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aspiringhorrorauthor · 3 years

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hello, PLEASE tell me your aroace analysis of the black parade album, i would like to see it 👀👀

What up guys, I just passed a vet med practice exam and I’m aroace and emo as fuck so let’s do this

First off, I will preface that I know that this wasn’t quite MCR’s idea of the album, but art is interpretive and I will at every possible opportunity rub my grubby little aroace hands all over that shit. This is also gonna get long so here’s a read more

Okay so first off, let me just exclude the following songs from this interpretation simply because they are exactly as they appear: The End, Dead!, Welcome to the Black Parade, Sleep, Teenagers and Blood. I can’t find anything to really psychoanalyse in this regarding the aroace experience so much as they are about the emo experience. And also, as a heads up, I feel this may teter more into aromantic interpretation than asexual simply because that’s how I roll, baby.

Let’s start with ‘This Is How I Disappear’, there’s something in here that strikes me as ‘coming to terms with being aroace Very Badly’, that first onset of panic when you realise ‘oh crap, I’m not allo’. I didn’t have the ‘hell yeah no sexual/romantic attraction oh wait there’s a word for that?’ realisation often stated online, I was in a lot of denial, especially when I first started listening to this album.

The lines “And without you is how I disappear/and live my life alone forever now” really strikes this message to me. The gnawing sense of loneliness and isolation when you first realise that you’re not like everyone else, that ‘living a life alone’ is both what you want from life and dread, as an amatonormative society drills into every one of us that love and relationships is what makes us important in life, and without it we will simply disappear. The line hits home the pain of questioning, the horror of when you realise this is who you likely are before you can truly accept it. It’s not a pretty part of being aroace, it wasn’t for me, but it is an important one, and the lines always hit home to me in this era.

Added on to this is a sense of how we’re seen in media. Consider the line “Who walks among the famous living dead”. There’s a real push in amatonormativity that love and romance is what makes us human, what makes us alive, and without it, we’re not human. Therefore, by extension, the aromantic narrator is ‘not alive’ by these standards, nor is their community they’ve yet to find. This is also doubled down by the monster symbolism throughout the song; especially when I was younger, aromantic (and asexual) coded characters in media were always the bad guys, the monsters who could only be stopped by the unstoppable power of love; the narrator is lamenting how this part of themselves seems monstrous, evil to society, when really that isn’t true, and this evolves over the course of the album.

Let’s move on to The Sharpest Lives. This is less aroace specific, but it certainly seems like a downward spiral of the narrator, which carries on from the self-loathing of Disappear. There’s really only 1 line I want to talk about here: “Juliet loves the beat and the lust it commands/Drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands, Romeo”. This is an obvious allusion to Romeo and Juliet, but it turns on its head the usual story of Romeo and Juliet being in love; Juliet doesn’t love Romeo, she just loves the beat, and Romeo is taking it too far. This speaks to another experience, not exclusive to aromantics, but definitely strongly felt in it, when someone misinterprets the relationship or your feelings and tries to push for romance when all you wanted was a good time. I had an awful experience of this myself, so I’m claiming this one for the aroaces.

(As an aside, I got into MCR around the same time we did Romeo and Juliet at school, so imagine little me, not knowing she’s aroace and sick to death of talking about romance at school and hearing this line. To say I lost my shit was an understatement. I ADORE that line.)

Next up is ‘I Don’t Love You’. I’ve talked about this one before on my blog, but this is the song that really gives it away to me that this album is very strongly catered towards aroaces. “But it’s a break up song!” No, it’s not, if you look at it from the correct angle. Also I’ve gone to further lengths with other break up songs so try me bitches (See: Love Drunk by Boys Like Girls being about disregarding amatonormativity rather than breaking up with someone. It’s so damn obvious too)

Here’s the short of it: I Don’t Love You is actually about falling out with a friend because you had entirely different ideas as to what it was you wanted from your relationship. The aro narrator wants it to remain friends; they’re happy with where they are, and doesn’t want it to change. The other ‘person’ in the song is alloromantic, and wants it to become a romantic relationship. The most important line for this is the most important line in the song: “When you go, would you even turn to say, I don’t love you like I did yesterday”. Let’s focus on the word choice here: ‘Like I did yesterday’. When allos talk about love, they talk about the amount; if this was about falling out of love, it would reflect that, that the other person in the song loves them less, not differently. The narrator is lamenting that their friend no longer loves them as a friend; the friend’s view of love has changed, they love them romantically, and less as a friend as a result, and the narrator’s insistence on remaining friends has highlighted this.

What’s more, I don’t think this is the first time the narrator has gone through this. Admittedly, I misheard one of the lines for years and I insist the line is “Another time was just another blow” but I’m not American so we don’t have dollars, and this is about me and my interpretation of the album so we’re in this ride together and I’m driving so lets do this. The song is very pained, you can hear it in Gerard’s voice, and there’s so little about the pain of losing a friend, especially when they wanted romance from you, that this song really speaks to.

What really gets me though is how the narrator is clearly still struggling with being aroace too. Let’s consider the line “Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading”. The narrator clearly isn’t at ease with their identity yet; maybe they wish they could keep their friend, but their placing their boundaries down, even though its costing a friend. These boundaries are important, and its important for our friends to respect them too. And listening to, and singing along to, this song really makes me proud for the narrator in a sort of self-love kind of way when you couldn’t love yourself.

Final matter on this song: the narrator still thinks of them as a friend, which is tearing the narrator apart. Yes, the line “Don’t ever think I’ll make you try to stay” might make you think differently, but I believe that’s the narrator setting their boundaries; they’re not going to become an item just to please their friend and make them stay. Instead lets look at “Better get out while you can”. The narrator sees that their different views on the relationship is incompatible, and suggests they ‘fall out’ before their friend gets too caught up, and the rejection pains them both even more.

Now for House of Wolves. Not a long to say on this one, but I see it as being about media and ace exclusionists. See, the song flips between another character seeing the narrator as an angel and as a sinner simultaneously; just as how the media depicts asexual/aromatic/aroace people as non-human, that our sexuality (or lack thereof) makes us incomplete (the sinner aspect), while exclusionists say that we must be loved by the same media (and by religion too) for being aspec (the angel aspect). The song flip flops between them very rapidly, a state of confusion that felt very poignant for me when I was questioning in the height of the ace discourse.

Okay Mama is just here not for interpretation but because my English teacher once told us to analyse songs for her to mark as revision for exams and she loves long songs and kept making us analyse them so I analysed Mama and handed that in and got an A*. So Mama said AroAce rights that day.

Disenchanted is another strange one, filled with lines that mean more to aroace interpretation than the song itself. It spoke to me most when I was on my year out, having failed to get into uni despite good grades, still struggling with coming to terms with being aromantic, and dealing with severe anxiety. All in all, it was a year of disenchantment. It’s a good song. So what about an aroace interpretation?

The main thing about the song seems to be pretending to be someone you’re not. And really, when talking with family who expect you to be allo, how can you be anything but? I was told in this time that ‘Girls only go to university to find a husband’, which is many levels of wrong, but that thought always sticks in my head with this song. Moreover, I always think of break up songs with the line “You’re just a sad song, with nothing to say”, because they ARE just sad songs with nothing to say; and yet we’re expected to love them, because it’s a universal experience. There’s never been nothing to them.

But really, the line “I spent my high school career spit on and shoved to agree, so I can watch all my heroes sell a car on TV” is what really spoke to me. You spend school years being told that these people are sexy, you’ll want romance one day, and you have to agree or we’ll bully you mercilessly for it. The kids at school knew who was aroace before they knew what aroace meant. And we grow up watching heroes we relate to on TV, the fantastic loners who don’t need a significant other, only for fandom and the shows themselves to pair them up, make them “sell cars on tv” and sell out what made them special to us. And it hurts. And this song reflects that so well. In this song, the narrator is reflecting back on the years lost by hating themselves, slowly coming to terms with being aroace.

And finally, Famous Last Words. This is the real tipping point where the narrator feels comfortable with themselves, and finally confronts the friend from ‘I Don’t Love You’. The song is sung by one person, yes, but it feels like a dialogue between the friend, who still wants to hold a romantic relationship with the narrator, and the narrator who’s finally had enough. The introduction is from the friend, their thoughts on the narrator and how they know that they’re not going to win, but maybe they can make them feel bad for it “But where’s your heart?”, the friend is accusing the narrator of being heartless for being aromantic. But here’s the thing:

The narrator’s accepted who they are. “Well is it hard understanding? I’m incomplete.” The narrator accepts that they’re aroace, that to the friend, they are different, they don’t experience romance. The pain that they felt in the first few songs, of being the living dead and disappearing, makes them feel incomplete still, but they’re finally secure with being aroace enough to declare that, while they aren’t fully there yet, “I am not afraid to walk this world alone.” The narrator knows who they are, and they’re no longer afraid of it. Even when the friend tries to backpedal “Honey if you stay I’ll be forgiving” the narrator knows that the friend isn’t worth the pain anymore “Nothing you can say can stop me going home.”

That’s also why the lines about ‘love’ in this song are so important too. “A love that’s so demanding I can’t speak” “A love that’s so demanding, I get weak”. The narrator is explaining that, for them, romance is demanding; it’s not easy, and it’s not worth it for them, it’ll tire them out. The first quote can also speak of their friendship now; it’s so demanding, the narrator feels that if they stay, they may not be able to speak up for themselves any more. They have to friend break up, for both of their wellbeings.

And finally, the last verses “Awake and unafraid, asleep or dead” is the final attempt at kicking the narrator, harking back to “the famous living dead”. But the narrator refutes it by insisting that they’re not afraid to be alone anymore. And the song ends with the narrator winning, leaving the friend for good, for a better life.

And that’s the aroace interpretation of Black Parade.

And it’s 2200 words long fuck

#my chemical romance #the black parade #aroace #aromantic #asexual #You should've asked me why I can headcannon every video game character as aroace instead its shorter #Well all except the sims 2

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writingfortoomanyfandoms · 4 years

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Neighbourhood Barbecues

Pairing: Calum Hood x Reader

Summary: Its been a rough couple of months for him so he returns home at the plea of his mother and gets reunited with a distant friend from school

Requested: It won the vote so I guess it kinda was

Warnings: Swearing, it’s also excessively long so I figured that deserves a warning as well

A/N: I’m actually really happy with this one, I loved writing it and that’s probably why it’s as long as it is. I hope you guys like it as much as I do! This is another fic it would be cool to do spin-off blurbs for so if you have any spin-off requests then just let me know! Please remember to let me know what you think, if you liked it then please reblog or comment or send me an ask telling me so, I love hearing from you guys, getting those messages honestly make my day :)

Calum regretted coming.

If it wasn’t for the facts that he’d promised his friend he’d make an appearance and that he’d already rung the doorbell and that his arm was aching from the beer he had brought, he would have scarpered.

He figured he’d suffer through awkward conversations with old acquaintances for a bit and try to ignore the fact that most of them were just showing an interest in him because of his fame and then hang out by the food table and make use of the fact the food was free and so was the alcohol being provided.

And then he’d return home and find a new Netflix series to start binging and there he’d try and ignore his mother’s disappointed eyes on him.

God, she would be disappointed in him.

She had been so excited when Calum had said he was going to a barbecue today. He had been trapped inside the house almost the whole time he had been home so her excitement at his plans was understandable. He knew how worried his mother had been about him recently. He didn’t want her to hurt anymore than she already was.

He supposed he could stretch the awkward socialising from an hour and a half to two hours, just to keep his mum happy.

“Hey! Caleb said you’d be coming!” The smile on the woman’s face was wide and Calum desperately tried to place her, knowing that she must have been someone he went to high school with.

“Yeah, hi - he said it’d be fine if I came along?” He offered awkwardly.

“Yeah, course it is, Calum!” Yeah, he should definitely know who she was judging by her familiar tone of voice. “It’s good to see you again!”

“Who is it, bro?” Another voice called from the hallway and the woman who Calum assumed to be the hostess of the barbecue turned around to grin at the other woman who was walking down the hallway, a bottle of beer in her hand.

“Calum - you remember Calum right?”

“How could I forget Calum! He once kicked a football at my head,” this woman he recognised.

She looked different from the last time he saw her - though that was understandable considering that they had last seen each other in high school. She wad a little taller than before, held herself with more sureness but the smile on her face was the same, as were her eyes.

Yeah, perhaps she was difference appearance-wise but her mannerisms remained the same.

“Are you ever going to let that go?”

“Not until I get pay back and kick you in the head with a football,” Y/N assured him, placing her arm around the hostess’ shoulders. “I came to tell you that Rowen decided he’s a real man and so he’s in charge of the barbecue. I figured you should know before... you know, the house burnt down or something.”

“Fucking hell, again?” The other woman groaned, turning back to Calum. “Make yourself at home, Cal - it’s nice to see you again.” Y/N’s eyes fell onto Calum as her friend walked away, a half smile tugged at her lips.

“Admittedly it’s probably my fault - I’m on Rowen duty today but sometimes it’s just so funny to watch him when he’s pissed.” Calum was surprised by the laugh that her words caused in his chest.

“He still can’t handle his alcohol?” Calum asked in disbelief.

He remembered Rowen from high school - he was the life and soul of most of the parties held once their year group had discovered alcohol. Rowen was famous in school for being a complete lightweight and not giving a shit about it, and it was comforting to know that nothing had changed.

“I think he’s actually worse than before,” Y/N confided, turning to walk back through the house. She paused when she realised Calum wasn’t following and looked over her shoulder at him, eyebrows raised. “You coming? I mean, I know we kinda annoyed you in high school but I promise we’re not quite as insufferable anymore.”

“You didn’t annoy me in high school,” Calum protested, following Y/N into the house.

“Dude, we pissed off everyone. We were all so fu-hecking annoying but we’re slightly less so now.” Y/N scoffed.

“’Hecking’?” Calum quoted, his eyebrows raising.

“Oh right - yeah, these barbecues are a no-swearing zone. Didn’t Caleb warn you?” Calum shook his head and Y/N let out a breath. “You have been gone a while, Hood - a lot’s changed since you got too good for us small towners.”

“That’s not what happened,” Calum immediately said and Y/N let out a loud laugh that Calum wanted to join in with.

“I’m joking, Cal.”

“So... you say a lots happened - fill me in,” Calum insisted as they moved out into the garden of the woman’s house, filled with the familiar smell of barbecue food.

Y/N led Calum over to the table of drinks for him to deposit his beers down on.

“Well... that’s the reason over there that we’re a no-swearing zone,” Y/N nodded over to the other side of the garden.

A man he vaguely recognised was over there holding a toddler in his arms as he chatted with some friends - Caleb included.

“One of your lot has a kid?” Calum asked and Y/N nodded in confirmation, tipping her beer bottle up and finishing it off, throwing it into the trug being used as a bin and getting herself another one, seeing Calum’s look she scoffed.

“It’s my second, Cal, don’t worry,” she picked up a bottle opener and Calum picked up his own bottle, holding it out for her to take the top off of. “But, yeah, Alistair had a kid - she’s two years old and the sweetest child in the world. Her mum, however, is a complete bitch who we don’t talk about,” Y/N filled in and Calum nodded.

“Okay so... what else is new, then?” Y/N looked at him with cocked eyebrows. “Come on, I don’t care about you judging me for being so out of touch with the people I went to high school with but I don’t want all of them to think I’m a complete arsehole.”

Y/N watched him for a minute with a level gaze before nodding.

“Alright - well, I can’t imagine this coming up in conversation but Rowen is asexual and aromantic, a new thing. He cried when he told us and his parents weren’t best pleased either so it’s still a bit of a touchy subject anyway-”

“Why did his parents care?”

“Oh, none of us know. Rowen doesn’t either but hey ho, his parents always were dicks.”

“I thought it was a no swearing zone,” Calum deadpanned and Y/N raised her middle finger at him.

“Kind of an important one, actually but, you know...” Y/N gestured at the woman who was hosting the barbecue who was stood at the barbecue with the rather drunk person who Calum assumed to be Rowen.

“Yeah - I can’t remember her name, though,” he admitted a little sheepishly.

“Good - that’ll serve you well. They came out as non-binary a few years ago and while they’d understand you getting it wrong because you haven’t seen them since, try and make an effort?” Y/N suggested and Calum nodded, guilt flooding him from the assumption he had made. “Hey, don’t worry, Cal, you’re not the first one and you will make an effort so Charlie - that’s what their name is now - will be understanding.”

“Y/N!” The woman looked away from Calum and towards Alistair who was calling her.

“Yeah?”

“Can you watch her for a moment?” He requested, approaching her and Calum. Caleb was behind him, clearly only now noticing that Calum had arrived and he raised his hand in hello before walking towards Charlie and Rowen, clapping his hand on Rowen’s shoulder and Calum could hear him let out a loud laugh.

“Of course I can!” Y/N beamed, handing Calum her beer, who took it so that Y/N could take the young girl from her father. “Heya, sweetheart, you look exhausted,” Y/N chuckled. The young girl nodded tiredly against Y/N’s body.

“Who’s that?” She mumbled, her eyes only half open and fixed on Calum.

“That’s Calum - he’s a friend from school and he’s back in town for a little while.”

“C-Ca-Cal.” The girl struggled to say his name and Calum felt a smile come to his lips.

“Just Cal is fine, buddy - what’s your name?” He crouched down a little to be more on eye-level with the small girl.

“Emma,” she mumbled.

“It’s nice to meet you, Emma.”

“You know, Em, Cal’s really talented,” Y/N stated and Calum had to restrain himself from letting out a sigh, having reserved a slight hope at the back of his mind that Y/N wasn’t going to bring up the band and hark on his ‘talents’. He was having a nicer time than he had expected talking with his old distant school friend. He didn’t want it to be ruined now.

“Why?”

“Cal used to play football for the school team.”

“With Uncle Caleb?” Emma asked, her head perking up in interest.

“Yeah, that’s how we all met Cal, through Caleb.” Y/N confirmed.

“And I was in some of your classes.”

“Yeah but you only started talking to us because you made friends with Caleb on the team,” Y/N pointed out and Calum gave a conceding nod of his head.

“Where?”

“What was that, sweetheart?” Y/N asked, her attention returning to Emma, who was reaching a little for Calum. He placed their drinks down and took Emma from Y/N’s arms.

