#this is a little scene from the story i've got in my brain space that may or may not ever get wrote down
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Immediate Writer's Block
Had a comment on another post where I thought I'd probably need more space than the notes in which to respond, so:
constant-state-of-self-discovery
Oh I get the envy I feel it right now how the fuck do you manage to write without impassable writers block after 5-9 sentences because I haven't fucking figured it out lol
I do have some advice on this!
I think most writers get blocked from time to time, it's normal and my general strategy is just to wait it out, but if you're frequently blocked after only writing a very little bit, I think the problem is one of two things: either you don't know what you want to achieve with the scene you're writing, or you don't know what should happen next within the scene to achieve that goal. If you frame "I'm blocked" as "I don't have an answer I need" then often you move from just sitting there, sweating and staring at a blank page, to thinking productively about how you're going to get where you're going. It's the difference between not knowing an answer and not knowing an answer but knowing where to look for it.
An invaluable piece of advice for this, which I think I picked up from someone who got it off a National Novel Writing Month messageboard, is "When in doubt, ninjas attack." It's not meant to be literal, you don't need to have ninjas or fight scenes just because you don't know what to do, but it helps to get the creativity flowing again. If you don't know what should happen next, or you know but you're having trouble actually writing the scene, it can be very helpful to induce a moment of uncertainty or surprise -- to have a metaphorical ninja attack. One time I did this literally -- the POV character was just on the road somewhere and I didn't know how to get them from a pastoral country road to their actual destination in an interesting way, so I had them get attacked by highway bandits and have to fight them off, which also allowed me to demonstrate that the character had significant unarmed combat skills. But it can also just be like, two characters who are having a boring conversation can be interrupted by a third person, even just a stranger asking for directions, or there can be, IDK, an explosion, or something goes missing, or etc.
Sometimes it also helps to leave it alone but keep it in your mind and go do something else -- listen to a podcast, take a walk, read a book, not because those things are distracting but because all our inputs eventually feed into our brain and come out as reactions. If you're thinking about your book while you're wandering around a park, something you see in the park might have an impact on it. If you've got YOUR story in mind while reading someone else's, you might be more inclined to look at what they're saying and see what you think of it, how it might play into your work.
And honestly, sometimes you just gotta go past it. I'm working on the next Shivadh novel right now and it opens basically with Simon the chef getting into a spat with his love-interest-to-be over some cheese. He want the cheese, she won't sell him the cheese, so they get off to a very contentious start. But I suck at writing conflict especially when it's basically "A character I like is being pompous and another character I want people to find likable is being stubborn and somewhat unpleasant". I've been stalled on it for a while. But I know where the scene ends up, like I do know what the goal is, so I just...skipped it and went on to writing a scene I like better, where they meet a second time and actually discover each others' identity and that they're about to be forced into the grownup equivalent of a school project. Once I've gotten dug deeper into the story I'll come back and write it, and by then I'll have the benefit of knowing the love interest a bit better.
So yeah -- I think a lot of breaking a writer's block, especially when you don't need rest but are just stumped about what to do, is to twist and look at it from another angle. It's not that you don't know what to write, or don't want to write what you know you have to -- it's that you don't have the correct answer to a question, or you need to leave that part alone to ferment and come back to it later. At least, for me.
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Because I'm particularly annoyed: To everyone within the LGBT+ and ships involving them circles, get this through your goddamn head. RWBY the "little" anime-inspired web show that:
subverts sexist and homophobic tropes from that inspiration
has a deep & mature story
respects its femme characters
that has had morons saying it was baiting for years
has a married wlw couple w/ child; 2 confirmed lesbian characters; 2 mlm characters in the novels; a bi MC (VA'd by a bi femme)/a sapphic MC (VA'd by an "on the spectrum" femme)/ and together a wlw MC pair; a trans character that isn't a joke
THAT show DELIVERED one of the most normalized via being treated no different to its hetero sibling ships, being within a non-world of gay, and not being spotlighted; well-developed; well-earned; 10 year steady slowburned; and mature CANON wlw romances around. That including having a bi character that feels bi not a lesbian character w/ a bi sticker slapped on cause not only does she have guys w/ feelings towards her as well as a former male romantic partner, but also has a femme w/ feelings towards her as well as a current femme partner in a non-world of gay. The fucking cherry on top: it has Beauty and the Beast at its core mixed with yin-yang.
Get the fuck over this notion of "oh that's just RWBY" in a head-up-ones-own-ass obnoxious manner. Before it was the goddamn "well BB isn't confirmed, its just been hinted/teased" even with the show making it fucking blatantly clear it was happening, including soft-canonizing it via a character directly bringing up the mutual romantic feelings going on between the two tying it to her own ones towards the other part of the sibling hetero pair of the show. Now after its been given one of the best most beautifully done scenes in the entire show w/ a goddamn song written by an LGBT+ artist and sung by both them & another LGBT+ femme to canonize them; its STILL being treated/view like its both bait/non-canon and/or lesser than other pairs. Its especially fucking rich when I know some people who'd sing the praises of Warrior Nun and Avatrice, which is in the same goddamn vein as RWBY and BB with both being great ships and shows. If anyone tried to pull this shit with that show & that pairing, you'd get your damn ass torn apart and you know it; but RWBY isn't given that same respect. Caitvi/Violyn (Arcane) gets more damn respect and technically speaking its not even fucking canon yet, its still in the phase that either v4-7 BB was at. Where its been heavily implied & teased to the point of me going with it as soft-canon, yet not a damn soul would scoff at it being mentioned within LGBT+ ships. But once again RWBY is different.
Those that pull this shit are:
the shit-for-brains know-nothings that either want to shit on the show because of their own hoity-toity its too below us bullshit or haven't bothered to actually watch the damn show
the bigoted incel pieces of shit that just don't support LGBT+ yet infest our spaces;
the antis that don't care what was built up, they're salty bitches that just can't stand their pair didn't happen
the entitled ass LGBT+ that think all LGBT+ should be rushed, spotlighted at the center of the story, and aimed at an LGBT+ audience instead of normalized for a general audience.
So if you're going to thumb your nose at the show and its rep, then fuck you and go fuck your damn self. You're no damn better than the incels and chuds. And don't even think to reach for any LGBT+ cards cause I've got my own one. They're canon and they're great get that through your fucking heads, that little web show fucking delivered. Don't like it? Fine, I don't really care. But don't you fucking dare thumb your damn nose at it and not expect to get dragged over the damn coals by me.
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10 BL Boys I Want Carnally
I was tagged by @twig-tea, but I do what I want so I'm ignoring the Boys thing (and on at least one occasion the BL thing). Anyway, without further ado, and in no particular order.
Win!Lin- Cupid's Last Wish
LOOPHOLE FIRST!
gif by @angelbesideme
Thanks to Cupid's Last Wish, Jan is a boy here! So I am choosing Win from Cupid's Last Wish before he body swaps back. HOWEVER, if I'm honest, it was less Win and more masc!Jan that made my brain short circuit so do with that what you will.
Toon- Seneha Stories
I am breaking from the prompt immediately, but this is my post and I can do what I want, so I am choosing Toon from Seneha Stories, which @so-much-yet-to-learn brought my attention to. Seneha Stories is definitively not a BL, but Toon is hot, kind, sad, and he fucks so I'd be living my best life.
Miw, Neo, Shin, and Mae - 3 Will Be Free
THIS IS NOT ME SUGGESTING A FOURSOME, THIS IS JUST ME TRYING TO PREVENT FOUR OF THE TEN SPACES FROM BEING 3 WILL BE FREE.
I like it when my fictional women not only are capable of murder, but have, in fact, murdered. Miw and Mae are hot, competent, killers, fucking over evil billionaires so what is not to love?
I am not immune to Neo and his slutty little crop tops. He has three brain cells and they are all that is keeping him from not dying. Iconic to be honest.
I am not immune to Shin and his glasses, and his kindness. I mean, the boy got cut with a knife and not only comforted the kid that wounded him when he started freaking out but dated him.
Mollie - The Warp Effect
gif by @patpran
MY FIRST NON-BINARY REP IN THAILAND, MY BELOVED. Mollie is so fucking hot, they are talented, they have sick tattoos, they are fighting for themselves, and are changing the landscape of media, what is not to love?
You could also almost certianly put in any of Silvy's characters and I would probably want them carnally, cause...it's Silvy.
(honestly, I'd go for Nim too, but again, not for her character's personality, it's the masc!Jan effect)
Kim- KinnPorsche
gif by @namchyoon
For this scene and this scene only. Honestly, I think if nothing else this shows you that my type is people who could actually maybe kill me in a fight.
Or at the very least, people I could get in to a homoerotic fight with.
Anyway, Jeff gives me gender envy and the first time I saw this gifset, I thought he was a butch lesbian.
Speaking of homoerotic fights
Phaya and Sand - The Sign
MENACE! A MENACE I TELL YOU! I truly well and deeply have an appreciation for when someone who (I assume) typically would top absolutely just vibrates out of their skin at the first sign they might be topped.
And I'm adding Sand here as well because I think my jaw dropped like ten feet when I saw her on screen.
Sand, baby girl, let me know if Yai doesn't treat you right, cause I will.
King- Bed Friend
gif by @earthfluuke
Shout out to this man, I've seen him on at least three of these lists. But who could blame us? Look at him.
Choy Yu Na- Semantic Error
She did that bisexual sit and my heart was hers.
And for my last two picks, I certainly am asking myself the question, do I want them carnally or do I just want them?
Mork -My Ride
Helloooooooo Mr. Dimples. I mean....I feel like I don't need to explain myself here. We all get it, right? We understand, right? And besides, he gives rides for a living or something...
Minoru- Our Dining Table
HE'S JUST SO NICE, SO KIND, SO TIRED. @isaksbestpillow is so right, he is a mother. I love him.
Tagging @so-much-yet-to-learn, @solitaryandwandering, @respectthepetty and anyone else who sees this and wants to join!
#10 bl boys I want carnally#cupid's last wish#seneha stories#3 will be free#the warp effect#the sign the series#our dining table#semantic error#my ride the series#bed friend the series#kinnporsche#tag game
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I hope this doesn't come off the wrong way, given the previous thing about different ways people write, but I just wanted to tell you because I'm so excited: I finished the first draft of that script! I actually finished a writing thing for the first time in over a decade! I've never attempted to write a script before, and now I've finished my first first draft. My friend said that's a big deal, and it makes writing other scripts much easier when you finish your first. Is that what you've found?
