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#god. one bit of advice i got was i should try dating nerdy guys. incredible
corvidcall · 2 years
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i saw a good post abt how fatphobia comes up in fat peoples sex/dating lives (which I'll probably reblog later, when i have time to add stuff to the tags) but hooooooh boy it did dredge up some stuff for me!!! and now im upset!!!!
#anime life#ive been fat my whole life and it's!!! its been rough!!!!!!#its been traumatic!!!!!#and the fact that it really feels like no one has ever truly desired me and nobody ever will is. ugh.#i wish it werent part of it bc it feels soooo pathetic#and when ive asked ppl for advice about it what ive gotten in response has been almost insulting#thin ppl spending a lot of time telling me how bad they feel for me. how sad hearing about my personal life made them.#a lot of 'have you tried dating a fat fetishist?'#which like. 1. no they dont want me either 2. theres a good chunk of ppl who fetishize fat bodies but still hate fat people#and 3. idk do other marginalized people get that advice?? that actually they should try dating chasers??#i feel like i havent seen it#or i get told i should try dating fat men. like i wouldnt if given the chance????#i love fat men. they just also. historically. dont like me#ive known a lot of fat men who view dating a fat woman (or whatever i am) as disgusting and demeaning!!! at best its 'settling'!!!#god. one bit of advice i got was i should try dating nerdy guys. incredible#once again: they don't want me either!!!!! im TOO nerdy to the point it's off-putting!!!!#YES im a nerd. NO i dont watch mcu stuff. or dcu. or lotr. or star wars. or got. i dont like any of the big things#my main fandom was and always will be a 12 year old free browser game#im wildly unrelatable and i hate most really big tentpole nerd properties. except dnd that ones ok. but ive also written ttrpgs so like.#idk i think im disqualified from being the nerdy gf* people would actually want lol#anyway. its not a big deal i guess#just the kind of advice that makes you feel even more hopeless.#when i think abt it i cant help but laugh..bc i mean. what else can i do lol
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scarletwidowaf · 3 years
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Imagine that no power AU where Natasha falls for this cute artsy girl and slowly finds out (to her horror) that Wanda's not just some random artsy crafts girl who plays guitar, but the (adopted) Granddaughter of the owner of the company Natasha works for. As in oh, oh no, that's Carter's grandbaby, Carter's gonna kill me.
baby carter
Wanda Maximoff x Natasha Romanoff (scarlet widow \ wandanat)
warnings: cursing? Terrible grammar and writing maybe because my brain's having hard time.
A\N: soft scarlet widow- Natasha being awkward and charming and Wanda being absolutely adorable. also, I honestly don't know what I feel bout it - I think it's kinda messy especially compared to my latest work.
words: idk... a lot? 
masterlist
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Natasha's been working in carter's Law Firm for almost 3 years now, slowly climbing up the company's hierarchical food chain, yet not enough to get the well-deserved promotion she was aching to get.
Not that she was ungrateful, hell no. not long after she graduated she got the job in carter's, which was one of the best and strongest law firms in the market. This means that not only that she found herself working alongside some of the best lawyers in the world, she truly couldn't complain about the paycheck she was getting every month.
Natasha wasn't ungrateful, but she was driven and she knew she was great at her job, hell, she was the best young lawyer in her class, yet, after 3 years in the firm, she was still working under Coulson. Which naturally means, she did a lot of dirty work instead of representing her own cases. Working with Coulson was great, really, the man was nice, sweet, a bit nerdy at times, and of course, such a great lawyer. Looking back, Natasha should give him credit for many things she achieved in the last 3 years, and one of them was meeting the love of her life- the one and only Wanda Maximoff.
One Thursday evening, as she was just finishing up some paperwork at the firm's office in New York, she got a call from Coulson, who let her know they were cutting the day short following personal constraints.
Instead of going straight home to rest after the brutal week, as she probably should've done, she decided to text Steve and Tony to see if they were free. luckily for her, her two best friends were willing to sacrifice any plans they had for this fine Thursday night, to celebrate the rare occasion of Natasha getting out of the firm before 8 pm.
The bar steve chose was nice, rather quiet and chill. Naturally, tony didn't seem to be a fan of the blonde's choice, but since it was Steve's turn to choose a place there wasn't much he could've done about it.
"We should sit near the stage" Steve said as he spotted an empty table at the other side of the bar, near the stage.
