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termagax · 9 months

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19 + 40 for whoever u want but im partial to mako if u want

19 - on top of a scar/injury // 40 - while one is asleep

It was a rare thing, to be awake before Roadhog. The fish had a tendency to sleep heavily, but for all his talk about being lazy he was a light sleeper, nervous and quick to wake, an early riser at the best of times. Between the two of them, rat and fish often had trouble getting him into bed at all - he was always looking over his shoulder for something, sitting at the foot of the bed like a guard dog on night watch.

But out here, something was different. Hundreds of miles from any shore, nothing but open ocean visible in every direction, just the three of them. The walls that held Roadhog together seemed to melt away, letting... something show its face. Not quite Mako anymore, that time was long gone, but he was softer, sweeter, less guarded. He spoke more, smoked less, and slept easier.

It was late, or maybe early, and the fish had woken up with a killer headache, squirming out of bed as quietly as they could manage. They'd grabbed a bottle from the kitchen before heading up to the deck for some fresh air.

They gave it about an hour before heading back to try and get more sleep, a buzz mellowing out the worst of the pressure in their skull. They stumbled back to the bedroom, holding their lure out like a lantern so they could see in the pitch black ship.

They cussed under their breath, light revealing that Junkrat had rolled oved into their spot, curled up against Roadhog's side where he had comandeered the entire left half of the bed, leaving them to the cold and lonely bit on the right.

That simply wouldn't do.

Instead, they crawled on top of him, sprawling out over his stomach and chest. They took a second to admire the view - it wasn't one they got to see often.

On the scale of things, seeing Roadhog asleep was about ten times as intimate as seeing him naked. Seeing Roadhog without his mask, really fully without it, was about a million times more intimate than seeing him naked. Seeing him like he was now, snoring like a boar, mask left hanging on a bedpost, completely without pants (he always complained that it was too hot on the ship to sleep any other way) was a treasure rarer and more precious than any jewel they could ever steal.

So they savored it accordingly, fondly brushing a strand of hair out of his face where it had gotten caught on the corner of his mouth.

He was pretty, really. He had a nice, broad nose and strong brow and that thinning but well-maintained white hair framed his soft jaw and stubbly cheeks like an angel.

The right side of his face was curled and gnarled, an old burn giving the skin a splotchy redder hue. Ridges of the scar shone in the dull blue light like he was a painting, the texture blooming down his neck and the back of his right arm. Like the rest of him, his whole face was dotted in pock marks - moles or acne scars or otherwise, though his face was a shade lighter than the rest of his skin from years of being hidden from the harsh wasteland sun (save, of course, for his ears). Golden rings and studs accentuated his best features; the one on his bottom lip - just right of center - was their personal favourite. They ran a thumb over it idly, smiling at the way each breath curled his lips in a gross snore, a small trail of drool down his cheek.

Altogether, he was simply gorgeous, beautiful beyond words. If they told him that, he'd laugh like it was a joke and say something smug and self-assured, but they really did think he was the sun and stars and more. He took their breath away every time they saw him, falling in love all over again.

It was a shame to keep it all tucked behind the mask so much. They'd kill to get to see the creases cornering his eyes and framing his brow, little markers of age showing how far away he was now from the sweet, quiet farmhand he'd been when they'd first met. Bittersweet, they supposed.

They curled into his neck, getting as comfortable as they could piled on top of him, tail flickering as they got cozy. They pressed a kiss into his neck, savoring the texture of the scar under their lips, the lift of his chest with each heavy, rhythmic breath, the smell of sweat on his skin and the light florals of his shampoo in his hair. They let themselves drift off, the last thought floating in their mind a sense of smug contentment - Hog felt safer here than he did anywhere else in the world, and that was a fact.

#this is kinda rambly and aimless and the flow is off in a way i cant get right. might come back in the morning?#anyways. so. boyfriend huh.#🐟#🐉#<- theres only two dino emojis and im using the other ones. SAD. stego emoji when ?!

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danceinpurgat0ry · 3 years

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At the End of Everything, Hold Onto Anything

Ahoy hoy, readers!

So... This is another one of my personal favorites, even though I was relatively new back when I wrote it. Like “Snowed In,” this takes place in a modern AU. This was also slightly inspired by Night in the Woods. It’s a really good game, and I think you should check it out.

And like “Hold You, Never Let Go,” I was only able to post the first half since the second part contains smut, which I’m afraid of getting in trouble for if I were to post it here, since I’m not too familiar with this site’s content guidelines. There is a brief mention of it, though, but it’s very brief and will most likely be fine (I hope).

