#tho im a hater in general so eh
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i mentioned doki in my last post and yeah i kinda dont talk about it as much as the other seasons ive completed huh.
despite my incoming hater rant i uh. dont hate it? but i like every other season ive seen better and that includes tropical rouge, which despite being my first season i do find mid now. though thats really not enough credit to doki, its highs are higher, but its lows are waaaaay lower.
(ramble incoming, not important, just my own scuffed opinion, but its under the cut. also spoilers.)
first off, elephant-shaped ira in the room, yes im a self identified card carrying cure ace hater. i can own that, im fine with it, star twinkle madoka is best madoka, but also i feel like that doesnt give the nuace of how i feel enough credit. its sorta like, yes the fake-out was lame, but a fake out like that is supposed to make more sense in hindsight, when you see the rest of the story and know why it happened, but we REALLY didnt get that. was literally a deus ex machina to save the cures from getting washed by fucked up and evil and purple regina, then proceeds to become an even bigger problem than regina by finessing manas lovies while shes sad about losing her blonde villain gf.
i then made jokes about how aguri is homophobic for the rest of the show
proceeds to be a colossal dickhead for the next 10 episodes, then its revealed she cant back it up cus of the whole time limit thing that they discard at the end, and then just. says sowwy and fades into the bg until endgame arc starts. like we see that she was watching the cures beforehand, but then NEVER stepped in until the regina thing, which. why? she didnt know she and regina were split off from ange until way later, what compelled her? that the cures were gonna lose? howd that not get her moving the several times thatd already happened? theres no reasoning behind it, she shows up, acts like a dickhead, and turns endgame into the aguri show and turns makotos whole arc into an afterthought. most we get out of her after that was the brush your teeth episode. imo actively made the show worse off.
not the only one though cus okada joe, fresh from getting his wife killed and losing his homeworld, gets sent to the main world, immediately starts hitting on middle schoolers. its been said that they were gonna go full coco on this dude but one higherup said "ya nah", but its hard to tell if that happened before or after the show started airing, cus it only fully stops once we see him in the armour suit, going "i miss my wife tails makoto. i miss her a lot" when he was trying to rizz her up like 20 episodes ago. bigger danger to children than king selfish at that rate. only good thing about aguri imo is that okada joe vanishes for like 12 episodes since him meeting aguri would advance the plot.
alice is also kinda lame. nothing else for me to say except half of the alice episodes felt like sebastian the butler episodes, except those were actually fun cus he has a personality thats more than a gentrified toothpick
but also the shows highs are REALLY GOOD. rikka is awesome. the first villain trio is excellent. every scene with regina in it is peak, especially the midseason arc (before aguri anyway). they made a line sticker of that one scene where regina and mana sleep in the same bed and thats the most adorable shit ive ever seen. that one pre-endgame episode with regina and rikka gave kira a run for its money with the funny homo factor. speaking of rikka, the first straight ship (not you raquel) ive seen the series push that isnt either basic as fuck or vomit inducing.
also mana is okay you guys are just mean. when yr in the same show as aguri the mary sue allegations kinda just explode into a cloud of steam
but thats not enough for doki to beat the mid allegations imo. which is a huge shame, this show has so much going for it, but it consistently put a focal point on the things that make it worse! and also why i havent posted about it until literally today, it isnt genuinely great like heartcatch or st, it doesnt have dedicated brain worms inside my frontal lobe like mahopre or kira, and it isnt a show thats overall good but then fumbled its main twist in the most personally aggravating to me way possible like tropical rouge.
oh yeah while im here ive also watched go princess, but that shows issues are more in that anything that isnt towa is kinda just fucking boring, (which is also a shame cus towas the best precure character period bar none) but thats a post for another time
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man. batdr archives. what
i hate them
sorry im gonna go full on hater mode here because oh my god? oh my god
i’ve got a sneaking suspicion that this came out now as damage control for the AI thing because 1. it wasn’t included in the game all along like BATIM’s archives were and 2. this tweet
like was it thrown together in such a rush that they forgot a whole ass character?
or it is a joke and was a planned action half a year after the game came out but eh who knows
either way this is not what i’m here to rant about (cuz im sure this is gonna turn to a rant)
it’s about bad writing, bad exposition and bad game design. buckle up!
i see what they mean with the smile being a challenge to create, you can see in countless animations for fansongs how different artists tackled that and for one i think they did that very well
however. why the clothes exactly? is it just a meta reason with no reasoning in-universe whatsoever?
