#this will forever be both the funniest and sweetest thing
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The Sounds Of A Black Dahlia- Prologue
Summary:
8 years after marrying into a rich but cruel and messed-up family, Michonne, a loving mother and dutiful wife, finds herself in the middle of a brewing storm that may take everything she cares for, all while an unexpected member of the family returns, wanting to cause even more chaos and uproot her already troublesome life. AU Richonne centred. The first chapter is the prologue.
Today was the day—the day that her life would undoubtedly change forever. She ground her teeth in anxious worry, rocking back and forth or side to side as her fingers sought out anything she could hold onto. She looked regal as he stared at herself in the mirror, heart stumbling over its own rhythm. She couldn’t take it anymore. She got up, deciding it was best to work off her anxiety by pacing the room.
Girl, relax! Your heart is beating so fast, it’ll burst!
“Michonne! Calm down! You're getting yourself all worked up over nothing.”
“Me getting married is nothing, Sasha?”
“You told me months ago you loved this man. Your families may have pushed for this, but you told me it was okay because you fell in love with him. So why so nervous.”
“I just turned twenty… What the hell do I know about being a wife? What if I’m not ready? What if I mess up? My brother always says I’m childish. What if he thinks that? He’s six years older than me, after all. What if he changes his mind?” Michonne covered her face as her mind ran a marathon and Maggie snatched them from her.
“Stop it! You’ll mess up your makeup! I am not gonna let my best friend get married looking a damn hot mess! Get your shit together! As Sasha said, you said you loved him; this is something both your families want. It’s good you got feelings for him because you’d still have to marry him if your folks get their way. And could you, being a hopeless romantic, imagine a loveless marriage? You get to marry your first love; your first time will be with your husband; damn, he was your first kiss! He is also from one of the wealthiest families in the country and the world. You are living a fairy tale and you deserve it because you are the sweetest person I know!”
“I what if he’s having second thoughts? I’d be so embarrassed!” Sasha rolled her eyes, and going to her side.
“You told us he is the kindest, amazing, sweetest, funniest, protective, charming, understanding, most patient guy you had ever met. That’s not me exaggerating!” The three giggled as they tried to contain their emotions. “Those are your words. Honestly, Maggie and I were worried. You don’t have any experience, and it was clear your family was pushing this, but to hear how you spoke about him, it gave me relief.”
“It gave us relief.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Really! Do you wanna marry him? Believe it or not, he is not who matters here. Chonnie, you are so young and you may love him, but that’s not all it takes. You gotta be sure about these things.”
“Maggie!”
“Let her answer. Let her think about it. This is a goddamn life-changing decision, and she’s never even had sex. His dick could be small for all we know and she just goes in. We gotta know that she loves him regardless. That this, is what she wants, not her parents’ eagerness confusing her. I don’t want her to make a mistake either way.”
“Okay! Okay, I see your point—”
“I love him. I want to marry him… I do!”
“Are you sure? Think about it!”
“I’m sure, Maggie.”
“Well, you heard our girl!”
“I’m getting married!” Their mouths pulled into a silent O, increasingly as they processed the news. They soon began screaming in excitement.
The three of them held hands. Now that her friends had calmed her down, she smiled so widely, her eyes nearly pinched shut. At the same time, a knock came, and her brother Michael peeked his head in the door.
“You know, Mike, when one knocks, they usually wait for a response.” Michonne threw daggers at him and he rolled his eyes, letting himself in.
“Shut up. I see you guys worked your magic, She actually looks like a person—an adult, even. She ready?”
“She just needs her veil, but emotionally, she’s ready.” Sasha tucked it in Michonne’s hair, letting it fall over her face and she eyed Mike up and down.
“Alright, you guys, go let the others know so we can get this show on the road. My dad will come for her at the walkway.”
“Okay!” The two sent kisses and left.
“You look beautiful.” His eyes softened as he held her cheek. “Are you sure you're ready? I’ll talk to Mom and Dad. You don’t—”
“I’m ready. I promise.”
“Okay, I’m heading back. Meet us at the walkway in ten minutes.”
Michonne approached the mirror, lifted her veil, and observed herself. Her hands were balled into fists, covering her smile, big eyes gleaming over her knuckles. Her heart was still beating, but she was content as she admired her long-sleeved, ivory-stone, lace, round-neck wedding gown. Though modest, displaying no cleavage and merely her neckline, and rather traditional, it was a stunning gown. She realised why her mother chose it. They couldn't allow the media any room for criticism since they married into a white, rich family. She had to be flawless. She considered spinning around to check behind her, but decided against it since her long veil might tangle. It was time for her to leave. She shouldn’t dilly-dally any longer. She hiked up her dress and walked out the door, only to be graced by an unexpected soul leaning on the wall in a brown suit, puffing on a cigarette.
What is he doing here?
“Rick?” Surprised, she couldn’t help calling out his name. He cast his gaze in her direction, allowing their eyes to meet.
“Oh… Hey. Everyone’s waiting for you. Your bridesmaids are already in position.”
“I know; thank you for the information.”
She always wanted to say as little to him as possible. He always made her uncomfortable, like she was an outsider he would never see as anything else. So polite, it came off cold. His eyes were never still, and he only glimpsed at her in passing. Today, however, he seemed more laid back.
I didn’t even know he smoked.
“Congrats, by the way.”
“For what?
“I heard your girlfriend Lori had a baby boy.” He smiled, clearly thinking about his newborn.
“Yeah… His name is Carl.”
“Given that I’ll be his new aunt, I’ll have to get him a good gift.”
She let out an innocent smile in his direction. Rick’s eyes narrow, studying her from head to toe, causing her scepticism to be reflected by a single lifted brow. He chuckled at her reaction. Keeping his blue eyes on her, he put out his cigarette, outing it on the wall, walking right up to her and invading her space.
“Why are you doing this?”
“What?” Her brows formed a deep, perplexed wrinkle as she examined his face for answers she couldn’t find.
“You don’t have to do this, you know? Are you so afraid of Mommy and Daddy that you’d get married without so much of a peep?”
“I—”
“You ain’t one of us. You’re never gonna be one of us… It doesn’t matter who you marry or what last name you got; you don’t got our blood. You ain’t like us and you’re never gonna be like us. You can run right now. I’ll cover for you. It’ll be a little embarrassing for my brother, but he’ll thank both of us when things calm down… Trust me, this is for the best.” She blinked hurriedly, her pupils dilating as she struggled to make sense of the contradicting information.
“What is your problem with me?”
“I don’t have a problem with you; this is just advice.”
“Yes, you do! You treat me like I’m beneath you, like an afterthought.”
“Am I supposed to be friendly with you? We’re not friends; this marriage is all business too. You okay with rushing into a marriage that neither of you want?”
“What do you know! I am getting married, whether you like it or not. You don’t have the blood or the name either! Everybody knows that! So how can you stand there and insult me? I haven’t done anything to you. When I sign that marriage certificate, I’ll have the name since it’s so important to you! My children will have the blood too; that’s more than you. You are a Grimes. You aren’t one of them either…” His vast blue eyes widened in dismay before becoming dark and serious with acceptance.
“You’re right… I’m not.” His lips pulled down in a comical frown. “I—”
“Michonne!”
His expression caught her off guard. Nausea churned her stomach the more she looked at him and the more ashamed she felt. He was about to say something but the sharp voice of her father came from behind, stopping them in their tracks.
“Michonne, your late!”
“Sorry!”
Michonne hurriedly snatched up her dress with all its weight and dashed to her father’s side, who assisted with the train. She took a couple of steps forward and twisted her neck to catch a glimpse of Rick. He was leaning against the wall, a new cigarette in his lips, and looking aimlessly at the floor. She could not focus on him right now. She was set to get married. She pushed those strange thoughts to the back of her mind and concentrated on what lay ahead. Her father tucked her hand under his arm as they approached the chapel.
“Michonne.”
“Daddy?”
“You have to remember to do your wifely duties. You listen to your husband and honour his parents. Always remember your place. After today, you are a Walsh. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Daddy…” She understood exactly what he meant. From today on, she was not their concern and she shouldn’t make mistakes that would reflect badly on them, regardless of whether she lived well or not. Her typically bright visage had darkened and become withdrawn.
“Good.” He tapped her hand repeatedly in acceptance, and his lips curled into a sneer.
They finally entered, and seeing her soon-to-be husband, all those bad thoughts faded away. He gazed at her with a light smile on his face. She had a maid of honour, Sasha, who clarified that the position was hers and Maggie was her bridesmaid; she had no others, not even her sister. Shane’s party also had two people, including his brother Monty, who served as his best man. He originally hoped for Rick, but he rejected it for unknown reasons. It didn't matter; everything was marvellous. Going down the aisle brought everything into perspective for her. Even with Sasha and Maggie’s assistance, she could feel the train of her gown and veil trailing behind her. They made it after what felt like a long journey. Her father handed her away, and her fiancé placed her hand in his. The chaplain delivered his sermon, and she was in a daze until they exchanged vows and said, ‘I do’ to cap it all off. The couple signed their papers in front of the media.
“Alright, I need the married couple. Mr. and Mrs. Walsh, I need a picture of you cutting the cake, then we’ll go to the gardens.”
They followed the photographer’s wishes. They fed each other cake and Michonne grinned ear to ear the entire time. She didn’t know why she was so nervous in the first place. During it all, her newlywed husband was quiet during all of it, He was never much of a talker so she paid it no mind. He held her lower back and lifted her dress as he guided her to the garden. They took various photos. There was one particular one that stood out. She was standing next to him under a large, royal white-flowering redbud tree. Its sweet pea scent filled the air with a gentle, lovely fragrance. Michonne closed her eyes and inhaled the soothing scent that brushed across her nose. They were supposed to look ahead but it didn’t work out that way. Next to her husband, a baby duck had fallen behind, drawing his attention from the shoot and causing her to gaze at him. The photographer was going to delete it and try again but Michonne went to see it as she had done with all the others. His eyes looked sad, staring at the baby duck, which made her giggle. She was staring at him, basket in concern, with an outstretched hand
So sensitive! But it’s adorable. I want it.
“I like it; let’s keep it!” She called him over to show him. “Cute, right?”
“You don’t gotta keep it… We can take better ones.” She shook her head in protest.
“Nope, I’m keeping it. We can show our children how sensitive their daddy is.” She let out a sweet laugh. “Are you embarrassed? Is that why you don’t want to?” He looked at his feet for a moment before returning eye contact with her with a soft smile.
“If it makes you happy, we’ll keep it.” Her eyes were alight with joy as she giggled uncontrollably.
“I love you, Shane.” He took her hand, placing a gentle kiss on her fingers. “When we’re done, we can go to the pond and feed the ducks.”
“Hmm.”
“Redbud trees look nice.” She reached out to him, straightening his tux.
“Hmm.”
“There is a longstanding myth that Judas Iscariot hanged himself from a tree of this species... And yet, since the leaves are heart-shaped, it makes for a beautiful symbolic display of love that everyone has come to associate them with… Funny, isn’t it?”
“Hmm.”
“Is grunting all you’re going to do, my dear husband?”
“No.”
“Well, then, talk with me. What do you like and what do you hate? Did you enjoy the cake?”
“I enjoyed the cake... Today is your day; it ain’t about me.” His eyes dropped again.
“It’s our day—it’s our wedding. Shane, it’s about the both of us; don’t forget that.”
“It’s time for the family portrait.”
Both sets of relatives gathered in the sea of royal white-flowering redbud trees. Sasha and Maggie fixed her gown, and the photographer positioned everyone right away. In the mids of things, Michonne caught that some people weren't present. She scanned the surrounding area and noticed Rick standing by the side, under a tree, with his girlfriend, Lori, as she held their baby boy.
“Wait!”
“What’s wrong?”
“Rick isn’t here. He’s your brother; he should be here. Same as Carl and Lori.” Shane came to a realisation when he heard his wife’s words. His little brother wasn’t there. Following Michonne’s line of sight. He caught him in his view and waived him over.
“Rick! Come on, man! Don’t keep us waiting!” Rick stood there, unwilling to move. It was Lori who forced him over. “Alright! Now that lover-boy is here, let’s do this.” Shane slapped his brother on the back.
Since the reception was held in the gardens as well, they evacuated the media so Michonne could finally relax and not worry about how she looked to others. Everyone was having a merry old time. Sasha was harassing her brother Mike and Maggie was down drinking. Shane had gone with his father and brother, talking to business associates. She was sitting at the table alone when her mother-in-law Eleanor, sat next to her.
“Not taking part in the festivities?”
“I’m okay.”
“Mhmm. You know, Michonne, I like you.”
“Huh?”
“I see a lot of myself in you.” Eleanor reached out and played with Michonne’s diamond earring. “You’re a sweet, young girl, yes, even naive. No doubt your parents had you under lock and key. I’d say that you’d be eaten up and swallowed whole, but I see this spark in you—this resilience, this loyalty… You’ll be a good wife for my son. He doesn’t need some floozie who thinks a baby is gonna make all her dreams come true. You’re a good, smart girl who will learn and survive. It’s why my cunt of a husband and I chose you. My son needs someone like you by his side.”
“I don’t—I don’t think I understand…” She admitted, her voice carrying the resignation of someone who had yet to find answers. Eleanor withdrew her hand from the clueless girl.
“Of course not, dear, but you will, given time. A word of advice, keep your thoughts to yourself; do not care what anyone else has to say and you’ll be just fine. I know a diamond when I see it… I’ve enjoyed this talk.”
Eleanor got up, leaving Michonne spluttering incoherent sounds, as if her thoughts were too tangled to express. Eleanor was always sweet to her. She didn’t quite understand much of their cryptic discussion nor did her mother-in-law wish to explain it. Michonne didn’t know just how valuable those words would come to mean or their weight. She was in thought until her husband came to fetch her.
“Are you ready?
“Mhmm.”
...
8 years, 9 months later
They stood over what seemed to be a lifeless corpse, Michonne’s white heels stained with fresh blood. Time slows as the gravity of the situation weighs it down. She grabbed her chest, her fingers quivering, as if attempting to keep her pounding heart from escaping. Then she put her quivering tips against her temples, attempting to calm the frenetic ideas racing through her skull, each one a teasing reminder of her rising terror. Their breath came in jagged, uneven gasps, as if their lungs strained to suck in oxygen within the crushing grasp of dread, each inhaling a war against their own panic as their eyes met. They were fucked.
...
...
...
Now that the prologue is complete, the key points to properly understanding this story are colour, styling, clothing, relationships, and references to sayings and myth. The colours will tell you a lot or lead you astray. I put both negative and positive for a reason. Sometimes one will apply, and sometimes both will apply. I was listening to the succession theme the whole time I was writing Chapter One while listening to Jon and Daenerys love theme/suite, plus it was also an element mix of the Og Dynasty and Bold and the Beautiful. Og characters will be in this as main players, along with Richonne, Carl, Shane, Andrea, Magna, Maggie, Sasha, Beth, Daryl, Negan, Phillip, and Jessie. I don’t know if I missed someone; I probably did. So I have a little chart that will be updated as the story goes on. It is not a necessity but to keep track as the story goes on...if it goes on. you can skip everything below!
Family Chart
…
THE WALSH’s
Original Branch
…
Ronan Lucius Walsh II
Ronan Lucius Walsh III (66), Patrick Friedrich Walsh (42), Cillian Artorius Walsh (63), John (61) Castus Walsh, Joseph Caesar Walsh (58)
Branch 1.1
John Castus Walsh (61), Eleanor Olivier Grimes-Walsh (55),
Shane Johnathan Walsh (34), Shawn Montgomery Walsh (32), Kendall Oliva Walsh {K} (28)
Branch 1.2
John Castus Walsh (61), Andrea Holden (36)
Alexander Malcolm Walsh (18), Andrew John Walsh (11)
Branch 2.1
Shane Johnathan Walsh (34), Michonne Marie Walsh {Chonne} (28)
Andre John Anthony Walsh{AJ} (6), Maliyah Olivier Marie Walsh {Lia} (3)
Branch 2.2
Shawn Montgomery Walsh {Monty} (32), Magna Anders (27)
N/A
GRIMES’
Eleanor Olivier Walsh-Grimes , James Augustus Remus??
