#to the point that I am just writing nonsense
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meme.
Gymnophoria - the sense that someone is mentally undressing you (cezhou)
@numinousdread .... im so sorry
He’s not used to waiting. But for Shen Zechuan, he will.
Xiao Chiye sits patiently within the glow of the hundreds of red silk lanterns that adorn the wall and ceiling of Shen Zechuan’s immodest dressing room. He’d spent a small fortune on them, and on the porcelain bowl full of lotus seed tangyuan in ginger broth he’d ordered expressly from the most renown pâtissier of the city. A gesture of some degree of grandeur, an attempt to impress the indifferent chanteur. Perhaps it’s a little too extravagant, he ponders belatedly as his eyes sweep the purview of his venture. But if there’s anyone who’d appreciate the theatricality of such a gesture, he trusts it would be an opera singer, surely.
In an effort to busy his anxious hands, Xiao Chiye reaches for the cup of exorbitantly expensive pu-erh tea he’d brought as well, prepared by Shen Zechuan’s attendant. A plume of steam unfurls when he removes the lid, a momentary distraction upon which he can direct his attention until it’s ripped away at the sound of the door opening. Shen Zechuan floats through the threshold with an unpurposed grace, followed by his dutiful attendant. Without thinking, Xiao Chiye straightens, sitting up properly, though he does not rise to greet him. They exchange a wordless nod, an acknowledgement that goes no further than that. Xiao Chiye knows that though he is a prince’s son, he belongs in this space only because Shen Zechuan has allowed him to.
Dressed in a plain robe of funereal white, Shen Zechuan is as silent as a specter as he approaches his vanity, methodically opens all his cosmetics, and alights upon his chair with the authority of an emperor upon a dragon throne. Xiao Chiye makes no move, even tries not to breathe too loudly, in utmost respect of the ritual before him.
Shen Zechuan paints the rice flour white across his brow with a wide brush, over his eyes, upon the swells and hollows of his sculpted cheeks, and finally over the petal-pink lips Xiao Chiye’s gaze delights in lingering upon. The exquisite features of his face are obscured in the opacity of the white, to his spectator’s curious disappointment. But vermillion is daubed upon his eyes, edges softened into a delicate haze and cut with an artful black liner to emphasize the elegance of his phoenix eyes. Eyes Xiao Chiye wishes once might glance his way.
Next comes the elm-soaked hair, woven in artful waves upon his brow, adorned with jeweled pins that glitter so assiduously in the candle’s light Xiao Chiye would hardly be surprised if they were true diamonds. His mind wanders for a moment, wondering what patron of his past or present might have been generous enough to gift such treasures….
Immediately he thinks of Li Jiangheng, his foremost rival in the attentions of the opera singer. And the only one he can think of with enough disposable income to make an empress of an entertainer. It incenses him, the thought of losing out. But less so than the devastation of losing him.
“...Viceroy?”
Xiao Chiye looks back to see Shen Zechuan glancing at him over the point of his shoulder, eyes lowered with an arresting demureness. “Sorry?” he asks, his attention now reverted to him.
“I asked if you didn’t have a sweetheart you’d rather be with tonight,” Shen Zechuan asks, reaching for another diamond pin. “It’s the Shangyuan Festival, after all.”
Xiao Chiye stands, rising slowly to his feet, walking purposefully over to Shen Zechuan’s side to pluck the pin from his hand. “I’m here, aren’t I?” he replies, his somber smile undisturbed even as Shen Zechuan attempts to snatch the pin back from his hands. Unsuccessfully.
He gestures obscurely to the walls around them, covered from floor to ceiling in giant red lanterns. “Since you couldn’t enjoy the festivities, I decided I’d bring the festivities to you.”
Shen Zechuan gives him a stern look that might have been frightening if it hadn’t been so lovely. Even under all that paint. Xiao Chiye lets his gaze linger upon the part of his pretty mouth, enchanted utterly by the sight of the clandestine pink tongue that peeks out behind the brazen crimson of his painted lips. Xiao Chiye wonders how hard a slap he’d receive if he caught him by his pale chin and thumbed away the red that hides away the pale pink of his lips from him.
Willowy fingers unfurl, palm extended in requisition of that stolen pin, demanding its return. But Xiao Chiye only taps the diamond head of the pin against his free hand. “Let me adorn you with it,” he offers instead.
Shen Zechuan huffs out a laugh with no edge of mirth to it, lowering his eyes once more to soften the inevitable blow. “I’m afraid you haven’t earned that right,” he says softly. “Even if I weren’t terrified at how crookedly you’d apply it.”
Shen Zechuan looks away, feigning a distraction to allow a moment for Xiao Chiye to regain his face, while amending the slight with the elegant rondeur of his cygnet throat bared for his perusal. It’s an ambiguous invitation at best, and yet Xiao Chiye hedges his bets upon the possibility, touching a careful fingertip to the fine hairs at the nape of that perfect, unpainted neck. Under his touch, he feels Shen Zechuan tense, though he doesn’t move as Xiao Chiye drags his fingertips down the valley of his spine, against the gentle protrusion of his bones.
And when he does, moving just out of range of that insouciant caress, Xiao Chiye snatches the edge of the collar back, only to be thwarted by the hand Shen Zechuan smooths over the nape of his neck, hiding it away from his wolfish eyes. “That is also not permitted,” he admonishes softly, but there is no mistaking the threat the lies between those words.
“Then tell me what is,” Xiao Chiye demands, as genteel as he can manage.