"What's wrong with you rogers? Do you want us to sit near the stage where random people will try to squick their hearts out to a Celine Dion song?" Tony sneered out, his eyes shooting daggers at the blonde as they sat.
"It's not a karaoke bar, tony" Natasha defended steve's choice.
"Yeah, this bar hosts young talented artists, I think it's awesome and refreshing" the blonde explained.
"I still hate it" tony said.
"We don't care" Natasha said as a waitress came to the table.
Over an hour and a half later, 3 performances were over and two bawls of fries as well, the next artist got onto the stage.
The woman was young, probably younger than Natasha, and beautiful.
She was dressed rather simply compared to the other artists, just a plain white T and an old pair of skinny jeans.
Natasha noticed that some strands of her dark brown hair got stuck under her red guitar's strap.
The woman was smiling nervously as she introduced herself to the crowd and Natasha couldn't help but send her an encouraging small smile.
Surprisingly for her, the woman smiled back.
Tony and steve noticed it as well and they exchanged knowing looks.
The singer's voice was almost as beautiful as her.
Her fingers softly strumming on the frets- as almost as it was second nature, while her soft angelic voice filled the room, sending chills through Natasha's body.
Natasha smiled when she noticed how quiet the bar became, everyone seemed to be enchanted by the young singer.
When the singer finished her preference she smiled brightly to the audience, who cheered for her loudly- as she deserved, and got off the stage.
Natasha noticed the poor singer who was supposed to try and top her incredible performance. He seemed miserable.
"Earth to nat!?" Tony waved his hand in front of Natasha. The redhead blinked twice before tearing her attention from the singer and to her friends.
Steve was smiling at her, his eyes glittering in enthusiasm, while tony smirked at her with raised eyebrows.
"I'm sorry, what?" She asked.
Steve laughed and tony sigh.
"We said that she was really good" the blonde explained
"Not that you haven't noticed it, you've been practically drooling," Tony said.
"I was not" she defended herself
"You were," he said. "But we don't judge you Romanoff, its natural, she was pretty and you didn't get laid in a while. Plus- You always had a thing for the innocent looking ones" he explained and Natasha sent him her dirtiest glare.
If a look could kill tony stark would've been dead by now.
"Okay first, I wasn't drooling. Second, fuck you"
"Nice comeback" tony taunted her with a smirk, knowing full well he wasn't completely wrong.
"You should ask her out. You seem to like her"
Steve smiled at her and Natasha knew he meant it- he was was always the sweetest one of the three.
"Fancy her" tony corrected steve.
"She Like her" steve raised his eyebrow at his friend.
"Fancy" tony taunted
"Li-" steve was about to argue again until Natasha cut the stupid argument off.
"Fuck off you too," she said and waved to the waiter, hoping that another beer might make the two less annoying.
When the waiter didn't come, Natasha got frustrated, her two friends started to argue over another idiotic thing: steve's lack of love life and tony's girlfriend's lack of taste In men.
"I'm gonna get a refill," she said as she got up. The two sent her quick okays before getting back to their bickering.
When Natasha approached the bar she noticed a familiar face.
The singer was sitting in front of the bar's counter with a glass of mojito. She seemed to be having a polite conversation with the bartender.
"Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt but can I have a refill?" Natasha asked the bartender. The man smiled at her and nodded before he replaced her empty cup with a new one.
The singer smiled at her softly again- Natasha smiled nervously at her.
"I'm Natasha" Natasha said awkwardly to the girl, her cheeks flushed.
Wanda smiled back at her "hey Natasha, I'm Wanda" Wanda, the singer said as she held out her hand for a handshake.
Natasha took her hand, praying to whatever god exist that her hand wasn't sweaty.
'What's wrong with me?' She thought as she mentally faces palmed herself.
"I liked your performance," Natasha said and Wanda smiled at her.
Natasha smiled back, happy she had the privilege to be the reason the singer smiled.
"Thank you" wanda thanked her.
"I saw you at the front line," Wanda said and Natasha nodded.
"Yeah, my friend likes this place. He chose the table" she admitted.
"That's nice, I'm guessing it's your first time in here"
"Yeah, it is actually. Was I that obvious?" Natasha joked and Wanda laughed.
"Just a little bit," Wanda said with a smile "what do you think about it so far?"