Richard Daniel Grimes {Rick} (30), Lori Wayne (30)
Carl Arthur Grimes (8)
HAWTHORNE’s
Michael Mace Hawthorne (59), Michelle Marie Hawthorne (55)
Michael Micah Hawthorne {Mike}(33), Macie Maya Hawthorne (31), Michonne Marie Walsh (28)
Chapter-1
Chapter-2
#michonne grimes#richonne fandom#maggie rhee#sasha williams#richonne#richonne fic#richonne fanfiction#rick x michonne#Rick Grimes#Michonne
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fausto for the ask thing...... the girl herself
butterflaust :)
first impression: you really get the feeling that she fucking hates you. shes rly funny cuz shes the tutorial character but doesnt leave after the prologue. shes here forever, judging dante. i feel in the beginning i skimmed over all the nuance in her dialogue assuming its just wordy for the sake of wordiness.
current impression: faust is soooo... faust. upon replaying the prologue shes way less cold than i first thought, her little c: smile when talking about mephis was saur cute. in fact shes not really cold at all to me, simply operating in a faustly way. you can contextualize what she does as a way to keep herself occupied. not really for some deeper lore sense (because ionno what her deal is) but a bitch needs some stimuli. i think if she was made to do arts and crafts with no larger purpose outside of fun she would explode into blood and gore. it also makes her friendship with yi sang really funny because i wonder if she cares to understand his artsy spech past it being a little clever wordplay. if he made her a drawing she wouldnt know how to compliment it outside of a technical sense. her flavor of arrogance is also so funny to me because its so stupid? like when rodya complimented her and she puffed up and went faust Is cool. the speaking in 3rd person too is funny, knowing she isnt LARPing like don and is very much just Like That. theres alot about herself she either doesnt notice or simply does not want to examine deeply like her mild competitiveness or tendency to manipulate people if it means theyll be less annoying to her. simply the faust of all time
favorite moment: i think the sweetest and funniest thing was realizing her spiel about yi sang not being a genius Unlike Her and believing in more philosophical things unlike her Sensible and Tactile self was an attempt at a COMPLIMENT. i thought she was ripping him to shreds but no she was actually hyping him up a bit in the most clinical way possible
story idea: you know earlier when i said making faust attempt creative expression would cause her to explode into bits? well i want to see it anyway. im forcing her at the kindergarten table of that nasty smelling homemade playdoh and telling her to make a new animal. sinclair made a bear with with wings called a beear. very nice young man.
fav relationships: im enjoying the fandom divide with faust shipping where she is either getting bitches left and right and not giving a fuck to maintain them (because it comes out weird when she tries) or not even being aware of when shes down bad and having the primal part of her brain that tells her to bite and roll around hijack her motherboard. shes being corroded by an insidious EGO called... horny, different to lust, which is Krausts jam. i already wrote a little bit about fausang and i think fausts inability to know how to enjoy things makes them a very sweet duo. in her mind the guy doesnt come a lick close to her own brilliance, but something about how he closes his eyes in understanding speaks more words than compliments do. not to say that faust doesnt like being hyped up. because she does, like all the time. if they were walking she wouldve tripped when rodya called her babe. her greatest flaw is pretending shes above anything, if there was a chance to maul ryoshu she would without pausing. probably so turned on she cant see anything. ishmael too. also outis. hey, whats going on here? my sources tell me due to her ongoing opposites to yi sang she is incapable of a domestic lame marriage the way he is. ishmael is the yuri messiah, but faust is the yuri menace. you know what they are both capable of though? following rodya around enamored because that was the first pet name theyve ever been called and it felt Funny.
fav headcanon: in the newest credits cg for canto 4 i think shes telling vergil she has a tummyache
#egg asks#faust#my followers seeing my url on their dash like boy i hope it isnt a giant text wall again#i shouldve specified i can answer non limbus things too
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wishing allie the literal happiest birthday ever ever ever!!!!
happy happy 22nd birthday to one of my best friends literally ever, @oblivious-idiot !!!! oh my god how I love and cherish you. I am so so happy that we met- i think we initially started talking during the period of time where we were trying to decode possible renewal news before the cancellation, and I'm so so glad that we started talking.
not a day goes by where i am not insanely grateful for you. you are one of the kindest, sweetest, funniest, and most genuine people i have ever met. you have helped me through some insanely tough times, and I genuinely can't remember what my life was like without you.
you and i understand each other in ways I cannot possibly try to explain. As a person with AuDHD, I've kinda taught myself to dim/dull my passion and excitement for things to make other people happy or more comfortable, but you are one of the few people that I have never felt like I needed to do that with. I can be as excited and as unhinged as I want and you literally always understand. I know i say "you get it" a lot and its kind of our thing to say that back and forth but i truly mean it from the bottom of my heart. You understand me in ways I've never been understood before and its such a beautiful feeling to be known by you.
every time i think about it i feel like it's absolutely insane that we haven't even known each other for a year. like??? you're such a fixture in my life its insane to think that we only met early this year.
to anyone who does not have the pleasure of knowing allie, please PLEASE try. to know allie is to love her, and I'm so proud to be able to say that I both know and love allie.
happiest of birthdays to the george to my lucy. i love you forever and ever <3 wishing you nothing but light and love for your next trip around the sun :)
(this is literally us by the way in case you didn't know)
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i recently rebinged g3 and i have some notes
• i absolutely adore paisley and autumn. i feel like it’s really hard to pick a “best girl” or even “best character” when it comes to this generation. they’re all amazing and wonderful in their own ways. but if i had to pick the characters that i feel were the most influential, it would be those two. they make me feel so joyous and happy when on screen. i love paisley’s friendship with olly… i love autumn’s passion for animals… they’re both just so cute and so sweet and perfect
• liann and nova are totally girlfriends. my friends and i were in the car discussing the new playset (of the chocolates, flowers, etc. from nova to liann) and how specific it is. like they have to be dating! dating! I WOULDNT DO ALL THAT JUST FOR A FRIEND! i know it’s a show about friendship but cmon! why didn’t nova do that for anyone else? oh, i don’t know… BECAUSE LIANNOVA IS 👏🏻 CANON 👏🏻
• leo is by far my favourite boy. he’s the perfect combination of silly, creative, anxious, and boyish. i just adore him and his goofy watermelon shirt whenever he is on screen
• brad is the funniest character for sure. it’s never a dull episode if brad is getting some screentime. he totally reminds me of those class clown kids at school who did a bunch of childish, random, “funny” things just to get attention from the teachers and classmates. like bro doesn’t need to be doing all of that. i love him for it, though
• aliya and autumn have the cutest friendship for sure. they level each other out pretty well and that’s always something i always look for in my ships and pairings. i of course love autumn with nova, i love aliya with liann. i love most pairings. but those two were my og ship from g3 just just just being announced and they still live on as a top favourite ship of mine. they’re so perfect together
• paisley’s backstory literally tears me apart. her and olly being friends is so cute. one of my most favourite moments between them (and the entire show, to be exact) is when they were both filled with tears of joy and olly asked to give paisley a hug. that is the purest most sweetest most kind hearted thing and they are so adorable. olly is always there to lift paisley up and help her through her troubles. she’s always there to support him and be kind to him. getting her to sing her mother’s song and getting her to perform were two very big things paisley never would’ve done on her own. i think if any of the other friends were to try to help her with that, she wouldn’t have gone through with it. but her friendship with olly is so sweet and i hope they stay best friends forever
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Dear friends, just a note to say... dress warmly, eat well, stay safe and sound, keep smiling, I’m always there for you.
2022 was a really great year for me on here, I’ve made more friends than i ever could have expected, and had so many wonderful interactions with people in my askbox and beyond. Stray kids have brought me so much joy, only amplified by the kindness I have received from all of you. I am so grateful for all you have given me, especially the love and support you have shared. I feel so privileged to be a part of such a kind, safe, space. I love creating for stray kids, and especially for chris, it brings me so much peace and joy in my life and I’m thankful to everyone here for giving me the opportunity to be absolutely insane over him.
@lonelystreetlight the loml (behind chris and jeongin and minho and jisung and cha- you know where you stand) my bestest friend my otp to age our friendship 😌 i love you and i miss you so much you’ve helped me more than anyone could ever understand and i’m forever trying to draw enough jisungs to repay that 🍕
@brianbangs amazing how we proved science wrong by being actual twins while never having met 🤔 truly immaculate of us. thank you for being the most unhinged person in the world with me about that one guy we’re both disgusted by. and for being the sunshine and rainbows to my lil storm cloud of a being. i know our friendship is still so young (how have we not known each other for decades?) it’s so important and special to me. i love you very much the ashley to my mary kate
@quokki oh my wife i love you so much. you are so talented and fun and amazing. i love getting to watch your art style evolve into the super cool style it’s become. i get to look at that immaculate chris every day and be so floored that you made it just for me 🥺 thank you for being my friend, it really means the world to me
@nevoono god you are so special to me nev, i am so happy you live in safe my little phone making the cutest and funniest art in the world. and that you’re constantly giving me these perfect icons and thinking of me 🥹 i love you so so much you’re the sweetest person ever i’m so happy you’ll always be my first stayblr friend 🖤
@decembermoonskz oh izzy my angel i love you so much, you’ve truly made my entire stayblr experience a million times better, i love talking to you and hearing about how you’re doing and i’m always here keeping you in my thoughts and hoping the world is treating you like the ball of sunshine you are to me and everyone lucky enough to know you
@ the stayblr discord there are a million of you i cannot be bothered to try and tag everyone, but thank you for all the amazing love and support this year, literally could not have gotten through it without you. i love you and i promise i’ll try to be more active 😔
@ my anons my sweet little garden of anons that come to visit me i appreciate you so much, i feel so lucky to have each one of you coming to spend time with me, to share things with me! you’re all so very special to me
and last but not least to all my mutuals and followers, you mean the world to me, i would be nothing without all the support i get in the tags you give me. there are so many ppl on here that i’m too shy to talk to but i adore i wish i could befriend each one of you like you deserve. thank you for being here and loving chris and skz with me 🥹🖤🤍
Signed
Dreamy
ps if you get the reference from the beginning im kissing you on the forehead hehe
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"Nights To Remember Ch. 5: You Belong To Me~..."
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~
Jimmy & Dahlia made their exit from the Chuco sometime after that. The smallest thing triggered it. The funniest thing. A song by the Duprees. And a shared look after one last dance.
"See the pyramids along the Nile…
Watch the sun rise on a tropic isle…
Just remember, darling, all the while…
You belong to me…"
The look they shared was laden with understanding. A flicker of a shared shy, sheepish smile. A soft laugh at how fitting the song was then.
They both knew it was time. It was in their nerves. In their blood. A little flicker in their eyes.
Jimmy laced his fingers through hers, hand swallowing hers as he gazed down at her. "Shall we?"
Dahlia nodded simply. "Let's go."
Jimmy slipped out of his jacket, draping it around her shoulders before leading her back out into the now much cooler night. He nodded & smiled in greeting, tossing a few waves to some cheering fans before they were both tucked safely back into the quiet private depths of the backseat of the town car he arrived in.
"Darling, you really shouldn't have run off like that. You really did give me quite a fright. Though I'm glad you left word for me with Peter." He tutted, patting her hand.
"Of course, baby." She reached up to cup his face tenderly & thumbed the swell of his cheek. "Like you already said I didn't want to worry you. I got bored back there but saw you were still having fun. I knew Peter would get the word to you in where I had gone. If you didn't already know or guess. I just got homesick I guess. Missed things. Missed the place. The fun. You know. The old days I guess."
The old days.
Memories danced in Jimmy's mind. Of more dances here. More dances at the Chuco. Inside under the tinted light. Outside on the patio. Under the streetlight. Under the stars. Under the moon.
From the first time she took him there in his Yardbirds days to then. Through all lengths of his hair. Through all lengths of his beard. Both before & after his beard. Pinstriped trousers, jeans, velvet bellbottoms. Silk blouses, lace trim, simple cotton. No matter what he wore he was always welcome. She was always welcome. They were always welcome.
It wasn't hard to see why she loved it.
Why she missed it.
Why she escaped.
The other party was the complete opposite.
Though she stuck out in both like a sore thumb - albeit a stunningly beautiful one - it was clear, she fit this one like a glove.
"I'm sorry if I worried you at all, Jimmy. I thought maybe if I went along with Robert when he offered you'd have less to worry about."
Jimmy stifled a laugh. Stifled a grin. Barely. After all these years. Even after that night. She still had no idea. He was glad in a way. It meant Robert hadn't tried anything. It also meant that certainly Magnet hadn't either. It meant she was still safe. Still his. Still secure.
"Forgive me?"
And thus, so was he.
Cupping her face in his large hands, Jimmy cooed in a dragon's curl of smoke from the cigarette he had just finished. "There's nothing to forgive, my dear. Nothing. As long as you're safe."
Dahlia beamed at him, placing her hands over his cupping her cheeks, starry-eyed as ever. "I had a wonderful time tonight, darling. Hope you did too. Despite the slight fright I gave you."
His smile grew before his lips pressed to her forehead once more. "My dearest. My sweetest. My loveliest. My only. My girl. My lady. My Dahlia."
His heart swelled in his chest at what he saw flickering in her gaze. The light. The devotion. The purity. Purity of gaze. Of heart. Of love. Of feeling. Of emotion. Pure, raw emotion.
All of this led him to make one simple promise. "The night's not over yet, my girl. My lady. It is but still young for us."
"I bless the day I found you…
I wanna stay around you…
Now and forever, let it be me…"
Jimmy's smile brightened at the sound of the Everlys crooning over the radio. "Remember this song, my darling?"
"Don't take this heaven from one…
If you must cling to someone…
Now and forever, let it be me…"
Dahlia's smile quirked in the same way. Instantly, she read his mind. "Palomino, 1969."
They shared a private giggle. A favorite date of theirs. A favorite memory of theirs. Jimmy taking Dahlia to see the Everly Brothers at the Palomino in 1969. Holding hands. Holding her close. Sneaking squeezes of her hand. Sneaking little clinches. Sneaking kisses. As they did before.
"Each time we meet, love…
I find complete love…
Without your sweet love…
What would life be?..."
As they did then.
Jimmy leant in & nuzzled Dahlia. Nuzzled his wife. She nuzzled back. A low growl sounded in his throat. A purr in hers. A chuckle followed from him. A giggle from her.
The partition rose between them & the front seat. Jimmy's arms came around Dahlia's back, hands caressing the skin left bare by her low backed dress. Dahlia shivered & purred again, reclining back as Jimmy leant her back into the seat. Her arms circled his shoulders as their nuzzling intensified & once again their lips met.
She shivered as she felt his silver jeweled pendant cool against her hot skin.
"Gee whiz, look at his eyes…
Gee whiz, how they hypnotize…
He's got everything a girl could want…
Man, oh, man, what a prize…
Oh, oh…"
As the song played Dahlia gazed up at him in the flickering, intermittent light. The dragon's green fire seared her to the core. A private smile was shared. A tandem flicker. The air crackling between the two as it so often did. And suddenly two pairs of curved lips crashed into each other.
"Heaven up above knows how much…
I love that fella's soul…
Angels sing of a love like this…
I hope our love will grow and grow…"
Jimmy's lips burned a trail of heated kisses down her throat as his hand blazed a trail up her skirt. Her legs fell open instantly. As if on command. Under his spell as ever. Open sesame.
"'Cause, gee whiz, I love that guy…
Gee whiz, my, my, oh my…
There are things we could do…
I could say I love you…
But all I can say is…
Gee whiz…"
His lips trailed back up to claim & conquer hers yet again. Dominating her again. Mauling her again. Dahlia nipped his lower lip softly, earning a throaty growl. The growl of course came with more hungry, devouring kisses.
A sudden gasp left Dahlia's lips, thighs tightening around his hand slightly as Jimmy's fingers shifted her panties aside & his middle finger pressed inside.
"Dahlia… My lady…" He panted.
Dahlia let her legs fall open just that bit wider. Jimmy's finger pressed deeper, curving towards those familiar places he knew so well would elicit those deliriously sweet sounds.
"Ah!..."
And little bucks & lifts & rocks of her hips as she was so doing then. Each little buck allowed her skirt to slip higher and higher up her thigh. The slipping slip dress thusly only revealed more and more of her shifted panties & his working fingers.
The sight of the flickering light, intermittent from passing cars & streetlights, flashing on her exposed core stirred him to no end. The sight of her lips parted. Him parting her lips. His fingers parting them & pumping. Curving. Pressing deep. Making her mewl. It stirred him… To action.
"Oh, my angel…
Come back to me…
And I will love you…
Till eternity…
Oh, my angel…
This fire in my heart…
Consumes my happiness…
Since we are apart…"
Jimmy let Dahlia slip from his arms momentarily, only to bring both hands to his belt & undo it.
"Dahlia… Forgive me… I need..."
Dahlia merely allowed herself to sink down onto the sear & giggled. "There's nothing to forgive… As you said, my love…"
Jimmy hurriedly undid & unzipped his trousers, freeing himself & allowing his length to fall free. Dahlia giggled again & softly stroked his length in greeting. Jimmy jolted, grunting, groaning deeply. He stilled himself, allowing her a few more smooth strokes before acting again.
Taking her hand & once more pressing a kiss to the back before draping her arms around his shoulders. Coming close, he gave her panties a tug down her thighs before embracing her once more. And with that, Jimmy rose over her, drawing his hips back & piercing her in one go.
"Ah!" Cane the tandem response.
"You're mine…
And we belong together…
Yes, we belong together…
For eternity…"
The music was the perfect soundtrack as they lay wrapped in each other's arms. Another giggle was shared between the two before Jimmy pressed deeply once more. Another thrust. Another gasp.
"You're mine…
Your lips belong to me…
Yes, they belong to only me…
For eternity…"
Jimmy rolled his hips into hers slowly. Smoothly. Deeply. He drew out moan after moan. Sigh after sigh. Stirring her from deep within.
Dahlia's back arched, allowing Jimmy to slide the spaghetti straps down her shoulders. There he was able to bunch the silken dress at her waist. There he was able to trail kisses down her neck as her head craned back.
His lips trailed a heated path down to her breasts, circling her nipples & sucking them into peaks as his tongue batted & teased them. The sight of her panties, filmy & now sodden, ringing around her ankle led him to remove them, pocketing them secretly. Then, Jimmy's smile widened as Dahlia's legs wrapped around his waist. Her heels grazed the upholstery on the door behind him, her ankles locked behind his back as he drove consistently into her as they were driven around.
"You're my, my baby…
And you'll always be…
I swear by everything I own…
You'll always, always be mine…"
Dahlia watched as his pendants glinted in the light. Dangling & spinning. Hypnotizing her. Each thrust pierced her to her very core. Stealing her breath away. Her hands slipped under his jacket, sliding along the smooth expanse of skin along his back. Her fingers curled. Nails scoring into his shoulders.
His hips stuttered & faltered only momentarily before snapping harder & ever so slightly faster into her.
"You're mine…" The song crooned.
