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lostusagis · 4 days

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@jiraipink asked:

"The first thing I noticed about you? Well... When I first met you, I remember accidentally bumping into you and thinking 'Oh he's really pretty.' Eheheh. That's probably normal for you to hear, right? I'm sure most women think that when they see you. However..." She cups her chin and stares down at his boots. The memory comes as a welcomed old friend through the door. A bashful, yet warm smile on her face when thinking fondly of that moment when he obliged to partake in her stupid prank and then looking both concerned for her and confused after his mistake. An honest idiot. A cute honest idiot. "What drew me in was... your willingness to help me. How you... didn't abandon me when I was in desperate help. How you expressed concern over my wellbeing."

A laugh suddenly escapes her as she scratches behind her head awkwardly. "Ahahaha! Th-Though, we ended up hating each other that day because of what I said, I honestly appreciated how you decided to show me a place where I could stay and didn't leave me alone since then.... I was really scared all by myself in this world, Mui. I was even scared of you admittedly, but... You didn't leave me there to die, despite you not liking me very much." She lowers her hand away from her head and twiddles her thumbs. Her gaze blinking slowly at the jewelry she's wearing on her fingers. They were the same ones she wore the day that they met.

"So even though my first thought was that you were pretty, the first impression you TRULY left on me that I noticed about you was... How kind you are." Funny, right? Especially how he acted towards her after attempting to help her. Yet, the reality was that he was kind to Namida when willing to assist her. It was as if... he was always meant to help her, because of how natural and casual he complied to her. She recalls feeling bad for saying something insensitive as a defense mechanism which led to their rocky relationship. Could... things have been different between them had she just trusted him from the get-go?

Oh how grateful she felt indeed to have met someone who could help her not get lost and not make her feel alone. He was someone who always distracted her of such lonely and homesick thoughts whenever they bickered or teased each other. Even now, he continues to help her. So so much. More than he knows. Cherished memories that evoke positive nostalgia. It was at this time she looks up at him with a shimmer in her amethyst eyes; staring at him for a brief moment of silence. Her black platform shoes then slowly leaning up on the tips of her toes and...

Chu~ ♡

Her pink glossy lips blesses his forehead with a gentle kiss that lingered there for a few more seconds. When she pulls away, her feet are planted flat again and she whispers with the most sweetest smile only Kamui can manifest. "Thank you, Kamui... Thank you for not giving up on me." (Bye I'm about to cry FUCK-)

what’s the first thing your muse noticed about mine?

Kamui was definitely really interested in the first thing Namida noticed about him, although he wasn't too fond of the fact that they didn't get along when first meeting.....

Although, when she says the first thing she noticed was how pretty he was, Kamui couldn't help but smile. ''I do get complimented on my appearance a lot yeah, but I only like it when I hear it from you. It meant more from Namida because he knew her, and valued everything she thinks above all else. If she didn't think he was attractive, he'd probably be really bummed out over that. Kamui definitely knew she was complimented a lot herself. She was probably the most beautiful girl he's ever seen. Although, other guys..... looking at her the way he did.... Made him annoyed.

She was talking and he just kept thinking that when looking at her, but he had been listening intently to every word she'd say. He ended up really surprised when she'd say how kind he was. Namida mentioned kind things he did for her, and he'd feel.... embarrassed.

He didn't like being called kind, he was used to be referred to as scary, intimidating.... things like that. Not kind. No one ever called him kind.

She was calling him kind. She thought he was kind....

Well, he thinks about it.... she was the only one he didn't act awful towards, he treated her like he treasured her a lot, which was true. He did. She was important to him. But being called kind.....

He'd look down, cheeks red from the way his image was being ruined.

Kind... he was kind. Not intimidating. He was pouting over this. Although, when she went ahead and kissed his forehead and whispered what she did his eyes widened. Then looking at her silently for a few seconds. He was just..... astonished.

Namida thought these things about him. Thought he was kind.

Kamui pulled her towards him, keeping a grip on her wrist.

''You think that even after seeing me kill? Seeing me lost control?'' He questions, wanting to know.

''I hope you know, even when I am in control, I still kill. I enjoy it too. I find it fun. I'm not going to lie and hide it from you. I'm a bad person, and you think I'm kind? You can still say I'm a kind person after me telling you that?''

He'd look at her completely seriously, he wanted her to at least know that if she really wholeheartedly thought he was kind. If she can still say he was kind even after finding that out, then... well... he'll think she was crazy. But he'd probably like her even more because of that.

#IC. Kamui #| Kamui x Namida | She Lights Up The Darkness In My Life | jiraipink |#( he's like: ?????????? me kind??? nO )#( he has to be mean awful intimidating >:(((( he gotta make sure his image isn't ruined u know )#( LMAO )#( he's such a loser i'm sorry )

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ode-to-spring · 2 years

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hello!! ive seen a lot about the recent discourse on sumeru and all it's characters, most especially kusanali nowadays, and felt the need to clear some things up for my own peace of mind. though i should put a disclaimer that i'm in no way from any of the countries or cultures sumeru was originaly intended to represent, though i am a POC who knows what colorism, orientalism, and blatant lack of representation feels like. if anyone from the real cultures finds something wrong in whatever i say, please point it out and educate me so i can adjust! I might not be in a place to speak and have a very little platform, but I promise you, a few minutes of research and a little empathy can go a very long way.

cw for the topics i mentioned above (orientalism, colorism, subtle racism, etc etc.) very long discussion utc!

A common excuse I see people making for aspects of Kusanali's design (her skin color, her size, etc.) is that she's allegedly based off of Kusanali Jataka, from a Buddhist collection of poems as a fairy living in a clump of grass. This much is true, she very much is named after that, and the nature-esque inspiration matches up. However, that changes when many fans on tiktok, twitter, etc. have been claiming the original poem to mention that Kusanali Jataka had "skin as pale as the light of the moon."

This specific description pertains to an entirely different diety, one going all the way to Hinduism backgrounds. She who that quote was originally used for is known as Sarswati, the Hindu goddess of knowledge, wisdom, art, speech, music, aesthetics, and learning. For the record, here is what common portrayals of her look like, as well as the description of her appearance:

See? Sound familiar? To compare, here is what a portrayal of Kusanali Jataka looks like:

These two very separate dieties were definitely mixed up, most likely in a way to simply excuse how utterly far away the dendro archon looks from the real life people her country is meant to represent. Previously we've had Zhongli and Ei, a dragon accurate to real Chinese myths, and a samurai with cultural ties even to her name, her titles, and other various inspirations such as from the Vision Hunt Decree. Yunjin proves that Hoyoverse is capable of making accurate and in depth research of real life cultural aspects. Kusanali, however, has no obvious cultural background to her design except her name and perhaps the quote of "Let great and small." Other than that? You could've told me that she's just another kid from Mondstadt and I'd believe you entirely.

It's one thing to like a characters design, but another thing to entirely erase the problems there are with representation, among other things. The problem in her is not that she has a child model, it's that she, as Sumeru's archon, is meant to represent their whole country, but at the same time she has no indications of references to SWANA or ME culture what so ever.

To add onto that, the argument of "but im from this race and im pale" is not valid at all, because just because you or your family or friends are not, doesn't mean the rest of your people don't either. In my country, we were taught as kids to bathe with some kind of papaya whitening soap, not to stay in the sun too long or we'll get tanned, that we need go "stay indoors more to get whiter," and I'm sure this isn't only a problem in mine. The few times that the people of these underrepresented cultures get a chance at the spotlight, the very least Hoyoverse can do when they'll make truckloads of money from them either way is to do it right. They deserve that much.

Hoyoverse is a multi million dollar company that is perfectly capable of making designs that aren't stereotypical and all lightskin if not paper white. They honestly dug their own grave by making the exact mistake many have made before when it comes to representation specifically in these regions, such as Aladdin, where they threw many different and diverse cultures together and thought it would end up nicely without either five different things happening at once, or an entirely whitewashed version of everything. They should not be able to cherrypick and make money out of whatever bits of these cultures they want only to leave out the outward appearances of the people that they belong to. That is colorism.

I am making this post to at least try to raise awareness on the misinformation going around about Kusanali, as well as shed light on how condescending all the pale and at most light brown characters feel as a POC. That said, however, I can't speak for the people from South Asia/North Africa/Middle East on this issue, and therefore if you have time I'm *begging* you to listen to what they have to say. If you're from those cultures and don't have any problems with Sumeru, thats okay! But it doesn't mean that everyone else doesn't either. If you're white or from a different culture and are therefore unaffected by all of this? If you want to ignore, don't say a word. Don't shut the voices of the POC that should be in the spotlight in the first place. But if you want to help? Do your research. Uplift the voices of those who are affected. Listen to what they have to say. Orientalism and colorism aren't easy topics to be brushed off easily, and they have every right to be reacting in opposition to what Hoyoverse currently has to offer.

If you're interested in what I've just mentioned, here are a few links I've found of people from these cultures that you should consider checking out ::

https://twitter.com/dorobor1/status/1553151372308135938?t=QfJI9jXKDVvPO86eqGgyGw&s=19

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSR2pcbVC/?k=1

https://twitter.com/dailynahida/status/1538609206621790209?t=JRPUQ5Z8kn_nJJ2McShbag&s=19

https://twitter.com/Altochameleon/status/1553623114650509313?t=nDhSJyZ167HqP_eR4byqEg&s=19

And many more! So many SWANA & ME people are speaking up about this but get drowned out in all the arguing when they are the ones in the right. The goal isn't to speak over them, it's to let their words be heard. So please, stop the unnecessary ignorance and disrespect in every aspect of all that's going on with the discourse going around about this topic. It isn't hard to be respectful, it isn't hard to research, it isn't hard to be decent human beings.

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSR2pT61E/?k=1

https://twitter.com/Bitanees/status/1562903344553013252?t=CyBbIxBG3IFGWM98bZYADw&s=19

#genshin impact #genshin impact sumeru #genshin sumeru #genshin kusanali #genshin impact kusanali #genshin nahida #genshin impact nahida #genshin tighnari #genshin impact tighnari #genshin cyno #genshin impact cyno #genshin dehya #genshin impacy dehya #genshin nilou #genshin impact nilou

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asoulsreverie · 2 years

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Brighten Up

tasm!Peter Parker × fem!reader

Word Count: 1.1 k

Summary: Peter comes to you after a bad day

Genre: hurt/comfort, angst, fluff

Warnings: established relationship, nicknames (if that counts), no use of y/n, reader identifies as a girl (she/her), both Peter and you are in college (early twenties), mentions of dead characters, mentions of injury but no blood, there is crying and angst, reader comforts Pete

Above image was originally posted by @petpacks

Reblogs appreciated

A/N: This is my first fic! I'm taking a leap of faith and posting it. Please be kind with your words. I hope you like it :) (I have tried to keep errors to a minimum)

I would also like to thank @luveline, you inspired me to write!

Please do not copy my work or translate them to any other languages. Please do not repost on any platforms.

Masterlist Peter Parker Masterlist

You've just finished making dinner when you hear the soft knocking on the window. You wiped your hands on the kitchen towel, a slight smile on your lips as you were looking forward to a night with your boyfriend.

After 6 months of dating, even before you knew Peter was Spider-Man, he had made it a point for either of you to spend Saturday evenings at the other's house- whether it was a simple movie or just dinner, he wanted at least one day a week of holding you close. It was something both of you looked forward to.

Once you found out about his crime fighting alias, he came to you after patrol whenever he was nearby, making sure not to be followed.

The window slides open as you walk towards it, Peter in his Spider-Man suit climbing inside. He removes his mask, brown hair in a fluffy mess, and immediately embraces you.

"Hey love, everything ok? Are you hurt?" you asked, concerned at his action, your hand unconsciously moving to comb through his hair, something you did to calm him down when he was nervous. He says a muffled 'no', and you let out the breath you had been holding. Peter had come home injured many times and though he healed fast, you never wanted to see him hurt like that.

Your heart broke when you heard the sniffling noise that issued from your boyfriend, whose face was buried in the crook of your neck.

You slightly part from his arms so that you can look at him. You place your hand against his cheeks and turn his head towards your face. He leans into your touch, forehead resting against yours. His eyes are moist; tears brimming them, threatening to fall.

You slowly guide him towards the bed, both sitting down on it. You don't push him to tell you anything, and he is thankful. Having to fight crime is hard, especially when he is just a college student, still figuring out his life. He already feels better now, with you holding him close.

He tries to keep his tears back, but he knows even if he does cry, you would never judge him. He had cried the day he told you about his family- his parents, Uncle Ben, and Gwen. You accepted it all- everything about him. You have supported him in every decision he has taken.

"Bad day" he says after a while of silence. You look into his brown eyes, the same ones that have an amused glint when he tells you something funny, the ones that gleam with excitement when he explains some science thing to you, the ones that have gazed adoringly into yours so many times. Today they are sad, but they still have their shine. The fire in them is still there- the same fire that makes him help the people of the city so selflessly. You wipe the few tears that manage to fall.

"First I was late to my test because some villain decided it was a nice time to attack the zoo, and he managed to get away. Then I miss out on the last few questions on my test. The manager of my part time job told me to do something, that I messed up and got scolded for. Then there's a robbery in a bank and one of the robbers gets away- and I- I just I couldn't help them and-"

His voice cracks in the end and he lets out a heart wrenching sob, and you carefully pull him into your chest." shh... It's ok Love.. " you cooed, rubbing his back gently. It's better for him to let it out."It's alright..." you continued to talk to him in quiet, comforting whispers until he calmed down enough to talk.

He knew it was somewhat of an overreaction, but it had been hard for him, the last few weeks he had been stressed at school and had gotten less sleep than usual.

Peter was always afraid that he would not be able to help everyone. Though today no one had gotten injured, he knew he wasn't at his best, and that scared him. That he could not reach them in time. Not able to save them…. Just like he couldn't save Gwen.

"None of it is your fault, ok? We can't help everyone, in the end we're just human Peter." you said, continuing to hold him so he knew you were with him.

"You help people because you want to. And that's the best thing we can do. Want to do something for change." you said, he nodded slightly, but he was still doubting, from how his body was slightly stiff against yours.

"Peter, you are the best person I've ever met. You've done so much for the people. You have helped in every way you can to make the city safer. And I'm so proud of you for who you are." you kissed him on the forehead and tilted his head towards your face, making sure he looked in your eyes before you continued. "With and without the mask. Because with the mask you are Spider-Man. Brave. Selfless. The hero every logical person appreciates and loves" Peter laughed a little at the last statement, his mind going to Jameson.

"And without the mask," you continued " You are Peter Parker. Kind. Gentle. Nerdy. The light of my life" you said, looking deeply in his doe eyes- it amazed you how fast you could get lost in them. "So never feel bad for something you did or couldn't do ok? Because I know for a fact anyone who says or even thinks anything bad about you will have to go through your girlfriend, and I've heard she can be pretty wild if something like that comes to her notice"

Peter genuinely smiles at that "Really?" he asks, looking up at you "I've not seen your wild side that much."

"That's because you've been on my good side" you answered, hand moving his hair out of his eyes. " And you'll be as long as you're nice to yourself Pete. I couldn't think what I'd do without you by my side"

"I will bug" he says, bringing his forehead to yours as your arms wrap around his neck, your lips brushing lightly against his.

