I wanna say that I love the melancholic romance between Vasco & machete, in their 16th century canon and all the AU’s. As an asexual person (& self-aware hopeless romantic) I really enjoy the intimacy between the boys & how the focus is more on the emotions; not the physical (from what I have seen). I’ve had self-image issues regarding relationships, & not feeling “good enough” for anyone, but seeing these themes makes me feel a little more human because I feel like I’m not alone. So Thank you!

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So can we get an all women’s season of physical 100 XD I’m pretty sick of the constant “well they’re not physically strong so our team is going to suck” it’s pretty fucking annoying when it happens to literally every single woman contestant :/

Okay. Give Sabine a lightsaber? Nice. I can dig it. Mandalorians have a long history of using (one particular) lightsaber to great effect regardless of Force sensitivity. Plus lightsabers are cool and I support characters being as cool as possible.

Give Sabine the FORCE suddenly in a moment of great need? When she's NEVER before even once exhibited Force sensitivity despite training with the Darksaber with Kanan and Ezra, in which situation NO ONE ever so much as suggested "hey Sabine, you might be Force sensitive"? Over 4 entire seasons of TV? When she's NEVER before even once exhibited Force sensitivity despite apparently training with Ahsoka for some time? No. That's coolness over continuity, and it's sloppy.

another poll because a) i love polls b) still curious

to me, the question of whether hera would want a body is first and foremost a question of autonomy and ability. she has an internal self-image, i think it's meaningful that the most pivotal moments in her character arc take place in spaces where she can be perceived the way she perceives herself and interact with others in a (relatively) equal and physical capacity, and that's worth considering. but i don't think it's about how she looks, or even who she is - and i think she's the same person either way; she's equally human without a body, and having a body wouldn't make her lived experience as an AI magically disappear - so much as it's about how she would want to live.

like most things with hera, i'm looking at this through a dual lens of disability and transness, both perspectives from which the body - and particularly disconnect from the body - is a concern. the body as the mechanism by which she's able to interact with the world; understanding her physical isolation as a product of her disability, the body as a disability aid. the body as it relates to disability, in constant negotiation. the body as an expression of medical transition, of self-determination, of choice. as a statement of how she wants to be seen, how she wants to navigate the world, and at the same time reckoning with the inevitable gap between an idealized self-image and a lived reality, especially after a long time spent believing that self-image could never be visible to anyone else.

it's critical to me that it should never imply hera's disability is 'fixed' by having a body, only that it enables her to interact with the world in ways she otherwise couldn't. her fears about returning to earth are about safety and ability; the form she exists in dictates the life she's allowed to lead and has allowed people to invade her privacy and make choices for her. dysphoria and disability both contribute to disembodiment - in an increasingly digitized world, the type of alienation that feels like your life can only exist in a virtual space... maybe there's something about the concept of AI embodiment, in particular as it relates to hera, that appeals to me because of what it challenges about what makes a 'real woman.' when it's about perception, about how others see her and how she might observe / be impacted by how she's treated differently, even subconsciously. it's about feeling more present in her life and interfacing with the world. but it's not in itself a becoming; it doesn't change how she's been shaped by her history or who she is as a person.

i think it comes back to the 'big picture' as a central antagonistic force in wolf 359, and how - in that context, in this story - it adds a weight to this hypothetical choice. hera is everywhere, and she's never really anywhere. she's got access to more knowledge than most people could imagine, but it's all theoretical or highly situational; she doesn't have the same life experiences as her peers. she has the capacity to understand that 'big picture' better than most people, but whatever greater portion of the universe she understands is nothing next to infinity and meaningless without connection and context. it's interesting to me that hera is one of the most self-focused and introspective people on the show. her loyalties and decisions are absolute, personal, emotionally driven. she's lonely; she always feels physically away from the others. she misremembers herself sitting at the table with the rest of the crew. she imagines what the ocean is like. there's nothing to say that hera having a body is the only solution for that, but i like what it represents, and i honestly believe it'd make her happier than the alternatives. if there's something to a symbolically narrowed focus that allows for a more solid sense of self... that maybe the way to make something of such a big, big universe is to find a tiny portion of it that's yours and hold onto it tight.

TW: Mention of suicidal thoughts

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Lost another friend due to me being "high "maintenance"...although I don't feel like I am?

I guess I nagged too much on her and she didn't think that not wishing me "happy birthday" was a big deal, when I personally think birthdays are important. Clash in personalities I guess.

I'm just glad that we didn't have that much in common (although she told me she was Asperger too and she was the only physical friend in a long while that I had a mutual fave band with, Bauhaus,) but we weren't even friends for a whole year so it's not that much of a loss I guess. I might have ONE "in real life" friend left now. ONE that I can still visit. But I feel like she is gradually withdrawing herself too. She is never the first to contact me to ask to hang out...

To be honest, I feel empty and tired of trying. I feel I need to "keep a lid on myself"/wear a mask now as I always end up being too enthuastic about a new friendship right from the start. This enthusiasm is scaring them away. So I'll try to keep it more "low profile" but this last physical friend, but it's hard when you have endured so many years of bullying and finally get to talk to someone face to face. Of course I get excited! It's like a starving man finally get access to food for the first time in a long time! He ends up eating too much and too fast. Just like I end up nagging and pushing...

I guess I just haven't found my type of people yet. And I honestly don't think I will, at least not here in Norway...