"Jimmy..." Dahlia mewled, arching her back slightly. The way her eyes both glittered & hazed over caught his eye. He recognized that. Recognized the way her nails dragged from his shoulders down his back. He hissed & shuddered & snapped his hips yet again, thrusting deeper still.
Her legs tightened around him. Walls tightened around him. Arms tightened around him. "Ahhh… Jimmy… Jimmy…"
"Are you close, darling?" He asked with a kiss, even though he already knew.
As he expected, he saw her nod slowly, still with that hazed starry-eyed gaze.
Jimmy smiled, sliding one hand down to brace her hip. His thumb swirled gently on her clit as he began to hone his thrusts in a very pointed fashion. Dahlia gasped softly. The gasp was muffled against his lips as he claimed hers in yet another passionate kiss.
"Mmmm… Me too…" He admitted, with a cheeky grin, muffling his subsequent chuckles into her lips just as she had muffled her gasps.
Now their hips rocked in unison. Lifting & rolling into a sweet, smooth grinding meeting. The two of them colliding over & over.
"Jimmy…" Dahlia mewled.
"Mmm-hmm…" He purred, wrapping one arm around her back, the other hand bracing her thigh, keeping it close to him.
"Jimmy… Jimmy…" She nipped his lower lip, causing him to growl. The sound vibrated through her body, making her shiver & clench around him.
She felt him drive into her clenching tightness in a few short quick thrusts, aiming for her spot just so & jolted. Another gasp fell from her lips as her back arched. She clutched into him & with the last of his thrusts as he grunted & groaned, he spilled & she shattered.
Galaxies collided as their bodies had, shattering & spreading stardust across her vision, the stars he had seen in her eyes sealed with a bated breath sigh of his name & kiss.
"Jimmy..."
The same stars she saw alight in his now as his lids fluttered open. Emerald depths twinkling in greeting as their gazes met.
"My lady…"
"Jimmy…"
Her fingers drew their last trails down his back. Another hiss fell from his lips as he stirred deep within her, filling her as he braced her body to his. Large right hand still bracing her thigh to his hip. His left arm still wrapped around her, keeping her stomach flush against his.
"I love you…"
He swore as his lips retook & staked their claim on hers at the same time. Deep, passionate, grateful, sated, yet all the more hungry kisses greeted her on the way down as they both recovered.
"I love you…"
She sighed her pledge in return.
Another purr sounded as despite the eternity their hurried climb & easy float down from their peak seemed to take, they both registered the last words of the song then on the radio. Fitting as ever. As always.
"And we belong together…
Yes, we belong together…
For eternity…"
~
Hope y'all enjoy~!
As ever, this is forever under construction~!
#untilthenextencore#led zeppelin fanfic#led zeppelin fanfiction#led zeppelin fan fic#led zeppelin fan fiction#jimmy page fanfic#jimmy page fanfiction#jimmy page fan fic#jimmy page fan fiction#robert plant fanfiction#Spotify
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Fandom Appreciation
@choicesfandomappreciation thank you so so much for hosting this event <3 we all appreciate you & your efforts so so much!
as per usual, i'm late to this but literally who's even surprised at this point? there are so so many people in this fandom who have my entire heart, & i will always be grateful to this fandom for allowing me to meet people i love & adore so so much 💘 so lets get this show on the road:
@utterlyinevitable : dom! i literally love you so fucking much you have no idea. i am so so glad we grew so much closer this year, because no one understands my brainworms better than you: from bridgerton to open heart to the royal romance i am so so glad i have you to rant and scream at <3 you're one of the most talented people i've had the pleasure of knowing, & im so incredibly lucky to call you my friend.
@maurine07 : the way this girl has my entire fucking heart. maurine i'm literally never lying when i say that you're one of my favorite people on this hellsite. you've been so incredibly supportive of me since day one, and i genuinely cannot thank you enough. the way you genuinely care about me & allow me to rant about my ocs? it means the world to me. i love ranting & talking to you so so much, & i hope we stay friends for a very very long time (also please rant about your ocs to me at any time i need to know what's going in that brilliant head of yours <3)
@mysticalgalaxysstuff : m! gosh i cannot believe we only met this year because it genuinely feels like i've known you forever. you are one of the friendliest, funniest & most supportive person i've met. the way you just get me & my humor, the way your reblogs make my entire day, just you - i hope you know just how much of an integral part you play in this fandom. also i will rant more about this in my upcoming (& lengthy) writer's appreciation post but i absolutely adore you & your writing. also miss marissa & you both have my entire heart.
@the-pale-goddess : sis! you're literally one of first people i interacted with on here, an og if you will. you also happen to be one of my favorite people ever. i am in forever in awe of your talent (as if you didn't already know this) but i am way more in awe of the kindness and poise you hold. you're always so incredibly welcoming to everyone here, and i know i can always count on you to make me laugh & feel better whenever i interact with you. i know you're not as active in the fandom as you once more, but i really hope we stay friends for a long long time because you are genuinely one of my favorite people <3
@ofmischiefandmedicine : lin, my brain twin - i literally love you so so much. i can't believe we became friends over someone sending me a hate anon and you coming to my defence, maybe they aren't so bad after all lol <3 i know you're taking a break from the fandom at the moment but i selfishly await for you to come back. but even if that doesn't happen, i know it doesn't mean our friendship is gonna end because you're stuck with me forever, obviously. you are one of the kindest, sweetest, most supportive people i have ever had the pleasure of meeting. the way you always go out of your way to stand up for what is right & for what you believe in is genuinely so inspiring to me. also let's not forget about your immense talent! the way we share all of the same thoughts and opinions is my favorite thing ever, apart from miss laura levchenko who has my whole entire fucking heart. also! petty lin is my fav <3 in conclusion i love you, so so much.
@starrystarrytrouble : ruby <3 the way i literally love you so fucking much. ma'am how are you so fucking talented? so fucking kind? so fucking funny? like genuinely, teach me your ways. i am so incredibly lucky to call you my friend. you have always been there for me, always so incredibly supportive & i appreciate that more than words can say. i will obviously rant more about your talent when i post my writer's appreciation post but i hope you know that e&e have my entire heart <3 also i can't wait to move to the uk & hopefully meet with you irl because how fucking cool would that be?!
@takemyopenheart : avy my beloved <3 you were one of the first writers who's works i read on here, and i have been obsessed with you since then. you are so incredibly talented, not to mention so fucking funny. i love love love that we are fellow bridgerton whores <3 i am so so glad that you're here & am forever grateful for your friendship & support. i love you!!
@openheartforeverinmyheart : lizzie!! again one of the people who i've only known for a short period of time yet it feels way longer. you are such a positive ray of light in this fandom, & i am so so happy to call you my friend. thank you for being so incredibly supportive of me since day one, it means the world to me <3 i love all your takes & ethan & adelina!! i am so so glad you decided to join our fandom because it genuinely wouldn't be the same without you.
@lsvdw-blog : l! my bestie! i literally love you and your big brain so fucking much <3 i love how i can always count on you to be my rant buddy like bitch how are you so fucking funny while having the best takes at all times? i am so incredibly grateful to you for always being so supportive of both me & my writing, it means so much to me. and bitch you already know i love serena & ethan & that angsty mind of yours, like yes please give me more break my heart to smithereens.
@cariantha : cari! my fellow brooks sister <3 since day one, you have been such a staple in our fandom, and i am so incredibly happy that you're here. i am absolutely obsessed with your edits & your talent, not to mention the immense support you show everyone here! i'm grateful to call you my friend & i love you mwah <3!!
@anotherbeingsworld : alya bestie i know you're not super active in the choices fandom anymore but it is how we met so thank fucking god for that because you are literally one of my favorite people ever. you're so fucking kind & talented like hellaur how do you do it? i am obsessed with you and all your ocs like is mastermind by twsizzle about you? also i love love love our calls so so much, we gotta do it again soon! also queen of moodboards & edits hello? i'm gonna stop now before i start ranting but i can't wait for you to visit sg so that we can finally meet irl & i can show you around the sights and be your local tour guide <3
@ariondevereux : nikka! again, i know that you aren't super active in the choices fandom anymore but it is how we met and i am so so thankful for that. your talent is fucking insane!! i am so so incredibly excited for the ethan & lana song like that little snippet i already saw? fucking out of this world. i absolutely love that brilliant brain of yours, your hcs and your characters and your pinterest boards like you don't understand, i'm obsessed. also you're literally so fucking kind?! like yes you have the voice of an angel but you're also literally just an angel in general, like i love you so fucking much <3
@burnsoslow : burns! the way i've been obsessed with you since day one. literally one of my favorite creators & human beings on this hellsite. the way you were so kind to me since day one? it meant & continues to mean so fucking much to me. i love you & your big brain so fucking much - let's have that wine & gossip day soon yeah?
@joachimtriers : tagging you because i know you're the biggest ethan stan ever <3 okay anyways you know how much i fucking adore you but this ain't about you so adios mwah <3
@katkart122 : the way you won't even see this because you fucking suck <3 but anyways of course you have to be on this fucking list because without this inane app i wouldn't have met one of my best friends (ew, that felt gross to type </3) -- you already know how much i adore you (not really) & your big brain (yeah really) won't get too sappy because that's disgusting but i can't wait to move in together and tell people we met because we simped over a 2d man's dick.
special shoutout to my og ethanbrook girlies <3 i know ya'll aren't active in the oph fandom anymore but i hope you know how much i fucking love y'all you guys made this fandom such an amazing place & you guys will always have a special place in my heart: @cryinginthebackseat @drethanramslay @thefeminineurge @openheartthot @sleepingdea @mortifying-macaroni
also shoutout to one of my favorite people ever- @terrm9 terr i know you aren’t active in the fandom anymore but if you see this just know that i love you so so much, you have the biggest heart and i will forever be grateful for your friendship. also i am obsessed with your mind & ocs and i still think about lina & tatum to this day <3 i love you my friend i hope life is treating you and your family well because you deserve that and more & oh tell my favorite human zuz that i said hi MWAH 💘💘
this post is getting egregiously long so i will shut up now, but i can't end this post without mentioning a few more of my favorite people, people i am so so grateful are in this fandom & make the fandom what it is: @blossomanarchy @lem-20 @a-crepusculo @jamespotterthefirst @mydemonsdrivealimo @alwaysmychoices @gryffindordaughterofathena @headoverheelsforramsey @bryceslahela @kcnnarys @potionsprefect @txemrn @quixoticdreamer16 @peonierose @annfg8 @trappedinfanfiction i love ya'll <333
#i just KNOW im forgetting someone ugh.#im gonna keep tagging people when they come back to me cause im an idiot lol#i love you all so so much#i will actually cry if that fandom dies anyways thats all bye <3#choices fandom appreciation
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Imagine YOU have an engagement ring for Alfred and you try and propose to each other at the same time
THIS IS SO CUTE!!!! He’d be so surprised and you’re surprised and it’s the funniest and sweetest thing and you both end up asking each other and putting the respective rings on! 🥺💌 I feel like Alfred would also get a ring to wear himself even if you hadn’t, maybe he already did and is like I like yours better I’m wearing it forever!
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RNM, 4x01
I loved this episode.
It was a solid season premiere, way more balanced than previous episodes and it's sad to know this is the last season when it feels like RNM finally found its way.
I didn't even dislike Maria in this episode 😲 Although it seems like she is gonna be a pain about losing her powers so she can live. 🤦🏻♀️ Let's wait and see how the writers gonna make her deal with all of that.
Maybe last season will be it to make Maria likable again?
But anyways, I'm sad for Kyle. The guy has been working nonstop as a way to avoid Iz, obviously. 💔
I still don't know how Isobel hasn't picked up on Kyle's feelings for her. I assume eventually she will and that might give us the funniest and sweetest scenes ever.
Her and Anatsa relationship it's not very convincing.
I think Anatsa would be a great addition to the show if they had time to develop her story arc. Which I'm assuming they won't. The I love you felt rushed and I'm sure soon enough the relationship will be over and forgotten.
Although it's seems she'll stick around until episode 4. 😳🤔
Max trying to propose was ... something. I never got the wedding feelings for Echo as their happy ending. Liz always wanted to see and do. For me, a better ending for them would be living their lives out of Roswell, together.
But, as Liz said, she'll say yes when the time is right. 💞
Speaking of timing, the introduction to the new characters was so well done.
The Tezca character (I think that's her name) didn't have to say a word for us to know she's gonna be trouble. 😳
Bonnie and Clyde seem to be motivated by misguided purpose but, my guess is they gonna turn up good, eventually.
The Alighting seems like an end of time sorta deal.
Very intrigued by what it actually is. Maybe our favorite aliens will need to head back to their home planet. Maybe they'll fight like hell to protect the true home they found on Earth and its humans. 🤷🏻♀️
Speaking of aliens and humans, Malex was a highlight in this episode. 🥰🥰🥰
It couldn't possibly be any other way. Domestic-angsty, who knew would be so good?
Michael's nerves getting the best of him just points out how much he loves Alex and doesn't want to screw it up. The guy is a genius who can build very difficult things and yet, his nerves (and his low self-esteem) didn't let him fix the gazebo model.
It's a nice callback to 3x13 bunker scene where Michael is terrified that something he'll do will break him and Alex up again.
The fear of losing everything for someone that always had nothing is so understandable.
Dallas and Max calling how it was just proved Michael never intended to back down from living together, but that didn't mean his insecurities would go away. He needed to let it out.
So he talked to Dallas, he talked to Max, and, to Dallas again. But what got through to him was coming back home and talking to Alex about it.
Alex was upset. A cute upset with the crossed arms, sitting on that couch just waiting for Michael☹️
Can you imagine being so happy about moving day (Alex was so pleased to be sharing everything he has with Michael) and then coming home and not seeing the love of your life but just a key on the table?
Alex handled the situation with the skill he has mastered over a decade: loving Michael Guerin.
There was just so much love in Alex's words to Michael, in a way that reassured Guerin but also allowed Alex to be vulnerable too. 🥺💜
The growth of both of these characters. They have been through so much since 1x01 but now they are finally there. In a place that's for forever.
Rating for 4x01: 9/10. It's not a 10/10 for me because Alex Manes should have been in more scenes and the birthday party should have been longer.
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(1/2) I'M FREE TO COMMENT!!! My Headcanon: BG3 men with kind and patient s/o. (pt. 1) request is so good! Don't worry about it! I was busy myself so I don't blame you! I'm sorry that my request made you write 5 times though 😅 It's definitely worth that wait ☺️ Thank you so much for letting me know you separated Dammon and Rolan in my second ask because it was getting long! It's good you didn't force yourself to write both of them in this request 👍 I love it especially Zevlor is a emotional mess & he considers kindness a virtue, he appreciates how they're trying to treat him with more kindness, he doesn't get much respect when he just want to prove he's worthy of his title 😞, they do their best to be patient with his outbursts of anger (I'm glad it's not at them!) or sadness, he cherishes how they always offer a shoulder to him 👍, he's slightly envious that they're kind to everyone, he's genuinely worried about them being hurt but he also wants them to only be kind to him ⊙.☉, it might be selfish of him but he's hesitant to let it go after being deprived of it for so long 🥺, Astarion is obviously wary of them after only recently gaining independence 😅, he won't blindly trust them as he believes that they might be part of a bigger scheme 😞, he enjoys their kindness when he gets used to it even the smallest gestures 👍 (What a coincidence that I do open the doors too 🤭), he can't help but melt from their kindness 🫠, he's terrified that they would be hurt because of their willingness to help people & told them to help those they can trust (HIM), he won't hesitate to fight them about this especially if they're about to or did get hurt 😞, he would tell them why they shouldn't & it's one of the times he's grateful they're patient, they do their best to compromise since they understand where he's coming from 👍, they're always patient as they will be there with him & let him know he can take his time as he has a lot on his plate 🥹, Wyll finds their kindness quite endearing ☺️, it's one of the reasons he fell in love with them 😍, he would encourage them as it's a virtue to him & to be a better version of themselves 👍, he reminds them that he would be there to pick up the pieces if they do get hurt 🥹, he's grateful for how patient they are 👍, he knows he's a handful if his pact with Mizora isn't broken & needs to leave several times, he will make sure to make it up to them for lost time when he returns ☺️,
im crying this is the sweetest and simultaneously funniest thing i have ever recieved, with all the comments and emojis? Makes me soft inside, thank you so much for this i will be forever grateful for it
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hi, this may be super weird for me to be sending an ask about, but genuinely i just had to. 5 years ago my older sister showed me this video from your acc, specifically the midoriya going TRROOOOOOOOYYYYYY to todoroki in the sports festival. it was like the FUNNIEST thing to us ever and became an inside joke for us, we fucking LOVED that video. and it was what got me into mha, no joke.
5 years later, im living with my sister, she’s since moved out and so much time has passed it feels, ive moved in with her a month ago. we’ve started mha again, i’ve been caught up with the manga, its great, but she went out of her mha phase. recently i got her back into it though and we decided to restart it for probably the sixth time. come season 2 tonight, i mention the video. we both lose our minds like “MAN that video was the FUNNIEST thing ever to us, i wonder if we could find it.” she goes on to spend the next HOUR looking for it in her account she’s had since she was like 12, she’s a grown woman now. she scrolls so far and it actually ends up sending her back to the top and she almost dies from the pain of it, i was laughing so hard. but she found it. we found your video of the dumb fucking high school musical 3 audio over the my hero academia sports festival arc. and atlast we have it again, and now we wont have to search through the fucking CATACOMBS of old tumblr to find it.
i come here to thank you, for that video. it was truly life-changing for us, truly. and by the way, you might recall having gotten an old, OLD ask from forever ago, im not sure when, maybe 4 years. it might’ve been anonymous, it might not, but it was someone telling you about the impact that video had had on that person and their little sister. that was my older sister. and now im here to tell you as well, just how much that video affected us lol. so whoever you are, i hope this can bring you a laugh or complete utter confusion, regardless i thought it was funny, and you just had to know.