"I love you" it's not a new confession. He knows you do and have been for the last 2 years, but it warms his heart as if it's the first everytime you say it. He brings his hands up to your face, thumb gentle as it brushes against your lower lip.

"I love you more" he says before closing the distance to kiss you sweetly.

You both bask in the comfortable silence that surrounds you, until you tell him to eat dinner with you.

You were the light to every darkness that he had in his life and there was nothing you couldn't brighten up.

Asks and requests are open!

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callivich · 2 years

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Gallavich Academic AU Prompts ✏️📝💻🗒

Prompts for fics, headcanons, or discussion, art, etc. Interpret these however you like and feel free to use them as just a jumping off point, you don’t have to stick to the exact prompt! If any fics like any of these have already been written, please feel free to recommend them to me!

Dedicated to @zutaralesbian who suggested the idea and @metalheadmickey & @tectonicduck for answering all my questions and for all the help! (Any errors are my own!)

Ian had been looking forward to making friends with his roommate at college. He’d imagined them going through their first year together. But he might as well be living alone because he never sees this guy - apart from him being dead asleep when Ian wakes early in the morning or him sneaking into their room just as Ian is falling asleep. He hasn’t even introduced himself. Ian only knows his name is Mikhailo from the forms that came with their room. He’s a mystery. A frustrating mystery that Ian is becoming a little bit obsessed with.

Mickey had built it up so much in his head that when he finally comes out in his thirties, it’s not scary - it’s just a relief. But he feels out of place at the local gay clubs and is resigning himself to a life alone when Mandy signs him up for an evening LGBTQ+ art course. He’s nervous but he goes because at least he can try making art which is something he’s always wanted to do. It’s just his luck that he’s stuck sitting next to a dorky redhead who has no interest in art and is only taking the course because his co-workers bought it for him as a present. He wants to “have fun” and “make friends” - his words - and that sounds like it’s going to ruin Mickey’s enjoyment. Of course, he’s wrong….

Ian’s housing falls through last minute and so, along with being a new professor at a new college, he’s also got nowhere to live. It’s really not the kind of stress he needs. He’s about to put a message on the online staff platform/database asking for help, when he sees a message that was posted recently: “roommate wanted: needs to be clean and not annoying. no PHD students - just because you are doing a bit of teaching on the side doesn’t mean you are staff. two bed/two bath apartment, kitchen/living area. if you are a lecturer who likes to host student evenings you cant do it here - go to a bar. no parties of any kind. contact - Prof. Milkovich.”

Ian is recently out of the army. He’s struggling with adjusting to normal life, when he learns that Vets have their tuition waved he decides to enrol in college. But he finds it hard to fit in with most of the class. That is, most of them, apart from the loner who sits at the back of the class, rumour has it he just got out of prison…..

It’s distracting at first - that the person before Ian has written so many notes in this library copy of the book he needs to read - but then he starts to enjoy reading the snarky comments this person has left. To the point where he really wants to meet this person he hopes is a guy. And what do you know, when he looks up the previous person who checked out the book - it’s someone called Mikhailo Milkovich and he’s in the year above. Is it weird if he tracks down this guy and tells him he liked is comments? Probably. But Ian’s going to do it anyway.

Mickey has managed to go five whole years without sharing an office with any other professors. His rude personality and messy desk is enough to scare off everyone. But then a new professor arrives, Ian Gallagher, and instead of doing what everyone else did - get mad and complain about Mickey - he tries to be his friend. And Mickey absolutely cannot have that, his office is his private haven and he won’t have this annoying fucker encroaching on his space. Ian meanwhile has heard all the gossip about Mickey and isn’t about to be put off by a bit of mess and some swearing.

Team project. The term fills Ian with fear. He doesn’t want to rely on a randomly selected partner for 50% of his grade. Especially when he’s matched with someone he’s never even seen in the class. Who the fuck is Mikhailo Milkovich? Ian just knows he’s going to end up doing all the work and presenting the project alone. Still, it doesn’t stop him tracking down this Mikhailo to see if they can work together.

Mickey is on the run from a couple of cops, so when he sees the entrance to the university campus it seems like an obvious place to hide. That’s how he finds himself blending into the crowd entering a lecture hall. He casually sits down and tries to look inconspicuous. But then the lecturer asks everyone to pair up for a project and the redhead next to him, asks him if they can work together. He says that his dorm is right near the lecture hall and they can study there. As Mickey still needs to lay low, he agrees and finds himself accidentally working on a college project with a very attractive guy called Ian.

When another teacher gets sick, Mickey is ordered to step in for the weekend social studies/geography field trip. Which is fucked because that’s not even his subject. And that is definitely not how Mickey wants to spend his free time. Looking after a bunch of hormonal teenagers and sharing a shitty motel room with the new teacher is about as bad a weekend as he can imagine. Of course things get worse - they get snowed in and he’s pretty sure the kids are gossiping about him and the other teacher, Ian…..

It’s a stupid exercise, as far as Mickey’s concerned - every student is given another student’s paper and they have to read it and give it a grade. It’s all anonymous, no one knows who graded the papers and no one knows who wrote the papers. It just sounds like the professor just wants to do less work. Then he reads the paper - it’s a short story about a poor, closeted gay kid on the South Side coming out to his supportive family. And minus the supportive family part and the coming out part, it hits uncomfortably close to home. He becomes obsessed with finding out who wrote this paper.

College is hard. Much harder than Ian had anticipated. And he’s struggling to study for all his exams. Which is why he might have snuck a tiny glance at the paper of the guy next to him in his math final. He feels terrible and guilty, but it was only one question and at least no one knows but him, right? Wrong. Turns out the guy, Mickey, not only knows Ian cheated off him but has decided to confront Ian about it.

Mickey probably should have checked the time but, for once, he found himself on a roll - easily writing a paper for a class that he’d usually found really difficult. Ian was in a similar situation, ignoring checking the time in order to finish a paper that was worth half his grade. Which is how they end up locked in the college library. It’s kinda romantic, Ian thinks. Two strangers, a quiet library, nothing but the moonlight streaming through the windows. I mean, sure, they’re trapped and they have no food but maybe this counts as a meet-cute? At least, that’s what he’s thinking until the other guy tells him that they should throw a chair through the window to get out. Ok, less romance and more violence - Ian can work with that.

Ian, head of the LGBTQ+ club at his college, decides to run for student council. He’s running unopposed until some of the video game club members nominate someone from their club. Possibly as a joke, it’s not clear. Either way, this Mickey Milkovich guy is running and his platform just seems to be “do the opposite of this Gallagher guy and free weed for everyone”. Ian is seriously trying to run and he’s not going to be outdone by somebody who doesn’t care about any of the issues. Mickey, meanwhile, is kind of loving pissing off the hot redhead who’s running against him.

Trust Ian to turn up to his first lecture without a pen to take notes. He’d spent hours going through everything he’d need and still managed to forget a fuckin’ pen of all things. He feels so embarrassed asking the guy next to him for a spare one and even more embarrassed when he walks out afterwards with it by accident. But he can’t help but smile when the next lecture rolls around and the same guy just hands him a pen, one eyebrow raised, and says “name’s Mickey, by the way….just in case you needed to know, if you’re gonna keep stealing my pens.” Ian’s immediately smitten.

Mickey doesn’t know why he does it. Really, he doesn’t. But when the hot redhead who is clearly also from the South Side suddenly disappears for weeks, he finds himself asking around for the guy’s name and then, with some detective work/bribery, finding out Ian’s family home address. He delivers the class notes he’s made to Ian’s family house with a note saying he hopes that whatever has happened, Ian won’t miss out on college. Ian is touched that, when he recovers from a depressive episode, an anonymous person has not only taken extensive notes for him but also delivered them to his house. He needs to know who this person is.

Ian and Mickey are the only two scholarship students for their year. Usually there are a few more so the college has an already successfully program dedicated to making the scholarship students feel welcome. Which would be fun (probably…..maybe….) if there were more than two people. But since there are only two of them…..all the ‘activities’ seem like dates.

#gallavich #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #ian x mickey #mickey x ian #prompts

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sasha-on-the-side · 4 months

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Tag Meme

Thank you for the tag, @banachtarskiparadox! I don't do these memes often bc a lot of them make me go "and why do you want to know this about me?" but I'm always up for screaming about some of my favourite pieces of media!

A scent you love:

Grapefruit. My current signature is Zara Vetiver Pamplemousse layered with Kerosene Summer of '84.

Something you're looking forward to this week:

Been watching Arcane with some of my besties who haven't seen it, and we need to go through the last three episodes.

A book you are currently reading:

I've been AWFUL at reading books as an adult ;_; I've had This Is How You Lose the Time War, Gideon the Ninth, and TAZ graphic novel (The 11th Hour, my favourite arc) sitting on my bedside table since summer and I've barely made a dent in the former. I need to get to them sometime soon.

A game you're currently playing:

I've been on a bit of a gaming tear lately and got through some really good indie titles!

Outer Wilds - the game I beat and then made everyone I know play it too because I needed someone to talk to about it. This is one of those games that everyone reccs as "don't look up anything about it just play it blind trust me" and I find it to be a bit unfair to people who are not into certain types of gameplay, so I'm gonna recommend it to you in a way that's equally honest and non-spoilery:

It's a space exploration game in which you are a budding astronaut setting off on your first journey in your small solar system. It's entirely non-linear and you are welcome to craft your own path in visiting several distinct planets and other celestial bodies, while trying to uncover the mysteries of a civilisation that inhabited the system before you, through collecting pieces of written lore. You have to fly a ship to get to places, and while it takes some getting used to, it is very intuitive. And, if you like time loops, this game has one. If any of what I said sounds attractive to you, I implore you to play it, it is quite genuinely life- and/or game-changing.

American Arcadia - it's The Truman Show meets Severance meets Defunctland: the game. A 2.5D runner/puzzle game with a neat 70s aesthetic and a story that takes a pleasantly unique direction.

Chants of Sennaar - a game about being an interpreter in what is essentially the tower of Babel. It's a really novel but well-executed concept that doesn't get old during the course of the game and makes up for a (imo) rather basic storyline. It's the kind of game that has you take notes as you go, except the note-taking mechanic is already build into it.

Cocoon - a very neat puzzle game with a lovely art style and inception-like mechanics that may leave you stumped for a minute or to but then make you feel like a genius when you finally solve the puzzle.

Night in the Woods - a story-heavy game about coming of age with light puzzle, platformer, and rhythm game elements, fantastic dialogue and the most charming art style and animation.

All of the above titles also have great soundtracks, OW and NitW especially.

The most recent movie you watched:

Oh man, I don't watch that many movies. It has to be The Killer, which was remarkable in its mediocrity. It's fun as you get through it, and then it ends and makes you go "wait that's it?"

A show you've been watching or listening to:

Now here I can recc you some good ones! I got really into Taskmaster this past year and have been watching the New Zealand version, after being a bit reluctant to get into it. Fortunately it's just as funny as the UK version, it its own "man, they get wild on kiwi tv" way.

Another show I really liked lately was Culprits! Heist is my favourite genre of media, and this show delivered on the "someone in the crew is a traitor" storyline and then some. It also has a diverse cast, with a queer black lead, and a lovely wrap to the fist season that won't leave you without answers should it suffer...you know, that thing that happens to all shows these days.

I will also take an opportunity to plug Dungeons and Daddies*, a rowdy, horny, violent podcast for grown-ups, and my favourite audio show for the fourth year and counting. It's a real play podcast that's light on the rules and heavy on "yes and", and in its first season tackles issues of toxic masculinity, generational trauma, and what it means to be a father. If you liked TAZ Balance, give it a try.

*Not a BDSM podcast. Occasionally a BDSM podcast.

Your favourite season:

Early summer. The night air in my hometown has a scent I wish I could bottle up and put as the first answer instead.

Something you've learned recently:

Whatever it is I did, I have forgotten it by now.

Have you had any water recently?

Just now, to wash down my meds (this is your reminder to take yours.)

Tagging @canonicallyshort @orangeykay @joybones and YOU!

#personal

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yourtoradorasextendedwarranty · 8 months

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Communication is Nuanced

So I've been seeing less traffic than usual, likely because I tend to post very doomer stuff. Or rather, stuff that makes people feel very doomer.

As such here's a topic that's less such and also kind of important for people to understand.

So above are the types of communication in general when it comes to verbal communication. Now something that tends to go hand in hand with is Nonverbal communication which can be seen with examples below.

Now why am I talking about this? Well fact is, These are the two most prominent forms of communication as they are often the best forms of communication. Reason being is because we transmit a lot of information through nonverbal means more often than not. It's one of the reasons that sarcasm is easier to notice when it's verbalized and you, or when you can see the person. It's normally communicated by an eyeroll or a shrug or even through vocal inflection.

Which brings me to Tumblr and other forms of social media. Most platforms like this one have one very huge issue. Purely as a matter of the technology, we communicate through written text or emojis or in some cases we do both. We do this as a means to imitate nonverbal communications like gestures, facial expressions, etc. Though in truth they do not have the same fundamental impact as actually seeing the nonverbal forms of communication in real time. Something simple like an eyebrow raise during a conversation can have a different meaning depending on where in the conversation it takes place.

However, in text, most people have to guess when it takes place even assuming you send an emoji to imitate it. As such, when communicating with people online, it's very important to do your best to loosely understand what is trying to be said, and ask questions if you do not fully grasp what is being said, or if you think that they could potentially mean something else.

I think one of the reasons that political and social discourse is so bad honestly is that people have gotten so used to communicating online that they have lost the ability to see nuance. Moreover, they have lost the understandings of nonverbal communication along the way with it. Now a days sarcasm isn't seen so much for what it is, so much as often it's seen as an attack.

Hand gestures, even common ones with very trivial meanings are not taken out of context of what they used to mean. Even so much as a shrug now, which was the universal "I don't know" or "It can't be helped" is misunderstood by people frequently. Language used to have a level of normalcy to it. Verbal and Nonverbal communication didn't often stray from it's original meaning, even when slang was involved.

Long story short, language and meanings are important. And asking honest questions not with spite or anger, but asking questions with the want of understanding seems to be a lost art. It's not bad to ask questions. And often times you should. Not everyone is good and conversing with others. Some excel at verbal, some excel at text based, some excel at nonverbal. Communication is how we live, thrive and survive as a species. And we need to stop warping and changing language to suit the wants of small population groups. Especially when that change alienates the other 90%+.

We as people need to start doing our best to actually learn proper communication, and start realizing that of the varying forms of it, written is the hardest to get your meaning across with. As such, we need to learn the nuances of it, and start learning to ask questions, and talk to people before we make the worst assessments. Mind you, take this all with a grain of salt. Some things can be extrapolated from and understood without deeper understanding, but we will not always know when that is the case.

As and example. I was sending out a tweet to someone asking if the camera on the new iPhone was worth upgrading for. However while thinking out everything in my head, I typed out, "At that point, just aim for a mid end newer camera", when in my head what I was thinking was, "Most newer phones are not worth upgrading for in general especially if you are on the prior model. Cameras especially are not making leap and bound upgrades that make the prices worth it. So if you would WANT to upgrade for the use of a better camera, you should just get a camera."

