#those r real quotes also I’m not making those up. people would say that shit on every fuckimg post. and I mean ever post
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fondly remembering two years ago when I said I don’t like those pedro pascal reader insert fics because they were annoying on top of being gross and I got dozens of screaming essays in my inbox calling me a cunt and accusing me of ruining the fandom for like a straight week and now those same people are joining in on the finger wagging about calling pedro pascal daddy and pretending like they weren’t the ones who were calling him shit like “chilean cock monster” and saying they have “jungle fever” for finding him hot and screaming DADDY🥵🥵🥵 in the tags and replies of literally every single post about the mandalorian on this website
#racism tw#xenophobia tw#using both tags to cover my bases I’m aware he’s white dw#but for like 2 years straight u guys did that and now it’s all omg respect his boundaries….. he’s a person…..#those r real quotes also I’m not making those up. people would say that shit on every fuckimg post. and I mean ever post
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I realize it’s THE SUN but it annoyed me
No idea who said this and it reads as a half-baked, inexperienced publicist frantically trying to protect an actress at the direction of her managers, but you know, it’s got my professional back up.
I frankly doubt this is even one of Sweeney’s people working on her behalf because that girl isn’t stupid and her team is better than that at this shit. They’d just drop a line or two to Deux Moi and Page 6, not the Sun. that’s not her audience.
Disclaiming: No one not involved knows the story and I frankly don’t care who is with whom but this SUN article ticked me off so I’m going to vent right now.
Humour me and let me deconstruct this article for all the many PR oops in it:
Quote 1:
"[Sweeney] doesn't want or need this attention and, to be frank, this is Glen's problem for letting his relationship with Gigi get out of control and for being so public about his personal life on social media."
Pretty sure GP didn't expect his apparently now-ex girlfriend to go passive-aggressive bunny-boiler (yes, I said it and I am so not sorry) on the ‘gram and try to impact the career he's busted his ass trying to build. Those posts? Human scorned shit has a short shelf life and always backfires on the person who goes low in Hollywood. See also Brad and Angelina at the moment.
Two mistakes: blaming the guy for his ex publicly pulling shit on her personal instagram while blaming the guy for also leaving what clearly became an unpleasant relationship, while also implying he should have ‘controlled’ his ex and was responsible for parenting her behavior online!
Sympathy is going to turn towards Powell if it turns out there really is nothing going down but acting to sell the movie happening and this article will age really poorly.
Also: the extent of his being public was, this is my girlfriend. [shares photo, red carpet thing]. Pretty sure that has been the exact same extent of Sweeney’s stuff with her BF, who by the by - and yes, I am going there - Sweeney’s supposed BF is 39. She is 25. If they have been together for 5 years, she was 20 and he was 34 when they hooked up. 14-year age difference.
He could have babysat her before he got his high school diploma. Just saying. The ick is strong with this one, IMHO, and the public (esp the woke part) post-me-too is not fond of that, optically speaking. They aren't the great Leo DiCaprio and people are even tired of that crap from him now.
QUOTE 2:
"If she and Glen were closer, she'd tell him to handle his problems privately instead of letting them bleed into social media," the pal added to The U.S. Sun. "But the fact is, she and Glen don't have much of a personal relationship at all beyond the making of this movie.”
Most people don’t have a personal relationship with people they just met. Weird how that works, yeah? Except she also hung out with his sisters, his niece and nephew, and his parents while shooting an extremely R-rated sex comedy with him with nudity and an intimacy coordinator.
So from their perspective, I guess that means Powell probably would have been okay with an apparently strictly professional acquaintance [activating sarcasm font] criticizing him for his angry ex-girlfriend going passive vindictive on instagram for attention.
We’re all fine with ‘near-strangers’ doing that to us, aren't we? ::insert eyeroll::
QUOTE 3:
"Glen's real-life girlfriend problems are now infecting how people will perceive this project before they've even had the chance to market it.”
Oh, honey. No. No, sweet summer child. No.
The *only* reason *anyone* is talking about this project is BECAUSE of the chemistry between Glen and Sydney. Otherwise, it’s just another rom-com. Now it’s - as Lainey pointed out - ShoWest Mr and Mrs Smith territory.
It’s a rom-com, the believability of the leads doing the rom-ing IS the market strategy.
The PR teams at Sony are loving this because they could not have begged for better press for this flick, even if this pushed JLaw, Denzel, and the Barbie movie off the front pages of the news cycle. Everyone has actually heard this film is coming out now and will probably be dying to see what the what is about it. Wouldn’t be surprised if this got fast-edit for October now.
QUOTE 4:
"It's distracting and annoying as hell and Sydney loathes that she's been publicly dragged into this."
If *that* was Loathing in Las Vegas, then she is a much better actress than I and most of the film industry have given her credit for. Period.
Lastly:
I said it before and I’ll say it again: no man has his sister and her family with young kids, his parents, and his other sister and her BF around AND screws around on his girlfriend in front of them. In fact, I kinda suspect he had them there in order to try and prevent this kind of story because who screws around on their GF in front of their immediate family? He had them down there to avoid this and guess what, it backfired. Why?
Gigi wanted a bit of satisfaction for not getting to be Hangman’s WSO any longer because who TF in the entertainment industry cares who Gigi Paris is when she isn’t Glen Powell’s girlfriend? {Hate me but you know I am right!]
If she hadn’t said a damn thing when they split, none of this news coverage would exist and no one who didn’t follow Glen Powell would have ever heard her name.
Let me tell you how the industry is going to see this situation in about a week:
Glen Powell’s now ex-girlfriend - a model who, while attractive, is just a model among many in LA and NYC - did not handle it well when their rocky relationship finally ended. Despite the brouhaha, Glen Powell showed up and worked his ass off (despite the personal tumult and embarrassment) to sell the movie he was paid to make while he's being dragged through the mud. And he was a consummate professional and he didn't sink to anyone’s level either.
The chemistry with his blonde-of-the-moment co-star Sydney Sweeney (see also Margot Robbie/Will Smith and JLaw/Helmsworth) was hot enough to dominate the entertainment social news cycle globally for 48 hours now because everyone was interested in a rom-com where people actually had chemistry. (Ghosted is bad, Your Place or Mine was worse, and the best part about The Lost City was Daniel Radcliffe and Sandra Bullock’s scenes together.)
And after all that: Powell still showed up to do prep for Twisters in Oklahoma without being a dramatic diva about the shitstorm his life became in April 2023 because he left a dead-end relationship?
Producers are loving what they’re seeing from him. Family-oriented, clean-cut gentleman who can handle his emotions and still work? Christmas came early!
Whoever this “friend” of Sweeney’s is, it would have been better for them to have kept their mouth shut and let this fade out quietly. That piece did her no favours, especially after that red carpet in Vegas because whoever did that just tried to throw her co-star under the bus to explain it all away and all the other actors in the industry are going to remember that.
And that is the way I see that SUN piece.
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i had ANOTHER dream abt miraculous ladybug and this ones a LONG one. it didnt have your artstyle but time paris DID have lovely architecture such as: the bigass hollow tree stumps in breath of the wild, u know the ones big enough to fit a shrine and a half. anyway, the final battle is Happening, people get to wonder if hawkmoth is gonna bite the dust in real time bc its being televised. this is all taking place smth like 3 yrs in the future from season 4 of the show. so theyre like uhhhh Older Teens and certifiably Tired Of All This Shit. so! at the bottom of one of those tree stumps, cat noir’s identity is going to be revealed! oh no!! hes in a #crisis of the soul mostly bc getting revealed would be Bad but also he doesnt feel like hes helping ladybug anymore. he doesnt feel trusted. a classic tale of the villain manipulating a traumatized teen. and ladybug (looking out over a roof and yelling at the top of her lungs) is like “ABSOLUTELY NOT YOU LEAVE MY PARTNER ALONE.” and bribes hawkmoth away by dangling her own secret identity in front of him like a worm on a hook. it works a little too well. her identity gets revealed! cat noir is safe but in the shuffle hes lost his miraculous and marinette picks it up. shes got both and puts them on. tikki and plagg are like “MARINETTE ITS SO DANGEROUS TO WEAR BOTH AT THE SAME TIME” and shes like “im going to punch hawkmoth in the face” and off she goes.
cat noir is nowhere to be found bc now hes adrian! and she doesnt know that! but he knows shes marinette! drama! so now ladybug is re transformed (without activating the black cat miraculous) and is whaling on hawkmoth. she crashes thru my house which is definitely not in paris and tells me and my sibs we have to get out NOW so we book it and its at this point the dream reveals to me that mylene’s mom is chinese and i sit there like Now Hold On A Minute and my mom says “i told u so!” and i tell her “you dont even watch the show???” mylene was wearing a green cheongsam. i don’t tend to ask questions. also by this point i made a mental note to tell u abt this bc it only gets more batshit.
ladybug told us (and everyone that was running away which was a lot of ppl) that if they find cat noir they shld tell him that ladybug loves him. then she has this Stellar idea. she finds nadja chamack and her camera (bc theres only two newspeople in all of paris and one of them runs reality tv) and is like “hi i need to get a message out to cat noir.” when the camera is situated on her (mind u ms chamack is VERY aware that this is her daughters babysitter and is currently holding hawkmoth in a chokehold) she says “im sorry cat noir. you believed in me and trusted me since day one and i couldnt extend you the same courtesy. i was wrong. there is no one else who can wield the black cat miraculous, no one else i would trust with the power of destruction. meet me at our normal rendezvous point so i can give back what is yours.” its all very heartfelt but undercut by the fact that hawkmoth’s bitch ass is shouting explicatives next to her. the fight resumes. she gets slammed into a wall á la every anime fight ever and manages to hide before getting to the roof where she’s waiting for cat noir. shes in a right amount of pain and tikki is running her mouth abt danger and injuries etc. marinette Will Not Move until cat noir shows up. and he does! adrian arrives! when marinette sees him she starts laughing and crying. adrian is rightfully confused. is this a good thing? is this a bad thing? did she hit her head? (yes to all 3.) marinette says “i have been in love with you since 10th grade.” (were they in 10th grade? i do not know.) adrian says “and ive been busy being in love with ladybug.” and then she apologizes again, gives him the ring back, they hug, kick ass and meet up in her room.
if it feels like we’re going rlly fast now its bc we are. the dream was pretty much a montage at this point. hawkmoth is arrested, the world knows who ladybug is, adrian is an orphan, nathalie is still sick, and marinettes parents r thinking that their kid has nearly died MULTIPLE TIMES and they never knew. also luka is under that bridge going “oh fuck.” marinette is in her room trying to explain what will happen next to alya and nino. alya says “i had to tell nino”and marinette says “i am beyond the point of anger. but whatever.” cat noir falls thru her sunroof and they hug (again, there was so much hugging in this dream to make up for the complete lack of hugging in the actual show) and alya + nino are like “uhhh awkward.” the last convo i don’t have quotes for bc at this point my alarm was ringing but it was something abt how marinette cant be ladybug or hold the miracle box and she wld want alya to be the holder but NINO knows and nino Cant Know. but cat noir doesnt want marinette to lose her memories! but People Know. the conclusion was they have to talk to chloe abt how to navigate paparazzi. this is my chloe-and-marinette-could-be-friends agenda. ok i think thats EVERYTHING. if u read all that godspeed, drink water. OH. FINAL THOUGHT. ADRIAN HAD LONG BEAUTIFUL HAIR WHICH IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ALL OF THIS. he had model-brand stubble and sharper teeth than he should.
sometimes I’m peeved that tumblr increased the character limit for asks to be higher than 500 characters, and other times I get
1k word asks about miraculous ladybug dreams, and I think that’s beautiful
I do unironically love the part about Chloe helping Marinette navigate paparazzi, rip to her canon character development
#also I love ‘meet me on the roof at our usual spot’#but he DOESNT HAVE HIS MIRACULOUS#NCBDBSHDHGJG#HOW DID HE GET UP THERE#miraculous ladybug
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kinda weird and odly specific (fem) stozier bff head cannons !!!
stan has only ever let her bare feet out around richie
they quote the twins from like that one snl sketch. wait lemme specify. this one and they quote all the john mulany ones. like “we’re so close we finish eachother..” “off”. “his bootys real” “but my personality is fake”
they do those smule duets together and it’s a hot fucking mess but kinda good???
stupid. fucking. tiktoks.
so many
richie insists that they only do like one but they’re both on a friendship high and end up making like 20 and they’re all messy yet funny and good
a few of them blew up
cause why wouldn’t they. like you take richie, an actual comedian, and stan, an actual comedian who just won’t get paid for it. and you get comedic genius with the right amount of fruityness
ew no but matching pjs at sleepovers omg
sleepovers would either be like “we need sleep but you’re at my house” or “almost breaking something whilst having an amazing time and oh wow how did that get in your hair”
stan does richies hair at least once a month and she keeps telling richie to just do her hair like this and it’ll look this good all the time and richie keeps saying she will but noooooooo she doesn’t cause she’s a little dirt girl who has to look messy
they make the weirdest but best snacks together (i used to dip cabbage in lemonade, it was bomb)
they make little cooking videos/vlogs but it’s just stan looking tired and doing a good job, richie getting lost and confused and both of them losing everything they put down
“anyway now we need the spatula to mix it all up… where is the spatula” “how tf would i know dumbass you had it last” “okay don’t be mean stancy but seriously where is it i just had it” “bro i don’t know just retrace your steps or something idk… wait no where tf is it it’s not here” “see what i mean???” *confused looking* “omg where is it” “it’s gonna burn !” “no ! we made that together ! where is it !!!” *even more confused and stressed looking* “I DONT KNOW “ *harmonised screaming* “wait no no no it’s fine i’ll just turn the heat off for now” “oh thank god you’ve saved us,,, wait nvm no need i found it !” “where was it?” “oh the counter right next to us” “omg”
they’re the only ones who can see each others like ugly cackle only for bff snorty loud yet so silent laugh (please tell me you know what one i’m talking about)
the amount of times they’ve gotten in trouble for laughing so much omg
one time richie made them “hold hands” with their feet
she got punched but she got a picture so it’s worth it
their contact photos for eachother are the both best and worst pictures they have of the other
no other losers can see them
stozier eyes only
they definitely had one of those joint bff instagram accounts when they were like 12
omg musically
they had a shared account on musically too and it is the best thing ever made
HOLY SHIT ITS A GOLD MINE
“honey you already know i’m the slomo queen” and it’s just them doing some stupid ass spin with glasses on or something
stan has glasses
reading kinda glasses not like richies blind ass ones
omg no stan being farsighted is so funny to me tho i’ve thought about it before
like she can see birds like a mile away but walks into every fucking pole ever
she just can’t see them (how?? idk)
they share clothes
obviously
but when one of them comes over to the others house for a sleepover they just immediately change into whatever clothes is there
shared wardrobe
y’know my dad once put on my sisters jeans and they fit
sorry back on topic
i hate to be the one to say it but
they were each other’s first kiss and you can not tell me they weren’t
it’s up to you how it happens but it did
stans scared of spiders and richie takes advantage of that as much as possible (within reason she’s not an asshole)
she used the like spider on your face filter r to scare stan and it worked
she horror screams every time
THIS MASSIVE FUCKING SPIDER JUST CRAWLED OVER ME AND ITS LOST WTF
no no no fuck this no no
FUCK WHAT THE FUCK FUCK OFF NO
kms
i meant “i’m” but like yeah sure
anyways i’m sleeping downstairs tonight
they make up insane stories about stans bat mitzvah bc they were the only losers there
they shoot the straw wrappers at each other no doubt
have been mistaken for a couple too many times to count
they hold hands when they’re out and about (cause stan feels anxious and needs constant reassurance that she’s not gonna be left alone, also cause bffs)
they’ve got like ten of the bff necklaces and bracelets
like those wee bacon and egg ones that have the words “best” and “friends” on it
(stan got the bacon one)
they’re both lactose intolerant but have ice cream dates
whenever they have like picnics stan always brings perfectly cut fruit and nice sandwiches and food and stuff and richie brings all the snacks that they both like
stans like the mum who makes the cute little bentos
soup making omg
they’ve 100% cosplayed like heather chandler and veronica and like oh god i don’t wanna say it but bakudeku HDHSJXBHXHAJSNSN
i’m sorry but it’s funny
it was unintentional at first tho
richie was doing the deku voice for a tiktok and stan was telling her to stfu and people ran with it
WHY IS THAT SO FUNNYHXVSHXB BHSKSMSM N JEJNS
they’ve definitely ugly cried together
well of course
but it still had to be said
and like cuddles awwwwww
also they genuinely love eachother
whether it’s romantic or platonic they are like soulmates to me
well to me all the losers are soulmates but stozier are just the ultimate best friends
okay y’know what i’m gonna end this here
also i have no clue how to do the read more things apologies
oh and if anyone has any tips on how to do it in the mobile that would be so appreciated !!!
#the losers club#fem losers club#losers club#stan uris#stanley uris#richie tozier#it movie#it#it fandom#it headcannons#it hcs#the losers club hc’s#the losers club headcannons#stozier
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Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.2
Also yes this is a 5 part story arc, why do you ask, no I’m not “avoiding real life work”
Main Chat
Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW THERE ARE THOSE WHO WOULD COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING DRAGGED OUT OF BED AT AN UNGODLY HOUR FOR THE SAKE OF SOME JEWELRY AND FORCED INTO AN ADVENTURE
Wu Xie: And we are just so grateful you are above all that.
Zhang Qiling: You were fully awake and insisted we pack and go as soon as possible in case there was, and I quote, “more weird shit happening we can cash in on.”
Wu Xie: I mean it’s kind of interesting that the Zhang family sent a car for us. We could have driven. So what is going on there, I wonder?
Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW FOR A PARANOID AND CONNIVING LITTLE SHIT YOU STILL RADIATE OBLIVIOUS BAMBI ENERGY
HATE TO BE THE ADMIRAL ACKBAR HERE BUT ITS DEF A TRAP MY BOY
WHY DO U THINK WE ARE MESSAGING AND NOT TALKING DUMMY
WERE YOU IN A TOMB ON THE DAY THEY TAUGHT PPL STRANGER DANGER
BUT NO NO YOU WERE ALL “LETS GET IN THE VAN WITH THE FREE CANDY AND PUPPIES I BET WE’RE GOING TO THE CIRCUS”
THIS IS THE LAST STRAW IM LOJACKING YOU FOR REAL THIS TIME, SHOULDVE DONE THIS YEARS AGO
Zhang Qiling: I agree, in this particular case, with Pangzi. You should not have gotten in their vehicle while we were still inside the house. It forced us to follow you into the van to prevent separation, and they seemed to be expecting that. I don’t know whether Zhang Rishan intended this, but I don’t trust him.
Wu Xie: :( I got excited and didn’t think it through. I’m sorry.
Wang Pangzi: DONT YOU GIVE US THE BIG EYES WE ARE IMMUNE
MOSTLY
SPEAKING OF IMMUNE ITS REALLY FUCKIN COLD IN HERE AND UR STILL SICK, PUT YOUR JACKET ON STUPID
Wu Xie: oh relax, I’m fine. No fever at all today, remember? I feel a lot better, too.
Wang Pangzi: YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE BUT TO HAVE XIAO GE INTERVENE
Zhang Qiling: It is odd to say this, but Pangzi is right again. You are barely back on your feet and could easily get worse again. Wu Xie. Jacket. Now.
Wu Xie: Oh fine. Teaming up on me, I see. Happy now?
Wang Pangzi: FUCKING ECSTATIC. NOW BACK TO HOW WE MAY BE PULLING A LI CU
Wu Xie: If it is an abduction, it wouldn’t be them moving against the whole Wu family—not with Uncle Erbai in charge. Zhang Rishan strikes me as someone who doesn’t make a move unless he is sure of his plan, and this is all a bit last-minute to be a big shift. Besides, they let Xiao Ge keep his sword and we still have all our phones.
