#this one was more complicated than the others i have done.
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Modern AU: Norton Campbell
You've heard of modern reader? Well now it's time for Modern canon!
- Previously, he worked in the oil industry, but a nasty accident he doesn’t speak about has left him with his fair share of burn scars. Norton now works as an independent contractor, known around town as a do-it-all type of handyman. He rarely works with or for group projects, preferring to be hired directly by property owners for the work they need done. He’s his own boss, and he makes his own schedule, but he’s a workaholic.
- He was raised by his uncle Benny after his parents died when he was still very young—his mother shortly after childbirth, due to complications, and his father in a work-related accident. Benny’s health deteriorated fast, though, and as soon as he was legally able Norton picked up a part-time job to help pay the bills and build a college fund. (Or several, more like, and he was known to bounce around for better pay.)
-Some time in his senior year of high school, he discovered that Benny was keeping secrets; Benny had not only convinced his father to stay in the oil industry after he was born, but wasted and gambled away all the life insurance money from his death. Enraged and betrayed, Norton dropped out of school and left. He drove as far away as he could with the little money he had, and then lived out of his truck for a while. Eventually, he made enough money to rent a shitty little motel room by the week, and then a shitty little apartment.
-After leaving, he at first went into the oil industry like his old man and Benny had been—it was something he was familiar enough with and hard labor paid better than being a busboy again. But after a few years there was an accident which left him with several burn scars. He was left in pain for a long time, but the worker’s comp paid for most of his medical bills and his rent, giving him just enough time to get his GED. After that, he started into construction, plumbing, and other handiman things he was knowledgeable in after years of being poor and self-sufficient.
-The accident, this time, was more of an ACTUAL accident. Norton had a disagreement with some of the coworkers he hated. There was an altercation, and something ignited…and Norton was the only one who got out. He doesn’t talk about it, mostly out of shame and a sense of guilt, but he copes by telling himself they deserved it.
- He drives the same beat-up old pickup truck Benny bought for him as a kid. It was transferred into his name when he was 18, so Benny can’t swipe it from under his nose. (Legally, anyway.) He could probably get a loan and buy a new car, but at this point he prefers to keep the old hunk of junk. Maybe he’s sentimental, or maybe the weekly maintenance he has to do on it is just therapeutic in a way.
-Not a super techy guy. He keeps up with industry news and learns new skills often, but his truck, his phone, and most of his home appliances are older. He’s good enough with fixing things that he hasn’t bothered to replace them.
-He’s not much of a decorator, either, but he’s good at thrifting and building his own furniture with recycled materials. His apartment/home is a bit of a hodgepodge, with mostly bare walls, but what he does have I impressive in its own way. Any décor he has is likely gifted.
-He’d like to own a home one day, but he’s playing things by ear. He realizes that might be asking a lot while he’s got no real support system.
-He’s a fair cook, but a lot of what he makes could be called “struggle meals.” They’re what he’s been used to for a long time.
-He’s a little paranoid about pumping gas into his truck, but he’s gotta do what he’s gotta do. On his days off, he tends to walk to take public transit to save some money and gas mileage.
-He’s that guy with a 7-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, bodywash etc men’s soap. Someone please teach him better ways.
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Mizus Gender
He/him they/them she/her pronouns for Mizu
I know the writers of the show wrote blue eye samurai with Mizu as a woman disguised as a man in a way similar ish to Mulan but uh
They accidentally made it deeper than that ??
If you removed like 2 lines of dialogue in episode 5 you could even make an argument for trans masc Mizu. Or at the least gender queer.
Being transgender is not a concept in this time period. But trust. People have always wanted to be other genders, probably for the entirety of human history. And how someone would go about being trans in a world with no true understanding of the concept, might be similar to what Mizu IS DOING RIGHT NOW.
Living as a man. PERMANENTLY. Not temporarily to achieve some near goal like Mulan and the many other stories with this concept. Mizu has lived as a man nearly their entire life and no intention to ever live as a woman in the future.
Mizu admires their freshly binded chest in the mirror as a teen.
When alone Mizu refers to himself as a man.
When alone with Ringo, (someone who knows the secret) Ringo also refers to Mizu as a man.