"It's really nice, honestly" Natasha admitted.
"Yeah, I think that as well. I come here often with my cousin and brother but its the first time I was on stage"
"Well, you were great. Seriously. You were" she started before gazing at the stage briefly, catching the sight of the young singer who went up after Wanda. "sorry, are- the best singer" she continued and Wanda blushed.
"Thank you it means a lot"
"Anytime," Natasha said back
"I should really go... It was lovely meeting you Natasha." Wanda said as she checked the time, a small frown on her lips.
"You too," Natasha said.
Wanda nodded at her before getting up and turning around from Natasha to pull her guitar.
when Natasha took a small sip from her beer she catches the bartender's eye.
The guy was giving her the 'are you kidding me?!' look- who was a well-known look she was familiar with from years of friendship with tony.
"Hey Wanda-" Natasha said to Wanda, who was about to walk away. The singer turned back around with a small confused smile.
"Yeah?" She asked
"Would you like to, maybe, I don't know.. go out sometime?" Natasha stuttered.
'Did I just fucking stuttered!?' She mentally kicked herself.
"Yeah.. id like that" Wanda said with a smile. The brunette took a pen out of her jeans pocket and scribble something on Natasha's arm.
"Call me," Wanda said with a smile before she smiled at the bartender, who tried to look busy with anything but them.
"Bye bucky" she laughed at his antics and left.
Natasha looked up from the scrabble on her hand, who was- of course Wanda's number with a small heart at the bottom, and exchange looks with bucky the bartender.
"That went well, right?" She asked him dumbfounded and he laughed before handing her a shot glass with vodka.
"Yeah it did.. friendly advice, don't fuck it up" he said as passed her a slice of lemon.
Natasha downed the shot, nodded at him as she took her beer, and left the lemon on the counter. Her legs taking her back to her table. both of her friends were staring at her with wide eyes.
"Hell yeah Romanoff!" Tony said excitedly.
Natasha smiled at tony before looking at steve with a chuckle "the bartender is your type" she said as she set.
Steve gave her a 'are you kidding me look before his eyes traveled from her to the bartender at the bar.
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Not long after Natasha and Wanda met again, a few times actually. 10 minutes into their first date, Natasha knew she was in trouble.
Wanda was completing Natasha on almost every level she thought about.
Wanda was carefree and dorky as Natasha was a stressed workaholic.
Wanda liked homemade meals and cooking while Natasha was practically living on boxed mac and cheese or takeout.
Natasha loved to binge movies and random tv shows into the night while Wanda liked getting up early to watch the sunrise.
Wanda loved fruity alcoholic drinks while Natasha preferred it clean.
Wanda was a splash of color in Natasha's black and white life.
Not long after, Natasha asked wanda to be her girlfriend- it happened in a month and a half after their first meeting as the two women laid in Wanda's bed, naked and sweaty with their limbs intertwined.
She could've done it more romantic, but both girls truly couldn't give a damn about it.
Wanda's apartment was incredible.
The studio apartment was big and bright.
The apartment's walls color was cream and the tall window frames were covered with white curtains.
In the beginning, Natasha didn't really understand why wanda even bother to use these curtains since the sun would light the room either way, (she found out about this terrible trait when she first stayed over and found herself awake and cursing under her breath at 7 am) But, luckily for her, Natasha learned rather fast why the younger girl's windows where ALWAYS covered. It was simple, really.
Wanda had this habit to walk around the apartment half-naked, or completely naked on better days, and as much as Natasha was grateful for that (and she was), she truly wasn't the one to share, especially not the image of her naked girlfriend as she walked around the apartment or squirmed under her touch on the bed- or anywhere they chose, really.
"Nat?" Wanda whispered softly as she was playing with her sleepy girlfriend's hair and spread soft kisses on her back.
"Hm?" Natasha hummed, half asleep.
"There's something I need to tell you" Wanda said softly. Her voice barely a whisper.
"Is everything okay, baby?" Natasha asked as she turned around to face the taller woman.
Natasha's eyebrows were tightened together in worry and Wanda couldn't help but kiss her on the nose.
"Yeah" she whispered and Natasha waited patiently for her to continue "it's just that.. there's something I need to tell you... about my family"
"Okay.." Natasha encouraged her to continue.
"My family-" she started, but got cut off by Natasha's phone buzzing on the nightstand.