Wang Pangzi: TOOK AWAY MY EXPLOSIVES THO THE BASTARDS
Zhang Qiling: In fairness, you were waving them around and yelling that if they tried anything it was going to be “yippeekiyay motherfucker all up in this bitch.”
Wang Pangzi: IT SOUNDS LESS COOL COMING FROM YOU. I THINK I SEE THE TEAHOUSE?
Wu Xie: me too. That’s Zhang Rishan on the steps. This must be urgent. Everybody stay shiny.
Zhang Qiling: I will be getting out first. Wu Xie in the middle, Pangzi at the rear.
Wang Pangzi: AND WHAT A VIEW;)
An hour later…
Main Chat
Wu Xie: Is everyone okay? I tried knocking but nothing is getting through, these are some solid walls.
Wu Xie: guys???
Wang Pangzi: OOPS PHONE WAS ON SILENT AND I WAS BUSY YELLING AT THE CEILING
IM PRESENT AND PISSED OFF
Zhang Qiling: Apologies, I was trying to break down the door.
Wang Pangzi: SO THIS MAY NOT BE THE TIME TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO BUT WHILE WE’RE HERE
Wu Xie: fuck Pangzi, I know, okay??
I’m an idiot, I’m so fucking stupid. It’s not like it’s the first or fiftieth time I’ve put you two in danger, either.
Wang Pangzi: HEY HEY WHOA NOW
STOP SAYING RUDE SHIT ABOUT MY FRIEND
ITS GONNA BE OKAY
DESPITE KNOWING THIS WAS A BAD IDEA I STILL COULDNT PREDICT HOW MUCH CHAOTIC LUCK THIS FAMILY HAS
DAMN IT I HATE WHEN HEI XIAZI IS RIGHT ABOUT THINGS
Zhang Qiling: I’m sorry. This is my fault. My line has a ruthlessly pragmatic streak and they’ve clearly wanted to test us separately to see why the necklace reacted to our arrival like that. It does not excuse Zhang Rishan trapping us in these separate rooms.
Wang Pangzi: UHH BITCH I SAID THIS FAMILY NOT YOUR FAMILY
THIS AINT ABOUT THEM
YOUR FAMILY IS ON MY SHIT LIST EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY
THIS FAMILY MEANT US OBVS
UGH ANY SIGN OF THE BASTARDS?
Zhang Qiling: no. Wu Xie?
Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie, answer me.
Wang Pangzi: WU XIE
TIANZHEN
PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE DAMNIT YOU'RE SCARING XIAOGE
Zhang Qiling: I’m going to try breaking down the door again.
Wu Xie: Hello, Wang Pangzi and Zhang Qiling. My apologies for the rather inhospitable circumstances, but this seemed expedient considering the unknown qualities of the necklace. I could not be sure who was causing what, or what could happen next, and thus have temporarily set you in separate rooms for the sake of everyone’s safety.
Wang Pangzi: WTF GIVE HIM BACK HIS FUCKIN PHONE ZHANG RISHAN I KNOW ITS YOU YOU PRETENTIOUS ANTIQUE
WE DESTROYED THIS PLACE BEFORE AND WE CAN DO IT AGAIN
Zhang Qiling: Your concerns for everyone’s safety are noted. Thank you for whatever you believe you’ve done right here.
Now. If you release us immediately and return Wu Xie to us, we will consider leaving without direct personal retribution.
Wang Pangzi: WHAT HE SAID AND ALSO YOU SUCK
Wu Xie: I regret that this has happened, I hope to make it up to you in the future. For the purpose of today’s needs, however—I will have my men escort the two of you out if you so desire, but unfortunately Wu Xie will need to stay until we have finished examining him.
Wang Pangzi: EXAMINING??? YOU FUCKING PERV HANDS OFF HE MAY BE THE BELLE OF THE BALL BUT HIS DANCE CARD IS SPOKEN FOR
I SWEAR I DID NOT GO THROUGH TEN YEARS OF THIS STARCROSSED CLUSTERFUCK FOR YOU TO SWOOP IN AND STEAL MY FRIENDS BF
Wu Xie: There is no call for rudeness. He will not be harmed. The artifact was responding to him directly. It has not lit up like this in over 200 years, and I need to understand why it is responding, and responding to someone who is not our kin, which it has never done before. This could have implications for everyone in my family if it could protect someone at the right moment.
Wang Pangzi: OKAY BUT CONSIDERING OUR TRACK RECORD IN THIS BUILDING AND THE SITUATION AT HAND Y’ALL ARE ABOUT TO NEED PROTECTION
Wu Xie: The testing would be going better if Wu Xie wasn’t worrying himself unnecessarily over where you both are, it’s making our readings difficult.
Wang Pangzi: OH GEE SO SORRY YOUR KIDNAPPING VICTIMS ARENT THRILLED TO BE HERE TO SAMPLE YOUR CREEPY JEWELRY BOX BUT THAT SOUNDS LIKE A YOU PROBLEM
Zhang Qiling: Zhang Rishan. I appreciate that you must think of our family first in your decisions. As must I. I hope you can appreciate what that means for decisions I make.
Wang Pangzi: HEHEHE SO TRUE BESTIE
YOU PISSED OFF THE WRONG GOTH TODAY BUDDY BOY
Zhang Qiling: A compromise: we stay with him as you run your tests. That will calm him and assuage Pangzi’s concerns and prevent me from…testing the limits of your lifespan.
Wu Xie: I accept that this may temporarily impact our relations, but am hopeful that you will come to understand that sometimes I need to make certain choices for this family that are…difficult. I will come to let you—One moment. Something seems to be happening.
Babysitters Club Chat
Wang Pangzi: OH SO WE ARE GONNA JUST POLITELY SIT WITH WU XIE AS STRANGERS POKE HIM WITH NEEDLES ARE WE HUH WELL LOOK WHOS BEING A HELPFUL LITTLE LAB ASSISTANT
Zhang Qiling: I’m attempting to convince him to let us out. Of course we will not simply sit there. Some lying to gain trust is necessary here.
Wang Pangzi: UR BEIN A SHADY BITCH XIAOGE AND ITS HOT
THATS WHY YOUR TATTOO IS SO BIG ITS FULL OF SECRETS
ALWAYS KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU TO—WAIT WHAT WAS THAT SOUND??
At the same time…
Bonnie and Clyde Chat
Xie Yuchen: …so, this is not what I expected to find.
Hei Yangjing: yeah kiddo is a bit freaked out:/ this sucks. I mean I get that they are concerned blah blah blah necklace goes brightbright but maybe we should go find the other two
or at least find a way to let Wu Xie know we are here, that room he’s in looks like a dungeon and not in a good way
Xie Yuchen: Does it look like I’m able to do anything right now? Also, I’m fairly certain they won’t be harmed. Zhang Rishan may be callous, but he isn’t stupid.
Hei Yangjing: r u kidding
he split up Romeo and Juliet, then left Romeo with a sword—seems pretty stupid to me
Xie Yuchen: Yeah I’m not going near that. He made his bed with that choice. What can you see? These Neanderthal guards are blocking my view.
Hei Yangjing: uh so there’s like a lab table situation
Wu Xie isn’t tied up, a good sign in this context
I can’t see what those people are holding, they’re talking a lot and some asshole just grabbed Wu Xie’s arm, looks like maybe they are putting in an IV?
The necklace is—oh. Oh shit.
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An analysis of SolKy
Hello! Thank you so much for clicking on this. A while ago, I was asked to do an essay explaining why people ship SolKy other than the whole rivals/opposites attract reason, and I got a lot of feedback stating it was useful for newcomers to the ship! As a result I’ve decided to post this on tumblr, but just on the ship’s tag as to not bother uninterested people.
A couple of disclaimers before I begin. This is firstly just my own opinion, so whilst it makes sense for me, other shippers may disagree with my points. I’m also not claiming they are canon because they are not. But I do hope it’ll give some insight into why some people like me enjoy them together.
Even once you’ve read this essay, you can still dislike SolKy. This isn’t an essay stating you have to ship them.
This will be extremely long as I basically cover every single interaction they’ve ever had with each other since I know some people sort of gloss over their dialogue, so grab yourself a drink, get comfy, and I hope you enjoy reading!
(Last edited: 09/05/2021. This will be updated again when Strive releases!)
How this all began
If we’re starting right at the beginning, it’s common knowledge that Ky and Sol weren’t exactly on great terms and often clashed most of the time due to their conflicting beliefs. Ky saw the world in terms of black and white, and had very strict rules on what constituted as right and wrong. Sol seemed to think differently and went against that, which was a stark contrast compared to the other Order members at the time.
Considering that they were in fact, in the middle of a war, you would think that generally people would be willing to put their differences aside and work together.
But Sol wasn’t like everyone else, going off and doing his own thing instead of actually listening to orders, so it’s understandable why Ky found him rather irritating.
However, Ky did grow curious of Sol. Obviously curiosity does not equate to love, but it is the basis of Ky wanting to become more friendly with and know more about Sol. There seemed to be something that Sol knew but Ky didn’t, but how was that possible..? As a result, despite how infuriating he could be, Ky sought to seek out the truth and so fought him for answers.
In regards to why exactly they fight (aside from the fact that this is a fighting game), Ishiwatari wrote something called ‘Hostility is Akin to Love’ right above a picture of them fighting:
Hostility is akin to love
Thinking of your opponent’s actions to fight,
Reading your opponent’s inner thoughts to fight,
Planning attacks that will hit your opponent to fight,
And then transmitting your thoughts with those attacks,
The more you think of your own advantage, at the same time you think of your opponent,
In the instant you mix with your opponent, a passionate feeling arises, and blood boils,
Reality is hurt, and you wound your opponent,
Hostility is akin to love.
— Guilty Gear Isuka Mook
It states how fighting someone can be close to feelings of love because you have to think about what your opponent is doing, as well as how you’re going to respond to your opponent. Overtime, you start to memorise how your opponent thinks, and as a result you’ll know them on a deeper level.
So considering the above, this explains how even though they weren’t on friendly terms, they still formed a bond with one another.
Now we’ve established how exactly their relationship started, and why Ky was curious about Sol in the first place, let’s look at things from Sol’s perspective.
Sol’s attitude towards Ky
We know that Sol was also pretty annoyed by Ky, which was totally justifiable given the extreme way in which Ky thought the world worked. But Sol didn’t exactly dislike Ky.
In order to provide some evidence that Sol cares about Ky, let’s cover that infamous scene everyone likes to reference which shows Sol crying over Ky’s dead body:
Sol: "I came to pick you up."
Ky: "Always coming late... you never could fix that..."
Sol: "You..."
Ky: "As to be expected... until the very end... I could never beat you..."
Sol: "Don't say anything!"
Ky: "I have... a request..."
Sol: "I said shut up!"
Ky: "After Commander Kliff... carry on... the Holy Order..."
Sol: "Stop it... that's your job!"
Ky: "Please... promise me..."
Sol: "Dammit..."
Ky: "If it's you... you can do..."
Sol: "Hey.... what's wrong. Hey! KYYYYYY!"
— Guilty Gear XX Drama CD Side Red, Battle of Rome — Deathmatch
A lot of people bring this quote up when discussing SolKy and yes, it does show Sol cares about Ky considering how Sol never really cares about anyone in general, but the fact that Ky’s death managed to make him emotional shows what an impact Ky had on him. There are however more quotes that show Sol’s feelings.
There’s this scene in the GG Xtra manga, Ky and Sol get attacked by a mountain-sized gear. In order to save them, Sol rips off his limiter and Dragon Installs. This scene is very poignant when you take into consideration what Sol said in After Story A:
Sol: "Back during the Crusades, before we met... Kliff told me this rumour about a prodigy swordsman."
Sol: "If you couldn't guess, that was you. I didn't give a shit at the time..."
Sol: "But then I saw you on the battlefield."
Sol: "I saw someone out there who surpassed all of my expectations. Or perhaps I should say 'something.'"
Sol: "No openings, no wasted movements, no carelessness, no hesitation, no embarrassment, not even any honor. No chivalry or mercy. A being unaffected by emotion."
Sol: "You were a killing machine. Taking down gears with brutal efficiency."
Ky: "...That was a long time ago."
Sol: "I'm not done talking. I've seen the face of the 'serious' Ky."
Sol: "Then one day, you challenged me."
Sol: "You wanna know what I thought right then?"
Ky: "..."
Sol: "I was afraid. Hell, I was scared shitless."
Sol: "'He figured out that I'm a Gear, and he's come to kill me.' That's what I thought."
— Guilty Gear Xrd -REVELATOR-, After Story A
Sol admits that he knows just how scary Ky can be. Since Ky was extremely against Gears, if Ky found out that Sol was a Gear, then Ky would have most likely attempted to kill him. But Sol knew this and was willing to die for Ky’s sake, and transformed anyway:
Ky: "Sol..."
Ky: (Really... that's really..)
Ky: (That's really you!?)
Ky: "SOL!"
Sol: "Shut it..."
Sol: "I didn't do it..."
Sol: "To help you out—...."
— Guilty Gear Xtra, Chapter 5: Unspeakable Thoughts
Going off on a bit of a tangent from Sol’s feelings, but I just want to point out Ky’s state of mind at this point. Ky in this time period was still very anti-Gear, as it was only through this moment and his encounters with Solaria and Dizzy later that made him change his way of thinking. It took a long time for Ky to accept Gears, and he still had the remains of that mindset in him when he had Sin, as he refused to make eye contact with him because Ky was ashamed of having a Gear child. So the fact that Ky knew Sol was a Gear, believed all Gears were evil, but still decided to accept Sol into his life and wanted to support him regardless of that, is interesting.
Back to Sol, another small quote that manages to show Sol’s feelings towards Ky is this:
Sol: (Maybe I'll finish them off while I'm at it...)
Sol: (But that would mean breaking my promise to Ky...)
— Guilty Gear XX Accent Core Plus R, Sol Badguy Path 2
Now, Sol doesn’t care about 99% of what other people do as long as they don’t get in his way. The fact that he intends to keep his promise with Ky suggests that he holds Ky in somewhat ‘high’ regards compared to others.
There’s also this quote that shows Sol is thinking about Ky in Overture:
The frustrations of the man wielding a giant sword were piling day by day, and a familiar face appeared in his head.
What’s he up to right now?
“Hmph, whatever…”
With a feeling of self-contempt, Sol Badguy shook his head.
What am I getting sentimental for?
— Guilty Gear 2: Overture, #0 “Noise”
And when Sol encounters Raven later on after seeing Ky incapacitated, Raven points out how he can tell Sol is upset, meaning Sol’s not really doing a good job of pretending he’s still indifferent to Ky.
Raven: "You're as ruthless as ever, huh, monster?"
Sol: "Look who's talking."
Raven: "Can you not put down your sword and talk? I understand you're upset with Ky Kiske defeated."
Sol: "I'll ask your corpse for answers."
— Guilty Gear 2: Overture, #5 "Gaze of the Chronicle"
Sol’s thoughts about Ky become even clearer during his confrontation with Sin when he’s under the influence of Valentine, where Sol defends Ky’s actions and tries to make Sin understand Ky is not 100% at fault:
Sin: "Can you see it? Can you feel it? This is my real power. This is my mother's strength."
Sol: "But it's light. It must be from your father."
Sin: "Shut up! Don't ever mention him!"
Sin: "He abandoned my mother and me using justice as an excuse!"
Sin: "Who cares about the King!? Who cares about the people!? That man, and that Kingdom, not one of them can protect a damn thing!"
Sol: "I don't give a damn about your family."
Sol: "But you know what, Ky may be a stubborn idiot, but at least he's true to his beliefs."
Sol: "A punk like you is still alive thanks to his justice."
— Guilty Gear 2: Overture, #15 "Roaring Compass"
Okay, that’s the pre-Xrd era for Sol done, now to focus on Ky’s pre-Xrd’s emotions.
Ky’s attitude towards Sol
We’ve established earlier that Ky was annoyed by Sol and disliked him in the Crusades. However, afterwards it seems as if Ky saw himself as friends with Sol:
Ofc1: "All of them seem to have been destroyed by... fire?"
Ofc2: "Yeah... why could that be?"
Ky: "........"
Ky: "Change our course!"
Ky: "Head towards the Eastern United States!"
Ofc1: "May I ask why, Chief Ky?"
Ky: "To meet an old friend."
— Guilty Gear Xtra, Chapter 4: Former Friends
We know that Ky outwardly expressed his first signs of liking Sol when Sol stole the Fuuenken and Ky chased after him, only for Sol to win in their duel, and Ky says this:
Ky: "Promise me one thing..."
Sol: "..What?"
Ky: "We'll meet again."
Sol: "Hmph... Well, if fate brings us together..."
Ky: "..That's fine."
— Guilty Gear XX Accent Core Plus R, Sol Badguy Path 1
It’s pretty interesting that Ky wanted to see Sol again despite how Sol never used to listen to his orders, and how Sol never even tried to act like what the Order expected their men to act like (chivalrous, putting the people first, etc). It at least shows us that Ky saw possibly the potential of becoming friends with Sol. And Sol didn’t even say straight up ‘no’ or ‘in your dreams’ or whatever Badguy-esque notion he usually would’ve done, so we can assume he doesn’t mind seeing Ky again either.
Then they don’t speak to each other properly for 5 years until the tournament that Testament holds, though they have probably ran into each other a few times within those years.
A common misconception people have is that during those 5 years, Ky was obsessed with Sol and would constantly try to find him. Obviously, this is not true. Ky was busy with IPF stuff and Sol was hunting Gears down.
However, it’s not as if Ky completely forgot about Sol — he was just probably at the back of his mind, and Ky does admit that he has been chasing after Sol the most more than anyone else:
Ky: (Waiting outside for me when I left the ship... burning red flames. Soon, they seem to take the shape of a man... and he appears before me. Yes... it's him. The one I've been after the most... it's him.)
— Guilty Gear X Drama CD, Vol. 1: Track Seven — Crater
There’s also these two other quotes:
Ky: (Sol...)
Ky: (Why are you so stubborn about doing things alone?)
— Guilty Gear Xtra, Chapter 5: Unspeakable Thoughts
You can interpret this in two ways: either Ky wants to help Sol out and/or he’s curious as to why Sol always does stuff alone.
And then there’s this:
Ky: "Maintaining peace, law, and order. That is my duty."
Sol: "Whatever..."
Ky: "You and I, we are cut from the same cloth."
Ky: "How long are you going to keep that facade?"
Sol: "..."
Ky: "Answer me Sol!"
— Guilty Gear Judgment, Sol and Ky Ending
Being ‘cut from the same cloth’ is quite a strong statement. The phrase means that Ky thought he and Sol were similar somehow, and that he shared something with Sol. Regardless, the ‘how long are you going to keep that facade’ at least shows that Ky knows Sol is intentionally acting distant/rough/etc. and that its not actually who he is.
Jumping to pre-Overture, just before Ky gives Sin to Sol, Ky is in a really depressive state due to all of the stress he’s been going through. This leads Dizzy to contact Sol. The fact that Sol is called means that Dizzy knows that Sol is possibly the only person who can help Ky at that point, which puts some emphasis on just how much Sol means to Ky or at least affects him.
Before I move onto Xrd, there’s this part where Ky gives his son to Sol. This proves he trusts Sol so much considering he was asking him to take care of Sin for a long period of time.
Ky: “Sol....I want to request something...”
Sol: “...hnn?”
Ky: “My son....Sin..can you take care of him for a while?”
Sol: “...what did you say?”
Ky: “I know it’s unreasonable but...I still want to ask...”
— GG2: Overture Story, Sol's Story
The Xrd era (because it is so long, it needs its own section)
The Xrd era is extremely interesting to me, because Sol and Ky have some more in-depth conversations, and boy, do they have a lot of conversations.
Focusing on Sol first, theres a scene in REV where Sol asks Ky why he isn’t interested in his past:
Sol: "Why don't you ask me already?"
