She makes me warm all over and flowers bloom inside me. I love her so much.

Fuck you both for making me cry over you again. Both of you in one day.

And fuck you too, because there’s no way you didn’t know. And you broke their heart once upon a time. I was there to try to put it back together. But they still wanted you. If you hurt them, I will never forgive you.

But I won’t ever forgive, you either. You’re no saint because even after all I did for you, you still broke my heart. I never did anything but try to be there for you. But try to love you. Because I was in love with you. I opened up to you about so many fucking things that very few people actually know. And yet… here we are. I guess I always should have known it was going to be like this. I should be used to this by now.

But it still hurts.

And after so long not seeing your face I was finally recovering. But then you had to come along and do that to me. To remind me that I was in love with them. That I potentially still am. And I fucking hate to admit that. Especially because you lied to me. You might not have realized it but you did. You were waiting for him. The whole time you were waiting for him to want you back. And the whole time I was just here hopelessly in love. Not knowing that it was going to end in flames. I wish I could hate you for that but I don’t. I still want to love you. I still think about being in your life. I won’t go back, but I think about you. And I hate that more than anything.

took a run thru yr socials today

as im sure you would hate

but if you end up seeing this

looks like you do the same

it always trips me out remembering you’re married

like damn

that’s some permanent shit

more than positive you hate me just as much as you did when we stopped talking

im ok with that though

and i wouldn’t try to convince you otherwise

you have your reasons and they’re all valid

hope you’re doing better these days though

if and when you remember this i just want you to know its okay and you're okay and I've got you and its okay and it's okay and I love you so very much and its okay

12 yr old Annabeth: i can't wait for this quest. I will assist the gods in whatever they need

Hera: so I need-

17 yr old Annabeth: can you shut the fuck up, Hera?

Its so cute, and slightly crazy, how fast you can spoil a woman.

I've had to call my wife an Uber twice now. Once because she wasn't getting a signal and a second time cuz she got a wee bit to drunk at a brunch party and I was at work.

Both times I got the lux option because the wait time for the regulars was crazy. And the price difference was only a few extra dollars(like $7) so why not. But both times I got showered with praise for getting her a fancy car. Lol.

Now for clarity, me personally, I usually will take the cheapest option for myself. Before the pandemic id always choose the shared ride. Even now, those wait and save options where it's like "We'll pick you up sometime today" and it saves you barely $5. Still go with that. So I kinda justify it in my head to splurge a bit on her.

So today she's going out with a friend and turns to me and says

Can you get me a black car for tonight?

Whet? Lol?

An unprompted request?

She smiled, I laughed and said no.😅

She makes me realize I’m the luckiest girl in the world.

I don’t know that you’ll ever truly understand the gravity of how much you genuinely messed up my head when you did what you did. And I wish that wasn’t true. Some days I want nothing more than to speak to you again. Your words felt like they held me. Your arms felt like home. Talking to you about everything and nothing at all always felt so right. That night that we spent hours sitting in your car talking, just talking, in front of that coffee shop, in front of my house, felt like something was happening. I remember you telling me it made you nervous to admit feelings to me, because you knew I liked girls but you didn’t know what that meant. That it made you scared and that was why you deleted messages. That you wanted to tell me before someone else did that you were involved with our mutual friends once upon a time but you really cared about me. I thought all of that was not only sweet and endearing, but really incredibly kind. No one before you had ever cared that much about my feelings in that way.

Just when I felt like we were getting somewhere you pulled the rug out from under me and I hated that feeling. All of those words just became words. More lies to add to the ones I had already been told by others before you. I was so incredibly willing to forgive you when you apologized. To try again. But you walked away at that point and I think it was just all over them and there. In your mind, I no longer existed either at all or in the same capacity that I used to. I occupied significantly less mind space but the same was not true for me of you.

Sometimes I hate that.

Sometimes I wish I could still speak to you about everything and nothing. But I don’t think I could ever let you back in in any capacity. Even for as much as I want to.

Once upon a time I wished I could have told you I loved you. But I think, mercifully, that is the one thing I have gotten past.

Perpetually thinking about you, and sincerely hating it,

Nadie.

Non Non Biyori Repeat

Episode 3 end card by To-a

I teach fractions with an Australian accent b/c the denominator is 'down under'. And my accent is getting pretty good!!

Be kind