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themadauthorshatter · 3 years

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PG-13 Ninjago Touch Up: Episode 5

This is after Lloyd and Pythor's "revenge" on Darkley's and after Pythor ditches Lloyd and steals the map. The child has food poisoning and almost fell off the roof of the building because he threw up and passed out. Wu's glad to see his nephew again and takes him in.

The ninja are slightly against taking him in, but let their guard down when they see how bad his condition is, when he has a nightmare and Nya calms him down. He quickly calls her, "Mrs. Darnese" while apologizing for not listening, even begging her to not make him reset anything.

He's welcomed with open arms after that.

Lloyd's quiet with all the ninja, but has something of a kinship with Zane, who's quiet and helps him eat food that's actually healthy for him; he's clever with making food little kids ususally wouldn't like look good for him to eat, Cole helps him with physical education and activity so he can be strong, Jay helps him with learning the stuff Wu teaches him, and Kai is the most "big brother"-esque, helping him adjust and get close with him and the others.

FLUFF TIME!

Zane notices Lloyd not eating and eats with him. He also helps him take his medicine and eat vegetables by trying them first to show that they are harmless. There are foods Lloyd doesn't like eating, but eats anyway, because at Darkley's he'd be locked in a closet with no food. Zane sees this and lets him know that he doesn't have to eat anything he doesn't like and he can tell them there's a food he'd rather not eat, as his diet now consists of meats, veggies, fruits, and all sorts of goodness to keep him healthy.

Cole notices Lloyd pushing himslef WAY too hard while they do some P.E, as in he tries matching what Cole is doing, so if he's already tired from doing 30 or so push-ups, he's still going to try and keep up with Cole, who does more than 500 a day. He tells Lloyd that it's okay to rest, if he's that tired.

Jay notices how Lloyd is struggling with something and offers to help. Too bad it's math and he has to really inspect it in order to help him. Lloyd asks, very sheepishly, if Jay has a hard time learning, too, which he semi-admits he does, but if there's anything he doesn't know, he can always ask for help, which he says Lloyd can do, since he's safe now.

It takes a little while for Lloyd to warm up to Kai, though Kai has a similar problem since he doesn't like kids that much. And Lloyd's like a mini Zane, not talking and following him around. It doesn't help that he sees Lord Garmadon in the child, which is understandable, but not really that fair. They only start bonding for real when Kai's playing a video game with Jay and Lloyd watches from the furthest corner possible so he doesn't bother then, even though Jay assures that he can sit closer, if he wants. They continue playing their game and check on Lloyd every now and again, though Jay does eventually see Lloyd move from out of the corner to try and sit between him and Kai. He makes room for him and soon Lloyd is sitting between them, very awkward and not knowing what to do now. Kai admits to himself that Lloyd's not all bad and ruffles his hair, which gives Lloyd the 'okay' to huddle next to Kai, who fights a smile, because Lloyd's cute.

The ninja, Wu, and Nya are extremely happy when, at the dinner table, Lloyd speaks up for the first time: "Um... Uncle? Nya? Guys? Thank you."

Happy tears and hair ruffles ensue, amd Wu hugs his nephew, who nows fully trusts him and the rest of the team.

TOO BAD WU MISPLACED HIS LESSON BOOK AND INSTRUCTS LLOYD AND NYA TO HELP TEACH THE NINJA!

It's simple: Nya gets the more dangerous tasks of tampering with Jay's robot and beating Kai's highscore(it's a game rating not meant for children at Lloyd's age) and Lloyd can switch an ingredient in Cole's soup and make Zane's gis pink.

Zane has, in my opinion, the best reaction to the tampering: He sees and greets a amiley and giggling Lloyd, who says he's come to retrieve Kai's uniform for him, which Zane ruffles his hair for before taking his laundry to his bunk. THEN HE STARTS THINKING. 'Isn't Kai's gi red? And isn't MY gi white?' Realization slowly sets in as Zane checks his uniform and sees it is now a very nice fluorescent pink. That smile he had at seeing Lloyd is gone as he plans on how he can murder Kai, make it look like an accident, and get away with it, with no one asking questions.

The ninja tear at each other before Wu reveals that Lloyd was partially responsible for the tampering, Nya also being responsible.

Lloyd has the giggle fits before seeing the ninjas reactions and hides behind Wu; Zane puts Kai's murder on the backburner so he can make sure Lloyd still feels safe with them.

Wu reveals the lesson, and that he couldn't find his lesson book, and Lloyd holds it up for him, saying it was in between the boards on the deck, which reminds the ninja that Lloyd may have some mischief in him, because he's a little kid, but he's not evil.

Nya tells them to meet up in the bridge, which they do(Zane carries Lloyd on his back because he's a good older brother), and informs them on where the other two tombs are, Venomari and Constricti. Lloyd shuuders at both because it Darkley's they were taught the words "venom" and "constrict," and tells Zane to promise he and Cole will be careful. Zane nods to say he will, and, because he's impressed Lloyd knows words an eleven year old would know, says they can practice learning more words like those such as "composure" and "beckoning" as he sets Lloyd down; when Jay doesn't know how to help, Zane steps in. He becomes Lloyd's mother.

Wu sends Zane and Cole to the Constricti tomb and Kai and Jay to the Venomari, warning both teams to be careful. Nya offers to join, but Kai yelps for her to stay back before recovering that someone has to stay to guard the Bounty, and Lloyd, which he adds when the kid stares up at him with puppy eyes.

Like before, Zane and Cole arrive and climb the mountian, Zane's spirit being lifted as he holds onto Cole, who is climbing as fast as he can. Even though he's a little tired, Cole joins Zane as they enter the tomb, because the rope they find is sus.

Zane translates the images inscribed on the wall and notes the tribes needing to be united to bring the Great Devourer and also how the retrieval of the four silver fangs bangs hinders on the Dark Lord, essentially the biter and bitten being brought together in any way to bring destruction upon all of Ninjago.

It rattles them both, especially Zane, who looks at Cole with extremely wide and disturbed eyes.

"What do you think it means? Lord Garmadon's in the Underworld. How can they unite the tribes if he's not even IN this realm?"

"What if they don't need Lord Garmadon himself?"

The implication gives Cole a sick feeling in his stomach, even when Zane expresses more concerns, but assures him that they're just snakes that hate each other and don't know any better. Too bad the Constricti general, Skalidor, attacks them.

He first lunges for Cole, but Zane throws his brother out of the way and drop kicks Skalidor, who burrows back into the ground. They make a run for the rope, but Cole stops when Skalidor resurfaces and grabd hold of Zane, using his tail to restrain his legs before slamming him into the dirt and wrapping him up some more.

He admits to waiting for them and to say that Pythor says, "Hi" to them and a "get well soon and go to Hell" for Lloyd. Zane, even in his disoriented state, calls Skalidor pathetic and cowardly for waiting for them and picking on a child who was sick. Skalidor chides him, and constricts him a little, for the insults and lack of a good fight, even talking shit about his choice in color.

Cole, throwing caution to the wind, uses his scyhte to make Skalidor release Zane and re-burrow. He quickly pulls Zane up and practically throws him the the rope as Skalidor resurfaces once more, hissing that NOW this is a fun fight.

As Cole fights, Zane has a seizure triggered, both from getting body slammed and having heard, "Fun fight" before, but not knowing where exactly he heard it.

I should note that in episode 4, during his dream when all the falcons surround him, he hears voices screaming his name, which makes him collapse and be forced to hear the screaming of what feels like hundreds of people.

Similar thing happens here, but he hears people scream his name and sees someone attacking him.

With Cole, he's basically in a really dangerous dance with a snake, trying everything he can to avoid the teeth and tail while stil trying get a hit in. He occasionally checks on a seizuring Zane, and calls out for him, but is otherwise not having a good time. He swings the blunt end of the scythe into Skalidor's torso, which causes the snake to burrow to attack next, but Cole uses the Sacred Flute, which Wu gave him and Zane before they left.

Zane comes out of his seizure in time to see Skalidor resurface a third time and not hold back in constricting Cole, literally being like a boa constrictor and tightening his grip whenever Cole exhales, especially when Cole yells for Zane.

Zane retrieves it and plays a little before Skalidor grabs him by the neck and lifts him up, which makes his condition go from bad to worse.

With a gasp, and a rush of adrenaline, he plays the flute more until Skalidor releases them both and Cole lands a knockout blow to the head.

He catches his breathe and Zane slides to the ground, struggling to keep himself conscious as he comments on how hard Cole hit the snake general.

"Yeah, well, you're not bad on that flute," Cole replies as he helps Zane to his feet before slinging him over his shoulders when Zane wobbles on his feet. "You really can't help those seizures, can you?"

"For... Forget that. Kai... and Jay-"

"You're right. Let's get out of here," Cole says as he climbs out of the tomb with a "not all there" Zane.

With Kai and Jay, they arrive at the Venomari tomb and Kai catches Jay just as he slips from transforming out of his glider and almost falling into the acid surrounding them, saying they're in the toxic bogs, so they're in the right place. Jay wonders if it's more or less dangerous than Cole's chili, which gets a snicker from Kai, before they play a very real game of "the floor is lava" to get to the tomb.

They open it and openly gag at the smell of death; I can't descibe it, but, from what I've heard, it's pretty bad. It gets worse when they wonder where all the snakes are only to see a very mushy and darkyly colored glob drip onto and hit the ground with a splat.

Jay covers his mouth, even through his hood, and backs away as he shakes his head while Kai backs away and leans against a tree as he vomits; day what you will, but this is NOT what they signed up for when they wanted to become ninja.

We cut away to Jay, thankfully, who sees images carved on the door of the tomb, recognizing one as a large snake, one as Lord Garmadon beholding the snakes with what looks like four daggers, and a third showing Garmadon with another person drawn in the same color as him drawing blood onto a piece of paper, the second figure having a question mark next to it. "Uh, hey. Kai?"

Kai wipes off his mouth as he rejoins Jay, who shows and inquires him about the pictures. Kai doesn't know what they are, but is confused by the figure by Garmadon.

He may not like reading, but Jay knows and loves and is good at picture charade games, so he quickly puts two and two together: "What would the serpentine want with Garmadon or Lloyd?"

Kai is about to answer, but sees something move behind Jay. He throws Jay behind him and charges only to see it was a harmless little toad.

THEN A VENOMARI SPRINGS OUT AND SPRAYS VENOM IN HIS EYES.

Kai feels a burn, but sees the world fade as he sees he's back at his village in Four/For Weapons, but this time a crying, half burnt Nya screams in his face that it's his fault their parents are dead and he never should've become a ninja. He tries defending himself, but Wu appears behind him and admits he should've chosen someone else to be a part of the team. Cole appears and calls him weak and a waste of everyone's time and effort, Zane wonders why Wu bothered choosing him, and Jay races toward him, blazing with lightning and more furious than a hungry lion.

SYKE! While Kai freaks out, Jay tries snapping him out of it, so they can fight off the Venomari as they advance.

Thank goodness Cole and Zane arrive, Zane not fully ready for another fight, but together enough to kick away any snakes; he's here to kick stuff and chew bubblegum, and he never has any bubblegum.

Cole asks what Kai's deal is and Jay explains he has no idea as Kai screams at Zane to let him go and not hurt him. Zane confirms he's hallucinating and plays the Sacred Flute, remembering how it diminished the hypnosis Scales used on Cole.

It works for a while before until Pythor picks up Kai and Zane by the backs of their shirts and tosses them away, using his tail to snatch the sacred flute.

"Ooh. What an interesting little instrument."

Zane grabs onto a branch and catches Kai, who kicks at him to let him go. The braanch breaks and they land on a leaning tree that creaks beneath their weight. Zane freezes, but Kai only continues to panic, drawing his sword and demanding Zane stay away as both struggle to keep their balance on the rickety, falling tree.

Jay and Cole fight off more Venomari before turning their attention to Pythor, though Jay's attention turns to Zane and Kai, Zane trying to steady Kai as the red ninja swings at him. Jay races toward them as the tree snaps and Cole move to stop him before Pythor wraps his tail around Cole's leg and hoists him up to inspect him, pondering if he's who they need to find the fang blades.

Cole hears a crack and a splash-esque sound and looks behind him to see the branch Kai, Jay, and Zane are on has broken and is now being dissolved in the acid, the three if them sinking downward.

Cole panics and yells for them to be saved, but Pythor only acts more like a dick and turns Cole around to them

"If you're as useful as I think you are, what point would they serve other than to remind you of what you've lost? It's wrong to defy destiny, after all."

The tree sinks lower and Cole cries more desperately as he watches Jay have to headbutt Kai and hold him on his shoulders to jewp him from falling in and Zane slip up to a higher point on the tree, see and feel it teeter under his weight and then rejoin Jay's side.

He tries freezing the acid, but it instantly melts away. Jay shouts for him to try the nunchucks, but Zane gets electrocuted.

Just as the acid almost reaches their toes, smoke pellets are thrown and clous the snakes' vision from the ninja, who see a rope fall in front of them to climb.

A sonic, "nails on chalkboard," electric type sound fills the air and the Venomari flee from the samurai mech, especially Pythor, who also drops Cole and gets grazed by a sort of double bladed frisbee, MAYBE it's a chakram, but I'm just guessing.

Zane helps a shaken Cole to his feet as Jay fanboys over the mech and its driver, a person ckad in armor, a mask, and goggles.

Cole thanks them for saving him and the other ninja before getting some sleep smoke in his face and knocking him out. Jay goes for his nunchucks as Kai panics agaim, but they're also smoked down. Zane and the samurai engage in battle, though he's tired, had a seizure, and almost died. He notices the samurai's technique is familiar and notices a mark on the side of the samurai's head, what looks to be a small scar from a weapon used by the skeleton army during the attack on Four/For Weapons.

"Is... that you?"

The inspection costs him as the samurai hits him with sleep smoke and knocks him out with the others before departing, the Bounty arriving soon after to pick up the ninja.

Like in episode 4, Zane is the last to wake up, except this time the other ninja aren't up and about. They're all getting over whatever incense was used to put them to sleep, though Kai has to squint so he can see what's real, and he's holding Lloyd because he jist wants to hold the brat after almost dying; the flute diluted a lot of the venom, so it'll wear off soon.

Wu inquires them about what they found at the tombs, which they explain; Kai mutters, "Traitor," as Lloyd switches from sitting next to Kai to joining Zane's side.

Cole talks about the images Zane translated as Wu flame cups some of his ribs back into place(Skalidor almost broke them entirely), mentioning how the serpentine might try to use Garmadon to help them find the silver fang blades. Jay cuts in that he and Kai something similar to that, but brings up how they saw Garmadon and another person over a map.

Kai asks out loud, "Wait a second. Didn't you say the serpentine want to use Lloyd or Lord Garmadon?"

Zane gulps as Lloyd huddles into him, putting an arm around him.

Lloyd admits he never should've taken the map and blames himself for the ninja getting hurt, but Wu assures him everything will be okay now that they know what to do: protect Lloyd, keep the serpentine as far away from Garmadon as possible, destroy the fang blades, and keep the tribes from uniting.

Wu and Nya leave the ninja to rest a little longer, though Nya and Zane eye each other amd Nya leaves the room.

Kai rubs his eyes and flops back in his bed, complaining about the venom giving him a headache, though Cole gently reminds him to lie on his stomach to get the venom out, which he does.

Jay drinks an energy drink to calm himself, noticing Cole isn't asking if it's his second bottle that day; he makes sure Jay only has one a day.

Zane rubs the back of his head, but does turn his attention to Lloyd, who asks what happened and if Cole is okay. Before he van respond, Cole reploes he's fine, admitting he's just glad they're all okay and that they were saved.

