#this post was in my drafts with that caption and nothing else..... ok
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simone de beauvoir's apartment 🙏🏻
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You awake?
It’s 4 am..... so of course my brain wants to write. Here’s a VERY rough draft. I’ll start polishing it tomorrow.
Pairing: Joe Anaoi X Reader, (Roman Reigns X Reader)
FLUFF.... talk of nightmares
I woke in a panic. My heart was racing, I was crying and I think I was mid-scream when I jolted awake.
A quick glance across the room showed me that my roommate (Naomi) was still asleep. Thank goodness for that.
Flashes of the dream flicked through my head, like still shots from a movie. In my head, I knew I was safe, but my nervous system ignored the logical part of my brain, choosing instead to shiver so hard it hurt. There was no way I was going to get back to sleep right now. It’s hard to relax when you don’t want to fall asleep and face that hell again.
I focused on slowing my breathing. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. I reminded myself that I was safe. It was just a memory; just a dream. It couldn’t hurt me. It could make my life hell though, and it was. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t calm down.
I grabbed my phone off the bedside table intending to distract myself with social media. Instagram would be the best thing right now. No political arguments, no drama.... just pictures with captions. Yeah, that might help. I opened the app, and started watching the stories. Natty posted videos of TJ with the cats. Mandy showed off her new bikini. Colby was plugging Dead Boys Fitness. Pam was showing off new merch. This was exactly what I expected to see, but it wasn’t enough to help me relax.
I clicked on the search bar with full intentions of typing in my best friend’s name... but when I did, a picture of Joe caught my attention.
Joe. I wanted him here. Even though the nightmares had been hell recently, I had resisted the urge to call him. I resisted the urge for the past 4 nights. I should resist now, but looking at the picture in front of me broke me of my resolve. I should let him sleep. I crumbled, physically and mentally.
“You awake?” I texted him.
He didn’t answer and I was torn between being glad I didn’t wake him and being disappointed.
I typed in Stacy’s name and opened her page, checking out the beautiful sunset pictures she posted earlier. They should have calmed me,but nothing was going to do that. Nothing except Joe, and he was sleeping, so that wasn’t an option.
I could see if the hotel bar was open, but I doubted it would be at 3 am. I could go workout. That would burn off some energy. I got up, silently digging through my suitcase for workout gear, using my phone for light when it buzzed in my hand.
“I’m here. You ok?” It was Joe.
I paused trying to figure out how to answer. I wasn’t ok. I also wasn’t as bad as I had been when I woke. My fingers hovered over the phone’s keyboard trying to figure out the right response when his next text came through. “Did you have a nightmare?”
“Yeah. Sorry I texted you. I didn’t want to wake you...” I paused looking at what I’d just written. Of course I wanted to wake him. I wanted to feel safe and waking him was the only way. “I had a moment of weakness. Go back to sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“No. I’m ok. Want to come to my room?”
YES! YES! I wanted to be near him. I wanted to just break down and let him be strong for me. “I’m ok. Really. Go back to sleep.” I texted back.
“I’m in room 708. Just get your ass over here.”
“No. I’m sorry I woke you. Go back to sleep.”
I watched as three dots indicated he was typing. Then the dots were gone. Then they popped back up. He was typing, erasing and typing something else. I waited with my eyes glued to the screen.
“Stop trying to be strong and come to my room already.”
I stared at the message. There was the invitation I wanted. I could try to get through tonight alone and miserable or I could give in to my desire and go snuggle with him. I’d already woken him. I might as well go see him.
“Ok. Be there soon.” I grabbed a hoodie, water and my room card before slipping on some shoes and heading down the hall to his room.
When I arrived, I found his door propped open like it had been 4 days ago. Tonight though he was laying in bed. He pulled the covers back when he saw me. “Come here.” His voice was husky and gravely with sleep. I closed the door behind me, and made my way over to him.
Slipping off my shoes and hoodie and leaving them in a little pile next to the bed, I crawled into the bed and into his arms, immediately burying my head in his chest as he wrapped his body around me. “You seem better tonight.” He said softly as he ran his hand over my hair and kissed the top of my head.
“I’ve been awake for a while” I explained.
“You should have texted me earlier.” How could this man be so sweet?
“You’re the face of the company. You need your beauty sleep.”
“I’m also your friend, and that’s more important than sleep. Listen,” he hooked a finger under my chin, pulling my face up until I could see his eyes. “I WANT you to wake me up when you have nightmares. In fact, I’ll sleep better if I know you’re ok. I’ve spent the past few nights wondering if you were having the nightmares and how bad they are. If you’d promise to text me when you’re having a bad night, I’d be able to sleep better.”
“That’s some messed up backwards logic.” I teased him and realized I was already much more relaxed.
He grinned at me, “it’s the truth though. So, please promise me you’ll text.”
“Joe,” I took a deep breath. “I’m having nightmares every night. Not always terrible, but it’s every night.”
“Then you should text me every night.” He smiled at me and softly kissed my forehead. “Now, roll over so I can spoon you and we can get some sleep.
I drifted off with a smile on my face and Joe curled around me protecting me.
@mindofasagittaruis @lclb13
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No way, simmeronnie is doing replies again? :o It’s been a month, I know. It’s been hard, exams and all that. I’ve talked about that a lot. Now I’m in so much better place. I’ve read what I wrote in my diary a few months ago (February and March to be exact) and wow...just wow. If you compare me from now to me from those months, you wouldn’t even believe we’re the same person. Right now, I’m the happiest I’ve been in a while. Back then, I’m honestly surprised I didn’t give up. I was so tired of everything.
Onto something else. I thought I’d catch up on a lot of blogs now that my graduation is done, but actually, I got carried away reading a good book (and therefore I didn’t actually catch up on too many blogs). Guys, you all need to read Illuminae. I finished the trillogy today and man, it was so good. Don’t get intimidated by how big the books are, yesterday I read over 400 pages and I didn’t even know how. It’s just so good. Read it. Seriously. I hope you like a good plot twist because these books are full of them. It’ll leave you speechless.
I’m just excited I can read books that have nothing to do with exams again, okay? Tomorrow I’m starting...I’m not sure. Probably The Burning Maze by Rick Riordan. FINALLY.
Anyway, blog stuff. I thought I’d only do the latest replies since my activity feed was broken, but now I was able to scroll down a lot. I wasn’t paying attention and suddenly I was at comments from April. So yeah, that thing I screamed about this week, apparently it’s fixed itself. Though I’m still not sure if it shows all of the comments. Oh well. I worked with what I was able to get.
By the way, in these replies, I did not include the “congrats” comments when I said I got through my exams. But I saw you all, and honestly, thank you so much. I was thinking about this the other day, and I think one of the reasons why I made it through high school was simblr. This is my happy place. Most of the time.
autistichatkid replied to your photoset “Oh no. OH NO. Guys I fried another one of my sims.”
ronnie pls be more careful you know how these things go
*looks at my own sunburnt arms* I won’t ever learn
starburstshores replied to your photoset “Nerine no that’s not the way”
Jesus can walk on water, Nerine can swim through land
she’s a Reverse Jesus
starburstshores replied to your photoset “Nerine: “Wakey wakey…” Regan: “Huh? Wha - Nerine? What are you doing...”
This is some Edward Cullen shit she’s pulling ��
Let’s be real, even with how Regan and Nerine’s story is going, it’s still a better love story than Twilight ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Hold on, do people still say that?
tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Regan: “Hi mum! What’s up?” Miracle: “Regan, you might want to sit...”
OMG WHAT"S HAPPENING OMG
alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Regan: “Mum?” Miracle: “Yes sweetheart?” Regan: “He’s going to make...”
Yoo he better make it ����
autistichatkid replied to your photoset “Regan: “Hi mum! What’s up?” Miracle: “Regan, you might want to sit...”
oh god no
I can’t explain how I felt writing this. I’m not too empathetic when it comes to other people (and it sucks), but when it comes to “ok how would my character feel in this scene”, I’m immediately in their shoes, and let me tell you, I actually cried, even though I knew damn well how it was going to end. But I also knew what was happening next, and that’s why I cried too. Writing is weird sometimes.
alfalfalegacy replied to your photo “Coming soon…”
Marie looks super pretty in this!!
Thank you. I forgot she was this pretty. I couldn’t believe that when I loaded her for the first time after all these months. I mean, in the regular legacy, I don’t even see her around anymore too much.
vintageplumbobs replied to your photoset “Nerine: “I hate to be doing this, but it’s the only way. I’m sorry...”
Eeeeeeeeeshk.
pxelatedtrash replied to your photoset “Nerine: “I hate to be doing this, but it’s the only way. I’m sorry...”
I stopped liking her when she would always shut Regan down but now I really don't like her and i hope beyond belief that Regan can get away.
dandylion240 replied to your photoset “Nerine: “I hate to be doing this, but it’s the only way. I’m sorry...”
Wow I didnt like her before I definitely don't like her now.
tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Nerine: “I hate to be doing this, but it’s the only way. I’m sorry...”
Ahem
Hmmm I had a feeling that thee was something wrong with their fast developing relationship
There indeed WAS something wrong with her. I hinted at it a few times, sometimes it was just a little thing that probably only I saw as foreshadowing, but it kept getting more and more obvious towards the end. And wow. Yeah. She really went that far.
