#this is ALSO an old doodle that took me more than half a year to get around to coloring. that i ALSO forgot to post here LMAODFJSI
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DEEP💥SPACE💥PLANET💥FUTURE💥GUN💥ACTION❗️
#trigun#trigun maximum#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#this is ALSO an old doodle that took me more than half a year to get around to coloring. that i ALSO forgot to post here LMAODFJSI#help. i rly went out of my incredibly small comfort zone for this one (background. text graphics. VASH'S COATTAILS)#i almost died like 30 TIMES drawing vash's coat oh my lord.#vash the stampede your swag is impeccable BUT I HATE DRAWING YOUR FREAKING COAT!!!!!!!!#anyways. i've always wanted to yank those ribbons/straps on his back. that is the inspiration here#pls continue to make jokes about him being a designer bag bc i've seen some on ig and twt and i love them thank you
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I don't know much about you as a person, but from what I can gather you've had a long journey with art, but still have the motivation to continue even when its rough. I'm sure you didn't start out making masterpieces, so if its not too much trouble, do you have any advice for a 16 year old artist losing motivation? i feel like im stagnating right now and its awful
Idk man, all I can say is, draw watchu want without the care who's gonna see it or what they gonna say , commit to new ideas and care less about pleasing everyone, because I know that way too well, I started learning by drawing animals, flowers and nature, "you should draw something else", switches to furries " No you must do human portraits", draws humans *no one fuckin cares*, and I felt miserable drawing what I didn't want all the damn time just trying to please everyone and be liked, hell, I still do that sometimes cuz I'm a dumbass. When in reality, when you do your own thing is when you're the happiest, this internet bullshit? Yeah don't trust the likes and favs, people like what they find relatable, no one really knows how much time you've spent on your drawing or how much you love it, when a 5 min doodle you did could do more than a painting that took 2 whole days to complete just to be scrapped in a new speedy record, paint what you love for yourself and you only.
Don't be shy to learn new things, I have tons of stuff I don't post here cuz I know people wouldn't care about it, but here for this post, have this that I practiced when I felt too depressed to think of anything good and wanted to step back from the MD artstyle
You'll see, you'll thrive when you draw what you want, and get yourself a drawing buddy! That way you'll stop focusing on the internet and more on each other, and each other's improvement. Tbh I struggled with that one. Since everyone I had were not into art irl, I somehow managed to find someone after 10 years of drawing alone. I honestly wanted more people to join in and make an improvement circle, but unfortunately that never happened.
I found myself twice as productive now than ever, even though I'm not active here as much I am still drawing and making things, ofc giving you more comics! And other fun things in the future I hope.
If you're struggling to draw something just do it, man commit, i was uncomfortable drawing men and male characters for years, I've wasted so many years being "too uncomfortable" and draw a naked person like yeesh who fucking cares, it's for studying.
And ofc if you feel like you're not improving at all please, please experiment with your artstyle and try something new, please refresh your mind, I was stuck for years doing the same thing over and over, same colors, same 2px brush, drawing like a machine same shit over and over, I felt so stuck and lost, but also afraid to do something new, idk why, I guess I never felt good enough or deserving of it. I also didn't go to art school, I am NOT a professional, nor will i ever be in my opinion. Hell, me feeling like I'll never be good enough left me afraid to try and apply for art school, they were asking for sculptures, different mediums all that scary stuff and I was like, I don't.. know.. how to do those things... I can't build a portfolio in less than 3 months?!?! I don't even know how to use half of what they're asking for!!
In reality at the end of the day, art is what you make of it and no one can stop you, search for inspirations and don't be afraid to try, yes you'll fail fist 2 or 10 or hell even 100 times, but you'll come back with more knowledge than ever.
For ending I give you the most confusing drawing to ever exist [dw he's just sleeping on top of her and she's just ghasping for air but awe romance or sum lol] is it weird? Yeah but I had a fun time making it hahaha
Idk I'm bad at putting my thoughts together, but hopefully some of this helps.
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Pleeeease do tell me more about Francis. Why did he leave the Children? Why did he join them in the first place? What did he do down in that bunker for three years, and what was getting out like? How did he meet the companions he hangs around with?
so, i'm gonna go in order of the timeline of events in his life.
and please forgive some mistakes in the writing, i unfortunately didn't luck out with my abilities, and don't usually write anything more than footnotes. though i'm hoping the more I write out posts like this, the better i'll get :)
I also made goofy doodles to accompany the writing to compensate, and to better visualize what i'm trying to convey.
growing up, he mostly drifted from place to place with his family, which mostly consisted of him, his aunt, uncle, and two other cousins of his. his aunt adopted him at a very, very young age.
they mostly kept to DC, but eventually wanted to travel more east.
eventually though, due to family drama and disagreements, his family disbanded and he just traveled with his aunt. His aunt was VERY close with the rest of his family, so their departure took a toll on her.
she was pretty desperate to fill the void that was left, so when the children of atom offered relief from the feeling of abandonment, it didn't take much convincing.
the only catch was they had to leave DC and join the expedition to the commonwealth.
so, how did Francis join the children of atom?
Francis was about 18 at the time, and was used to just- going wherever his aunt went. so he didn't really question it and tagged along. He listened to the preachings and started to buy into the ideology himself. his aunt began to firmly believe too, so that helped condition Francis.
why did he eventually leave?
he left at the age of 20, knowing damn well what the cult does to dissenters. he was aiming to make it all the way back to DC and rejoin his family, but without the travel supplies that isn't realistically possible.
plus he's never been to Boston before, so he had no idea what direction to go in.
what did he do for 3 years?
he managed to wander his way to sanctuary, where he met Nate. (who i decided to make into an old ghoul, who protected vault 111 from the outside. he believed in the rumor that the vault was a cryo-facility, and that comforted him.)
Francis was half-dead when he wandered onto Nate's front yard, but Nate is nice and saw Francis as the exact opposite of a threat. think a newborn puppy on freshly polished tile.
he offered Francis his own bomb-shelter to stay in, taught him how to cook (which ended up being a new hobby for Francis.)
Nate is like a dad to him, so it worked out nicely.
Francis has high perception, and he's not stupid. (he just has TERRIBLE charisma)
so, with his S.P.E.C.I.A.L. attributes in mind, He began to question the fact Nate had never opened the vault, and tried to convince Nate to finally check in on his family. Nate refused at first, but after sleeping on the idea, he agreed.
only to be met with the realization that his spouse was mysteriously murdered, son kidnapped, and only a recording of the crime. (thanks alternate start mod)
baffled by the fact that nobody ever opened the vault doors since the bombs fell, and now troubled with grief, Nate struggled to even face it all.
Francis, wanting to repay Nate for giving him a place to live comfortably and safe from the cult who may use him to set an example for others who are thinking of turning their back on atom- promised that he'll seek out Nora's murderer, and most importantly, find their infant son.
where the rest of the game's plot plays out.
one thing to note though is his face markings. like the third eye of atom and the other rings around his face. usually its just makeup in game, but francis, at the time, wanted to prove his devotion in the most... non-lethal way he could think of. and so he got it basically tattooed. talk about regretful tattoos.
with all that backstory being said, Francis is pretty happy most of the time!
sure, he's been through a lot, but he tries to see the positives in things. his main goal in life, during the acts in the main story, is to just finally have a place he can call home. maybe one with a comfy couch and a nice garden.
#my art#doodles#fallout 4#ocs#francis#long post#i hope this isnt too much info at once!#having to restrain my impulse to dump as much information as possible#mainly because i dont want to answer everything at once#where theres no questions left for him#i know it all REEKS of fanfic but its fun#hopefully things become more coherent the more i make these :)
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Hii me again. I'm not sure if I sent the ask I'm talking about on anon, so maybe that's why you didn't see it? It partially got answered with a recent ask you got anyway so no worries. I was just wondering if you use 3d in your process and if so, how? I've seen other illustrators use it to varying degrees and it seems like a really helpful tool to push your work.
Oh that's so weird! No I periodically go through my asks in chunks and I didn't see anything like that. I've had a few people in the past few months send me asks that looked like the second half of something else with no context, so maybe it's Tumblr fuckery. Sorry!!
I recommend learning Blender so you can help sculpt shapes and render lighting onto them in order to get the weirder/more complex shadows right. You can also apply colors onto the things you sculpt in order to see how the colors act in different lighting. It's pretty much an invaluable tool to me as it keeps me from having to problem-solve too much. I did a lot of digging around in my house to build references to photograph but it was just impractical to achieve the things I want to a lot of the time. I still do that, and you would not believe how many goofy photos I have of my husband in the poses you've seen me paint Astarion in lmao...
I do think that it needs to be used in moderation if you are a more beginner artist- I think that using 3D is DANGEROUSLY close to becoming a massive crutch for a newer artist and improper usage or over reliance on it can lead to stiffness or artificial looking colors. You need to be able to train your eye to create compelling compositions by bashing things together, and train your hand to replicate/add/subtract as needed from your references with an organic feel.