I... I don't know what to say tbh... This is the sweetest most incredible message I'ver recived and it makes SO VERY HAPPY that you guys enjoyed that video that much. It really means the world to me, trust me on this hahaha
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This blog has become my time capsule of my past.
It captures a feeling and moment for me that will forever last.
She was my summer love, my one time girl.
I often find myself dreaming of her wondering what she’s doing now, hoping she’s good.
I miss her smile, her smell, the way she thinks. Our conversations. God I could listen to her for hours. She was the only thing I ever needed. I could literally just be in her company with nothing else and be the happiest I have ever been. That girl kept my mind alive.
I remember it all, everything n those eyes, beautiful blue eyes, I could easily get lost in those eyes, that smile that will forever melt me. She was and still is the most beautiful person, a soul I will forever long. She lit a fire inside of me that will forever burn strong.
I loved that girl more than I have ever loved anyone in my life. I still do. She was my it girl. They say with love it never dies and I guess it’s true, after all this time nothings changed. They say when you know you know and my god do I know!
Sure I’ve loved since but not like that, I have a big heart and I care a lot. Fact is no one has or ever will come close to her but that’s ok.
I’ve never truly been more myself with anyone, from the moment we first started talking it was so easy. She was my best friend.
We were both young back then, she had a lot on her plate and the distance made things so much harder, never mind the time zone challenges.
The physical distance is still about the same but the metaphorical distance has grown, the conversations fade becoming few and far between but one thing I’ve never questioned or doubted… one thing has forever stayed strong, my feelings, love and thoughts for her.
It’s funny when you look at it, she seems happy now; a new girl a whole life, two dogs a home and a new life. I’d have thought I’d have been jealous but strangely I don’t feel envy but only happiness for her. Knowing she’s happy is all I ever wanted I guess the thing is I just always wanted it to be me, I wanted to be the reason behind all that for her. All I hope is that she is always appreciated and loved and never taken for granted, I forever will wish her the utmost happiness.
I find myself randomly thinking of her and smiling, randomly through the day or night. A song comes on the radio or a little thing someone may say brings flashbacks to that time. I feel my heart flutter still when her name pops up.
It’s coming up to 5 years now but I still have hope that maybe one day our paths will cross again and our lives will align. I would drop anything and everything for her which is kinda insane when you think about it but hey I suppose love can make us do crazy things right?
‘I love you’ 3 words I can no longer tell her because that would be disrespectful to her and her new life but I hope she knows no matter what happens, no matter the distance I would be there for her in a heartbeat.
I wish her the ultimate happiness and success, she was and still is the most incredible, beautiful, funniest, sweetest and smartest girl I ever had the privilege of knowing or meeting and I truly wish her all the success now and forever.
I suppose I am lucky really some people wait their lifetimes to find or feel a love like this, I was lucky enough to find it. Yeah I may have lost her and I will forever miss her but it made me believe it made me feel so alive. It gave me hope and I can always look back and smile knowing I was lucky enough to experience and find something so real and true in my lifetime.
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at last!
it’s the morning after harry proposed, and here you are, in heaven.
warnings: some sexual content, not very graphic.
word count: 2k
. . . . .
As soon as you start to drift awake, you feel this overwhelming sense of bliss. Like everything is right in the world, properly aligned and in harmony. Your heart feels full, warm like the way a lover would cradle their hands around yours on a chilly winter night.
The thing that pulls you completely from the gentle embrace of sleep into the morning is someone actually grabbing your left hand. Not just someone, but Harry. And, you remember suddenly like a crack of lightning bursting through your sleep-weary skull, he isn’t just Harry, he’s —
“Morning, love,” he murmurs, his voice croaky and slightly slurred from sleep still, as he pulls your hand over to him and slips the ring back onto your fourth finger. “Y’always look so pretty in the morning. ‘Specially today.”
“H,” you whisper back, barely able to form a coherent thought. He’s your fiancé. You blink your eyes open, rubbing at them as you adjust to the weak light streaming through a window. “Oh my god, Harry.”
He’s grinning at you, eyes still half-closed. He brings your hand to his mouth and kisses the ring. “Oh my god, Y/N,” he repeats back, and you giggle.
You hold your hand up to the light, twisting your wrist so the small, classic diamond sparkles. You’ve seen it before, of course. You’ve known what it looks like for ages. The two of you picked it out together in a store a couple months ago. You’ve spoken about this moment, over and over — sometimes in practical terms to try and plan for your future, sometimes whimsically as you spelled out your wildest dreams to each other — but now it’s here. It’s real.
He was insistent on being the one to propose. You could pick the ring, the wedding venue, write the guest list and choose his outfit and even curate the reception playlist, he offered— as long as he got to propose. You accepted, of course, without the bargaining. You wanted him to do it anyway.
Harry isn’t one for grand gestures. When you first met him, only knowing him as the glamorous rockstar that he performs as when he’s on stage, you had assumed he would be into the massive displays of affection, the lavish gifts and the kind of relationship that no one can tear their eyes away from. But he isn’t really like that.
Harry is a cup of tea set out for you in the morning before you even ask for one. The last segment of the mandarin he was eating, held out for you to take. A hundred kisses to your cheek over the course of a night out, for no particular reason except that he’s tipsy and he loves you. A playlist that he texts to you with a sweet note in the description. Making the bed by himself before you’re done brushing your teeth. Carrying you from the car to the door at three in the morning because your heels are killing you and he’d rather roll around naked on broken glass than see you in any amount of pain at all.
That’s what Harry is. So it made sense that, rather than flying you out to Paris and organising a string quartet to play in the background while he got down on one knee under the Eiffel Tower at night (something you had joked about often), he did it in his own little unassuming way.
You wanted a surprise. That was all you asked. If he was going to ask, he better make it good.
It wasn’t big. It wasn’t grand or especially beautiful. You had been baking together all afternoon: flour all over the place, a small pile of chocolate chips that you’d “accidentally dropped” on the counter and were snacking on, cookies in the oven making the kitchen smell all warm and cosy. The echoes of your laughs and playful banter still lingered in the room. An Etta James album was playing in the background — Harry’s choice, of course. You were bending in front of the oven to check on the cookies.
“They’re looking good, H,” you said, gazing at them.
“Y/N,” he said from behind you.
“I think we’ve got a perfect batch on our hands.” You straightened up, reaching over to swipe a couple more chocolate chips from the shrinking pile. “Better than last time, those were all hard and —”
“Darling,” he said, a bit more firmly.
“Yeah?” You turned around, sucking on the chocolate, and froze.
There was Harry, on one knee on the kitchen floor, holding a little box and smiling gently up at you.
“Hi,” was all you managed to breathe out, once you regained the ability to move.
“Hello,” he said, smile growing. He cleared his throat. “I love you so much, you know?”
“Harry, you’ve got flour on your nose.”
“Do I?” He was grinning widely now, his tongue poking out the corner of his mouth as he tried not to laugh. “I’ll fix that later, love, got something more important to do right now.”
“Okay.” Your voice was shaking slightly.
He chuckled, and then took a deep breath to steady himself. “Y/N. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. You make my days better, every day. Most gorgeous, funniest, kindest, sweetest girl I ever met. You’re so fucking amazing — sorry, I shouldn’t swear. Probably ruins the moment.”
“It doesn’t,” you said quickly. You could feel tears threatening to prickle at your eyes. “Keep going.”
“Nothing’s going to stop me, angel,” he promised. He set his face, playing at being very somber. “I really need to ask you something.”
You bit your lip through a smile. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. ‘Cause every day I wake up and hug you and I think to myself that I never want to let go of you. Ever.”
You nodded, unable to speak for fear that you would just collapse from how unbelievably sweet he is.
“Y/N,” he said, finally. He took a deep breath and pulled open the lid of the little box, and there was your ring. His smile returned to his face again, bright and dimpled and so Harry you nearly starting sobbing right there. “Will you marry me?”
“Yes.” You were saying it before he even finished his sentence. “Yes, yes, yes, yes—” and you kept saying it until he was back on his feet and had swept you up in the tightest hug, pulling you into his chest and spinning both of you around.
You clutched at the front of his fuzzy sweater and pulled him into a kiss that made the world feel like it was shifting. Because it had. Everything had changed now. It felt like the two of you had taken the world and cracked it open like a walnut, finding a completely new kind of life inside. A kind of life where you both completely, irrevocably, belonged to each other.
When he pulled back from the kiss, he rubbed his flour-covered nose over yours, then pecked another kiss on your cheek. “Got flour all over you, love.”
“Best go take a shower, then,” you said to him, grinning.
He raised his eyebrows, that mischievous glint in his eye that you so adored appearing. “Yeah? Okay, whatever my beautiful fiancee wants.” He let you take his hand and start to pull him toward the bathroom, before he suddenly jerked you back, making you stumble into his chest. “Shit,” he murmured. “Give me your hand, darling.”
“Oh.” You held out your left hand, and gently he slid the ring onto your finger.
He looked up at you, eyes shining. “Can’t believe I nearly forgot the most important part.”
“Me too. Silly goose.”
He snorted, and you leaned forward to kiss him again. He held his hands to the small of your back, pulling you closer to him. He was warm, his embrace firm, his mouth gentle. Tasting him, the sweetness of the cookie dough he had been stealing out of the bowl, the vanilla of the lip balm he used — you could have lived in that kiss forever. Any kiss, really. You weren’t picky when it came to Harry. But he pulled back, and ran his hands down to the back of your thighs.
“Jump, darling,” he whispered, and he pulled you up to wrap your legs around his waist, your arms looped behind his neck. He pressed his lips to yours again, then carried you to the bathroom, your giggles echoing through the house.
He got on his knees for you again in the shower — “Wanna treat my fiancee like a proper gentleman” — with your leg thrown over his shoulder, your hand with the ring in his hair, your head thrown back against the tiled wall. He was always good (outstanding in the field, you would joke) but somehow today he was better. Like he was trying to tell you something just by the way he licked up your folds and sucked on your sensitive little bud until you were shaking and your hand tightened in his hair in a way that was surely painful. Like he was trying to show you just how much he loved you, as if everything else wasn’t already enough.
Later, you opened up the expensive bottle of champagne you’d been saving and split it over the takeout he had ordered over the phone in a rush while your hands were slowly creeping down his bare chest and playing with the waistband of the sweatpants he had thrown on after the shower. You ate outside. It was a pleasant night and as stars started to dust over the sky, you were sure they were shining just a little bit brighter.
And when you finally made it into bed, he was immediately over you, his arms snaking underneath you and hugging you to his chest while he thrust into you, deep and passionate. He had his head buried in your neck, his moans vibrating into your skin and you knew he was feeling more than just the physical. It was beyond that for both of you. Treasure this moment, you kept thinking. Keep this day safe forever.
You came together. As he got close, his steady rhythm starting to falter, he grabbed your left hand and pushed it down into the mattress, so you could feel the ring pressing into your skin. That was what sent the both of you over the edge.
Sleep came easily, your limbs still tangled together, your ring lying on the bedside table because you were scared to sleep with it. Harry must have fallen asleep after you — as you dozed off, you could hear the rustling of his pillow as he kept turning his head to look at the ring glinting in the full moon’s light coming through the window. His strong arm wrapped around you, holding you close, letting the rhythm of his heartbeat lull you to sleep.
“I’m so fucking happy,” he says now, in the morning, quietly, breaking the silence that had descended over you. He says it like it could be the last sentence he ever speaks. A neat epilogue.
You look at him, your arm still raised in the air between you. His eyes are trained on the diamond, and you could swear his eyes are sparkling just as much as the jewel is. He blinks, and glances back to you. “So, so fucking happy.”
“Me too,” you tell him. You let your hand drop, finding his and intertwining your fingers. “Love being engaged.” The word rolls off your tongue easily, and that was thrilling. You’re engaged. “’S better than I imagined. Better than anything else, ever.”
“Mm,” he hums, running his thumb over the ring, and then along the empty space of your finger just below it. “I think it just keeps getting better from here, love.”
. . . . .
hope you enjoyed!! i wrote this in barely two hours around midnight (obviously with at last by etta james playing in the background) because i just had to get this concept onto a page. it’s only been very lightly edited so if there were mistakes or it was structured messily ........ sorry. but i am just so in love with these very domestic, un-grandiose proposals because the important thing is the love between the two rather than the big displays... yeah. anyway hope you liked and if you want to send me a request or just chat, my askbox is very much open!!!
#harry styles smut#harry styles fluff#harry styles fanfic#harry styles imagine#harry styles blurb#harry styles x reader#fiance harry#fic
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i am crying real tears that buzzfeed unsolved is over. this show was with me all throughout college, a year off before grad school, dropping out of grad school, life changes, life traumas, good times, career changes, rough times - through everything crazy that happens to you in your late teens-early twenties. it was always my favorite thing to watch through all of it. i remember when a coworker introduced me to the series via the sodder children true crime ep while we were working - in a library, where we had to be quiet as possible - and i both laughed so hard i cried, covering my mouth, and i was also fairly spooked. from then on i was hooked. while everyone else was watching this or that tv show i was watching bfu episodes over and over. whether i had a rough day or a good day bfu was always there. it truly became and is still such a constant in my life, so to know there will never be another episode is strange. but the ending was so perfect and, like ryan and shane, this feels like the right time for me to say bye as i too enter another new stage of life.
i grew up on ghost hunting / unsolved mystery shows, youtube, and comedy, so a show that rolled all those things into one would obviously end up being my favorite. ryan and shane are some of the funniest and sweetest people alive and watching their friendship grow in real time on camera over the years has been insane. it’s rare when two people have such chemistry and i’m glad this show allowed them to find that type of bond with someone, and i’m glad they are still making content together. i’m glad the stars aligned and these two weirdos ended up working at buzzfeed at the same time and sat next to each other and shane said okay to filling in for brent (no offense brent) and the rest is history. for that reason these are happy tears!
bfu has never gotten old for me and i don’t think it will; i’m still going to rewatch it all the time. it will always make me laugh and that damn music they put in the background will always make me a little spooked when i wake up in the middle of the night to find it still playing on my roku. i will always quote this show and i will always use memes from it. it’s simply a piece of media that is part of my life, part of me. it’s more than just that funny ghost hunting show with those guys from the internet, to me, really. it’s an old friend. a forever friend.
#buzzfeed unsolved#i’m sure the tag is spammed with posts like this. but i want it to be seen and i want to see everyone else’s!!!
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if you wanted to go to the moon, he would take you there.
plot twist | crash zoom | happy ending
16.1k (lol) | joshua x afab enby!reader, fluff, humor, suggestive, reader is ace lol, youtuber au, chef au, swearing, drinking, detailed descriptions of meals, mentions of past trauma including sexual assault, i swear it's not that deep, lots of implied sex but none on screen (yet), watching movies and playing video games, yes i am trying to set up all my friends, would anyone get it if i said r&r
welcome to part two of classic!! please enjoy this tooth rotting relationship garbo in which i basically announce to the world that i have a disgusting crush on joshua. posting this later than intended but i started working five tens so i'm 😅 a little tired lol. but joshua makes it ok <3
when you mentioned offhandedly that you had never had bibimbap in jeonju, joshua practically dropped the groceries he was helping you bring up the elevator.
"how long have you been in korea?" he asked.
you looked at him, wide eyed. "four years?"
he squinted at you, jutting his jaw out. "and you've never gone to jeonju? it's, like, the food hub of korea. how the hell?"
"i…" you laughed, exiting the elevator when the doors opened. "i don't know? it's never been top priority, i guess?"
"okay, well it is now," he stated plainly, following you to your door while you adjusted your bags in your hands to punch in the code. as soon as the groceries were safely on your counter, he pulled out his phone. "friday to sunday?"
you looked up from the vegetables in your hands. "what?"
he looked at you. "we're going. this weekend? i need to reserve the ktx tickets."
you laughed. "this weekend? joshua, it's wednesday."
"okay, next weekend?"
you stared at him a second, purely because you were in disbelief. "no, i have a demonstration next saturday."
he exhaled, looking at the calendar on his phone. "okay, and jamie's birthday party is the weekend after, so," he paused, looking at you through his lashes. "this weekend?"
you pushed your hands onto the counter and sighed heavily. "when would we leave?"
he grinned, knowing that meant he had won you over. "after i get off work? i can be here by 3:30."
"how long is the train?"
"uhh," he quickly searched for the tickets. "two hours. less than. we can buy snacks for the ride and have dinner when we get there."
you chewed your lip. "i have to edit on sunday, so we can't stay all day."
he nodded, inspecting the time table for tickets. "stay two nights, leave after breakfast?"
you considered that for a second. "i could bring my laptop and export footage on the train."
a smile crept across his face when you puffed out your cheeks in thought. "is that a yes?"
your cheeks deflated as you exhaled. "fine."
"yeah?" joshua grinned at you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and tugging you into his chest. "jeonju this weekend?"
you exhaled again, your arms reluctantly winding around his torso. "yeah. jeonju this weekend."
"you're gonna love it," he said, pressing his lips against your temple. "i helped on an article about hole in the wall finds there years ago, so i know all the good spots."
you giggled, pulling away to look at him with a quirked eyebrow. "you used to write for the magazine?"
he shook his head at you. "when i was interning."