Mizu threatens to straight kill Ringo at the the very use of the word “girl”.
When, and ONLY when seeing 2 MEN kiss does he think of Taigen.
Not to mention madame Kajis indelicate insinuation of gay sex to Mizu, something I believe wasn’t for no reason. OR Madams iconic line “you are more man than ANY come through my door” (I’m convinced she has an idea of Mizus true sex but doesn’t care to accuse or call them out for it)
They HAD lived as a woman in the past. Only for about a year, and they did it to get married for her mothers sake. To save her from a life of prostitution. She was able to be happy, because it IS POSSIBLE to be happy while not presenting how you like. It’s a strain and some can never be happy doing so but it’s possible and people do it all the time to make their lives easier or to keep the peace with family or for many other reasons.
Episode 5 gave HUGE VIBES of going back into the closet when living with your parents or just visiting. And Mizu looked SO uncomfortable and awkward in woman’s clothing and doing “wife things” (partly cause they have never done that before) and maybe it was my own projecting but I felt so uncomfortable FOR Mizu.
These things don’t necessarily mean being a transgender man specifically. Gender is actually really complicated and has ALOT to do with what society deems it.
Mizu is a masculine person. Being what Japan wants women to be isn’t in line with what Mizu is. A violent, practical, stoic, cold, masculine, confident and capable warrior.
dressing up as a woman with the makeup ONLY to try and make her husband happy. She didn’t WANT to. “To soften her husbands heart, the bride… danced” performed femininity FOR HIM. Only for Mikio to betray her for, in his eyes, being more masculine than him, by beating him in a physical fight.
Mizu is both the ronin and the bride. Mizu will be whatever they need to in order to achieve their owed deaths. They HAVE to be a man to get their revenge but that doesn’t mean Mizu WANTS to be a woman. (To be fair who WOULD in that time but I digress) and it doesn’t mean they WANT to be a man. They WANT their revenge. Everything is secondary to that.
Mizu is so different from other characters…
I grew up in a kinda misogynistic place and my mom really didn’t let me “do boy stuff” or dress masculine in any sense until my late teens. I my self don’t know if I can even call myself Trans. But I’m masculine, I like looking like a man and dressing as one but I don’t WANT to be a man necessarily. But I don’t WANT to be a woman. I feel like we as a society put to much distinction between the two and the people who don’t fit either side get left out at times.
Mizu is such a relatable character to me, like no other characters complicated feelings about their own sex and gender have ever come close.
They are for those who don’t have a strong sense of their own gender. Especially those who are biologically female and hesitant to lean into their sex because of the societal baggage.
Once people realize that how you dress, how you act, and what you do in reality have nothing to do with your bio sex and everything with what society has forced people to do based on factors out of our control is the day we can finally stop having these conversations.
Do what you want, gender is fake.
But Mizu is forever 🫶
#blue eye samurai#mizu blue eye samurai#bes#mizu#mizus gender#there’s so much more I want to say but I’ve already put out a wall of text.#I WILL block if you come in here with a “nuh uh 🤓#i would write more about her as a woman but I just revolves someone else’s big wall of text about that#read it if your interested they were much better worded than I#he/him bisexual lesbian man
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Claudia being forced into the acting role of a child is so complicated to me because on one hand, she has spent the season so far trying to look more like an adult and trying to feel less trapped in the body of a child so this is definitely going to be traumatic for her, but on the other hand, this coven sees her for the powerful and commanding person she is and immediately put her in a center role on stage (when longer standing coven members just have filler roles) because of that. And I know that valuing her like that should be the bare minimum, but unfortunately that’s more than anyone has ever done for her before.
#iwtv s2#amc iwtv#claudia interview with the vampire#interview with the vampire season 2#interview with the vampire#louis de pointe du lac#the vampire armand#lestat de lioncourt
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A small spider-man 2099 reading guide
Just watched atsv and wondering where to start getting into Miguel O’Hara? Hate trying to figure out comic timelines? Well hopefully this guide can help a little bit. Please note its far from a definitive guide and could probably use some work but I'm hoping it helps someone out!