Oh apparently I have a few more questions, sorry: The first time you finished a project, and you knew you were on literally the last few paragraphs or scene, or what have you, how did that feel for you? And when you were done, did you initially love writing, or did you debate ever writing again? Did you start working on something right away, or did you break for a little bit?
Sorry, I'm just so excited and proud of myself right now, and wondering what feelings might come next. I haven't been this proud of myself in I don't know how long. I mean, I know I have to finalize it, and even still, I know I'll never be able to get it made. However, for right now, I'm proud of myself! I'll probably go back to being sad I'll never get it made tomorrow though, which sucks, but it's a good night right now!
I hope you're doing well today! Sorry for the bombardment of questions.
First of all: congratulations! You've got every right to be excited. Screenwriting isn't easy or simple even at the best of times. Doing it well requires that you write in ways that can seem really counterintuitive when compared to working in prose. And it's always, ALWAYS a big deal when by completing something you break a long creative dry spell. So GOOD ON YOU! You got the job done. :)
(And now, of course, comes rewrite. The brain—yours, or someone else's—always has notes. But I'm sure you knew that.)
While I know how it is to be relieved on finishing a first script, my weird work history makes me kind of an outlier when it comes to discussing this. I went with unexpected speed from "I'm Just A First-Time Novelist, What Do I Know?" to "I'm Just A First-Time Screenwriter, What Do—WAIT WHAT??". Because the man who was soon to be my story editor on Scooby and Scrappy-Doo walked in the door one evening, having just read The Door Into Fire, and said, "Would you be interested in writing cartoons?"
It was kind of a surprising career development, but I quickly learned at that point in my life that when the Universe turns up on your doorstep with the Moon on a silver platter, you don't tell it to try next door: you say "Wait right there and I'll get a knife and fork." In the space of a given month of being walked around Hanna-Barbera for the first time, I turned in my first animation script... and then sagged in my chair on getting the phone call when my story editors told me, "That's a strong start. Now we have some notes." And all I could do was collapse with relief that I had not fucked it up.
However, this situation also left me in no position where I'd be able to debate ever writing a screenplay again... because suddenly there were a couple of very intent guys telling me "Okay, new story premise coming over to you, we need the outline by next Thursday and the script the Thursday after, you okay with that?"
(Are you kidding me? I thought. Let me get the knife and fork!)
So as I said, I'm really an outlier in this regard. The next three years of my life pretty much went as above, as Tom Swale and Duane Poole (great Thoth rest both their gentle souls) took me with them from one show to another, and kept me busy. (Thereby financing the writing of So You Want To Be A Wizard and The Wounded Sky and assorted other work.) But there's no question that each time you finish a script, each time you type FADE TO BLACK, you feel better about the whole enterprise. It doesn't precisely get easier. But it gets more familiar. And that helps. (If I have to be locked in a haunted house, I'd sooner it was one I'd played in when I was a kid than one I'd never been inside before...)
Anyway, again: congratulations. But also: Do not be too sure you'll never have it made. ...Granting you that "made" can look a lot of different ways in different times and places, and can shift under your feet without warning. But the world that depends on scripts can do very, very weird and unusual things without warning. Best to do your homework and be ready for them... and know where the knife and fork are.
Also, a side note: As you do more of this work you may well find that finishing a script leaves you with more energy, not less. I think this may be a lot more normal than we routinely allow ourselves to believe. It makes sense to me, from the psych-nurse end of things, that successful completion of a project allows the release of a lot of energy that you've been holding in reserve to help you cope if something went horribly wrong with the piece of work you just finished. Me, when I've felt that rush, I do a thing that C. J. Cherryh taught me: immediately roll another sheet of paper into the typewriter. ...Though these days, it'd be "open a new file." You don't necessarily have to do anything with that blank page or screen if you don't want to. But it's wise to be ready.
In any case: all the good luck to you (because sheer blind luck plays its part in this business, no matter how much we wish all our hard work counted for more)! ...And let us know how you get on.
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Hello! I have a very particular sort of scene that I've been trying to get right for over ten years now and I can't make it work; I hope perhaps you can help.
A husband and wife duo who have Mixed Feelings about one another are trying to break out of a facility. (He was recently discovered to be a spy, she is a conscripted soldier in the facility. She was sent to escort him to execution but hesitated - I'm not sure where, in the cell, in the hall? - and - he took advantage of this hesitation? she was arrested as a traitor? - I don't know that either, yet - and they end up running through the halls together to escape)
The facility is vaguely sci-fi; think Star Wars Original Trilogy-style weapons, and there is space travel, but technology isn't... wildly advanced. Like it's not all digital and holograms and hand-wavey stuff, it's only a little more advanced than what we have available now. (Like SW OT.)
Point A is them in the cell. Point B is them on a spaceship breaking free.
I cannot get them from Point A to Point B with any kind of plausibility, or without staggering incompetence on the part of the soldiers and commanders in the facility.
They would likely be armed with only her sidearm, unless they happened to grab rifles off of further escorts sent with her?
I'm sorry this is so vague, thank you in advance for any help!
Personally, I’m of the opinion that any scene that’s been marinating in the brain for a long time (especially for years) has deeper structural/internal issues than just putting together action. Just from reading your question, I can feel the way you’ve laid this specific scenario out breaking your own suspension of disbelief. You’ve got several problems that have built up over time and, now, they’re all working against you.
Change if it’s Not Working
One of the best pieces of writing advice I ever got came from being forced to memorize my martial arts school’s Ten Steps to Mastery as part of my first test for black belt. I only remember the first five and I can’t guarantee they’re all in order.
Set a goal
Take action
Pay attention to detail
Practice, Practice, Practice
Change if it’s not working
Regardless of whether you’re practicing a front kick or writing a full length novel, flexibility is important. The more we try to force something to work, the less likely it will. Training flaws into your technique means they’ll be more difficult to correct later. So, don’t forget to stop and look at the larger picture if you feel yourself getting stuck.
Remember, change isn’t failure. Writing is a complex process and not every idea, plotline, character moment, or scene is going to work out when fit into a larger context. And that’s okay.
Outside emotional exhaustion and stress, my writer’s block kicks in when I’ve taken a wrong turn in the narrative or am avoiding a difficult emotional moment that my characters need to face before their story can progress. Something has made me/them uncomfortable and instead of facing it, I’m attempting to avoid the uncomfortable feeling by throwing some other distracting piece, usually action, in the way. I call these moments false notes. I usually hit them when I’m coming at the story from an external perspective (what have I seen other characters do in other stories/films?) rather than an internal one. (What would this character do?)
If something isn’t working, stop trying to make it work. Instead look for what you’re missing, and where the pieces aren’t connecting. It’s usually further back than the scene you’re working on.
My characters are always right. I’m either not listening or going about it the wrong way.
Food for thought.
Your Heroes are Reactively Active
We hear a lot from the writing community about the importance of Active Characters. These are characters who are doing things to move the plot forward. They make choices. They take action. Then, there are passive or, what I like to call, reactive characters. They are characters who react to things in their environment, whatever that is, but they’re not actively making choices. Passive characters get a bad rap in American storytelling tradition (more so than in the wider Western storytelling tradition.)
Passive characters really shine when working with characters who are in settings where they’re struggling to survive. In the real world, passivity is one of the best ways to survive abuse. Any victim of long term or systemic abuse can tell you that standing up and fighting back, especially in situations where you have no power or means to change your circumstances, makes the situation exponentially worse. You’ve got to gray rock it out, suppress, and survive.
Lastly, there are characters I like to call reactively active. These are characters who feel like they’re being active but are actually just reacting to actions taken by other characters. They appear a lot in YA Fantasy, but they’re everywhere. And, because these characters are always reacting to another character’s (usually the villain’s) actions and choices, they get an easy out when it comes to escaping narrative consequences for the things they do. It’s a deceptive sleight of hand used to maintain a character’s moral purity. These characters appear active on the surface, but, underneath, they’re passively reacting to the narrative events inflicted on them. They don’t take action. They respond to action with action.
Let’s get back to your scenario.
We have a husband and wife in some sort of heavily or, at least, decently fortified, military installation. The husband has been outed as a spy, put in whatever functions as a prison or holding cell within the complex, and scheduled to be executed. The wife is a loyal soldier who must now choose between her love for her husband and her love of duty.
This has the makings of some good drama.
The first obvious problem point is that these characters are trying to do too many things at once. They’re coming to terms with their deep feelings of betrayal, experiencing a last minute change of heart, making a snap decision to escape, and rapidly coming up with a plan to escape in the heat of the moment. If this feels unbelievable, it’s because it is and, even better, doubles for putting the characters in a reactive or passive state. The wife character isn’t acting, so much as she’s reacting last minute to the immediate, impending danger. That would be fine if she wasn’t also having to help carry the burden of coming up with The Plan.
There’s the surface level here, where the last minute change of heart is mimicking the kinds of behavior seen in countless other forms of media regarding escape scenes. However, this narrative decision happening in the heat of the moment is also allowing the character to skate over the emotional consequences of her own betrayal. She’s not choosing so much as she’s being forced to make a choice. And that is removing her agency.
If she makes the choice earlier, starts putting The Plan in place with the help of some friends/colleagues (even if it happens largely off page) then executes at the cell, she takes back her agency and retains her status as an active character.
The difference here is in the processing time. Characters can’t plausibly escape fortified lock up without a plan or, really, The Plan.
The Narrative Structure of Last Minute Rescues
The first problem in your scenario is that you have two characters, neither of which are doing the pre-planning legwork required to successfully execute The Plan. Rescues are like heists, they either take a village or require characters who are extremely meticulous and actively manipulating the village to fill in the gaps. (James Bond does Option 2 beautifully, but even he has a team behind him.) Usually, both happen to some degree. The burden is segregated out into different pieces for different characters. Normally, there’s at least three. The character locked up is trying to figure out a way to escape, but comes up short. The one on the outside who is putting together the pieces needed to execute the rescue/get away. And, sometimes, the one on the inside who is experiencing a change of heart, who, at the very last minute, turns heel and assists with the rescue (most often in the turn of misfortune where a piece fails and the rescue is at risk of being bungled.)
All of this additional weight/build up/expectation of the non-existent plan is being put on two characters and crammed into a single scene.
Think about the rescue of Princess Leia from the Death Star for a moment. How many characters are required to make that escape work?
Seven.
All of them. If a single character in the entire group is missing, the whole thing falls apart. Even Threepio is necessary, mostly because Artoo can’t talk. This off the cuff, by the seat of our pants rescue requires all seven characters and they still end up bungling it to kill their samurai master.
You need one to turn off the tractor beam so they can actually escape. (Doing the real work.)