Ky: "Ask you what?"
Sol: "About my past."
Ky: "I can ask you?"
Sol: "I guarantee, it won't be interesting."
Sol: "Every other word that came out of your mouth was 'Duel me,' or 'I challenge you!' You were so eager to fight and..."
Ky: "........"
— Guilty Gear Xrd -REVELATOR-, Story Mode: Chapter 03, Sense A
Given that Ky was constantly pestering Sol about his background in the past, it makes sense why Sol is suddenly a bit confused about Ky’s sudden change in behaviour. But it also shows that Sol wants Ky to know about his past. After ~170+ years of being alive, Sol wants to finally open up to someone again, and he specifically chose Ky for this. It shows in the very least Sol trusts Ky and knows him well enough to decide to let him know about who he used to be.
And then Ky says this, which is basically him just showing Sol how much he cares and understands him:
Ky: "Sol. Of course I have an interest in your past."
Ky: "But wanting to understand someone and trying to understand everything is completely different."
Ky: "Right now, Sol Badguy's future matters much more to me, than Frederick's past."
— Guilty Gear Xrd -REVELATOR-, Story Mode: Chapter 03, Sense A
There’s also this scene in SIGN:
Ky: "I don't know your history."
Ky: "I don't know if you had friends once, or if you fell in love, or why you burn with such hatred for That Man and the Gears..."
Ky: "I don't even know your real name."
Sol: "..."
Ky: "But I do know a great deal about a man named Sol Badguy."
Ky: "Blinded by vengeance, he lost sight of himself, and now he runs from the truth that frightens him."
Sol: "...Say that again."
Ky: "Tomorrow always comes, Sol."
Sol: "..!"
Ky: "If tomorrow promises to be cold and dark, I cannot stand idly by... even if I know my efforts will come to nothing."
Sol: "... The self-righteous apple doesn't fall far from the tree."
Ky: "I don't expect the world to change tomorrow, but I do hope that, today, perhaps my words will reach you."
Ky: "Sol..."
Ky: "I'll be waiting for you. We'll all be waiting for you. Sin, Dizzy..."
Ky: "Once all this is over... come home."
— Guilty Gear Xrd -SIGN-, Story Mode: Chapter 04, Kaleidoscope B
Three things to take away from this:
Ky admits that he doesn’t know anything about Sol’s background, but that he knows a lot about the current Sol, and then goes on to explain how Sol acts. Which to expand on, means that although Ky used to care about Sol’s past, he doesn’t really mind about it anymore because Sol’s past won’t really change much who Sol is to Ky now. Also, the part where Ky explains how Sol was ‘blinded by vengeance,’etc. shows that Ky knows Sol’s current personality well enough in order to be able to distinguish his behaviours. Which is interesting because nobody has been around Sol long enough to be able to know him really well unlike Ky (Aria and Asuka count too, but they were around Sol when he was Frederick, and Sol seems pretty adamant on the idea that he’s a separate person from Frederick.)
‘Come home’ is pretty significant, as it implies that it’s almost like Ky is saying home is with Sin, Dizzy and the Valentines, and so when Sol is done getting revenge on That Man, instead of letting Sol just wander off alone, Ky wants Sol to be a family with them.
The fact that says Ky says ‘I’ll be waiting for you’ separate from ‘we’ll all be waiting for you’ implies that either Ky’s want to wait for Sol is somehow different from everyone else’s or it’s just for the sake of being dramatic. I interpreted this in both ways, as it seems like Ky knows that Sol treats him differently compared to others. So in a sense, by Ky emphasising that he’ll be waiting for Sol, it might make Sol more likely to ‘come home’.
There’s also a scene that shows Ky knows Sol’s personality well:
Ky: "When I look at you, Sol, I see a man who is afraid."
Sol: "... What?"
Ky: "It became clear when I watched you caring for Sin."
Ky: "You work very hard to keep everyone at arm's length."
Sol: "..."
Sol: "I got Gear blood in my veins, and it ain't friendly. It's always there in the back of my head, whispering that I oughta just destroy all of this."
Sol: "The only way I'm gonna get some closure is tracking down That Man and beating some answers out of him."
Sol: "And if he doesn't have 'em..."
Sol: "Then maybe there really isn't a good way to live."
Ky: "That's why you close your heart off."
— Guilty Gear Xrd -SIGN-, Story Mode: Chapter 08, Hope A
There’s also this:
Ky: "Not all people have the strength to stand on their own."
Sol: "..."
Ky: "If only life were simple, and the right path was laid out before each of us..."
Ky: "But even then some would leave it, and some would struggle with walking it. Such is human nature..."
Ky: "The truth is that no path will ever be 'right' for all people. Each of us must find the one we are meant to walk--and sometimes that is where none exists."
Ky: "That is what I learned from you."
— Guilty Gear Xrd -SIGN-, Story Mode: Chapter 08, Hope A
This just shows that Ky actually learnt something from Sol. Which I think is important because Ky is someone who always used to be very strict to his ideals. The fact that he learnt something from Sol that had an impact on his mindset means that Sol actually managed to have a great impact on Ky.
There’s this scene where Sol finds out that Aria isn’t dead when he confronts That Man, and he has somewhat of a mini mental breakdown. So Ky excuses them from the room, and goes outside to talk with Sol:
Ky: "Sol. The grudge you hold is certainly not something that can be taken lightly. And, whatever answer you think you've found, I doubt any of us will be able to stop you from seeing it through..."
Ky: "But we have very little time left. Right now, we need the Gear Maker's help."
Ky: "So, I'm begging you... Just for now. Why don't you stay outside with me."
— Guilty Gear Xrd -REVELATOR-, Story Mode: Chapter 06, Cause A
The last line that Ky says is interesting because it’s obvious that he’s just trying to calm Sol down, and Ky thinks that if he stays with Sol outside for a bit, he’ll be able to help him calm down. Furthermore, Ky thought it was more necessary to pause everything and help Sol out rather than keep listening to the plans of what their next course of action would be.
Ky does have the habit of comforting Sol. One of the more significant moments is whenever Sol refers to himself as a monster:
Ky: "Yes, he took away some of what makes you human, but that doesn't mean he altered your mind or your soul."
Sol: "So what?"
Ky: "I want to believe that you'll fight for the people of this world."
Sol: "Are we seriously having this conversation?"
Sol: "Look, kid. I'm a monster. I'm here to do two things: Destroy That Man, and kill all the other Gears."
— Guilty Gear Xrd -SIGN-, Story Mode: Chapter 04, Kaleidoscope B
To expand a little on Sol’s mindset, it’s common knowledge that Gears were generally in the past regarded as akin to monsters. Now we don’t have any solid proof Sol is referring to himself as a monster because he’s a Gear, or because he feels guilt about the whole Gear Project, etc. But we do know it’s something he’s affected by given that he constantly refers to himself as one.
So the fact that Ky constantly reassures him that he’s not one, and that Ky didn’t treat him differently after finding out he was a Gear, must be comforting to know.
Then at the end of REV, there’s the scene where Daryl is about to shoot Sol, because he (quite rightly) doesn’t trust the fate of the world to be left to Sol. And so, the kids get beamed up, but Ky asks to be left behind:
Ky: "But, if you plan on targeting Sol, then you must leave me behind, as well."
Daryl: "What!?"
Zappa:"60 seconds until impact..!"
Sol: "What the hell are you doing?! Stay with Sin!"
Ky: "I am well aware that this is a one in a million chance..."
Ky: "But, if I survive at the expense of my dear friend, then there is little reason left for my ruling this world as king."
— Guilty Gear Xrd -REVELATOR-, Story Mode: Final Chapter, Fireworks
This was a really odd moment because Ky’s life was never in danger at that moment. If he had been sent on board Daryl’s ship as originally planned, he would have been safe. But Ky intentionally chose to risk his life, and its kind of startling because Ky has always put his people above everything. There were times when he put the people above his own family, like when he kept his family a secret instead of coming out with the truth about them in order to remain as King to protect his people.
So Ky suddenly going ‘I would rather die with Sol than take care of my people’ is really extreme. Also Ky was willing to leave his family behind, which is even more extreme. So this just really proves how highly Ky regards Sol considering how he would rather die with him than live without him.
Some concluding notes
I think Sol and Ky’s personalities do work really well. Perhaps not in the Crusade era, but if we take a look at the Xrd era, they have shown to get along and have deep conversations with one another that they both enjoy. They know each other extremely well; they know how to support one another when life gets a bit too much and they’re also capable of telling one another when the other is wrong.
Sol teaches Ky that life isn’t as simple as it seems, and that (figuratively speaking) he shouldn’t stick exactly to the textbook. He’s able to see under that perfect image Ky puts up about him being able to cope with everything, acting as a source of stability when you consider how Sol has been the only person who’s been around Ky since the very beginning.
Throughout all of Ky’s life, he’s been under so much pressure. From being Commander in the Crusades, to becoming the Head of the International Police Force, to becoming King. In every situation, people are constantly relying on him, and his environment is changing rapidly. But despite everything, Sol has always remained the same. He looks the same, acts the same, etc. Ky can rely on Sol and trust Sol. He’s like a source of stability for Ky in those hectic times.
And Ky provides something similar to Sol too, given how often he ran into Sol time and time again. When you’ve been alive for so long, it’d feel reassuring in the very least to see a familiar face. And Sol does seem to get less annoyed each time they meet each other again, considering like how in Overture he voluntarily went to go see Ky after seeing himself on a wanted poster.
Ky also gives Sol the chance to open up to people again and form connections with them, something that Sol has been reluctant to do. Sol needs someone to care about him, and Ky proves that by constantly reassuring him and never giving up on trying to help Sol, even though he kept getting pushed away.
They may not be canon but I really do love how they work together. Yes it’s true some people may like them because they are ‘rivals’and seeing rivals get together and bicker is great, but actually I think when people focus more on how much they support and rely on each other, as well as the fact that they do get along, them being in a relationship is more convincing.
Whilst this essay focused on their canon interactions, there’s plenty of other great material out there. For instance, the Guilty Gear 4KomaKINGS manga provides plenty of great SolKy interactions (like the time Ky wanted to have a friendship diary with Sol, only to get rejected and start crying about it. Of course, take these interactions with a pinch of skepticism considering the frivolity of the source material.)
And that, was my very long SolKy essay. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading! Though you may not have agreed with everything I have said, you still continued reading, and I am grateful for that. Thank you for showing such enthusiasm and loving this franchise.
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3 am Talks - hq pt 2
a/n: i hope you enjoy these! they take place some time during the time skip or close to when the six years are up.
pairings: oikawa x reader, iwaizumi x reader, mattsun x reader, kuroo x reader, kenma x reader
warnings: some spoilers, smoking weed
taglist: @babydabi, @suckersuki, @bakugoustanaccount, @animoozies
part 1 | part 3
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙
⇾ c o n s p i r a c y t h e o r i e s
⇾ lots of aliens talk
⇾ will try to convince you that he did in fact, see a UFO once
⇾ but also, will complain about the flat ass comments he constant receives
⇾ spills his secret that not even iwa knows - he dropped a shitton of cash to work out with the Kardashian’s personal trainer in hopes to get a nice juicy bubble butt
⇾ spoiler: it didn’t work
⇾ if he’s in a more serious/softer mood, he would talk more about the mistakes he made in the past in regards to his relationships
⇾ friendships or romantic
⇾ a very vulnerable moment for him where he just let’s everything he’s been holding in out
“I swear! I was seven, I went camping with Iwa-chan and his family!” Oikawa was sitting back on his heels with his right hand up, swearing to you.
You rolled your eyes. “What, did the aliens abduct you and perform a surgery? You got a nasty scar on you somewhere?”
He narrowed his eyes. “I will prove it. I just need to find the picture for you.”
“Right. Wait, have you been working out more?”
His expression quickly changed from utter disbelief to a smirk. “I have.”
“Well, none of it is helping your ass.”
He hung his head in defeat. “All that money wasted. I can’t believe I actually thought the Kardashian’s trainer would be able to help me.”
“Babe, they’re all plastic and I think that’s the only thing that will help you at this point.”
“Every amazing thing about me is natural. Why would I ruin that by enhancing my features unnaturally?”
You shrugged. “At least you have that going for you.”
“What do you mean ‘at least’?” he asked with air quotes. “I have you, don’t I?”
You didn’t expect him to say something like that. “What?”
“If you’ve stuck around this long, I must be doing something right. I know I fucked up in the past, but I’m glad you’re so patient with me. It can’t be easy dating someone who only thinks about volleyball.” You smiled softly as he continued. “I want to apologize to Kageyama properly for the way I treated him. And Iwa-chan too. He always had to deal with my bs and that wasn’t his place as my friend.”
“Well, he stuck around you all this time, so you must be doing something right too.”
.・゜-: ✧ :- -: ✧ :-゜・．
⇾ since california is 16 hours behind, these talks would be in the middle of the day for one of you until a surprise visit happens
⇾ but usually, it would just consist of the two of you catching up
⇾ in person though, he would talk more about how freeing it is to be in a new place, away from everything that was familiar
⇾ how it feels good not to live in anyone's shadow and just start fresh
⇾ (not that he hated being with oikawa, it was just something new for him)
⇾ but also how he doesn’t want to get left behind in the game of life
⇾ how even his new friends *cough* ushiwaka *cough* is going after his dreams
“So how do you like California?” It was 2 am, you just picked up your boyfriend from the airport and you were heading back home. It was a long drive back which gave you plenty of time to talk.
“It’s nice. You’re not there, but other than that, I like it.”
“Don’t let Oikawa hear that,” you laughed.
Iwa slid down his seat a bit and got comfortable. “It feels so freeing. It’s a new start. No one knows me as the ace of Seijoh or as the guy who’s friends with Oikawa. I enjoy people not assuming I’m gay for my best friend.” Even though he was being serious, you couldn’t help but snort at the comment. After all, you had been one of those people too. “It’s like I hit restart and I’m enjoying every minute of it.”
“Do you miss anything though? You sound like you’re really enjoying it there.”
“Of course I miss things and people. Even though it’s fun, I do miss Shittykawa’s annoying ass and walking in on Makki and Mattsun getting high. Hell, sometimes I miss not being around all the fangirls. But everyone is moving on with their lives, so I can’t stay stuck in the past.” You hummed to let him know you were still listening. “I refuse to get left behind. Even Ushiwaka is going after his own goals.”
“Who would’ve thought you would go to a new country, run into him there, and become friends?”
Iwa laughed. “Not me, and definitely not Oikawa. He still brings it up, to this day. It’s been two years and he thinks I’ve replaced him.”
.・゜-: ✧ :- -: ✧ :-゜・．
⇾ high talks
⇾ i feel like he’s not stressed about much that he needs to vent or get something off his chest
⇾ would probably feel free when he’s high - free from being an adult - and would talk about that
⇾ maybe some funny stories from high school
⇾ makes lots of jokes
⇾ but once it hits him, he’ll be talking about deep shit
⇾ talks about life and everyone’s purpose, why we’re here, that sort of shit
“And then Iwa got so annoyed, he just pantsed Oikawa in front of the girl.” You giggled as Mattsun finally got the story right.
“So what happened with the girl?” you asked.
“I think she died in the spot because she got to see Oikawa in his underwear.” He took another hit of his blunt and blew the smoke out, over his head. “I wonder if he’s enjoying Argentina.”
You glanced up at him before turning your attention back to the show neither of you were really watching. “I’m sure he misses you guys.”
“I hope he finds his purpose. All that practice to never make it to nationals…” He sighed. “Iwa is studying to be a trainer. Him too. I hope he gets what he wants in life.”
“And you?”
Mattsun chuckled. “My purpose is to enjoy my time here. There are enough people in the world who are stressing over something or another. I’m here to balance the scale. Can’t have too much stress in the world or the negativity will just take over. That’s me and Makki, we just chilling through life. What's that saying? Que salsa?”
“Que sera sera?”
“Yeah that one! Oikawa said that to me when we were talking once.”
“I’m surprised you remembered it.”
“I’m smarter than I appear. I can’t threaten the nerds either. Balancing the scales.”
.・゜-: ✧ :- -: ✧ :-゜・．
⇾ would range from crackhead ideas to deep conversations
⇾ could go from reciting a funny story about kenma to his insecurities in your relationship real fast
⇾ so kuroo is a scorpio and l i t e r a l l y every scorpio I know absolutely sucks ASS at opening up, doesn’t matter what gender
⇾ a part of his insecurities is that you’re constantly trying to get him to open up more and confide in you, but even after knowing him for as long as you have, he barely does
⇾ and it’s not that he doesn’t trust you, it’s just he doesn’t like to feel that vulnerable with anyone
⇾ there would be a lot of thanking you - for being so patient with him, for dealing with his teasing, for accepting his friends, etc
⇾ he doesn’t strike me as someone who enjoys serious conversations too much so if he felt awkward, he would try to make things more light, cue talks about the latest scientific discoveries
The two of you were calming down from a story Kuroo told you about Kenma that happened recently. “I’m sure deep down, he wishes we never became friends.”
“It’s not hidden very deep. He texted me that this morning.” Moving closer to Kuroo, you rested your arms on his chest and placed your chin on top of your hands. One of his hands automatically went to card through your hair.
Kuroo’s face softened as he took a moment to stare at you. “I’m sorry.” You stared at him confused. “You’ve been with me for so long. I feel like I know your entire life story and your life stories from your last five lives and here I am, unable to even bring up my childhood and family problems. You shouldn’t have to deal with that.”
You shrugged slightly. “I mean, yeah it’s pretty annoying but I’ve just come to…” You bit your tongue.
“Come to what?”
“Come to not expect anything,” you said with a sigh.
That caused Kuroo to sit up, making you sit up as well. “Do you really not expect anything from me now?”
“Well, not nothing. More like I’m not expecting you to open up. I’m tired of sounding clingy whenever I try to even ask about your day.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “You know I never want you to feel like that, right?” You shrugged again. “I just… I don’t know, it’s just hard for me to open up to other people. I guess I’m just used to having someone who understands me without me having to say anything. Vulnerability feels so strange to me so I just try to avoid it when I can.” He took both your hands into his. “I’ll do a better job, I promise. Thank you for being patient with me.”
.・゜-: ✧ :- -: ✧ :-゜・．
⇾ he’s not much of a talker, we all know this
⇾ but if you ask him the right questions (ie. being annoyingly persistent) he’ll talk
⇾ LOTS of appreciation
⇾ very grateful to all the people he’s met in his life and how each one that he holds dear to his heart plays a different role in his life
⇾ how much he cherishes the people he loves
⇾ and then the conversation would turn to you - how much he appreciates you
⇾ let’s be honest, kenma sucks ass at being affectionate, his love language is probably quality time because just knowing that you’re willing to sit with him as he streams is good enough to make his gamer heart happy
⇾ so he would take the time to fully express how much he does love you since he rarely makes it known to you in other ways
“Kenma, how much longer are you gonna play? You have class tomorrow,” you said while he was streaming.
Glancing at the time, he told his viewers that he was going to wrap it up for the night and he joined you in bed. You were talking his ear off about the meet up you had with some of your friends and you could see him grow more and more irritated.
“Why did you call me to sleep if you were just going to talk.”
“Oh. Well, this is the only time I got to be with just you today…” You pulled the blanket higher up on your body and curled into a ball with your back to Kenma. You felt him shift under the covers until you felt his arm wrap around your waist, pulling you closer to him.
“I’m sorry. Tell me what happened next.”
You shook your head. “It’s fine, we can talk in the morning.”
He buried his face in your neck, giving you a soft kiss. “I love you. I don’t say that enough. I cherish you even if I don’t show you that. You and Kuroo and Shoyo. All of you are the closest people to me, and I appreciate you all so much for the different ways you’ve helped me.”
You placed your hand on top of his and interlaced your fingers. “I love you too.”
“How about we have lunch tomorrow? I can cancel the stream at night and we can watch a movie.”