Also not including spider-verse appearances or those in most other comics, because we could be here forever listing every comic appearance and this is meant to be a quick guide
Miguel's original appearance was in Amazing Spider-Man #365, but that was more of a preview than anything else. I've split it pre-2000's and post-2000's, but listen to me if you have to pick one comic to read out of all of this make it the original 1992 run. You basically cannot go wrong with just reading 1992.
A few have been marked with asterisks because you really don't have to read them but it felt wrong to not include them on the list.
Pre 2000's
Spider-man 2099 (1992): Literally Required Reading. Keep in mind that the last two issues had different writers and are kinda disregarded by just about everyone. Issue #16 starts the crossover event Fall of The Hammer, a mini-guide to which I've included below. The Special and Annual take place in between issues but it's easiest to just read them last.
Spider-Man 2099 Meets Spider-Man (1995): It's short, it's sweet, give it a read.
*2099: World of Tomorrow (1996): At the time this was meant to close off all the 2099 plots, theres lots of other 2099 characters in here but a fair bit of Mig.
*2099: Manifest Destiny (1998): Further closure to the 2099 world, again lots of other characters but still a solid read. Basically waves away the last two issues of sm2099 (1992) in a slightly hilarious way and worth reading just for that.
Fall of the Hammer crossover mini-guide:
Spider-man 2099 (1992) #16
Ravage 2099 #15
X-men 2099 #5
Doom 2099 (1993) #14
Punisher 2099 (1993) #13
Post 2000's
*Superior Spider-man (2013) issues #16-19: Largely set up but its cool too
Spider-man 2099 (2014): You can read this without the Superior Spider-man setup but depending on your prior comic reading experience you may be a bit confused. If you're a seasoned reader and used to taking weird comic shifts in stride due to missing some random issues of a completely different comic you'll be fine
Spider-man 2099 (2015): Solid run, I don't have much to say about it honestly
Marvel's 2099 (2019 event): you are better off looking up a separate guide for this one it is not my ballpark
#spider-man 2099#spiderman 2099#miguel o’hara#miguel o'hara#atsv#<- tagging that one to help people who are just getting into him#spiderman#miguel#sm2099#sm2099 reading guide#spiderverse#fr though read the 1992 run#anyone who knows more than me please feel free to correct me on anything i've just seen some people wanting this and thought i may as well#extra apologies if anyone has done this before but i cannot go in migs tag#<- walking thru hell for real#i felt like i should do this because as a comic character lover all i do is post comic content#by god though if i can convince ONE person to read 1992 run it will be worth it#mig does not have enough comics to truly be as complicated as some other comic characters but i know it can be nice to have it all set out
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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not until i started reading restoration and post-restoration plays written by women like aphra behn and susanna centlivre did i fully understand romantic comedy on another level. the male love interests are just built better. like as much as i love a midsummer night's dream, if i were hermia i would never risk death or a forced life in a nunnery for lysander. no. hell no. he's just ken. but if i were miranda would i risk my thirty-thousand-pound inheritance to elope with sir george airy? if i were leticia would i contemplate leaving behind my country and my hated old husband i was tricked into marrying the second i learn that belmour is still alive, to live with his banished ass in exile? hm. let me thin—yes.
#text post#tales from diana#aphra behn#susanna centlivre#the busybody#the lucky chance#i think i enjoyed the men and the relationships in the lucky chance moreso than i did in the rover or the feigned courtesans#(the other two behn plays i've read so far)#i loved her characterizations of the women in both plays of course but i didn't quite feel myself in their situations#it was also quite more reliant on the same character archetypes#the modest one ends up with the selfless lovesick hero and the more innocent libertine one ends up w a reformed dashing rake.#and i'm ok w that right? like those tropes make sense. the plots and the witty dialogue are still enjoyable#but i find the lucky chance really upped the stake of the melodrama as well as the foils between the two main couples were more complex#you have one very melodramatic honest couple (leticia and belmour) who narrowly escape ruinous disaster#and then lawfully make their love official (most luckily BEFORE leticia has slept w fainwould and consummated the marriage)#and then you have the much more complicated and comical relationship between mr. gayman and julia fulbank#lady fulbank's marriage is done and done. no averting it. but she unabashedly carries a torch for him#she admits as much to her husband that she still loves him and she doesn't really care who knows#but she wants to be honorable to her marriage bc that's the lot she's chosen in life—his material comfort#and she does use that to the benefit of gayman when he's in financial ruin.#but her two stupid men. her lover and her husband. more or less work together to make her work against her own honorable wishes#she's compromised. and she SORT of gets what she really wants. she willfully foreswears the bed of her gross husband forever#and it's ambiguous whether or not she chooses to cuck him for gayman while he's still alive or what#very interesting ambiguous ending and i've never seen another character quite like lady fulbank in literature from that time#the lucky chance is worthy of far more study and interest than it's received. it's so funny and incredibly challenging#also. men don't hide in treasure chests enough anymore#more plots where men hide in treasure chests. thank you cymbeline by shakespeare and the lucky chance by behn. you guys got it
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Yara, who are your 3 besties?
