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#this whole scene felt so personal
crispywizardtale · 8 months
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whynotimtired · 2 years
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The best part of Will saying he wants forever with Mike so blatantly is that he isn't the one who brought it up, Mike was. In an act of projection he asks "What did you think? That we'd actually get to be together forever? When we're both boys?" and will says yes. He says yes, and Mike immediately regrets it.
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jamietxrtt · 1 year
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im still baffled by the general response to ep 8 btw. sure the dialogue got a little cheesy at times, but the dialogue in this show is always like 15% cheesy? that’s why people like it lol.
i thought ep 8 was really good, plotlines were moving, drama was happening, characters and relationships were being tested. juno temple acted her ass off. i wish the whole season had been like this!
i really don’t understand why everyone disliked this ep so much. am i missing something? am i just looking for something different out of this show than everyone else is? i agree that the season as a whole has been… scattered, but i thought this past ep was really good.
am i missing something?
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fanatics4l · 1 year
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that entire scene of billy being taken can literally be interpreted as a metaphorical rape scene. he's dragged downstairs by his ankles to an abandoned basement in the middle of nowhere while he's thrashing and screaming for help. the mindflayer holds him down and enters his mouth while he continues to struggle. when he's free, he runs away to his car and drives off to the nearest phone booth because he's terrified that it's following him.
he doesn't know what to tell the 911 operator, would they believe him? it all seemed very unrealistic. he has flashbacks and starts dissociating, replaying the scene in his mind, specifically the scene when it enters his mouth. and then he's faced with himself. the other billy represents the side of him that feeds his degrading emotions.
this is literally a metaphorical rape scene i don't know what to tell y'all. the way will's kidnapping can also be interpreted as a child predator holding a child hostage and violating him. joyce's initial thoughts must've been that her son was kidnapped by a sick person. and the fact that they found will unconscious with something forced in his mouth?? metaphorical assault scene.
and billy's shower scene? the black veins represent the phantom touches and pain left behind by his rapist. he's showering because he wants it off him but it's not going away. he's starting to dissociate and the memories are hitting him full force again.
do the duffers realize this connection? the show would be outstanding if they acknowledged the general theme of vecna/the MF representing an abuser/rapist who specifically targets troubled children because they're easier to manipulate.
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badolmen · 8 months
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I can fix him*
*bad writing, underutilized gameplay mechanics, characters with unfulfilled potential, funded by bootlickers
#ra speaks#personal#sorry I made dr phone calls and have like. ten minutes til I gotta get ready for first class of the semester. let me have this.#I think I should get every COD game ever for free. it’s MY tax dollars at work after all (actually anything produced w us military funding#should be free I think I can trap even my bootlicker tax hating dad into getting onboard w this one)#anyways. ghosts was…decent. but jfc if you give me a silent protag I expect SOME self awareness in the writing.#why are characters calling to him on comms when they know he won’t respond? why doesn’t he have an AAC device or something more futuristic?#I’m just saying if you explicitly limit a character you need to respect those limits in te writing. it’s not that hard.#like non of the characters even acknowledge that Logan never talks. esp weird when he first meets the ghosts#also. obv not a big fan of ‘all of South America has United into evil space terrorists’ but it was 2013 so ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯#wish we got to see some SDC civis y’know? get a bear on the average attitudes abt the whole. invading the US thing.#(jfc do not get me started on The Wall like this is a 2016 trump voter’s power fantasy)#also Riley was such an interesting mechanic why couldn’t they have at least substituted him w drones or something on the other missions??#you get him for like. two missions. and then he gets shot and you have to protect him (gosh I actually loved that section)#just. it was clear Logan was The Dog Guy with an aptitude for tech. honestly Hesh felt more like the MC than Logan.#and while Logan doesn’t have a ton of personality we can glean as a result of non speaking + ZERO communication at all ever#seriously he doesn’t even like. wave or give thumbs up to people wtf dude do ppl just assume he’s psychic or something???#I do LOVE the few scenes we get with him acting outside of player control/where he actually has agency (Elias’ death. the final cutscene)#and like it’s not much but it’s enough that I WANT to see what happens next#but alas. a decade old game without a true sequel (I think??? haven’t actually looked into it.)#my brother is making fun of me for being a COD gamer now like boy. I have no defense pls be nice to me T-T
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onewingedangels · 2 months
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I finished ff7 rebirth
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blitheringbongus · 3 months
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Can't believe Scar saw a rapidly approaching, dishevled mumbo and went "he's so cute." I need to run unorthodox experiments on them.