Shen Zechuan looks at him with exasperation. “You’ve earned nothing from me,” he explains simply, as though he were placating an unruly child.
Xiao Chiye’s eyes are intent on him as he moves closer, enough that Shen Zechuan can feel his tea-mild breath warm upon his brow. “I’ve brought a sky’s worth of lanterns to you,” he points out.
“And tanguyan fit for a noble’s tongue,” he adds, demonstrating both his understanding of Xiao Chiye’s efforts, as well as his indifference to it. “An entire festival within my walls. Yes, I know.”
It’s entirely unsentimental and utterly utilitarian for Xiao Chiye to believe that any efforts on his part—even unwanted ones— constitute reciprocation of some manner of Shen Zechuan. But the expectation of reciprocity is the only language that nobility and men of Xiao Chiye’s kind understand, so he turns back to him with a soft smile to offer compromise.
“So let us celebrate,” he decides, picking up another pin to show the viceroy. “In honor of Shangyuan Festival, how about a few riddles? If you win one of me, you’re free to adorn me as you please. If I win one of you, then I’ll dress myself, as I please.”
Xiao Chiye’s expression is mildly perturbed, but there’s no deliberation in his mind. “Alright,” he concedes. And then, without hesitation: “You first.”
Shen Zechuan looks almost pleased, his eyes drifting to the lantern-lined ceiling as he thinks of a riddle to begin with. “He is a grumpy man with thick skin and a big fat belly. Mute if you ignore him, loud if you keep touching him,” he recites, conducting the lilt of his words with the diamond hair pin in his hand.
Xiao Chiye frowns.
“Ten seconds,” Shen Zechuan warns cheerily. “Nine, eight …”
“I don’t know,” Xiao Chiye states, unhappy about his first defeat.
Shen Zechuan plucks the hair pin from his hand as delicately as he would a dahlia’s petal, and places it in his hair. “Too bad. A drum.”
Xiao Chiye clicks his tongue with displeasure. “My turn. Two houses with doors wide open. They allow a million people in but can’t stand a tiny grain.”
It gives Shen Zechuan pause enough. “I give up.”
Xiao Chiye takes the diamond pin from Shen Zechuan’s hands and places it precisely beside the one already nestled expertly within his hair. “A pair of eyes,” he says at last, satisfied with his work.
Shen Zechuan laughs softly, his eyes landing upon the breadth of Xiao Chiye’s shoulders. “Clever,” is his verdict, spoken in half a whisper. He clears his throat. “They are twin sisters of the same height; they work in the kitchen, arm in arm. Whatever is cooked, they always try it first. But they despise soups.”
“Chopsticks,” Xiao Chiye answers easily, reaching into the red lacquered box for a silk peony hairpin in a staid deep coral, and affixes it above Shen Zechuan’s left ear. “A thousand threads, a million strands. Reaching the water, vanishing all at once.”
Shen Zechuan finds himself hesitating not for lack of answer, but for the unexpected scent of Xiao Chiye’s nearness: of the brightness of a wild sun, the gelid fraicheur of a wind descended of mountainsides, that blows through tall, untouched grasses in a faraway idyll.
“Ten seconds,” Xiao Chiye reminds him, and Shen Zechuan is quick to assert plaintively, “I don’t know.”
“A rainfall,” the viceroy informs him, answer curt, and points with a flick of his chin towards the aoqun hanging upon the door. Shen Zechuan reaches for a pale pink one, but Xiao Chiye stops him. “No,” he says, imperiously. “The red one.”
Shen Zechuan reaches for the dark crimson aoqun embroidered with white peonies, but it’s Xiao Chiye who divests it from the hanger, holding it open for him to slip into. Xiao Chiye arranges the robe with exacting care, positioning the stiff collar perfectly center to Shen Zechuan’s nape. Shen Zechuan peers down to straighten the blouse, unwittingly exposing the slightest sliver of skin that peeks out from behind the guard of the high collar. Xiao Chiye’s wanton gaze lingers upon it, taking advantage of Shen Zechuan’s distraction, until he realizes what he’s doing and catches his wrist to stop his hands.
“I’ll do it,” Xiao Chiye says softly, and there’s only an edge of imperative to his words. He starts from the bottom, lining up the knot button with the clasp and fastening them methodically. There’s a shadow of consternation that flickers upon his brow when he gets to the last one, just at Shen Zechuan’s throat. Xiao Chiye swallows hard, his downturned eyes perusing the tenuity of the opera singer’s slender throat, the semblant translucence of his pale skin complimented by the vermillion red of his collar. Sure and steady are Xiao Chiye’s fingers as they attend the final button, in what appears to be assiduity on the viceroy’s part. But his fingers linger upon the clasp, unwilling to let go of the provisional closeness.
He lets out a breath at last, his hands falling away in surrender to their obsoletion, knuckles brushing upon Shen Zechuan’s lithesome chest as they do. “Your turn,” he says finally.
Shen Zechuan’s pulls a demure but dubiously mischievous smile at the corners of his rubicund lips, rests the tip of his index finger upon his chin in pantomime of thought. “Hmm,” he hums, his smile widening to show teeth like pearls glinting in the delicate lamplight. “Sometimes it’s curved like a smile, other times, it’s round like a plate.”
Xiao Chiye says nothing, his footsteps the only sound in the silence of the room as he drifts over to the closet behind him. He skim through the robes, pulling out a cloud-white pei with water sleeves the color of a pale sky darkening. “The moon,” he says softly, his breath warm against the shell of Shen Zechuan’s ear as he leans in to supply the answer, excusing his nearness by draping the robe over Shen Zechuan’s narrow shoulders.