You need one to figure out where the princess is being held, unlock the doors, and figure out where they are.
You need two to bullshit past the guards going in and one to pretend to be a prisoner.
You need one to bullshit past the guards a second time to save the one that can’t talk with the floor plan.
You need the princess to be the one to get them back out because she’s the only one with balls.
And none of it mattered because the escape was a trap all along.
While you don’t need these specific roles for everything, escaping from a heavily fortified facility is not a two man job. That’s where the feelings of implausibility and extreme incompetence are coming from. There aren’t enough characters helping to clear the way or be there as a safeguard for when things go wrong. This feeds into the next problem.
Soldiers, Spies, and Their Squads
We have another unintended scenario brewing at the same time. And that’s the exhausted retail employee going on a rampage and slaughtering their surprised colleagues. This really knifes your tension. By reacting to the immediate danger, the wife is not making an active, conscious choice with full knowledge of the consequences, and those consequences are killing people she knows, respects, is friends with, shares a camaraderie, or who are at least familiar to her. These other soldiers aren’t faceless goons. It’s a lot harder to pull the trigger on someone you know than someone you don’t, especially someone who has the same values that you do.
Soldiers aren’t characters who work alone. They have a squad. They’re part of a unit. They have a support network surrounding them that allows them to do their job to the best of their ability. Spies are the same way. They also have a support network which allows them to act to the best of their ability, even when it feels like they’re acting alone. Spies have handlers and they have assets, their job requires they build their own support networks so they have someone who can get into the places where they can’t. Those people may be witting or unwitting assets but they’re still there.
Both of these characters should have fairly extensive support networks to fall back on when in crisis. They’re in crisis. The crisis is both physical and emotional. Where are their people? Two characters who are social archetypes whose jobs and survival during wartime are reliant on building trust and skillful communication have no one willing to put their lives on the line to help them out? They only have each other? That’s staggering incompetence.
Spies aren’t assassins. They’re social animals. Soldiers aren’t lone wolves. They’re social animals. If there’s a structural failure here, it’s happening with your secondary characters. Ignoring the importance of secondary characters is a mistake that a lot of new writers make and I can feel those early mistakes being carried forward in this scene. This is what Hemingway meant when he said, “kill your darlings.” If an idea isn’t working, if it’s holding you back, kill it. Look at the problem and your work from a new angle. One good line or one good scene, regardless of your emotional attachment to it, doesn’t outweigh the entire work.
Plans and Floor Plans
If you’re having trouble coming up with a character’s escape, step back and take a look at the facility itself. Whether it’s breaking in or breaking out, you, the author, need to have a clear visualization of the entire picture so you can find the weaknesses or fracture points.
Plans are easier to conceptualize when you know what the dangers are and what defenses have been put in place to prevent what your characters are attempting. Which parts of the fortress are better fortified than others? Where does this military expect to be attacked? What have they done to prevent it? What are the patrols? Who are the techs? How does the military support itself while fending off attempts to damage its resources? Who handles the supply lines?
The boring minutiae of your world is what makes it feel real. Action is dependent on your world building and this goes deeper than just their weapons. The social systems in place guide how your characters fight. It’s there in how they perceive their environment, and how they recognize usable tools. If you build a functional and consistent world, the action will take care of itself because violence is a natural response to environmental threats. Violence seeks to exploit established systems, to gain an advantage over them. If the violence is imagined separately from the environment, the violence won’t feel real because it’s not reactive and it’s not reacting to environmental stimuli. From there, it’s not logical.
Ask yourself, why do we use guns?
Then ask yourself, why do your characters use guns? What does it allow them to do that they wouldn’t be able to do otherwise? Or, what does the gun do better than other weapons that makes it the preferred choice?
The answer for the real world and your setting might be the same, and they might be different. Both will influence how the character uses their weapon. How they use their weapon guides how they fight. If you’re lost, ask yourself questions.
For example, let’s take a last look at the prison.
Prisons are built with the expectation of keeping multiple people contained for an extended period of time, preventing them from leaving in the event of an escape, and preventing those who are sympathetic from breaking in to rescue them. What have the characters in your setting (not your protagonists) done to facilitate that goal? What safeguards have been put in place to prevent someone from leaving and entering?
In the real world, prisons are built in a way that two people can’t just walk out. There are points of entry and exit that are designed to be remotely controlled from secure locations and cannot be operated or accessed on the ground. You’d need someone (like R2-D2) who can access the remote functions to get someone past the exits that they can’t open themselves.
-Michi
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Audio Drama Sunday - 12/11/23
Happy Audio Drama Sunday, friends! To get my brain in gear for Travelling Light, I've been venturing into a bit more sci-fi than I usually listen to and did you know? There's some real good spaceship podcasts out there?? 🚀✨
First up, I've been blasting through @vestaclinicpod and having a (space) whale of a time. Every character is now my child, and I would die for them. I love how the medical angle helps keep the stories grounded, and gives a really fun angle of entry for exploring the world!
Someone on the MP Discord server recommended StarTripper!! for people excited about Travelling Light and I'm thrilled they did. It's SO much fun, with really tight eps that go down super easy. Reminds me watching classic scifi with my dog after school. You know, like a cool kid 😎
Less silly but just as immersive has been The Strange Case of Starship Iris. I was hooked from the first episode - literally stopped in the middle of the washing up to listen better. The acting is class and they manage to make the action scenes fun and compelling - no mean feat in audio!
All that said, there have been a few old favourites playing in Monstrous HQ this week too. I'm loving the start of the latest (and last!) season of @the-mistholme-museum. Sweet Audio Tour Guide and their totally-not-a-crush 🥰 Can't wait to see where it goes from here!
Finally, God knows I post enough about @thesiltverses that at this point there is a weird little crab where my heart should be. But its just real good OK. It's real fuckin good. And as their VA, I've decided Sibling Rane's first name is, in fact, Perple. You're welcome.
What have you all been listening to? Apart from Travelling Light, of course 😌 I mean, if you want to tell me all about how much you love TL, do feel free… 😉 But I'd also love to hear any sci-fi, fantasy or science-fantasy recs you've got! ✨🧑🚀
#podcast recommendations#the vesta clinic#startripper!!#the strange case of starship iris#the mistholme museum of mystery morbidity and mortality#the silt verses#travelling light#audio fiction sunday#audio fiction#audio drama#podcasts
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hii!!
i want to talk about ace so badly
already from the intro i new this was gonna be my cup of tea, like college! au, sports! au and fake enemies to friends to lovers, please!!
o h m y g o d
i was so wrong
this is so much more than just a cup of tea for me. i want for time to stop, so i can read this again infinite times, i want this story permanently tattooed in my brain and flowing through my veins.
your writing is showstoping and phenomenal!!
i'm a sucker for good dialogue and you have outdone everyone there is to outdo. i'm so serious when i say this changed my life last night!!
today i'm going through it again and collecting my favourite moments (listed below) and i need you to know that this is such a perfectly written story in every way and i'm so grateful you decided to share it with the world.
thank you!! thank you!! thank you!! thank you!! thank you!!
here's a list of my favourite moments and dialogue lines (probably incomplete, because i truly believe i will find many more when i read this again and again in the future)
the first interaction is such a perfect opening for the story, love it!! (bonus - the little "got you" in italics, aldhsksjs)
"Hyunjin gapes at your retreating figure for so long that phosphenes start prancing around his field of view. Then he heads to the gym. His heart is pounding against his ribs like a battering ram." aaaaaaaaaaaa
coach bang. just in general. everything he does and says is incredible
"Nothing is the first answer that comes to mind, but Hyunjin’s pulse spikes like a lie detector. Upon the inside of his eyes replays a scene of a certain someone with watermelon bangs doing teleportation jutsu at him from a few yards away, wearing a smile made of some kind of space dust that astronomists haven’t discovered yet." i was screaming in my pillow
"“But hope is hungry, and it will consume you if you let it,” he says. “Do not let it, Hyunjin. I’m not asking.”"
"“I miss when you didn’t come to class, Seungmin.”"
"“It’s not labor, dumbass! Ask our last manager! He didn’t do shit!” “Yeah? Who was your last manager?” “Me!”"
hyunjin running away from minho, chef's kiss!!
"“Music to my ears. What’s your name, cutie?”" aaahhh
"Hyunjin mouths the words tape me in baffled silence. The latter obliges your request with a smile. “See? What could go wrong?”" the whole banter and proximity during this scene, oh my!!
the whole phone call scene, alahskadjk, i had to stop after every two sentences and scream at the ceiling, especially after "“Baby,” he interrupts gently. “Let’s stop here, okay? You seem tired.”"
and don't get me started on "“But I do give a fuck about you.”"
"“Do you want to be alone?”"
the whole interaction in the gym is so, so great and sweet, and delicate it hurts!!
and the conversation between seungmin and hyunjin is so important to me. the realness of the friendsip and a fun bonus of their backstory, loved it soooo much!!
"It’s not awkward this time." STOP
yeah, just seungmin and hyunjin's friendship in general!!
"Tendrils of your body spray reach him from here, floral and light like a tropical coastline. He could’ve counted your eyelashes—if he didn’t have something far better to do." the parallels to the intro aahhh
and the parallel with coach and captain as well, i'm in love!!
"I realized I couldn’t care less if you’re my tutor or my team manager or whatever—I just don’t want you to be a stranger. Maybe that’s selfish of me to say, but I’m tired of pretending the idea of losing you doesn’t terrify me. It does. It truly fucking does." unreal, such a perfect ending!!
i don't have enough words in my vocabulary to express why this story is so amazing and important to me, but it's so delicate and real and incredible. it means more to me than you'll ever know!!
THANK YOUU
Dee
hi hi loveliest! allow me to first apologize for my late reply; i've read this ask so many times since u sent it that i could rehearse it back to u word for word at this point dkljfklsjfkl
thank YOU so much for reading and enjoying as much as you did, dee :') it was such a delight to learn your favorite parts, many of which were my favorites as well hehe (our synergy)!! and what an honor it is to be on the receiving end of praise so high as you wanting this story permanently tattooed in your brain & that i outdid everyone there was to outdo with my dialogue?? if i didn't already love the fic before, knowing it affected you this way has only amplified that sentiment infinitely <3
i've been relearning how to write for myself first and foremost these days, but i hope you know that comments like these really make sharing my writing feel so so worthwhile. i appreciate you an unbelievable amount for taking the time to leave me such a wonderful message! hope you are having a lovely day/afternoon/night cutie
(also: VERY happy u picked up on the coach/captain parallels. i was hoping ppl wouldn't think it was a typo that i said seungmin instead of minho at the start of the timeskip; that was supposed to imply that seung takes minho's spot as captain after he graduates hehehe. appreciate u all the more for noticing one of my favorite details!)