Also, can I just say, I weirdly enjoyed seeing how at first, everyone was like “yaaaaas, mermaid girlfriend”, whereas now it’s more like “oh no. OH NO. STAY AWAY FROM OUR GIRL”.
dandylion240 replied to your photoset “Regan: “Because…because I love you. You’re right. You’re all that...”
Nerine is awful! Someone please save Regan!
tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Regan: “Because…because I love you. You’re right. You’re all that...”
EXPLAIN DIS NERINE!
fishingforsims replied to your photoset “Regan: “Because…because I love you. You’re right. You’re all that...”
My brain rn is just “!!!!!”
She just wants her. That’s her explanation. She doesn’t care about anything else, as long as her beloved human will stay right there in Isla Paradiso.
I’m just now thinking, how the hell did I go from the first story idea for Regan to this. In the original story, there were no creepy psycho mermaid girlfriends. There was...a lot of Bridgeport...some cheating...a lot of guilty feelings...more feelings towards Courtney...Felix didn’t end up with her in that storyline but there would be a love triangle with another person...and considering I’m not actually the biggest fan of love triangles, I as a writer am glad I somehow ended up with a psycho mermaid girlfriend story. It was way more interesting to figure out and write.
But if Regan could decide, I’m pretty sure she’d rather end up in a love triangle 😬
Let me tease you though: There’ll still be a lot of Bridgeport later.
tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “Gwyneth Ellen Clare flirty | perfectionist | family oriented | neat |...”
Was it cliffhanger? Le gasp
Anyway I'm looking forward to see you BRP!
Oh I just saw the tagsXD Don't mind me I think I have to go to bed
Wait still a cliffhanger. Just not as big as I initially thought. Don't mind me��
Haha no worries, this happens to me all the time, I forget to read the tags or caption and then I’m like huh??? What’s happening?? :D But I’m glad you’re looking forward to the BPR, I’m happy to be finally posting it. I’m not sure if it’ll be just as fun as my NSB, but it certainly won’t be as sad as the current story. You guys deserve a break.
Oh, another teaser: Guess what you guys will get in my BPR? An idiot to yell at. Not Ross-level idiot, but still an idiot.
tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “Coming soon…”
*patiently waits*
It’s coming...very soon!
cloudberry-sims replied to your photoset “Nerine: “Now. You were supposed to move out of the houseboat by the...”
Oh that's evil Nerine...
‘Cause baby she’s a nightmare dressed like a daydream
I’m sorry, I can’t stop referencing Taylor Swift, that’s just who I am
melien replied to your photoset “Regan: “This place is heaven on Earth.” Nerine: “Wouldn’t it be great...”
So yeah this was the post where I kind of figured out something seems off... if I'm not mistaken there were also posts where George warns her but I didn't think much of them
One of the things I enjoy doing when I finish the first draft of something is going back and making hints. Tiny little pieces of foreshadowing. And then it grows and grows and gets more obvious. This was never going to end well. I think I already hinted at it when Regan was saying goodbye to her family before going to Isla Paradiso, though I’m not sure. But I think I left first little clues there.
melien replied to your photoset “Nerine: “I hate to be doing this, but it’s the only way. I’m sorry...”
I first saw pics, then the text... and thought wow damn can mermaids do this? But yeah I love where this is going. I like this kind of creepy
Yeah I had to help myself with Photoshop here, there would be no other way to make it clear that she enchanted/brainwashed her. But damn, it would be cool if something like that was actually in the game. Sea creatures like mermaids don’t always have to be nice. What about sirens from the old mythology? I mean, what they did was getting people killed.
sinfulwunders replied to your post “Today is my graduation day and I’m already almost crying even though I...”
My graduation was last month and I was balling my eyes out �� I understand how you feel
Ahh yes...I was in a car today and we were driving past my high school. I started thinking about it all again and I just can’t believe that just two months ago, we were still sitting there in a classroom, praying for it all to end. And now it’s over and it’s weird and I want to go back because somehow I miss it.
dandylion240 replied to your photoset “George: “I’m worried about you. There’s something wrong. This isn’t...”
George take her away before it's too late!
He kinda...I don’t want to say he fucked up at this point, but if he hadn’t walked away, things could’ve really been different, huh?
tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “George: “Regan, what the hell is going on?” Regan: “You wouldn’t...”
Girl you are definitely not feeling well and this isn't love:/
tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “George: “I’m worried about you. There’s something wrong. This isn’t...”
Girl you do sound like zombie!
tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Regan: “You say that as if it was a bad thing. Get lost, George. I...”
Whaaaaaa?
There better be a wizard near you to un-zombie you, Regan!
That’s how it is with brainwashed people, isn’t it?
No, all jokes and dumb remarks aside, when I wrote Regan in this brainwashed state, it was so hard. Not that writing was hard, handling my feelings was hard. I knew she was hurting everyone and I had to keep going because I wanted to tell this story. Like I said, writing is weird sometimes.
Also, speaking of wizards...how convenient it is that her brother is one now? :D Which actually...I didn’t plan for him to become a wizard just to save her. I didn’t plan for him to befriend a fairy just to save her either. It just all sort of happened. Just like life, huh? Nothing is perfectly planned, you just have to play with whatever you have, and I was lucky this time.
tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Weeks had passed since my last meeting with George. Things got better....”
Yeah I wonder why? Maybe because they are worried about you, too? You never came and anything could happen to you!
She doesn’t care about that. Well, she does, but she doesn’t know that with this whole “your family is useless and I’m the only one who matters to you” haze Nerine put over her.
tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Regan: “Hey mum. How’s life?” Miracle: “What did you just say?” Regan:...”
Miracle, come and get 'er before it's too late!
She would. Honestly, I believe she would, if things weren’t already hard at home for her.
Can we just take a moment to appreciate Miracle for everything she’s gone through? She was “unwanted” at school because she was half alien, she had to share a room with an awful bully at university, then when that hell was over, she became a mother to six children, and now this...when I think of all that has happened, I realize how strong she actually is, because none of this made her give up.
I’ve had so many issues with her story, but looking at her from this perspective, maybe I shouldn’t have.
dandylion240 replied to your photoset “Miracle: “Regan - he was asking about you. He was looking forward to...”
Ugh your girlfriend doesn't want you. She wants to control you. There's a big difference.
tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Miracle: “Regan - he was asking about you. He was looking forward to...”
Sure your girlfriend WANTS it not YOU!
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK AND HOPE REGAN IS ONE OF THEM
I shouldn’t joke about these things but...it’s how I cope
tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Will: “Sorry I left you waiting. I was with my mum.” Roan: “That’s...”
Nerine happened, Roan
Pretty much
autistichatkid replied to your photoset “Will: “What do you mean?” Roan: “Most mermaids - or so I’ve heard from...”
IM SO GLAD WILL AND ROAN ARE THE ONES TBAT ARE GONNA GO RESCUE HER AAAAAA
I was so happy when I figured that out too?? Honestly I thought Will and Roan were going to have the least interesting story but then they prove me wrong and uhhh
I love them so much??
melien replied to your photoset “Miracle: “Regan - he was asking about you. He was looking forward to...”
Poor Regan, I believe she's strong enough to get out of this mind funk... or someone cares about her enough to save her
It’ll all be revealed soon...
tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Will: “What do you mean?” Roan: “Most mermaids - or so I’ve heard from...”
Omg
OMG
I actually really like when supernatural creatures have their let's call them quirks which define their difference to humans! That's really really cool!
Actually, me too, even when it means bad things for the main characters!
#replies#autistichatkid#starburstshores#tiny-tany-thaanos#alfalfalegacy#vintageplumbobs#pxelatedtrash#dandylion240#fishingforsims#cloudberry-sims#melien#sinfulwunders
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—To my love in 140 characters—
Jungkook struggles with his birthday post to Yoongi. Hoseok helps.
yoonkookseok | general | 2.9k words | yoongi's (late) bday fic | canon compliant | AO3
12:00 AM, read the bright screen of Hoseok's phone as it buzzed incessantly at his bedside table.
Hoseok shot up from his bed, grabbing the device in a hurry and running to the door of his and Jimin's bedroom, the younger boy still fast asleep.
As Hoseok opened the door and made to walk into the hallway he saw Jungkook dashing out of his own room towards the living room, laptop in hand and phone tucked in the waistband of his sweatpants, threatening to fall. Hoseok raised an eyebrow, curious, and followed after the maknae after sparing another glance at Jimin's sleeping form.
"What are you doing, Jungkookie?" He asked, stepping next to the couch where the youngest had settled himself on, laptop propped over the center table, a video editor software and ten other tabs — and was that a Yoongi fancam? — opened.
Jungkook jumped, not having noticed Hoseok's presence.
"Hyung!" He took one hand to his chest, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. Did Hoseok really have to creep up on him like that?
He took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart down, pressed "save" on the file he had opened and looked at Hoseok, "I'm working on my post for Yoongi hyung's birthday, I didn't have time to do it earlier, so I have to hurry now."
Hoseok hummed in interest. He bent down to get a better look at the computer screen while the boy went back to typing something in a notepad document. "And what is it that you're working on exactly?"
Jungkook opened his mouth to answer but stopped himself before he said anything. He wasn't about to reveal any details of his incredible birthday post before hearing about Hoseok's own.
"You tell me first, hyung, what have you planned for Yoongi hyung's birthday?"