As you can tell. Those two things when held side by side are the same in meaning. However, the first with out the second, ends up getting the response I got which was, "I was asking a question about a phone". Which I could grasp was probably an annoyed response. But I have no one to blame buy myself for not actually putting into words what I was trying to express. And that's a thing that I myself need to also work on in regards to communication.

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vespersposts · 2 years

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Flawless

Hi lovelies💛,

the second issue of the 'Housewarming' series pays tribute to my Gemini king brother Ryota☀️, due to a kind request which I am happy to comply with (because i love you and you deserve all).

Don't tell Aominecchi, but how adorable is Kise? 😇💝

Not to mention how talented he is!

Is there anything he's not good at?

For this story I was inspired by a misadventure that happened to yours truly, which ended in a much less amusing way, alas! 🤦‍♀️

📮Comments, criticism, sharing and like are so appreciated!📮

Follow the #knbhousewarming or #housewarmingbyvesper to find all the entries, or just ask for a tag I'd be glad to add you.

Who's gonna be next? (🎎hint: He's charming, polite, a true prince. If it's the right one obvs).

Thanks to the lovely reader that Dm me to request it, hope you'll find it interesting.

Love always,

💋PS: If any of you amazing authors would like to contribute with original work to this series, that would be a dream for me. Please send me the link and tag me so I won't miss any stories, and use the #knbhousewarming , as the platform sometimes gets crazy.

💣PPS: I apologize in advance for any grammatical and/or spelling mistakes, English is not my first language (bear with me!).

➿Genre: fluff, slice of life, one shot.

🏡 Housewarming Masterlist🏡

Ota district, Tokyo.

Wednesday 2.10 p.m. (ET+13)

A sunny May afternoon.

Your life had changed, since he had moved into the small family-run apartment building complex you had always called home.

Your friends and acquaintances couldn't wait to plan evenings at your place, found any excuse to come and say hello at odd hours, and had become as affectionate as awkward, since that blond angel had taken up residence in the flat above yours.

After all, you and your ordinary life could never have had the same attractiveness as the dazzling light his name implies.

Ryota Kise was not only a nationally renowned athlete, but had been a famous model, until he had left droves of whimpering admirers at the announcement of his retirement from the scene, to focus on his aviation career.

How could anyone be so flawless?

Where was the blemish in that blaze of perfection?

Being self-loathing, you thought to yourself, until the evening of the condo meeting came, he showed up smiling and polite, bringing treats and delicious food for everyone, amiably talking to people and dispensing smiles and thanks for the warm welcome.

Needless to say, the jewelled ladies of your floor were already doting on him, feeling a lethal mix of maternal affection and adolescent crush, by which they were reporting you his every move in detail, especially those involving the female sex; perhaps forgetting that you could hear who was in the newcomer's house, just by sitting at the kitchen table for lunch.

In the six weeks leading up to that day, however, the idol of the building had led a particularly boring life, punctuated by intense work shifts and moderate physical activity, that allowed you to meet him casually in the building's lobby, and just as casually exchange small kindnesses and superficial remarks.

No romantic nights, no suspicious movements, as confirmed even by the ladies on the first floor. The only exception is that random Saturday a month, when his flat would turn into the den of basketball fanatics. Before your eyes parade a row of top-tier hunks, his friends, who just like him, were unaware of the jolt of lust they were giving the whole building.

On the other hand, your friends competed to guess on which Saturday that masculine display of wonder would appear, the jewelled ladies booked hairdressers and freshened up their most flamboyant outfits, so as not to be outdone.

And then there was you, who as ever, didn't know what to do.

"Are you stupid? Take those ten steps and ask them for sugar and offer him everything!" was the solution that was repeated to you over and over again, like the refrain of a bad summer song.

A song you didn't even know how to play.

Ryota sighed, because it always ended like this.

"Come on man, you know I only get 10 days off a month!" he snorted, because Daiki may have become an adult, but he still has the same urge to torment him, that he had in Teiko days. "What do you want in return? A dinner at Hatsune Sushi? A date with a hostess?" he huffs, trying to convince him to join for a one-on-one over the weekend.

He looked at the laundry basket and while listening to his pal's bitching, decided to throw some stuff in the washing machine. He adds the soap that slips out of his hands, but it doesn't matter, he likes his clothes soft and scented .

He pressed the start button and was ready to process that wacky request.

"WHAT? My flatmate neighbour? I know she's hella cute, but how am I supposed to introduce her to you, if she barely says hello to me?" he asks, catching his friend's cheeky laugh in response.

He gives in, because he's too tired to lose any more precious minutes of sleep, says goodbye to his mate, and heading for the bedroom, quickly undresses and throws himself in his underwear on his very soft bed, with its fresh crisp cotton sheets, cuddled by the warm light filtering through the window.

He sinks his face into the pillow and smiles, because Aominecchi is always the same jerk, but he has good taste, indeed. Too bad, you were such a difficult aim to achieve, even for small talking.

In those few chance encounters on the common stairs, you always declined his help, even when the shopping bags were obviously too heavy for you. Maybe it was your way of telling him to keep his distance, maybe you saw something in him that turned you off, maybe....

He huffs and turns on his back.

He looks up at the ceiling, at the light grey wall and at his cacti collection, waving happily at him from their sunny shelf by the window, and he begins to wonder.

He wonders if you like cacti.

He wonders what type you are, actually.

All he knew was that he was incredibly attracted to you, to that slightly wistful air, and to your gracefulness in moving your little body. He loved to watch the sway of your hips, as he followed you up the stairs, but somehow he felt he needed to know more, much more about you.

What you like to sing in the shower, what you like to talk about, if you would like to sleep in someone's arms, because he would like to be that someone so badly.

You are physically under his feet and yet he is the one who feels crushed.

And now Daiki comes along with his teasing demand.

He closes his eyes and tells himself that he will find a solution later, because now he's really too drowsy, and the sound of the washing machine in the background, with its monotonous rhythm, takes him to dreamland.

You take a sip of coffee, you're drinking it down because you don't feel like going back to those damn accounting sheets. Columns of numbers, fees for which your clients will complain and you will obviously have to put on a good face.

But there is something else that bothers you.

A background noise, low but constant, like a ticking clock that loses its rhythm, a noise that you have never heard before, and that probably doesn't even exist.

You get up and go to the bathroom to freshen up your face, you look in the mirror and from the reflected image you see that something is wrong. From the ceiling a large damp cloud is causing a trickle of water to drip down the wall, which has already become a puddle on the floor tiles. You close your eyes, rub them with your hand and open them again, because it might be all a fantasy, but unfortunately the image does not change. You rush out of the bathroom, out of your apartment, run up the stairs and ring his doorbell, but no one answers.

You knock hard against the dark wood until your knuckles ache, and after a few seconds the door opens and you find yourself in front of the most handsome man you have ever seen, dressed only in his underwear, with an expression resulting from a deep sleep that has been interrupted by your urgency.

"What's going on?" he tells you in a semi aware state, dragging out the words, his voice hoarse from sleep sends your imagination into overdrive. You look straight at his fuzzy, sultry, deep eyes trying to ignore his broad shoulders, his perfect collarbones, his sculpted pectorals from which, like a road to paradise, the gaze is taken to his tight abdomen. He’s wrinkling his hair and then brings the same hand to his sculpted tummy casually, as snaps you a puzzled look, while with the other hand he opens fully the front door, in a silent invitation to enter.

"The bathroom " you stammer, blushing wildly as he turns his delicious back , showing you his whole powerful frame . You follow him inside that house full of light and plants, where the dark tones of the rough wood match the light grey tones of the walls and the touches of green of the foliage.

"Sure, you can use the bathroom " he smiles at you, oblivious to the fact that he is half naked and you are dressed in a pair of ridiculous house shorts and a T-shirt full of stars and hearts, that you yourself painted in junior high.

"I don't have to use it, but..." you try not to choke, thanking your lucky stars when you see him retrieve a white T-shirt from a chaise longue in the room he led you to, and put it on by sliding it elegantly over his shoulders.

"I don't think I understand " he tells you, shifting his attention to the most significant detail of the bathroom.

Foam, lots of foam.

A sea of foam and water everywhere, now that all the warning lights of the washing machine are on and flashing like bat-signals in the eternal night of Gotham City.

"Geez, now I see!" he continues, walking past you and recommend to move to his bedroom, worried that you might get wet and dirty. All done with that wonderful smile of his, which immediately puts you at ease and makes you catch the funniest part of that paradoxical situation. He stands tall and handsome, studying what needs to be done, biting his lower lip, not looking particularly worried or concerned.

"I can fly a plane but apparently I can't do laundry!" he mocks himself, beckoning you to the threshold of the room.

"All that perfection was just too much" you agree, smiling sweetly at him, and when he looks at you with his golden eyes, you feel that your heart is unlikely to belong to you again any soon.

He laughs, laughs like a child, as he dips his feet into that disaster and retrieves all the towels he has from the bathroom wardrobe, reaching towards the appliance and almost losing his balance, so much so, that you rush to his rescue, preventing him from a hard fall.

You find yourself huddled in the middle of that disaster, unsteady on your own feet, indifferent to the fact that someone should turn off that monster that keeps on regurgitating foam. It's just too bad that you start to like that situation, perhaps because pressed against him, with his strong arms around your waist, his snow-white skin and his eyes in yours, Ryota becomes more and more attractive.

"There's only one bright side to this whole thing " he informs you softly, bringing his long fingers to the nape of your neck to play slowly with your hair.

"That our baths will smell of Marseille soap for eternity?" you try to downplay, but he has such a tender expression on his face that you can't help but tremble, as he brings you closer to him, to confide a secret in your ear.

"You can't run away. This time I'm gonna get your attention, finally!" he whispers, leaving a kiss on your temple and then reaching out to do the same on your face, closing his soft and warm lips on yours.

In the midst of a sea of foam and water, lulled by the red lights of the washing machine's warning lights, you had never been so grateful that this blond angel , who had taken up residence in the flat above yours and had in a short time become the idol of the entire building, wasn’t flawless at all.

#housewarmingbyvesper #knbhousewarming #knb #kuroko no basket #knb x reader #kise ryōta #knb kise #kise ryouta #kiseki no sedai #knb oneshot #knbsliceoflife #kisefluff #ryotakisefluff #vesperfairytales #vesperwrites #vesperdreams

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twdmusicboxmystery · 1 year

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TWD 11x22: Analysis, Part 3 - Peter, Passover, RxR Spikes

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Tbh, I’m not sure we’ve entirely nailed down the point of the Peter symbolism. Beth clearly isn’t Peter. She’s Christ. So why go out of their to add in Peter symbolism? Of course Edwards = Peter. This is has been discussed extensively in the past, but him having Beth kill Trevitt was a betrayal, especially when he claimed he didn’t do it, so that was the equivalent of Peter denying Christ. But if they went out of their way to put it into Slabtown, you know there will be an equivalent when Beth returns.

So, as you mentioned above, the idea of them going to the Louvre in the spinoff is interesting and I’m sure it will have at least some symbolic relevance here, if not literal.

All your words about the 22 and the 12 made me think about them a bit differently than I have before. We’ve always said 22 was related to the return/Sirius stuff, and I’m sure that’s still true. But more specifically, I kinda feel like 22 is symbolic of something negative. Maybe the negative side of things. Shane wore the 22 necklace, and while he was friends with Rick, he was also the epitome of everything we don’t want our characters to be. He displayed cowardice, selfishness, deviousness, lack of loyalty, etc.

In terms of situations, it’s clear from some of your pics (the Grady cop car, the sailboat with Michonne) that they represent Grady/the CRM, which are kind of the ultimate Bad Situation where things go wrong. Hence 22 = bad side of things. Perhaps the A side, which is the bad side, where in the B side Beth will live and things will be put right. Just spit balling here, of course.

Now, they’re calling Alexandria Outpost 22. It went from a free, loving place to one of violence and slavery under the CW. (Even though now Daryl and co have essentially liberated it.) You mentioned the two episodes that were number 22. In each, the person (Negan) either lost someone (Lucille) or became a sacrifice. But both times, he was becoming a better person. After Lucille, he went and helped some people who needed it. And of course, after Here’s Negan, he became Negan of the Saviors, which was a negative thing. But you could also see that as his first time through. His A side. The first time, he did something negative with it. This time, he won’t.

I really love the stuff about the railroad spikes being indicative of crucifixion. That makes a lot of sense, and I know with Daryl and Leah, we saw three of them pounded into a tree not far from her cabin. But it also makes me want to go back and re-analyze how they might have been functioning in each instance.

Weirdly specific question: did we ever see Leah in the same shot with the RxR spikes? They’re entangled with her either way, since it was her cabin and her storyline, but we also know she’s a proxy for Beth. So, just wondering if we ever saw her in the same shot with them? Anyone remember?

Empty tomb/empty trunk/empty chair.

I really love these phrases, both as images and also for what they mean in both a religious and fiction sense. I sat and thought about this for a while and had a bit of an epiphany, but it’s very nerdy and meandering.

I was thinking about these symbols and something I heard a long time ago in some Sunday class or other. I don’t remember the exact wording or who said it, so I’m definitely paraphrasing. But it was something along the lines of, “the real symbol for the triumph of Easter was that of an empty tomb.” So, the idea is, how can something empty, or something not being there, be a triumph? It’s a little counterintuitive. But the answer is that what was supposed to be there was a dead body. And the fact that it wasn’t meant he’d been resurrected. So the empty tomb symbolized the miracle of resurrection and that life had triumphed over death. I always thought that was a cool way to think about it.

I know I mentioned this next part before, back when you first pointed out the chair on the train platform when Daryl and Carol and everyone was debating whether to take Pamela’s deal. In the Jewish religion, during Passover, they leave an open chair for Elijah, who is supposed to be a forerunner of Christ’s second coming. So, from a religious perspective, the chair definitely foreshadows a return of the person who was believed to be dead. I can’t help but wonder if we’re seeing them in this storyline to show that this arc is the forerunner of Beth’s return.

So, you also mentioned empty trunks. That put the image in my head of Maggie opening the trunk in 5x10 and seeing the Beth walker inside. And I had this thought that Maggie had not actually seen an empty trunk. She’d seen one that was full of death. And that REINFORCED her belief in Beth’s death.

Okay, so this is where I stray from TWD for a minute to nerd out. I’m a fiction coach. Meaning I teach others about writing great fiction. My teaching technique focuses on the internal conflict. Many people don’t understand (and I don’t include anyone here in that) that while plot and external story events are important (vital actually) the story itself is built on the internal character change.

My favorite definition of story comes from Vogler. “A story is a metaphor for a journey that leads to change.” So, the foundation of the story is the character change. The events in the plot are how that change is brought about. There’s a misguided belief that you keep the audience’s attention through high action. Like fight or car chase scenes. And while those are cool, it’s really the emotion of a scene that keeps the audience invested.