“What about the viewers?”
“They can survive one night without watching me. I owe you since I’ve been a bad boyfriend.”
#oikawa tōru#oikawa x reader#iwaizumi hajime#iwaizumi x reader#matsukawa issei#matsukawa x reader#mattsun x reader#kuroo tetsurou#kuroo x reader#kenma kozume#kenma x reader#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fic#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu x reader
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I decided to watch the Walker pilot so you don’t have to. #2
Because I don’t love myself enough, I guess. Let’s continue.
Recap in case you missed the first part: it’s boring, Jared acts like he stumbled on the set and never heard about it before, Texan law enforcement must wear very pristine shirts and cowboy hats or they will die, I guess, the cinematography wants to be good but I’m not sure it knows how to do it.
The last thing I mentioned in the first post was Jared doing a thing with his mouth but I think you need to see it. It’s basically the extent of Jared’s acting in this show. I had nothing against you, man, I swear. I even got your autograph once. I’m not a hater. I’m just looking at him...
THE TITLE CARD! I had paused the episode riiight before the title card. You have to witness it in all its embarrassing glory
Whose idea was it??
Some shots of the city of Austin. Walker and Martinez (Mexican Lady Cop) are having lunch. She says she’s heard about him, he asks what she’s learnt, she says, I textuallty quote, “I hear you are the edge of the coin”. Again, we are not allowed to have any kind of slight metaphor without the dialogue slapping us in the face with it.
“Not head or tail, just... your way” Jared didn’t even come up with the metaphor in that interview, it was in the script. Unless he came up with that line, which isn’t even a good line.
She basically tells him not to get in the way of her career. Being a Mexican-American cop is hard! Such deep commentary.
They start discussing the case, which I had already forgotten about. The cop who was slightly assaulted and won’t talk about it. “Maybe whatever was in that truck spooked him enough to abandon his oath” maybe it was a monster. god I wish it was a monster so that’d mean I’m watching Supernatural and Jensen is in it. The “oath” thing is kinda icky, like they want to remind us that being a cop is a noble path. It is in some places under some conditions. But we’re talking about Generic American conditions.
He’s like “let’s use the traffic cams to see if we can see something” and he slips right into his Sam tone. Admittedly that’s a Sam kind of thing to say.
It was day, and now it’s night. Walker house. He arrives when his family have already started dinner. Except the daughter isn’t there, she’s out with a friend. “Isabel, some Mexican girl” Walker’s father calls the friend. “Mexican American, dad” the gay brother corrects him, a deep and interesting commentary on ethnicity in the United States, we’re weeping with emotion.
Walker apparently isn’t happy that his mother has enrolled his daughter in a Catholic school, his father snaps back at him. We don’t care. We’re not emotionally invested in any of this.
There’s some awkward dialogue because he mentions the daughter playing basketball, but she’s switched to soccer. Wow, it’s like she’s become an entirely different person in those eleven months he was undercover! Can you believe? Apparently she used to play soccer before, she’s come back to it. Whoa. She’s an utterly unrecognizable person now, it’s going to be so hard for Walker to get to know her again from scratch. Can you believe?
Then he gets a call. He needs to pick up the daughter from the police station. He does some Jared awkward faces and leaves.
The daughter (Stella) was at a party and was arrested for possession. I miss when possession meant demonic possession. Dramatic music plays. She’s there with the Mexican American friend, whose parents arrive and he starts a speech on how they should get to know each other better. It is so not the right context to start making friends. “Epic first meeting” Isabel says. “I’m so sorry, this is so embarrassing” Stella says. “For who?” Walker quips, like a normal person does.
He’s like, let’s go, and the girls hug, which is the only believable expression of affection I’ve seen so far in the episode. Can’t the story be about Stella and Isabel?
Father-daughter conversation in the truck. Apparently we have emotional moments in cars, which we have never seen on television before.
He asks what she was thinking, she’s like, duh what do people use drugs for. She calls him out for disappearing completely. She mentions how it was bad enough that they didn’t have mom. He says “we both got to stop acting like she’s gonna come back and put us right” which makes absolutely zero sense. It’s like someone wrote it on a note for how to develop the characters and they just decided to slap it into the script of the pilot. Remember these people haven’t seen each other for eleven months, he left shortly after his wife died. They didn’t have the time to process the grief together, why is he even saying that line here?
Meanwhile Martinez get home and we meet her boyfriend, a very cute Black man. They’re cute. Why can’t the story be about them?
He asks her about Walker, she says he’s a mess. Oh god. She says he was a Marine, “signed after 9/11”. Holy shit. He’s a Marine who signed up after asdfghjkl can’t you feel the Manly Trauma here????
He’s a Marine who signed up to fight Muslims after 9/11 and now has a dead wife, he’s exactly the kind of male lead character we need right now.
She says she’s trying to figure him out. Her boyfriend is like “dude stop thinking about that guy, he’s not at home trying to figure you out” and she replies “oh I’m pretty sure he thinks he knows everything about me already”.
This is the first scene that hasn’t felt bad so far.
Meanwhile Jared and his brother go to a bar. It’s very ~Texas Aesthetic~, and they’re wearing cowboy hats, of course. You are not allowed to go to a bar without a cowboy hat in Texas. “The brothers Walker” the flannel-shirt-clad bartender says, coming with drinks. Jensen Ackles makes a face somewhere in the mountains.
The brother goes to call his partner and the bartender starts chatting with Walker. She has a conversation with Jared’s awkward faces and she’s like, I guess you left because I couldn’t answer your questions about what happened yo your wife. This is how people converse in real life.
She asks him if he’s alright and he doesn’t answer, instead is like “let’s have a dance”. He doesn’t say he’s fine, but I think it still counts as a I’m Fine Lie Moment #2 because that’s what it is in spirit.
I know you’re bored, I’m bored.
They dance in the Texan bar, I’m distracted by the pool tables and wish this was Supernatural so we’d see Jensen Ackles play pool.
Obviously the dance is interrupted by work - a text from Ramirez who says she’s got something, “office 8am?” so he leaves because he has to wake up early. I’m not kidding.
I was kind of warmed over by Ramirez and her cute boyfriend and by the bar who was kind of nice as a location, when the next scene at the office immediately starts with Ramirez saying “My mom wouldn’t let me play with dolls when I was a kid, so Iearned about cars instead”. I die a little inside. It’s the second time she’s referred to her mother wanting a son...? So she’s badass because she wasn’t raised to be feminine...? Ew.
So they have this lead thanks to her knowledge of cars. They go investigate. I’m bored.
I shouldn’t have said I was bored, because Walker destroys my boredom by having Jared pick up a cross and start talking to “JC” sarcastically asking him for guidance about his kids going to the Catholic school. “Can you stop” Ramirez says, along with all of us.
By the way they’re in a workshop run by an ex-convict who employs former criminals to make figurines (like that cross). I got a bad feeling about this. Former criminal in cop shows is always code for current criminal.
The investigation leads to two guys who work in the store - “oh I know you,” one immediately says when he spots Walker, “you’re the ranger with the dead wife”. Walker is like, what did you say. And the guy is like oh I heard the story of a ranger’s wife biting a bullet near the border, guess you couldn’t protect her uh~~~
They exchange more provocations - Walker calls him some lowlife something and the guy goes to punch him and Walker beats him up. Violently. I’m uncomfortable. We’re supposed to think he’s exaggerating here but... he does get very violent and should not be a cop. Period.
They go to Ramirez’ house because he cut his hand. Her boyfriend is like “baby there’s a dude bleeding on your couch” I want a season of him, exclusively him.
She scolds Walker. Not because he beat up a guy with more force than needed, but because he acted stupid and that’s bad for her career. I’m uncomfortable.
Also, what’s bad is that they’re supposed to work *together*. He says he has his own way of doing things. Yikes yikes yikes.
She says that her theory is that they put them together because he always break the rules. Apparently she read up his cases and he always break the rules. The main character of the show is a cop who break the rules in half the cases he works. Yikes yikes yikes but also did I mention yikes?
No, wait, he acknowledges that he “bends” the rules, like that’s better! Yikes!
More bad dialogue, then Stella’s school calls him. She hasn’t been at school.
He goes to ask Isabel’s mother, who reveals they haven’t their papers yet, so any criminal activity would mean deportation. He talks about it with Ramirez and mentions that his brother who’s a DA could get in contact with the Feds to speed up the papers. Are we supposed to be like “oh what a good guy”? The thing is just creepy to me.
Well, at least Ramirez says something about it, or actually quotes her mother who used to say that the law doesn’t protect us. That’s why she ~burned bridges~ with her family! Apparently because she became a cop.
Ow. Her mother is not speaking to her because for her, her daughter being a cop is like a betrayal. But for her it’s a way to set things right! We’re supposed to think her mother is exaggerated. #notallcops #individualgoodcopscanchangethesystemfromtheinsideforsuredefinitely
Meanwhile their investigation continues. Remember the cross Walker randomly picked up to mock the concept of Jesus? Ramirez stole it. And now they find out there’s heroin in it. Alright... obviously the business that was supposed to rehabilitate former criminals is a cover for cartel drug dealing. What were we expecting. I’m tired.
Ramirez decides to work the case alone and sends Walker to look for his daughter. “I was that kid once, I always wanted to be found”. The impression you get from the scene is that Walker had forgotten about his daughter missing lol. Ramirez insists he goes. I’m uncomfortable with how many times people put on cowboy hats. Someone should count. We’re only 30 minutes in and it feels like it’s happened 80 times.
Alright, a break now! My laptop’s ventilation is running like crazy, VLC and long tumblr drafts are a bad combination. Or maybe it’s just my laptop being allergic to this show.
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hi @yeedak thank you so m uch for replying with what you did. YAY ADHD!!!!! ur partner sounds like she rocks >:) as do u
i found it really illuminating and i agree with all of it. and god as much as i understand reticence when black people are interracially dating (it is so hard) i also hate it when people dictate it and also to a degree that it makes it extremely uncomfortable for the person themselves. to me it really is about a sense of control particularly if you are a woman. constantly trying to pick someone’s life partner for them instead of letting them find out if it’s a) something they want or even want to do b) something they can handle and c) their experience. it can purely cultural as well. my mom is a black american but my father is nigerian and that was basically a sin. however my father’s siblings? the women who had to marry extremely quickly and had to be with nigerian men or at the very least african? divorced. because they had to clamor for love for approval, pop out babies, and look what that got them. i totally understand you and your mother. and you’re right about all of it.
the idea of a man whore is so funny to me too because it’s not about sexual liberation it’s literally about them wanting to use people as disposable which is why sexual liberation for women as well can be confusing. but all of this isn’t so we can develop our own imaginations and find out our own inhibitions. like you said in all of it and i found this part very very interesting and true, “youth is for sex and no mention of asexuality.” when you get older you are not sexual, when you are a child you are unsure about it, but there’s a time in our lives where we shouldn’t waste it, where it’s only acceptable in that window, where it’s dictated. tangentially i think it’s very funny that the people we sleep with also become a point of pride. let’s say if he is a man (as a bisexual~**~ gorl) but he’s ugly, i should be ashamed, too?
so much boxing in and pushing and dictating. they really are here to spread a message. and i know things ar ehard. i can believe people ask you that but it’s still so.....weird? i remember saying something about my sexuality once and it’s not like i knew the people but then they started asking me questions and i honestly felt embarrassed and like an outsider. i dunno.
and your analogy of a mirror was perfect woaaaaaaah that’s what im gonna say now thank you so much credit to you. gENIUS!!! as real life changes, what we see changes. but media doesnt come first.
also totally agree about watching what people consume and not falling into those patterns. and when “bad” things are shown i do not understand why shows are so scared to show them as they are or not romanticize. a real issue to introduce when it comes to age gaps would be why it is frequent in the lgbtq+ community. that is a real thing because when you have to hide yourself of course you can be stuck in a state of arrested development and trying to re-establish times you may never have. that’s a geniuine fear and concern, it’s understandable even if i don’t particularly care for it, but it’s like for these writeres there’s no reason to look deeply or put that into their story. so why are they doing it? and what is the message here? uGH. and what ur mother said makes so much sense we are just constantly absorbing all these messages and culture absolutely aids to it and you’re right about the generations. and sometimes things stop and start but i genuinely think (and know) that for us to continue forward and not have the constant backwards taht means we have to push to get there and demand and that also means we have to make an effort to end the harm we then see on screen. rape culture dictates these shows. it relies on it. it is disgusting but rape culture is the norm, the norm is the oppression so we have to attack it otherwise it sticks and htat’s exactly why we see what we see.
and the unacceptability of gender fluidity is what keeps the genre SO INFLEXIBLE sincerely. it honestly just pulls so heavily from patriarchy and the roles in which we have to follow to uphold that structure.
it’s really just not enough to show us things any more wihtout taking it into consideration. and like ive mentioned there’s soooooooooo much media that has a lot to say that embeds itself. there’s this thing my friend linked me to on re-examining queerness in korean cinema (much like my dad’s country; patriarchal, more “conservative, anti lgbtq+, reliant on capital. africa is different because of the blackness component but the structures aided by colonialism absolutely remain and continue and that’s how we see such similarities. thse countries are more “overt” in this output but still you know. america. sucks) because we are trying to re-evaluate what it means to be heard and seen. the different ways and sort of the message that a lot of us as lgbtq+ can feel. you know, how we can get a feeling on if a person has our same experience, how we kind of have to learn to identify that. not sure if this makes sense...
your mom sounds really cool. and i’m fucking sorry. so many men do that. i live with both my parents but even then i see this power imbalance i can’t stand and you know i would have believed it was normal if i wasnt able to learn aand had to build up thinking skills. there was one day that it hit me that there are parts of my parents relationship i abhor, that are imbalanced, that make me find my father disgusting and make me ashamed of my mother. i don’t want that to happen to me or my potential children. if i have a male partner for life, which i am sure i will because offffffff heteronormativity and homophobia and being half black american half nigerian, he cannot recreate that. i am optimistic on what people can do without needing such grand structures or the support of the elite etc you know? that’s how we know there’s good work that exists and people we can find that arent with the status quou!!!
and who want a better world. we have to know we can rally that together. i think part of that is constant demanding of things to do better. there’s a rage against the machine song called settle for nothing and it’s about 0 compromise. there’s a famous quote i dont remember by who that’s basically like there’s an idea that there’s a limit to asking for dignity and what you deserve because when people realize they can live better lives they want to cultivate that more and more but that means a loss of control and a sharing of power from the top. nothing is ever enough if it can be better and we are allowed to demand it (or take it.) we deserve the world, we are being told that we’re asking fo rtoo much. are we? really?
i was thinking about the children thing as well bc...lmao i was so tightly contorlled as a child and it really messed me up but at the same time, like you, i honestly do not want my children watching drivel. like even with youtube. a friend of mine said that what she thinks she will do is try and hammer home how fantastical these things are, they do not reflect reality, and to get them to understand the spectacle. at the same time i’m like does a child really need to watch these dumb tiktok stars or jake paul? but then im like i really dont want to control them. but like what if ur kid asks u to go to some like fucking BL concert or some shit like what do you say to that?!??! I DONT WANNA SAY NO BUT AT THE SAME TIME UHHHHlmao but at the same time we have to give them tools to analyze and do the right things and follow their hearts
however,
as you know
LOL
tysm for responding, lovely talking to you and hearing your thoughts!!!
oh btw so u r from kashmar? that is very cool......VERY COOL
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ok so 2ha. vague spoilers ahead (important spoilers are warned but watch out)
that’s a solid 4.5/5 for me. this novel RUINED me and I loved it for it. it made me feel like very few novels (and even stories in general) did. today I’m STILL shaken over a part of it that I read two days ago, despite the happy ending. I have A Lot of thoughts (shout-out to @whateverwuxian who can testify that I couldn’t shut up about it, love you buddy!!) so I just went ahead and [gestures below]
starting with the negative so we can enjoy all the positive later. feel free to discuss but I’m extra sensitive and these are only my personal feelings so they probably won’t change anyway, so be nice please!
what I didn't like:
too many r*pe scenes. I get that the non-con """makes sense""" narratively and thematically but like. they didn't have to be explicit. at the very least not all of them. sorry but too much is too much. there are more non-con sex scenes/flashbacks than consensual sex scenes! stop! we get it! enough now!
not a fan of a 26yo falling in love with a 16yo. if cwn had initiated Anything I would’ve thrown the novel out the window. but thankfully it didn’t happen, I got invested, and nothing mutual happened until mo ran was 22, so I mostly got over it, but I’m still somewhat uncomfortable with it for very personal reasons.
their first time putting it in. it felt so unfair and I was very upset over it. it could’ve worked without going There? why. was that necessary. and it's heartbreaking for both of them, because mo ran didn't want to do it either. he wanted them to take all their time. he wanted to go step by step. all he wanted was to make sure cwn would be happy and comfortable and never hurt again in bed. for their first time that way he wanted it to be special. but it was just. taken away from them, and for what? for nothing there’s absolutely no reason for it. I get there’s the metaphorical foreshadowing of the upcoming reveal aspect (spoilers) both of them not consenting, mo ran being horrified -> the reveal that mo ran was cursed and so would’ve never wanted to treat cwn like this in the past either if he’d had control (end spoilers) but still?? and it’s never brought up again? I know they don’t get the time until the very end but hhhh. yeah I have Feelings over this
some plot twists hit good emotionally but had no point? thinking of the one about xue meng here.
there’s horny, and then there’s mo ran. it’s not a bad thing, it’s just not the kind of stuff I like reading about and book 1 and 2 are A Lot on that side so in book 2 after a while ME, THE BIGGEST ASEXUAL WHO COULDN’T CARE LESS ABOUT SEX SCENES, WAS LIKE, “oh my god have mercy please just fuck already I beg of you” and indeed they chilled a bit after that. like they were still horny but. less intensely and less all the fucking time. thank god (I still think the farm arc was hilarious to witness though, and I did love it)
kinda wish their reunion at the end was longer and more emotional but that’s just because I love that shit
(spoilers) kinda wish we got to see shi mei again before he went off doing his blind wandering doctor stuff. a talk with ranwan would’ve been very interesting. (end spoilers)
xue meng didn’t get a hug
that one thing at the end you know the one. maybe I'd be more into it if it'd been given time to be explored seriously and wasn't played off as a joke. it kinda ruined the mood of their last scene for me. (spoilers spoilers spoilers this is the end of this section if you don’t want to get spoiled) in that scene I wanted chu wanning to ride off into the sunset with mo ran, not txj. like, txj is the alternate world’s “if there had been no transmigration” version of mo ran 2.0. the whole point is that mo ran IS txj in book 1, but changes and becomes mo ran 2.0. mo ran 2.0, who by the end of the novel has already done all the redemption and deconstruction of his dubious habits. who he was as txj is long behind him. at this point txj will always be a part of who he was, but they are pretty much two 'different' people now. txj disappearing into dust after everything that happens at the end was beautiful symbolism. it meant something. to me there was no point keeping txj around after all that other than for “haha split personalities fighting over cwn’s attention uwu” THAT SAID the fact I'm not a fan of the idea doesn't mean I don't like txj. I care txj a lot and have Emotions over him, and I will definitely eventually explore this in my writing
(still spoilers) the demonic blood reveal was a bit.... deus ex machina? plus I personally would've preferred mo ran staying a regular person (end spoilers)
alright what I liked now:
the themes, both regarding the characters and the various plot elements. this novel really challenges your morals and what you think is right or wrong, what’s redeemable, what’s punishable, and how much one relies on first impressions, amongst other things. this novel is the definition of “don’t judge a book by its cover” but also “look further than the first page” in so many ways
the romance. like I don’t need to say anything there. just, the slow burn, the longing, the yearning, the romance [clutches heart]
the plot twists/reveals. I’m so glad I was barely spoiled (I was spoiled two Big things but very vaguely so I was still surprised) because pretty much all of them had me shouting “WHAT” and/or gaping and/or various “what the fuck!!!”/”holy SHIT”/“NO” reactions
the way a lot of those reveals just completely change your view on things/characters?? that’s my jam
wontons. that was the first time I cried and my first very physical reaction to an event in this novel. I literally felt like time froze. I heard my heart beating. it was painful but AMAZING.
might be nothing in the grand scheme of things but honestly, all the food! I love that mo ran is an excellent cook and can make all those delicious dishes for cwn. as someone who loves to cook for their loved ones I think it’s so lovely that he gets to do that
the character growth. for everyone, but mo ran in particular? like I just. I started off not liking mo ran very much, straight up despising him at times, and in the end I was fucking sobbing over him and cried myself to sleep only to wake up in the middle of the night to cry some more so there’s that
chu wanning? there were aspects of him that I related to heavily, and that felt both like the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known and very special because it doesn’t happen to me that often
the whole deaging arc. that was deaging done right and it had a purpose in the narrative and their relationship growth, I was “!!!!”