I will say this as a total committer of this crime myself in the past, it's VERY easy to tell when an artist relies too much on, for example, Clip Studio Paint posed models as bases for pieces without a good enough grasp on their fundamentals. And I also used to prickle when I saw more advanced artists warn of this, so I do think maybe it just has to run its course sometimes, because I know that using 3D for reference seems like an easy-button.
I've taken a lot of in-person classes for live figure drawing and painting, as well as just totally done drills, basically, on sketching and painting from life before relying too much on static imagery/3D/etc.
I often fret over every piece I do looking too stiff even still.
You have to do a LOT of the boring hard stuff the old fashioned way. And I regularly go back to it over and over when needed.
For example, I recently did a stupid amount of rose petal/flower studies deconstructing and painting ugly little paintings/doodles over and over because I know that I've been horribly weak at painting flowers for years (actively avoiding them). And I've been doing a lot of floral stuff lately due to that.
Whenever I start a new piece in new territory, I know it's going to mean several 3AM nighters where I have two other tabs open on Photoshop where I test out different textures or do a couple of studies. I'm working on a piece of my OC right now that has a lot of gore/medical instruments and I've been working on testing out different methods for shiny metal painting and some anatomical studies. I'll come to a snag in a painting and go "here we go" and work through it one piece at a time.
My Halsin piece, "Secret Spot" in the hot spring, was a massive undertaking with a lot of these moments. The Karlach x Dammon piece took 3 times longer than it should have due to me just having to go back and fix things knowing I could do better after doing some studies.
Ultimately I personally find art tutorials to be quite useless overall once you get to a certain point, unless they are teaching the use of a tool/software because you HAVE to figure out what works for you. And even then I use Blender like a monkey with a keyboard, I suspect, because I've just bruteforced through it, so I could probably use a tuneup from a good teacher on that haha.
I hope this helps some, and sorry if I overstepped if I sound preachy.
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Whats your process like when doing Comics? Not only fancomics but also original works like palitaw? Im a big fan of your comics!
Aww that’s really flattering ;w; ! It’s so nice to know some people have read my first one-shot out there. It's the comic that gave me the confidence to pursue this art form just a little bit more too.
These days, I just don't find it exciting to work on one big fully rendered illustration, I often feel like something more could be told if there were interactions or a little bit more context added to it, you know just like in comics? So yea, there's that and also me in my brain who won't shut up about what if there was a this and that, what if it goes this way instead? Just lots of blabbering. My brain has too much room for it (help).
Anyway, let's move on to my process. I won't be giving you a detailed routine of how I do it, but rather how I deal with it.
My secret is that I just take my time.
This goes for many things but tbh I do it more than before because I don't really see myself as a writer, or a comic creator but as an artist with a new hobby trying out something new and unfamiliar. It took me one and a half year to finally start drawing Palitaw because I didn't have the confidence to meet my own standards. It's typical of me to be hard on myself lol but eventually, I realized that doing so won't push me forward so I pushed myself to take time instead. The best part of it is there's no deadline to dread at all haha.
When I work on a draft, I don't immediately finalize it. I just ignore it for a few days or maybe a week. Just enough time to forget what I initially felt about it (including the cringe of a few hours of tunnel visioning to it). This way, I can put myself back into a reader's position before I start making better adjustments.
But Mar, what about my waning interest?
Ok, so listen, I’m old by internet standards and I’ve learned that love and interest won’t be enough to manifest anything. It’s the commitment. When I worked on my one-shots, and fancomics, the feelings of excitement, or grief I felt at the start vanished once I put in the work. Now that I’ve put myself through it not just once but many times, I think I’m getting used to it? I'm honestly sad I gave up on a few drafts now when I reread some of them. It's this feeling that keeps me committed to some of my own very self-indulgent projects these days.
Here' a little compensation for making you read through that. This is what my drafts looks like. They're silly little doodles on a 11 x 16 sketchpad. Big ideas start small, as they say. If something so low effort made me smile, perhaps i should keep at it haha!
#ask#sketches#I hope this was a worth it answer to u anon#i still dunno what the hell am i doing#but i sure am enjoying it#the second draft is from my entry 'Unang Lakad' (First date) for Kilig anthology here#I'm thinking of translating it to english#i think it'd be an interesting read and look to commute life here hehe#it's also very short but cute
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Tallying up the Year
I hope you guys' december (which is almost over already, wtf) is going/has gone well! 2024 is upon us.
This christmas weekend, I mostly found myself thinking about how this year went, and honestly? despite all the things I haven't gotten to do, I still managed to accomplish quite a lot.
Me typing this rambly post out is less anything anyone needs to read, but more to remind myself of Things That Got Done™ than anything else because sometimes... I forget I do be getting shit done! And it's important we remind ourselves of the work we do.
The Things That got Done™
I advocated for my own Health. I scheduled (and went to!) so many doctor and dental appointments this year, holy shit. But, if the last few years have taught me anything, I simply have to put in the effort. I got my colon mostly sorted out, started a new regimen for my skin and hair (after chopping it off) so I'm feeling better, schedule an appointment with the optometrist in January, and even got lots of issues with my teeth fixed. Granted, our broken medical system made it incredibly stressful, and i spent thousands of dollars on the latter that I will be paying off til next july BUT!!!! This section is about the good things.
Started Streaming Again! I've been missing streaming since I stopped way back in I believe 2020. It was a fun way to interact with followers and supporters, so I'm glad I'm back to it on a regular schedule, with many of the old regulars still joining me while I work. Speaking of which:
I finished 43 total stream doodles. While I'm only filling a handful a month, it's definitely adding up! 40+ boys in the span of 5 months is nothing to scoff at, and that's not even considering that I'm doing this alongside normal patreon work.
I finished 39 total commissions this year. I'm definitely still going quite slowly, and I thank everyone who has been extraordinarily patient thus far, but I'm happy to say that my pace has been decent... at least relative to previous years. I got more done in the last 5 months than i did in the roughly year and a half period before 2023!
Replaced SEVERAL appliances that broke down. My computer moniter, my microwave, my refrigerator... all failed on my this year, and it took some work, but I finally managed to get them all replaced! So far, everything is working fine, but next on my agenda is to save up for a new desktop. This one I use for work has been at it since 2017, and it's about time to look into upgrading.
My Google Drive is Looking Nice. It's still not perfect, but I'm still immensely proud of how it's shaping up. There's still some curating of older pieces to do, but I've found a stride where I'm regularly updating it for people to peruse.
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Now despite these W's, I still got a long way to go. The things below could be considered resolutions for 2024, but that feels cursed to call them that. They are simply:
Things I Want to GET Done
Adding more YCH Figures. I was definitely expecting to have more to choose from by this point. And I really need to update some of the older ones too, because I think they've aged poorly. I got some neat suggestions and hopefully will find some time this week to showcase them in my discord to collect some feedback before releasing them.
Do more involved pieces/projects. I want to do more things like Comics, or simply pieces that I work on over the course of several sittings, ones where I can experiment and fiddle and practice!!! I rarely ever get to do that these days (I've only finished a few Big Personal Pieces this year), and I need to find time and energy to do them more because those are the things that truly make me feel like I grow as an artist. (and maybe I can find a shading style I actually fucking tolerate.). I also want to get more OC development and stuff done too, cuz I really didn't draw my children a whole lot this year!
Make more fucking Money!!!!! Let's not kid ourselves. I want to get to a point where I'm not just barely meeting the monthly quota. How to get there? I don't know, honestly. Things are so very stacked against artists right now, so it really does feel like the only thing that can be done is Not Give Up. Which I won't do. If/when I go down, I'm making it everyone else's problem. Trust. 😏
Save up to Visit the Boyfriend. I haven't seen him since January 2022! Big goal is to be comfortable enough to where I can fly my ass up there and smooch him. 👏🏽
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I won't lie, i'm going into 2024 quite anxious and still scraping by by the skin of my teeth (that I'm still paying for). It's going to be a BIG year cuz oh boy, it's election year, there's plenty of family developments i gotta keep an eye on and work to be a part of... not to mention all the horrible stuff going on still (free palestine!).
Here's hoping shit goes our way this coming year! And let's get ,more strikes going so everyone is getting their fucking money!!! :V
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What Happened?
So... it's been like a year and a half.
The long and short of it is pretty simple tbh.
The first comic didn't turn out at all how I wanted. I had high hopes and big ambitions, and I'd already spent a year planning, and I didn't want my interest to wane, so I charged into it, doing some stuff I wasn't used to, and it didn't go as planned.
I didn't spend as long on the backgrounds as I should have. The coloring was weird, because I was determined to do the comic in color (I should have gone with a complex grayscale in retrospect). The pacing felt rushed and kind of clunky. I honestly wasn't super happy with most of it except for like 1 background and a handful of panels.
Honestly, I think I rushed it because I really wanted to get it out. I was trying really hard to follow the advice of "just do it," but in all honestly, I think I should have spent more time actually considering that comic and planning it.
Then I started working on the second comic.
I had a plan. I knew how I wanted it to go. I wanted to get into a rhythm of one comic a month. I refused to post it page by page because I really dislike reading comics that way, and I got it into my head that I had to follow these rules regarding "engagement" and "content" and kinda garbage stuff not really suited for someone who just does this as a hobby and not a career.