The audience doesn’t care that the cars are driving really fast. The reason they like the chase scene is because the hero is chasing the villain, who has kidnapped his wife and child, and he’s trying to get his family back. Sure, the adrenaline affects us too, but adrenaline alone won’t sustain a story. Without the internal or emotional, you end up with B action movies a la Van Damme or Steven Segal. (Sorry if anyone is a fan of those, but they’re known for being all action and no substance.) No one cared about Rocky Balboa’s boxing scenes because he can punch really good. They cared because he was fighting for his family, his way of life, and his self-respect. Incidentally, all things that can be said about Daryl. While he isn’t a boxer, he can still punch pretty good. ;D

ANYway. So, when I’m helping people figure out their stories, I tell them to craft a misguided belief for the character. And this can literally be anything. Just something they believe that isn’t true. So, it can be literal/external (I’m not strong enough to win that competition) or internal (I’m not worthy of love). It can be very generic (love conquers all) or very story specific (If I just provide for my family and mind my own business, the Capitol will leave me alone – Katniss Everdeen). You get the idea. Any belief, depending on the story you’re telling, that is negative, misguided, and disempowering.

Once they have the character’s misguided belief, the next thing they need to understand is that every event that happens in the plot will affect the character in one of two ways. It will either reinforce their misguided belief, or cast doubt on it. The character will waffle back and forth throughout the story, but overall, they cling to the belief mostly through the first half of the story, but really tend to move away from it and toward a higher truth in the second half. The character’s transformation is them letting go of that misguided belief and embracing the truth, which leads to a higher enlightenment and a better quality of life overall. This is the basic internal arc for all stories.

Okay, so what’s this got to do with the whole Maggie and Beth walker in the trunk situation? As I said, it suddenly occurred to me that Maggie seeing the Beth walker in the trunk is what she believes happened with Beth. So it was REINFORCING HER MISGUIDED BELIEF. And that’s when it all clicked for me. This is nothing we didn’t already know, but it’s another way to look at it that makes a lot of the stuff going on in 11c make a lot more sense from a story structure standpoint.

Gimple took this notion of the misguided belief, which is usually internal and about an individual person, and made it external and literal. The group, as a whole, has a misguided belief that Beth died in Coda. She didn’t, but they believe she did. It’s negative, misguided, and disempowering. Everything that happened in 5b—Maggie and the trunk, Daryl seeing the blond walker on the tree, the abusive dynamic between Pete and Jessie, which mirrored Grady—all reinforced TF’s misguided belief.

Which is that the world is brutal, people die, you can’t always save them except through extreme violence, and things are always going to be bleak. It’s very similar to what Hershel tried to teach Rick in 4a. The empowering truth is that we get to come back from the things we’ve done. But there are times when Rick has had the misguided belief that that isn’t true. And now that is literal as well, because Rick is physically gone, but he’s gonna get to come back.

Now, let’s talk about Daryl. (Cuz we always get there eventually, right? ;D) We didn’t see much dynamic change from Daryl between Coda and Rick’s departure. He was always sad, surly, and bleak, but not much more than that. He went through a rage phase and a few other things, but again, not much positive change. Logistically, I think that’s just because the writers wanted to go through most of the comic book stuff before bringing Beth back.

I was also thinking that it’s actually kind of weird that Daryl hung around. We know, from all the way back in S2 after Sophia, that Daryl tends to self-isolate when he’s wounded. Especially when he’s grieving. And given what Beth meant to him, it really would have been more in character to take off on his own.

Why didn’t he? In a word: Rick. In fact, that may have been the whole reason for the “you’re my brother” scene. (Well, other than establishing a sweet and loyal relationship between these two BFFS. ;D) To give Daryl a reason to hang around. And of course he still self-isolates in other ways. Going into the woods to “look for water” or leaving Alexandria to hunt, even when it’s not necessary. He emotionally withdraws, even if he physically stays. But of course, when he loses Rick, that’s when he physically leaves.

So, my point, I guess, is that everything between Coda and Rick’s departure in Daryl’s arc reinforced his negative beliefs. Ever since Carol brought him back to civilization a la Henry, Daryl has started to move away from those misguided beliefs and toward higher truths. That family and civilization are better than isolation. That even if it’s not perfect, things are still worth fighting for. That he can be a conscientious and thoughtful friend (ie Connie and Kelly). He’s come into his own in terms of leadership. He’s become a guardian and father figure to children. Etc. This is probably why he was okay with the CW and even willing to join their army. In past years, I don’t think he would have been open to that at all, but he’s changed. He’s willing to fight for something even if it’s not perfect.

I also think this is why we keep seeing him observing other romantic couples. Let’s talk about the romance angle. Because I think this might be the over-arching answer to why the Leah arc. There are lots of reasons we’ve discussed at length, but from a Daryl’s-character-development standpoint, this will explain it.

Daryl’s misguided belief when it comes to romance is that he is either unworthy or incapable of sustaining a fulfilling romantic relationship. Based on past-Daryl, it’s safe to say that if he engaged in a relationship, as he did with Leah, and it went south, as it did with her, he would throw up his hands and swear it off. Something like, “see? This is why I’m a loner. I can’t do romance.” He would then isolate himself, not from everyone necessarily but from romantic relationships in general.

And maybe that is what he did after Leah first took off. Because, in his mind, before he understood who Leah really was, he probably thought it was his fault; that he screwed it up by not choosing her.

That’s probably also why he went back and wrote her the note. None of us liked that because we didn’t like her and thought she was toxic, and we were right, but Daryl didn’t know that. He probably thought he needed to try harder and fight for the relationship. Which, if it’s a healthy relationship, is true. He was simply mistaken about it being a healthy relationship for him. And again, given the extent to which Leah misrepresented herself, that’s not entirely his fault.

But I think Daryl learning who Leah really was probably helped him gain back some confidence about what happened and his judgement of people. Clearly, he wasn’t the only one at fault there. When it came down to Maggie or Leah, he made a choice, didn’t hesitate, and wasn’t even really conflicted about it. That shows how much he’s grown. But my point is, he’s moving away from his misguided beliefs about himself and romance. And him observing other couples is part of that, I think. He sees others he respects not only willing to engage in relationships, though they might have doubts, but willing to fight for their own happiness. And that will greatly effect events when Beth returns.

Okay, sorry. Told you I was gonna geek out. The only other thing I wanted to mention goes hand in hand with this. It’s the A/B storyline stuff. And I’ve mentioned some of it before, but Carol keeps having dialogue that really jumps out at me.

In ep 21, she talks to Maggie about how if not for the Fall, they wouldn’t have known one another, but were forced to become family. She then says, “we’re not alone anymore and we’re going to figure this out.” (Paraphrasing.) That struck me as really significant. Even if you want to reach all the way back to S4 when we had the Alone episode, everyone ended up alone. Daryl was alone. Beth was taken to Grady alone. The rest of the group was in small pods, but they certainly weren’t together as a unified group.

And we’ve seen this other places on the show and talked about it a lot. The group has to be together in order to survive and make things work. Blair and Gina had to work together. All three communities had to work together to bring down Negan. Etc. But I wanted to specifically talk about the fact that Daryl says they can’t go get Connie. It will compromise the others, including the kids, that they are trying to get back. I can’t help but think that he’s thinking specifically about Beth there. He insisted on going into Grady to get her and Carol, and things went south.

So, I feel like he’s rebelling against his natural instinct here, which would be to go get Connie, because he’s afraid it will get her or others killed. But then, when Carol tells him to sit tight, he says he can’t do that. Despite his resolve to do the opposite of what he did in S5, he’s just not built that way. He can’t sit still when someone he cares about is in danger. Especially when they’re in the hands of an enemy who might hurt or exploit them. When the dying trooper says those marked as designation 2 are taken far away and never seen again, Daryl kinda freaks out. Of course it’s in that silent-urgency way he has, but he still kinda flips out.

Again, I can’t help but think that something in his head is screaming, “Beth! Beth was taken far away and never came back!” So naturally, he’s like, nope. Done with this shit! Outside, Rosita again says they can’t risk the troopers radioing ahead to warn the others they’re coming. D

Daryl argues that they can’t just leave Connie on the train. And then come the next line from Carol that demonstrates the theme: “I think there’s a way to do both.” So, we’ve always talked about how Rick’s plan at Grady was to go in with guns blazing. But Daryl was afraid of Beth or Carol getting hurt, so he talked Rick into the prisoner exchange. And of course, that REALLY didn’t go well either.

So, we’ve always thought maybe Rick’s first instinct, while it seems to be the riskier of the two, really would have been the better solution. But I don’t think that’s the case either. I think the point is that they have to have a little of both. They have to find a compromise that will work for everyone. Here, when they went to get Connie, guns were definitely used and they definitely had to kill people. But they also didn’t stand in front of the oncoming train and just start firing willy-nilly. There had to be a little of both. They had to be stealthy and minimize risk to themselves and their group, but they also had to use force where necessary.

I was thinking that at Grady, there was no show of force at all. Sure, they had prisoners to exchange, but clearly, they didn’t show enough force for Dawn to fear them. This is evidenced by her suddenly demanding Noah stay after the exchange was done. If they’d shown more force, maybe she wouldn’t have tried that because she’d have been too fearful of what they’d do.

Just throwing out some of my spinning thoughts on this. But we see this other places too. Blair and Gina come to mind again. They thought the solution was to let Gina go off by herself from the gas station, and they tried that. It didn’t’ work. They both still died and started the day over. So, if you think of Blair as A and Gina as B, it wasn’t an either/or situation that would lead to success. It was both. Which is exactly what Carol said. And I think the either/or IS the misguided belief we’re trying to get away from in the show as a whole. They need to learn to do both so everyone gets the happy ending they want.

You could argue this same thing with when Rick disappeared. Rick wanted to lead the walkers away. Daryl thought it was too risky and wanted Rick to come with him back to Alexandria. Rick led the walkers away, and it led to his disappearance. But I kind of think that if they’d gone with Daryl’s plan, maybe the walkers would have taken down the communities. So, it wasn’t either/or. They needed a little of both. But Rick went off on his own, ALONE, and then was taken, alone, to another place, just like Beth was.

Now, with this whole CW arc, we’re seeing the characters work together very seamlessly, and they’re having a lot of success. So anyway. I really will stop now. Thanks for coming to my TED talk. Forgive the nerdy ramblings of us fiction coaches. We’re a rare breed and often can’t help ourselves. 😊

@wdway:

I really enjoyed reading this. You know how I love long post that has a lot of meat to it. You asked above if anyone remembered seeing Leah in the same frame as any of the railroad spikes. For myself the answer is no. I can't remember ever seeing her and the spikes together. We only saw her at the front door from inside of the shack. For that matter in FM we never saw Daryl going into the shack using the front door except with Carol, years after Leah.

I did a hand palm to the face when I read where you wrote of Elijah and the empty chair at Passover. When Aaron (my son, not Moses brother)was little I and a friend did a Hebrew study for the elementary and middle school kids. For the Passover meal we actually cooked all the authentic foods, lamb and made unleavened bread. The kids made eat their meal using clay cups and plates that they made. I'm rambling, that was a little side tunnel, sorry.

So this fits so well into the railroad spikes because as I mentioned about the ones at Leah's shack door it reminded me of Passover and how blood was placed above the door.

Another episode with blood around the door was WHWGO Noah's front door. You know that silly old episode where we actually see Tyrese's hallucination of Beth. Great connection on the empty chair.

@galadrieljones:

Like @wdway, I’m also face-palming with the empty chair thing. Every year we do a Seder and leave the empty chair for Elijah. We also leave the door open for Elijah, and we pour him a glass of wine. Elijah is a prophet who performed miracles, including resurrection, and his return is a harbinger of the messiah.

I have noted before that Gimple is Jewish. He’s practicing. His wife converted to Judaism to marry him. So, all of these things are layered into his consciousness as he crafts these stories. I remember a long time ago mentioning the mezuzah and its relationship to 30 Days Without an Accident. Daryl goes to Beth’s cell, and it is the 30th day without an accident. The number 30 has special meaning in Judaism. You have 30 days to affix a protective mezuzah to your door when you move into a new home. After a loved one dies, unless it is a child, you sit shiva for seven days and for 23 days after that you continue life in a reduced but certain mourning period—a total of 30 days.

All of this is just to say that there is evidence that the author’s point of view here is very important, and that evidence pointing to Jewish tradition and Old Testament symbolism is especially potent here. I think this makes Beth even more special, since Gimple chose to make her in the Christian tradition, a Christ figure.

This would signal the coming of a new era. Christianity also upholds a more forgiving image of God than Judaism, in which God is like a very stern, punishing father. I think Gimple is very interested in the notion of the messiah. In Christianity, we view Jesus as the messiah, and the Jewish belief in the messiah is what gave way to Christian beliefs in the birth of Christ. In Judaism, the messiah will one day return to lead the Jewish people back to the Promised Land. He will be born of the Davidic Line and rule as King of the Jewish (chosen) people.

Leaning into the number 12, as it is not only the number of Jesus’s disciples. In Jewish belief there is something called the 13 Principles of Faith, the twelfth of which is in the coming of the messiah. Elijah is the harbinger of the messiah.

I suppose it’s not then coincidence that there is currently a character named Elijah, who entered the story with Maggie, Beth’s big sister. I don’t think Elijah is himself an Elijah figure. I just think that when a Biblical name is used, that’s meant to conjure a Biblical theme in the given context. See: Gabriel, Leah. Now, as of 11.22, we actually have Luke returning to the storyline. In Christianity, it’s the Gospel of Luke that tells the story of the birth, ministry, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, the Christian messiah. Lots and lots of connections here!

Recalling now the empty chair beside Leah in Daryl’s first flashback in Find Me. The chair is shaped like a heart, waiting for Elijah to return, a sign that the “messiah,” or Beth, his true love may return soon thereafter.

@wdway:

Broken record but I love when we all play off of each other. After reading your response Tarah I feel even more confident that if blood above a door represents a Jewish theme then three spikes is the Christian equivalent. I too thought of Maggie's friend Elijah as a reminder of a biblical figure. In talking about Luke reappearing I'm sure is part of bringing all the living characters together for the end of the series but it does feel that it's also a reminder with a Galadriel, Luke and Elijah of a Bible theme of good vs evil. A beginning and an end and a Resurrection for a new beginning.

Acts of God. Two spikes near Leah's camp. Did anyone ever have any ideas on the strange box like object?

@twdmusicboxmystery:

No idea what the box is or what they’re doing for. But it reminds me of the Blair Witch Project.

@galadrieljones:

Me too lol. That’s like the first thing I thought. Is it some sort of trap? Like you step on a wire or something and it stabs you, or…????

But Daryl knows immediately it’s Leah based on the look of it. She clearly has some sort of thing for railroad spikes.

@wdway:

You're implying that Leah's responsible for the railroad tracks in the tree. I don't know at this point if I truly think that or if it is a writing direction that wants to make the connection. Has she simply camped near them, that they could be found all over the territory? I don't know what I'm talking about, just that I don't know that it's a isolated Leah symbol. It could also be a recognizable trigger for Daryl about Leah. I think it was Gabriel that asked something about the box, but they didn't say anything about the spikes. Ignore me I do not know what I'm talking about.

@galadrieljones:

I guess you’re right that we don’t know that Leah put them there. They seem to be “prelude” to Leah, like Daryl seeing them sort of leads to Leah, but there’s no way to know how they got there. Hmm.

Another mystery from Find Me.

Like how does Daryl know they mean Leah? Is it just a hunch? Or does he know how she loves railroad spikes? Or did he mark these places long ago that Leah is now returning to? Is this some sort of mind game? I’m confused lol

I know I initially thought Daryl put those spikes in the trees to control his delusions. I’m not sure about that anymore. But they do seem navigational, somehow. Idk!!!!