I LOVE how they took their time with EVERYTHING once they got together? that it spanned over several weeks? that it started with the confession, then just holding hands, then kissing, then making out, then sex, and even the sex was step by step! it said A LOT about mo ran’s character growth and it respected SO MUCH the fact that cwn is a 32yo (unrelated but (spoilers) I like to argue that yeah he’s been alive for 32 years but when you’ve been asleep and not aging physically nor growing mentally for five years in a way that makes you a 27yo. so when he calls his body “mature and old” and compares himself to shi mei I’m just. buddy your body is just three years older than shi mei’s there’s barely any difference in maturity right there. I know it’s your lack of self-worth speaking, and believe me I get it, but don’t be so hard on yourself. (end spoilers) anyway, this is an unimportant and unrelevant thought that I had during the mirror scene) who has no experience in any of these things whatsoever. he's not pushed into sex like he's going to be comfortable right off the bat and like it isn’t such a big change in a life that’s been ascetic so far. mo ran is aware of that! and when they have their first time mo ran, who’s been maybe even more horny than cwn all this time - seriously horny is that guy’s middle name, who initiated the sex, what does he say!!! "don't worry about me, tonight, I just want to make you feel good"??? mo ran?? your character development??? I appreciated that so much.
the pain. I’m still bleeding on the floor despite the happy ending but yeah. I like angst and I was not disappointed. it didn’t feel that gratuitious to me, more like, brutally honest? I don’t cry that easily but by the end I think I’d cried, what, close to ten times??
quite a few excellent quotes [lies down] “I realized - I had grown into the you in my heart”?? “hell is too cold”??? I highlighted more but those two are the ones that always come to my mind first
most of the time the flashbacks were perfectly inserted for maximum emotional damage and I respect that skill
xue zhengyong. like he’s not my favourite, my favourites are xue meng, nangong si and ye wangxi but? I just adored him so he gets a special mention
the side characters? like, I legit loved Everyone? when I cry over side characters you know it’s serious
THE CONFESSION SCENE. LIKE. HOLY SHIT MY HEART. it comes reaaally close to the vocal one (because hua cheng confesses so many times without words) at the end of tgcf for me. it was beautiful. I was so emotional. the fact that cwn can't say it no matter how much he feels it. like it's always been plain and clear just how much he loves mo ran. but he can't say the words yet and I just. the fact that mo ran gets it? that he doesn't need the words, just that squeeze of fingers, just what cwn is, at that moment, able to give him, and it doesn't mean less to him than words would? it hit home real hard
unless I think of something else, that’s about it! I can’t recommend 2ha enough, that said, I beg of you, heed the warnings. they are NOT overstated. and even if there were no warnings, take care anyways. the angst is serious, it haunts you. angst always makes me feel like my chest is being squeezed and that’s precisely the feeling I’m looking for when I choose to read angst. I have good tolerance to it, so despite not doing entirely well lately, I thought I was tough and went for it, but I’m a CLOWN. the way it’s written ruins you. this morning despite reading the hardest part of the angst on saturday evening, I still had some physical chest pain. so I recommend it with all my heart, but take care of yourselves. 2ha doesn’t fuck around.
#2ha#bee talks#i will probably tweak and add to this post over time because I probably forgot stuff#anyways I'm gonna go lie down and cry over ranwan as I think about my fic ideas#2ha review
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I. Am very ANGRY.
For all the trans people who read this - you are amazing, you are brave, and fuck everyone who dares to tell you how you are allowed to express who you are.
Anyway I went through JKRs essay on trans issues and tried to deconstruct it because a prominent Swedish political figure just supported it and these are EXACTLY the kind of arguments I have had to counter and it SUCKS. I will have to sit through this shit being thrown at me again not far from now. So this is... venting, I guess.
This is going to be long and if you want to understand it I guess you should read what she’s written; it’s on her homepage. But also don’t read it because it will probably make you sad and angry. It’s transphobic and ignorant, and just, please, stay away from it if you know that will make you feel like shit. I’m also going to be quoting her in the text below, so I’m putting it under a cut.
M’kay.
First, what even is she trying to say with this essay? She says she’s worried about the “new trans activism.” What exactly is worrying with this new activism? Well, she doesn’t say it outright, but it seems to be that she believes it’s getting too easy to transition. That the “rigorous process of evaluation, psychotherapy and staged transformation” is being eroded, and this is bad.
Through the essay I can find two main arguments she has to support this claim.
1. Cis youth (in particular cis girls) will be fooled into to thinking they’re trans.
The UK has experienced a 4400% increase in girls being referred for transitioning treatment. Autistic girls are hugely overrepresented in their numbers.
Littman mentioned Tumblr, Reddit, Instagram and YouTube as contributing factors to Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria, where she believes that in the realm of transgender identification ‘youth have created particularly insular echo chambers.’
She also supports this idea by sharing a personal history of being uncomfortable with gender roles, and confusing that with gender dysphoria:
“The allure of escaping womanhood would have been huge. I struggled with severe OCD as a teenager. If I’d found community and sympathy online that I couldn’t find in my immediate environment, I believe I could have been persuaded to turn myself into the son my father had openly said he’d have preferred.”
“Fortunately for me, I found my own sense of otherness, and my ambivalence about being a woman, reflected in the work of female writers and musicians who reassured me that, in spite of everything a sexist world tries to throw at the female-bodied, it’s fine not to feel pink, frilly and compliant inside your own head; it’s OK to feel confused, dark, both sexual and non-sexual, unsure of what or who you are.”
3. A concern that fake trans women invading women’s spaces would make “natal women” less safe:
“A man who intends to have no surgery and take no hormones may now secure himself a Gender Recognition Certificate and be a woman in the sight of the law. Many people aren’t aware of this.”
“When you throw open the doors of bathrooms and changing rooms to any man who believes or feels he’s a woman – and, as I’ve said, gender confirmation certificates may now be granted without any need for surgery or hormones – then you open the door to any and all men who wish to come inside. That is the simple truth.”
Okay.
Let me make an observation here before I try to counter these points. She’s having very different problems with the ease of transitioning for trans women and trans men. If it’s too easy for trans women to transition, men will use this as an opportunity to prey on women. If it’s too easy for trans men to transition, young girls will be in danger of forsaking their womanhood. She clearly identifies with the young afab people who question their gender, but not with trans women who want to be recognized as such. Let that sit with you for a bit and I’ll see if I come back to it.
Let’s see if I can argue against these two points first.
1. Cis youth (in particular cis girls) will be fooled into to thinking they’re trans.
Her statistics aren’t wrong. There has been a huge increase in trans youth. This increase is especially prevalent in neurodivergent afab people. Trans health care, at least where I live, is struggling with how to deal with this. Those diagnosed with autism spectrum disorders often have difficulties with feeling comfortable in their bodies and the language used around that can be similar to the language used around gender dysphoria. Many people are concerned, as JKR obviously is, that these people might think that transitioning would get rid of these symptoms, when in fact they stem from something completely different. These people may transition and still have these symptoms. They may be disappointed.
The conclusion you’re implicitly supposed to draw from these statements, and those like what I quoted above, that these young trans people aren’t really trans. That they’re somehow being tricked by trans activists. You have to believe two other things for that: that young neurodivirgent people can’t interpret their own lived experience in a correct way, and that transitioning is harmful.
Because why would it be a problem if a young person questions their gender, identifies as trans, transitions, and then changes their mind? Who cares if they have an autism diagnosis? It is only a problem if transitioning is bad for you. And the part that people like JKR seems to think is harmful is that they might have “altered their bodies irrevocably, and taken away their fertility”. But the unaltered body holds no moral superiority over the altered one. While fertility is something many people desire and something many who lack it grieve, it is not something that inherently gives your life more value. To JKR, the inherent harm of transitioning can only be justified if the person is really trans.
The tendency of a specific group to display a higher prevalence of identifying as trans is then used to cast doubt on their experiences. It’s a “social contagion” - they’re not really trans. But why does any of that matter? So what if a person identifies as trans because they see themselves in another’s story and go - that’s true for me too? Why can’t you believe them?
Well. Because you don’t really believe trans people are real. You believe that when young people speak of dysphoria, they are referring to the experience you had when you were young. And you’re happy with being a woman now. So surely they just need to accept themselves for what they are and they won’t be trans anymore.
I get it. I recognize myself in what JKR writes here. I felt “mentally sexless.” I also “found my own sense of otherness, and my ambivalence about being a woman, reflected in the work of female writers and musicians” and this reassured me. Find a woman who has not during a period of their life hated their body, I dare you. The world we live in does cause women to have strange relationships with their bodies. And it’s very easy from there to make the logical leap to the idea that young trans men are just girls who never found that reassurance! I might have also thought so, if I hadn’t connected with trans men in my teens, and actually tried to understand their experience, and realized that my negative feelings about my body not living up to some standard of beauty, about not being woman enough in some way, and not wanting to be “pink and frilly”, was not the same as their experience. I mean - I didn’t like my body because I thought it should look like a beautiful woman’s body, but they felt bad about their bodies because they thought they shouldn’t look like women at all! Young boys don’t find reassurance in texts about womanhood. Because they’re not women.
So I feel a bit sorry for her. Because I think that she sees herself in these young people, and it terrifies her - what if I could have turned out to be trans? But that would only be a problem if you think being trans is a problem. So maybe you could have been trans, JKR. Why does that bother you?
And god, if you want to talk about things that pressure young people into irrevocably altering their bodies, how about the “rigorous process of evaluation, psychotherapy and staged transformation“ that tries over and over again to make sure, double sure, triple sure, that you really are what you say you are. Trans people who want access to gender-affirming care have to show no weakness - if you slip up and say that you might not want surgeries, that can be used against you and you get nothing. Trans people repeatedly say they have to perform their gender to the extreme in order for health care providers to believe them. They’re being questioned and doubted and pushed and to get through that, you have to dig in and fight. This is not a process that encourages careful consideration and doubts - it’s a system that says: all or nothing, hesitate and you’re out.
So we get to her second argument:
3. A concern that fake trans women invading women’s spaces would make “natal women” less safe:
Here she draws a line between real trans women, who have passed through some rigorous testing process, and men who fake it. She uses her history of abuse as a cause to be worried about the safety of women if the gender binary were relaxed. The only argument she makes here is the one I already copied up there:
When you throw open the doors of bathrooms and changing rooms to any man who believes or feels he’s a woman – and, as I’ve said, gender confirmation certificates may now be granted without any need for surgery or hormones – then you open the door to any and all men who wish to come inside. That is the simple truth.
Let’s be charitable and say that she means men who would fake being women when she writes “any man who believes or feels he’s a woman“, and not trans women who just don’t perform womanhood according to her standards. But still the question remains - why oh why are you so scared of seeing a body that doesn’t agree with your ideas of a woman in a changing room? If that “fake trans woman” is there, and doing nothing wrong, then why are you so bothered about it? Why? Is the sight of male secondary sex characteristics inherently harmful to women? No! Are you afraid that someone might experience sexual attraction when looking at your body? Then do you think lesbians should also have separate changing rooms? No, you obviously don’t! Sexual harassment is never acceptable, and just because you have a same-sex space doesn’t make that space immune to it. Opening it up to non-conforming bodies does not make sexual harassment somehow acceptable. Those who enter spaces with sexual harassment in mind should be dealt with - but the presence of non-normative bodies is not sexual harassment.
Trans women are women, JKR says, and I sympathize with them - but only if they display their womanhood in a way that agrees with my idea of it. And they’re not like me. Only if they have the right kind of bodies, have gone through medical procedures, want to do these surgeries, will I extend my pity.
And fuck that.
Look, the kind of logic she presents here paints trans people into a corner where the only acceptable way of being is to subscribe to a certain kind of body. Which harms the very people she claims she wants to protect - young people questioning their gender. Especially non-binary people, whom she doesn’t even acknowledge.
And now let’s stop being charitable - JKR doesn’t believe trans people exist. She believes that those who say they are trans are tragically confused and we should only accept their words because we are nice. We should accept their delusions because we pity them. She doesn’t understand her own opinions this way, I’m sure. But fuck her understanding.
She’s upset because the idea of “womanhood” is moving away from her. She feels - I’ve felt this too! - that this push for increased inclusiveness is taking the focus from the real issues. Things that affect all women. But claiming that women have “unifying realities that make them a cohesive political class” is something that white women say. When anyone talks about “the real issues”, they usually mean “issues that affect me.”
I mean that’s privilege 101, people.
Ugh.
In conclusion, I’m still angry.
#jk rowling#jkr#transphobia#i'm sorry for venting on you#please don't interact with this if you know it will hurt you#look to be prefectly clear i am a cis woman so if i'm out of line let me know#i would be happy to stand corrected#but i#i'm just fucking tired
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mr. Bees i sprained my ankle and am bedridden until further notice, please rec me ur fav fics under 8k (that adhd attention span is fun)
I’m so sorry to hear about your ankle!! I’d be happy to rec some fics. i’m only tagging authors if they have their urls listed with the fic! if you want me to add your url, just lmk :). also if my mutuals have posted fics feel free to put them in the replies bc yall have Taste:
salinity and other measurements of brackish water by drawlight / @drawlight - 3.5k - if you haven’t read salinity yet, drop absolutely everything and do it right now because it’s phenomenal and atmospheric and it absolutely aches!!! “It's an odd thing, getting on after the End of the World. Crowley takes to sea-watching.”
quiet light and ad astra (explicit) by drawlight @drawlight - the first clocks in at around 2k and the second at 8k. it’s the shortest and most effective slowburn i have ever read. quiet light is unconfessed love; ad astra is a love confession and first time and they’re beautiful
everything just stops by witching - 4.5k - idk how long you’ve been following me but when i first read it i FULLY had a meltdown and took all of you with me. it’s that “i love you deep, angel” shit “I love your silly aziraphale things” shit! they have the tenderest fucking conversation in literary history while crowley is drunk in a bath it’s wonderful
a culmination of miracles by prettydizzeed / @genderqueercrowley - 1.3k - an absolutely beautifully written fic about crowley having chronic pain and informing aziraphale about it six thousand years later
i keep a window for you (it’s always open) by prettydizzeed / @genderqueercrowley - 2.4k - a complete fkcing war crime of a fic of crowley getting emotional about romeo and juliet and continuing to be emotional about it for centuries and then, even worse, quoting r+j in a love confession.
such surpassing brightness by handful_of_silence - 7.7k - one of my favorite fics of all time! aziraphale is the patron of queer people and has been for thousands of years! fuck!
it’s the light (it’s the obstacle that casts it) by handful_of_silence - 5.7k - “The Patron Saint of London's LGBT Community is real, and he lives in Soho.” aziraphale and crowley speak polari. literally so up my alley i melted when i saw it
your hair was long when we first met by aziraphvle / @aziraphvle - 1.4k - crowley asks aziraphale to cut his hair and we are taken on a thousand-word journey about how aziraphale loves his hair and loves him and it’s. a whole lot. bringing samson by regina spektor into it was entirely uncalled for. again i am Weak for aziraphale loving and caring for crowley.
and then i will kneel down (explicit) - 5.4k - f. fleabag omens. it’s the confession scene but it’s aziraphale and crowley. it is More than you could ever possibly imagine
hard feelings/loveless by witching - 2.3k - "Aziraphale said it was like the opposite of the feeling you’re having when you say things like “this feels spooky.” Crowley didn’t know what to make of that, but he expected it was something like the opposite of the feeling you get when the only person who truly knows you makes a cryptic remark suggesting that you can’t understand love. Crowley understood love all too well.”
the saddest part of my day by witching - 3k - "crowley is preparing to leave on a demonic assignment, and he's very nervous about leaving aziraphale in charge in his absence.” they have a very open and honest and loving and very adult conversation about their feelings and tbh? That’s My Kink
summer and his pleasures by witching (explicit) - 7.2k - “absence makes the heart grow fonder, and crowley and aziraphale’s hearts were plenty fond to begin with. a story told through phone calls while they are separated for work-related reasons.”
penance by blissymbolics / @blissymbolics (explicit) - 5.9k - praise kink/crowley finally gets off after six thousand years of trying
like a prayer for which no words exist by lipsstainedbloodred - 8.1k - “In which Crowley and Aziraphale do not dine at the Ritz after that nasty business with Heaven and Hell, and Crowley has an existential crisis instead.”
men have gone to heaven for smaller things than that by mercuryhatter - 713 words - Robbie Ross’ funeral. “Aziraphale finds an age slipping away from him.”
where you stay i will stay by mercuryhatter - 866 words - men at the Hundred Guineas Club went by women’s names. aziraphale chose naomi and paid to keep the name ruth available in case crowley woke up. aaaaa
the hour/the spot/the look/the words by planethunter - 2.5k - “Crowley watches Pride and Prejudice (2005) and it spurs a realisation.” you can imagine what a trial it is to read p+p 2005 being brought into good omens but life is nothing but suffering apparently, i’ve learned that this summer through this fandom
and the punchline to the joke is asking SOMEONE SAVE US by princex_N / @princex-n - 5.8k - “The fact of the matter is that Crowley was the first bitter cripple to limp across the face of this planet. It's been 6000 years and things don't seem to have gotten much better.”
birds of a feather by idiopathicsmile - 3.6k - idiopathicsmile of world ain’t ready fame. if your life can be divided into Before Les Mis and After Les Mis, you understand. “Aziraphale nests. Crowley relearns some crucial facts about angelic courtship rituals.”
covet by mirawonderfulstar / @mirawonderfulstar - 2.4k - “Aziraphale, little good though it did him, wanted desperately. He wanted with an urgency that scared him. He wanted wine, and cocoa, and the occasional tea. He wanted gravlax with dill sauce, and Pappardelle Bolognese, and those awful little iced biscuits they had at Tesco at Christmastime. He wanted dinners at the Ritz and long walks in the park and late nights in the back room of his shop. He wanted Crowley. Fervently, achingly, he wanted Crowley.”
indellible by greased_lightning_rod / @aziraphallist (explicit) - “It turns out glitter is miracle-proof and, also, that it itches. Crowley needs some help preening. He gets a bit more than he bargained for.” Wing kink. yall know i’m weak for aziraphale taking care of crowley sue me
get religion quick (cause you’re looking divine) by brinnanza - 4.2k - “So it was fine. Even if Crowley couldn’t love him, he clearly liked him well enough, and that was almost the same thing. It no doubt would have continued to be fine, or at least fine-adjacent, were it not for a narrowly averted apocalypse and several bottles of a really quite nice Riesling Aziraphale had found in the back room of his newly restored bookshop.”
the nuances of “together” by mirawonderfulstar @mirawonderfulstar 2.8k - “Everybody in the whole world can tell Aziraphale and Crowley are a couple. Everyone except, apparently, Crowley.”
listen (he’s already told you five times) by darcylindbergh / @forineffablereasons - 1.8k - “Not everything Crowley says is said out loud. Aziraphale doesn't always hear him at first, but he's learning to stop being surprised.” Love!!! Languages!
sudden and surprising moments of overwhelming affection by darcylindbergh @forineffablereasons - 2.7k - “Aziraphale has not shut up in thirty-four minutes. Crowley’s been counting.” O More I Love Your Silly Aziraphale Things Shit. if you’re a neurotic talkative gay and insecure about it that particular genre of good omens fic is ruinous.
things truly terrible by darcylindbergh / @forineffablereasons - 1.2k - “Crowley has said some truly terrible things over the years, but this was the worst.” tooth-rotting-sweet love song-fueled confession.
tell me all the ways by tinsnip - 1.6k - “Crowley was out in the garden. Aziraphale was in his study, most definitely not looking out the window. Really. Really. One little speck of sentiment: was it so much to ask?” More! Love! Languages!
a name for earth by regencysnuffboxes - 1.1k - “Demons can’t say holy names, and Aziraphael accommodates his new friend accordingly.”
a home at the beginning of the world by stereobone / @stereobone - 5.8k - crowley just kind of. moves in with aziraphale. Meaningful Interior Decorating! Couch Metaphor! yall know what i’m weak for
#i hope you're back on your feet soon!#and i hope these keep you occupied until then :)#henry speaks#good omens#fic rec#caniwritemywayout
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I See What You Did There
What’s two plus two?