I was rushing again, and by the time I began lining the 3rd page (out of 12-14), I knew I'd messed up.
The line width was wrong, but the idea of redoing it all was too much. I'd also made the mistake of choosing a very clean line art that took a lot of time, and maybe that did make it easier to color fill, but it wasn't my style and not my preference, and it didn't really make me happy to look at.
Then Tears of the Kingdom was getting more news, and more than anything, it was all the negativity from the fandom surrounding the game before it'd even released that started draining on me. I felt like the joy was slowly getting sucked out of me. I was getting anxious, especially since this was a sequel to a game I'd really enjoyed, a game that had made me fall in love with the series again and had brought me a lot of joy.
I was stressed out by how long the second comic was taking. I wasn't enjoying the process. Everything in the fandom and surrounding TOTK was comic out so negative. And I was suffering a lot for it.
I lost a lot of steam for LoZ and Linked By Time really fast.
Then an old fandom reentered by life, brought me some dopamine, and I kind of dipped.
So here we are. A year and a half later with one comic, some designs, and several doodles under our belt.
Do I still care about this project?
Oh yeah, definitely. I had a lot of plans for this, and I became really fond of my versions of these guys.
What now?
Honestly... probably going to make a separate post for that. I have some thoughts.
For now, that's the long and short of it. Nothing really exciting or interesting. Just a bunch of stress and anxiety tbh.
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for no particular reason i'm just gonna text dump about my life as it currently stands as of nov 12 2023
things are going fairly well. i've been working at my library for the past two years and earlier this year i became full-time so things feel steady. it's not amazing money by any means, but it's the most i've made in my life. i have the best coworkers i could ask for and i count myself lucky for that, and can only hope to keep them in my life for as long as possible. the city that i'm employed by does some bullshit sometimes but it's never been malicious or anything like that. as far as careers are concerned, libraries were never on my radar, but this gig was a happy accident that i am content with. i still don't know if it's something i want to do for a long time, as i have never been particularly interested in the field, but maybe it's something i will learn to love.
i finally bought my first car at the very end of september, and the process of acquiring it fucking sucked, but it's all behind me now and i can enjoy not having a piece of shit for a vehicle. i never liked the idea of owing anybody anything, so it hurt a lot to spend half of my savings towards the car and still have years of payments to make on it in a time where rates are higher than before. still, it's kind of nice slowly building a life piece by expensive-ass piece with purchases like that. i'm trying to be a financially responsible person with what i have while keeping in mind that life is short and sometimes getting sushi or going to the movies is nice.
i've started going to the gym back in July, and it was the natural next step towards bettering my health and body image as i age. i took up running back in 2021 because of my lovely girlfriend and it went from being enjoyable to obligatory as time went on, although i still enjoy it in some capacity. the gym was both a way for me to keep things interesting as well as to get physically stronger. i'm still learning, but i know more about making the most out of my time in and out of the gym while still trying to be casual about it. part of me wishes that i took up this kinda stuff a long time ago, but as they say, better late than never.
as for what i have to look forward to, Jenny and I will be going to see Anamanaguchi in LA this Friday, and it's gonna be a blast. I've wanted to see them in concert since i was in high school, so this will be very fulfilling for my old teenage desires. i don't really draw much anymore, which is kind of sad, but also there's just so much going on in my personal and professional life that leaves little left for much else. i still doodle on occasion, but i think i have long abandoned any sort of artistic pursuit.
otherwise, i am just going to keep doing what i'm doing and try to keep my head above water. as a person who has been very aimless since 18, with no credentials or accolades or higher education to his name, with little to no ambition for anything, and with a body and mind that feel at odds with the world and its demands, i think i'm finally doing okay, and that feels good. i still have a long way to go, but maybe life isn't so bad after all
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A bit late but *glares at tumblr* it's better be late than never ey?
But here is my 2023 art roundup! :D
General retrospectives under the cut per month if anyone is curious 😘
Jan: This was a gift I made for a buddy of mine! It was of his oc that the friend group collectively simped for and cultivated together, as a family. He's a great lad and a starting point for me to use stock textures for the general look of my art
Feb: An older design of my Miraak, but I really still like this piece. It was the starting point of me trying to learn how to draw characters interacting together. While I do think I can improve in some aspects, I still think it holds up really well and looks super cute!
Mar: Ah, gore. This was the beginning of me doing a 'soft' art style. It's of a melting Emperor Belos for the Tales of a Tyrant Zine (I believe the link is still active for access to the pdf? If curious, I should still have it around somewhere. It's pretty sick ngl). I really like this piece, it helped me deal with my imposter's syndrome in the group of Amazing artists as they really liked this piece of mine! And generally I love drawing gore
Apr: This was a commission for someone on tumblr! I used my softer style for this piece and had fun figuring out how to make the light imposing but not loose the main colors and details! Also fun fact - I had a friend pose for me holding a sign so I can get GOOD hand references as google was no help
May: Ah the first full drawing on Krita. This was a test on the art program as Autodesk Sketchbook was no longer working for me on desktop (tho I still use it for my ipad art!). It's of my HOK who I don't talk much about as they're just a Dude. Sorry Jhyth, I should do more with you
Jun: This bitch. Elyden I adore you, you're my favorite oc and one of my longest lasting ones but. . . It took so damn long to get a good design with him that showed his personality and wasn't a pain to draw. I really like his design here, I think he looks wonderful
Jul: A commission done for my Skyrim fanfic's editor actually! She's pretty cool and greatly improved my writing skills! And she paid me to draw a mudcrab in Sovngarde! What more do you want? I love this piece too as I learnt how to do backgrounds in my style that won't kill me in my detailed art style
Aug: Another commission done for a friend of mine! It was based off a doodle I did of his oc as a gift but he paid me to finish it as a full rendered piece! :D I got to draw a tiddy window and an evil throne!!!
Sep: An art collab I did with a friend of mine! Where we split the image in half and drew each other's ocs interacting! It's actually the same dude as the Jan's piece. I both hate loved working on this. His hands gave me so much trouble
Oct: My second favorite oc's revamped design, Lorelei <3 I love her a lot and I really love her design. I think it fits her perfectly and you can tell what she's about immediately by just looking at her. I adore this lady (also fun fact, she's the older sister of Elyden!). This drawing means a lot to me as it was me figuring out that I like drawing character references only in more fun poses in a sense
Nov: Funny thing, I finished that drawing yesterday. But it's a reference of my Rahgot! I chose this as my Nov piece as I feel like it was when I was getting better at character designs. In terms of practicality, function, aesthetics, colors, and visual language
Dec: A commission for an old friend of mine that I knew since...fuck me, I think...6 years? He wanted me to draw an antagonist for his body horror gundom ttrpg campaign! Even though he doesn't draw, his designs fuck so hard and I'm so glad I got to draw one fully <3 I love this piece and I think it was a great send off to the end of this year
I feel like I exploded in improvement this year. My skills and my methods for art became more practical and made my life a bit easier in general in the process (especially in the coloring department). And I cannot wait to see what I'll make for next year :D
Thank you all for coming with me to this journey <3 and have a blessed new year
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5 Years of Drawing: Part 1
Originally posted on ko-fi.com/artofjim
July marks 5 years since I started learning art and drawing every day. As they say, time flies when you're having fun, and time has really flown! I want to use this blog post to reflect on some things I've learned, look at some old work and compare it to current, and emphasize my gratitude for all of the support I've received in the last half decade. This is a long one so I'm breaking it into 3, but it should give you a ton of insight into my journey as an artist that brought me here today, and hopefully help you carve out your own path!
Before July of 2018, I would occasionally get it in my head that I wanted to draw. This would be prompted by seeing some cool art online, or needing a way to pass the time on trips. I'd spend money on new sketchbooks and tools, and doodle for a weekend in them. That would be that, and my sketchbooks would sit until the next time I felt like drawing again, which was no more than a few times a year. I had a little natural talent at copying proportion and detail, but there was no methodology to my picturemaking and I relied heavily on replicating others' art. Because of the inconsistent schedule and lack of interest in learning, I usually say I started drawing after all of that. Here's some sketches from before 2018.
This is a direct rip of Nate Van Dyke, with a couple additions of my own. 2014? I learned about ink and decided that was the only medium I wanted to work in.
Around the same time. Every artist has been here at some point, I think. I found some photo portraits of homeless people on pinterest probably and took it upon myself to draw them. Lots to unpack there but we should move on (please we must move on oh God). Again, I wasn't trying to learn, I was just copying photos and other art with no rhyme or reason to it, and very rarely. I just loved that kick when people would look at it and say it was good.
