#this is the most cracked out au | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thebxghag · 1 year

Text

Azulaang aus c:

#this fully started out as a crack ship #but inevitably my little brain just kept creating scenarios #sdknfksdjnf #most of the sketches are from an au in which azula chose to go with the gaang after the war instead of with Iroh like zuko wanted her to do #just to be a contrarian #and then somehow she ended up one of the last members travelling with aang full time #and the one in the middle is for an au in which aang lost the war and became a politaical prisoner #that I’ve been writing for three heckin years #but I DO think I’m on the last draft for that one >D #my art #atla #fanart #avatar the last airbender #illustration

748 notes · View notes

ryoalouette · 9 months

Text

You guys know Doraemon? Futuristic cat(?) robot(??) that have this magical pocket that holds everything you can imagine? From doors that can bring you to anywhere in the world, flying hat, a gun that would alter something in the reality, etc, etc.

And then you add this post as inspiration, well.

Everyone in JL is Convinced that Batman has everything in his Bat-belt that it literally holds everything. Ofc canonically it has everything that Batman's quite prepared for, like say- Kryptonite, jerky, shark repellent, and so on.

But then imagine when Batman pulls out something that shouldn't be possible from his belt, like maybe- idk, a vacuum (portable), welding machine, hair dryer, a glass vial(!! Batman, that's dangerous-) etc, in one sitting. And none of those devices are the type that's able to be folded or taken apart/assembled so quickly. And then it goes from small things to big things like a wholeass suitcase. In his belt.

AKA

It's not Batman that's Deified, it's his utility belt.

Sadly, upon being stolen it's a normal utility belt. When Batman wears some other utility belt, the belt become Deified. Literally when any utility belt that Batman used will be Deified. Batman, the one who shall Deify any utility belt if said belt is in contact with him.

This can be crossover or nah, but I imagine if it's crossover with DP, Batman's belt would be referred to Batman's 4D Belt that's quite famous across the GZ. Maybe Danny's the one creating the objects that would look like A but the function isn't A, but it's G instead. Like Doraemon. Or my other post the other day.

#batman #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #dpxdc #crack #prompt #lowkey imagining Batman doesn't explain anything about whatever things he pulled out from his belt #Even the things that shouldn't make sense #but somehow it works in this situation?#Everyone is very confused #but I kinda imagine Batman doing this to Hal specifically #and to the JL in general #he's most definitely a troll #Still tho #Deified Belt AU #What a weird “meta” ability

158 notes · View notes

snackugaki · 2 years

Photo

tryptophan induced tmnt au bullshit: leo as the unofficial worldwide beat saber champion

EDIT: it’s fucking... 「側にいるから」. かかかかかかか I missed the dakuten marks in 「がんこ」from another comic, I swear I know how to write I’m not tired this time but I am filled with 2 kinds of meat, 4 types vegetables, 5 kinds of fruits in varying stages of its original form, and more starchy complex carbohydrates than god pls i try

but frankly it’s what my dumbass gets for thinking it can hold more than one language at a time

EDIT 2: .... 直しまた I fixed it, it was getting on my nerves tanginang pisting yawa... yo cansada

#Donnie absolutely woulda had the ideas and prototype for VR gaming #but Mikey would've been the visionary to make a Beat Saber game #Donnie still got Beat Saber when it actually came out #Leo is known on the internet as the mysterious beat saber genius #doing the absolutely most FRIVOLOUS shit with a tmnt au #Raph prefers Wii boxing #but Donnie had to crack and fix the game's code to keep up with Raph #all of them have played Kingdom Hearts #all have a trigger response to cry at the beginning notes of Dearly Beloved #tmnt au #tmnt au bullshit #fanart shitposting #fancomic shitposting #imagine if that was a real remix of Hikari #lol lmao #just threw in whatever word salad I'd see on youtube mixes #wtf is speedcore #if you feel especially targeted by mentioning the PLANiTB remix?#GOOD #I will always take potshots at other elder millenials #duck motherfuckers!#8D

545 notes · View notes

mothinflamesdoodles · 3 months

Text

Pulse Sans: The Frankenstein Font

Fanart for @specialmindz

33 notes · View notes

fraudulent-cheese · 5 months

Text

Im counting this as an ask - you've picked... The Team Escope TDWT AU!

This is 100% based on both another AU idea i had in my head (Hbombs vs Alenoah TDWT final four) and a take on @/real-total-drama-takes about Eva being on TDWT.

The main gist is instead of Tyler and Sierra getting on Team Chris, Eva and Izzy do, and the team is instead called "Team Escope". Alejandro's already a bit thrown by his team's general chaos and by Noah's presence (since he was Chris's assistant during the taping of Total Drama Dirtbags, a show Chris briefly tried filming that got cancelled before the mid season.), but he starts warming up to them while he tries to work on getting the other teams eliminated.

However, things don't turn out how he'd hoped since Team Victory, lead by the surprisingly competent duo of Lindsay and Harold, isn't failing nearly as badly as Alejandro expected. In fact, Harold makes it to the merge, and we get a final 7 of Alejandro, Noah, Eva, Harold, Heather, Gwen and Courtney (Heather was eliminated previously, got back during Niagra Brawls).

Gwen and Courtney get the double elimination, Noah and Alejandro aren't on amazing terms currently, Harold and Heather are seriously teaming up and seem to actually be friends, and Eva mostly just hopes she's still got a chance to win. After African Lying Safari where Alejandro and the Hbombs got immunity, Eva gets the boot; Harold and Heather want Eva out since out of the two she's the better player, Alejandro voted Eva because he wants to kiss be in an alliance with Noah, and Noah and Eva voted for Noah (Noah because he lowkey wants out and thinks he's going out anyways, Eva because she still wants to win and knows Noah would probably understand).