and look i’m not a fan of the ink demon having a voice (though i respect the craft behind it, the voice actor is very talented, it’s just a personal preference) BUT if you made the ink demon talk you should by logical extension either make toon bendy talk as well or explain why the hell he’s talking? i can see it being distracting but there are characters that have squeaky annoying voices in games and they’re fine (and it’s not like toon bendy is around the player for a super long time)
i dunno what logic this whole thing operates on anymore but if joey commissioned the ink machine then it should be his and arch gate got all his shit after he passed away so idk what retrieve is supposed to mean here
but it could just be badly written sentences and the archive is full of those (once again making me think that the thing was done in a rush)
that’s fair i guess
yall did make him look like a generic demon tho
i mean... it could be worse? if the goal was to make him look out of place then it was achieved but idk if it’s actually a good thing
i do like the bit about Wilson influencing how things look under him being in control of the cycle (though they have a very silly definition about what the cycle is but more about that later)
dude. the beast bendy design was already bad in BATIM and they made it even worse in BATDR like what TToTT
its just an angry mountain of muscles, the batim design at least had that leg injury thing going on which made moving with front arms make more sense, this dude right here is just a big inky gorilla (and not in a good way)
playing as the final form in on itself isnt a bad idea, does sound quite fun, personally tho i did not enjoy the very ending on the game
i dunno it just felt weird and all the other characters randomly appearing and the lost ones attacking being so awkward and ink demon acting as if they could kill you... nah man i wasn’t feeling it
okay so lets get this straight
cycle = a series of events that repeat
breaking the cycle would mean doing something different and stopping the cycle from continuing (so what... wilson was doing actually)
saying that making it restart again is what breaking it means is just??? no?
“satisfying face reveal” welp. each to their own XD
i see their purpose theme and thats neat and all but man do i hate how henry in this game is just. there and how some stranger is the person helping him get out of his horrible fate like its sooooooo unsatisfying
yeah she got more personality ill give her that
but she’s not a beacon of hope. she’s a beacon of tearing away the satisfaction of defeating a villain that we as the player worked hard towards
and uh... isn’t getting thrown into a horrible dimension full of monsters that audrey isn’t familiar with and is supposed to be freaked out about a bad moment to introduce a familiar face? like from a writing perspective, because it happens nearly instantly as chapter one starts
shouldn’t audrey be unmotivated then and struggling to figure out the world on her own? the player should also be haunted at this world, like it’s a horror game bestie ! don’t make me comfortable
well glad to hear the confirmation on that batds is happening in pararel to batdr
but his involvement in the main story is honestly such a nothing burger
is he there just so you can put batdr on the “can you pet the dog” site?
oh ok so what you’re basically putting down here is that he’s a boring perfect extremely rich guy, wasn’t even a bad father, completely stripping wilson’s arc of depth, cool, was afraid there would be something of substance powering the backbone of the plot of this game
and saying that both joey and wilson are worse people because theyre cringefail at business XDDDDDDDDDDD
ok here is something that im glad they addressed because ive been wondering about it - how audrey forgot that joey was her dad and how did she end up working at arch gate then
i suppose it implies that there’s something we might still learn/theorize about it, like for example if it was the machine drawing her in or gent wanting to get the machine back and manipulating things into place from behind the scenes
i really wonder how you can enter in and out the ink realm unnaturally but good to mention why he looks like that if he’s supposed to be nathan’s son
you cant just say that a character was important to the story, its not gonna happen from words
how is she important exactly? she just talks and uh.. helps audrey make the drink that makes you fall asleep? man that section of the game was Weird
i do want to like her, she seems nice and there could be interesting things to her backstory but as for the plot she really didn’t do much, sorry, betty
if you wanna say that pushing the plot forward by giving audrey that drink and then alice appearing outta nowhere and kidnapping here is a good big contribution then idk what to tell you... its such a bad way to make the plot progress, it was so confusing because characters were behaving as in forced to do Things to Progress the Plot (especially Audrey drinking that thing at all like seriously girl?? and Alice appearing comically at the last sip like wooooooow are you for real)
ah. so they were attempting a redemption arc
[saying this he didn’t threw aside the large rock. he was right to be holding the large rock]
this sucks man! what did joey help correct exactly? created more ink people to suffer eternally? wow, dude, thanks
also lmao what learned from his mistakes, did you HEAR his dialogue at the end of batim?? (an audrey can be heard right after that scene as well so isnt his whole change of heart supposed to be happening around here + allison has already been added to the squad)
it’s just... it’s just such bullshit man
you can make us like joey as a character but don’t you fucking dare make us like him as a person
bad. just bad
(aaaaaand this is the part that made me realize i wish the archives just. weren’t added! wow! i’m even surprised with myself with how much I Don’t Like them)
WHAT flaws??? hello??? please give it a big thinking and tell me what flaws does Audrey have im shaking and crying
also is her “deep dark past” supposed to just be like bEINg JoEY DRewS DAUghtER OOOoooOOo? lmao. wow so dark wow so deep
i dont know why this story needed a fresh pair of eyes because the story is that audrey is joeys daughter and that wilson is nathan archs son and that bendy is bendy. wow so deep so dark and complicated!!!!!!!11!!111
also whats the point of fresh eyes if you welcome us with familiar faces?
