#today me birth now :]
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(original video)
#kinda on my way to work already....I have to work while she gives birth today?!#oh wait...just because I saw my future niece does not mean that she will arrive today...why do I think it's today?! Now I'm nervous#sleep token#sleep token worship#sleep token gif#I just made that...It's shitty but I never do stuff like that so forgive me
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sorry for reblogging fugly trends from 2012 it's for my enrichment
#have i ever told u guys about my early 2010s fashion and pop culture fixation#i got a gen you ine aeropostle skirt recently ive never been happier#also gonna try and get my hands on some freshtops tanks#eventually#also their shorts though ive only found one secondhand listing in my size#i need the naked1 pallet or i'll die#its funny to me because like#yes within fashionblogging and lifestyle teen youtube girls from that era#consummerism was a massive thing (it still is but its so obvious when you look at blog archives and videos from that era)#youtubers with non disclosed sponsorships#bethany mota and amanda steele vaguely saying “this brand sent me this product to give to you guys!”#it was really just watching the birth of what we know as influencers today and its really interesting to me#theres a lack of cuts theres a lack of scripting theres long tangents#people were only just then realizing you can make money via haul videos and makeup tutorials#bethany mota had a fashion line at aeropostle purely because of her status as a youtuber#there was a big rise at the time of people being against flaunting overpriced designer during that time because of the recession#but there was still a hugggeee hold with consumerism and classism#hauls with brandy and f21 and ae like i cant afford that im sure you cant afford $600 at american eagle on a weekly basis#i have lots of thoughts idk#anyways backtracked#i think its funny because here i am talking about how horribly i need b&bw and vs pink#but like its all secondhand shit for $15 online now#nobody wants this stuff!!!!!! cycles!!! capitalism!!!! i dont know you get what i mean!!!!!!!!!!!#skyler posting
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everyday i wake up and have to start a new boss challenge called dealing with my mother
#not a single speck of consideration for whether or not i'm busy or tired or sleeping#she doesn't even TRY. the text is too small? ok i'll make it bigger. but wait now she's lazy to read. doesn't even want to try to understan#we had this whole thing yesterday where she was raising her voice at me bc she didn't get that#basically free shipping if products r over $500. our Total (incl. delivery) was $488 and she wanted to add on but i told her no... delivery#is $70. and she wasnt getting me so she was raising her voice like holy shittt not everything has to result in you yelling!!!!#you wake me up when i'm sleeping just to help you. you disturb me when i'm studying omggg girl please....#i remember her [ why does it say– what transaction? i didn't make any transaction ] the text was literally-#[ no current transaction history ] smth like that like MOTHER???????????? and i think she's been telling my sister i'm complaining abt it#should i die. 1 like i'll do it#power outage started so i'm going to stay in my room and nap until lunch fml#but i have to go out and help my mom with an app thing first bc ofc#she admits shes just not bothered to READ. when it comes to emails or ordering food or anything like ohvm mymgodog#and shes so short tempered fuckkk ?!?#AH. EDIT BC I REMEMBERED. when she got an email today.. her application was rejected#for smth smth. anyways it told her she could login to the website using her birth info. (e.g 1870....) and she was like#u typed something wrong bc why does it say 1870... LIKE MOTHER ITS AN EXAMPELREFKWKSABHAHHHHH#THE EXAMPLE DIDNT EVEN HAVE HER NAME?!?£#💭#cw rant#negative
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#very bad no good day today and it's only noon#went to change the name & gender on my id card and i couldn't#they told me they didn't have my information to do it#that i had to go to the same office where i changed my birth certificate#bitch what the hell! they don't change id cards there!!!#urge to kill kill murder someone rising 📈📈#excellent communication & teamwork in the public administration in this country👏#idk what to do now#try again in a different office i guess#personal#delete later
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I lower my expectations for friendships with every repeated experience for the sake of not losing the few people i have in my life, i dont know how much lower i can get before i lose my dignity
#sorry. ass fucking day. hate my birthdays so bad#for the first time today i wished that my birthday was unknown like how it is for my parents bc they were born in villages#& their birth was registered many months later with an inaccurate birthday & now no one knows#at least then i'd have one burden lifted off of me#man whatever i need like five days to pass i want to get as far from today as i can just. want september to end at least#nesi rants
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#Elena of Avalor#Gabriel Nunez#Gabe Nunez#Gifs#I'll never leave this fandom completely apparently so here's a random gifset of Gabe's faces#I always wanted to gif his expression in 'The Curse Of El Guapo' he's just so peaceful there it makes me extremely emotional#I got a random idea that I want to make a gifset in honour of Gabe's birthday but I need to wait for months so I made it today#(he has no official birth date it's just me headcanoning it in January so ignore it)#I also finally found all episodes in decent quality so my gifs look much prettier now!#(I think so at least)
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BIRFEDDAY
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Also Merry Christmas!! (Almost)
WOO MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JESUS WHOOPEE!!!