After Drumheller, Harold gets blown up and is booted instead of Alejandro (who had gotten the most votes. Even Noah voted for him.). Heather's trying extra hard to get in the Final 2 now, especially since she's motivated by the power of friendship now and Alejandro and Noah are still dancing around eachother (in a way similar to what happends in Slippery Slopes) Until they all reach Hawaii and Heather and Alejandro are both participating in the Tie-breaker for their last shot at competing in the final challenge. Alejandro wins the tie-breaker, they do the final challenge, kiss at the top of the volcano and Noah wins the season.

I think in general Eva being in TDWT would cause interesting changes in the dynamics of Team Escope since she's much less trusting than Tyler and even stronger than him, although she does have a weakness for pretty boys (bisexual moment). I think Alejandro in this AU has to rely on his team's strengths wayyy more than in canon, and in turn actually befriends most of these weirdos. keyword is most (he's still not a fan of Owen).

OTHER BIG CHANGES ARE:

-Tyler straight up does not compete

-Obviously Harold making it to the merge with her mad skills

-Trans Harold is real, she comes out mid season lol

-DJ, Lindsay and Harold are the team Victory trio for a couple of episodes

-Cody gets eliminated in episode 3 instead of Harold

-Owen gets the boot in episode 10

-Heather gets booted in I See London

-Sierra and Duncan both get eliminated earlier, both pre merge :

Sierra gets the boot instead of Tyler in canon maybe? Gwourtney happends in this AU so they don't vote for eachother and instead for her.

Duncan just does NOT mesh well with Team Escope's entire dynamic. Eva doesn't like him because of course she wouldn't, Noah doesn't like him because he's a dick in general and Alejandro doesn't like him because his borderline obsession with bullying Harold is costing them challenges + he's friends with Courtney in this AU too so that's an additional reason to dislike him.

-i uh, i haven't thought about when Izzy gets out? maybe she's the last out before the merge? but she does have to kiss Eva before that happends soooo (i AM inserting Evzy in this and you can't stop me)

#cheese posting #Yeah!!! If anyone wants to like #make stuff for this feel free to! Just credit me (or better yet link to this post) :D #ask game #tdwt #total drama world tour #total drama au #String cheesing #td eva #td noah #td alejandro #td heather #td harold #alenoah #only tagging the characters most relevant to the AU lol #Team escope TDWT au #additional edit: guess who decided they'd insert non binary gwen and alejandro into this au? me!#they're enbies in the au now. gwen's out since the start #and alejandro has his egg cracked during the final 5 i think

45 notes · View notes

melpomaen · 6 days

Text

I haven't figured out how yet, but I can combine the different versions of the Arafinwean family tree + Gil Galad son of plothole + (hc) Lindir son of Gildor son of [insert Arafinwean] to create a family tree that is so fucked.

ft. Erestor child of Halenthir + that one draft that mentions a bunch of Elrond's peredhel relatives chilling in Rivendell + possibly Aegnor/Andreth.

I am looking at Orodreth², Gil-Galad³, Gildor and son of Inglor, and fkn plotting.

#ooc | out of cheesecake #i already pulled Melpomaen and Lindir into this #there are so many other movie elf extras i can use to make this worse #fix tags later #gil galad son of plothole #most of this au is serious written seriously but the fucked finwean family tree debacle is going to be crack written seriously i think #what would it take for elves to fuck up recording/reciting the royal family tree so bad that orodreth moves generations #idk but i can make it worse #disaster finweans au

10 notes · View notes

jessicas-pi · 11 months

Text

Behold, another fic snippet!! (It's a sequel to this one.)

———

Sabine stumbles as she rematerializes in a burst of light—it gets easier every time she does it, but she’s still terribly out of practice—slamming one hand against the wall to catch herself.

She looks around. She’d been aiming for somewhere inside the Ghost, anywhere inside the Ghost, anywhere that wasn’t right there.

She’s landed in Ezra’s room.

Of course she has.

Ezra.

Ezra, Ezra, Ezra.

That’s all anything is these days.

The one trying to get her out of her room and into daylight. The one looking worried whenever she’s spent longer than usual conferring with the holocron. The one telling her not to listen to the voices in her head. The one going out of his way to make sure she eats at least one meal a day.

The one, when it came down to it, keeping her from self-destructing.

“Did I hurt you?” his voice echoes, and she feels his phantom fingers trace over her cheek. She can feel the sticky blood from the little cut, now that she thinks about it.

He cared.

He cared if he hurt her, even if the whole point of their fight had been for them to beat each other up until she’d burned off her steam.

And Sabine?

Sabine wants to be cared about.

It’s weakness, she knows it’s weakness, but she is so—so—tired. She is tired of being strong. She is tired of digging deeper and deeper into the Darkness and she is tired of falling back into her old arts.

Did I hurt you, he had asked, sounding truly afraid that he had.

And she’d grabbed him by the arm, and impulsively brushed her lips against his wrist.

You’re dangerous, Ezra.

Sabine sighs and runs her fingers along one of her paintings on the wall as the decrepit crones haunting her speak up again, clamoring over the block she’s tried to put on them.

You’re attracted to him, aren’t you?!

You’ve never even seen his face!

He’s so young. So immature.

His idea of dealing with trauma is a fistfight!