“Where?” She insisted.

“Where has he been?” Y/N offered and Emma nodded, curling up closer to Calum, her eyes drooping tiredly.

“I’m in a band, Emma.”

“A band?”

“Yeah - we go touring so I left Australia a while ago which is why I’m... never here.”

“But he’ll be coming to our barbecues, right Cal?” Y/N said, grinning at the bassist.

“What?”

“This is a weekly thing, Cal,” Y/N laughed. “Come on, Caleb must have told you.”

“I guess he mentioned something.”

“So you’ll come, right? Next week it’s at Rowen’s? He probably won’t be quite as drunk.”

“I - uh - I don’t have his address.” Calum mentioned and, truthfully, that was the only thing he was thinking about.

Because he’d spent half an hour with these people - with Y/N and her friends. And it was like he was back in high school, with nothing more to worry about than just one friend being a lightweight, than thinking of a funny comeback to a friends response.

It was the first time since leaving high school that he’d felt truly normal. Surrounded by people like Y/N. People like Caleb, Charlie, Rowen, Alistair and little Emma. Their other friends who he hadn’t yet managed to speak to.

“I’ll text it to you, Cal - and Emma will bring her trainers and you and Caleb can continue her football lessons.”

Yeah, Calum reckoned he could manage a few more barbecues.

///

“Calum! No way man! When did you arrive back in town?” Calum was surprised by the hug Rowen brought him into.

“Ro, dude, seriously how pissed were you last week?” Alistair asked, raising his hand at Calum from behind Rowen in the hallway.

“Were you at Charlie’s barbecue as well?” Rowen asked in shock, furrowing his brow as he tried to remember.

“Yeah, we actually had a very similar conversation and hug last week as well. It’s still good to see you again, though,” Calum told him, a smile on his face. Rowen stood back and allowed Calum to enter into his house. “You doing alright, Alistair?”

“Not bad, Calum. Yourself?”

“Yeah I’m good, thanks.”

And it was true. For the first time in a while, Calum was actually feeling good. He felt normal. At Charlie’s barbecue Y/N and Calum had exchanged numbers and they had been texting almost all week, about irrelevant things. It had started with Y/N sending him a photo of a dog she had seen on a run in the park that she thought he’d appreciate the photo. It had sparked a conversation and Calum found himself smiling more than before.

The day after the dog photo Y/N had added him to a WhatsApp group chat. She had texted him immediately after, apologising because she had realised she forgot to ask him if he wanted to be added. He didn’t mind at all, it was the only group chat other than the one with his bandmates that he hadn’t muted.

It was almost constantly going and it had taken a couple of days with Y/N encouraging him for him to get in the swing of writing responses.

“Wait - are you on the group chat?” Rowen asked, following Alistair and Calum through his own house. Calum and Alistair looked at each other in evident amusement and Alistair chuckled, shaking his head.

“Come on, man. Y/N has been waiting for you to turn up so that you can take her place in ‘football training’,” Alistair informed him, clapping his hand onto Calum’s shoulder in a friendly gesture and Calum’s heart soared at the mention of Y/N looking forward to see him.

“Oh - about that! I remembered Y/N saying that Emma was into football? And I saw what you were saying on the chat about, y’know, getting her some actual boots?” Calum said awkwardly.

“Oh, Calum-”

“No, no, man... I was just looking through some of my old stuff and I found my first pair of football boots and so I know they’re not much and it’s a kinda crappy gift but...” Calum reached into the bag he found and brought them out as an awkward offering. Alistair looked between Calum and the football boots before nodding.

“If you’re sure then... that’d be great... Emma’ll love them.”

“Okay, uh, cool,” Calum smiled and put the boots back in the bag to pass to Alistair.

“Go give them to her,” Alistair laughed, shaking his head a little. “I’m going to get some beers from the fridge - you want one?”

“Yeah - oh, can you put these in the fridge for me, then?” He asked, holding up the box of beers he had brought with him.

The moment that he stepped outside he felt his heart flood with instant relief, he felt free upon entering Rowen’s garden, surrounded by his new friends. Especially when he caught sight of Y/N. She was running around with Emma and Caleb. Emma was in a swimming costume and a pair of armbands, Caleb in a pair of trunks and Y/N was in a bikini and a pair of shorts, a flannel shirt unbuttoned adorned her shoulders and a pair of sunglasses perched on her nose.

The three of them were barefoot, kicking a football around, Caleb and Y/N taking it in turns to help Emma and ensure she didn’t stumble and fall.

“Cal!” Emma changed course quickly and Calum laughed, dropping his things to the floor to accomidate her rushing towards him.

“You made it!” Caleb cheered.

“I did,” Calum agreed, sweeping Emma up.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Y/N said, her tone a little soft and Calum wished she would take off her sunglasses so he could see her eyes.

An hour later, when food was being served up, Calum joined Y/N by the edge of Rowen’s pool, sitting down with his own legs dangling over the edge and into the cool water. Y/N looked over at him and offered him a grin.

“You stink,” she informed him.

“Well some of us have been entertaining children all day.”

“If you’re trying to bag a spot as being Emma’s favourite aunt or uncle then I’m afraid you’ve already missed the boat and you’re looking at her - she’s more loyal than you’d think.” Calum joined in with her laughter.

“I wanted to say thanks.”

“What for?”

“Y’know... all of this,” he gestured at the people around him and shrugged. “Just wanted to say thanks.”

“It was Caleb who invited you, remember? The rest of us just put up with that decision.” Calum smiled down at his plate of food and shook his head.

“Tell me something?”

“What’s up?”

“If Rowen’s parents were so pissed about... you know... him coming out... why do they let him have all of you guys at their house?”

“Well... he’s their only kid, you know? They’re... trying to get better with it all and... they’re on holiday anyway for the summer so they wanted someone to house watch.”

“It’s weird that you’re all back home for the summer.” Calum commented and Y/N shrugged her shoulders sighing and allowing her head to drop and land on his shoulder. Calum felt his heart rate pick up.

“Well Alistair moved back so Sydney a little after Emma’s mum abandoned them to be with his parents for support and all, and Tate moved here a couple of months ago for a job, and I guess you know why Caleb’s home,” Calum nodded, remembering what Caleb had told him about his mothers health. “Jess recently got together with Tate - but they think none of us know that - so while she says she’s back all summer to spend time with all of us we know that’s just a lie,” Calum laughed a little. “And then Rowen agreed to house sitting in an attempt to appease his parents.”

“What about you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why are you back all summer?”

“Well it’s nice being home and seeing the family, Calum. Not all of us have a rockstar life in LA to be missing out on,” Y/N said with a meaningful glance his way, her eyebrows raised in challenge and Calum understood the meaning behind her words.

“Well I’m glad you’re here,” Y/N’s expression softened as she listen to him and took in his somewhat bashful appearance.

“I’m glad you’re home too, Cal.”

///

“So are you feeling better, Cal? After being back home?” Michael asked his best friend down the phone.

Calum had been in Sydney for approaching three months and for two of a half of them he had been spending going to the weekly neighbourhood barbecues held by Y/N’s group of friends. He had very quickly been accepted into the group and had formed close friendships with most of them, the only two who he wasn’t as secure with being Tate and Jess, but Y/N had assured him that that was because the two of them were too wrapped up in each other at the present moment.

And he and Y/N had gotten especially close. He liked being around her. He appreciated the feeling of contentedness she brought him. He liked that she made him feel normal. He liked that she made him feel wanted as more than just ‘the bassist of 5 Seconds of Summer’.

“Yeah, man… I feel a lot better than I did.” Calum agreed. He was currently walking over to Y/N’s house. It was her week to host the barbecue, admittedly some of the others had had to have it multiple times but it was fair enough seeing as though Y/N’s parents were still home for the summer as well, but had agreed to get out of the house for the day to allow Y/N to play hostess to her friends.

Y/N had joked down the phone that it really was just like being in high school again, having to wait for her parents to be out of the house for her to host a party.

That was another thing, him and Y/N spoke almost constantly. Outside of the barbecues that were fairly regularly scheduled, almost always landing on the same day every week, often at the same time as well, they would invite each other out to get coffee or ice cream or walk down the beach. Much of his summer break from the band had been spent accompanying Y/N when she took Emma to football practice to help out Alistair as much as she could.

Calum would likely never admit it to anyone but it was fairly doubtless in his mind that Y/N was much of the reason he was getting better by being back home in Sydney.

“That’s good…” Michael trailed off and silence fell between them over the line. For the first time since Calum’s somewhat downward spiral had begun, though, it wasn’t an awkward one. It felt as though he could feel the happiness radiating off of his best friend that he was feeling better, the pride that Michael felt in him that he was taking steps towards recovery. “I think-”

“I’ve been-” they began to speak at the same time, the two of them letting out chuckles. “Sorry, what were you…”

“No, no, you go first,” Michael said. Calum wasn’t surprised by that response. He hadn’t been willingly speaking much in the past few months before returning home so his friends encouragement made sense.

“I was just going to say I’ve been writing again.” Calum admitted as he began the walk up Y/N’s front garden to her door.

“Really?” Michael’s excitement was almost painful to hear and Calum winced, it hitting then (not for the first time) how much his mental state had been affecting his friends.

“Yeah! I was… I was thinking about maybe emailing what I have to you? You can check it out, see if its worth anything, you know?” He raised his hand and knocked on the door.

“Dude, I don’t think you’ve ever written a bad song, even when we were first starting,” Calum was laughing at Michael’s words when Y/N opened the door, raising her eyebrows as she saw Calum on the phone.

“Who is it?” She mouthed.

“Michael,” Calum audily answered.

“What?” Michael asked.

“Oh, shit. Sorry man, Y/N wanted to know who I was talking to,” Calum explained as Y/N stepped back to allow him into her house, mild amusement dancing over her features.

“Wait, Y/N from high school?”

“Yeah, Y/N from high school,” Calum confirmed, giving the aforementioned girl an exaggerated eye roll and Y/N covered her mouth to stop herself from giggling.

“The same Y/N you harboured a crush on for, like, three years and invited to our first concert to impress her?” Michael teased and Calum felt the blood rush to his cheeks, infinitely grateful that Y/N couldn’t hear Michael’s side of the conversation.

“Yeah, that Y/N… plus, at least I invited someone to that who actually showed up.”

“Is this your first concert?” Y/N asked Calum quietly and he nodded. “Showed up and brought friends - remember, Rowen somehow got in.”

“Yeah, remember how she brought a friend who got completely smashed?” Michael remembered at the same time, the coincidental nature of the situation causing Calum to laugh again.

“Is he coming home as well?” Y/N questioned and Calum relayed the question to his friend.

“Ah, yeah that was what I was trying to tell you - we’re all coming back for a couple of weeks. We’ve had our tickets booked for a while but didn’t want you to think we were checking up on you.” Calum explained Micahel’s answer to Y/N who nodded thoughtfully before grabbing the phone from his hand. Calum made a noise of indignation and chased her down the hallway and out into her garden.

“Cal’s having a barbecue at his next week, you should come! And the other guys too,” Y/N invited.

“It’s my fucking house!” Calum complained, but he didn’t really mind, truthfully he was thrilled at the idea of Michael, Ashton and Luke meeting his new friends properly.

“Language, Calum!” Alistair scolded, Emma was giggling in his arms after having heard Calum swear.

“Sorry Em!” Calum called, still chasing after Y/N.

“Yeah, of course they can come! I didn’t realise you were engaged, Mike, congratulations! And Luke’s really got a girlfriend? I figured he was still too awkward to talk to girls. He almost shit himself that time I congratulated him after the gig.” Y/N mused. She turned around and couldn’t stop herself from letting out a yelp of surprise when she saw how close Calum was. “I think he wants his phone back,” Y/N explained. “Yeah, it was nice speaking to you too, Mike… yeah, see you next week then!” Calum had his hand stretched out and while he tried to hide it his amusement from the situation was clear in his eyes. Y/N was reluctant to pass Calum the phone but placed it in his hand nonetheless with an innocent smile.

“She seems like fun.” Michael commented and Calum met Y/N’s eyes as he replied.

“Yeah, she’s pretty great.” Y/N’s embarrassment was clear and she excused herself away, joining Jess and Tate, stepping in the middle of the ‘secret’ couple and clapping a hand on each of their shoulders.

Calum and Y/N met again almost an hour later. He was last in line for food - all vegetarian this time since Y/N’s whole family were veggie and Y/N refused to cook meat and they walked together over to where two deckchairs were on the patio outside of her house, giving them a view of their friends.

“You okay?” Calum asked after a moment's silence and Y/N nodded. “You just seem quieter than normal,” he mentioned and Y/N sighed a laugh, leaning to rest her head on his shoulder.

“Sorry - I get a bit nervous when it’s my turn to host,” she admitted.

“Well it’s all been pretty great,” Calum assured her. “Excepting the lack of meat, of course,” he added, nudging her gently and Y/N laughed again.

“Cal?” He made a noise of acknowledgement. “Why… why are you back?” For the first time, the silence between them felt awkward. “Sorry - you don’t have to answer, I was just…” Y/N sat up, shaking her head. “I’ll go.” Calum’s hand was working on its own when it reached out to stop her from standing up.

“Stay,” Y/N looked at him, her eyes a little wide, unsure at his command but she gave hesitant nod. “My mum told me to come back,” he admitted and suddenly their closeness didn’t feel close enough. He wanted the comfort being near her brought him and he tugged her closer.

Y/N didn’t fight back against his affections and moved over from her deckchair to his, allowing his head to fall into her shoulder.

“I wasn’t… I wasn’t doing well in LA. I mean, I was. The band was doing great, we were planning for the tour and the next album and everything but…”

“But you weren’t great?” Y/N offered gently and Calum let out a long sigh before nodding.

“I was sad… I was just so sad so much of the time and I couldn’t find inspiration to write, I didn’t want to talk to anyone, I didn’t want to go anywhere and I just didn’t feel like me… do you know what I mean?” Y/N gave a wordless nod of understanding, knowing that if she spoke now, Calum would never finish his confession and she got the idea that he needed to get it off of his chest. “And I knew the others were worried about me - Mali wanted me to visit her in London because she thought a change of scenery was what I needed, Ash offered to let me move in for a bit but then my mum called and… she basically begged me to come home.”

“I’m glad she did,” Y/N confessed, rolling over so that they were face to face, her hands gently playing with the curls of his hair. He smiled gently at her, nodding.

“So am I… with you and the others I feel more like me than I have in a while,” he admitted.

“Because we’re all a bit more fucked up than you?” Y/N offered and Calum laughed, shaking his head.

“Because you don’t just see me for the band.”

///

“Am I early?”Calum was equally shocked at seeing Rowen on his doorstep.

The man was the least prepared of the whole group, consistantly late to anything they organised, always forgetting to respond to messages on the group chat and when he did send something it tended to be prefaced by something dumb he had done, he was almost always borrowing food from other people because he would forget to do his weekly shop.

Rowen was an idiot, but they all loved him.

Though it was the aforementioned reasons that their friends gave for not putting Rowen as their accountant, despite that being what his job was.

“Yeah, man - you feeling okay?”

“Yeah - I’m fully going to rub this in all of their faces when they arrive, though,” Rowen declared, entering through Calum’s house before pausing in the hallway and turning back.

“What?”

“I left the beer at home.”

“It’s probably for the best for you, Ro,” Calum mused, patting Rowen on the back. “And I know I said you’re early but there are already some people here.”

Ashton, Luke, Sierra, Michael and Crystal had arrived in Australia two days ago and had barely left Calum’s side the whole time. While they had assured him countless times that they weren’t checking up on him, Calum was well aware that they were, in fact, checking up on him. As a result of his friends suddenly developed clinginess, it was unsurprising that they were already at Calum’s house helping him prepare for the barbecue.

“Y/N also said she was going to try and come a little early,” Calum added after informing Rowen of his band mates presence.

“That was something I wanted to talk to you about, actually,” Rowen added as they moved into Calum’s back garden. “Dude you didn’t say you had a pool!”

“I one hundred percent did, but what did you want to talk to me about Y/N for?”

“Oh shit yeah. Right so, are you planning on telling her you like her or not?”

“Valid question!” Michael called from where he was attempting with Luke to light the barbecue.

“I-I don’t know what you mean,” he stammered out, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.

“He’s lying!” Ashton called from where he and the girls were arranging the drinks in the coolers on the table. Calum flipped off his friends.

“It’d be cool if you did because she likes you too.” Rowen informed him and Calum froze.

“She-she does?”

“Please, Y/N is never normally this friendly to anyone,” Rowen scoffed.

“She’s lovely!” Calum argued, growing a little defensive of the girl he had been harbouring a crush on.

“Yeah she is but she’s also a sarcastic bitch a lot of the time,” Rowen pointed out, rolling his eyes. “Either way, my point was that you should tell her.”

Rowen walked away to take a beer from where Ashton, Sierra and Crystal were, leaving Calum stood stock still alone on his porch, his mind racing.

“He’s right,” Ashton said as he approached his friend, passing Calum a beer as he joined him.

“Not you too,” Calum sighed, rubbing his forehead.

“Dude, this is the happiest I’ve seen you in months and I know for a fact its thanks to her, I’ve never heard you talk about any other girl in the same way that you talk about Y/N so… you need to tell her.”

“I can’t, Ash. She’s so painfully too good for me that the idea of telling her I like her with the hope of her liking me back is laughable. Actually, she probably would laugh if I told her. Look, you’ll meet her today and you’ll see what I mean.”

“I don’t need to see her to know she’s out of your league but that’s beside the point,” Ashton argued.

“You’re doing a great job at boosting my self esteem and building my confidence, by the way. Have you ever considered going into counseling if the band doesn’t work out?” There was a knock on the door and Calum gave Ashton an incredibly pointed look. “I’m going to get that. When I come back I want you to have learnt how to shut the fuck up.”

Calum walked away from Ashton, his friends infectious laughter following him down the hall and bringing a smile to his face.

“Sorry - I know I said I’d be earlier than this,” Y/N greeted him apologetically.

“Don’t worry about it - the guys were here to help set up,” Calum assured her, taking the box of alcohol from her hands.

“I just need to grab the rest of the stuff from my car,” she smiled.