also sorry to break this to you but its not hard to stand out from the kinda cast that is presented to us in this game. sorry i cant decide if i care more about audrey or random employee number 24 with a random problem that i have 0 reason or time to get attached to. i seriously cant decide
suuuure we were so muddled xD oh you got us so good you sneaky little cheeky little quirky little
cant fucking believe we almost had a proper nathan arch jr and a secret one eyed villain that there was so much hype about and theories that they obviously tried to deliever here
its speculative but. knowing that they take inspiration from fan theories - they admitted to it and ex employees said so, i think we would have to be in some serious denial to think that @lucky-dreamfisher‘s one-eyed bendy theory wasn’t meant to be represented here with wilson’s character
ALSO THIS NARRATIVE. THIS NARRATIVE HAS ZERO- NO, NEGATIVE AMOUNT OF COMPLEXITY
GOD
this story makes so much LESS sense based on what you said! aaaaaaaa we were so close to greatness
what is so wrong with not resetting the cycle then?
not that im a fan of how wilson was approaching things, he very clearly wanted to make himself the ruler of this realm and have power over everyone but sounds like that sure beats living under ink demons reign?
but also idk if this is entirely true like in batim chapter 5 we can see that lost ones were capable of making that lost harbour and sammy is later mentioned to have mastered a special ability too so??
i wish we learned more about the pit because it sounds quite interesting and we were working hard towards getting there and finally didnt get to see it at all (a shame! very unrewarding to the player)
im not gonna comment on reverting here cuz its a serious mental thing im not knowledgable about
i haaaate this
you... this is not how exposition is done!
show don’t tell?? how about SHOW don’t TELL??
what in the goddamn. you can’t just pull that outta your ass and say yep. this is how it is. bro. dude.
im referring here to the ink machine bit, the previous sentences can actually be seen in the story
but the design does not reflect what is written here
and they are doing so much of that in these archives, this telling of the story in a place that is not meant for telling of the story, you do that IN the STORY. rarghrgrh
surprise i found another nice thing: confirmation on that alice was the one who mutilated the butcher gang, cuz i dont think that was ever confirmed before but at least you can find implications of that in the game so its fine to outright confirm that here, good job about that
i dont know what theyre on about carley, she doesnt really look like that to me and ive looked at her model in the archives, in the files and at peoples renders of her and i just dont see it
but i guess it might mean it was like a suit that someone got stuck in- FNAF?!>!!>!?
no way. no fucking way
we got robbed what ToT
he was removed in favour of WHAT???? AMOK????
dude there ill be real. there’s barely anything that is worth keeping there instead of having him play a bigger role
and im not even that big on sammys character! hes one of my least liked characters personally even! but at least there is something more to him and just man after 5 years you could have given him more than just a dumb wilhelm scream joke, that almost feels like a spat in the face lmao
thanks for again confirming something though with that flow thing, as we noticed sammy uses gaps in the wall in batim chapter 2 to travel around the place
why not have him teach audrey the flow ability? imagine how could that would have been
im just baffled this exist but sammy apparently had to be cut out
lol
lmao
moving on
my brother in christ why are you making it a mystery if she will appear, she literally appeared in every game so far with quite major roles
also... what layers? sure in batim with her story (susie’s story) there sure been some layers, susie’s story in batim is probably aside from joey’s story the deepest character arc they got
but alice in batdr? she’s there to play a stupid game she set herself up to lose, get mad at that (eh?) shoot you and die
what layers, really
gender
but also idk i found the fight annoying and random, you could throw it out and not much of value would be lost, put sammy back in
YOU MADE HIM NOTHING
YOU TOOK A PERFECTLY FINE ENEMY AND GAVE IT ANXIETY THATS WHAT YOU DID /j /ref
idk if id describe the ink demon as putting the player on edge because he doesnt actually roam the place
you see a grey overlay on your screen and you need to hide or you die... which gets tiring fast and annoying
you totally could still have lurker (even if just restricted to some areas) as a free roaming monster
and the unlikely ally thing is just so bland like yeah he’s there, we know nothing about him aside from that he eats hearts, incredibly charming fella
not thrilled by his design either but that issue i already had with the first trailer but i guess they just sticked with that
bendy devs not use mental illnesses as derogatory terms challenge
i like the crab boy design, he’s sillay
bro forgot a texture tho
so yeah not. happy with the archives
sorry if im like overly negative but ive honestly tried to give this sequel (because despite what they were saying it IS undoubtedly a sequel) my best assumptions and it turns out its nearly all the worst assumptions
its annoying, im annoyed
they should hire a writer to help them get this mess together, maybe get adrienne in on it, i dunno, because clearly if they need to be specific and not leaving things open like in batim, then they arent managing very well
they even fucking killed harold
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putata or mekeke for the ask meme
YESSSS i think ill be nice and do both.
putata:
Sexuality Headcanon: gonna act like i did with tamama CUZ HES GAYYYYY DUHHHH. like everyone in the world knows this and i knew it the first time i saw him. gonna go a bit off the rails here but hes the guy that got me watching the shurara corps arc, cuz i saw him in that big ending image w every keronian in it and i was like HOOOOLY SHIT.