Come home to us, sweet one, and we’ll give you a prettier boy.

One who cares enough to show you his face, hm?

Sabine blocks them out as best as she could.

It doesn’t matter if she sees his face or not. Blind people fall in love without ever seeing the other person’s face, right?

And she isn’t even in love.

She just… thinks he looked… good. In that one particular moment. That’s all.

Except that isn’t all, because it’s also the way he laughs sometimes, not a smug chuckle or a wry snort but a soft laugh that was gentle and good. It’s the way he goes out after her when her Force-hazes get the better of her and she wanders off into the Atollon desert to commune with the murder spiders, and she would come back to herself and find him guiding her by the hand or sometimes even carrying her back to their base.

It’s the way he’s gentle with her—and the way he’s downright murderous with anyone who threatens her.

I can take care of myself, she had told him once.

Not if I take care of you first, he’d said, and it sounded like a joke, but he had meant it.

Everything feels so big. It’s too much, and if she doesn’t get it out of her, she knows she will just make things worse.

Sabine needs to vent.

She needs a friend.

But other than Ezra, she has none, and she can’t tell this to any of the rest of the crew. It would mean telling—or at least hinting at—just how far she’s been dipping into the darkness.

So what can she do?

Maybe I have no friends to talk to, she realizes, inhaling quickly, but I don’t need a friend, do I? Just someone who will listen.

She casts out with her presence and finds no one in the hall, so she slips across into her new room. Ever since Malachor, she’s stopped sharing a room with Hera, and instead moved her things into Ahsoka’s room.

The holocron is right where she left it, and she sends it spinning open with a flick of her hand and a twist of Darkness.

Hello, child.

“How do I find someone?”

To the point, as always.

She ignores the commentary. “I need to track down a specific person. I don’t know where they are, but they’re a powerful Force-user who is strong with the Dark side. Can you help me find them?”

And who is this Dark acolyte? A friend?

“An acquaintance. An… enemy, but… not an enemy. I have to talk to them.”

Who is it, Sabine?

Sabine takes a breath.

She sighs.

“I need to find the Emperor’s Hand.”

#some hints at Sabine's backstory here!!#ngl her slow backstory revelation is one of the things I'm most excited for in this AU!!#well. that and the Living Waters scene. i'm also jazzed about that one. but you don't know about it yet :)#oh yeah and the part of the au where i accidentally stole the plot of anastasia! that too #and the Helmetless Scene obviously #okay okay so i guess there's several things i'm excited about lol #the scene after this one is like total crack because it's sabine pouring out her Issues while she sits in a bar and eats space m&ms #and the sith acolyte she's rambling to is just like '...that's rough buddy.'#fic snippet #fic sneak peek #twin blades and beskar au #sabezra

34 notes · View notes

dagaan · 11 months

Text

Some more Ifryets

#splatoon #sort of. AU again.#I’ve been rereading stardust thief (super recommend please read it) and been thinking of Her so #may have also taken on a new WIP bc I don’t have enough started apparently #I did manage to crack most of it out in a sitting though (not like that’s saying a lot since it’s like 4 pages of text rn)#I might post soon… maybe. needs an ending. will be open like everything else probably #ah that’s ifrit frye if you’re wondering wtf ifryet means #my art

21 notes · View notes

robots-on-film · 17 days

Text

making this as a separate post-

You know what is fun? aus. So I propose a new au idea to just ponder in your head and play with like play dough.

So like, au were, somehow, scout's missing dad turns out is another merc that is NOT a spy. The second-most fun part is figuring out how would that be able to logically be able to happen. The first-most fun part is how heart achingly sad or stupidly funny would the reveal of it be + the aftermath or confrontation, of course.

(look at tags for my ideas/ramblings for this concept)

#tf2 #team fortess 2 #scout #au #au idea #i got no clue how to tag this!#martin speaks #i once saw one for sniper turning out to be scouts bio dad and man. it was just one chapter. but it changed something in me /pos #every single one could be very funny or very sad depending on how the writer approaches it but #soldier. engie and pyro stand out to me as PIQUE “this could be stupidly sad and heart breakingly funny”#both for themselves or scout. like specially in the pyro and soldier case #engie's path in this au (lol like a vn) is the most. bittersweet and heart breaking. cus i am going with scout already seeing engie as a #father figure. and engie caring for scout as well! but when it turns out scout is basically a Conagher and therefore he applies like.#standards and expectations of what a Conagher should be to scout. EXPLODES #Demo would be the most chill about the whole situation. like it would all still hurt for the both of them but ironically. the situation doe #not have a way to explode and go horribly south like the other ones. in my opinion.#Heavy or Medics paths are the most crack to me. mainly because i cannot think of a way for it to happen and when it comes to romance i ship #them with each other. anyway. scout is medics lost test tube baby that ended up in a bostonian lady's care. i can give you that #and thats all i have

3 notes · View notes

victorluvsalice · 4 months

Text

The "Valicer In The Dark Meets Baldur's Gate III" Not-Incorrect Quotes/Shitpost Collection

(Don't worry too much about spoilers -- most of this is early-game stuff, with just a couple of things relating to stuff in Act II)

--

Alice: [having just met Lae'zel on the Nautiloid and been informed of the situation with the parasites] And who are you, exactly?

Lae'zel: Who am I? Your only chance of survival.

[later, after the imps have been fought, and everyone's met back up and freed Shadowheart:]

Victor: [introducing himself as they get back on the move] I'm Victor.

Alice: I'm Alice. [pointing to Lae'zel] And this is Only.