"aw," you poked at his cheek. "intern joshie?"
he rolled his eyes, separating himself from you as you giggled, and he looked at you slyly from the corner of his eye. "joshie?"
you grinned, reaching out to pinch his cheeks. "joshie!"
he laughed and batted away your hands. "joshie?"
you: i think i'm finally packed
joshie: i don't understand why it was so difficult when we're going for Two Days.
you: 😡
joshie: 😘
as promised, he arrived at your apartment in a cab and stubbornly took your roller suitcase despite your insistence that you could handle it. joshua was always doing things like this - for you, you imagined, he would probably even lay down his jacket in a puddle so you wouldn't have to walk through it. but at the same time, he wouldn't fault you for kicking his jacket aside and purposefully jumping in it instead. he would probably join you, even.
he had joked with you that this would be like a work trip for you, but only because he was the one that suggested you film - plus, he reminded you, filming a full video this weekend meant that you didn't have to film next week. and to be perfectly frank, you wanted the break. if you could have a weekend getaway with joshua and then a week long break to have a normal routine without a camera, it was a win-win.
equipped with coffee and cafe sandwiches, you casually kicked your feet and happily sipped at your americano as you edited a picture of it for your instagram story. joshua sat beside you, also doing something on his phone, and you watched him with no intention as he pulled his airpods out of his coat jacket and offered one to you. you looked at him, smiling when he gestured with the open case again.
"i made a playlist," he said quietly as you put the airpod into your ear. he took the one you left and did the same, tapping on his phone.
the thought of joshua hearing a song and thinking of you making your chest flutter to life, the heat rising through you until you were left in a comfortable glow, smiling softly at him as a melody started in your ear. he looked back at you, double taking slightly when he realized you were looking at him.
"what's that look for?" he asked, a sideways grin breaking his face in half.
you shook your head, unable to change your face. "that's, just... really nice."
"making a playlist?" he hummed, settling back in his seat as you stuck your straw between your lips. "i didn't consciously do it. i just started a list of songs to show you because i thought you would like them, and this ended up being a good time to share it."
you sighed dramatically, falling back against the window of the train. "that's even nicer, you dickhead!" he laughed, shushing you and looking around, worried someone might have understood your slightly-above-inside-voice exclamation. "i know for a fact i didn't do anything to deserve the sweetest, handsomest, loveliest boyfriend on the planet, so what's the catch, mr. hong?"
his eyes went to the ceiling as he thought, kneading his lips once before saying, "i think you forgot funniest, too."
"ah," you said, a dry chuckle following the realization. "that's the catch."
"hey!" he laughed, eyes big as he pretended to be offended. "i know i'm funny!"
you giggled with him, mentally noting that you liked the song that he was playing. that he must have somehow picked up on why you liked the music you did. you thought about how you had the same thought, sometimes, when you were listening to music alone in your room and a song popped up on your discovery that sounded like something he would listen to. how you would immediately text them to him, knowing you would forget if you didn't send it right away, and he would react with some assortment of positive emojis. how he must have been doing the same thing, but wanted to be there when you heard them, and didn't have the same flighty memory as you. you brought your straw to your lips again, staring after him as he adjusted something in his bag, taking too long to refocus your attention to story you had been trying to post.
he later nudged you, getting your attention as you responded to an email on your phone, gesturing his finger with the melody, and you gave him a childlike look of awe, as if to tell him that yes, you agreed, this was exactly the kind of run you really enjoyed. he pounded a fist against his knee at the beats, pointing up at the key change, and you exploded into a stifled laugh, your palm covering your mouth. he laughed with you before he showed you the now playing page on his phone, holding it open dutifully as you quickly searched for it to add to your own library.
as promised, joshua provided great insight for the food tour the two of you set out on. travel day, he had told you, meant that you would have something easy - bibimbap and makgeolli at two of the best places he knew, apparently. by the time you made it back to the hotel room you had checked into before headed to the bar, you just about collapsed onto the queen bed.
"i'm so full," you exhaled, eyes dancing across the ceiling. "i'm never gonna move again."
joshua just laughed at you, toeing both of your shoes aside at the door before shuffling into slippers. "we have a full day of eating tomorrow, so you better move."
you let our a breathy laugh, rolling your head to watch as he flopped onto the bed beside you. "i'm glad you also plan trips around the meals."
he gave you a puzzled look. "is there another way to plan a trip?"
you rolled onto your side, tucking your arm under your head to look at him. "some people like sightseeing. or activities."
his brows were still ruffled in confusion as he looked away from you. "i like looking at food. and the activity of eating food."
you giggled, and his face finally broke to reveal the bewilderment had been a bit all along, his smiling laugh meeting yours.
you walked a lot the next day, and you were grateful for the light exercise to help your digestion a bit between meals. the local famous kalguksu for breakfast, a visit to a cafe for coffee before walking down a historical street together. you filmed with a smile on your face, shaking your americano for camera with a colorful background, just for you to pull down the drink and let the beautiful buildings and trees take the focus.
joshua could watch you forever, he was pretty sure. watching you conceptualise what you wanted this out of the ordinary video to look like, seeing the way you managed to be present with him, joking and giggling on your scenic walk, but squeezed his hand in warning before letting go, telling him quietly you wanted to get a shot. he had seen the way you filmed food, and how you filmed your kitchen, which was incredible in its own right, but this was the first time he got to see your process on the fly. when you went to work, as it were, taking in your scenery and deciding the way you wanted to portray it - more thought went into this than filming at the same barbeque restaurant for the fifth time, but joshua saw the similarities in the way your eyes twinkled when you saw something through your camera lens for the first time, even if only the first time that day. the way you would review the footage quickly, smiling at the way it turned out, but announcing that you were taking a second shot for safety.
then, he took you to another restaurant.
you barely noticed the passage of time, but when he conveniently "happened" upon the next stop on your food tour, you were pretty sure your stomach growled at the thought of eating an insane amount of dumplings, and you smiled at him in a way that made him want to cause it constantly.
if having your pick at dumplings was enough to make you giddy like a child, the night market was life altering. the food stalls were set up like they always were friday and saturday nights, joshua told you, and that meant you got to experience korean street food in a way you hadn't yet. you found the best pad thai you had ever eaten, succumbed to the tempting smell of grilled squid when passing a busy stall, and you even got served alcohol practically in passing, the specialty liquor being offered in a way that was hard for either of you to say no to. after a few too many, you had to stop joshua before he dragged you to a choco pie stall.
"we should eat more first," you said, gesturing to a woman making hashbrowns on a griddle. "while we have free hands. loop back around for dessert and buy some for the road."
joshua tapped his nose, then wagged his finger at you. "smart and hot."
you laughed, pulling him towards the hashbrown stall.
that night, you laid in bed beside each other, talking like you hadn't just spent literally the entire day together. recalling highlights of the day, sharing related anecdotes with assorted friends and family. you didn't even want to sleep - your body did, sure, clearly, by the way it kept interrupting your conversation with yawns. joshua would laugh, then yawn in response, and tell you that you should sleep. you would shake your head, a pout on your lips, and he would just smile and keep talking about whatever the yawn had interrupted.
being in bed with joshua wasn't demanding, nor was it uncomfortable, and you were pretty sure that meant something good.
you were making curry. he had mentioned that it looked good while you were watching some show the week prior and you couldn't get it out of your head. so, even though it was midsummer and far too warm for something as hearty as japanese curry, you decided you needed to make it anyway, if only for your own peace of mind. you invited joshua over to cook dinner for him, and he asked where your camera was when he arrived with your requested potatoes (you had some, except they were older than you thought and started sprouting), but you told him you weren't filming tonight.
"this ones for us," you said matter of factly, giggling when he looked shocked. "i don't film every meal, y'know. sometimes i cook things just for me."
he watched you dump the potatoes into the sink to wash. "what if it ends up being really pretty?"
"josh," you said, looking at him. "i don't make things that aren't pretty."
he asked if you needed help with anything, but you just shook your head and told him to relax. that you had made this a million times, and that you could do it with your eyes closed. he asked again if you were sure, and you laughed, scrubbing potatoes and using your shoulder to get your hair out of your face.
"actually," you said, raising the wrist on which you kept a hair tie. "do you know how? my hands are wet."
joshua smiled and nodded, coming over and pulling the tie off your wrist, careful to not get it too wet on your hand. "how high?"
"ariana," you said, making him laugh as you giggled. "as high as you can manage, but i don't really care."
he just smiled, taking your hair in his hands as you washed the potatoes one by one, and you tried to ignore the way you heart skipped a beat when you felt his touch drift across the back of your neck. he gently gathered it all in one palm at the crown of your skull, brushing through it with his fingers. "here?"
"perfect," you said, chewing your cheek and smiling. he pulled the band over your hair, tying it off tightly and pulled at the hair gently to keep it in place.
his hands glided over your waist, leading his arms to wrap around you as his chin landed on your shoulder. "not too tight?"
you shook your head, smiling. "you're multi talented."
"i have a sister," he reminded you, then put a kiss on your cheek.
you managed to convince him to sit at the counter, and he smiled and laughed with you as you conversed about anything that came to mind. he talked about his latest work antics, and you told him about a café you found the day before that you really enjoyed. he watched you skillfully chop vegetables and prepare chicken, flitting around your kitchen with a familiarity that could only be fostered by time. he glanced at the time on his phone, then looked at the door behind him that led to a bedroom.
"is karol here?" he asked. she normally would have emerged to say hi by now.
you looked at him before going back to pan frying the chicken. "no, she's in busan this weekend with some friends. she'll be back sunday night."
an alarm went off in joshua's head, and he tried not to think too deeply about the fact that you had invited him over while your roommate was away. sex hadn't even been a discussion on the table yet, but not because joshua didn't want it - because, frankly, he wanted it - he was just more concerned about you and your wants. for most things, he felt as though he had learned your thoughts and opinions naturally over the last few months, but outside of a few passing jokes, you hadn't ever mentioned how you felt about sex in general, much less sex with him.
so he stared at you, suddenly unable to ignore the fact that you were wearing shorts because of the weather, but they were hidden under the hem of the neutral toned apron he saw in your videos every week. or the way you smiled at him as you talked, your eyes glinting with mischief when you made a joke at his expense, but only made him laugh and want you more. he stood and came around the island, standing with his hip against the counter as the two of you continued conversing and you added the roux cubes to the pot.
his eyes never left you or your actions, and you noticed the way he inched towards you as your cooking became less involved and began to wrap up. you didn't argue when he put his arms around you again, watching you stir the curry with his cheek against your ear. he wasn't in your way, not even when you reached over to pull a spoon out of a drawer to give it a taste and make sure the seasonings were right, so you instead just enjoyed his presence.
you hummed, licking your lips briefly as you appraised the flavor. "not bad," you said, using the ladle you had been cooking with to pour more into the spoon you had just used to taste. you blew on it, then displayed it for joshua, who looked at you in his peripherals before accepting the bite.
"oh, wow," he said, making you giggle as you put the spoon aside. "that's better than a restaurant."
"thanks," you said, tapping the ladle on the side of pot to get the excess back in the pot, a spot of sauce landing on the back of your hand. you put it on the spoon rest next to your stovetop and replaced the lid on the pot of curry, quickly turning the burner to low. "now we just wait for the rice to pop," you said, spinning in his grip and licking the spot off the back of your hand.
joshua stared at you, desperately wishing in that moment that he wasn't such a damn man, because it was clear in your eyes that it was a completely innocent action. you got some of the delicious sauce on your hand, so why would you wipe it off when a towel wouldn't appreciate it like your tongue would? you wouldn't, obviously. he wouldn't have, either, if it had been his hand. but here he was, gaze fixed on your mouth as you pulled your hand away from it, and one of your eyebrows raised when you noticed.
"can i help you?" you asked, glancing down at his lips when he involuntarily leaned into you.
"i-" he swallowed. "sorry, i'm just-"
in that moment, you registered what his gaze meant. and while you were fairly oblivious to most things, you were far from innocent, so you put your arms over his shoulders and knit your fingers in his hair. "you're just?" you prompted.
there was a chuckle on his lips as he backed you against the counter, and he shook his head lightly. "i just think it's insane how into you i am."
joshua had this way of kissing you that made you think his life depended on it. he kissed you like you were in the final scene of an apocalyptic movie and he had come to terms with the fact that this was the end. like he knew that if your lips left his, he would magically disappear before he could tell you how much you meant to him. like he could stop time as long as he had you pressed against him with his hand on your jaw, but the sun was setting and he wasn’t ready to say good night.
when he finally pulled away from you, you were trying to catch your breath as his hands ran down your waist, and you stared into his eyes. his lips were parted, and his fingers gripped at your hips in a way that you knew meant he wished there were less layers between your skin.
your mind raced, thinking quickly back to how long the two of you had been seeing each other. how long you had known that you were interested in keeping joshua around for the long term. you wracked your brain, thinking about when people normally took the next step at your age, finding a discrepancy in the timing. you had made him wait for so long, but this was the first time you had noticed him trying to bed you - though, this was hardly subtle, so perhaps you had missed signs earlier? hell, the two of you had even shared a bed at this point, but you were pretty sure he hadn't tried anything then, either. you considered the fact that this relationship had gone for over two months without so much as a hint to take the next logical step, and you decided that joshua was definitely the only guy you had met in years that you would be willing to allow under your covers.
"the curry can sit for," you started, blinking rapidly as your mouth caught up to your mind. you swallowed once. "well, until tomorrow, technically, but-"
joshua's lip quirked upward. "did you invite me over to have me stay the night?"
"not-" you exhaled. his tone was slightly accusatory, but only playfully, and you found yourself more flustered by the question than you would have liked. "not consciously, but…" your eyes studied his face. "do you want to?"
"are you kidding?" he asked, making you breathe out a laugh, his forehead landing on yours. "did you not hear me when i said i was insanely into you?"
the rice cooker beeped, drawing both of your attention as it sang out a small tune to alert you it was finished. you looked at joshua. "are you hungry?"
he looked back at you, a smile sneaking on his lips. "i mean, working up an appetite wouldn't hurt, right?"
he let you lead him to your bedroom, which he had only been in once, briefly, when he had helped you put some lights away. the two of you admittedly spent most of your time in kitchens or restaurants, the remainder of your alone time being split between joshua's car and a couch to watch a movie, but joshua thought your taste suited his as he glanced around again, and that he would happily lose time in bedrooms with you. you kissed him again, and he was quick to pull you against his body, leaning into you, making you giggle as you bent backwards at the hips. "josh."
"what?" he asked, giving you a half lidded smile as his hand found your jaw, pulling you back into him. "stop leaning back and i'll stop chasing you."
"i'm-" you giggled into the kiss he interrupted you with. "i'm not leaning back, you're pushing me."
joshua made you feel like you were out of your depth, but in a way that was more exciting than scary. it had been ages since someone had been able to surprise you, or had helped you surprise yourself, but today he was doing both. the last time you had let a man into your heart, it had been less than perfect, especially towards the end, but joshua felt like home. cozy. he made you feel safe. like he wouldn't let you fall backwards unless your mattress was waiting for you.
and when you fell, he crawled over you, connecting your lips again with a hand against your jaw, the other holding himself above you, and you tried to restrain a whine.
"josh," you said suddenly, pushing on his chest lightly, processing fully what was about to happen and a shot of anxiety running through your chest. "c-can i tell you something first?"
joshua paused his motions, studying your eyes, his expression skewing scared. "oh, shit, are you a virgin?"
"what?" your eyebrows creased, a laugh on your lips. "no, what the fuck, josh? i'm in my mid-twenties."
he blinked at you. "there would be nothing wrong with you if you were a virgin in your mid-twenties."
"i'm not a virgin, joshua."
"right," he shook his head slightly. "sorry, i don't know. what were you saying?"
you chewed at your cheek nervously. "i just. i haven't… been with a guy in a really long time."
his eyes examined your face, looking for a hint at what you meant, because if it was only what you were saying, he didn't understand why you were so worried. "okay?"
"like, really long," you reiterated.
"baby, i promise," he said, forehead against yours. "i promise you, i don't care."
you exhaled sharply, wishing you could just enjoy things normal people did. that you knew what people wanted out of these encounters innately, instead of having to overthink them. "like, i don't want to… i don't know. disappoint you."
"disappoint me?" his head bobbed backwards in shock. "how the hell could i ever be disappointed when you're you?"
your eyes shut, grateful that he could still make you smile when you felt so out of your league. "i just mean that i-" you paused, trying to figure out how much you were willing to say, and how much you could without ruining whatever mood had been fostered here. "i just don't really do this. like, i feel like i don't know how."
"baby," he said, pressing his lips to yours briefly. "honey, sweetie, darling," he continued, punctuating each name with quick pecks. "you could starfish and i would have the time of my life."
you laughed, a hand landing on his shoulder sharply as he smiled at you. "okay, i'm not that bad, jesus."
"i'm telling you," he assured. "i don't care. i don't care if it's been months or years or forever, i don't care." he paused, appraising your expression. "we don't have to do anything. i'd be happy to just kiss you for an hour and a half if you're not ready."
"no," you whined, crinkling your nose. "it's not that, i just…" you took a breath. "i might just need you to take it a little slow."
