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#this web weave still haunts me
introspectivememories · 3 months
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NICO: WE SHARED THE LIFT THIS MORNING! I WAS GOING TO THE POOL TRAMPOLINE WITH MY TWO DAUGHTERS AND HE WAS GOING TO THE RACETRACK. PINKHAM: VERY DIFFERENT LIVES YOU'RE CURRENTLY LEADING.
#that line from nico is like /the/ modern brocedes thesis to me#like this is their happy ending!!! it is not the one they dreamed of all those years ago in greece but is a happy ending.#it's not multiple shared championships or racing against each other for years or anything their 13 year-old-selves would've dreamed up but#it is them achieving their dreams. lewis has 7 wdcs and is aiming for an 8th. nico has a loving wife and 2 daughters he'd die for. they are#both doing the things they love. would it have been nice if those dreams included each other? yeah. would it have been nice that when ppl#mention their names it would be to talk about what great friends they are instead of how they tore each other apart? absolutely! but they#were doomed from the start. so maybe it doesn't matter that they didn't get their traditional 'happy ending'. at least they had a happy#start and a semi-happy middle. at least they have the lift to see each other. at least nico's daughters get to keep lewis in their lives in#a way nico will never get to again. they will never share a bowl of frosties again but at least their roots are so thoroughly tangled#together that they can never look back without haunting each other. at least they still have that.#anyway for all the non-americans who reblog or like this. the poem is 'the road not taken' by robert frost. very famous in america#every middle/high schooler has to analyze/read this poem at some point. i don't know how popular he is outside of america so i thought id#leave a note ig.#anyway. i am going crazy and i need to lie down. that 2nd line was sooo hard to find a photo for. wth does 'hence' even mean???#brocedes edit#brocedes#f1 web weaving#f1#nico rosberg#lewis hamilton#f1 edit#nr6#lh44#web weaving
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wikipedie · 1 year
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The train is late and your family is dead
I think grief is like a really ugly couch. It never goes away. You can decorate around it; you can slap a doily on top of it; you can push it to the corner of the room—but eventually, you learn to live with it. ― Jodi Picoult, Leaving Time
Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking | The Mentalist season 1, episode 7: Seeing Red | Linda Pastan, The Five Stages of Grief | The Mentalist season 2, episode 23: Red Sky in the Morning | teashoesandhair, grief | The Mentalist season 1, episode 5: Redwood | Lemony Snicket, A Series of Unfortunate Events (for Beatrice) | The Mentalist season 4, episode 23: Red Rover, Red Rover | The Mentalist season 5, episode 2: Devil's Cherry | Anne Carson, Glass, irony and god | Jamie Anderson | Anne Carson, Grief Lessons: Four Plays by Euripides | The Mentalist season 7, episode 13: White Orchids | Glennon Doyle Melton, Love Warrior
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leomssis · 6 months
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on the haunting of fc barcelona
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charles-jpg · 1 year
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kaz brekker | richard siken
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hookechoes · 7 months
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Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (1992) / Peaky Blinders (2013-2022)
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pikslasrce · 9 months
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hannibal s1e7 script, sorbet // bones and all script
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sadnymi · 2 months
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"My Dreams Are Just Dreams... Until They're Not" modern Mattheo riddle × reader [ chapter three ]
[Previous chapter] [Next chapter]
Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language,childhood trauma ,abusing, cheating ( not the main characters)
Please understand that from this chapter onwards, the story will delve into darker themes. I urge you to pay close attention to the trigger warnings provided.
words: 2,216
Reading Time : 8mins 26sec
Summery: A week at my best friend's beach house, surrounded by our friends as we meet her soon-to-be fiancé's companions, marks a turning point where the very fabric of my beliefs begins to unravel. It's during this week that I encounter the boy who incessantly appears in my dreams, blurring the distinction between the world of my subconscious and the tangible reality before me. Matthe Riddle emerges as the poison I willingly imbibe, a curse that feels akin to a dream, weaving its tendrils into the very essence of my being.
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[ Gif is not mine ]
Red – the hue of blood, the symbol of power, the embodiment of pain. All I could see was red, engulfing my vision in a swirling, crimson haze.
“ you can’t hide forever princess “
Close your eyes and breathe he can’t hurt you- if you can’t see him that’s mean he won’t be able to see you
“ comon , daddy hates waiting princess, he’s going to punish you when he finds you “ shut up - shut up - shut up
Then I hear it—the sound of his steps, each one drawing him nearer and nearer.
“ he’s not coming you mean nothing to him you know? Why would the heir of the most powerful house care about someone insignificant, someone so worthless like you “
“ liar “ I screamed and then it was red all over again all I saw was red
I jolt awake, gasping for air as the tendrils of the nightmare slowly release their grip on me. My heart pounds erratically in my chest, echoing the frantic rhythm of my dreams. Sweat beads on my forehead, and I take deep, ragged breaths, trying to ground myself in reality.
I sit up in bed, my body trembling with the aftershocks of the nightmare. I run a hand through my disheveled hair, trying to calm the racing thoughts in my mind.
" must not fear," I repeated
" | must not let it consume me, fear has no power if he did not find a body to take “
I rush to the window, desperate for a breath of fresh air to quell the turmoil swirling within me. But as I peer outside, my heart lurches in my chest at the sight of him, his gaze locking onto mine. A wave of uncertainty washes over me, leaving me paralyzed with indecision—uncertain if this encounter is real or merely a continuation of the haunting dreams that plague my nights.
Fingers trembling, I hastily pull on my hoodie, seeking refuge in its familiar embrace as I make my way downstairs. Each step feels heavy with apprehension as I navigate the familiar path to the spot where I last saw him standing outside my window. My mind races with questions, my emotions tangled in a web of fear and longing.
As I reach the spot, the air around me feels charged with tension, thick with unspoken words and unanswered questions. I stand there, searching the darkness for any sign of him, my heart pounding in my chest as I grapple with the overwhelming rush of emotions that threaten to consume me.
"Please, tell me I'm not dreaming," I implore, my voice trembling with fear as I search his eyes for reassurance.
He appears bewildered but responds softly, "You're not dreaming, love."
The weight of his words offers a brief respite, but the turmoil within me refuses to be quelled. "What's wrong with me?" I whisper, tears threatening to spill over. "Something is wrong with me."
The floodgates open, and I succumb to the overwhelming wave of emotion, tears streaming down my cheeks in front of him. I despise my vulnerability, yet I cannot suppress the torrent of fear that grips me—the echo of the monster's voice from my nightmare still clawing at the edges of my consciousness.
"I... I don't know what to do," I manage to say between sobs, my words barely audible through the tears.
Suddenly, and with surprising swiftness, he enfolds me in his arms, drawing me close until I can feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against my chest. The warmth of his embrace offers a fleeting sense of familiarity, a small respite from the overwhelming flood of emotions threatening to engulf me.
As I bury my face in his chest, the tears continue to flow, unchecked and unbidden. Despite my efforts to maintain composure, I find myself crumbling under the weight of my fears and insecurities.
But he holds me steadfastly, his presence a comforting anchor in the storm raging within me. With each gentle stroke of his hand against my back, I feel a measure of the tension begin to ease,
In the safety of his embrace, I allow myself to release the pent-up emotions that have been consuming me, to surrender to the vulnerability that lies at the heart of my fear. And as he continues to hold me, offering silent reassurance and unwavering support
Stepping back slightly to meet his gaze, I find his hands still wrapped around me, offering unwavering support in the midst of my emotional turmoil.
"I... I think we know each other," I begin, my voice trembling with uncertainty. "I know you said we don't, but I can't shake this feeling. It's as though I've known you before, as though we're connected in some inexplicable way. I can't explain it, but I feel it deep within me. Maybe it's from another life, or maybe there's something more at play here. But I know you—I feel like I always have."
His touch is gentle as he wipes away my tears, his eyes filled with a tenderness that takes my breath away. For a moment, the world fades away, leaving only the two of us standing together in the quiet intimacy of the moment.
And then, with a softness in his voice that sends shivers down my spine, he responds, his words carrying the weight of unspoken truths and hidden desires.
He gently suggests, "You should go back to sleep and rest. Let me take you to your room, love. We can continue this conversation when you're feeling better."
Feeling vulnerable, I murmur, my voice barely audible, "You think I'm crazy, don't you?"
He meets my gaze with unwavering sincerity. "I think many things about you, but questioning your sanity is not one of them."
With his reassurance echoing in my mind, he guides me back inside the house, his steady presence a source of comfort in the darkness. But as we reach the doorway to my room, I hesitate, a wave of unease washing over me at the thought of being alone.
"I don't want to go back to my room," I admit, the words tumbling out in a rush. The thought of being alone in the darkness fills me with an overwhelming sense of dread, and I cling to him, desperate for his presence to chase away the lingering shadows of fear.
He pauses, gently brushing the hair away from my face before speaking softly, "Would you prefer to stay in my room instead?"
"Can I?" I ask softly, my voice barely above a whisper, unsure if I'm crossing a boundary by accepting his invitation.
"Yes, you can," he replies with a tender smile, his voice a gentle caress that soothes my nerves. With a grateful nod, I acquiesce, allowing him to lead us both to his room.
His room is a sanctuary of simplicity and cleanliness, a haven of tranquility amidst the chaos of my thoughts. The soft hues and minimalist decor create an atmosphere of serenity, wrapping around me like a warm embrace.
As he guides me to the bed, his touch is tender and reassuring, his fingers lingering against my skin as he tucks the blankets around me with care. With delicate precision, he begins to play with my hair, each stroke sending shivers of pleasure down my spine.
His touch is intimate yet gentle, his fingers threading through the strands with a tenderness that speaks volumes. I close my eyes, losing myself in the sensation, allowing myself to be carried away by the warmth of his touch.
"I feel bad, it's your bed," I murmur softly, a pang of guilt tugging at my heart as I acknowledge the intrusion.
He chuckles softly, his breath warm against my skin as he leans in closer. "Don't worry about that, love," he murmurs huskily, his voice sending a shiver down my spine his lips brush against my cheek with a feather-light touch, eliciting a soft sigh of contentment as I close my eyes.
As I finally begin to drift into a peaceful slumber, cocooned in his embrace, I feel his lips press against my forehead in a gentle kiss. "Sleep well, my love," he whispers softly, his words a promise of comfort and security.
In the hazy borderland between wakefulness and sleep, I feel his lips tenderly brush against my forehead in a gentle kiss. catch the faint echo of his words something that sounds like how he’s going to fix everything whispered into the stillness of the night..
As I wake, I find myself enveloped in a sense of peace that has eluded me for far too long. There's no lingering fear, no remnants of the nightmares that used to haunt my sleep. It's been a year since I last woke in terror, a year since the darkness of my dreams consumed me
"You're awake," he says, his voice breaking through the fog of my thoughts.
I turn to him, the memories of what I said to him flooding back, and my smile fades as I blurt out, "I'm so sorry, Mattheo. Oh my God."
He sits beside me on the bed, his presence a comforting anchor in the storm of my emotions. "It's okay, love. It was just a nightmare. You were terrified, but it's just the fear talking. There's no need to apologize."
I take a deep breath, trying to calm the rapid beat of my heart. "I'm sorry," I whisper, feeling ashamed of my panicked reaction.
"Don't apologize, it’s okay “
"I must have scared you," I murmur.
He smiles, his eyes warm and understanding. "Believe me, it will take more than that to scare me."
I glance at the clock and realize how late it is. "Oh, God," I mutter again , feeling a surge of panic at the time.
"You looked so peaceful sleeping," he says softly, his words tinged with affection. "I didn't want to wake you up."
I want to tell him how grateful I am for his presence, how his calming influence eased the terror of my nightmare. "It's been a while since I slept like that," I admit quietly.
"I must go and get ready if I want to go to this party," I say, reluctantly tearing myself away from his comforting presence.
I rise from the bed, casting a shy glance towards him, my lips curving into a smile. "Thank you," I murmur softly, feeling the warmth of his nod and the softness of his smile drawing me in.
As I make my way back to my room, butterflies flutter in my stomach.
Relief floods over me as I reach my room, grateful that no one witnessed my departure from his room. Yet, as I settle in, anxiety grips me, threatening to overwhelm my senses. I try to distract myself, my thoughts wandering to someone with black hair and captivating eyes.
Closing the door behind me, I lean against it, closing my eyes and savoring the memory of his soft lips against my cheek. It's a fleeting moment of solace in the midst of my tumultuous emotions, a reminder of the undeniable connection that binds us together.
After a quick shower, I begin to prepare for the day ahead. Deciding on an off-shoulder, short red dress, I carefully slip it on, relishing in its vibrant hue. Sad started to put some makeup on couldn’t help but wonder what mattheo would thought about my look
I heard a knock on the door, and Sarah entered, concern etched on her face. She inquired if I was alright and mentioned that I had missed breakfast.
“ you sure you’re okay baby ? “
I smiled “ yes , never been better “
"You look amazing," she remarked with a smile.
I returned the compliment, "So are you. Green is definitely your color."
Sarah grinned, adjusting her emerald dress. "Thanks! I was a bit hesitant about it at first, but now I'm glad I chose it."
"It suits you perfectly," I assured her, admiring her confidence.
As we continued chatting, Sarah's presence brought a sense of ease to the room, and I felt grateful for her
“ I will be waiting for you downstairs “ I nodded with a smile
I frantically searched for my small bag before making my way to join the group. Suddenly, I heard it—a sound that chilled me to the core. It didn't sound like a dream; it was too real, too sinister.
Driven by an inexplicable force, I followed the sound, my heart pounding with fear. It led me to a door I hadn't noticed before. Hesitating only for a moment, I pushed it open, plunging into darkness so deep I could scarcely see my hand in front of my face.
And then, I saw them—three monstrous figures from my nightmares, lying in wait for me. Their eyes gleamed with malice as they fixated on me, sending shivers down my spine.
The pain and terror I thought I had escaped flooded back in an instant, threatening to overwhelm me. Among them was the source of my deepest nightmares, the embodiment of all my fears—my stepfather.
"You kept daddy waiting, princess," his voice echoed through the darkness, dripping with menace.
Paralyzed with fear, I could do nothing but stare at him, the realization sinking in that my nightmare was far from over.
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@hereticdance
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Under the golden hues of the late afternoon sun, laughter danced through the air as Tiffany and y/n shared yet another moment of uncontrollable giggles. Their friendship was a testament to the unexpected blessings life sometimes offers. Amidst the laughter, Tiffany leaned in closer, her voice a blend of eagerness and a hint of nervousness. "Hey, I've been meaning to ask you," she began, her words weaving the beginning of a fate-entwined narrative, "would you be up for meeting someone really special to me? I think you'd like him a lot."
Little did y/n know, the universe had its own plans, orchestrating a reunion with a familiar soul she thought she had regretfully left in the chapters of my past.
In the soft glow of the evening, the stage was set for a reunion that was as unexpected as it was inevitable. Tiffany, ever the social butterfly, had been buzzing with excitement over the small gathering she had organized, completely oblivious to the intricate web of past affections that was about to be untangled.
Y/n, with a heart cautiously mending from past hurts, had agreed to join, unaware that the evening would steer her straight into the orbit of Jonah, the embodiment of every dream she had reluctantly awakened from. The moment Jonah's eyes found her through the doorway, time seemed to fold into itself.
There she stood, a vision that had haunted the corners of his mind, never truly leaving. His mind raced with a mix of emotions, memories flooding back as he locked eyes with her. It was as if time stood still in that moment.
His heart, a faithful compass, skipped a beat, instantly navigating the tumultuous seas of love he never really sailed away from. The air thickened with a mixture of anticipation and nostalgia as Tiffany, blissfully ignorant of the depth of the connection she had just reignited, introduced them to each other with a cheerfulness that bordered on irony. The charade of first introductions hung awkwardly between Y/N and Jonah, a thin veil over the profound familiarity that pulsed silently in the space between them.