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Train in Vain: Chapter 1
Notes:
Never done this before, I've only ever written academic essays for grad school etc. I got the idea for this story on the train the other day. Wanted to play around with Kid's characterization and his relationship with Kil. The amount of space Kid and Killer are occupying in my brain lately is unhealthy and I especially loved the HC I'd seen of them being in a punk band together. I'd originally thought of this as a one-shot, but I enjoyed writing it so much that I will keep going! My plan atm is to upload another chapter by next week. Please let me know what you think! Going to try to improve my dialogue and action sequences. The general idea is that it'll all happen over the course of one night, like an After Hours, or American Graffiti situation.
TWs: Reader is a woman. Sexual harassment of reader. Brief mention of an imaginary sex scene. Light violence. Implied drinking and drugs. Implied familial pressure and sexism. Cursing. Minors dni.
On AO3 I gave it an M but it's a lighter M. Here's that link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53565769
Summary:
You're headed out on a Saturday night when some cute punks help you out of a sticky situation. Next thing you know, you're tagging along to their concert. This isn't something you'd normally do, but they're nice to look at and you need a little more spontaneity in your life. Let's see where the night takes you.
The man was slumped against the faux wood-paneled wall of the train car. You only noticed him because of his massive, muscular frame. He was your age, late 20s, but he had a boyish charm about his face that made you grin. A mischievousness that was noticeable even with his eyes closed as he was currently. His hair stood up in a dark red shock like he'd stuck his finger in an electrical socket. He was pale and riddled with piercings, metal spikes jutting out from his nose and ears giving his angular face an even sharper appearance. He wore goggles loosely at the top of his forehead. A punk aesthetic that seemed simultaneously meticulous and nonchalant. You noticed his massive left arm was metallic from the elbow down. An equally large man sat beside him on the seat to his left. The man was blonde with long hair that layered itself in sharp locks down his shoulders. He had an old-school soul patch that softened his sharp jawline and drew attention to the blue paper mask he wore courteously over his mouth. He seemed tired in a way that betrayed his rough exterior. His traps were huge and strained against the collar of his worn blue t-shirt. Seeing their muscular physiques made you hold your breath albeit briefly as you boarded the train and quickly slid into a newly available seat.
It was mid-Saturday evening and you were making your way to a bar in south Brooklyn to meet up with a friend from college. She'd recently had a baby and her husband had been begging you to take her out. She was always so responsible; you'd historically been one of her very few bad influences and her husband loved you for it. Despite what she would say when pressed, she enjoyed the thrilling sense of ease you coaxed out of her typically rigid demeanor. Your relationship was easy. She didn't need to text or call you to make sure you still felt involved in her life. You could pick up right where you left off, be it months or years since you'd seen each other.
This was how you lived most of your life. Your family and upbringing were so exhausting that you felt an aversion to friction of any sort. That didn't mean you weren't responsible, of course you were. You always did what was expected of you or what you thought needed to be done. You were the oldest girl, rebelliousness was a luxury reserved for other people. Despite this, you carved out ways to satisfy your inner hellion as you could. Little rebellions that you could control but still scratched the itch you had to break everything down. You drank too much, but not enough to be a real issue. You smoked too much weed, only once it became legalized. You had a serious problem with authority figures or anyone for that matter who had the gall to tell you what to do. You would never cause an actual scene, but you'd fume for weeks after the encounter, thinking of clever ways to handle the situation in retrospect. You had a smart mouth, and while you rarely used it on high, your colorful vocabulary and quick temper had gotten you in serious trouble a couple of times before. You secretly loved using your words to cut someone down to their core, but only if they deserved it. When that side of you showed, the really mean one, no one could keep up with you. People would stare at you, eyes wide and mouth agape at your ability to so quickly discern what they truly hated about themselves and launch it back in their faces.
Aside from its ever-looming presence, this side of yourself was far away from you tonight. You were excited to see your friend, and shockingly the sun had been out today after nine days of straight rain. You had your AirPods in and were listening to one of your throwback playlists on Shuffle. The Clash rang in your ears, barraging your poor eardrums with excessive volume as the train hitched and swayed down the tunnel.
You let your gaze travel back up to the two large men at the other end of the train car. It struck you that it’d been a while since any man had touched you, let alone one as cute as the guys you were ogling shamelessly. You leered at the veiny forearms of the blonde, thickly folded into a taught cross over his chest. Your libido, ever your betrayer, flashed an imaginary scene in your mind’s eye. A vision of the man's vascular forearms tensed in a wrought-iron grip around the edge of a table in front of you, while he fucked you mercilessly from behind. You imagined what his strong body would feel like pressed against your back. A warmth bathed over your skin, your imagination tricking your synapses ever so gently. The warm sensation quickly shot upwards to your cheeks as you realized that the man was watching you stare at him. His expression wasn't judgemental or surprised, just thoughtful with the faintest hint of a smirk behind his mask. Your face flushed beet red and you quickly shook your head back and forth, attempting to convey to the man that you were not, in fact, ogling him but rather staring into the distance and were abruptly brought back to reality. This pathetic coverup attempt made you feel even more guilty since you knew your lustful gaze had been obvious. You averted your eyes down and to the right, tracing the lines made by an errant shoelace discarded on the floor.
The movement of the train broke you out of your shameful reverie. The driver pulled the break surprisingly hard into the next stop and your body lurched forward with the car. You steadied yourself on the wall to your left and watched as most of the people in your car streamed out of the train car doors. The older woman who had been sitting next to you disembarked and in her stead, a lanky brunette man with a buzzcut flopped down next to you dramatically. He gave you a shit-eating grin as your eyes met his and you quickly looked away.
You thought you felt a gaze from further down the train watching you closely but you didn't move or look up in an attempt to discourage your newly arrived neighbor from talking to you. This evasion failed miserably as he tapped you on your right thigh a little too high for your liking.
“Nice weather today, right?”
“Yep.” You said as you took out your right earbud.
“Where you headed?”
“To see a friend. What about you?” You mentally kicked yourself for engaging with him. Why were you so deferential?
“Me and my buddies are going out. Keeping the party going.” He nodded to a man to his right sitting across the aisle. His buddy was cute, like him, but something about him unsettled you. Something about both of them.
“Cool,” you said as you tried to put your earbud back in.
You noticed how empty the train car was. You and these two guys were the only ones on your end of the car. Why did this guy have to sit right next to you?
“What bar are you going to?” He asked quickly before you had the chance to put your earbud back in, so you stopped, holding it aloft.
“Baratie. It's nautical-themed.”
“Sounds cool. What's your friend's name?” He asked, staring you in the eye.
“Um, Amanda.” You said slowly.
“Hah. Good. I thought you were gonna say a guy's name.” He said and chuckled to himself.
“What?” You asked instinctively.
“I thought you were gonna say you had a date.” He explained. You were still confused.
“What do you mean?” You asked dumbly knowing full well his implication.
“I mean a pretty girl like you should come out with us tonight,” he said, his smile turning more nefarious by the second.
You'd never thought of yourself as pretty, and being called a girl made you feel infantile.
“Excuse me?” You asked not very aggressively
You knew that men generally found you attractive. You didn't know to what extent, but you knew on some level that you were cute. You never felt beautiful, that was a word reserved for tall, model-like women who were pretty in an ethereal sort of way. The women you found yourself watching in restaurants and clothing stores who made your heart skip a beat. They always seemed so effortless.
You were the opposite. You were small and round and angry and everything you did was full of effort. You weren't tiny but you were short. Despite your size, you always felt enormous and awkward. You were always moving out of people's way because you felt so brazenly wide. This feeling came from being muscular. You weren't ripped but you'd always played sports growing up and took every opportunity to carry things so that your mother didn't have to. You were a force of sheer mass and will. Femininity felt out of reach for someone who took up space.
Despite this, men found your willingness coupled with your small stature endearing. Your muscles and general meatiness meant that you had a curvy body which betrayed how seriously you took yourself. Your boobs were objectively huge which made you feel fat. Your large bust in tandem with your wide shoulders and back made you feel like you were going to hulk out of lithely cut women’s clothes. You didn't shop frequently, opting instead to wear t-shirts that swamped you in their width. You had a bit of a belly from your enjoyment of craft beer but generally, you were in good shape and attractive. You'd never admit this to anyone, but you saw the way people looked you up and down in bars.
Self-consciousness flooded your brain as you stared at the man sitting next to you. What did he mean?
“Oh, haha, no thanks.” You replied tentatively.
“Don't be shy,” he said, wrapping his long arm around your shoulders. You could smell
minty alcohol radiating from the back of his throat.
“Haha. No, I'm good. Gotta meet my friend.” You said attempting to shrink from his grip.
His hand tightened and tensed on your left shoulder. He leaned his face into your right ear.
“Come on, don't be a bitch.” He cooed, his hot breath making you shiver in his arms.
All the color drained from your face and your heart sank. “Fuck,” you thought to yourself as your brain scrambled for ideas on how to escape.
His friend across the aisle laughed as he pulled you in closer to his body. He discreetly placed a soft kiss on the base of your neck.
“I know you want it.” He whispered. “My buddy and I will show you a good time.” You felt his fingers drift to your inner thigh as he squeezed lightly.
You froze from shock. Your brain descended into a panic as fear wracked your body. You couldn’t move.
Suddenly, the man next to you was yanked into the air and thrown to the floor of the train, his body making a loud thud as he skidded to a stop across the linoleum. The train bounced as your gaze trailed up the strong legs of the man now standing in front of you. It was the masked blonde man from your earlier fantasy. Your shocked expression caught his gaze. There was a silent rage behind his eyes. You didn't know how he crossed the train so quickly to launch your harasser out of his seat, especially in steel-toed boots, but you were grateful for it. The redheaded punk was still asleep, head resting on the wall.
The harasser’s friend, the man sitting across the aisle from you started to yell. He tried to get up in the face of the masked man but was violently shot backward with a swift roundhouse kick. The harasser got up off the floor while the masked man used his inertia to quickly pivot his feet and turn to face the incoming attack. He caught the harasser’s fist with his large left hand and parried with a swift punch straight to the guy’s jaw. You heard the crack of bone when his fist hit the man’s face. The harasser was once again, propelled to the ground, blood spraying from the side of his mouth. You gasped and covered your mouth with your hand in shock. You’d never seen a real fight before.