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled on for long enough. I hope you enjoy!

. ˚◞♡ 🎐 *ೃ༄

The breeze was cold, delivering the autumn winds as it traveled. Leaves fell from the looming trees, assuming a crisp orange hue. Autumn is said to represent adulthood and maturity. And, to be frank, whoever said that wasn't necessarily wrong.

You had just finished unpacking your things. You had just moved back to your hometown. Why? Well, you wanted to resume your aimless former life and catch up on those you left behind. So you dropped out of college, moved back, and... yeah.

In fact, there was one person in particular you yearned to see again. You just weren't sure if that person still lived here.

It's better to just not get your hopes up, though...

━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━

A few days have passed, and already you're starting to feel a little glum.

Things have changed here. Your friends, the town, the venues... everything. It's almost as though everything's moved on without you.

Your friends have grown and changed. They have jobs now. They almost seemed alien to you now. Or was it the other way around?

Nah, it had to be them.

Anyways, there was still this one place in town you liked that was still around. It was a local bar you used to sneak into from time to time, namely because they had a cocktail-type arcade machine called "Galaga," and you would always sneak in to play it.

Looking back, you're actually rather thankful that the bartender pretended not to see you when you did.

And admittedly, you actually did have a drink or two a few years before you were of legal age to drink. Thankfully, you dodged a huge bullet when your mother took you here for your "first drink" since the bartender covered for you.

Good times...

But even the bar itself had changed. The bar had been renovated to fit in with more modern times (it was actually more like a club than a bar now). Nevertheless, you were relieved that it was at least still there.

You could hear the music from across the street. Sighing, you decided to enter. Whether it was for nostalgic reasons or simply because of an obscure sense of curiosity, you'd never know.

━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━

You took a sip of your drink as you stared at the others abhorrently, jealous that those freaks were able to find their "special someone" before you (even if it was just some weird hookup). It disgusted you. But perhaps it was all just in your head. Nonetheless, you were still pretty pissed.

Of course, this burning flame of jealousy died down a bit when notice a familiar face sitting next to you—Hinoka. Hinoka was a good friend of yours. She was a serious girl who didn't take shit from anyone. And admittedly, you still thought it was the funniest thing ever when she knocked the shit out of this one jackass who attempted to flirt with her, only to offend her in the process.

Anyway, you were a bit surprised to find that Hinoka of all people decided to come to a place like this. "H-Hinoka?!" you practically yelped. "Dude, I haven't seen you in forever!"

"Hm? Oh, hey (Y/N)," she responded, sipping out of her flask. "What're you doing here? Weren't you going to college out-of-state?"

"Uh, yeah, funny story," you began. "I kinda, sorta dropped out."

"Oh, really? How come?"

"Do you promise not to laugh?"

"Of course. We've been friends for gods-know-how-long. You can tell me anything."

"Okay..." You inhaled deeply, then turned back to her. "I wanted to go back to being an aimless nobody and return to my friends and family."

It went silent for a moment before Hinoka let out a soft sigh. "Is that it?"

"Pretty much..." Technically, it wasn't. Of course, you weren't willing to admit that.

"I'm not going to judge you or think less of you for it," Hinoka began. "But I believe you could've done better. Honestly."

"Yeah, I know..."

Those were words you didn't want to hear at all, but you knew that Hinoka was just being a good friend. You couldn't be mad at her for that.

You took a sip, still feeling a bit glum. You're odds of actually getting to see a certain somebody were already low, but you feared that you might not even get to see them. Possibly ever again.

This certain somebody wasn't just "anybody." This somebody—a girl, to be exact—was someone you had your eyes on. In fact, you could've even said that you were infatuated with them. But being the dick you were back then, you left without even so much as a goodbye. Or at least, you thought you were a dick for it.

But that wasn't until you heard a soft, smooth voice that your mood suddenly skyrocketed. When you turned around, you saw her—a purple-haired woman sitting right next to you. You nearly spit out your drink (like a fucking idiot). It was her!

"C-C-Camilla?!" you squeaked.

She turned to you, a large smile spreading across her face. "(Y/N)? Oh, what a wonderful surprise~!" she said as she wrapped her arms around you, practically squeezing the life out of you. When she did so, her large breasts squished into your face. It was pleasant, but a bit cliché. You've seen something like this in a few anime and manga, and honestly, you now realize that it really isn't like they make it seem.

"I missed you so much," she cooed. You shifted your head so that you could speak. "Ah... I missed you, too."