"Fuck" Natasha cursed before turning around to check who it was- and if she can ignore it.
The name on the screen was definitely a sight she could not ignore.
"Just a second baby, it's my boss" she said as she pulled herself up to answer the phone. by doing so, Natasha missed wanda's guilty lip bite.
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That's how things went for another month. In this month Natasha got the promotion she wanted which meant she was enthusiastic for days later- and Wanda couldn't bear the thought of ruining it for her.
And that's how it went overtime.
Every time Wanda manage to muster enough courage to tell Natasha whatever she wanted to say, something happened and ruined it.
But jean Racine was indeed right: 'there are no secrets that time does not reveal', and unfortunately for both women, wanda's secret got revealed in a rather unpleasant and awkward situation.
It was a pretty normal day for Natasha.
Or at least it started as one. she spent the night at Wanda's again, which means she had a hard time leaving bed in the morning but she managed it so now, a few hours later, she was having lunch at a deserted meeting room with a few friends from the office
"hey, nat.. is that your girlfriend??" Sam asked, his eyes following a girl who passes near the glass door.
"Wanda?" Natasha asked him confused.
They weren't supposed to meet today for lunch, didn't they?
"Do you have another girlfriend I'm not aware of?" He asked
"Shut up Wilson, why would Wanda be here!?"
"I don't know Romanoff, she's your girlfriend. All I can say is that she seemed to be in a deep conversation with Sharon"
"Carter?"
"the one and only" Carol whispered and Gamora rolled her eyes at the girl.
"Will you stop being weird?" Gamora asked and Carol shook her head.
"Why would she have a conversation with Sharon fucking Carter" Natasha asked confused
"Maybe you should ask her...?” the man asked
"Oh shit I think they're coming over here, pretend to be busy," Carol said as she dived back into her salad.
The others do the same as well.
A few moments later the glass door was pulled open by Sharon.
Her smile wide.
"Hey guys" Sharon said as she opened the door and git into the room, wanda following behind-
Probably unaware of her girlfriend's presence until moments later when their eyes met.
Wanda looked like she was about to die.
"Wanda?" Natasha asked. Her eyebrows knitted together.
"Wait, You know each other?" Sharon asked as she turned to the brunette
"Yeah-" she started
"How do you guys know each other" Natasha cut her girlfriend off. Her eyes were still wide with confusion.
"We're cousins" the blonde explained and Wanda bit her lip.
Natasha stared at her girlfriend, hoping to get an explanation from her.
"Wait how do you to know each other"
"She's my girlfriend," Wanda said softly as Natasha got up from her chair.
Sharon's eyes were wide "didn't see that coming" she muttered
"Tell me about that" Natasha said, more to her girlfriend than to her boss.
"I'm going out for a smoke," she said simply before leaving the room.
"Nat-" Wanda started as she followed her, leaving the other remaining members of the room confused.
"Really?" Sharon asked again.
"Well, that was something," sam said and gamora nodded.
"That's classic," Carol said as she quietly laughed to herself
Meanwhile, at the elevator, things were going less smoothly for the couple.
"You're my boss's niece and you didn't think about telling me this?" Natasha shot at Wanda as the elevator door opened and the two went outside.
"I was trying to tell you, nat. I swear. That was the thing I tried to tell you about this whole month But every time I tried to something happened" Wanda explained as Natasha lit her cigarette.
"Why didn't you say anything when we started dating and got to know each other?" Natasha asked.
The lawyer wasn't sure if she was more hurt by the fact Wanda kept this secret from her or terrified by the fact she was dating her boss's niece
"Because I didn't want you to look at me the way you look at me right now" Wanda defended herself.
"How do I look at you wanda?" Natasha asked hurt.
"Like I'm no longer the same artsy girl you met at the bar" Wanda whispered
Natasha laughed bitterly
"Come on Wanda you know I don't give a shit about it. I love you and the fact you're a carter won't change it. You are the same artsy girl from the bar, who happened to be my boss's nephew. You should've said something."
"You're right, I shouldn't have kept this away from you. It was destined to get out eventually and the last thing I ever wanted was to hurt you" Wanda took the cigarette out of Natasha's lips.
"I made a mistake and I can't change it."
Wanda continued and Natasha sigh
"I wanted you to know me, and I was scared you'll judge me or see me as a carter like most people do."