Shen Zechuan watches as Xiao Chiye moves away, realizing the gravity of this game as he slips his arms within the pale pei. The indomitable red of his high collar peeks through the opening of the pei’s collar, as insouciant as a tongue. There’s a note of quiet pleasure upon his features as he examines the combination, choosing a dark red skirt embroidered with gold fauna to match. “What belongs to you, yet others use it more than you do?” he asks, and Shen Zechuan’s half distracted with the arrangement of his skirt, tucking and arranging as he must.
Occupied with his costume, Shen Zechuan does not see Xiao Chiye choose a gilded fengguan from a mannequin’s head, a stunningly ornate headdress ornamented with nine dragons and nine phoenixes, covered in gold leaf and inlaid with hundreds of glass beads of deep carmine that glitter as exultantly as real rubies. “I’m waiting,” Xiao Chiye reminds him, catching the point of Shen Zechuans jaw to angle it upwards and watch his face as he crowns him with the phoenix coronate.
The fan of his inky lashes flutter timorously before Shen Zechuan dares to look up at the viceroy through them. Xiao Chiye recognizes the practiced flirtation, but the realization brings no less admiration for his proficiency. “Me?” he asks, the brilliant smile he pulls breaking as beautifully as a dawn.
Xiao Chiye clicks his tongue in displeasure, his hand dropping away at once.
“Your name,” Shen Zechuan laughs, reaching for his ivory fan at the edge of his vanity. “Naturally. It’s a very good riddle, of course.”
The viceroy leans hard upon the vanity, brow purled in an unhappy louring. “You knew the answer.”
Shen Zechuan walks to the mirror to examine his costume and finds himself pleased. “I did,” he admits. “But you’d already crowned me. It seemed a waste to undo your efforts.”
Xiao Chiye pushes off the edge and walks over to station himself behind him. “You knew all the answers,” comes his quiet accusation. “The whole time.”
Shen Zechuan’s gaze is piercing in the mirror, staring at Xiao Chiye in vivid coquetry. “The Viceroy is too comfortable with triumph,” he contends, and Xiao Chiye’s vaguely aware of being condescended to, even in the gentle lilt of his erudite words. “I wouldn’t presume that you would know that sometimes—” He turns to him now, eyes meeting his with nothing less than audacity. “Sometimes one must lose to win.”
He punctuates his point by tapping the tip of his fan beneath the point of his jaw, smiling to himself as he returns to the vanity to examine his makeup one last time.
“And what have you won?” Xiao Chiye asks, still sullen in spite of Shen Zechuan’s concession and his apparent victory.
Shen Zechuan carefully pulls a heavy brocade sash over his head, and arranges the sash deftly upon his shoulders. “The company of Xiao Chiye,” he replies easily, turning to him in his full glory, his face neutral under all that makeup. It’s a gesture meant to show him how uncontrived the statement was, bereft of the guile of artfulness or artifice. That he means it.
“It isn’t winning if it was yours to accept in the first place,” Xiao Chiye argues, almost peevishly. “I’ve been asking for an audience for you for weeks now. Maybe months. You could have had my company whenever you wanted it.”
“Not the playboy Viceroy,” Shen Zechuan asserts. “Not the lecher, not the drunk, not the one who keeps the company of that boorish Prince Chu—who, by the way, I understand you have a bet with? Regarding my favors and who might win them of me first?”
Xiao Chiye does not move, does not flinch from Shen Zechuan’s accusatory gaze, the tips of his ears a perfect berry-red the only indication of his remorse.
“I don’t care, actually,” Shen Zechuan continues, but the way the lilt of his words adopt a slight staccato hint otherwise. “But it was nice… to see a glimmer of who you are. Behind all that. I really hadn’t much faith that there was anything of note.”
There’s a silence between them, a stillness that neither of them are willing to break. Xiao Chiye’s ears feel scorched with a shame so great, so enervating, that he’s ultimately reduced to the unlikely boldness of having little left to lose and asks, “And what have I won of you?”
Shen Zechuan laughs mirthlessly through his nose. “I considered offering you the opportunity to undo the work of your own hands. Isn’t that what you’ve wanted all evening? But I don’t think you’ve quite earned that, either.” He moves to a vase the pluck a white peony streaked with amaranth red, and tosses it in Xiao Chiye’s direction. “You can come back when it’s faded.”
He staggers to catch it, but snatches it out the air, nearly crushing it in his hand. His fingers unfurl and so does the bloom within the palm of his hand, and Xiao Chiye stares at it to discern its meaning. “Tomorrow?” he asks, hopeful.
Shen Zechuan’s turned in silhouette when he opens his fan and hides his pleased grin behind it. He bows once to the Viceroy, the little pearl strings on his phoenix coronet tinkling softly as he does. As if on cue, an attendant opens the door, through which Shen Zechuan might make his escape. But he turns back suddenly, fan stuck to the palm of his hand as his eyes light up in remembrance. “The tangyuan!” he exclaims, but his face falls immediately into a beautiful consternation.
Xiao Chiye looks to the wooden box upon the vanity and slides it open, the large porcelain bowl within. “Ah,” he replies, reaching into the box and uncovering the bowl. The white and pink tangyuan float within the ginger-sweet broth, like perfect summer moons. “They’re a little cold, but no colder than if you eat them later.”
Shen Zechuan strides forward, gathering his water sleeves to his chest as he turns his mouth up for Xiao Chiye’s perusal, lips parting obediently. “Feed me.”