As the evening unfolded, laughter and light conversation filled the room, yet an undercurrent of words and glances charged with history flowed quietly.
Jonah, with a gentleness that has always defined him, found ways to be near Y/N, his actions speaking the volumes that his lips dared not utter. It was not until the twilight had deepened, and the room had emptied of all but lingering goodbyes, that they found themselves alone, ensconced in the quietude that finally allowed for walls to come down.
They spoke of mundane things at first, the kind of talk that bridges gaps and fills silences, but soon ventured into the tender territories of family, of his mother who still held Y/N in high regard, of the time lost and the healing it had brought.
In the vulnerability of their exchange, the love that had never truly left found its way back silently, whispering unspoken promises of new beginnings and understanding hearts.
The situation between Jonah, Y/N, and Tiffany is a complex tapestry of secrets, emotions, and unintended consequences. Jonah and Y/N's decision to keep their past hidden from Tiffany was rooted in a desire to protect their current relationships and preserve the peace within their circle. They believed that by burying their history, they could move forward without causing harm or distrust. However, the truth about human connections is that they are often more transparent than we think. The way people interact, the unspoken bonds, and the familiarity that comes with a shared history are difficult to conceal, especially from those who are observant and emotionally invested.
Tiffany, being a keen observer and deeply connected to both Jonah and Y/N, began to sense the undercurrents of something more profound than what was being presented to her.
The family gatherings, which were meant to be joyous occasions, became a tableau for Tiffany's growing suspicions. The dog's affection, the warmth of Jonah's family towards Y/N, the way his friends acted like Y/N's own, and the unmistakable chemistry between the two could not be rationalized away by mere friendship or coincidental familiarity. These were the breadcrumbs leading Tiffany to the truth, stirring a whirlpool of emotions and questions within her.
The culmination of these tensions and the inevitable revelation of Jonah and Y/N's past connection came at a moment of undeniable beauty and vulnerability.
The beach, with its vast horizon and the setting sun casting golden hues, served as the backdrop for Jonah and Y/N to finally give in to their feelings. It was hesitant at first, a dance of emotions and memories, but as the sun dipped below the horizon, they found solace and truth in each other's arms. This moment, although beautiful, marked the beginning of a new chapter, one where they would have to face the consequences of their choices, navigate Tiffany's feelings, and redefine the boundaries of their relationships. The path forward would require honesty, courage, and the willingness to face the complexities of the heart head-on.
After enduring a heart-wrenching separation from Jonah, Y/N found herself navigating a tumultuous sea of emotions. Their breakup wasn't a result of lost love or fading affection; instead, it was a sacrifice Y/N felt compelled to make to protect Jonah from an ominous threat. An external menace, a man whose intentions were far from benign, had insidiously woven himself into the fabric of their lives, casting shadows of doubt and danger. He had threatened not only to harm Jonah but also to tarnish Y/N's reputation with false accusations of infidelity. In a desperate bid to shield Jonah from potential harm and to spare him the pain of scandal, Y/N made the excruciating decision to distance herself from him, believing it was the only way to keep him safe.
The path leading Y/N back to Jonah was fraught with uncertainty and fear. However, the bond they shared, built on a foundation of deep love and mutual respect, was unbreakable. Upon reunifying, Jonah's reaction was nothing short of exemplary. He embraced Y/N with an understanding and compassion that transcended the pain of their separation. There was no room for blame or resentment in his heart; instead, he enveloped Y/N in a cocoon of warmth and security, signaling an unwavering support system. Jonah's actions spoke volumes of his character; he was not merely a partner but a sanctuary.
Eventually, Tiffany's unintentional journey of emotional turmoil and heartache finds a resolution, a peaceful closure that many stories strive to reach but seldom do. The crux of her journey centers around coming to terms with the intertwined past of Jonah and Y/N, a past that, for the longest time, cast a shadow over her present. It's a narrative familiar to many, where the remnants of old relationships linger like ghosts, haunting the corridors of one’s heart. Yet, Tiffany’s story takes a hopeful turn, illustrating a profound truth about human resilience and the capacity to heal.
As Tiffany navigates through the complexities of her feelings and the intricacies of her relationships, she discovers something transformative within herself. It's akin to the first rays of dawn after a long, dark night—the realization that within Y/N’s eyes, there lies not just the reflection of a shared history, but also the glimmer of understanding, forgiveness, and perhaps, a shared closure. This moment of epiphany is pivotal, for it marks not just the end of a chapter, but the beginning of something new, something promising.
In the wake of this newfound peace, Tiffany’s path crosses with someone unexpected, someone who resonates with her on every conceivable level. This serendipitous meeting isn't just about finding someone new; it's about finding someone who is just right for her—a person who mirrors her aspirations, complements her strengths, and understands her flaws. This relationship stands in stark contrast to her past, not because it’s devoid of challenges, but because it’s built on a foundation of mutual respect, shared values, and an unwavering support for each other. Tiffany’s story, thus, beautifully encapsulates the journey of self-discovery, of moving beyond the past, and of finding love that elevates and inspires.
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dc-and-arfrona · 11 months
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When I couldn’t sleep at night, I wrote stories.
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Jason Todd x GN!Reader
Based off this prompt
In the stillness of sleepless nights, my refuge was always the written word. My pen danced across the paper, stitching together stories and dreams. It was through writing that I found solace, a conduit to express the thoughts that echoed within me. And amidst the blank pages, he was always there—Jason Todd, my inspiration, my muse.
My words painted him vividly, breathing life into his every nuance and shade. I poured my heart into each sentence, weaving tales of love and adventure, mirroring the bittersweet symphony of our own journey. It was as if the ink on the page carried a piece of his soul, an imprint of his presence in my life.
But when Jason abruptly left, the inkwell of my creativity ran dry. The stories that once flowed effortlessly were silenced, the characters retreating into the shadows of my imagination. The absence of his presence left me staring at empty pages, yearning for the return of my inspiration.
I sat at my desk, the weight of his absence heavy in my heart, my pen poised with longing. But the words refused to come, caught in the web of grief and loss. The vibrant tapestry of storytelling had been torn apart, the threads of our shared dreams unraveling before my eyes.
Night after night, I found myself entangled in a struggle between sleep and solitude. I sought refuge in the embrace of dreams, yearning for the solace they once provided. But sleep evaded me, the void in my heart casting a haunting shadow over my nights.
In the depths of this creative abyss, a glimmer of hope emerged—a chance encounter in the chaos of the city. There, amid the darkness, was Jason, donning the mantle of the Red Hood. His presence ignited a spark within me, a reminder of the power of resilience and the strength that lies within.
Inspired by the enigmatic vigilante, I returned to my desk with renewed determination. I poured my heart onto the pages, seeking to mend the fragments of shattered dreams. Through my words, I yearned to find solace once again, to bridge the gap between the world I created and the reality I faced.
With each stroke of the pen, I discovered the strength to embrace vulnerability, to delve into the complexities of human emotion. The characters found their voice, their journeys intertwined with my own. The ink flowed, breathing life into the narratives that pulsed through my veins.
As the nights unfolded, sleep finally found me. In my dreams, I no longer longed for Jason's presence. Instead, I sought solace in the stories I crafted, weaving tales of love and redemption, of brokenness and healing. The dreams were no longer about him, but about the intricate tapestry of life itself.
With Jason as my muse, I unearthed the courage to confront the shattered fragments of my own dreams. The characters on the page reflected the resilience and determination that burned within me, mirroring the journey of my own fractured heart.
So, when sleep eluded me at night, I no longer stared at the ceiling in despair. Instead, I surrendered to the call of the page, knowing that through writing, I could mend the broken fragments of my dreams. And within the realms of my imagination, I found a sanctuary where new stories unfolded, waiting to be told and cherished.
Masterlist
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moonshine999 · 8 months
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The Crows as Taylor Swift albums (pt.1)
because why would we have a sane method of characterisation
Kaz Brekker : Midnights 
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♟️”And I wake up with your memory over me // That’s a real fucking legacy to leave” - Maroon 
♟️”Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism // Like some kind of congressman? (Tale as old as time) // I wake up screaming from dreaming // One day I’ll watch as you’re leaving and life will lose all its meaning” - Anti-hero 
♟️”And the touch of a hand lit the fuse  // Of a chain reaction of countermoves // To assess the equation of you // Checkmate, I couldn’t lose” - Mastermind
♟️”Do you wish you could still touch…her? // It’s just a question” - Question…? 
♟️”Uh oh, I’m falling in love // Oh no, I’m falling in love again // Oh, I falling in love” - Labyrinth 
♟️”Spider-boy, king of thieves // Weave your little webs of opacity// My pennies made your crown” - Karma 
♟️”Passing by unbeknownst to me // Life is emotionally abusive// And time can’t stop me quite like you did” - Snow on the Beach 
♟️”All that bloodshed, crimson clover // uh-uh, sweet dream was over // my hand was the one you reached for // All throughout the Great War // Always remember// Uh-uh tears on the letter // I vowed not to cry anymore // if we survived the Great War” - The Great War
♟️”I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone // You said I have to trust more freely // But diesel is desire, you were playing with fire” - The Great War
♟️”Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness // ‘Cause it’s all over now, all out to sea” - Bigger than the whole sky
♟️”If I was some paint, did it splatter // On a promising grown man? // And if I was a child, did it matter // If you got to wash your hands?”- Would’ve could’ve should’ve
♟️”And now that I’m grown, I’m scared of ghosts // Memories feel like weapons” - Would’ve could’ve should’ve
♟️”Dear reader // Burn all the files, desert all your past lives // And I’d you don’t recognise yourself // That means you did it right “ - Dear Reader
♟️”Dear reader // The greatest of luxuries is your secrets // Dear reader // When you aim at the devil, make sure you don’t miss” - Dear Reader
Inej Ghafa : Speak Now
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🪷”Left yourself in your warpath // Lost your balance on a tightrope // Lost your mind tryin' to get it back” - Innocent  
🪷”Oh, who you are is not where you’ve been // you’re still an innocent” - Innocent
🪷”My mind forgets to remind me you're a bad idea // You touch me once and it's really something “- Sparks Fly 
🪷”Maybe this is wishful thinkin' // Probably mindless dreamin'” - Back To December 
🪷”Miscommunications lead to fall out // So many things that I wish you knew // So many walls up I can't break through” - The Story Of Us
🪷”The battle's in your hands now // But I would lay my armor down // If you'd say you'd rather love than fight “- The Story of Us 
🪷”But I never thought I'd live to see it break // It's getting dark and it's all too quiet // And I can't trust anything now” - Haunted 
🪷”but Sophistication isn't what you wear, or who you know” - Better Than Revenge 
🪷”The playful conversation starts // Counter all your quick remarks // Like passing notes in secrecy” - Enchanted 
🪷“same old tired, lonely place // walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy // vanished when I saw your face // All I can say is, it was enchanting to meet you” - Enchanted
🪷”The crowds in stands went wild // We were the kings and the queens// And they read off our names” - Long Live 
🪷”And the cynics were outraged // Screaming, "This is absurd" // ‘Cause for a moment // a band of thieves In ripped up jeans got to rule the world” - Long Live 
🪷”Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?” - Dear John 
🪷”Well maybe it’s me // And my blind optimism to blame // Or maybe it’s you and your sick need // to give love and then take it away” - Dear John
🪷”Memorise what it sounded like when your dad gets home // Remember the footsteps // Remember the words said // And all of your little brother’s favourite songs” - Never Grow Up
(Nina, Matthias, Jesper and Wylan are already posted)
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rruhlauthor · 3 months
Text
Book Review - The Shining by Stephen King
This is the first Stephen King novel I’ve read, and fittingly, I read it during the largest snowstorm I’ve seen in a few years—though not nearly as severe as the blizzards that entrap the Torrance family in the Overlook. It was an excellent introduction to his body of work. Since I write gothic horror, reading The Shining has helped me to learn more about the broader canon of the subgenre, especially since my experience thus far has primarily been the foundational stories of the nineteenth century, such as Carmilla and the works of Edgar Allan Poe. The Shining, written and set in 1977, enhanced my horror experience as I had a closer cultural connection to the fears explored in the story. Small details down to the sad song Seasons in the Sun on the radio made the threats feel close to home. I believe this is why it had such mass appeal, as a reinvigorated take on a classic subgenre. Divorce, generational trauma, economic depression, and the undercurrent of racial relations are easy for the contemporary reader to connect with, and this is still true almost fifty years later in 2024.
Regardless of the year of setting, The Shining contains the hallmark elements of gothic horror: an isolated location, missed opportunities for escape, loss of sanity, and haunting. The characters not only physically trapped in the Overlook, but emotionally trapped with each other, and it’s the latter that makes the story captivating. Jack fears becoming his father, Wendy fears becoming her mother, and both fear upsetting their son with a divorce, which keep them entangled in their failing marriage. Through the narrative, their resentment for each other is as palpable as the steam building up in the boiler, a ticking time bomb. This is what I consider to be the most masterful element of the novel and the reason it remains so popular: a sense of subtle, creeping dread and psychological tension.
The first 250 pages were difficult for me to remain interested in, if I’ll be honest, but I kept reading because of the little hints. I could not put the book down for the last 200 pages. My own gothic novel has a slower pace, and something I had been recently struggling with was feeling like I needed more glamour and action to convey dread, but The Shining is titillatingly creepy with a thousand little threads that weave together in a web to ensnare the reader’s curiosity. The introduction of the story teases a climax that is paid off in full at the end. In addition to the main suspense around “redrum,” the recurring symbol of the wasps stood out to me. The first major supernatural occurrence at the Overlook was the resurrection of the hive, Jack connects the wasp nest with his abusive father and the cycle of trauma, and the entity dying at the end is compared to a swarm. The novel is neatly bookended, starting with Wendy and Danny together in a normal day, and ending with Wendy and Danny together in a new type of normal. I do personally prefer horror stories with hope at the end.
After gaining experience with formulaic mysteries and thrillers—which I do enjoy, don’t get me wrong—I love a suspenseful novel that is not predictable. Despite knowing nothing was going to allow the family to leave the Overlook, there were times I had hope Jack would snap out of it, and I really thought it wouldn’t be possible—but then he did at the very end to complete his goal of saving his family. I could not predict if Dick was going to make it to Colorado and survive to the end of the novel, and that perilous journey up the Rockies in a blizzard may be one of the most harrowing things I’ve ever read—and he fought not only the winter, but racial profiling. Another touch of realism to bring the fear home. I was convinced Wendy and Jack were going to kill each other, but Jack was the only one not to escape the Overlook. The novel kept me guessing and I felt real fear and disgust, especially when the dead woman in the tub was first revealed and when Jack was hunting Wendy in the scene made famous by the movie. A successful horror story indeed. My hope for my own writing is to make a reader feel such raw emotion and concern for a character.
As for criticism, I’m unsure how I felt about the third person omniscient point of view. I believe we needed all the viewpoints offered to get a full picture of the story told, but at times, the perspective seemed to shift midsentence and the style wasn’t the most readable. From a gender lens, something I could’ve gone without was how the novel paused to mention what every woman’s chest felt or looked like. It’s not unexpected for a male author in the seventies but it did take me out of the narrative. If I had a shot every time the word “nipple” appeared, I probably would have about five shots, which is, in my humble opinion, too many for a story without a romantic focus.
If The Shining was written by an unknown author in 2024, I feel like it wouldn’t have been allowed to have such a slow start or have a length of 500 pages. The market has changed since 1977 for an audience with a much shorter attention span. The first page is Jack’s dislike for his new boss. It doesn’t have the hook demanded by modern readers. Yet the first chapter foreshadows the rest of the novel, and right away, we know Jack will try to kill his family like the former caretaker. The narrative may meander at times like a mountain road, but it delivers. King keeps his promises to the audience in The Shining, which is what makes the book and him as an author so successful.