At dinner, Jay talks about the samurai, though Zane, Kai, AND Lloyd correct him, because Zane knows what it is and just taught Lloyd. Wu explains what a samurai is to Cole, who get confused in Lloyd's place because he wasn't brought up with said knowledge.

They discuss the tribes uniting, rather how to prevent it and the ninja reveal Pythor stole the sacred flute while Zane keeps his eyes on the table.

Dinner is interrupted by the sensors and the ninja head out, Zane still bummed out at his pink gi and Kai surprised by the sudden realization that no one's been attacking him, so he's off kilter.

They get to the sewer and see the tribes argue, but listen to what Pythor has to say.

Cole wonders how they can stop them and Kai asks him if he'd like to keep the high score he got on Kai's game. It confuses all the ninja, but it clicks with the lesson they learned.

"Who can trust the Hynpobri when they'll just trick everyone into doing what they want?"

"The Constricti need to stop digging and get a grip on each other!"

"Fangpire working WITH other tribes? More loke the other tribes will work FOR the Fangpire!"

"I'm surprised everyone's found their way here after thw Venomari spat in their faces!"

It's offensive, but it works. The tribes begun to stop listening to Pythor and start tearing each other apart.

Until Skales sees the ninja watching the madness and nods to Skalidor, who's ready for payback after the knockout and earworms from Cole and Zane.

The ninja start to leave, but are stopped by Constricti. Kai is the first to be taken down, dragged under by the ankle as the others have to run. Cole is next, Skalidor stopping him by wrapping his tail around Cole's neck before pulling him under. Jay is stopped when two tackle him, one locking him in a chokehold while the other restrains his legs, and shouts for Zane to run.

He unsheathes his shurikens, but listens to Jay when he sees the cracks the the ground race toward him, one faster than the rest.

Zane books it until he's stopped at a dead end, where Skalidor and a underling Constricti resurface. Out of options, he hides and waits for them to see him, waits to possibly be broken in half by the snake he and Cole previously encountered, maybe even be triggered into another seizure.

But they don't do anything.

He looks to see Skalidor demand where he vanished off to before shuffling back. Skalidor, familiar with vibration in the ground, senses this and inspects where it came from, getting inches away from Zane until he and his underling are called back by the venomari general Acidicus.

Once they're gone, he walks away from the wall he was against and sees it's a poster for a band that he's blended into.

Back with the serpentine and ninja, Skales, extremely mad, golf clubs Kai in the face as he demands wherw the fourth ninja is, saying he knows that there's four of them.

Kai, who's been being hit a lot, smirks up at Skales with his split lip and bloodied face and asks if his vision really is going bad from being close to a Venomari, or if he's been wasting his time hypnotizing everyone. Rather than hit Kai again, he ramms the ground end of his staff into Cole's stomach; all the ninja are tied up, but they're side by side and tied in different ways: Jay strung up by his wrists so he can't use his lightning, Kai with his hands behind his back fo prevent fires, and Cole with his arms and hands tied behind him.

Pythor realizes that with the ninja trapped like this, they can be used to sway the serpentine to his side, seeing as how they now have beef with the ninja.

He thinks fast, retakimg hiis place begore the serpentine and announcing he has a gift for them: the demises of the ninja that have tried to thwart them. The serpentine start arguing again, each side wanting to be the one to do it, but Pythor tells them it's his gift to them.

Too bad a golden shuriken cuts him off and a certain pink ninja swoops in, making ice walls to keep the serpentine from attacking. Skalidor lunges for him, but Zane slides under him, making a slide so he crashes into Pythor and the other tribe generals.

Zane frees the others and they make a run for it before usimg Zane's and Kai's motorcycles to escape, the team missing when Skales gets yelled at by Pythor.

Back home, after getting patched up, the ninja breathe a sigh of relief, knowing they at least stopped the tribes uniting. Jay thanks Zane for stepping in when he did, though Zane 'says' they should be thanking Lloyd, who walks in with Zane's now white gi and a smile on his face, saying he no longer has to be the pink ninja. He then gives Cole a recipe he found for the soup he was trying to make, one that Lloyd will not be tampering with again.

Cole ruffles his hair and chuckles, "Thanks a lot, pip squeak."

Zane smiles at the exchange before turning to Nya, who gives him sad, puppy eye, almost guilty. He smiles again and winks at her, drawing a small 'X' on his chest; 'I won't tell a soul.'

#ninjago #ninjago lloyd #ninjago kai #ninjago zane #ninjao jay #ninjao cole #ninjago rewrite #universe alteration #slight violence tw #hallucinating tw #some angst #some fluff #i don't like bratty yoing lloyd. i wanted him to actually be a little likable before he's the green ninja #headcanons

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gotmilk5101520 · 3 years

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3Below: Tales of Arcadia Watch Episode 1 Terra Incognita Part 1

3Below Watch was suppose to start in August or September. But i got lazy and Rise of the Titans made it worst. But here it is, at last. 3Below: Tales of Arcadia Watch (And yes, i’m working on season 2 right now as we speak)

3Below has the best opening theme. Fight me.

Can’t hide from us.

“Hi!”

“My name is Aja Tarron of House Tarron”

“And i want to tell you a story. It’s a good story”

“It is very lively”

“with lots of humors”

”and excitement. Allow me to tell you all 26 episodes of 3Below”

“It begins”

“As you would say. In a galaxy far far away”

And this is why we don’t battle in the middle of the road.

‘Smile and wave, boys”

“Smile and wave”

“Again?” California at every wildfire.

“I see you, you little slime-bucket!” What an odd way to say shit-bag.

“Get back here”

“Or i’ll have you turned into flexel!” Now i want her and Bular to have a most stupid threatening contest.

“For hundreds of keltons” Is that suppose to mean years or centuries?

“Akiridion-5 stood divided between two houses”

“The House Akraohm of my ancestors”

“and House Ventis of husband’s” Replace the “I” with a “U” and it spell Ventus. Kingdom Hearts confirm you guys.

“Relax. You’ll be fine”

“And if i don’t?”

“You’ll smile and wave”

“Like so” Remember to smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.

“Varvatos will give you the honor of a”

“GLORIOUS death”

“Varvatos will show you”

”GLORIOUS”

”death!” We all want a GLORIOUS death.

“Yes!”

“Oh, yes!”

“Oh, no” Yeah, shouldn’t have turned your back.

“I sparred with my father at my coronation”

”as he sparred with his father before him”

“This is a sacred honor, Krel”

“What a family” You should see my family.

“How did he disable the shield?”

“There is a traitor in our midst”

“I think it’s John” “Yes. Varvatos agrees. It’s... John”

“Don’t even think about it”

“You filthy animal” We are not toilets.

“Cover me!”

“What?”

“Why?”

“Oh! Because you’re trying to kill yourself” Video games be like this.

“Ha! You missed!”

“Ha! You aim like a Storm Trooper!”

We interrupt 3Below to bring you Star Wars.

“Don’t worry!”

“As long as we’re together, as long as we remain a family”

“all will be well”

“And you’ll always have us”

”and each other”

“NO!”

“PAPA! MAMA!”

“My king!”

“My queen!”

“Varvatos...”

“I don’t feel so good”

There goes the doggo.

“Wait here”

“I had every intention to”

“I’ll be right back”

“Unless we explode!”

“Yes, yes”

“Unless we explode” Then you’ll be everywhere.

“Time to completion, 25 episodes from now”

“You could leave the palace”

“fly far away from our world...”

“And your destiny would follow you” We interrupt 3Below to bring you Kingdom Hearts.

“We need to head somewhere they won’t think to look for us”

“The worse the planet, the better for us”

“I can only locate two planets which fit your description”

“One is about to be devoured”

“by a black hole” Yeah no. I wouldn’t even go there.

“The other”

“is a floating ball of mud and water”

“Its inhabitants named it after dirt”

“They call it Earth” That is a good point. Why do we call dirt Earth even though that’s the name of the planet?

“I wonder what we will find there!” Your hopes and dreams destroyed cause of capitalism.

“Ouch!” Always keep your eyes on the road.

“Wow”

“They really put this one up fast”

“One of the indigenous life forms is approaching”

“It may be hostile”

“He wears massive shields over his eyes”

“He must be a dreaded warrior” Eli? Yeah we’ll go with that.

“The cylindrical object in his hand...” “Hello?”

“Is it a weapon?” Depends on who is using it.

“I have chosen three forms that people on the mud planet tend to ignore”

“The first of such invisible forms is a girl”

“The next is called a Latino”

“You, Commander Vex, will be reconfigured as...”

“a senior citizen”

“Prepare to be destroyed”

“who-man!”

Yep totally invisible.

“Assemble the bounty hunters”

“No one can survive them” Meh. I’ve seen Star Wars.

Morando the heart breaker.

Also 3Below has the best ending theme. Fight me again.

The aliens are here everyone!

#3below #milk watches 3below #tales of arcadia

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atc74 · 5 years

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S’more Love

Square(s) Filled: Campfire for @spngenrebingo

Warnings: Fluff, gooey, melty fluff, slight angst, implied smut

Summary: Our favorite threesome has some time off and head to the cabin for a long weekend. Y/N is prepared for a relaxing weekend with her men, but Jared and Jensen drop a bomb on her. How will she react?

Pairing: J2 x Reader

Word Count: 2053

Written for: @spngenrebingo

Beta’d by: @amanda-teaches because I owe her some serious fluff after the last two weeks of murderous angst.

A/N: This is the next installment of my To New Beginnings series, which started as a simple non-request from @supernatural-jackles.

Haven’t experienced Jared or Jensen’s scent? Buy it here from @scentsfromthebunker!

Filming their fifteenth and final season was more draining than Y/N expected it to be. Sure, she expected it to be emotional, but the finality of it was hitting her with each episode they filmed. Y/N had spent years with Jared and Jensen. They had built a friendship and a relationship. They were a unit. They spent their professional and personal lives together. With their professional future uncertain, she was concerned about how it would affect their personal one.

Y/N was done filming for the week, but her boyfriends had one more day before they were done for a long weekend and could spend it wrapped up in each other at the cabin. After the boys left for work, she loaded their bags into Jared’s truck and hit the road. Clif would be driving them up after their scenes were finished.

She stopped at the market in town, stocking her cart. She crossed each item off her list to ensure she didn’t forget something. They had planned out a menu last night so everything they needed was on the list. The thing about feeding two large humans was the copious amount of food they could consume in a given day. Even though the list was thorough, she picked up a few extras that she knew they would appreciate. A quick stop at the liquor store and she was on her way, driving the last few miles to the cabin.

Y/N unloaded the truck and put away all the groceries. The boys had wanted her chicken enchiladas for dinner, so she prepared chicken breasts with tomatoes and green chiles, setting them in the oven to roast for a couple hours while she gathered some wood for a fire later. She loved doing the physical stuff sometimes so they didn’t have to. She had realized early in their relationship that it was a partnership and they were all equals. She may not have the strength to chop wood, but she certainly could haul it inside.

She spent the afternoon on the deck, basking in the sunshine and finishing the book Jared had given her. Clouds overpowered the sun and the wind picked up, indicating a late summer storm moving in from the northern Pacific. Y/N decided the plans she had for dessert would have to be moved inside if the storm forced her hand.

“Honey! We’re home!” Two deep voices rang out through the cabin and a smile broke out across her face.

“You’re early!” she squealed, running to the door, jumping into Jensen’s arms first, peppering his face with kisses.

“Someone’s a happy girl!” he laughed, holding tight to his girl.

“I’m always happy around you two,” she remarked, letting go of Jensen to greet Jared with equal enthusiasm.

“We missed you,” Jared mumbled into her hair when she jumped into his waiting arms. She wrapped her arms and legs around him.

“I missed you both, too,” she echoed, sliding down Jared’s body. “Grab a beer and relax for a bit, I’m just about to finish up dinner, so we have about an hour.”

The cheesy chicken enchiladas were definitely a hit with her men as barely a word was exchanged over dinner. She watched with pride as they devoured her cooking.

“Darlin’, ain’t nothing better than a home cooked meal,” Jensen proclaimed as he swiped the napkin across his plump lips. “That was delicious. Thank you.”

“Maybe this is my true calling,” she replied, sitting back with her glass of wine. “Stay home and cook for my men.”

“I wouldn’t say no to coming home to you barefoot and pregnant,” Jared chuckled. “I know how caveman that sounded. I’m sorry.”

“What?” Y/N gasped.

“Dude!” Jensen kicked Jared under the table.

“Ow!”

“Is there something we need to talk about?” Y/N asked, looking between the two of them.

“Well…” Jared breathed out.

“We were talking on the ride up and we wanted to ask you something,” Jensen began.

“With a real break on the horizon and none of us having nailed down any solid projects once we’re done,” Jared added.

“What are your thoughts on us taking a couple years off, maybe start-” Jensen attempted.

“Starting a family?” Y/N interjected, her eyes wide.

“Yeah,” Jared and Jensen replied together.

“We’ve talked about it before,” Jared reminded her.

“Yes, we have. But, it’s always been rhetorical. I love you both more than I thought I could love another person, let alone two. But, this would put us on display for the entire world. I, um, I need, I’ll be-” Y/N sputtered, picking up her wine and leaving the room.

Jared and Jensen exchanged looks across the table. “We should have waited.”

“We waited our entire lives for her. I don’t want to wait anymore. We’ve been honest and up front with each other every step of the way. Full disclosure, remember?” Jared reiterated.

“Full disclosure, yes. Breaking our girlfriend, no!” Jensen retorted. “We should have eased her into in. We had time to talk about it. We just dropped this on her like a bomb, man.”

“Let’s just clean up. She’ll come to us when she’s ready,” Jared replied hopefully.

Y/N set her glass of wine down as she lowered herself to the edge of the tub. “What just happened?” She turned the faucets on to fill the tub with hot water, sprinkling eucalyptus sea salts in the water. Thoughts were running through her mind like a pack of dogs, some rabid.

Stripping out of her clothes, she eased herself into the steaming water, breathing in the aroma of eucalyptus in an attempt to settle and focus her thoughts. She flipped the faucets off and settled back, closing her eyes.

There were a hundred things that could go wrong with this plan Jared and Jensen had presented to her. Their love was all she needed, she knew that. But was it enough to keep the vultures away? They hadn’t even gone public with their relationship. They had decided to wait until the show was over, knowing some of the fans may not react favorably. But bringing a child into the mix will change everything. Would they get married? Could they even get married? They were a unit and loving them was the most natural thing in the world for Y/N.

She mulled her thoughts over until the water chilled. Stepping out of the tub, she noticed it hadn’t started raining yet and a plan formulated in her mind. She wrapped a towel around her and went to their room. She could hear them moving about in the main room of the cabin, so she knew she could take her time.

Jared and Jensen were watching a baseball game when their phones went off. Jensen opened his notifications first. “It’s from Y/N.”

“Bring stuff for s’mores and meet me outside please. I love you,” he read her text aloud.

“I got it,” Jared acknowledged, getting up from the sofa. He grabbed a large tray and loaded all the ingredients on to it. “Ready.”

Jensen grabbed the roasting sticks, the wine and three glasses, following him to the door. Y/N sat alone with a blanket in front of the fire pit on the large deck.

“Hey, Baby,” Jared said softly, setting the tray down next to her.

Jensen poured the wine and handed them out. He didn’t say anything, he knew she’d talk when she was ready. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and took a seat on her right.

Y/N didn’t speak either. She grabbed a marshmallow and impaled it on the roasting stick. She turned it slowly in the fire, roasting it golden brown. Jared quietly observed her, and Jensen sat back, sipping his wine, doing the same. When it was ready, she took the graham cracker and chocolate and sandwiched the soft marshmallow between them, pulling it off the stick in one smooth motion.

