#this is the most 12 year old thing ever
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do you have any pics of lin's handwriting?? i just love it sm 😭
i do have a few! there are a lot of them all over the internet, but i'm gonna share those from my hamilton book because they are the most precious to me:
there are also some other hamilton drafts he posted on twitter some time ago:
and some encanto drafts from his instagram:
& here's a little bonus because i absolutely love this & ngl, it made me cry when i saw it for the first time:
#i am so happy he decided to share all those notes with us#like it's so personal right?#the last one is amazing he was literally 12 years old#i wish we had anything from vivo lol#that would be the most amazing thing ever#lin manuel miranda#lmm#anon#i saved every letter you wrote me*
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Can you tell that I love his season 3 outfit. Can you tell-
#making Lloyd a little round boy is the most fun thing to do ever. highly recommend#little. small guy. little kid. baby. love him.#I probably need to draw more teenage Lloyd but the urge to make him look like your average 12 year old is strong#sensei garmadon#lloyd garmadon#ninjago lloyd#ninjago#ninjago art#art tag
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#just the most unserious thing ever#the way this looks like a 12 year old made it KRHSGSGXGEHWHAHSHDHXHHS#is it obvious im forcing myself to learn how to draw#for them#WHATEVER IT TAKES#barbie x gloria#glorbie
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read the line "a youth of 9 centuries" in this fic and it's rly doin me in like. 900 yrs IS old by gallifreyan standards but it's been over 4 and a half billion years since 10 said i think a time lord lives too long. and even then they only decided they were 900 again bc it was easier than admitting what happened to their body in the war when time was made into a chemical weapon and they were catapulted between birth and death an unknowable amount of times idk. looking back at ur impossibly old self and seeing a child
#im not adding timeless child lore to this bc im thinking abt their remembered lived experience but also that#like its 1 thing to find out ur older than u could ever conceptualize and ur memorys been stolen from u and its another seperate thing#to have aged billions of years in ur own living memory#also being trapped in a haunted house for most of that time#like they are so unwell#doctor who#thoughts#14th doctor#10th doctor#ik 12 also had their memory wiped but i like to think that when they got out of the confession dial it all came crashing back#bc i love to put that old man in situations
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nice fancy new look amane! but i fear something is missing... (grants you a cat tail and ears, for 6 posts) ~have fun!
Amane looks away from. This is a bit too far even for the anons. Making her wear something like this.
(That wasn't specified in the ask, her mind helpfully informs her. But this outfit couldn't of come from no where could it? Really what it did was just reveal how much More she has to go to become a good girl.)
She paws at the bracelets. Their tight, constricting her wrist. (They look really pretty.) She shakes her head. (The new ears showing to everyone who knows how much she really is Enjoying this, it's disgusting, she's disgusting. What is Wrong with her? What is wrong with Them?)
One of them breaks, the beads scatter on the floor.
(4 left for her new look and 6 for cat ears lets go!)
#(dear wise one)#(am i worthy?)#(even i have hope)#ooc: amane is getting ALL her inner feelings (want to be a cat and liking cute things) exposed today#I am Trying my best to remember how it felt like to be ten and have horrific religious guilt#while also remembering how Amane Usually Acts#bit of a trouble since we havent actually Seen Amane be put in a position where something she finds so personally disgusting about herself#gets shown to people#the most we get is her being Pressured into that position but never actually in it#since shes the most repressed 12 year old you will ever see in your life
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I just now notice.