At that moment, the train car doors opened, and, seeing the chaotic scene, the people on the platform yelled in horror and diverted to other cars. You noticed the redheaded punk was now awake and smirking at his friend’s handiwork, his large arms crossed over his chest. The masked man paused, breathed out calmly, and turned to face you. You held your breath. His right fist was covered in blood, so after a thoughtful pause, he extended his left hand out towards you.
“You okay?” He asked. His voice was steady and reassuring, his large hand extended towards you, palm facing upwards.
“Um. Yes. I’m alright.” You stuttered, still in shock. You looked the man in the eye. The rage from earlier was gone and all that remained was tentative concern. He seemed worried that you would spook at any moment, like a wild rabbit caught against a fence.
Sensing no malice in his gaze, you gingerly placed your hand in his. It was calloused but warm and reassuring. He clasped your palm and helped you to your feet with surprising gentleness.
“Well I doubt we have much time after that performance” the redheaded punk spat from down the car, standing from his seat. His booming voice filled with deadpan amusement shocked you out of your daze. You looked around, people were whispering and looking at you through the train’s windows. You saw the station cop start to hustle down the platform towards your train car, “Hey! You three!” He yelled as he picked up his pace. “I've got an assault on a train down here” the cop barked into a walkie-talkie on his right shoulder.
The masked man put his hand on your right shoulder and looked at you, “Sorry, about this, but we gotta get moving.” In one swift motion, you were gracefully floated from the ground. The masked man draped your body over his left shoulder like it weighed nothing and held your legs snug to his chest. The redhead laughed raucously as they dashed out of the train car with you in tow. The masked man and the redhead ran side by side as they picked up speed, busting through the emergency exit door and darting up the station’s long walkway to the street. The yells of the station cop echoed into nothing as you emerged up, into the cold night air. The two men didn’t stop running until they reached an alley two blocks away. The masked man lowered you gently to your feet and they both hunched over to catch their breath.
“Kil, I’ve never seen you manhandle a chick like that” the redhead howled.
You tensed.
“Kid, you heard the cop, she was gonna get detained. I had to get her outta there.”
“How fucking gallant of you, asshole. What are we gonna do now? That wasn’t our stop.” The redheaded man finally caught his breath and stood up to his full height. He was huge, even taller than you’d originally thought. The masked man was broad and taller than you but the redhead had to be at least 6’5.
“Um excuse me. I’m here too.” You said looking from one to the other. On hearing this, they both turned and looked at you.
The redhead furrowed his brow at you, “Yeah, we know. You got us into this mess.”
Your jaw fell open. “How is this MY fault you’re the ones who basically kidnapped me!” You said incredulously.
“Yeah, if my buddy hadn’t saved your ass you’d be in a holding cell all night being questioned by Paul Blart.” The redhead shot back, his intense golden eyes boring into yours.
“Kid, knock it off. You know it’s not her fault.” The masked man waved dismissively at the redhead. “My name is Kil. Sorry for escalating things. Just thought you needed a hand.” The masked man reached his hand back out to you.
You took his hand and shook it lightly. “No, I appreciate it. Thank you.”
Kil shot a thumb at the redhead, “This ray of sunshine is Kid.”
Kid crossed his arms over his chest and averted his eyes from yours. “Pleasure.” He mumbled.
“He's not that bad when you get to know him,” Kil added. “We’re in a band and are meeting up with our mates for a show later.”
“Oh that’s cool,” you said, “what kind of band?”
“Punk, genius” Kid tsked and gestured towards his outfit with his metallic forearm.
“I didn’t ask you, ginger” you snapped back. Out of the corner of your eye, you thought you saw Kid’s lips shoot up into a reluctant smirk.
“Like Kid said, we’re a punk band. You’re welcome to come to the show if you’re interested, but I’m not exactly sure how we’re getting to the venue anymore.” Kil answered.
All of the commotion had made you completely forget about your own plans. “Shit!” You yelped and dug for your phone in your purse. The screen lit up and you find a text from your friend. “Hey I’m so so sorry but Lulu is coming down with something from daycare. I don’t think I’m gonna make it out tonight. Rain check?” You frowned at your phone. You’d wanted to see your friend tonight but hoped her daughter would feel better.
“So are you coming or what?”
You looked up. Kid was staring down at you, eyeing the message you’d pulled up on your phone. He had an expression in his piercing, golden eyes that you couldn’t read.
You paused to think. You didn’t know these guys, but despite their gruff exteriors, you felt decently comfortable with them.
Maybe it was because you’d already done your hair and makeup, maybe it was because you were still full of adrenaline, maybe it was because you thought of yourself as more rebellious than you actually were, or maybe it was because looking at either one of the men made your insides twist into knots, but for whatever reason you cracked a wry smile and replied,
“Yeah, let’s do this.”
#eustass kid#eustass kid x reader#killer one piece#massacre soldier killer#killer x reader#eustass kid x killer x reader#one piece x reader#one piece fanfic
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how do u manage the big big project of writing lionheart 😭 can u give tips on how u manage your life in general HAHAHA. i feel that u’re such an organized put together person 💖💖
aw, thanks! This is so sweet. The answer is that I've developed a specific method for writing long projects after a LOT of trial and error (and many, many abandoned stories, alas).
Start with idea. Concept. Thing you want to do. For fics: elevator pitch. Who is doing what to whom, and where? (The "why" can come later, but generally, if the "who" is strong enough, the "why" is answered on its own.) This should be like, a sentence, ideally.
Brainstorm. Write down every idea you have for the thing, throw it all together in a document, and just get it on paper. You will forget everything you do not put in this document. Listen to me: you will forget everything that you do not put in this document. You will think that you will not forget. "I am good at remembering things," you will say. You (I) are (am) not. Assume that you are writing the sort of list that you could use to reconstruct your idea if someone Obliviated you tomorrow and left you with zero recollection of any of it.
Close document, wait 2-3 days. Read a book, maybe. See if you can distract yourself from the project. If it works, abandon project. (You were going to do this anyway.) If it doesn't: congrats! You've got a demon to exorcise.
Now crack that bad boy open again. Organize all of your ideas. Put your set pieces and plot beats in chronological order. Space them out visually, try to get a feel for where your story's inflection points are. Once some kind of linear chronology emerges: congrats! That's your outline.
Keep going through, and start filling in the connections between the scenes that you pictured. These can have as much or as little detail as you need, but you should work through until your story arc/thing is finished. Write it like you're doing a treatment for a screenplay.
At this point, you should be reaching the point where you can throw in stuff like chapter breaks, scene cuts, maybe even little mini-scenes where you know you want the dialogue to go a certain way. I think of these conceptually as "macro-punctuation." What you're doing here is basically sorting out the pacing of your fic. How long are your chapters? How fast do they move? Does each one feel like a distinct narrative moment? Has each one earned its own place? If there's a place where you know you want a chapter break, but you aren't exactly sure, you can always just write down "2-chapter arc" or something to that effect, to make sure that Future You sees what the vision is. You'll want these notes later. Remember, you are 100% definitely certainly going to forget everything you do not write down.
The outline is finished when you can identify the number N, whereas N is the number of chapters that will constitute a "finished" fic. (This number will change, probably. That's fine. But knowing that you have approximately N chapters to go is vital for writing longfic. The alternative is like starting a marathon without knowing how many miles you have to run.) Save outline; open a new document. Copy/paste the outline of your first chapter. Start writing. Delete each note from your outline as you write it.
Reach end of chapter. Feel sense of accomplishment as you delete last bit of outline. Enjoy monkey-brain reward chemicals. Throw in a chapter break, grab a coffee, and then start the new one. Keep adding to the outline as you have new ideas; maybe make a playlist or something. Do a vision board, use Pinterest, I dunno. Don't beat yourself up for not writing. Don't let yourself go too long without doing it, either. Always stop when you feel like it, and don't make this a chore. Dread is the fun-killer. If you start to treat this like a job, you're done for, and this thing is never getting done.
As for the general life tips, I have a lot less practice, so my advice is un-inspiringly normal, I'm afraid. Make your bed in the morning; find a regular time to work. Routines are your friend. So are habits. Drink water, do stretches, and unclench your jaw. Using the Reminders or Calendar app means you can worry less about forgetting things. Answer emails as soon as you read them, because once you've said "later," Later You can also say it. Be kind to yourself; nobody's got a gun to your head. You're just doing your best. It's enough.
And write everything down.
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18 and 29 for ao3 wrapped !
For 18 - who gave me the most trouble to write? hahahah oh my god. Vegas, hands down.
So he himself was like, fun and easy to write. It's just every now and then I'd write him and I'd ended up spontaneously writing him saying or doing something, that would back me into a corner, story or plot wise. literally he's so troublesome!! I was writing myself out of Vegas holes just because he had to be the cattiest cousin there ever was lol.
I answered 29 here, but I have another scene I liked haha. I've popped in under a cut cause it's long lol
So, in chapter 6, I wrote a scene inspired by that jeff picture that made me so so sooooo deranged. The reason I'm so fond of this scene is that I feel I was able to capture in text, what that picture inspired. like, idk its just a throwaway moment in life, a snippet of behind the scenes on a set but like. my brain lit up lol
-
“We forgot the earrings, one second.”
Kim tenses slightly. He doesn’t like it when people get too close, he’s used to his team, and he’ll give allowances for the fashion stylists. But jewelry, it feels more vulnerable.
He hunches his shoulders a little, the space between shoulder, neck and ear already feeling like a live wire, exposed. Ploy had applied a quick layer of cover on his fading bruises earlier, but the thought of strangers near his throat, his neck, it's uncomfortable right now.
Kim wipes the scowl off his face. He's Wik, Wik is used to this. He can survive it, it’s fine. He just won’t like it.
The stylist and her assistant approach, earrings in hand. Kim tilts his head, eyes half closed and shadowed as each of them reach for an ear, crowding him in. It’s fine. He can feel tension licking up his spine, his hands slightly twitching. Kim flicks his eyes across the room and Chay is there, watching him.
He can’t make out Chay’s expression from this distance, but it’s fixed on him. Kim stares back.
He likes it, this intensity, Chay’s focus, when it’s on him.
After that, the rest of the shoot feels like a whirlwind. Wik is a subterfuge, a performance, all the good and desirable parts of himself, presented to the public. He always has an audience when he's Wik, on set, or up on stage, but the energy feels sharper as Chay and his watchful eyes stay with him.
The photographer is happy, the brand liaison is happy. Kim catches a glimpse of some of the shots on the monitor. They’re good, the intensity ramped up.
The staff approach him again, and Kim feels himself tensing. He’s not up for strangers in his space again, so soon.