“You see this s’more?” Y/N broke the silence, looking at each of her lovers, as she held the treat in her hand. They both nodded and she continued.

“Jen, my love, my strength. You’re the graham cracker that provides a solid foundation. I love you.” She turned to Jared. “Jare, my love, my sweetness. You’re the chocolate, soft and sweet. I love you. I’m the marshmallow, slightly imperfect at the edges, slightly imperfect on the inside, a little firm, but still soft and melty, that melds it all together, making it one.”

“Darlin, we’re sorry for springing that conversation on you at dinner,” Jensen apologized. “We shouldn’t have blindsided you like that.”

“No, you shouldn’t have. But we can’t go back and change it now. I did a lot of thinking while I was in the bathtub. There are pros and cons to every relationship, but ours is more public than most. There are a hundred things that could go wrong.”

“Baby, we were just so excited about the prospect of-” Jared began, but Y/N’s hand stopped him.

“I’m not done. There are a hundred things that could go wrong, but I weighed them against the thousands of things that could go right. To be honest, I’m scared shitless about what could go wrong, but I was when we started this too. I don’t want to let the fear stop me from living my best life with the two of you,” Y/N professed, taking a bite of the s’more still in her hand. “Let’s do it.”

“What?” Jensen asked.

“She said ‘Let’s do it’, Jen!” Jared repeated.

“Yeah?” Jensen marvelled, looking at her wide-eyed, waiting for confirmation from her.

“Yeah. Let’s start a family,” she nodded, smiling around the gooey treat in her mouth. She passed it off to Jared, who took his own bite before giving the rest to Jensen.

Lightning lit up the sky and thunder rumbled overhead right before the sky opened up and the rain started falling. Y/N grabbed the tray and ran for the door while Jensen broke down the fire. Jared held all three glasses and the wine, rushing through the open door, shaking out his hair.

Jensen closed the door behind them just as the really heavy stuff started coming down. “Damn, I wanted to make a s’more too!” He griped, looking up at the sky from the safety of the window.

“I want s’more s’mores, too,” Jared giggled.

“Are we sure we want kids? I think I’ve got my hands full with the two you already!” Y/N teased.

“Hey!” Jared feigned offense.

“Jen, start a fire?” Y/N asked sweetly, setting the tray down on the coffee table.

“Oh! Great idea!” Jensen rubbed his hands together. He stacked a few logs in the fireplace, with the right amount of kindling. He opened the flue and lit a match and, within moments, a fire burned brightly.

The trio waited for the fire to be perfect before they sat down in front of it to roast more marshmallows. Jensen was quiet, turning his own in the flames.

“Jen, baby, what’s on your mind?” Y/N asked, running her fingers through his slightly damp hair.

“I was just thinking about what you said. About me being the foundation. Thank you. I always want to do what is right by you, by both of you. I want to be your strength, your rock. But, in the times that I can’t, I know that one or both of you will be there. You and Jared were my strength when my dad was sick,” Jensen told them.

“We’re a unit, baby,” she whispered, leaning over to kiss him sweetly. She turned to Jared, kissing him as well.

“Hey, wait! I want s’more loving!” Jensen joked, pulling her back towards him.

“Don’t worry, baby, I got enough loving for both of you,” she promised.

“I can’t wait until there s’more of you to love,” Jared growled playfully, pulling her into his lap, facing Jensen.

“Enough with the s’mores jokes,” she moaned as Jared attached his lips to her neck.

“Gotta get s’more practice in before we start making babies,” Jensen mumbled, crawling towards them.

“Want s’more of this, baby?” Jared groaned in her ear, rutting into her backside.

“I always want s’more of both of you.”

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chainofbeing · 4 years

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Adam witnesses the destruction that can be brought on by the Anthronesians, and sees the all too familiar horror that festers in Mights mind.

Veatorian woman: Emmy Coates

Hass man: David M. Sledge

Might-Upon-Serenity: Frances Gillard

Ovig Nadal: Glyn Pritchard

Sound design, Writing, and, Adam Delta 5: Cai Gwilym Pritchard

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[the sound of a relatively busy town, music playing people talking, Vestak-cry at its busiest]

I stare down at Might, she’s not moving but her pain permeates the air, distress, anguish and fear, through something troubles her even beyond her wounds. The metal shell has grown back now and her organic interior is healing relatively well. “Is there anything I can do to help?,” I say to a Veatorian woman outside of the healers yurt, she looks me up and down “Can you use that?” She gestures to the spear at my side “somewhat,” I reply “go out and hunt,” she points toward the mesa “head that way for 4 hours and then head toward the minor sun, you’ll reach some rich hunting grounds, food is scarce we need something to give these bandits,” the proposition of just giving up upsets me, I’d seen this happen many times before, Forus Minor was the most recent, having spent a bit of time there I began to recognise the kind of person it took to coerce and steal in this way, “I’ll find a way to stop them, I promise,” she looks at me as if I’d promised to destroy the moon or reverse time “with the weapons they have? We can't all be immortal,”

[the sounds of swamp wilderness, insects and frogs making noise Adam trudging along]

I grab some water and a long piece of cloth to wrap around my head to keep cool and start walking, leaving my coat behind. My ribs ache as I walk and so I begin to consider the weapon that the masked woman carried to distract myself. A laser rifle, an actual fucking laser rifle. Like something out of an old sci-fi story. The idea seemed so fantastical to me, like hover cars or pills that you take instead of eating, I mean sure, On a big enough supercruiser or an OLCoSat, but research into handheld energy weapons had been discarded hundreds of years ago. And yet I watched my friend get hit with one. I’ve been walking toward the mesa in the far distance for an hour or so when I come across another town, this one far more built up than Vestak-cry,

[the town creaks and sways, old wood and metal settling, flies buzz and a light wind blows]

The tallest building is around 3 stories high, its wide and round and built out of the engine of a mega-hauler or something of a similar size, I don't recognise the make. It casts a shadow on the rest of the village, with a roof of plastic sheeting pulled taught across and fastened to several bars which are run through it. The rest of the town surrounds this centrepiece, densely packed due to the trench that defines the border of the town. There must be about 150 separate settlements all huddled around the tall central building. I circle round to the entrance, the large metal gates lie open as I walk over the makeshift bridge the smell of rot and decay becomes suddenly very intense, I look over into the ditch and see that there are several bodies lying at the bottom, many with gunshot wounds in the back of the head or with large singed portions of their body missing. In the town the walls of all the buildings are marked with large gashes and bullet holes, every so often a blackened streak will appear or a hole through several buildings lets the wind whistle through it. More bodies litter the town, the killing blows less methodical as some of them clutch lengths of iron rebar or other makeshift weapons grabbed in a moment of panic. Silence is relative, you may think where you are is quiet, but if you listen closely enough there will always be the sound of a vehicle or the wind blowing lightly, in concert halls after a powerful song ends the space is deathly quiet, even as the last waves created by the instruments reverberate in the room. The same is with the town, there is no silence, the wind blows and buildings settle, yet next to what must have been a loud and bustling organism made up of hundreds of people who all knew each other's names and lives, all with individual stories that converge on this one point, it might as well be a burial chamber, forgotten and lost. The Hollowed out engine is a market , from what I can gather, all along the circumference and in the core of it stalls are strewn about, small, yet useless, trinkets with the more valuable items stolen. On the front entrance to the market there is a Tra’ha’dowl, strung up from the iron bars which keep the plastic roof in place, it can only be a few weeks since he was killed, his small black eyes are sunken and faded with decay and his small many toothed maw hangs open, his rubbery pale skin hugs tightly to his skeleton as the flesh rots. Hung from his neck is a black banner with the white insignia of a six spoked wheel run through with a sword. Beneath this the words “Unto Humanity Only” are inscribed in an ancient human language, not spoken since the old days of humanity, before the council. I leave the town and begin a long arc back to vestak-cry hoping to cover as much ground as possible in the hopes of not returning empty handed. And so I once more march in the wilderness.

There's a large pool of water just ahead of me, some creature drinking from it causes ripples to emanate from its long toothy snout. It is hunched down on six legs and its long flowing feathers ripple in the light breeze, I extend my spear and it raises its head reflexively, a pair of ears shoot into the air and it tenses up, it goes to run but it stops, something slowly snakes up its legs and at first I think it's some kind of eel from the water or a serpent of some kind, but then I realise that the vines are pulling the creature into the water it calls out, thrashing in futile desperation. The tips of the vines pierce its skin and it falls still, its large black eyes lose their deep colour and go hazy and it allows itself to be pulled to the bottom of the pond. Completely astounded and with my spear pointed downwards in front of me I cautiously approach the edge of the pond, the water still ripples and I peer down into its depths, I can't see the bottom either due to its murkiness or its depth I can’t tell. A moan calls behind me and I spin around, spear raised, a smaller but much angrier looking version of the beast I watched get devoured is hunched down, it has less hair then the other and it is armed with a large set of chipped horns and long curved teeth. It charges and I stumble to the side narrowly avoiding getting run through. It gracefully turns around and goes for another charge and I thrust the spear at its eye, missing and instead adding another nick to its horns. On its third charge I drop to the ground and brace the end of my spear into the ground as it gores itself with the force of its own charge, I push up and forward against its ribs to keep it away from the edge of the water from which more vines smoothly snake outwards, and it stumbles away. I twist the ring on the pole and it electrifies, the beast cries out and its muscles tense up, while it’s still stunned I pull out the blade and drive it up through its jaw and into the skull, it collapses, and the vines begin to withdraw.

[the sound of Vestak cry, no music but people still talk and move about] Back at Vestak-Cry I drag my blood soaked cloth filled with the chopped up creature to the centre of town, I leave it next to a plastic barrel filled with fresh water and a large bushel of herbs, a meagre offering from a town of people whose value comes from the intellectual realm rather then the physical. Might is still unconscious when I go to check on her, two attendees surround her, sitting and staring into space, waiting for an improvement. “Surely she should be better by now?” I say impatiently to the Dŵrian closest to me, he blinks twice, one lid covering the whole bulging eye from the bottom and then opening again. “they don't talk, vow of silence,” a large hass sits in a rocking chair and is sprinkling some substance into their liquid filled breathing apparatus. “That’s a good thing if you ask me, Dŵrians have a natural sense of superiority. just because they are amphibious, it’s obnoxious.” “Well?” I ask, my attention shifting to the aquatic humanoid “She’s taking her time, that weapon the human carried really did a number on her, that ain't no usual firearm, seemed magical,” He looks me up and down “you’re probably fixin’ for an explanation huh?” I nod “suppose I can try and provide some illumination. People like us come here to be isolated. This is just a small fragment of who lives here. Most came here by accident ‘cept us that us that is. This planet is uniquely situated so that don’t appear on any maps and cannot be discovered by conventional means,” “How is that possible?” he shrugs, “ maybe the mineral makeup of the planet? Perhaps some ancient artefact buried deep within some hidden temple just waiting for you to go get it,” he says sarcastically and then laughs, “we could spend hours speculating. But the point is that ‘cause of this... phenomenon there are lots of people on this rock who would rather not be, people who had no good reason for being out this far away from hubs of the galaxy if you catch my drift.” Anyone trying to keep out of council monitored widening field routes by using backway lanes and jump points mixed with a planet that doesn't show up on scanners gets you a bunch of unsavoury types on the same planet as other vulnerable and lost people which is never good. He points up at one of the mesas far in the distance, the green mess of the vines gradually becoming more sparse, presumably as whatever gas the plant breathes becomes less abundant. “The group that human is a part of are set up on that plateau there, they came here about 4 months ago, they’ve already set up base out of the ship they came here on, They’re not here on accident, they don't wanna be found. When they got here we thought nothing of it. But then they started expanding outwards. The nearest village, sapiran… well, humans aren't exactly known for their peaceful nature, no offence,” “None taken,” I say, my eyes fixed on might, “and the vines?” I ask “What about them?” he says, surprised at my asking “They cover every square inch of the ground, everywhere I go it grows incredibly densely and it doesn't behave like a plant should, aren't there any vitamancers here? Surely they‘d know something about it?” “The only vitamancy that gets here is by our amphibious friend here,” he points at the Dŵrian who looks absently at the horizon, “hey Bedyw,” the Dŵrian doesn't flinch. The Hass man picks up a chunk of whatever substance he was filtering into his breathing apparatus and flicks it at the Dŵrian who starts and looks at the Hass with visible confusion on their scaled face “you’ve got a vow of silence not a vow of not listening! The vines!” Bedyw shrugs what do you expect me to do? “I dunno, mime it or something,” They raise their hands and scrunch up their face at the ridiculousness of the idea but go to try and explain anyway. they look me in the eyes and put their hand on the ground tugging at the vines, then they motion the shape of a sphere “the vines cover the whole planet?” they give me a thumbs up. They hold up a single claw and then put their fingers to their temples and draw them away, splaying out their hands and widening their eyes as they do so. “One… dream? One explosion?” they turn to the Hass man and gestures hey I tried.

“Well that was unhelpful and confusing,” Bedyw does another gesture that I don't recognise but assume is some expletive. “If you don't mind me askin’” the Hass man says taking a deep breath from his breathing tube which sits on around his neck, “what's the deal with you two? Me and Bedyw reckon you're ex-lovers or something” “No it's not like that,” I say “Well what is it like?” I pause, nothing quite describes it really, no one else in the whole universe has been through what we had been through and had lived in the way we had. “It’s more like…we’re siblings, sort of,” “I've got plenty of siblings, some 400, but mama always said I was the special one. how’d you become acquainted then?” “It’s a long story,” “I’ve got time,” “No, it starts at the beginning of life itself in the universe so you really don’t,” “Fair enough,” he grumbles “Sorry, but aren't you more worried about the Anthronesians? Not how I met Might?” “Everything is as it was ever going to be,” The Dŵrian rolls their eyes “Aren't you more worried about what's up with Might?” he asks “I mean sure, but I just have to be patient, she’ll heal in time,” “Not her wounds kid,” he says but then realises how ridiculous he looks calling someone hundreds of thousands of years old ‘kid’ “Can you not see it?” “Oh. right.” “Somethings eatin’ at her, she ain’t been right for the past few weeks. We can all see it, surprised you can’t” “It’s been such a long time since I’ve seen her I just assumed this is how she is now I- I don't know,” Might begins to stir, a deep black sphere appears above her forehead and the air around her starts to shiver, “See?” I say moving over to her “if she’s still having visions, it can't be that bad,” “This ain’t like usual, somethings wrong,” A thin line of black emerges from her eyes like tears streaming upwards into the air and they make contact with the sphere of light hovering above her. The world suddenly turns black and I feel myself brought into her mind.

