#this mess just passes by soon bc im really tired of seeing them sad and hurt when they dont deserve this ugh gonna go cry myself to sleep | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

justsomefluff · 4 years

Note

hello!! i found your blog not so long ago and i already love it so much, i was wondering if (if your request are open) you could do an ateez reaction to their s/o crying/pouting because they(atz) got jealous and they were ignoring their s/o (almost like the hwa reaction to you dancing w/ another member) 🥺 i love your blog so much.. hope your staying safe!!! 🤍

Okay, my sweet anon, this ended up being shorter than I originally wrote it bc it got deleted last time but I think I hit all the important stuff anyway! Also, I appreciate the positivity and I hope you are staying safe as well! <3

Summary: Ateez gets jealous of your conversation with another member. During a group dinner. Since they are feeling neglected, they decide to give you a taste of your own medicine.

Hongjoong:

Okay so Hongjoong is totally calm about his bitterness

Like he’s definitely staring daggers at whichever member you’re talking to

But other than throwing a dirty glance in their direction every once in a while

No one will even be able to notice that he’s remotely upset about anything

I think that he’s probably used to covering his emotions well since he’s the leader and he feels like he needs to be the most mature and stuff

That can lead him to being kind of reserved about his emotions though and that might bug some people

And so when you finally start giving him some attention

He’s gonna turn away from you and just flat out pretend he cant hear you

But when you finally get home at the end of the night and you’re sulking because he hasn’t said a word to you since before dinner

He starts to feel hella guilty

Like he never wants to hurt you but his jealousy really just took control of him that night for some reason

And if you’re making big, sad eyes at him and following him like a puppy as he does his nightly routine…

He’s done for

But I feel like once you actually start having a conversation, he’s very good at keeping it from turning into an argument

Good at “I feel” statements you know?

But both of you recover from this rather quickly and just make it up to each other by snuggling for the rest of the night

Seonghwa:

So Seonghwa is the type to act normal enough that the guys won’t notice that anything is wrong

But you know him well enough to know that he’s being kind of cold to you for some reason

And if you notice he’s being super low-key rude to another member then you can kind of connect the dots and understand why he’s upset

He will never let any of the guys see his anger though

Mostly because he’s the oldest and he feels that responsibility to them to only show them his good side if he can help it

So he will talk to you, but only like one word at a time

And he’ll brush you off if you touch him

But he will disguise it by reaching for food or something

He’s good at this okay

But if you just keep staring at him and the guys notice enough to ask you what’s wrong, then he’ll tell you to fake it til you get home

And you do because you don’t want to upset him more yk

And when you get home though, you’re almost in tears bc hiding it like that was so exhausting and painful

When he sees you starting to break a little, then he’s hugging you

Like .5 seconds to cross the room to get to you okay

Drama Mama Hwa to Protective Boyfriend Hwa that quick

He’ll explain why he was upset and you’ll explain your side as well

And once you’re finished, you’re both calm and forgiving about it

Even if you don’t fully understand each others point of view, you get it enough to let it go

Then you both just pass out together bc emotions are tiring

But you definitely wake up with smiles on your faces the next morning

Yunho:

(this is how he sulks at you okay its adorable, i just wanna give him the world)

this jealous baby

Like did you guys see that video of him and Wooyoung eating cheese tteokbokki like San was just tryna help no need to get your boxers in a bunch sweetie

But anyways, I digress

If he’s jealous, he’s gonna let you know straight out the gate

Like he’ll literally tap you on the shoulder and then act like he did nothing

And at first you’re like aw cute he’s being playful

But really he just wants you to know he’s ignoring you on purpose

Like how dare you not notice that Im ignoring you purposefully… He’s not gonna put in all this effort just for you to not notice okay

And when your brain finally connects those dots its like ugh

But Yunho is easy to break okay

Like the second you pay him even a lick of attention he’s so happy

Its just really hard for him to stay upset

But dammit he’s gonna try his best to keep it up until he thinks you have both neglected each other for an equal amount of time

But both of you are kinda clingy

So even if you both know this won’t last for very long, you still get kinda sad about it

And the second your lip juts out and you’re pouting

He’s smooshing your cheeks and just going “aigooooooo” and babying you and stuff

All the other members are disgusted but they’re just jealous okay I said what I said

Yeosang:

(Kang Yeosang character summary: will ignore you for chicken)

Okay I don’t think Yeosang is the type to ignore you on purpose

He just gets really in his head when he’s jealous and gets quiet

And I feel like we see more of Yeosang’s quiet side rather than his expressive side

So maybe he’s shyer about emotions? Idk this is all speculation anyway

So if he’s in his head, he’s definitely not trying to hurt you or anything

He’s just thinking about everything and feeling neglected and insecure

Poor baby

Like he’s only gonna notice that you’re sad about him ignoring you once youre alone

Bc nothing else can distract him from you aw

And if you’re even the slightest bit teary, all of his insecurities fly out the window

Like all his focus will be on making you feel better

And when you say that you’re upset bc he was ignoring you

He’ll literally be like… you were ignoring me tho???