@wdway:

What came to my mind was when they first met in FM she said, "what are you doing on my land." I kind of had wondered if Daryl had somehow marked the territory in which he had been searching. ???????

@galadrieljones:

That’s a pretty good estimation. Idk?? Yeah, maybe they are meant to mark her “property lines,” or something? They do end up in the woods that lead to her house. But that’s still insane. Like she just decided one day “this is my land stay out no trespassing beware of DOG!”

Hard to defend land when it’s just one lady but then again she was a bit nuts so idk?

@wdway:

One thing seen certain, that we're not going to get any of these answers by the end of the series with only a couple of episodes left. For me this series isn't ending it's just moving on. So many questions left unanswered.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

I totally agree with @wdway on that last point. The series isn’t ending, just moving on. It’s expanding. And there are plenty of unanswered questions still that are good fodder for the spinoffs. Thoughts?

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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hiccanna-tidbits · 2 years

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HICCANNA MONTH WEEK 3, DAY 3 - STEAMPUNK AU

BEHOLD! I finally came up with a plot for the steampunk AU that’s been floating around in my head for a cool minute now!!! I always wanted to do something with this AU (because HELLO, Hiccup invents??? And the setting is just cool af???) but I could never figure out anything that seemed like a fresh or interesting take on it, and I could never figure out what I wanted Anna to do in a steampunk AU XD

THEN it suddenly came to me, and I was like “OMG??? Hospitality work???” Like it would be PERFECT for someone with her kinda friendly personality, especially in a world of flying hotels--big variety of tasks, lots of interesting people (even if many are snobs), good views, etc. Also my friend Dave and I were talking about a baker!Anna AU a while back...which somehow worked its way in here, of all places XD

Partly inspired by this post, since dragons of any sort (mechanical or not) would very definitely cause air traffic problems in any world with lots of aircrafts XD Also me??? Turning a ship month post into a scathing satire of hypercapitalistic societies??? More likely than you think!!!

As always, moodboard pic credits available upon request!

***

Anna, a young worker on an airship resort, hasn't quite found her life's direction yet. As is, she tries to do everything, jumping back and forth between copiloting, helping to decorate fancy cakes in the kitchens, cleaning rich peoples' cabins, and occasionally keeping the peace with her trusty zap gun--only as needed, of course. It's a good job, and it gets her up in the sky admiring some stellar views of the city, but she can't help but feel like she wants more.

Then she hears concerned whispers in the pilots' cabin, rumors of some young, up-and-coming inventor who's wreaking all kinds of air traffic havoc with his hand-crafted, enormous mechanical dragons, supposedly built entirely out of rusty gears and trashed parts. Although Anna knows great metal dragons interfering with the air hotel's pre-determined flight path is bad for business, she can't bring herself to feel the same disdain for the mysterious young man that her boss and coworkers do. The metal dragons can't even breathe fire, really, and they don't go around eating people with their huge metal maws, so that's something. As far as Anna can tell, the worst they do is get in the way.

And get in the way they do. One fateful day, the airship captain doesn't alter his flight path fast enough. The dragon in front of them, a rickety, ancient thing leaking steam from every crevice, moves out of their way about as quickly as an zeppelin whose back propellers are barely bothering. In the moments right before the explosion, Anna makes reluctant peace with the fact that the legacy she is leaving behind will be that of a stressed-out, directionless hotel worker.

She wakes up somewhere sunny. At first, she wonders if she's made it to an idyllic afterlife--somewhere with grass and meadows and butterflies and other things that just aren't very accessible anymore. That is, until she sees a wide glass dome above her head, and feels a cot underneath her.

When she sits up, she realizes she's on a platform above a vast, tiled room filled with all sorts of contraptions, dials, machines, clockwork gears, and glowing coils. As well as the workshop seems to be functioning, it doesn't look particularly polished or upkept. Weeds and tree sprouts seem to be poking up out of every crack, like whatever crew who would usually pull unwanted plants decided to take a permanent vacation.

Not that Anna minds. It's nice to see some green, after the sleek, polished whites, silvers, and creamy browns of the resort.

And then in walks a frazzled young man, fussing over some tiny doohickey with the gears out of place. He puts it down and lifts his goggles, and she gets a good look at the man who must've saved her--shrimpy, disheveled brown hair, green eyes, lots of freckles. A DIY clockwork leg in place of a real one, the original limb probably lost in some kind of factory accident. He introduces himself has Hiccup Haddock--a rather anticlimactic name for someone who's been stirring up so much trouble in the city, Anna thinks. He tells her the rest of the hotel staff and patrons are fine--the inventor arrived on a much faster dragon just in time to evacuate them all. (“Poor Old Gray--he was on his last leg. Figured it wouldn't be too long before he went up in smoke--er, steam, I guess.”) Most of the guests were out for the day, hitting tourist traps all over town, so luckily the amount of people on the airship wasn't enormous.

Anna wonders if Hiccup carried her out of the blast, and wonders why the thought is making her blush.

Hiccup, it turns out, runs an automaton rehabilitation of sorts. He makes broken machines run again, sometimes having to cobble together dozens of spare parts and practically start from scratch. The dragons were a side passion project of sorts, made out of everything that wouldn't fit anywhere else. Well...a side passion project that apparently got very out of hand. Anna wonders if he has some sort of dragon-cloner, or if these mechanical dragons are somehow able to reproduce.

He says his family was in the weapon business, but Hiccup never had much interest in fancy guns and laser shooters (Anna thanks her lucky stars that at least one of them is comfortable using a zap gun) and was more interested in society's rejects. Everything mocked, bullied, and dismissed, just as he had once been on the schoolyard and at his soulless first job designing blasters for his father. The blueprints never worked quite right--probably, Anna figured, because his heart didn't seem to be in it.

Eventually, he says, he did make a blaster design that worked. It would've been the proudest moment of his life--had he not seen his very blaster being used to mow down rows upon rows of rebelling servant automatons at a citywide protest. After that, he decided he'd rather use his knack for tech and designs to fix things rather than destroy them.

Over the next few days, the hotel patrons and staff leave Hiccup's workshop one by one. Back to their vacations, off to the resort headquarters to get stationed at a new airship hotel. (All grudgingly agree not to snitch about Hiccup's many unlicensed dragons, considering he did save their lives.) Not Anna, though.

It turns out Hiccup could use someone to fly his dragons around the city, collecting thrown-out metals and wires and defunct automatons. Just as good of views as she could get from any airship, Anna figures. Besides, he has a complicated-looking device that can somehow make much better coffee than Anna ever got in the resort staff's breakroom. It turns out a zap gun-slinger well-versed in both cake-decorating and the tourist elite, and with no less than 3/4 of an airship pilot's license, might be exactly what Hiccup needs.

And so their adventure begins, living up to Hiccup's reputation as the biggest nuisance in town and saving every downtrodden automaton they can get their hands on. But this new path for Anna is not without its dangers; Skyway Cloudside Resorts is searching for someone to sue for the massive property damage of one of their best locations exploding--and without anyone even inside to collect life insurance on! The fines Corporate has to pay for the lost hotel are no laughing matter, and the rumors that one of their ex-workers is now on the side of the geek responsible only makes them crankier.

It's a perilous cat-and-mouse game, but Hiccup and Anna are not a team to be trifled with. In the end, they can always outwit even the most cunning of Skyway's sleazy attorneys.

They find that together, they can do anything.

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hardpacker · 2 years

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KLONOA: Door to Phantomile

PS1, Namco, 1999

a couple minutes that i recorded of myself starting a new game of Klonoa, because some friends haven't seen it before. i have a longer video here, of clearing Vision 1-1 and 1-2.

sorry if i'm a little slow/clunky, i've never done this kind of thing so for the short segment above i first used some shitty freeware that unfortunately only recorded in like 5-min intervals, and for my second try i used different software that required more finessing but i used it to record up to the 2nd boss fight. maybe sometime i can do a proper run with a hot mic so you can really hear my dark nights of the soul with this children's game.

it gets even better than this!

i do have favourite games, but the truth is more that i have "games i've played" (and those are my favourites) and "games" (all other games. there's gotta be at least a hundred by now!) i'm not very good at them lol so i guess what happened is that if i'm going to sink hours and hours into something i end up enjoying it. but Klonoa is pretty breezy (haha.)

most of the games i played as a kid were distinctly of their time: strange, empty, experimental expanses full of 90s patterns and colours, with corners creatively cut. vast, sisyphean 3D platformers like Croc or Glover, all of the Myst games, virtual pets like Petz (dogz, catz) but also the Creatures series starting in 1996, and even more importantly, 1996's Fin-Fin-- produced by Osamu Tezuka's son, and while the company Fujitsu went under, Fin-Fin survives almost entirely due to a German fan site. fin-fin is genuinely perfect though, i mean look, look at this

fin-fin makes a bitch out of james cameron

meanwhile, Glover (1998)

Pokemon G/S/C were instantly and still are my favourite Pokemon installment for how much bigger and more mysterious they felt--and how much bigger they are literally! they're pretty huge games especially relative to the Pokemon games before and after. bigger still is how little is explained and how much room is left for a kid's imagination to build an experience from more simple pixels. it's a place to live in. coupled with the Pokemon 1999/2000 film featuring Lugia (my all-time fave) and my complete lack of access to any press about new Pokemon, the sense of mystery lasted quite a long time. the surprises, the entire soft but vibrant colour palette, the history and legends permeating the countryside, the simple but immersive integration of day/night and events throughout the week, and a soundtrack of top to bottom heaters... it felt personal, intimate.

compared to the newer series which i just find too stacked with convoluted elements. as of X/Y, they really began to feel like homework to me. i barely remember the plotlines after Black/White. i welcomed Heart Gold and Soul Silver, too, because it was incredible to see these beloved environments come into what was then HD focus. i replayed Crystal last summer (?) on my GBA and seamlessly remembered the way i imagined all those original environments and events. the limitations on these games make for infinite interpretation, and for me, contentment.

i don't tackle all my favourite media with the problem-solving/"what if" approach that i do with other properties... in fact it's pretty rare. games especially are a full sensory experience. Metal Gear Solid is another favourite series, special in that it's one of the few games i've repeatedly played just for the hell of it. Ace Attorney, which i was obsessed with as a young adult, i made almost 0 "content" for. i just didn't feel that impulse but still liked it all the same. versus something like JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, which fucked my ass up; that was a world i wanted to not only explore, but explore by creating my own ideas bound to it. the fact that JJBA has continued for so long, incorporates many genres and tones, and has been adapted into multiple formats, means it's accessible to more people and i. (i need to save all that for its own post ha ha.)

Klonoa really is dreamy though, and that's essential to the story. it starts immediately following a luscious, ominous opening, and you're rushing off with little preamble. Klonoa himself is guileless and accepting of the logic presented, while his orb friend Huepow prompts him to question meanings and intentions. but why should he question it? why should you? it's his home, and just look at it! gorgeous.

the pan flute-heavy soundtrack rips. the characters speak in individual conlangs based on Japanese, sort of like the Sims. those little enemies i'm grabbing in the video are called Moos and there are different variants-- flying moos that look like parrots, moos that hop around on what looks like an inner tube with a spring, ghost moos, armoured moos (these run fast) and giant moos (which you can blow up to receive a handful of stones, or inflate to use them as a platform.)

this is from the beach volleyball game. the guy with the heart on his head is the king of all moos.

i rented Klonoa from my small town's video store so many times that finally my parents begged them to sell it to us, and that's what happened. it's such a charming game, the colours and music and whimsical winding 2.5D tracks are cleverly and lusciously laid out. it makes no sense that this is contemporary with big time uggos Crash Bandicoot and Spyro. i loved Spyro too, because he was a little dragon and i was pretty confidently a little dragon, too. pwho doesn't love a melted ice cream-y world and a million sparkly sound effects! the closest i come to ASMR is the soft crunch of crashing through baskets of gems.

i'm grateful kids might experience a new and improved Spyro. those remakes don't rekindle excitement in me as much, only because i think i pretty much got what i wanted out of them when i was younger. and omfg Crash is something else entirely. i don't know much about those games because i was bad at them, but i played Crash Team Racing repeatedly until i sold it (and Ape Escape, a game i remember feeling genuine rage toward) to an old woman at a flea market lol. i learned last month that i'd never played story mode, didn't register that it was there at all, and it's so weird to discover a whole other aspect to this game. weird too because, like Crash proper, it's frankly a bit too racist!

now. need to talk about Klonoa more.

at the time, critics thought the games were "too cute" and "too easy", but now it seems like a lot of reviewers have gone back and adjusted their response-- the sequel is considered one of the greatest PS2 games iirc? even from the time, there are equal reviews remarking on seeming randomness of the difficulty level and, especially, toward the end, ramps up sharply. this game has some hard shit in it! especially when it comes to timing and building up momentum. lots of heights-based challenges that make me flinch and kick reflexively.

these came to me at a time with barely any internet, so games were just random items that appeared in my house or were available at the video store, not things i knew how to find or should consider finding on my own. i didn't know there was a sequel until i thought to punch "klonoa" into a search in my Netscape browser, something i could've done at any point (during my allotted 20-30min computer time) like an early human inventing fire lol. it was one of the first things i ever bought online and it came to me during a part of summer while my parents were away, and this hushed sense of freedom coloured my experience.

there are 2 Klonoa GBA games and a silly beach volleyball offshoot game as well, featuring characters from Lunatea's Veil onward. i played one of the GBA ones as a kid, Empire of Dreams, but i don't think i finished it. at the time, shrinking Klonoa into a gameboy just wasn't what i wanted-- i liked how odd and big the PS games felt, the structures receding into a darkness i simultaneously filled in and was thrilled by in its own right. and i was gutted by the story and wanted to follow it on the platform i loved most. but Empire of Dreams and Dream Championship both look so natural and very pretty, and i think these play basically like a Mario. i should try it again.

There are technically 3 handheld Klonoa games-- Moonlight Museum was only for the WonderSwan, but it can now be played as a translated rom, available here! i'm pretty sure it's intended to take place before(?) Door to Phantomile.

Empire of Dreams takes place in an indeterminate time after(?) Door to Phantomile. Dream Championship takes place after the Playstation 2 sequel, Lunatea's Veil, the direct continuation of Door to Phantomile and utilises the same foundation/mechanics.

from replaying them recently, i found out Klonoa 1-2 are being remastered for the nintendo switch. i don't have a switch so i can't compare, and i hope they retain all the same qualities. i played the Wii version of Klonoa many times and i did like it, but there is something that gets lost in each rework. even the colours and light of the switch version feel... yes, more "realistic" in some ways, but they're not as cohesive or as saturated, not as lively, a little faded. the UI isn't as unique either. i hope my impressions are wrong though and that regardless, it's still just as fun (and sad, haha.)

i'll have to show a bit of Lunatea's Veil, at least just one of my favourite locations... La-Lakoosha. i can run through it in my sleep.

#klonoa #ps1 #psx

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chiyukiblog · 1 year

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REFRESHING PAUSE

Summer, my favorite season of all time ( as if there are other seasons in this tropical country where I live)

Every time of the year and as I grow up, my family goes to the beach and we choose to spend our time in this relaxing view of nature.

I really enjoy capturing these moments from sunrise to sunset and how calm the sea is at noon.

This kind of vacation is really therapeutic, especially when you live in a city that stresses you out.