“Do you need a hand?”

“No, no it’s fine. I’ll see you out back?” Calum nodded his confirmation and carried the box of booze she had brought out to his garden.

“Did you tell her?” Luke hollered across the garden, everyone but Calum erupting into laughter as the bassist groaned heavily.

“You make me want to slam my face into a table!”

“Don’t do that - you have quite a nice face,” Y/N responded as she came out of the hallway into the garden carrying two carrier bags. Rowen wolf whistled loudly and Y/N struggled with her luggage for a moment before managing to extend her middle finger at him.

“What do you even have in there?” Calum questioned, trying to move so that Y/N couldn’t see his face, which he knew would be red from embarrassment at her compliment.

“I made too much food last night for tea so I brought some leftovers for Al, Emma and Ro. And then I also picked up a bottle of wine for your parents to-”

“To thank them for letting you come over?” Calum interrupted, seeing where Y/N was going and she nodded. “Wow, we really are back in high school.”

“Fuck you,” Y/N groaned. “I’ve met your parents, like, once and we literally have come over and kicked them out of their home so we can be here and have a barbecue instead, I feel bad.”

“Trust me, they like you because they think you single handedly are the reason for me being happy again.”

“Are you trying to say that’s not the case?” Y/N gasped in offense, her hand going to her heart.

“Come on, we both know that Em was at least half the reason.”

“Valid point - I also bought some champagne that was on offer? Figured we could celebrate your band coming back or, if that’s too cheesy then there’s more alcohol for us to drink away our sadness with!” She cheered, bringing the champagne out of her bag.

“I like the sound of option B,” Luke chipped in, joining Calum and Y/N.

“Bro, you look absolutely nothing like I remember you,” Y/N commented, her eyes widening in surprise as she looked Luke up and down.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“It was meant as one,” Y/N assured with a smile. “I’m Y/N, by the way. Not sure if you…”

“I remember you,” he confirmed, grinning and his gaze slid over to Calum. “Besides, with the amount Calum-”

“Alright, Luke, that’s enough,” Calum had never been more grateful for Sierra’s presence. “Hey, I’m Sierra, Luke’s girlfriend. It’s lovely to meet you.” Calum watched Y/N take her hand, her smile a little more nervous than he had seen it be before.

“Y/N, it’s nice to meet you too. Mike mentioned that you and…” Y/N’s face dropped a little, her eyes widening as she seemed to search her mind for the name.

“Crystal,” Calum filled in for her quietly.

“Yeah, of course. He said that you and Crystal would be coming,” she confirmed, turning to give Calum a grateful smile.

“Luke, I need your help with something,” Sierra mentioned and Calum and Luke’s faces both furrowed in confusion until Sierra shot a look at Calum and he quickly cottoned onto what she was trying to do. Calum shook his head, his eyes wide but the couple left, giggling as they did so.

“Everything alright, Cal?” Y/N asked, seeing the panicked and mildly pissed off look on his face.

“Uh, yeah! I was actually going to ask you the same thing, you seem nervous,” he added, allowing his concern to outweigh his own personal worry.

“Ah, I’m just not great at meeting new people.”

“You’ve already met the guys.”

“I never spoke to any of you guys really in high school, though,” she pointed out and Calum nodded a little, conceding to her point.

“You didn’t seem nervous talking to me,” he said after a moment of thinking.

“Yeah, but… I dunno, you’re you, you know? Plus, I had all the others to fall back on if you did decide you hated me so that was less pressure than this,” Calum snorted in laughter.

“You’re such a dumbass.”

“I take pride in it.”

Calum could feel the eyes of his bandmates, their girlfriends and Rowen burning into them as they lapsed into conversation. When there was another knock at the door, Calum was unsurprised to hear someone else call to say they’d get it.

“They’re… they are all acting kind of strange today, right? I’m not just imagining it?”

“Oh no, they’re definitely acting strange.” Calum confirmed.

“Do you know why?” She asked, observing them, though now they had gone into their own individual conversations. Calum had a feeling it was to try and play off that they were watching him and Y/N.

Calum sighed. He had a feeling that it was better to just tell her rather than have Rowen or Luke drunkenly blurt it out, knowing that the likelihood of that happening was quite high.

“I need to tell you something,” he began and his nerves came to hit him flat in the face when Y/N turned to give him her absolute full attention.

“That sounds serious,” she said, a nervous smile on her own face. “Is this a ‘sit-down-with-a-beer’ kind of serious talk or a ‘stand-up-and-shut-the-fuck-up-Y/N’ kind of serious talk?” Calum chuckled, his nerves easing just a slight bit from her familiar mannerisms.

“The second one, but I don’t want you to shut up,” Calum took a deep breath. “In fact, I’d gladly listen to you talk forever,” Y/N’s expression softened a little. “I… I’ve been really lost for the past few years of my life. Perhaps… perhaps I never really knew who I was because of what happened to the band happened so early in our lives that we never got a chance to figure out who we were. And the months before I came to Sydney I thought that… that maybe I wasn’t anyone other than ‘Calum the bassist from 5 Seconds of Summer’ but… when I’m with you I feel like I know who I am,” he explained, his gaze dropping down to his hands. “I thought being home would be shit, just another reminder of who I am and I thought when I went to Charlie’s barbecue that anyone I met there would just see me for the fame and not see me. But… you never did. You saw me for me and you accepted me and looked out for me and cared for me despite me being kind of standoffish that first barbecue,” when he risked a glance up he saw the tears in her eyes and sadness swamped him. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Calum lifted a hand to her cheek to catch the tear that slipped from her eye and Y/N giggled a little, leaning into his touch.

“Happy tears, Cal, I promise - now go on, you were about to profess your undying love for me,” it was teasing, of course it was, but Calum could hear the underlying insecurity in her words, the worry that she may have misinterpreted what he was going to say.

“I really like you, Y/N.”

It was easier to say than Calum thought. He thought the words would be groundbreaking, momentus and earth shattering. But no. It was easy. Simple and sweet and natural. He wasn’t sure why he was so surprised. Everything with Y/N was easy.

Just like how it was easy to allow her arms to wind around his neck.

Easy to place his hands on her waist.

Easy to relax and let her tug him down to meet her.

But easy wouldn’t be the word to describe their kiss. Groundbreaking, phenomenal and otherworldly wouldn’t be quite right either.

No, their lips sliding together, the kiss tasting of beer and spearmint gum, the way that when they broke apart they laughed gently into one another's mouths, it wasn’t any of those things.

Being with her like that was natural.

#courts writings #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer fanfiction #5 seconds of summer imagine #Neighbourhood Barbecues #calum hood #calum hood fanfiction #calum hood imagine #calum hood x reader #calum hood fanfic #calum hood fluff #calum hood angst #calum hood x you #calum hood imagines

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meteor752 · 5 years

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Obi-Wan’s padawan that I accidentally created and ended up liking (This title is terrible)

My friend, Vera, who cosplayed as Ahsoka during Halloween, found out I had this blog and checked it out. Her favorite post out of them was about Obi-Wan’s Padawan loving Maul, and she asked me to make them a character.

So yeah, we sat down together with Kim, who played Obi-Wan, and started talking about directions to take this character. If you don’t like it, then good for you.

Oh, and I realized that we never came up with a name or gender, so I’m making it a She because I wrote out their whole “Family Tree”, and there’s a lot of males, and her name’s gonna be Vera cuz this was her idea

So yeah, Vera River was born somewhere on Wecacoe by an unknown mother. This unknown bitch of a mother sold her quickly, as she wanted nothing to do with poor Vera, so Vera grew up being sold left and right to different slave owners.

Growing up like this, Vera became a very quiet and scared little girl, because if she talked then it was chains. She hated being in chains, and even later in her life, she refuses to wear things like bracelets as it reminds her of it.

This continued until she was five years old, where there was some mission to Wecacoe by two Jedi and she was accidentally stumbled upon and brought to the Jedi temple. And as you might have guessed, the two who stumbled upon her was a 12 year old Anakin and a 28 year old Obi-Wan Kenobi. Because of the fact that she was saved by the two, she started to idolize them like you wouldn’t believe and made sure to keep up on what was going on in the two’s life.

Vera was put in a clan like every Jedi youngling, and in her case the cobra clan (Again, how do they name these?? We just made this name up). Because of the first five years of her life, it did make her a bit insecure and jumpy, which was easy to pick on by her clanmates.

The cobra clan consists of a Pau’an male named Timoa, a Devoranian male named Kaltin, a Kel dor female named Tiivia, a Mon Calamari named Meeka and a female Chiss named Amore. Vera did not get along with either Timoa, Kaltin nor Amore, but Tiivia and Meeka were nice.

Vera herself is from an unknown species (Don’t try to look it up, my friends and I made it up), that is sort of near-human. Her skin is chalk white, french braided hair is ebony black and eyes mud brown with a single peck of Amber. She looks relatively human, the only really abnormal thing is that her arms are a little extra long, and sharp fangs instead of teeth.

The thing is, she has a “Beast” form. When she feels threatened or scared, her outward appearance completely changes.

Her limbs grow longer, her back curves so she has to walk on four legs and her jaw can unhinge when she snarls, hisses or roars. Her mouth is unable to form real words, so instead she sends them telepathically into whoever she is talking to’s brain. The top of her head is formed into a sort of tentacle mass, and two extra arms come out of her back. The worst thing though if you ask her, the worst thing is the eyes. Upon the tentacles, there are almost two dozen covering them, and multiple appear and disappear on her body all the time. It is creepy and confusing on so many levels.

Vera is extremely shamed of the beast, and no one in the Jedi council knows of it except for Master Fisto.

During her clan’s first swim class when she was around nine, Timoa pushed her into the water and the beast emerged, as Vera is deeply terrified of water. Master Fisto comforted her, the sweetheart he is, and promised to keep it a secret. He also made the rest of her clan, who were terrified, keep the same promise. After that day, she had gained a lot more respect from her clan, and she overcame her fear of water.

During her gathering, after having to climb up a wall she could only do as the beast, she instead of founding one crystal, found two. Confused as ever, she climbed back down with the two crystals tightly in her grasp and made it out of the cave, first in her clan as well.

Back on the ship while looking at lightsaber types, she stumbles upon something called a Light Whip and falls in love. So yeah, this sweetie now has two blue light whips, good luck defeating her.

But like, a week or two after Ahsoka, aka the clone wars movie and stuff, Obi-Wan once again requested a Padawan, and after seven years Vera once again met her hero.

And she was his Padawan. Great, time to panic.

Over the course of seven years at the temple, she had done her fair share of research on Master Kenobi and holy kriff this guy can’t catch a break, can he.

So she decided to put up a bubbly, happy exited facade so he won’t have to deal with the mess of a being she is.

The two of them actually ended up getting along quite well, despite Vera putting him on a pedestal all the time. They joked and sassed out each other, but they also fought together perfectly.

Vera and ‘Soka got along as well, with both being new Padawans and not too large of an age difference. They became like sisters, and more than once referred to each other as such.

Ani on the other hand...they didn’t exactly hate each other, they just..did not...get along. Vera still admired him greatly, he did help with her rescue as a five year old after all.

During a mission where just the two of them ended up stuck in a ship in the middle of space for a couple of hours, Vera tried an Ice Breaker to get to know each other better.

They ended up really getting to know each other though, as they both vented about their past and feelings -Ani about his jealousy for Vera being a better Padawan than he could ever be and his anger for the Jedi council, and Vera about bottling up her feelings- and then cried. After that they had a better connection and became sort of slave buds. They never called themselves that though, cuz that is weird.

Oh, remember this? Yeah, if Vera was present she would have been discussing that with them, as she is easily distracted.

After that though, she started pondering about their actual lineage and how wide it goes, so yeah she started her research, and after a couple of months she had mapped out everything and was on multiple masters radar.

The only people she Officially showed were Master Kenobi, Ani and ‘Soka, but she did slip from time to time and just accidentally showed someone to prove a point.

After ‘Soka by mistake called Ani dad (A headcanon of mine, you can’t tell me it didn’t happen at least thrice) she did another family tree, but this time of how she viewed her family, and since both the 501st and 212th are apart of it she had to get to know the name of every clone trooper in both battalions that have ever lived.

It. was. torture. But worth it!

This one was more personal though, and only a few people knew about it. And anytime Ani and Master Kenobi had a “moment”, she may or may not have squealed a bit because the tree ‘Soka! The tree!

This also created the inside joke of Master Kenobi and Vera from time to time calling each other “Dad” and “Daughter”, mostly to tease Ani and ‘Soka, but also because they had made a bond over their time together.

Even though she viewed both Master Kenobi and Ani as her father figures, Vera still really liked Satine and just thinks that she and Master Kenobi should hook up already.

She’s also one of the very few people that are unaware of Senator Amidala and Ani’s marriage, but she still thinks they would be a cute couple.

Ummmmm, what do we more have...she’s Aromantic Asexual! She just doesn’t see Romantic Love as necessary to her, and Sex will forever be destroyed for her thanks to her history as a slave, cough cough.

Her diet mainly consists of bugs when she’s unable to go hunting. This grosses Master Kenobi out like you wouldn’t believe, cuz great now there’s two of them. Ani and ‘Soka approves.

When she is on a forest planet though, then she gladly sneaks away to go hunting. It’s not that she’s not allowed, persay, it’s just that most of the time parts of The Beast is shown.

If she sees that it is safe enough, she sometimes lets the beast out for a run, mostly because if she doesn’t and keeps it hidden for too long she becomes aggressive, and she fears that it might appear out of nowhere.

I realized after this was finished that fuuuuck, this means I have to add what Vera was doing during every episode both Obi-Wan and Ahsoka is in fucking kill meeee. So yeah, this is not discussed with either Kim nor Vera, this is only me. Surprise Mother Fuckers.

And I won’t explain every arc, as most times she was just standing around or fighting.

During Mortis she was unconscious. I rewatched the episodes for this, and realized that there is no way to add her without changing major plot points. So yeah, after Ahsoka and Kenobi fall asleep in that cave and have their visions, she does too but doesn’t wake up until they’ve left Mortis. I will explain why later

Slaves of Zygerria she just takes Rex’s place basically, since she’s an ex-slave and doesn’t want to be put back into that. This backfires however as they are put into the slave camp, and suffer terrible nightmares after it for months. Lot of cuddles with Ahsoka if ya know what I mean

During the Citadel Arc, she actually follows orders and stays behind, Ahsoka!

She goes into depression during the Hardeen ordeal and didn’t leave her quarters. No one blamed her for that.

Alright let’s address the elephant in the room here.

She found out at an early age about Maul killing Master Kenobi’s master, and at first she was as shocked and terrified as most younglings were, because A Sith?! We thought those were dead!!

But then she was actually showed a picture of Maul, and holy shit this guy looked cool!!

Like, she has seen Zabraks before, obviously, but damn! The way his dark tattoos looked against his red skin, the glowing eyes, the tattoos just !! Wow!!

It got even worse when she first found out about his red double-bladed lightsaber, that made him look even cooler!

More than once after Vera became Master Kenobi’s Padawan did she ask about the Sith, as vaguely as she could, but her master didn’t really like talking about it and she accepted that.

When she found out that he was alive though...holy shit...

‘Soka could literally not make her stop talking about it, and Vera waited not so patiently day after day until finally, finally, her master told her that they were dealing with a “Maul Issue”.

Callback to this, she freaked out, Maul and Savage were confused as hell and Master Kenobi was just. what. the fuck. why. is this. happening to me.

On their way back to the temple, bloody and bruised, more Master Kenobi then Vera as Savage had a very hard time fighting her, he asked what the kriff that was.

So yeah, Vera started rambling about how fucking awesome she thought Maul was, the same with his brother who she found out existed two hours earlier, and that she really wanted a double bladed saber and Master Kenobi just being like this is really not what I meant, stop idolizing them.

She acts similar around Mr. Ohnaka, who finds great joy in the little Kenobi and gladly answered all of her questions about being a Pirate when they meet.

Now, Vera isn’t all happy feeling of course. Just like everyone else, she suffers negative feelings as well, and in her case they are quite...extra.

She has a bad habit of tapping into the dark side of the force, sometimes out of anger, sometimes fear, and sometimes just because it’s the easiest way. If you are able to kill someone by force choking them to end the mission, why shouldn’t you? It doesn’t make you a bad person, right?

Well, it did however turn on her after she turned fourteen, two years after she was assigned to Master Kenobi, and just a few months before the Jedi Purge (Also before ‘Soka’s trial)

A small stealth mission, Master Kenobi and Ani with their two Padawans and a handful of clones, was surprised by a full on assault. The four of them nearly got killed that day.

But a wall inside Vera broke, and every ounce of the Dark Side of the force inside of her was set free, which meant that parts of The Beast were shown.

Vera herself lifted off the ground, together with every droid in front of her, and then they all were crushed at once.

When Vera’s feet were back on the ground once again, and she looked back at the three near unconscious bodies, it was instead of her two mud brown eyes six pitch black one, two on her cheekbones and two on her forehead.

She smiled back at them, showing off her fanged teeth, but she was met with faces of horror. That was when the true realization of what she had done hit her, and The four extra eyes melted back into her skin. Horrifying sight, truly.

She was silent on the way back to the Jedi temple, ‘Soka trying to ask her what happened, but she simply just shook her head.

It was the same in front of the council, she refused to speak so Master Kenobi had to explain what happened. Master Fisto also ended up telling them about the beast, reluctantly, and only after gaining a silent nod from her.

She was expelled that day.

Left silently, didn’t speak to her master, brother Padawan nor sister.

(Alright, I want y’all to take the next thing with a grain of salt. Vera, Kim and I had fun with the idea, and it was mostly a joke, but I’m going to share it anyways. Oh and also, I would recommend reading this beforehand, as use that headcanon, thanks!)

Barely a week or two after she left for Wecacoe trying to find anything about what the kriff she was, she started to feel a presence. It was weak and vague, but one thing was sure.

It was dark.

So Vera sat down in meditation position in front of a candle, as she had always found that that helped, and started to meditate in the dark side of the force.

Barely an hour into doing this it was there once again, more evident this time. When she opened her now six eyes, she locked eyes with a barely solid being, whose eyes shone with gleam and amusement. A being she had only briefly seen before it had knocked her unconscious for who knows how long a year prior in Mortis.

