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bumblingbabooshka · 26 days

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What I Say: I'm fine. What I Mean: There was a Star Trek Novel in which Tuvok and Jack Crusher (Beverely's Husband) have to go undercover in a bathhouse that they think is a brothel to get information out of a potential lead and because of a series of hijinks at one point must come to terms with the fact that they're definitely going to have to go into the boss's private room completely naked and might have to go even further than that to get the info they truly need. They were ready to go all in on that "I'm not gay but a mission's a mission" life.

Transcripts under the cut

[Image 1:

“We’re here to meet someone,” he said. “I was told that a Melacron named Pudris Barrh enjoyed visiting this establishment.” The alien smiled. “Oh, I see…you’re one of Barrh’s boys,” she remarked with a knowing lilt. Barrh’s boys? Crusher asked himself. What did she mean by that? He experienced a moment of alarm but kept his composure.

“If you can get past Old Scowly there,” the female continued, “you can join Barrh at his pleasures if you like." She raised a long slender arm and pointed to a gilded door to her right.] [Image 2:

“I don’t know for certain what kind of establishment this is,” said the commander, “but I can make a pretty good guess.”

“Unfortunately,” the Vulcan whispered back with sincere and undisguised revulsion, “so can I.”

"Still, we may have to go along with it.” Crusher regarded Tuvok. “Would that…pose a problem?” “Naturally,” the Vulcan replied.

The commander grunted. “I was afraid you would say that.”

“And knowing what I do of human marriage customs,” said Tuvok, “I would imagine it would pose a problem for you as well.”

Crusher looked lost “Maybe we could just play along for some of it…for the sake of-”

“My master will see you now,” said Old Scowly. He had reappeared before the Vulcan knew it. “You may enter through the changing room, remove your clothes, and join Pudris Barrh at his pleasures.”] [Image 3:

As it happened, Tuvok wasn’t happy either. If he didn’t know better, he would have said that the uncomfortable sensation in the pit of his stomach was apprehension. Of course, that was impossible. His control over his emotions was impeccable. And yet the sensation remained.

“There must be another way,” said Crusher. “There is no other way,” the Vulcan told him. “This is the situation in which your plan has placed us.” He knew his words sounded biting, but he didn’t wish any of them back.

The human ran his hands through his thick, dark hair. “Damn it,” he said, “If Beverely ever…” “Find out about this?” the ensign suggested.

Frowning, Crusher nodded. “But as you say, there’s no other option open to us. I guess we’ll just deal with whatever comes as best we can.” He grunted. “The things we do for king and country.”] [Image 4:

When the air cleared for a moment - a byproduct of their entrance - the Vulcan was able to get a better look at their host. He was rather corpulent for a Melacron, it seemed, and more pale-looking than most.

As thick, sludgy ripples made their slow way outward from Barrh’s generous torso, he waved to Tuvok and Crusher. “Please, gentlemen, join me. We’ve not met yet, but there are few better places to get to know someone than in The House of Comfort!”

[Crusher] and Tuvok exchanged a quick glance. Taking a deep breath, the human walked up to the carpeted stairs and placed first one foot, then the other, into the hot, liquid muck.

The ensign had little choice but to follow suit. He assured himself, as he sank up to his chest in the thick, surprisingly pleasant-smelling stuff, that there was realy no logical reason T’Pel ever had to become acquainted with this misadventure.

Besides, he reflected, there was quite a good chance that the majority of his and Crusher’s actions would be classified. He had to confess that he found some comfort in the prospect.]

Bonus:

Tuvok and Crusher apparently both go home and tell their wives about this experience. I don't know if we learn of T'Pel's reaction but Beverely apparently thinks its hilarious!

#novel experiences #TUVOK. HEY.#-POINTS-#HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS #Tuvok CANNOT keep getting into dubiously moral but incredibly gay scenarios he just can't I'm gonna start howling at the moon #The fact that he has a wife is so funny #GOD there was an old post I LOVED that was like #'I know Tuvok has a wife and kids and I'm so happy for him but he has sex with men.'#<- VERY paraphrased by me #st voyager #tng #Jack Crusher #Tuvok #st voy #star trek #Is he....you know? -gestures- One of Barrh's boys?#Crusher: We might have to suck this guy's dick Tuvok. / Tuvok: Tch.#I love that Tuvok's like 'he knew his words sounded harsh....and he meant it<3 He meant every syllable <3'#him being so devoted to his wife just makes the whole thing more lascivious /positive