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aventurine-official · 3 months
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Your people kind of remind me of that lullaby from my realm, it begins with
Sleep quiet, my child
My little Drow
Your dreams invite tranquility now
Cast in this cavern
Stone walls so secure
The web holds you tight
Through underdark night
And guardian spiders
That tickle you, feel
With gossamer threads
Weave our goddesses seal
The spider queen's children
And so too her kin
Are here to remind you
That you shall not sin
They show you the scourge
The snake headed whip
They bite and they tear
Until she hears your prayer
There is no such blessing
To the damned up above
Those who've forsaken
The spider queen's love
In their way lies weakness
And unceasing waste
....
I am not a Drow though
Oh, goodness...
*Aventurine sits quite still after hearing the song.*
It's haunting... so beautiful, and yet the message it carries is almost more heartbreaking than the sorrowful keen itself~
But... why does it remind you of the Avgins? I... I don't quite see the, uh... comparison...
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seyaryminamoto · 7 months
Text
The Shadows in her Reflection: Sokkla Saturdays 2023
Chapter 2: Spring
Rated M
On FF.net//On AO3
She was restrained, trapped in a dark web of tendrils that weaved through her arms, and legs, and…
She cried. Tears spilled down her cheeks.
Smoke and darkness swallowed her, and the pale glow she released dimmed, and dimmed, and…
Yue's desperate eyes locked onto hers, wordlessly pleading to be saved.
Azula gasped and sat up, chest heaving: again, one of those nightmares. Again, Yue haunted her in dreams in a way she couldn't understand.
"You okay?"
Over the past months, no one had been around to ask that question to her. Truth be told, no one had dared ask it for much longer than that. Her allies, the false Kemurikage, had never bothered asking that question… perhaps because none of them were okay. It might have been redundant to ask at all.
But it wasn't something redundant for him, her sudden, new companion who piloted the hot-air balloon in her stead. He was helpful, at least, in providing her time to rest better than she had in a long time… but she wasn't sure she felt all that comfortable near him, anyways.
"I'm fine. Just… a dream," Azula said, shaking her head. Sokka nodded.
"Well, now that you're up, we can have breakfast," he said. Azula grimaced.
"I'm not going to cook for you," she said. "And you'd better be grateful that I won't. I'd likely make us both sick."
"In all these years, you haven't learned how to cook?" Sokka asked, with a slight smirk. Azula scoffed.
"I may have lost my titles and my position in society, but deep inside, I will always be a Princess," Azula said, stubbornly.
"Which means you've been stuck eating whatever scraps you could find, steal, maybe buy on occasion if you had any money on you?" Sokka concluded. Azula shrugged.
"You know, people happen to drop money in the weirdest of places. Did you know commoners enjoy tossing coins into fountains?"
"You… you fished out coins from fountains and used them for…?" Sokka blinked blankly. Azula smirked.
"It was quite helpful. I for one welcome their generosity. It was like collecting a tax, only, everyone paid it willingly. Strange, wouldn't you say?"
"People usually do that because they're making wishes and they think they'll come true," Sokka said. Azula snorted and laughed.
"Fools that they are. Did they expect spirits to fulfill wishes by paying them actual money? Spirits are a lot more irksome than that. They don't fulfill wishes, they demand that you fulfill theirs, going by my experience... though it's worth noting, too, that Yue actually assisted me at collecting the coins ever since she took to invading my head."
"She assisted you?" Sokka asked, perplex.
"Indeed. She was reflected off every one of those coins, so she took to calling me, guiding me to the next one, and the next… and the next thing I knew, I was eating the best bowl of spicy ramen I'd had in years," Azula snickered. "I suppose that was a rare case where she was surprisingly helpful… even if she kept showing up in the bowl's broth later, too."
"It has to be so surreal… seeing someone that way," Sokka said, frowning. Azula shrugged.
"It's unnerving and stressful. But it makes no matter, my entire life has been exactly that for the past years and I'm still alive and kicking," she said, with a dry grin. "At any rate, enough about my strange experiences. What's this breakfast you're setting up, exactly?"
Azula was surprised to find Sokka had actually packed some food from the Northern Water Tribe upon his venture into the Palace to gather his things. She hummed appreciatively as he offered her what he described as mooncakes, and he handed her a cup of water to down the food, too…
Azula glanced into it with a pang of nervousness: never before had the dreams meant anything deeper. Every time she glanced into her reflection, Yue was there. She always felt the uncertainty of whether she would be or not when she had those unsettling dreams, where Yue appeared to be suffering terrible hardships…
But just as ever, Yue smiled and waved at her when Azula glanced into the water's reflection.
"I didn't poison it, you don't have to look at it like… oh. Oh, wait. Yue?"
Azula raised an eyebrow skeptically at Sokka, as though it was a given that she'd see the Northern Water Tribe Princess in the liquid. It had become such a natural matter to her that she could barely fathom Sokka forgetting about it. He seemed nervous now, swallowing hard and running a hand over his hair.
"You don't need to be so self-aware. She can't see you from that angle," Azula said, with a dry grin. Sokka scoffed.
"You try feeling less self-aware when the person you loved and lost is… potentially looking at you?" he said. "Also, when they're attached to someone who had nothing to do with them, instead of you…"
"I'd hand her over to you in a heartbeat if I knew how," Azula said. Sokka grimaced.
"I know, I know. But spirit mumbo-jumbo makes no sense," he sighed. Azula nodded.
"Truer words," she said, before downing half her drink.
"Oh, uh… good morning, Azula."
"Oops. Nearly swallowed you there, now, did I?" Azula said, pulling the drink back with a mocking grin. "Did you sleep well too? Any happier now that you're traveling with someone you actually like, for whatever reason you do?"
"Heeeey…"
"Well, I was doing that already. It's… well, interesting traveling with you, Azula."
"Interesting. That's a fine choice of words, Princess Yue," Azula sneered. "Admit it, my lifestyle is utterly nerve-wracking for you. I'm sure you're on the edge of your seat constantly, wondering if I'm going to get myself killed one way or another, sooner than later…"
"If she does worry about that, she shouldn't be that scared. Nobody's ever going to catch you, now, are they?" Sokka cut in. Azula smirked at him.
"And if they do, I'll make them regret it," she said. "You're only allowed to exist around us because… well, I'm sure Yue would throw a tantrum perpetually if I dared hurt you. It would be terribly irritating not being able to drink anything or look at myself in any manner of reflective surface without hearing her whine about whatever I did to you… sometimes I'm not even looking and she still so very kindly starts rambling to me anyhow."
"You know, as much as I'd love talking to her… I can't deny it would be a little distressing to see someone everywhere with water or reflective surfaces," Sokka said, with an awkward grin. "Can't imagine how it must be to take a leak and, uh… uh. Ew."
"You really have a worrisome imagination," Azula blinked blankly. "I, uh… shall endeavor to never look at any reflective surfaces whenever I need a bathroom."
"… Well, I don't talk whenever you're in the bathroom because I know you…"
Azula most certainly didn't need to hear whatever Yue would say next: she swallowed her drink fully, and with that, Yue's voice was extinguished. Despite himself, Sokka snorted and raised an eyebrow in her direction.
"Was she revealing something, uh…?"
"Something I most likely didn't want to hear? Yes," Azula said, with a dry grin. Sokka chortled. "She is shockingly naïve in some ways. I suspect she merely wants to be friendly and doesn't understand that doesn't work with someone like me."
"Or maybe that's just the way she is," Sokka said. Azula crooked an eyebrow. "What?"
"You actually think she's not covering up that she hates being stuck with me?" she asked. Sokka frowned. "Don't look at me like that. You're no happier about it than she must be…"
"Wait," Sokka said, raising an eyebrow. "You think Yue… doesn't want to be with you?"
"Why would she be, if she could be with someone she actually cherishes? Like you?" Azula said, simply. Sokka scratched the back of his neck. "I'm under no delusions that anyone would choose to be stuck with me. As far as I know, Zirin couldn't wait to see the back of me by the time she did her mutiny."
"I'm not going to pretend you're talking out of your ass because I know people have been hounding you and chasing you and you haven't had the nicest life…" Sokka said, crooking an eyebrow. "But do you really think nobody would ever willingly choose to be near you?"
"You're not exactly an example to the opposite, are you?" Azula asked, skeptical. "You're here because of her. If Yue weren't around, you'd only want to be near me to shackle me yourself. Much like Zuko would love to."
"I…" Sokka said, frowning.
She wasn't entirely wrong: he had never given a second thought to Azula on a level that didn't relate to how dangerous she was. His first impression of her, back in Omashu, was nothing but confusion over facing a group of girls around their age, in charge of such a delicate operation like trading a child for a king. Then, she had broken out the blue firebending and from that point onwards, she was someone to fear, avoid, or fight should there be no other option. She always seemed wary of him in battlefields, no doubt aware of how dangerous his weapons could be… but ever since the war ended, she had fallen from grace and lost her way. No one had ever regarded her or treated her as anything but a problem to be dealt with since then… and it was clear now that such behavior had taken a real toll on the firebending prodigy.
"Lie to me about this and I will throw you overboard," Azula said, curtly. Sokka sighed, raising his hands.
"I won't lie. I wasn't exactly going to the North Pole with the idea of sitting down for tea and cookies with you," Sokka said. Azula smiled dryly.
"That's progress. A little honesty goes a long way," she said. Sokka snorted.
"Zuko says you always lie, though. Honesty is what you want now?"
"Zuko liked to say that whenever I was telling him truths he didn't want to hear, is more like it," Azula said, giving Sokka pause. "Such as when I told him our father was going to kill him under our grandfather's orders. Funnily enough, now he knows for certain that it was true and he still goes around telling his friends that I always lie. How about that?"
"Well… Zuko's not the sharpest tool in the shed, I'll admit that much," Sokka said. Azula smirked.
"If you're not just saying that to amuse me…"
"I'm not! I've always bickered with him over weird choices he makes, believe it or not," Sokka said. "It's honestly not that hard to see that he could've approached you the wrong way. But you also have to admit, you don't exactly make it easy for people to see who you really are, do you?"
"Why am I expected to do that?" Azula asked, amused. "You're always acting like a fool to mislead other fools into underestimating you. How is it fine when you do that, but when I…?"
"When you act like you would kill people willy-nilly, like you don't care about anything but a throne, when you manipulate your brother into making unhinged decisions with no regard for how that might just bite you in the ass later?" Sokka asked. Azula frowned. "I… I don't want him to reach a point where he stupidly chooses to do something he regrets to you, Azula."
"Why?" Azula asked. "What is it to you if he, I don't know, chooses to execute me alongside my group? Would make your life easier… ah, but I wouldn't be able to communicate with Yue for you. That's right."
"Not like you're doing much of that so far," Sokka said, raising an eyebrow. "You never tell me what she's saying, and when you do, it sounds like you're…"
"Lying? Only once in a while," Azula smirked. Sokka scowled.
"She didn't think I'm not as handsome anymore. You can't convince me of that," he pouted. Azula snickered deviously. "See? You were pulling my hair! Anyone can tell I've actually gotten better with age, Azula! I'm buffer, I've got some facial hair…!"
"What makes you think women like facial hair? Or teenage girls, in her case?" Azula asked. Sokka winced. "Also, heavily muscular men. If Princess Yue liked you lanky and beardless, why would you be any more appealing to her now?"
"You… stop making me second-guess myself!" Sokka squeaked. Azula couldn't hold back another cackle of devious laughter. "Seriously, you…"
She laughed in a rather wicked way… but somehow, it brought a smile to his face too. It was contagious, slightly amusing. She had a mean sense of humor… but even if she was mocking him, Sokka couldn't help but find it slightly funny, too.
"Anyway," he said, trying to stifle his smile. "If you give me reasons beyond Yue to think you're not a hazard to the world…"
"I am one, though. Proudly."
"Then… give me reasons to want to keep you safe so you can continue tormenting your brother?" Sokka asked, with a dry grin. Azula raised an eyebrow.
"Why… why would you want me to do that, exactly?" she asked.
"Because I want to prove a point here," Sokka said. Azula scoffed.
"Well, then… I ought to continue tormenting him because it's funny. That's the main reason for it," she said. "Someone with the temper and lack of restraint of my brother simply cannot have an easygoing, calm and quiet life. It would be terribly unfulfilling. He would always know he's lacking something… and that something is being teased mercilessly by his sibling. Simple as that."
"Okay… let me translate that," Sokka said, blinking blankly before rubbing his forehead with his fingertips. Azula eyed him skeptically as he seemed to work harder and harder on processing her words… until he finally delivered his grand epiphany: "Zuko is too much of a stubborn idiot and he's set in his ways, stuck on reading and interpreting you in one set way, and the only way you can be part of his life is to continue acting exactly as he expects you to. Thus, you continue to torment him as you have because you can take advantage of such situations to give him trouble that deters other people from stirring trouble too… you're protecting him in a rather twisted way. With you as the bad guy, the rebel against his righteousness, the Fire Nation indeed grows stronger because they're banding against you, rallied by Zuko. On a more basic level… you're just the annoying little sister because you don't know what else to be. But ultimately… you care about him, don't you?"
"How dare you…?!" Azula gasped, her face a mask of utter affront and outrage…
Her cheeks flushed slightly. Sokka smirked.
"You…! Shut up!" Azula snapped, the weakest possible comeback she could have offered him. Sokka's smile couldn't have been wider. "That's not what…! Ugh, you're impossible! Your mad interpretations about me are entirely out of place! I have a purpose! I have a right to do everything I have! It has nothing to do with Zuko being my brother or…! Just shut up!"
Sokka shrugged, saying nothing else indeed. Azula glared at him until she couldn't look at him anymore…
Five minutes later, she exploded, and Sokka had to hide his amusement behind a hand.
"Whatever mad fantasies older brothers may have, the truth is you're all pains that we have to bear with! You're our burdens, not the other way around!" she lashed out. Sokka shrugged.
"Maybe so."
"Don't just condescendingly say I'm right! Prove me wrong, damn you!"
"Right, right. That's what you do with Zuko, right? Say things to piss him off and…"
"Quit analyzing me! What do you think you are, damn you?!" Azula scoffed.
"Sometimes I'm, uh, Wang Fire, actually. I helped Aang talk through his problems once!" Sokka declared, proudly, though the grin waned before long. "Or, uh, I thought I had. Maybe I'm doing a better job with you, though!"
"A better job at pissing me off. Unreal. You have no business peering into my business," Azula snapped. "Whatever I do, however I handle Zuko, is not your problem. Or anyone else's."
"Thing is… he has the power to fuck up your life if he ever catches up to you. And he got kind of close this time," Sokka said.
"And I ask again: why would that be of any concern to you? Just because of Yue?" Azula asked, arms folded over her chest.
"Well…" Sokka frowned. "Maybe it really isn't just about her after all."
"Right. It's because you're worried about Zuzu…"
"Azula… this is the first time I've actually talked to you."
Azula frowned, glancing at him in confusion. There was no sign of mirth in his face anymore.
"You mean… the first time you've talked to me with no overt aggressiveness on either side?" Azula asked. "We've exchanged plenty of barbs and jabs at each other. I mocked you over your girlfriend in the underground tunnels, remember? What a fun day that was…"
"It sure was," Sokka said, eyebrow twitching… but he was quick to recognize her intent just as she smirked slightly. "You're trying to take back control. Trying to trigger an emotional reaction out of me. If I recognize it, then…"
"Could you stop?! What's the matter with you?" Azula lashed out. Sokka laughed, hands behind his head.
"This… this is actually way more fun than it has any right to be," he said. Azula snarled. "You're a challenge."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Azula said.
"I mean… it's like we're dueling when we talk. You know?" Sokka smiled eagerly. "Like everything you do or say could be a fake-out, and then you'll attack me through another front once I leave an opening for you to exploit. If I recognize the bluff, you back down and look for another angle. It's… interesting."
"Interesting?" Azula said: her heart felt slightly strange upon hearing that word again, this time from Sokka rather than Yue.