[the vision realm is harmonious, slightly musical almost, but also tortured and disturbing]

I’m in a small cave, the walls are made of dark strings which splay outwards, through the thick tangle I see the shape of some huge creature move around and snake up and over my head settling behind might who stands at the other end, the tangle of thin lines emanating from behind her, she stands with her hands out, strings wrapped and tangled between her fingers. “Adam,” she says, her voice travelling along the threads , “We have little time. Eden, you need to get there first, to the start of it all,” A dark shadow appears behind her but neither of us react, as if we had known of its presence long before it arrived. “To leave this place” she pulls down a thread, plucks it and watches the vibrations travel away from her “You must go to the Anthronesians, they have a dissimulation field, they’re hiding something, uncover it” she points and I know where she means, on top of the mesa. The shadow places a pale hand on her shoulder and the lights in her body around where he grips her change into a polychromatic haze, glowing brightly, “after that you don't need to worry, your path will become clear,” “Yeah sure I’ll be totally calm,” she gestures the equivalent of a melancholy smile with her hands, a depth to her feeling lost on me, due to my limited perception of the light spectrum. The shadow grows larger. “If this doesn't work,, will you visit the others? I’m sure they’d like to see you. Well, most of them anyway,” “If what doesn't work?” The haze of rapidly shifting light completely engulfs her body and she draws her sword, pulling the threads wrapped around her fingers down, untangling many of the knots that provide the ceiling and walls with structure. She spins and swings the blade in an upward motion cutting up the shadows chest and severing a few threads in the process. An angry mist of polychrome energy bursts from the wound singing more and severing them. The shadow hatefully grabs might by the mask and throws her to the ground, unfazed she jabs the sword into his forearm and pulls it back toward her. The shadow recoils in shock and might rolls back onto her feet. The darkness around the shadow dissipates and for the first time I see Ovig Nadal in his true intolerable and impossible form,

From his eyeless head which hangs on a long stooped neck a white set of horns wriggle and writhe violently like maggots, and Impossibly and most distressing they are simultaneously still. Two sets of wings protrude out from his back, long and bowed. The edges of his body shiver and shudder, as he moves 7 echoes of his motions follow like ghosts each in a different colour of the light spectrum. His wide and smiling jaw hangs open as he pants, polychrome gas rising from his gullet with each deep breath. This same gas drips in liquid form from his fresh wound. Surrounded by an ashy substance which is the same pallid colour as his skin, His presence emanates outwards, in defiance of the universe and he holds out his slender, clawed hand as if presenting the damage to us. His form refuses to hold a consistent shape, undoubtedly might be witnessing a separate horror however, despite the shifting form, my eyes sting with tears nonetheless.

[The sound of the vision realm is filled with the words that Ovig Nadal is about to speak, mere glimpses hard to discern fully until he says them]

The image of this edgeless horror is known to me; it has festered in the back of my mind since Eden, as it is in all of humanity, all generations proceeding from me are instilled with a fear of him, the impact of my actions seared his image deep into the collective unconscious. “I seek only to free you, you blinded children, you thankless and scornful hordes,” as he speaks the matter which he appears to be made of begins to flake and an ashy substance fills the air. “You are an alien in this universe,” might says, “and in this of all realms you have even less grasp of your place, you are more of concept than of being, but even ideas can be laid to rest and quelled, I banish you, you who would seek to revoke and undo, my mind will not be a battleground for you. So fuck off.” The last of the ash dissipates and the black threads fade to blue and then into nothing, we now stand in a large empty space in which there is the true nothing "That's better," she says and I awaken to the sight of the Dŵrian and the Hass standing over me "You okay kid?" The Hass asks me "Yeah I'm good," "What was that all about?" "Vision realm, extra-dimensional creature had possessed might but it's fine now" The two look at each other and then back to me "Fair enough," might rouses from her sleep as I am pulled to me feet Not one to waste time she speaks before I can "that was weird huh?" "What was that move all about?" "I don't know I just suddenly felt that was was I was meant to do, it felt so right," “So he’s why your visions were different then?” “I guess so, but I’m not sure why he didn't just possess me outright? Its like something was keeping him from completely taking over,” “I didn't think anything could stop his will,” she turns to me, serious now "if you want to deactivate the dissimulation field you're going to have to go now," "No goodbyes?" "We'll see each other again, I'm sure,” "Do you know that or are you just being sentimental," “we’re immortal, the odds are that eventually we’ll run into each other" She roots through one of her pockets "Take this, for your little bag of tricks," She holds out a small bronze sphere, covered in seams and edges "Is this-?" I ask "Yeah," she answers "Holy shit, this is so rare! I don't know if I’ll feel right using it," "Farewell, Adam" "Farewell might-upon-serenity," We refrain from using each other's curse names. I turn and head in the direction of the Mesa, with a simple mission in mind and a trust that my friend will guide me well.

#sci-fi #scifi #podcast transcript #transcript #audiodrama #audio drama

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mst3kproject · 5 years

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Tarantulas: the Deadly Cargo

I tend to associate this movie with Killer Fish – probably because I originally watched them on consecutive days, but they’ve got many other things in common. Both feature dull 70’s actors facing off against small animals that aren’t nearly as dangerous as pop culture would have us believe. Both go out of their way to avoid showing us anything genuinely exciting or cool. Both have boring, contrived climaxes, and both have titles that are technically accurate but dismally forgettable. If this one had dropped the Tarantulas and just called itself Deadly Cargo, that would be ten times better already.

A couple of crooks fly out of Ecuador with no idea that their cargo of coffee beans and illegal immigrants is, for some reason I cannot even begin to fathom, infested with spiders. A bad engine and the aggressive spiders lead to a crash landing in Finleyville, California. This is a sleepy little hick town that depends on the citrus industry, and they clearly haven’t had an emergency in about twelve years but they do their best to rise to the occasion. Unfortunately, their attempts to help only unleash the deadly arachnids on their community. Eventually, the townspeople find that the spiders have made themselves at home in the town’s fruit warehouse. If they cannot be somehow removed, the oranges will be unsalable, and Finleyville will go broke without a crop.

No shit. The greatest threat presented by the spiders in this movie is to the town’s economy. I don’t know why I find that so funny. Most spider movies present us with the horror of a slow venom death, often while playing up the omg, it’s touching me! angle. Giant spider movies give us huge monsters that can entangle and devour us. Tarantulas: the Deadly Cargo threatens that not only might we be bitten by spiders, we won’t be able to afford health insurance afterwards!

The economic angle is the key to what this movie is. It’s trying to be something, and the first time I watched it, I wasn’t paying enough attention to pick it out. On the second viewing, when the owner of the orange-packing plant refuses to shut down operations because of a few spiders, it clicked – this was a Jaws ripoff! It’s got the shark and the Fourth of July Weekend and the whole thing! There’s even a Little Alex Kitner, in the form of a kid who climbs a truck to see one of the spiders after the driver assures him it’s perfectly harmless. Deadly Cargo has changed enough details that it could have been an interesting variation on this formula, but by the time the movie’s over its choice of shark stand-in has pushed it into a couple of corners it just can’t get out of.

I’ll come back to that – first, it’s Spider Nerd time again, and I actually do have to give Deadly Cargo some points for research. Characters present a dead spider to some sort of scientist, who identifies it as a Brazilian Wandering Spider, Phoneutria nigriventer. This species can be dangerous to humans, but usually only to small children, and they’re one of the few spiders capable of delivering a ‘dry’ bite that’s intended to scare rather than to kill. They’re sometimes called banana spiders because of a reputation for hanging out in shipments of fruit, but I don’t think they’ve ever been found hiding in coffee beans. Why would a spider hide in coffee beans? Spiders like small spaces to crawl into, such as those you find in between bunches of bananas or oranges in a box. Coffee beans are too small to create spider-sized hidey holes!

The Nondescript Scientist also notes that Phoneutria isn’t a tarantula – another reason why the word Tarantulas should not have been in the title. It also got a snort out of me because almost all the spiders we see in this movie are in fact Mexican Red-Knee Tarantulas (there are also a couple of Chilean Rose-Hairs). These are the same spiders we saw in Ator: the Fighting Eagle, and are the spiders of choice for horror movies because they are docile, easy to handle, and don’t bite. So yeah, if you ever actually see one of these in real life, you can just push it the hell over.

As long as I’m talking about the spiders in this movie, I’d like to know how they got into town so fast. One minute the spiders are at the crash site in the middle of empty fields, the next they’re harassing the faculty at the School for Autistic Children (are you already cringing? Wait until you see the kids marching in lockstep to an obnoxious whistle). Spiders move at like one mile per hour. Did the plane explosion just spray them across the entire state?

Plane explosion? Yeah, of course there’s a plane explosion in this movie, and it’s fucking annoying because they came so close to not having one. After the crash the plane develops a fuel leak – but the town’s fire chief immediately notices it, and directs people to dig a trench the fuel can flow into so it won’t pool. He goes around making sure nobody lights a cigarette or anything, and for a moment I really thought this might be a movie in which common sense prevails… but then some jackass on a motorcycle drives straight into the trench. Seeing a giant fireball in a movie has never left me more disappointed.

I have digressed, though. Let’s talk about the climax of the movie, which is one of the places where it most strongly resembles Killer Fish. Killer Fish had the whole cast trapped with piranhas all around their boat. Tarantulas: the Deadly Cargo has them all in a warehouse full of spiders, as a power outage simultaneously shuts down the noise that had paralyzed the creatures and locks the doors.

This situation is so forced that it probably requires more explanation. The spiders must be removed from the oranges so that they can be shipped, but the townspeople cannot just spray the fruit with insecticides, because their buyer specifically paid for chemical-free (somebody does try to argue that he didn’t pay for spider-free, which amuses me more than it should). Therefore they paralyze the spiders with the sound of angry wasps and go around shoveling them into buckets of booze.

Like Banana Spiders, Spider-Wasps are actually a thing – the family pompilidae lay their eggs inside living spiders so that the larvae will hatch surrounded by something they can eat. What I can’t find when I looked these up is any reference to the spiders being paralyzed by terror when they hear the wasps coming. This seems pretty counter-productive from the spiders’ point of view – if you hear your deadliest enemy closing in on your, wouldn’t it be far more effective to run and hide, rather than roll over and present your belly to be ovipositored?

So that’s all ridiculous, and then we don’t even get a real sense of anybody ‘winning’ at the end. The supposed moment of triumph isn’t the spiders being out of the oranges, it’s the trapped people escaping through the roof. In Killer Fish the piranhas ate the human villain and Kate escaped with the jewels. Deadly Cargo doesn’t have a human villain – the greedy plant owner looks like he might be able to fill this role, but no, he’s later treated as vindicated when they almost lose the orange crop! This means the only ‘bad guys’ here are the spiders, and dropping their helplessly paralyzed bodies into poison just doesn’t feel like a victory. Neither does watching boxes of oranges go out on a train. It’s just lacking something.

It doesn’t help that the end of both movies also just leaves the killer animal problem lying there. In Killer Fish the whole area is still infested with piranhas – what does that mean for the tourism industry? Is there any way to get rid of them? In Deadly Cargo we can’t possibly be a hundred percent sure all the spiders are gone. Some might still be hanging around in somebody’s fruit bowl. Someone in another part of the country might find a hairy leg in their organic marmalade. We never knew how many spiders there were, so we can’t be sure they’re all gone and not out invading ecosystems where they have no natural predators.

Another big part of why Deadly Cargo is so unsatisfying is not only does it lack a villain, the good characters are never well-defined enough for us to really identify with any of them. There’s a young couple and a fire chief and the plant owner, but I can’t remember any of their names. The only people we get a sense of are the spider victims, who are introduced just enough to tell us that they either deserved to die (Mrs. Beasley, cheating on her husband) or didn’t (Little Alex Kitner). We can’t even feel for the girl weeping over her dead brother.

There’s a heap of other silly bullshit in this movie. Like the guy who opens a trapdoor in the ceiling and then just stands there screaming like an idiot as three or four spiders fall on him – a shot that probably looked way cooler in the director’s imagination. Or the straight-faced implication that the spiders could sense the warehouse full of oranges from four miles away and headed directly for it. Most of this is just mildly amusing rather than laugh-out-loud funny. I’m sure Jonah and the bots could make a diverting episode out of this, but I don’t know if even they could make a memorable one.

#reviews #mst3k #tarantulas: the deadly cargo #episodes that never were #tw: spiders #70s

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randomgirltalking · 5 years

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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills S09E02 Review

I love when Lisa V and Kyle get together. These two ladies always have a blast, just the two of them, and the opening of episode two’s scenes are no exception. Kyle pops over to Vila Rosa and the two ladies make their way to some sort of “make me look like I’m not 50, please” clinic. I suspect that in Beverly Hills, these clinics are similar to when Starbucks came around - one keeps popping up in every corner.

After being offered laughing gas by a man who looks 30 but is probably 60, Lisa V giggles her ass off, wriggling around in the surgeon’s chair whilst Dr Ken doll periodically jabs her neck with a syringe full of filler. What I like about Kyle and Lisa V is, while I know they’re both a fan of Botox, they don’t go overboard by injecting themselves with fillers that puff their faces up to look like they had a hard night on the town. I never understood why older women like this look and I’m thankful that Courtney Cox had all of her fillers dissolved.

Lisa R, Dorit and Erika prove that they were the only three people available for filming that day as they were thrust together for a restaurant scene. Erika takes MVP in this episode for being a woman after my own heart and ordering a beer - “anything in a bottle,” she tells the waitress while Lisa R and Dorit applaud her brave choice and reminisce of the times when they were poor and had no choice but to do keg stands.

I was wondering how they were going to segue into talking about a “girls trip.” Dorit laments the stressful time she’s had lately with the robbery (even though she escaped to do an Eat, Pray, Love scenario in Utah) and the dog saga. “Why don’t we have a girls trip?” She unsurprisingly suggests. I was taken aback that a trip was mentioned when were only two episodes in, but we quickly learn that this is not the “main” girls trip, just the entreè. After throwing around Lake Tahoe (where Erika thinks she may have a house) and other various locations around the US (where Erika may or may not have a house), Dorit suddenly remembers that her sister had just gotten back from a new resort in the Bahamas. Translation: This new resort wanted to put their business out there so approached Bravo and offered an all expense paid trip if they mention the resort name a few hundred times.

So it’s settled, then. Bahamas it is and all the girls are contractedly invited by Dorit. Yes, even Teddy, PK.

Teddy and Lisa R take a hike up one of the many mountain trails in LA. Teddy confides that she, like many other young girls, had originally moved to LA to become an actress. After being disheartened by hearing from her agent that the feedback from casting directors was that she needed to lose weight, Teddy spiraled into an unhealthy eating habit and gained even more weight. This event kick started her healthy eating and exercise regime and out of it grew her accountability business. I have to say, I didn’t quite understand what she did for a living - kind of like a toss up between a personal trainer and a life coach but I am completely for it now. Sometimes you just need a stranger to kick your ass and encourage you. I didn’t much care for Teddy last season but she’s truly come into her own on season 9. This is why I think you should give the new girl a second season as you never really get their full personality until the next season in and they’re more comfortable telling the other ladies where to shove it. Of course there are exceptions to this rule *cough* Kim Fields *cough*. *cough* Peggy Sulhain *cough*.

On the opposite side of the eating disorder scale, Lisa R chats honestly with her daughter (I wanna say Amelia?) about her eating disorder. Amelia’s not Lisa R’s. I don’t really follow much of these ladies outside of the show but apparently Amelia developed anorexia which she has come out of but is still working on. Good luck, Amelia, on your journey and well done for publicly telling your story as many girls and boys go through this illness. I won’t mention the flashback of Katherine joking that Lisa R doesn’t like to eat. Okay I’ll mention it, because we were all concerned that Lisa R had food issues on previous seasons where she turned down or barely nibbled on food that was offered to her. While she denies having an eating disorder, I’m glad to see her enjoying food this season. Maybe in previous seasons she had eaten before filming?

We also did not have to wait long until we hear from actual Charlie Sheen himself, even if it is via phone call. Denise lives in Malibu on a beautiful beach house. This is my favourite house out of the RHOBH castmates as, while smaller than the others mansions, it has the beach right at their doorstep and I’m a whore for the beach. Anyway, we are introduced properly to Denise’s newish beau, Aaron. He does some sort of body alignment thing - can’t be bothered learning what he does just yet. They seem good together, I suppose. Denise has three girls, two with Charlie and one she adopted. I did actually hear the rumour Denise jokes about that her adopted daughter, Eloise, is Charlie’s child with a stripper. *Cackle* I don’t believe it, of course, but it’s one of those rumours that, if turned out to be true, you would shrug and say “meh, I kinda figured.”