2018
In 2018 I was working in Tacoma and there was a great little book store called Culpepper's across the street. Jerry Culpepper had ran that store for decades, and had no great love for comics. As a result, anytime he got graphic novels in, he'd hide them in an unorganized shelf and price them way, way down. This was also true of artbooks, but I wasn't interested in those (yet). Jerry and I had an amicable relationship, with him busting my chops about the coffee shop I worked at being too expensive, and myself ironically bringing him free drip on my breaks. I remember him going into great detail explaining how "Black Panther was absolute shit! Waste of my time seeing that film!" I probably went in there once a week and dug around, spending tip money on anything that looked interesting while Jerry peered down at the titles with a furrowed brow. My love for comics started at this time, and some of the first graphic novels I bought were from Jerry Culpepper. The League of Extraordinary Gentleman and A Small Killing, both written by Alan Moore, and drawn by Kevin O'Neill and Oscar Zarate, respectively (a great place to start, if you ask me!).
Still have them! Jerry always priced books with pencil on the first page. He'd usually charge me at least 30% less than this, and shave off sales-tax if I paid cash.
I bought so many comics and bothered Jerry so often that he started giving me stuff for free (again, he had no interest for comics and was intent on filling his store with civil war history and first edition antiques). I'd pay $20 and walk out of there with an armful of graphic novels, video game concept art, Japanese editions of collected Ukiyo-E plates, published artist sketchbooks, and all sorts of odd things I wouldn't normally look for. That's the beauty of local used book stores, you cannot predict what's waiting in there for you. Those early Culpepper finds were, and still are, very influential to me. I dig through my bookshelf for them regularly. I think it's very important for creatives to have a personal, physical collection of things that inspire and interest them, because they will bury into your style way more than temporary online influences.
"Culpepper Books: here you'll find a man struggling to get the hell home with as much money and few books as possible before he retires" -Jerry, during his last week of business when I asked him for a caption
In late-2019, Jerry Culpepper got an offer to end his lease early from a big developer and decided to retire right as the pandemic started to hit, which was definitely the right decision for him. While writing this, I searched his name to see if I could find his online collection, and learned that he passed away in 2022 at the age of 70. Here is his obituary if you'd like to learn more about my old friend at the bookstore who impacted my life more than I could have realized at the time.
https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/tribnet/name/gerald-culpepper-obituary?id=32332566
My last purchase from Jerry
Now that I was reading comics a lot, I became hip to Jim Lee, comic art superstar of the early 90s known for his work on X-Men, Punisher: War Journal, and countless other titles soon after. Jim Lee streams on Twitch, and one day in July I popped in to watch purely out of curiosity and ended up following along with his live tutorial drawing Wolverine. There's a recording of this tutorial here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wxoH_eZgrw
I had never had drawing explained to me in the analogous way that Jim Lee did. Much of the concepts he was demonstrating are very fundamental no-brainers to me nowadays, but back then, despite drawing off and on my whole life, I had never been exposed to them. I specifically remember him relating the teeth to a can of soup, and the triceps muscles to parallel canoes. This was mind blowing to me, and sparked an obsession that is still roaring to this day. Here's my results from drawing along with Jim Lee that day.
A little heavyhanded on the spot blacks there, Jimbo...
Even though the idea of using simple forms like soup cans and canoes had been demonstrated so brilliantly by Jim Lee, I immediately went back to my old ways of rote copying. Only now, I was doing it for a few hours a day. I also started streaming art on Twitch during this time, and I'm amazed anyone watched because I was completely directionless.I was reading a lot of Frank Miller and the interest in ink was renewed, and I would just copy things straight out of comics, line-by-line. I didn't have the tools or direction to study in a more meaningful way, so I just copied and copied and copied, with no real improvement besides hand-eye coordination, and my ability to copy from image to paper.Jim Lee had also mentioned Bridgman, and I found a copy of his big book at Culpepper's and copied a few pages (poorly) before giving up.
Notes?? Why would I write down anything from the book? This is drawing!! Sarcasm aside, this was the extent of it. Whatever concepts I pulled from it, I didn't cement with mileage so it was all for not. Granted, Bridgman is not beginner friendly at all.
I also took part in Inktober for the first time in 2018, and actually attempted concept creation. I knew I was bad at drawing heads, so I decided I would twist every prompt into a helmet of some kind. Strange method. You can view the completed pieces here, if you really want to: https://www.instagram.com/p/BokqcKngdlz/
2019
In 2019, I began to become invested in history, and really enjoyed drawing historical garb. Japan especially grabbed my interest, and I bought tons of books about it from Jerry. I'm surprised I didn't try to copy more Japanese art, especially Hokusai's ink sketches. I was filling sketchbooks regularly by now, still just copying for the most part, and getting a little better at it! When I look back at those sketchbooks now, there's a common "Jim" thread present even if I wasn't being very original. I want to point out that I don't think there's anything wrong with copying references, ever, but especially as a beginner artist. The way I was doing it, though, was from a limited perspective: drawing straight to final linework and not considering anything but the 2-d image. I wish I had pursued fundamentals more, and varied my tools, but I just didn't have exposure to those things. I was still wielding a brush pen like a club on every drawing, and using expensive markers that bled through the page.
I learned about Karl Kopinski, and some of the other star artists from Super Ani, and didn't know about all of the mileage and proper practice between where I was and where they were, so I tried to just do what they were doing. Of course, KK appealed to my interest in historical costume, and I copied a bunch of his drawings in my sketchbooks. I also dug into Sergio Toppi, attracted to his painterly hatching and masterful ink compositions, and learned about Moebius. I picked up a Final Fantasy 1-7 artbook for $10 (thanks Jerry) with tons of drawings by Yoshitaka Amano in it, and tried to match his watercolors with my bleeding Copic markers. Because there was no method to my drawings beyond copying mark-by-mark, there was an element of luck involved that decided the success of each drawing. The artmaking journey, then, was just chasing that next lucky winner drawing, which is not sustainable long term! Sure, I might get lucky more often as I copied more accurately, but I wouldn't know why, and I had no lens to understand what made an image work.
Toppi copy
One of the lucky drawings
Kopinski copy
Amano copies. Notice the difference in quality between the Toppi samurai above and these; this is the element of luck I'm referring to. There was no repeatable process, just diving into the final lines and gambling on it.
Beyond that, I wanted to create, not replicate. I would watch Karl Kopinski, Kim Jung Gi, and Peter Han create worlds on the spot, with no reference, and have no idea how to accomplish that. I figured it was my poor visualization ability holding me back. All I thought mattered was drawing a lot, and drawing a variety of things. I would stream on Twitch and take requests to draw anything anyone wanted for ten minutes. I drew 20 different outfits from the Camp-themed Met Gala. I drew video game characters, Power Rangers, cartoons, and Kermit the Frog smoking a blunt. Occasionally, I'd try to draw people and places from life.
My first ever POV sketch
I knew that clothing was something academics studied, so I "studied" some drapery as well! All that meant for me was copying, line by line, a few reference photos. I downloaded Autodesk Sketchbook, a free drawing program, and tried my hand at digital art. If I wasn't just attempting photocopying, I did try my hand at some imaginative work, with a degree of realistic rendering. Here's those paintings, just so we can compare to my current paintings later.
I would paint over Bill Sienkewicz sketches, this is one of those
This funny little fellow is a Japanese God, Fukurokuju. The drapery is looking especially mushy.
In mid-2019, I decided I would challenge myself to making a comic for Inktober. I was very naive, but still took a lot of time planning for it before October started. I scripted out the pages, did some character "designs," and even worked on turnarounds. My thought was that if I took the time to figure out what a character would look like from any angle, I could just use that as reference when I needed it. This is true, and how animators do it, but I created this sheet by smashing together references and finding an image for every expression and angle I could need. I also sculpted the main character's head so I could use it as reference. I had not rediscovered the power of "form" yet, despite Jim Lee's great tutorial that started all of this, and the literal sculpted 3d form sitting on my desk.
Here's a few pages of my Inktober comic, Dog Days. I made it 13 pages in and burned out super hard, since I was working full-time still and spending at least 8 hours a day on the pages. The cyst on my wrist got massive and I was not sleeping at all. I took a break for a few days to go on a trip and just never came back to it. Surprisingly, I haven't ever experienced a burnout since then.
If you're interested in checking out the other 11 pages, they're available to Ko-Fi Members for $4.50/month, along with my other comics.
For my first comic, I am extremely proud of that work. There's a sort of energy that is now inhibited by experience and judgment. I was fearless and committed to every page, because I had no idea how long it would take me or what challenges I might face. I don't think I will or should ever finish it, because I cannot replicate that vibe.
I returned to drawing a few weeks after the burnout and dove back into Japanese historical drawings, becoming obsessed with the photos of Felice Beato, who brought photography to Japan right as it modernized. Some coworkers of mine were my first ever commissioners, asking for some work relevant to what I was already studying. The first was a family portrait taken in the early 1900s. The second was a 6 panel piece on the history of Taiko drumming. I think they spent more on the frame then what I charged them for the piece, which is hilarious to me now. I also experimented with some blacklight ink and collage, which was a nice change from all the inking I did in October.
I did these on expensive Awagami rice paper with ultra-archival Noodler's fountain pen ink. I was fooling myself into thinking that expensive materials were necessary for any sort of "professional" work, and that they would elevate it. In the end, it just made the process nerve-wracking and left no margin for error.