Gender Headcanon: he is VERY MUCH A TRANSMAN n also i think he would loooove neopronouns n xenogenders. like hes just that kind of guy
A ship I have with said character: just like every person in the world i just luuuuv putameke..... theyre little freaks made for eachother, crafty guys who work in different mediums but still appreciate eachothers mediums, an excellent combo for frogs for when you want to steal the keron star etc etc. very compatible. they should not be seperated
A BROTP I have with said character: putata n kagege bestieism is sooooo faunny to me sorry. awkward guy devoid of any color and the most colorful energetic guy in the show(PROBABLY)
A NOTP I have with said character: ummm i cant think of anything that isnt like. straight up problematic cause i cannot be a hater really. i guess ill feel a bit iffy if someone pairs him with a girl but ive never actually seen it so like.like.
A random headcanon: im having a bit of trouble pinpointing just one honestly. cuz i think of the corps a lot in general....
well i think hes very caring over his nyororo, in my au it doesnt actually die (listen. i get a bit upset whenever a nyororo gets killed off in the anime thats just a funny beast.) but it does get really sick and it makes him flip his shit a bit ALRIGHT! like i def think its a pet hes had since childhood, his familys like dirty rich so they got him a nice one. saying that i def dont think hes getting much money from them anymore, like he has seperated himself from them pretty hard. also he knew mekeke since they were like, early teens? wow this is all over the place
General Opinion over said character: did you know that putata is also a species of bug(jodis putata) anyways hes GREAT. got me into this whole shurara corps thing. i had such strong brainrot over him when i was like 13-14 and im not exactly proud of it, still love him tho
mekeke:
Sexuality Headcanon: hes BIIIII. bisexual. hell ya baby!
Gender Headcanon: i think mekekes another character that falls under "not cis, not trans but some secret third thing" for me, i think i labelled him a demiboy a while ago though. well he is a boything for sure
A ship I have with said character: i will just repeat putameke..... literally 2 guys made for eachother wowwww its so wild I CANT BELIEVE IT. but also kagemeke is funny. cuz they both use puppetry haha fun but i dont think abt them too much
A BROTP I have with said character: ill just parrot the kagege thing again, though i also think him and dokuku would click together a bit :3
A NOTP I have with said character: I COULD NEVER BE A HATER!!!! never ever
A random headcanon: like w putata my minds a bit over the place.... imma be honest every time i get asked for a random headcanon my mind just goes blank like i forgot everything ive ever thought of in my life
one of my oldest headcanons ever is def gecko-handed mekeke, cause he has to stick to ceilings somehow if he wants to control his puppet from above. sorry i dont like making guys float for no reason.... i think hes def a bit quirky design wise in my au, has some brown markings that he just got as he grew up (thing that happens with keronians sometimes in general tee bee eh) and i call him oxidized because of that. also he has four arms for some reason. i dont really know what his deal is. its not even just his design he wasnt raised by keronians and might act a bit silly cause of it.
General Opinion over said character: bit of an autism beast
#i always sound so funny when describing characters i domt have gender labels for like. yeah hes just some guy!#a guy thing#keroroposting
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gen 9 complaints. sorry i know im annoying but im going insane rn im sorry
usually im one of the ppl that defend the new pokemon designs. i love all gen 5 pokemon, gen 6, gen 7 and 8. aside from a few im not crazy about here and there i wasnt super into the gen 8 starter evos. but still i appreciate the thought that goes into the designs even if they arent to my taste. the ppl in the fandom who constantly complain about designs have always been the ones who annoyed me the most because a lot of the time they are much more thought out and nice looking than ppl give them credit for. but this time... i have become the annoying hater😔 usually there are only a hand full of pokemon per generation i just feel eh about. this time there are only a handful i like and the majority i feel eh about. and i think for the first time ever i straight up hate how some look i feel like im starting a villain arc this shit sucks bro :(
this time around there is something so utterly lacking in the pokemon designs and ALSO in some of the human characters as well (like hassell for example) . the rush job that was this game's development shows not only in its god awful performance, but also in the artist's department now as well? there are so many pokemon that have great concepts but the execution is just terrible. in concept i love the quaxly evo line but it looks so bad 😭. it is very clear that the artists did not have the time to properly flesh these concepts out. idk if they hired a new inexperienced designer or two or what but i think throwing in a lawn decoration flamingo and calling it a pokemon is a bit unforgivable no? 💀
the pace of modern pokemon is to blame undoubtedly. for the love of god i hope they slow down i dont want a yearly game release if they continue to be like this :(
I DO HAVE ONE POSITIVE THING TO SAY ABOUT DESIGNS THO. all of the paradox pokemon look great i have no complaints there. and KATY IS SUCH A CUTIE AND SO IS IONO. this game still has waifus thank god pokegays arent starving completely. thank u sorry thats all
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I think part of the reason why I hate horror movies is because of the overreliance on jumpscares and shock value and BWAH SUDDEN LOUD NOISES rather than on atmosphere, believability, tension, fear.
here's a list of horror movies from google and the reasons why I hate them, or why I love them, or that they're not actually horror movies.