Denise reminds her daughter, Lola, that she can’t date until she’s 16 which she brands unfair (I can’t wait until my daughter is a teen). Denise then keeps her promise to the producers that she can get Charlie on the show by prompting her daughter to call him to ask about the upcoming homecoming dance and whether she can go with a boy. Charlie sounded good on the phone - clean, coherent and just like a Dad kept his place as the “fun parent” and promptly passed the rule making back to Denise. Insert anti climatic sound here.

Moving on, Kyle visits Mauricio at work where she has a waahh moment thinking about her third daughter moving out and off to college. Mauricio, typical man that he is, tries to comfort her by doing good news, bad news and reminding her that she’s done this twice already with their two older girls. Thanks, Mauricio.

Continuing with the food theme, Lisa R invites the ladies over where she has a chef round to guide them on stuffing chocolate heart molds with candy. I’m waiting for one of them to bring Gordon Ramsey round while he berates them as they try to debone a chicken.

Present are Erika, Denise, Dorit and Camille who I guess is on now as a friend of the cast mates but kind of a series regular without the corny tag line.

While Erika once again claims my heart by devouring cake and matter of factly stating that these ladies should just “eat the fucking cake, who cares,” the ladies quickly discuss their sex life. Denise confides that she hooked up with Aaron fairly quickly after visiting his clinic and fucking him in his office. For some reason Erika states that this image is up there with her favourite porn. Actually, come to think of it, it does sound like a cheesy porn scene. Woman with insanely large breasts visits doctor with insanely large... muscles...

Teddy tells the group that she met her husband coming out of a nightclub and she sealed the deal with him that night. High five, girlfriend! As someone who shagged their fiancé on their first “date” sometimes when you know, you know. Or in my case, are just a horny bitch. Teddy states that she and her husband have sex about twice a week. This earns shocked gasps from some of the ladies as Denise tells us in her confessional that she and Aaron have sex everyday. Ahh the throes of early love. How exhausting. Despite the outrage, I note that it’s radio silence from Erika and Dorit.

The biggest gossip we hear, and proving my comment on my blog from episode 1 that everyone is six degrees separated from each other in Hollywood, Denise tells us that Aaron is still married yet has been separated for two years. Lisa R adds that Aaron’s ex is Nicolette Sheridan who Lisa R’s husband, Harry Hamlin, used to be married to. She spills that they broke up when Nicolette attended a Michael Bolton concert while Harry Hamlin was away in Canada. She then took up with Michael Bolton immediately after the concert, dumping poor Harry Hamlin. The ladies raise their champagne flutes, toasting the oblivious Miss Sheridan for giving Lisa R Harry Hamlin and their two kids. I sipped my own beer in a bottle. Not as a toast but in commiseration to Harry Hamlin for putting up with Lisa R for so long.

Finally the ladies are ready to head off to the Bahamas. No cattle class for these ladies - not even first class. Bravo (or the new Bahamas resort) splashed out for a private jet to escort the ladies. Lisa V continues her British dark humour by boarding the plane and telling Dorit that she had “gotten something right for once.” I know some people may consider her mean but I think she’s a riot. And I can see that most of the time she’s just taking the piss (mostly). It was kind of mean (but mostly funny) when Dorit asked Lisa V to room with her in her suite and Lisa V reacted with horror. I’m still trying to decide whether Lisa V was joking or not when she mentioned Dorit’s snoring and gas issues as the reason for not wanting to board with her. She even asked for swapsies. Okay, since Dorit (and the Bahamas tourism board) planned this trip, it was kind of mean. But still fucking hilarious.

This episode, to be honest, seemed like a filler episode (even without Lisa V’s neck lift). Not much happened but I guess it helped build up the upcoming episodes. Can’t wait to see what kind of mischief these ladies get up to on tour!

#rhobh #the real housewives of beverly hills #vanderpump #review #erika jayne #season 9

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infiniteregress17 · 6 years

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The Missing Episode... Every show worth its salt has one. Here’s mine...

The Doctor nods almost imperceptibly at Clara, and leaves the cavern. He doesn’t turn back to look at her. She’s the best thing about his life right now and he’s not about to let her be devoured by a crystal creature with a fetish for nude women smothered in oil. He’s appalled and furious at the whole idea. He hides in an alcove just outside the arch into the cavern, and waits. The brain scuttles through the information he has. What is the ceremony for? What’s the significance of these frankly disturbing details? He remembers her sweetness, the feel of her skin against his and the intimate pleasure of their togetherness in the hot baths. He thinks of the consequence of that, the possibility flowering inside her right now, and how easy it would be for that to fade rather than bloom. He can’t find words for it yet, just the faintest wisp of hope fluttering at the edge of his senses that they can make something together.

It’s twenty minutes or more before Clara comes, and he’s in a lather by then, imaging all sorts of exotic horrors for the ceremony tomorrow. He doesn’t know the protocol for merging with a giant crystal, and he doesn’t want to find out any time soon.

He hears her footsteps before he sees her, padding across the smooth rock floor. As they arranged, she walks right past and doesn’t even glance his way. He waits, poised, eyes fixed on the cavern arch. Unwin steps through, and the Doctor fells him with surgical precision, Venusian Aikido at its finest. Unwin plummets to the floor.

In a second Clara’s by his side and they drag Unwin out of sight. She checks his breathing, then whispers, “Sorry Unwin. I like you, but not enough to get myself sacrificed to a rock monster.”

The Doctor admires her magnanimity. She looks up and kisses him quickly, a brief touch of lips in the dim alcove. It’s fire lighting him on. He takes her hand and they flee through the winding tunnels. He recognises features, remembers a twist here and a rock formation there, and he thinks they are close to the stretch that will take them to the place they jumped last time, when three large figures block their way.

He feels Clara tense beside him. “Look, no offence, but this feeding me to the crystal really isn’t on. Just let us go.”

“You do not understand,” says one of the men, who looks like a Shamen, dressed in finer robes than the others. He shuffles forward.

“Enlighten us.” The Doctor’s playing for time, hoping to glean something useful.

Clara’s grip on his hand tightens, and he senses her fear.

“The Crystal will sustain and protect us for another hundred years, once the Bright One joins with Mirkan.”

“How? How does it protect and sustain you? Why do you need Clara for that?”

“She looked into the Crystal and the Crystal looked into her. It chose her. They are entwined. It is the only way we survive. We do not wish to harm her.“

The Doctor pulls her back, puts his body between them and her. “The whole thing sounds pretty harmful to me. Not to mention obscene.”

The Shaman raised his hand. “There will be no obscenity, on this you have our word.” He smiled, reverently, drinking Clara up with his eyes. “The joining is nature at its most beautiful and most raw. Nothing must come between the Bright One and the Light. Her perfection will be cherished and honoured, tomorrow and for eternity.”

“I won’t allow it.” The Doctor speaks calmly, reasonably, but with finality.

The Shaman doesn’t change his expression. “You can not stop it. You came here, of your own free will. When she chose to gaze into the crystal matrix, she consented to what she must become.”

“Its not consent if someone doesn’t know the consequences,” the Doctor snapped.

Clara moves from behind him, and says, “I don’t consent.”

The Shaman just shakes his head. “Your aura is already fused. You can not be unbound.” He raises his arm. There’s a fragment of bright blue light pulsing in his hand. Even without the sonic glasses the Doctor sees colours stream from it to Clara.

She drops his hand. He scrabbles for her but she’s already slipped out of reach, stepping forward as if hypnotized. Her eyes seem glassy, her skin waxen. He tries to reach for her but his feet are frozen. He is helpless. Her head is thrown back, her long hair spilling down her back, and he is utterly powerless to stop her progress towards the light. Its as if an unseen rope pulls her forward.

Words won’t form. Why can’t he move? Then he sees it. Just as one crystal fragment draws her towards the Shaman, another holds him in place. Synchronicity. The Crystal matrix. Suddenly he sees everything.

He’s dimly aware of a shadow by his left side. Something flashes towards him. Stars explode in his vision. His knees buckle. He gasps her name, but blackness creeps over him. The Last thing he sees is Clara's chestnut hair, falling loose against her back, and he remembers how soft she is. How she smells. How she tastes. He sees the Shaman smile and stretch out his hand and grip hers. The Doctor is sick to his stomach as she is taken. Then he sees nothing more.

story continues here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13729449/chapters/31884459

#doctor who #Whouffaldi #lost paragraphs

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impala-dreamer · 7 years

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Some Personal Junk...

And why I was so friggin' emotional all weekend. This is really just personal rambling, you can skip it... ;)

Two years ago I was drowning.

I have a good life. I’m married to my best friend who is amazing and supportive and loves me no matter what. He makes me laugh everyday. Does and says things just to see me smile. He’s amazing. I have two boys who are exceptional humans and so smart and handsome and talented and growing into awesome people. I have family close by, I have a home I love, a job that’s pretty sweet.

But within all that are lots of hard things, that I won’t get into, but they wore on me. I was beaten down, tired, losing my mind. And, slowly, I slipped into my own head and it wasn’t good in there. Still isn’t some days. I do/have(?) this thing where I have very vivid daydreams. I don’t really know how to explain it if you don’t experience it (in fact, I’ve only ever met one other person who does it too), but basically, I can get swept up in my head and will literally talk to people who aren’t there, act out scenarios, and at one point, I had an entire alternate life going on. And no, it wasn’t all peaches and cream over there either. There was a lot of angst too. It started to scare me, after a while, because I found myself heading there, not just right before I went to sleep as was usual, but whenever I was alone. Doing laundry, I would be there. Washing dishes, it was around me. Sitting quietly, crocheting, I was in it. It was becoming a lot. So, I decided to write one of the stories down. It became Crazy Love. And, with that, I realized I loved to write. Going back to writing was amazing and I started another story and another and another. And with that, I spent a little less time in my daydreams. It was good.

I don’t know why I turned on Supernatural the first time, but I did. And Bill and I watched the Pilot and half-way through I turned it off. I didn’t like it. Or, rather, it didn’t grab me enough to push me through the rest. So, we went about our business.

Things got really shitty again, and I couldn’t keep it together. And it was a lot outside the house too, issues with close friends who decided to become fuckers and try and ruin things. Anyway, I took it all inside myself and I was losing it. I started doing something occasionally that I found stopped me from crying; just pressing something sharp into my palm, mostly I used a paperclip. It helped. It kept me in the moment, let me focus enough to calm down. After a while it escalated into scratching hard with the edge, and then, a few times, and I’m not proud of this, I used a scissor when the paperclip wasn’t enough. It was getting bad.

Something made me turn Supernatural back on. Maybe I was done with a Lost rerun, maybe the cover art just grabbed me, but I did. And after I watched the pilot, I kept going. And going. It wasn’t truly until ‘Home’ that I realized I was in love. I spent night and day watching until I was done with everything on Netflix. Season 11 was still airing so I was stuck. I found a way to watch them online. I devoured everything. Then came the search for more. I found fanfiction.net and I went the fuck to town. I read everything. EVERYTHING. I fell in love with it all. I waited patiently for my favorite fic to update (I still go back to it, and it is my favorite ever. “Learning to Fly” by badasscompany) a thousand or so chapter Destiel Romance that I will never let go of. I started to write. I thought, writing helped before, let me try something with Dean and Sam. I posted on ff.net. Boy, people actually like this! Cool! I kept going. I stopped with the paperclips.

Then Misha joined Tumblr and I was like “What is this? I’ll go too!” And boy what a mistake. There’s so much more fanfic here and I like the format better! Hurray! Oh, I read everything. I remember first falling in love with Iwantthedean’s “Angeles” series. And then I found torn-and-frayed’s “STPB” and, that was it. I was officially hooked forever. Those two series brought me here and kept me here and I wrote and wrote and wrote. And here we are.

I’m not ashamed to say that my obsession with Supernatural is probably unhealthy. And it’s far from casual. It’s all inclusive. It’s all day, every day. I watch an episode before work every morning and then when I get home, at least one more. I listen to panels when I work out. I watch gag reels when I start feeling bad again. I surround myself with it because it helps. I live and breath it because I cling to it. I need it. I talk to Sam. Everyday. When I’m bored while cooking, I put on music and I do SNS and sing with Rob and Jensen. I really do. (Jensen and I do an amazing duet to Ed Sheeran’s “Thinking Out Loud” it’s awesome. lol) I’m in it. And yes, it’s insane.

But what else I’ve found are friends. Dear, true, honest friends. Sure, fictional characters have brought us together, but we stayed because we like each other. We stay because we can share things and be silly together, and laugh and cry together. These friends I have made because of this show are people that I will love forever. They know who they are, you probably know who most of them are, I’m not going to name everyone. Even the more casual friends I have made, mean so much to me. But there are a few, maybe four or five people, that I will call my friend for the rest of my life. I trust them, and I love them. I was so blessed to meet two of them this weekend and I will always remember the joy of finally being in the same room with them. I’m about to cry thinking about that.

I got very emotional at the convention. Mostly the entire time, but I kept it under wraps for most of it. But, during SNS, I broke down. Jensen came out and the amazement of hearing him sing was a bit too much for me. When they started playing ‘Brother’, I was done for. Him singing that in Vegas is a go-to video for me when I am at my lowest. I also hate it. Because in my mind, no one will ever sing that to me. No one will ever love me enough to want to say those things to me. But this weekend, it meant something else. It reminded me of the love I do have because of this show. It reminded me of the connections I have made, and the reason I was there, at that con, and had maxed out a credit card to be there. Because of friends. And because of this stupid show that has meant so much to me.

Everyone there was just… happy to be there. Happy to be part of something. The fans were a family, whether we talked to each other or not. This show brought us all together. A thousand people were crammed into a room over a television show. I’ve been to a hundred conventions over the years, I’ve been an active Whovian for a long while, but nothing compared to this. Nothing has ever touched me, and helped me, and moved me in the way that Supernatural and this Fandom have.

What’s the point of this? I don’t know. I think I just needed to explain myself to the people who saw me cry and panic and act a fool all weekend. I feel silly about it, but here we are.

So, am I unnaturally obsessed with Supernatural? Yes. Is it probably a bad thing? Yes. Will I stop? No. I can’t. I don’t want to. I won’t. And personally, I like the disease.

#personal #rambling #spn junk #con emotions explaination #still doesn't explain why I hated Jensen but whatever #lol #poor j

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docsamurai · 7 years

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Sleeping With the Enemy: New Moon

The day of my 18th birthday I decided to test the Cullens so I could see firsthand their bloodlust. They had thrown a party for me and I contrived a way to cut myself on the wrapping paper of a gift. The reaction was more than I was expecting as Edward's "brother" Jasper lost control and lunged at me. Like most of the family he had been turned over a hundred years prior. Over a century of training and still this wild animal nearly killed me at the scent of a single drop of blood. It was a dangerous game I was playing with them but I was more sure than ever that I couldn't leave a single one of them alive. The biggest surprise of the night though was from the mastermind Carlisle. In the brief melee where the bloodsuckers with enough sense to restrain themselves held off Jasper I had been thrown across the room and injured. For a moment I felt real fear and had lost control of the situation but it was Carlisle who not only stepped in to intervene but who also took me away to give me medical attention. It was here that I experienced his surgical precision for the first time.

Carlisle was the oldest of the Cullens by an order of hundreds of years and unlike his minions he was able to completely resist the temptation of blood. If I didn't know him for the manipulative piece of shit that he is I might have almost mistaken him for kind. One look in his eyes told me all I needed to know though. I asked him why he resisted, why he didn't just give in and drink human blood. He was, after all, trying to tell me that they were "vegetarian". He paused for just a moment before telling me with a smirk that they were Damned enough as it is. "You can't be damned…" I told him, trying to appear sympathetic. I let the thought end there instead of saying "…because I'm nowhere near done with you."