Hoseok straighten himself, both eyebrows raised in slight surprise and amusement by Jungkook's defiance. The younger was just too cute.
"Well, I'm going to make seven tweets, with a picture and a nice caption each, for each one of the years I've known Yoongi hyung. Sounds good, right?" He stuffed his chest, proud of himself.
Jungkook took in Hoseok's words and his gaze unintentionally wavered, going from his computer screen to Hoseok and back to the screen. It sounded good indeed, like the type of thing that would send Yoongi down into memory lane and make him an emotional mess.
"Yeah… It sounds awesome…" Jungkook offered in a small and slightly quivering voice. He slapped himself mentally; he didn't need to be feeling like a total failure right now, not in front of Hoseok and, most importantly, not when he needed to concentrate on his hyung's birthday project.
Sensing the sudden shift on the younger's mood, Hoseok sit next to him on the couch and slung an arm over his shoulders, "What is it, Jungkookie?"
"I-It's nothing. It's just—" He sighed, "I'm sure Yoongi hyung will love it."
The intrigued look on Hoseok's face remained, though, "Well, yeah, that's the point of it… But what are you making? I'm sure he'll love it just as much."
With his gaze fixed on the laptop's keyboard Jungkook let his fingers tap lightly over the keys, not really typing anything.
"I wanted to make him a video, it's nothing much…"
"A video?!" Hoseok screeched, which caused jungkook to slam his hand on the keys, startled.
"Oh, sorry!" Hoseok lamely apologized as Jungkook fumbled to press "ctrl+z" and fix the text he had been previously writing. "I mean, are you really making him a video? That's amazing!"
A small smiled graced Jungkook's lips. He had to give it to himself, his idea was really good.
Yet, shortly after, the corners of his mouth turned downwards again. Even if the idea and its execution were amazing, they still wouldn't be on par to Hoseok's heartfelt tweets.
He shook his head to dissipate the intruding thoughts. He wasn't envious of Hoseok, he simply felt like his efforts weren't good enough for Yoongi.
Jungkook waited a few seconds until his mind was completely clear and began focusing on his editing again, but stopped before really doing anything, "Hyung, are your tweets ready yet?"
Hoseok blinked. Oh shit.
"No! I mean, kind of? I have the pictures and a draft of the captions I want to use, but I didn't get to post any of them yet. I better get working on that, though, I'm already half an hour late." Hoseok said after looking over at Jungkook's laptop. He scooted to the edge of the couch and fetched the phone he had thrown over the center table, quickly opening the twitter app.
It seemed like he would be the first one to post, Hoseok noticed and made a low squealing noise. Perfect!
As he started to type diligently on his phone, Jungkook glanced at the time in the corner of his computer and at the template of his video; 77 seconds in total and only a couple of frames ready. Panic started to settle into him, why haven't he started this earlier? There wouldn't be enough time now.
Jungkook's hands began to shake and he typed another set of words into another frame and set it in its place on the timeline. He hadn't checked if the soundtrack synched with the frames yet — and how could he, not even 1% of them were finished —, hadn't even checked if the giant letter he wrote to his hyung was coherent enough to be put on full display to the whole world. There was just so much to do, he wouldn't have time to finish it all!
And he might not have realized he had started crying, only being pulled out of his thoughts and stopping to take a deep breath when wet drips hit his hands and the keyboard keys, and Hoseok's hand started rubbing soothing circles on his back.
"What's wrong Jungkookie, why are you crying?"
Jungkook sniffled and rubbed a hand over his eyes, trying to stop the tears. He then thought better of it and decided to first use his shirt to wipe the laptop keys, he couldn't afford having his laptop getting damaged now. But obviously he didn't get every drop, the keys ending up somewhat wetter than before. Jungkook hiccupped, chest tightening and tears rolling down his cheeks at full force.
"I— there's no time, hyung. I won't be able to finish the video in time. There's so much left... Scratch that, there's everything left. I should've started sooner, now even if I hurry—"
"Shh, Jungkookie, it's ok, breathe with me. We have twenty four hours, there's no need to rush. You're doing great, take your time." Hoseok kept rubbing Jungkook's back, the act serving to calm both of them down. Seeing the younger so distressed only caused him to get distressed as well.
"T-Thank you, hyung. But look at you, I-I'm sure you’ve posted everything by now and Yoongi hyung has probably seen it already and is now smiling from ear to ear and—"
"Jungkook. Jungkook." Hoseok hold the younger's face in his hands, staring right into his eyes, "Jungkook, please stop rambling. I've only posted one tweet, see?" Hoseok showed him his phone as reassurance. "And Yoongi hyung is most definitely sleeping, he'd never check twitter, or any sns for that matter, without getting his cup of coffee or some tea first, and none of us have seen him wobbling into the kitchen, have we."
That seemed to do the trick. Jungkook sniffled a few last times and turned back to his laptop, his letter at the back of the screen and, at the front, the video software with the last edited frame playing on loop, bright and waiting for him to resume his work.
"Alright," Jungkook took another deep breath, "everything's fine. It'll all be fine if I keep working." He muttered as self reassurance. He just had to work hard. Twenty four hours — now twenty three and a half — were more than enough.
Hoseok smiled fondly at him, relieved he had calmed down, and pressed "send" on his next tweet. Five more to go.
"But hyung," Jungkook called him not two seconds later, "what if everyone else tweets before me. What if it takes me so long to finish this I only get to post it ten hours after everyone else?" And there he went again, hands shaking and lips trembling as despair made its way into his body once more.
Hoseok felt his heart hurt. As lovely as it was to have Jungkook so invested in working on something meaningful for Yoongi it also came at a high prince. Not only when it came to gifts and expressing their feelings, the younger was also always afraid he wasn't good enough for Yoongi, wasn't as good as Hoseok to be in a relationship with the older rapper, wasn't good enough to be together with two amazing people like Yoongi and Hoseok.
"Don't worry about that. I can space my tweets out a little, and after the others wake up I'll tell them to wait. You have time, it's ok." Hoseok said slowly and caressed his cheek for good measure, feeling the tear stained skin warm up under his fingertips.
A sweet smile made its way into jungkook lips, his nose crinkling slightly.
"Thank you, hyung." And he resumed his editing, as determined as ever. Everything was fine, he'd be fine and his video would blow everyone away. The giggle that followed got covered by his hand, but Hoseok didn't fail to notice it.
A huge smile formed on the rappers face and he got up, patting Jungkook on his shoulder to indicate he was leaving the room. He needed to check on the others and make sure his promised was kept. His Jungkookie was going to finish his birthday post on time and before the others, and he was going to make sure of that.
He walked into his room, finding jimin still asleep. The same went for the other members as he checked up on them. Even Yoongi himself, which always made something for the fans during his birthday, was lost in dreamland, curled inside a blanket cocoon. Hoseok fought the urge to walk over to him and place a soft kiss on his lips, but he knew that would most likely stir him awake and, as much as he loved him, Jungkook was his priority at the moment, and if there was something the younger didn't need right now was Yoongi wandering around the dorm.
He went back to his room and sat at the edge of his bed. He unlocked his phone to post another one of his tweets and waited. Someone was bound to wake up soon.
But soon didn't come as soon as he had hoped. He spaced his tweets out with about five minutes in between them — thinking back at it now, he sighed; he should've used a bigger interval, fifteen minutes, maybe… Yeah, that would've worked better —, went to the kitchen twice to get some water and also went over to check on Jungkook, to which the boy reassuringly smiled at him and said he was fine, but within an hour he was done, all posted, and no one was awake yet. He grunted, lying on his bed. More waiting was ahead of him.
Jimin was the first one to get up and Hoseok didn't even wait for the boy to gather his bearings before grabbing him by the arm and telling him to not post anything for Yoongi's birthday.
Jimin yawned and rubbed at his eyes, "What?" He croaked out, voice hoarse from sleep.
"Don't post anything for hyung's birthday yet, you have the whole day, there's no need to be all desperate and stuff." No need to be all desperate and stuff and yet here he was doing everything he could so Jungkook wouldn't become exactly that.
Jimin seemed to take a second to process what Hoseok had said then stared at him blankly. "What, why? Not that I care about the time I post my photo, but… Why? Does it really matter when I do it?"
"Of course it matters!" Hoseok said it so loudly and with such conviction Jimin stepped back, a half offended, half disgusted look on his face. "What's wrong with you, hyung."
Hoseok sighed heavily, "Jiminie, listen, Jungkookie is struggling with his post, he's afraid he's not going to finish it on time, so please just wait. I'll do whatever you want me to later to make up for it."
Jimin considered Hoseok's words once again.
"If you think I wouldn't refrain from doing something when Jungkook — or any of you, I guess — might get upset by it, then that's on you and I take deep offense to that," he said in a mockingly serious tone, but his words were no less truthful. Hoseok groaned exasperatedly and Jimin raised a finger to shush him, "but, I'll wait. Jungkook's been talking about this 'amazing video' he was going to make for weeks," Hoseok sent him an indignant glare and he immediately understood what it meant, "video that he didn't talk to you about in fear you'd open your big mouth and blurt everything out to Yoongi, and as I was saying, I don't really feel like ruining the surprise, so I'll just sit back, maybe get something to eat. It's too early anyway." Jimin finished and walked straight past Hoseok, heading to the kitchen. In his way he greeted Jungkook and said something to him, but over the walls of their dorm Hoseok wasn't able to discern any of the words they shared.