Also he strikes me as the type to laugh in serious situations so he will deadass burst out laughing

Like full on cackling

You’re half crying and just staring at him like ??? Wtf???

And he’s like WE IGNORED EACH OTHER HAHAHA

What the hell’s so funny about that you absolute crackhead

But then youre laughing too bc you realize that this entire situation is kind of ridiculous anyway

And both of you get over just like that, and spend the rest of the night giving each other all the love and affection you have to spare

San:

Okay San’s type of jealousy is more aggressive I think

Like not that he’s aggressive towards anyone about, just it impacts him way more than anyone else

So it can really take a toll on your relationship sometimes

But I do feel like, if he’s gonna ignore you, it’s only gonna be while you’re in front of the members

But as soon as you get home, all the emotions are gonna come out at once

Like as soon as you step through the door, word vomit all over the place

And if you’re eyes are glossy too then both of you are gonna end up crying

And neither of you are really sure why you’re crying, you’re just soft babies okay

But I do think that San is more accusatory in these situations

Like a lot of “you did this” instead of “this is how I feel”

So it can start arguments sometimes

This time though, you’re both just emo and soft

Since you’re both a little bit weepy, you’re both just apologizing profusely

but neither of you really know why you’re sorry

You just are

And no formal resolution is reached because you both fall asleep all cozied up to each other with tears drying on both of your faces

And you wake up in the morning, kind of giggling at each other

All the negativity got washed out of your systems anyway :)

Mingi:

this BABY

he’s jealous but if he ignores you omg

its so hard for him to do

god like he's not even good at it

like he’s ignoring you but still holding your hand??

like how does that work

but anyway, even if you're pouting at him and stuff

he will be the one who ends up crying

like “why did you ignore meee”

and you're like... I didn't even realize I was??

so you decide to tell him what you and the members were talking about

and then all of a sudden, he’s distracted

like “ooh that interesting”

tell me more

or if it was a debate he’ll pick a side and have a full discussion with you

or if he agrees with you, he will playfully diss the other members for being wrong lmao

basically, just distract him and everything will be all set

just don't make a habit of ignoring him bc then he will really feel unloved and no one is allowed to hurt my Minnie

Wooyoung:

So, Wooyoung is more exaggerated with the way he expresses his emotions

And we all know that I mean we’ve seen it

So when he gets jealous, he feels it in his chest

Then those emotions bubble up and come out in the form of hysterics

So he goes extra crazy for a little bit

Like not showing anger or anything, just being excessively crackheadish

And obviously not giving any of that attention to you

You notice it immediately

Like if he’s super excited, he always gives you most of his attention bc he really wants to share that happiness with you

But if he’s ignoring you, its really obvious

And you really feel the hurt bc its like… he never acts like this normally

So once you get home you’ve pretty much had it

Like your eyes are welling up and he’s just kind of looks at you like “oh nooooooo, I done messed up”

And he’s holding you and apologizing and being sweet and explaining why he did it

Literally swears up and down he will never do it again

Bc when he feels guilty it’s overwhelming for him too

Especially when it comes to you

So you end up snuggling each other the whole night to make up for the time you lost ignoring each other

Jongho:

Jongho is definitely more reserved about his emotions and we see that a lot

I feel like its probably because he’s the youngest and he doesn’t want his hyungs to think he’s immature or incapable of handling his emotions

So he is gonna try to maintain that tough facade in front of his members at all costs

And they won’t really notice if you guys are having problems bc I feel like he tends to keep things about your relationship more private in front of them anyway

So if he’s ignoring you, the other guys will just assume that he’s trying to keep being tough

No one is allowed to see Jongho soft okay

But you will be seeing him turn soft the second he notices that you’re hurting

If he notices that you’re upset when you’re with the guys, he will take you home early

The second you’re alone, protective and soft Jongho combine to form that side of him the guys arent allowed to see

He hates that he’s the reason you’re feeling hurt

Will try literally anything to make you feel better

He is not gonna stop touching you and holding you and babying you all night

Has to be in contact with you in some way or he’ll cry

But either way he’s gonna be the best boyfriend to make up with

Bc he behaves this way after every conflict you have

Forever a sweetheart

#ateez #ateez fanfic #fanfic #ateez fluff #fluff #ateez angst #ateez reactions #reactions #ateez scenarios #scenarios #ateez imagine #imagine #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez san #ateez mingi #ateez jongho