"Hmm... It's hard to pick "besties" but I do have a few friends-- outside my brothers on the Whitebeard Pirates and the special bonds I've formed with Ace and Yamato-- that I'm particularly close with.
I met Ghost Princess Perona on Kuraigana Island. She helped me a lot during the worst moment of my life just by hanging out with me and keeping me distracted from my pain. I didn't really have any friends that were girls my age before her. It was always a fun game for us during those two years to try to trick Zoro into taking a bath more than once a week.
Masked Deuce-- as he is known-- was the vice-captain of the Spade Pirates, Ace's first crew, as well as Ace's best friend, so naturally, we became close, too. Deuce isn't a pirate anymore; he's off pursuing his dreams of becoming a writer. Every now and again, we touch base and he sends me a manuscript of whatever he's been working on for me to provide some feedback.
Okiku is... Well, she's beautiful, and kind, and an amazing swordswoman; everything I hope to be one day. I respect and look up to her a lot. We've been spending a lot of time together while I'm still in Wano, which has been very nice."
Ask Yara (or any of my OCs) anything!
#oc: bravada yara#ask yara#my ocs#my art#asked and answered#i had to exclude the wbp plus ace and yamato because that would be too easy#also zoro because they are friends and rivals and cousins all in one and that just gets a lil too complicated lol#i haven't done too many crossovers with her and other ocs but i'm sure she would be besties with a lot of ocs out there#and if you have any crossover ideas you are more than welcome to share!#i love doing crossovers!
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If she kills herself, it’ll be the 4th suicide that I could have possibly prevented but didn’t. At what point does it become killing? When do I need to go back to being mute?
#…#it’s not as if I’m encouraging it or mentioning it. it’s more complicated than that. it’s about series of choices with someone. it’s hard.#I don’t understand others. and I don’t feel comfortable with them. I don’t feel like we’re the same thing. yet I want to protect people.#but I was born in the shadow of a baby’s death and keep watching them die around me. and I know I could have done something.#‘ah. I could have done this. I could have said this. if only I wasn’t being this way….next time’ but next time doesn’t come.#because it’s a whole new person. and I can’t understand people. the other one died. I can’t understand the diversity like others so well.#like that little baby bunny I was holding and could kill with one finger. I want to hunch over and protect and put them where they should be#for some reason. idk why. it feels like a pain and bother but I feel like my ‘love’ for others is based on a desire to serve others as#someone not human who sees more than they do but can’t understand them. my downfall.
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i just need everyone to know once in a while of meikerio okay
dress up games i know people love them! and theres website right there! have fun!