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trentcrimminallybeautiful · 8 days

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i think the diamond dogs should play improv games just bc it would amuse me, an ex theater kid, specifically

#ted and beard ofc are reading each others minds #trent is shockingly good at it but only when he forgets to be self conscious #also see: he does both best and worst with ted (best when he's not being self conscious #worst when somehow the prompt gets too touchy or 'romantic' bc Crush Crush Crush Brain Panic)#(please the image of ted in character hugging him or something and trent just. red. brain crashed. no longer improving just frozen. barely #manages to recover and even then it was not subtle. unclear if ted is a) genuinely oblivious b) teasing him and thinks trent knows that #c) something else(??) )#roy is too stiff most of the time but if he gets really into it he gets REALLY into it.#best way to get this result is to involve phoebe or another child #higgins did community theater at some point and is the one teaching them all the games. beard also seems to have done intense research #but higgins is the one with EXPERIENCE #not that i think beard and ted couldn't have done an improv duo in college or something but in this scenario they did not #nate surprisingly is pretty good at it once he gets into it like it takes him a second but #then he's like. really getting into it and he's very quick on his feet #new way to go mad with power (affectionate): the rush you get when you make the perfect snap back comedic line/acting choice #also while trent is so good paired with so many of them i think he and nate would be a hilarious duo. they're SO funny.#they complement each other well and are both quick & clever #esp if it's about a mutual interest (although one of them taking the lead on something else like nate and music while the other plays off t #em is also good) but like #please i just had the iamge of them basically doing a bit where they're like. those mean old gay muppets in the theater?#like trent and nate improv duoing as some bitchy reviewers just going back and forth and it's so FAST and SO funny #beard records it and posts it somewhere and it goes viral.#god don't even get me started on the idea of some sort of official richmond social media/the gang posting random clips on social media #bc the ideas i have are so funny.#also largely trent centric but what do you want from me okay i'm just a little slut.

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novantinuum · 2 months

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when the blind reactors you watch are starting to get into the Nitty Gritty of plot and you are going to have to be Very Careful in your meta ramble comments from now on so as to not accidentally sway their thinking or Give Anything Away

#SoEverdream on patreon just finished s3 #and got to the 'rose shattered pink diamond' (*major irony Air Quotes*) ''reveal''#we really in it now boys #jen rambles #man tho it's so funny at the end of s3 he was musing on if the reveal of what rose ''did'' would at all change steven's willingness to be #more offensive on the field in a situation of need and he was like... 'man part of me... actually really wants that and a part of me #Does Not because steven is a literal child and at the end of the day i want him to stay innocent'#and meanwhile in the back of my head i'm just #war flashbacks to 16 yr old steven Going On the Offensive and uh #it not ending well :')#which i still think... narratively- how it's presented- was kinda genius on a meta level #they play up that fight the whole episode... building up towards it with a whole anime-esque training montage #playing it up like some fuckin shounen shenanigans #for Many audience members i think they were like 'holy shit lets GOOOOOO fight fight fight'#but then like #WHAM. consequences hit #and it's not a fun little shounen fight scene anymore #and you realize that this is the worst possible thing that could've ever happened to steven- truly giving himself over to the offensive #like god damn holy SHIT i cannot wait for this reactor to eventually get there #bc his reaction to steven having to stab a sword clear through bismuth was VISCERAL #and i just KNOW it'll be the same at That Moment #and i CRAVE it #but i need to be patient ahahah #all in good time :)

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camellcat · 5 months

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ohhh I don't know how to articulate that I think rose tyler and clara oswald would be best fucking friends other than I'm like 20 minutes into s8 and I've never been so sure of taking two companions and going "look at my barbies they drive cool cars and talk shit together"

#rose gets ten they share eleven and clara gets twelve #which is a joke bc rose loves him forever no matter what and I assume so does clara #haven't exactly had a world of time with her yet so excuse my flippant answer for her #so fucking funny tho #where is that one post being like “doctor says I have to fuck that old man” with clara reblogged under bc GOD that really is just her #I don't know if literally anyone agrees with me bc I can never find good longform crossovers of rose and clara but I know I'm right #tbf I think all the companions would get along if given time but these two. mm. these two #rose tyler #clara oswald #doctor who

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stabbyfoxandrew · 2 months

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me when my old dog who has seizures has a seizure:

#lol I'm being silly funny but it's so scary guys. it was about an hour ago and I'm still panicking.#the last one he had was last February and it was awful. i literally thought he was dying because it was so bad.#this time it only lasted a few minutes thank god #but whew!!!!! i am so stressed out. TwT this old boy is my life.#i love you guys pls kiss your pets for me.#diaerie #Rascal