The Son

As any sane person she stood up and ignited her whips, asking how and why he was there.

So he explained who she was.

A fucking force wielder, created fourteen years ago in an attempt to create a being as powerful as him to balance how to ever growing light side of the force. His daughter.

After a lot of convincing and ifs and buts, Vera actually agreed to follow to Mortis as the embodiment of the Darkside, just so she can balance everything out.

(Personal headcanon of mine, the moment a force wielder dies another one is created, if one doesn’t already exist that is. So yeah, she also agrees to find her one year old cousin and brings him there no she did not kidnap him hush).

The Jedi council notices the small shift in the force, and Kenobi, Skywalker, and Tano eventually figures out Mortis, and thanks to the fact that Anakin is a Force Wielder himself (I will never stop believing that), they manage.

The three of them expect to find the Son, or something like him in the Cathedral.

Instead, they find Vera on the floor meditating, her eyes dark and ominous and red markings over her white skin.

They questioned it, obviously, and she explained who and what she was. They didn’t believe her, why would they, and thought that the Son had just manipulated her. This angered her a little as the son, her father, had passed away just a few days earlier. A force manifestation doesn’t make it for that long without a body, and he had fulfilled his purpose by bringing her there.

She offered them to stay, and if they would declined she didn’t want them returning. They refused, and Vera snapped, attacking.

She nearly killed Ahsoka. She stood above her, her whips way to close to the Togrutas throat, eyes once again pitch black and fangs glimmering in the small light that was let in.

Anakin saved her life by slicing up Vera’s mouth, completely destroying parts of her lips. Everything stopped inside of Vera for a second as she was thrown back, blood pouring down her face. A force wielder could not die unless it was of the dagger, but physical damage could be caused to them.

The rage flooded inside her veins, and when she looked up back at her former master, brother padawan and sister, her eyes were neither black nor brown. They were red, and had no sign of her usual kind and happy nature left in them.

Vera lifted the three of the ground, and as angry tears streamed down her face she yelled at them to never return or she would end their life immediately, and then forced them out of Mortis. That was the last time she saw any of them.

She spent most of her days taking care of her cousin, Tartur, or meditating the pain away. Crying became a part of her routine. At first, she constantly checked Kenobi, Skywalker and Tano’s force presence, but stopped after just a few weeks as it hurt too much.

The purge almost gave her a heart attack, as it was so much pain and death at once. All the deaths mixed together made that she couldn’t clearly tell who died when, but when it was finally over she simply assumed that everyone was gone, including her former master and her sister.

Skywalkers fall was understandable, she’d felt his possessive nature when she was still a Padawan, but she was still angered.

Tartur grew up hearing stories of the galaxy, the Jedi and the force. Vera taught him everything she knew about using the force and trained him in hand to hand combat and with a pole resembling a lightsaber. She never picked up her light whips after the day she nearly killed her sister.

Despite being the woman that raised him, and his family, and being the embodiment of light, Tartur grew up hating his cousin because she could leave, he couldn’t.

By Anakin, the child of the force, using the dark side, Tartur had to stay on Mortis to keep the balance and push light side into the force at all times.

Vera on the other hand could leave, or for a few days at least, but she chose not to unless it was for a supply run (This girl loves her son good hot chocolate), otherwise she stayed at all times.

When Maul died, she felt it which was a surprise to her for two reasons.

One, he survived for that long? Told you he was awesome!

And two, she hadn’t felt any deaths since the purge.

Obi-Wan was next, which nearly tore her open. His death actually made her leave Mortis just to find out what happened, and that was when she met a sunny force sensitive young boy named Skywalker. Wait a minute-!

Ahsoka’s death was the last one, years later. At this point she had nearly gotten used to it, and she was able to accept it.

It was also during this time that Tartur and her started to avoid each other for long periods of time. They kept to their side of the planet for sometimes weeks, sometimes longer. Once they went for two years.

After maybe a millions years of living on this planet, sulking for the most part, Vera decided to take initiative and actually see the galaxy, find out what happened to the places she used to love so much.

And the galaxy sure was...different. When she walked around, a cloak covering her dark Jedi looking robes and red eyes scanning the area, she noticed multiple untrained force sensitive beings.

During some quick research in a library, she learned that the Jedi were seen as myths and legends nowadays, and that very few people believed in their existence.

So she took some more initiative and managed to charm her way into talking in front of a couruscant school, her old masters teachings always comes to use, and before she knew it she stood on a stage in front of hundreds of wondering and confused eyes.

So she started simply, asking how many knew what a Jedi were, of which maybe a fourth of the school raised their hand, something that made her incredibly sad. When she asked how many believed in the Jedi, nearly everyone lowered their hand, except for a small Zabrak boy, maybe thirteen or fourteen years old.

The Zabrak boy got a few laughs from the audience, but Vera simply smiled kindly and asked for his name, which was Revar.

And then she explained the force, the Jedi, the Sith, tales of the old republic she’d heard as a child, the clone war, the empire the first order everything. Everything to these children, and no one said a word as she spoke, just stared at her in awe.

When she was finally done and her mouth was dry and she craved hot chocolate, an even younger Twi’lek girl raised her hand and asked what the Jedi were like.

After she answered that question, more hands flew into the air.

So she kept returning to that school, once every three months, to tell stories and answer questions. Some kids did a little research on their own and asked questions about specific Jedi, and she gladly told them of what she knew.

Around ten kids on the school were force sensitive, including Revar, and there were even some that were related to the Jedi of her time. This she never told them while on stage though, and instead in private. She taught these ten a few tricks to conceal their force abilities, but also how to do simple Jedi mind tricks or moving small objects.

More schools requested her, and after around three years with these kids she moved on to a different one. Eventually she stood on stage in front of entire planets, and from time to time even got help by Tartur.

Planets started to hail the Jedi more and more, and small monuments were built in their honor. Temples were created and some requested Vera to teach them, something she accepted.

Soon the Jedi were back, but in a different way than before. Instead of mainly using the light side, or mainly the dark side, it was a mix of both as that is what Vera are.

Vera and Tartur made sure this lasted for billions of years, teaching new younglings and making sure the older spread what they had learnt. Of course they had to regularly return to Mortis, but when they could they were traveling the galaxy.

Aeons after her birth, Vera finally passed away peacefully, her cousins promising to take care of the child that would be created when she was gone.

He didn’t cry, he’d seen this coming for days and he knew that his time weren’t that far away either.

Vera reunited with her family finally in the force, and she watched as what she had created continued to live on long after she was gone.

•

This took time! Like, really long time! Me, Vera and Kim talked for hours about this, and had to stop to rewatch the Mortis Arc in the middle of it. I actually like where we took this, and it was fun to do.

But for real, this took weeks, so be grateful

#star wars #Star Wars OC #ahsoka tano #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #star wars au #kinda #long post #Obi-Wan Padawan #Vera is my new favorite OC #mostly because her story has an end #most of my OC’s don’t

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endoftheworldpaul · 5 years

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It's still technically Wednesday for me so looks like we got another close call update!

@dbhrarepairs Here's my submission for day 3, wrong blind date.

Both Convin and Elijah/Leo bc I shouldn't brainstorm when I'm tired.

If you would rather read on AO3, you can click here!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20611682

Again, I apologize, but I'm having serious troubles with getting the read more break in here if anyone has tips I'm willing to listen Google isn't helping.

EDIT: I FIGURED IT OUT. Well, really, I just went on my laptop bc mobile, for all its benefits for my schedule, is super confusing when it wants to be.

Usually, Nines is rather reliable. Always prepared, always punctual, always one step ahead of everyone else.

Just not this week. Finals week had, as always, was hellish for most students. Even Nines felt some of the end of the year panic. And by some, it was more along the lines of going into an over-studying craze.

One problem that accompanies what his close friends have dubbed The Dark Ages is that he takes on too many extra projects in a failing attempt to distract himself.

One such project is promising four very confused and stressed friends to set them up on blind dates. Four friends that, he decided, needed something new to distract from the stresses of life.

Friend number one—Gavin Reed, a police officer closing in on his second year out of police academy—was the one who unintentionally gave Nines the idea to play matchmaker.

On a cold Friday evening, their weekly "chill day," Gavin was complaining about his coworkers, as usual.

"So, there's this new guy, a transfer from Dearborn, who is so fuckin' annoying. Dude spends his entire fucking break, I shit you not, to gush about his wife. Just got married. Who cares? Lotsa people get married, why should it be such a big deal? So I say to him, "Why don't you spend less time rambling on about the missus, and more time solving fucking crimes?" And the asshole has the gall to tell me that I'd change my mind if I could keep someone around for more than a week! What a dick right?"

While Nines loved spending time with Gavin, he made conversations interesting and he was honest, he got into moods and would, for lack of a better word, be a huge bitch about things he didn't agree with.

Nines shot a glance towards Gavin, taking in his position sprawled out on Nines' couch, one leg dangling off the edge, fiddling with his phone. "I suppose the only option would be to prove him wrong then. Show that you can 'keep someone around for more than a week' and rub it in his face, good ol' Gavin Reed style." He scowled, "But who would be this mystery date?"

Gavin looked up from his phone, shooting Nines a confused glance. "Well, I 'spose it could be one of those friends of yours. You've got like a million, it can't be that hard to find someone who'll like me. Even if I am kind of a dick!"

Nines hummed in confirmation, mentally creating a list of potential dates for Gavin. He had a lot of pros and cons lists to make.

Friend number two—Connor Stern, a newer acquaintance of his—was the catalyst for the second half of what would eventually turn into Nines' biggest embarrassment.

Connor had been more forthright with his date searching. On one of their shopping trips, devised when they found out they both lived at the same apartment complex as well as frequently shopped at the same local grocery store, he had suddenly enquired as to whether or not Nines could find someone he could go on a date with.

"I suppose, since it's been so long that I've tried dating, that I should consider pursuing romantic relationships. Now that I am about to graduate from the academy, I have more time to do so. So you have anyone in mind whom you think I could form a serious connection with, whether it be more friendly or more romantic?"

At first, Nines was a little surprised. But he quickly overcame that because a wave of excitement washed over him. Since he began planning a blind date for Gavin three days prior, Nines had closely analyzed the personalities of all of his companions. In doing so, he had gotten closer to narrowing down who Gavin's date would be. To find Connor a potential date, all he would have to do is make minor adjustments to his list of complementary personality traits and hobbies.

He gave Connor a small smile in confirmation. "I think I can come up with a person or two."

After narrowing down his list of potentials for Connor, he had to ask friends if they would be available in the set few days Connor had confirmed he would be free.

Option one, a close friend and classmate, North Dufay, stated that she had to take over for a friend who was on vacation at the taekwondo studio she worked at.

Option two, local street artist Markus Manfred, was also unavailable. His father was accompanying him to an art gallery showing in Paris, where both artists would present new works.

That left one person. The third friend roped into Nines' disaster of a plan, Elijah Kamski, genius and programmer, and massive introvert. It had been at least three years, half of the time Nines has known him, since he had even attempted to socialize with anyone outside of his immediate friend group. Jumping from one project to the next, he had a habit of ignoring any of Nines' attempts at getting him to redirect his attention elsewhere and relax. Nines hoped that, by introducing him to someone new who would match his wit and appreciate his devotion to his goals, it would encourage him to pursue other minor hobbies and allow him to de-stress.

Connor, who was sarcastic and determined, seemed like a perfect match.

Finding Gavin a date took a little more thinking than it did for Connor; he had a less approachable personality. Grumpy and irritable, many of Nines' friends would be unable to withstand sharp jabs and brutal honesty long enough to get to see his protectiveness and ambition.

North might've been a good option, but she had prior engagements. Tina might've gotten along well with Gavin, but they had dated in high school and agreed that being friends was better for both of them. At first, Chloe seemed like she might be a good match, but she had recently come out as aromantic and asexual, so Nines ruled her out.

The only option left was the chaotic ball of energy that was Leo Manfred, Markus' half brother. When he was younger, Leo had been in a bad situation, but finding supportive friends and a good therapist that encouraged him to redirect his anger to something more productive had helped him find a purpose in life, create goals.

Now a full time student, well on his way to becoming a psychologist, he was likely to enjoy Gavin's sass and dorky jokes.

People paired up, all Nines had to do was organize the details of the dates. For Connor and Elijah, he decided that a less crowded, but not isolated café just off of the main streets would be perfect. Or, was that where he had planned Gavin and Leo's date? No, he was mostly sure that he had made reservations for them at a local restaurant by Gavin and Tina's shared apartment. He didn't have time to worry about it at the moment; he had a final to study for.

Connor had the feeling that something was going to go wrong. Nines hadn't told him his date's name to prevent him from looking him up on social media platforms and form any opinions on him before their actual date. He was just told that his date was about average height, with dark hair, often wore glasses, and had horrible posture.

So of course, when someone matching that exact description walked through the door six and a half minutes after their scheduled meet up time, he hesitantly waved.

The man, indeed wearing glasses, seemed slightly out of breath. He hadn't seemed to try to dress up, dressed in a faded gray, long sleeved sweater and wrinkled blue jeans.

Flopping down into the chair across from Connor, his date sighed, stuck a hand out to shake, and blurted out "I'm so sorry I'm late! My roommate let my cat outside accidentally and I had to chase her down the street so that I could get her home and by the time I did, I had lime fifteen minutes max, and I still had to shower and stuff and then i realized that my dryer broke in the middle of this last load so most of my clothes are either soaked or horribly wrinkled and I couldn't find a shirt that made my eyes look really good and I forgot to put my contacts in and… yeah. I'm so fuckin' sorry, I wanted to try to impress you but I'm doing a kind of shit job at that huh?"

Connor blinked a few times, trying to absorb the story his date, who still had yet to introduce himself, threw at him. He tried to smile reassuringly, and shook the still outstretched hand. "Well that seems like a horrible afternoon. It's a pleasure to meet you, I'm Connor. You're also a friend of Nines' then I suppose?"

"Oh yeah! Yeah I am. Uh, I'm Gavin. It's nice to meet you." Gavin shifted in his seat. "Sorry again for being late. It really isn't normal for me, I swear."

"Well it happens every one in a while. It's sweet that you care about your cat so much that you would go out of your way to looking for her like that. What's her name, if you don't mind me asking?"

Gavin gasped and frantically pulled his phone out, unlocking it. "Her name is Dana and she's a menace! Look, she's so fluffy!" He shoved his phone at Connor, who takes in the fluffy black mass, staring up at him through the photo. Her bright green eyes reflect a tiny image of Gavin, holding his phone to take the photo and squinting in concentration. Cute.

Connor smiles. "Well, that is the most gorgeous menace I've ever seen. She looks so soft."

"Oh she is. If I don't brush her every day, she gets violent." Connor snorts. "Ha, yeah it's funnier when you're not on the receiving end of her tiny little dagger-teeth. I should probably stop gushing about my cat; you'll think I'm crazy soon! So, uh, how did Nines describe me? Because he described you as, and I quote, a kind of tall, dark haired twink with a nice smile."

Connor chuckled. "It seems like the stress is really getting to him if he could only describe me as a twink with a nice smile. He was a lot more bland when describing you. He said you're average height, with glasses and dark hair and a horrible posture. Which, I mean, at least he's been pretty accurate with his descriptions, even if they do seem rushed."

Humming in agreement, Gavin asked, "Hey, what do you do? You got a job or you studying or what?"

"Oh I'm currently in the police academy. I wanna be a lieutenant someday."

Gavin wiggled in his seat. "Oh shit, I'm a cop too! I escaped the academy two years ago."

"Really? Oh that's amazing! Maybe we'll get to work together on cases. It would be nice to have made a friend or something when I graduate from the academy. So what do you do now? What's it like, being a serious police officer like that?"

They continued chatting for the next two hours, occasionally buying each other snacks and drinks. Connor was hesitant to end the date, suggesting they walk to the park or go watch a movie.

They spent most of the afternoon together, before Gavin offered to walk Connor home. Standing on the sidewalk by the front doors, Gavin slowly took hold of Connor's hands and stood on his toes to kiss Connor's nose.

"I had a lot of fun, I'd love to see you again" Gavin murmured.

A blush crept up Connor's cheeks. "Well it's a good thing I'm free next Saturday, because I do too."

"Oh, well that's good." Gavin sighed. "I'm gonna hafta leave soon, or else Dana'll throw a fit. I'll see you Saturday okay? Is seven good? I got a half brother who can hook me up with some fancy reservations if you'd like."

Connor squeezed Gavin's hand before hesitantly letting go. "Sounds like a date. I can't wait. Goodbye Gavin."

"G'bye."

Elijah was hesitant to go on Nines' blind date. In a hurry, he only said that his date was a smart kid, a couple years younger than Elijah himself, with dark brown, curly hair.

He didn't want the guy to think too highly of him or else he might want to schedule another date, and Elijah didn't have time for that. So, he decided to show up "accidentally" almost half an hour late. Pushing the café door open, his gaze immediately landed on a grumpy looking guy, maybe twenty-ish, who was slumped over his phone in a booth in the far back.

Shambling over to the grumpy kid, he asked "Are you Nines' friend? I'm here for the blind date."

Grumpy guy glanced up at him, grumbling a "Yeah that's me. You a little late there dude."

Slouching into the other side of the booth, Elijah quoted the excuse he planned out. "I'm sorry. My car wouldn't start, so I had to get a ride from a friend. Maybe I can buy you like a coffee or a sandwich to make up for it?"

"Well, you don't have to bribe me. If you're offering though, maybe a blueberry muffin and a caramel macchiato. And also a name?"

Elijah raised his eyebrows. This kid was more blunt than he was expecting. It was… nice. "Hmm I suppose that it makes sense to give you my name. Elijah." He paused. "Kamski." Some people knew who he was. It wasn't that surprising for a programmer as young as he is to catch the attention of mainstream media if they're successful, which he was.

"Leo. Manfred." Manfred, Manfred. Why did that name sound so familiar? "Are you gonna get my stuff or were you lying about that part?"

If he had wanted to make a better impression, he might've actually laughed at that. Instead, all he did was not and stand up, heading toward the counter. As he was walking, he glanced around the café, observing a small family, a couple teenagers working on homework, and Gavin? On a date. Hmm. That's something to tease him about later.