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miracvlovs · 3 years

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✗✗✗ you see [ kaleb yıldırım ] around lately? yeah i heard that the [ cis male ] is up to no good. [ he / him ] has been here for [ five years ] now but they’re still pretty [ abrasive ] which is fine because they’re also [ debonair ] so it balances out. the [ twenty-eight ] year old [ hitman for hire ] actually looks like a lot like [ alperen duymaz ], don’t you think? it’s best to watch out, though, because it’s been said that they’re really into [ strong cigarettes & even stronger whiskey ].

hey, hello, hi, bonjour! s’up buttercups? ‘tis i, your friendly neighbourhood loser chrissie ( a.k.a an irish doofus who is utter plot trash and the actual WORST at keeping track with discord messages, oops ) and i’m super duper excited to be here among you fab human beings! anywho, this is my first kiddo kaleb and he is … how do you say … morally grey. basically his morals are very questionable in every aspect. but! on the plus side, he’s very talented and good at his job even if he is ruthless and callous, oop. he is … the worst and also lowkey messed up inside tbh so pls excuse his blunt and sarcastic nature. plot-wise i’m open to literally anything and everything so come at me with any ideas ya got! i’m always diggity down to spit ball ideas and form some dope connections so pls feel free to invade my ims or hmu on le cord ( chrissie.#9606 ) and we can brainstorm until our heart’s content! if ya wanna, go ahead and light that lil grey heart up red and i’ll shimmy my butt your way for all of the good stuff. anywho, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty, shall we?

fundamentals.

KALEB EMER YILDIRIM — twenty-eight, hitman for hire, + one snarky son of a gun / troubled dude with daddy issues / all issues tbh !

aesthetics ➤ dried blood caked into the grooves of cut knuckles, the lingering scent of smoke and gasoline, silver slivers of past scarring, five o’clock shadow peppering a blunt jawline, discolourations of blue and purple decorating battered hands, a subtle smirk etched upon a devious countenance, calloused fingertips riddled with small paper cuts, dark circles under almost-black eyes, the noise of screeching tires in the middle of the night, a tall stature adorned in all-black attire, ghosts of bruises staining calloused skin green, a scuffed zippo lighter in a pack of marlboros containing only one cigarette, white shirts with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, a sly grin under stormy dark eyes, a sniper on the roof of a deserted building, the roar of a car engine, & clenched, white-knuckled fists.

nicknames. kal.

date of birth. november third.

gender. cis male.

pronouns. he + him.

birthplace. manhattan, nyc.

orientation. bisexual + aromantic.

education. bachelor of music degree obtained from manhattan school of music.

spoken languages. can speak fluent english, turkish, spanish, & french.

negative traits. haughty, abrasive, enigmatic, cynical, temperamental, calculating, hedonistic, distant, sarcastic, & volatile.

positive traits. adept, diligent, charming, resilient, candid, adept, charming, audacious, determined, & resourceful.

strengths. efficient, energetic, self-confident, strong-willed, strategic thinker, charismatic, & inspiring.

weaknesses. stubborn, dominant, intolerant, impatient, arrogant, poor handling of emotions, cold, & ruthless.

talents. piano, retaining information, memory recall, lock-picking, carjacking, hand-to-hand combat, automobile knowledge, tracking people down, & excellent problem-solving abilities.

physiology. dark brown eyes. dark brown hair. six feet, one inch tall. of a lean, broad stature with a straight posture and evident height. has a few silvery scars littered across his skin. has a few tattoos in a few less visible places. is ambidextrous.

psychology. scorpio zodiac. water element. slytherin house. entj-a. chaotic neutral. type eight enneagram. choleric temperament. interpersonal intelligence type. addicted to alcohol, tobacco, prescription drugs, cocaine, and cannabis. suffers from addiction and insomnia. his vices are lust, wrath and pride. his virtues are ... honestly, probably just diligence tbh.

background.

possible triggers : infidelity, divorce, alcoholism, drug abuse, cancer, death, car crash, funeral, blood, murder, suicide mention, gun mention, & various references to death and murder.