He’s about to walk off set, straight to his team – and probably make a scene, when a familiar voice pipes up, near him. It’s Chay, who has somehow got across the room in record time. He’s smiling amiably. “I’m so sorry P’” he makes a respectful wai to the stylist. “P’Wik had a headache earlier, so do you mind if I–”
He doesn’t clarify what he means, instead just gestures the staff away. It’s polite but firm. Kim can see P’Bank and Ploy approaching behind Chay, as if to back him up.
There’s something about his earnestness that smoothes any ruffled feathers. It makes a pocket of space around Kim, clearing out the staff. Chay steps forward, eyes on his. They're of the same height.
Chay’s face leans close to his, shielding out the rest of the room. He reaches up, telegraphing his movements, and Kim sucks in a breath, a feeling almost like relief bubbling up in him.
“Here P’Kim– let me?”
Kim nods, swallowing. Chay reaches up and slowly takes one earring out, his hands gently grazing across his ear. It’s a delicate whisper of a touch, but it’s ruinous all the same.
Kim ducks his head further, allowing Chay to press against his jaw, move his face in the other direction, getting access to his other ear, Chay’s just as gentle, fingers sure, brushing against the corner of his jaw, his lobe.
Kim’s head feels fogged up. He watches Chay from under his lashes.
It’s quick, barely a few seconds. Chay is handing the jewelry to the staff, offering apologies and thanks. P’Bank and Ploy are giving each other looks, eyebrows raised.
Kim ignores them. He’s feeling a bit too exposed, his ears tingling. He crosses the room, out to the far corner. P’Mod is there, typing something rapidly into her phone. She looks up at him.
“I don’t consent.”
Kim scowls, staring at her. What?
P’Mod points at Chay across the room, then back at him. “Whatever that was? I don't consent. Keep it off work hours. The whole set doesn’t need to be dragged into your domestication routine.”
Kim stares at her in confusion. His what now?
-
In that scene I got to fit in a bunch of things I like, Kim's vulnerability, and Chay's observation skills on being able to pick up on that. Having their very obvious PDA/connection being on show to the rest of the set. Then Chay's (protective) manipulation of the situation, leading to more intimacy. And then wrapping it up with my own sense of humour with P'Mod just verbally destroying Kim at the end lol
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Thank you so much for this wonderful ask, @frostbitebakery (and sorry for somehow losing the original message)!!! It was a treat to get to reflect on this. I love most of my children mostly equally most of the time, but I tried to pick five fics (one each from five ships) that have a special place in my heart.
Citation Needed (MCU, Stony), co-written with @festiveferret
Professor AU where Tony is a history prof trying to track down an obscure reference to “Project Rebirth” while also avoiding the irritating new hire in Fine Arts, Dr. Grant. I can honestly say this is the most fun I’ve had writing a fic: collaborating with Ferret was a delight and a dream, the worldbuilding was a really exciting puzzle to put together, and I got to write some punishingly niche jokes that I will admit still make me laugh.
Longing (MCU, Sambucky)
In which Sam gets pulled into a memory machine and Bucky goes after him. This fic was such a stretch for me in so many ways: technically, characterologically, emotionally. One of my goals was to explore some of the moments (canon and extra-canon) that make Sam into the character we see in TFATWS. It was the first time I really felt like I'd gotten possessed by a story, and it's still stuck very deep in my feels. There's a sequence in chapter three, starting with the moment in the desert, that felt like an absolute sprint of joy to write.
Recollection (The Clone Wars, Codywan)
Or, Purge Trooper Cody and the Eternal Sunshine of the Reconditioned Mind. Speaking of stories that stretched my abilities, I had laughably little idea how complicated this fic was going to be to orchestrate when I conceived of the idea. It was a juicy challenge for my brain and also a tough challenge for my heart, because I fell into a new level of love for Cody at the same time that I was putting him through the wringer. One of the best parts of the experience was how many moments surprised me - like the final line of dialogue in the bunk sequence in chapter three, which I did not have in mind at all when I started writing the scene but ended up being one of my all-time favorite lines.
Aller-Retour (Andor, Melshian)
a.k.a. 5 times Melshi and Cassian helped each other return from a mission + 1 time they helped someone else get started. The cliff scene in episode 1.11 of Andor took me out at the knees, and this fic gave me a chance to explore what it might look like for Melshi and Cassian to keep holding each other up during their years in the Rebellion. The scenes of caretaking not only fulfilled my personal, insatiable need for hurt/comfort but also gave me a space to process something I've been working through in all of my Melshian fics: what it looks like to love someone in the face of losing them.
When the Time Comes (Top Gun, Hangster and Bradley & Mav)
a.k.a. 5 times someone held Bradley + 1 time he held someone else. This is the most personal fic I’ve ever written, and I honestly did not expect that to happen with Top Gun, but grief is a strange beast, and I truly loved writing this.
---
Thank you again, for the ask, Frost!!! This was really fun to put together. <3<3<3
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for the get to know your fic writer thing- 3, 7, 17, and 11!
(3 - Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic)
(7 - How do you choose which POV to write from?)
(17 - What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)
(11 - Link your three favorite fics right now)
This answer got a little long uh. oops! ^^" Here's my silly answer, but my more in depth answers will be below the cut
3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic
Usually it starts with a little idea in my brain. A "gosh wouldn't this be such an interesting/ fun scenario?" They're usually just for me to play in my own brain as bedtime stories, and nothing more. But sometimes I'm hit with that itch to write and get something out there.
I do what I like to call "word vomit." Just. Writing whatever the hell comes to my mind. Here are some examples I found in my doc that make me laugh looking back now
The beginning phase is just me going ham!! Throwing ideas at the wall, typing whatever's in my head without spell check or care. Like i'm writing notes to myself.
After that I do "scenes." Basically just breaking down big moments of the fic that I have in my head and writing them down. You know those moments/ideas that you come up with in your head that you can't stop relaying? That.
After that it's just connecting the dots, making everything fit together. I like to think of it like painting. Mixing together colors, seeing what fits and what doesn't, using different brushes. Sometimes I'll get through a scene and realize I'm rambling too much, it has too much dialogue, it doesn't make sense with the story- so I scrap that piece or find a way to save it for a different part of the story.
Then editing. A lot of editing. And hating what I wrote, wondering why people like it. Leaving the canvas alone for a while, coming back and going "actually i really like this. this is so fucking cool, especially for what i have planned at the end hehehe" Sometimes I polish it up in a way that i like, sometimes I go "fuck it. it's good enough"
And THEN it's done :)
7. How do you choose which POV to write from?
It's a few factors! Sometimes it's based on what I think would be fun (ex: "What if I wrote a fanfiction from Sonic's perspective. What might he have been thinking/ going through?") But sometimes it's what I want my readers to see.
Like, in the last chapter of "You are at your lowest", I wrote in Rouge's perspective during her meet-up with a certain character. That's because I intentionally didn't want the audience to have the other character's P.O.V. I wanted to leave readers wondering/ guessing/ confused.
17 - What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)
Depends!! If I'm not feeling inspired, I'll usually check on Tumblr or instagram to get back in the mood/ vibe or read some comments that people have left!! They really pull my head out of a dull space when i need it :) <3 If I've got writer's block, I'll either take weeks off writing or force myself to sit down and just write, no matter how bad it is. Then I just work with what I have.
11. Link your three favorite fics right now
aaaaaaa ok i love reccing fics and i have a lot but here's a few:
Slumber Party by Detton
Summary: Edward Richtofen and his traveling partner, "Tank" Dempsey try to survive in an ice apocalypse.
It's been years since i've played CoD- probably almost a decade, now- but a while ago went looking for Zombies fics for the nostalgia of it. And ough, this fic has my heart!! A Dempsey/Richtofen WIP that includes the main four and their interactions in an ice apocalypse. i just really like it a lot, and if this is your thing, i recommend it!! It's super sweet, and has superb writing 👌
The Buzzsaw Dilemma by redpenship
Summary: How do you stop an unstoppable force?
Three weeks after meeting Sonic, Tails is kidnapped by Doctor Eggman and tasked with building a machine capable of defeating the hedgehog. His success marks his first day as the doctor's secret apprentice, in which he must help the Eggman Empire against his will.
Tails becomes determined to use what little power he has to reduce the empire’s harm. When larger threats arise, he realizes that he can use his influence to save the world—and if all goes well, destroy the empire from the inside out, too.
If only alien invasions didn’t make things so complicated.
OUOSUDHFSFHSDH OBSESSED!!! oh man, a WIP about Tails being forced to help Eggman, and I'm super stoked to see where it goes. But heed the tags, because it does say "Major Character Death" and "Animal death"!! I'm so enthralled by the world building and reading this take on Sonic and Tails. Brainworms!!
Lastly I'm gonna link Sometimes the Picket Fence isn't Perfect by @skimmingmilk. It's a whole series on Sonic and Tails finessing their way past Mobian CPS and it's just so hasdkasdbkhas.
i'm still getting caught up, but i watched the last bit of the latest work being written on stream a few days ago and i 🥹🥺😭 they're so cute. They're brothers your honor!!
#answers#seeing soulkiah in my inbox i 😳 lol thanks for the ask!!#SORRY THIS TOOK HOURS TO ANSWER LMAO#i had so so so much fun answering this one!!!! aaa i really wanted to talk about my writing process#i am. so sleepy. but im so down for continuing answering more of these through the weekend!#ok goodnight cleveland#edit: RIP I TAGGED THE WRONG BLOG TOT my baaadddd
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I saw someone ask how many chapters you think Who Holds the Devil will be, and it got me thinking about how long (word wise) it might actually end up being since it’s already ~270K. This fic is a monster where it currently stands and if there’s still a lot left to go, the final word count might be insane. It makes me curious as to what the longest fic you’ve ever written was. Have you ever written a singular fic as big as this one before? What’s the most challenging part of writing stories this big? Is it outlining, continuity, or is it less to do with the story itself and more to do with things like potential burnout etc.?
(Okay, so, this is going to be quite long (which is very on-brand), perhaps a little more detailed than you asked for, and also delve into my insecurities in a way that might be TMI. Read at your own risk x'D)
Yeah, I can't say for sure how many chapters I'll write or how high the final word count will be, but it's definitely going to be a very, very long fic.
As for other fics I've written, my very first fanfic was a series (three parts that tell an overarching story, plus nine bonus chapters) that clocks in at 290k. And, after that, I've written two more than go past the 100k mark, one at 183k (if you count the bonus chapters) and another that lands at 127k. So writing long fics isn't anything new to me, but Who Holds the Devil is definitely the longest so far.