Huh? What? What’s happening?
What’s two plus two?
Oh, shit, right, I have a book review blog, don’t I? I mean, things have been a bit hectic these past few months and I’m also trying to be a real writer...
What’s two plus two?
Yeah, you’re right, I shouldn’t neglect my tumblr, even if nobody reads it. And come on, computer, it’s not like I’ve been in a coma for four years, two plus two is clearly five and we all love Big Brother, OK? Gah.
Uhhh...And by that, I mean: Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir!
Dr. Ryland Grace wakes up in a spaceship with no memory of how or why he’s there. He’s a junior high school science teacher, what the hell is he doing on a spaceship? Also, the other two astronauts are dead. Like, really dead. So far as how things are going for Dr. Grace right now, I’ll let Pete Campbell give you a hint:
Slowly, veeeery slowly, Grace’s memory starts to come back to him: he’s on a mission to save the Earth. There’s this nasty space bacteria-thingy called Astrophage that’s dimming the light of Mr. Burns’s archnemesis: the Sun.
There’s a lot of science involved, but Weir explains, in great detail, just how Astrophage dims the Sun and why that’s really, really, really, really bad for the Earth. Like, apocalyptic-bad. Billions will die bad. Famine, disease, war, rocks fall, everyone dies and freezes to death bad. Only not right away. Over the course of several years. So everyone will die, but they’ll get to do it real slowly.
Yay?
Like so, but it ends with everybody dead and the Earth being rendered uninhabitable. All of Grace’s wee little students will grow up watching their Earth slowly die. Unless Project Hail Mary finds a solution. And there seems to be a solution out there - Tau Ceti seems to be the only star not infected with Astrophage. Why? How? What? So this all powerful woman called Stratt, who has been given authority by just about everyone (how? Reasons. Don’t ask questions) yanks Grace out of his classroom - first to study Astrophage, and then, somehow, he can’t remember exactly, roped him into going on a dozen-light-year journey to Tau Ceti with the crew of the Hail Mary.
Only the rest of the crew is dead. Something went wrong while they were in a coma during their four-year space voyage. Grace is alone.
Inside the Hail Mary.
Full of a dude called Grace.
I see what you did there, Weir. Don’t think I didn’t see what you did there. I mean, you don’t even have to be Catholic to see what you did there.
Anyway, long-winded flashbacks and lots of science ensues. I struggled with the first quarter of the book - not for any particular reason other than I started reading this book in the latter half of 2020 and I was having a hell of a time concentrating on...well, everything. Remember 2020? Yeah, it wasn’t great. I mean, I’d need a lot of “not great, Bob!” gifs to describe just how bad those last few months of 2020 were.
And then I thought 2021 would be better. Ahahaha we barely made it six days. Seriously, everything is terrible and how do I even concentrate on a dumb book blog let alone a book all about science and the Earth slowly dying because the sun is dimming and -
Soon enough, however, Grace spots something on the Hail Mary’s radar. It’s...another spaceship? All the way out by Tau Ceti? At first, Grace thinks maybe its another ship from Earth, like a backup plan, that’d make sense, right? Only it’s not.
Who could it be?
Aliens?
Yeah, it’s aliens.
Our friend Grace gets to be the dude to make first contact with the sentient, spider-like creatures of the first planet in the system 40 Eridani. Turns out 40 Eridani is also infected with Astrophage, which is causing all sorts of problems for the Eridians, and their ship just happened to be around Tau Ceti at the exact same time as the Hail Mary. Crazy, right? Anyway, after the initial first contact and the long, drawn-out process of learning to communicate with one another (with no help from Amy Adams or Jeremy Renner), Grace and the lone Eridian, whom Grace christens Rocky, team up to save their respective worlds.
Science and plenty of flashbacks ensue.
I’m not a scientist - well, I have a master’s degree in library and information science, which, I guess, is a science? I mean, uh...I could tell you where all the sciency books are in the library. 500s if you’re using Dewey, and if you’re using Library of Congress, it will depend on what you’re looking for - you’ll want to start with Q for general sciences, QA for math books, QB and QC for astronomy and physics, QE, GC, GB, QC, TN for earth sciences, QD, TN, TP, and TR for chemical sciences, GE and bits of GF, QE, QH, QC, and TD for environmental sciences, QH, QK, QL, QM, QP, and QR for life sciences, QA75-76.9, TK5101-TK6720, TK7800-TK7895, and Q334-Q390 for computer sciences, telecommunication and artificial intelligence, Q, R, S, and T for the history of sciences and if you’re looking for bibliographies and finding aids for topics in the sciences, look under Z.
You know. Science.
OK, so I may not be a scientist. I may be bad at math because numbers somehow magically switch themselves around on paper whenever I look at them. Why? Because my brain sucks, that’s why. I may have spent most of my chemistry classes reading YA books under my desk (worth it!). I may have only passed high school physics by cheating off a girl younger than I was, but hey, the joke was on me: my high school physics teacher wasn’t even qualified to teach physics.
Gotta love rural public schools.
My point is, while the science may be lost on me and my brain which is full mostly of Simpsons quotes rather than actual knowledge, I do loves me a fun story where Science (with a capital S) saves the day. And, make no mistake, this book is fun. You might get a bit bogged down by the science, but once you get past it, this is a highly enjoyable story of one dangerously unqualified guy desperately trying to save the world with his new BFF, alien spider guy who speaks in musical notes. It’s up to them and them alone. Good luck, guys! Don’t forget that billions upon billions of lives depend on you. No pressure.
Seriously, if you loved The Martian, you’ll love Project Hail Mary. They’re similar, but Hail Mary is on a much larger scale than The Martian - there’s a lot more at stake in the hands of one guy. Plus: aliens!
Without spoiling anything, I’ll just say I would have loved more from the ending. I would’ve loved an epilogue from some of the other character’s perspectives or something. I mean, I could even go with a sequel! Maybe something where Erid and Earth are finally able to communicate? There’s a lot of potential for short stories or novellas set in the same world as Project Hail Mary - there’s got to be bonus material there and I want it. More, please? That’d be nice. I’d definitely read it. So... Hop to it, Weir!
One last complaint: Grace doesn’t swear. Like, at all. Meanwhile, Mark Watney is over here like
Come on, Grace, would it kill you to say “fuck” or “shit” every now and again? I mean, I sipped coffee that was too hot and let out a bunch of words that’d make a 19th century whaler blush. Geez.
RECOMMENDED FOR: Fans of The Martian, science-y people, people who enjoy a heavy dose of science in their sci-fi, people who just want a fun story
NOT RECOMMENDED FOR: People with no mind for science, people who are against fun, anyone who doesn’t like sci-fi, aliens, fun, etc.
RATING: 4/5
ALIEN RATING:
RELEASE DATE: May 4, 2021 (HEY! Don’t think I didn’t see what you did there, too, Ballantine Books!)
ANTICIPATION LEVEL FOR SPINOFFS / SEQUELS / BONUS MATERIAL OF ANY KIND: Olympus Mons.
DID I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE?
#project hail mary#andy weir#fiction#book review#science fiction#hard science fiction#sff#sci-fi#tau ceti#rocky#adrian#hail mary#ryland grace#apocalyptic fiction#first contact#aliens#global dimming#astrophage
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Brooklyn Baby | JJ Maybank
SERIES MASTERLIST | chapter one
chapter summary: Nikki goes out of her comfort zone and bonds with Kie, while still remaining curious about what happened last summer. At a party, Topper gets a little too touchy, and Nikki (surprisingly) befriends Rafe and Wheezie.
warnings: drinking, smoking, HARD DRUGS, swearing (oops), HARRASSMENT (topper gets VERY touchy) so if that makes u uncomfy just skim over that, and a conversation about addiction/rehab and therapy
word count: 5029
Chapter 2: Cinnamon Girl
If I had to choose, B Days would be my least favorite. On B days, I have no classes with anyone I know, except English with Kelce at the end of the day.
And no one to sit with at lunch.
On my second day of school, when I realized I had no one to sit with, I ate in the library. You’re allowed to, so long as you clean up after yourself and stuff.
Walking into the huge cafeteria, with clean white titles and those long foldable school tables, I decided to do the same thing today; just sit in the library by myself, and maybe read or shop online, The tall walls of the cafeteria were decorated with motivational quotes and the school’s athletic accomplishments.
But when I was walking towards the lunch line, I saw Kiara sitting by herself out of the corner of my eye, head down on the table. Which made me feel really, really sad for her.
I stood in line quietly, AirPods in my ears, scrolling through Instagram when I found Kiara’s page. I didn’t want to seem like a stalker, but my curiosity got the best of me and I clicked on it.
Her page reminded me of this social activist that I follow that of a social activist I follow, the difference being that Kiara’s page was mostly environment-focused, with the occasional selfie and pics of her friends.
Clicking on one of her them, a selfie with her and her four friends on a boat during sunset, I saw a slightly sunburned brunet with his arm wrapped around one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen. She’s probably a TikToker, I thought. Sunburn had a dark blue bandana wrapped around his neck and had his shirt unbuttoned. Major surfer boy vibes.
Next to Tiktok, was Kiara, with bright eyes and a bright smile. Completely different from the girl who sits behind me in APUSH. The boy next to Kiara had dark skin and curly hair. He was wearing a hat, like Sunburn and the other boy next to him. And judging from the way his arm was around her waist, Hat totally had a thing for Kiara.
But the last boy, holy shit, if I thought Sunburn was cute, Hot Blonde Boy was another level. He was the one taking the picture, with one arm stretched out to hold the phone and the other one, covered shiny rings, was posing with, like, the rock hand sign? I think that’s what it’s called: with his index and pink fingers up, and the rest like they’d be balled in a fist. His messy blonde hair was being held together by a red snapback, and he was shirtless except for his shark tooth necklace. His tan went well with his bright, energetic eyes and big smile but...oh my gosh. His hands. They were big, with long fingers, and his arms were a little veiny and-
I put my phone away. Nuh-uh, I’m not going to be thirsting over a random guy’s hands, especially when that guy could literally be dead, or worse, the crazy dude who tried to shoot Topper.
Not that I don’t understand why someone would want to shoot Topper.
I grabbed my tray, putting a Chicken Caesar salad bowl (yum), a bowl of grapes (double yum), and a water bottle onto my tray. Remembering that Kiara didn’t have any food with her, I grabbed a hamburger, too.
I paid for my food and walked towards the utensil holder, debating whether or not I should just go to the library or sit with Kiara. I mean, I should sit with her, she’s by herself and is going through a hard time, but then again, I hardly know her. Besides exchanging numbers with her yesterday and not even texting her, I never interacted with the girl. She’ll probably think I’m just talking to her to get tea for Topper and Scarlet.
But then again, I already bought her a hamburger.
I walked over to her table. She was wearing a similar outfit as she was yesterday, the only difference being she was wearing light blue jeans. So, yay? A bit of color?
I sat down across from her and put my tray down quietly, not wanting to scare her. “Hey.”
Her head shot up immediately. Her soft brown eyes looked so tired, her light brown skin looking ashy and dull. Her dark brown hair, with it’s nice, defined beach wave curls, was tied back in a bun in her hood. When she saw who it was, her face softened. “Oh, hi.”
“I hope it’s ok I’m sitting with you, I don’t know anyone else in this lunch and I thought it’d be good to discuss our project.” I waved my hands around a bit before opening the plastic lid of my salad.
She nodded, eyeing my food for a second.
My heart hurt. Of course, she has the money to buy food, that’s not the issue. She probably hasn’t been eating out of grief.
“So I’m Indian, duh,” I waved my hand in front of my face and she smiled softly, “and I thought this was a chicken burger, but it’s beef. And I can’t eat beef, because, ya know, Hindus don’t eat beef. So, like, could you do me a solid and eat this for me? I hate wasting food and I’d feel awful if I threw it out.” I slid the burger towards her.
She nodded, pulling it towards her and taking a small bite.
I poured my croutons into my salad and started quietly eating when I heard Kiara mumble, “Thank you.”
I glanced up at her for a second, only to look back down. “Don’t thank me. I bought that on accident.”
“I saw you staring at me in line. And...I haven’t eaten in the past two days.”
I looked back at Kiara, who was looking everywhere but me. I decided to just ask.
“It’s because of what happened to your friends, right? You’re mourning?”
She nodded, still not looking at me.
“I understand. Grief isn’t something that has, like, a definitive answer. You just gotta let it run its course,” I said, putting my hand in front of my mouth because I was chewing.
Kiara nodded again and took another bite, a bigger one this time. I mentally high-fived myself for getting her to eat. I didn’t think it’d work.
“So, what do you want to do for the project?” I asked.
Kiara shrugged. “We could do current events. Maybe something environment related?”
“Like, an advertisement? We make a video talking about pollution or something?”
“Yeah! Or maybe we could organize something and get a bunch of people to come together and, like, clean up the beach?”
“Or we could go out on boats and find trash in the ocean?”
“That too!” Kiara’s eyes were shining now, and she was smiling. Wide. Much like the girl whose Instagram I was stalking.
“Sweet. Ok, so, the environment is one thing, do we have any other ideas? Like, isn’t the Outer Banks also famous for shipwrecks or something? I heard The Royal Merchant sank here. Maybe we could do a project on that?”
Kiara stiffened up when I mentioned shipwrecks. Did I say something wrong?
Shit. Her friends died at sea, how could I be so stupid?
“That’s...not a bad idea, actually. I happen to know a lot about The Royal Merchant. More than I want to know, actually,” She chuckled. She looked down at her hands, and then looked back up. “John B, my friend who died at sea over the summer, he and his dad were obsessed with finding it. We actually-,” she leaned closer to me. “We actually found it. But, uh, the gold isn’t there.”
My eyes went wide. I leaned forward, too. “Well, where is the gold then? Do you know?”
Kiara nodded. “In the Bahamas.”
“How the f- How did it get there, if the shipwreck happened here and no one knew where it was until you and your Pogue friends found it?”
She sighed. “Long story. I’ll tell you another day.”
“Wait-”
The lunch bell rang. I sighed as we stood up and grabbed our bags, walking towards the doors to leave for class. I really want to know how the gold ended up in the Bahamas.
“Well, thanks for lunch, Nikki!”
“Of course, Kiara, that’s what friends are for,” I smiled.
Kiara beamed. “Call me Kie.”
I was overjoyed. A friend. A real, actual friend. “Kie. Fantastic. Hey, Kie, do you know anyone named Rafe by any chance?”
Kie narrowed her eyes. “Yea, why?”
“Oh, nothing, I was just invited to his birthday party this Saturday.”
Kie rolled her eyes. “Be careful around him, ok? Talk to you later!”
“Uh, bye!”
************************************************
Yellow, or blue?
I held both dresses up to myself, looking in the mirror.
Saturday came, and it was time for Rafe’s party.
The party starts at 9 and was gonna last all night, but Topper wanted to take me out to eat, so at 7:30, I’m still deciding which dress to wear.
Both dresses are sundresses, short, flowy with shirred backs and knotted straps. They are literally the same dress, down to the little polka dots, just in different colors. I could wear either one, because I kept my makeup simple: concealer, nude eye shadow, mascara, and clear lip gloss.
I texted Kiara, asking her to choose a color, to which she responded yellow. We managed to get really close in just three days, which made me happy, because I felt that she was my only real friend at school, and, well, I was her only friend there.
I slipped the dress on and matched it with my white Birkenstocks. I went over to my dresser table (yes I have two mirrors in my room, sue me) and put on my white tassel fringe earrings. I kept my ‘Om’ necklace on.
I admired myself. My light brown skin looks good with the yellow and white, and my jet black hair, which I decided to not straighten, had slight waves, and reached my shoulders. I look like a rich, beach girl. A Kook, I suppose.
I grabbed my phone, taking a quick mirror selfie and snapping it to Topper, captioned ‘i’m readyyy’. He opened it immediately.
‘Damnn u look hot,’ he typed out. Ew.
‘aw ty,’ I typed back. ‘where r u?’
‘I’m omw. U have ur bag? The party’s on a yacht and there’ll be a pool.’
‘swim suit’s packed’
‘Fantastic. I’ll be there soon.’
I locked my phone, putting it into my purple and black NYU drawstring bag that also held my black bikini and a towel. I grabbed the bag hopped down the stairs.
Mallory and Krish, my sister-in-law and brother, were sitting on the couch, watching TV.
“Hey losers. My friend’s gonna be here any minute to pick me up.”
Mallory turned to face me, smiling. “Aw, you look cute! Have fun, and be safe, ok?”
“If you’re gonna be coming in, like, super late,” Krish added, not taking his eyes off the TV, “try to be as quiet as possible. Diya is a really light sleeper.”
Diya, my 5-month-old niece, made baby sounds. I took a couple steps forward and saw she was spread out on the floor, in her fluffy pink blanket, chewing on her gloved hands. I waved at her.
“Don’t worry, if I wake her up, I’ll take care of her. I don’t plan on drinking or smoking or anything tonight. Well, maybe drinking, but that’s it.”
They laughed. “Ok, ok, just have fun,” Mal said.
I sat on the floor, playing with Diya, until 7:50, when the doorbell rang, revealing Topper, wearing a black button-down shirt that was rolled up to his elbows (bless), Air Force 1s, ripped jeans, and a Gucci belt.
He smiled. “Ready to go?”
I smiled back. “Yep.” I turned to face Krish and Mal. “Bye Mom, bye Dad!”
“Bye, hun!” Mallory called out. They smiled and Top, too, and waved.
I closed the door and left, and Topper grabbed my hand to lead me to the car. “Sorry, I’d have introduced you to my parents, but they were too busy, like, ogling at my baby sister,” I half lied.
Topper laughed, “No worries. I’ll have plenty of chances to meet them, I hope?”
I smiled. “Yep, I hope so too.”
A complete lie.
******************************************
Dinner with Topper was...interesting. Instead of taking me to some fancy restaurant or whatever, he took me to this cute little diner closer to the beach, but not close to The Cut, according to him. “There are a bunch of restaurants here in the Banks,” he had said. “But not a lot of people know about this one. That’s why it’s my favorite.” He winked, and I nearly vomited in my mouth.
The place was real old-timey, with the little booths and a jukebox. We had burgers and shared a plate of fries and a milkshake. And honestly? It would’ve been really romantic if I actually liked Topper like that.
Don’t get me wrong, Topper is hot. He’s sweet to me, like cotton candy sweet, and really affectionate. I love touchy boys (consensual, of course, or they get their shit rocked), but he’s always grabbing my hand and playing with my hair. Which would be fine, but I barely know him.
And ever since he admitted to drowning that John B kid, whatever potential feelings I had just...disappeared. That paired with his Holier-than-thou attitude and his blatant classism makes him everything I would hate in a person, let alone a potential boyfriend.