a synopsis. ah, here he is—my tol, troubled, grouchy son : ' ) don't u just adore ur resident trashy, snarky, but precious and sad fuckboi muse? bc i know I DO! anyways, before i digress, i'll cut to the chase. so, waaay before he blessed the universe with his presence, his mother ( who was originally from turkey ) moved to the states where she met one alexander hale. you can probably guess the rest: the pair married, they had children, everything seemed to be going swimmingly, yada yada. here’s a lil background: the hale family—a line of manhattan-born businessmen / lawyers / diplomats etc. they're dripping in wealth, not always as squeaky clean as they portray themselves as to be. kaleb’s dad was a douche, expected both of his sons to follow in his shadow and become lawyers, ran around behind his wife's back: the whole shoot and shebang of a classic a-hole. he always kind of ignored kaleb in favour of his eldest son joshua so kaleb kinda became hard-hearted and resentful due to the lack of his father's attention. skip a few years and he spied his dad cheating on his mother with his secretary though he refused to tell another soul for fear of any potential backlash. soon enough, his mother found this out for herself, their argument ruined his thirteenth birthday party then they divorced soon after. his mother fell off the wagon, became terminally ill—all while his father was remarrying and expecting a daughter with his secretary. it was a hella rough two years for kaleb. it got even worse. eventually, his mother passed away and his step-mother divorced his father to breeze off into the sunset with her new lover; leaving her daughter with her piss-poor excuse of a dad. at this point, kaleb was lonely and angry but adopted the role of his step-sister's protector, shielding her from their father's increasing substance abuse induced violence. just before his seventeenth birthday, his father died in a car crash. of course, he didn't entirely mourn the loss. almost immediately, he and his younger sister moved in with their elder brother who helped kaleb get into university. with dear ole dad out of the picture, he could finally pursue his interest and flair for music. after he graduated, he moved to santa ysabel with his brother and brother's family. in the beginning, things were going fine. yeah, sure, he was struggling for work and felt bad that his brother had to keep him afloat. normal stuff. then, one day, things quickly turned sour in his world. [ TRIGGER FOR GORE, BLOOD, SUICIDE MENTION, GUN MENTION, MURDER, DEATH ] he’d came home to find the locks on the doors busted, advancing into the house carefully only to find his brother’s lifeless corpse crumbled on the kitchen tiles: his throat and wrists slashed, posed as a suicide. of course, kaleb knew better. he knew his brother; knew he would never leave him or his family. upon further inspection of the house, he’d discovered the body of his wife upstairs: a bullet hole between her eyes. [ TRIGGER OVER ] the whole ordeal was enough to turn his stomach but once the sickness had subsided, all kaleb felt was a strong thirst for blood. sure, it was pretty damn stupid to try and seek revenge or whatnot ... but kaleb had always been one to let his heart guide his brain. anyways, time skip now to the moment he’d uncovered his brother’s entanglement with some dodgy loan shark, drug dealing criminals who were responsible for his murder. in the end, he’d hunted them down and eradicated them one by one, over a span of weeks. at first, he hated himself and what his desire for vengeance had turned him into but he kept going until he’d got them all: until he’d grown numb. truthfully, how he wound up taking lives for a living is beyond him. he woke up one day, found himself hired by some big-wig businessman who wanted rid of his business partner and et voilà, he was tangled up in the dark side of existence. i mean, was he blackmailed into doing his first paid hit? yes. but who can blame him? especially when they claimed to have intel regarding the sudden demise of a prominent figure in the criminal underbelly of the city, a.k.a his brother’s killer. it was a risk kaleb simply couldn’t take. he prefers to keep himself anonymous, hidden behind shadows, unsuspecting. death has become a job. nothing more. nothing less. it’s simply the algorithm of his existence: receive a dossier, take care of the target, get paid a hefty lump sum. and all just for enacting a stranger’s revenge in the blood of another. he moves like a deadly phantom, his footsteps light as a feather, whipping through the night like a bullet through a target’s skull. sartre claims that hell is other people. and if you were to stare into kaleb’s eyes—eyes eerily similar to having been cut from coal—you might just see hell and everyone in it staring right back at you. as nietzsche wrote: “ he who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. and if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee. ”

random extras.

he has a lot of small scars over his body, most of which he can’t account for or has forgotten about.

owns and drives a black 1969 boss 429 mustang which he loves arguably more than he loves himself.

speaking of, he actually is full of self-hatred so don’t let the haughtiness fool you.

trusts nobody but himself and is loyal to nobody but himself.

has a lot of anger issues so often ends up taking part in underground fights.

he rates around a solid three on the kinsey scale.

is a distant person; closed-off emotionally and prefers to keep himself to himself.

when it comes to whether or not he is morally decent or an extremely bad person, he is somewhere in the middle of that spectrum.

he isn’t heartless but he isn’t exactly compassionate either.

kind of shady but knows how to pass himself as charming.

has been thru sum shit n seen sum shit so he’s v messed up inside.

though he does have a soft spot for animals and children.

his marksmanship is impeccable.

he’s naturally gifted with firearms and his shot is always on point.