#(this ask was sent on Christmas Eve you guys I just didn’t get to it until now!!)#ask#cradle tag#YESSSSSSSSSS#today was Good very good#OH WAIT CRADLE#HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE SHEPHERD#IT’S A SHORT FILM MADE BY DALLAS JENKINS#AND IT’S REALLY GOOD#IT’S ABOUT#WELL IT’S ABOUT A SHEPHERD#AND IT’S BASICALLY HIS POV OF JESUS’ BIRTH#AND IT’S REALLY FREAKING BEAUTIFUL#AND THE MUSIC GAHHHHHHHHH#it made me just the slightest bit Insane in such a good way#ohhhh it’s good#anyway! I was wondering if you’d seen/heard of that before :0
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i want to go home and get high i am in so much pain holy shit periods should be illegal
#tmi in tags#but ive always had a heavy flow#like not concerning so#but like definitely heavy#and it had been less so recently (especially since i got off birth control and until i found out about my iron deficiency I thought it was#left over hormones or something). but turns out it was just my body compensating for the iron deficiency (which is either my body being#awesome or me being super iron deficient cause generally that doesn’t seem like how it works)#but anyway im doing better on the iron but apparently that means that not just my heavy flow but my like INTENSE period pain is back#both my legs are killing me and nausea and a bit of a headache#I just generally feel like im dying#and i generally have just gotten worse at dealing with pain cause im i. less of it now which is both good and bad lol#but like this genuinely a lot of it like this is on par with how my periods used to be lol#but i have three classes today including my three hour class#so like. i need to stay functioning#im supposed to be writing a paper and reading shit#and instead I’m just#staring off into space mentally screaming#there’s a bird though I’ve decided we’re friends#im going to at least two of my classes#one i might skip even though it’s my favorite and the professor has already knocked my grade down 10% for not attending#im gonna talk to her cause i have attendance accomodations#and ive only missed when i accidentally sedated myself and when i went to see my mom cause i was scared i was gonna kill myself if i didn’t#so i feel like those two days plus today when im dying are valid reasons#and if i have another day i missed that i forgot about then like i feel like there should be at least one unexcused absence allowed and if#there isn’t im gonna argue with her cause wtf#anyway#booms bad days#if birth control hadn’t made me suicidal I would say I’d want to go back on it lmao
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you ever get so depressed that you just stare at a wall for 6 hours
#.bdo#nothing is entertaining#i keep opening tumblr then closing it bc I'm just mindlessly scrolling not paying attention#tried watching a show and got nothing out of it#it's all bc i can't stop thinking about whether or not D will call me today#and the hormones from my new birth control don't help#running out of pain medication doesn't help either#it just sucks bc any time I'm going thru something that's hurting me I feel like I just pressed a reset button on a lot of my progress#and I don't really wanna actually talk to someone about this bc I'll start bawling#on the bright side my mom gave me a hug today after she found me crying#that's not a usual thing she does she usually tells me to suck it up#I just wanna do stuff but I can't get myself to do anything it's hard to even get up and pee#anyway my mom is letting me drink her wine now that it's been 8 hours since I took my anxiety meds (did not help)#that at least got me to stop staring at the fuckin wall
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#today was bad and I just discovered MORE body horrors (woooo pre-op stopping of birth control)#(it turns out! that when you take birth control to help manage your hormone levels bc you have PCOS! and then you stop taking it!)#(the symptoms return!!!!!!!!!!)#but!#after many hours of doing nothing#I got up and cleaned my water bottle AND I also dug up my earbuds charger and plugged them in#so I can use them on my commute again#also I can’t sleep despite being sososo sleepy#I’m gonna go throw my head into a pillow now#and hope that tomorrow is better#dear universe please let my students not accuse me of living out a slaveowner fantasy by simply asking them to sit down in a chair#and also please maybe let my body stop hurting so bad 👉🏻👈🏻 just as a little treat#eventually I need a better job and a birth control implant and some fun little beverages from like CVS#but for tomorrow I’ll settle for that#my stuff
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to be loved is to be changed etc etc featuring the stray cat we've been feeding for 4 years
#i cant believe she gave birth looking like that first cat. geez.#we have had her spayed but before we could catch her she gave birth to at least 9 kittens#my bro has 2 of them and 1 did not survive but the others a r e my housecats now.#and she lets my mom and pet her now too#😭 dont mind me im just very emotional about her today
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the way tiktok rots ppls brains is SO embarrassing. a friend of mine will sometimes bring up some shit she heard off that site and i have to bite my tongue to not be like "that doesn't even sound remotely real"
#never forgetting when we somehow got on the topic of eminem in call#and ppl were (tbh rightfully) ragging his newer rapping style bc he lost it after sobering up#and she mentioned how all he talks abt is getting canceled#and it was so obvious that was just some stupid gen z ''i've never listened to eminem and think this is what this yt man raps about'' joke#and as the resident eminem enjoyer it took everything in me to not go#girl he raps about current events and politics now#like maybe I'M wrong bc i haven't listened to curtain call 2 but i forced myself to listen to music to get murdered to bc i was curious#and wanted to see if he got better (spoiler: not really) and not once did he bring up getting canceled#ne ways today she mentioned wanting to get off birth control#bc she saw ppl on tt saying that getting off ''made them realize they were gay''#and i'm pretty sure some parts of my brain liquidized and leaked outta my skull#like twitter and tiktok really made ppl lose some critical thinking skills#niyah.txt