Returning to the table, he expected Leo to still be on his phone, but instead he was casually observing him. Might as well pass the time by talking. That usually pushes people away pretty fast. "You have a job? Studying?"

Munching on his muffin, Leo hummed. "Mhm. Psychology." Maybe this kid is smart. "Don't worry though, I promise I only psychoanalyze on the second date." Oh. He's actually funny. Maybe this won't be as bad as he thought.

Elijah allowed himself to smile a little at that. "Well, well, well, looks like I have something to look forward to." Elijah what are you doing? Did you just insinuate that you would like to go on a second date with this guy?

Leo chuckles and sets his muffin back down on its plate. "Well you still gotta impress me first. Bribery doesn't work with everyone. If this were the second date, though, I'd have a hell of a lot to say about the lying and avoidance of revealing personal details. But, like I said, that'll have to wait 'til the second date."

Definitely smart. More smart-ass though. That was more appealing than Elijah was expecting it to be.

He sighed. "Well, since you caught me, I suppose I'll have to share something for the class. I'm a programmer. I'm currently working on developing AI tools that will recognise voices to activate or shut down household items, like a stove that shuts off to protect young children from lighting their homes on fire."

"That sounds pretty cool actually. Gotta babyproof the fancy smart-technology. I was expecting you to be something lame, like a very antisocial plumber or a dentist or something, but you're not that boring I guess."

This time Elijah couldn't stop himself from laughing. Maybe, just maybe, he'll let himself enjoy this date. "'Not that boring I guess' is a compliment of the highest caliber, coming from someone as attractive as you." Why not go full flirt, if he wants this to go well.

"Keep talking like that and I'll be swooning into your arms in no time. Seriously though, be careful, I'm starting to like you. That would be horrible, wouldn't it?" Leo raised an eyebrow.

Elijah smiled a little. "I guess it wouldn't be that bad. I think I'm starting to like you too." He snuck a piece of Leo's muffin, then hummed in delight. "That is a phenomenal muffin. You've just been hoarding it all for yourself over there? You are a cruel and unjust monster. Gimme more."

Snickering, Leo smacked Elijah's arm away from the plate. "Only nice dates who ask nicely get to share muffins."

Elijah sighed. "Well I suppose if it's for a muffin of this quality, it will be worth it. I would like some muffin."

Leo didn't budge.

"...Please?"

At this, Leo broke off a large chunk of the muffin and handed it to Elijah. "Well, since you asked so politely, I guess I'm required to give you some now. It's good date behavior. Gotta be good if I want ya to stick around I 'spose." He smirked. Then he glanced at his watch, a rather shiny silver. "Oh shit, I gotta go. I'm house-sitting for my half-brother and I gotta feed his birds."

Elijah hesitated in saying goodbye, even as Leo rushed to clean up. Suddenly standing, he blurted out, "Maybe we can schedule that second date?"

Leo paused, looking up at him. For a few seconds, Elijah thought he was going to decline the offer, but then he straightened his spine, smiled softly, and said, "Meet me at that Italian restaurant off of Main, next Tuesday? 6:30?"

"It's a date. I'll see you then. I'll accompany you to your car." The both of them walked side by side, just close enough that every once in a while, their knuckles would brush up against each other. Parting with a wave, Elijah started planning what he would do to show his thanks to Nines for forcing him to do this dumb blind date thing, because it seemed that it wasn't as dumb as he originally thought.

When Nines ran into Connor in the hallway, he had to see how the date went. "So, what did you think of Elijah?"

Connor froze, turned to look at Nines, brow furrowed, and asked, "Who the fuck is Elijah?" Uh oh.

#dbh #dbh rarepair day 3 #dbh rarepair week #dbh connor #connor rk800 #gavin reed #Convin #elijah kamski #leo manfred #leo x elijah #leo manfred x elijah kamski #eli n gav are half brothers #everybody's human

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wordswithkittywitch · 5 years

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Barbie: A Fairy Secret

Well, it’s finally happening. I’ve lowered my standards enough to start posting my thoughts on Barbie movies. Well, my in-depth analysis so I can give all 37 (I’m counting both Barbie and the Rockers half-hour shorts as one movie. It was a continuing plot.) Barbie movies a rank based on my own arbitrary standards. And because it’s arbitrary, they are being scored out of 110 and I starting more or less randomly with the one I watched earlier this afternoon.

Barbie A Fairy Secret: Overall Score: 54/110 Why is it a score out of 110 instead of 100? Because Barbie gives 110%. Also because there are twelve categories, and only one of them is negative. Why is this score so low? Simply put, I’ve seen all the Barbie films and this isn’t the best one. I still enjoy it, and let’s find out why that is...

High points: 6/10 This is a genuinely funny movie, even if sometimes the jokes are so stupid you’re a little ashamed of laughing at them. Even if you’re watching as an adult, you have to accept this is fundamentally a kids’ movie and it’s going to be silly. Now, of course there are some kids’ movies that don’t have this problem, and some of them are even in the Barbie series. But this is a film where Ken Matrix-dodges a puff of glitter.

The architecture of Gloss Angeles and in particular the palace really steals the show; even if a lot of the floating platforms look like gold chocolate kisses hovering upside down. Beyond the gleaming gold and jewel-bright colours, we see a streaked pastel sky extending forever in all directions. Really. All directions. Raquelle asks how far away the ground is, and is quickly informed there is no ground.

Low points: -4/-10 The animation style wasn’t as polished as some of the later Barbie movies, and usually I can just ignore that, but it also lacked the pastel charm of some of the earlier ones. It was kind of in an awkward middle ground. The faces are a little stiffer than other films, and a lot of the emoting needs to be done with the body language.

And on a far more petty note, I don’t think that the name “Zane” sounds as much like a fairy as “Graciellla”. Or “Graylen”. Or even “Crystal”. “Taylor” is on about the same level of sounding like a fairy as “Zane” though.

WLW appeal: 6/10

I’m not saying that two women admitting that they both wanted to be closer but thought that the other one didn’t like them, hugging and then a rainbow of light transforms into fairies, shattering the cage they were in is necessarily lesbian subtext, but it’s really easy to read it that way. Especially since right after it happens Taylor says love is more powerful than a Passion Fairy’s anger.

However, Barbie and Raquelle’s moment of understanding each other pales in comparison to Taylor and Carrie’s relationship. The two are unquestionably close, never out of the other’s sight. However, the thing that made them read as most romantically involved to me wasn’t anything they did on screen: it was Princess Gracellia’s past history with them. When three people are close friends and two of them become so close they cut the third person out without realising they’ve upset them at all, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re dating, but any time I personally can say that I really lost a friend, it was a variation on that story. I’ve seen it in other people, and much to my disgust almost any time someone brings up that this is a problem, the blame falls on the “third wheel” for not realising that romantic love is obviously more important than any of their previous friendships, and suggesting that if they were emotionally mature they would just go off and fine someone to snog themselves, thus becoming a fully realised romantic being.

Okay, none of the romantic part of the last paragraph was textual, and I am definitely projecting at least a little bit; but this is a recurring theme across media, and it sucks, and I enjoy the fact I can avoid it. Yet another reason I have watched all the Barbie movies.

Ace Appeal: 4/10 I suppose this needs to be said at least once, and since this one is getting posted first, it’s a natural choice to get this disclaimer out of the way. No, I don’t think that anyone in Mattel offices ever stops and says, “Hang on. Does the plot of this children’s movie appeal to the sensibilities of adult asexuals?” However, I’m pretty sure there is some variation on “Not all kids like romance, and most parents want to keep the romance their kids see in media to be on the tame side, so we’ll have to pay attention to how much romance we put in and how it’s handled.” However, as an adult asexual, it is always freaking refreshing to have characters interested in something besides The Sex™, and the best place I have found to seek that is in children’s media.

In a movie aimed at adults, one would usually establish the main romantic couple with kissing, steamy stares, and other things that make your friends not want your partner hang out with the rest of the group. Or, in the case of The Airzone Solution, goosing your partner while she’s having a conversation with someone else, making her voice go up so high I finally recognise Nicola Bryant without her fake American accent. (by the way, if you’re looking for movies with asexual appeal, The Airzone Solution is not one of them.)

This is the face of a man who cannot unwatch The Airzone Solution.

Also, in a movie aimed at adults, no one can end in the same romantic relationship that they started in, which Barbie can avoid because the character of Ken cannot exist in a vacuum: Ken is Barbie’s boyfriend (the Barbie Vlogs/Dreamhouse Adventures timeline notwithstanding; especially given that there really is no question that in that particular timeline “Karbie is endgame” as the kids say.), all personality traits are related to this. If Ken appears in a Barbie movie, we know he already is Barbie’s boyfriend because Barbie is a wish fulfilment fantasy for young girls: As many rewarding careers as they like, a steady relationship with someone who adores them, a large group of friends, pretty much any material goods they can think of at their fingertips, and of course, magical powers. This, quite frankly, is why Barbie works as a woman somewhere in her twenties or thirties and why she doesn’t make as much sense when people try to age her down into a teenager. Seriously. That’s what Skipper is for. How can Barbie have a sixteen-year-old little sister if she herself is sixteen? It doesn’t make sense. But I’m getting off-topic.

This is a kids’ movie, so we establish that Ken and Barbie are dating by having them being adorable duelling with spoons over ice cream sundaes. And that’s why I’ve watched every Barbie movie ever made.

As I mentioned before, the subplot with Gracellia feeling cut out of Taylor and Carrie’s relationship feels very familiar to anyone whose friends distanced themselves for their all-important romance. And while this could happen to anyone, being dropped out of your alloromantic/allosexual friends’ lives when they discover dating is one of the most recognisable and most terrible parts of the asexual/aromantic experience. Does this mean that any of the characters present as asexual or aromantic? As usual, not necessarily. Gracellia clearly isn’t aromantic. But, also as usual, “I’ve been there! It sucks!” is a common step in headcanoning a character as ace. And even if they aren’t, it’s still relatable. We also see a happily married middle-aged couple, Reena and Graylen. Narratively, they exist to show that a marriage between a fairy and a human can work, but I could have seen way more of them being cute. But I like cute old married couples. Which may be weird for someone desperately looking for characters in any form of media who actually like their love interests and stay with them through the entire story instead of breaking up to add more drama. Anyone who has had their friends start dating knows that couples do not need to be breaking up to cause drama.

Graylen’s character design is almost exactly like the advisor in the Fairytopia series. You might not expect “older black fairy with gray muttonchops and friendly advice” to be a stock character in Barbie films, but there he is. Often, Barbie movies do not have a full mouth kiss in them. If there is, that is often because there’s a wedding ceremony. This is an example of the latter. The couple who isn’t married at the end, however, express their love by trying not to be married against their will. Still, no matter how relatable all of this is to an asexual, it does end in a very Midsummer Night’s Dream everyone paired off sort of way.

Entourage: 6/10

Raquelle- Those familiar with Life in the Dreamhouse already know Raquelle as Barbie’s self-proclaimed rival and a twisty bitch who lives for drama, making her one of the most enjoyable characters to watch. She has a different voice actress here, which can throw you a little. Especially if you’re trying to remember which My Little Pony voice actress has replaced her Life in the Dreamhouse voice actress.

Taylor- Ginger shoe fairy with a pink dress and a posh accent. Mostly responsible for the “tell Barbie the truth, go to Gloss Angeles, and rescue Ken” plan.

Carrie- Brunette purse fairy with a purple dress. Probably the slower of the two. That said, even though she supplies much of the comic relief, it doesn’t stem from her being stupid, it stems from her never-emptying purse of visual gags. By the end, Carrie’s jokes have started to grate on Raquelle:

“I think this time I’ve got a home run!”

“Enough! It’s going to be a baseball bat, right?”

Art Style: 5/10 I’ll admit this isn’t my favourite era of Barbie movies as far as animation is concerned. The faces aren’t as emotive as some of the other styles of animation. Raquelle for one makes up for this with full-body sarcasm. The architecture in Gloss Angeles is really the highlight of the film’s visuals: with large amounts of sparkling crystal and gold curlicues putting one in mind of a jewellery box with it’s contents spilling out. Particularly in the fight scene between Ken and Zane, where they recreate the “Duel” bit from that 90s Gladiators show where the contenders sand on an elevated platform and hit each other with what appear to be large fancy cotton buds. The only difference is that the contenders have wings. The architecture is shown off nicely in the “welcome to Gloss Angeles” montage. Unlike films like a Mermaid Tale, they did not feel the need to put dozens of puns in this sequence, they just put wings on everything they could think of—dogs, cats, handbags, coffee cups, shopping bags…

Plot: 7/10 The plot takes place within the “Life in the Dreamhouse” continuity: Barbara Roberts is a highly successful celebrity who lives in Malibu with her three younger sisters, is dating her longtime boyfriend Kenneth Carson, and has a close group of friends, including Rochelle who openly hates all of them (barring Ken) but remains part of the social circle.

A jealous fairy named Crystal feeds Princess Graciella, ruler of the fairies, a love potion which makes he fall in love with Ken. Graciella kidnaps Ken and declares she will marry him that very day. Zane, Graciella’s previous boyfriend and also a fairy, challenges Ken to three successive duels as Ken tries to back out of this. Barbie and Rochelle, rival film stars, come to Ken’s rescue, aided by two fairies who have been living in the human world disguised as humans and working as Barbie’s personal stylists.

The whole thing feels a lot like Barbie does Comedia del Arte, which I love. A love square that is resolved with two couples at the end, a love potion, over the top comedic figures, a lovesick woman declaring she will marry someone she just met, the upper class characters being saved by the complex planning of their clever servants; if you accept personal stylists as the modern equivalent of a tiring maid.

Zane is probably the main reason I keep thinking Comedia del Arte when I’m watching this. And it’s not just that he has the same accent as el Captaino (a stock figure in Comedia del Arte. The foreign captain who is usually a comedic rival for the young lover). In his first scene, he challenges Ken to three successive duels: “So, you think I am not bold enough for two duels? For that, I challenge you to a third duel!” “Why not? I wasn’t doing anything after the second one anyway.”

I can’t help but think about how the plot would have been different if princess Graciella had drunk the love potion three seconds earlier and fallen in love with Rochelle instead of Ken. “I have to save my frienemy who has just graduated from pain in the ass to total bitch.” would have been a very different story to “I need to save my boyfriend.”

The whole thing is a mess of consent and lack thereof. Crystal puts a spell on Graciella so she becomes obsessed with Ken, Graciella puts a spell on Ken so that a marriage proposal comes out of his mouth, much to his horror. And, if the whole “Comedia del Arte” thing hadn’t been running through my head the entire time, the fact that it pretty much starts and ends like A Midsummer Night’s Dream would have done it: Someone gives the queen of the fairies a love potion. She falls in love with the worst possible option. Humans get involved. The two romantic couples are sorted back into their ideal combination, the fairies convince the humans it was all really a dream. Even Carrie and Taylor reminding the audience of the secret at the end puts me in mind of Puck’s final speech.

The plot would have gotten a higher score if it hadn’t been for one plothole that seems to grow and shrink the more I examine it: Crystal was in love with Zane, but he was in love with Graciella. So she gets her hands on a love potion and uses it on… not Zane. I guess thought if he wasn’t in a relationship he would pick her on his own. Perhaps she wanted “real love” and was prepared to give her princess a chemically assisted version. We will never know.

Character design: 6/10

It’s not unusual for the cast to be wearing their best costumes in the final act of a Barbie film, but in this case this was achieved by putting most of them in fairly ugly outfits for most of the action.

The costuming was quite up to standards in the last fifteen minutes, but that leaves us with fifty seven minutes of unnecessary peplum to account for.

Raquelle and Barbie appear in formal gowns for the red carpet premiere:

Raquelle wears a one-shoulder purple and blue gown with a lettuce edged wrap skirt with a high-low hem, simple blue teardrop earrings, and some excellent shoes.

As usual, Raquelle is quickly upstaged by Barbie, who wears a ruby pink bodice with a peplum hem over a bright violet mermaid skirt. These are accessorised with rhinestone rose jewellery and silver pumps, although the shoes are only revealed when Raquelle rips the back of her dress up to her thighs.

While these gowns only show up in the first scene, they are easily the best looks they wear in the film, which is understandable as they are the dresses worn by the dolls. The doll look sort of reappears at the start of the final act, where Barbie and Raquelle transform into their winged form from the dolls, which is the tops from their red carpet gowns on cocktail dresses.

Barbie’s rose peplum top melts much more pleasingly into the three flounces of her miniskirt, while Raquelle has a flounced A-line miniskirt with the slightest edge of silver and pink petticoats peeking out the bottom. A silver ruffle accents her neckline and compliments her wide silver belt. The looks are finished in both cases with those curling vine heels that Mattel was putting on all the fairy dolls in the early aughts. This is such a breath of good taste after their “normal” outfits from the main part of the film.

After the premiere, the human characters really get the short end of the stick as far as costumes are concerned, and while I can see how it was important to make the humans visually distinct from the fairies, even when everyone is wearing “clip on” wings.

Raquelle spends most the movie in cobalt blue knee-length trumpet dress and a pink polka dot mini sweatshirt; which frankly should never have happened. The effect is completed with strappy silver heels which barely do not reach the end of leatherette black leggings. Sadly, the effect is “I dressed Barbie first and these are all the doll clothes I have left over”.

Barbie’s main look seems to be doing everything it can to keep a knee-length jean trumpet skirt with pink stitching from ruining the rest of the outfit. This is done with a pink and white striped tee and a half-sleeve black jacket. I don’t want to be too hard on this look, I’ll admit, because I can see my sister wearing something like that, but hopefully a more flattering cut of skirt.

But then again, I’ve always hated trumpet miniskirts; I hated them when they were in style, I hate them now that they aren’t, and I hate the fact I owned two because that’s what was for sale at Walmart in the mid 2000s and I hadn’t taken to making most of my own clothing yet. I called them “crotch ruffle skirts”. I was a bitch in high school.

Miss Roxelle appears very briefly in a tasteful white and gold two piece pencil skirt suit. As a fashion designer and the older fairy who they come to for help, it makes sense that she has a classy, mature vibe.