Xiao Chiye stares at that rosebud mouth in bloom for him, remains frozen in aesthetic arrest of the sight of him before he reaches for the spoon and scoops one out for him. He holds it up to Shen Zechuan’s lips, that accept the ingress of the porcelain between them, the deep crimson of his lips closing about the pure white of the tangyuan and sucks it cleanly into his mouth.
Shen Zechuan’s eyes lower as he daubs carefully away at the ginger broth at the corners of his mouth, his pink tongue peeking out as he licks his lips clean. “Tomorrow,” he confirms at last, commits a shallow bow as he watches Xiao Chiye slowly bring the empty spoon to his own mouth.
There’s only the residual sweetness of the ginger left upon it, but it’s the ghost of Shen Zechuan’s lips that he means to consume. And somehow he knows that, fan opening to hide away the pleased smile before he floats out of the waiting door like a gilded fantasy. One that Xiao Chiye is sure he’d do anything to dream up again.
#numinousdread#im insane about them wtf#to the point that I am just writing nonsense#but here is my attempt to cezhou for u#i hope this isn't#too horrible a depiction of ur lanzhou#mwah mwah i kiss ur eyes
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Heyyyy :3 and could you do how Kate laswell would help you when your on your period?? :D
Hey! Sure I can!
Laswell Helping Her S/O on Their Period
Laswell doesn’t get periods anymore, which she couldn’t be happier about. Every time she did get her period she felt as though she was going to die. Her cramps were bad, everything else hurt as well, she was moody and probably almost decked someone several times throughout her life. She always thought getting her period was unnecessary. She's a lesbian, she was never going to do the devil’s tango with a man and get pregnant. Laswell always wished her body would understand that as well, but alas. However, she would feel a lot of pity and sympathy when you’re on your period as she knows how much it can suck. While she may not actively track it, she’ll always know when you’re about to get your period, being able to identify the signs. She’ll make the preparations as well, which can range from getting you some meds, should you need them, to buying chocolate or other snacks. Hell, she’ll buy you the best heating pad she can find as well. However, she still won’t be too big on cuddling with you, unless you insist on her doing so. She’s not the warmest person around, so she likely won’t be able to ease your pains like that either. However, she’ll bundle you up in a blanket and watch bloopers of your favorite shows with you until you’re laughing again and it gets a bit better. Although she’s usually okay with doing the chores on her own, when you’re not doing well because you’re menstruating she will actively encourage you to stay in bed and let her handle everything. Cleaning the dishes should be the least of your concerns for the time being. Makes you tea, coffee or maybe some hot chocolate. You won’t need to move a single finger. If she really needs to, then she’ll change the bed sheets as well if you bled on them. She won’t be mad, she gets it. It’s not something you can control, after all. So, all in all, she’ll do her best to take care of you as well as she can. Might take a day off too if you need her to.
#cod#cod x reader#kate laswell#kate laswell x reader#again I am so glad I don't get periods anymore#it's one of the main perks of taking medication#it's the reason why I don't wanna change my current medication anymore either#Laswell is an older lady so I think the worst is behind her by this point#which I am happy for her for. like yes queen! you suffered enough time to get some respite from all this biological nonsense#sorry this took so long to write. I'm only really able to write as I am right now since I studied for hours on end at work today#I think I'm gonna fail the test again this Friday but I'll be doing better than last time so that's good!#anyway I'm gonna write the fluff alphabet for Farah now. not sure if I'll be able to finish it today though#but if everything keeps up as it is right now then I'll likely be able to finish it tomorrow!#and then I finally won't have any requests again as of now#just kidding I love writing but it is exhausting at times
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people will write the most aphobic or amatonormative essays on creativity or media in general and other folks will link it around like it's the most Beautiful and True thing that has Ever been Written and it's just something like
"more children's media needs to show characters having sex"
or "art is only good if it involves fetishes and is written by intensely sexual people because liking sex is normal and not being interested in sex is not and makes your writing Extremely Boring and Bad"
or "media that shows muscular or thin people is so sad because it will make other people want to be muscular or thin and then that will lower their libido and they will not be able to enjoy sex which is more important than health"
like are people... actually reading what these essays are saying or
#negative nonsense#sorry some weirdo linked to one of these essays in response to a post a friend of mine made#and it never ceases to amaze me how people think the world must revolve around sex#to the point where only Good Art/Media/Writing/Whatever involves sex#and if it does not involve sex it is Not Good#like my bros my dudes please goodness gracious sakes alive#understand that some people exist........ who are not interested in sex#and they're not unhealthy or anything they just!!! are not interested!!!#and they don't want to include it in their works!!!#and that works don't have to include sex or fetishes to be good!!!#like I get that you're combating sex negativity but don't like stomp on sex repulsed or asexual people in doing so???#(I am asexual for the record please do not come at me for stereotyping ace people as not liking sex)#(I am ace and sex repulsed please let me exist and stop trying to tell me I am a bad writer/artist for who I am)
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me: *tries to write a fic where two characters meet for the first time at a party and slowly start to become friends despite the fact that she's a secret agent working against him and he's been assigned to spy on her*
the characters: *insult each other, mock each other, physically fight each other until his parental figure intervenes, sit next to each other at dinner, gossip together, have a low-key romantic dance together, he gets so flustered and confused that he jumps out a window*
me:
me: okay then
#to be clear: he's confused about being flustered#he's like 'oh my gosh i'm scared of her. i'm never scared of anyone why am I scared of her?? what the heck what the heck what the heck'#like uhhhhh buddy pal friendo you're not scared you just have A Crush#jessica's writing nonsense#the teenage rebellion AU#at this point i'm just going to roll with it because I don't want to stunt my productivity by rethinking everything
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Commenter on AO3: Really cool story thanks!