Lae'zel: ?

Alice: Well, you've given me nothing else to call you.

--

Shadowheart: [after being informed the trio live in a world without a sun and that's why they're being so weird about the sky being blue] I -- are you Shar's Chosen? Is this some sort of test? Am I not supposed to believe you when you say you like sunlight? I can totally not believe you if that's the case!

Alice: ...I feel like we've missed something.

Smiler: [lying down and sunbathing] Yeah, it's in the sky above us.

--

Withers: What is the worth of a single mortal's life?

Victor: I -- I would say priceless. You can't put a value on life itself.

Alice: I say it's worth whatever you're willing to pay to defend it. Only the owner of said life can set the value.

Smiler: I'm pretty sure the standard rate of assassins in Duskwall is four Coin minimum -- not sure how that translates to your money.

Victor & Alice: [look at Smiler]

Smiler: What? It's a legitimate answer!

--

Withers: I shall be here, in thy camp, for whenever thou has need of my services.

Alice: Oh? What kind of services do you offer?

Withers: A mending of the threads between life and death. Should thou or any of thy compatriots perish, I will cleave soul to body once more.

Victor: Cleave soul to -- wait a minute, isn't that how you get vampires?

Astarion: [rearranging his tent, pauses and gives them a really weird look]

--

Alice: [during one of the meetings with Raphael] You do seem like a very powerful devil.

Raphael: [preening] I consider myself no slouch, yes.

Smiler: [cheerfully] I bet your blood could power an entire city block for a month!

Raphael: [blink blink] ...thank...you?

--

Strange Ox: Ah, you're addressing me. A humble ox. How...quaint.

Smiler: [tilting their head] What are you?

Strange Ox: As I said, a humble ox. I don't know why you're --

Smiler: No, I mean, what's an ox?

Strange Ox: ...

--

Smiler: [standing behind a table lined with eight samples of the same Potion Of Glorious Vaulting, with Victor, Alice, and the companions all gathered around the front of it] Thank you all for coming to this blind taste test, where we will be disproving the idiotic notion that you only need one specific ingredient per potion to create something that does what you want it to. In front of you are eight individual Potions of Glorious Vaulting, each made with a different type of Ashes -- I would like you each to drink one, test the effects, then rate it based on how strong the effects were, how long they lasted, and how tasty it was.

Wyll: You care about the taste?

Smiler: Of course! If we're going to be making potions, the least we could do is make them pleasant to consume! We're working toward maximum happiness here! Now everybody pick one and let's get jumping!

--

Gale: [realizing the trio isn't with them as they move through the mind flayer colony under Moonrise] Hold -- where's Victor, Alice, and Smiler?

Karlach: I think I saw them looking at a cage in the last room.

Lae'zel: Chk -- they should know by now that we cannot pause and look at every little thing that --

Smiler: [rejoining the group carrying a certain intellect devourer, beaming, as Victor and Alice come up behind them] Hey everyone!

Lae'zel: [stares at the brain] ...

Astarion: Why are you carrying an intellect --

Lae'zel: THAT. THING. SURVIVED?!

Us: Hello Angry Friend!

Lae'zel: I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND

--

Aylin: [after everyone's agreed to meet up with her and Isobel again later at the camp] Now -- you will leave us. We must take succour in one another's bodies and words.

Isobel: Aylin. We'll see you later.

Victor: [hiding a smile] Of course.

Alice: [biting back a chuckle] Later.

Smiler: [big beaming grin and a double thumbs up] Enjoy the hot lesbian sex!

Victor: Smiler!

Aylin: I intend to.

Isobel: AYLIN.

#valicer in the dark au #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #(very minor ones nothing for Act III but I guess there's a little bit for Act II here)#not incorrect quotes #had probably more fun with these than I should have #Lae'zel cracks and tells Alice her name when she tells 'Only' and Shadowheart not to fight before they reach the helm #Alice of courses persists in calling her 'Only' when she's annoyed with her #and Smiler is like 'VINDICATED' when Withers admits that resurrecting people is a matter of coin #'see I told you he might want the economics answer!'#also yes ghosts possessing soulless bodies is how you get vampires in Duskwall #not to mention most of them suck life straight out of other people #a blood-drinker like Astarion is unusual there #as for the 'blood could power a city block'#most of the electroplasmic power that helps light up Duskwall comes from leviathan blood #and leviathans are a large form of devil #so it really was meant as a compliment XD #and yes I looked at how alchemy worked in the game #and Smiler was immediately like 'what do you mean ANY SALT'#they take their craft seriously damn it XD #and also you should be allowed to hug Us #put that in the next patch Larian #queued

6 notes · View notes

covenofthearticulate · 1 year

Note

In relation to your hectic day/week...

How would a Vampire Chronicles Highschool work? Give us your headcanons, oh wise one full of experience, angst and pain 🙌

OH GOD lmfao I mean listen this could go one of two ways...

if we're talking like...the vampires as actual high school teens then I imagine the cliques could be broke down into: Lestat and Armand, the two theatre kids who also bring drama into every situation off the stage (Lestat is cast as the lead in every school production meanwhile Armand is the iron-fisted AD on every show). They have absolutely fucked in the nasty green room backstage.

Louis is the definition of work hard, play hard. He's the kid in 5 AP classes who is insufferable in the classroom because he's smarter than everyone else and knows it, but you run into him occasionally at a house party and he's blackout drunk and everyone is...slightly concerned for his safety.