IKR SAME OMG
They’re literally perfect for each other <- delusional
But seriously they have so much lore together in my silly brain and the few interactions they do have (WHICH HAS BEEN INCREASING A LOT LATELY MAY I ADD) has been FUELING the fire rapidly and gods gods GODS do I have many thoughts about them
#literally making an illustration type comic on Mumbos whole vampire timeline#Scar will be next with his vex schenanigans..#the worst part is I always cycle like three to five different backstory’s in my brain for these two I CANNOT decide#but now that I’ve written a short ficlet (that no one will see unless asked) abt a few scenes of Mumbos backstory I think I’m pretty set on-#-his part#Scar tho??? no clue#I have the Hotguy backstory (which I daydream about WAY too much) I have the apocalypse backstory. I have the single player raised by villa-#-gers for years and years cuz his mom dropped him off in the single player world when Scar wasn’t conscidered a player yet since he was an-#-infant cuz it was a teen pregnancy and she was too scared to tell anyone so she just dropped him off with the villagers never to be seen#again. and since it was technically HER single player world when Scar DID grow up old enough to be recognized as a player he couldn’t#access any of the 'exit world' stuff or anything like that since it wasn’t his world#and then like a watcher or smth pulled him out of it so that Scar could be put through the horrors of gun related things for experimentstuff#and then there’s the backstory of where scar IS a watcher. like not a person turned watcher he was BORN (if you could say that) a watcher#and like the other watchers wanted to do an experiment of basically 'could a watcher if stripped of its memories and placed in a people-#-world be able to produce its own feelings and emotions?' and so they did that to Scar but they didn’t place him there as a baby no. they#placed him there as a full grown man so bros even more confused. and when the life series stuff started he had exactly one ☝️ dream per#Series and it was tiny little snippets of his watcher self but he didn’t know that it’s him but like he felt a strange pull towards these#dreams so that’s basically the reason why he kept coming back to the life games even tho they hurt him deeply as we all know#and then when he won secret life the secret keeper asked him what his wish was now that he’s won and he didn’t ask to know who he was and#where he came from (since he just appeared one day as a full grown man with no identification) since he’s made peace with that maybe it is#better not to know. so instead he asked abt the dreams he always has in these series and wth their abt and the context and stuff#and then BAM the secret keeper just drops all that information on him and he has an identity crises :D#anyways. I put both of these guys through many horrors I just have so many ideas for scar specifically. oh also there’s that backstory where#hes an assasin guy and he feels rlly guilty abt it when he gets split in half (gtws and btws) cuz like he has morals now apparently?? also#it explains the scammer stuff cuz he was a HUGE scammer bacl them#asks#hermitcraft#goodtimeswithscar#mumbo jumbo#redscape
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zainmalik · 6 months
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#i had a good cry#let all those feelings out#things got too me too quickly and i felt overwhelmed#i’m much more calm now#my friend and i had a conversation that put a lot of things into perspective#she’s a g/aylor so she’s gone through her fair share of bullshit too#it’s bad that this is getting to me to the point i have a breakdown#and it’s because i have a parasocial relationship with him#at the end of the day we don’t know him personally. we don’t know what goes behind the scenes#and maybe distancing myself a bit from the whole personal aspect of him would be better#also something else. we all have a parasocial relationship with him#la/rries. antis. solos. the people that spend their time hating on him#we all care so much about what he does to the point it gets to us#i still love him and his music and call me crazy but i’m still going to his shows and buying 28op#and i’m gonna play the hell out of lt3 when it comes out#because i enjoy his music and his work. and to me that’s all that matters#whatever his personal life is. whether h and l are still together or broke up or it was just a fling. that shouldn’t matter#don’t get me wrong i still believe in la/rry. nothing can stop me from believing it. but it shouldn’t take so much space in my life#i’m still gonna stream his music. i’m still gonna blog about him. i’m still gonna be his fan#i’m still gonna gif him#but i’m gonna work so hard to make it healthy#somehow i’ve managed to do that with h already#so yeah just lots of words#treating this site like my personal diary aksjsjksjsjs#also @ parasocial relationship anon. somehow i feel offended by it but that’s a me thing not a you thing. and it’s true#logan.txt
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mattodore · 1 year
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i switched from gray-blue to ice-blue eyes on matthias and his gaze feels so much more impactful to me now
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wayfinderships · 8 months
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Every once in a while I think about my old L.upin III s/i and the whole situation they had going on with him and man...