#i forget how. much detail u can put into these but#i know u can just keep adding things#and u can update ur game if u add new items (as i frequently... forget to update mine. im so sorry.)#i have like... 2 others i was doing of my ocs of fusionfall#i did try thinking of like. making an entire fusionfall creator on there bUT UH... OHO... oh#thats an ambition maybe one day#i cant exactly add more than one body type without SO MUCH... LAYERS...#and complications with that#i have asked if there was a way with their program.. u can get creative with that#but id have to redraw every item just accommidate#an ambition too big. for now.#i may have like put my item reference guide on hold but know. I know now how to access that#i think i was almost done getting everything#altho id have to go into academy or something probably#i think they had other items not in the future server but i could be wrong about that one#*proceeds to go on a rambling of fusionfall fashion and items that she had a catalogue of just because theres WAS LITERALLY no references*#like unless it was a popular item/ beginnger thing#good LUCK but dont worry! i have it all#aside retro. i could ask someone to help with that. expand my reference guide#i think there was a few original ones they added in retro?? they added nanos i assume so#i seem to recall that a few got in#i think they were just gonna do away with gendered items in general i think???#theres a few sets where there IS difference like in the battle ready armor#(when there shouldnt have been)#anyway! i have too much fusionfall knowledge about things
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hi gang! i know it's been,,,,, literally years since i started working on my fairy tail rewrite but i do want to assure anyone still interested that it is still something i'm working on. however, perhaps unsurprisingly, a lot has changed since i first started the project, so i wanted to give some updates on things people have expressed interest in in the past:
-i toyed with the idea of aro/ace erza for a while and while i do genuinely love the concept, i ultimately decided that it wouldn't really fit into what i want to do with her character. so tragically i can't fulfill this initial idea. i'm a little disappointed myself tbh but i actually really like what i came up with for her part of the story, so... hope this wasn't what anyone was looking forward to the most.
-when i first mentioned rewriting ft, i said there'd be no fanservice. however, having thought about it for some time, fairy tail is a series where somewhat dirty jokes have been since the start, and i don't think it's entirely fair to get rid of it altogether just bc the last couple of arcs forgot to do anything else. i will however promise that no one is going to be less important than their own boobs.
-the relationship between gajeel and team shadowgear will absolutely still be important, but i don't intend to put gajeel or levy in a relationship with anyone, including each other. this isn't really about whether i like the ships involved or not; it's just that i actually ended up putting a bit more of a spotlight on this little faction than i'd intended to (tbh i'd been pretty sure gajeel and levy would have somewhat more minor roles, but fortunately it looks like they'll stay major supporting characters)
-lucy and her family are going to be marginally more complicated than what we got in canon, and while i don't plan to give away too much too soon, there might be some hints towards what's really going on there significantly before i actually unveil my masterpiece (i am ngl so so SO happy with my version of the heartfilia family. i feel like it's both somewhat original and also fits within the world of fairy tail. idk if anyone else is going to be enjoying keeping up with the heartfilias as much as me but i sure hope so. whoa boy)
-natsu spends a lot more time looking for igneel. not like 100% absolutely dedicated nothing else matters or anything (bc that's just not natsu), but it is his main motivation throughout a good chunk of the story, so i'm hoping to bring that into play a bit more.
-i've been pretty clear on this part since the beginning, but ultear and siegrain are going to play a much bigger role in the early parts of the story. this is both bc i adore their dynamic and bc crime sorcière is unfortunately not going to happen. just getting that part out of the way now. as much as i adore them, it just doesn't work here. i don't intend for them to usurp the story or anything, but they definitely have a much bigger and more direct impact on the plot. also like reasons for doing things and better publicity than most of the rest of the council.
-i simply am not going to have the time to give natsu's parents the screentime they deserve, but i promise to give them as much as i possibly can. unfortunately, they really don't matter all that much in term's of natsu or zeref's parts in the story, but there are a couple of other characters with fairly strong ties to them, so it's not like i'm going to ignore them entirely
-cubellios is and will forever remain a snake. hiss hiss
-none of the other manga side stories (including 100 year quest) are going to be taken into account whatsoever. i simply do not care <3
-zeref and mavis's relationship is deeply, DEEPLY important to the plot, but it absolutely isn't romantic at all, so sorry if you were hoping it would be. also i tried my best to make mavis significantly more interesting (plus yuriy, warrod, and precht. especially precht)
-none of the big 4 ships will happen. this isn't due to me not liking them for the most part (i mean, i don't but tbh that really isn't relevant here; i have no problem with writing for ships i don't ship myself if it works with the story), it's either bc it doesn't fit into these versions of the characters or it just didn't end up happening. i know this is gonna put some people off, but i hope you'll give it a try anyway once it's done; i ended up trying out a few things i'd never thought about before and really enjoying them, so hopefully i won't be alone in that.