I will continue with years 2020 and 2021 in my next post to keep this one from getting any longer! Follow my Ko-Fi to get notified via email when that comes out, or tune into my social media: https://linktr.ee/artofjim
If you'd like to support my art career and get some goodies in return, become a Ko-Fi Member in exchange for art in the mail every 6 months, monthly giveaways, access to my comics, discounts in my shop, and more. Starts at $4.50/month, goes up for better rewards. https://ko-fi.com/artofjim/tiers Thank you to all of my members, past and current, for enabling me to pursue my greatest interest in life more comfortably.
#blog#art journey#art education#art level up#drawing#art blog#reflection#learn art#art study#art practice#tacoma wa#tacoma
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greetings! i have made a thing! ✨️two✨️ things!
✨️ sketchboooooooooooks! ✨️
it took longer than anticipated (I've been trying to get this done since the end of last year, oops) but I finally finished putting these together today. all that's left to do is decorate the covers and start drawing in 'em!
they are slightly–moderately wonky and pretty clearly handmade, but I love them. gives em charm. these are only the second and third books I've made myself so I'm still learning.
if you're interested I'll drop a few more photos and babble a little about the process under the cut! (definitely not a tutorial if that's what you're hoping for lol i was winging it the whole time)
okay so we'll start with the little guy. this is meant to be more of a travel sketchbook.
I wanted something fairly small that I could take on the go without it being too much of a hassle, because I'm also hoping to get out more and like... go for walks to the park or the cemetery or w/e and try doing some studies and life drawing and such. or just get some fresh air and doodle while I make a valiant attempt to get some vitamin D.
THE PROCESS
both sketchbooks are made out of materials I just had lying around, but this one is even more "recycled" lmao
i took the inside pages from an old sketchbook, and about half of them had previously been used, so I went and erased my old sketches as much as I could (they were bad and low effort, so it's no loss I assure you) and that was a boring and frustrating endeavor but it was worth it because, well, I get to use the paper again! I did a very poor job the first time around, I almost never drew on both sides of the page and so many pages were just one shitty sketch and nothing else 🙈
i sorted the pages into signatures (tried to mix up the used and new paper because it'd annoy me if I had just like one big chunk of ghost drawings and then the rest of the book was good and clean lol) and stitched those together and then put just a couple layers of glue on the spine to hold it together.
I made the cover by gluing two pieces of thin cardboard together for each part (front cover, back cover, spine) to make em sturdier, and then I trimmed them down to size and glued the pieces to a paper shopping bag. I didn't have the patience to try flattening the cover under a heavy book or anything, so it's a little warped and will kind of open up on its own so I'm just using the binder clip to hold it closed. plus idk it looks cool!
once the cover was done and dry I just... glued it all together! added the end pages i cut out of construction paper to the.. chunk of book? the book brick? (is there a technical word for it when the signatures are all together....?) and then glued the other sides of the end pages to the inside covers.
now for the second book! the big boy!
this fella was intended to be the grand, improved follow-up to the first sketchbook I put together, and I started working on it right when said first book started running out of paper.
this one is the wonkier of the two but I think it's definitely a few steps up from the original, and I'm pleased with it. this is gonna be my everyday sketchbook, so I wanted it to have a ton of pages so I can use it for a good long while. I think it's at least twice as thick as my first sketchbook. 😂
THE PROCESS
...basically the same as the travel sketchbook, just bigger! the pages are sourced from a different sketchbook, one I started using in high school and promptly forgot about upon graduation.
fun fact: the end pages are covered in countless tiny little hatch lines that i drew by hand while I watched/listened to something on my computer. I don't quite remember what I was watching at this point, but it was almost certainly something from Starkid... probably VHSCC on repeat, since I did this part back in november/december. it might sound tedious but I shit you not I was thrilled to do this part and it was just a blissful neurodivergent turn the brain off and vibe kind of time.
the biggest difference in this process was doing the cover; it's not cardboard, it's some kind of particle board.. thing that was salvaged from the back of a busted picture frame. it is VERY stiff and sturdy and I did not cut the pieces out so much as score the board with my box cutter as deeply as I could, bend it back and forth, and pray it didn't break. 😅 the cover-cover is from the same bag I used on the smaller book!
most of the wonkiness comes from the fact that the cover is sliiiiiiiightly too small for the book brick inside. I had limited material for the cover so I couldn't stretch that at all, I made the cover as big as I possibly could, but I also did not feel like trimming the inside pages so that they would fit better because that would have taken FOREVER and also probably killed me. 😫 soooo the pages stick out a little bit, but that's fine and it doesn't bother me much. 🤷🏻♂️
and that's my two sketchbooks! finished em both up over 3 days after procrastinating for at least a month. and now that they exist I can finally draw again!!! been wanting to do that for WEEKS.
if you read all of this I hope you got something out of it, lol. whether you did or didnt, here's a skull for your troubles.
😊🤲🏻💀
enjoy!! <3
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curse of strahd is insane i cant believe we rewrote the timeline in a way that uriels entire order is still alive ON ACCIDENT… AND THE PLAYER CHARACTERS WHO HAD THEIR LIVES CHANGE DONT REMEMBER THEIR PREVIOUS TRUTHS, ITS INSANE. THE OTHER PC WHOSE MEMORIES HAVE CHANGED IS KASIMIR. ITS BIG CRAZY DUDE. i made picrews of the order of the forgotten flower a while ago just kind of assuming theyd always be dead bc WHY WOULDNT I so ill put them under the cut along with just so much rambling info about uriel and his order i feel crazy. i never thought we would visit the monastery or GET TO TALK TO THEM AGAIN BUT HERE WE ARE
davey and i basically made up an elf monastery to corellon thats pretty reclusive that uriel was a part of. he was a founding member of the order, which was basically a relic finding task force. originally they went to berez to find the sun sword but it was a trap, all of them died except for uriel who was turned by strahd and excommunicated when he came back (its a big no no to run from a fight in the eyes of followers of corellon, and though he really didnt run he was the only member to come back and boy did he come back wrong)
uriels lover mikhail is someone who one could easily compare to sergei von zarovich and strahd had fun killing him personally but unbeknownst to uriel mishka also came back wrong when the dark powers gave him a second shot at life in the wreckage of the bergomasters manor in berez. uriel didnt find out til 10 years later after he ended his self flagellating isolation + joined the party and was reunited with Mikhail who admitted he had been working with strahd to keep him safe. basically thanks to the deal with the dark powers and manner of his death the mikhail that the party came to know was covered in burn scars, physically cold as ice, and completely unable to emote. it took his warmth. WE WERE PANICKING BC IT SEEMED LIKE HED BEEN CAPTURED BY STRAHD AND WAS IN TROUBLE AND THEN…. WE FINISHED THE INTERACTIVE TOME OF STRAHD AND HISTORY WAS REWRITTEN AND HE AND THE ORDER ARE FINE AND MIKHAIL IS HIS OLD SELF………………. unrecognizable to the party sans uriel and this also means uriel has something to lose again in a major way. IM SO SCARED.
uriel is still strahds spawn it just went down differently and was much more personal. its insane. i feel CRAZY
anyway heres my elf priests via picrew (strahd set the bergomasters manor on fire with them in it, listen, the bg was just impossible not to use)
in order: raphael, gavril aka “gav”, uriel, and mikhail, the oldest OG members of the order. raphael, uriel, and mikhail are straight up elf nuns married to corellon. theyre all very tightly knit and love eachother more than words could say.
then— iehudiel aka “salt”, barakhil, and selafiyel, the youngest and newest members. the twins are half elf/half orcs born from a barovian elf and an outsider, and salt just straight up was an adventurer who became trapped in barovia. the OG 4 are very protective of them and losing the order made uriels brain snap in half.
mishka got the most art from me on account of still being alive but ive doodled all of the OG members of the order!!! the dark power of cold gave him glowy eyes post-revival.