Jin was the next one to wake up and Hoseok told him the same thing he had said to Jimin, only in a more respectful tone — better not risk getting the elder to post some embarrassing picture of him and Yoongi as a birthday shenanigan.
Lastly Hoseok checked on Namjoon and Taehyung, finding the two sleeping and snoring in their shared bedroom. The curtains were closed and both of them had earphones in — Namjoon was even wearing an eyes mask, as if the room wasn't already dark enough. It looked like neither of them would wake up soon, and Hoseok wasn't complaining.
A few more hours passed and Hoseok was fighting the urge to lie on Jungkook's lap and fall into sleep's sweet embrace, but he didn't want to bother the youngest in his work and, besides, he still needed to keep watch in case one of the sleeping members decided to not be asleep anymore.
He yawned and stretched, willing his eyes to remain open, when Jungkook jumped to his feet next to him, hands in the air, screaming "I'm done!!" with a fiery passion in his eyes.
Hoseok jolted on the couch, both from shock and excitement. His heart almost ran out of his chest, but he willed it to stay put and pulled Jungkook into his arms in a tight hug.
"That's great, Jungkookie!" Hoseok whispered in his ear, taking the opportunity to leave a kiss on his neck. "Let's post it, then!"
When Yoongi, Namjoon and Taehyung emerged from their rooms it was already time to leave for the airport, no time for big cheers of "Happy birthday, Yoongi!!", only for a few pats on the back and reminders of "don't forget anything, we'll be away for a while."
As expected, Yoongi didn't really bother to check twitter, Hoseok noticed as he walked to their van with an arm draped around the elder. The shorter man only uploaded a photo he took a couple of days before with a brief message thanking everyone for the support during his birthday when they got into the vehicle, which almost didn't happen either, since his phone almost shattered on the ground when Jungkook grabbed him by the arm and pulled him onto a seat by his side. Hoseok observed everything with a grin plastered on his face and Yoongi only scoffed at him, just watch and see if I'll bother looking at what you guys posted for me.
Not true to his words (thoughts, to be precise) at all, Yoongi opened twitter as soon as he was relatively comfortable on his airplane seat, scrolling through the members' posts with badly hidden curiosity and enthusiasm bubbling out of his pores.
Hoseok and Jungkook shared a knowing and fond look while observing him, but didn't comment on their boyfriend endearing behavior; he had received enough teasing from the other members as it was.
A wave of affection washed over Yoongi when he finally saw what Jungkook and Hoseok had done, choosing to check their posts last in a sort of self-made surprise. And indeed a surprise it was. Birthday messages aside, just the amount effort and love put into them was enough to cause Yoongi's heart to grow three times in size.
As he looked at their posts one more time he was glad to see that by now Jungkook, on his right, a hand squeezing his own over the armrest, had his eyes glued at the window admiring the morning sky, and Hoseok, on the left, still clutching at his arm after the takeoff and head resting on his shoulder, was sleeping soundly, so they couldn't see the huge smile that formed on his lips nor the tears that swelled up in his eyes.
Yoongi kissed the top of Hoseok's head and the knuckles of Jungkook's hand, neither of them moving from their positions, and closed his eyes, the beat of Jungkook's video still faintly playing through his earphones.
#yoonkook#sugakookie#yoonseok#junghope#yoonkookseok#bts#i know this is late but i don't care#hobi and jungkook basically confessing their love for yoongi on his birthday was a too great of a thing for me to ignore it#i'll never get over it tbh#fanfic#bts fanfic#my fics
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Decades of FBI Corruption Condensed in a Nutshell – THE CLINTON FOUNDATION
Crooked Hillary to Vlad, I could use a couple more Million for my Foundation – at HoaxAndChange.com
Bill Clinton Loretta Lynch grandma in prison at HoaxAndChange.com
Hillary what difference – Benghazi @ Hoax and Change
Let’s follow the trail…… Here’s what it looks like when all the pieces are sewn together. It smells like conspiracy and treason.
From 2001 to 2005 there was an ongoing investigation into the Clinton Foundation.
A Grand Jury had been impaneled.
Governments from around the world had donated to the “Charity.”
Yet, from 2001 to 2003 none of those “Donations” to the Clinton Foundation were declared.
Hmmm, now you would think that an honest investigator would be able to figure this out.
Guess who took over this investigation in 2002?
None other than James Comey.
Guess who was transferred into the Internal Revenue Service to run the Tax Exemption Branch of the IRS?
Your friend and mine, Lois “Be on The Look Out” (BOLO) Lerner.
It gets better, well not really, but this is all just a series of strange coincidences, right?
Guess who ran the Tax Division inside the Department of Injustice from 2001 to 2005?
No other than the Assistant Attorney General of the United States, Rod Rosenstein.
Guess who was the Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation during this time frame?
I know, it’s a miracle, just a coincidence, just an anomaly in statistics and chances, but it was Robert Mueller.
What do all four casting characters have in common?
They all were briefed and/or were front line investigators into the Clinton Foundation Investigation.
Now that’s just a coincidence, right?
Ok, lets chalk the last one up to mere chance.
Let’s fast forward to 2009……
James Comey leaves the Justice Department to go and cash-in at Lockheed Martin.
Hillary Clinton is running the State Department, on her own personal email server, by the way.
The Uranium One “issue” comes to the attention of Hillary.
Foul Mouth Crooked Hillary @ HoaxAndChange.com
Like all good public servants do. You know – looking out for America’s best interests. She decides to support the decision and approve the sale of 20% of all of the US’s Uranium to no other than — the Russians.
Now, you might think that this was a fairly straight-up deal, except that it wasn’t: The American People got absolutely nothing out of it.
And they’re investigating president Trump for “collusion.”
However, prior to the sales approval, no other than Bill Clinton traveled to Moscow, got paid 500K for a one-hour speech, and then met with Vladimir Putin at his home for a few hours.
Ok, no big deal right?
Well, not so fast: the FBI had a mole inside the money laundering and bribery scheme.
Guess who was the FBI Director during this time?
Yep, Robert Mueller, who even delivered a Uranium Sample to Moscow in 2009.
Guess who was handling that case within the Justice Department out of the US Attorney’s Office in Maryland?
None other than, Rod Rosenstein.
Guess what happened to the informant?
The Department of Justice placed a GAG order on him and threatened to lock him up if he spoke out about it.
How does 20% of the most strategic asset of the United States of America end up in Russian hands when the FBI has an informant, a mole, providing inside information to the FBI on the criminal enterprise?
Guess what happened soon after the sale was approved?
~145 million dollars in “donations” made their way into the Clinton Foundation from entities directly connected to the Uranium One deal.
Now guess who was still at the Internal Revenue Service working the Charitable Division? None other than, Lois Lerner.
Ok, that’s all just another series of coincidences. Nothing to see here, right?
Let’s fast forward to 2015.
Due to a series of tragic events in Benghazi and after the 9 “investigations” the House, Senate and at State Department, Trey Gowdy who was running the 10th investigation as Chairman of the Select Committee on Benghazi discovers that The Hillary ran the State Department on an unclassified, unauthorized, outlaw personal email server.
Ambassador J. Christopher Stevens Killed in Benghazi. Crooked Hillery Clinton Failure, and then the coverup
He also discovered that none of those emails had been turned over when she departed her “Public Service” as Secretary of State which was required by law.
He also discovered that there was Top Secret information contained within her personally archived email. ( Let’s not forget – at least 10 CIA spies in China were killed by the Chinese because of the leaks, and God knows what else occurred. )
Sparing you the State Departments cover-up, the nostrums they floated, the delay tactics that were employed and the outright lies that were spewed forth from the necks of the Kerry State Department, we shall leave it with this…… they did everything humanly possible to cover for Hillary.
Now, this is amazing: guess who became FBI Director in 2013?
Hint: he secured 17 no-bid contracts for his employer (Lockheed Martin) with the State Department and was rewarded with a six million dollar thank you present when he departed Lockheed.
lockheed Martin
None other than James Comey.
Amazing how all those no-bids just went right through at State, huh?
so he’s the FBI Director in charge of the “Clinton Email Investigation” after, of course, his FBI Investigates the Lois Lerner “Matter” at the Internal Revenue Service and exonerates her.
Nope….we couldn’t find any crimes there.
So what happened next?
In April 2016, James Comey drafts an exoneration letter of Hillary Rodham Clinton — something he had no authority to do. Meanwhile, the DOJ is handing out immunity deals like candy.
They didn’t even convene a Grand Jury.
Like a lightning bolt of statistical impossibility, like a miracle from God himself, like the true “Gangsta” that Comey is, he steps out into the cameras of an awaiting press conference on July the 5th of 2016 and exonerates The Hillary from any wrongdoing.
Can you see the pattern?
It goes on and on. Rosenstein becomes Asst. Attorney General; Comey gets fired based upon a letter by Rosenstein; Comey leaks government information to the press; Mueller is assigned to the Russian Investigation sham by Rosenstein to provide cover for decades of malfeasance within the FBI and DOJ. And the story continues.
FISA Abuse, political espionage…. pick a crime, any crime, chances are…… this group and a few others did it, bringing new meaning to the term “organized crime.”
All the same players.
All compromised and conflicted.
