#to quote my grandfather:
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god his fucking legs~🎃
#to quote my grandfather:#‘got some nice lookin pins there’#(obviously not directed at me. that’d be gross.)#but frank?#definitely some nice lookin pins#he really needs to wear shorts more often.#idc that it’s winter#i wanna see those tattooed legs of his#frnkiebby#frank iero#mcr#mcr5#frnkiero#mcrmy#frnkie#my chemical romance#my chem
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hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?
hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].
but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.
it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.
and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.
the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.
an emptiness, like you said.
but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.
you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.
he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.
but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.
how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.
the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.
think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.
i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.
but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one.
wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.
as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛
#q&a.#birdsong.#wishing u gentle ease; the death of a loved one is near inexplicable to put into words and i hope you take care of yourself gently <3#i hope this will make u laugh: when i was a tiny child in middle school there were times i would go outside in my tiny suburban cul de sac-#in the rain and sing along to my lil ipod nano and i only remember doing this to drops of jupiter. can you imagine going out to get the mai#after a long day of work and you just hear this kid singing train in the streets. in the RAIN.... it makes me laugh like i really.#i really thought i was so cool and deep and emotional ghjkd but i find it v funny that i only remember it w/ that one train track.#and saturn just. it's my fav s.a.l. song for a reason. that slow violin opening? the piano coming in gentle and easy?#it feels like light. like hope. like something new - a dawn after the long dark. that beautiful things can begin again even where#it hurts. and there is nothing more human than a sentiment like that.#how rare and beautiful it is to truly exist. what it is to be alive and get to be here and live with other people. with those we love.#i think your grandfather was so lucky to be able to know you. to have you in his life for the time you had together.#i'm no spiritual person; but i like to believe when you're thinking about him? he's thinking about you too.#the second law of thermodynamics (physics nerd mode) is that no energy has ever been created/destroyed since the beginning of the universe.#so it has to go somewhere - it's that carl sagan quote of 'we're all made of stardust'. because we are. we used to be stars; planets; etc.#i think it's why i think of these space songs - because they're a part of everything; once more; when they go. us and everything else.
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"I am no messenger. But I will give you a message. A message of death."
sooo i got a custom done by @popfizzles and they're SO cool and funky :D
everyone say hello to Razing Rot, the god of creations/projects filled with love, care, and dedication that were left to rot as if none of it ever mattered. corporate greed, the world moving forward, someone looking to cut corners rather than keep that which people lovingly brought to life- all of it falls under their domain.
they're a nice deer-wolf-monster thing, really! they just don't like being ignored :)
also they go by the name shane on occasion for the joakes
#razing rot#only time im gonna tag the op bc i dont wanna clog up notifs or anythin#but!!! im in LOVE i spent all day on this LOOK AT THEM GUYS LOOK AT THEM.#god the design turned out better than i couldve ever thought. was SO easy to adapt into my own style like!!! yes!!!!!!! hit the nail on the#-head for the character designs i SUPER love woughghgh#nyway. everyone look at them rn. im gonna shove them into everything ever for a bit and then jsut kiss them on the head and doodle them#idk if they'll get their own story but i love them so much. they're gonna be so fun to just mess with EEE#also. for those wondering. the quote is lyrics from klippa's 'grandfather clocktower'. unnoficial theme for my creecher <3#gore tw#body horror#artnerd1123
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Billy "if I fits I sits" Hargrove and Steve "if you don't get your ass out of my face I'll bite it" Harrington
Steve "are you sure this is safe" Harrington and Billy "probably not" Hargrove
Steve "do I smell something burning" Harrington and Billy "your toast has been ready for ten minutes" Hargrove
Steve "study day and night" Harrington and Billy "I'll leave it up to fate" Hargrove
Billy "where do you think you're going mister" Hargrove and Steve "to the bathroom" Harrington
Steve "please brush your hair babe" Harrington and Billy "it's for the aesthetic" Hargrove
Billy "are you annoyed yet" Hargrove and Steve "I'm starting to be" Harrington
Steve "my patience is wearing thin" Harrington and Billy "like your hairline" Hargrove
Steve "why isnt the car moving" Harrington and Billy "Maybe because it's in park Steven" Hargrove
Billy "why do you put up with me" Hargrove and Steve "I've put up with a lot worse don't test me" Harrington
Billy "Ratio" Hargrove and Steve "keep math out of this" Harrington
Steve "please slow down we're going to be late" Harrington and Billy "do you hear yourself" Hargrove
Steve "have you looked in the mirror" Harrington and Billy "have you?" Hargrove
Steve "I went to the bakery" Harrington and Billy "do I not have enough cake for you" Hargrove
Steve "I love you unconditionally" Harrington and Billy "how dare you say that" Hargrove