"Is that why Edward won't change me?" I asked him point blank. Again he paused, "If the situation were reversed, could you take away his soul?" Carlisle casually burned the bloody gauze, removing the evidence and his own temptation. I knew then that I had overplayed my hand. The master of the Cullen clan had seen through my plan and was taunting me again. I may be able to outwit the simpleton Edward but this was a being who had not only kept a half dozen killing machines on a tight leash for well over a century but had existed for so long that this may not even be the first "Cullen" family. I had grown complacent. I thought I could test them and lure them into traps. I had been hunting them for less than a year but this one had been hunting humans for as long as the black death itself. To this day I don't how I walked out of that room alive. Maybe that immortal monster finds more amusement watching us squirm than in seeing us die. Maybe he respected me as an adversary. Maybe it was just an inopportune time.

The next few days pass with Edward avoiding me as I waited on the knife's edge for the Sword of Damocles to fall. Every shadow and empty room was a threat. I continued to keep up the act that I was the dutiful girlfriend hoping against hope that they might believe me to be as harmless as I felt. It was on the third day that Edward approached me in the parking lot outside of the school and asked me to "take a walk" with him. I refused to run. I would meet my end with dignity and would not let this sick freak see fear in my eyes, only hate. Edward surprised me though. He told me that they were leaving, that I had no place in their world, that he hated me. "No!" I screamed. It wasn't right! They had torn my world apart, had revealed the true existence of evil, had strung me along for months and now rather than put me out of my misery they were simply going to leave. To fly off to distant lands and let the knowledge that they were out there, hunting, killing, terrorizing the innocent and I was powerless to stop them. The monsters had won. The truth of it broke me. I blacked out there in the forest and nearly died. I wished that I had.

Months passed as the guilt came over me. I had failed to stop them. Innocent people would be drawn into their twisted games and would die in agony. Even right now they were probably devouring some poor soul and laughing about the state they left me in. I wanted to die, to rid myself of this guilt, of this pain. My father, poor Charlie, he only wanted me to be happy, to be normal. How can you tell your own father that you've stared into the heart of evil? At his insistence I finally left the house to attempt to go back to my old life. I found myself drawn to danger. I tell myself that I needed the adrenaline to feel something again but maybe I just didn't want to put my father through a suicide. Either way it was this that led me to my salvation and back to Jacob.

Jacob and I had always bonded over machines and in my adrenaline craving lows I bought a pair of dirt bikes and begged him to help me fix them. It took only a week but part of me wanted to drag it out. For this first time since I had learned of the Vampires I felt almost normal. Jacob had selflessly donated his time and had even bought the parts. All he knew was this his old friend needed help. Jacob, if you ever find this, I want you to know that had things been different I might have loved you. You were the friend I needed when I needed you most and for that you'll have my eternal gratitude. I can only hope you'll forgive me for what I must do soon.

Weeks pass as life improbably returns to normal. The wind in my hair and the adrenaline flowing through my veins remind me that I am alive and that I have friends and family that love me. As vile as the Vampires might be they made their biggest mistake in leaving me alive. All was not well though. I began to notice more and more of Jacob's strange behavior and at first I chalked it up to him being ill. He had been running a fever when he came to see me one day and for days afterward I couldn't reach him. I was told that he had come down with mono and though that seemed reasonable a part in the back of my mind told me not to let this go. I sought Jacob out in a field we had come to call our own and found a Vampire waiting for me. I knew him to be an acquaintance of the Cullens as I had seen him briefly during the episode with James. This one called himself Laurent and told me that he had been sent by Victoria to kill me. Before I had time to curse myself for believing it to be over, to believe that I would ever be safe with the Cullens out there I was rescued by, of all things, a pack of massive wolves. They were huge, at least as tall as a human and had to be hundreds of pounds of muscle. They weren't, however, mindless beasts. They didn't simply ignore me, they defended me and drove Laurent off. As they ran after the monster one even stopped to look me in the eye. It was just a moment but that was all it took for me to put two and two together: Jacob was this wolf.

Before all this started I would never have believed it even if he had told me the truth. I would have laughed in his face. I would have told him he was crazy. But in a world where Vampires use humans as pawns for their amusement why wouldn't there be Werewolves? It took me days to track Jacob down and to force him to admit the truth. He was resistant at first but when he saw that I trusted him, that he was my friend and that I wouldn't judge him for something that he couldn't control he almost cried. Jacob's pack was another story. They had kept their privacy for centuries and trusted very few outsiders. I knew that even with the history Jacob and I shared I would have to earn their trust, especially if I wanted their help dealing with the Vampire menace. It was a display of bravery that began to win them over.

There was a ritual they undertook when their wolf powers manifested. They would overcome their fear diving from a cliff into the sea. Their supernatural strength would protect them but their human instincts would tell them it was certain death and to hunt as a wolf they needed to drive that weakness from themselves. I had no supernatural strength but I would show them that I was every bit as brave as they were. It was dangerous and stupid and I had never felt more alive. I only barely survived. Afterward Jacob helped me swim to shore and I smiled weakly. I had proved to the pack that I was willing to undergo any trial. It would take time but I was on my way to being accepted by them. We almost kissed on that beach. Jacob, if you're reading this, I'm sorry. I wish I could love you but my heart only has room for vengeance.

I returned home to find a Cullen waiting for me. Edward's sister Alice came to check on me. She told me that in her psychic vision she had seen me throwing myself from a cliff. I thought at first they were coming to confirm my death, maybe to take my body, but then Alice told me that Jacob was distraught. So they wanted to try and play this game again? Good. My resolve had hardened and soon I would have a Werewolf army at my back. Things could never be so simple though. Edward was planning to expose himself to a crowd in the city of Volterra, Italy. She said this was to draw the attention of the Volturi, the vampire council. As much as I wanted to let him die I couldn't risk that this was simply a ploy. A vampire exposed to a crowd could quickly become a bloodbath and I wasn't about to allow that on my conscious. Naturally with the vampires testing my dedication it wouldn't be as simple a matter as a phone call. One benefit of being a clan of centuries old immortals was that they had plenty of money to throw at their amusements. Alice and I flew to Italy where I dramatically threw myself at Edward, once again playing the role of the lovestruck idiot.

I was mildly surprised to find out that the Volturi actually existed. They wanted to put me to death stating that it was against their law to let a human know of their existence without being changed. If they thought they could intimidate me they obviously didn't know who they were fucking with. Alice told the assembled council that I would be turned, that she had seen it in one of her psychic visions. I couldn't trust that any of this wasn't orchestrated but I have to admit, hearing her say that I would finally get the power I craved, even if it was just to lead me along, got my heart racing. The Volturi let us go and we left Italy to return to my home, Cullens in tow. They made a show of voting as to whether or not to turn me and, to my surprise, they agreed.

There were objections, mostly from Rosalie, one of Edward's sisters. She openly argued that I should remain human even when nearly the entire rest of the clan agreed that I should change. Maybe there was a shred of humanity within her still, fighting against the monster she had become, the monster Carlisle had coerced her into becoming. Rosalie had been beaten and raped by her husband and his friends only to be saved by Carlisle who had conveniently been nearby. I believe she may be willing to fight with me. I believe that she has already seen the evil that dwells within her saviors heart and is ready to join my cause. I'm sorry Rosalie, I know you think this vampire curse will destroy me, but it can be a gift with which I can rid the world of those that prey on the innocent.

Edward objected at first but agreed with one stipulation: he wanted me to marry him after graduation and then he would change me. I don't know if he thought that might scare me off or if that was part of the plan all along, but soon I would have the strength to kill them myself and possibly even allies. How could I do anything but agree?

#twilight #fanfic

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omega-al · 7 years

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The Cave

The cave was on the cliffs behind the the old Epidaurus house, past the woods that surrounded it. Lady Epidaurus had died over forty years ago, and since then the place had been abandoned, only occasionally inhabited by roaming bums, drug addicts, and satanic cults. Weird shit happened in that house even before she died, there were rumors about her family, sometimes the towns people would show up to have their fortunes read, other times they’d show up with fire and pitchforks. If there were anyone left alive that’d remember them, they’d say that family was cursed, marked by the devil, dark, wrong... We first heard about them when we were researching the Salem witch trials, and their name came up in relations to an obscure demonic cult from early colonial times, though after more research, we discovered the family was older than that, even before they came to America, this gypsy family had traces in eastern Europe, Bulgaria and Greece. The Epidaurus family had been creeping around in the dark corners of the earth for a thousand years.

The cave itself was a local legend, before American settlers came to this area it was used for ritual sacrifice. The local native tribe was the kinda scary that was into all sorts of dark shit. Cannibalism to child sacrifice. The cave was at the epicenter of their belief, they thought it was a gate, a kind of doorway between worlds. Being the kind of brutal warmongering tribe they were, they had no shortage of enemies to offer up, but eventually other tribes learned to stay far away from this fucked up society. You can imagine what happens to a people that inbreeds and sacrifices half its gene pool to dark gods, but you don’t have to, because I am going to tell you. If you believe the stories of the white settlers, they found a group of about sixty people who were barely recognizable as people, they looked like demons. They were animalistic, violent and carnal. They had cut parts of off, sew other parts of animals onto themselves, horns and fur, and in the case of the chief, the cocks of his enemies, animal and human a like. Their skin was ritualistically burned, cut and bloodied. They looked like monsters, or at least that’s what the white men said. They slaughtered all of them, wiped the tribe from the face of the earth. It was said that a curse was put on the land that day, and anyone who lived there after that. Maybe the curse is what drew this strange gypsy family to build on this land.

We found hundreds of years of weird happenings and tragedy, missing children and sorrow unending, and then all of a sudden with the death of the last living member of the family, it all went quiet. Nothing for decades. The ‘satanist’ cult visitors, no more than wannabe gothy teens and the advantageous mystics trying to fuck them. But I knew it was still there, I knew it was just hiding, waiting for the right people to carry out its will.

We had been to the house that morning and found nothing, just shitty graffiti, used needles and a bum named Jared who smelled of piss, and thought I had stolen his hat thirty years ago in a bar in Brooklyn. He was useless but he did tell me late at night sometimes when the wind blew the right direction, he could hear chanting. He said sometimes the chanting would start as a low growl, like that of a large cat reminding you who is the prey, then it would get louder and louder until you could hear voices in the depths, screaming… that’s about when he started hitting himself in the head with his fist and we had to subdue him. He was just a jibbering mass of tears and sweat after that, so we left him with a bottle of whiskey and bump of heroin to get him through this episode, which we clearly caused. I told him before we left, to go, to leave this place, but I don’t think he heard me. Poor sonofabitch.

We set out from the house on foot at one, I had a map of the local trails and was fairly certain I knew where we would find the cave. We should have told someone where we were going, come back the next day when the sun was just coming up with help and a guide, because before we knew it, we were hopelessly lost and it was getting dark. My partner wanted to head back a few hours into it and we did, well we tried, but the trail markers kept changing, nothing was as it should be on the map. We found landmarks where they shouldn’t be, we crossed our own footprints several times. I might be a city kid, but how can you get so fucking lost of sixty acres of land. I’ll admit I was spooked, and my partner was near hysterical. That’s when I heard it, low and deep on the wind. It was coming from the east, from what should be the cliffs. I could barely hear it at first over the sound of leaves rustling in the sudden strong gust, but once I did, it got louder, until it was all I could hear. That’s when I realized the wind was no longer blowing, and the trees were completely still, but the sound was growing, in my chest, not my ears. I felt like I was about to be devoured by the lion I can’t see, but know I’m being hunted by. At this pinnacle of horror familiarity strikes and I can hear voices, low human voices, old unknown languages calling something up from the darkness. I looked at my partner and saw they were white, frozen in horror at the same realization I myself was experiencing. We were close.

Trying to leave this place didn’t work and my curiosity was driving me forwards, no amount of pleading on their behalf did any good, I had to know. So we went east toward the cliffs and the cold dark unfeeling ocean.

Something about the ocean always fascinated me, it gobbles up life, and is the source of life, it had seen it all, it watches the land and sky change, and die, and regrow, like we watch the lives of insects, each individual life without meaning, only able to be understood as movements and trends, and really all those lives are meaningless in the grand scope of time, for which the ocean has much more of than us. The ocean is like my mother, a cold hard bitch that doesn’t care if you live or die, just don’t make a fucking mess of the joint. And these cliffs, they had run red with blood into that cold forgetting ocean for hundreds of years. If a land could be haunted, this place sure as hell looked like it. The stone was white, alabaster, jagged and worn by the ruthless sea and as the moon rose into the sky it cast strange and terrifying shadows across the gnarled rocks and crags. The trail led us right to it. The dirt path becoming a dark red rust stained into the rocks. Blood. This was must be the way the sacrifices were marched, being flagellated and whipped by the rest of the tribe on their way to their fate. The chanting was louder here and came from a peak on the cliffs now outlined by the silver light of the moon. Maybe it was a trick of the light, the sheer contrast of light on the surface of dark, but it looked black, like really black, you couldn’t even see the mouth of the cave, it looked like a blurry smear of shadows undefined in reality, there, but not there.

As we stepped from the trail onto the cliffs I could almost see them, brutal busted forms of humans merged with animals, goat gods and feral ghouls, pain and blood, and lust, worn as armor. The atrocities that happened here are remembered by the earth, by the very stones beneath our feet.

As I walk towards the peak, my partner held onto my arm, I dragged them with me, they sob quietly as I imagine the weak would have when facing their fate, but they do not stop. Maybe fear had overwhelmed them, but my mind was racing, filling with images of the things that could have happened here. I didn’t know if I was going crazy or if something wanted me to see. The closer I got the louder the chanting, drums in the deep dark ahead of me urging me forward, the history of this place flooding my mind. White men, invaders, waging a war against the devil in their eyes, they killed them all, they raped their women, and sold their children into slavery, they were monsters. And when they owned the land, the brutality did not cease, this place made people wrong. It fucked them up, gave them strange ideas, maybe showed them what it was now, showing me.

I was about twenty feet away from the opening of the cave when the moon finally crested the peak and filled the area with white light, the ground was red, slick with blood. Our feet were wet with it. My partner saw this and started gagging and trying to climb me at the same time. The blood was flowing from the mouth of the cave and there in the deepest darkness, was a red glow, a small point of light that only grew in size the more you focused on it. I was fixated, I could not look away and my feet kept moving towards it. My partner was freaking now, screaming, begging me to stop. I could hear them threaten to leave me here if we did not turn back, but I did not speak, I had to keep going I had to know what was in the cave. I was ten feet away when he chanting stopped and I heard what sounded like the crunch of bones underfoot. Looking down, the ground was littered with them, animals mostly, but I could see crushed human skulls and the bones of what could only be children amongst the more familiar deer and coyote. I looked to my left and there at a stone altar, was the chieftain, his arms held aloft a giant maul, a naked body knelt beneath him, bound and gagged. He wore a cloak made of human flesh, and just like the legend, there were fucking cocks and balls all over the thing, like some visceral decorative fringe of manhood. His head had ram's horns grafted to the sides of his skull, his eyes were hollow blackened sockets. I was staring agape at him when he turned and looked me straight in the eye. He could see me. I was there, with him. He lowered the maul and gestured for me to join him, I turned to look for my partner, but suddenly I was wearing the cloak of dicks, my hands held the maul and I was bringing it down upon the skull of this kneeling human. I could feel the buckling of the skull easily giving way, I could feel the squish of their head meats escaping through their ears when I brought the heavy weapon down on their head, I could hear the silence of their sudden lack of breath. I dropped he maul and closed my eyes, holding them closed and telling myself, it’s not real, but even with my eyes closed I could smell the metallic scent of blood all around me. When I opened my eyes, the river of blood and the chief were gone, the bones remained but looked a lot less human, and there beneath me was my partner, brains smashed out by the rock I was still holding in my hands. It was so quiet. So completely still. What had I done… Then from the dark behind me, a low growl of something old, and evil, and pleased as punch with itself. I looked back and the body was gone, my partner nowhere to be seen, I still held the rock, but it no longer covered in blood.