All working fervently to NOT go to jail themselves.
All connected in one way or another to the Clintons.
They are like battery acid, they corrode and corrupt everything they touch.
How many lives have the Clinton’s two destroyed?
As of this writing, the Clinton Foundation, in its 20+ years of operation of being the largest International Charity Fraud in the history of mankind, has never been audited by the Internal Revenue Service.
Let us not forget that Comey’s brother works for DLA Piper, the law firm that does the Clinton Foundation’s taxes.
And the person that is the common denominator to all the crimes above while doing her evil escape legal maneuvers at the top of the 3 Letter USA Agencies? Yep, that would be Hillary R. Clinton!
WHO IS LISA BARSOOMIAN?
Let’s look a little into Mrs. Lisa H. Barsoomian’s background.
Lisa H. Barsoomian, a US Attorney who graduated from Georgetown Law, is a protege of James Comey and Robert Mueller.
Meet Lisa H Barsoomian The Wife of Rosenstein : ALL Barsoomian court Docs have been PURGED for her Clinton representation in Hamburg vs. Clinton in 1998 and its appeal in 1999 from the DC District and Appeals court dockets. @DevinNunes @seanhannity https://t.co/TV68S8e2W9 pic.twitter.com/rj2ekWYnpr
— LB moult (@LbMoult) April 13, 2018
Barsoomian, with her boss, R. Craig Lawrence, represented Bill Clinton in 1998.
Lawrence also represented:
Robert Mueller three times;
James Comey five times;
Barack Obama 45 times;
Kathleen Sebelius 56 times;
Bill Clinton 40 times; and
Hillary Clinton 17 times.
Between 1998 and 2017, Barsoomian herself represented the FBI at least five times.
You may be saying to yourself, OK, who cares? Who cares about the work history of this Barsoomian woman?
Apparently someone does, because someone out there cares so much that they’ve “purged” all Barsoomian court documents for her Clinton representation in Hamburg vs. Clinton in 1998 and its appeal in 1999 from the DC District and Appeals Court dockets (?).
Someone out there cares so much that the internet has been “purged” of all information pertaining to Barsoomian.
Historically, this indicates that the individual is a protected CIA operative. Additionally, Lisa Barsoomian has specialized in opposing Freedom of Information Act requests on behalf of the intelligence community. And, although Barsoomian has been involved in hundreds of cases representing the DC Office of the US Attorney, her email address is Lisa Barsoomian at NIH gov. The NIH stands for National Institutes of Health.
This is a tactic routinely used by the CIA to protect an operative by using another government organization to shield their activities.
It’s a cover, so big deal, right? I mean what does one more attorney with ties to the US intelligence community really matter?
It deals with Trump and his recent tariffs on Chinese steel and aluminum imports, the border wall, DACA, everything coming out of California, the Uni-party unrelenting opposition to President Trump, the Clapper leaks, the Comey leaks, Attorney General Jeff Sessions recusal and subsequent 14 month nap with occasional forays into the marijuana legalization mix …. and last but not least Mueller’s never-ending investigation into collusion between the Trump team and the Russians.
Why does Barsoomian, CIA operative, merit any mention?
BECAUSE….
She is Assistant Attorney General Rod Rosenstein’s WIFE….That’s why!!
GET THIS INFORMATION OUT TO EVERYONE YOU CAN.
Jaw dropping, shocking and extremely sad that this info has never been exposed-
Decades of FBI Corruption Condensed in a Nutshell – THE CLINTON FOUNDATION Decades of FBI Corruption Condensed in a Nutshell - THE CLINTON FOUNDATION Let’s follow the trail...... Here's what it looks like when all the pieces are sewn together.
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Mega rollercoaster ride
4th of March
This will probably be the longest post I have ever written. January was extremely long yet nothing much had happened. February was very very short and right now it’s the 4th of March, and every else happened before today since the start of February, was a hella of ride. Everything below is as raw as I can go, meant it from the bottom of my heart.
At the start of February, everything was good except maybe my parents. My uncle cheated on my mother with another woman. And even until now, he’d still refuse to leave the woman, refuse to leave this house. He says he has two hearts, one for my mother and another for the other woman. He promised to support my studies still tho.
The thing is, i don’t care whether he can support my studies or not, I don’t care right now if i have the money to go for university or not. I can wait, i can take a gap year. All I want to happen is my mum’s misery to stop. To have someone to teach you how to be a person and how to love properly since you were so young, then have that same someone to cheat on their own partner, was a torture. Stop talking about honesty, about trust, about a person’s good heart, when you did the total opposite. Don’t be a hypocrite please. I’ve looked up to him, how he is successful in his career, how wise he can be. Then knowing he cheated, breaks apart down. So what if you’re successful in studies or career? None of it matter if you don’t have a heart to love righteously.
My own dad cheated on my mum, my mum cheated on my own dad, now my uncle cheated on my mum. It’s a vicious love cycle, love’s not real here. Love’s never real, i don’t know how am I going to be now, now that I have 3 parents who cheat on each other. How am I going to love now? I’m going to trust God on this, i’m giving him the driver’s seat. Take control of my love life God, you do it best and you’ll hold everything in place in just the right time.
Everything was good with Nick in the start of February, even as he was in Malaysia for 2 weeks. He would call me “bii”, he would say he misses me, he wants a hug. He would ask me about my day, tell me about his day, send me regular snapchats, and he would still tell me how he felt on a day. Things started to spiral down (again), when he came back to Singapore for a short while before he go off for internship again. He came back for a week, yet for the first few days he was busy with his family. I understand that he was busy with his family, yet I hoped I could see him even for a few hours, like just 3 hours of lunch with suffice because then, I knew he was in Singapore yet I couldn’t see him when I missed him a lot. I started to feel like I was getting put on the sidelines again because not only was he busy with his family solely, he was busy meeting his friends first... So i started to get insecure.. because I thought I would be the first on his list to meet when he is finally free.. but no.. Which I why I prayed for 3 days about Nick, asking God and talking to God.
The last post I had was since the mid of February, so i’ll continue on from there. And like I was saying, I decided to pray to God for 3 days, and i’ll see what he has to say to me. For the first night, I prayed and it was a positive answer. In 2nd night, I asked God whether I should continue trying my best for this relationship. If yes, give me a dream of Nick. For this night, God didn’t give me a dream of Nick, just a dream. The first thought that came to me was, “No, let Me do the rest”. I smiled as I thought about it. For the third night, I asked God how long my wait will be? If its a long wait, give me a dream of Nick. If my wait is not long, give me just a dream, and if I should just give up, don’t give me any dream. For this night, God gave me a dream without Nick, means my wait isn’t long, but I still got to continue to wait.
For these 3 prayers, God gave me a sign. I believe it really hard on this cause I know God talks to people through dreams. God gave me a sign, which is to continue to wait because he’s the guy for me, but yet don’t do anything else, let God do things for you. So I stop, I stop doing so much things already. So when he came back to Singapore for a short while, I wanted to make another set of letters for him, since he was about to finish them, yet I don’t want to make an extra effort just because i’m tired.
There was this day on Monday when we say we could probably meet on Wednesday and hang out together. But we didn’t know where to go, so things were still foggy them. Then comes Tuesday, where I was busy and he was busy. He would be around my area at 5pm and I told him maybe I could see him for a while if I make it in time at 5pm at my area. That was 11am in the morning, and he brutally told me “not possible”, then it was only on Wednesday that I found out that he was going to my area with his friend instead, whom doesn’t know that we both are talking. :( I mean, the least he could do was to tell me that he would be with this guy, then i’ll understand.. Yet from 11am, he didn’t text me, didn’t snapchat me or didn’t ask me how i am for the whole day. I knew he was busy with his friends so I didn’t complain, but I knew that no matter how busy he gets, he’d still snapchat me pictures of what he is doing and such things.. He was supposed to go for his martial arts at 7:30 pm but he skipped it to have more time outside with his friends. He knew that we were going out the next day, but he didn’t ask me what we were going to do on Wednesday throughout the whole day, yet he could just snapchat me at 12am, telling me “Good night” as his caption. I was so sad, cause I was really tired and I wanted to sleep, then he scolded me for not sleeping early again and accused me of using him as an excuse and say that i’m scrolling around but in actual fact I’m really just waiting for him to be free so I could discuss with him about Wednesday. My heart broke was he scolded me when I already told him I was waiting for him. :’( Time comes to 1am yet we still havent decide where to go. He got tired so he said to discuss the next morning when we wakes up.
Morning comes and we haven’t got any idea on where to go. There were no nice movies, so I suggested to go for a walk at the beach or east coast, he said it was too hot and he can’t walk a lot because he injured his leg. Okay cool. So I suggest to just have a meal at 18Chefs or Greendot, and he says it was boring. Okay, till 3pm we didn’t have any plans yet. I’ve been throwing so much ideas but he rejects all. He then tells me that maybe he should skip his martial arts lesson, obviously you should cause at 3pm i’m still home and doing nothing, but yet i understand that he wants to go for the class so much. So I just told him, “don’t skip la, your last few lessons before you go for internship”. he said, yeah and that he really wanted to go. I thought that if he went, I could go Jurong to run some errands at about 7:30 pm. But during 3pm I gave up trying to think of places to go, so i just said “nvm ah i just go Jurong do my things.” only then did he suggest for a movie, then continued to say, “ok nvm I meet you at Jurong for a quick meal” so thennn it started raining heavily and he said that his feet is full of plaster, cannot touch the rain else would get messy, so I said i’ll meet him at the east, at Paya Lebar.