It gives me more motivation to live my life to the fullest. We feel the impulse to travel more than normal especially if the summer is in full flow. We are compelled to pack our bags and take a much-needed vacation by something about the pleasant weather. Itinerary planning, though, can be stressful in and of itself. To assist, we've compiled five of our go-to suggestions for relaxing travel preparation.

I remember my mom in the summer of 2010 was stressing herself out about getting a car for us because our car crashed into its internal part.

Oh, as I remember I can't swim when I was 8 but I know how to float tho and my dad gets mad while teaching me because he's ashamed of me screaming that I can't move in my position lol. Fun fact, I am afraid of the ocean although we need to get to the boat because it is an island that we always go through. But yeah thankfully I get distracted by the beautiful view such as other islands and also when you see the creatures that are unfamiliar but slowly getting used to seeing it, I am sure that other people like me will be encouraged to travel using boats. By sharing experience we postponed our travel in 2020, reason, covid. We are so sad because we’re not used to being at home, especially in the summer it is so hot in the city. Also not enough trees to have some fresh air. We've missed it and luckily 2021 is a great year for summer because we continue our travel although there are a lot of protocols that need to obey and stuff.

Summer in 2022 is the best i guess? Kidding, but yea we’ve been to 3 beautiful beaches which are not new but the place, yes.

From Manila, we always go north, mostly Zambales. There are a lot of tourist spots there. And the locals there are so kind we’ve lost the first time we got there but they guide us as if they were tourist guides. And the pictures above were captured at Zambales also.

I hope 2023 will also be a great year for summer! So that i will blog it again here on my tumblr account. I am really looking forward to this blog to grow and more travel blogs to post!

But if you want to see other posts of mine in my other platform accounts the link will be in the description below :>>>

youtube

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ohnominamino · 3 years

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An Essay on Love in Evangelion: 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time

Evangelion: 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time is a movie about love in all its forms. From the love of family, friends, and neighbors, to the compassion we feel for people we have never met. The movie reminds us that love is something we continuously gain, lose, and choose, again and again. Which love is greatest? In my opinion, the answer to that question is left up to interpretation. In this essay, I will give my own personal interpretation on certain character interactions and what I believe we are meant to take away from their Rebuild portrayals.

The character I will start with is one I’ve noticed the most outrage over from people who haven’t seen the movie and read out-of-context spoilers: Kaworu Nagisa.

Kaworu is a beloved character among many Evangelion fans, especially those who are members of the LGBT+ community. He is a canonical love interest of Shinji Ikari and I want to reassure people that this final movie does not change that fact. However, it does not make the couple blatantly endgame either. This skirting around the couple might make some fans upset, and while their feelings are completely valid, I do not think they fully understand the difficulties faced by LGBT+ people in Japan, nor do they understand the way that romance is typically conveyed in Japanese storytelling. (I recommend watching “Is ‘Yuri On Ice’ Good Gay Representation?” by James Somerton for more about storytelling nuances.)

What have we been shown about Shinji and Kaworu’s love? The good news is, anything you read into the original TV series and End of Evangelion is completely true for the Rebuilds— because Kaworu is the same Kaworu. This movie proves Evangelion is a single universe set on repeat, and that Kaworu and Shinji meet each other every loop, and in each, Kaworu is trying to make Shinji happy. Within the final movie, Shinji becomes aware of the loops and chooses to break the cycle and free Kaworu from his pain.

What does the relationship between Shinji and Kaworu teach us? I believe the purpose of their love is to show the audience that first, in the words of Kaji, “love has no gender.” Second, I believe Kaworu’s love in particular is a warning about basing your own happiness solely upon another person. There are parallels drawn between Gendo/Yui and Kaworu/Shinji. Gendo could not exist without Yui, and so he was willing to destroy the world to be reunited with her. For Kaworu, it was not the destruction of humanity, but the destruction of himself that defined his tragedy. What’s important within the final movie, in my opinion, is that Shinji does not reject Kaworu’s love. With the insight he’s gained from remembering past loops, he sees Kaworu’s love and appreciates him, but he also sees his suffering and wants to ease it. He helps Kaworu into a new world where he can seek his own happiness and find balance in his life (something his father did not have).

While Kaworu and Shinji are not seen as an explicit couple at the end of the movie, it’s significant to note that, when he sets Kaworu free, Shinji holds out his hand to Kaworu as a promise to stay together. Over the course of the movie, Shinji comes to accept his connection to others through accepting touch (in the form of hand holding and hugs from Rei, Misato, and Gendo); however, Kaworu is the only character in the movie who Shinji initiates physical contact with and that speaks to how much Kaworu means to him. This simple gesture, in my opinion, keeps the door open for Kaworu and Shinji to be a couple one day, after Kaworu has found more balance in his life.

If I were to write an entire essay about Kaworu, it would be titled, “Out of the Coffin: How the Resurrection of Kaworu Nagisa Buries the Tragic Lovers Trope” because this movie truly does just that.

Another potential love interest for Shinji for many years was Asuka; however, unlike with Kaworu, the nature of this relationship is not left up to interpretation by the end of the movie. Before her big final battle, Asuka tells Shinji, “I think I loved you back then” (regarding their time in middle school) and Shinji, during Instrumentality, tells Asuka, “Thank you for saying you loved me. I loved you too.” It is past tense.

What does this relationship teach us? It’s a beautiful way of showing that we can love people, and grow and learn, and let go when we no longer fit each other. Letting go is an integral part of life. Whereas other Instrumentality scenes involve touch, Asuka’s, mirroring the ending of End of Evangelion, has a distinct lack of touch. Shinji sits with his arms around his knees and Asuka turns her body away from him. He gives her his thanks and he sends her off to find her peace. Asuka and Shinji teach us that it’s okay to grow out of relationships. You can appreciate what they were to you at the time they happened and move on.

What about Rei? To be honest with you, this movie is less about Rei’s relationship with Shinji, and more about her relationship with the world. Rei teaches movie viewers about the simple pleasures of living. While Shinji is in mourning for the first quarter of the movie, Rei (as “Sokkuri”) is learning about crop growing and community, the wonder of babies and kittens, the joy of the bath after a long day of fruitful work, and the power of words and picture books. At the end of her life, she only regrets not having more time to spend with the people she loves. In Instrumentality, Shinji accepts her hand when it is offered to him, which I hope signifies he is ready to see life as she had come to during the final movie.

Rei teaches us that we can love living and to not take our limited time for granted.

Next, we move on to parent figures: Gendo and Misato. I think they both represent people ill suited to the role, who do the best they can despite it. Gendo, as mentioned for Kaworu above, is a warning about defining yourself by your relationship to another person (Ikari, afterall, is Yui’s name). He is also a lesson in how people mourn and how they can lash out. Misato, like Gendo, felt herself a poor parent, and while mourning the loss of Kaji, she gave up her child to be raised by other people, but, unlike Gendo, went forward to put all her energy into protecting humanity. Both of them reach out to hug Shinji within the movie and he accepts them where they are.

While I wouldn’t say the movie shows that Shinji forgives Gendo, it does show his making an effort to understand and make peace with what others have done. For Misato, it is fair to say we can still hope for a better future, even when it feels like everything is crumbling around us. Her self-sacrificing love for her son and the whole of humanity is what enables Shinji to then save the people he loves (via the spear of Gaius).

In the movie, we are also shown friendship. Touji, Hikari, and Kensuke are important members of their community who maintain open communication with those around them and respect others’ boundaries. They are patient and kind and represent the importance of being present. They teach us to meet people where they are and support them how we can, whether it’s giving them a warm meal or giving them space when they need it.

There are many more characters that could be talked about, but today I am going to end on Mari. Mari’s love is physical. She enjoys being in people’s personal bubbles. She cuddles Asuka and helps trim her hair, she gets into Gendo’s space at college, and at the end of the movie, she reaches out her hand to Shinji to help him stand up from his seat. Upon first glance, some viewers might take Mari and Shinji’s final scene to be romantic, but the reality of it is this: We do not, and cannot, know what kind of love she is meant to represent in his life.

We do not know Mari’s relationship with Shinji because they hardly interact in the movie. She clearly cares about him, but in my opinion, it comes from a place of duty and compassion— Mari was friends with Gendo and Yui. She has been there since he was born. (If we take the manga to be canon, then Mari even had romantic feelings towards his mother. Her hairstyle and glasses are from Yui. At the end of the movie, Mari has changed her hairstyle, which to me implies she has moved on, and “getting” with Shinji would be a thematic break.)

Additionally, their conversation, while flirty, is very much one that implies they haven’t seen each other for a while. Mari is someone who is very physically affectionate. With everyone. If someone ignores that and focuses on the fact she gets into Shinji’s space and claims that’s romantic, they better acknowledge it’s possibly romantic with Asuka, who we see far more intimacy with. When Mari flirts, Shinji flirts back and her initial reaction is surprise, “Wow, you’ve learned to talk back!” Her purpose is clear. She is there to remove the DSS choker from his neck.

Personally, I love that Mari is the one to close the movie, for the exact reason that we do not know her relationship with Shinji. For Mari to have an assigned role would be to say, “This kind of love is most important,” when the entire movie was spent showing us each love is of equal importance in the balance and building of our lives. (It’s wonderful to see those types of love embodied across the platform from Shinji at the end of the movie: Rei and Kaworu, who, just like in End of Evangelion, could signify the ability to connect with others and be loved.)

If you view Mari as a romantic love interest, then I think it speaks to the value that you as an individual give to romance rather than what the characters themselves are feeling. To me, Mari, the character who was created to “destroy Eva,” is a symbol of all love. When Shinji takes her offered hand and then pulls her to run into the new world, it’s a symbol of balance. The give and take of any kind of relationship.

We are the product of every relationship we have ever had, from our parents to the people we once loved, from our friendships to any other person we want to stay connected to. Evangelion: 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time is a story about these relationships. It is a story about love.

#rebuild of evangelion #kaworu nagisa #shinji ikari #asuka shikinami #mari makinami #rei ayanami #misato katsuragi #gendo ikari #thrice upon a time #kawoshin #essay #movie review #shinkawo

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duskamethyst · 3 years

Text

cozen.

a/n: just realized that the colors of my banners are different on laptop and phone and that pissed me off.

word count: 3.9k

genre: smut, nsfw

warnings: noncon/dubcon, exhibitionism, public sex, thigh riding, squirting, sexual assault, stalking, power abuse

pairing: aizawa x f!reader

summary: where aizawa deliberately takes on the roll as your guardian inside the train, but of course he has other plans.

the worst place to be during the rush hour would be inside a train.

aizawa never bothered to commute because he often walked to work and back home but for you, he was willing to make an exception.

you caught his attention during one of his evening patrols, walking alone in the big city with a short skirt that accentuated your curves and long legs. aizawa discovered the fact that you used the train to get to work daily and with the fact that you were always alone, he knew that you were always put in a vulnerable situation. so, he thought; why not keep an eye on you? maybe his job as a hero could give him a little advantage too.

like a child, he finds himself eager to get on the train. of course, he doesn’t really know which coach you would be standing in but his commute turns out to be so much worth it whenever he does end up standing in the same one as you.

in the morning, you would be there before he gets in and he’s the first one to step off the train in the evening. he assumes that you live somewhere closer to the end of the train’s final stop but he doesn’t know exactly where. so far, he has learned which station you use to wait for the train for your ride home from work.

and today seems to be one of those days where he is lucky enough to see you in the same coach, squeezed between a throng of people. aizawa always noticed the fed up and uncomfortable look on your face as you held on to the bar but it was because of no other than a pervert deliberately rubbing his front on your backside.

he’s sort of mad that you just let it happen, quietly accepting the assault being thrown at you. he can see how your face is contorted into anger and vexation as you try to nudge the man with your elbow and what he assumes as the man muttering half-assed apologies before he starts to blatantly repeat the same shit again.

you look around pleadingly for someone to intervene and your hands are balled into tight fists, ready to swing any moment but you hesitate because you’re afraid of being the one who will end up getting into trouble and especially since you don’t have any concrete evidence that you’re being harassed either.

for a moment, his gaze locks briefly with yours before you turn away, probably to seek for someone else to come to your aid. he knows that almost no heroes ride the train, since they either patrol on the streets or keep watch from up above but he is currently the outlier, and what kind of hero would he be if he just continues to turn a blind eye on this? maybe it’s time for him to steal the opportunity to play hero and finally get an excuse to talk to you after a long time of observing you from the sidelines.

aizawa slowly pushes the people aside to make his way over to your side and takes you by surprise by putting his hand on your shoulder.

“baby, why didn’t you pick up the phone?” he sighs and says a little too loudly so the creep behind you can hear. you look at him perplexingly but he just gives you a silent look that tells you to play along.

“u-uh.. i’m sorry. my phone is on silent.” you try to reply with the same tone. “but i’m glad you found me! thought i’ve lost you.”

the way you inch closer to him doesn’t go unnoticed, especially how your boob is literally pressing on his side. aizawa quickly glances to the man who still seems to be unbothered by the fake acting (not that he can tell) so he spins you around to face him instead.

good lord. maybe he shouldn’t have done that.

now aizawa can clearly see that your tits are squished against his chest through the unbuttoned top of your little white blouse. your gaze strays somewhere else, probably in embarrassment or maybe you don’t mind at all– he can’t tell nor can he think straight right now but he’s here for one purpose and he’s going to honor it.

“how’s work today?” he inquires, turning your head to him with his fingers so it would seem like you both are engaging in a natural conversation between lovers. he is able to see your tired eyes up close but they seem to carry the same soft look he’s so smitten with.

“hard.” he tenses up a little at the possibility of you noticing the erection in his pants but thank god they’re baggy or else the tent would be obvious. “i missed you.”

aizawa’s heart is bursting in his chest but he places on his mask of unfazed expression perfectly. he still has a role to play after all.

he leans down to whisper in your ear yet his eyes bore intimidatingly into the man’s, “i’m sorry to hear that, sweetheart. but i promised to take good care of you tonight, remember?”

perhaps that was a bit of an overstate, but hey, it works. now that the man has caught on, he immediately walks off the train as soon as it stops– not even bothering whether it's where he’s supposed to go or not as he tries to run away from the possibility of getting into trouble with another guy.

“you okay?” he steps back and takes a good look at you only to realize how you’re avoiding his gaze to hide your evidently flushed face. how cute. “you don’t look so good.”

“i-i’m fine.” you mutter. “thank you for saving me.”

“no problem. it’s a part of my job. i just happened to be here.” he points out in a blatant lie.

you look at him in surprise as if finally connecting the dots, “wait, are you a hero?”

“uh, i guess– yes, i am.”

it’s the first time you’ve ever seen a hero being vague about his profession– or maybe you just made him feel uncomfortable to admit that he’s one when you, a quirkless citizen should be acknowledging the heroes that are risking their lives to protect the country so they should at least deserve some recognition, him included.