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mummer · 7 months

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"sara snow" as if that could have ever been a real name. get real. That is a drag name

#I'm kidding #if we're getting serious i think the reason Lol cregan is twinky is funny to me is mostly just because #in like. reddit threads and shit he's always fawned over as like this awesome gruff masculine man who Gets Shit Done and is Powerful and #Correct and Just and Fixes everything. Well what will reddit guys do when he is just a 21 year old bisexual beet counter Oh god we've just #done jon again sorry never mind #but yea lets subvert the masculine ideal ladiesssss ^_^#thats what im here for ^______^ i hope preston jacobs gets really mad about it *___*#cause like it's interesting that aegon and rhaenyra both fail their genders in certain ways #(failing your gender is good dont get me mixed up)#but aegon cant get it up and he's emasculated and disabled and Literally gets cucked ?#and we dont even have time to get into rhaenyra right now #so the idea of some kind of Northern Real Man TM storming in and being the 'corrective' to that is a bit weird #UNLESS he is gay and mean abotu it.#also not to imply that the realm is 'fixed' at the end of the dance systemic rot is systemic etc #^ idk what any of that meant it's late and if it doesnt make sense dont yell at me about it

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zephyrfuse · 23 days

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hiya! just wanted to say how i admire your confidence about your opinions on splatoon tumblr,, which can honestly be scary,,, but anyways i strongly agree with your opinions about frye!! i love her she deserves the world…. frye nation rise up let’s win a splatfest

FRYE ICON SPOTTED BASED AS FUCK!!! 🫵🫵🫵

Honestly that's real. I mean I was pretty vocal about my perspectives and opinions on twitter and weebs (as far as i'm concerned they were white) hated my ass for it so I eventually did leave cause that's a hellhole.

And for once this time, I don't blame a majority of the issue on the designers at nintendo who made Frye. It rlly is the shit bias of a large population of this planet.

Although I do blame nintendo's issue to first make less popular teams have a chance in splatfests and then immediately give frye the majority/child options: Family (seriously what % of children can celebrate solo or have the freedom to celebrate with friends) and saturday (the ease of appeal option, shiver of course got the workaholics with friday) I do wish they can give frye niche but insane options to actually utilize the new system better. Frye needs to absolutely win a splatfest but it's not gonna happen if they continue with the current trend with the newly balanced system.

If support for spoon 3 really is going to end 2 years from launch without frye winning more than 1 you know it's bad bad. It's already been bad bad and a lot of us seen the bias in the raw, but damn. And honestly, even if it sucks to look at and experience for a lot of people, once again it proves a point. I don't want to hear anymore "Stop making it about race" in splatoon after everyone seeing this. The only option is to move forward, you can't go back to ignorance anymore after this. The overall character design choices are going in good direction, it's just everyone hates to see it now that the dark character isn't shy and easily made into submissive fetish material. lol! I can only hope that whoever made these designs and approved of them, don't stop continuing to make those decisions that continue to diversify their cast. Again, splatoon 4 needs 4 fryes. I rest my case.

#Or splatoon 4 needs somethign even more unconventional #i was joking about old man cuttlefish and octavio idols and it's so funny to me i can't stop thinking about it #no you have to keep going #honestly though the race issue is so prevalent so it would be best to keep pushing at it #make the change happen and the self reflection impossible to ignore #in order to move forward #first you gotta actually SEE the issue. which i think splatoon 3 makes quite clear #asks #i'm not getting the switch 2.0 or whatever on god though so idk if i'll be around as much.

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adhduck · 20 days

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okay dungeon meshi anime girlies (gn) give it to me straight how do we feel about the new intro

#i enjoy the look of it a lot and the song is fun #however WHERE IS FALIN!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY IS SHE ABSENT FOR SO MUCH OF IT!!!!!!!#also i think it's funny that now that we're entering the Serious Fucked Up Shit we get an intro that's not nearly as dramatic as the old on #idk this is not me knocking it i'm just still chewing on it #and god knows i struggle with change lol #dungeon meshi

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monty-glasses-roxy · 28 days

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Thoughts~

Bonnie being angry and disappointed at Freddy when Cassie helps bring him back only for him to see the destruction and decay of his family and home that Freddy allowed to happen because of Gregory, and breaks up with him.