I ended up seeing him only at 6pm and I swear that as he went out of the gantry, I was so. so. so. happy to see him even though what I am looking at is my greatest misery. I cried internally when I see cause I’m just so happy to see him again :’(, i wanted to hug him as he comes closer but he walked to another direction and asked me to follow. We only had 1hour 30 mins of time together and during the whole time we were together, he didn’t hold my hands nor stand close to me or anything :(. Then he went off for his martial art lesson already. I sent him to the bus stop where he took the bus. As he queued to enter the bus, I cried again, not because I won’t be seeing him for the next 6 months, but because I wasn’t his priority.
He could go out with his friends the previous day and could skip his martial art for them, yet he couldn’t spend his whole day of time with me and skip martial art for me. With this, I really broke down cause I now know how much I mean to him, I don’t stand a chance to be compared to his friends at all. Things were made harder for me as I thought I knew he loves me but i’m not his priority, and as I thought about what God told me with the 3 prayers I had. He told me he’s the right guy for me, told me to wait, but God, i’m tired. I put so much effort into this relationship with Nick, but I’m not his priority.
I’m exhausted, tired. I just wanna my feelings to stop, I just don’t really want to see him again cause I know i’m not his priority. I stopped everything really, I’m done putting in effort, but I will still continue to wait for him God. So help me with this.
I stopped sending him good morning messages when I wake up and think of him, he doesn’t do that to me at all. I stopped talking to him every hour cause I think there’s no more point. I stopped questioning myself whether is he wearing the bracelet or not, I stopped questioning myself whether he had read the letters finish. I stopped putting effort already, i’m tired, but I miss him so so much. What am I doing wrong again?
敢给，就敢心碎。If you’re willing to give, you are willing to get your heart broken.
男人没有一个好东西的。
On 1 March and 2 March, I spent the whole day making a welcome board for my sister’s wedding on 3 March. I spent the whole day of 1 March making drafts, trying out different flowers to draw, and finally making a final draft to draw on the actual board. Then on 2 March, I had some time to myself, so I used the gold adhesive foil that I bought, to cut out my name in calligraphy font, then pasting it on my phone. I kinda like it, but it wasn’t a clean cut cause I used pen knife to cut, it wasn’t that accurate, but I guess it’s still nice when you look from far. Afterwards, I drew the flowers on the watercolour board, put in so much effort into it, slowly painting the flowers and as slow as I could so I do not make any much errors. I had no experience in painting on a large board, this came out just surprisingly nice, and i’m extremely happy that everyone loves it!
This was the final output:
The work of my own, i’m proud. My sister didn’t ask me to do this. I saw a similar board on Instagram and I thought that hey, this is something I could do for my sister’s wedding, so why not? As I do this painting, I enjoy doing it a lot, at the same time I also grieve, cause my sister is getting married. I won’t be living under the same roof as her already, I won’t be having someone to scold me anymore, but yet, I know deep down in my heart that she loves me a lot, that she cherish me a lot. I am very happy, and very very willing to draw this for her, is the last thing I can do for her before she actually gets married off.
I remember during Chinese New Year on 17 Feb, I remember vividly what my cousins told me. They said that they asked my sister once, “Who will you miss the most when you get married?” My sister said, “My sister lor, she is a very kind girl. I love to talk to her, although she may not seem like she’s funny, but she’s actually a very funny girl.” Wah I broke down right there when my cousins told me what my sister said to them. I’ve always thought that I wasn’t very close to my sister, even on the surface, we don’t seem very close. We don’t usually share our problems with each other, she doesn’t share her things with me, and I rarely share my things with her. I’ve always thought that our sister bond is not strong. But hearing what she said, about her missing me the most when she gets married, made me cry like a baby because I never knew I mean so much to her. This is the reason why I was so so so willing to make her a welcome poster for her wedding, because after all the things she done for me (buy me clothes, bring me places, encourage me), the least I can do for her is to make something for her, something that I used my heart to do.
On 3 March on the wedding day, I woke up 5:30 am so get ready, wore my outfit and such things to prepare for the groom to pick my sister up from our house, to leave home by 7pm because it’s a Chinese wedding tradition. I offered to accompany her in the morning because I kinda wanna see my sister get ready, with her gown on and her make up done by a professional makeup artist. I have never done such things before but I finally got the chance to hehe. So we brought everything to her husband-to-be’s house and got ready there. As time passes by and ready to leave, we went to the venue and I realised that my board that I made for her was placed at the entrance of the venue, with a small easel, placed on an elevated grass patch. To see my work there makes me really proud, thinking about how many people will judge my work, whether they think it’s nice or not I do not care, but the most important thing was that I feel proud that the first thing people see when they enter, is a welcome poster made by the bride’s sister hehe. My sister also said that she’s gonna keep the poster. :)
Then comes the afternoon when it started to rain super heavily. It rained heavily three times and the last rain was the time when I actually remembered about the poster that was placed out in the rain. I don’t know whether was there anyone who brought the poster in, then my mind started to think about the worst possibilities. Since the paint is watercolor, what if the rain caused the paint to drip down onto the bottom of the board and everything I drew before could not be seen anymore? My sister can no longer keep the poster that she said she wanted. She won’t be able to keep the poster, she’d be disappointed and sad cause she really liked it. Then comes the self blaming, fuck, why didn’t I take responsibility of it? It’s your work, Rena, you should have thought about it the first time that it rain and should have taken it indoors. That board is your work, that board is for your sister’s wedding, that board.. is what I painted with my heart so I could give it to my sister, the whole point of this board was to give it to my sister. I was literally in a despair, reallll reallll despair.
As I left the venue to the house for little while, I took a look at the poster, hoping that nothing bad has happened to it. To my surprise, nothing bad happened. The colours just faded a little, nothing worse happen to it. I was extremely relieved, you have no idea how relieved I was, but yet I kept blaming myself, I should have taken responsibility for it, it’s a gift for your sister, Rena. How could you just leave it out in the rain when you clearly know it’s watercolor paint, ffs.
But eventually, I’m just glad it was okay. My board was placed at her new home, at the top of her bed, and my board is featured in the wedding montage in the first few seconds of the video. I’m extremely proud, and extremely happy that my sister loves it :) This is what happens when you put heart and soul into something to give to someone, they will always appreciate you for that.
They say people only remember the bad things you did and will forget about the good things you did. I have a question, were the good things you did sincere? Did it came out from your heart? Or was it merely just for self comfort, or self dignity? People will always remember things you do for them, when they see your sincerity.
On 3 March after my sister’s wedding day, I had to go collect glasses over at my ahyi’s (my mother’s sister) house, cause I left my sister’s glasses with her and forgot to take it back. I got there and got the glasses, along with my aunty who accompanied me. Then there my aunty was, talking to my ahyi. I was looking at their mini aquarium and I don’t know how it started, but my ahyi told me that all the yi zhangs (my mother’s sisters’ husbands) dote on me a lot, especially this house’s yi zhang. He dotes on me so much as if i’m his own daughters, encourage me for my school.. tells me that I can do it and such things, always take the effort to ask about how my school is. I get so envious of my cousins because they have such a wonderful father who loves them so much, who provides them unconditional love, something that I never receive before - an unconditional love from a father.
Then there was my aunty talking to my ahyi about me. My aunty said that she was very happy that this house’s family have been providing me unconditional love, because she knows i’ve never gotten the chance to have a complete and loving family. I teared a lot but i blinked my eyes to not cry. I can’t cry in front of them, I don’t want people to see me cry because i’m in a sad state. It’s not that I don’t want sympathy for people, I just don’t want to break their heart cause they see me cry over my life.
No matter how incomplete and not loving my family is, I am always grateful for the people who stood by me and see me at my worst emotions, seeing me cry, seeing me pissed and angry, and I will always thank them for giving me support whenever I needed. Thank you. :) You’re the kind of people who gave me the reason why I never give up of people.
The month of January and February, i’m the most grateful towards my aunty. Without her, I don’t think I could pass by these 2 months easily. I had a lot of assignments to do, so busy with school i’d come home after submitting my work in school. Sometimes I’d stay in school till 12am to finish up my work and submit, the longest was till 1am. Instead of scolding me, she encouraged me and told me I could do it. I was so stressed out, so tired, so lost. She’d come to hug me and sayang me, pray for me and always tell me she loves me.
I had problems with him i’d also share with my aunty. I’d cry in front of her and she’d always sayang me. She’d know when I cry at night before I sleep, she’d know when i’m sad, always takes the effort to observe my emotions, and is always happy when i’m happy. My aunty is the most understanding woman in my family, which is why i grew up to be understanding as her too.
Right now at the brink of losing a man at home, probably our family wouldn’t be able to pay my aunty anymore, so she’ll have to go home i guess. Who knows probably even before I graduate she won’t be with us anymore. But even if our family can no longer pay her, the least I want our family to do is to hold her till my poly graduation. She’s the most important woman in my life - over my own mother. This is as raw as I can go, I love my aunty and i’d do anything if I could just have her at my graduations and at my wedding in the future.