Camilla eventually let go, then reached out to hold your hands. "Why don't we go somewhere else? We have quite a bit to catch up on, you know." As she spoke, you could tell that she was a bit disgusted by the mere presence of Hinoka. But that was to be expected. The two didn't neccessarily get along well. Hinoka seemed to be glaring at the purple-haired woman with the same amount of disgust.

"Y-Yeah, okay," was all you could utter. Camilla flashed you a warm smile, gently pulling you along and leading you outside.

━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━

"Where have you been all this time? I missed you so much."

The two of you were now at your house. It was your idea, but it was a bit lackluster (in your opinion), and you hoped that Camilla wasn't secretly judging you for it. Well, it wasn't like you could've just waltzed into town and bought a fucking mansion or some shit.

"Ah... I went off to college. You know that."

"Oh, that's right. And how did that turn out for you?"

Again with that question...

"I...dropped out." You practically bit your tongue as you confessed that to her.

"Oh? How come?"

"Because..." You breathed in a sharp inhale. "I wanted to come back. Get all that pressure off of my shoulders. And..."

Gods, at a time like this, you wished you were dead.

"The truth is, I...wanted to be with you. I've always had my eyes on you, Camilla. I've dreamt of you for countless nights, wishing that I could just be in your arms and cuddle the shit out of you. That by some stupid luck I'd one day be yours. College was hard, Camilla, not because of the pressure, but because I missed you so fucking much."

At this point, the words just flowed out of you. Camilla seemed to be hooked on every word you managed to spew out.

"You're the only woman for me. I was a mess back there because you're just so perfect. I could never focus in my courses because I could never get you out of my head. Because I love you, Camilla, so very fucking much."

After confessing your feelings for her, you didn't think you could even bring yourself to look at her directly due to sheer embarrasment. You winced, expecting her to laugh at your feelings. To your surprise though, Camilla just stood up and approached you, bringing her fingers to your chin to guide your gaze to her face, before planting her lips onto yours. It felt...great.

To be honest, this was the best kiss you've ever had. You can't really say it was your first, though, since you've had a few partners back when you were going to college up state. Ever since you left, you had a huge hole inside that you desperately tried to fill, although things didn't really work out for you. You fought with one of them, the second cheated on you with some douchebag, and the rest were just hookups or one night stands. There was no woman out there that was like Camilla. Yeah, it was pretty hella depressing, but you knew that after this, that hole would finally be filled.

After what seemed like an eternity, your lips parted. The sensation still lingered within you, though, whether it was because of happiness, your libido, or maybe both. One thing's for certain, though: Camilla tasted really fucking good.

"Damn," you spoke. "That...was awesome."

"You liked it?" Camilla giggled. "I'm glad. I've been waiting so very long to do that."

"Have you, now? Well, I'm happy that I got my feelings through to you. Uh...assuming that you reciprocate, that is."

Camilla gave you a kiss on the forehead. "Of course. And you know...the others missed you just as much. Especially sweet little Corrin, the poor thing was so sad to see you go."

Corrin was a good friend of yours as well. The two of you would hang out all the time, to the point to where you remember pretty much everything about them. Not that you thought they were repulsive, of course. You simply enjoyed their company. The two of you would mostly play video games, but you did other things as well, such as eat lunch together or watch movies.

You missed those times... maybe you should go visit them.

"I'm glad to hear that," you responded. "Now then, there was actually something I've been wanting to do with you."

"Oh?" Camilla let out a confused yet intrigued sound. "Whatever might that be, sweetie?"

━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━

"Bon appétit!"

You brought a few dishes to the table, decked out in red tablecloth and lit candles. Seeing as it was Valentine's Day, you thought that it would be nice to have a fancy(ish?) dinner with the woman who was now your girlfriend. This town didn't offer much in the way of good eats, so you took it upon yourself to cook them up in the comfort of your own home. You had gotten pretty good at cooking after you moved off to go to college, so you didn't have much to worry about in that department.

You brought a bottle of red wine and poured it into your glasses. It wasn't the most "high-class" wine in the world, but it certainly wasn't cheap, either. Some smooth jazz was playing in the background, too. You took a seat and said, "You know, you look really gorgeous. I mean...you always have, but..."

Camilla chuckled, taking a sip of her wine. "Awh, you've always been so cute when you trip over your words. I can't help but fawn over it."

"Damn... And here I thought I was looking like a complete fucking buffoon."

"Oh, I could never think that way of you. You went through all this trouble just to make me feel special, after all."

Ah... She always knew the right things to say. What a goddess.