Bonnie later slowly starts falling in love with Proto Freddy (maybe a bit of it is Bonnie projecting but he's def falling) instead.

And Freddy can see it happening from where he is.

Gay drama~

(Long post. I went off on one lmao and can't use read mores on my phone, sorry mobile users)

Ohhh that's a fun one! Bonnie rebounding onto Protobear and after a while those feelings become real... he deserves it honestly. He deserves a happy ending after everything, and so does Protobear! Bet that's an emotional rollercoaster to get through though... That party doesn't sound fun... For them anyway. Very fun for us though! Sucks to be them!

You know what else is fun for this? Bonnie falling for whoever Freddy believed deactivated him. Freddy treating someone differently before the events of SB, and side eying them all the time, not trusting them at all because of what the must have done to Bonnie... It must have been them! They're the only one the makes sense! They're the one that made him disappear and is trying to act like everything's normal! They must be to blame! They took his Bonnie from him and won't tell him what they did or where he is! Whether he's right or not is irrelevant, if he believes it's true, he's going to want nothing to do with them! They need to stay away from Bonnie!

And now here he is. Watching Bonnie flirt with that person. Be it Monty, Roxy, Moon, Chica, whoever. Freddy finally saying out loud what he's felt he's known for a long time now, that this animatronic killed him, how could Bonnie possibly even still look at them, never mind fall in love with them after that?!

Bonnie's face falls flat. He turns to Freddy and stares him right in the eyes. "They didn't do it, Freddy." or even, "They did it to save me, Freddy. What did you do?"

Absolutely devastating. The gay drama is so good

On another note, this is making me think of Protobear and Roxy being fucking hilarious. "Hey, you wanna really freak him out?" one of them asks and they start fake dating in front of Freddy to piss him off. Like they're the most over the top, mushy couple with the most insufferable nicknames, trying so hard not to laugh their asses off, and the first one to crack loses. Everyone gets in on it. Whaaaaat?? Roxy and Protobear?? Oh they're sooooo in love so so so in love, they're not pretending, they would never pretend!!

Jskdndk they get Cassie in on it and she starts calling them mum and dad 2 and Freddy is pointedly trying to leave the room as quickly as possible, but as usual, the fucking doors aren't letting him out again. They're always on the blink now, it's absolutely never Roxy using her security clearance to play Musical Doors with him. Nope. Never. Look at their fake mushy romance boy, you can't escape.

Freddy has never been more confused and sickened in his life. He's always hated Roxy and Roxy's always hated him, this is the worst thing to have to watch ever. He's even more upset if Bonnie pretends to be their partner as well, and even more so if Roxy was who he assumed deactivated him. This is a nightmare scenario and he's being so brave about it.

Sat there trying so hard not to say a word. He's so fine. Not glaring at all. No no no, he's not staring listlessly at them, he's just trying to contact maintenance via the network, obviously. He's not resisting the urge to grimace and not wishing the floor would swallow him up right now. Absolutely not. He would never. He's so so so happy for them. Yup. So so happy. Could not be happier. Why won't these fucking doors open?!

You could apply the fake dating to Protobear and Bonnie specifically too. Bonnie's going through a rebound, and he knows it, so he stays away from Protobear for a while. He tries to take care of himself and the others are right there to help him out the best they can. When he's feeling better, he starts gradually spending more time with Protobear (who has had the situation of Bonnie and Freddy explained to him and is very understanding about it) and the two start slowly building a friendship. Slowly, so as to not rush Bonnie through anything. Protobear himself has walked away from several hangouts because he can tell that Bonnie is struggling, even if he won't admit it, they're handling this with the utmost care...

But then Bonnie, Roxy, Monty and Chica, the four that should never be trusted without supervision, get talking. Bonnie is laughing at these three clowns telling him all about how they're fucking with Freddy for fun, and let him in on some of their schemes. They're hilarious, and he would have thought so before everything happened too, even if he did think they were a bit mean at times. I mean, rallying a bunch of kids to gang up on Freddy in their Fazerblast game as a 'super secret mission' is a touch mean, right? Not anymore. He deserves it.

But then they get to thinking. Bonnie wants to try messing with him too. They bring him in on some of their dastardly plans, and come up with several new ones for him, and believe me, at this time, not a single one of them has the braincell, so you can imagine the bullshit they come up with lmao. He finds this weirdly cathartic. The ability to moderately inconvenience Freddy in funny ways is more fun than he thought it'd be. He was worried it would hurt, worried it would make him think about things too much, and while it does hurt to look at him sometimes... Well his heart is more with his friends than ever now. He feels no desire to be nice to him, or to go back to how things were anymore. He's okay now and this is what makes that real to him...