Daniel is also at said parties a lot— there's a rumor he deals drugs (weed, adderall, you name it) but he actually just likes to hang around parties because he's a weirdo and is endlessly fascinated listening to all the stories his drunk classmates tell him.

Then you've got Marius the Upper Classman who has been captain of debate club the last 4 years and got a full-ride scholarship to an Ivy League school. He is incapable of shutting up about his ex-girlfriend and has on numerous occasions gotten his classmates to pass his paper notes across the entire classroom to her.

OOORRRR...

Louis who teaches senior year Honors English for the serious nerds— his curriculum is somehow more intense than the state requirements and his grading his rigorous, but his class is still incredibly popular because his lectures are intriguing and the kids are so nosy because they're pretty sure he's dating the drama teacher. They make a game out of trying to figure out whether or not they're together— one kids SWEARS he saw them kissing in the teacher's lounge, but when a different kid had the courage to outright ask him, Louis claimed that "I hate that man." and no one could tell whether or not he was being sarcastic so it's still up for debate.

Armand is the cool art teacher who always has a bunch of kids in his room during lunch and after school. The art room is always open to anyone, and he is fiercely protective of it. One time the drama teacher asked to borrow some supplies to help decorate their set for the upcoming show and Armand straight up said "no" LMAO

(they still fuck in the nasty backstage green room though.)

And then you've got Marius the history teacher, obviously, who does that thing where he'll teach a lesson and try to make a reference to pop culture, but it never sticks, so then he ends up oversharing about his personal life as a weird roundabout way to connect to the lecture and it gets kinda weird but the kids still love him because he is still very prone to flattery so it's not too hard to pass his class.

And lastly, Daniel who teaches freshman English and also takes on the Yearbook class. He's nowhere near as tough of a grader as his colleagues— as long as the story has heart, he lets it pass. One student swears they saw him leaving the art room covered in paint and hickeys. When asked directly, Mr. Molloy got all flustered and blushy, but when Armand was asked he looked that kid dead in the eyes and gave him 5 seconds to sit back down in his seat and mind his business, or else he won't be so kind.

#the most ironic part of my job is i genuinely DO NOT ENJOY interacting with teenagers #but i'm out here every day fighting for arts education lmfao #ANYWAY sorry this is a full week late but asdfdgfrtgjvyzsbk sometimes it's nice to unwind on a friday with some vampire crack LOL #;answered #i used to have DOZENS of rp threads with louis and lestat and armand in a college au but never high school...#high schoolers are fucking WEIRD man #headcanons

28 notes · View notes

hershelwidget · 8 days

Text

hey. have women

#i need to be normal in the tags for a moment but FIRST #hershel’s octonauts au #dashi octonauts #hiiiii dashiiii. glow up !!! she’s soooo prettttyyy #okay. cracks knuckles #first of all to get it out of the way they are wearing primary colours #these colours not only reflect their personalities BUT they also represent something Cooler which we will get to #which are honestly just the complimentary colours of the people they respect most BUT I DIGRESS #also viktor is Really Tall for a 16 year old so she’s like. how do i describe it #she be leaning and kneeling #also i accidentally managed to sort them by age (sort of?)#like lillian is the oldest and viktor is the youngest so from left to right thats. young to old. good for them #i’ve been holding off on posting this for like 3 days because i keep thinking of new things to say #so um. anyways y/n fanfic where reader is Chronic Lesbian that is all bye

5 notes · View notes

faithfulcat111 · 1 month

Text

Me, still coming down from my several-hour migraine and lying in bed trying to desperately sleep still at 4 am: Yeah, I think the crack au I've been stewing on is going to include Buckingham.

#i did finally fall asleep at like 5 am #so i had almost four hours of sleep and i think I've sorted most of the remaining characters for this crack crossover au #the only ones i KNEW were set were Jonathan Nancy and Barb #I've been shuffling everyone else around like puzzle pieces #trying to figure out the direction i wanted to go in #i also decided I'm going with Byler too (rip)#gonna be a lot of mike and nancy just hating on steve in solidarity #this will be an edit au i think

4 notes · View notes

trentcrimminallybeautiful · 11 months

Note

your superhero AU has broken my heart 💔💔💔 protective Ted is so important to me

thank you!! ive been enjoying playing with it. and yeah!! like. i just. protective, pining ted and trent's like i am NOT a damsel!! (<- in this instance, is, in fact, a damsel. he will make an exception for one (1) person)

and like more seriously just. the trust it's about the trust!!! trent doesn't rely on anyone and he gets himself out of bad situations and he's lowkey terrified of this hero who's got him cornered and he's been in this horrible situation for so long but then it's ted and he immediately relaxes. and ted--you know ted realized they had trent and immediately panicked and was ready to just bust in there and it was only beard holding him back and making him be practical about it that didnt have him just bursting through the walls ten minutes after realizing. and him realizing trent trusts him.... holding him and being like oh. i can protect him this way and i can comfort him this way and it's working... augh

anyway im glad you like it 😩

#listen. im a simple man. sometimes i want to write my blorbo being battered and scared getting rescued #but it doesnt always make sense for whatever fandom it is so. hence. elaborate au #admittedly that wasn't my sole motivation for writing it or anything but it was up there.#ANYWAY can you blame him?#trents like im a reporter and a damn good one villains literally hate kidnapping me because im the worst hostage and heroes hate rescuing m #bc i am no fucking damsel.#and then ted 'tenderly holds him as he rescues him and asks him so so softly if hes okay with big warm brown eyes' lasso comes along #and its like. okay so i can get out on my own or i can let my crush simply cradle me in his beefy arms and carry me home. hmm #(im being silly ofc but it also has a lot more to do with like. the actual circumstances. but i think that if trent got kidnapped in the re #regular way where hes just rolling his eyes bc this is How The Game Goes ted would show up and he'd be like #oh nooooo look ive been tied up.... (glances down then sticks hands back in ropes) oh nooooo #and the villains like what the h--#please actually now a crack version of this au where trent just lets himself get kidnapped so ted can rescue him and they're the world's mo #most obnoxious couple. villains stop kidnapping him entirely bc then that one hero just shows up and they banter--totally ignoring the vill #villain--for like ten whole minutes while beard quietly dismantles the villain's shit behind them #ANYWAY IM SORRY IVE GOTTEN OFF TRACK #askbox #anonymous #superhero au