Me: Thank you so much, here is a complete dissertation on my use of color symbolism over the last eight chapters--
Commenter:....
#I heartily apologize to those lovely readers who get novel length replies from me#Waxing nonsensically about little things they noticed and dared to point out in a comment#Writers just love talking to people about their writing choices OK?#And are SO overly excited when someone notices#At least I am#Sorrrryyyyy#Fanfiction#Writing#Writing life#ao3
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A former slave came, to accuse a certain noble of the Zhak. The noble had taken her maidenhood, used her for his pleasure, and gotten her with child. Her new husband wanted the noble gelded for the crime of rape, and he wanted a purse of gold as well, to pay him for raising the noble’s bastard as his own. Dany granted him the gold, but not the gelding. “When he lay with her, your wife was his property, to do with as he would. By law, there was no rape.” Her decision did not please him, she could see, but if she gelded every man who ever forced a bedslave, she would soon rule a city of eunuchs. — ADWD, Daenerys I
A feminist icon, right ?
Daenerys never treats slavery as an evil in and of itself, as an affront to human dignity. It’s a legal technicality. It’s why she acted the way she did in the Lhazareen village, it’s why she doesn’t understand how she needs to treat her “handmaidens” differently if she wants them to understand they are no slaves, it’s why she can almost pettily declare Meereenese can sell themselves back into slavery if they want so long as she gets a profit. She doesn’t understand the fundamentals of why it is bad. The same way she doesn’t understand the concept of rape. That’s why her quest is so empty and doomed to fail. She doesn’t understand it and she doesn’t care to try.
I'm not even gonna bother putting energy into answering this cause it's obvious to me that you and reading comprehension have a strained relationship. You're just not smart and there's nothing I can do to change that. All I'll say is that you could only come up with interpretations like this by removing all context from Dany's arc and cherry-picking quotes. Luckily, the rest of us aren't reading the books with our eyes closed.
#anon#ask#fandom nonsense#what getting your info from a bullet point list on reddit does to a mf#I don't get the point in sending asks like this unless you're just assuming I haven't read the books either?#and am not aware of Dany's thoughts or feelings on the subject? or the context attached to the quotes you try and pull out of context? 😭#mind-boggling...either way I'm not spending my time writing a long reply cause it's obvious you don't read#be easy...or not I don't really care#laughing cause I know anon thought they did something with this#/Dany doesn't understand slavery or rape/ and she's a formal bridal slave#also I would call slavery a lot worse than just an affront to human dignity so maybe you're the one who doesn't understand??
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i have lies of p and ff 16 installed and ready to go so i can do something mildly enjoyable my last few days before the school/work death spiral starts up again and instead i'm just sitting here refreshing Webbed Sites and watching nothing interesting appear like
#quite predictably i did in fact get sick at the 3 day long work training held during a massive covid/flu surge#i was masked except for meal/photo times and am up to date on vaccinations tho so thankfully it's just a mild cold#but i'm just sort of tired and unable to focus on anything#honestly tho they could have easily done all those presentations over Teams and been done a lot earlier :/#the weather was really bad the first couple of days too and i know a lot of commuters would have really appreciated doing it virtually#but i guess that wouldn't have let us do all our ~fun~ icebreaker and ~team building activities~!#idk Employer Mandated Socializing and Fun Times just inherently irritate me on a cellular level#tell me how you want a job done and then let me go do it#having us write a group poem about our department for arbitrary points accomplishes literally nothing but wasting all our time#kathryn vs higher education#assorted work nonsense
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Every time I have to use the canon-consistent name for places in the Iberian peninsula which are not the official name I lose ten years off my life
#okay fine i will write lerida because you put it there. but is that even what you wanted mr. o'brian sir#honestly stephen is writing in his diary i might just keep it lleida#for the roses fic i just gave up at one point (<- evidenced by this sentence. it's gulf of roses why did he call it rosas bay)#but i don't respect cs forester and he doesn't understand catalanism so whatever#pob would know better so i can only assume it's period-accurate for talking in english :/// but grrrr i don't like it#(i am keeping figueras/rosas/etc bc that's consistent w period catalan spelling from there)#(but lerida??? no. no please no please don't make me do that)#(also ampurdá i can do but ampurdán get cancelled)#perce rambles#percy yells at cecil scott#The Creative Endeavor and other aubreyad nonsense
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mitski really released thursday girl and won zero awards for it like oh yeah normal average overlookable song. if i was in charge it would’ve gotten every grammy award. every music award. every non music award. it would’ve been put on a voyager golden record. it would’ve been preserved in the national record registry. it would be the national anthem. i’d put it in my family photobook. i’d get it tattooed on me. i’d have beautiful twins and i’d name them thursday and girl just kidding but i’d get two beautiful cats and name them thursday and girl. i’d change my name to thursday girl first name thurs middle name day last name girl. every thursday i’d be like wow it’s thursday just like the song thursday girl by mitski isn’t that wonderful and repeat it to everyone i know and don't know. but yeah it’s totally whatever i guess idk
#draftpost. this post wasoriginally longer but it's like hm i'm just blabbering and writing nonsense. but also like when am i not. yeah#but u get the point. was normal when i wrote this was not going through anything. im lying#my text#mitski
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maybe i should just put proship in my bio already
#read this in the most exhausted tone you can imagine.#a tone that says 'yes. fine. if we're going to be forced to label ourselves now i align with this. but this false dichotomy shit is stupid.#mostly just want people to stop following me when they've got 'proship dni' somewhere on their bio#because what the fuck does that mean. look me in the eyes right now. how the fuck. am i supposed to know.#what each and every person's individual definition of proship is. how am i supposed to know where you draw#your arbitrary line of what is and is not okay to write about.#i cannot read your mind. i don't know you. get off of my page until you can clearly communicate your boundaries.#and at that point hopefully you'll also be able to think critically about shit enough to realize that anti/pro shit is nonsense.#i write noncon because i think its hot. i will also tag that shit so that it can be avoided. that is the agreement out here.#gosh sorry. that was so overly aggressive. im very frustrated.#ive been in this fandom a long time i am. very very tired. i just want to write my samifer in peace. make some angels kiss each other.