It has only been a week since I returned from Dresden and Leipzig..and my suicidal thoughts are already back. I returned from being surrounded by likeminded people..being able to express themselves and dress how they wanted to!

And then returning to..."normal people"...everyone looks the same..everyone is talking about the same mundane things.. It's eating me from the inside!

I wanted to be honest with anyone who is willing to read this: the mental health care system in Norway is a joke. They will straight up tell you that "because you are suicidal/have suicidal thoughts...this and this program won't work for you" and then they let you leave without even trying to recommend or place you into some other option of therapy or help. It's like they literally want you to just... die.

Here at home: I honestly feel like that person that stinks..or have some sinister mark on them. As if I have the plague and everyone avoids me..and I am blissfully unaware that I stink..or have the plague..and so I try to run towards the pretty people and I always have to try and chase them because they keep on running away from me. And I am blissfully unaware that I am meant to be shunned/shooed away. That I don't belong.

Ever since I was 6-7 years old and wrote in a stupid "friendship book" (which I now honestly believe is cursed)..all of my then friends who have ever written in it, are no longer my friends and in the beginning of the book I was supposed to write or draw whatever I wanted in life (as an introduction to the owner of the book/me).

As a 6-7 year old I could have written or drawn the most insane of things! Ask a child what they want and they can answer anything from a pony to a million in cash or a whole mountain made of candy..

And what did I write/draw? What was I wishing for? From anything in the world what did I want?

"Friends." ("Venner").

I draw two girls chasing each other in a tag-game. And I wrote "Venner" ("Friends").

And now, over 20 years later...that wish is sadly still relevant.

I really want to go on..but I am so tired.

If I didn't have my fic series...something I feel like I HAVE TO complete (out of spite or because hate to have any project unfullfilled). If I didn't have that... I'm sure I would have been 6 feet under now...or have had my ashed tossed into the sea.

I have no therapist...I wasn't allowed to keep him..and besides my family I don't have anyone to vent too. This is why I make this long post now. As to make you all my followers/mutuals aware that.. I might give up one day. I don't believe suicide is selfish. I believe you should be allowed to end it all if everything seems hopeless. I just wanted to vent. I just wanted you all to know...

I am grasping the last strands here. I am trying my best to keep on...but please don't be mad/angry if I decide to give up. I have fought these thoughts for 21 years now... Don't be mad at me if I'm too tired to keep on fighting. But I will give you a sign. I will let you know..if I decide to give up.

sleepy

elegance.

I will never get over the gag of the prime minister introducing herself to everyone it’s so funny

Holy macaroni it's 18° outside apparently.

Working on some designs for one of my oldest OCs, “Cure” (Patreon)

I also managed to track down some of her initial concept sketches from 2018 - why 2018 considering I called her one of my oldest OCs?

Well, her design has always been rather elusive, even more so since she spent so much time in my head without being brought to paper - even these sketches make mention of it!

Pretty sure she got “Cure” in 2018 too - starting to take form!

Confession? Remember that time you were complaining about gaining weight? You looked fucking hot with it, it made your shape stand out even more. If I lived near you I would have asked you on a date then. And I love your sense of fashion. I think your sweet. Your blog is cool. Anyone who gets to meet you is lucky. Have a nice day.

Confess something you've thought about me on anon, and all I can do is post it

love my social worker he's so sweet and i love my mentor/guide/one day i'll find a fitting english word for what her role is too. last time i met the former he said they talked abt the thing i'm starting this thursday and said "while it feels like these circumstances may be impossible for you, logically speaking you shouldn't succeed there, yet both of us are certain you will" which is very nice but also AAAAAAAAAAAAA

🤔

How do Limbless see in front of them with those noses?

Is it like how your brain "deletes" your nose from your field of view, but much more extreme, and the bottom half of their vision is just a big blind spot?

Or is it more like how animals with a snout see, like they can't see right in front of their faces?

something i struggle with is my australian identity. it's a fickle thing, identity that's tied to your country of origin. now those who know a bit about our countries history, I descend from the english part of the country. my dad is first generation australian (his parents are immigrants) and my mum's ancestors probably came across on the first fleet as convicts (we think that was the case anyway). so i'm british pretty well through and through. which is fine but i'm honestly not very proud of what the british did here to this country..... they stripped an entire culture of their own identity and practically erased it completely-- the people and the tradition-- and we are still making up for the unforgivable actions today (as we should be!). so yeah my australian identity feels a little bit conflicting.

so here's the thing. i want to learn and experience the indigenous culture that was so horrible erased by the british colonisation, but i understand how far away i am from indigenous australians and their culture. but i simply can't be a part of "just another western culture" i need more than just being a westerner.... i want my own individual culture that I can share and experience with food and tradition and ART and STORIES! like i feel so lost in "just another western culture".

but here's the other thing. australia is so uniquely isolated in its westerness. even though we are a predominantly western society, we are different. we do have tradition. we do have food. we do have art. we do have stories. it just doesn't look like an old, rich culture, it's growing and it's still young.

i feel like i find myself envying my lack of indigenous identity and therefore having no time to this land and no way in to understand the marvelous culture they have. but then again i also seem to despise my part in the western world. maybe out of consolidation or guilt but maybe also just out of not feeling particularly connected with australia's western traditions. so i'm stuck in this weird inbetween, unable to identify with either culture that make up my country.

i feel a bit lost.