"well, baby, you're in luck," he said, giving you a teasing smirk as his lips closed in on yours again. "slow and steady is exactly how i want you."
karol had said you hated men. she hadn't been wrong. you hated a lot of men, and how they made you feel like a prisoner in your own body. you hated the men you had encountered in your past, who made you feel small and weak. ugly and only wanted for one purpose, disrespecting your boundaries, your presentation, and your being. you hated those men, and nothing would ever redeem them for you.
joshua was different, though. he wasn't like them, because even though you didn't say explicitly why you needed a little extra care, he was more than prepared to give it to you. without even needing specific direction, he paid special attention to your reactions. to your body. he waited until you were ready, and asking him for more. and even when he sheepishly admitted that he'd started carrying a condom in his wallet the month prior, you could only giggle and silently be overwhelmingly thankful that he was truly nothing like any man you had ever been with before.
you swore you had made the same recipe you always did, but your curry tasted sweeter than you remembered. maybe it was just that you were eating it in your underwear with a man that made you feel comfortable in your skin for the first time in forever, a home improvement show remaining unwatched on your tv as the two of you joked together.
joshua woke the next morning in your empty bed, and was only confused for a second as he looked around your white walls. he stretched once, then sat up, eyes meandering over your orange patterned rug (one he remembered describing as "groovy" when he had first seen it, which had made you laugh in that way he adored), then noticed your laptop had been turned on. it was saturday, he realized, and you were likely going to edit today so you wouldn't have to tomorrow. he decidedly did not peek, though he wanted to, and peeked out your bedroom door instead.
you were easy to find, standing in your kitchen with an oversized shirt on and your hair pulled out of your face as you formed rice balls. you looked up from your work, smiling when you saw him, placing the triangle of rice you had just made on the cutting board. "good morning!"
it was, he thought. it was a really good morning.
you teased him for hugging you in your kitchen while he was only wearing underwear, saying that he seemed to have made himself comfortable quickly. he just playfully ran his hands under your shirt, saying, well, what about you, then? making breakfast with no pants on?
"i live here," you said, giggling and using your hip to bump him away. "i pay rent. what do you do?"
his eyes darted away from yours as he thought. "sit still, look pretty?"
that made you laugh. "you are very pretty."
he grinned, taking the opportunity to pull you into his chest again. "you, too."
he looked at what you had made, noticing the pot on the stove for the first time.
"soybean paste soup," you said, reacting to his gaze, then pointed at the neat triangles of brown tinted rice in front of you. "mushroom riceballs, and i'm making tamagoyaki next."
joshua blinked at you after processing everything. "do you do this every morning?"
"not every morning," you giggled. "but i wanted to today."
weeks later, you were biting your pinky nail to oblivion as you scrolled through comments on the video you had posted earlier that morning. you were sitting on the couch in joshua's living room, your laptop perched on the arm and your boyfriend fixing something to eat before the two of you sat to watch a movie. you had made a risky move in your video - one you thought would have been fine, but clearly people read more into it than you expected. joshua came over for dinner earlier in the week, when you had made pasta with all the delicious fresh seafood the two of you had found at a market the day before, accompanied by a simple salad and white wine. karol was working late, so you had set some aside for her, but that meant it was just you and joshua in frame when you filmed your usual table setting shot.
people were speculating.
you knew it was inevitable, and a few comments had pointed out the man that had eaten sushi with you in the vlog that included your first date, but at this point, the comments were flooded with questions and hypotheses on who the mystery man could be. most assumed boyfriend - which, while true, made you feel slightly annoyed - and a few wondered if he was your brother, or close friend, but they all noticed that his hands and voice had become regular guest stars on your channel. that, while you still got meals with krys and karol, this nameless, faceless man sat opposite you more often than anyone else.
the jeonju vlog is what sparked the most comments. people suspected some amount of intimacy when they realized this guy was travelling with you, too, and you probably would have thought the same if it had been someone you watched regularly. you had been careful with the editing, only including clips with food and the scenery shots that didn't star him (while you had filmed a lot that did, those were just for your own personal record), but you supposed it was in peoples' nature to try and find a romantic plotline in your slice of life.
"josh?" you said suddenly, pulling your pinky from between your teeth. you heard his vague noise of acknowledgment and spun around on the couch to watch as he cocked his head at you from the kitchen. "should we go public?"
"uh," he paused, looking at the scallion pancake he was cooking, quickly grabbing the panhandle to flip it. "give me, like, two minutes and we can discuss? i'm almost done in here."
you puffed your cheeks out and nodded, turning back towards your computer. "okay, baby."
when joshua came into the living room, the spread he had quickly put together across a tray you had bought for him (because you wanted it, mostly, but karol would kill you if you brought more home), he put it on the coffee table and sat next to you, quickly addressing the subject again.
"people keep," you paused. his eyebrows raised, prompting you, but he only chewed on his bottom lip to let you take your time as you hugged your knees to your chest. "people keep assuming you're my boyfriend anyways, so i'm just thinking-" you exhaled sharply. "should we just say fuck it? just confirm that we're a couple?"
joshua studied you. "you've always been pretty private."
you chewed your cheek, putting your lips against your knees. "that's on purpose."
"you don't have to say anything you don't want to," he reminded you, rubbing a hand against your back. you put your chin on your knees and gave him your biggest doe eyes, making him smile. "they can speculate all they want, but you don't owe them an explanation."
you nodded lightly as you hugged your legs and looked around, briefly studying the tray joshua had brought over. he had quickly stirfried some vegetables, grilled the frozen pork belly slices he always kept on hand, and even cooked your favorite premade scallion pancakes, the spread complete with several side dishes you had made together earlier in the week and two bowls of rice. your brows knit together, fingers itching to film how neatly he had put together a light meal for the two of you because you had said you wanted to show him your favorite movie without interruption, and he knew you would be hungry soon.
"would you-" you cleared your throat, looking up from the food and finding his eyes. "what do you think i should do?"
he let out a breathy laugh. "does it matter? you'll do what you want anyways."
you whined, pushing his shoulder as your feet dropped from the couch. "i'm serious, your opinion matters here. would you be okay with being public?"
"you're joking, right?" he laughed, adjusting his posture, and grabbing your hand to folding it between his. "baby, you know i care about you, right?"
your lips pursed as you nodded, looking between his eyes shyly.
"and you know i would never try to say that i, like, own you, right? like, i don't claim ownership over you as a person."
you let out a short laugh. "right."
he held your hand tighter. "i want to tell every viewer of every single one of your videos that you are mine."
your cheek puffed out as you smiled. "really?"
"especially the reply guys, oh my gosh," he rolled his eyes, making you laugh. "there's a place i think you'd like! i could take you, smiley face. yeah, get lost, creep. move along."
your palm landed on your cheek as you laughed. "shut up, are you serious?"
"you don't see those?" his eyes wide when you shook your head. "baby, there's so many people trying to take you out in the comments. so many."
you giggled, pressing your lips together. "well, there's only one guy that gets to."
"that's right," joshua said, a proud look on his face. "the ultimate reply guy fanboy."
you pushed his chest, laughing again. "shut up."
you decided an faq would do, but in the style of your regular videos. you definitely didn't want to just sit down in front of your camera and talk through questions and answers - that wasn't your style, and would feel wrong uploading. so instead, you spent a few hours compiling questions you had been asked often and organized them in a way that made sense, planning on showing your daily life. questions like what camera you used, what your go-to quick breakfast is, where you bought the clothes you liked - it was easy to plan them out to create a vague storyline of your standard day. you woke up on a wednesday (a day you went to the studio, because many of your questions were about what goes on there), excited to film but slightly nervous. as you set up your camera for breakfast, your phone buzzed on the counter.
joshie: good morning, baby! you got this! can't wait to see you tonight 🥰
you: 🥺🥺🥺 thank you!
the day went well, filming your planned clips on the subway and at the studio, and when your coworker asked what all the questions you were filming for were, you sighed.
"normal stuff," you said quickly, taking off your apron after several hours of cooking and shooting. "favorite recipes, what equipment i use… y'know."
yunhyeong nodded at you, his eyes squinting slightly. "is that all?"
he knew you. he knew how you reacted when you were nervous. how you could practically hide it from anyone, but that certain subjects would always make your eyes look slightly panicked and your speech speed up. the worst part is that you knew he knew, and your facade was almost immediately broken.
"and if i have a boyfriend."
he stared at you for a second before he laughed in disbelief. it took him over a week of bugging you about the guy in your videos before you admitted you were seeing someone, and even then, you only did because joshua had started picking you up from the studio and - against your wishes - introduced himself to your coworkers. yunhyeong thought about how protective you were of your privacy, and how you had never revealed something as personal as a relationship online before - partly because none of the people you had gone on two or three dates with had been serious enough to reveal, but he mostly thought about how you barely even showed your own face. that you stayed mostly silent when you filmed, and if you had to speak, it was a voice that was only adjacent to your usual cadence, as if you were trying to create another barrier between you and your online persona. how you had mourned your grandfather's passing and uploaded your vlog like normal two days later, but called out of work for the week following.
"and you're telling the truth?"
you exhaled, wiping down the stove top now that it had cooled. "yeah, shua and i discussed it. people are speculating, anyways, and it's not like he's going anywhere any time soon."
yunhyeong nodded again, organizing the spices as he put them away. "i'm happy for you."
you looked at him. "what do you mean?"
"it's a big step," he said, purposefully keeping his eyes from you so you didn't get self conscious. "you haven't been this serious about someone the entire time i've known you. i think it's really great that you found someone you care about."
you watched him spin bottles to be label out as you considered his words. "thanks."
he peeked at you, smiling. "of course."
yunhyeong's words rattled in your mind as you walked to the restaurant joshua had agreed to meet you at, filming your feet as you went with the intention of answering a few random questions with on-screen text in the edit. someone you care about.
you thought about how joshua had said the same thing about you when you had asked if going public was something he would be comfortable with. the way it has made your heart flutter. you wondered, briefly, if perhaps this was something more than just caring.
when you were editing the video that saturday, you procrastinated on the last question as long as you could, and when it was the only thing left to do, you escaped to the kitchen to make lunch in favor of finishing the part that was haunting you. your bagel sandwich was delicious, but you could barely enjoy it, mind clouded by the task that made your anxiety peak for seemingly no good reason.
it took you too long to finish it.
when you showed it to joshua, wanting his blessing before you uploaded, he couldn't hide his giddy reaction.
"it's okay?" you confirmed, studying his face.
he nodded at you, lips pushed together into a lopsided smile. "it's really cute."
"cute?" you asked, clicking through the video. "that's good, right?"
"yes," he laughed, squeezing your shoulder to put a kiss on your head. "it's great. post it."
so you did. and while you had gotten a tiny bump when krys excitedly dragged the two of you onto her stream that afternoon, you had no way of predicting the way the rest of the internet picked it up a few weeks later.
"r/relationshipgoals," jeonghan read off his phone, leaning against your kitchen island along with several of your friends that had come over when they saw the two of you on their newsfeeds unprompted. "'cross post from r/cutecouples, the most heartwarming boyfriend reveal you'll see this year.'"
"twitter, too," karol announced looking up from her own phone, seated in a barstool beside him. "you're a twitter moment. people found the clip from krys' stream, even."
you were on the counter opposite them, kicking your feet nervously to the beat in your head as you chewed your lip. you sighed and covered your face. "how long is this gonna last?"
"a while, hopefully," krys said, turning your laptop screen towards you. "your subcounts are insane right now."
you whined into your hands, making joshua appear at your side to put a hand on your spine. you took a breath at the touch, relaxing your tensed thighs on the counter. "it's okay to be nervous," he muttered at you. "but it's also kinda exciting, right?"
you exhaled deeply, letting your hands fall and your eyes trail to his before a smile broke on your face. "kinda."
so after you calmed yourself down, you managed to go through some of the posts about you, and you surprised yourself by letting them put a smile on your face. even the idea of having a public relationship had scared you shitless less than a month prior, but this… this wasn't so bad. seeing twitter repost the same video of you filming your feet as you walked into a restaurant, panning the camera up to reveal joshua sitting at a table and waving excitedly at you. the cuts you made to show clips that had landed on the cutting room floor of past videos - the footage you had taken of him pointing out the new wok you had started using a few weeks prior in a kitchen specialty store, and the goofy face he revealed after holding it in front of himself as he brought it back to you. the video of joshua grasping your hand, panning up to his playfully serious face as he dragged you down a boardwalk in jeonju, gesturing to the sunset. the unedited audio from your first date, when you had said something about it looking really good, and he had said something along the lines of how it would have been a waste if you hadn't recorded, and the two of you giggled together in a way that nervous new couples did. short bits of you swinging your camera around to reveal a laughing joshua as you tried to film quiet shots. a clip of him wearing a triangular menu on his head like a hat, acting as though it was completely normal.
you had a hard time believing anything you ever did would be viral-worthy, but even you had to admit, this was a pretty understandable thing for you to go viral for.
besides, it felt like it made sense for this to be the one thing about your personal life that ended up getting attention. it felt like he was an innate part of you at this point, and that you wouldn't be honest if you hid him.
it was august when he broke your heart.
"how could you?" you asked him, staring in disbelief. "you haven't seen lord of the rings?"
"okay, i lied," joshua said, still washing the dishes. "i saw them when i was a kid, but i don't remember them really."
"well, we're fixing that."
he looked at where you were sitting on his kitchen island - a well known habit of yours at this point. "today?"
"not today," you said, poking your toe at his hip. "this weekend, maybe? if we start now, we'll be watching til you go to work tomorrow morning."
he shut off the faucet and gingerly placed the pan he had just washed on the drying rack. "how many movies is it? i thought it was just three."
"it is," you said, laughing at his shocked look. "the extended editions are around four hours each."
joshua exhaled, leaning against the counter as he used a cloth to dry his hands. "you're lucky i like wasting hours with you."
you grinned, hopping down from your seat. "you're lucky i let you."
and that weekend, the two of you did just that - waste time, ordering delivery food for two meals as you camped out on the couch in various positions as the two of you got comfortable repeatedly. you couldn't help but recite specific lines, mouthing along with every word gandalf said like you had thought of the words yourself. you pointed out behind the scenes facts along the way, even, excitedly saying viggo broke two toes when he kicked that helmet, or how faramir's flames were a mirror trick. joshua watched you, because while he knew it was your favorite movie and he really should pay attention, he couldn't help but get distracted by his own favorite movie, and it starred you getting excited about something you loved.
you slept later than joshua that sunday, and when you emerged from the bedroom, you spotted krys sitting at the island with a plate of waffles in front of her, then found joshua leaned against the counter with a cup of coffee. he smiled when he saw you.
"i made breakfast," he said, gesturing to the counter.
you looked around at the spread as you walked over to him. waffles, fruit, bacon, and the promise of a fried egg upon request - a spread worthy of your own brunching standards. "what about second breakfast?" you asked quietly, in accented english.
joshua laughed, his arm wrapping around your midsection as you came over to kiss him good morning. "elevensies?" he shot back, in the same vague accent.
you broke your serious face to giggle. "luncheon?"
"alright," krys said, voice raised in annoyance when the two of you looked over at her. "i get it, y'all are in love or whatever, but can you have some respect for those of us who are lonely?"
you rolled your eyes, laughing at the fact that she had absolutely brought this upon herself by forcing the two of you together every chance she got, but joshua went cold when he heard her say the thing he had been thinking for a while, but was too scared to say out loud. the thing he felt when you grabbed his arm and told him that if he wouldn't let you carry the ring, then you could at least carry him with all the same dramatics as one samwise gamgee did. when you cried as frodo and bilbo sailed into the sunset for good, even though you had seen it a million times over. the sneaking thought that he was in love with you, but didn't know how to say so. he swallowed down the thought, shaking his head when you raised a questioning brow at him as you dished up a plate of waffles and fruit.
it didn't take you long to trust joshua enough to give him your door code so he could let himself in, but it took him a while to actually use it. he said something about not wanting to intrude, but you told him it was more intrusive to make you come to the door when you could possibly be doing important things and he was completely capable of getting in on his own.
"babe?"
you hissed. you had the thought right before you started this boss battle, that he would arrive before you finished and you would be trapped at your computer. you were right. "in here! gimme like two minutes!"
you heard him enter your room, and his bubbly laugh when he spotted your back at your desk desperately clicking your mouse and striking your keyboard. "wow, is this what you meant by important things?"
"please, please, please," you whined, intermittently squealing as you reacted to the enemy attacks. "i'll get off in a second i just need one more cleansing heart to ascend xin- fuck! not the stupid birds!"
he laughed again, his hand finding the back of your shoulder, thumbs pressing into the constantly sore flesh. you winced as he kneaded his fingers into your shoulder but exhaled, making him laugh lightly when you got knocked over by a boar. "hey, there's a boar there."
"yes, thank you, joshua." you quickly cracked a knuckle as soon as you had down time, sticking your neck out as he continued to massage your shoulders. "i think i have two more waves."
"waves? because it's a water level?"
you groaned into a reluctant laugh. "no shitty jokes right now, i'm trying to focus. normally krys and i co-op this one but she was busy."
he hummed, moving to stand next to you with his hand resting at the base of your neck. "wonder what she was doing."
"don't you live with her?" you teasingly asked, glancing up at him for the first time while sprinting across the platform, your game camera spinning uncontrollably when you suddenly pulled both hands to your mouth and gasped. "what the fuck, joshua?"
he stifled a grin, but it was completely obvious in his eyes as you stared up at him, blonde hair curled lightly to stay out of his face. "what's up?"
you stood from your chair, inspecting his head. "what the fuck?"
he laughed, wrapping his arms around you when you ran your fingers through his bleached locks hesitantly. "do you hate it?"
"i-" you blinked at him repeatedly. "what? no, i don't hate- what the fuck, joshua?"
"what?" he whined, eyebrows tenting at you even though his lips were still smiling. "does it not suit me?"
you held his head and squinted at him. "josh, you're hot. you look hot. but what the fuck?"
he laughed, finally planting his hello kiss on your lips. he watched the gears turn behind your eyes, puckered lips becoming a pout.