As for the most challenging part, that differs depending on the story. That first fic I wrote was a Teen Wolf one where I basically did a third season (before the actual third season aired) and the challenge was definitely the continuity, keeping all the details in order (both from canon and my own creations), and making sure to write the frankly rather big cast of characters in a believable way. It was meant to be a cohesive story that spanned over three parts, but each part also had to have its own internal structure and climax, slowly building up to the big finale in the third instalment. Hilariously enough, I was too young and dumb to even realise how big of an undertaking that was and just kept writing, blissfully unaware of my own hubris. And, somehow, I pulled it off.
But in hindsight? I was nothing short of insane. Especially considering my, at the time, untested skills at actually finishing a story of that length — in English, to boot, which isn't even my native language. I had written original stories before that, some of which were quite long, but none of that size or complexity. Like, I'm not sure I would dare try that now, even with the added experience and skills I've accumulated since then x'D
Sometimes, ignorance truly is bliss.
Anyhow, the more I write, the easier the outlining, continuity, pacing, characters etc. gets so that's rarely a problem. And a lot of that has always come naturally to me in a way I can't really explain. Like, that 183k fic? I wrote that entirely without a timeline, outline, or notes. I just kept it all in my head and went by instinct and, somehow, never had to go back and correct a mistake — not even once. Which is kind of wild when I look back on it (not to mention reckless) but yeah. And the fic is Autonomy, for those of you wondering.
I don't know what it's like for others, but I rarely get stuck on planning and outlining. I usually just figure out a beginning and a couple of key scenes and off I go. And then everything just falls into place as I keep writing, sort of outlining itself without conscious effort from me, long before I actually reach that point in the story (my brain works faster than my hands, I guess? xD). So I usually figure out the ending before I reach the halfway point and then it's just a matter of filling in the empty spaces in between. And, somehow, my brain just automatically manages to figure out the pacing, continuity, and details without me having to pay attention. Don't ask me how that works, it just does x'D
Since it's so much bigger, I do have a timeline for Who Holds the Devil, though, to keep track of where we are and remember important dates (like Go Eun's birthday! :D) as well as a document with notes for future scenes. But that's mostly because I got so excited about some of them and wanted to write down all the cool dialogue before I accidentally forgot it.
So I would say that the more experience I get, it's definitely not the story itself that makes writing long fics difficult — that part is honestly the easy one. Burnout is definitely a factor, though, especially for a fic of this length. Basically, I'm a sprinter, not a marathon runner. I will usually write a lot of words in a short period of time, then have long stretches when I write nothing at all. If I divide my total word count from last year, I actually wrote over 500 words a day, except it's usually more along the lines of 6k three days in a row, then nothing for three weeks x'D
Anyway, since I know this about myself, I usually never start posting a fic until I've finished writing it, since there might otherwise be months without updates. But I obviously had to change that with Who Holds the Devil and that has proven a bit of a challenge, I will admit. I'm not used to regular or even semi-regular updates like this, so I've had to change my habits quite a lot. But I still make sure to recognise when I have to take longer breaks (which does happen, usually after a very intense portion of the fic) just to let my brain cool down a little.
Fortunately, since I'm very goal-oriented, I never lose sight of what I'm doing, however, even during these breaks. I'm not someone who needs to feel inspired or motivated to keep writing, so I can just pick it up again whenever I like. That's not to say I force myself to write, but I can usually trick myself into getting excited enough to continue simply by taking myself over that first hurdle when everything just feels boring and uninteresting.
I'm stubborn as all hell, is what I'm saying, which is definitely useful when writing long fics.
Because, at a certain point, you're going to need more than just inspiration and eagerness if you want to finish. I have not written a single long fic during which I didn't have a moment — often more than one — where I questioned if I truly wanted to continue or not, either because I was at a boring part of the story or felt overwhelmed by the thought of how much further I had to go.
And that's honestly the most challenging part with Who Holds the Devil. I'm confident in my writing, my characterisation, my ideas, and even my plot, but sometimes when I look at my notes and see how much more I have to write, all I feel is doubt. And, in an interesting turn of events, it's not even my own commitment I'm doubting, but everyone else's.
I know I can get through this and stick with this fic to the bitter end, but can you?
Now, don't misunderstand me — my readers don't owe me anything. You can stop reading any time and you should if you're not enjoying the story, but I would be lying if I said that the amount of criticism and questions I get about the length isn't beginning to wear me down. It makes me second-guess every single choice I've made about the plot, pacing, and overall tone of the story.
At the same time, of course I get why people ask. Some want to know when they can start reading because WIPs are scary (I can totally relate) and these readers have no reason to trust me when I say that I will finish this fic, come hell or high water. Heck, I've already lost two grandparents during the writing of this fic and I'm still going. I even tried to write one chapter while sitting at my grandmother's bedside, waiting for her to die (bad idea in hindsight, my writing was very incoherent — do not recommend).
But it's not like everyone who runs across my fic automatically knows that. They don't know me so of course they'll ask, not knowing that they're the fifth person to do so in less than two months. And that kind of hurts.
And I won't deny that there's probably a bit of pride involved as well — it's annoying to have people question my choices — but, more than anything, it's telling me that I must be doing something wrong. My readers don't trust me. And, well, that's kind of alarming as a writer, when the whole point is to take someone on a ride and they keep asking you for directions or "are we there yet?"
Clearly, I'm doing something wrong.
Now, this is not EVERYONE. I have so, so many lovely readers who enjoy both the insane length and glacial slow burn of this fic — I know that. But there's always a niggling doubt at the back of my mind that I'm eventually going to alienate every single reader because this fic is just Too Long. Or that they'll simply give up on the story since it's going to take us beyond Yo Han and Ga On kissing. Like, this fic isn't just about the two of them getting together, but also how they'll make their relationship work in the long term with their individual and shared baggage taken into account. It's going to continue long past the point of them kissing for the first time, as well as them having sex for the first time.
And a lot of people lose interest after the first kiss or the first sex scene. Which is fine — each to their own — but it's very disheartening to be told that as the author. I've had people ask me in what chapter they'll finally kiss so they can jump to that chapter and ignore the rest. I've had people tell me they're going to stop reading because they just can't stand the annoyingly slow burn anymore. I've had people tell me the fic is already too long for them to read and, here I am, knowing it'll take a lot more words to even come close to finishing it.
And that, at least in the case with Who Holds the Devil, is the biggest challenge — to stay motivated and committed when more and more people are telling me I'm not doing this right. It's daunting enough as a writer to look at your fic and realise that, damn, I have such a long way to go, without also having people tell you, to your face, that, yeah, that's way too fucking long, what the fuck are you doing?
It makes you wonder why you should even keep going, especially when you know how much time and effort you're going to have to devote to the project.
What's the point?
Because despite all the lovely comments I get, praising the level of detail and how realistic everything feels, we all know that negative comments have a tendency to stick with us longer. I can't ignore them even if I desperately want to. And, to make matters worse, not all of them are even intended to be mean. Some just want to know how long the fic will be — which is fully reasonable. But those entirely reasonable questions just pile on top of this mountain of doubt I already have, telling me that this is all pointless. My commitment to this fic is a mistake. I'm wasting my time. It's not Good Enough. It's Too Long.
Now, all that said, I love Who Holds the Devil. I love exploring the characters and the story, and I honestly don't think I'll stop writing it. Because, cliché as it might sound, I do write for myself, not others. I share with others because I know people like my writing, but I'd still be writing even if no one wants to read it. So, worst-case scenario, if people are no longer interested, I'll just keep writing it but will stop posting.
Because, when it comes down to it, I don't need validation to write. I can write in complete solitude. As mentioned, I usually finish a fic before posting, which means I've sometimes completed a 60k fic without a single word of encouragement from another person. I LOVE validation, as most writers do, but I don't actually need it to keep working on a project.
Interestingly, what I'm seeing with Who Holds the Devil, is that too much attention can, apparently, instead make me doubt my commitment to a project in a way that's honestly pretty fascinating? I felt more confident about the fic BEFORE I started posting it, BEFORE I knew if anyone would even want to read it x'D
Now is when I feel the doubt, because what these comments are telling me is that, sure, a lot of people would want to read this fic, but it's too long so now they're not gonna. And, in many ways, that feels like a failure on my part, even if I of course know that tastes differ, we can't please everyone etc. etc.
Tell that to my anxiety.
So yeah. For me, personally, it's definitely outside things that make writing long fics difficult, more specifically opinions from other people that make me doubt my skill level, intentions with the fic, and if it's even worth writing in the first place. I'm actually pretty confident about the rest and, even if I struggle sometimes, I can usually push my way through those issues.
Sidenote: As someone who likes to analyse people's behaviour (including my own), it's pretty fascinating to realise that my biggest issue isn't that I feel pressured to produce more or post on a certain schedule — which is what most fanfic authors struggle with — but that I might, in fact, be doing too much? My fic is just too goddamn long for people to handle.
Like, you gotta admit — that's pretty funny xD
Anyway. All of that said, know that I don't regret writing Who Holds the Devil and that I certainly don't regret posting it. I also have every intention of finishing it and I doubt I'll actually reach a point where I'll stop posting. As long as there's even one person out there who enjoys reading the fic, that's enough for me to keep posting.
So to all of you out there — especially if you happen to be one of those who just casually asked me how long the fic will be without knowing all of this shit — I'm fine. I'm not angry or upset with you. I know the majority of you love the fic and wouldn't want me to change a thing. I also know that these insecurities of mine are… well, not unreasonable, but I don't need to listen to them. And I try my best not to (it's just difficult some days, you know?)
So, to finish this off, just know that I love you, appreciate you, and have no regrets. And thank you so, so much for reading my fic, even if it's long, and taking the time to comment, kudos, or even just gush about it with your friends. To know that my writing brings joy to other people and that it can help support you through difficult times or make your day better is the best feeling ever.
Thank you 💜
… also, chapter 29 will probably be another 15k one, because fuck my life x'D
#Amethystina Replies#stl29tide#Who Holds the Devil#This hit me where it hurts#Can you tell? x'D#But I want to reiterate#I'm fine#Doubts and insecurities are normal#I know that#But it gets exhausting in the end#Especially when they pile up like this#But I'm stubborn#I'll get through it
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Hi :) do you know some Star Trek books you could recommend? I've heard some of them aren't great so I was a little hesitant to go through all of them
I DO have Trek book recs! I imagine you're asking for novels &co. and not, for example, titles like “The Fifty-Year Mission” or “The DS9 Companion” which are non-fiction books concerned with the production of the shows (but in any case the two I've cited are my favorites and I think especially the first one is a clear recommendation for any Trekkie). Also caveat that... I've not read that many novels either because, like you, I'm kinda skittish about wading through them all, especially after I've encountered a few really terrible ones.