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soooo sick of companies acting like they dont make 1 million dollars every millisecond and that sharing your membership with your friends is bankrupting them
#my mom gave me her credit card bc i was going to costco and she has the one where the membership is on the credit card#so like at self checkout u just scan the one and it's easy anyway today this old lady was working the self checkout and she called me to th#open one and she scanned the back of the card and she was like... hm. is she here with you? like to my moms picture on the back of the card#and i was like no that's my mom im using her credit card#and she stood there for like 15 seconds just thinking and i was like ??? until i realized she's literally not going to let me checkout lmao#so realizing that i was like oh. i have my own card but it's on the same membership like we have the family plan thing#and she's like yes. you have to use your own card. so she scans mine and then im paying with my moms credit card at the machine thing#and she looks at me and she goes. they arent transferrable.#like lady what the hell is it your business if my mom wants me to go to the store and use her credit card like#i already told u we're on the same membership and it's my mom like we have the same last name u want me to whip out my birth certificate ?#so now literally family members. who live together even. cant go to the store for each other like. ok
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Imagine being so insecure in your own identity that you start literally gatekeeping your gender
#lol i woke up today and my aunty had made a post like#'I love trans people BUT if you're a trans woman then you're NOT a woman you are a TRANS woman'#'calling yourself a woman is INVALIDATING the IDENTITY of REAL WOMAN'#'i gave birth and breastfed my children bc I am a WOMAN and you didn't so you're a TRANS woman'#like girl both of those kids you birthed are trans and closeted#and they are rightfully afraid to tell you because they know you'll react poorly#this is not the boast you think it is#it's just transphobic LMAO#cw transphobia#also to my friends dw this isn't one of the aunties you always hear me talk about#although one of them is a jk rowling apologist and the other is. well. interesting.#but they're both good trans allies#we have a family 'girls only' group chat we use mostly for discussing periods and tmi pregnancy stuff etc#anything we don't want the guys to see really#and as soon as they found out my sister was trans they added her to that gc (AS THEY SHOULD!!)#anyway#yes I am one of those people who writes one line and then puts the entire rest of the post in the tags thank you for noticing#but yes I'll stop rambling now ty and goodbye
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NO SERIOUSLY THE SMILE CAN BE SOMETHING SO SPECIAL... because the concept originates in violence, intended as a last resort when you're cornered, a psychological bluff that might give you the upper hand... so for Arakawa to be able to recontextualize that as part of how his family communicates (along the lines of what we've talked about with regard to their language) is really something.
Especially because like, while he has varying degrees of success instilling the concept into his men, it's pretty safe to say they would all know what a smile from him means, right? They're family to him. So if there's this mix of Arakawa starting to smile more around Jo subconsciously and Jo picking up on it, maybe there's this period of consciously pulling back and of not wanting to read too much into it, respectively...
But Eventually it's this wordless affirmation of Jo having a place in Arakawa's family. Maybe he can't really put it into words in a way that doesn't make Jo feel awkward (I mean, he can't even manage that with Ichiban, much less someone with issues around that as deep-seated as Jo's, right). But he can do that much.
And I know I KNOW this bitch never has any reasons to smile but if Jo ever smiled back..................................
Anyway. Happy birthday to your bro and I'm glad you had a good day yesterday! You deserve it :) Come to think of it, my dad was born in July... and my Bestie Group Chat (ft. my friend who initially encouraged me to get over myself and send you an ask lol) was founded on Tsutsumi's birthday...
THAT'S WHAT IM SAAAAYING LIKE FUCK MAN it can be something SO personal and something SO confusing at first so when everything Clicks....... bruvv.....
#snap chats#late to answering this SORRY was having a whole episode this morning#but yeah........ you get it...... its just a concept that makes me scream and i wanna do something with it SOOO bad.... drives me insane..#its just good... great even.... Literally So Personal and unique to them and ouuuugh#DEADASS jo aint ever got SHIT to smile bout... s'why them rare-as-all-hell smiles gotta be worth a million dollars#with that out of the way... For Now because it WILL stew in my brain forever..#july the day for EVERYONE god DAAAMN ironic as hell you made your group chat on his bday tho 😩#and speaking of bdays.... it is my bros bday today... and i feel like the biggest piece of shit （；´x｀）#i told him i was leaving and i wouldnt be back until. //gestures vaguely// and he was just What 🥺??#IM SORRY BRO IM SORRYYY it just wouldnt end well i know it and so now im feeling so conflictedd#BUT THEN IT STARTED RAINING and listen i dont. HEAVILY believe in superstition or things like that#but bro every time it rains SOMETHING bad happens so now im just lost#but thats a problem for me to work out. with my sis. cause ill prob text her and be sad about it#for now ima deal with this minor toothache i got bruh OW??#ow. todays a painful day. and its only going to get worse this month cause its also my MOMS birth month#SEE EVERYONE BORN IN JULY absolute nightmare of a month.#in any case. ive just been sitting in a parking lot so i should prooobably go somewhere so bye for now :]]
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