"You have to take some pity on me here, can you?" Sokka sighed, looking at her helplessly. "Do you think I ever have complex conversations with Zuko? Conversations with multiple layers that actually challenge me on an intellectual level?"
"Well… no," Azula admitted, with a cruel smirk. Sokka shrugged.
"The best I can get is Toph, basically, because she's always ready to give as good as she gets and she's got a damn good mind for insults. So at least that's kind of funny. But any bigger ideas, anything less material and corporeal and I lose her just as well, she tells me to shove it, and so on. My sister? Well, there's not much point in trying to get any productive results there because no matter if I'm right, in the end I'm somehow wrong, she wins and I lose. Simple as that."
"And your girlfriend?" Azula asked. Sokka froze. "What, no fun banter there for you either?"
"Heh. Not really," Sokka said. Azula frowned.
"That's an opening, you know? And you're doing nothing to cover it up. I'm being nice right now and giving you a chance to cover it up indeed… do it or I'm going for the kill, Sokka," she said, with a dry grin now. Sokka sighed.
"She gets mad at me, is all," he said. Azula's smile waned. "If I push any banter further, she doesn't know how to respond and… just gets mad at me. Conversation sputters and dies just like that."
"Huh," Azula raised an eyebrow. "Sounds… boring."
That Sokka smiled at her remark should have been an alarming sign, but Azula didn't read it as such right away. He shook his head though, looking at her eagerly.
"You, though… I have the feeling you could go for hours. And somehow, that sounds like fun to me," he said.
"You won't say the same things if I indeed go out of my way to bicker you for hours and you end up losing," Azula said.
"Might be worth it even if I do," Sokka smiled, leaning back on his seat and sighing.
"I suppose you didn't bring up the Avatar because arguing with him is akin to kicking a puppy…" Azula said. Sokka chortled and shrugged.
"That's probably a good way to put it. Though, make no mistake, he has a temper of his own. But he's very much an emotional, spiritual guy. He listens to anything I question and gets filled with wonderment over it but that's about it. Can't get much out of it either."
"Sad. You must be terribly lonely," Azula said. Sokka's smile waned.
"Guess… a bit."
She frowned, glancing at him in confusion. His eyes flickered towards hers too, a smidge of guilt in his eyes… did he feel bad for saying that, when she had been acquainted with far worse loneliness for far longer? Or…?
It struck Azula suddenly that he was choosing to travel with her, someone who wasn't a total stranger simply because they had been enemies for too long for that to be the case. As much as he might pry into her business, he had done very little of opening up, himself. Why hadn't his girlfriend joined him on this journey? Why wasn't she part of his investigations? Why hadn't he tried to argue with his friends, reason with them, so that they could be part of this confusing journey over Yue, too?
Was he as lonely as she was?
"Anyway, uh… sorry if I'm too annoying," Sokka said, with a tight-lipped smile. "I'm not trying to piss you off, believe it or not, I just… was having fun. At your expenses, yes."
"Which would certainly justify me pushing you off the balloon if I cared to," Azula said. Sokka chuckled and nodded.
"Yeah, it'd be fair. But anyway, uh… we're in this balloon indeed."
"Yes."
"Where are we going?"
Azula frowned: they were evidently floating south, but they hadn't chosen any destinations just yet. She frowned as she raised the cup she had emptied earlier, urging Sokka wordlessly to fill it again: she needed to talk to Yue.
The Moon Spirit was quick to smile brightly once she realized Azula had as good as summoned her anew. The utterly ridiculous situation didn't go lost on Azula, even now. She most likely would never grow used to this, truth be told…
"Where are we going?" Azula asked, bluntly. Yue's smile froze on her face. "You said you want to see the world? Well, tell me what you want to see and we'll figure out how to make it happen. But without any directions we're just going to float aimlessly and burn through our fuel, so… care to make matters clear now, Yue?"
"Right, right. I'm sorry. I didn't really tell you what my idea was, and you're on your way nowhere because of that…"
"I don't need rambling apologies, I just need an answer: where are we going? What exactly do you want to see?"
"Oh. Well. I actually… I've thought about it a little bit, while you weren't around, and I realized there's two things I'd like to do. First… well, I want to see a lot of the world, the cities and nations I never could visit while I was alive. But more than that… I want to see the other seasons. Spring, summer, fall… I've only ever known winter. So… that. That's what I want."
"You want to see… the spring," Azula recited, blinking blankly and glancing at Sokka, who frowned at the words. "That's the directive. What do you think we should do to fulfill it? It's not going to be spring up here for another six months…"
"Not in the northern hemisphere… but it is spring in the southern one right now," Sokka said. Azula raised her eyebrows.
"Huh. That's true," she said. "Then… somewhere in the southern hemisphere, but not your home. That's basically winter too, isn't it?"
"Yeah, the Southern Water Tribe isn't exactly what she'll want to see," Sokka said, with a weak grin. "A place with more… flowers, I guess. That's probably the main thing she'd like, right?"
"Is it?" Azula said, glancing at the cup. Yue smiled and shrugged.
"In the south… that would be, well, anywhere below Omashu? I remember the maps, I saw many growing up…"
"Good to know you remember your geography. But yes, that's basically it," said Azula. Yue bit her lip.
"Say… there's one person I don't know much about, but I'd like to. And maybe a good place to start would be by seeing her hometown."
"Uh… who are we talking about, exactly? And where is that hometown?" Azula asked, crooking an eyebrow.
"I mean… Suki. Sokka's girlfriend."
"Huh?!" Azula winced. "Are you… are you a masochist? Yue, why would you…?"
"If she's someone Sokka loves, then… I would like to get to know what kind of person she is. He's going to spend his life with her, isn't he? I… I want to be sure she's a good person. Someone kind, someone good, someone worthy of him…"
"I'm not entirely sure he needs or deserves any of that… but I can assure you that, in all my cruelty, I would never inflict that kind of punishment on him," Azula said, with a grimace.
"What's going on now? I can't hear any of it, Azula," Sokka pouted. Azula grimaced, glancing at him with uncertainty. "Why is she a masochist? What is she asking for?"
"She…" Azula said, breathing deeply and shaking her head. "Well, she wants to meet your girlfriend, apparently."
Sokka's wide eyes spoke for themselves. Azula shrugged, gesturing at the cup in her hand.
"I'm simply saying it's absurd, right? She's your ex, that one's your new girlfriend, why would you want to bring them together at all…?"
"W-well, it's not like you'd scream to Suki that Yue is in a mirror or a water pool or…" Sokka said, running a hand over his hair nervously. "But… wait, she really did say that? You're not just pulling my hair and saying something just to find a weakness to exploit, are you?"
"Oh. So that's what you think I'm doing?" Azula asked, with a sardonic grin. Sokka huffed.
"Well, it's not like you haven't lied about whatever she was saying before, or were you always completely truthful?"
"He's right, you did lie about how I thought he was more handsome before…"
"You… quiet down," Azula snapped at Yue, who huffed and pouted. "Whether I lied before or not, I am telling the truth now and you don't believe me. Who does that remind me of…? Right, that person you called an idiot just a while ago! What does that make you, I wonder?"
Sokka winced: indeed, every conversation with Azula was as good as a minefield… and he refused to step on mines. Even if he set them off, he wouldn't lose his way. He breathed deeply and nodded.
"I… guess I did say that. And it's still true. But come on, cut me some slack here," Sokka said, looking at Azula helplessly. "Why would she ever want to meet Suki, of all people? She can't even meet her properly, to begin with…"
"She said something about getting to know the person you're going to spend your life with," Azula said. Sokka's eyes widened. "And frankly, while I can understand not wanting to take me to Kyoshi Island out of fear that they'll come chasing after us and try to kill me, it's rather odd that you would be so apprehensive about visiting your girlfriend, isn't it?"
"It's… w-well… it's just not the best time, I guess," Sokka said. Azula hummed.
"If this isn't the best time, then when will it be better?" she asked. "Yue wants to see the spring, and she wants to see it in Kyoshi Island. Not doing it now means delaying it a whole year, doesn't it? And who knows if you'll have sorted out your problems by then."
"Yeah, I… yeah," Sokka admitted, grimacing.
"So?" Azula said, raising her eyebrows.
"Wait… problems? What does that mean? Azula… is Sokka okay?"
"I have no idea. He's trying to be mysterious, is my guess," Azula answered Yue, who gazed through the water in anguish.
"Is she worried about me?" Sokka asked. Azula shrugged.
"I suppose she is, but she's been worried about you for years as it is, as far as I understand. Nothing new under the sun."
Her words gave Sokka pause. Azula frowned upon acknowledging as much, reading in his expression that he was distressed over potentially causing Yue's distress, too…
"I'm sorry. There's no real problem, I just… I wasn't expecting this, Yue," he said, with a weak grin. "We can go. I'm sure… I'm sure Suki will understand. I'll make her understand."
The way he spoke carried over none of the confidence his words would have warranted. Yue, however, didn't seem to pick up on that: she smiled brightly, giddily, at a skeptical Azula. The Fire Nation Princess raised an eyebrow, scrutinizing Sokka, wordlessly asking if he truly was fine with this course of action. A new, pained smile suggested he had already made up his mind… and so, the firebender sighed and shrugged.
"Very well, then. We shall set our course for Kyoshi Island."
...
"I don't understand. She should be here by now! We've been in the city for almost a month already!"
"Zuko, maybe they deceived you. Those girls could have done that…" Katara said, with a grimace. Zuko scoffed.
"You're not about to say I should've brought Toph along to interrogate them, are you?"
"Wouldn't have hurt," Katara said, with a shrug.
"She's busy recruiting metalbenders all across the Earth Kingdom, isn't she?"
"Well, I think she's in Ba Sing Se right now? Last thing I knew, at least," Katara said.
"And she was only just returning from Omashu when I told you guys about Azula. And for that matter, you're all busy too! I can't just… pluck you out of your lives for months to no avail, can I?" Zuko groaned, burying his face in his hands.
He sat with Katara, Aang and Bumi in a room within the Northern Water Tribe's Palace. The Avatar played happily with his son, and he shrugged at Zuko's mournful groans.
"I'm having a good time. So is Bumi," Aang grinned.
"Sokka had to go, sure, but he left without a hitch," Katara said, with a sigh. "And with just that weird letter. And he hasn't answered the one I set to him in Republic City yet…"
"See? This is not sustainable! What if Azula is gearing up to attack the Fire Nation while I'm gone?!" Zuko exclaimed.
"You don't have to raise your voice just because you're worried, Zuko," Aang pouted. "Calm down. Katara… do you want to go find Sokka? Would that make you feel better?"
"Would make me feel better to find my sister, too," Zuko growled at him.
"You're not my wife, I'm more worried about her, sorry to say," Aang said, grinning at Zuko. He rolled his eyes, shaking his head and dropping it on his hand as Katara smiled warmly, if with a hint of mischief, at the Avatar.
"I don't know. We could try to go and come back, though? I feel like we can't leave Zuko alone or he's going to lose whatever sanity he's holding onto," Katara pointed out.
"Am I holding onto any?" Zuko asked, shaking his head. "Here I thought it was all gone."
"Huh. That would explain staying here forever, on a single lead with no evidence, across a full month, wouldn't it?" Katara said. "Guess you really did lose your marbles."
"If he did, I could lend him these…" Aang grinned, raising his trick marbles: Bumi squealed happily at the sight of them.
"Da! I want! Da!"
"Here we go! Marble trick, just for you, Bumi!"
Zuko groaned, watching them play, careless about Aang and Katara's playfulness with the child. He couldn't stop thinking about his terrible decision-making… about how Azula never failed to teach him the wrong lessons. He fell into every trap, every pitfall, every…
"Fire Lord Zuko, sir? Fire Lord Zuko!"
Zuko jumped up from the cushion he had been sitting on, as though something had bitten him in the ass. The Fire Nation soldier that barged into the room, pushing past the curtain that hung on its threshold, looked considerably upset about whatever he had to inform him of.
"Did you find something? Did you find her?!"
"My Lord… there are tracks. We just found them, they're most definitely old, but… a hot-air balloon was left outside the city, in a cavern, and then it seems to have been taken away again. It looks like…!"
"Like the one she stole?" Zuko gasped. "The proportions of the tracks you found, they match…?"
"They do, sir. We believe it was her."
"She… she did come here. She came here…!" Zuko exclaimed – Aang and Katara were no longer quite as calm and easygoing as before, rising to their feet too. "And she left again. She… b-but why? What did she…?"
"Wait," Katara frowned. "Wait, Zuko…"
"What is it?" Aang asked her, as the Fire Lord turned towards the waterbender. Katara's eyes shifted from side to side, a hand slipping through her hair.
"A month ago… Sokka left us almost as soon as we arrived, right? And he… he took a bunch of things with him. His luggage, it looked like, but also food, from what the kitchens reported?"
"You think he's chasing after her?" Aang asked.
"Well, it's either that, which I doubt, considering he just wanted to find out what's up with the moon, or…" Katara said. Zuko's eyes widened.
"She… she did not. She could not! She wouldn't…!" Zuko gasped, shivering. The possibility only struck Aang moments later.
"You think… Azula kidnapped Sokka?" Aang gasped.
"She wouldn't have. She couldn't have, though, right?!" Katara asked, with a nervous laugh. "I mean, he picked up his stuff, so… so he had to be leaving deliberately."
"He did leave deliberately, but maybe she intercepted him halfway there," Aang reasoned, frowning. "Which means that Sokka isn't answering your letters because… he's not home. Wherever he is…"
"He's… where she is," Katara said, staring at Aang in horror. "Aang… my brother is Azula's captive? My brother is…!"
"That's… that's it. That's enough!" Zuko snarled, rage swirling inside him. "If this is truly what she's done, she's gone so far out of line that there's no line to speak of anymore! Forget it! We're going to find her, track her down now!"
"Y-yes, Fire Lord! We'll send word…!"
"To every corner of this planet. Every single nation!" Zuko bellowed. "Tell them she's a wanted criminal! Tell them she's traveling with the Avatar's brother-in-law! Send descriptions of them both… and tell them the Fire Nation will pay a massive reward to anyone who retrieves her, dead or alive!"
"D-dead?! Zuko…!" Aang gasped.
"I said… I've had it," Zuko snarled, shaking his head. "I'm done playing her games! I set the rules now! I'm Fire Lord, and she's not getting away with this for another second!"
Katara grimaced – she understood Zuko's anguish and fury… she couldn't, however, imagine ever giving out an order of the sort if her brother went off the rails somehow.
Which he might just have. It looked likely that Sokka's sudden vanishment might be connected to Azula's quick visit to the Northern Water Tribe, somehow… but a wretched, unwanted, guilty thought crossed her mind, and as much as she wanted to swat it away, it didn't go anywhere: what if he hadn't left in duress? What if her reckless, crazy brother had chosen to, somehow, hitch a ride with the Fire Nation Princess…?
There was no way he'd done that. He was busy investigating the moon. He couldn't have been so foolish, no matter if he was angry over how nobody took his problems seriously. He couldn't have joined up with Azula somehow just to get back at everyone for disregarding his concerns over Yue… or could he?
...
A journey on a hot-air balloon sounded far easier said than done. While the vessel was not exactly slow, it wasn't all that fast, either. They ran out of coal eventually, and they spent a fair few days looking for more supplies in the Earth Kingdom – Sokka knew a guy, it seemed he had friends everywhere, even earthbending friends in coal mines in the Earth Kingdom – before setting out anew, aiming to reach Kyoshi Island just as the springtime blossoms bloomed.
Sokka seemed to grow more nervous as they approached, but he held his own as they finally landed by the shore, in a grand cove where, as he explained, they might just witness some gruesome spectacles if the unagi decided to eat an elephant koi or two.
"Fascinating. The fishy princess shall be in the water to witness the carnage, too. Just the way she likes it," Azula mocked Yue as she stepped closer to the shore. Yue pouted, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Maybe the fishy princess can communicate with the fish and tell them not to eat each other," she suggested. Azula snorted.