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Long story short about my 2 years at Davis JR high. Fell into gang banging, continued to sell drugs and tried to stay high as much as possible to help cope with the reality’s of a young man who had to deal with abuse at home from my parents and the abuses of Utah society. I also was incarcerated during this time because I added on new charges to my record often and stayed at home rarely. I felt more loved at friends houses by their families than I did in my parents home. They mostly showed me hate contempt and would tell me how I was never going to be shit. This After the daily beatings were put to an end by standing on my own two and fighting back. I was full of anger that I was always in trouble for a drug that I believe helped me survive. I was too outspoken about how unjust I felt persecuting someone for using weed was wrong especially when the mainstream was providing me with speeders my biker and mechanic friends preferred over meth and this was the early to mid 90s. Dexedrine with spansel is not only one but two forms of amphedimine in one awesome pill. It was a cleaner high than the early shards of dope that made you sweat toxic shit out ones pores and would lock u in place tweaking out for 8 hour sessions of doodling lol. Anyways I remember having the “weed will be legal in my lifetime” debate with any adult that would take me up on the challenge. Lots of drug program setbacks because I never would accept I had a problem only that the system had a problem and I wasn’t going to change for anyone. A smart adult once told me I don’t have to believe what they preach but just play along until I get out of thier system then don’t get caught again. Should have listened but nope I was already on the fuck anyone that wants to have a problem. I could go on for hours about these years because there were a lot of profound realizations that made me who I am today during this part of my life. The single biggest influence in my life from 6th to 9th grade was a 50 year old hells angel affiliated biker with the stereotypical zz top biker beard. Who I met thru a new kid that came from Washington his name was AC Devlin and when I went to AC’s one night to hang out I met my street dad Walter Livingston. For those of you who don’t know what a street dad is my definition would be a strong male influence/role model that takes a child under thier wing but more on a respectful friendship level. Basically Walter did all of the things that my own father never did or even wanted to do like working on bikes, teaching me about integrity, how to treat women, what a real gangster looks like and what a personal code of conduct is as well as cool shit like how to ride a bike, shoot a 38 snub, where to get artillery shells, how to make the best whiskey and water and yes we even smoked some serious drugs together because of Walt I always had the best weed around I was smoking chronic when everyone else I knew was still smokeing that piss biscuits and gasoline brick weed that you had to de seed forever or face the headache that came from leaving them in there. I was also snorting lines of peanut butter and rosebud crank and was there in the very beginning of crystal meth. This is when meth was made easier and the precursors were readily available so the strength was far more potent than what someone would run into now days. In my mind it did the same thing only a little stronger than the speeders I was made to take for school which coincidentally is the only reason they couldn’t bust me for using meth cause I was on paper my whole teenage years so piss tests came weekly but the meth came up the same thing as my amphedimines prescribed by my doctor. Walter was my best friend and father all in one package I only hope to one day be as good of a human being or have half the intelligence Walter had. An old orphan from Hershey pa with the heart of a lion. I can’t be more greatful to anyone else although I’ve had other phenomenal people in my life Walter took me under his wing and taught me how to conduct myself.
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The Department of Tommy Shelby
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader
Reader Gender Expression: She/her pronouns and wifey
Summary: Tommy's wife is just all about this man.
Length: 756 words (allegedly)
Warnings: none
A/N: I found this in my drafts and thought it was so light and cozy! I hope you snuggle up with it 😚
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"I miss your handwriting."
Tommy looked up from work on his desk to his wife. She was wrapped in a robe and half-asleep in front of him.
She'd woken up in the middle of the night to find him missing for the third time that week. If he'd been there when she made the realization, he'd see her roll over, mutter incoherent curses, then stumble from the bed to the door.
It wasn't pleasant.
She went from a dream state to feeling the cold, hardwood against her bare feet. The echoes of her pattering combined with thuds from bumping into furniture guided her along the familiar path to the downstairs office. Meanwhile, her eyes watered, trying to pry themselves open and adjust to the low light in the house at the same time.
She never quite barged into his office and asked when he was coming to bed. It was more about her than anything, wasn't it? It was her problem that she insisted on sleeping near him, in the same room, no matter the room.
She'd slink in and clear her throat when the smoky, tobacco-filled air hit her lungs. It was always more potent when Tommy was cooped up, no door or window left open to disturb him or to ventilate. Then she'd take a lap around the room, seeing what had changed since her last time there. Tommy's eyes would follow her for a moment before falling to the clock on his desk that told him he'd meet the sun in only a few hours, then back to his work. Eventually, his wife would find herself something like a book or an old newspaper followed by a space wherever he had room for her- the couch, the floor near the fire, the window sill. Tonight, she settled on reading notes from a meeting he had earlier that week about overseas stocks and tucking a leg under herself to get cozy in one of the chairs across from him. They'd been perfectly silent in a way Tommy found deeply enjoyable until she uttered that statement.
"What was that?" he asked.
"I miss your handwriting," she repeated, though this time, her words were laced with a yawn. "You started having your secretary write everything, or you'll use one of the new typewriters. But I can read you so well when you write by hand," she said, flipping to a new page and skimming her fingers over the scrawlings.
"You don't know much about this topic, so you took more notes than usual. You liked the person you were meeting with then because you let them see you take notes. You still doodle though, that's nice. I think you stopped for tea here." She pointed to a place where he'd clearly stopped in the middle of a sentence then picked up his pen to continue again sometime. Clear to her, anyway.
"I should tell Churchill to hire you. My wife's the best damn detective around," Tommy chuckled.
He was only half kidding. It was impressive how well his partner in this world knew him. Sometimes he wondered how it happened. Was he so easy to read? But it was only her who seemed to know every little thing. His wife nodded deeply, then looked back at the notes.
"Oh yes, I'll head the Department of Tommy Shelby. Unfortunately, my passion for forensics begins and ends with you," she said with a chuckle.
"Am I a pastime of yours?" He asked, capping his pen. It was about time he wrapped up anyhow.
"In ways. I like knowing more about you. The things you write and say. The things you don't write, and you don't say. I suppose I like to wonder about you too after all these years."
Tommy locked away his folders and gave his desk a final glance. He walked around his desk and pulled her up, wrapping his arms around her waist.
"It can't be good, you staying up like this," he murmured. The concern was admittedly lacking. He liked that his wife came for him. He liked having her around, whether it was late night rendezvouses at home or her keeping him in line at the office.
"Well, I know you get busy, and I don't want to pressure you. But I don't want to feel far from you either," she admitted. She let her cheek press against his shoulder. "You're also entertaining to observe, especially when you get really passionate about your dealings."
"Can't complain. I've been leading the Department of Mrs. Shelby for ages."
"Don't I know it," She agreed. "I still have no idea how you always manage to buy my favorite flowers when my mind changes so often."
"And I'll never tell." Tommy stroked her back as they fell into quiet. "Alright, time for bed."
In a moment, he was pushed hard against the desk. The sweet moment turned into Tommy catching the woman he loved as she dropped all of her weight on him.
"Christ, love,"
"Tommy," she whined, yet to be swayed to stand upright. "Carry me."
"Mrs. Department Head, please let me know what I've done to make you think I could do such a thing at this time of night. I will stop immediately." Tommy grunted, attempting to stop her from crumpling to the floor. There was a pause before he felt her rumbling before letting out a gasp. She picked herself up and leaned back.
"You're right, old man. Don't push yourself."
She patted his shoulder while riding out a fit of laughter that made him glower at her the best he could without laughing himself. He turned her by her shoulders and moved them towards the door.
"That's enough. Let's get some rest."
#Cuties#Tommy Shelby x Reader#tommy shelby fluff#Tommy Shelby Imagine#Peaky Blinders#Peaky Blinders fic#Peaky Blinders Imagine#Tommy Shelby Fic
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Demigod MC Series: Athena
So. I have to deal with the virgin goddesses… By mythos, there really shouldn't ever be children of Artemis, Hestia, or Athena (yes, Athena was a virgin goddess). PJ got past that by making it canon that Annabeth and her siblings were born from cracking open Athena's skull (yes, that's also more or less the canon explanation). They gloss over it real quick but I remember, Rick. I've always remembered and that mental image has haunted me for years...
I can't, in good conscience, ignore the history around Athena's worship (call it an academic restraint) but I REFUSE to do the skull thing. So, since I make the rules here, I'm going with magic adoption. They still get magic powers, they're just more human than demigod. Cool? Cool.
Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena
Lucifer
The human that popped out of the portal seemed to have enough sense not to attack everyone in the room for a change, but even Lucifer could tell that was more of a strategic choice than for lack of ability...
Their very existence was highly unusual… and quite worrisome. He wasn't even aware Athena could have "children" of her own, but apparently she had been taking in some particularly bright humans to raise and train like her own...
Unbeknownst to him, a surprising amount of human scholars, diplomats, and generals have her to thank for their trade… and that alone should speak to the level of intrigue at play here.
Was this an accident or Athena's attempt to plant an Olympian spy in the Devildom too…? Either way, he didn't trust them from the get go…
Look, Lucifer isn’t stupid. Athena is a goddess of Wisdom and War and war happens on more than just the battlefield…
Since they've shown up records have been going missing, official documents keep getting misplaced, and he swears that there's some kind of bug in the student council room...!
It's infuriating watching the MC suck up to Diavolo when he's almost certain that they're running their own agenda behind the scenes! And he can't prove any of it!! They cover their tracks too well!
Lucifer has one of those corkboards covered in newspapers and string in a secret wing of the Castle - 100% dedicated to just tracking the MC's activities…. The longer they're there, the more obsessed he becomes...
He swears between Simeon, Solomon, and MC he feels like a shepherd wondering why the sheep are growling… The Devildom has never been in more danger than it is right now... Send help.
Mammon
To be honest, he kind of thought that they were just going to be Satan 2.0 but that's not really true.
They're more than just a book sponge! Though they do read, like a lot. Let’s just say from one schemer to another… Game recognizes Game.
They come up with plans and ideas soooo fast, it’s insane! Honestly, there are times where he has a new money-making plot and he just brings it to the MC first to run it over.
Nine times out of ten, not only do they sniff out any problems but they have a solution for him in a matter of minutes! His scheme game has been on point since they’ve shown up!!