“i’m sorry. i didn’t recognize you and i don’t really keep up with the heroes.” you laugh nervously, afraid of offending the male. though you can’t really tell what he thinks nor can you tell if he even cares from the look on his face but he only observes you silently before his lips turn to a lopsided smile.

he doesn’t take it to heart, of course, but he finds it endearing that you’re trying to make him feel better. aizawa is not one that likes to be in the limelight anyway, so he doesn’t blame you.

the number of people in the train gradually dissipates as the train stops station by station, leaving him and you together with some other few who have taken their seats to doze off. aizawa’s platform has long passed by but he decides to stay with you with intent to know where you actually live.

aizawa doesn’t speak much the whole ride, only answering your questions and listening to you as you talk about your life. he learns that you’re a fresh graduate who just started working in an office and saving up to buy a car so you don’t have to trouble yourself with train rides anymore. he doesn’t know why you entrust him with the fact that you live alone in your apartment, but he’s relieved that you do. maybe it’s easy to trust a hero. man or not.

but his filthy gaze lingers around your body once in a while– blood rushes to his cock when he sees the plush thighs that are exposed from your short skirt as you sit, the two buttons on your blouse that looks like they’re about to pop off from your breasts and the way your puffy lips jut out slightly when you stare out the window to watch the sun slowly disappears below the horizon to make way for the dark sky. the ride would’ve been peaceful if not for the uncomfortable throb inside his pants right now.

and soon enough, you stand up from your seat and grab your bag in preparation to step off from the agonizing ride.

“this is my stop. thank you again, eraser head. it’s nice meeting you!” you beam sweetly before you walk off the train and wave him goodbye as the doors slowly closes between the two of you.

aizawa can’t wait to see you again tomorrow– but now he needs a change of pace. since he doesn’t want to take risk of you finding out that he intentionally missed his platform, he chooses to only ride the train in the evening now.

with his height, aizawa is able to see you looking around as soon as you step into the train with exhaustion written all over your face. however, it’s instantly washed away with an exuberant look when you notice him staring at you from the other side. his heart swells with joy as he watches you push yourself through the crowd with your bag covering your chest protectively.

“found you, eraser!” you chirp as you stand in front of the male.

“oh? so you were looking for me?” he replies coyly, sinking lower into his scarf to keep his burning cheeks out of sight.

you nod eagerly and sigh, “i looked for you this morning too, but i guess you were on a different coach or something.”

“why? you wanted to use me so i’d protect you from perverts?”

“oops. busted.” you laugh.

if that’s the one thing that binds you and him, he doesn’t really mind. aizawa is pleased to know that you’re willing to be around him as much as he does. it then comes to a point where you both promise to be in the same coach in the evening.

it has been over a week since aizawa restrained his lecherous intentions. all of those days he has seen you don that short skirt that seems to hug your ass so well. every weekday evening he gets to glance down over your cleavage when you press yourself closely against him and when you’re not facing him? he can feel that ass just lightly brushing, teasing him when the train shakes and he knows he won’t be able to take it any longer.

what is he waiting for anyway? when this is all what he coveted in the first place? fuck playing the reliable hero.

aizawa doesn’t want to regard himself and the creeps inside the train as equals. he’s different. he’s a hero and because of that, he got you always wanting to stay close to him without him compelling. you’re so sweet to him, so trusting and you never give him the dirty look whenever he places his hand too low on your back.

more people are joining in from different stations so as usual, aizawa quickly pulls you into a corner nearby one of the doors which he knows won’t be opening for people to get in and get out. he only keeps guard by standing behind you as you take in the view of the same buildings and skyline.

“you have no idea how much i’m dying to own a car.” you sigh as you stare outside the glass window unheedingly and completely oblivious to your surroundings.

“yes. you’ve said that a million times.” he carefully inches closer (as much as he can anyway) and bravely takes a whiff of your shampoo that never fails to fill and rouse his senses.

“i’m sorry,” you titter. “you must’ve gotten bored of hearing it.”

“no, i like it.” he whispers audibly in your ear, just enough for both of you to hear.

“i’m gla–” you’re suddenly startled when you feel something hard prodding against your ass. you start to feel uneasy and try to shift away but a pair of hands brazenly grab your breasts, almost making you yelp in surprise.

“shh,” his hot breath fans over the shell of your ear, sending shivers down your spine. “don’t wanna make a scene.”

your heart instantly drops once you realize the person you trust most, a hero at that, is doing the very same thing he protected you from. you can see the vague reflection ahead– the way his hands are massaging your tits as he litters chaste kisses on the crook of your neck.

you attempt to pry his hands off of you, but he only grabs harder and pushes you closer to the front until your forehead presses against the cold glass.

“aizawa– stop.”

aizawa can hear panic lacing in your voice as you whimper but he simply brushes off your plea, too busy soothing his carnal needs by grinding his hard cock against your ass.

“no. you feel so good.” he nibbles your neck, sucking and biting the supple flesh to leave a bruising mark.

“p-people are gonna see.”

“that’d be really hot.” he hoists up your short skirt to prop his knees between your thighs before one of his hands guides your hip and compels you to grind your pussy against his own thigh.

your eyes lingers around the crowd in the train, in between looking for help and hoping that no one sees what he’s doing to you but everyone’s either immersed in their phones or napping and even when someone does notice you, they just turn away uncomfortably.

“looks like i’m the only hero in this train, kitten.” he says ironically as the hand from your hips snakes in front to rub circles on your clit. “feels good, does it?” he coos as you try to muffle your whines from escaping.

you’re clawing on his wrist in an attempt to make him stop, but the harder you try to, the harder he presses your mound and clit.

aizawa slips two fingers inside your panties, barely biting back a groan once he uncovers you wet beneath his fingers.

“what a surprise.” he chuckles, smearing his fingers with your slick before bringing it up to your mouth. “open up, kitten.”

you purse your lips in retaliation but he easily rubs his thumb on your hardened nipple, causing you to gasp and he quickly shoves his fingers inside your mouth. your tongue wraps around his fingers, sucking and tasting your own flavor as he observes you through the reflection.

“you like how it tastes?” he pulls out his fingers from your mouth with a lewd pop sound before tugging your panties to the side and sliding a digit swiftly inside your cunt. a surprised yelp manages to roll off your tongue from the intrusion but you quickly look down to hide your humiliation and away from the peculiar gazes of others inside the coach.

aizawa hushes you as he thrusts his fingers slowly, savoring the tightness of your walls while also attempting to keep down the squelching noises from your dripping cunt.

“it’s okay. most of them are going to step off soon, then you can be as loud as you want.” he murmurs, holding you close to his body while his other hand continuously rubs your nipple with his thumb to stimulate you even further until your world is reduced to his satisfying ministrations.

as time passes by, more and more people have left the train while a few sleepers still remain. aizawa already has two fingers pumping inside your sopping cunt and your slick is already trickling down your thighs as you try hard to hold in your whines.

“please– i can’t–” your legs have grown weaker and you can only find support by leaning back against his broad chest. your toes are curling inside your heels and your breath has come out shorter and deeper as he keeps on edging you until he thinks it’s safe to fuck you without the presence of other people seeing his unheroic actions.

“you wanna cum, pretty girl?” he finally picks up the pace, causing your body to squirm as you moan breathlessly.

“y-yes– please–”

“you’re really sucking me in.” he groans, dragging and curling his fingers against the spongy walls that makes your thighs tremble as you edge closer to an orgasm. “cum for me.”

your hands are clenching hard on his forearm and you feel the muscles in your stomach tightening with so much intensity. with his finger pressing down on your throbbing bud, you eventually come undone and you bite on his arm to stifle your screams.

“that’s it, princess. just what you need after a long day at work, huh?” he kisses your temple soothingly as you regain composure and struggle to fix your skirt, but he stops you from doing so.

“aizawa..?”

“i had a hard day at work too, you know.” he tugs your panties down to your ankles and picks it up. “i deserve something from you too, right? and i’m not talking about this.” you see him showing your panties through the glass before he shoves it inside his pocket.

aizawa wraps his scarf around your body and drags you to the middle of the coach. the fabric works as a bind around your wrists and ties onto the bar handle on top of your head to keep you restrained and exposed in front of a man that is sleeping in his seat.

“let’s hope he doesn’t wake up soon, hm?” he chuckles and takes his place behind you.

“you’re out of your–!”

you can barely contain your shriek when aizawa suddenly rips off the middle of your blouse that sends the buttons flying across from you and he quickly slips his hands underneath your bra to fondle your breasts.

“careful not to wake him up, princess.” he tweaks your pebbled nipples between his fingers to provoke the slightest sound from you but you press your lips firmly to conceal your mewls. “or else he’s gonna see me fucking your tight cunt.”

aizawa spits on his hand and smears his saliva with your slick, making you shudder from sensitivity before his fingers prod into your hole to give you a few pumps in preparation for his cock.

“i’ve been waiting for this for far too long.” he unzips his pants hastily to free his cock from its confinements and you gulp nervously when you see it in the reflection ahead– already throbbing and fully erected. aizawa lifts one of your legs up and rubs his shaft against your wet, puffy folds before lining his cock with your entrance.

you look down at the man anxiously, praying silently for him to not wake up (or maybe just never at all) to see you with your legs spread in front of his face for god knows how long it’ll be. you bite your lower lip hard when you feel aizawa’s cock sinking inside your cunt, stretching it as he pushes through your walls.

“shit. so fucking tight.” he growls in your ear as he sheathes his cock into you, pushing through your convulsing walls and until he has filled you to the brim. he starts to pound into you slowly and you bite back a moan when you feel the delicious drags of his veiny cock inside you.

his tongue traces the shell of your ear, licking all around the erogenous zone that has you shuddering and clenching down on him even more.

“mmph– you’re milking my cock so well, kitten.” he grunts, flicking your nipple with his free hand before toying with your clit.

“ah– he-he’s gonna wake up.” you pant, tugging your wrists for release as if the way it binds so securely doesn’t tell you enough that it would be impossible.

“then he’s gonna get one hell of a show.” he says nonchalantly before picking up his pace.

the squelching noises begin to fill the quiet air as aizawa continues to fuck you relentlessly. your slick is dripping down to his balls and your thighs, pooling underneath you and you can feel that you’re close to reaching another orgasm.

as your state has become more delirious, the man in front of you suddenly grunts in his sleep and a cold rush of fear instantly creeps down your spine. yet, aizawa doesn’t seem bothered when he remains to be balls deep inside you.

“i think you’re getting off on this, princess.” he says between breaths, rutting into you harder when he feels how hard you’re clamping around his cock.

“b-but– i’m gonna cum–” you whine, body squirming as you ground yourself to not cum.

your pussy is spread wide open in front of the man when aizawa easily lifts up your other leg. your heels have fallen under you and now you’re just practically hanging in mid air with his scarf and hands supporting your body. he angles deeper inside your cunny and your head throws back onto his shoulder when you feel the tip brushing against your cervix.

“then, cum.” it’s baffling how he manages to make it sound simple, not having a care in the world as if his reputation isn’t in the line right now. “look at me.”

you shyly turn your head to meet his heavy lidded eyes before he crashes his lips onto yours. you drown into his fervor kiss while the pressure continues to build in your lower stomach turns more intense and unbearable. at this point, you think it’s best to just swallow your humiliation.

“let it go.” he whispers against your lips and locks his gaze with your wavering eyes.

“f-fuck– cumming–!” you instantly draw in for a deep kiss to make him swallow your moans as you finally let yourself come undone. it feels oddly relieving in a sense that has your mind turned to mush, together with the feeling of an insurmountable high. the moment your eyes flutter open again, you realize that there are questionable droplets of water staining the glass window in front of you.

“you’re a little exhibitionist, aren’t you?” he mocks, yet proud and even more aroused that he managed to make you squirt in a public transport. “he might need to clean up.”

your eyes trail down to the man in front of you to see some amount of your own arousal trickling down on his poor face. you're so dazed with pleasure that you don’t even bother to care anymore and you just let aizawa fucks you through your high before his cock begins to twitch inside your pussy.

“be a good girl and take all my cum.” his pace soon falters and he holds you still before releasing a thick load inside your cunt. after he has emptied out, aizawa leans in the crook of your neck to catch his breath before removing his cock and putting you down gently.

“that was fucking good.” he sighs gratifyingly as he pulls his pants back up. aizawa unties your restraints and your legs wobble once they touch the ground, but he quickly catches you in his arms to keep you from falling to the floor. as if on cue, the train finally comes to a halt.

“oh, we’re here.” he picks up your shoes and bag before pulling you closer to him to stand in front of the automatic door. “do you need me to carry you or something?”

you look at him confusingly, then to the small map above your head; you’re at least two stops away from your station and three from his. “but this isn’t our stop.”

“well, this one has always been mine.”

#aizawa shouta #shouta aizawa #aizawa x reader #aizawa x you #aizawa smut #bnha smut #mha smut #aizawa fanfic #bnha fanfic #bnha aizawa #r; writes #tw; noncon #tw; dubcon #tw; stalking #tw; assault

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duuhrayliegh · 3 years

Text

my hero - request

request: anon: hi could you write a sebastian x female reader fic where she suffers from anxiety and feels bad because of it but he comforts her and tells her there’s nothing wrong with her and how strong she is even though she has this disorder

pairing: sebastian stan x female!reader

warnings: self-esteem issues, anxiety, toxicity in the fandom, language?

a/n: hey nona! you weren’t super specific on what type of anxiety that you wanted to reader to have, so if this isn’t what you had in mind, lmk and i’ll write you another fic! other than that i hope you like it!

p.s.: my requests and tag lists are open!!

xoxo ray

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You and Seb met at a coffee shop in New York. It was totally cliche and seemed straight out of a storybook. You had somehow managed to spill coffee on that specimen of a man, and he was kind enough to let you pay for his dry cleaning. Your relationship didn’t grow until you ran into him again while you were at a bar with your friends. If he had any say in telling the story of how you met, he spotted you from across the smoky bar and he knew then and there that he had to get to know you. Truthfully, you liked his version, but the real one was just indescribable. It seemed, to you at least, that you were destined to be with this man. Seeing him twice in one week? Come on, that’s possible if you were in the small town you grew up in, but not New York.

You obviously had recognized him as an actor, but really you didn’t care. That’s what drew Sebastian to you in the first place. You treated him as if he was any other guy on the street, he was able to be a normal person around you. Now, two years later, you lounge on the couch of your apartment in LA that you shared with the man you love. He’s still auditioning for any role that catches his eye and you’re supporting him no matter what.

His fans for the most part adored you and your relationship with Sebastian. The fans who didn’t like you were your only issue with this whole affair, but they had nothing to do with Sebastian other than flood his socials with nasty messages about you. You weren’t perfect, that you knew all too well, and you tried to let the comments roll off your shoulders. Most of the time you were successful in your efforts, but other times they clung to your skin like an unwanted disease.

Sebastian was currently promoting his new project Endings, Beginnings. You were so unbelievably proud of Seb, he was doing something that made him happy. In this particular film, he was acting alongside Shailene Woodley, who was just amazing. Seb always came home gushing about the new inside jokes that they had come up with. One of your favorite things that Seb did with you was run lines. You liked having the inside scoop on his new works, but this one was harder for you. It had quite a few sex scenes between Seb’s character Frank and Shailene’s Daphne.

Not that it bothered you. Nope. Didn’t bother you. At all.

...mmm, okay maybe it bugged you a little. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Sebastian, it was… well you couldn’t really describe what it was. Whatever the case may be, it was putting you deeper and deeper into a funk, one that you were having a hard time coming out of. And Seb’s fans who weren’t in your corner, weren’t really helping you any.