Anyway here goes, divided in in 'Novels', 'Things that aren't novels but I recommend anyway' and a few titles on my TBR list that sound good and I feel confident suggesting even if I haven't gotten around to reading them yet.
Novels
The Lives of Dax (short story anthology, 1999) This is unquestionably still my favorite fiction tie-in for the Trek universe. Not all stories are good (Emony's and Curzon's are especially bad) but the ones I like are truly outstanding to me and inform my understanding of the Dax hosts to this day. I love the fact that it's framed as Ezri remembering various events of her previous lives. It's an easy read, given the format, and if you're willing to be patient with some stories the other ones will totally deliver, imho!
Catalyst of Sorrows by Margaret Wander Bonanno (2004) This book is part of 'The Lost Era' series, which tried to fill in the gap between the TOS movies and TNG. This one in particular is wild; main cast includes Uhura, Crusher, Sisko and Tuvok (the latter two going on a road trip!) and it's also a fairly deep dive into Romulan society written by someone who was obviously a DS9 fan. This was recommended to me many years ago by @senyorspock and if you like Senator Cretak from S7 of DS9 this is definitely a book you want to read.
Worlds of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Volume Two (anthology, 2005) I have mixed feelings about some of the directions taken by the two novels in this book but I think they're ultimately both enjoyable and contain some fun and poignant elements (the scene where Ezri visits Jadzia's grave on Trill is permanently engraved in my brain). If you like Trills and the Sisko family I definitely recommend this book.
Hollow Men by Una McCormack (2005) This novel is a fun follow-up to "In The Pale Moonlight" and while it is a little too concerned with sympathizing with poor little meow meow Garak for my taste (I realize here my opinion differs from most other DS9 fans) I still liked for its explorations of Benjamin Sisko's state of mind at the height of the Dominion War. Also I ugly laughed at every scene Sisko and Garak have together, I do enjoy when they butt heads but still need each other... it is a well-written book!
String Theory - Cohesion by Jeffrey Lang (2005) Unlike the others this is strictly a Voyager novel, set in the Delta Quadrant. This book gets... a little bogged down by its own cleverness sometimes but the author was clearly concerned with science and world-building making sense, which I can't argue against. But you're not here for this: the best part of the book is B'Elanna and Seven getting stranded on the surface of a planet and being forced to form a 'collective of two' in order to survive. It goes as well as you can expect (yes they absolutely still manage to fight even when telepathically linked), and it is amazing. I don't always agree with their characterization here but this novel is, to me, the episode with a B'Elanna&Seven B-plot that we never got on the show. (This book is also the first of a trilogy but I found the second one unreadable and I hear the third completely ditches the themes established by the first two, so.)
Spock's World by Diane Duane (1988) This novel is a classic for a reason. I wholeheartedly recommend it even if a lot of the Vulcan world-building & characterization in it isn't strictly canon anymore. I love the way it alternates between the present and the past of Vulcan, and the Enterprise. The history of the planet is told through episodes but they are so effective in explaining why Vulcans are the way they are. If you've never read a Trek novel before and you love TOS, definitely start here.
I have a soft spot for the novelizations of Star Trek II, III, and IV by Vonda McIntyre, which contain some amazing backstory for Saavik and how she came to be Spock's protégée, as well as generally offering interesting characterization for side characters that the movies had no time to explore. Not all of it is still canon, given that they were written in the early eighties, but it's not a deal-breaker to me.
Things that aren't novels but I recommend anyway
Star Trek: Waypoint (Issues 1-6, which you can find in a single volume), Waypoint special and Waypoint special (2019). These are the BEST Trek comics, period. It's all short stories about the cast of the shows up to Enterprise, and the quality is amazingly high, consistently so. I'm not a big comic person and yet these get to me every time.
Hidden Universe Travel Guide: Vulcan (2016) and The Klingon Empire (2017), both by Dayton Ward. Okay I just... love the concept of these lol. They're travel guides! For Vulcan and the Klingon Empire! Neither takes itself too seriously (there are chapters such as 'So You Want To Purge All Of Your Emotions') but it's a nice riff on the Trek universe, and they're beautifully illustrated. Characters from all shows will occasionally chime in suggest their favorite places to visit, too, which was a pleasant surprise. For someone like me who has trouble coming up with world-building stuff on my own, both books have been giving me plenty of inspiration (of course I don't always agree with the way things are framed but hey, I didn't expect them to be perfect!)
In my TBR list
Dark Passions Vol 1 and 2 by Susan Wright. Wright wrote one of my fave stories from “The Lives of Dax” and these two novels sound absolutely wild, I can't wait to read about all the mirror versions of the Voyager characters
Time's Enemy by L. A. Graf. This collective of writers wrote arguably the best story in “The Lives of Dax” and they seem to share many of my sensibilities when it comes to writing these characters so I've been meaning to read this DS9 novel for a while!
The Rihannsu novels by Diane Duane, which are THE Romulan novels par excellence, I believe, but I still haven't gotten around to reading them somehow
Worlds of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Volume Three simply because I just found a paperback of it recently, and it sounds interesting
#trek novels#askbox#thank you for the question i always enjoy talking about trek novels#i have read many more than these but the others i really didn't like so#anyway check the replies for other suggestions!
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Okay! Since Eisoptrophobia is done I wanted to talk about it a little!
This is just gonna be me pointing out some things and the wacky symbolism that was in my head while making it, going page by page.
Title- The title page is an allusion to that one Candy Cadet story (with the kittens and the snake you know the one). The main idea behind the comic was that Henry was aware of what William was doing the whole time and this little story encaptulates that idea. The title itself is a reference to the UCN select screen music (as well as the idea that Will and Henry mirror each other).
Page 1: Not much to say about this other than one of my friends said it looks like Will is smoking a fat dart and it led to this image:
Page 2: I wanted to keep the horrid things that happened to these kids as ambiguous as possible (cus I think that's when FNaF's horror is at its best). Cass' whole deal is that her death was especially violent and cruel so I gave her the classic 'eyes and teeth poking out' treatment to make it up to her. Henry is grayed out in these flashback bits cus he's the fella from fnaf world (and also very sad).
Page 3: The more simplified Springy and child on the security footage was meant to evoke those weird minigames cus thats what they always felt like to me. Also you cant see his face but hello Clayton from the books.
Page 4: Those two streaks down the side with the rain are meant to look like the puppets tears :) I don't have to explain why will is purple, and smiling, and being the worst.
Page 5: I like this one lots :) Get compared, losers. Will and Henry are like the same guy to me.
Page 6: My favourite character the SCUPER. I really like the idea that Henry either aided in the creation of or fully constructed the funtimes. Just to add to that guilt. The pendulum is another FNaF World reference. Will is doing that thing where you hold your fingers over someones head to evoke rabbit ears.
Page 7: So this page is the scene in FNaF World where the guy at the desk uses Baby to try and take his own life. This is before she was possessed (hense the blue eyes) and related in my brain to Henry's insanity ending monolouge (where he compares what Will did to him as a wound that wouldn't stop bleeding). Now, I think Henry did die here, but got remnant revived like Mikey was. That's why his text goes red (he is fueled by rage).
Page 8: OLD MAN HAND (his fingers are purpled and his nails are yellow cus of the corpse thing).
Page 9: WAS THAT THE BITE OF '87?!?!?!? Also Phone Guy's death. The framing looks like tear streeks again. It's showing how Henry's actions have hurt people the same way Will's have.
Page 10: Henry gets to find a bit of humour in this, as a treat. His tie is puppet themed.
Page 11: He always comes back or whatever and Henry knows that. He's also pissed off. His eyes also have a little X in them :)
Page 12: They're a little gay I can't help myself. I've always liked Henry's use of religious language in regards to Will specifically. He's closing the door on him in that last pannel.
End: This one is double the length cus I wanted Will to have the space to manic laugh. Will also doesn't take Henry's threat very seriously (that's why he hangs around in FFPS and fucking dies). Is him calling Henry a friend mocking? Does he actually believe it? Does he mean it like 'friend'? It is all and non of these. It also mirrors the first page. We start with Will in the suit and we end with Will in the suit.
And that's it! This project has been a lot of work but very rewarding. I've been thinking about doing something like this since FFPS dropped so I'm glad to finaly get this out of my system. It's been very fun :)
#eisoptrophobia tag#thanks for reading this I just wanted to share my thought processes here#cus i enjoyed the process so much#fnaf#suicide tw#five nights at freddy's#henry emily#william afton
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I’d love to hear more about your writing and drafting process!! Also ⭐️ for any fic of your choosing :)
My writing and drafting process? In short: unreliable.
Like, listen...... I love writing. But my life is such an absolute clusterfuck right now that I have an entirely unconscionably small amount of time to do it. I feel like I barely have time for the things I absolutely need to do. So while I may get struck with ideas that completely take over any and all higher brain functions, I inevitably have to set them down into some sort of draft or outline or just a sentence if I'm really pressed for time (or just tired).
If I can sit down long enough to properly outline, I try to divide into chapters or at least manageable sections so that I can get a structure going from the beginning. Sometimes the beginning and end is more clearly thought out than the middle and I just have to put in an estimated number of chapters and fill out or prune as the story develops.
I do enjoy having things written out as much as possible before posting when it comes to multichapter fics but that... kinda crashed and burned with camboy, honestly. I thought it'd be one chapter, then two chapters, then "fuck if I know"-chapters but at least I had an outline and then my life went kind of off the rails a little and I had to change writing from "a thing I usually have time for" to "a thing I will do if neither work, nor school, nor life in general takes absolute precedence". I am hopinghopinghoping that once I am done with my degree and only need to wrangle work and a very different kind of life compared to before, writing will again become a thing I can devote time to more consistently.
When I write, it's usually in short and intensive bursts, and I've found I often rally around a key scene, either vibing off it and seeing where it takes me, or I work towards it because it might be the last scene of the chapter and it's a nice carrot to make me fill in the blank space between where I am and where I want to be.
For a scene I have been dying to talk about... In sä saat mut, I mentioned at the end that there was an Easter egg in the fic, but no one has yet made a guess. I may have made it more obscure than anticipated. So here, have it:
It's Jere humming along to songs on the radio while they're driving and smiling like there is a private joke wrapped up in one of them.
The song that Jere smiles about is Kuumaa's "Ylivoimainen". During UMK23 when the artists got to listen to each others' songs, one of his more memorable reactions was that Kuumaa's song was something he'd listen to if he "ever took someone home on a night out". Which. Yes, Jere. You sure did.
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