I turned to face the mouth of the cave and dropping the rock, walked into the darkness as the growl became a deep laughter. I still want to know, the devil shoulda known better than to fuck with me. And now I know where he lives.

#evil #demons #cults #cannibals #blood #sacrifice #don't fuck with the devil #for your entertainment #theater of death

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gotmilk5101520 · 4 years

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Miraculous Ladybug Rewatch Episode 67 Feast

Let the feast begin!

“Super Adrien…” “Isn’t Adrien Chat Noir?” “Shh. She doesn’t know that”

“Here, a black knight”

“Or Black Cat Miraculous holder”

“Here, a lady”

“Or a Butterfly superhero”

“Now this, Hercules”

“Or Lion Miraculous holder” Alya is smart. And she still can’t figure out Marinette is Ladybug.

“Why not a Bunny Miraculous while you're at it? Oh wait”

Man i wish i could see little details like this.

“According to my old man, the statue is almost two hundred years old!” “From what I found there hasn't been any Miraculous-wearing superheroes for the last two hundred years!” But in Backwarder Marianne knew of the Miraculous and how they work. So that would mean the remaining Miraculous, that Master Fu had, were used in secret.

“Alya is an excellent journalist. Sooner or later, she would have unveiled this secret kept under wraps for centuries” Can’t wait till it’s 100 years in the future and someone puts together the pieces that Marinette and Adrien were Ladybug and Chat Noir.

“Remember when I told you I made a terrible mistake? For you to understand, I must tell you the entire story”

“I was younger than you when I was chosen to be a guardian”

“My parents told me that it was a great honor. That I couldn't turn it down. So they took me to the temple” Okay, 2 things. First what does someone have to do to get picked to become a guardian? Do you have to sense something about them? And second Fu’s parents said this is a great honor that couldn’t be turn down. So people knew the Guardians existed back then? Was there like a village around the temple and the Guardians would go down there looking for successors?

“I wasn't very happy there. I would have preferred to live with my parents and be with other children my age. I didn't want to be a guardian of anything”

“One of the test to become a guardian required me to watch over a Miracle Box. For a full twenty-four hours without any food“ Noticed he said a Miracle Box.

“All I had for support was my apprentice's staff. Soon I was hungry. With each passing hour I became hungrier”

“And it was all because of the Miraculous. Because I had to watch over them. I couldn't take it any longer”

“So I took the Peacock Miraculous and used its power”

“All I wanted was a nice little companion I could sent to the kitchen to fetch me some rice balls. But the Miraculous must never be used for the wrong reasons” All in all this series keeps reminding us the Miraculous can’t be use for selfish reasons or something bad happens.

“The anger I was feeling mingled with my intense hunger. And I created a sentimonster that was very different from the one I had envisioned”

“A ravenous sentimonster out to devour everything, but specifically the Miraculous, since they were the bane of my life at that very moment”

“In my panic I lost my staff. The very object that would have enabled me to control it. I was just a young boy. I was so afraid I didn't even think of destroying it by simply using the Peacock Miraculous”

“I tried to erase all traces of the foolish thing that I had done. A monk told me to run away with the grimoire he managed to save, and the Miraculous Box. The very last Miraculous Box”

“That's when I realized my sentimonster had devoured all the other Miraculous Boxes that were kept in the temple” Wait i wonder if the people in the village i mentioned before noticed and went to check.

“And when the monks tried to stop it—the temple, the Order of the Guardians, everything… it was destroyed” Hold up he said the monks tried to to stop Feast. Did they use some of the Miraculous? Or were they skilled fighters without them?

“I tried to run away from the sentimonster”

“But by doing so, I lost the grimoire and both the Butterfly and the Peacock Miraculous”

“I thought the sentimonster had disappeared forever” Wait so the lava didn’t burn the sentimonster or the Butterfly and Peacock Miraculous?

“Nathalie sometimes gets dizzy spells. But it's nothing serious”

“Why the long face?”

“My mom used to have dizzy spells… just like Nathalie. My father said those weren't serious either” *Cries in French*

“I will help you. It comes from the region where we found our Miraculous” “Oh the place where your wife used the Peacock Miraculous, and that’s how we got ourselves in this mess”

How about a duet?

*Cries in French again*

Mayura has made it into Area 51

“Oh, but don't you worry, I'll give them back to you as soon as I'm done with them. I'll even give you the Peacock and mine as a bonus” Why would Gabriel want to get rid of the Miraculous after it’s over? Then all the Miraculous would be gone and no one would use them.

“Really? You just made it bigger?”

“What sort of fucking magic is this?”

Marinette has trained to face her biggest enemy. The Fence.

“Chat Noir? Is that you? Why a Banana? Where did you get it?”

“Well it was just laying around”

“Master, look! Ladybug and Chat Noir, despite their ridiculous costumes, okay where did they get those ridiculous costumes?”

“Hey, have a taste of this! Some exploding banana split from Bananoir!”

“Much tastier than any Miraculous!” Are you sure about that?”

Best side of the love square. Bikerbug x Bananoir.

“Hey! Leave them alone! I'm the one you have been wanting the past one hundred and seventy-two years!”

“The guardian of the Miraculous is this decrepit old man? Wait have i seen him somewhere before?”

“He’s that old man!”

“I am not scared of you anymore!”

“Okay, maybe i still am”

“There are only two places where your staff could be. Where the temple was, or…” If it was still at the temple then they would’ve been fucked.

“Hurry, my lady, this thing already swallowed my stick whole!” Yeah “Stick”

“Uh, you sure it's the right time, my lady?” The right time for what?

“Oh no, not the tongue…”

Yeah right.

“Man, look at all these things it ate. Wait are those humans?” “Pretty sure they’ll die once we defeat the sentimonster” “What if they don’t?” “Then we can show them memes”

“Don't be bemused, it's just the news! Extraordinary and inexplicable!”

“That pretty much sums up the surprising reappearance of this temple in the Tibetan mountains—”

“ —a hundred and seventy-two years after it was destroyed”

“Let's go to Clara Contard on location” Umm why were they watching? It makes sense to see Gabriel, Nathalie, and Alya. But Tomoe and Audrey? Why were they watching it? Are they planning to form some evil bad parents team?

“That's correct, Nadja. But what makes this phenomenon particularly unexplainable is that all the monks who used to live in the temple have also reappeared year 1844!” So who’s gonna show them memes?

“The monks have been freed and the temple has been restored. It’s going to be awkward for them seeing technology”

“I shall go and see them someday soon, and explain everything to them. And show them some fun cat memes”

“And the time has come for me to prepare you to become the new guardian”

“The guardian? But Master, you're the guardian! You have been for a hundred and seventy-two years! Let’s talk about this another time” “Marinette, it’s been 11 episodes since i told you. Stop delaying this”

“I was joking. Those strict traditions did no good when I was your age I mean it’s not like you’ll end up burning Paris to the ground” “Yeah... Hahahaha...”

“Now that Hawkmoth knows who I am it's too dangerous for me to live here” “Is the mustache really necessary”

“I'm not going anywhere until Hawkmoth is defeated. I'll never leave you” *Cries in Miracle Queen*

Now that was a feast to remember.

I want to play video games. No I must finish this!

#miraculous ladybug #milk rewatches miraculous ladybug

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fathersonholygore · 7 years

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Starz’ American Gods Season 1, Episode 2: “The Secret of Spoon” Directed by David Slade Written by Michael Green & Bryan Fuller

* For a recap & review of the premiere, “The Bone Orchard” – click here * For a recap & review of the next episode, “Head Full of Snow” – click here We start on 1697 – Coming to America – when slaves were being transported by ship. One of them calls to Anansi who is a character from African folklore, usually in the form of a spider. The slave regrets he cannot do anything to honour him in those chains. But that if the god is merciful, he will repay him for the rest of his life. Then they’re shocked by a man in a fine suit, something they’ve never seen: Mr. Nancy (Orlando Jones). He tells them of a story where “once upon a time a man got fucked,” which is, essentially, the story of African Americans. He tells them of what awaits at the end of their journey. He gives them a quick lesson in how fucked they all are, and how bad American will be for their people. So either kill the Dutch motherfuckers, or go to the land of opportunity where they’ll be fucked for hundreds of years. He sets one man free then they’re all raging for justice. The ship starts going up in flames and everyone burns while Anansi crawls ashore. Mr. Nancy: “Angry is good. Angry gets shit done.” Who saved Shadow Moon (Ricky Whittle), at the mercy of Technical Boy (Bruce Langley) and his Children? He’s in a hospital getting stitched and taken care of, then goes straight for Mr. Wednesday (Ian McShane). They chat about what’s happened, and Wednesday knows all about the toad smoking kid. Meanwhile, Shadow isn’t pleased, seeing as how he was “strange fucking fruit” for a brief moment in time. However he doesn’t realise that Wednesday is already plotting. That night Shadow dreams of his wife Laura (Emily Browning) coming through the door. She says she isn’t dead. Yeah, that’s comforting. Of course it’s a dream, but the guy’s already been through the ringer. Nightmare land in his head won’t help a thing. The next day he goes back to the house he shared with his wife, before he went away to jail. Everything’s laid out for a Welcome Home party, only it’s now depressing and sombre. Everywhere are the memories of Laura, in each room. So he packs everything away in boxes. Finally, after staring at it all day, he opens the box from the coroner’s office. Inside is her wedding ring, her phone. He looks through her phone to find a dick pic from Robbie, confirming the worst. That’s some ugly shit. What’s next after Shadow leaves Eagle Point? He and Wednesday go on the road with CCR blaring from the speakers. Only deal: no highways. They need to go to Chicago so Wednesday can pick up his hammer. We’re treated to an excellent visual here that I won’t spoil by even trying to describe it, other than it makes the sky look WILD! The two make a pit stop. Shadow goes to pick up things on a list he’s given, everything from maps to vodka and all kinds of stuff. Suddenly, Media (Gillian Anderson) speaks to Shadow from a television screen. More of those great visuals, too. Media comes through on I Love Lucy as Mrs. Ricardo herself. She talks a good game, offering to employ him. Another one of the New Gods. Oh, this strange new world! Media: “Don‘t fight gravity, Shadow.” Shadow believes it’s all in his head. He tells Wednesday about his run in with Lucy, thinking his time in jail ripened his brain to mush. His older gentleman friend explains that mad isn’t the biggest sacrifice that might need to be made. Later he goes on a nice spiel about messages, tossing the cellphones out the window and lamenting those days of opening letters; such great delivery from the master, Mr. McShane. A journey through the universe takes us to Bilquis (Yetide Badaki), who we last saw take a man home and devour him.. sort of, yeah. She’s got a new guy. Then a new woman. And the endlessly sexual cycle perpetuates, on and on. Note: perfect cut is edited when we see the frame jump from Bilquis naked in bed to a statue of stone standing tall, breasts in hand; clever work. She is most certainly one of the Old Gods, of whom I can’t wait to see more. Wednesday goes to see several people, including Zorya Vechernyaya (Cloris Leachman), an old Russian woman. That’s why they picked up that vodka, particularly. She loves it. Then there’s the other sisters, Zorya Ultrennyaya (Martha Kelly) and Zorya Polunochnyaya (Erika Kaar). Vechernyaya tells fortunes, offering to show Shadow his own. There’s also Czernobog (Peter Stormare), covered in cow blood and not happy to see Wednesday. Zorya Vechernyaya: “Family is who you survive with when you need to survive”

Constantly smoking, Czernobog refuses to go along with Wednesday. He doesn’t want to do any of what they used to do anymore. Whatever that was; he also has a brother (for those who don’t know he’s a Slavic deity, the Black God, considered as a counterpart to Belobog, the White God). What we’re treated to is seeing how this Old God, he’s a dangerous one, has a sketchy reputation. He doesn’t like killing the new way, either. He likes the old fashion way. Czernobog: “To give a good death is art” After dinner Shadow sits to play checkers with Czernobog. Then we discover his hammer. A massive sledgehammer he keeps on the mantle. He is a bad motherfucker, that’s for sure. He’s sad his tool doesn’t get fed the blood it needs anymore; Shadow has visions of it soaked in gore. Oh, this place is creepy. Now, if Czernobog loses chess he’ll agree to go with Wednesday. If he wins, Shadow takes the hammer to feed it some of that good “sunrise blood” in the morning. And the game is on. They play down to the last pieces on the board and poor Shadow’s not doing so well. He loses at the bitter end. So what’s going to happen next time? Czernobog is owed blood he’s promised. Next episode is titled “ American Gods – Season 1, Episode 2: “The Secret of Spoon” Starz' American Gods Season 1, Episode 2: "The Secret of Spoon" Directed by David Slade…

#Black God #Cloris Leachman #Czernobog #Gillian Anderson #Ian McShane #New Gods #Orlando Jones #Peter Stormare #Ricky Whittle #Slave #The Secret of Spoon #Vechernyaya

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callmehawkeye · 7 years

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Watched in 2017

Kids For Cash (2013): It’s easy to sit here as someone without a personal stake in this documentary’s focus, but, what I took away from it is the Luzerne County scandal contained nothing but very human individuals working out their own perspectives and self interests within justice and school systems set up to fail; or those holding office who don’t have proper insight. People fighting shades of grey with black and white theories. Children’s lives were disrupted during peak development years and even though their records were expunged, you can see the damage being impossible to reverse.

Capturing the Friedmans (2003): An introspection of a family in crisis; I believe in the 14 years since this documentary released there’s enough information available for armchair detectives to see through any biases this film presents and displays the depth trauma and denial can go.

The Jinx (2015): A miniseries focused on the life and crimes of Robert Durst where the man himself is interviewed and occasionally forgets he is wearing a hot mic.

Hannibal Buress: Comedy Camisado (2016): A great standup special that made me smile and cackle. Can’t wait to see more of Buress.

Other People (2016): Sure, it’s another cancer movie, but the family relationships and performances make this such a lovely film to watch.

Fences (2016): Play-turned-film about a family in the 1950s and the metaphorical fences they put up to keep each other safe but also to stop from connecting. Lots of great monologues put in by the cast.

Westworld (Season 1): Called all the big twists, but it’s still a great show with wonderful storytelling, scenery, and acting.

The Straight Story (1999): Best film I’ve seen by David Lynch. Poignant and moving.

Suicide Squad (2016): UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I’m not much of an original storyline purist, but if there’s a strong story handed to you ready-made on a silver platter -- why make it weaker? Why not attempt to understand the context at all?

American Honey (2016): Gorgeously shot, but I really found the story content to be a bit cliché and done before but better.

Vampire’s Kiss (1989): I don’t know so much about the comedic part of this labeled black comedy when it really comes off as a quite disturbing account of a lonely, mental ill man’s downward spiral. But fun, bizarre, and unique nonetheless.

Pete’s Dragon (2016): Not the best kid and their dragon story. Not the worst. Not the best Disney remake. Not the worst. Eff gritty reboots. I want the kid to stay with their dragon.