"did you go to a salon?"
he grinned. "krys did it."
you made a fist at him, scrunching your face for a second as you exhaled, looking down at the screen right as your last team member died, respawning at a statue. "that's why she used so many smiley faces when she said she was busy."
he put his lips to your cheek, smiling into your skin. "not bad though, right? you got a pretty handsome boyfriend."
and while you would have loved to roll your eyes and tease him, you were overtaken by a giggle as you turned your head towards him again, the tip of his nose gliding across your cheek. "yeah, i do."
his eyebrows went up. "wow, wasn't expecting you to admit it so readily."
you laughed, a light, carefree laugh, your palms on his jaw as you kissed him. "i have eyes, joshua." he just smiled against your lips, lacing his fingers together behind your tailbone, and you pulled away slightly to look up at his hair again. your hands went to his nape, fingertips against his scalp. "how long did it take? you have thick hair."
"we did three sessions," he said. "enjoy it while you can, it might fall out."
you laughed with him, brushing your fingers gently in his bangs again. "it feels fine, though?"
"yeah, i made this incredible discovery that i'm almost positive i'm the first to hear about it. it's called a hair treatment."
you batted at his chest, giggling. "shut up."
"make me," he said, the sweet smile on his lips making the phrase more playful than suggestive.
"i can't believe you surprised me with bleached hair," you said, plopping into your seat and exiting the game. "you know i hate surprises, right?"
"that's too bad," he said, his hand returning to rub against your neck. "i like surprises a lot. get used to them."
you puffed out your cheeks, sighing slowly. "usually people compromise."
"not on this," he stated. "i'm a gift giver."
"yeah, i figured that out when you got flowers sent to the studio on our one month anniversary, then again on our second, then here on our third…"
he was just smiling smugly at you when you stood again, maneuvering around him. "and you love getting them?"
you rolled your eyes, not even commenting when he playfully patted your butt as you went by. "they're always tasteful and it's nice to have some seasonal flowers for the counter."
"so you love them," he repeated. "because it sounds to me like you love them."
you laughed, reaching out to catch his hand in yours and pull him along with you as you exited to the main living area. "and what if i do? so what, joshua hong, if it makes my heart beat a little fast when we suddenly get flowers delivered and i realize it's the fourteenth? are you gonna call me a hypocrite because i vocally advocate that traditional chivalry is bullshit?"
he just listened to your playful accusation, more proving that you were self aware rather than egging him on. "no way," he said plainly. "you can still think traditional chivalry is bullshit, it won't stop me from trying to make you smile."
you felt your face heating up, your jaw dropping slightly to let out an annoyed huff. "cheesy, joshua. i'm offended."
"want me to make it worse?" he asked, wrapping his arms around your waist.
your hands landed on his chest as you squinted at his grin. "i'm scared."
he gave you a crooked grin. "happy one hundred days. i brought sushi."
your head whipped over to the counter, spotting the paper bag with a familiar logo. "from nori table?"
"of course, from nori table."
joshua had promised jeonghan that you would make an appearance as a couple at a party he was throwing the next day, and you found yourself almost nervous. you got on with jeonghan famously - almost enough to drive joshua insane - and you even warmed up to seokmin pretty quickly, but from what you had been told, jeonghan enjoyed partying, and you didn't really like getting drunk.
"you made it!" seokmin grinned big, spreading his arms to signal for you to let him wrap you in a hug. you laughed and greeted him, enjoying the friendly comfort, then watching him hug joshua after he let you go. "and you're blonde! life's good?"
"yeah," joshua said, making eye contact with you briefly as his fingers tangled with yours. "life's good. you?"
seokmin blinked before he said "yeah, good!" and your brow knit slightly before you consciously adjusted your face to hide the analysis of his hesitation happening behind your eyes. "this is your first time here, right?"
you nodded, smiling and following him as he led you into the crowded apartment. "yeah, it's been busy lately. but i finally made it to one!"
"well, you need to meet my friends," he said, continuously looking back at you even as he walked ahead, towards a corner of the living room. "you're gonna love them."
"aye, josh!"
you looked to the source of the call, spotting the guy pulling himself to his feet from his seat on the couch, arms wide in greeting to your boyfriend.
"hey, hosh," joshua said, a sideways grin on and his brows tented as he gave him a quick handshake into a hug. quickly, he put a hand on your opposite shoulder, pulling you towards him and quickly introducing you.
soonyoung initially went in for a hug after your introduction, but immediately noticed the way your eyes widened slightly and instantly pulled his arms down, leaving a hand extended for you to shake. you laughed, taking it, and apologized for not being a hugger.
"no worries," soonyoung laughed, and you wondered if he was always this pink in the face or if he had already started drinking. "seokmin will hug me, right?"
"everyone!" seokmin ignored him, pulling you towards the people gathered on and around the couch. he announced you to his friends then quickly went down the line - soonyoung, seungkwan, jihoon, dongmin, yugyeom - you repeated the names back to him like you would remember all of them, even though you knew you wouldn't unless they became regulars in your life, too.
jeonghan flitted by and expressed his greetings to you both some time later, intending to abscond with joshua for drinks and conversation elsewhere, but he stopped jeonghan from pulling him away before he put a hand on your elbow, looking at you meaningfully.
"i'll be okay," you told him, smiling. "go ahead."
he squinted at you. "you sure?"
"seokmin's here," you reminded him, nodding your head at the boy you had practically adopted as your own brother. "real quick, about soonyoung-"
he quirked an eyebrow at you. "what about him?"
you chewed your lip, smiling. "karol's been a little too focused on work lately, right?"
his eyes widened, thinking about your roommate. his eyes went to the man you had referenced, who was currently chanting something into seungkwan's face as he rolled his eyes. "karol?"
"what do you think?" you asked, looking back at soonyoung.
he blinked. "i think he'll drive her insane."
your eyes shone at him. "i think she'll love it."
he laughed incredulously, registering that you had asked his opinion instead of just doing whatever pleased you, and he wondered if that meant you trusted him. "you're right," he said finally. "try it."
"of course i'm right," you said, giggling against the quick peck he put on your lips. "remove him, jeonghan."
"finally," an impatient host shot back, rolling his eyes in a way that landed in a sly smile at you. "for what it's worth, i think your plan will work."
"didn't need your approval, but i'll take it," you said, smiling smugly at him. "i'll update you later."
the update you gave the next time you saw him, weeks later, was that karol had left the apartment every week since to go be with soonyoung somewhere fun and exciting, and you waved her off with a shiteating grin every week, culminating in the two of them arriving to krys' birthday party hand in hand.
jeonghan laughed, stealing a carrot stick from your cutting board as you arranged them into a rainbow themed charcuterie platter. "knew it. soonyoung loves women stronger than him."
you looked at him as he took a bite. "and karol loves someone she can take care of."
"look at us," he said, waving the half eaten carrot between the two of you with a lopsided grin on his face. "what a duo. we should hang out more. fuck joshua."
you laughed at him, then at the offended look on your boyfriend's face as he walked past. "now?" you asked eyebrows raised as you looked at him expectantly, and he laughed when he realized what the last words out of jeonghan's mouth were seconds before.
"please, this is a child's birthday party," he reminded you, and you laughed at the overexaggerated look he gave you to sell the joke.
you looked over to where krys was laughing with seokmin, soonyoung, and karol, then back down to your work as you nudged around quartered figs with a vague smile on. "seems like the kids are having a nice time."
jeonghan sighed, falling dramatically against the counter. "oh, to be young and in love."
joshua laughed. "karol's our age."
his cheek was planted in his palm, elbow on the counter as he gazed after the group. "i'm talking about seokmin and krys."
"what?" joshua asked, voice nearly cracking, and you let out an explosive laugh. "seokmin and who?"
"stop acting stupid," jeonghan waved ahand at him, then popping his eyes up to catch your look of solidarity. he pointed at you. "see? we're on the same page, which means we're right."
joshua looked at you and you raised your hands in surrender. "are you serious?" he asked. "my sister and-"
you landed a hand on his face, effectively shutting him up as you giggled. "shush, josh. just leave it, okay?"
"good idea," jeonghan sighed, straightening and picking up the platter you had finished. "dining table?"
"please," you responded, looking back and giggling when joshua looked just as dumbfounded as he had before you looked away. "she's an adult. seokmin's a good guy. let it happen."
he closed his mouth, stealing a glance at his sister. "he is a kindergarten teacher."
"and both your best friend and your partner love him," you reminded him. "she could do worse."
he gave you a look. "she has done worse."
"shut up," you said, pushing his shoulder in your friend's defense. "you've done pretty bad, too."
his eyes went to the ceiling, remembering the accidental altercation you had been forced to have with one of his more regrettable exes. "how many times do i have to apologize-"
"you don't," you laughed, putting your hands on his cheeks and focusing his eyes on yours. "but krys is an adult. she's allowed to judge her own partners, and even if she ends up being wrong, she's old enough to make her own mistakes."
joshua huffed, knowing you were right but not wanting to admit it. "sorry i'm trying to protect my one and only baby sister."
"yes, and you're adorable," you assured him. "best big brother ever. but it's her birthday, and if you don't start getting drunk soon, she'll be very upset."
drinking with joshua was fun. because he wasn't much different than yourself - he didn't get crazy, he didn't get loud. he just got loose. he let stupider jokes out, and he was more willing to join in on krys' performative comedy bits throughout the night. you found yourself falling onto a couch with him, giggling as he caught his breath after a particularly involved musical number.
the most fun you had drinking with joshua was in itaewon, long past midnight but still what you considered halloween. you had been dragging karol with you for years, but now you had a boyfriend, and she had a boyfriend, and you both had a new joint best friend, so it only made sense for you to get them all take the train ride out to your favorite part of seoul.
ratatouille. that was the only way you could get joshua to go with you. he wanted a couples costume and he wanted you to be the rat.
"this feels backhanded," you told him.
"do you want to be linguine?" he asked. "i can be sexy remy. i can find grey hot pants, but you have to be the one to attach the the tail because i have no idea what my butt looks like."
you laughed, resigning to your fate and buying the outfit online, then looked at him suddenly. "liar. i know you check yourself out at the gym."
"okay," he said, eyes on the ceiling as he herded a giggling you into his arms. "then… i want it to be accurate, so you need to attach it directly at my tailbone." he cocked his head at you after you settled into the hug. "i have to be wearing them, obviously."
"obviously," you said. "but unfortunately, i already ordered the body suit."
josh pressed his lips together and made a quick fist in victory. "awesome. i-i mean! aww, well, that's fine, i suppose." he sighed dramatically, convincing absolutely no one that he hadn't wanted this outcome all along. "i'll be linguine."
"i don't feel like fighting a bunch of gays in itaewon for your affection anyways," you said, making him laugh and kiss your cheek quickly before pulling away.
"grilled cheese?"
"is that even a question?"
it wasn't a question when you were weaving through throngs of bunnies and angels, either, holding hands with both him and his sister to not lose them in the crowd, karol and soonyoung trailing behind krys, all five of you on a mission to get carbs in you after starting the night off nearly too strong.
halloween in itaewon was different. it was special, you thought. you usually didn't like crowds, but this one felt good. halloween wasn't a celebrated holiday in korea, but with internet, influencers, and immigrants, the culture found its way into the new age scene. you loved an excuse to celebrate your favorite characters by paying them homage, and joshua had thought that was a noble enough reason for him to justify staying up too late and drinking too much.
you had just left the diner themed bar that you devoured griddle top sandwiches from, as well as another drink, and you spotted a familiar angel making a beeline for you.
well, not you.
"how many times have i tried to get you to come to itaewon with me?" jeonghan asked, pushing joshua's shoulder as soon as he could reach it.
joshua laughed, looking shocked by the sudden appearance of his friend. "you never agreed to be remy!"
jeonghan looked at you, and burst into laughter, making your jaw drop in indignance and whacking your fist against both their arms. "at least we're original. way to put in the effort, han."
he shrugged bringing a straw to his mouth, and you eyed the pink liquid that had clearly been funnelled into a water bottle. "i look better than all these clowns and you know it."
"there you are!"
jeonghan spun, the straw still in his mouth. "shit, i haven't lost you?"
seokmin gave him a sarcastic laugh, adjusting the shoulder of his soccer jersey as he walked up behind him, quickly adding to your small circle as he greeted you and joshua. you stepped aside suddenly, revealing the members of your party that had been lagging behind. "o-oh! it's all of you!"
you made brief eye contact with joshua, who was trying to not laugh at your less than subtle attempt. "you match!" you said quickly, pointing out that krys was dressed as a baseball player. "baseball, soccer," you trailed off, looking around for help.
"sports couple," jeonghan said loudly, slipping you a quick look. "cute."
soonyoung had to put his entire palm over his mouth to stop himself from exploding into giggles when seokmin went red in the ears and krys tried to change the subject as kindly as she could manage.
when you finally made it back into joshua's room, it was far too late (early? you could think about it more, but you preferred resigning to the fact that the passage of time was beyond you and moving on), the sun already starting to light the sky as it prepared to break the horizon. when you stole his toque of his head, he put his hand on your waist, backing you up against the closet door and gently working his lips onto yours.
you giggled, your arms landing on his shoulders. "aren't you tired?
"yeah, but," his eyes fluttering over your face. "i just really like you."
you were smiling when he pressed his lips to yours again. "i really like you, too, but we've been at a sweaty block party all night and we need to shower."
"together?" he asked, a spot of childish hope in his voice. "singular shower?"
you sighed on his lips, playfully threading your fingers against his nape. "if you want?"
the hot water felt especially good after trekking home in the cold without a jacket. and even though it was just meant to be a shower, he kept kissing you like it was something more, pressing you against the tiled wall and running his hands all over your shape. you couldn't stop giggling. pushing his hands away, saying you need to wash up, but giving him looks like you wanted him to keep going. you were running your hands over his chest, rinsing away suds, when joshua couldn't help but put a hand at the base of your neck, tipping your head slightly to deepen an already heated kiss.
"cut it out," you muttered against his lips, feeling them curve despite your eyes staying shut.
"cut what out?"
you looked at him, barely processing anything other than how incredibly handsome he was, even with his lashes stuck together with moisture and his hair slicked back against his head. "trying to fuck me in a shower stall."
he laughed teasingly, leaning into you again. "then why'd you agree to come in here with me?"
your back hit the tile again, and you giggled. "to save water."
and then he's kissing you again, a hand steady on your nape as he worked you open, tongue lapping against yours with a desperation that could only mean one thing. you whimpered dumbly, the squeaky whine escaping you with no difficulty as your hands ran up his chest, your grip longing for any amount of him you could get.
his lips leave you abruptly, asking if this was too much. if you wanted to stop. but you shook your head at him, hands eager to feel more of his shoulders, his neck, his scalp, despite your legs starting to give out. steam drifted between you when you told him your legs felt like jello from your full shift of partying, and if he didn't want to hold you up, you should probably take this to bed.
you were giggling as you frantically dried each other off, stealing kisses that were far too deep to be so short and longing touches that could have been interpreted as purposeful drying if you squinted hard enough, but felt much more like careful teasing. his hands felt right running up your body, and your hair was still damp, but that didn't bother either of you when you fell into bed together.
"i cant believe you want to fuck me when i was dressed like a literal rat," you teased.
he laughed, tugging your thigh up on his hip as his nose nuzzled against yours. "a sexy rat."
you giggled, lips parting when he kissed you. "a rat from a pixar movie."
he didn't miss a beat. "a sexy rat from a pixar movie."
you roll your damn eyes at him, and he just laughs, knowing that it mattered very little what you were wearing before, because now you were bare, clean, and safe in his bed, which was exactly where he wanted you for the rest of forever.
the sun was past its peak when you woke, stretching your sore spine and legs with joshua's arm draped over you. his hand seemed to wake before he did, finding your hip and squeezing gently as he took in his signature first breath of the day.
"g'morning." you smiled at his soft voice as he squinted at you, and you rolled into him to plant a kiss on his lips.
"it's almost two," you said finally.
he groaned, burying his face in the pillow. "too early." his grip around you tightened, making you giggle. "nap time."
you whined. "i wanna make coffee before it gets too late."
"i said nap time," he muttered, face still against the pillow.
"baby, i have a headache."
his head popped up, squinting at the bedside. "there's water."
you laughed incredulously. "i need caffeine."
he just pulled you tighter. "i need you here."
"wow," you said, wrapping your arms around him as he snuggled into your chest. "would rather i suffer from a caffeine headache for your own selfish need to cuddle than let me escape for two minutes to make a coffee and come back?"
he smiled, rubbing his cheek against your sternum. "mhmm."
you giggled, carding your fingers through his hair and resigning to a few more precious moments of uninterrupted snuggling before you could relieve the vague aching in your temples.
he did eventually let you slip out of his grasp, and you asked if he wanted a coffee, too, to which he just blearily blinked at you and nodded once. you laughed, finding a shirt in a drawer and pulling it over your head before exiting to the kitchen.
you hit the kettle first, having a craving for a hot cup of coffee rather than the usual iced, grabbing a mug and glass from a cabinet. the espresso machine sat on the long counter against the windowed outer wall, and your eyes danced across the outside world as you made the two coffees. when you returned to the bedroom, joshua was on his phone, and when you cleared your throat, he dropped his phone on the pillow and pretended to be asleep, complete with a loud snore.
you giggled, sitting on the edge of the bed and nudging him carefully. "get up or i'll put the glass on your neck."
he winced at the idea. "evil," he stated plainly, flopping around to comfortably sit up and taking the iced coffee from you.
you sipped your coffee and put it on the bedside table to swing your feet back under the covers. you shoved at the pillows to support your back as you sat, grabbing your coffee and phone to begin your weekend morning routine of checking the news as you sipped at an americano. "i brought you coffee in bed at two pm. i think i'm pretty saintly."
he gave you a fake laugh, making you giggle and push your foot against his leg under the covers in a half hearted kick. "is that why you said 'oh, god' so much last night?"
you groaned. "gross, joshua. and for the record," you said, eyeing him slyly as a smile broke out on your lips. "that was this morning."