Wanda put her hand on Natasha's cheek and Natasha kissed her palm, encouraging her to continue her speech.
"Fuck, nat, I'm not even in this business- yeah they're my family but that's it. the only other connection I have to this firm is the fact I'm in love with one of its lawyers" Natasha's eyes lit up and Wanda blushed furiously.
"You're in love with me?" Natasha asked as she played pulled her girlfriend closer, A small cocky smile on her lips as Wanda rolled her eyes
"For someone so fucking smart you can be so dense sometimes," Wanda said and Natasha laughed "Of course I do moron."
"I love you too," Natasha said before kissing Wanda softly on the lips.
"Can you forgive me, then?"
"It depends," Natasha said with the best poker straight face she could muster.
"On?" Wanda asked with her eyebrow raised.
"Is there any other relative- who can fire my ass, I need to know about?"
Wanda smiled kissed Natasha's lips deeply.
"No!" She said when they broke away and the two laughed.
Natasha wiped away the younger woman's tears before kissing her lips again. This time softly.
"Good, now if you don't mind maximoff. My break's over and I should really get back before your cousin will fire my ass"
"Well technically.. she's my cousin in law, I'm peggy's grandchild, adopted one, and she's her nephew" Wanda explained
"Can she fire my ass?" Natasha asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Well.. yeah..?"
"Then my point still stands.
"Shut up Romanoff! you and I both know Sharon won't' fire your ass' because you're the best lawyer in this damn place" wanda argued
"Who fucks her cousin..-"
"You're right.. she might fire you" wanda joked and took her girlfriend's hand in hers.
"Or murder me" Natasha continued as her girlfriend pulled her back into the building and to the elevator.
"Yeah" Wanda laughed when they got into the elevator and the doors closed.
Wanda kissed Natasha's lips softly before pressing the button of their destined floor. "Or murder you"
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oftenderweapons · 4 years
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The Conversations - part 1/3
Pairing: Namjoon x OC; Yoongi x OC; Jungkook x OC Wordcount: 2.6k words Genre: slice of life Rating: suggested 18+ (Discussion of NSFW topics)
Hi lovelies! Here comes that new format I mentioned earlier this week. I imagined how the guys would discuss their girlfriends, having “The Chat” about kinks and habits, just talking, asking for advice and giving each other tips. 
The first conversation is between Yoongi, Namjoon and Jungkook, talking about their girlfriends, respectively Kitten, Vixen and Candy. 
There’s a little bit of everything (angst, fluff, smut), also, there’s a reference to Yoongi’s scenario in Magic Touch, I’ll just move on to disclaimers and trigger warnings. 
TRIGGER WARNINGS: Mentions of smut, oral (m/f giving/receiving), Jeongguk is whipped AND horny, various levels of filth (quickies, phonesex, boobjobs,  bondage, waxplay, cumplay, spankings, daddy kink -- I AM SO FUCKING SORRY, THAT WAS SO SELFISH OF ME -- pornography, sex toys, blindfolds, breathplay and choking, sensation play, impact play, exhibitionism/voyerism), communication issues, mentions of premature ejaculation, past traumas and general traumatic experiences, Yoongi and tongue technology (do I even need to say this?) Namjoon is, quoting Yoongi, “a beast”. Final fondness.
Here you can find my masterlist!
———————————
Jungkook came out of his room with his head hanging low, heading straight for the terrace outside the kitchen. There Namjoon and Yoongi were drinking their morning coffee. It was roughly six am, a smoky dawn calling London awake. The summery hotness and the usual humidity announced another day of sweating and emptying water bottles. 
Jeongguk’s hyungs, talking quietly, were in perfectly symmetrical positions, elbows propped on the railing on the edge of the terrace, holding the cups in their hands, looking at the mild sunshine foreshadowing an orange dawn.
“‘Morning.” They both turned. 
“Morning Jeonggukie,” said Yoongi, slightly more reactive.
“Morning JK,” greeted Namjoon. “You headed to the gym?” He asked, not noticing the fact that Jeongguk was still in his pjs. 
“I just called Candy.” He settled himself beside Joon. 
“She all right?” Namjoon asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Sort of. We fought a couple weeks before I left.” He dragged his hands roughly in his hair. “I just miss her a lot.”
“You’ve been dating for two months or something, right?” Yoongi asked.
“Yeah. We were quite new.” He replied.