#pan rambles#My ramble is gonna be a bit somber so feel free to just scroll past it!#but anyways#I think about that insert a lot#They didn't want the life of a thief#They only started because their mother was being tricked by loan sharks to they simply stole from said loan sharks-#(oh yeah. this s/i had a mother and she's her whole character and e everything.)#(Most my s/is have parents but I never delve on them because their relationship with them is bad/complicated usually)#(this one is different mainly bc was more based on my Sona which may be called Panchi but is like it's own separate entity from my inserts)#back to the point though.#They didn't want to become a thief but ultimately they stole and now they felt like they had no other choice but to continue#They meet friends ofc but they still feel guilt for their life of a thief. even if they're closer to a robin hood type of thief#they still feel guilty. And then they eventually meet L.upin#and like it or not...they become charmed by him. They're both leaders of their own groups and pretty smart.#The two were on opposing teams at first but their groups eventually get along and Panchi is happy. They were always happy to help L.upin#and eventually they realize that the reason they like helping him/seeing him is because they've fallen in love with him#They've fallen for the great L.upin the T.hird. The two have had their ship tease moments but it never went beyond that#And unfortunately for them...The love isn't quite requited. There's this scene between him and F.ujiko at the end of Part 5 that just.#Hurts Panchi. The feeling that the one they love-the first person they fell for simply loves someone else.#oh man that reminds me of this moment in Part 4. Da Vinci gives each character a challenge of sorts near the end#Panchi was placed in a Perfect Dream world and their challenge was to find what was wrong with it/to snap out of it#what snaps them back to reality was the fact that L.upin wasn't in the “perfect” dream world. Their feelings for him were that strong#Anyways. point is. This s/i has a life they didn't want and in the end didn't get the guy-#It's quite a melancholic s/i when I think about them too hard. they work so much and never catch a break#A part of me still does like L.upin and wants to go back to shipping him but then I just get insecure (?) I guess. it's so strange#but anyways! haha thank you to anyone who listened to my kinda sad ramble!#I miss L.upin a lot. He has a special place in my heart
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actual-changeling · 1 year
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To maybe add onto this post a little bit because I feel like this is something a lot of people who aren't really deeply informed on mental health and/or trauma might not know.
There is four different survival responses: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. The first two are obviously well known but the other two aren't, however especially fawn is dangerous if it goes unrecognized.
I see people write fics in which Ellie goes from fight or flight straight into fawn and it is portrayed as good and healing, meanwhile she is just stuck in a different trauma response. It's just as unhelpful and just as harmful.
The fawn response is focused around appeasing people and keeping everyone else happy because your brain and body tell you that this is how you keep yourself safe. You disregard your emotions, feelings, boundaries, needs, everything in order to make the people around you like you, especially the one you register as a threat. For example, if you are stuck in survival mode and you get into a small, not dangerous fight with someone, your brain will see this as an immediate threat to your safety and slip into the fawning (in this case). You will ignore your own stance on the topic and take the blame for the fight/the problem, you will appease them and give up your position and take on theirs to make them happy and calm again. People very often apologize for things that are not their fault because it is safer to be blamed in a way you can control (and makes the other person less actively aggressive) rather than be stuck in a fight you have zero control over.
We do actually see Ellie fawning in episode nine, she is not only incredibly dissociated but the way she talks is timid and soft, she also apologizes for not being present when Joel points it out (kudos to him for saying "no it's okay" instead of playing into it). If you do not know what to look for, that moment might not mean anything, but it's a textbook fawn response.
Why am I telling you all this? Because writing Ellie as becoming incredibly obedient and "calmer" in how she responds to rules and expectations is a) not true to who she is as a character and b) actively exacerbates her fawn response and reinforces the beliefs and core assumptions of her CPTSD. Fawning means the people around you do not see your trauma anymore/it stops inconveniencing them, so on the outside they think it's great! Look, they're no longer being aggressive or irritable, this must mean they're getting better, right? But then you look at the person and they're terrified to death of upsetting someone and disregard their needs to make everyone else happy and that is the opposite of getting better.