Egg, do you have an artfight account? :0
Oh, no I don't! There's a LOT of egg and eggy accounts out there so if you found one it's probably one of them <:)
#shoutout to my 12 year old self who wanted to make a character but couldn't think of a concept so went for one of the most basic things ever#looking back now I had so much to work with 😭 my name literally is 'garden' in my language there were so many plant stuff I could have done#but alas#child me didn't start creative'ing until a but later#so now I'm just egg#want to shift to something more unique later though :)#wait I spelled bit as but. oh well
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when gerard way said “when i grow up i want to be nothing at all” i felt those words in my gdamn soul bro
#cried alone in my car parked in my driveway for like 17 minutes#i feel so hopeless and useless and stupid so so so stupid i’ll never be smart enough like the other nurses#i can’t fucking think im too slow i don’t know anything#it’s the emergency room and god for fucking bid i have an emergent patient i don’t know wtf to do ever#i don’t know how to initiate protocols or contact interdisciplinary or put in complex orders i don’t know anything i’m so useless#everyone thinks i’m stupid i’ve been on orientation for like 2 months know and i’m still the same useless stupid novice airhead new grad#i just get so frazzled i feel like everyone expects so much out of me and i have to be perfect to meet their standards#but im stupid im subpar im not good enough like them like#ever if they’ve been nurses for years and i’ve only been working as one for legit 2 months it’s just i still don’t know how to do anything#it’s like i can’t think i don’t do things how they want me to do them and then i look stupid im the attending doctor thinks i’m so dumb but#she wouldn’t even hear me out like i know you want both fluids running i know it’s important but he only has.1 IV and they aren’t compatible#we’re trying to start a second IV and he had difficult veins like why are you trying to tell me i’m stupid i know why you ordered it thatway#it’s like nobody gets my dumbass brain but that’s not their fault bc they can think clearly and convey their thoughts to people without#sounding like a fucking dumbass i have no critical thinking skills im just useless i hate this so much i don’t want to be here it sucks#i never wanted to be a nurse i never wanted to be anything i was 12 years old hoping i’d be dead by 18#and now i’m 23 and i’m still fucking here but it’s clear i shouldn’t be i don’t fit in im not fit for society#i should be euthanized like an unwanted dog that’s been at the shelter for too long that’s exactly what i am#20min later still crying can’t stop being a fucking crybaby pitypartying myself i’m the worst oh my god grow the fuck up already#why is everything so difficult for me why can’t i just fit in literally everyone knows i don’t belong#i’m the dumbest most useless new grad orientee and EVERYONE knows it even management it’s so embarrassing#i’m so embarrassed to be alive and take up space that could be filled by someone so much better smarter prepared someone meant to be there#i don’t want this i don’t want any of this i never wanted to grow up im just a kid in my head i’m so pathetic#i wish i was smart and good at something i wish people looked at me and thought o wow i respect her bc she’s also a good nurse#nobody likes me i’m such a burden to everyone the doctors my preceptors other nurses who deserve to be there#i’m leaking snot everywhere today wasn’t even that bad but i think it’s all just hitting me now how helpless i am#i’m so tired of myself and waking up and making a fool of myself every shift fucking stupid loser i hate myself i try so hard and it’s not#it’s not enough it’s never enough im not enough im an imposter i’ll never be as good as the other nurses even tho i’m really really trying#i seriously don’t want to do this anymore i don’t want to be here i can’t do it everyone knows i’m not cut out for this they all talk shit#ramblings
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just finished watching flux. christ that was fucking boring.
#plant rant#not even bad just so so so boring#well. it was bad. but it wasn't as jaw-droppingly bad as series 11 and 12#and at least when those ones were bad they were kind of funny with it#this was just like. 6 hours of the dullest television i've ever seen#and it didn't even feel like dw either. like the split narratives are not something that EVER gets done#bc the doctor is the heart of the show#and it was just never going to work especially with how underwritten these companions are#also i still hate the timeless child storyline. sorry. what was the fucking point.#the doctor isn't god's specialest little boy they're just a coward (affectionate) running away from everything which is 10x more fun#like COME ON so many programmes have a chosen one thing going. we didn't need this.#it's the continuation of the rot moffat started by obsessively making every companion the most important person on the planet.#ugh sorry. my ten year old self lives inside me and occasionally takes over the helm.#flux liveblog
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Thinking back about the httyd books the more I remember the more I am concerned at how dark they got (the whole heart thingy with the big dragon, dying fishlegs, the VAMPIRE DRAGON WITH TRACKING TEETH THAT YOU MENTIONED IS VAGUELY FAMILIAR AND DEFINITELY ALARMING.......and i just remembered something about a sand dragon in the later half of the books that scared the crap out of me as a kid)
OH YEAH THE AMBER SLAVELANDS MONSTER??? HORRIFYING. EYES ON ITS FINGERS. HUGE TALONS. ALMOST DISSOLVED HICCUP ALIVE WITH ITS SALIVA AND TRAPPED FISHLEGS BY BURNING THE SAND AROUND HIM INTO A GLASS CASE.
WE HATE TO SEE IT.
Then the vampire spydragon????
HORRIBLE. HATE IT. DISLODGES ONE OF ITS TEETH INTO YOUR BODY THAT PARALYZES YOU AND SO IT CAN TRACK YOU LATER. NEARLY KILLED HICCUP ON THREE SEPARATE OCCASIONS.
Honestly I'm really glad it got darker and darker the further you read, because this is exactly what i love to see in a book about vikings and dragons. These are some scary awesome dragons!! And Cressida got really creative with all the terrible horrible situations she could throw Hiccup and friends into. (ESPECIALLY book 11. Oh good lord, book 11.)