-the celestial spirits are currently one of my bigger roadblocks writing-wise bc while they're also very important to the story, they rarely get enough screentime to showcase anything other than their powers and One Quirky Trait. and there are so dang many of them; it's kinda hard to balance. however, i know what i want to do with them in the long run, so it's more a matter of getting them there and not having them effectively turn into lucy's somewhat talkative pokémon. also, the spirits aren't property– they've made a contract with their wielder, and this is very very relevant. they are also not human. you may want to keep those two things in mind.
-if a character dies and you see their body and their body is definitely 100% checked-their-pulse-and-tried-cpr dead, that character is dead. it's a fantasy story, so i'm not going to pretend there's no possible way to un-die, but i will say this: consider whether or not dying a likely-traumatic death and then coming back is a good thing.
-there will be ocs. this is basically unavoidable due to what few changes i've made, but i'm hoping they'll at least be enjoyable ocs. most of them shouldn't be relevant for a while anyway
-there are, and i cannot stress this enough, characters that may for some reason have something to gain from lying to the heroes. or to other villains. or to themselves. characters lie, or twist the truth, or are wrong, or a bajillion other things.
-whoever you're expecting the final badguy to be, you're wrong
-lastly, and this is easily the most important, i have completely changed irene's character design to one of mashima's concept art versions of her. if you've never seen it, here's the piece of that sketch collection i'm talking about:
^that's my irene. love me some unhinged old ladymom
#ek3 writes#long post#seriously this is a very long post so if you don't care i won't judge you for not looking BUT#there is a hot old lady at the end. as a treat#fairy tail rewrite#ek3 rewrites ft#fairy tail#genuinely the older version of irene is both much more interesting and just generally hotter than any of the others#oh yeah she also isn't a dragon belserion is just her surname there's no dragon involved and she's not like a bajillion years old#there are other characters that are way older than they look but they aren't anybody's mom#....actually mommy issues are something of a theme now that i think about it#canon!ft: wow look at all the daddy issues#ftr: lol. lmao. lmom#also like i have some subplots that i KNOW no one has ever done anything with before#baby i'm putting relationships between characters who've never even looked at each other#this shit's getting ~COMPLICATED~#family is confusing and distressing just go join a wizard guild and have adventures#also for anime fans– edo!lisanna's body never disappeared; there is a corpse in lisanna's grave#i don't even consider that a spoiler tbh
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#christ. so i was selected as the top candidate for the program i interviewed with on Friday#and im very annoyed and very pleased and also annoyed that im pleased#im pleased bc it means that they were impressed with what ive done to this point and they think i communicate well. which is cool#and the project is very very cool and id love to work on it#am annoyed bc this does put pressure on me to accept bc they can only put one student forward so if i dip out then thats it for them#which i find extremely stressful. and everything is just so much more complicated if i go to the uk for a phd#and i dont get the luxury of faffing about and taking a bunch of classes like i could in the us. ugh but it would b so cool to go back to#the uk and i wouldn't have to fucking drive. ugh. this project.#ugh its like my boss said#sometimes the project is more worth it than the school. id have crazy cool opportunities to learn things on this project#but at the cost of taking a lot of classes in the us. but every project is what u make of it#but im so fucking dyslexic thst its hard to learn outside a classroom bc i cant concentrate and i dont have a person talking me thru the#info. so idk idk. hopefully when i visit the other school ill kno how i feel#god but i loved living in the uk. and i could travel so much more freely there bc the trains and all that. im so fucking restricted bc im#so terrified of driving. i dont have good reaction speed and i space out too much and i get intrusive thoughts#sigh... but id be a whole 24hrs of travel away from my family instead of the 10hrs thst i am now#so id probably only get to see them once a year maybe? in contrast