"Go on, then. I'd like to see how that goes," she said.
"What was that…?" Sokka asked.
"She's biting back when I'm an asshole. Nothing much other than that," Azula said. Sokka chuckled.
"You know, it's weird but the two of you kind of make a fun team," he said. Azula scoffed.
"You take that back."
"I will not," Sokka declared, proudly. "You have about the most pointless things in common and you're completely opposites in just about everything else…"
"Wait. But I'm smart, aren't I? Are you saying Yue is stupid?" Azula smirked: in the water, Yue gasped, and Azula actually cackled at her reaction. Sokka scoffed, bumping her hip with his.
"Jerk. I didn't say that!" he said. "But the obvious points in common between you two is that you're both princesses and…! Uh, that's about it."
"Exactly, and if we're opposites in just about everything else…"
"She's smart too! Just, not in the way you are!" Sokka exclaimed, flustered, as he stalked out of the balloon's basket and approached the shore. "She's kind, and pure, and sweet, and you're mean, rude and… and…!"
"Spicy," Azula decided, smirking. Sokka's cheeks flushed. "What? It's the opposite to sweet, or isn't it? Maybe you wanted to call me salty instead? Acid?"
"You're impossible," Sokka groaned.
"Ah! That means you're possible, Yue! Congratulations!"
To Azula's utter confusion and surprise, though… Yue covered her mouth with a hand and laughed. Azula raised an eyebrow, not suspecting the girl would be amused by her bad joke.
"Well, I… I'm glad that amused you," Azula said. Sokka raised his head, glancing at her in surprise.
"You made her laugh?" he asked. Azula shrugged.
"She has a terrible sense of humor. Like mine, I guess. Or maybe ours. Yours is worse than mine, as far as I understand…" Azula said. Sokka smiled a little, glancing at the water again.
"Well, I'm glad she's happy to be possible. Guess we could go on playing that game later, but… for now, Yue, this is Kyoshi Island. As you can see, there are lots of trees with cherry blossoms this time of the year…"
Azula turned around to look too, just as Sokka was explaining. Yue seemed to struggle to see, but she smiled at every glimpse she got of the flourishing trees at either side of the shore they stood at right now. As much as Azula had expected Kyoshi Island to be nothing noteworthy – and the infrastructure of the towns she had seen as they flew over, towards the southern shore of the island, certainly wasn't –, the natural beauty of the place could not be denied.
"The first time I came here, it was, uh, fall? Maybe late fall," Sokka reasoned, brushing his stubble with a thumb. "And you really couldn't see how pretty it could be just yet. There was a fair bit of snow all over the place too, but most of the trees were pretty dry. I only got to see it like this when I visited later."
"Can you ask him… if he lives here?"
"Yue wants to know if you live in this place," Azula said. Sokka raised his eyebrows.
"Uh, no. I'm living in Republic City right now. Suki… well, she is here, or is supposed to be," Sokka said.
"Won't we go say hi?"
"Oh, this is burdensome," Azula rolled her eyes. "She asks if we won't say hi."
"Well, I thought… maybe later?" Sokka grinned awkwardly. "I figured we'd stay out here for a little longer and enjoy the view! I bet the unagi will show up soon and Yue can show you just how strong her control over fish is by then, right?"
"Right…" Azula said, glancing at the water again: Yue grimaced, and Azula smirked. "Or maybe she was just bluffing."
"I'm not! I… I was completely honest. I can… try?"
"Go on ahead, then, I dare you to…"
Azula couldn't finish the sentence when she heard a whistling sound in the distance.
Before she knew it, though, before she could so much as react, Sokka had tackled her to the ground.
She would have raged at him for it – she fell over a few rocks, and her knee had crashed against a particularly sharp one that had ripped her outfit, perhaps even drawn blood… but a glance to her left revealed around eight arrows, firmly sunken on the ground. They would have pierced their bodies if Sokka hadn't jumped when he did.
"What the…?!" Azula gasped: Sokka, atop her, pushed himself away from her while retaining a protective stance before her…
Turning to face a group of armed women in face paint, bearing dark armor upon their green uniforms.
Sokka snarled as Azula pushed herself up awkwardly: Yue, in the water, appeared to panic over the sudden attack, too.
"Are you okay? Azula…!"
"I'm fine. I'm fine…" Azula as good as mouthed at her, disregarding the pain of her knee.
"Brave of you to show your face around here," one of the Kyoshi Warriors said, startling both Azula and Yue: was she talking about her? Did Kyoshi Island issue a warrant for her arrest too? Or was she talking about…?
Sokka sighed, raising his arms defensively: the Kyoshi Warriors didn't lower their weapons.
"Where's Suki?" he asked. Azula raised an eyebrow: she recalled all too well when he had asked the same question to her, years ago… now, though, the tone with which he spoke couldn't have been more distant from what it had been on that day.
The apparent leader of this group of Kyoshi Warriors lowered her bow, though her hostile demeanor didn't shift yet. The others followed her example.
"She sent us to find out what kind of brigand had snuck into the island on a hot-air balloon. Guess we know now," the warrior said.
"Am I actually a criminal around these parts now?" Sokka asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Maybe you should be," the warrior growled.
"What the hell is going on?" Azula asked, pushing herself up. Sokka gritted his teeth, glancing back at her.
"Don't… just keep your head down. If they notice who you are…"
"Why does it look like they're ready to kill us, even though they haven't?" Azula growled.
"Well…" Sokka said, grimacing…
The answer to that question would be granted sooner than later, Azula supposed.
"Keep your hands up. You too," the warrior said. Azula scoffed.
"Please, do it," Sokka said. Azula rolled her eyes.
"I could set the whole lot of them on fire, just saying. I nearly did once."
"You don't need to do it again. Trust me."
"That's a tall order. I have no idea what's happening here, and I'm not sure I even want to know anymore."
Sokka sighed as the Kyoshi Warriors approached them: without further fanfare, they pushed Sokka and Azula to walk into a small road that eventually led to a humble fishing village, as far as Azula could tell… was that truly the backwater, rundown place Suki had been born to? Kyoshi's great home? It was laughable. Clearly, the Earth Kingdom had no idea how to properly honor its heroes…
They were embarrassingly paraded across the town, and as much as Azula did as Sokka had told her by keeping her head down, the unfortunate truth was that more than one person seemed to grow to suspect her identity rather quickly. None would do so faster than Suki herself, though…
Though the same was true, of course, to someone standing right inside the dojo she and Sokka were dragged to, where the older warriors had been instructing a new group of recruits.
"What…? No!" Ty Lee gasped at the sight of her, losing track of her mission at once. Azula cursed inwardly, rolling her eyes.
"Yue's already dead, but I think I'm going to kill her all over again for putting me through this…" Azula hissed. Sokka growled threateningly at her, and she responded by stomping on his foot.
"Ow! I…! Ugh, behave yourself! And… hey, Ty Lee! Nice seeing you again," Sokka said, with an awkward grimace as he inched away from Azula.
"What are you…?" Ty Lee gasped, hands over her hair. "Sokka, what are you doing here? And with Azula? That's even more messed up than just…! Goodness, we have to send word to Zuko at once, we…!"
"No!" both Sokka and Azula shouted at unison, startling the Fire Nation-born warrior.
"Look, I get how this looks, but this really isn't the time to overreact, Ty Lee," Sokka grimaced. "I know you don't understand what's going on, and I could explain if you let me, but…"
He trailed off when a dojo door, probably the one that led to the leader's office, swung open violently. Both Sokka and Azula watched with apprehension… as a shocked, confused, and ultimately furious Suki stepped into view.
"Sokka," she said. He swallowed hard.
"Hey," was his eloquent response.
"You… you showed up with…?" Suki said, glancing at Azula next. Her face shifted from confusion to disdain and disgust. Azula glared at her with no shortage of both things, too. "Well, isn't that rich."
"You certainly aren't, true," Azula said, with a dry grin. "This place could use a makeover or two. Might want to make a better first impression to first-time visitors such as myself…"
"Azula, stop being rude!" Ty Lee said, frowning. Azula responded with an eyeroll, making an ungodly effort not to raise her middle finger in the woman's direction.
"Don't worry… we sure will be rich, after Zuko pays us for capturing you," Suki said.
"Don't," Sokka said: to Azula's surprise, he stepped in front of her, and he breathed heavily as he gazed at Suki pleadingly.
He was… protecting her. Or rather, he was protecting Yue. Yes, that made far more sense… but he was still standing between her and a hostile party. That, in itself, was odd. A rather unusual experience Azula couldn't quite remember having lived through before. Usually, she was the threat others were protecting their allies from…
"Look… I know this is messy and I know you don't like it, but we need to talk. This is a lot more complicated than it sounds like, Suki," Sokka said. Suki offered him an unamused smile.
"I bet it is. As usual," she said, rolling her eyes.
"What would you rather do?" Ty Lee asked her, worriedly.
"I'll hear him out. Why not?" Suki said, with a dismissive smirk. "Might even help me be sure I've made the right choice all along and everything."
"Make any wrong moves and we will have no mercy," the warrior who caught them by the shore said. Azula scoffed, smirking at her.
"I'm all too aware of what Kyoshi Warrior mercilessness looks like… I can't say I'm scared," she smirked.
"You should be," the girl growled, her bravado failing to find its mark.
Sokka grimaced as he entered Suki's office: as much as they had been together for a long time, he hadn't actually visited this place all that often. Suki had been living in the Fire Nation, on the most part… then, she went to Republic City with him. A little over a year ago, she had returned home, permanently. He had merely visited her once since then… and it hadn't turned out quite as well as he would have liked.
So now, he marched into the room feeling the weight of a lost decade dragging him down to take his seat before Suki's desk. The Kyoshi Warrior Azula seemed to defy so much pushed her to take her seat by Sokka's side, and she didn't bother leaving afterwards, either. Azula scowled, glancing back at the door to find it closed… but there were at least seven Kyoshi Warriors inside the office. Most of them were looking at her, no doubt expecting they would need to subdue her… she wondered if Sokka would even try to help her, if it came to that. He might just back off and roll over, trying to make up for whatever he'd done to piss off Suki so much…
But that, in itself, was a whole other matter. Azula had sensed he wasn't being truthful about everything whenever the subject of Suki came up, but she hadn't anticipated anything quite like this. Had he cheated on her? Not that she'd blame him much, if he had. As averse as she was to betrayals, she had no love for the Kyoshi Warrior. Someone who treated her own boyfriend as a criminal probably didn't deserve much pity, anyway.
"Explain yourself," Suki growled, standing on the other side of the desk, refusing to take her seat. Moreover, one of her hands rested on her sword's hilt. Sokka gritted his teeth. "The last I knew, you were her prisoner. A campaign to hunt her down is underway, did you know that?"
"You… what? I was her prisoner?" Sokka frowned, glancing at Azula in confusion. She hummed, reclining carelessly on her chair.
"Let me guess… my dear brother picked up on the fact that I was, indeed, in the Northern Water Tribe. Your departure, by just leaving a suspicious letter, brought him and his friends to assume that I took you against your will," Azula said, with a wild grin. "Funny that he'd be so shortsighted. If I had wanted to take you that way, there would have been no letter to begin with."
"The wanted poster reached us barely yesterday," Suki said, spreading it before their eyes: Azula scowled at the sight of the unpleasant depiction of her facial features, which appeared to emphasize her mental instability with marks under her eyes and disorderly hair.
"Could've given me a smidge of dignity, the bastard," she hissed.
"I'm not entirely sure you deserve any, but frankly? You're not much of my concern right now," Suki said, surprising Azula. "You didn't take him against his will?"
"Nope," Azula said. Suki smiled unpleasantly… and then turned her attention to Sokka.
"Then I have no real qualms with her. If anything, maybe I should thank her," Suki said, dropping the poster and glaring at Sokka intently. "Otherwise, I guess I might have seen you again in, what, a decade? How long before you finally wrapped your head around the embarrassment you left in your wake, Sokka?"
"I…!" Sokka grimaced, covering his face with his hands. "Look, Suki, I'm sorry! I've told you so in every letter I sent you, but…!"
"You could have said it to my face. You should have said it to my face. And yet… even that isn't something you deigned to give me, is it?" Suki said: her voice gave away just how badly hurt she was. Azula blinked blankly, folding her arms over her chest and eyeing her uncomfortable traveling companion.
In doing so, her eyesight traveled a little further: a small mirror hung by the wall, an ornament, perhaps connected to superstition of some sort. Naturally, Yue's face peeked out of it, and she looked as confused and troubled by this sudden upset as Azula was. Sokka breathed out slowly and gazed at Suki with remorse.
"You're right. I fucked up, and I've been doing exactly that, constantly, for months," he said.
"For years, I'd rather say," Suki said. Sokka nodded.
"True. More accurate that way," he said. "But if you want to talk about this, don't you think maybe we ought to…?"
"Sokka, if I'm alone with you I might just end up beating you to a pulp. So no, I don't think so."
"Suki…"
"Let's go back in time for a minute and think about what brought us here, can we?" Suki said, arms folded over her chest. "You urged me to leave my job as Zuko's bodyguard so that I could move with you and live in Republic City. After many years of insisting on it, and by insisting, I mean basically every conversation we had, which weren't actually that many, suggested that we were only growing so distant because we weren't around each other constantly…!"
"Well, that's what I thought then! But…!"
"But what? By the time you finally had me to yourself, you realized you didn't actually want me at all?" Suki asked. Sokka grimaced.
"I got busy! A lot! It's not like being a council member in growing a city is easy, and honestly, I thought you'd want to involve yourself in…!"
"In the political side of things? Why, I didn't. I was ready to retire as a Kyoshi Warrior and start a life with you… and you weren't ready to do the same."
"Well, come on, now! How do you expect we would've gotten by if I had done the same thing? I would've had no job, no income, no way to buy a house or afford basic food…!"
"As if you couldn't have gotten a less demanding job: you don't even like politics!" Suki exclaimed, rolling her eyes. "You were miserable, grumpy, constantly in the shittiest mood and I got sick of it! More so once you started rambling about how the moon was acting up! Oh, the moon, everything's about the moon, we sure have time for the moon but not for the girl you actually were with…!"
"Suki, don't…" Sokka snarled: Azula glanced at Yue, who covered her face in apparent horror.
"And when I left because I was sick of it… you come to Kyoshi Island!" Suki smiled. "Just as I'm getting my life together, you decide you have to try to win me back somehow… and you sure tried, for two weeks you were the best you ever had been with me! You pushed yourself, you forced yourself to be the perfect boyfriend, of course you did! And then… and then, after the biggest festival, in which you even involved yourself, you organized a bunch of things, you helped make it the liveliest the island ever saw, you went down on one knee…!"
Azula's jaw dropped, glancing at Sokka in confusion: he was engaged? He had proposed to Suki? Why had he never…
"And said nothing."
Oh. Then he hadn't proposed after all.
"Suki, I'm…! You have no idea how bad I feel about it, you really don't, but…!"
"Don't give me your bullshit now," Suki said, shaking her head. "It was your chance to prove you wanted to be with me. That the moon wasn't the core and center of your entire existence, that you could love me for who I was and not just use me as some sort of rebound…!"
"How could you be a rebound after ten years of relationship? Suki, I loved you!"
"You did, now, did you? So why didn't you ask me to marry you? Why, Sokka, did you stop short of doing exactly that when you had the chance?"
Azula grimaced: it was hard to believe that Sokka had a problem of this magnitude… and that Suki apparently was completely correct to say that she had nothing to do with it. If the situation had any less importance, she might have joked around and asked for snacks with which to enjoy the argument… but even Azula knew better than to do that right now. Yue's anguish in the mirror actually moved a fiber in Azula's heart… the girl was anguished. She was terrified. When she had lost her way over that comet's appearance, when she had connected with Azula as she had… Sokka had seemingly lost his willingness to spend his life with Suki. Her problems, whatever they were, had caused his…
"Suki… no answer I give you will help," he said. Suki gasped, looking at him in disbelief. "I thought I was ready. I chickened out. And you know why I ran away?"