For the wedding, Ken gets a fashion upgrade from “we put him in a plaid shirt to make him look more heterosexual” (which was kind of ruined by the teal and metallic gold palette) to “one of those really tacky heterosexual wedding toppers” for the wedding scene. The horror of someone tied up and being forced to marry someone they barely know is somewhat diminished by the image of groomsmen elbowing each other and chuckling, “As usual, am I right, men?” That said, matching the pattern on his lapels to the pattern on his wings was a nice touch.

Crystal takes the purple/green slightly alternative route in villain costume design: fingerless gloves, cropped vest, stripy skirt, asymmetrical bob, purple leggings and black ankle boots.

And interestingly, she is the only fairy who presents as a girl who has dragonfly wings. I’m not going to say that this means Crystal is transgender, but I am definitely going to be thinking about that for a while. Part of me thinks, “Sure, why not, that’s probably going to happen in fairy society as much as human”, and part of me thinks, “Usually it’s the heroes or sidekicks in Barbie movies that get queercoded.” So let’s just move past Crystal’s boyish wings.

I spend a lot of time Graciellla is on screen trying to figure out how her hair is accomplished. Like most Barbie characters, it looks physically possible so that it can be recreated on a doll. It looks as if two French braids were started on her head, then the loose hair was tucked under itself, a little bit like a rolled chingon.

It probably is related to the fact her standard outfit is pretty basic: a petal pink strapless cocktail dress with a rose pink sash. It’s accessorised with a mess of pink rhinestone jewellery to set off her tiara.

Zane starts off in a fantasy style purple vest and striped jeans in a desaturated purple palette: The gold trim and collar pushes it towards the high fantasy fairies were meant to be, but it appears that halfway down the design they realised that they wanted it to be reflective of modern fashion and gave him pinstriped jeans. Don’t get me wrong, I love purple pinstriped jeans, I own purple pinstripe jeans, but they don’t go with his top. High fantasy and mid-2000s fashion are hard looks to marry, and I’m objecting to this example. Now, I could have forgiven him for wearing knee-high boots and cuffing his trousers to show them off, if they weren’t striped jeans and black combat boots. He’s half pirate and a half “I just came from a Green Day concert”. And he tries so hard to make it work. Wearing the exact same outfit in white and gold to his wedding was a choice. Once of several stupid choices made by Zane over the course of this movie.

Zane goes full Star Trek Next Gen for his combat jumpsuit: And honestly, I kind of love it. The gold and cobalt blue set each other off beautifully, the wide gold stripes down Zane’s legs, the elegantly tooled golden breastplate, the spirals of gold coming up his boots to the wide gold edging.

We actually see the slits the back of Zane’s jacket when he gets on his knees to propose to Graciella, and all of the feminine fairies (except for Crystal, as mentioned before) are wearing tube tops and off-the shoulder dresses so that they can dress without damaging their wings. But it appears that his wings are emerging from narrow slits in the back of his vest. Which might account for why the masculine fairies have smaller, narrower wings; more like a dragonfly than a butterfly. And it might also account for why Crystal has dragonfly wings and a cropped vest.

Finally, we have Taylor and Carrie, who ride the line between fantasy fashion and human fashion by wearing some fairly simple, “this looks like a doll” dresses. They also look far more like a “set” than any other characters because while their outfits look different, they are comprised out of the same basic elements: A dress with a fitted satin bodice, capped sleeves, and a flounced circle skirt accessorised with a short bead necklace, simple earrings, a headband and a side ponytail. The only real difference between them is their magical focuses:

Carrie, being a purse fairy, has a glittery doctor-style handbag; so called because the frame opens out like an old doctor’s visiting bag, not because like the Tardis it is bigger on the inside. Though both are true. Taylor has magenta glitter peek-toe platforms with knee-high laces with wings on the heel and rosettes on the toe. Raquelle admits, “If I had to trust my life to one pair of shoes, it would be those.” as Taylor chirps: “The more fabulous my shoes, the stronger my magic!” Me too, buddy, me too.

Music: 3/10

There is really only the main theme, Can You Keep a Secret? which plays over the opening and closing credits. It’s peppy, it’s happy, it’s not so stupid you’re grating your teeth, but ultimately it’s pretty forgettable. It serves its purpose and allows the story to move on. It plays again during the “welcome to Gloss Angeles” montage.

Animal companion: 4/10 Halfway through the movie, Pegaponies show up and help the humans with their difficulty in flying with clip-on wings. The pegaponies show up, transport the main characters to the palace, and are never heard from again. They do not talk or exhibit greater than animal intelligence, but however they do greatly advance the Rochelle and Barbie friendship plot by allowing the two of them to discuss how their relationship, and their animosity, formed. All pegaponies are recolours of the same mesh: a stocky, small horse with a striped mane and sparkly lace-like wings. The heroes all ride sidesaddle, partially because they’re all in dresses and partially because they all have wings themselves. While I usually subscribe to the less-is-more approach to pets in Barbie movies, in this case more might have been more.

Antagonists: 7/10 Zane- Since Barbie has Raquelle, it only makes sense that Ken gets someone who declares himself his rival as Ken protests that they aren’t actually pursuing the same goal. And like Raquelle, Zane is over the top and hilarious. He’s probably my favourite part of the movie. Graciellla – Crown Princess of Gloss Angeles, because “queen” sounds evil unless you’ve got a kid. While she isn’t exactly a bad person, she spends most of the film trying to force someone who isn’t in love with her to marry her. Actually, that is in fact pretty bad, but it is slightly mitigated by the fact she’s under a love spell. Remember kids, love spells aren’t consent! She spreads the awful cycle of “fairies don’t need no consent” by magicing a proposal out of Ken’s mouth inbetween his protestations to let him go. So, even though she changes her plan as soon as she’s not under a spell, she still has the whole “I’m an immoral fairy who really doesn’t care how much I mess up human lives” thing going on, which I also enjoy. Kids have to learn to fear the fey sooner or later. Crystal- From her arm-warmers to her stripes, here’s the soft grunge girl here to punish the preps for existing. Well, to punish everyone around her for the sorry state of her love life. Unrequited love stinks. Of course, what makes her a villain instead a tragic hero is that she is perfect content to ruin as many lives as it takes to get what she wants. Again, fairies tend to be amoral. Raquelle- Only an antagonist in that she remains Barbie’s self-proclaimed rival, and pain in the rear, even as she joins her quest to save Ken. To be fair, at no point does Raquelle stop thinking of herself as Ken’s friend. Partnering with a rival to save a mutual friend is probably Raquelle’s most antihero moment across all media she appears in. So while there’s a lot of antagonists, ranging from rivals to villains to “manic force of nature” I would have a difficult time saying, “You know what movie has some great antagonists? A Fairy Secret.” Although it definitely gets points for variety.

Doll Tie-in: 4/10

Comparing the doll commercial to the movie, I get the feeling that the people making the commercial hadn’t been given the plot to the movie before writing the script for the advertisement.

youtube

Personally, as someone who just genuinely likes dolls, I don’t like the moulded on bodices, since they limit the number of dresses you can put over them. I get the idea that the moulded on swimsuits are to give the dolls some vestige of dignity when the girls are leaving them undressed.

As for “transforming dresses”, the Fairy Secret dolls all have variations on the “skirt folds out into wings” gimmick.

This was also the period where the doll designers decided that plastic moulded curlicue laces going all up a doll’s shins said “fairy fashion”, and that, I’ll admit, I like.

At least the faces have better moulds than the characters in the films.

#Kittywitch has watched every Barbie film #Barbie #reviews #meta #Barbie: a Fairy Secret

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becumsh · 6 years

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YOUR FAVORITE NIECE FOR THE HEADCANON THINGY :D

*laughs diabolically* my time has finally come. Thank you so much, sO MUCH.

Headcanon A: what I think realistically

She has a slightly dysfunctional relationship with Richelieu which with other relationship might be considered as toxic, but it’s Richelieu family we are talking about. Mind games and manipulating is like their way of ‘hello, how was your day, by the way, if you leave for Carmelites I’m most likely going to die‘ showing affection and feeling the feels. The woman never re-married even though Richelieu’s been needling her for decades, I mean, it takes ovaries of steel and some character to make Richelieu give up. ‘Uncle, I will not leave for Carmelites if you leave me the fuck alone with all that ‘marry Gaston’ shit, ta’.

JUST TO PUT IT OUT THERE, I headcanon her as aromantic asexual, just so we get it out of the way. And I’m serious about it.

She’s probably the cleverest woman in the Court. She’s probably the most cleverest human, period, in the Court.

She’s the only person Richelieu ever truly listens to. She knows it and only uses it to her advantage when absolutely necessary. And Richelieu hates to upset her, which she ALSO knows, but rarely uses against him.

The head bitch in charge. The Rihanna and Beyoncé of 17th century France. Except, like, religious, and pious, and all.

Anne of Austria probably has a low-key crush on her, even though she’s *shudder* of Richelieu’s blood *toilet emoji*

It’s virtually impossible to hate her. Marie de Medici, the nemesis, the arch enemy of Richelieu couldn’t hate her until her dying days, can you believe???

she’s smol mum friend

The most Wholesome™️ person in France.

Headcanon B: what I think is fucking hilarious

Even though Marie-Madelaine is NICE, in the truest sense of the word, she’s the snarkiest. She’s very polite, but she’ll troll you and snark you, and you won’t even know what hit you.

Richelieu and Marie-Madelaine judge inane nobility at Court together. I just can picture them, like that, sitting in the chairs next to one another and exchange snide remarks about those inane noble people. ‘Oh, her dress…’ ‘I know, right… Have you seen what that Duke has done?’ ‘A true embarrassment…’ ‘I’ve never seen anyone embarrass himself more than he did that morning…’ ‘We, my dear, are surrounded by idiots.’ ‘and honestly, mood.’ I can’t, just Richelieu and his niece JUDGING everyone, a) it’s probably very likely canon b) it’s very funny.

OH EM GEE, she’s literally a female version of Kevin Cozner from B99!! She is!!!

Headcanon C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

I literally cannot fathom anything more angsty than actual history.

She believed until the very last moment that Richelieu is going to pull through. She was all like ‘The Carmelite nun had a vision that you are going to be fine!’

And then he felt like his end is near, so he held her hand and asked her to leave, because ‘My dear niece, I feel very bad, I think I’m going to die right about now, I can’t watch you being in pain, so please leave because I don’t want you to watch me die’ - END ME, I JUST, FUCK.

DON’T GET ME STARTED ON RICHELIEU’S TOMBSTONE, THIS IS LITERALLY ENOUGH TO GET MY TEARS FLOWING.

Also, it’s very sad to say, but Duchesse d’Aiguillon was never happy, and it really saddens me. She never got to marry the man she once loved, she was surrounded by Richelieu’s enemies, after his death she kept battling them or her relatives because of Richelieu’s will, and she never got to leave for the Carmelites even though that’s what she wanted the most. The woman just couldn’t get a break.

You know, I don’t actually need to write headcanons, I can just open up her biography and copy-paste it here because honestly? Headcanons pale in comparison to all that fucking angst that really happened.

………..she doesn’t like cats all that much?

Headcanon D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

*cracks her fingers* okay, you thought this answer is long, prepare for some real stuff, for some real long post because honestly, I can write an entire paper on this.

Concept: BBC Musketeers are not pussies and they are closer to history than to books (they, in real life, are neither). And while I’m at it, Dumas rectified Richelieu in the sequel and wrote an apology book that he never finished (i’m still pissed), and people STILL THINK that Richelieu is evil, when even Dumas himself realised that he was an idiot.

Marie-Madelaine actually makes an appearance, and it’s not some lame guest-starring for one episode, hella no, she’s a recurring character with some JUICY moments. I’m literally crying right now over the POTENTIAL

She’s played either by Jenna Coleman, Felicity Jones or idk, Romola Garai may be.

So, like in history, she’s a lady-in-waiting to Queen Anne, but in fact she’s obviously Richelieu’s spy (duh). But despite the fact that she’s Richelieu’s niece, Queen Anne is favourable of her and trusts her because Duchesse d’Aiguillon is nice. And beware of the nice ones because Duchesse d’Aiguillon is the only clever one in the Court. Basically everyone underestimates her because they all think of her as of a nice pious religious woman totally incapable of scheming which gives her an ample opportunity to observe and spy on everyone. She’s very unassuming and everyone thinks Richelieu stuck the Duchess in her position so she can marry someone rich, but we all know the truth.

Cue evening chats with Richelieu, discussing their day and the idiocy of the nobility. Also I want some quality family moments between them, both in Palais Cardinal and in public.

She’s probably quite friendly with Milady and has serious talks about how Richelieu treats his favourite assassin, but it’s mostly in vain, but she’s getting there, baby steps.

Treville and Richelieu, mid-rant shouting session, cut to the niece in the background, low-key rolling her eyes.

Ninon de Larroque’s secret women club SUCKS compared to Duchesse d’Aiguillon’s book club, Richelieu probably wanted to burn her because her club is an abomination lbr, also we’d get Pierre Corneille.

Let’s be real, the whole Queen’s assassination idiocy would have never happened if the Duchesse was in the show. She’d probably nick some letters from Anne to her brother, thus bringing her downfall or whatever, you know, doing it the cool way, not the BBC lame way.

The evening of the day when s1e10 happened? ‘The Queen is with the musketeers’ child.’ ‘Yeah, I know.’

S2, ooooooh, Richelieu faking his death/Spanish prison style/whatever of your choice, Rochefort targeting her in order to lure him out? Or, even better, musketeers doing something to her because they find out she knows about the parentage of the Dauphin? I can write an entire another post on that. Treville and the Duchesse bonding at the Court because they are the only two sane people there???

S3 never happened. Or it’d be La Rochelle and Buckingham business, SOMETHING INTERESTING.

Literally everything I wrote is useless and boils down to LET THE DUCHESSE ON THE MUSKETEERS BBC, STOP EMBARRASSING YOURSELF.

#madame de combalet #s2 rewrite

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fantasyprojector-blog · 7 years

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The Best of Greek Mythology

Zeus: King of the Furies

It is common knowledge that if a white van pulls up to a curb where children are playing and the person driving the van offers them candy, that the children should not take the candy. That they should in fact, run and call the police. So with this in mind, picture this: instead of a white van it’s a white bull that smells like flowers and instead of children it’s a group of beautiful maidens picking flowers or some other bull shit pastime like that. Of course these maidens aren't as smart as your average child nowadays and went to go see this Chanel smelling bull. Here is where the proverbial candy comes into play, the bull lowers himself in front of Europa, who was the sexiest of the maidens to which she then climbs onto his back only to find SURPRISE BITCH! It’s the fuck boi, king of the gods himself, Zeus. Who then galivants off into the sea with her on his back in a successful maiden-napping to his home base Crete. To pass the time on their journey Zeus tells Europea of all the strong, powerful, male children she will bear for him. Sounds like a great time.

Aphrodite, Ares, Hephaestus: The classic love triangle

We've all seen the horrible teen angst filled romantic movies with a shy, courageous, beautiful female lead and her two love interests: the bad boy McHottie pants and the nerdy best friend. Well this is the OG love triangle. Aphrodite was married off to Hephaestus (against her will might I add). It was a train wreck marriage: they both slept around and were producing demigod offsprings left and right. Even though Hephaestus was whipping his dick out every chance he got, he still expected Aphrodite to be faithful. So after he found out that she was playing “hide the spear” with the God of War everything went to shit. Instead of handling the situation like a mature adult, Hephaestus decided to wait until the two lovers were involved in an intense round of twister and then capture them in a unbreakable net. After the two were captured Hephaestus invited all of the other gods and goddess to come witness this shameful act however, much to Hephaestus’s dismay, only the male gods showed up so they could get some new images for their mental spank bank.

The battle for Athens

“Two households, both alike in dignity, In fair Verona, where we lay our scene, From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.” What is more embarrassing than see your ex in public? Losing a contest for a city to them. As Shakespeare so nicely put it, losing a city to them in a contest. Athena and Poseidon had an ancient grudge: they used to date and then Poseidon couldn't keep it in his pants, so Athena cursed his baby mama and it was one colossal mess of epic proportions. Any way onto the actual story. After Athena and Poseidon called it quits, this snake dude, who was the mayor of a small town in Greece decided to hold a contest for patronage of his city. Athena and Poseidon rose to this challenge to prove their worth. Poseidon gave the city a river but instead of a freshwater river, he gave them a saltwater river. While Athena gave the city a big ass olive tree. The people chose Athena as the patron and named their city Athens. So Poseidon, in the spirit of good sportsmanship cursed Athens to forever have water shortages. The dickhead.

Apollo’s Sexuality Apollo had many many lovers as he was a freewheeling bisexual but two of his most famous love stories are that of Daphne and Hyacinthus. Daphne was river nymph, whose sexual orientation leaned towards asexual aromantic side of the spectrum. Unfortunately for her, she caught the eye of Apollo, who then continuously tried to get into her toga. One day when Apollo got to close Daphne said, “Fuck it, turn me into a tree,” and thus she became a laurel tree, much to Apollo’s chagrin. On the other side of the sexuality color wheel, there was Hyacinthus, who was the ultimate closeted, “no homo” frat boy bro, who was everything a bisexual Sun God could ask for. After their bromance turned into romance, Hyacinthus managed to catch the eye of an uber gay twink Wind God, he soon became jealous of the bro-romance between Hyacinthus and Apollo, so he cursed a frisbee to kill the frat boy bro. So the next time the lovers went to play frisbee golf it got bloody. Distraught by the death of his love, Apollo fully realized his kink for flora and fauna and turned Hyacinthus into a flower.

Artemis and the peeping tom

Nothing is more deadly than a woman scorned who knows magic and wields a bow and arrow. This is a PSA for any men who think it’s okay to watch women change, shower, or do anything in a violating way. Artemis was just enjoying a lovely outdoor bath surrounded by nymphs, when she was realized she was being watched by a Brock Turner like fucker. So, instead of getting all upset, she decided to turn him into a stag, to which she the proceeded to shoot full of arrows while her hunting dogs attacked him. Seems perfectly reasonable to me.