dark eyes and bruised knuckles are his ultimate aesthetic tbh.

actually really appreciates classical music, though he’ll never tell. blame it on his piano lessons from childhood.

speaking of piano, he’s low key gifted at playing although he rarely does these days.

has a very short fuse and can lose his temper quite easily.

he has a good heart and good intentions when it comes to those he actually cares about although he’ll never let this show.

favourite coping mechanism? isolation.

a bit of a lone wolf. he keeps people at arm’s length but acts in a way where people are under the illusion he’s their friend.

basically the tall, dark and handsome trope: ( most of the tall, dark and handsome men display aloof, cold and distant personality but they do have a gentle and caring side. )

is a little snarky and grumpy but if you manage to break this exterior, you’ll find he’s quite witty and easy going.

he got into fighting at a young age. it was the only way to try and learn how to defend himself against his father.

sleep?? he doesn’t know her.

tends to repress his emotions until he explodes.

healthy coping mechanisms?? he doesn’t know them either.

is prone to pushing the self destruct button.

you can find a pinterest board for him by clicking anywhere here.

#hey hi hello happy to be here !!!#this is my son kal n he's ... A LOT.#show this some luv n i'll come atcha for plots !!!#indulgence.intro

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ghoulangerlee · 6 years

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this is a pretty heavy post like, feel free to ignore it bc im just. in a really bad place right now and i need to vent and say things other than ‘im so tired’ because it doesn’t accurately encompass how i actually feel

So, like. 2012? Sometime after my mom died I got into a really bad place mentally, with everything piling up; my shit life, my shit aunt, my shit roommate, just shit after shit, my money kept going to bills, i didnt eat for weeks at a time.

I was in a really bad place. Like, horrifically bad. Only made worse by my aunt taking me to the hospital and telling the doctors there I was suicidal. To be fair, I was, but being locked in, what’s essentially a cell with a wooden bed? Not Fun.

I tried getting better, I went to a therapist and a psychiatrist, got on medicine. talk about my problems, tried moving on.

it didnt work. i felt a sense of uselessness around that time. i was 20 and my mom died less than a year ago.

i’d been nursing my bad health since i was a kid, and when mom’s diagnosis came when i was 17...it was a lot to handle. and as time went on, my aunt got more distant until it was me, a barely old enough fresh high school graduate, trying to juggle college, full time work and taking care of my sick (and dying) mom.

two years is a lot of time to have that much pressure put on you. and it does a lot to a person’s psyche when you go from being On at all times, to suddenly, you’re sitting in a hospice, telling your mom it’s okay to rest now. you’ll be fine.

you start feeling useless, i guess. you just. don’t know what to do anymore. your mom’s gone, you’re out of work for a week to “mourn” but really. you spend the week staring at the wall wondering what you could have done better.

(the spoiler is, nothing. nothing. death is fucked up. mom knew. the whole time she was going through the stages, making herself okay with the idea of dying. im glad she’s resting now. the last few years of her life were hard. too hard for one woman to handle.)

some could say that my anger and depression and sadness and just emptiness came from grief, maybe. maybe im still not over it. (spoiler: im not).

i remember, my aunt calling me the day my roommate was in the hospital, i was with her, sitting with her. and i’d called my manager to let him know that i was on my way to work, i shouldn’t be late but if traffic gets bad, then i might be late.

my aunt calls, yells at me, calls me a lot of names to the point im sobbing in my roommates hospital room. not an uncommon occurrence at that point. my aunt making me cry. i was 20 and my aunt had been doing that for about 10 years at that point.

my roommate takes the phone, says something i can’t remember to her and hangs up. and then she calls a nurse who takes me aside, sits me down in a room and asks me if i need to leave. if my aunt’s abusing me or hurting me.

it was a long day at the hospital. and then, later on that night, as im about to take myself to the local hospital to find out what i need in order to see a therapist, my aunt hijacks my plans and drags me there herself. takes me to the ER, tells them she’s worried about her niece’s who’s suicidal.

and anyway. to make a long story short. i spend a lot of time in this tiny box of a room, with no shoes or pants or shirt. in my underwear and a gown, sitting on a wooden frame bed with no blanket.

when i finally get my aunt out of the room, and i talk to the psych lady who came down from the ward, she asks me if i need to leave my aunt, asks if my aunt’s hurt me or hit me.

at the time, i didnt realize that abuse in the context she was asking also meant verbal, mental and emotional. i didnt realize that’s what my aunt was doing until way later.

the more i talked to a therapist later on, the more i realized that things were messed up. that my aunt’s treatment of me wasn’t right. that my aunt, as a whole, is abusive.