"So," you began, sipping your wine and attempting to be seductive about it (although you hoped that you didn't look like an idiot doing so). "What have you been up to all this time? Now's a great time to catch up on everything."

"Ah, well, I just recently got a job downtown. I get paid a pretty good amount, so I've been able to take good care of by beautiful siblings easier. Well... Corrin and Elise, anyway."

"They still live with you?" you asked, stifling a bit of laughter. You didn't mean to be disrespectful; it was just a bit laughable to you.

"Oh, of course! Corrin is still pursuing their academic career, and Elise is still a bit too young to move out on her own. So, naturally, it's my job as their big sister to take care of them. We're still keeping in touch with Xander and Leo, though they're off pursuing their own affairs elsewhere."

"That...makes sense."

Camilla was almost like a mother to her siblings... It made you feel a bit jealous. Yeah, you had parents, but they hardly ever paid attention to you since they were always busy working. Because of this, any kind of relationship with them was pretty much nonexistent. It didn't really help that you didn't have any siblings, either.

"Oh? What's wrong, sweetheart?"

Camilla seemed to have sensed the uneasiness within you, much to your surprise. "O-Oh, uh, nothing. I was just thinking, that's all."

"About your parents?"

Fuck.

Camilla had known about your relationship (or, lack of, per se) for a while now, ever since you vented to her about it one day. To be honest, you never expected her to remember that.

You nodded, slowly, letting her know that she was right on the mark, as painful as it was.

"(Y/N), sweetie, you shouldn't worry so much about them. Even if they weren't close to you nor cared for you, you still have me! I care about you so, so much, and I always have. Even when you left, I continued to care deeply for you and your wellbeing."

"But aren't you upset that I just...left? Without even saying goodbye? Aren't you upset by how selfish I was back then?"

"Of course not, (Y/N). I could never be upset with you. You had your reasons. And besides, I knew you'd come home. That's why I waited. I've waited years for you to finally return. And now...here we are. Sitting at your table in your home."

...

You didn't know what to say. Camilla seemed to stand by you no matter what, even though you practically abandoned her for something better, and she was fully aware of that fact. Her little speech brought tears to your eyes. Gods, you loved her so much.

"Thank you..." you said with a sniffle.

"Aww, don't cry, darling. It'll be okay now. You're home." Camilla got up and came over to where you were sitting, turning you around and embracing you.

"T-That's right," you sniffled. "And I'm not leaving again. By your side is where I want to be, even if it's in a hellhole of a town like this. I'm not leaving you ever again."

Camilla smiled against your forehead, tears pricking the corners of her eyes. "That's so sweet, (Y/N). I'll always...always be by your side, too, no matter what."

"I'm...happy," was all you could utter.

"Hey," Camilla said, releasing you. "How about we have a little "fun?" You know, since it's Valentine's Day? And a reunion? It'll be much more romantic that way."

To be frank, you've had wet dreams about Camilla even while you were away, so the thought of actually having sex wasn't a bad idea.

"Okay," you replied. "Let's do it." You weren't sure if it was because you were practically half-wine now, but you were feeling pretty adventurous.

Smiling, Camilla reached for your hand and led you to your bedroom.

#fire emblem #fire emblem fates #modern au #swearing #suggestive themes #college dropout #reunions #reunited #camilla #gender neutral reader #camilla x reader #cross posted on ao3

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miniatureclover · 4 years

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Faraway Wanderers Reading Blog: Chapters 01-05

First post of my attempt at the May 2020 Asian Readathon with Faraway Wanderers!

Just some highlights here, the rest is on my wordpress blog because my ramblings got long.

Chapter 1: Tian Chuang

The first sentences use a common motif in Chinese literature and art to set the scene: our story begins at the end of winter, bridging into spring – the time when plum blossoms are seen blooming in the snow. Plum blossoms have come to symbolize resilience and perseverance as one of three plants that still flourish in the dead of winter.

Despite the emperor’s reluctance to let the last of his old friends go, he allows Zhou Zishu to accept the last nail that will seal his fate. It really is a gory self-inflicted punishment, I mean, it’s best not to think too hard on the fact that the main character is running around with seven nails punctured into his chest. Yeah. Let’s just try to ignore that going forward (also, don’t ask how, suspension of disbelief activated haha).

When I read this chapter a few months ago, I didn’t pay the setting much mind, but looking back on it those plum blossoms really set the scene – marking both a beginning and an end, enduring hardship and adversity to blossom.