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do you think Leo is a misogynist
nope and i'm not just saying that because he's my favourite character. calling leo a misogynist is just objectively ridiculous; the most "misogynistic" behaviour he ever exhibits is flirting awkwardly and thinking of himself as a casanova but even then when he gets put in his place it's not like he gets angry or violent or even all that upset. it's clear that his flirty behaviour is just another coping mechanism that can manifest negatively like, say, his bullying frank. he's best friends with piper, is intimidated by annabeth, and becomes close with hazel and reyna. all characters with which he has completely normal and meaningful interactions with. frankly i don't get at all how people see him as some raging misogynist—the most he has is a minor sexism problem that is typical of most teenage boys, one that even percy has.
tldr; no. nothing leo does is ever that serious.
#leo valdez#heroes of olympus#this is an ask with suspiciously good timing considering what i saw on twitter today#which i think ill post about actually. just to be a hater.#anyway yeah nothing leo does in hoo is ever bad enough to be classified as misogynistic#the most his behaviour does is slightly aggravate the girls#and he doesnt have any inherent discriminatory beliefs about women#compare that to for example sylva1n—another character i love who is most definitely more of a misogynist#HIS actions actually result in far more serious consequences compared to just annoying girls slightly#(the women he dates actually get emotionally toyed with and hurt)#and HE actually has beliefs about women that are hurtful (though he admits that its nonsensical)#but those beliefs influence his actions and how he treats women around him#now leo? doesnt do either of those things. of course because its not the point of his character like it is to sylva1n's#so consequently its just not something about leos character to. yknow. worry about.#like i said: at most he's just got a case of the teenage boy flirt combined with “whoa strong women exist?”#but the idea that he actually hates women is. laughable lmao.#ricks not capable of writing that kind of protagonist#anyway anon i am SO sorry for this rant. holy shit.#i even threw a fire emblem character into the mix im sorry fksjsks#in my defense you asked me about LEO VALDEZ and also im a sylva1n liker so i have lots of thoughts about misogyny in characters#but yknow apologies are due anyway 🙏 forgive me#ask#thanks for the ask :]#riordanverse#meta
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not the other anon, but i read your lycaon posts and it kinds of make sense, even if it'd be kind of sad how rhea chooses to abandon humanity because her kid was killed
Oh, thanks, but it's just a headcanon!
Lycaon I is even less relevant than Ferdie in AM lol
As for that "half-nabatean lycaon" verse...
It's a bit more complicated - by abandoning humanity you mean working on the rez sothis plan ? - than that in that AU, because both Rhea and Willy (but he doesn't count since he died) feel guilty for Lycaon's death since, in those AUs, they're convinced he died because he was half-nabatean and it's their fault because they were supposed to have ended the war and killed the people who hunted pointy ears - Fodlan was supposed to be a safe space where Nabateans could abandon hair dye and, well, it's not.
Like, imagine a post FE7 situation, where Eliwood and Ninian and their friends think coexistence is possible and there could be a time, in the future, where humans and dragons could live together, like they do in Arcadia, but not hidden anymore. Roy pops up, but when he is introduced to, idk, the other nobles from the world in some sort of get together, Roy reveals he's not totally human, and gets diced as a result -
I could see Eliwood moving on, with a lot of support from his friends, but needing a lot of time to proceed.
But Rhea? Post WoH Rhea? Who "just" lost her family to the red canyon because, as far as she knows, they had pointy ears, and who loses right now her son for the same reason??
It's keeping with the general trend of her needing a "strong reason" or "another traumatic event" to make her fall to Sothis's return, when, per the Hresvelg Covenant, there was one point where she thought humans could guide the land themselves. And given how canon-wise the end of the War of Heroes, the beginning of the Monastery thus the period where she leaves Adrestia all have the same origin - Lycaon's death, I tried to honeypot around it lol
Just like some people thought FE16 actually deconstructs FE4 with the Holy Blood and weapons being, uh, not holy at all, I thought about FE7's ending. Eliwood marries Ninian and their son will later on become a hero who will save the continent!
Save that, this time, Roy dies in chapter 6 because he is not human and his closest friends and other nobles (in the Lycaon AU it's his own half-siblings and nephews + nobles!) cannot accept his heritage.