"Why, probably because the entire island would have hunted you down otherwise?"
"Because I would have done it again!"
Suki froze. Azula grimaced as Sokka rose to his feet, gritting his teeth, fists tight.
"I wasn't ready. I might never be ready. I wanted to be the man you deserved, I tried! But I failed. No man would chicken out at that stage when he's sure of what he wants in life. And I thought I was sure… but I wasn't. I hesitated. You don't deserve to be with someone who hesitates. Someone who doubts they're making the right choice when it should be the best choice they ever made."
"You… you were questioning that you wanted to marry me, then, right as you were on your knees?" Suki asked, with a dry grin. "Well, why didn't you think about that before going down on one knee indeed? Why couldn't you spare me the humiliation, the fury, and just say to my face that you were done with me?!"
"I… I was stupid," Sokka said.
"Understatement of the century," Suki growled.
"I never wanted to break your heart," he said. "But I… I didn't know I could walk away until I did it. I didn't think you'd want me in your life again after that."
"No kidding, I don't. I frankly don't," Suki said. Sokka gritted his teeth. "And you're here now with… the most absurd kind of company, hoping that I'll forgive you, maybe? Whatever you came here to do…"
"That's not why I'm here."
Azula winced: she glanced at him almost pleadingly, trying to get through to him. Sokka ignored her, and Azula shook her head: if he was hellbent on digging deeper once he was in a hole, she sure wasn't going to stop him…
"I… may have learned something about what was going on," Sokka said, gritting his teeth. "With… with the moon."
"Ha! Fascinating. And you thought I'd want to know that?" Suki smirked, derisively. "How very nice of you to drop by in person to do that. You could've written a letter to say whatever you found out instead…"
"This is… difficult to explain," Sokka said, gritting his teeth.
"No doubt. Because I can't see how it involves Azula in the least," Suki said, harshly.
"Would you feel better if I explained that part myself…?" Azula offered. Sokka shook his head.
"Thanks, but no thanks," he said.
Azula shrugged: that was about all the generosity she would offer him… no doubt, he expected her to tell the story in such a way as to make matters look worse than they were. She might have done that out of sheer amusement over chaos… but she wasn't quite sure she wanted to stir the pot of Sokka's estranged relationship with Suki any further. Her personal inexperience with relationships made these waters particularly awkward to navigate…
"Something's actually happened to the Moon Spirit. We don't know what," Sokka said, firmly. "But Azula… somehow has become the host of Yue's spirit? To a fault?"
"She… what?" Suki said, glancing down at Azula in confusion. Azula blinked blankly, offering her a dry grin and a small wave.
"That doesn't make any sense," Ty Lee said, stepping closer and staring at Azula intently. Her intervention soured Azula's smile all over again. "That can't be true, Sokka, she only has her usual awful aura, no one else's…!"
"Maybe Yue's aura is as awful as mine and that's why you can't see it," Azula said, with a dry grin.
"Is it, really?"
The reflection of Yue in the mirror might have spoken… but Azula saw her silhouette awkwardly reflected on Ty Lee's dark breastplate, instead. She huffed, shaking her head – of course Ty Lee would decide everything was a lie. Someone as dishonest as her, judging others over dishonesty, was certainly a dark joke...
"It's not as simple as what you think. I don't mean that Yue is like… inside Azula as literally as that," Sokka said. "She sees her in mirrors or reflective surfaces. Like metal, or water, or…"
"She's in your armor right now, actually," Azula said, grinning in a most unpleasant way at Ty Lee, who winced and looked down at her breastplate. Yue swallowed hard and waved, even, but nobody could see it besides Azula, as always.
"You… you're joking," Suki said, looking at Sokka skeptically. "You're not seriously trying to tell me you believe that…!"
"Azula knows things she can't possibly know otherwise," Sokka said, looking at Suki helplessly. "Things I… never told anyone."
"Ah. Of course," Suki said, with a dry grin. "I bet it's got to be real fun, sharing stories about your first love with Azula. No doubt she's very understanding and empathetic and… and everything I never was, apparently, huh?"
"Suki, you didn't exactly make it easy for me to open up to you either, so as much as I'll own up to my shit, please own up to yours," Sokka snapped. Suki scoffed. "I can't get over what happened with Yue just because it'd be more convenient if I did. It's something I'm bound to feel guilty over until the day I die…!"
"Then tell Azula to convey all those concerns to Yue, why don't you?" Suki said, sarcastically. "I'm sure Yue will tell you it's all fine, she forgives you! She has no trouble accepting you again after you spent ten years with me, surely! But me, I'm the jealous fiend who can't even fathom her boyfriend having a first love that wasn't her… because, you know what, maybe that really is what I am! Because you were mine! Because I met you first, and somehow you latched onto her in a way that you never did over me!"
"Suki, if I'd just broken things off with Yue, this wouldn't be the mess it is," Sokka said, fiercely. "I didn't just end a relationship: she died in my arms! How do you expect me to just get over something like that?!"
"I don't know, but clearly, I'm out of line. And I'd like to extend that to being out of your life, next," Suki said. Sokka closed his eyes, shaking his head too. "It's a damn formality to say it at this point… but it's over. I'm done with this. I'm done with you. I'm sick and I'm tired of this nonsense… and I can't stand another second of being second place to a goddamn orb in the sky. I'm done."
"Fine," Sokka said. Suki scowled at him. "It's over. Find someone who can give you everything you want, Suki. You deserve that much."
"I'd say so do you… but you don't know what you want to begin with. You're bound to just take Azula on some ridiculous journey that will break her so she'll end up fully possessed by Yue and then… then you'll get to be with her again! Is that what your plan was, by any chance? Because considering how obsessed you are with her…!"
"Could you stop talking about her, about me, that way?!" Sokka exclaimed. "I'm not a monster, Suki!"
"Hard to tell lately," Suki snapped. Azula winced upon hearing those words. "You've done enough breaking my heart as it is. Might be it was about time I did it right back. Honestly, I'm glad you came. I'm glad I could say all of this to your face. Goodbye, and good riddance."
"That's… that's it?" Sokka asked, with a dry grin. "You're letting us leave, just like that?"
"Ah, right. She's a wanted criminal. I'll let Zuko know she was here, if that's what you…"
"No! That's exactly the opposite of what I… Suki!"
"Why shouldn't I tell him? In fact, why shouldn't I restrain her so Zuko can collect her, and then I could feed you to the unagi? That might actually make me feel better," Suki said, with a dry grin.
"Well, goodness… someone's trying to give me a run for my money," Azula said, staring at Suki with wide eyes. Her words actually gave her pause. "Feeding your boyfriend to the unagi? Or ex-boyfriend, as the case might be… that's something else entirely."
"I'm sure you'd relate if you'd ever had a relationship like this. But that would require finding someone who could stand to be in close proximity to you for longer than five minutes," Suki said. Azula smirked.
"Well, Sokka and I have been on this journey for well over a month now. Sounds like I've had more intimacy with him than you in recent times, huh?"
Suki's glare was fierce… but this time, Sokka didn't step in to stop Azula from saying outrageous things. Instead, he stood in place, brow furrowed, clearly displeased and disappointed.
"We're not here because we want to mock you or ridicule you. In fact, now I realize why it looked like Sokka never wanted to come here in the first place," Azula said, with a dry grin. "We came here… because Yue wanted to see the spring. To see the world she never had a chance to when she was alive. And she can't just pass over from me to someone else, because trust me, I've tried to make it happen and it hasn't. So, if Sokka wants to fulfill Yue's last will, he has to do it with me, like it or not."
"If any of this is true, and I sincerely struggle to believe it could be…" Suki said, glaring at Azula. "Why here? It's spring in a lot of other places in the world. You didn't have to bring her here, if she's even there at all and you're not just conning Sokka somehow…"
"Frankly, if I wanted to con someone, I'd pick someone a lot easier to deceive than this annoyance," Azula said. Sokka grimaced: was that a compliment or an insult? Was it both? "It'd be too much work, don't you think? But at any rate… we're not here because Sokka missed Kyoshi Island's spring: it's because Yue wanted to know what this place was like. She wanted to know… what Sokka's girlfriend was like."
Suki froze in place: she didn't believe any of it… but Azula's words gave her pause, even so.
"One hell of a first impression you've made, I dare say," Azula smirked. "Guess she'll be happy to know there's no more competition over Sokka's heart anymore, if nothing else. And of course, having the unagi eat him means she'll meet him in the Spirit World that much sooner and they'll get away with being together forever while you're…"
"Shut up!" Suki snapped.
"Azula…" Sokka said, eyeing her pleadingly now. She shrugged, raising her hands innocently.
"I'm just saying…"
"What is any of this to you, though?" Ty Lee asked: Azula's mood darkened again as she glared at Ty Lee.
"I could very well ask you the same thing. Doesn't even make sense to me that you're here at all, in Kyoshi Island, but it's even less logical that you'd be in this room right now… nobody called you in, so you can very well leave so neither of us has to bear with being in each other's presence for longer than necessary. That's about as civilized as I'll be with you."
Ty Lee gritted her teeth, tearing her gaze away from Azula. The fallen Princess scowled before turning her attention to the irate Suki again.
The leader of the Kyoshi Warriors let out a cry of frustration, kicking at her desk in irritation as she covered her face in her hands: she had too much information to process, too much anguish to work through. Clearly, she didn't want to do it right now, in front of them.
"I… I'll let you go. Both of you," she said. Sokka's eyes widened. "I don't… don't care how true your damn stories about Yue may be. I don't. I'm done with this, done with you, and you're going to get lost and not return until I finally feel like I can exist anywhere near you again, Sokka. And I will tell Zuko…"
"Suki, please don't. I beg you, as much as you may hate me…!"
"You have one day before I send word," Suki said. Sokka froze. "Nobody… nobody will bother you until then. Get out of this island, go wherever you care to, and stay away from me. That's all you need to do. Am I clear?"
"You… yeah. Loud and clear," Sokka said, frowning: it hardly felt like generosity… but that certainly was as good as he'd ever get from Suki by now. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry it came to this."
"No, you're not."
Azula's chest tightened: she'd heard those same words once before, just after she offered an apology of that nature. It had been false, when she spoke it… it wasn't, in Sokka's case. In neither case, however, it changed that the person they spoke to had refused to believe them by principle alone.
"Get out. And for your sake, leave before I regain my senses and have you chained and locked down for Zuko to take you to face his justice," Suki said, glaring at Azula.
"Very well," Azula said, raising her hands defensively and standing next to Sokka. "Let's walk back-to-back, shall we? I'm not sure I trust them not to try to stuff us full of arrows again. Though, do tell, what exactly would you have told Zuko if your troops had killed me by accident?"
"What makes you think that would have been a problem?" Suki said, raising an eyebrow. "I suppose I'd have to answer to Katara if I killed her brother, but you?"
She handed Azula the wanted poster. Azula's heart pounded with anxiety as she pulled it open, not focusing on the picture this time…
Wanted: dead or alive.
Her eyes widened. A burst of fear, one she had experienced sparsely, bloomed a lot more powerfully than before. Sokka clasped the poster, gasping upon reading its contents.
"Feel free to take it," Suki said, dismissively. "I don't particularly care to collect paintings of Azula. Just get out now, I… I can't look at either of your faces anymore."
Sokka gritted his teeth. He urged Azula to get going, placing a hand on her shoulder and guiding her away. He reached the doorway, knowing all the Kyoshi Warriors were watching him, and he cast a final glance at Suki.
She held his gaze for one moment. Regrets, pain, confusion poured between them… things had soured beyond belief, beyond repair. One day, perhaps, they might be friends again. One day, perhaps, they might build bridges, if just small ones. But as far as their relationship was concerned, there would never be another chance for them. Unlike Zuko and Mai, and their countless breakups and returns to each other, this was it for Suki and Sokka.
"Goodbye," Sokka said, finally.
Suki might have expected something else. Something more vindictive, something more cruel… but that was cruel enough to make her snarl, covering her face with her hands as she wept at the loss of the one man she had truly loved. He walked away without offering her any comfort. Not that she would have taken it, if he had offered any at all. He had a destiny that didn't involve her, Suki had suspected and feared as much for a long time… but now she was entirely certain of it. Their relationship would never recover from a blow as harsh as this one had been… and that would be for the best. She had already known they were over… it was as good as a formality to confirm as much.
But to think he had been with Azula for over a month… to think he could stand to be with someone as dangerous, as unhinged, as wild as her, but not Suki? When he finally had tried, he had wound up running away. Why? What had she done wrong? Why had she lost him? Why…?
She glanced at the mirror Azula had constantly glanced at. Fear reared its head again… as she wondered if, perhaps, Yue had wanted to find out whether Sokka's girlfriend was worthy of him or not. If their twisted story was true at all… then she would likely conclude the opposite, instead. Suki had envied Sokka's bond with Yue, resented it… she had never been able to understand or accept it. She had wanted to be his first love… she had wanted to be his only love. Her failure to accept Yue, to show Sokka that he could trust her, that he could talk to her about the Princess of the Northern Water Tribe, that he could open up to her and she'd embrace it… was that why they had failed? Was that why their love had crumbled? Was it her fault? Or was it his?
Was it simply that they just weren't meant to be?
The town wasn't much to look at, Azula thought so again as they marched through it and out into the wilderness anew. It was already growing darker by the time they returned to the same shore where they had nearly been shot full of arrows: Kyoshi Warriors watched them from afar, as though to ensure they would indeed leave, as they were supposed to. Azula glared at them before focusing on Sokka again. He sighed, approaching the water anew… and dropping on his knees in the sand. A heavy frown decorated his face as Azula sat beside him, legs crossed.
"I… didn't quite expect that to turn out so poorly," Azula said. "But I did read from your behavior all along that you didn't really want to come here."
"I didn't. I also didn't think failing to propose to your girlfriend was a capital offense in this island, but what do I know?" Sokka said, dropping heavily on the sand, falling on his back. "I didn't tell you because… well, who wants to admit something that embarrassing in the first place? But I honestly didn't know for sure that it was over, simply because we never made it official that it was…"
"Running away from your lover for about a year sounds a little official to me," Azula said. Sokka sighed.
"It's complicated, okay?" he said. "There's… a lot more baggage here than you think. For one thing, well… the truth is I wasn't ready for a relationship when I got together with Suki. Yes, it started as a rebound, without a doubt, and I thought it'd be good for me. But then you captured her and I kind of took for granted that you'd have killed her, so…"
"You did?" Azula asked, raising an eyebrow. "Is that why you started crying when I told you she wasn't dead?"
"Well… it meant I had failed her. I hadn't tried to save her, had I?" Sokka sighed. "I never even thought about doing it. And then? After Zuko joined us, I… I asked him where important prisoners would be taken. Which is how I wound up at the Boiling Rock."
"Ah, yes. Fun times," Azula said, bitterly.
"I know that place has to be a nightmare to think about, for you," Sokka said. "But on my end, the truth is that I… I didn't go to the Boiling Rock to find Suki, Azula. I was looking for my dad."
Azula froze. She blinked blankly, glancing at Sokka in confusion. He covered his face with his hands, groaning in irritation.
"I wanted… to find him and make up for how I'd failed him. He got captured in the invasion, and I felt so guilty and… and when we got there? I didn't find him, but I found Suki, at first. I rolled with the punches, you know, but… a part of me always wondered if she'd have wanted me back at all, if I ever told her the truth."
"Did you never tell her…?" Azula asked. Sokka shook his head. "Huh. My, my…"
"It sounded like a bad idea at every point in time. Things were never going as well between us as they might have looked like," Sokka said. "At first, because I basically never really needed to be with her, and it was just fun to come across her whenever our paths converged, you know? Like… like your picking coins out of fountains, maybe."