Killer Legends (2014): Documentary uncovering the true stories behind urban legends; the man with a hook for a hand, the babysitter with a call coming from inside the house, poisoned Halloween candy, and a killer birthday party clown.

The Lego Batman Movie (2017): While I liked The Lego Movie, I was more about Batman and how he was voiced by Will Arnett. This movie is a cesspool for in-jokes and references and I was crying nearly the entire time with laughter.

Bridget Jones’s Baby (2016): Oh my god. Oh my god, why.

Tokyo Godfathers (2003): A moving story about three homeless individuals who discover an abandoned baby in the snow around Christmastime. Their search for the mother displays beautiful animation and storytelling.

John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017): I’m so happy the sleeper buzz of the first one got to me a few years ago. I’m so beyond thrilled with the product of this sequel that doesn’t lose its self-awareness and bite.

Train to Busan (2016): Best zombie movie I’ve seen in years and years.

Newsies Musical (2017): A lot of missteps and overacting; but still the lovely show I know and adore with flawless dancing.

Hidden Figures (2016): A film showcasing the overshadowed and overworked women of color NASA employees. Superb acting all the way.

Night of the Demons (1988): 100% ‘80s horrible, but I kind of loved it?

Michael Bolton's Big Sexy Valentine's Day Special (2017): I want to write individually, uniquely written thank-you cards to everyone who made this possible.

Get Out (2017): Gorgeously shot, acted, and written; full of detail, homages, symbolism, and foreshadowing. I’m obsessed. I’m so proud of Jordan Peele and cannot wait to see what he does next.

La La Land (2016): More like Blah Blah Land.

Moonlight (2016): A gorgeously shot character study of a young man’s dichotomy of black masculinity and homosexuality.

The Belko Experiment (2017): A clever and funny horrorfest of a desk jockey company locking its employees in and pitting them against one another for a battle to the death.

Logan (2017): THIS is the Wolverine we’ve wanted. My creyes. Thanks or all the years of dedication, Jackman.

A Monster Calls (2016): For such an imaginative story as a boy’s imagination assisting his grief, it’s rather dull and removed.

The Imposter (2012): A documentary of a French national faking the identity of a missing, and much younger, American boy.

Best in Show (2000): This is literally my life now.

Tangled: Before Ever After (2017): Such a cute continuation I’ve always wanted from one of my favorite Disney films. Sweet songs, characterizations, and animation.

Ordinary World (2016): Billie Joe Armstrong in his first starring role as a man hitting a midlife crisis. It’s been done. But there’s something particularly charming about its cast and execution.

Beauty and the Beast (2017): ...Eh. It’s pretty? Some of the additions are cute and thoughtful. But it feels like a shot for shot remake.

Christine (2016): A dramatization of the real life story of Christine Chubbuck, a news correspondent who committed suicide while live on-air.

Arrival (2016): Amy Adams was robbed from a nomination. In my opinion, this is her best work ever.

Beware the Slenderman (2016): HBO documentary covering the true crime of the Slenderman-inspired stabbing and the young girls who conspired together to commit it.

The Fits (2015): A young girl in Cincinnati observes others around her spiraling into epileptic-like episodes as she joins a dance team and undergoes many pre-teen milestones.

The Queen of Katwe (2016): The true story of the chess world’s Woman Candidate Master Phiona Mutesi.

The Love Witch (2016): I love literally everything about this ridiculous movie? With its purposeful presentation acting and romantic aesthetic?

Jackie (2016): Natalie Portman was spellbinding.

An American Wereolf in London (1981): Took me forever to watch, but reignited my love for werewolves.

Loving (2016): True story of interracial couple Mildred and Richard Loving who got married in the late 1950s.

The Edge of Seventeen (2016): I’ve lived this genre. I grew up with this genre. I devoured hundreds of films, television series, and novels about this genre. If it were the first I ever saw, maybe I’d have liked it better. It’s fine. Just not for me.

The Founder (2016): What a wonderfully expensive and affective commercial for McDonald’s. Now put Michael Keaton in more movies!!

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016): I’m excited for the extensive look in Rowling’s universe. While hard to not compare to Harry Potter and lacking the groundwork of connection to a book series I grew up with since 11 years old, it certainly grew on me.

The Boxtrolls (2014): Late to the game on this one, but another fine film from the Laika company. I’m becoming a huge fan of theirs.

The Lost City of Z (2017): A refreshing movie to watch that’s driven by characters more than plot and with minimal CGI. Gorgeous acting. Gripping motivations and convictions. Beautiful scenery and set designs. Reminiscent of an old Hollywood epic.

Tickled (2016): Frustrating documentary about the online “competitive tickling” community and the shadiness of key players.

Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders (2016): I’d probably have enjoyed this more if I hadn’t watched the Lego Batman Movie first, but I got thorough amusement from the in-jokes and returning cast of talent.

Cat People (1942): Oh look, it’s the most I can hope for in my near future.

Mommy Dead and Dearest (2017): HBO documentary about Dee Dee and Gypsy Rose Blancharde.

Drag Becomes Him (2015): I fucking love Jinx Monsoon.

A Star is Born (1954): Judy at her best.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (Season 3): I wish this season was more focused, but it gave me some moments I’ll never forget.

Wonder Woman (2017): I already plan to go see this again and make it my theme for my 30th birthday this year. I love it that much.

The Girl on the Train (2016): Zzzzzzzzzzz

House of Cards (Season 5): You can always tell when a showrunner leaves. Robin Wright saved this show for me.

Bo Burnham: Make Happy (2016): I don’t know many comedians who can make me instantly switch from laughing to crying.

Papillon (1973): There’s something captivating about this film that you don’t see every day. True storytelling epic.

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? (1976): Sidney Poitier is charming, and the behind the scenes turmoil for Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy had me sobbing.

Who Took Johnny (2014): The true crime story of the abduction/disappearance of Johnny Gosch.

Master of None (Season 2): There was something so maddening about Dev this season. Well, not “something.” He fucked up a lot and was quite unlikable. The directing and international film homages were second best to Denise’s single background episode.

The Beguiled (2017): Quite beautiful, great acting. Typical Sofia Coppola and entertaining enough. Not necessary for me to view again.

Baby Driver (2017): This is a standout film for me this year. It made me incredibly happy and so proud of Edgar Wright.

Orange is the New Black (Season 5): Justice for Poussey.

Excalibur (1981): I hear this is both the best and definitive version of the King Arthur myth. But everything else is really bad, and this is acceptable. It has some strong elements and covered the largest span of the myth’s time.

The Old Man and the Sea (1958): The most simply shot and presented film I’ve ever seen. Spencer Tracy is an absolute dear.

HitREcord on TV (Season 1): Such a satisfying and inspiring series to watch.

Atomic Blonde (2017): A lot more spy noir than I expected, but the action I went in anticipating was thrilling and impressive in its choreography. Loved the aesthetic and loved the soundtrack even more.

HitREcord on TV (Season 2): It’s really motivating to watch people go through the creation process in this.

Adam’s Rib (1949): Such a silly story, but Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy’s dynamic is ev. er. y. thing!

BUtterfield 8 (1960): The behind the scenes story is much more compelling and interesting.

What a Way to Go! (1964): This is honestly the most perfect movie I’ve seen in years. There is nothing about it I didn’t love nor recommend.

Detroit (2017): Not exactly the best thing to watch after Charlottesville, but it is a story that needs to be heard and not forgotten. Nothing has changed.

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017): The runtime felt too long. But it’s still the best portrayal of Peter Parker so far. Such a refreshing Marvel movie to watch in the midst of my over-saturation outlook on their films. A smaller spec story was very-much needed.

T2 Trainspotting (2017): Most sequels made 20 years later aren’t anything to write home about. But man. This exceeded expectations.

Hurricane Bianca (2016): Just the kind of movie I want from a drag queen. Just the right amount of camp, message, humor, and fabulousness.

Wet Hot American Summer: Ten Years Later (2017): I don’t think there’s anything that makes me consistently laugh this hard.

Ma Vie de Courgette (2017): Stop-animation about the connection and imagination of orphaned children in a healthy home environment.

Brigsby Bear (2017): The most unexpectedly unique and heartfelt movie I’ve seen all year.

Smokey and the Bandit (1977): Oh, so that’s why people like this movie so much.

Shameless (Season 5): More Ian, please.

Cat Women of the Moon (1953): Masterpiece. Aesthetic. My future.

Last Action Hero (1993): I feel like I unwittingly wrote this exact story as a teenager. Loved it.

The Bodyguard (1992): I will always love Whitney.

Table 19 (2017): Legitimately charming.

Kingsmen: The Golden Circle (2017): Not as good as the first, but plenty of strong ideas that I enjoyed with a lovable cast.

mother! (2017): Fucking horrifying and sent me into an anxiety attack that lasted longer than a day -- ethereal and quite the theater-going experience.

Sunshine on Leith (2014): Proclaimers musical. Pretty by the numbers, but very eagerly genuine and sweet.

The Powder and the Glory (2007): PBS documentary about Elizabeth Arden and Helena Rubinstein. -- I’m Team Rubinstein, by the way.

It (2017): A great retelling of the original story with a strong and likable cast. I’m excited to see who they cast as the older counterparts in Part 2.

The Zookeeper’s Wife (2017): An interesting perspective of who is left behind during wartime.

Sgt. Pepper’s Musical Revolution (2017): PBS documentary on my boys.

Fist Fight (2017): 90 minutes of line-o-rama comedy. But I love the lead actors.

Gilda (1946): My, my, my Hayworth. Finish him.

I Am Heath Ledger (2017): A retrospective of Ledger with interviews by those legitimately closest to him. Very touching and insightful.

Blade Runner 2049 (2017): The most visually stunning film I’ve seen in a long, long time.

Personal Shopper (2017): Kristen Stewart stars as a woman living in France, waiting for a sign of life from her deceased twin brother.

Gifted (2017): I’m here for Evans and Evans alone.

XX (2017): Four horror shorts directed by women, each uniquely shot and told.

The Promise (2016): The movie was sold short by a misdirection in advertising; it’s more -- and interestingly so -- about the Armenian genocide than just another wartime love triangle. Come on, guys. Polyamory. Polyamory is always the answer.

The Circle (2017): Unwatchable. The film itself doesn’t even know what it’s trying to say.

The Public Enemy (1931): Mostly watched this because of the closing of The Great Movie Ride, above all else.

Leverage (Season 1): Race to finish all 5 seasons before it’s taken off of Netflix. I love this team.

Leverage (Season 2): I have so many feelings about these characters and their relationships with each other.

Professor Marston and the Wonder Women (2017): Polyamory. I told you. The answer is always polyamory. And bondage.

Stranger Things (Season 2): I’m so happy this is finally here, and so mad I’m already finished.

Leverage (Season 3): I love the slow development and bonding the team has gone through.

Leverage (Season 4): The more ridiculous and implausible the mission, the more I love the episode.

Thor: Ragnarok (2017): I don’t care that it was “too funny.” It was exactly what I wanted out of a Marvel movie.

Leverage (Season 5): Well. It’s official. I’ve been Stockholm-syndromed by a show.

The Foreigner (2017): It was fine. It was another misleading trailer, so not what I was expecting. But it was fine.

The Thing (1982): Mmm mmm mmm ‘80s Kurt Russell in a solid John Carpenter thriller/horror.

To Have and Have Not (1944): Bogart and Bacall is goals.

Alien: Covenant (2017): Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017): This is actually a solid sequel I greatly enjoyed. It’s been a few years since I’ve enjoyed a Marvel movie, and now I have two!

The Librarians (Season 1): Okay, this is a good Leverage replacement.

The Librarians (Season 2): This show is super endearing and I’m pleased it exists.

Aileen Wuornos: The Selling of a Serial Killer (1992): Going to the My Favorite Murder live show encouraged me to finally watch this.

Aileen: Life and Death of a Serial Killer (2003): An update and deeper delve into Wuornos. Super upsetting to watch her mental deterioration unfold onscreen.

The Librarians (Season 3): All caught-up for season 4 in December!!

Sleight (2016): I had a difficult time watching this movie. There was something about the sound-mixing that triggered some anxiety and auditory stress. But I liked what I could see of it.

Cujo (1983): Probably my second-favorite King movie now. Very simple, yet effective.

Lady Bird (2017): I’m happy to have seen this before the hype got too big. It was so relatable and enjoyable.

Christine (1983): Quite entertaining, great music, top camp.

Hey Arnold!: The Jungle Movie (2017): Mostly made up of callbacks, but I DO NOT CARE. Such a satisfying nostalgia bookend.

Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing, Missouri (2017): Fantastic dialogue and performances. I feel so many side stories and characters were meant to build up the main storyline and give context, but I feel it left a lot of characters wanting and left used.

Novitiate (2017): I had no idea the Catholic church did the sisters so dirty with Vatican II. Very tense film and makes you quite sympathetic for the women in it.

Bright Lights: Starring Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds (2016): Spectacular HBO documentary of my goddess and the mother goddess. I cried a lot.

Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry (2012): Documentary follows Chinese artist and figure, Ai Weiwei, as he uses social media and activism in his art and to hold the government accountable.

Shameless (Season 6): Needs more Ian. Tired of everyone else’s bullshit. Will I last much longer?

Calamity Jane (1953): Casting Doris Day as the butch Calamity Jane is the most hilarious and gay thing I’ve ever seen and I love it.

Murder on the Orient Express (2017): It’s beautiful, but such a terrible adaptation that guts any tension, stakes, and even mystery as well as gives little for the talented cast to cut their teeth on.

Sky Ladder: The Art of Cai Guo-Qiang (2016): The attempts and execution of a 1,650 foot ladder made of fireworks.

Monster (2003): Ohhhh, THAT’S why Charlize won the Oscar...

The Big Sick (2017): So charming and such a legit romantic comedy.

The Disaster Artist (2017): I watched this in the same way I watched the room: Through my fingers, curled up on my side, and whispering, “Stop. Stop. Stop.” I loved it.

Coco (2017): Well, Pixar fucked me up once again.

My Friend Rockefeller (2015): Documentary about con artist and murderer Christian Gerhartsreiter.

A Series of Unfortunate Events (Season 1): De. Light. Ful.

Shameless (Season 7): Finally caught up!

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017): Yes. I see the faults. I understand. I just don’t care. I absolutely loved it.

The Greatest Showman (2017): Probably my biggest disappointment of the year. The cast and musical numbers were great, but everything in-between was so weak and uninteresting. For a non-diagetic musical, they never earned their musical moments. I’d rather have watched a non-Barnum circus movie all about ZEfron and Zendaya for 2 hours with Jackman in the Master of Ceremonies role. It felt like every non-musical scene was trying to sprint through to get to the next song.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017): I didn’t expect to adore this as much as I did? Jack Black was the standout and was so endearing and respectful towards teenage girls!

The Little Hours (2017): My forever mood/aesthetic in film form.

Gook (2017): Black and white film about the ‘92 L.A. riots from the perspective of two Korean-American brothers.

Carnage (2017): Mockumentary made by Simon Amstell told from the future where veganism is the norm.

Good Time (2017): An epic told over the span of 24 hours of a bank robbery gone wrong.

Dave Chappelle: Equanimity & The Bird Revelation (2017): Chappelle’s latest Netflix specials, back to back. I don’t agree with a lot of what he said and didn’t always laugh. But when he reached me, he did it right.

Battle of the Sexes (2017): That haircut scene helps fuel my Emma Stone fantasies.

I, Tonya (2017): While I do believe Harding never takes responsibility for herself when she should, I still can’t begrudge her place in media history.

The Shape of Water (2017): This movie was fucking everything to me.

2016 | 2015 | 2014

#personal #watch list #tv shows #movies #what i watched

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