They’re also even better tutoring than Satan is, so he’s even managed to get a couple A’s for the first time in his life! Lucifer actually told him he was proud (which he secretly recorded and now uses as a ringtone much to his brother’s regret...)
So yeah, he likes them... buuut that doesn’t keep him from thinking they act a little weird sometimes...
Mammon: *points to a unused tower close to the RAD building* Over there is the Tower of Sorrow. We use it for storage.
MC: Ah. Interesting… *starts writing in a notebook, muttering* It may need a few minor tweaks but the location is defensible...
Mammon: *stops* Ya say somethin’?
MC: *looks back up* Nope! Say, you’ve been to the Castle a lot haven’t you? Do you know any good ways in?
Mammon: Uhm… Why do ya want to know that…? *starts looking around for Lucifer*
MC: In case of emergencies. I like being prepared. 🙂
Mammon: Look, I don’t know what Lucifer might’a told ya…
MC: I’ll pay you a thousand Grimm for it.
Mammon: Well shit, ya want those maps with or without color?
... Yeeeah, that’s pretty weird… But it’s probably fine. I mean, as long as they keep giving him money, who’s he to complain? 🤷♀️
Leviathan
Also thought that they’d be a lot more like Satan but was pleasantly surprised that they were into more than books.
What else did they like exactly? Military strategy!!
It’s been a looong time since he’s been able to talk to someone who’s actually interested in all the battles he’s fought, both in the Celestial Realm and the Devildom, and their curiosity is kind of flattering...! Not a lot of people take his strategic prowess all that seriously anymore...
Plus, they are the BEST partner to have any turn-based strategy game. Hands down. He once got stuck on a level of D-COM for weeks until the MC walked in and mopped the floor with the AI!! They have a serious head for probability and tactics.
The House once made the mistake of letting these two be on the same team during a Hell Game and they absolutely demolished the competition. Mammon didn’t even get a single shot off before half his team was lost to a rigged paint grenade… It took a whole day to clean up…
However, Levi’s also noticed some odd things about the human… He likes that they’re interested in his past but maybe they’re a little… too interested?
Levi: -and that’s how we defeated the Four Horsemen before they escaped from Purgatory.
MC: Wow, Levi that’s seriously impressive!! *furiously scribbling on a notebook*
Levi: Well t-thanks… 😅 But, uhm... are you writing that down…?
MC: Hm? Oh no, just doodling. *they lift up the notebook to show a bunch of cute little sketches on the page… and not the magic-based invisible ink all over them…*
Levi: Oh you draw too? Can you do fanart???
MC: Eh, sometimes. But say Levi, can you tell me about your naval ranks again? I’m still really curious… *gets the pen ready again with a smile*
Satan
Oh, it's been a long game of cat-and-mouse between these two… and unfortunately, it’s been pretty addicting too.
He honestly had every intention of tricking the human into making a huge mess do he could bother Lucifer, but at every turn they proved just a hair too clever for him...
He once gave them a cursed book to “lend” to Lucifer, but they saw through it the moment they touched it and lifted the spell before handing it over.
He rigged a podium to spray glitter during one of Lucifer's speeches but the MC disconnected the trigger mic before he even got on stage. It was pretty dang frustrating...
At one point he got so desperate that, just as a test, he tried to trap them in the House's Music Room. Fortunately for them, it only took a few minutes to work out an escape. They even passed by him in the hallway with a wink!
It's confounding! It's infuriating!!
...and it's so damn sexy... He should be furious but he’s just in awe!!
Add on that they know their art, literature, and multiple different crafts thanks to the tutelage of their adopted mother and that’s it. He’s finished. This boy is in love.
Truthfully though, a part of him is 90% sure that they’re also gathering state secrets… Like, they’re watching Barbs and Diavolo far too close for comfort - but he just can't bring himself to care. 🤷♀️
The MC could walk into his room one day and say, "Hey, do you want to help overthrow the monarchy with me?" and he dreads it because deep down he knows that he wouldn’t say no…
Take some notes, kids. Some bad influences get you to drink or do drugs. Others pull you into a centuries long conspiracy to destabilize and topple rival realms from within… But he has fallen for their brain hard. Devil help them all…
Asmodeus
They’re pretty clever, he’ll give them that, but uh… Are they a little off to anybody else?
Asmo is a charmer by birthright so he has a bit of nose for when someone’s just a liiittttle too nice… Not much of a nose mind you, because he can be thrown off by compliments himself, but enough to think that the MC might be a little too… “kind” for their own good...
First off, who wants to spend that much time with Levi?? They don’t even seem that interested in anime! They just keeping asking him for old war stories…
Then all the sucking up they do to Diavolo and Barbatos? Look, he gets it. Diavolo is a delicious piece of man-hunk and his butler could give him a lesson or two in sweet-talk (and he has), but they seem to be just a little too… nosy.
Of course, Asmo’s suspicions disappear pretty quickly after they start to spoil him with spa nights and beauty secrets they picked up from “casual research” into the subject.
And you know, get a little Demonus in Asmo and start massaging his back? Oh, sweetie he’ll sing like a bird!! … with gossip. Singing with gossip.
Asmo: So I’ve heard that Lucifer has been spending more time at RAD than usual… His whole club is talking about it, they think he’s meeting with some witch!
MC: Hm, is that so? *works on a knot near his shoulder blades* What do you think?
Asmo: Ooh~! Right there, MC! *purrs and lays his head on his arms* Well come on, this is Lucifer we’re talking about! I’m sure he’s just working.
Asmo: Hmm... though come to think of it, I think I heard him asking Barbatos for the spare keys to the Tower of Sorrow…
MC: Oh really? Huh. *works out the knot and gets up* I just remembered that I left some papers with Satan... I’ll be right back.
Asmo: You’re going already??
MC: *waves him off quickly* I’ll be right back, Asmo. *hurries out the door to do totally on-the-up-and-up things… surely*
Beelzebub
Honestly he doesn't like this one… But not for the reasons you'd expect.
He agrees with everyone else that they seem a little shady, but Solomon and Simeon are too so it's not like that's anything new... 🤷♀️
No, no. He dislikes them because they're the person who FINALLY figured out how to keep him from eating all the food in the kitchen!!
Turns out that the trick was to put a teleportation charm on the fridge door that would send all the food away if it’s opened after a certain time of night…
And where does it go? The Purgatory Hall fridge. And where does the Purgatory Hall food go…? The HoL fridge…
It doesn’t sound so bad until you remember that it means half of their fridge is now Solomon’s leftovers…. 🤢
After they put the same kind of spell on the pantry, it was all over… He couldn't get midnight snacks from the House anymore… Everything was contaminated by Solomon…
The MC is a nice enough person, he doesn’t have a lot of complaints about them, but he wants them to leave. Now. This is inexcusable… He’s so hungry… and he doesn’t want to die by “goulash” or whatever Solomon calls his latest culinary catastrophe… He’s still too young for death… 😓
Belphegor
In a way, he absolutely could not have asked for a better person to help him get out of that attic.
… In another way, he got one of the worst possible people to try and kill... Like. They saw through his scheme sooo fast…
How was he supposed to know that the human had training in body language and sniffing out lies???
Getting the door open was a piece of cake for them. They knew enough magic to undo the seals and just rummaged around Lucifer's stuff long enough to find the key to the door. He could not have found a more competent individual for a break out, really.
It’s just… well he didn’t expect to go from locked in a room like a prisoner to tied up in enchanted rope, still like a prisoner but now mobile. 😑
They even used his own hug ruse against him! They caught his wrists when they got close and tied him up before he could shake them off...
Admittedly, it wasn't exactly the best look for them either - what with walking Belphegor downstairs to the others like a one-man-prison-caravan but they're as silver-tongued as they are sly so they talked their way out of it beautifully…
And like hell was he going to trust them after that!! And not even Beel liked them so something had to be up...
Well, you want a detective? Look no farther than Belphie (no seriously, it’s in the canon). He can put things together pretty fast when he puts his mind to it and watching the MC for a while gave him enough proof to work off of...
He always knew that, humans were bad news and the MC just proved it to him all over again. They are bad news, bad bad news and they’re going to-!
Overthrow… Diavolo…? Is that what he is getting from them…? Huh…
Wait a second, MC. You might just have him interested… 😏
#you say athena mc is smart#i say athena mc is spy#because where better to use your smarts#in war#obey me#obey me shall we date#shall-we-date-obey-me#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me demigods
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old enough to understand
mark lee x reader, childhood friends to lovers, fluff
summary: now that you’re older, you seem to finally understand how mark makes you feel
a/n: came up with this at 2am while listening to my mark lee dedicated playlist and pluto projector came on and u already know that one part made me emotional also do u like my doodles i made on the photo ^^
growing up, you were surrounded by the concept of love. you witnessed it with your parents, when you got your first pet, and even when you took your first bite into your favorite fruit.
when you first met mark lee at the age of 6, you didn’t think that the word love would apply to him. at least, not in the way that you knew it.
“no! it’s mine, i don’t want to give you any!” the young boy yelled.
“you can just go get more! i just want some watermelon!” you screamed back.