to 2 or 3 times#and im just worried something terrible will happen and then ill be like fuck i wasted all my time making myself miserable so far away#idk. im so tired. we had like a mile abd a half hike out to a site one way and we left at 7.30 got back at like 4#it was a long fucking day. and im tried. and i have no filter. and when i talk too much it really annoys me#also! i got confirmation that i fucking suck at recording data. wow im so shocked. its basically designed for me to be terrible at#but its still slightly embarrassing. like srry i fucked up ur data. i cant write words correctly#literally i kept writing my Ls upside down today. why? idk that not how i see them. my brain just cant make Language right lol#whatever. my parents r calling tomorrow and i can info dump at them abt my dyslexia knowledge and my academic knowledge of biblical history#bc instead of listening to anything useful to my job. i choose to listen to lectures on neurology and theology. bc fucking idk#its interesting im relearning my bible lore from a non religious perspective. theology is fucking fascinating. ugh anyway#i shoulf sleep im so fucking tried#unrelated
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All the people who are like 'participating in politics does nothing!' like politicians make me mad with rage too with their spineless bullshit and hypocrisy and the rest, and no, they never do near enough and that's very frustrating, and many of them are greedy fucks who would betray us over their own interests in a heartbeat, but it's still a very bad sign to go 'don't vote it's useless' because the revolution isn't going to happen if you can't even participate in the democratic process in your own country and that nihilistic attitude does nothing but hand your country (general you, this goes for all of us) over to fascists, and it's very hypocritical to act like there hasn't been a lot of progress with anti-racism, pro-women, pro-lgbt (among others!!) legislation that was passed in the last 100 years, and that was all due to pressuring the right politicians into it. You don't have to like the politicians, they're not your friends, you just have to pressure them into doing what you want. So, yes, pressuring the right politicians leftwards and keeping them in power is how we've had a lot of very important legislation passed! So, participate in politics, it's literally the least you can do (of course, please do more).
#the right shows up to vote every single fucking time they aren't divided by petty issues like we are#they have a single minded goal#and they organize and they get it done#the left meanwhile can't even put aside their differences for even one second#like in my own country i have issues eith every leftist party for one reason or other#i like podemos more except for their neoliberal bullshit when it comes to women's rights#and psoe is a bit more like traditional feminism which is good but for the rest they're so establishment they hurt#and they've had their major share of fuck ups#but I've gone every single time because it's literally five minute of my time#yes politicians should always do better#but they'll never be perfect politics and international diplomacy is too complicated a business not to fuck it up#but I'd still rather the people who are currently working in Spain to pass the Nordic model to expand lgbt rights who've expanded maternity#leave etc#I'd still rather they be in power than the party who denies violence against women is real and wants to forbid it to talk about lgbt ppl#in schools and wants to start chiping over at our right to marriage#and I don't care how assimilationist or neoliberal that right to a patriarchal construct is i deserve it#call me when you get rid of all marriage#oh i forgot a higher minimum wage among the reforma
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Ok the characters for round 2 are ready I just gotta make the Bracket after work tomorrow, I'll try to have it ready for Tuesday
#rattalks#im sorry for being very slow and also terrible but i am Learning#but i promise once I get this done the rest will go much faster#there are like three ways i can set up the bracket so i gotta pick one#it can be completely random#seeded with the approximate votes from round one (sucks for the smaller characters tho)#or using the approximate votes to put them in kinda order so the big guys kill each other and the small ones have a chance#im making this much more complicated than it needs to be#i tend to do that tbh
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Finally! Vindication for my boy Anders.