#httyd books#ask#you know what it kind of reminds me of?#when i was young i read deltora quest which was around the same tone as this series; still a kid's series but got very mature at points#there was a surprising amount of death and life threatening situations but the one that stuck out most to me was a moment in book 6#where the main characters were stuck in an underground tunnel system that was the lair of a giant sluglike creature that was#actually really similar to the amber slavelands monster because it took you underground and trapped you in glass/string until it was ready#to eat you#i just remembered that beast was the scariest thing little me ever read about but it became my favorite book because of it#idk i just really love that type of horror#so its really a shame i never read httyd when i was younger because 12 year old me would have been so smitten with it#I'm smitten with it NOW though!! its STILL my cup of tea!!#putting this series fondly on the shelf next to deltora quest as part of my personal favorite adventure series#went on a tangent there sorry
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#sry its the most embarrassing thing ever having feelings is so embarrassing i hate it i hate when i feel anything at all. so lame#like ok you have a crush what are you fuckin 12 years old#so stupid. grow up moron
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#hanging out with kids is so funny#if you ever want an undeserved confidence boost literally just hang out with kids and teach them how to do something#like a funny trick with your hands or watch a movie together#because they legit think youre an amazing wizard for the most normal stuff#like me telling my nieces that the characters onscreen were named linus and charlie#they were like HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT#or me knowing the words to the 12 days of christmas#its like well kids the song is actually a couple hundred years old#or reading a book with my cousin and knowing a character's name literally because i read it on the page and he was like 'are you a genius'#also they show you the funniest things as skills like#sitting on the ground and you just have to applaud like its the Olympics#which i of course do because they applaud me for knowing who charlie brown is#p
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did I tell you guys about my new favourite Gender hoodie?
it’s a 4XL men’s size also so I look Even Shorter Than Normal in comparison.
#my favourite things about it:#the concept of a guy who looks like a 12 year old boy having a wife#the fact it constantly reeks of lynx deodorant#the fact the most transgender guy ever is wearing a shirt with a joke typically made by cishet old men#but most importantly: comfy.#my posts dont forget this tag bro.
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i saw a good post abt how fatphobia comes up in fat peoples sex/dating lives (which I'll probably reblog later, when i have time to add stuff to the tags) but hooooooh boy it did dredge up some stuff for me!!! and now im upset!!!!
#anime life#ive been fat my whole life and it's!!! its been rough!!!!!!#its been traumatic!!!!!#and the fact that it really feels like no one has ever truly desired me and nobody ever will is. ugh.#i wish it werent part of it bc it feels soooo pathetic#and when ive asked ppl for advice about it what ive gotten in response has been almost insulting#thin ppl spending a lot of time telling me how bad they feel for me. how sad hearing about my personal life made them.#a lot of 'have you tried dating a fat fetishist?'#which like. 1. no they dont want me either 2. theres a good chunk of ppl who fetishize fat bodies but still hate fat people#and 3. idk do other marginalized people get that advice?? that actually they should try dating chasers??#i feel like i havent seen it#or i get told i should try dating fat men. like i wouldnt if given the chance????#i love fat men. they just also. historically. dont like me#ive known a lot of fat men who view dating a fat woman (or whatever i am) as disgusting and demeaning!!! at best its 'settling'!!!#god. one bit of advice i got was i should try dating nerdy guys. incredible#once again: they don't want me either!!!!! im TOO nerdy to the point it's off-putting!!!!#YES im a nerd. NO i dont watch mcu stuff. or dcu. or lotr. or star wars. or got. i dont like any of the big things#my main fandom was and always will be a 12 year old free browser game#im wildly unrelatable and i hate most really big tentpole nerd properties. except dnd that ones ok. but ive also written ttrpgs so like.#idk i think im disqualified from being the nerdy gf* people would actually want lol#anyway. its not a big deal i guess#just the kind of advice that makes you feel even more hopeless.#when i think abt it i cant help but laugh..bc i mean. what else can i do lol
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Disappointment to my parents disappointment to my school disappointment to the government disappointment to the universe. But good thing i also cannot do art. But luckily when it comes to video games, i am a pretty shit gamer tbh as well. But asides from all that, atleast my personality is mild at best.
#night thoughts#just thinkin abt how like#ever since i was little i imagined everything i did to be on my biography#in the same way ppl in history have things like They composed their first symphony at 6 years old They were a master at painting by 9#They made 3 major scientific advancements before they were 18 years old#and like for mine itll be#Cayden foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland was a shit to average human who made major changes in our understandings on just how badly#someone can exist#before the age of 10 he almost drowned 5 times and has never touched a body of water since#despite this she managed to amaze the nation by excelling in academia before becoming depressed at age 12#and flipping this progress on its head#he has not completed a single exam since he was about 13 years old and will continue to disappoint everyone around him#however Caydens life didnt end at school as she had another hobby at home - art#her extensive collection of unfinished fanart and shitty doodles of her cat could cover her bedroom walls which arguably#woudlnt be too difficult as he is also a known hoarder and there is barely any wall left to cover#but despite these various challenges and many undiagnosed illnesses Cayden spent most days sleeping playing minecraft or listening 2 dnd#truly an inspiration to us all; a perfect example of what not to do with your life
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