The older you get, the more shit you have to deal with, and the more first hand life lessons you get. Things will get harder, shittier, worse, unbearable, hopeless. Among all the heart breaks you get, remember to learn how your heart works, it’s the greatest life lesson. Amidst all these emotional roller coaster, remember to learn and grow stronger from it, learn from your mistakes and change your attitude. To me, the only way you’ll get through life is to, learn.
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New Post has been published on https://aowanders.com/travel-blog/travel-planning-is-so-overrated/
Travel Planning is so Overrated
AVOID TRAVEL PLANNING AT ALL COSTS
My first big trip away from home way back in 1998 I planned nothing, and look how that turned out? I knew where I was going to stay, and how I was going to get there. But that was about the extent of my travel planning skills. Plus the internet wasn’t actually a thing back then, but with the gaining popularity of the internet, and fear of what happened in California you would think I would turn into a “Plan everything” kind of guy.
TRAVEL WITHOUT A PLAN
On occasion I have been the “overpacked” guy, but never the “plan everything” kind of guy. I have learned over the years that nomadic life works out in the end, and mishaps are just part of the adventure. Planning a journey is actually a pitfall because now your on the clock. Deposits are at risk, and anxiety over takes your trip.
Years of adventure travel have made me much better at just going with the flow. I’m a last minute travel planner who has never had any set itinerary. When plans change or things go wrong I just roll with it because from my experience it just adds to the adventure. And the alternative to dealing with it will have you curled up in a ball of stress and anxiety trying to figure out how to get back on schedule.
Traveling without a plan allows you incredible adaptability to take advantage of opportunities you wouldn’t otherwise been able to. It allows you to pivot to other options you couldn’t find on the internet back home, or change your mind when something different comes along. Letting your trip unfold randomly can lead to exciting and unplanned adventures.
TRAVELING WITHOUT A PLAN WILL GIVE YOU A PLAN
I set my heart on Florida one winter, but ended up in Outer Banks North Carolina where I made the most money I had ever made in one season. I met a girl and bought my dream truck! Another time, I found myself in the middle of a civil war in Bangkok so I bailed. That lead me to Grand Teton National Park where I found employee housing for $210 a month, and a $1200 a week job in one of the greatest landscapes in America.
I wouldn’t have had these or many other experiences had I planned an itinerary with a set schedule. I recently wrote about a hail mary road trip I made to change my situation where I drove from Montana to Arizona in the hopes of finding that summer money in the winter months. After struggling for longer then I wanted to I stretched up to South Lake Tahoe only to find locked doors of opportunity! Which at the time had me frustrated. Especially since I had to drop Kota and the RV off in Minnesota, but now I reside in the Grand Canyon. I have a job that pays close to $40 an hour, and charges me only 45 cents a working hour for housing. I’m on another working vacation in one of the seven wonders of the world because I traveled without a plan, and let the adventure unfold. Travel planning wouldn’t have gotten me to the Grand Canyon, or see my old friend in South Lake Tahoe.
NEW TRAVELERS OVER PACK AND OVERPLAN
Most new travelers are the opposite as they over plan and over pack. I understand why people schedule their entire route sometimes down to the specific hour, or even why they overpack. Its because travel planning is intimidating and they are afraid of the “what ifs”. I was afraid too at one time. What if I meet someone who wants to go to the beach, and I don’t have any shorts? Or what if I get there and the tour is over booked because I waited to find a better a deal in person? Travel life has a way of providing you everything you will need to have the greatest experiences & best adventures. Alaska taught me that.
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MY FIRST TRIP TO ALASKA
My first season in Alaska I packed city clothes. No sleeping bag, no tent, camping gear of any kind. Surrounded by hippies & vagabonds there I was with a suitcase full of Khakis & dress shirts. All I needed was a pair of jeans, tennis shoes, T-shirt, sleeping bag & a hoodie. Instead I had 4 suitcases of useless clothes and gear. This last move I packed one bag of clothes, and still brought too much. I packed it in under 10 minutes 15 minutes before I left, and I still over packed. Life on the road will teach you that all you need is the basics. Everything else you can buy, make do with what you have or it will emerge from the people you meet along the way. Don’t over think your travel planning like most rookie travelers do.
TRAVEL SLOWER TO TRAVEL MORE
When it comes to travel less is more, and slowing down is the best travel planning advice anyone can give you. Traveling slow creates opportunities for happy accidents of travel where you find yourself on amazing adventures you wouldn’t have otherwise been exposed to. Spending more time in one destination allows you to get a better feel for the pulse of the rhythm of life in the area, and meet amazing locals that will turn into travel angels.
I have a friend that prays for things to go wrong because his best memories are from the worst scenarios. He is strong believer in “The Adventure starts where the planning stops.” So plan your route and fill in the blanks along the way. Your going to meet like minded people at every hostel you stay in, and there’s another hostel just down the road if you don’t like what you find at the first one.
OVER TRIP PLANNING
Travel planning trips can be exciting and adventurous. When you start out you’ll be overzealous and try to cram everything in. That’s ok. Consider this your rough draft, or what I like to call a highlites reminder. These are the things you want to see and do, but take a deep breath. Realize its unrealistic, and burdening to try and rush from attraction to attraction. Plus costly. The slower you travel the cheaper things are. Taking a taxi from the hostel to the Eiffel Tower is practical, but what will you uncover walking the 3 miles through the city of Paris from your hostel to the Eiffel Tower?
The best advice I can give you for trip or travel planning is to figure out the destination. Then figure our your direction, and slowly start moving that way. Book your first few nights of travel. This lets you get a feel for the vibe of the layout around you. Then let the adventures unfold from there. Slowly travel from destination to destination until you feel like stopping or changing direction. See the sites on the way, make new friends at the hostels you find, and take notice of the little things.
TROVER
Go with the flow, and follow your highlites list. Or better yet let Trover guide you. Its the greatest guidebook ever invented, and never goes out of date. Trover is perfect for travel planning on the fly.
When it comes to trip planning there is no magic answer., but there may be a universal approach to keep you focused and stretch your budget. Whether its through a city or country simply keep moving forward. Travel in a continuous loop, and avoid doubling back. This way you can keep your transportation costs down, and use your time more efficiently. Keep your plans flexible so that you can stay in a destination longer or leave sooner if you find a better adventure.
TRAVEL WITHOUT A PLAN QUOTES
Every long term traveler has done their fair share of travel planning and will tell you:
“Life on the road will destroy even the best planned trip. When the unexpected happens thats when you will find yourself in a great adventure story you can tell all your friends back home some day.”
From breaking your hand, traveling to new destinations with new travelers, vehicle breakdowns, loosing reservations, staying longer, leaving sooner, finding love or even finding you’ve been robbed unexpected things happen on the road of travel. Roll with it, and move on. Dwelling on it will only wreck your trip.
BE FLEXIBLE WHEN TRAVELING
Be flexible because if your not the only thing your going to find is stress & anxiety. Don’t rush from attraction to attraction. You traveled all that way so soak it in. Enjoy the moments and leisure of life while on your trip. Its ok to create a vague plan or even a back up plan, but be flexible or you’ll regret it later.
Travel is meant to be leisurely, exciting and adventurous. If you get overwhelmed, burnt out or just want to relax for a few for a few days or take a “travel-time out” its important to give yourself some wiggle room in your travel schedule to do so. Its important to give yourself flexibility for destinations you like or dislike so you can stay longer or leave sooner.
The best travel plan is a flexible travel plan that gives you direction, and adapts to your likes or dislikes while on the road. Traveling with a vague plan is ideal, but traveling without any plan is even better.
Check out these articles to learn how not to not to over pack, travel planning & prepare for long term travel.
Prepare for long term travel
What to Pack for my trip.
Travel Planning
#adventure#adventure blog#adventure ideas#big trip plans#travel planning#trip ideas#trip planning#Adventure Travel Inspiration#Packing#Start Here
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Avid ScriptSync: An Editor’s Secret Weapon
ScriptSync is an Avid product that lives inside Media Composer. It assists filmmakers and video editors with a workflow we’ve been waiting 100 years for – the ability to quickly sync video and audio clips directly to the lines and lines of words on our scripts and transcripts.
Either someone has written a script ahead of time, or like with documentary or reality shows, someone makes word-for-word transcriptions of what people said, and then builds the script in post-production from those transcripts.
You’d think something this awesome would have been around a lot longer. Well it has. 11 years longer in fact. Many people are actually confused between what ScriptSync is and what is the environment inside Avid Media Composer it works from, namely script-based editing.
It’s funny how many people over my career have said this exact line: “Wait, you really want me to write down what they said? Every word?”
If you want ScriptSync to work, and work well, your transcripts need to be amazing. Not just slapped together, or approximate. They need to be accurate. I’d even recommend word-for-word, to the point of including ums and uh’s, stutters and restarts. The more you give ScriptSync to latch onto, the better.
There are three options, and they absolutely subscribe to the theory of cheap, or fast, or good. And I’ll leave it up to you to decide which one fits your production.
The first option is the cheap option. Use an app or a bot on the Web that makes speech-recognition transcripts. Since there isn’t a person listening and typing, the customer is supposed to expect a failure rate. If you are in need of extras in your transcripts – like notes about what timecode each new bite starts at, and who is talking (interviewee versus the producer asking the questions), then this option is not for you.