A quiet place: haven't seen it yet but it's a thriller more so than a horror. thrillers can be scary though but then again so can comedies. and romances. 50 shades is definitely scary: it is psychological abuse after all.
Halloween: slasher film, automatically boring and shit. I'm including the entirety of the franchise here, by the way, and I'm also gonna be including Friday the 13th, nightmare on elm street, etc. They're all the same brand of sensationalist garbage. maybe the very first in each series could be redeemable but the mass volume of shitty and terrible CGI gorefests have ruined them forever. "oh no the scary unkillable monster is coming after us and he's gonna kill us in overly violent ways" 💩
Hereditary: I don't even give a shit it looks trite EDIT maybe it's okay but I don't give enough of a shit to bother to ~give it a chance~ because hey. that's what fucking horror games are for.
Insidious: boring, not scary, 0/10
Get Out: haven't watched yet but will because it's a cinematic masterpiece that defies genre conventions
Bird Box: IM SO FUCKING SICK OF HEARING ABOUT FUCKING BIRD BOX SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT BIRD BOX HOLY SHIT. It's just the goddamn happening by shyamagofuckyourself and it's an excuse to profit off of sensationalist suicide. oohh so spooky. eat my ass, boggart
It: too much bad cgi makes it a comedy. plus a bunch of kids say fuck a lot. good movie that's technically horror I guess but is it scary? nah.
Suspiria: I've never heard of this movie
Annihilation: same
Split: M NIGHT SHYAMALAN IS A SHITTY FILMMAKER and also it's ableist as fuck so
Mandy: google you suck none of these movies have any mainstream appeal
The Conjuring: 💩💩💩
Hush: ??? you know what fuck it I'm skipping the ones that don't matter
The Vvitch: 🙄 my mom's a witch, my best friend's a witch, I'm a witch. hey yeah maybe let's not buy into christian colonialism please? scary witches are boring as shit. gimme something actually scary. like Catholics.
The Nun: wait shit not like that! and by that I mean BORING AS HELL aside from the jumpscares. which are shit
The Babadook: clearly an LGBT movie, not horror
Cabin in the Woods: a parody and an excellent one at that. at least the gore is in homage, or hilariously over the top
Sinister: the fucking epitome of shitty jumpscares and shock value and lack of atmosphere and bad acting and bad plot and jesus fucking christ this is one of the worst and most boring movies I've ever had the misfortune to see DONT WASTE YOUR GODDAMN TIME
Saw: it's actually a thriller with Cary Elwes, Danny Glover, Michael Emerson, and Tobin Bell. it's a campy cheesy low budget true to form horror film with adequate writing, good acting, AMAZING MUSIC BY CHARLIE CLOSER, and isn't over the top with gore considering it's all practical effects. top fucking notch but spawned a dozen terrible sequels.
Shaun of the Dead: it's a touching and heartfelt romantic comedy... with zombies, EXCELLENT CINEMATOGRAPHY, excellent acting, and sad parts that will rip your fucking heart out, stomp on it, and grind it to dust. literally one of the best movies ever made of all time, eat shit tarantino.
The Ring: eh, the original Japanese was better (Japanese horror is its own genre and not a part of this criticism, I actually really like original Japanese horror unfucked up by american audiences as long as it doesn't just gratuitously glorify suicide as Japan does), but this was still a really good mystery thriller with some really cool effects, and is the only movie that has ever actually scared me for real. even now I hate that there's a tv with a vcr right at the foot of my bed.
The Sixth Sense: shyamalan made a couple of good movies. this was one of them. but it wasn't a horror movie and if you didn't know the twist IT WAS A FUCKING AMAZING ONE. like, goddamn empire strikes back levels of supreme and god tier plot twists. it went a little overboard on shock value but compared to the rest of the COMPLETE BULLSHIT on this list (AND IN HIS OWN MOVIES) it really could've gone way further.
The Descent: goddamn claustrophobia. too much horribly cgi'd gore and terrible decisions to be truly enjoyable though. would've been a much better movie without the mutants and the middle finger to physics throat stabbing and the JUST FUCKING KICK IT YOU GODDAMN IDIOT and oh yeah the subtle misogyny. the first half was good tho
28 days later: shitty remake of a merely ok movie EDIT I was thinking of 28 weeks later, 28 days was actually okay I guess
Scream: did not age well but it's okay for being meta, despite the fucking torture porn of drew barrymore at the beginning. allowed for scary movie 1 though, so I'm glad it exists.
Paranormal Activity: PARANORMAL FUCKING ACTIVITY CAN EAT MY ASS, ITS SUCH A SUBLIME FAILURE OF EXECUTION. I WANTED IT TO BE GOOD BUT IT WASNT. oh well at least it inspired five nights at Freddy's. I'll go ahead and throw all shitty found footage movies under this one, including unfriended.
Blair Witch Project: a fucking pioneer of its time. a genre definer. truly scary. good movie. I'll go ahead and throw all good found footage movies under this one, including cloverfield.