Besides, I know the real reason he’s flirting with me. The Kook King of High School needs a Queen, and with his ex gone, everyone wants me to step into that role. Any other time, I’d be happy to be That Girl. But something just feels wrong about this.
Lots of people have told me I remind them of Sarah, apparently because she, too, was a bit of a social activist and an environmental freak (no wonder her and Kie were friends) which just confirms the fact that I’m just a replacement.
But, besides Kie, I have no other friends at OBX High. I have no choice but to go with it.
Driving close to the dock, I could hear loud music playing from somewhere. Leaning forward, I saw the yachts, one of them in particular already pretty full of people and neon lights.
“Yeah, Rafe tends to go all out on parties,” Topper remarked, gesturing towards the boats as he parked. “But they’re always fun.”
I nodded, plastering on a smile. I grabbed his hand. “Fantastic. Lead the way.”
**********************************************
Ok, I have to hand it to OBX kids. They know how to get turnt.
At 9:30, the yacht left the dock and headed towards the sea. By 10, the party was in full form, with kids dancing, singing, swimming, smoking, drinking, everything!
It was a glorious mess.
Right now it’s 10:30, and I’d been dancing with Top when we decided to go get something to drink.
We went to the bar and I told Topper to just one of whatever he was drinking for me, so he got two Mai Tais. The bartender looked really worried, because, you know, more than half the kids at this party are underaged, so I slipped him a 50 for his troubles.
Top and I walked away, laughing at the bartender’s confused face. The familiar feeling of alcohol started to wash
We walked around and talked about life and the universe, and when we finished our drinks, we went to the deck.
I leaned onto the railing, staring into the ocean.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” I asked softly. Growing up in Brooklyn Heights, I was never one for the ocean. I mean, sure, there were beaches an hour or two away from my old home that I visited often, but I was always a city girl. But this, this was something else entirely. The way the pale, white moonlight shined on the dark blue ocean, it was comforting, almost.
“Yeah,” Topper whispered back, wrapping his arm around my cold body, “really is beautiful.” I turned and saw him staring at me, smiling just a tiny bit. I shoved him lightly.
“You’re so corny,” I laughed.
“Maybe, but I made you smile, didn’t I?”
“...Shut up.”
We laughed, and he wrapped both arms around me and pulled me close to him. I stiffened a bit. Calm down, Nikki. It’s not that big a deal. But it is. I hate leading people on and I hated that he was always touching me.
I snuck my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest. I’m short, I’ll admit it, standing at a towering five foot four with my two-inch platforms. Topper, on the other hand, is six feet tall, so my head tucked in just underneath his.
We stayed like that for a bit, swaying softly to some pop song. I felt myself relaxing, but I knew it wouldn’t last long.
“Hey, Nikki?”
“Yeah?”
“I, uh, I really like you.”
I pulled back and looked at Topper, who was fidgeting with my hair, and I narrowed my eyes “Wait, actually?”.
I hope he’s joking. He’s known me for less than a week! I mean, sure, you can have an instinct attraction to someone, yadda yadda, and maybe he wants to get to know me better, or whatever. Fine.
Maybe it’s because I don’t like him that, but I find his declaration of feelings a little ridiculous.
“Yea, I do. I know we just met, but I really want to get to know you more. No, I’m not asking you out...unless you want to date, that is, but I feel insanely attracted to you.” He brushed his hair back nervously.
I could reject Topper, and risk my popularity and social standing. It could end up well, it could end up terribly. But if I say I like him back, which is a lie, I guarantee my place as the most popular girl in the Outer Banks.
I place my right hand on his shoulder and my left hand on his cheek. Standing on my toes, I gently guide his face to mine.
As I close my eyes, I imagine that I’m not about to kiss Topper, but Hot Blonde Boy from Kie’s Instagram.
His lips are soft, really soft, and Top’s hands drop to my waist to pull me closer to him.
After we pull away, he tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear and gently kisses my forehead.
“I like you too, Top,” I lied, “but I don’t want to rush into anything. We just met, and I’ve rushed into things before, and they never ended well, and-”
“Hey, hey, I get it,” he takes his hand to my chin and lifts it up so that I’m looking at him instead of the floor. “We can go as slow as you like, all right?”
I smile and nod. Top cups my face in his hands, and right before he can kiss me, I pull away and say, “Let’s go swimming! I’m going to go change, ok?”
He nods, ruffling his hair. I turn, pulling my phone out from my duffel bag and sending a text to Kie.
‘sos i just kissed topper.’
I walk into one of the changing rooms and change into my bikini. As I’m stuffing my dress into my bag, I see I get a text back.
‘dumbass!!’
**********************************************
Apparently, when I said I wanted to go swimming, it translated to yeeting me into the pool and then jumping in after, and then us splashing each other, non-stop. I mean, I guess that is what you do at a pool party, but I have no idea. Usually, I just stand around and eat food and, you know, don’t actually go into the water.
It was fun and all, yea, but I was uncomfortable the entire time because he couldn’t- no, wouldn’t- keep his hands off of me.
After it became too much, I jumped out of the pool and sat down on one of the chairs, wrapped my towel around myself and feeling really uncomfortable. Topper climbed out after me and sat down at my feet. “Did I, uh, do something?”
Yeah, you won’t stop touching me, bro.
“No, no, it’s fine, I just got a bit claustrophobic, that’s all.” I checked the time on my phone. I had an idea. “Hey, I’m going to go find Kelce and Scarlet, ok?”
“Uh, sure, do you want me to come with you?”
Not really, no. “Uh, if you want, but I was just gonna have, like, a girl’s talk with Scarlet?”
Topper nodded and smiled. I stood up, shoved my towel into my bag, slipped my shoes on, and ran off.
I felt a little weird just walking around in a bikini, especially since I don’t know anyone here, but remembering that everyone else was just as scantily clad as I was made me feel a little better.
I went to the highest deck, where the eldest kids (and by kids I mean like seniors and 20-year-olds), hoping to find Kelce or Scarlet there because I hadn’t seen them anywhere else. But I couldn’t see them on the deck.
I walked around a bit and then decided to text Scarlet.
‘where are you?’
I got a text back immediately. ‘Top deck, near the front. I’m with the little kid.’
Little kid? I walked towards the front side of the ship and indeed saw Scarlet, wearing a dark red colored bikini, sitting in a lounging chair with a girl who looks like she’s in middle school. The kid was pale, with freckles, dark hair, and glasses. She was the only one at this point not wearing a bathing suit.
Why is there a kid here?
I sat down in the seat next to Scarlet and gave her a hug. “Hey!” I slipped my bag off my shoulders and leaned forward to face the young girl. “Hi. What’s your name?”
She smiled. “I’m Wheezie. My brother’s the birthday boy.”
“Wheezie?”
“It’s a nickname, my real name is- Oh, hey, Topper!”
I spun around. Topper was standing in front of me, arms angrily crossed over his bare chest. “Hey, Wheezie. Nikki, can I talk to you?”
“I’m enjoying the company of my new friend.” I gestured over to Wheezie.
“Yeah, well, I want to talk.” He roughly grabbed my wrist and yanked me up.
“Ok, jeez, lemme grab my bag.” I pulled myself from his grasp and turned around to grab my bag. Scarlet mouthed the words be careful, to me. I nodded.
“Bye, Nikki, it was nice to meet you!” Wheezie called out. I shouted pleasantries back. Topper grabbed my wrist again.
After dragging me halfway across the deck, he let go of me and turned around. “What’s wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with me?! What’s wrong with you?! You’re the one who, one, won’t stop touching even though we’re not dating and we barely know each other, and two, literally dragged me away from my friends when I was having a conversation with them! Are you like this with all the girls you like? Huh? Maybe that’s why your girlfriend left you for some Pogue, not because Pogues steal things, but because you-” I stepped forward and shoved Topper, “-don’t know how to treat a girl, no, a person, with respect!”
I stopped talking and realized that a lot of people had gone quiet. My face flushed with embarrassment until I heard someone shout.
“WOO! You tell him, Nikki!”
I turned and saw Scarlet and Wheezie jumping up and down and clapping. Soon, all the girls (and some of the boys) around me were clapping and cheering for me, congratulating me and telling Topper that he’s a dick.
I stepped towards Topper. “You and me, whatever thing you think we had going on, it’s done.”
I turned around and beckoned Wheezie and Scarlet to sit back down with me on the deck. The partying resumed, and I went off chatting with the two girls, but I saw out of the corner of my eye that Topper was getting all huffy and puffy.
I pointed that out to the girls. “Should I be worried?”
Wheezie wheezed laughed. “He’s probably just going to call Rafe and get him to tell you off.”
“...He’s gonna get the host of the party, who I don’t know and never met, to yell at me? Fantastic. Good thing he’s your brother.”
“Technically half brother, but yes, a good thing. Oh look, there he is right now!”
I turned around and saw Topper marching towards me with another equally tall, equally blonde boy right behind him. The difference is, this boy didn’t have as much of a hostile aura as Topper has right now.
“So, which one of you embarrassed my boy Top?”
************************************************
The boy, who introduced himself as Rafe, the host, beckoned Scarlet, Topper, and I inside of his suite. He closed the door on Wheezie, though. Bummer. I liked her.
Inside his suite were a bunch of twenty-year-olds, drinking hard liquor, dancing, and sitting around this big table. Rafe took his seat in the middle, told everyone else around him to fuck off, and had us, except Topper, sit across from him. Topper took the seat to his right.
He offered us a bag of white powder, to which Scarlet and I declined. Topper took it, though, and started setting it up to use.
“You use coke?” I asked Topper in disgust. I have nothing against most drugs, like weed or psychedelics, which can be fun to use sparingly at parties or whatever, but not hard drugs like opioids.
Topper shrugged at my question. “It’s not a big deal.”
“It is a big deal. What the fuck is wrong with y-?!”
“Ok, no fighting at my party, please?” Rafe sighed, rubbing his temples. “I brought you guys inside so that everyone else can enjoy the party while you guys have your little marital dispute-”
“WE’RE NOT DATING!” I shouted.
“Whatever,” Rafe sighed.
I stood up. “I’m gonna go hang with Wheezie. Scarlet, you coming?”
She was about to respond when Rafe stood up and said, “I’ll join you.”
I shot a confused look at Scarlet, who just shrugged.
I slipped my bag over my shoulder and walked towards the door, which Rafe held open for me, and we stepped outside, the air making me shiver.
Rafe pulled a pack of Dunhill cigarettes out of his pocket, put one to his mouth, and lights it. He gestured the box towards me and I take one, leaning forward a bit so that he could light it for me.
I rest my arms on the railing and close my eyes, breathing in the burning smoke and exhaling it slowly, being submerged in the light-headed haze of nicotine.
“How old are you?” Rafe’s voice interrupts my zen. I open my eyes and look at the boy, who’s very obviously checking out my bikini covered body.
I laughed and took another drag. “Sixteen,” I exhaled the smoke from my mouth.
Rafe’s eyes went wide, and he turned back to the sea. “Oh shit. My bad. Uh...how’re you liking the party?”
“It’s pretty good. Besides, you know, Topper being Topper, and you forcing me to talk to him.”
Rafe laughed. “Yea, I didn’t mean anything by it. I have a reputation of being a prick, and I’m trying to be better but, you know, not a lot of people respect you when you go from being a douche to a nice guy.”
I nodded, understanding what he meant by that. “Reputation with friends?”
He laughed. “Just,” he waved his hand free hand around, “Everyone. I wasn’t a good person. I’m trying to be better, but it’s hard when everyone already expects me to act a certain way and don’t give me a chance to change.”
I noticed the rings on his hands, like that boy from Kie’s Instagram. But unlike Hot Blondie, Rafe’s too old for me.
Which leads me to wonder…
“Did you know Sarah Cameron, by any chance?” I asked.
Rafe’s eyes went wide, and then he started coughing up smoke.
“W-Why do you ask?” He stammers, still coughing.
I gave him a weird look and just shrugged. “Curious, I guess.” I looked back at the ocean. “I’m the new girl, and everyone keeps telling me about all this stuff, but won’t tell me what actually happened, and I dunno, I’m just so confused.”
I turned to face Rafe, who was looking away, and I think I saw tears forming in his eyes. “Yea, Sarah’s my sister.”
Now it was my turn to cough up smoke. “W-”-cough cough- “Wait”-cough cough- “a minute.” I gasp for air and continue coughing. And after I finally manage to get some oxygen into my lungs, I say, “Sarah Cameron’s your sister? Shit, I’m so sorry, Topper never told me.”
Rafe shrugged, fiddling around with his rings. “It’s alright, I was just...surprised. No one asks me about Sarah or the Pogues anymore. After I came back from rehab-” He stopped, probably because he didn’t mean to say that, but he continued, “After I came back from rehab, I just...stopped beefing with the Pogues, especially JJ, Kie, and Pope. You know them?”
I nodded. “I know Kie, we’re friends. But not JJ and Pope. Never met ‘em, don’t even know what they look like, yet I’ve heard so many things about them.”
Rafe nodded. “They’re not bad kids, really. My time away made me realize how much of a prick I’ve been to them. Like, I caused them a lot of pain, and for what? For nothing. Literally just because I thought that, because they were poorer than us, they weren’t as good as us.”
I nodded. Then I turned and smiled, and stretched out my hand. “Well, it was nice to meet you, Rafe Cameron.”
He smiled and shook back.
_______________________________
chapter three
#obx fic#obx#obx fanfic#outerbanks#jj maybank#jj fluff#jj angst#jj x reader#john b#john b x sarah#obx kiara#obx pope#rafe cameron#topper obx
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Return of the Thief Notes, Part Two: The Book of Pheris, Volume 2, Chapters 1-5
Notes from my first read, October 2020. (Part One | Part Three | TaT)
Contents:
Me losing my mind in multiple ways each chapter, helpful links, nighttime garden cousins, an Irene pun, notes from my second read, “mwt is just like going for it,” and “this is so fucked up and heartwarming.”
Format:
Page number. My thoughts (Context?)
Volume 2
Illustration
Book 2 bro
Now we’re caught up and changed forever by lots of things
What printer’s apprentice made this?
Elephants!
Chapter 1
175. me too, Costis, me too. I am so tired. (it’s hard to sleep when your brain and heart and everything are fizzing because you’re reading Return of the Thief for the first time and a new Queen’s Thief book for the last time)
176. Klimun + Gerosthenes vibes [moon doodle]
Holes in documents. That’s cute
Gen!!! <3
Wtf Ansel was hoodwinked!
177. The Queen waited
They’re ridiculous
Hi Pheris
Wtf he stole her earrings for Melheret?!?
178. Excuse me??? What is this book (sleeveless leather tunic)
He still roams!!!
Tattoos!
179. a sentence I never fucking expected to read ever “The absence of tattoos…”
180. that’s interesting
Stacked like kindling wow oh dear
181. She wants him to move in lol
Lol sorry Ion
Did she just want them to leave the room?
182. I can’t with this… I can’t. Why is sex symbol Relius canon. (the play that featured him! It’s great, it’s great, it was just a lot to take in!)
Silver crown?
183. Cleon! Rude!
Did they call Costis to deck him?
Queen scene!! <3
184. This is an epic. Abt Costis. Dirty stranger
185. he’s “the high king”
Lol
187. prophet (Pheris sure makes Costis sound like one)
Shut up Piloxides
188. resources for war! (book launch foreshadowing part two! She talked a lot about this kind of thing as well, and recommended the book Alexander the Great and the Logistics of the Macedonian Army)
189. “we”
What were you gonna say (Gen almost says something to Costis part one)
193. RIP The Magus Archives … it was not to be. Yet.
194. Melenze’s doorstep. Why? Bc Melenze is Ferria’s dog. (idk dude that line from ACoK has just never left me)
195. This is … a big war
196. Oh gen
Nighttime garden cousins.
Chapter 2
197. wtf did Relius think of that play
Also … not a peep from the sacred mountain huh
198. wtf will happen with Cleon
with Erondites
with THE MOUNTAIN
a lot going on
everyone was in that room but Kamet! So close!
199. Cute Fordad + Gen friendship (I never said these notes would make me look smart)
Same 2 T + R! :) It’s not them is it? (I NEVER SAID THESE NOTES WOULD MAKE ME LOOK SMART)
Poor Teleus
200. gdi Gen
Excuse me? Is he worried for Pheris??? (taking his tablet)
They trust each other! C’mon!
Sure he has reasons
202. oh dear. :( that’s … the worst cover story
Also falling
203. wow almost like a story huh
Ula’s altar :(
Why haven’t we had a Gen and Costis scene IN THREE BOOKS
205. I just … I don’t know if he’s just miserable or if it’s all a plan. I feel like I should know it’s all a plan. But he really feels like he has far to go. He’s just a mess and the same and so different. (having a small Gen meltdown)
205. he did give him the gun
Odd that he missed Quedue
206. he’s gonna bite them (buckle up! it’s abdication time!)
207. Power. Power. Power. Power.
Thx 4 the editorializing Pheris
208. Gen is making choices. That’s a choice.
209. There’s KoA down the drain
Aaaand he’s Eugenides
“Eugenides stared into the future”
The page of like 3 different tumblr posts: Trophy husband, Library, No! yes!
210. make sure he doesn’t leave lol
211. Pheris :(
Also fucked up timing for Irene
I love them
212. again with the birthday book
He’s still the king in the narration
Go on the roof! So close!
213. EUGENIDES IS ALWAYS APPROPRIATE my motto
Viper! Bastard!
Oh shit. I love them.
214. “our treaty” “our queen”
AAAH! Wedding night!
Asked her to leave!
Smash Erondites and peace out, literally
215. a frank talk
HE SAID IT.
216. The Bructs?
Wait is this his grandfather (taking a moment to remember all about Susa)
Also that’s Costis territory
217. who is this lion
218. #3 to Gen.
219. hmmm ring
There’s been a lot to unpack wow.
Did this happen, Pheris? Pheris?!
220. Atté atté!
(Dear reader: for some strange reason, I completely forgot about taking notes on the final pages of this chapter. These notes are from when I reread those pages a few minutes later.)
Erondites full cup to brimming
The Pherises…
We must think of others before ourselves … occasionally
I do not like Orutus
Don’t fence Costis in! Does this count as prison? No (I had a square on my bingo board for “someone ends up in prison” ... but it turned out to be for someone else)
221. damn Costis
Aaah
Costis …
Irene… your jokes (I mean, it’s a joke, but also it is very real for her.)
SHE SAID IT!
My heart
222. where is Relius going?
SPYING
What you see and what you think it means (I love these instructions/this quote so much)
So are Susa + Erondites 2gether or what (listen ... proximity generates meaning in these books)
Also, like
What can
I say
WHAT CAN I SAY (Hell yeah! Never more glad to be wrong about the magus)
[page long list of doubles and parallels - from Cleons and Pherises and Ions to god-character and character-character connections]
Also the fact that in KoA and TaT Relius was like … oh … no … I just live a gentle life being friends with my king and queen and being scholarly. But no. He’s SPYING and TRAVELING MYSTERIOUSLY and has MANY LOVERS and also has been WITH TELEUS ALL ALONG and there is a PLAY written about him and he has a ~messenger~ network and PLAYS THE FLUTE and DOESN’T MAKE HIS BED and DISLIKES MATH and oh and he’s VERY HANDSOME! (Yes I was losing it, I hope my note from after the poem helps show some of the feelings behind this rant.)
Fucking … Wine shop. Should have known.
Chapter 3
224. ominous
Hello magus!
Sophos … babe (his impatience!)
225. Magus … cool your socks that’s your bff (he’s just describing Helen’s dead body! Fun!!!!)
In the van
That was good I love them
Why is it Couples Hour?
226. finally we’re out of the capital of Attolia
Ok they’re so cute
She was NEVER Helen in ACoK narration!