The second option is the fast one. Use an upload service that hires people at an incredibly cheap rate. On-call and on-demand, these people bang-out transcripts as fast as possible. Think of them as the UBER of the transcription world. For this, a lot of independent producers have recently begun using REV.com. The price is nice and the speed of getting back transcripts is nice too.
There are still issues with this – many of them. But the biggest ones are inaccuracy and inconsistency. If your interview mentions medical terms, occasional foreign language words, or anything out of the ordinary, many times the contracted transcriber will simply spell it phonetically. Also, on large projects you are absolutely not guaranteed getting the same transcriber. If you have 30 transcripts, you might have 30 different people, and each with a different style and accuracy level.
Plus, and a lot of independent filmmakers don’t often think of this one, but what is that company’s confidentiality plan? You may not be concerned with whether they leak the information about what an interviewee says, but depending on your material perhaps you should? Are those transcribers under your own Non-Disclosure Agreements? How sensitive is your material? Remember they are able to keep your proxy videos or audio clips forever if they wanted to. Lots to think about!
The third option is the good one. Use a transcription service that includes a full spectrum of services including confidentiality, a single transcriber assigned to the entire project for consistency, researching the subject matter as it’s being transcribed especially medical terms, locations and such, double proofing on the part of the transcriber and the transcription company’s manager, back-end confidentiality where all evidence of the work and its transcripts are actually deleted from the contracted transcriber’s computer, and then upon request, using of all the transcripts for closed captioning., so that you’re not starting that part of the process from scratch.
Here in the US I’ve been a huge fan of Accurate Secretarial. Every editor should find a good small-scale place like this one that has large-scale standard operating procedures.
I know it seems like I’m drifting away from ScriptSync a bit, and hammering away at how precise your transcriptions need to be, but your transcriptions feed ScriptSync.
ScriptSync is only as good as your Transcriptions.
Well here we are. All transcripts are made, and from them, the script was written.
Time to load the scripts and the media into the system and get it ready for ScriptSync. The process here is actually the same as it was when ScriptSync came out.
Don’t open Media Composer yet. First grab a transcript in a folder on your computer. You’ll have to reformat it as a text file (.txt) in order to use it in Media Composer. Why is this? Actually it’s a good thing. All of the extra formatting that comes along with Microsoft Word would just get in the away of you trying to make your film. In order to mark your script in the Avid with script-based editing’s tools, you need it to start as a clean thing.
Open it in Microsoft Word. Click File / Save As. About 2/3 of the way down, click Format, Plain Text (.txt). Don’t worry, it’s not going to save right now, just wait a moment. Click Save and see what happens. See? Before it saves, another dialogue comes up. This is important. Text Encoding: Even if you’re on a Mac and going to a Mac, just trust me on this. Click MS Dos. Options? Insert Line Breaks. Always. End lines with CR/LF. Always. Allow Character substitution? Always. Once you have these four things selected, click OK, and it saves your script as a text file.
So why those settings?
There are big tech reasons behind it. The terminology and operations of script formatting – in Avid and in all computing in general came from the old days of typewriters. So in the background, when any Word doc or Final Draft doc, or Text File is being converted from one thing to another, that background architecture is following a set of rules created ages ago. ASCII rules to be exact. And those rules here are:
Text Encoding: In MS Dos, it allows more transferrable features between OS’s.
Insert Line Breaks: If you don’t, you’ll be going for the Guiness world record of the longest horizontal script ever.
CR : Carriage Return. This returns the text creator’s ability to its left justification
LF: Line Feed. This means the text won’t be typing right on top of the last line of text that was typed.
Character Substitution: For when you have a goofy name like mine.
Once done with all these, click “Save”. Now this is ready to be brought into Avid Media Composer.
OK, are you ready to sync your script the old way – the archaic, slow way? Let’s do that first, so you can understand how awesome ScriptSync is.
In Composer, click File / New Script. Go and find that script, and bring it in. Here it is, completely formatted for the script-based editing environment. As you can see I’ve also requested from the transcriber to add timecode as well as the letter Q and a colon to indicate the producer’s questions. Now let me tell you, do this File/New Script a few times and, like everyone else, you’ll be begging Avid to expand this to File / New scripts (plural), bring ‘em all in at once. Man we want that. Maybe someday.
Now click File / Open Bin, and let’s bring in the video and audio clip that is what was transcribed. File / AMA Link, or you could bring it in through legacy methods like File / Import or digitizing from tape, it depends where it came from.
Now you can’t just drag it onto the script. That would be like dragging a clip into the timeline without any in/out points. Avid wants to make sure you’re deciding where it should go. It wants in/out points. So go give the clip a listen. Where does it start? Where does it stop? OK go highlight that area on the script. See how nice the click-and-drag ability lets you define in/out points? This isn’t doing any damage to your script. This is just setting in/out points, much like in your sequence timeline. Nothing sticks. Set an in, and an out. Is this the right in and out? Unsure? Well unfortunately, you’d better be sure. It is not – I repeat – not an easy interface for making changes. There is absolutely no “trim” function as you’re used to in the timeline. So you don’t have to be exact with your in/out. Actually you can be sloppy, but you need to be sloppy in adding too long of an in/out, rather than too short.
Now drag the clip into that area. Nothing is synced yet. It is only placed.
Time to sync. Ready? Look here in the toolbar. There’s a play button, which plays the take totally separately from Media Composer’s source/record monitors. There’s also a Record button. Record? What are we recording if the clip is already captured? We are recording the points at which we want to sync. And we do so “live”.
Hit record. It starts playing the take from the very beginning. So you’ll sit and wait through silence, film crew banter, or whatever. Wait for the start. Now when you hear a word, click the clip’s magic little green tail here. Do it again… And again… And again… You can be as line-by-line exact as you want, or if this whole project only has a couple of days of editing total, just click a few and deal with the fact later that your only syncing a few points, and you’ll have to shuttle to find the exact words.
You’re adding these little triangles, called “script marks”. I never call them by that name though because it’s too easy to confuse someone in conversation between “script marks” and “markers” in the timeline. I call them carrots. It’s an old term, and I’m old. So forgive me. Anyway, add the next carrot. And the next… And the next… Bored yet? Getting nervous because you already spent time transcoding or digitizing, and the producer is demanding real results, not this tedious junk?
Well tough! Sit here and do this for the next 40 hours of interviews you shot! Or go buy ScriptSync.
ScriptSync. Ready to see it?
Highlight the in/out. Drag the clip. It becomes a “take”. Click Script / ScriptSync. OK.
Done! Next script. Done. Next script. Done. Those 40 hours? You’ll now be done in like one or two, tops. How much do you charge per hour? Yeah. ScriptSync. No brainer.
A new beautiful feature added for script-based editing 2.0 is text editing. It was sooo bad in the past. I wouldn’t expect something as robust as MS Word to be inside Media Composer. But this new text editing is a really nice compromise. It works great. You add or change text, and the carrots move dynamically. Sure you could do this for script rewrites I guess, but for now let’s just look at transcripts. Let’s say you didn’t use a good transcription house, and you find some text that’s just wrong. Click Edit. Fix it. Done!
Another great feature we’ve had for years but that they’ve upgraded is Set Color. Yeah baby, here’s where the color-coding geek in my jumps out. Is there a good line? Color it. Is there a bad line or one you can’t say for legal or non-disclosure reasons? Color it. Color things your own way, or according to your writer/producer’s preferences, or even to Final Draft’s standards, if your writing staff is using that.
Interface-wise, the default way a new script looks is actually not this white one I’ve been using. Normally it comes with line numbers and gray colored line separations. A lot of folks use it and are really impressed by it. They’re settings you can enable or disable. Personally I always turn those off and keep scripts white, without line numbers. When I have dozens of bins open, it is so wonderful to be able to immediately identify the difference between a bin and a script. I need to see the script separated from bins, visually.
So there it all is: ScriptSync and script-based editing.
This webinar is just an adjunct to the wealth of wisdom out there on ScriptSync. Over the years some of the brightest people we have in our industry have written about it and presented about it. Following Ashley Kennedy and her tutorials has been amazing. Also, go Google Oliver Peters. Go Google Michael Kammes, and his awesome 5 Things series. Follow Kevin P. McAuliffe’s Get Started Fast video series. Go to 24p.com, the immense site from Michael Phillips, the former principal designer at Avid who co-created Avid ScriptSync and script-based editing. Definitely go Google Frontline PBS editor Steve Audette ACE, who has been one of our greatest voices for ScriptSync. Follow the Avid Editors of Facebook. Follow the little Facebook page I created ages ago called “Script Sync Fans”. Go to those places and ask questions. Ask as many as you can.
Or if you really want to get good at ScriptSync, then do what I did… Just play.
Start opening things, and clicking on things, and mess up intentionally. Go break stuff. Then go fix it. The only way to learn how to dig yourself out of a hole, is to throw in a shovel and then dive after it. Craft editing is a challenge, and we must never get to a point where we are above the challenge. If we do, we stop being better filmmakers, and we stop being better storytellers.
ScriptSync is tremendous technology because it helps us be better storytellers. More gets done, and less story gets missed. And we must be focused on the story. In order to give audiences the feeling of total immersion, we must operate behind the scenes, madly – one person in a room, madly pursuing an idea.
It’s the only thing that has ever worked.
The post Avid ScriptSync: An Editor’s Secret Weapon appeared first on ProVideo Coalition.
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