“What do you miss of her?” Joon asked, sipping some coffee afterwards.
“Hyung, like. It’s a lot to unpack. We, you know...”
Namjoon gave him a side glance, his lips turning into a smirk. “You mean you’ve slept together.”
Yoongi struggled not to smile. 
“A couple times.” Jeongguk admitted. He toyed with his fingers. “And then a lot.”
Yoongi couldn’t hold back a snort. “It’s okay.” He put down his cup on the wide edge of the balcony. “At the beginning you can’t ever let go.” He remembered the first weeks after he and his girlfriend had started being more physical. “The first times with Kitten… God.” He brushed his palm down his face. “I was a mess.”
“A good mess or a bed mess?” Namjoon asked, raising an eyebrow. 
“I don’t even know.” He laughed. “It was never enough.” He thought about the last time they facetimed. “Any spare moment was with her. Damn, I was down for anything. Quickies at lunch, calling her when I was done with practice to have phonesex, seeing her at three am just to get off the high.”
“Vixen’s a sucker for late night sex.” Joon offered to fill in the silence. “But she’s always game. Her sex drive is seriously impressive.” 
“And you love it, don’t you, old sport?” Yoongi teased.
“I love many, many things of her.” Namjoon said before laughing.
The three stayed silent for a while. 
“I miss sucking her tits.” Jeongguk murmured out of the blue. 
Namjoon and Yoongi also stared into the void, lost in their own thoughts. After a few seconds Namjoon reconnected and looked at the youngest. “What the fuck, man?”
Yoongi licked his lips, then opened his mouth a couple times just to close it again, trying to find words. 
“I mean, they’re so soft. And the shape is...” Jeongguk pressed his fingertips to his eyelids. 
Yoongi emitted a strange sound.
“Are you okay, hyung?” Namjoon asked. 
“Sorta. It’s just. Yeah, tits are great.” He said, half unconsciously, blinking in silence. “I mean, Kitten has a nice pair.”
“Am I the only ass man in this conversation?” Namjoon turned to look at both men, finding no sympathy. 
“Vixen does have an incredible bum, sorry hyung if I looked.” Koo admitted. 
“It’s okay, I also looked at Candy’s chest, but I swear it was not intentional.” Namjoon confessed. 
“Do you think we’ll have some free time after the tour?” Yoongi murmured.
“Are you planning on fucking Kitten for, like, a week straight?”
“Sorta.”
“I just wanna die between Vixen’s thighs.” Namjoon whispered, lost in his train of thought.
“Send her to Hongkong?” Yoongi asked ironically.
“I mean, I hope we’re all in the oral team. Hyung, you for sure.”
“Loud and proud, boy.” Yoongi quipped back. 
“JK?” Namjoon asked. 
“Yeah.” He replied, still lost in his own imagination. “Hyung, have you ever tied Vixen up?”
“No. Usually we get too caught up.” Namjoon took another sip of his coffee, but unfortunately his cup was empty. “Do you want some?” Joon asked Jeongguk, pointing at his cup. 
“No, but could you get me some OJ, please?”
“Got you.” He went back to the kitchen. 
“Are you thinking of playing with Candy?” Yoongi asked carefully.
“Don’t know. It would be new. As Namjoon hyung said, we also get too caught up, so I think I’ll need to plan it out, if we ever decide to.”
“Talk about it with her.” Yoongi recommended. “You should ask her what she likes. And tell her about what you like.”
Namjoon was back. “We doing the whole kink talk?”
“Just making sure that the kid knows about communication.”
“Right.” Namjoon nodded, handing Jeongguk his glass of juice. 
“Did you and Vixen have the talk?” Yoongi asked, honestly curious. Namjoon’s girlfriend was a bit of a wildcard, looking classy and educated, but also endearingly nerdy, fond of nature and hopelessly in love with her boyfriend. Each time he saw how Namjoon melted everytime she cuddled and reassured him, Yoongi really hoped that the boy would understand how precious she is, how rare it is to be in love like that.
“We did. She was like ‘oh, yeah, by the way, would you mind spanking me every now and then?’”
Yoongi giggled. “I can only imagine your reply.”
“I think it was something like ‘that’s okay but would you put up with my daddy kink?’”
Yoongi positively squealed at that. Jeongguk was similarly amazed. 