So please, if you write about Ellie recovering from what she has been through keep in mind that there is more than one way to react to trauma and responses that look fine on the outside are usually *not* fine on the inside. Don't just push her from one survival mode into another one because it's more convenient for you, actually put in the work and make her process it, see where she actually ends up once can break out of it.
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gentlethorns · 17 days
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god i forgot what it feels like to really be INVOLVED in a story. to have it brewing in the back of your mind on a simmer instead of some spontaneous combustion infatuation that eventually burns down to a dead end. it is so fulfilling knowing i'm going to go home from work and jump back into it, and to know exactly my next step. i genuinely have not felt this way about writing since high school like i'm healed
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tinnchan · 1 year
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Gift Wattana Kumthorntip as Zhang To Sir With Love (2022) - Ep. 16
"If you don't want to watch Peking Opera with me anymore, then you should go home."
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eyeoftheaxolotl · 4 months
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"this was so obvious to me" wasn't for me. "this game is so easy who would even enjoy this" i did and i found it challenging actually. "nobody would ever fall for this" i did.
when you talk about a video game through the lens of your own experience, you are speaking as a player with your own capabilities and preferences. remember that
#ppl say this about ace attorney for example#that they saw what was wrong with the witness' statements the whole time and they felt frustrated that the game forced them to go and#present evidence in a certain order to uncover the lies but#i was lost for Most cases. i was savestatescumming and randomly guessing MOST of the time.#another example in media more generally is twist villains. like that guy in meet the robinsons.#granted i watched the movie as a kid but#even as an adult i dont think i would have been able to predict that goob = bowler hat guy#it still seems so out of left field#i get what MADE him bowler hat guy in RETROSPECT#because they EXPLAINED it LATER ON#but i simply would not make that connection otherwise#and im ngl#the time between bowler hat guy's introduction and the next time we see goob is enough to make me forget he exists by that point#granted#since i already know what happens#that scene between goob and his future self gets me with the reminder of “oh yeah thats right this is a thing bc theyre the same person etc#but if i didnt remember that i feel like itd catch me off-guard all over again#as a final note#the point of a piece of media is (GENERALLY) not to catch you specifically off-guard.#twist villains arent a challenge issued by the creator. you dont “win” if you guess them ahead of time#congrats#youre perceptive#watch the damn movie#play the damn game#or dont. thats fine just dont whine about it like it's a fault of the story#it's not. it's really not#axolspeaks#eyeoftheaxolotl
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quietwingsinthesky · 3 months
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even deserves gentle forehead kisses
#and so do i but thats another problem#dw oc#thinking about. touch in their original environment is function only. necessity when it happens.#it is not a cruel thing. or not intentionally not by those doing it that even interacts with. because even does not. as a rule. interact#with anyone ‘Important’.#they are all simply following the same patterns they were raised with and have little reason to question because of the intense isolation of#space travel. i think a lot about. the inciting incident of even leaving is Sci-Fi Problems but more specifically. the death of someone#they were both attached to and felt responsible for. their older and previously injured coworker who would not be alive without even lying#about how much work he’s doing that they’re taking care of in reality. (which is a whole other thing. really the first things to know about#even are 1) that they will willingly put themselves in a position that endangers/harms them without hesitation if it means helping. and#2) even is a liar. that is what love does to them. for better and more often for worse. if it hurts — even will lie.#AND ANYWAY WE’RE GETTING OFFTRACK HERE#but the point is that what sticks in my mind that will go into a scene if i ever write anything about this#is that when that person dies. that person who even has built their life around protecting. buying just a little more time.#when the doctor is trying to pull even away because the danger is still present they are not safe it is still a threat. instead even squirms#away from him so that they can take their friends hand and put it on their cheek. and its still warm.#this is the person they were closest to. and this. this simple thing this simple contact. this is not something even has ever felt.#and their hand is growing cold.#anyway moving on from that this is why they should get cuddles#even headbonks the doctor to show affection like a cat pass it on.
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gingerschnaps · 1 year
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look at how they massacred my magician...
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