10 notes · View notes

flannelepicurean · 5 months

Text

Fic Excerpt: Holiday Rush

Okay. So. Not that long ago, I started finally doing a Coffee Shop AU in the DBZ space, and it got completely out of hand (like they do) and became a dystopian-humor meditation on corporate customer service work, with light smut. Also, the latter half of it turned into a Christmas/holiday special, because...it got completely out of hand, and by then, it made PERFECT SENSE for Frieza to put them under an insane holiday sales rush challenge with the abolition of the heinous indentured servitude contracts for Raditz and Vegeta as the year-end prize.

I have NOT finished the entire piece in time for this Christmas, because there is A LOT of it, and I hope to have it completed in time for next year.

But SWEET BABY GOKU IN A GODDAMN MANGER, I really, REALLY need y'all to come with me on the journey of "Goku's 'True Meaning of Christmas' Speech, and the Subsequent 'Spirit Bomb of Social Media' Event" moment. AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!😂😂😂

Here go:

Goku grumbles a fierce, “This isn’t right,” and turns off the blender.

Vegeta’s heart stops. The floor tilts. “Goku,” he pleads, “Goku, no...wait...don’t go! DON’T LEAVE US, GOKU!”

Goku marches out from behind the counter, heedless of Vegeta’s anguished wailing, strides to the center lounge, kicks a stack of magazines from a low, circular table in the Chipper Chat & ChillⒸ Zone, and leaps atop it. Waves to Puar at the DJ station, and raises his hands as a triple volley of air horn sound effects blares throughout the shop.

In the stuttering hush that descends, Goku calls out, “WOULD YOU PEOPLE LOOK AT YOURSELVES?!”

“Goddammit,” Raditz whimpers into Vegeta’s hair.

“Chums,” Goku pleads, “this isn’t Chipper! This isn’t Cheerful! This isn’t holiday! Don’t you see what’s happening? Can’t you see what you’re doing?”

A portly gentleman in the crush by the front snaps, “I’m trying to get a fucking coffee!”

Goku flings a double-underline of athletic arms and emphatic palms toward the counter, hits the customer with a heartfelt, “And they’re trying to give it to you! Don’t you understand?” He looks around at the crowd, reminds them, “A lot of you are regulars here! You know these guys! They’re YOUR guys! And you’re their Chums! But you’re not acting very Chums right now, you’re acting like dicks!”

Vegeta slumps forward, rests his forehead in his hands with a massive sigh, and Raditz follows, keening against the top of Vegeta’s head.

Goku explains, “Okay...you may not know this, but these guys are corporate wage slaves—and I mean literally, it is only just barely technically not illegal, but I’m telling you, I’ve seen the paperwork, and it is fucked up. But you know what? They still come in here every day—EVERY DAY—and try to give you a good experience!”

A green-skinned guy swathed in black, with heavy eyeliner and skull-shaped beads stacked up his antennae quips, “What about the pointy one?”

Goku raises an eyebrow. “Vegeta?” Sweeps a puzzled gaze over the crowd. “I mean, he’s always been pretty cool.”

A woman in a festive sweatshirt with blinking lights fires back, “OH, NO HE HAS NOT!”

Vegeta lifts a weary gaze and heaves a deflated “Hey, I’m trying, okay?” over the counter.

Goku points out, “And I’ve seen some really good comments on the customer satisfaction survey cards, so it seems like that’s working out, huh?”

A throaty voice only a little like Bulma’s calls out, “Yo, he didn’t even yell at that dude who just said he was shitty!” from somewhere near her position in the throng.

Heads perk up in the crowd. A ripple of chatter begins anew, with more question marks than exclamation points.

Goku’s fingers flex as though preparing to fly across a whole fleet of blender buttons. His frame begins a subtle bounce on the balls of his feet as he calls out, louder, “And Raditz assistant manages the heck outta this place! If you were in literal corporate bondage, would you spend extra time keepin’ it fun?” He throws a wide shrug at the assembled patrons, inquires, “Who here hasn’t enjoyed at least one wild specialty drink at Chipper Cup?” Aims a finger into the mass of holiday shoppers, rings out, “You! You there! Bro with the phone!”

Vegeta’s voice clamors, “Yeah, please stop filming this, Phone Bro,” just as Goku continues, with twinkling zeal, “Didn’t you show up like a hundred times for the Cotton-Eye Joe?”

“Yeah,” the man answers, with a wry twist of expression that slews the crisp shape of his goatee, “that thing was gross as fuck, dude.”

Goku returns a wilding grin. “But it was funny. Right?”

The man pauses, wide-eyed. Then drops his head and slips his phone into the pocket of his down vest with a contrite, “...Yeah.”