Then one day it hits him. His own plan to mess with Freddy. Completely his own, the three stooges had nothing to do with this one. It hit him when he was hanging out with Protobear and DJ. What if they were fake dating in front of Freddy? Bonnie and Protobear! Madly in love, with the most sickeningly sweet pet names and the worst pick up lines you've ever heard in your life! DJ thinks that would be pretty mean... But would get him so good, he's a surprisingly petty guy sometimes. Protobear agrees and is completely up for this, it sounds hilarious, but... is Bonnie sure he's ready for that? Is he sure he can handle that?

They think on it a bit and talk to the others about it, who think that's fucking genius but have the same concerns as Protobear. Sunny thinks it's a bit much (and he's probably right) but is very excited to play along with this. He loves playing pretend, he's where Cassie gets it from. When they decide they're gonna do it, they set a few boundaries just in case, make a safe word for if they feel they start going too far with it, and swear to eachother to call it off if it all starts getting too much... Or maybe too real.

Oh my god they have so much fucking fun with it. Protobear has never laughed so hard in his life. The others joining in, helping them pull this off, and building on the joke too make it even more fun! They're having a blast and Freddy is suffering greatly! Customer service mode can't save him now!

But after a while, things start to change. Some of the flirting becomes a little too heartfelt. The insistence that they're not actually a thing becomes less frequent. The act starts to spill over into their everyday lives. Suddenly, they're not so sure this is still a joke anymore. Suddenly, the overdramatic cuddles last until long after Freddy has left the room. Suddenly, they're starting to wonder what it be like to be together for real.

Realisation hits and oh god oh no oh fuck this was NOT the PLAN god DAMN IT

So much fun to be had here!

One more funny one: instead of just Roxy or Bonnie pretending to be with Protobear, what if it's everyone? Protobear has one giant polycule going on where everyone apparently adores him and he dotes on everyone cause he loves them all so so so much. Freddy is staring in disbelief at the 'romantic' cuddle pile Protobear is right in the centre of like this is the most normal thing in the world. It's a Plex wide competition to see who can be the most insufferable in a fake relationship and whoever cracks first loses. It's a team effort! A coordinated attack! And sometimes they actually do fluster Protobear and eachother they're all having fun!

I'd like to call this plan the Protocule :)

(Also, hi jellycreamjammedart! This is the first post I've made today so you may wanna check I've not reblogged with more additions later on. I know you get online kinda late in my timezone, or at least that's when I tend to see you around, so saying this is just in case!)

#comedically torturing freddy is my favourite thing to do it's so funny #he has this massive grip on what emotions he displays it's like he's in permanent customer service mode sometimes #watching him struggle so hard is Roxy's favourite pass time lmao #long post #pop rox answers #OH GOD I'LL REBLOG WITH THIS ADDITION LATER TO MAKE SURE IT'S SEEN #BUT BONNIE ACCIDENTALLY USING THE PET NAME HE HAD FOR FREDDY IN PROTOBEAR #AND PROTOBEAR DOESN'T KNOW SO BONNIE FLINCHES EVER SO SLIGHTLY #WHILE PROTOBEAR TURNS TO LOOK AT HIM A BUT FLUSTERED BY THE NAME AND SMILES SO SWEETLY #BUT SO UNLIKE FREDDY AND BONNIE IS MELTING ABD OH GOD OH NO WAIT A SEC IS HE FALLING OH GOD OH NO #wait is this bullying? i feel like roxy would bully him but hmm. I'll have to think on that...#maybe it's the doors specifically that's suddenly bugging me #hmmmm i dunno. anyway #i love waking up to things that give me ideas dnjdjd #now imagine proto is zags the old freddy and the confusion is rising djdnjd #to be clear freddy is unaware most of this is just them fucking around #he's suspicious of a few things but not everything #they're all very sneaky about their crimes and the vast majority are harmless and just inconveniencing #very few of them actually want to hurt him but will mess with him a little from a distance if it's funny #they would all mess with eachother before hand they just weren't sneaky about it so the whole 'getting caught' thing is all that's really-#-changed. not for roxy though. she's always fucked around with freddy specifically as sneaky as possible #was just less often before now...#I'm wondering what the scenario is here btw. how did we get to a presumably open plex that freddy is a part of?#i feel like certain animatronics wouldn't let him through the fucking door again #hmmm anyway

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