Steve "are you okay" Harrington and Billy "am I ever okay" Hargrove
Billy "what were you thinking" Hargrove and Steve "nothing" Harrington (works both ways hehe)
Steve "you could've died" Harrington and Billy "but I didn't" Hargrove
Billy "how can you love me" Hargrove and Steve "how can I not" Harrington
Billy "are you really wearing that outfit in public" Hargrove and Steve "if it embarrasses you yes" Harrington
Billy "please don't fall in love with me" Hargrove and Steve "too late" Harrington
Steve "do you think this is funny" Harrington and Billy "oh you're not laughing" Hargrove
Billy "pay attention to me" Hargrove and Steve "dude don't make me get a restraining order" Harrington
Steve "I don't smell" Harrington and Billy "allow me to bring you back to earth" Hargrove
Steve "I'm stupid" Harrington and Billy "that's okay, I'll just out stupid you" Hargrove
Billy "I'm an asshole" Hargrove and Steve "why do you think I like you so much" Harrington
Steve "why are you laughing" Harrington and Billy "why aren't you laughing" Hargrove
Billy "giggles at funerals" Hargrove, Eddie "places bets on who's going to sing at the altar" Munson and Steve "God isn't real but the devil is" Harrington
Steve "sit up straight" Harrington and Billy "i literally can't" Hargrove +(Bonus- Robin "and on Pride Month" Buckley)
Billy "I'm very disappointed in you" Hargrove and Steve "is it because I'm bi" Harrington
*****
Tags: (always room for more 🥰🤡)
@ouizzyharringrove
@harringroveho
@hephaestn
@emeraldwitches
@shipworm
@whoringrove
@polaris-ursae
@geormenia
@spaceboxkitty
@thatawkwardlittlefangirl
@wixterirox
#bi steve is everything#i just want robin and billy to be gay and do crime#is that too much to ask#eddie and billy making steve go insane is my religion#their dynamic#harringrove#harringrove incorrect#a hint of#mungrove#harringroveson#harringrove solos#steddilly for life#harringroveincorrect#incorrect harringrove quotes#they cant all be winning ideas yall 🤧#but i had fun#hehehehee#edit: i went to catholic school as a kid and i misspelled altar#my grandfather is rolling in his grave
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[from my flickr files:: My father and his father]
* * * *
“I had two dreams about him after he died. I dont remember the first one all that well but it was about meetin him in town somewheres and he give me some money and I think I lost it. But the second one it was like we was both back in older times and I was on horseback goin through the mountains of a night. Goin through this pass in the mountains. It was cold and there was snow on the ground and he rode past me and kept on goin. Never said nothin. He just rode on past and he had this blanket wrapped around him and he had his head down and when he rode past I seen he was carryin fire in a horn the way people used to do and I could see the horn from the light inside of it. About the color of the moon. And in the dream I knew that he was goin on ahead and that he was fixin to make a fire somewhere out there in all that dark and all that cold and I knew that whenever I got there he would be there. And then I woke up.”
― Cormac McCarthy, No Country for Old Men
#my flickr files#grandfather#granddad#father#quotes#Cormac McCarthy#Words and writing#no Country for Old Men
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just sat through the most horrible, awkward, tense dinner I've ever experienced in my whole life
#my bf's family was in town to see the eclipse#he was like 'hey do you wanna get dinner with us after?'#and he's met my entire family so even though i didnt want to it was only fair.#anyway his uncle picks us up at my apartment. his sister is in the car.#no one asks who or how i am and i do not get introduced nor have the chance to introduce myself#for like a good 3-5 minutes. off to a bad start.#we get to the restaurant. a pizza place. his family is already seated.#no one except for his grandparents acknowledge me. they are the only 2 people to talk to me directly for the entire meal.#his grandfather asks some stuff about my life. i answer normally. he veers off into tangents that i can only respond to with 'haha'#or a smile and nod bc they are so personal that i literally have nothing to add#the children in the family spill water everywhere. there is yelling in the public restaurant while my bf goes and gets napkins#like a normal person might do#despite being at a pizza place everyone decides to order an individual dish instead of something to share#this might be fine if there were only 4 of us. there were 10.#they get mad when the food takes over an hour to come#at this point i wished i had ordered a cocktail#his uncle is the most awkward person ive ever met. he quotes outdated memes out loud.#at one point everyone except for me and my bf was on their phones#his grandfather shows me vulgar facebook posts#what is WRONG with people#im going to shower and change into my jammies and have a drink and watch something stupid#i need to cleanse myself of this whole. thing.#txt
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may the flowers by your grave never go dry
for as my tears will water them until i die
@poppingpoetrypills
#poem#quotes#safe space#sad poetry#sad thoughts#sad quotes#sad poem#grandpa#grandfather#poetry#poets on tumblr#original poem#own post#own poetry#poetic#writers and poets#poems and quotes#spilled tears#tears in my eyes#family#graveyard#gravestone#cancer#emotions
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the interplay of power in these conversations is worth lingering on, i think. when rue is offered a mask and a place among the chorus, it is construed as a gift, though it is quickly revealed that they will never be recognized as an equal. and we know that rue is exceptional for their court as a justification, a mechanism of self-defense that they have always used to overcome their true nature. they are not fey, not really; rue is a monster. and the court does not let them forget it. they admire rue’s gifts and talents as a reflection of the court’s ability to elevate a monster, to make their monster into a prize that they will eventually collect.