“And you started that viral video challenge because of it!” Goku chimes into the space. Demands, “How many new followers did you get from that?” and immediately steams on, “This is what I’m saying, people! The guys at Chipper Cup don’t just serve it up hot, and chill, and smooth, and whipped, and steamy, and—”

Vegeta snaps, “Goku!”

Goku shouts, “They spread cheer!”

A bouncy co-ed with tinsel worked into her nearly floor-length twists, and a parade of glitter dazzling above her wide, dark eyes squeals, “And that’s the true meaning of Christmas!”

Goku pauses. Considers. Responds, “Well...kinda. But NO!” He whirls toward a new zone of the sales flow floor set, his face a grim citadel. “The true meaning of Christmas is CORPORATE CONSUMERISM. For the people you love!” He pulls his fists against his chest, presses the shoppers with his earnest insistence, “And everybody out here loves those two handsome, hardworking baristas back there... So come on and start corporate consuming so we can save their Christmas!”

The shop erupts in a resonant clamor of cheering.

Goku raises his arms aloft, commands, “Faithful ChumsⒸ of Chipper CupⒸ! Lend us your social media! Reach out deep...far into your networks! Give us your hashtags! Post your selfies! Take pictures of your beverages! Send them to EVERYONE YOU KNOW! Boost our signal, Chums! Raise our Chipper Cheer Championship ChartⒸ levels! Like to charge! REBLOG TO CAST!” Phone cameras strobe and dazzle like fireworks as he bellows, “FILL THIS COFFEE SHOP WITH HOLIDAY SPIRIT!”

“Oh shit,” Vegeta mutters, a sheen of sweat catching crystal chill from the open door.

Raditz grips his shoulders briefly, fires a determined, “We can do this, we got this,” and marches to the counter. Gestures for Bulma, instructs, “Stay close for a sec.” Snags Goku by the front of his apron as he jogs back toward the smoothie station, proclaims, “If we pull this off, you son of a bitch, I have no idea what I’m gonna do, but until then, no more wild cards. You gotta do exactly what I say, got it?”

Goku beams back a snappy, “Yes, sir!”

Raditz sweeps an arm over the full team, “That goes for everybody! We’re about to get the holiday rush of the century up in here, ‘all hands on deck’ doesn’t even begin to cover it! But we’ve all put in too much work, and we’ve come too far, and we’re this close, we’re this close, and we’re not gonna give up! And let’s be real—that was a great speech, Goku, but it’s gonna get ugly in here, and we gotta keep ahead of it.” He shakes his head, lays down a grave, “There’s no backup coming. There’s no clocking out early. We’re not gettin’ out on time, we’re not gettin’ overtime, or holiday pay, or any of that. We’re down to the wire.” He decrees, “This is it. But we’re a team. We can do this.”

Vegeta’s features settle from apprehensive tension to a kind of thoughtful admiration. “You...you really are a hell of an assistant manager, Raditz,” he affirms.

Raditz looks over the gathering throng with grim determination. Squares his shoulders and rumbles, “Not tonight.” He vaults over the counter and stands tall in front of the milling crowd. Declares, “Tonight...I’m gonna manage!”

4 notes · View notes

puthyflapps · 3 months

Note

That unrequited au’s got me in a gotdang chokehold. Not the sweatshirt! 😭 The description of Regan vs. Shelbyyy help. Wake up Toni baby wake uppp!

If I have to be in my emotional devastation era then so does everyone else x

Toni has no choice but to wake up when this whole situation finally comes to a head during a drunken confrontation at one of Fatin's notorious house parties. Shelby had spent another evening going out of her way to avoid Toni and, subsequently, Regan. Her evasive behavior, combined with Toni’s penchant for picking fights, had culminated in this late-night showdown of sorts.

The two find themselves sharing hard stares and even harsher words. Questions seem to morph into accusations that are a clear result of the last name Shelby bears and the god-fearing reputation that comes with it. Truthfully, it was naive of Shelby to think she could continue to get away with dodging the other girl like this, and it was wholly and entirely ignorant to believe she could survive the ensuing interrogation. Especially knowing how Toni’s always prided herself on her ability to easily get under her skin. Steady cracks begin to appear in her veneer as Toni throws shot after shot her way. Launching question after question at her. Creating a dangerous minefield that Shelby’s not entirely sure she can continue to navigate much longer.

With each passing moment, Shelby can feel the heavy weight of her pageant queen mask slipping further and further down, revealing the raw and vulnerable truth underneath. Slowly, the carefully crafted facade of perfection cracks and crumbles, giving way to the messy and embarrassing reality she's been so desperately trying to hide.

"Why is it so fucking hard for you to be happy for us?"

Toni lobs the question her way in a fit of frustration, and God, the question stings. It feels as though the words themselves have reached out and slapped her with all their might. Every syllable of every word burns at a brutal temperature. Invisible blisters are already steadily forming across the expanse of her cheek. Bubbling painfully. Flesh sizzling silently.

The question hurts. The insinuation hurts. The idea that Toni believes Shelby cares so little for her happiness fucking hurts. However, it’s still not enough to make her admit the truth and she can tell her silence is only upsetting Toni more. Her jaw is clenched and her chest is rising and falling rapidly with heavy breaths. It’s unsurprising when she yells out at Shelby once more:

“Say something!”