A few nights ago, Seb surprised you with a casual night out in LA. He texted you before he got home and told you that he was going to be taking you out. Did he give you a dress code for the evening? No, he did not (wonderful, thanks so much Seb). You decided to dress in a half business casual, half rail me when we get home outfit. You ended up wearing an adorable bustier top that was embroidered with pretty blue and pink flowers, a pair of destroyed jeans covered your legs. You finished it off with a pair of nude heels, when you looked in the mirror, you thought you looked hot as fuck. It was around seven when Seb picked you up, mouth hanging open, in awe of your outfit.

“Oh my god. You look so beautiful, Y/N.” He opened the passenger door of his car after he hugged you, giving you a small peck on the lips. Sebastian drove you to a restaurant a block off of Thai Town called Home Restaurant.

“Babe, this place is so cute!” You squeezed Sebastian’s upper arm, jumping up and down beside him. “How’d you find this place?” Sebastian shook his head, smiling at you.

“I asked Shai, actually.” He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck, and your heart sank a little. Why did it do that? “She said that the paps hardly ever come around here.” He leaned down pressing a kiss to your temple. “I thought that draga mea deserved a quiet night out on the town.” His voice rasped as he spoke in his native tongue, making a shiver race down your spine.

“Well, tell her I said thank you.” You offered him a small smile. He wrapped his arm around your waist, drawing circles on the exposed skin above your jeans. He spoke with the hostess as your mind drifted away. You were pulled out of your thoughts when he guided you to your table. Sebastian sat across from you, staring deeply into your eyes. You brought your hand up to rest your chin on it, staring back at him. “How’s everything been going?” You were genuinely interested in the answer and it made your heart warm watching his face light up.

“It’s been going really well. Everyone we worked with was real nice, it made all the scenes more comfortable.” Seb’s eyebrows rose at the mention of the scenes and you knew which ones he was referring to.

“Oh, right.” You tried not to let your emotions show.

“Yeah, we’re about to start teasing some of them to promote the show.” Seb sighed at the thought of having to use social media, you shook your head at him.

“I’ll help you with it, you dork.” You laughed to hide your discomfort. “Which scene did they approve for the posts?” Sebastian began to speak when he was interrupted by your waitress. After the two of you ordered your food, the waitress returned with your drinks. Sebastian took a large gulp of his before answering your previous question.

“They want me to post the trailer and then the scene between Frank and Daphne at the bar.” You tried to think back to the script, remembering the context. Frank and Daphne were meeting after Daphne had gone out on a date with Jack. Daphne was claiming that she didn’t want to be a wedge in their friendship, then proceeded to make out with Frank. If you were recalling correctly, Frank and Daphne’s first sex scene followed soon after.

“Okay, we can do that. Do you have any behind the scene pictures you wanna post too?” Seb got out his phone, scrolling through his camera roll to see. He had several different photos of him with Jamie and then him with Shailene. He showed you his phone on a picture of Shailene leaned against him on a couch, her arm over his waist. A red filter colored the photo, you had to hand it to him, it was a good one to use. “We can post it whenever we get home, love.” Sebastian locked his phone and shoved it in his pocket, to focus solely on you.

“How has your day been, draga mea?” You bit your lip as you thought about what you’ve been doing. You’ve been working towards your Master’s, so your days have been filled with preparing for your dissertation. On top of that, you’ve become a bit of an influencer on different social media platforms. Really, you believe your popularity came from your relationship with Sebastian. You’ve been giving his fans the content that they’ve always wanted. Not only that, but you’re active with them.

“My day was good today. I had to edit a few papers from my other classmates but other than that I didn’t do much. I did make a few TikTok videos, but really today was a bit of a lounge day for me.” Seb smiled at you, proud of how hard you’ve been working.

“I should be getting a few days off soon, so we can relax together in the apartment, if you aren’t too busy with your classes.” He stretched his arm across the table, palm up waiting for your hand. Seb pulled your hand up to his mouth, placing a sloppy kiss onto the back of it. His eyes settled on you lovingly. To Sebastian, you were the greatest thing that had ever happened to him.

The two of you managed to finish your meal in peace. No fans came up to Sebastian asking for photos, no paparazzi swarms when you left, just a quiet meal for a normal couple in love. After you got home and you were snuggled in your pajamas alongside Sebastian in your comfortable bed, he handed you his phone to read over his post for his Instagram. The paragraph was sappy, about his time working with Drake, the director, and working with the rest of the cast. Seb always was a softy, never was able to hide it, especially in promo posts.

“It looks good to me. Are you going to post it now? Or wait until tomorrow morning?” Seb debated, he probably should wait and do it tomorrow, but he was most likely going to forget to do it. He clicked post, putting his phone on charge and snuggling into you.

“Thank you for always being there for me, Y/N.” He kissed your jawline, nuzzling his face into your neck. “It really means a lot to me, baby. I love you so much.” He wrapped both hands around your waist, pulling you to his front. You smiled wide, momentarily forgetting all of your troubles.

“I love you too, Seb.” You turned your head slightly, pressing a kiss against the corner of his mouth. “Now let’s get some sleep, love.” Little did you know that a single post could ruin all of the progress that you thought you had made.

*********************

You woke the next morning, alone in bed. You could hear pots clanging in the kitchen of your home, bringing a smile to your face. Before you left the safety of your bed, you checked your socials out of habit. You opened Instagram first, seeing an absurd amount of notifications this early in the morning. Your smile dropped as soon as you opened the first post. Comments on Sebastian’s post about Endings, Beginnings and his chemistry with Shailene weren’t entirely out of the ordinary. They were to be expected, they were playing parts in a love triangle. People were ‘shipping’ Shailene with Seb and Jamie, so that wasn’t too crazy.

What hurt you were the comments saying, “living for shailene and sebastian! she’s a much better match for him than y/n.”

“never thought that y/n girl was going to last, glad he’s going w shailene”

“shailene and seb supremacy”

“yes! i’ve always supported seb in everything he’s done, but i rlly questioned him when he got w that y/n girl. what was he thinking?!”

Tears gathered in your eyes as you continued scrolling. You never thought you and Sebastian never fit. You knew that people had issues with your relationship, but you never let it get in your head this bad. You checked your explore page, pictures of you and Sebastian from last night were riddling the page.

Your heart dropped.

There were pictures of the two of you from last night with parts of your body circled. The exposed skin above your waistband, the excess skin on your neck and arms. You don’t know where they got these pictures, but your stomach was steadily sinking with each picture you saw. The door of your room opened, revealing a smiley Sebastian with a plate full of eggs in one hand and a cup of orange juice in the other.

“Good morning, baby.” You quickly shoved your phone away from you, wiping your tears away from your eyes to meet his. His brows furrowed immediately. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” You snuffled quietly, before answering.

“Uh, nothing. I’m just so proud of you.” You smiled at him, not wanting to bring down his already happy mood with your problems. Was that entirely healthy? Probably not, but you were doing it anyway, consequences be damned.

“Oh, well you don’t have to cry for me, Y/N. Even if you’re proud.” He walked up to your side of the bed, placing the cup and plate on your nightstand. He brought his hand up to your cheeks, wiping away your tear streaks. “You know that I only like to see tears whenever it’s me causing you so much pleasure you beg me to stop.” He winked at you, smirking at your rising blush. To say that didn’t lift your spirits for about half a second would be a lie. Sebastian brought the plate to your lap, waiting for you to start eating. At this particular moment, after seeing all those horrible pictures of your body, your appetite had gone out the window, but he was so smiley.

“After you eat, I want ya to shower.” Sebastian’s hand came up to your jaw, cupping it as you used it to chew the eggs. “We’ve got a long day of lounging and enjoying each other's company ahead of us.” Sebastian stood from the bed, throwing a wink at you as he left the room dramatically. You stopped eating soon after he left, the food tasting like ash on your tongue. At some point, you got into the bathroom, staring at the reflection in the mirror.

Your phone was in your hand again. The pictures flooding your Twitter feed. Shaky breaths left your mouth as you watched your reflection tilt its head. Tears began gathering in your eyes as it felt like you weren’t in your own skin anymore. You had worked so hard to be comfortable in your own body.

It’s amazing how just one picture can ruin everything.

You leaned forward on the countertop, hands holding up your weight. You shifted towards the mirror, examining every miniscule detail that your eyes could see. Your lids came down quickly, tears dragging down your cheeks. You squeezed your eyes closed, shaking your head back and forth.

“You are not going to let this get to you.” You took a few deep breaths as you turned on the shower. Not wanting to be around the mirror anymore, you kept your bath short, talking to yourself the whole time. By the time you left the bathroom, it was steamed completely, you couldn’t see your reflection even if you wanted to.

“He loves you.” You had a mantra and you continued to repeat it as you walked into your shared closet. “He loves all of you.” You pulled one of his old t-shirts off a hanger. “Sebastian loves you.” A pair of your underwear and his loose boxers covered your lower half. “Sebastian loves all of you.” You shoved your feet into a pair of fuzzy pink socks, leaving the closet still muttering to yourself. You tucked your phone into your waistband after checking your socials again. You know you shouldn’t have, but there was some part of you that just wouldn’t let you not.

The same shit covered your For You page on TikTok. Videos from the trailer of Seb and Shailene and then videos of you and Seb, comparing the two relationships. “They do fit well together.” You thought to yourself. A part of you wondering why Seb was with you in the first place.

“Did you say something, love?” Sebastian looked at you from the couch. A blanket was strewn over his lower half, his upper body inviting, waiting for you to join him. His smile dropped when he took in your glassy eyes instead of your usual happy expression.

“Oh baby, what’s wrong?” He started towards you, eyes running over your body for any outward injuries. An understanding look crossed his face when he saw your phone clutched in your hand. “Y/N, talk to me, baby.” Sebastian’s hands rested on your shoulders, lightly caressing your biceps. You recoiled from his touch, feeling uncomfortable in your own body.

“Just some stuff that some fans posted.” Seb’s thumb traced just under your eye, wiping away the tears. He held his right hand out for your phone, to understand what you were talking about. His brows furrowed deeply as he scrolled, not fully processing how destructive his fans could be. Sebastian always believed that they were the best fucking people in the world. He knew that they could be mean, but this was something else.

“They don’t know what they’re talking about, Y/N.” Sebastian’s voice was firm. It was almost strong enough to cut through the fog invading your brain, but not quite. You had officially zoned out. Dead to the world. Lost in your own thoughts. No matter how destructive those thoughts may be.

Sebastian noticed that you were already too deep, having experienced this with you many times before. He was aware that you were self-conscious, insecure, however you want to describe it. Your anxiety always got worse when you were stressed. Prepping for your dissertation was definitely a stressful time. Add on top of that, Sebastian was constantly pulling you from your work for various reasons. Had he contributed to this? Scratch that thought, he didn’t have time for that. He needed to bring you back down to Earth, back to him.

“Y/N.” His hands hovered over your hips. “I’m going to touch you for a second.” He directed you to the couch, settling on the coffee table in front of you. His fingers lightly traced circles onto your knees, as he assessed how he should approach this.

“Y/N. Baby?” Sebastian hesitated before bringing his fingers up to your chin, not wanting you to react badly. “I’m right here, Y/N, it’s Sebastian.” His left hand hadn’t left your knee, continuing to trace small patterns into your skin, giving you something to ground yourself with. He watched you blink and swallow harshly, inhaling sharply before opening your mouth.

“Why are you with me?” Your chin trembled with unvoiced sobs. “You deserve the world, Seb. I’m not even--” Your sentence was cut off by a loud whimper causing tears to start streak down. Sebastian wasn’t sure if this was a situation where you wanted him to be involved, so he waited for a sign.

“I’m not even worth a glance from you.” Your hand came up to wipe at your runny nose. “They’re so right. You need to be with someone like Shailene.” A bitter sob racked your body, making your body fold in half. Sebastian caught you before you hurt yourself.

“Y/N. I love you.” He always heard you say that to yourself when you thought he wasn’t listening. He knew that you suffered from anxiety, so he was always watching. Always paying attention to your little cues. The little things that he could use to help you as much as he could. “I love all of you.” He held one of your hands, running his thumb over the back of it.

“I don’t care what they say, baby.” He lifted your face to his, steel blue eyes locking with your cloudy pair. “I picked you.” He pecked your right cheek. “I want you.” A peck to your left. “I want only you.” One to your forehead. “It’s always been you, Y/N.” Another on your chin. “I love all of you, Y/N.” Sebastian landed a final short kiss to your lips, lingering for only a second.

“I want you to understand something, Y/N.” His gaze never left you. “I’m not going anywhere.” His brows raised as he hardened his voice. “I’m especially not going anywhere at the behest of my fans. I love them to death, but they don’t get to decide who I love.” Sebastian shifted to sit next to you on the couch. “Is it okay if I put my arms around you?” All he got was a brief nod in return, which was expected.

“I’m yours, Y/N. As much as you’re mine.” His arms descended around you, wrapping you in a loving embrace. You turned to face him fully, bringing your own arms around his waist, shoving your head into his neck.

“I’m sorry you have to deal with all my shit, Seb.” Sebastian almost missed your comment because you spoke into his shoulder and through loud snuffles. He backed away to look you in the face.

“I signed up for this, Y/N. I’m here for whatever we go through.” He tucked a stray hair behind your ear. “We go through ‘your shit’ together, Y/N. This is a partnership, a two-way street.” He looked at the weak smile on your face, heart warming slightly at the sight. His face turned serious, casting a glance at your phone on the coffee table.

“How long have you been sitting on this?” He knew how quickly your mind could twist things, so he wasn’t sure what to expect. You bit your lip, not meeting his eyes anymore.

“Just since this morning.” He held you away from his body, watching your expression.

“Is this why you were crying earlier?” You gave him a meek nod in response. “Baby, I thought we talked about this. We have to talk to each other when we think we’re going to go into a funk.” The two of you had talked about it before, but you didn’t think this was going to be a funk.

“I should’ve been able to just shake this off because I know you love me and you won’t leave me because of something that some people on the Internet say.” The words left your mouth before you could process everything, your mind quick to defend itself.

“It’s okay, Y/N. You don’t always have to be able to shake something off. We just have to keep each other in the loop.” Sebastian looked over your tear-stained face, pressing a kiss to your forehead again. “Let’s ditch the phones today. Just spend the day in each other’s arms, how’s that sound?” You smiled softly, nodding at the man in front of you. He got up quickly hiding both of your phones in the kitchen somewhere.

This definitely wasn’t a solution to dealing with your anxiety, Sebastian knew that. It also wasn’t dealing with the toxic people on the Internet, but you didn’t need that right now. You needed to be immersed in an environment that accepted what you were going through without judgement, Sebastian could provide that. Seb hummed happily when you snuggled into his side under the covers on your couch while he searched for a movie. He kissed the top of your head and he felt you smile against his stomach.

“I’m proud of you, draga mea.” You turned to face him, a confused expression lacing your features.

“For what, Seb?” He stroked your face with a single finger, mapping out your features.

“I’m proud of how you handle yourself. I’m amazed at how strong you are, even when you think you’re not.” He leaned closer to you, whispering his next words. “You’re my hero.” One corner of your mouth twitched upwards, not wanting to accept it. You rolled your eyes playfully, settling back onto his stomach before speaking.

“I love you, Sebastian.”

“And I love you, Y/N.”

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