Also – Pheris. This is all Pheris. (Pheris plus information others told him!)
227. Bringing each other up to date – that’s their thing. Talking forever
All this talk of shooting Therespides
228. EX FUCKING SCUSE ME (time to learn a lot about the country of Eddis)
He was 15! (or almost 15)
He didn’t know! Or did he!
The MoW!
All thru Pheris
Fuck you magus
When did he know
229. EXCUSE ME
The emeralds?
Assumed the worst?
That classic quote about little to do with winter but with “seducing other people’s lovers”
230. yeah Sophos that’s a lost cause (“spare me my blushes”)
Also she didn’t answer you
What are they laughing about (the generally nameless men we’re learning many things about this chapter)
233. Gen I think it’s fair to say that was a mistake
234. wtf Gen
GEN! he just. Had those. (the jewels!)
Her crown
I cannot
235. Gen!
237. Crash
Her CHANGES
238. THESE TWO
239. called annux
Yeah it’s like … a family meeting (the war council)
Bring your father to work day
241. Oh no.
Stenides! Boagus!!!!!!!
EDDIS!
Wolves! Lol
mwt is just like going for it
243. aww
Eddis > Boagus > Gen
244. Yeah I’m with her on this. (“if that doesn’t frighten you, it should”)
Chapter 4
245. Gen and Magus scene yes!
Two people affected by his long hair (Gen and the magus? I think?)
Pheris are you there?
Gen … you used to wish yourself out of existence
Wow
Hair vanity
Yeah also battlefield
Ion is a darling tbh
248. Is he. Is he going to fight all of them
Also they are all his cousins huh
AULUS! I liked you!
Same, Hilarion
Taking a page out of Costis’s book?
You have definitely seen it before. (I mistook his lie for truth!)
Will Costis hear about this? (please)
249. #4 to Gen!
Pheris where are you
Why doesn’t the Continent want to conquer them (do I get partial credit for this)
A tattoo!
250. “Do not offend the gods”
Honestly … too bad Helen DIDN’T do this
251. he said he’d give all he had
I’m sure there are rules
253. Just men? :( (let everybody fight him!)
Ornon is back! I mean, of course he is
Also yea they practice
HELLO ORNON
A house being built … or one knocked down. Nice
Is Teleus in on this?
254. Pheris called him my king!
255. I wanna know which guards though
:( he’d been faking
Kicked him in the head (ouch)
256. “when he fell”
I … don’t like this
He never gives up. The thieves don’t have limits. They have flash points.
Stepped on his hand
“Enough Gen” – what Irene said?
257. :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
The magus. I forgot he was there.
The magus said … nevermind …
The magus is probs very into this as a cultural thing. Also he was talking to the MoW
Pigeon. The sky. :( Like in TT (OH BOY, THE SKYYYY)
If there was a god, Pheris would see…
258. They’ve, they’ve been through a lot.
Oh god what’s next
259. I … no. not in his arms to the palace.
The palace where….
The stairs…
They are all 3 lookers. Basilisks and brass and lead
I hate this. But I love this.
I will someday see this differently.
Ah yes… the grunt. Approval.
260. Honestly, this is so fucked up and heartwarming. These books.
Lol don’t defend Hilarion, we know him
Eddis visits him.
Attolia watches him.
261.WTF Gen. I knew it. Why.
Crying or laughing? Crying? :(
How does this not undermine her now that he is her king?
But … what he wouldn’t do for her.
262. “he did fine”
This book is like… Reasons Gen Says Sorry
So, so… - Helen
GEN!
263. I am right. I am always right. It’s a curse.
Helen :( :( :(
The amount of times these people have seen him beaten.
He’s like … self destructive, but in a way that gives himself more power. Which he hates.
Gen, let them in. Let them in.
Chapter 5
264. honeycomb
OH NO. is it happening?
266. I’m just supposed to accept this?!! What does it mean?!
267. … a my king moment … important
But like … now can he fight?
Caryatid? [doodle after I looked it up]
268. Teleus!
C’mon Teleus. Everyone you love or respect loves him!
Honestly Pheris and Teleus … not a duo I expected
THESE TWO ARE SO DEDICATED TO TELLING HIM THAT! Ok I should chill. At least he said “may.” These are like … Pheris’s life lessons.
Honestly… I love that Teleus likes poetry, or at least likes it for Relius.
269. Lol Legarus. It’s been years! I mean, I guess that was a big deal for him… (almost being executed is a big deal for most people.)
Does he not love Gen because of Relius? Because Gen manipulated him? Because he keeps sending away his successor? Why on earth not! Hop on that train! (...)
It’s interesting that their relationship is the one that touches Pheris, not Gen and Irene. Hm.
Also … “Idiot.” The parallels.
“relatively gently” (it’s so good)
~Teleus here to talk about love~
This book is full of surprises.
270. That is NOT the bright side, Gen (“I could use my newfound authority to insist on going into battle”)
271. BUNNY! Wtf is a wineglass warrior
Very cute everyone, good job.
Still sad about Helen’s tears.
271. Gen. Don’t say these things. [volcano doodle]
272. SEE I was worried about this! The doubt!
I am not ok
This is TOO MANY Eddisian Revelations (Lader time)
Yeah. Wow.
273. Cleon x5
I … his grandfather
No.
Baby Helen begging
How did Pheris get this scene
Gen chose Cleon for his plan
275. IRENE WITH THE STATS!
276. lol Gen
My brother Sounis!
277. Missing Relius club.
Where is he though
Yes! Sophos Gen food fight!
Grapes!
“Wisdom”
He’s “the king” here and in KoA bc that’s the story but also that’s who he is to Pheris and Costis
278. So how did that Irene and MoW meeting go anyway?
How does Aulus know???
Thief short story! Probably terrible to reread, oh no
279. Are … are Aulus and Boagus together???! (“his slightly smaller partner”)
This feels … potentially traumatic … but fun? Idk
Fleece
280. This dang book. No rules!
The chandelier! So dramatic!
Mwt had … a lot to put into this one. A lot. A lot.
283. “not the Thief he was chasing”
284. The queens! The salute!
He can’t give this up.
Official Worries:
100,000 soldiers heading towards Kamet
Re: Lyopidus, Gen called Sophos his brother. Helen apparently might BE his sister. Temenus and Stenides are also going to a war where 9/10 will probably die.
Also
the MoW could have been a king if he’d stolen Helen’s throne. A lot there.
why does this book have the vibe of the library post, my comic from 2010, the king and queen interactions here, and the military tactics dream
#part twooo#word clouds next#the queen's thief#return of the thief#mwt#rott spoilers#return of the thief spoilers#something i
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Bonus Question Answers! (anime heat 3)
I asked a silly question! You gave me incredible answers. SO VERY MANY INCREDIBLE ANSWERS. If yours is listed below, you’ve earned an entry in a random draw to win a GIFTENING liveblog OF YOUR CHOICE
SURPRISE EVERYONE WHO ANSWERED THIS ONE GETS AN ENTRY (with extra entry if you pulled a specific line). This has been such a struggle for me for the past ... you know, million years or something, and each of you made me feel so good, thank you. ♥
—
Q: This is reaching back into the memory a bit, I know, but what's your favourite of my fanfic? (BONUS BONUS ENTRY if you pull a specific line!)
* i cannot remember a specific line off the top of my head but i remember the post-S series dealing with usagi's trauma from pharaoh 90 (sound of silence?) was a gut punch and a half -- anewconstellation
~~
* "Blue shirt. Pearl buttons." I think this was the first time I read you writing the Outers, particularly Neptune and Uranus, and, uh, holy shit. Absolutely note-perfect dialogue and dynamic, particularly for that period of Sailor Moon S when Michiru and Haruka used intimacy of speech and gesture as an instrument of distancing and obfuscation (of their goals to the Inners, of their hearts to themselves and to each other, of the heli-pad to the staff at Mugen Academy, etc). It was so clear, and so clearly *them* that I could actually hear the intonations of their respective seiyuu. And then to deploy such spot-on character elements in combination with the stakes and the maturity the anime never reached for, my WORD, are you trying to kill me??? The pacing, the restraint! What an absolute gift. You're a wonder.
(also your drabbles are fuckin peerless, and the BTL concept is such a clever series framework) -- @rasiqra-revulva
~~
* This was so hard to pick from, but I finally settled on "Cause and Affect" - it's such a heartbreaking story, but the juxtaposition between the clinical lines of information from the computer to the memories Ami is dealing with to the horror of the visuals around her... it's so bright and sharp and PRESENT. It keeps me in the story, that mix of tones and feelings. And the final line? Perfection. "Number of regrets: none" What an amazing take on Ami and how she processes information and how she deals with the situation she is in. I still get chills up my back when I read the story. -- @amberlilly
~~
* I love your Between the Lines series, it's how I found your Tumblr and liveblogs back in the day -- @amboato
~~
* Author Alert. “So never, ever, going to live this down.” -- @crunchbuttsteak
~~
* "Of her word" quote "But for all that, it remained sand. Rei erased it with one swipe." -- Dei
~~
* Between The Lines. Adding further character/emotional depth to canon is YES PLZ. I really liked the whole idea of Usagi having trauma post-Pharaoh 90 and all the chapters that hit on that. On a less serious note Chibs' circus-related PTSD and freaking out when Hotaru wants to go to the circus kills me every time. ("But your precious dreams Hotaru-chan!") -- forgottenfae
~~
* This is probably the obvious choice, but "The Sounds of The Silence" has haunted me in all the best ways since I first read it. The way you write Rei, Usagi, and Rei and Usagi hits me right in the heart every time. This particular fic, with Usagi so traumatized, and Rei being as soft and gentle as Usagi needs, will always stick with me.
I pulled up the fic to try and narrow down a single line, and ultimately there's no real debate. "She would never stop trying to do more, but for now, she simply did this."
That line is, at its core, the essence of Rei Hino. And it is perfection. -- gatorsandglitter
~~
* I don't expect this to win at all, just sharing,, but I just super fondly remembered the goggles and all the amazing content, meta, and fic those inspired, both from you and others -- @goosebytrade
~~
* "You Win or You Die" my favorite line is "She and Rei WOULD have The Moment, they WOULD get their thousand years of bliss, and they WOULD be making out after all this was over. Like, SO HARD." -- @i-needa-nap-please
~~
* I'm always really bad at answering questions like this because my mind has pretty much become a goldfish in my old age and I have a hard time remembering specific fics; it all sort of starts to jumble up in my brain and things get lost. But I have always loved reading your writing, it's what got me onto this godforsaken website in the first place -- it was just before Crystal dropped, and we were all foolishly full of hope and excitement, and you were going through the Moon Pride video and waxing poetic about the FRIENDSHIPS and I was like, "YES! Finally! Someone who understands why I love this stupid kids' show!"
I think I sent you an ask saying this before, (but who knows if you ever got it, Tumblrs being what they are - indifferent) but I tried reading fanfic and even published novels based on properties, like the Buffy novels and Star Trek and Star Wars novels, for a long time, and mostly found it frustrating and annoying and just... wrong. It always had this awkwardness and clunkiness to it that didn't do anything for me and just constantly screamed "THIS IS A FANFIC IT IS NOT REAL WRITING" at me. Didn't like it. But, I liked yours. Yours didn't feel awkward or clunky. You have never written any sentences like, "Rei watched the blonde stand up" where "the blonde" is Minako, and I don't know why fanfic writers think that calling characters "the blonde" or "the redhead" or whatever is sexy or cute but it ain't (sorry, pet peeve tangent). So, when you were writing stuff more, I would read it like it was going out of style, and you led me to Doc's writing, which had the same natural, "this is real writing" quality, and I loved hers, too. Anyway, my favorites of yours have always been the Between the Lines stuff. I just love the "hidden" moments that we didn't get to see. The Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead bits of Sailor Moon (speaking of fanfic that actually works) that bring so much depth to characters we know and love already or to characters we see only briefly. Also, the Shadow Senshi, because FUCK. Just... Kill Me. In any event, I know that writing has been difficult for you of late, and I know how that feels, so I hope that people who are actually able to answer this question have given you some places to go and draw strength from so that it can become part of your life again. TBH, I've been using the bonus questions on your Giftening surveys and Doc's 8 Days surveys as an excuse to try doing some small bits of quick, no pressure, nobody's gonna see it unless you or Doc actually LIKE it, don't think about it writing, and it has been helpful. I hope you can find something that gives you the same opportunity. Now that I've written you a novel that doesn't even answer the question you asked (goldfish, remember? *sigh*), have a gorgeous Tuesday! -- @incorrecttact
~~
* The one with Pluto and Queen Serenity, where Serenity is selfish in a very Usagi way, but her arrogance combined with that selfishness makes it a fatal flaw? I liked that one a lot. -- Jules
~~
* the bit you wrote to 'fill in' a gap for why during r did mamoru act like a distant jerk. My favourite parts were Rei coming to see the same dream, and despite being the one to have the biggest reason to believe in these kinds of prophetic visions, Rei still doesn't believe fate is set in stone. -- just... a fan. a well-baked one
~~
* Make It To New Year's -- @kaleidodreams
~~
* ahhh, where is a link to all of your fanfic? It's the series you started after S, with Rei comforting Usagi, because like you I was let down by the fact that they never followed up on what Usagi saw, or even how she dealt, with the end of S. runner up: the one where Usagi is about to give birth because everything you write with Rei and Usagi is amazing. -- kari
~~
* There was a drabble/draft/something that you used one of my prompts for, and I prompted you with Usagi and Rei, but you did it from Luna's perspective and THAT WAS SO UNEXPECTED and it turned out SO GOOD cause like!!!!!! You made Sailor Moon both someone Luna cares for, because still the legacy of the moon, and someone utterly discouraging for her because *this should not be*, and wow what a way to make it both about Usagi herself and about her powers. -- katrani
~~
* I love the btl fics, they fill in the missing gaps, add depth to the story, and sometimes smooth over things (SuperS) when canon is just...blah. One line I really liked was:
“I was listening, at first, but then I started thinking about how hungry I was, and how a pork bun would be really good right now, and then I wondered what makes a thing a bun, and like, if you put ANYTHING in a bun, does it become a Thing-Bun, so could you make a bun out of another bun and would it be a Bun Bun, and wouldn’t that be the greatest thing to– Rei?”
It's a great run-on, stream of thought sentence that just really catches Usagi's voice, is hilarious, and such a natural progression. -- @kumeko
~~
* “HUG,” Usagi demanded again, because dammit, she’d been promised a hug and SOMEONE was going to deliver.
(The one where Michiru has the hiccups. Because it's fun HaruMichi stuff, because it weaponises Usagi in a useful way, because it manages to (gently) make fun of both perfect!Michiru and saint!Usagi without being mean to either character, and also because I get hiccups a lot and I haaaaate them.) -- nerdy-flutterings
~~
* I can't remember a specific fic, but I LOVE your Shadow Senshi headcanons and they're the main reason I started writing my own Shadow Senshi stories. -- @notesfromtheidiotbox
~~
* The Figuarts saga is the Sailor Moon fic I never knew I needed -- Raye
~~
* Special Delivery is a delight. So much Rei Certainty (that ends up being misplaced). So much Usagi being The Most Usagi About Pregnancy. So much Comedic Hijinks, because why the hell WOULDN’T ‘the Senshi get blindsided when Usagi goes into labor’ end up going full screwball? There’s a lot of great lines there (Rei’s theory about Chibs taking control of the Gate of Time and manipulating things is fantastic, as is the ending,) but my favorite is definitely “Rei Hino if I give birth to my daughter on the side of the road I swear I will go back in time and tear all the pages out of your favorite coloring book! [...] I’ll break the crayons too, Rei-chan!” Delightfully specific and childish, especially since Usagi sticks with it, and that particular brand of comic specificity is definitely a highlight of yours. -- Regalli
~~
* Fire on Mountain!!! When I got to “Her voice was deeper than most expected when facing the certainty of her. It was rough, sandpaper running over cherry. She’d been a singer, once. Nobody would have believed her.” I was like oh. OH! -- Sasha
~~
* My favorite of your fanfic, one one of the first I read is 'Hard to Break'. And my absolute favorite line is Usagi's panic when Minako tries to smoke: "Minako who was almost certainly dying, the cigarette had spread its evil and killed her instantly oh god." -- @shavedjudomonkey
~~
* Tonight Ami would grieve, and wish she understood why.' This Between the Lines about Ami getting her mini computer both haunts me and brings tears to my eyes. -- @shonasof
~~
* I can't remember the title, but it's the one where Minako realizes that Rei's been writing Sailor V fanfic under the name Red Bow -- Somariel
~~
* You would think Mako-chan's Happy Ending, but nope, this one goes to Hard to Break (although I had to look up the exact name.) This thing is filled with such great lines. How am I supposed to pick out one?
"[Watch out, boys,]" Minako said in smooth and entirely unnecessary English. "[Lady Super Cool is on the prowl.]" -- Ultrace
~~
* I forget the title, but it's the 'last senshi standing' fic where Ami is reflecting on the battle that took the others from her.
Detatched and cold as she analyzes Rei Minako and Mako and finally Usagi's death with a medical efficiency, going through her Visors readout and then reflecting that the clinical words were nothing compared to what she'd actually seen. following up the method of death of the senshi with a statistic in relation to her friendship with the girl. Number of milkshakes shared, number of conversations lasting well into the night, number of hugs, number of smiles that brightened the darkest of moods.
Describing how Rei's heart was pulped in a monster's grip, Minako's once beautiful face smashed against the rocks, Mako's lightning that outlived its mistress as she and Usagi ran off, and then finally that one last attempt to protect Usagi failing as 'Cervical Fracture' flashes on her visor. And From there she just... accepts death. sitting beside where Usagi had fallen and waiting for the end.
it's dark af but it's the first one that always comes to mind when i think about ur fics :> -- Vega
~~
* I am extremely predictable here with two of my choices, as you know that I am obsessed with Fire on the Mountain and Blue Shirt, two things you wrote when you "definitely couldn't write" (Sidenote: My new year's resolution is to be harder on your about writing) We all know why I love blue shirt, it's basically an underhand pitch to the face for me, but Fire on the Mountain has a quality of regret and longing that I really connected with, something that really struck me in a way that was powerful. It's different from a lot of your inners work, and I think about Mina posing as Rei, in her disguise magic in the woods, and all the reasons why, fairly often.
Something that MAY come as a surprise to you, is I really wish we got more ofyour overwatch stuff, and maybe I'll just keep asking for this for my birthday for the rest of our natural lives, but I think of like, the one you wrote on 7/14/20, with Pharah longing to have a man to shoot in the face because that would be easier than the emotions around whatever's going on with her, and I'm utterly tantalized. And I loved that hurt/comfort you wrote for me, where Pharah had this single minded drive to find out what had happened to Angela, and Tracer's trying to, well, comfort her, on some level, and the way you described Pharah's "animal cry" was FANTASTIC, and as always I am deeply jealous of your Tracer voice and IF YOU WOULD WRITE IT MORE IT WOULD HELP ME. -- WRITE, BITCH.
~~
* The one were Hotaru confronted Michiru and Haruka about how they had tried to kill her in order to stop the Silence. Such a good little moment =w= -- zorrito
~~
AND THEN THESE WERE UNSIGNED SAD FACE
* Chosen. I like your Overwatch stuff but Chosen was a goddamn masterpiece.
* Operation: Heart Angels. Senshi going after Mamoru for his bullshit was something I didn't know I needed.
* The entirety of Beggars Would Ride, including every single line of Anya's dialogue.
—
I’ll be drawing for the bonus liveblog around the start of THE GIFTENING 2020 (currently looking to be Monday, 11 January 2021). Each bonus question is another chance to earn an entry! I CAN ABSOLUTELY AND SHAMELESSLY BE BOUGHT.
#THE GIFTENING 2020#THE GIFTENING 2020 admin stuff#THE GIFTENING 2020 bonus q#in which jw gets a fuzzy#jw writes stuff
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