Taken: Staring Demeter, the Goddess of Agriculture (and One Pissed off Mother)

What would you do if your child was stolen from you? Obviously you would throw all other duties to the side and and try to find your lost child. This is essentially what happened to Demeter. Hades fell in love with Persephone and then he decided to kidnap her ass the way down to hell or the underworld, whatever. Demeter then went into full Liam Neeson mode trying to find her daughter. Eventually, after several explosions, a few torture sessions, and the death of many, many crops, Demeter finally found her daughter in hell. While the epic movie was happening above, the romcom of a century was happening below. Persephone actually ended up falling in love with Hades and soon became the best Queen hell has ever seen. Unfortunately, no one told Demeter, that so after Demeter and Hades had a Jason Bourne showdown the conflict was resolved. Persephone now splits her time between the mortal world and the world of the dead.

Gods Zeus: Remember that perverted relative that everyone has? That’s Zeus. He's the king of the gods, sky, and rape. He can’t keep it in his pants and he likes to keep it in the family.

Poseidon: Fuck boi to the max! He's the kind of guy that you just want to punch his teeth in. Not only is he a major douchebag, but he's also God of the Seas, so you know that he's the champion of the “hold my beer,” challenge that results in thousands of sailors deaths.

Hades: Think the weird, quiet scene kid, but with a hint of over dramatic death metal thrown into the mix. God of the underworld, dead, and riches, no wonder he still listens to MCR; he has an aesthetic to maintain.

Ares: He’s the jock that’ll fuck your girl, wreck your car, and destroy you in beer pong, not care or stop when he gets caught and he always seems to be getting into fights. He’s the guy that comes back to his old high school to cheer on the football team and then run down to the field to show them how it’s REALLY done. God of War, my dick is too big for this condom, the ladies (ugh gross), and Axe Body Spray.

Hephaestus: Remember all of the sexually repressed nerds in high school? The ones somehow grew up to be super successful but then turned around and became total ass hats with no respect for women? That is this guy right here. He currently holds the title for ugliest god ever, a title which he has held onto for a several millennia now. God of the forge, technology and general misogyny.

Apollo: The OG Dorian Gray. God of the Sun and flower crowns

Goddesses

Artemis: Ask her about her feminist agenda. Do it. I dare you to. Goddess of the Hunt, pussy power, and badassery.

Athena: She's the valedictorian, student council president, and she slaughters everyone in PE. Goddess of smart people and military victory.

Demeter: She is the mama bear that you don’t fuck with unless you want her to fuck with your allergies. She also knows how to have a good time because wine and will feed you when you come over.

Persephone: ‘But mmmmooooommmmmm, I love him,”. Think of the sweetest person you know and then give them pink throwing stars. Goddess of spring time and ima fuck you up and smile innocently while doing it.

Hera: Think crazy southern belle pageant mom, who forces religion onto her children and washes it down with sweet tea. Goddess of the home and picture perfect families.

Aphrodite: Goddess of love, beauty, and all things sexy. This is the person you would come to for advice, because she knows her way around the bedroom and men's or people's hearts. I actually don’t know her sexuality.

#greek mythology #rewriting history #this is for a class #college

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i-am-adlocked · 7 years

Text

[soulmate au] Everything is Grey

The world is black and white until one meets the other half. FRIENDSHIP, FLUFF, TRAGEDY By CA Hawkins WORD COUNT: 5701

AN: Here it is, an original story by moi. Idea came from Tumblr tho.

I’ve always found it so amusing when the coloured-eyed describe colours to the greyed-eyed. You meet and go with people who complain and look around for clothes to match their shoes, their eyes, their shirt... and you understand why: because they can see colours—because they’ve met their soulmates.

I had always envied them.

Not everyone has met their soulmates but had still ended up with the people they love. Some met their soulmates with their best friends. Some romantic soulmate relationships end due to the fact that they are destined to be together platonically.

The universe may say who your soulmate is—but you can never be sure what your fate together will be.

Speaking of fate, I have four best friends whom I love with all my heart. I don’t think they’ve met their soulmates yet either.

Two girls and two boys.

We all met about six years ago when we were all chosen from our university for some government research I cannot talk about in public... but even though we had finished the research after two quick months (much to the surprise of our superiors), the five of us had kept in touch and we had always spent some time together—mostly drinking in a pub.

Eventually, we all moved to the same city since we all love it here—in London. None of us have close relatives anyway and so we consider ourselves as a family.

Lawrence is a quiet kind of bloke, but he always keeps everyone smiling. He drives us everywhere and he seems to know every pub in the city—which is great! He is a bit shy with the ladies, though. I don’t know why he’s so insecure... He’s the most knowledgeable one in the group and he’s also incredibly sweet.

Sweeney is a rather sarcastic snob and a bit of an arsehole (maybe not a bit) but we keep him in our little family—only because he is extremely loyal and he will, apparently, die in our name. Of course, we also love him... unfortunately.

Felicity is loud. She loves cracking jokes and she loves playing guitar. She’s a heavy drinker but never gets a hangover—flirty but has great integrity—rather brilliant in her own explicable way, and a bit self-centred at times, but would also sit beside you all night if you need it.

Scarlett, my best friend, isn’t very talkative. She most likely has a lot of secrets and is definitely the most mysterious of us all. Oh she’s the most brilliant person I had ever met, and I don’t think there’s anything she can’t do... Oh, wait, she was a bloody horrible flatmate (but she moved in with Lawrence four years ago because his flat is closer to her work than mine)... and a bit of a lazy git at times, but that’s her in a nutshell.

Still, despite their differences, I’m glad that they were all rather happy for me when I told them that I can finally see colours.

They ask me what it was like, and how it feels like.

“Well... it’s hard to explain,” I answer. Ironically, that’s the answer I hated the most when I asked colleagues before, back when I was greyed-eyed. Well, it is hard to describe.

“How did it happen?” Lawrence asks, interrupting. He always knows what’s the right thing to say or ask. That’s why he’s our group’s leader so to speak.

I tell them the day I first met my boyfriend.

The first colour I saw was his beautiful brown eyes. I knew then what my favourite colour is: Brown... like the colour of chocolate (I’m still giddy that I can finally understand people when they associate colour with descriptions).

I tell them that Scarlett and I were heading to the pub—just the two of us to hang out—and we decided to go through the park for a shortcut. When I got distracted by a really good violinist who was performing in the middle of the park, Scarlett decided to be a bitch and ditched me... again.

I decided to ask the man nearest to me if he had seen a woman wearing a scarf. When he turned around and looked at me, that’s when the colours exploded in front of me.

I bet we both looked liked two idiot boys, standing in the middle of the park, mouths agape, looking at the world for the first time. Well, to be honest, we kind of did look at the world for the first time—in colour.

“So, this is what the sky looks like,” he whispered to himself, looking up at the blue colour of the sky everyone talked about.

“And this is what green looks like,” I whispered back, looking down at the grass, or is it green? There are so many colours.

I tell my friends that I almost cried that day—that i was so overwhelmed with the plethora of colours and the emotion that I’m seeing the world for the first time. I thought I was going to hyperventilate with happiness.

“God, this is so beautiful,” I whispered to the stranger.

“Howard Ainsley.” He smiled at me, offering his hand.

“Winter Elingston,” I replied, breathing out.

I was talking to my soulmate, for goodness’ sake! I never knew this would happen in such a boring frustrated day. To think that I was merely going to ask a stranger for directions, then boom fucking colours everywhere.

I will never forget that look of surprise on his face.

“Nice to finally meet you,” he told me with a sweet foolish grin.

“Likewise,” I replied, smiling sweetly.

The universe... the colours are so... beautiful...

“You’re lucky,” Felicity comments after the silence when i’m done telling them the story.

“I know,” I reply honestly.

I look around the pub—the flashing lights on the dance floor that used to be only bright lights—the number of glasses on the shelves in different shades of the window—the plethora of different shirts in different colours... I might never get used to seeing them...

The world is beautiful—fucked up, of course, but still beautiful.

O N E Y E A R L A T E R

I’ve been with Howard for a long long time and I had been asked on what my favourite colour is. For a long time, I’ve always wanted to be asked about this. now, I can never stop feeling the happiness of the realisation that I am so used to this question.

To the colour-eyed, this question becomes a part of their normalcy and it can be easy to forget that not all people are coloured-eyed.

That is my mistake.

“What’s your favourite colour?” I accidentally ask Scarlett, who is spending a week in my flat because I insisted her to.

As much as I love Howard visiting me in my lonely flat, I still miss my best friend making her own mess everywhere. It’s boring not to clean up blood (borrowed from the hospital) on the floor and other internal organs cluttered around the kitchen (borrowed from somewhere Scarlett won’t tell me about).

My thoughts about my best friend dissipate at the glare she is giving me. Realising what I had just asked, I shrink in embarrassment.

“Oh God, sorry,” I say, blushing.

“It’s quite alright,” she says in her usual cool tone, but I notice a slight edge in it. “You’re already coloured-eyed. It’s your version of normal, of course. Alas, for me, still, everything is grey,” Scarlett continues, gesturing around in a theatrical manner, “and it probably will for a long long time—forever even.” She shrugs.

Pity. It’s a shame she can’t exactly see how beautifully blue her eyes are. Before, I’ve always thought they were so pale—almost white... but no, they’re startlingly blue. As for me, I just found out I’ve always had dark sea-green eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I mutter again.

“Elingston, stop apologising,” she says sternly. I chuckle to myself because she always loves calling us by our first names—something about not being too close to us, but obviously failing.

In our group of scientists (whom I know consider as family), Scarlett is the most analytically creative between the five of us. Sure, I may be the one who always questions everything; Sweeney may be the one who conjures up the suggestions; Felicity may be the one who never gives up; and Lawrence may be the one who always finds the answer...

...but Scarlett is all of us rolled into one, but instead of everything being a matter of hopeful possibility, it becomes a matter of definite probability—and that’s one of the reason why she’s my best and most trusted friend...

...and inside that façade of hers, I know she is also the most emotional and caring person in the planet—which is probably why she hides her emotions well—too well... No one knows her like we do. The four of us can see through all those clever lies. She’s the most human of us all—probably a side-effect of being nearly all-knowing...

...since emotion and humanity are a part of that brain of hers... but she never shows it. Still, we all assume she’s both aromantic and asexual. Come to think of it, she never says anything about herself much.

I wonder what else she hides in that metaphorically huge head of hers.

Looking at her right now, lying down on the ground, relaxing with her arms being used as her own pillow, it made me think. I just realised why I would ask such a question—her favourite colour.

It was a niggling sensation at the back of my head—something we have all seen but never really observed enough... and I want to smack my head silly because it is something so drastically obvious:

Scarlett can always match her clothes.

“Scar, may I ask you something?” I start again.

She hums in reply, closing her eyes. “Sure, what is it?” she asks me in the usual bored and sleepy tone of hers.

I observe her once more—on the ground as we listen to some Chopin—wearing her usual beige dressing gown which matches the colour of her brown silk pyjamas. The fact that I can always see her in one of two colours ever since I became coloured-eyed just surprises me.

There was not a day Scarlett wore anything mismatched. I had seen the others wear mismatched shirts, coats, waistcoats, trousers, shoes, and even socks—kinda embarrassing really—and it’s all because they’re all greyed-eyed.

Oh my God. Has she already met her soulmate but never told us?

“How do you match your clothes?” I ask.

“Pardon?” she asks, opening her eyes to look at me confusedly. “I don’t think I heard you correctly.”

“I asked you how you matched your clothes.”

She sits up almost immediately at that. “I don’t... Winter, you know, I feel like you’re starting to offend me by rubbing the fact that you’re coloured-eyed to my face. I don’t care about colours or the fact that I’m greyed-eyed. Are we clear on that? When is the attempt to brag ever going to end?”

“I’m not trying to brag!” I exclaim.

“Then, pray tell, what are you doing if not insulting me? Because we both know I will always have greyed-eyed.”

“I’m just trying to ask how—”

“Yes?” she interrupts.

“—how in the world do you manage to always have your clothes matched?” I ask her calmly.

She lies back down on the floor with a sigh, returning to her previous position. “That’s it?”

“Yes.”

“I buy everything in one set of colour every time I shop for clothes. The lady in the shop always guides me with the colours and I trust her judgment. Their matching colours are all in a certain order in my wardrobe so they are all in track to match their colours,” she explains. “Simple, really.”

“In what order are they organised?” I ask sceptically.

“Their chronology,” she answers, “of when I bought them. I even had the colours labelled, thanks to the lady there. With the help of society and information from the internet, I always know which colour to match together, and which colour never to match with.”

I nod to myself. “You do wear red almost all the time though.”

“As people had told me,” she answers plainly. “It is the first set of clothes in the wardrobe that I am able to reach easily. It’s not a surprise I always wear them. Plus, the texture of the clothing is better, and people compliment me on how it looks good on me, and how the colour makes me stand out more. I figured it best to wear them the most.”

Seems fair to me and I actually agree with what she said... but...

“Well... why the effort? Why would you go through all that? Why do you have to match the colours of your clothes? I mean, what’s the point? You can’t even see it...” I regret my words immediately after I said them.

Before I could apologise, however, Scarlett answers, “I may not see it but those who see colours do and I do not want to look moronic in front of them, to be quite honest. Imagine if you would see me in such atrocious colours... People say mismatched clothes could be unappealing,” she continues. “I don’t want people to see me as anything less than I want to exhibit.”

“So, you’re saying... you went through all that trouble for the sake of fashion?”

“Yes,” she answers plainly, “are we done now? I want to nap.”

Right... Maybe I’m wrong.

T W O Y E A R S L A T E R

Scarlett has already been told about my new announcement but she still insists on pretending not to know as we gather everyone in our favourite pub.

“So, why are we here?” Sweeney asks. “What’s the occasion?”

“Why would you all think there’s an occasion?” I ask.

“Come on, Winter... You were practically screaming on the phone,” Felicity observes, smiling amusedly.

“And we never come here on a Tuesday,” Lawrence points out. “So what’s the big news that can’t wait until Friday?”

“God, there’s absolutely no secret that can pass by here, is there?” I sigh, laughing. “Guess there’s no point in delaying anything—I’m moving in with Howard,” I announce.

Howard had spent a lot of time with these idiots. They seem to get on pretty well and thankfully, the others love him—which is actually a huge relief to me. Then again, Howard is my soulmate—my other half. Of course, if my friends love me, it’s only natural that my friends would love my other half, too.

Felicity starts shaking in happiness. Lawrence congratulates me with a pat on the shoulder. Sweeney gets the first round. Scarlett just sits there, looking out the window, wearing her signature blood red shirt and blood red scarf—but she said she doesn’t see colours so maybe it’s just her usual clothes and not her signature colour. For me, I’d say it still is.

“God, when’s he proposing?” Lawrence asks. “I think it’s about time, don’t you?” he asks me.

“Really, Law? Marriage? You may be a romantic but I’m not. Let’s focus on moving with him first before all that.” I laugh as they do.

He playfully punches me in the arm. “Come on! You’re moving in with your soulmate! And you’ve been together for about—what?—two years already? Of course, that’s going to lead to a proposal! That’s worth twenty rounds of drinks!”

“I suppose so.” I laugh.

“God, I’d kill for that opportunity. You’re so lucky. What does it look like again? The world in colour?” Felicity asks for the nth time.

“You know that I find it hard to explain. You feel colours. We can’t explain it... You can’t explain the unexplainable,” I say. “Even Science can’t explain this.”

“Fuck Science,” Felicity mocks.

“Feli, you’re a genius architects,” Lawrence points out.

“Fuck Science,” she repeats, laughing. “Speaking of which... Hey, Scar!”

Scarlett hums in answer, turning away from the window. What is she looking at out there anyway?

Oh...

Fireworks...

Colourful fireworks...

“Did you ever wonder what colours look like?” Felicity asks the others.

Just then, Sweeney arrives with the drinks and after being told by Felicity of what we are talking about, starts spewing stories about who he tried to imagine what they look like and ended up with a large headache.

“No,” Scarlett answers simply, dismissing us all by looking out the window again. With Scarlett, you never know what personality she has. She can be sweet, loud, or never talk at all. Her personality is all jumbled.

We all look at Lawrence who shifts uncomfortably on his seat. “I never really thought about it.”

“It must be beautiful,” Felicity moans. “Come on, colours! When will I ever see ya?!” she groans.

“You’ll meet your soulmate, Feli,” Sweeney says. “Too bad it isn’t me.” He winks at her. Felicity laughingly hits Sweeney on the back of his head.

Lawrence clears his throat, looking down at the table as if he is in some sort of trance. “Colours are amazing.” Everyone stares at him and he finally looks up, clearing his throat. “Theoretically, for us greyed-eyed, of course.” He whispers, “They say colours are so beautiful.” He smiles at the table once more.

Then I finally notice that Lawrence is wearing a blood red tie that matches with his brown three-piece suit.

M O M E N T S L A T E R

"Law, can I ask you something?” I ask Lawrence who had volunteered to drive me back home to Howard.

“Sure, anything.” He smiles briefly before turning his eyes back on the road.

“The colours of your clothes match,” I blurt out before I stop myself.

“That’s... not really a question, Winter,” he points out.

He didn’t deny nor confirm it—which means it’s worth investigating.

“I know... but what I’m asking is: who’s your soulmate? and why didn’t you tell us that you’re already coloured-eyed? and how long?” I ask him.

Lawrence looks at me briefly before sighing. “Swear on your life you won’t tell anyone.”

I nod. “Yes, I promise.”

“Not even Scar,” he points out because I always tell her everything.

“Yes, of course, I promise.”

He nods absentmindedly before smiling. “Well, she doesn’t want to be known. To be honest, I don’t want to expose anything about her either but... obviously, we’ve met. We’re both well aware about us being soulmates and we, er, always meet in secret and that’s when the fun usually begins.” He smiles.

“Do you love each other?”

“Well, if we didn’t, we wouldn’t be married now, would we?”

“WHAT?!” I yell out. “Married? What do you mean married? We haven’t even met her and you’re saying that you’re bloody married?! MARRIED?!”

“In secret, yeah. It was her idea to keep the marriage a secret, and I agree. No one knows about it and we love it that way... but it was my idea to get married. I proposed the usual way—fancy dinner, and with a ring, of course. Still, we always go to fancy restaurants so I didn’t look suspicious... Completely took her by surprise—which is saying something because she doesn’t get surprised easily.” Lawrence laughs.