Her voice is desperate, trembling with fear and heartache. Shelby can hear the pleading in Toni's tone, her words spilling out with an urgency that cuts deep into Shelby's soul. She can feel the weight of Toni's expectations pressing down on her, begging for an explanation, for any shred of hope that this isn't what she thinks it is. The tension between them is palpable as Shelby struggles to hold back a flood of emotions threatening to overwhelm her. But with each passing moment, it becomes harder to contain the torrent of feelings churning within her.

“Because I love you!”

The declaration fills up the space around them, leaving no room to move. There is nowhere to run; nowhere to escape from the rubble of this crumbling friendship. It’s finally out there. These words, this thing that she's been so petrified to speak of is now out there for Toni to see, to dissect and pick apart. Shelby's soul lay bare in the confines of a bedroom that belonged to neither of them.

With a harsh swipe, Shelby banishes the hot tears carving tracks down her youthful face. She swivels abruptly from Toni, the air cooling where their bodies were once in proximity. Exhaustion-wrought legs buckle under her as she slumps onto the bed; an unruly cocktail of alcohol and fatigue renders her form heavy and unyielding. As she releases a shaky sigh permeating with undertones of regret - it sounds like waves reluctantly crashing onto a deserted beach. Gathering herself, she starts to explain:

"I spent years praying that one day you would wake up and just see me. You would see that I'm here, I've always been here, and you would finally love me back."

"Bee..." Toni's voice cracks. Raw with emotion and tinged with confusion.

Shelby pays no mind to the interruption, however. Instead, she presses on, ignoring how intensely pity-filled brown eyes watch her.

"I know how stupid and pathetic that sounds, but I really thought," her voice trails off momentarily as she tries to swallow the lump in her throat. "There were these moments where I swear it seemed like…like maybe you did love me. Then you met Regan, and I saw the way you looked at her, Toni. I saw it-"

"Shelby, please," Toni begs.

She pleads, for what? Shelby isn't sure. Does the thought of Shelby being in love with her make her skin crawl? Is Toni so disgusted that she can't bear to hear any more about Shelby's sick feelings? Perhaps she wants Shelby to stop, to save herself the embarrassment. Maybe she's simply trying to help Shelby retain what little is left of her dignity.

But Goodkinds aren’t known for being quitters.

So, if she's going to ruin the one good thing in her life and make a complete fool of herself, she may as well go for broke.

"It became painfully obvious that you would never love me the way that I love you. So, I'm sorry if I upset you. I'm sorry that I've been distant and closed off lately, but I am trying my best to learn how to not love you."

Toni's heart feels like it's being mercilessly wrenched from her chest, each beat causing a physical ache that seems to radiate through every limb. She knows she should say something, anything, to make things right, but her mind is foggy, and her tongue feels heavy with the weight of unspoken words. She can feel her knees growing weak with each passing moment. A tightness grips her throat, almost suffocating as a lump forms, making it difficult for her to even breathe. Despite the tears brimming in her eyes, she keeps them locked away; too ashamed to let them fall in front of her best friend.

Trudging forward, each step feeling more burdensome than the last, Toni makes her way over to the bed. Her eyes are transfixed on Shelby's form, as though she's just now seeing her for the first time. The air in the room is charged and tense, thick with unspoken emotions. "Bee," Toni says gently, barely above a whisper, only making Shelby want to hide away from her even more. She buries her head in her hands, unable to handle the softness in the brunette's tone. It feels too delicate, too careful, as if Toni is handling a fragile piece of glass that may shatter at any moment. Shelby's breaths come out in short ragged bursts, her head feeling light and dizzy as if the room is spinning around her. She feels exposed in all the wrong ways. Suddenly, there is a dip on the bed beside her and strong arms snake around her form. In this moment of vulnerability, Shelby can't help but lash out in the most pathetic way she can muster up - pushing weakly against Toni's chest like a petulant child. But Toni persists, ignoring Shelby's halfhearted protest and simply tightening her hold until they meld into one another. Shelby can feel puffs of warm breath tickling her ear as Toni whispers over and over again, "I didn't know."

For what felt like hours, Toni and Shelby remained tangled together like the branches of an old tree. The soft pads of Toni's fingers traced soothing patterns over the expanse of Shelby's back as sobs wracked her body. Two girls, once inseparable, now finding solace in each other's arms amidst the ruins of their friendship. The aftermath of drunken confessions hung heavy in the air between them. As sleep slowly overtook her, Shelby couldn't help but wonder how they had ended up here - lost in each other yet worlds apart. When she wakes the following morning, she knows she can't linger a moment longer. She can't bear to face the harsh light of day and another inevitable rejection from Toni. With a heavy heart, she carefully untangles herself from the sleeping girl and mourns the thought that this will be the first and last time she ever shares a bed with Toni Shalifoe.

#if puthy flapps ever cracked out a third installment of this highly unanticipated story/thot/idea i think it would be mainly Toni's pov the #morning after when she realizes shelby left and that she was a fucking idiot for not jumping at the chance to explain to shelby that she is #in fact in love with her she was just being an idiot who couldn't believe what she was hearing and who was overwhelmed bc pretty girl #unrequited love au #you see what i did there with the whole reference to s1 shoni and the 'i see you' moment from ep 4? am i a literary genius? perhaps #we really really really don't need to talk about the fact that this has been sitting in my drafts for five years just waiting to be posted #me reading about shelby getting her heart broken: i h8 it! i cant handle seeing my baby down and out like this!! author ur going to hell!!!#me writing the most painful and gut wrenching moments that leave shelby in nothing but pain and anguish: mmm mmm mmm this is delicious!!#ask #shoni #shelby x toni #shelby goodkind #toni shalifoe #the wilds

4 notes · View notes