polyamorous flag #pride flag #lgbt #ethical non monogamy #non monogamy

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