i was 20 when i tried to commit suicide.

i dont talk about it ever, because it was a point in my life i’ve been trying hard to forget.

i was just. so wrung out. my roommate left me with a 300 dollar power bill despite “promising” to pay her share. my landlord kept bothering me about rent even though i’d always remind her when i’d get paid, my aunt wouldn’t stop. and i just felt alone.

so fucking alone. i was empty and hollow and my house and life were a fucking mess.

at that point, i’d been trying to think of a way that seemed natural i guess. just. something that no one would realize i’d done it on purpose.

i didn’t have any money for food, so starving myself seemed like the best option. and so, i didnt eat. for days and then weeks and then months.

my dumb brain just, thought that, well, ive already got bad stomach problems. my stomach already bleeds. if i don’t eat then the acid just gets worse, it’ll make me bleed.

didn’t count on passing out during work and being rushed to the ER.

i lied then and said it was because i didn’t have the money to eat. and so afterwards, my manager and coworkers made sure i ate something.

but i mean, it wasn’t a glamorous experience. until today, i hadn’t told anyone that me not eating for those months was actually me trying to sabotage my own life.

but yeah.

what all this is leading up to is. i feel myself slipping back into that mindset. only this time, i can’t get out of it. i don’t have a therapist, or medication to help. my aunt is on my ass constantly and won’t let me get a job without threatening me homelessness.

and its tearing me up on the inside. ive been in so much physical pain these past few days. everyday its hard to get out of bed and find the will to do anything.

we had an argument the other day, because i finally couldn’t handle her yelling. i told her how i felt about her and she told me to leave the room. so i went outside. and. fuck. i kept mapping out the quickest way to get to the busy street where all the cars were. if i could just get out there without her seeing then i could just...

when i keep saying im tired, i mean it as, this bone deep i can’t take it anymore tired. the i need to get out of here before something happens to me tired. the i am at the end of my line and if something doesn’t change soon im going to die tired.

im trying so hard to stay okay. to keep all this in and not bombard people with it. hatching plans and trying to figure out how to get the money to leave. where to go when i do leave.

but god its so hard. im just so tired.

and i dont know what to do.

my aunt “paid” me for the last transport and i got 75 dollars. two days of nonstop driving and caring for 16 dogs. 75 dollars. that’s for groceries and my phone bill. and absolutely nothing for savings.

fuck.

#suicide mention #tagging it as that just in case #personal #vent

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mitchellmarnthews · 7 years

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William Nylander ~ Miss you when you’re gone

Requests are still open, I just have a ton of them just now so it might take a while to do them all! :)

Requested: Yes

“33 with willy? bc i feel like he would 100% do that :')“

Writing Prompt 33. “I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

Warnings: Nahh

For @starlightgems

The door swung open and you were immediately pulled into a tight embrace.

"Miss me?" You asked, the sound coming out muffled considering Willy had you pressed tightly to his chest.

"Mmm, a little bit." He replied, clearly trying to hide just how much he had.

It had been almost 3 weeks since you had seen each other, Willy had been busy with road trips and you with school and the vacation you had just returned from, and you were so glad to finally be in his arms once again.

"How was your flight?" Willy asked, as he grabbed your small duffel from your hands and guided you inside.

"Horrible. There was a baby in front of me that cried the whole time, and a child behind me who wouldn't stop whining or kicking my seat." You let out with a huff.

Willy just laughed in response, which earned him a punch to the arm.

"So, know that you're finally here, what do you wanna do? There's a nice restaurant not far from here me and the boys went to last week, or we could... Y/Ni."

Your eyes fluttered open at the sound of your name, and you realised you must have began to fall asleep.

"Guess that's not happening, eh?"

"Can we just watch a movie in bed instead? I'm exhausted, babe."

"Ofcourse, c'mon you thinking you can walk or do I need to carry you?" He replied with a chuckle.

"Carry me pleaseee." You told him, batting your eyelashes together.

That earned you another chuckle and he reached down and wrapped one arm around your back and the other around your legs.

"Coach, is gonna kill me if I mess up my back. I'll just blame you."

You slapped him on the arm at that.

"Hey I'm not that heavy."

"Im kidding ofcourse, babe."

"You better be William Nylander."

"Ooh first and last name, I must be in trouble."

"I would have used your full name, but we'd be here all night if I did." You said, whilst letting out a yawn.

You reached the bedroom at that moment, and Willy placed you on top of the bed whilst he set up Netflix on his TV.

"What do you wanna watch?" He asked, looking over his shoulder at you.

"I don't mind, just hurry. I want cuddles."

He picked a random movie you were sure you had watched with him before, and he slipped into the bed beside you.