Chapter 2: Chance Encounter

A short explanation is in order. Most wuxia stories are more grounded in realism and centered around martial arts, but the whole internal force, meridians, and acupuncture points are also an integral part of many wuxia stories. The internal force distinguishes the average fighter from a skilled martial artist – by disrupting that flow of internal energy, a person can be paralyzed or crippled. That’s more or less how the wuxia genre has been since it was popularized by Jin Yong’s works.

After some exposition on how Zhou Zishu walked out of there alive when most figuratively drop dead on the spot, we are brought along his new journey outside the spying life to…creep around people’s properties, drink wine, and bask in his newfound freedom. He also does a really bad impression of a beggar, despite the looks, because he’s not actually looking for handouts therefore puzzling all the people on the street except for a certain man who correctly guesses that Zhou Zishu is merely sunbathing.

An introspective piece reveals a bit more about our MC: ambitious and arrogant in his youth, but at the end of all his efforts there really isn’t much to show for it. He pretty much gave up his youth in service to his country, and “…anything he ever owned had to become compensation for the acts he committed”. The overarching theme according to reviews is atonement for past deeds, and two chapters into the story there have already been two references to this sort of karmic retribution (the emperor being all alone after ascending to the throne being the other).

Chapter 3: Abandoned Shrine

In which we find out that Zhou Zishu is a bit of a child inside. More accurately, he’s a dying man with no fucks left to give, who wants to live out his final days enjoying life as he never had a chance to before. He’s a bit aimless, though, and flippant about death, even his own, which is only appropriate given his former occupation. Despite his childish way of provoking the fisherman for his entertainment and enjoying his newfound ability to curse whenever he wants to, he is naturally observant, picking up on the fact that the fisherman is likely hiding some shady business, otherwise he wouldn’t be so rude and scare off customers.

As is typical of these abandoned shrine sideplots, the three people are running from their pursuers – who are after the kid in the group, a kid who makes the impulsive decision to leap into battle like a suicidal lemming. Ah, youth.

Zhou Zishu thinks it a coincidence that he keeps running into the same people today, as this marks the third time he’s seeing the girl in purple who threatened to poison a guy who for all she knew was just a random beggar. Personally, I’d been kind of suspicious at this point but that’s just me.

Chapter 4: The Chivalrous

We really need to hit the names before this gets more confusing, but the girl in purple. Is she following an archetype so far? Yes, but I do love her flippant attitude and she can hold her own in a fight. Always stan kickass self-confident girls. She is definitely a prime example of ‘cool but maybe get far away before you get murdered on a whim’ kind of character though.

Anyways, Zhou Zishu was not looking for the start of an adventure, nor a babysitting gig, but it has come calling him in the form of a dying man’s plea to deliver the kid he’s escorting. And this is where it gets interesting. The fisherman tries to guilt trip him by pulling the ‘it’s for your descendants and reincarnation’ card.

I appreciate when characters have a belief system that matches the time period. It’s easy to force characters to adopt modern mindsets, but realistically most people raised and living in X culture for their whole life would share a similar set of values and beliefs. Even if the writer or reader doesn’t believe in reincarnation, the characters definitely would.

So, Zhou Zishu accepts the fisherman’s request and the man dies, at peace (and cursing him if he fails in his task lol). But then the girl in purple asks for his name and this awesome spymaster, master of disguise…gives her the name Zhou. Zhou Xu. Zhou Xu??? Hello, that’s 1) your real last name and 2) ‘xu’ is kinda similar to ‘shu’ (I think – I’m awful at Mandarin pronunciations so I could be misinterpreting). Anyway, what was he thinking?? I know that his real name was kept a secret all these years, but still. The girl already said her master knew he was suspicious.

Chapter 5: The Evils

Just a friendly reminder that Zhou Zishu is basically wandering around the world with a skintight mask on and nails embedded in his chest which cause him excruciating pain at night. Last chapter, we were also reminded that he basically has no internal energy left, which surprised Gu Xiang when he grabbed her wrist. In this chapter, we learn that he’s fading fast due to the nails acting up.

Also, slight spoiler: her master is the main love interest of the story, so the bit about him visiting an old lover to have a one night fling is actually kind of refreshing. A lot of stories make its main characters inexperienced in terms of romance and/or sex before getting together in the story, which is fine, except it’s so popular that it kind of sends an ick message. So, kudos.

In conclusion:

Zhou Zishu is not my favorite protagonist ever, but he doesn’t annoy me, and I like the theme of redemption for past deeds and his drive to leave his old life behind and atone for those sins to the point of severe personal harm. It’ll be interesting to see how this unfolds. And hopefully the next 5 chapters will have the main love interest in them lol.

#faraway wanderers #tianyake #reading blog

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