The Shining: a thriller, not horror. but goddamn is it the scariest not horror movie ever made. Stephen king you magnificent bastard
Alien: goddamn fucking alien. science fiction masterpiece. director's a little creepy but eh, sigourney weaver kicks ass, and alien isolation is such a good game (despite its many flaws), and it's just so iconic in terms of sheer scope of concept. it's the same horror movie as anywhere else but in space, and I still can't fucking believe this was made in the 70s. this and Star Wars were FUCKING AMAZING, and the xenomorph? THATS ALL PRACTICAL EFFECTS BABEY. NO OVERRELIANCE ON CGI GUTS AND SHOCK VALUE HERE, ITS JUST PURE HORROR AT ITS FINEST. good movie. aliens was better. everything else... eeehhh...
The Thing: same as the descent but with men instead of women, and EVEN WORSE DECISION MAKING. IT IS UNBELIEVABLE JUST HOW GODDAMN STUPID EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM COULD POSSIBLY BE. and in the remake yeah the practical effects were mind blowingly fantastic and inspired dead space which I believe is one of the best horror games if not just best games or horror pieces of media if not just best pieces of media constructed. but the prequel? 🙄 no thanks
The exorcist: masterpiece of practical effects without an overreliance on jumpscares and gore
Jaws: it's Stephen fucking Spielberg in the 70s and one of the most influential horror films and just films in general
Hellraiser: okay I'll give all works by clive barker a pass here because goddamn is he a demented fucking genius if ever I saw one. if only Jericho was actually a good game, it could've been the next doom 3
Poltergeist: an actually good horror movie that depends on atmosphere and effects more so than jumpscares and gore? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP
Evil Dead: campy but misogynist. the sequel was a comedy so it's okay. the next sequel is also a comedy AND ARMY OF DARKNESS IS ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES EVER FUCKING MADE. FIGHT ME. and fuck the remake. sam raimi should've retired after spiderman 3. maybe even before that.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: honestly not bad. it was actually freaky and believable. rednecks really are fucking scary with all their inbreeding and terrible music and hatred of black people. I refuse to acknowledge the original and the sequels.
Psycho: eh, hitchcock's worst is still better than most of the shit on this list.
The Wicker Man: OH GOD NOT THE BEES! AHHGUBLAHH MY EYES! AAAAAHHHHH!!! fucking excellent comedy. but it doesn't have any naked ladies in it like the original did. oh well, can't please everyone.
Night of the Living Dead: THOSE ZOMBIES ARE BULLSHIT. ZOMBIES CANT USE WEAPONS AND THEY SURE AS FUCK CANT TURN YOU INTO A ZOMBIE BY STABBING YOU WITH A TROWEL. THEY HAVE TO BITE YOU. FUCK YOU GEORGE ROMERO. Also, dawn of the dead was just sensationalist garbage. "They tore apart a real pig carcass tho so it looked like real intestines" what? the fuck??? who gives a shit????? I watch movies to escape from reality, dumbass. I don't beat off to chopped up human carcasses. If I want a zombie movie I want the walking dead sans the soap opera bullshit and the racism and then "no one is safe and everyone will die" boring mentality propagated by twd and got and other things I used to like but no longer care about (because why should I give a shit about it if everyone could die? I can already be sad enough about all the real people I know who die. enjoying the pain of the deaths of those important to us is a privilege the cishets have). the walking dead seasons 1&2 was pure horror and the very best kind. don't give me boring contrivances. "but sheena, night of the living dead was a trope definer! everything in it was original!" yeah, you know what else is original? *farting noise* George Romero is just rob zombie without a rock band. his best work was fucking call of duty. that's pathetic. "maybe you just don't like gore" HEY YEAH SURE I DONT WANNA SEE UBER REALISTIC INTESTINES AND ORGANS IF THEY ARENT PART OF A MEDICAL DEAL SO IM JUST A BIG DUMB HATER. I'm the one in the wrong. fuck me, right?
Don't Breathe: A FUCKING TURKEY BASTER FILLED WITH SEMEN. THATS SO STUPID I FORGOT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SCARY. BEST CRINGE COMEDY OF THE YEAR :D
Tremors: legitimately great movie with a hundred shitty sequels. like saw but your faves win so you walk away filled with determination rather than sad and disappointed. enjoyment of tragedies are a privilege awarded to those who are neurotypical.
Zombieland: gore done right. the only casualty is mindless zomzoms and bill murray. good. granted it counts as a romance and a comedy but honestly last time I watched it I cried at the part where you find out buck isn't tallahassee's dog. god I love that movie. AND FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS IS THE MOST BADASS MOVIE OPENER EVER.
The Fly: Jeff fucking goldblum. amazing effects for good reasons. need I say more? the original doesn't exist because 1950s horror movies are all bad because all 1950s movies are bad. the 1950s should just be purged from america's records except for pleasantville.
All other Stephen king movies: hit or miss but mostly still good. although very few are actual horror.