“But with her it’s like-- It’s so strange to explain. I guess the best way to say it is that half of the sex is mental.” He should have avoided the second cup of coffee. But it was already there. “It’s the talking. Putting her in the right mindset, making her feel loved on the brain.”
“Good thing you're smart, hyung.” Jeongguk said. “I would have zero chances.”
“It’s not being smart.” Namjoon replied, “It’s more of a-- connection.”
“I think that you having this… dominant, but also nourishing role really puts her into a mindset of full trust.” Yoongi commented. 
“I think so.” Namjoon concluded. “And then the sex is mindblowing. Like, I get why everyone is so obsessed with it. Our limits are very similar, and in that we don’t feel like we’re limiting or pressing each other into things.”
“That’s good. But exploring can be fun.” Yoongi argued. “Kitten’s sensitive chest made me get into things I never thought I would explore.” 
Namjoon again raised an eyebrow. 
“Come on, hyung give me some ideas.” Jeongguk teased. 
“You tits freak.” Yoongi joked playfully. “Hickeys, but that’s obvious. And a lot of mouth activity in general. Oh, boobjobs.”
“God, does that work?” Namjoon was skeptical.
“Depends. Lots of lube, and the right angle. Kitten puts her mouth on the head, that’s the trick.”
“That sounds incredible.” Jeongguk commented, saving the idea in a corner of his mind.
“Trust me, it is. We’re also dealing with a bit of a choking kink, but we’re approaching it carefully, Kitten tends to panic when she feels like she’s suffocating. And waxplay.”
“That’s a nice one.” Namjoon commented. 
“Still getting into it. But she’s liking it a lot. We got the candle a couple weeks before tour. Used it twice. I can’t help but think about it.” He smiled, thinking about how Kitten had enjoyed experimenting that night, how loud she had been when she’d come apart, how she had curled up in a ball at his side, happy and sated, his own body spooning her. He missed his woman, missed the calm she carried around with her, missed her little voice, but also her whispering sweet nothings to him, petting his hair while he was falling asleep. In general, sleeping was way harder without her, his body waking up exhausted, his mind frail because he did sleep but he did not rest. He felt constantly restless.
“I really wanna try that too. But what about toys? Like I was thinking nipple clamps?” Jeongguk asked, his ears blushing a little. 
“That kind of stuff must be tried together. The first few times Vixen and I experimented, we usually shopped together, so that we could understand what kind of sensation she could handle, what she would like, and what wasn’t her thing.”
“Like what?” 
“Well, for example, if Candy is very sensitive, you should avoid clamps and go for tweezers, where you can pick the amount of pressure you want to put there. And that’s in term of pinching. Considering what you said about sucking, probably she could enjoy pumps. These days there’s pretty much anything, if you’re willing to look for it.”
“Toys, uh?” Yoongi questioned.
Namjoon lifted his shoulders. “You recommended experimenting. I like watching her. I’m really visual, so I like watching stuff.”
“Like movies?” Jeongguk asked. “Like watching them together? Adult movies?”
“Yeah, sometimes that too. Vixen’s very visual too. And we like finding inspiration every now and then.”
“By the way thanks for the advice, Kitten loved it.” Yoongi smiled like the cat that got the cream.
“You’re welcome.” Namjoon winked at him. 
“I think I could try that, with Candy. It’s just that I get so shy about it. That’s why we fought.”
“You fought because you’re shy?” Yoongi asked.
“It actually started because I couldn’t look at her while she, uhm- While I was in her mouth?” Jeongguk shrinked into his shoulders. “Then it got bad because she said I never really look at her and she feels like I don’t like her, like I wished I were doing that with someone else. Which is absolute bullshit.” He looked upset. 
Namjoon placed a hand between Koo’s shoulder blades. “You’ll work that out. If you really love her then the two of you will find a way around it.”
“Blindfolds?” Yoongi suggested.
“How?” Namjoon questioned, interested. 
“I don’t know, maybe he’ll find confidence if he’s not feeling watched.”
“Hyung, I think that’s not it.” Jeongguk claimed, almost frustrated. “She wants to be watched by me.”
“Then why don’t you watch?”
“I’m afraid I’ll like it too much,” he said, brows knitted together. “That I’ll just last too little. I’m afraid she’ll judge me for what I like, for how I react.” 
“The first time Vixen put her mouth on me I lasted literally two minutes.”