#dragon age inquisition#Anders#da anders#Anders dragon age#Tiva Hawke#though HIGH key judging the dev team for making the /MOST/ positive thing a Hawke set to ‘romance-saved-condoned actions’ is ‘he’s#complicated. not like people say. he isn’t just a monster or a hero. or maybe he’s both. he was trying to change the world. he knew it#couldn’t happen peacefully’ UHM?? is ‘condone’ a joke to you? in DA2 my Hawke got to straight up say she’d have helped him if she knew /in/#the text of the game? devs for Inquistion chopped their balls off ethically speaking. what happened to allowing us the freedom to have an#opinion other than ‘centrist all the way’ or ‘I’m evil’??? like. >.>#her real text would be ‘A good person under too much pressure alone for too long. he was fighting a war in isolation for years and he ran#out of time. Sometimes the good options all leave and you’re stuck with bad and worse. he did what no one else was willing to do to make the#world a better place. maybe if I’d done more it could have been different. But what’s done is done. Someone acted and the world /has/#changed. he was right. I only wish he hadn’t felt the need to do it alone. I wish I hadn’t made him feel that.’#he WAS right and there was literally no better way by the end of Act 3! there was the right of annulment ALREADY sent for before the chantry#AND Justinia was taking an exalted march! there were no better doors left. change only comes through the use or threat of force sorry but#no vile power structure has EVER changed in history bc you asked super nicely. you have to apply pressure to move something. he was right.#and he made the world better and it’s going to keep getting better too
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The Monster Falls Apart & The Monster Exposed: forehead kisses and touches
#the monster falls apart#the monster exposed#ogeretsu tanaka#hadakeru kaibutsu#revisted this series because it's both hot AND heartbreaking AND fulfilling (and idc for her more recent series sdfhfnf)#anyways I really love kan-chan. I love the way his story is told from multiple POVs and how his character changed over time#I love how his story with Yumi is not just a black and white 'this person is evil this person is a helpless victim' story because it's more#complicated than that. it's about the cycle of abuse and about trauma and about how both of them were not right for each other.#sometimes loving someone isn't enough and you can't magically make them go back to the person they used to.#like I think Yumi stayed out of guilt and a false sense of pride even when he was for all intents and purposes emotionally cheating#and I think the biggest act of love Kan-chan was still capable of at that time was letting Yumi go and breaking up with him.#And then there's Shuuna. ah man. I like that he's sooo out of his depth lol#he's soo in love and he has no idea how to tackle the whole mess that an older Kan-chan is but like#the love they have for each other and the way they DO manage to get through to each other? yea.#you can really feel the difference in maturity at times and that's also a really well done characterization!!#I liked the one author's comment where it's said about him that he went through love on easy mode until he met Kan-chan haha#also the flashbacks... that's a lotta baggage. like I don't blame Yumi for not knowing and it makes sense Kan-chan won't forgive himself#but still. he was never just some evil guy who did that shit out of pure malice when he was experiencing so much abuse and pressure.#(which doesn't make his actions any more okay but it makes his character more complicated and tragic.)#oh and one final thing I love about this series and the connected stories: the thing about life is that it goes on and the people who leave#our lives still continue living in this world. and you may choose or just happen to never meet again.#and no matter who hurt who the memories of each other will remain. the bad. but also the good.#and hopefully you get to continue on making new- making good memories.
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Think "necessity" of evil in the ultimate doing of good ("For God judged it better to bring good out of evil than not to permit any evil to exist"); sin/failure for the sake of elevation, personal and otherwise, and how each of the characters "falls" so that good may come of it somehow, be it in general knowledge, assistance in pursuing good or personal enlightenment.
I'm far too lacking in dogmatic understanding to pursue this specific angle of investigation the way I'd like to and it's driving me crazy.
#vincent the traitor who releases adriel and later repents yes - but this ultimately brings us to reya#who would've stayed in shadow otherwise and hidden the danger she represents. oh the blood that was shed#but the progression of history has required it always and a few cardinals slain in a hotel are a small price to pay#suzanne the prideful who must be bent into accepting and trusting the women around her eventually#who followed by shannon the wronged (innocent?) precipitates the rise of ava#ava whom suzanne also aids and could not have done so had she not fallen#beatrice the forsaken who carves a path towards herself by using her pain#and without whom the designated saviour would never be able to save anyone of course#mary the abandoned who pays for the sins of her mother and thus buys herself the family she needs#jillian the relentless whose curiosity is fed in morsels at the exchange of human life#but who does gain glimpses at Something and who does become more human herself through loss#lilith the heir whose arrogance costs her more than one family but who might well lead the way to new life#michael the lamb who dies so ava may find her own way towards achieving her goal#i know this isn't exactly dogmatic but still; i'm caught up with nathaniel hawthorne see#read the marble faun and you will understand where this is coming from#i remember being struck by how in starz' spartacus every single character action brought on new disaster#but here in warrior nun - as much as disaster is part of it - there seems to be a light at the end of each tunnel in a way#complications arise one after the other but there are gains along the way#i shall ponder a good while more#if for no other reason than babbling in the tags like this is unacceptable#i was raised a civilised woman and i will write cohesive ordered texts like one! (eventually!)#analysis and similar#exercises in observation
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