"How long have you seen colours?" I ask.

"Eight? Nine years?" Lawrence shrugs.

"And how long have you been married?" I ask again.

He smiles. "Seven years."

"Jesus. That long?" I ask and Lawrence nods.

“Honestly, the moment I saw colours, neither of us said anything. I actually thought—no—feared that I was the only one who saw the colours but that was logically impossible... Soulmates are shared bonds so—of course—it had to be her... I remember she was wearing good but mismatched clothes—the look on her face...” He laughs. “I think that was the only time I ever saw her be horrified with herself... but coincidentally, we were wearing the same shirt colour.”

“Does she live with you?”

“No,” he laughs. “That would be hard since Scar lives with me. I’m just glad my soulmate is not the jealous type and she completely trusts me. Scar doesn’t know about her, of course, but our relationship works. My wife and I may be an odd couple but we work—beautifully.”

“You won’t stop talking.” I point out since Lawrence is usually quiet.

“You have no idea how long I’ve always wanted to talk about her. Obviously, I can’t say her name because she’ll kill me if she finds out but, at least, I could say things about her. Granted, I agreed with the secrecy and I love it but... I love her so much, you know? It’s hard not to say anything.” His voice dies down before he whispers, “She humbles me. I’ve always thought I was the smartest person in the room all the time... but then there’s her. I was so different. She made me a better man.”

“You've known your soulmate for a long time; you’re lucky.” I smile.

“Not always—I see you, Felicity, and Sweeney wear hideously coloured clothes all the time. Now, that’s unlucky... although... Scar always wear matched clothes, right? Did you notice that?” he asks me.

“Yeah... yeah, I did.”

“Do you think she met her soulmate? Did she tell you something about it?” he asks me. “She wouldn’t tell me.”

“Well, she told me she didn’t.”

“That’s a load of bull,” he exclaims.

“She says she buys everything in a colour set,” I explain and Lawrence nods, thinking deeply.

“Shame. I was kind of hoping there was something more to that. Imagine Scarlett finding her soulmate? She’d be furious—considering she's not interested about those kinds of things.”

“I don’t know... I still think she’s hiding something,” I add.

“Whatever it is, she will tell us eventually... I hope...” He laughs and I join him because it’s Scarlett. She won’t say shit.

T H R E E Y E A R S L A T E R

Tonight, Howard and I cuddle on the sofa as we watch telly when a banging on the door breaks our little Saturday ritual.

My husband stands up to go greet the person on the door. I close the telly and hear some mumbling before a pair of footsteps echoes through the corridor, making its way to the living room.

To my surprise, Scarlett enters. Her clothes are dripping wet from the rain outside—making her body shiver... but that’s not what surprised me.

Scarlett looks lost—scared beyond relief—and she has tears as well as scratches on her eyes.

“I’ll go make a cuppa,” Howard whispers, leaving us.

Scarlett’s legs folds under her and she sits down on the floor before bawling like a child. I don’t know what to do. I’ve never comforted Scarlett before because she never cried in front of me before.

"Scar, what is it?" I try to ask, crouching down in front of her and putting a tentative hand on her shoulder.

Her only answer was a mere moan of pain. My eyes tear up at the sight of our most calculated analytical mind suffering under the maddening curse of being human.

I quickly text everyone to meet up at our house. Howard quietly places the tray with the tea on the table and stands on the side, giving both of us some space.

My attention goes back to Scarlett who whispers one thing, “Can’t...” and she cries out in pain once more.

I try my best to comfort her and Howard actually replaces me for the moment because I’m not really doing a good job with comforting her.

"Oh God, what happened?" Felicity asks when she barges in after being greeted by Howard, crouching down beside me. Sweeney quickly sits beside Scarlett and pulls her into a crushing hug, unlocking more of her emotions and making her cry harder, clutching Sweeney’s jacket tight.

I stand up, pulling Felicity with me, and whisper as to not be heard by Scarlett. "How'd you get here?" I ask Felicity first.

"Sweeney and I were both in the pub when you called," she answers. "God, what do we do?"

"Where's Law?" I ask Felicity. "If anyone knows Scar's limits, it's Lawrence."

"I've been trying to call him; no answer," Felicity whispers, shaking at the sight of a bawling Scarlett. "God, it's hard to see Scar this way. Did she tell you what happened?"

"I don't know." I panic. "She never cries in front of anyone—not to my knowledge, anyway," I say. "One of the two greatest minds in the generation—crying senseless. Fuck, I don’t know what to do. I’m terrible with these kind of things."

We both turn back around when Scarlett suddenly yells out. The three of us are at a dead end. We don't know what to do. Seeing Scarlett cry is new for all of us. We may be the chosen ones for the government's research due to our combined intelligence but we are still at a lost with dealing with human emotions.

"Gone!" Scarlett yells.

"What's gone?" Felicity asks her gently, sitting down on Scarlett's other side..

"Gone," Scarlett whispers, leaning on Sweeney as he cradles her quietly.

"What's gone, Scar?" I ask.

Scarlett whimpers in reply and more tears fall from her eyes.

"It's okay. We've got you," Sweeney whispers, his hand going through Scarlett's hair to comfort her.

We all keep quiet.

Too bad I didn't observe enough. I would have seen Scarlett wearing a black left shoe and a brown right shoe.

M U C H L A T E R

Lawrence's funeral was held quietly.

Car accident.

"Lawrence Alcott was a good man—the best man," Sweeney says, his voice trembling. "He's my best mate. I still don't—I don't know why this has to happen. I'm an arsehole and I had some words at him too but he stuck by me. He's a really good man and I don't know why this has to—I'm just—I'm really angry at him for—for leaving." Sweeney wipes his tears angrily and doesn't bother to finish his speech and walks away. He and Sweeney were inseparable—except to death, apparently.

Felicity walks in front, "Lawrence is... was a kind man—the most generous person you could ever hope for. With him, I could see colours. I may still be greyed-eyed, but Law here—Law gives out his own colours." Felicity laughs. "He may be the smartest man on Earth but he is also an idiot—our idiot. We love him so much and this is really unfair. Law keeps us all together. He's our glue. We could easily fall apart without him. This is—this is just so hard."

I walk in front, trembling. Felicity and Sweeney smile at me despite both having tears in their eyes. Howard gives me a small encouraging smile—my rock. Scarlett is still stone-faced. She has been quiet all day—all of us, really, but her quietness is too loud, even for me. She had been screaming inside that head of hers and every one of us can hear it.

"Lawrence saved my life countless of times, in many different ways. He's our leader. Now, we're afraid we'd be lost without him. He has been more like a brother to me than a friend, to be honest... and I love him like one would treat family. Bit of a reckless idiot, yes, but he was young—too young and I can't believe I am standing here right now." My voice breaks and I pause. Sniffing, I say what I always tell Lawrence, "Law, you idiot," probably for the last time.

I go back to my seat before I drop there and then and start screaming.

Scarlett walks slowly in front—not a tear or emotion in her eye. Facing Lawrence's coffin, she sighs and turns to stare at everyone. The three of us have been waiting for her speech since she had not said a word since this morning and we all wish to know what she's about to say.

"Of all the ways Lawrence could have died, it had to be a car accident." She laughs humourlessly. "The two of us had talked about it once. He said he wanted to die a tragic but unforgettable death. I knew he was talking about dying in a theatrical manner from a gun shot or something heroic like that—something worth writing in our history books... but who knew that even with something as ordinary as a car crash, he still died tragically in an unforgettable way—guess he still got what he wanted, then."

Scarlett breathes in as she looks at Lawrence's direction again.

"Lawrence is someone I hold very dear to me... and I never say that plainly. He is my first friend—the first person to talk to me. The first thing he told me was, 'If you ever take my job from me, I'll cut you in half.'" Everyone manages to laugh at that. "The last thing he ever told me is something I cannot say for I wish to cherish it for as long as I am living. He's the best person I have ever met and I will always keep him in my heart—and yes, I do have one."

We all look at her, and she smiles at us.

"As you can see from my friends' faces, my words aren't usual. I would never say things like this about anyone, but there is always one exception with every rule. Lawrence will always be my one exception. You'd expect that from me, but I will always think of him as he once said he'd do for me if I ever died before him: Perfectly impossible to exist."

Scarlett insists on digging Lawrence's grave herself.

She doesn't let anyone help her. She practically growled at Sweeney when he tried taking the shovel away from her... but it doesn't matter. Scarlett is a strong woman. She can do this. It is an intimate act—to bury your loved one, and Lawrence was her best friend.

Sweeney, Felicity, and I stand behind Scarlett, looking down at Lawrence's grave as everyone else goes home after the funeral service.

"Everything is grey," she whispers, tears on her cheeks.

"Grey?" Sweeney asks.

Scarlett nods. "Grey," she whispers, gesturing around.

The three of us look at each other, surprised with the revelation.

"He's your soulmate, then?" Felicity asks.

"And husband," Scarlett answers.

"You're married?!" The two shrieks. I give them pointed looks to let Mrs. Scarlett Alcott grieve. I mouth to them that I'll tell the whole story later.

She laughs for a moment. When she stops, she adds, "I'm pregnant, too," with a shaking voice. She whimpers with her words, opening her large coat and placing her hand on a bump where a child is brewing.

"He was so happy..." she cries.

This is all new for us but we don't speak.

She continues almost hysterically with her voice unusually high-pitched, "W-we were going to... to... finally tell you all—about us... about this," she says, gesturing at her eyes. "We were going to surprise you all by... by going to the pub t-together with... with a b-baby in my arms and our wedding bands on. The plan was so perfect."

Her voice breaks at the end and she starts crying again, bending down as if she was punched in the gut as she finally lets go of her bottled up emotions. Sweeney and Felicity are beside her almost immediately, helping her stand up.

She takes something out from her pocket. A gold band wedding ring and a gold ring with a ruby (probably the engagement ring) and places them on her left ring finger.

"At least we finally wore the wedding rings outside the comforts of our isolation at the same time," she whispers weakly. "He's wearing it right now—his own wedding band... My dead husband is wearing his wedding ring."

Scarlett suddenly falls down on her knees and screams out.

Felicity, Sweeney, and I all kneel down with her and hug her.

"Winter..." Scarlett whispers.

"Yes?" I ask.

"Did I bring the right scarf?" she asks me. I look and see her raise her signature blood red scarf. "Is it our... colour?" she asks me.

"Is your colour blood red?" I ask. She winces but nods. "Yes, you—you have the right colour..."

She removes herself from us and moves closer to Lawrence's grave. "Warm up, my love," she whispers, putting the scarf around the grave as if it was Lawrence's neck. "I don't want you to get cold." Scarlett's voice cracks on the last part.

When we all leave, Sweeney decides to drive Scarlett to her and Lawrence's secret family home. Felicity is still shaking as we leave.

Howard has been waiting for me outside the cemetery patiently. I quickly hug my husband, not wanting to let go.

I don't want to see the world in black and white.

Not ever.

To read more: https://www.wattpad.com/story/43551432-soulmate-au

A U T H O R ‘ S N O T E

Here it is, the first story out of many more I am willing to write. Just tell me what you think and whether I should continue posting my other works...

Oh, and FUN FACT!

“Warm up, my love, I don’t want you to get cold,” are the last words Scarlett heard Lawrence say.

What happened is that:

Lawrence drove Scarlett to her office because it was raining. She was going to go there to finish some work she needed done by Monday (remember, this is a Saturday). Before Scarlett leaves the car, Lawrence tells her the scarf thing... He died while he was driving back home because it was rainy and some idiot driver decided to be an idiot and crashed him.

...Okay, maybe not a fun fact.

im sorry

#Soulmate AU #Soulmate #AU #Soulmates #Stories #Oneshot #Oneshots #One Shots #Original Story #Own Characters #Based on Some People #LOL #IAmAdlocked Stories #people say this is a sad story #well #it is #good luck

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kwamiwayzz · 7 years

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Why I Left...Then Eventually Came Back (Vent)

Geez...I don’t know how I came to this, but I wanted to vent this out after looking at the last thing I posted before I abandoned took a long-ish hiatus from this Tumblr.

It’s gonna be kinda long since it’s gonna go over a bit of history on the way I felt towards shipping Elsanna back when I was still deep in the fandom and why this account was made...

Warning: A lot of personal baggage under the cut [and I guess you could put mentions of suicidal contemplation]

A bit of background on how I even got around to shipping these two in the first place. I’m not the kind of person to ship things so easily; it may come from the fact that I’m partially asexual/aromantic, who knows? I’ve had smaller ships on the side throughout high school and part of college like KiGo, FlutterDash, Korrasami, and Pearlmethyst (and I guess Bubbline sorta counts?) but the only major ships I’ve ever had in the past were Negitoro (MikuxLuka - Vocaloid), YumiKuri (YmirxChrista - Attack on Titan), and eventually Elsanna (ElsaxAnna - Frozen 2013).

In my junior year of high school I had this huge crush on a friend who I thought I could trust with my feelings despite knowing they could never be reciprocated. She said it was fine at first but not long after she kind of turned around and said she was uncomfortable around me and didn’t want to be seen with me. I was really confused as to why she wasn’t honest in the beginning, but as a young teenager who was still getting used to the feeling of constant rejection it didn’t sit well with me and I panicked a lot because I got really scared of losing a friend also. She wanted to distance herself from me which I reluctantly agreed with, the went on a horrible breakdown that nearly led me to wanting to commit suicide. Holy shit...and this happened when the school year was starting also.

I went along my days hoping the year would end. I was honestly so dead on the inside and didn’t think anything would help me get out of that even though my friends were there trying to cheer me up. I came across Frozen and after seeing the way the sisters interacted I don’t know...I guess it came from what I wanted in a relationship; not necessarily romantic, I just happened to ship it in a romantic way also. So, naturally I gravitated towards that and it distracted me and helped me get out of a 2-month long depression. And it really made me happy...for awhile.

Fast-forward, I came across some buddies on what’s now known (and possibly now-dead) as the ECC, the ElsannaCollabCorner, out of enthusiasm for wanting write and collaborate with other people in this ship. It was pretty fun, I met awesome people like canitellusmthin, not-rotting, the-wandering-quill, and many others, despite not contributing as much as I would have liked (I was still iffy on my writing skills for that particular ship so it was difficult for me to actually put something out there).

I ended up making this account, and to be honest, I also may have lied a bit to some people on the ECC when I mentioned this account is my first experience on Tumblr. It’s not. Previously, I had another account which I’ve long abandoned due to it being associated with so much negativity directed towards Frozen/Elsanna. And I thought making this account would be a fresh start being involved in the fandom.

There was a particular issue that I noted to myself time and time again that explains why I kept disappearing, then reappearing again and it mainly came from me trying to distance myself from the ship and the Frozen fandom in general because of how unhealthily attached I got to it. As much as I loved this pairing (and still do to a certain extent) I hated the way I got super stressed out over not being able to find new content or finding out other people who I’ve followed who shipped it, have lost interest/left the fandom. The biggest blow, I remember, was when one of my favorite EA artists, Patronustrip, had packed her bags and left the fandom completely due to her issues with the fandom itself, issues with the movie franchise, and slow disinterest in the pairing. To me, she was a bit like the Frozenmusings of the EA fandom, so having to see her leave on a bit of a bad note was really depressing, especially since I still wasn’t over what happened to me in junior year.

It was pathetic and horrible and the ship that was once seen as something I took comfort in to get away from heartbreak back in high school, from both rejection of that person and losing them as a friend afterwards, ended up turning into the equivalent of me being trapped in a ridiculously unhealthy, maybe abusive, relationship. That was how I spent most of my college freshman days and in the end I knew that I had to get away from it.

Even after my messed up attachment to this pairing started to dwindle significantly, it didn’t feel right coming back to an account that mostly revolved around Frozen/Elsanna. And seeing nothing but that on my dash...I don’t know...stressed me out in a way? In the end, EA stuff just feels like a bit of a chore and it might be due to the fact that I’m so overexposed to it or that I’ve been spoiled enough by it that it doesn’t really feel like EA anymore.

That’s why after I recently started shipping Saber/Irisviel, it really put things into perspective how spoiled I was being in a popular ship like Elsanna. A large fandom can sometimes attract not the greatest people and those people end up making the ship itself look bad. Lord knows how many times I’ve dealt with seeing bullshit Kristanna vs. Elsanna or Helsa vs. Elsanna bitch fights that went on when I was still in the fandom. Like, KA fandom has their stupid moments, but there were times I sometimes felt like the EA fandom would shift the blame away from themselves (some people, not all). So, in a way, the fandom was one of the few things that drove my interest away from both the pairing and movie for a while. It was a combination of that and me getting sick of running into certain NSFW art and fics that would clog up my dash even though I could easily blacklist it (kinda). It wasn’t always on Tumblr, but some people I recall on Reddit have made remarks on just taking whatever even if its low-quality, which I understand in way but doesn’t entirely apply to EA since the fandom is technically in abundance. I have other issues with the fandom as well, looking back as someone who is no longer really in it anymore, but I’m not sure if I want to go into detail about it right now for the sake of not extending this post any longer

I ended up coming back after curiously wondering what’s been up with some people I’ve been following, and after spending time away from my previous fandom, it’s kind of refreshing that I’m no longer really tied down to it anymore.

In the end I guess I came back because I missed the interactions I would have with some followers and having fun with that on Tumblr. I know I have my other account but I tend to be quiet on that one since I don’t focus on a specific fandom over there. I might not be into EA as much as I used to but I didn’t really have to abandon this account entirely...or the people I somewhat talked to on here.

TL;DR: Left because EA was becoming toxic for me, needed to take a break, came back because I wanted to know how y’all were doing :)

#Turtle Speaks #this technically means this blog is no longer geared being only frozen/elsanna anymore #long post #i also want to start idea dumping again cause I miss the 'turtle ideas'#oh and even though I said EA isn't really something i look into as much anymore that doesn't mean ill suddenly unfollow all those EA blogs #overexposure can really do a number on you...#did i mention i have an issue with the KA fandom's obsession with smut for their pairin?#like EA has smutty stuff but they dedicate special weeks to churn out fanart and fanfics #not really a huge fan of that...even though im not in it #geez i still dont know why i wanted to post all this personal stuff but eh here you go #for anyone who cares lol

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