“Anytime Kitten puts her mouth on me I last literally two minutes.”
Both men laughed and high-fived each other.
Jeongguk smiled at the exchange. Seeing them like this made him really feel like anything could be fixed. They had found the right balance with their girlfriends, being in love and happy. He could have that too. Talking with Candy couldn’t be that bad if that's how he would feel afterwards. And probably Candy really wanted to have that conversation too, since she often asked him if he liked what she was doing, if he could show her how to do things right. He might get off in two minutes but if it were for him, he would probably feel proud if Candy couldn’t last two minutes below him. Candy would probably feel happy that he enjoyed it that much.
“Listen, no matter what they say, having too much stamina is not always that good. Vixen’s got a dollmouth. It’s so tiny it’s almost ridiculous. Lovely. Sometimes I feel like crying about it." His expression was getting dreamy." "But I’m going off at a tangent here. What I mean is that it’s physically tiring for her. Actually for most people. Jaw hurts, throat burns, gag reflex sucks, tongue cramps, anything.”
Yoongi nodded. 
“And I’m sure your stamina is impressive, which means, maybe you’ll last two minutes in her mouth but hey, there’s second round.” He opened his arms in front of him, almost spilling the coffee.
“And third.” Said Yoongi. “If need be. Kitten needs minimum two.”
Namjoon groaned. “Vixen’s like… either a very good, powerful one, or a whole session. That’s when the toys come into help. With her it’s not a matter of how many but of how often. It goes from three or four times a week to everyday.”
“Good thing you’re a beast.” Yoongi commented.
“I do my best.” Namjoon replied honestly. “And again, it’s not like only fucking. Sometimes foreplay is just enough, you know.”
Yoongi nodded. “I could eat Kitten out just for the sake of it. Sometimes I don’t even need to fuck her, the pleasure is all in watching her.”
"I like watching Candy, when she cums. It's that whole look." He circled his open hand in front of his face. "And she said she likes watching me too. That's why she wanted me to… look at her."
"She probably feels empowered by it. Kitten likes feeling powerful when she gets me going. Same reason why I love eye contact when I eat her." Yoongi's voice was absolutely neutral, as if it were a mere clinical statement. 
Jeongguk’s voice was tiny. “I’ve never eaten Candy out.” But God, if he wanted to...
Namjoon turned, alarmed but trying to keep it cool, sensing his discomfort.
“It’s always felt like she didn’t want it. Anytime I tried going there with my mouth, she’d drag me up towards her face. I seriously don’t get it.”
“You must talk it out, Ggugie.” Yoongi confirmed. “People have traumas, bad experiences, shitty exes -- and it might be her case. Kitten had never been eaten out before me. Said her ex didn’t like the taste. It took us a while, a blindfold and a lot of safewording to get through it.”
“Thanks, hyung.” Jeongguk replied.
“It’s okay, man.” By now the sun was rising. In a couple minutes the whole house would be awake, Jimin’s feet would pad softly on the plush carpet, his eyes still half closed from sleep. Jin would start moving kitchenware around, making a lot of noise to cook breakfast. Hobi would appear shirtless to grab his food and eat it on the sofa, chatting with his family or friends on the phone. Lastly Taehyung’s yawn would finally signal the beginning of their day.
“It’s beautiful.” Namjoon murmured, watching the sun rise. 
“I really hope Candy comes back to me.” He thought about her tender smile, the one she had on her face after their first time. He thought about how she talks so soft in the morning, how she always texts him before going to bed. The mug in the kitchen that he had bought for her, the spare toothbrush in his bathroom at home. The smell of her shampoo, just perfectly sweet. Her legs tangled in his sheet. Her underwear smelling like his fabric softener. The way her mouth moves when she says his name. He missed it all.
“She’ll come back.” Namjoon enveloped an arm around his friend. “She loves you.”
“I hope I find someone that loves me like Vixen loves you.” He confessed.
“She’s special.” Joon’s eyes watered a little.
“Indeed she is,” Yoongi confirmed.
“Just like Kitten to you, hyung.” Joon looked at Yoongi. He looked truly emotional.
“Kitten’s a masterpiece.” He sniffled and put his hand on Namjoon’s shoulder, lightly leaning in. 
“A few days and we’ll be back to the girls. And it will be okay again.” Namjoon encouraged them, his dimpled smile hopeful at the rise of dawn.
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