You immediately curled up to him, laying your head on his chest, and he placed an arm around you.

Being in his arms once again, left you with a warm feeling in your gut. It was like a part of you had been missing, gone never to return, but now you were surrounded by him once again, you felt at ease and satisfied.

The sounds and motions of the movie, combined with your lack of sleep, resulted in you falling asleep within about five minutes of the movie starting.

You were rudely awoken by Willy poking your cheek far too quickly.

"Stop," you whined, "I'm trying to sleep. Watch the movie."

"Movie's finished, and I'm bored. You need to wake up so we can do something fun. I'm not tired enough to go to sleep yet."

"Well I am. I've barely slept Willy," you let out in a sigh.

Your eyes had barely shut, when the poking started once again.

"Willyyyy."

“I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

"You're worse than those kids on my flight, I swear. Please just let me sleep for a little longer and then we can go do something." You pleaded, looking up at those baby blues.

He pouted in response, but eventually nodded and wrapped his arm back around you.

Finally, you could sleep.

Ofcourse, your mind had decided that it was now to active to sleep, and you laid with your eyes shut hoping that the exhaustion would take over.

It didn't.

You started absentmindedly rubbing patterns into Willy's chest when you realised sleep wasn't coming soon.

"I miss this you know, when you're away on road trips." You told him quietly, after lying for a few moments, hoping that he didn't notice the sadness present in your voice.

"What?" He asked.

"Being with you, getting to cuddle you when I want." You murmured into his chest.

You felt him let out a sigh at your words, and his grip tighten around you.

"Me too," he spoke just as quietly, "It gets harder each time. Everytime I get used to having you here, it feels like you're gone the next second."

"Yeah, me too."

A few minutes had passed by, when Willy sat up suddenly, startling you and nearly throwing you off the bed in the process.

"What if that didn't happen anymore."

"Is this your way of breaking up with me?" You replied, hurt lacing your voice.

"Oh my god no," he hurried out, noticing the sad expression on your face, "what I mean is like what if you were always here."

Okay that left you confused.

"I don't know what you mean, babe."

"Move in with me." He told you.

Your eyes grew large, and you were pretty sure your mouth was hanging open.

"Willy, we've only been dating for a few months."

"I don't care, I know that I can't bare to be without you more than I have to be, and I want you with me. Move in with me."

"This is really soon but Willy, I've never lived with a boy before. What if it doesn't work out?"

"It will, Y/N, c'mon think how great it'll be. We won't have to go 3 weeks at a time without seeing each other; your school isn't too far from here; your family still live close enough that you'll see them all the time. I know we're ready for this."

"I don't know..." you told him, still unsure of what to do.

Taking a second to process his words, you realised that what he was saying was true, and that you felt the exact same way. You couldn't deny your feelings on the situation.

"Okay," you responded with a smile, and noticed a large grin take over his face as he opened his mouth to reply.

You pressed your finger to his lips to shush him. "But on one condition."

"What?"

"I'm not cleaning up after you all the time, that's on you, no matter if I'm here or not."

"Fine."

You kissed away his pout at that.

Thanks for reading!

Up Next: Mitch Marner

#william nylander #nhl imagines

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sodasyrup · 4 years

Text

DAILY ANON SPAM

i really let these build up

DAY 315: nah lol it okay. I was able to write, I was just staring at the screen. and I wrote more until I finished the second chapter today!!!!

congrats on writing!

DAY 316: THIS THUNDERSTORM IS A STRONG BOY TODAY OH FUCK!!! I actually heard the thunder even with my earbuds in max volume 😳

i fuckin love thunderstorms..........

DAY 317: I didn't get to write today 😔 honestly quite tired but I got to have hot chocolate so that's good

WHORE

DAY 318: I was able to write and we're supposed to have really bad storms today!!!!! also I almost fell asleep before doing this lmao

Whore redacted

DAY 320: in a gift event and got my giftee. I'm so excited to start writing for them!!!!!!

day missing?

DAY 321: I was so distracted today and I don't know why 😔 also I really want a switch so I can play animal crossing but I don't want to burden my parents

oh.... if u get a switch we can play naminal crosigns

DAY 322: OH MY GOSH, THAT'S AMAZING!!! GOOD JOB!!!! :D!!!!!!!!!!

COLLEGE TIME BABY!

DAY 323: this whole week, 0/10 for me. I've been so forgetful and keep procrastinating. the only reason I am able to finish what I have done so far is because of sprints 😓 oh well! but I'm tired so sleepy time night!!!

oh babe sorry. i hope u slept well

DAY 324: dunno if I already mentioned this, but I'm in two birthday events and I already reached the first minimum word count for one of them and am halfway to the other event's word count minimum!!! :D

time to pass the MAXIMUM WORD COUNT

DAY 325: I GOT MY UNDERCUT SHAVED AGAIN!!!! HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK! YEA! GAY! RIGHTS!