#anon#replies#fodlan nonsense#fodlan au#is it wolf (fe16)'s hour?#in that verse she still cares about humanity like she does in canon#bcs she's like that someone who cares#but lycaon is a trauma she didn't get over at all#like the wake up slap that no stop dreaming you can't guide humans humans can't guide themselves only Sothis can#I tried to write some random post about lycaon but it became way too serious and i kind of dropped it#let's say post lycaon death willy despairs and follows Seiros#he's depressive and doesn't believe in anything anymore Seiros is just coping with her 'mother will return just you wait'#ultimately his faith in the future in renewed at some point just before his death idk maybe by seeing Noa's scions or something#they shouldn't give up and can still build an ideal world and he tries to say this to Rhea but then woopsies he dies#rhea's faith in fodlan and humanity only happens when she drops sothis like maybe in an AG/AM route#rather AM#maybe they're still hope somewhere but it'll come imo more from Flayn and Billy interacting with humans and telling them their sekrit than#something she realises on her own#FE16
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There’s two lines Claude has - in his C support with Dimitri - that perfectly encapsulate why the “He’s like this because he didn’t have Byleth/his time in the academy to guide him to being good” reasoning makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, that he says regarding the Central Church/Rhea: “Who steals your freedom and gives you an endless list of duties and obligations simply because you have a Crest? Who forces your friends into a bunch of unwanted marriages and positions of power?”
Now, keep in mind, this is what Claude says are two of his core motivations into taking down the Church and/or killing Rhea (mostly the second). The problem with that tho is that it goes directly against what Claude has personally experienced; just about everything we know about him should not just not have him have this belief, but actively believe the opposite of it.
And no, not just because of 3H. I’m talking about it doesn’t make sense for him to have it according to 3Hopes, as a standalone game, as well.
So, like, hey, um, how do we know Claude? Like how it is that we, like, physically see Claude at all? Why is he in Fodlan? Oh, yeah, it’s because he chose to come over here, of his own volition:
And he chose to come over here to become the leader of the Alliance so that he can make his dreams come true:
As in, before he met Byleth or entered the Academy, Claude came here because he wanted to come here. No Crest forced him to take up this position, or to take up any list of duties and obligations, he literally chose to do all of that himself. And in fact, even with his Crest, he still needed the help of Crestless Judith to even be legitimized as heir, even though he logically would’ve been tested for having a Crest once he came over. And the way we know this is... because Claude says so, explicitly:
(and because I’m just nice like that we’re also gonna ignore how Lorenz literally says that having a Crest isn’t enough proof for Claude’s legitimacy for being heir and that it’s his noble disposition that is more important - keeping strictly to stuff that happens before Byleth/the academy)
So, like, cool fundamental aspects of Claude’s background go directly against what he is saying is true about this shit, that’s fine. Sure, yeah, he complains about being forced to take up an unwanted position of power that he literally came to Fodlan to get because he wanted it, that’s cool cool that’s fine that’s WHATEVER I guess. But that’s 3H - what about 3Hopes as a standalone game, like I said?
Well, regardless of either game, Claude is. Like. Almyran royalty. You know, Almyra, that place that isn’t Fodlan and so does not have Crests and yet still has a nobility system of some sort. Like, there’s a reason Claude never talks about Crests causing noble troubles in 3H like many other characters do, he’d have experience as foreign royalty with the idea of Crests, like... not causing royalty or nobility. So, uh, there’s that lil detail. But let’s go even further!
There’s a few little details about the world of Fodlan that 3Hopes throws at us, right? Some might, uh, directly go against canon of 3H, but whatever - talking about strictly 3Hopes here! And what is revealed in strictly 3Hopes? Which important figure is revealed to not have a Crest? And which important character does have a Crest?
Holst and Hilda.
Crestless Holst and Crested Hilda.
Heir of House Goneril, guardian of the border, renowned general known about all of Fodlan, Crestless Holst, and “seems like she had a pretty cushy life growing up. Which means she’s gotten into the habit of slacking off and making others do things for her” Crested Hilda.
Holst, the Crestless one with all of the duties and obligations, the one with the position of power, and Hilda, the Crested lazy slack-off who does nothing AS DESCRIBED
BY CLAUDE HIMSELF.
SO, COOL, HE HAS DIRECT EVIDENCE AGAINST THIS BELIEF OF HIS AND ACKNOWLEDGES THE EXISTANCE OF HOLST’S LACK OF A CREST IN THEIR SUPPORTS AND YET SAID BELIEF IS A CORE MOTIVATION AS TO HIM KILLING RHEA AND TAKING DOWN THE CHURCH. He himself does not embody this belief. He himself is also, technically, proof against this belief.
And IN 3HOPES, he takes on more responsibilities than his position warrants from him! In his supports with Leonie he asks her to keep him in touch with what the commoners of Leicester have problems with, because his position stops their voices from reaching his ears. HE SAYS THAT. THAT COMES FROM HIS MOUTH. His position prevents him from taking on this responsibility, and he WILLINGLY CHOOSES TO TAKE IT ON ANYWAY. It’s something that he says is his priority above winning the war DESPITE it not being something his position allows! THAT DOESN’T SOUND VERY FORCED TO ME.
And none of this is addressing the completely out-of-pocket accusation of forcing marriages, which not only does literally no one accuse the Church of doing, IT’S SOMETHING THAT, ON AG, PEOPLE ACCUSE DIMITRI OF DOING. THE GUY CLAUDE IS TALKING TO IN THIS INSTANCE. That Dimitri arranges political marriages for the sole purpose of benefitting from the strengthened family ties - the second part is wrong, but Dimitri does in fact arrange marriages between families, at least once. But then Dimitri says that he agrees with Claude on his accusations against the Church?? But, whatever, not about that, dumb as that is.