"Pfft. So Suki was a lucky coin lying on the pool before you?" Azula asked, amused. Sokka groaned.
"Sounds like an awful metaphor but most of all because it still… feels true," he sighed, pushing himself back up to a sitting position. "I decided we could do better than that eventually, right? That's why I spent so long trying to convince her to come join me in Republic City. But… things weren't exactly great after she moved in, you know? She had her way of doing things, and I had mine. And the conflicts we got into weren't exactly fun. She always had her way in the end, but always got so upset when we clashed to begin with and… it felt awful. Like I couldn't do anything right. And maybe I couldn't, but maybe I just stopped trying… because I was sick of working for something that never made sense. I constantly found myself thinking… is this what I was looking for? Is this what love is supposed to be like? And… and I guess after she got sick of it and left, I convinced myself that it had to be. That I had to prove I would be there for her. So, I came here, and I tried my damn best. I did everything her way. I never questioned anything again. I agreed with everything she said, and I…"
"You were killing your own spirit just to ensure hers would thrive?" Azula concluded. Sokka gritted his teeth, closing his eyes tightly too.
"And when it came down to it… marrying her meant doing that for the rest of my life," Sokka said, glaring at the horizon. "I thought… it wasn't fair, was it? And on top of that, the moon had started acting up. The real reason why she left Republic City exactly when she did? It's because I was worried about it. Instead of offering to help somehow, or providing comfort, or… anything? She just… got jealous, I guess. I don't know why she never could wrap her head around my relationship with Yue. It might be my fault because I never opened up about it in the first place… but she didn't exactly make it easy either."
"Why?" Azula asked, raising an eyebrow.
"The first time I nearly kissed her, well… I had told her I lost someone I loved. I meant Yue," Sokka said. "She said she could relate because she liked someone who 'went away'. She was obviously flirting and talking about me and… and it felt like all she wanted was to be with me, which, you know, that's flattering! But she never really stopped to understand why I wasn't ready. It… it didn't seem to matter much that I wasn't. And I forced myself to go for it because… I thought it'd help. I thought that I might learn how to move on if I was with someone else. But I didn't."
"You've been with her for all this time while feeling… like you can't truly be yourself with her, then?" Azula asked, folding her arms over her chest. "Well, that almost makes it sound like I'm far better off staying single as I have been all this time. Beats having to deal with that kind of nonsense. I have enough problems in my life as it is."
"I'd tell you you're missing out, but unless you actually can bond with someone who's ready to go the distance for you, and for whom you'd do the same? Yeah, maybe it's not," Sokka sighed.
"Is… is that what you and Yue were like, then?" Azula asked. She glanced at the water, and she saw Yue's refracted reflection in it. It was hard to judge her reactions from this angle, so close to the water…
"Honestly? I don't know," Sokka admitted, with a sad smile. Azula raised an eyebrow. "I know I was ready to do anything for Yue, far faster than I was for Suki. I didn't need to talk myself into doing it, it came out naturally. But… I don't know if she felt the same way. I don't know if she ever really loved me to the point where she'd do anything for me. Maybe… maybe I wouldn't have loved her as much, if she had."
"Wait, what?" Azula blinked blankly.
"She loved her people, Azula. She loved her city, her hometown, her family… I wasn't the only one who lost Yue when she became the Moon Spirit," Sokka said, gazing at the darkened moon again: it hovered before them, in the twilight sky. "And if she had not made that sacrifice just because she wanted to be with me, well… the world as we know it would have been ravaged by the Ocean Spirit and we'd all be dead, likely. So… she made the right choice. I wasn't the right choice for her… just as I'm not for Suki. I probably never was. She's better off without me."
"Well… I'd rather say you're better off without her," Azula told him. Sokka smiled a little, looking at her in disbelief. "Truly, though… someone who stifles you to that extent should not be your partner. I would never stand for it."
"You're too headstrong for that. I ought to learn a thing or two from you," Sokka chuckled.
"Finally, someone realizes that. You're certainly smarter than most, Sokka. Congratulations," Azula smirked, and he laughed even louder.
That he could laugh at all after a break-up was quite surprising. Perhaps ending that relationship was more akin to loosening a heavy weight upon his shoulders… Azula bit her lip, nudging him lightly with her foot by swaying it to the side, bumping it into his boot.
"Are you alright with this?" she asked. "All of it? It almost feels like… you were ready for the break-up to happen by now. But if you're not feeling up for this weird journey of ours anymore…"
"I thought you'd be more upset to know we're being hunted now. Especially on those terms," Sokka said, glancing at her with unease. Azula scoffed.
"Well, Zuzu has decided to come out and play, I suppose," she said. "Not that I'm all that worried or scared. He's about as threatening as a tadpole. At worst he'll spread some disgusting disease on me, but…"
"You're sure you want to underestimate him to that extent?" Sokka asked. Azula scoffed.
"Underestimate?" she said.
"He has the power of his entire nation behind him," Sokka said. "And he's in good terms with the other nations' leadership too. He has a terrible temper. And I don't know if his patience has really run its course by now."
Azula frowned. She glanced at the wanted poster she was still holding: the art was outrageous, the threat of death was preposterous… but was it that genuine? Did Zuko truly not care whether she was alive or dead anymore?
"Do you really think he… he's reached that point now?" Azula asked. Sokka gritted his teeth upon hearing genuine fear in her voice. "I mean… I could fight him. I know I could. I'm stronger than him, always have been, but… I suppose, if he catches me off guard? Or, of course, if he reaches out to you in secret and convinces you to turn on me…"
"He would fail," Sokka said, simply. Azula huffed.
"So confident and certain, are you?" she said. "Why should I trust that you'll never turn against me?"
"Well… for starters, I don't want to," Sokka said. Azula raised her eyebrows. "Like I said, our conversations are about the best ones I've had in… well, maybe ever. Might be the only thing that rivals this is when me and my dad discuss anything we're both really interested in, but that's different anyway…"
"So, I have to live on for you to talk to me. I could do that from the inside of a jail cell, now, couldn't I?" Azula said, skeptically. Sokka smiled.
"You could. But then you wouldn't be able to take Yue on this crazy trip and we'd all be poorer for it," he said. Azula huffed.
"Of course. Well, I suppose I owe you something after all, fishy princess," Azula said: Yue grinned from the water, as good as clapping enthusiastically, and Azula smiled before shaking her head. "Be as cheerful as you want to be… the truth is you're sorry for how things turned out here, aren't you?"
Yue's enthusiasm reeled back, and she sighed.
"I… I didn't know Sokka was going through something so difficult. I guess neither did you, so… we had no warning. We really didn't. Say… you should scold him for me."
"Scold him?" Azula repeated. Sokka raised his eyebrows as Yue pouted.
"We deserve his honesty. We're all in this together, aren't we? If… if he's troubled, or in pain, or anguished, he should tell us about it. It's only right. If we can help him sort it out, we will. If we can't, well… we'll just sit in silence with him and let him know he's not alone."
"Huh," Azula said. "Well, Sokka, it appears you pissed her off."
"I… what?" Sokka said. Azula chuckled as Yue scrambled to contradict her.
"Fine, it's not quite as bad as that… but she says you need to come clean about complicated, difficult, troubling things," Azula said. Sokka gazed at her in confusion. "She says we'll help you sort it out. Now, I don't know who exactly told her she could make that kind of decision for me, but she appears to be making it anyway…"
"Oh, please! You're sitting with him by the beach, talking out his problems, talking about yours! Even if I hadn't said anything about helping Sokka from now on, you'd already have done it without my prompting you!"
Azula had no answer for that. Yue didn't often lash out, but it was even rarer when she could leave her speechless too. Sokka blinked blankly, recognizing Azula was reacting to something… not realizing what it was, however.
"What happened now?" he asked. Azula grimaced.
"She's, uh, accusing me of being dishonest about that last thing, I suppose," Azula said. "Didn't really notice I was being quite so nice to you. No worries, Sokka, it won't happen again…"
"I wouldn't mind if it did."
"Hence why it won't."
Sokka chuckled, shaking his head and relaxing on his forearms again. Azula glanced at him wistfully, somehow uncertain about their silence now, even if it shouldn't have bothered her.
"I… never realized things between you and Suki weren't all perfection, even though it makes enough sense that they weren't," Azula said. Sokka shrugged.
"Eh… happens at times. Not everyone can be like my sister and Aang, clearly," he said. Azula sighed.
"Clearly," she repeated. "You've had worse luck with these things than I have, feels like."
"Why? Never had a boyfriend who turned into the moon? Or one you dated liberally and weirdly for ten years only to realize you actually made no sense together, leading you to run away right before a marriage proposal?" Sokka asked, with a bright, sarcastic grin. Azula snorted.
"Never had a boyfriend at all, rather," she said. Sokka's eyebrows rose. "I've never really… had anything of the sort. So it's difficult to fathom your point of view, I'd say. It doesn't make a lot of sense for you to be this devoted to Yue after she died, as far as I can tell. You get nothing out of it. You cut things off with Suki and you seem to think it'll be for the best for her, too… I would dare say she's not entirely certain of that, considering her last-minute leniency. Apparently, you're a better catch than you appear to be."
"Why, thank you. That's about the nicest thing you've ever said about me," Sokka said, with a dry grin. Azula bowed her head towards him.
"I do try," she said, mockingly. He laughed, shaking his head. "My point is, though… judging by what you've been through, it feels like it's not worth it. You're putting in efforts that will yield no results… Yue can't come back, can she? Even if you help her experience and see everything she couldn't… there's no true reward for what you're doing, is there?"
"Love isn't about rewards," Sokka said. Azula frowned. "At least, not for me. When I love someone, I want what's best for them. I want them safe, happy, healthy… at peace. If Yue has been anguished over my life, over how I've handled my romantic partners, over how I've been suffering over what's going on with the moon? I'd definitely like to appease her and help cheer her up. I don't know if I can get my life together… but if it'll help her find peace of her own, I'd love to do it."
"You want a decent life… for other people's sake, rather than your own?" Azula asked, skeptical. Sokka smiled awkwardly.
"Guess you're about to call me an idiot for that, are you?"
Azula grimaced, though she didn't say anything this time. Sokka raised an eyebrow. Her gaze drifted towards the water… then she shook her head abruptly.
"I was told… that what you've described is not love. So perhaps you've deceived yourself all along… or those who said that to me were mistaken, but that seems unlikely."
"What?" Sokka said, pushing himself up fully. "What does that mean?"
"It means… that kind of devotion is something I'm familiar with," Azula said, with a shrug. "You give and you give, you do everything for the other person with absolutely no concern as to whether your efforts are reciprocated or not. And if it kills you, if it destroys you? That's the least of your concerns. It's worth it, you think… and then some smug know-it-all pretending to be a medical expert shows up to tell you that all those things are terribly unhealthy and that that's not love at all, that you are not loved, that you were never loved, and that what you were doing wasn't love either. So… I'm sorry to say that you might be as lost in life as I am. A sad place to be in, isn't it?"
Sokka frowned, sitting upright properly again. He seemed to mull her words over for a moment, and Azula eyed him skeptically as he did.
"You're talking about your father, aren't you?" he asked. Azula winced, tearing her eyes from him again.
"It's not just him," she said. "My… my nation, altogether. I… I did everything I could to fulfill my duty. None of it went against our code, our belief system. But in comes Zuzu, breaking every precept, every doctrine, allied with our long-time enemies, pretending to be the answer, the beacon that the nation should follow… and they do exactly that, without questioning it just because he has a crown on his head. No one… no one fought for me. No one protested my treatment. No one demanded that I, the truly loyal child of the Fire Lord, was given any dignity. I was stuck in a damnable straight jacket, fated to rot in that damn place until Zuko… until he needed me for his own ends. And to hell with what I wanted, what was good for me, what I deserved, what I was owed…! None of it mattered. None if it has ever mattered. I'm just… the annoyance to be rid of. The pest that assails and burdens the poor innocent people with her antics and her madness. Why… why did I do any of what I did during the war? Why did I follow my father's beliefs and constantly fulfilled his expectations when he discarded me just as well? He must be brimming with pride over Zuko right now… the son he made stronger by treating him like a pebble in his shoe, a problem to be rid of. And Zuko came back, over and over again, to prove him wrong. Which is exactly what he wanted, worth noting… he just expected Zuko wouldn't go as far as to betray him, but even so, he must be thrilled that his firstborn would claw for power by any means necessary. Just as he did."
"Any means necessary?" Sokka asked.
"He didn't win our Agni Kai," Azula said, with a dry grin. "He would have, make no mistake… but he became Fire Lord because I got locked up in an asylum, not because he defeated me lawfully. The one time he had a chance to do it, I… I attacked your sister, as I'm sure you know. I knew I was losing, I shouldn't have been. Sozin's Comet was powering me, so… it was infuriating that Zuko would have control while I was losing mine. So, I tried to reclaim control. When your sister, for whatever reason, walked into the battlefield… I knew I could throw him off by attacking her instead. So I did that. He got burned when he jumped between my attack and your sister. The Agni Kai's winner is the one who burns the opponent. That's the basic rule. That's why my father defeated him, and he didn't even fight back that time. And… I burned him too, with lightning. And then your sister defeated me. And even then…"
"By that logic, Katara should be Fire Lord," Sokka concluded. Azula scoffed.
"What?"
"Well, you burned Zuko, she beat you, she wins the Agni Kai in the end. How about that, I'm the brother of the real Fire Lord," Sokka said. Azula's lips curled into a disbelieving smile.
"That's not what I… what?" she said. Sokka snickered.
"We should definitely bring it up to Katara. She'd demand her dues, you know she would. Fire Lord Katara, married to Avatar Aang… and Zuko deposed. Does it sound funny, at least?"
"Funny… and entirely unreasonable," Azula admitted, with a chuckle. Sokka smiled sadly at her.
"I'm sorry," he said, startling her. "No one… no one ever really bothered hearing your side, did they?"
"Well… why would anyone?" Azula asked. "I'm just… a nutcase who needs to be diagnosed, tossed into a cage and left to rot there. I'm a threat, a menace, a problem to be rid of. If given so much as a foothold of power, I will evidently use it to take revenge on everyone who ever wronged me, see? So… you should stop being so nice to me. It'll only backfire on you. You'll wind up regretting it…"
She said the last words with a mocking, sing-song voice that did nothing to hide the gravity of what she was talking about. Sokka grimaced, gazing at her with remorse.
"Guess… guess I'll try to brace myself for it, in case you do decide to do that," he said. Azula frowned, eyeing him skeptically. "But considering you haven't thrown me overboard off the balloon so far, and we've been traveling together for quite a while now…"
"Your terrible cooking sometimes tempts me to do it, just so you know," Azula pointed out. Sokka scoffed.
"Like yours is much better," he said. "Maybe, out of the three of us, Yue is the one who would have cooking skills, wouldn't you say?"
"Her?" Azula smirked, glancing at the water. Yue grimaced, flustered and uncertain. "She begs to differ, looks like. Besides, she and I are royal. You're the commoner. You're the one who should know how to…"
"Look, I can roast whatever I hunt or fish, but that's as far as my culinary talents extend," Sokka said, though a spark of an idea came to mind over Azula's previous words. "Though… just so you know? Back home, I'm kind of like a prince, myself."
Azula scoffed: in the water, Yue's eyes brightened upon hearing words she had first heard from him, so long ago. The Fire Nation Princess glanced at the Water Tribe one, finding her giggling sweetly over what Sokka had said. Azula blinked blankly before turning towards the smug non-bender…
"You're not," she said, curtly. Sokka scoffed.
"Am too! I'm the Chief's son, I'm privileged over everyone else, and that means I didn't need to cook to save my life because someone else was doing it for me for most of my childhood," Sokka grinned, proudly. Azula's jaw dropped. "So, see? For all that matters, I'm as royal as either one of you."