10 cloverfield lane: more of a thriller like above's misery but still an amazing movie.
Peeping Tom: literally a movie about how creepy it is to fetishize the deaths of women WHILE LITERALLY FETISHIZING THE DEATHS OF WOMEN. like, come on man. how do you miss your own point so completely?
Invasion of the body snatchers: it's not horror and if it's made to be horror using gore it's shit. the whole thing is just an allegory to the joe mccarthy communism witch hunts anyway.
Cube trilogy: the ultimate b movies. so bad they're good. and it's such an interesting concept too!
Killer Klowns from Outer Space: fucking alien clowns come to earth to turn us into cotton candy by killing us using carnival fare. THIS IS THE GREATEST BAD MOVIE EVER MADE.
All horror movies based on horror video games: either irredeemably bad, or action movies
All creepy Netflix horror movies: wow any idiot with a camera and basic cgi skills can throw shit together to make a movie these days, huh
The Slender Man: I am literally too pissed off about this movie to insult it.
Marble Hornets, Tribe Twelve, the Slender Man movie on YouTube: triumphs of meta, editing, found footage, proof of concept, and story. Slenderman is such a malleable entity for a perfect horror experience, HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY FUCK THAT UP? YOUD HAVE TO BE INTENTIONALLY SABOTAGING YOUR WHOLE MOVIE TO FUCK IT UP AS BAD AS SOMEone who exclusively directs remakes... oh... oh no.
Wrong Turn: one mediocre movie and a dozen loathesome snoozefests coasting by on shock value
Troll 2:
oh god
they're eating her
and then
they're gonna eat me
...
oh my gooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
(Troll 2 is literally the worst movie ever made and I have to respect it for that at least)
but yeah, horror is just bad for movies. but for video games, though...
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☕️ The extremely boring HTTYD fanfiction cliches of Hiccup Runs Away, Modern Berk, Snotlout Does Something To Hiccstrid And Suffers, We All Hate Snotlout Because He Was So Mean To Hiccup, Hiccup Suddenly Has A Sister, etc.
firstly thanks so much for sending in !!!!!! i’ve been hanging out for opinions to respond to. secondly lmao i don’t know what fan fic u think i read but it’s only tiny rare pair ships lmao so ??? half of these i’m like ????????? ??
re: hiccup runs away - eh, makes sense for the canon; an interesting concept ppl want to explore. haven’t read any but i can see why ppl are interested in the general idea.
re: modern berk - lmao i will defend ppl’s right to write as much modern au as they fucking want. this fandom has a hard-on for complaining abt modern au and it’s like ??? mostly ppl who don’t even write like shut up. lshfkfkf there’s some REALLY aggressive rude commentary about modern au out there, with a really self absorbed, petulant tone and basically my response to this kind of entitlement (“how dare you write modern au, i a non-writer don’t want that.”) is lmao write as much modern au as you want. lmao ppl wanna see their favs in situations that directly affect/happened to them, let them goddamn write the twins with a vine or snotlout on instagram.
re: snotlout does something… - lmao as if I’d ever read a hiccstrid fic. but the concept is super bad bye 👋 yuck 🤢 sounds like wank
re: we all hate snotlout… - sounds super boring. i don’t associate with snotlout haters, didn’t know there were any, sounds like stuff written by like 12 yr olds tbh.
re: hiccup suddenly has a sister - never heard of this? unless it’s half siblings hiccup and astrid then hoo boy ✔️✔️👍🏾👌🏾👌🏾👍🏾💯✔️✔️👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾that’s some good Shit. if it’s not ??? whatever tbh. sounds kinda like a self insert Mary Sue kinda concept. 12 yr olds? hmm? eh let them have their fun. I’m not interested personally. oh shit tho,,, u know that part of rtte when hiccup thought heather was his sister for like half a day? shit i would have been up for that ??????? ??? that was ACTUALLY a twist. im good with berserker siblings tho so it’s fine she’s not.
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11 facts about me
i was tagged by @1of1prism to post 11 facts abt me!!! thank you <3
(sophie i literally copy and paste ur old posts into my new posts so I’m probably gonna copy some of ur facts whoops)
1. hi my name is marina ((but that’s in my basic blog description so i’m gonna pull a sophie and give u 2 facts in one thing even though it’s CHEATING)) and I am...... a millennial sjw ...............smh millenials..............,,,,,,,,,,,,
2. I’m at uni and i study social justice stuff and also geography (migration...immigration.....urban planning....) and I’m pretty good at writing essays but i procrastinate like nobody’s business lol (yikes!!!) and i like to read (which i guess is good cause i probably have 200 pages a week!! not including when i have to read (a) whole book(s) ie english!)