DAY 326: my legs hurt from standing so much reorganizing my clothes 😪

id rather die than organize my clothes

DAY 327: I WENT OUTSIDE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A MONTH AND WATCHED TWO MOVIES I RENTED!!! Sonic was really good and Birds of Prey too!!!

outside......... *smacks u* dont get infected

DAY 328: my knee HURTS!!! also I really hope I can get a new laptop soon so I don't have to worry about it and can write freely

*rips out ur knee* you deserve so much

DAY 329: I have one day left of "school" and I doubt I even have much to do and I hate it :( but how have you been? are you doing good?

u did it..... today was my last day of work! twinsies....even tho im LATE

DAY 330: I'm gonna miss everyone but at least soon I will be able to sign up to finish my driving lessons and then focus on my writing completely :D

oh fuck epix! i cant drive im gay

DAY 331: my knee hurts but I finally figured out how I want my gift fic to keep going!!! also I hate america once again but I love the people who are rioting because honestly, I'm surprised we haven't lost our patience sooner

FIX UR FACKIN KNEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also god america is awful but my heart goes out to the protesters

DAY 332: don't know if you've heard about pride///fall but be careful, okay? also I'm pretty sure there was a protest not too far where I live. however it ended, I'm just proud

ive heard of it but idc too much ive been around for awhile i know the internet well enough to just shrug it off. more concerned for others

DAY 333: dude it's okay. don't force yourself to answer them all at once. almost all of my daily anons have been written while I was half asleep in bed anyway, I vibe with that

owo........i answered them ALL

DAY 335: thanks dude. it's just painful to see innocent people be hurt or k*lled. nothing about this is right and I hate so much of this world right now. I can only hope things get better from here

MISSING A DAY

also yeah it sucks so much but we can work towards something better, together

DAY 336: I made ramen two hours ago and ate it. in the middle of the night. my stomach may not agree fully but I don't regret it. also I cannot type at all today

i think ramen just does that? makes u shit ur pants

DAY 337: currently crying because I just finished reading a fic and I'm just emotional. I knew what was gonna happen because of the major character death warning but jesus fuck, it hurt so much in the end. I loved it. 15/10

i cant read angst no comfort it makes me depressed

DAY 338: I've had a headache this whole day 😔 and I think I'm starting to feel bored and lonely. I might take a walk at some point or just sleep a lot

:^(

sorry man, NZ has been out of lockdown for awhile. hope you feel better soon

DAY 339: I said fuck it and had ramen again at like midnight, however much my stomach disagrees be damned. and now I am sated uwu

RAMEN MAKES U POOPY!

DAY 340: sleeby... but playin sims... and eating cheese... mmmmmmm 😋

sims......chehze....... mlemlemelme

DAY 341: leggy hurts but I have ice cream so I guess it balances out uwu

dude fix your leg serious go to a doctor or something

DAY 342: it was raining today!!!! and I loved it!!!! it was so windy!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i love rain when im not in it

DAY 343: I finished drawing a second of and started my third! I love them all so far

ART! CONGRATS!

DAY 344: I was sad today but I had two cups of hot coco and did several sprints so I'm feeling better now :)

coco is very nice, you deserve it

DAY 345: it got cold all of a sudden??? excuse me, how rude. anyway, it's hot chocolate time!!!! imma add a little salt

the cold is me sucking away ur- wait wait wait salt in your fucking coco?

DAY 346: it was cold as a BITCH last night and it's cold again!!! 😭 at least I got blankets and hot chocolate 😋

SALTY HOT CHOCOLATES?

DAY 347: I might have allergies, idk. but I can finally finish up my driving lessons!! and I finished my required hours so woohoo!!!

i’ll sneeze in ur mouth to fix ur allergies

DAY 346: okay but real talk- I'll probably stop doing these after I do a whole year if that's okay. and I finishing up my driving lessons!

THATS FINE BABE one whole year like. fuckin dedicated!

DAY 349: I just realized I messed up the day number for the last one *dies* goddamnit. anyway, early sleepy time!!!!!! uwu

you’ve messed up a few but its ok bc youve done this for a fucking YEAR

DAY 350: MY BODY FUCKING HURTS????? rude. I don't even know why, it just did

im gonna remove ur bones

DAY 351: oof writing is hard and drawing is hard. goddamnit life is hard. BUT THAT WON'T STOP ME

i wish i had hands to draw and write

#sodask #daily anon

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