So what, exactly, is the fuckin’ problem here? Where the fuck does this idea even come from? It goes against his 3H character, and it can’t even stand up straight in the game it is introduced in. It is shot down at about every single conceivable level possible, and most of the bullets are shot from the gun that Claude himself is holding. And all of this shit predates any meeting with Byleth or his time in the academy - that has nothing to do with all of the shit this attitude (and his behavior overall) contradicts in both 3H and 3Hopes. And again - core motivation here! These are the first two things he says are his reason to do what he does against the Church when asked about it - which include all of the terrible shit he pulls against Faerghus in GW. SO happy to know that he does such blatantly evil shit for reasons that HE HIMSELF proves are wrong!! Love that for him 💞💞💞 end me
#Fire Emblem Warriors Three Hopes#Fire Emblem Warriors: Three Hopes#Fire Emblem Warriors Three Hopes spoilers#Fire Emblem Warriors: Three Hopes spoilers#Can this be considered meta?#guys it's just bad writing there's no nice way to put it#in many MANY ways the writing for Claude's character in 3Hopes was given as much love and care as a red-headed stepchild#and this is definitely one of those ways#it's completely nonsensical at every angle. it makes no sense in 3H or 3Hopes#and yet it's apparently what's driving him to be a shitbag#not gonna address how he himself works against the spirit of his last point - that the Church disallows contact with foreigners#like oh yeah Claude I bet making Faerghus and Sreng fight each other is REALLY stickin' it to Rhea huh 🗿 stupid fuckin' dumbass#am i ever glad we're Dev Approved to discard what we want cuz this negl would make him the actual worse written character in the game#were this hard canon#damn one Top 5 material at least#Clyde discourse
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me, before trying to dig through AO3 to read TF2 fic: yeah so I'm told Pyro gets infantilized a lot but I'm sure it can't be THAT bad
me, after digging through AO3 looking for fics with Pyro and hitting the back button again and again and again: %) ah. i see.
#negative nonsense#stooOOOOP HE'S NOT A CHIIIILD#STOP THIS AAAAAAAAAAAA#at some point I'm just gonna write TF2 fic out of spite if I can figure out something to write#just so I can have a Pyro-focused genfic that DOESN'T INFANTILIZE HIM AAAAAAAAAA#(though none of this helps that I'm extremely picky)#(unless I'm already really invested in a fic--if Pyro takes off their mask then I am Out)
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love this system that is like "oh you work for 2 years while we barely pay you - it's not called a wage for a reason, duh - have you come to class and write an exam every week but in class - just for funsies - we won't actually teach you what you need to know for the exams but a lot of practical stuff which doesn't apply for your work because that is way more specialized"
glad i can skip the classes since i moved outside of town for this part. while i have to teach everything to myself, everyone in class is non the wiser and at least i don't lose the hours.
#ctlyuejie writes#really thought i could get some studying in until february since starting february my work schedule will be hell#but alas#idk how the people cope who have to work more hours than me#if i take anything away from this is that i am damn lucky with my supervisors#and the knowledge i could still find a job at my current workplace if I fail the bar#just had a meeting to discuss one of the mock exams: they are not allowed to hand out the correct solution just discuss it#and since a lot of it is the outline and basically formatting stuff it really isn't helpful to have someone explain where to put a signatur#and letter head etc with no visual aid#and there's also no textbook examples because every fucking region does it differently#i just love that in the exam i am drafting administrative decisions - letters to court - letters to citizens etc which in reality you'd use#internal templates for#but just for the nonsense of it all you have to memorize the formats for the bar (besides getting the material law correct obviously)#me copypasting the template for writing charges when i was working as a prosecutor vs me in the exam having to draw the state coat of arms#into the correct spot so i don't fail on a technicality#(guy who was correcting the mock exam got mad because i wrote “coat of arms” in letters instead of drawing it...my dude...it's a mock exam)#(i will draw the horse for the bar and not before that)#shouldn't have started my training in a state that has a horse on the coat of arms#also highly enjoyable how this must read like madness to anyone taking the bar in another country (besides the bar being madness anywhere)#at this point i have the equivalent of two bachelors two masters and a specialization and i still might not make it#just collecting fun letters that go behind my name
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I'm sorry if I caused you more stress. You did say that you had stuff to deal with irl but I assumed it was just a full schedule and free time was the issue, not other things. Please know that I respect your media preferences and understand that destressing is important.
Good luck with your stuff!
-Regular Anon
Thank you ;u;
Aha yeah. I mean, it was (and still is) mostly a time issue. Tis the season of rush and craziness, and I'm always in the organization team for everything Christmas at my job. Since I'm trapped there from 9 to 6 five days a week, it can be extra draining ^^;
But now it also happens that the owners of the company I work for are seriously considering selling the location and be done with the company as a whole bc they are manchildren that can't allow the other guy to get even a penny more from their partnership.
Soooo to the normal stress of the holidays, I have an added dose of job insecurity and bosses that not only couldn't care less, but expect us to be all merry and grateful :/
It's... definitely something, my employment situation rn, and I'm afraid that that leaves me with very few physical, mental and emotional energy for stuff that my adhd brain doesn't enjoy and actually distracts it from this entire shitshow 😅
#replies#the tldr is that I'm going through it rn#didn't mean to dismiss your points or the potential you brough forward orz#I just honestly am very tired the few hours I can relax at home#and I just want to vibe#can't even draw or write bc weekends are for going shopping and docs appointments#I'm too old for this nonsense :')#don't mind me
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