3. I’m not like a masterchef but I can do a recipe i’ve never done before and generally have it turn out pretty good which is apparently impressive to some? i like baking with friends as a fun thing to do but I’m also really controlling in the kitchen so it’s probably not that fun after all LOL
4. I’m allergic to almost everything lol. including:
dogs, cats, any furry animal that exists
birds and feathers
dust, mould, etc
trees and grass,
some random medicine i dont know the name of (i didnt know this until like last year cause i went to emerg but ya thats a thing it apparently gives me a rash)
5. i’m an anxious bean but like under really like......inconsistent (?) circumstances? or more like uh....non-.......whats the word like when it doesn’t match what your brain thinks something it would be (WHATEVER) anyway like yesterday I almost cried cause i didn’t understand a card game but one time when i was a kid my little bro had a seizure and my parents had to rush him to the hospital and we had to call my grandma to come over, and like my sister was all !!!!!!??? boo hoo hoo and i was all like “gimme the phone i’ll do it”. like sometimes i keep a very cool head in situations you wouldn’t think i would and sometimes im a mess in a situation u’d think i wouldn’t be u know what i’m trying to say
6. I really like music but i’m not like that Musical Person friend. Like I listen to a lot of music of a bunch of different genres and time periods and in elementary/high school I played the trumpet (i also did piano and euphonium but like if u gave me one of those now I wouldn’t be able to do much with it whereas if u gave me a trumpet.....man). I really like acoustic songs, and songs with violins and saxophones in it, HARMONIES, songs where people’s voices go really “raw” sounding, songs where people’s voices have that like “radio voice” filter, songs that start off kinda soft and then BUILD!!!!!, and songs that have a bunch of different parts all doing their own thing but then they all come together for this multilayered goodness!!!!!. If anyone other than John or Sophie is reading this (bless your soul if so) and if u have song recs for me, like, lay them on me i always need new music
7. I don’t get a lot of mainstream references but I have a weird um...pool of reference material that I can pull from?? like i’m not like That Guy who’s like rly obnoxious always talking abt those obscure movies but my parents are both like from drama stuff and like movies/shows and are also huge nerds so i’ve seen like a wide array of genre-d stuff. plus i took a film course so i’m basically an expert. did you know that plot and story are two different things? Story is whe---
8. My family’s kinda complicated. (wow i sound like an emo blog in 2006 but i just didnt want to start another long rambley sentence so here we are) My mom’s side is italian and my dad’s side is british so my italian relatives weren’t too happy abt that (i just learned this the other day but apparently at their wedding my moms uncle [who’s a dick] was saying something inappropriate to my dad, who was like “uhhhh...” and then her other uncle was like ‘ay! tony! leave the asshole alone!’ LOL) and then the british side is full of drama and alcoholics lol. and then the communication in my like... regular fam is a bit bad lol ((also i have like......30+ cousins, (20ish regular and a shit ton distant but less that i actually know) and yet we keep in contact with each other so what a weird ironic twist that is eh))
9. I can like kind of swim but I also like can’t swim cause I don’t float even though everyones like “ya u do!! people float” i just sink down lol. tho i’m kind of practicing a bit every summer at my friend’s house. i also like to pretend that it’s because of childhood trauma cause i had swimming lessons on two (2) different occasions and they were both awful
when i was like 6 , and i refused to put my face in the water so my instructor was like “Right!” and shoved my head under lol!
when i was like 10 and i was embarrassed enough being like an older kid learning like... level 1 swimming right before these like 5 year olds who were doing the same thing (also in retrospect my instructors were only like 16 im pretty sure, like they seemed rly old to 10 year old me but they were really young lol) and the same thing happened as the other one except with diving lol. like i didn’t want to jump off the deep end and sometimes i would do it myself but at least once this girl pushed me in (basically every time either way they had to pull me up from the bottom which was kinda useless like if ur gonna teach me to dive whats the point if u dont teach me to come up from a dive right?? right)
10. I’m kinda quiet and shy but when I have the chance and am comfortable i go on HUGE rants and also go off on like 12 different tangents while trying to tell a story. like you could probably figure out this about me by reading this post but i just wanna let you know this isn’t a one-off thing just because it’s a Fact Post like i do this in real life and the way i talk is probably just as broken up and confusing as how i type!!! ahhaah
11. I used to be a hater but now I’m like actively trying to not be a hater cause hating on stuff for no reason is boring and liking stuff is fun (tho it’s harder in person cause i’m really sarcastic and pessimistic and i literally can’t stop complaining about things). Some things I stopped hating on recently:
Aesthetic things that are like “basic”/”simple” (i have an aesthetic blog now! who knew!) like pictures of like......curtains?? i used to be like “wow thats dumb” but man textures and also the weird mood that’s connected with your aesthetic it’s so calming
K-pop LOL :)
Honestly?? memes.
Boys apparently??? I dunno how true that is but @1of1prism knows me better than I know myself most of the time (but i still dont give 2 shits abt boys)
fanning over stuff in general tbh like.... enjoy things
people in a judgemental sense (im working on it....)
Intrigued by this post? Interested in my life? Check out my /tagged/about! Follow me on tumblr for more quality content!
(Jesus i’m done this legitimately took an hour)
i tag @purewhiteflames as well and i also tag @nuliflyer just to ruin ur “i’ve only been tagged once” so ha ha
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