"time is an illusion," he declared, taking a gulp from his coffee and setting it down to get more comfortable beside you as you began to read an article. "are we doing anything today?"
you shook your head, eyes still focused on your screen. "nada."
"nothin'?" joshua fished.
"zilch," you concluded.
"rad," he decided, a light tone in his voice as he grabbed his phone to resume whatever he had been doing before you returned. "do you wanna order breakfast?"
you let out a breath, your head falling back as you looked at him. "yes, oh my god."
he laughed, and his eyes ran over your face in a way you recognized well at this point. to you, it was him just smiling back at you, and you liked that it reached his eyes. but to him, it was the way he looked at you when he was memorizing all the little reasons he adored you, and it was getting harder for him to pretend it wasn't more than just simple adoration.
"question," he started, eyes darting away from yours as he licked his suddenly dry lips and swallowed quickly.
"pasta," you said immediately, pulling your phone to your chest as you gave him your biggest, most convincing eyes before a finger came up to demonstrate a point. "and before you say that's not a breakfast food, i would like to remind you that it is 2pm and i had to sit through a hundred of your italian food puns yesterday despite ratatouille being set in france."
he laughed, and you gave him a confused look. "we can get pasta, but that wasn't the question."
your eyebrow quirked. "what other question could you possibly ask me right now?"
unknowingly, joshua let his face settle into the same look he was giving you less than a minute earlier. "would you want to move in?"
your eyes ran over his face repeatedly, trying to register how serious he was as you considered the idea of staying in this comforting bed and presence for the indefinite future, and even you couldn't hide how nice that sounded. the only thing stopping you was that you couldn't bear to leave karol alone. you had been living together for over four years now, she had been your first roommate in korea, your best friend for years, and an inexplicable source of quiet but understanding comfort for you.
"i understand," joshua assured you, placing his hand over yours after you expressed your hesitation. "i don't know what i'll do with myself when krys decides to move out."
you nodded, studying his face but mind wandering to other things. "krys," you hummed, and he eyed you.
"what genius plan is that brain brewing?"
you shook your head, brushing the thought out of your mind - the thought that krys had said something about needing to find a new place soon. the thought that she had said she was never gonna properly grow up when josh was taking care of her, whether she wanted him to or not. "nothing."
but it wasn't nothing. it was a compromise - you and krys would swap leases.
"are you sure?" you asked her, elbows on the island as krys ate the donuts you had anxiously made that morning. you had brought up the idea to her days before, and she excitedly agreed, but something about it felt too easy to you.
"yes," she assured you, wiping her bottom lip clear of powdered sugar. "i swear, i'm sure. how many times do i have to say it?"
you chewed your cheek. "i don't want you to feel like i'm kicking you out."
"you're not kicking me out," she said matter of factly. "i'm moving out. it just happens to be the same day as you're moving in."
you pouted. "and you're moving into my apartment."
"yeah," she said, nodding. "i get to pay lower rent and have south facing windows in my room. i should feel bad about kicking you out."
it took almost a month to organize everything, but by early december you were just waiting for the date. you purposefully scheduled for a weekend, in order to not disrupt krys' streaming schedule and your video uploads, since you had planned to do a separate moving vlog about safely packing tableware. the weekend before, krys came over to her soon-to-be home for your usual monthly brunch.
flipping pancakes that day felt a little somber, knowing it was the last time you'd be cooking brunch while living with karol. you had been with her for four years, and it felt surreal that you were finally parting ways like this. not only that, but you were moving in with a guy. the idea itself scared the shit out of you - cohabitating with someone other than karol. you'd be sharing a room. sharing a kitchen. sharing all of your space - normally, that would scare you away from agreeing, but something about joshua made you feel safe. he made you feel like you would never try to get back the distance you generally held so dear.
months ago, the idea of sharing space like that while trying to decompress would be unimaginable, but recently, you found alone time with joshua just as healing as alone time with yourself, so the idea of being able to snuggle into his side every night actually put a warm feeling in your stomach. you looked at your friends, who were laughing and drinking bloody marys as you tried to keep up with their conversation. your brain swirled, and you looked back down at the strawberries you were cutting, suddenly realizing you had never felt that way about a boy before.
"woah, you okay, babe?" krys bobbed her head downwards to check your face. "are you crying? i thought only onions did that to you."
you threw your head back, sniffling noisily trying to force the tears back under your ducts. karol stood. "oh, my god, what's wrong?" she frantically put down her drink and rushed around the counter to your side.
"wait, yeah-" krys shook her head rapidly, then reached over to take the knife out of your hand, her face creasing into a worried pout. "what's going on?"
you gathered yourself, embarrassed at how quickly you had cried so hard over such a stupid realization. you almost laughed, realizing what a scene you were making. you never cried. you weren't even sure either of them had seen it before now, yet you were ugly sobbing over something that they all probably already knew.
you swallowed harshly, clearing your throat. "i think i'm in love with josh."
krys and karol always knew you didn't truly care about the gender of your hypothetical partner, but that you had avoided men for a reason other than your attraction to them. they knew you gravitated towards women for practically your entire friendships with either of them, they knew that you never liked to get genuinely drunk and instead took care of the rest of them, and they knew you had never been very interested in sex. these were all known facts about you, and your friends understood that you kept the reasons for these facts close to your chest. they respected that.
but you finally wanted to share why. and the why was your ex.
when you had imagined telling your closest friends about your trauma, this certainly wasn't the situation you expected - crowded around the kitchen counter as your pancakes went cold, and only because you had burst into tears. it wasn't the right place, you thought, for you to talk about how he got you drunk. how you were practically asleep. how you tried to push him away but your body was weak with intoxication and you were powerless against him. someone you trusted. someone you loved.
you had always been the type to fight your own battles. you could stand up for yourself without difficulty, yet he made you scared of men. of what they could do to you. he reminded you that despite your effort to air on the androgynous, you had a body that some people might enjoy against your will. he made you want to hide everything about you and your body, wearing baggy shirts and oversized hoodies every chance you got, avoiding the unwanted gaze of men.
but recently, you've been wearing shorts more. you cropped some old shirts you never got use out of anymore to wear to your weekly yoga class. you had even bought a schoolgirl outfit for exactly one purpose, which had been entirely out of your comfort zone until roughly two months prior, but you had happily worn to please a man.
but in your defense, joshua hong was not like most men.
his appreciation of your body never felt predatory, and it always felt like it was bested by his appreciation of your mind. he didn't treat you like a prize, or like you were his for the taking. he appreciated your body as yours. while you may have found yourself the subject of his desire, you were never an object, and it had been a long time since you had felt comfortable wearing the clothes you liked in favor of opting for whatever would hide the most skin.
krys was crying. karol was too, but she was more focused on hugging you tight as you wiped off the tears that had trailed down your face. krys rounded the counter, loudly vocalising how much she loved you and everything about you, and you laughed out loud as she let out an exaggerated wail.
"actually, though," she said, pulling away slightly and sniffling. "drop the address. we're rolling up on this guy tomorrow."
you laughed again, wiping at your face when your arms were free. "wouldn't even know where to find him now."
"good!" karol declared. "fuck that guy! cut him out! you're a bad bitch!"
krys pouted. "i'm really happy josh helped you heal."
you stared at her for a second, registering that she must have been right. you eyes swam over the counter, thinking about all the times he had helped you feel more comfortable with yourself. with everything. enough to let someone in. enough to love. "i guess that's what this is, huh?"
karol cleared her throat. "so, you love him."
a grin broke out on krys' face, and your eyes immediately rolled. "you love him."
"you love him so bad."
"you wanna marry him and make adorable little hong babies."
"oh my god," you said, pressing the backs of your hands into your eye sockets, annoyed laughter on your lips as they bounced off each other. "you guys suck."
joshua started acting… odd. that was the only way you could describe it. there was nothing specific you could name - maybe the way his eyes were moving slightly too quickly from side to side? or maybe it was the way he inhaled a little extra when you asked him what was up, only for him to push his lips into an exaggerated pout and insist that nothing was. whatever it was, it made you watch him a little bit longer, your eyes squinting slightly more than usual.
you called him the day before, asking if you could bring some stuff over in hopes of making the next day as easy as possible, but his response was quick and surprising.
"what do you mean, no?" you laughed, putting down the wooden tray you were deciding the fate of. "do you have a girl over?"
you could hear him faltering on the other end. "and what if i did?"
"good luck getting her to make you breakfast."
he laughed. "i'm kidding. i have a guy over."
"oh?" you asked. "jeonghan?"
"shut up," he chuckled out. "i'm having something installed, but it was supposed to be a surprise."
"joshua," you reminded him, thinking of what the hell he could have meant by something. "i don't do surprises."
"you do now."
you groaned, a palm landing on your counter. "what is it?"
"a sex swing," he said plainly, as though that were the most obvious fact that you could have questioned, and you practically choked on your laughter, not even letting him confirm that he was joking before you were folded over your counter. and quite frankly, you could not wait another day to let him make you laugh like that as a routine.
you finally seceded, but you were glad when joshua arrived - the suv he rented loaded with krys' things - because it was a signifier that the distance between you and said surprise was shrinking quickly. soonyoung had become a surprisingly helpful voice of reason as you went through your piles of tablewares, telling you which ones to leave behind and which ones to take with you. seokmin had even arrived not long after the suv in his own car, a few brightly colored belongings in his backseat. you and karol exchanged a look when you realized he had volunteered to help krys move, but said nothing out loud, knowing she would do nothing but deny the obvious.
after yours and krys' affects were swapped in the car, you looked around one last time before telling josh you thought that was it.
"wait!" krys faltered, realizing she didn't have a good reason to stop you. "i- uh,"
"they know there's a surprise waiting for them," he said, digging the rental keys out of his jacket pocket.
karol looked to you. "do you know what it is?"
"of course not," joshua stated proudly before you could respond. "i'm like a steel trap."
you laughed. "that's definitely not how that phrase is meant to be used."
he raised a brow at you. "that doesn't change the fact that you could never get that info out of me."
"they absolutely could," karol said.
"for sure," krys agreed.
"i just wanted to let you have this," you admitted.
joshua looked between the three of you with his jaw slightly dropped, and seokmin put a hand over his mouth while crossing his arms to disguise the almost laugh on his lips.
"well, i want to see your reaction," krys decided. "so i'm coming."
"wait," soonyoung asked, putting down the retro boombox he had been investigating, among the other things that had been brought from the loft. "like, the surprise?"
"does everyone know about this but me?" you asked, hands hitting your sides in exasperation.
seokmin looked at you with wide, confused eyes. "i don't."
you lifted your hands in a vague prayer towards him. "thank you for your solidarity."
"i wanna see your face, too!" soonyoung said, ignoring you both. "you're gonna freak."
"joshua," you started, turning to him with a look of dread on your face. "what the fuck did you get?"
"i told you!" he exclaimed. "a sex swing!"
there was an excruciatingly long second of silence, making your palm land directly on your face - just above your eye - before seokmin let out a surprised, "a what?"
"he's kidding," you announced, much to the teacher's relief. "and if he's not we're breaking up."
it was decided that the entire party would move to the loft for the surprise reveal, and you watched your friends pile into seokmin's car with your palms sweating slightly and your molars gently gnawing at the fleshy party of your cheek. because, truly, you didn't handle receiving gifts well when you knew what they were, but you didn't have a single clue as to what could be waiting for you in your new home, and that made you a little nervous to have an audience for your possibly piss poor reaction.
joshua's hand found yours on the drive to the apartment. "you okay?"
you blinked and looked over at him, his eyes catching yours between glances at the road. "i don't do surprises."
"so you've said," he nodded. his fingers squeezed at yours lightly and you exhaled. "do you want to know before we go in? you can just act surprised."
your felt your face soften, registering what he was offering you. "joshua, you don't have to do that-"
"i know," he said. "but if it makes you more comfortable, then…"
"no way," you said. "i'll just stop being a baby. you set up a surprise, the least i can do is participate the way you want me to."
he eyed you, then the way you laced your fingers with his. "but you are a baby."
you rolled your eyes. "shut up, no i'm not."
"my baby," he clarified, and you let out an involuntary giggle.
he was guiding you into the kitchen, his large hands placed over your eyes and covering most of your face by proxy, and you didn't quit your playful complaints for the crowd of your closest friends that had gathered around, their presence obvious despite your vision being impaired.
"ready?" joshua asked.
"josh, i literally hate surprises, do we have to do all this?"
"yes," he said frankly. "because i'm doing something nice for us and you're going to love it so can you shut up and let me do this the way i want to like you told me you wanted me to?"
you paused, hearing the way your friends stifled their laughter as you took in a deep breath.
"ready?" he repeated.
"yeah, i guess," you sighed.
the light was harsh when his hands left your face, and you blinked repeatedly at the kitchen that you spent countless hours in, registering what was different. then, it suddenly clicked, the stovetop joshua had always had was replaced by the blue vintage styled range of your dreams.
"joshua!" you gasped, hands going to your face as you spun to look at him, then back at the range. "you bought me a lacanche?!"
he grinned, hands snaking around your waist from behind as you stood frozen in place. "i bought us a lacanche."
seokmin leaned over to krys. "what's a le conch?"
she reached up and put a finger over his mouth, eyes fixed on you. "shh, they're communicating."
you rushed over to the range, joshua following behind you as you ran your hands over the polished chrome handles that you had stared at on the website for years. "and it's all hooked up?"
he nodded, eyes on you with a smile on his face. "tested it last night."
"without me?" you asked, incredulous.
he laughed. "i didn't want to ruin the surprise by burning the loft down directly after."
your finger fidgeted on the handle, looking over to joshua. he gestured for you to go ahead, and you pushed and spun the knob, lighting a burner and squealing. you shut it off again before launching yourself into a hug.
"joshua!" you wailed, arms wrapped around his neck as he laughed, putting his around your waist. "i love it so much ican'tbelieveyouboughtusafucking lacanche range in portuguese blue for no goddamn reason!"
"there was a reason!" he laughed, letting you pull away slightly to study his face. "it's a housewarming gift. i want you to know this place is yours, too, now."
you did your best to suck the tears back into the ducts they belonged in, trying to not show just how much the gesture meant to you in that way, but you were sure one escaped down your cheek when your hands went to the base of his skull, pulling him into a kiss. you forgot the context of the move. you forgot about your friends that had been excitedly crowded in your new kitchen, anticipating your over the top reaction to what they saw as just a new stove. you, however, were overwhelmed by the specifics - the fact that he had picked the color you chose most often when building your hypothetical dream stove on the website you frequented more often than you would ever admit. the fact that it matched the details on the tile of his kitchen backsplash, a detail you hadn't even noticed when you were looking at them online. the chrome vintage knobs, the layout of the burners - everything was exact to what he had seen you dream about, and you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the love and care that expressed, hoping you could tell him just how much it meant by working your lips against his.
"ok, gross," krys announced, looking away when the two of you didn't pull apart. "i'm saying goodbye to my wallpaper and we're leaving. would anyone else like to pay their respects?"
seokmin raised his hand, his eyes on the ceiling, and krys grabbed his arm and retreated towards the hall, karol telling them to hurry as soonyoung put up a hand to obstruct his view of you and joshua. when you finally pulled away, it wasn't for their reprieve, though they reacted as though it was. it was so you could look into joshua's eyes, creased with the grin on his face as you gave him a similar one, and you couldn't wait to cook with him, on your, plural, portuguese blue lacanche range, with chrome classique handles, four gas burners, a griddle, and a warming drawer. and it would be your best brunch yet.
#caratwritersclub#svtredroom#this part hits lol#seventeen fluff#seventeen scenarios#seventeen imagines#joshua hong imagines#joshua hong fluff#joshua hong scenarios#joshua imagines#joshua scenarios#joshua fluff#fluff#i wrote dis#yes all the banners are based off movie posters#is this actually funny or am i just stupid#josh
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Are you in a relationship rn? That sounds kinda creepy but I don’t mean it to be lol— your writing is just so full of love. Like real, palpable love; it feels like it comes right out of the mind&heart of someone deeply in love. I apologize for my weird wording, I’m on the autistic spectrum so I’m not very good at expressing myself but I guess what I’m trying to get at is that I very much adore your work. It helps me understand feelings I can’t express very well to my SO and I’m grateful. :)
hihi!! :) this is literally the cutest thing, I’m so happy my work helps you navigate your feelings! 💕 pls don’t apologize, I think you do an amazing job of articulating your words. but yess! I am lol. I’ve been with my boyfriend for just over two years now and I am really really happy. he’s the sweetest, funniest, nicest and deff my best friend forever. I think over anything else though, I’ve always had a really good idea of what I want and how I think positive love looks, if that makes sense. I’ve had pretty good examples set for me, and I think part of my writing comes from that. I’m not saying a relationship will always look like what it does in my writing (and I don’t think that’s healthy, either) but I like to think of my fics as a perfect little moment, or even a little snapshot of time where two people are just so happy to be with each other. I think every relationship has (hopefully) experienced some moments that mirror what I try to do in my writing— a time in space where both people are able to just pull really authentic, easy joy out of one another. It’s why I prefer not to have crazy plots in my writing, and tend to focus on super mundane, simple little moments where I can explain those feelings more than anything else. anyway, I’ll stop rambling now. this was fun, thank you for sending it in! I hope you’re well, fren 💕💕
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