it is power via extraction; the chorus took an owlbear from the mortal plane as a source of curiosity and delight, and now they take rue from their life among the fey as a source of insight and passion.
in contrast, the lords of the goblin court do not offer hob a marriage but instead order him to this new assignment. there was never a question of him being their equal; there was never a question of loving him, of anyone loving him. but in what seems like an act of charity and grace, they compare him to themselves. they offer him what he has twisted himself into knots trying to achieve -- he has a place in the court, he is something like a goblin, he could almost be one of them. all he ever wanted was to be one of them, which we know is a justification and not true happiness, but he wants it still. blemish and boil wield hob; their power is opportunistic, and they are willing to dehumanize him for it.
both courts reduce them to tools. rue has a purpose to fulfill; it’s what they owe the court of wonder, after all, for making rue what they are. hob has value in his willingness to serve; it’s what he lives for, what the goblin court has told him to live for. in the end, meeting each other won’t save them; though love will likely inspire them to act, the only way out is in deconstructing the court system. as long as the courts stand, hob and rue and every other monster trapped within it will suffer as their superiors find ways to use them.
#god . god#i wanted to pull quotes from the original blemish&hob scene as well as the rue&wavemaster scene#but. tumblr image limit my beloathed!!!!!#anyways. u could make this argument just as easily with what we got from grandfather/the cousins & andhera/the queen#im just on my kprue bullshit always#plus. well#in their oppositions they are reflections of each other<3#kprue#acofaf#battlemaster of ceremonies#ruehob
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the easiest way to tell that zionism has nothing to do with being jewish is to look at any example of how they treat ethiopian and other black jews
#been called antisemetic too much this past week#as if all of my jewish friends arent anti-zionist#i know someone whos grandfather was responsible for creating israel who is anti-zionist#so theyre just a quote unquote self hating jew too right?#like what would they gain from being anti-israel? think about it dummies
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also kenobi fans are unhinged we’ve literally seen obi-wan get seven kinds of Beat Up and we’re like Yes. Perfection. Love it.
#Kenobi#obi wan kenobi#grandfather maybe#this is my new favourite quote#babie leia is literally perfection#teeny tiny force of I’ll Fuck You Up
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RB with which family member, country, and region if you wanna!
#I have a version of my maternal grandfather's name#my youngest cousin is named after my brother but if i was having kids i would definitely name after him no hesitation#usa family sprinkled in midwest south and deep south#my dad is named after his dad#hilariously my grandmother picked out outlandish and weird names for my mom and her siblings just to buck tradition#my mom loved the family names and said they made her feel connected#so enthusiastically went that direction with us after growing up with quote *weird names* lol#one of my good friends lost her twin bro in a car crash and named her daughter after him so i'm wondering if this is a regional thing?
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“The thing about a story is that you dream it as you tell it, hoping that others might then dream along with you, and in this way memory and imagination and language combine to make spirits in the head. There is the illusion of aliveness.”
― Tim O'Brien, The Things They Carried
#book quotes#booklr#this book really made me cry a lot because my grandfather was a Nam vet and I always tell fond memories about him#this quote really just captures how it feels every time
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Bert Meyers, Driving Home at Night with My Children After Their Grandfather’s Funeral
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just found out my grandmother’s grave has just her name, birth-death, and “his wife” on it ☹️ damn
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grandpa shigeki is everything to me
#he reminds me of my own grandfather#except shigeki is more quote unquote redeemable#buddy daddies#daughter daddies#buddy daddies shigeki#shigeki suwa#suwa shigeki
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[from my Grandfather’s photo files: portrait of my Grandmother: Gilbert Minnesota 1918]
* * * * *
The Snow Is Deep on the Ground
BY KENNETH PATCHEN
The snow is deep on the ground.
Always the light falls
Softly down on the hair of my belovèd.
This is a good world.
The war has failed.
God shall not forget us.
Who made the snow waits where love is.
Only a few go mad.
The sky moves in its whiteness
Like the withered hand of an old king.
God shall not forget us.
Who made the sky knows of our love.
The snow is beautiful on the ground.
And always the lights of heaven glow
Softly down on the hair of my belovèd.
#quotes#poetry#poem#words and writing#Kenneth Patchen#The Snow Is Deep on the Ground#Gilbert Minnesota#1918#My Grandfather#CTBen's 1910s#C.T.Ben#C.T.Ben's photo albums#Janet
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