"Fancy that: we're the royal losers," Azula said: Sokka yelped, and Yue gasped. "No, but, really! I'm an actual Princess, and I lost my title, the throne that was granted to me, my nation, and I'm now a hunted criminal, aren't I? You… you're not really a prince and you're pretending to be one over weird motives, but even if you were somehow, you're on the run with me now and you most likely have nowhere better to go or nothing better to do if you're here… and Yue is seemingly a stowaway in my head, stuck in every reflective surface I ever see. Instead of living it up in golden palaces and gilded cages… we're on the weirdest trip I've ever been on, instead, and living like anything but royalty."
"The Royal Exiles…" Sokka said, with a slow smirk. Azula's eyes widened. "I like the sound of that!"
"You don't have to give us a name! Besides, I'm the only exile. You're just… weird. And Yue is, uh, gone," Azula said. "Figure out a better one that properly represents all our experiences or don't do it at all."
"Ugh, I'll have to think it over, but this is tricky, damn! You help me!" Sokka said, poking her ribs with a finger: Azula winced, hands instinctively in a defensive kata, and Sokka only smirked at her reaction. "Oooh… someone's ticklish."
"And someone's got a death wish. Don't you dare do that again, or you're going to pay for it," Azula said: as usual, the infuriating man with her only seemed to take her threats as challenges, going by the proud smile on his face.
"We'll see about that," he smirked, teasingly. Azula huffed.
"The Forsaken Royals," she growled. Sokka raised his eyebrows. "Why not?"
"That sounds very depressing," he said. "I want something more uplifting than that! Exiles at least sounds like we're on our way to have adventures and…"
"Misadventures, rather. The Royal Misadventurers?" Azula smirked. Sokka scoffed.
"I think we're a work-in-progress. Maybe that's what we ought to call ourselves," he said, with a slight smile. "I don't really know if there's something that binds us all together… but I guess it would be Yue, huh? She's the one who got attached to you, for whatever reason, and I joined this ride because of that."
"And for some reason you still haven't decided you've had enough of me and my malice… you're certainly an odd one, Sokka," Azula decided. "The Odd Royals…"
"Huh. That's a valid name, because we'd need one more member to be the Even Royals, after all…"
"You…!"
She snorted and burst out laughing. Sokka smirked proudly at the sound, watching as she rolled to the side, trying to keep him from seeing how embarrassingly she was laughing at his simple, foolish joke…
"T-that was… not funny. Not at all…" she said, returning to herself, a hand still over her mouth. Sokka smirked, nudging her foot with his this time.
"I think that is one thing we have in common, actually," he said. "All three of us. We laugh at bad jokes, even when we don't want to. Well, you don't want to, I don't mind laughing no matter who made the joke…"
"Because you're unrefined. I have some dignity to preserve," Azula said, smirking.
"Do you, now?" Sokka smirked.
"Well… maybe I'm not doing a great job of it right now, but I do," Azula said, her smile waning as she glanced at him. "You… are feeling better now?"
"Oh…" Sokka blinked blankly, frowning upon hearing the question. "Weirdly enough, yeah. I… heh. It felt pretty awful when it happened, and don't worry, I'm scared enough of Suki's wrath to know we'd better get going soon. But… maybe I should've just called it quits forever ago instead of letting it drag out. Strange, though, that just sitting here with you for a little while was… well, that helpful. Thank you."
"I… well, I won't make a habit of talking you out of your bad funks. So don't expect it to happen again," Azula said. Sokka smiled.
"That you did it now was enough, I think. You don't owe me anything," Sokka said. "If anything, I'm the one indebted to you. All the unresolved feelings and conflicts I had over Yue… you're helping me sort through them even if just by telling me about how she's doing. And you ended up helping me with Suki too, even if you didn't deserve getting dragged into it. I'm sorry that you did."
"Well, I'm not sorry to see the last of her, if I just did," Azula said, with a dry grin. "She'll always hold a grudge on me for defeating her back during the war. Which, yes, I'm sure you resent me for because we were enemies back then, but…"
"You know what?" Sokka said, with a slight smirk. "Since we're sharing terrible truths about how awful we are…"
"You… huh?" Azula blinked blankly. "You're not about to say you're glad I…"
"No, but I will say… one time she made fun of me and the others for losing fights as many times as we did, and I may or may not have shut her down by bringing up that she lost against you," Sokka said, with a guilty grin. Azula gasped, covering her mouth with a hand. "Yeeeeah… not my finest moment, true. Maybe that's when our problems really started, huh? Well, no, never mind, that was after the Boiling Rock after all…"
"You… used me to win an argument against your girlfriend?" Azula asked, with a devious smirk. "Careful, now. You're going to start growing on me, Sokka, and I don't think either of us wants that…"
"Azula, we've been stuck with each other for the better part of a month: we've grown on each other like weeds by now. Too late to worry about that at this point," he said, with a careless shrug.
"And you… don't mind that?" Azula asked. "Do I need to remind you of who I am? The scary criminal Princess who would set the world on fire if her mental state allowed her to…?"
"Honestly?" Sokka said, looking at her earnestly. "I get the feeling I'm only just getting to know who you really are."
Azula frowned. There was no hint of mirth in his voice, or his countenance…
"Those things you said… they're elements of you, but not the full picture," Sokka said, with a shrug. "And I barely even know how genuine any of it is anymore. For someone who apparently is a terribly dangerous criminal with no restraint, you sure have showed plenty for all this time."
"Just because Yue would be all too upset if I did anything that might hurt you," Azula said, rolling her eyes. Sokka smiled.
"Then may she protect me long enough to grow even more on you, to the point where you won't want to hurt me anymore by your own volition," Sokka grinned. Azula winced.
Did he understand what those words meant? She doubted it. He was a normal person, ultimately, regardless of his attempts to establish that he was like her, like Yue…
Azula sighed, shrugging in defeat. Sokka chuckled, reaching out to clap her shoulder gently.
"Come on, then. Let's get out of here before Suki changes her mind and starts hunting us right now," he said. Azula huffed.
"It sure is terribly inconvenient, traveling with a wanted criminal. Wanted for crimes of heartbreak and emotional distress on a Kyoshi Warrior… and somehow that makes you a far more serious menace than someone who's kidnapped children, stolen over half the assets in the Palace's safe chambers, torn the hulls of battleships just before they set out on important missions, among many other ordeals that cost the Fire Nation far more money and expenses than anyone ever could quantify…"
"What can I say? I'm truly that dangerous," Sokka said, lowering his voice menacingly, teasingly. Azula laughed, despite herself, shaking her head.
"What a pair we make. Uh, trio, rather," she said, glancing at the water. Yue, of course, giggled at Sokka's teasing words.
Azula couldn't quite help but smile, even if she feared she shouldn't have reasons to do so. There were more than enough reasons why Yue should have attached herself to anyone but her… but maybe after this conversation, after picking up on the main thing Sokka didn't have in common with them, Azula had started to suspect just why the Princess had chosen her, if she had chosen her at all.
Azula's people, her nation, had forsaken her. In their own way, Yue's had done the same thing. Whether they loved them or hated them, ultimately, they were Princesses who had given their everything to a cause that had destroyed them. They had become sacrifices, pawns in someone else's game, ready to die if that was what it took to keep their campaigns alive, strong, thriving. If Azula's father had asked her to sacrifice herself fully for him, she would have hated herself for hesitating. She would have hated herself for thinking it wasn't fair. She would have forced herself to go through with it… no matter the cost to her person.
Yue had made the sacrifice by herself, for no one else could do it in her place. Just so, the world had moved on without her, just as it had without Azula. Sokka was the strange, single person who hadn't given up on either of them. Maybe he hadn't cared one bit about Azula until this ordeal had begun… but now, there was a sincerity in his words, his attempts to understand her, that Azula simply couldn't overlook.
But could she be right to suspect the true source of that connection between herself and Yue? Could she be right to believe that Sokka should not look to bond any further with her… for neither she nor Yue were fated for anything but loneliness?
Maybe that was why they were stuck with each other. Maybe they were walking in each other's shoes, in a twisted way. Maybe their only chance at humanity, at reclaiming the possibility of a mundane, simple life, was the tall, kind, humorous and thoughtful man who opened the balloon's basket door for her to step on it, first. Azula nodded in acknowledgement, and he followed her aboard before beginning the work to take to the skies anew.
She might never find peace. Yue most likely wouldn't, either, regardless of her attempts to do so through this strange journey. But if this was the closest either of them would ever get to friendship, companionship, to staving away loneliness and experiencing so many of the blissful things they had been deprived from? Azula intended to take it. She wasn't a good enough person to spare Sokka from the anguish and suffering that would most likely follow after trying to help someone like her, to no avail. She would cling to him, make the most of him… and once she was ready, she'd simply have teach herself how to let go, just like everyone had let go of her, so long ago. Just like everyone but Sokka had let go of Yue.
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cursed-and-haunted · 5 months
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id love to hear about your other wips! are they all horror too?
Not all of them are horror. But most of them contain some horror/thriller aspects
My biggest wip that has the most work done on it, the most worldbuilding and lore, the most ocs (50+) is a fantasy titled the Nine Realms that takes some inspiration from Norse/Germanic and Celtic myths. It follows several generations of one family from the dawn of humanity to its fall as this family climbs to the hight of nobility and then eventually falls into obscurity. There's Giants and Elves and Dwarves and prophets and shapeshifters and spirits and dead gods that lurk in the shadows and whisper strange things in your ear.
My second biggest wip is This Is The Way The World Ends. It's about superhumans in a world where superpowers have been normalized and are now a normal mundane thing. It follows a group of thieves who steal something very important from a mob boss in Las Vegas and have to deal with the consequences of that. A lot of weird shit happens too because superpowers are weird, at one point they kill god and it's like a normal Wednesday for them. This one is more humorous than the any of the other ones.
Then there's Cosmic a low sci-fi about a woman's suicide mission to get revenge and it takes place on a circus themed cruise space ship (you know how we have cruise ships its like that but in space and with clowns... and a woman trying to blow it up). This is the web weaving for it.
Things Behind The Sun is a sci-fi about cyborgs and androids. It's also about bodily autonomy and disability and how corporations crush the poor and disabled just for a profit. Typical cyberpunk tropes.
Heaven Must Be Burning is about a witch who makes a deal with the devil but feels like she was cheated so she travels through the nine circles of hell so she can kill the devil and then god. Not sure if this one is a horror but it does have a lot of creepy stuff in it.
Now for my horror wips:
Godlings is the horror prequel to This Is The Way The World Ends. It is the villain origin story of the Big Bad of TITWTWE. It's about 5 superhumans who go on a killing spree together and then one of them turns on the other 4 and starts hunting them down and killing them one by one until he is the only one left standing.
Darkside is a sci-fi horror about a group of scientists who go to an alien planet and one of them gets possessed infected by some alien disease that makes her homicidal and makes her body rapidly decay and she tries to kill everyone.
Meet Me In The Woods Tonight is about a small town with a lot of secrets. One of them being that there's a fucked up deer creature in the woods that eats people. My icon is inspired by this wip. My hometown is also the inspiration for the setting in this.
Another wip (whose tilte I can't decide on) is about a true crime writer who gets the chance to write a book about an infamous serial killer and the during the interviews the two become obsessed with each other to the point of murder.
Between The Walls is about a haunted house that's haunted by the ghost of a cannibal and the cannibal's victims. This one started out as a uquiz which you can still take here.
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nifty13swiftie · 2 years
Text
MIDNIGHTS INTIAL FAVORITE LINES
“Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism” - Anti-Hero
“I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror
It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero” - Anti-Hero
“And my flight was awful, thanks for asking“ - Snow on the Beach (ft Lana Del Rey)
“You're on your own, kid You always have been” - You’re On Your Own, Kid
“I looked around in a blood-soaked gown And I saw something they can't take away 'Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned” - You’re On Your Own, Kid
“I guess sometimes we all get Just what we wanted, just what we wanted And he never thinks of me Except when I'm on TV I guess sometimes we all get Some kind of haunted, some kind of haunted And I never think of him Except on midnights like this” - Midnight Rain
“ *cheering* “ - Question...?
“Well, he was doing lines And crossin' all of mine“ - Vigilante Shit
“Did all the extra credit, then got graded on curve“ - Bejeweled
“Karma's a relaxing thought Aren't you envious that for you it's not“ - Karma
“Spider boy, king of thieves Weave your little webs of opacity My pennies made your crown Trick me once, trick me twice“ - Karma
“Ask me what I earned from all those tears Ask my why so many think that I'm still here (I'm still here, I'm still here)“ - Karma
“They said the end is coming Everyone's up to something“ - Sweet Nothing
“You're in the kitchen, humming“ - Sweet Nothing
“No one wanted to play with me as a little kid So I've been scheming like a criminal ever since“ - Mastermind
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envihellbender · 29 days
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Give each Fear a Ghost song
I HAD SO MUCH FUN WITH THIS
For each song I’ve given a snap shot of lyrics that i think represent the fear, some are on the nose and some are more based on vibe…
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The Buried: Square Hammer
Hiding from the light
Sacrificing nothing
Still you call on me for entrance to the shrine
Hammering the nails
Into a sacred coffin
You call on me for powers clandestine
The Corruption: Rats
In times of turmoil
In times like these
Beliefs contagious
Spreading disease
The Dark: Darkness at the Heart of my Love
And all this time you knew
That I would put you through
The darkness at the heart of my love
For you
When the summer dies
Severing the ties
I'm with you always, always
The Desolation: Deus in Abstentia
The world is on fire
And you are here to stay and burn with me
A funeral pyre
And we are here to revel forevermore
The End: Absolution
Ever since you were born you've been dying
Every day a little more you've been dying
Dying to reach the setting sun
As a child, with your mind on the horizon
Over corpses, to the prize you kept your eyes on
Trying to be the chosen one
The Eye: Watcher in the Sky
Searchlights, searchlights
Looking for the watcher in the sky
Evil-utionary the optics for us
To get answers as to why
We signal to another dimension
That we stand here ready for reply
The Flesh: Spillways
When stripped of rags of skin and spine
Human decay, Corpus dei
Terminally dispelled
And it's such a ride
The Hunt: Hunter’s Moon
Under a headstone, sister
I'm dying to see you, my friend
Back in the old cemetery
I'm dying to see you, my friend
Though my memories are faded
They come back to haunt me once again
And though my mind is somewhat jaded
Now it's time for me to strike again
The Lonely: Secular Haze
You know that the fog is here omnipresent
When the diseases sees no cure
You know that the fog is here omnipresent
When the intents remain obscure
Forevermore
Weave us a mist, fog weaver
Hide us in shadows
Unfathomable wall-less maze
A secular haze
The Slaughter: Twenties
Listen up, hatchet man
Set controls for the heart of the land
Tell 'em all it is time
You're the next in the chain of command
Apparition
Direct the course for collision
Suspicion
For the Reich to come to fruition
The Spiral: See the Light
Many a mind I have haunted
And in many a way, I have been
Often the one to have flaunted
An image grotesque and obscene
But of all these dark roads that I roam
None could compare to you
The Stranger: Jesus He Knows Me
Won't find me practicing what I'm preaching
Won't find me making no sacrifice
But I can get you a pocketful of miracles
If you promise to be good, try to be nice
God will take good care of you
Just do as I say, not as I do
The Vast: He Is
We're standing here by the abyss and the world is in flames
Two star-crossed lovers reaching out to the beast with many names
He is
He's the shining and the light without whom I cannot see
And he is
Insurrection, he is spite, he's the force that made me be
The Web: Spirit
Throw yourself
Into the vessel
Of possibilities
Your green muse
The apparatus
For soul mobility
A gateway to secrecy
Bonus-
The Extinction: Bible
Now no one heard that voice anymore
And metal-cities came to ascend
On the fifth day spring turned into fall
And a rain fell over the land
But no walls can stop such a rain
That keeps on falling forever more
I was told that by the sixth day
The earth was like an open sore
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