“go get some yourself!”
angry, you stomped away towards the table of adults. “mrs. lee, mark won’t give me a piece of his watermelon.”
the older woman laughed softly before getting up and leading you to the table of fruit. “forgive him, watermelon is his favorite. i’ll be sure to make sure he shares next time, okay?”
while you ate your own fruit alone in the grass, mark came up to you scratching his neck awkwardly, avoiding eye contact. “i’m sorry for being rude...i just really like watermelon...”
you narrowed your eyes at him before bursting into a fit of giggles, offering your own watermelon out to him. “it’s okay, mark, i like watermelon too. i understand.” he took the piece that you held out to him and took a seat next to you.
when you first met mark, you didn’t think anything of him except for that he was the dorky boy next door who seemed to reserve the concept of love for his favorite fruit.
in middle school, you and mark seemed to clash heads more often than not, and you found it hard to stick around him. desperate to seem cool in front of the new friends that he made, mark steered away from you and teased you whenever he saw you in the halls. you almost despised him in your middle school years, but no matter how much teasing he did mark always waited for you outside of the school gates and walked you home safely.
though he was still unsure of the role you had in his life, mark knew that he wanted to keep you around.
in high school, your parents fantasized about the idea of the two of you dating, but you and mark always recoiled at the thought. friend groups and social status set you and mark even further apart and before you knew it you became a messenger to girls who wanted mark to call their own. when you got your first boyfriend in sophomore year, mark tried to warn you that the guy was no good, but like always you never listened to him. when he broke your heart, you expected mark to scold you and tell you he told you so, but he provided you comfort in his arms instead.
though he didn’t love you then, mark vowed that he would never let your heart get broken again.
when it came time for you and mark to go off to college, you found yourself a lot more upset than you had initially thought you would be. you were excited to go off and find yourself elsewhere, but something about not having the silly, brown haired boy by your side 24/7 felt strange. granted, you two weren’t as close as your six year old self thought you would be, but you found that you and mark held a special type of bond that you feared you wouldn’t find anywhere else.
you still hadn’t figured out your love for mark lee, but you knew that leaving him was one of the hardest things you’ve ever had to do.
“just...promise to call often, okay?” you told him as you walked with him to his car, a box of his things in your arms.
mark’s lips curled up into a smug smile. “why? gonna miss me that much?”
you rolled your eyes. “you’re making me regret saying that. you’ll be lucky if i don’t block you after this, idiot.”
mark laughed loudly and you found yourself smiling softly at the sound. you placed the box in his truck before you both turned to each other. “i’ll text you everyday and call when i can. don’t worry, you can’t get rid of me that easily. you’ll probably be hearing about my uncontrollable gas everyday so if that’s not what you’re looking for then...”
you laughed and shoved his shoulder, mumbling for him to shut up. “it’s gonna be weird without you, i think.”
mark shrugged. “yeah, well, we’ll see each other again. just think about it like that time where you got so mad at me for blowing up your house in minecraft that you ignored me for a week!”
mark expected you to laugh but became concerned when he saw your lip quivering and your eyes threatening to spill tears. “y/n? sorry, is that, like, a sensitive memory?”
when you suddenly wrapped your arms around his torso and mumbled a soft ‘i’ll miss you’ into his chest, mark cursed at himself for being the first one to fall in love.
___
“isn’t it like 4am for you? you should go to bed,” you scolded him half heartedly. you sat at your vanity on facetime with a sleepy mark as you did your nightly skincare routine.
mark groaned through the phone and shook his head. “but i wanna talk to you,” he whined groggily. “i miss you.”
your cheeks heat up and you smiled shyly. “i miss you too, mark.”
mark blinked slowly with a tired look, his hair all messed up and his face in need of a shave. he watched you silently as you rubbed your moisturizer into your skin, smiling at the sight. “...you’re really pretty you know that?”
you froze and chuckled nervously, keeping yourself busy with your moisturizer so you didn’t have to see the way mark was looking at you. “you’re talking nonsense again.”
he grumbled, “i’m not talking any nonsense. you’re so pretty, y/n, i miss seeing your face. i hate facetime and my shit wifi.”
“you’re rambling, marky, go to bed,” you ushered him, this time grabbing your phone to look at him.
he smiled fondly at you. “i like it when you call me marky.”
“okay, i’ll call you it more if you go to bed.”
mark huffed and complied, bidding you one last goodbye. “fine. i miss you so much, y/n, call me tomorrow.”
“okay, i will.”
“promise?” mark asked softly, peeking open one eye to look at you.
“i promise, you big baby.”
“okay, goodnight. love you,” mark mumbled softly into his pillow, already half asleep.
your breath hitched in your throat at his words. you two hardly ever said that phrase to each other but you began to realize that nowadays mark seemed to say it quite often. before, you’d probably make a face in disgust at the cheesiness, but now it only made your stomach sick with butterflies.
“yeah, love you too, marky. sleep tight.”
already fast asleep, mark stayed silent. your thumb hovered over the ‘end call’ button, but you waited a few more seconds just to look at how peaceful mark looked. you could see the sky turning from a dark black to a paler blue from his window, making you frown since the boy had stayed up so late. before you could look at him any longer, you ended the call and sat back in your chair.
loving mark lee had always seemed impossible to you, but now you realized that it was the one thing that you wanted to do for the rest of your life.
___
you spent a lot of time thinking about your feelings for mark while you were away and most of it was you being in denial. you thought that maybe it was just because you weren’t used to being so far away from him, but deep down you knew otherwise. your friends had tried setting you up on blind dates, yet no one seemed to fill in the gap that you felt you had in your heart.
after you finished your first year of college, your mother began to pester you about having a boyfriend for you to bring home for the holidays. yet no matter how many guys you thought about, your mind would always bring you back to mark.
it was now christmas time and your family and mark’s family were going to have a small get together, meaning that you and mark would get to spend time with each other in person again. you weren’t sure if you should tackle mark at the sight of him, but you figured he would do the same to you anyway.
“y/n, sweetheart! my gosh, it’s been so long! you’ve grown up so well,” mark’s mother cooed as she gave you a warm hug.
you chuckled and returned her hug, replying with, “thank you, mrs. lee. it’s nice to see you again.”
she playfully nudged your shoulder. “any boyfriend yet?”
you laughed awkwardly and shook your head, looking away. “oh, um, no...not yet.”
she beamed. “mark will be happy to hear that.” she said it so fast that you almost didn’t catch it. “he’s out back waiting for you. i told him i’d tell him when you got here, but it’ll be a nice surprise for him,” she winked.
you thanked her briefly before making your way to the backyard excitedly. you thought that you’d be more nervous facing the boy you loved but, frankly, all you wanted to do was finally tell him that you loved him.
when you opened the door mark immediately turned his head, expecting to see his mom, but his facial expression completely changed when he saw you. he ran up to you with the brightest smile on his face and engulfed you into his arms. you laughed joyously into his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you as close to his chest as humanly possible.
“you have no idea how long i’ve been waiting to do that,” he mumbled into your hair.
you smiled against his shoulder before pulling away to look at him. the two of you held eye contact for what felt like an eternity before mark finally returned his arms back to his side.
“even though we call everyday, it feels like i’m meeting you for the first time all over again,” mark said with a light laugh.
“i hope i lived up to your expectations, then,” you joked.
mark smiled fondly at you before brushing snow out of your hair. “definitely above expectations.”
you blushed at his comment but thanked the cold weather for hiding your rosy cheeks. before you could make more small talk, mark burst out into another sentence.
“y/n, i have to get this off of my chest before i explode,” he blurted.
your eyes widened and you nodded your head. “oh, um, okay, what is it?”
he gripped at his hair and turned around, beginning to whine. “oh my god, i’m gonna sound like the biggest idiot on earth. please don’t hate me after this.”
“...what did you do, mark?”
“i didn’t do anything! well...” he faced you again with a sigh and grabbed your hands taking you by surprise. “y/n, i’m in love with you. and i know you probably just see me as that stupid annoying boy your mom forced you to be friends with but i’ve loved you for over a year and it’s driving me crazy and i-”
“mark!” you interrupted him, placing a hand over his mouth. he looked at you with wide eyes while you smiled at him, practically glowing with happiness. you removed your hand from over his mouth and he sighed again.
“just reject me so i can go cry in my room.” mark shut his eyes and prepared himself for rejection but it never came.
“i love you too, mark.”
mark opened one at to stare at you suspiciously. “...really? like, seriously?”
you chuckled. “yes, really. for a few months now.”
“wait, you’re not pranking me or anything, right?” mark asked with a small laugh.
you glared at him. “mark...”
“i’m sorry, i’m just really surprised!” mark opened his mouth to say something but then gasped and dug into his back pocket to grab something.
when he pulled out a small piece of mistletoe you seemed to fall in love with the brunette boy all over again. he grabbed one of your hands and gently pulled you closer to him, using the other hand to hold the mistletoe over your guys’ heads.
“i brought this just in case. i know that you’ve always fantasized about a moment like this so...” he said sheepishly. “kiss me?”
you laughed and brushed his hair out of his eyes before cupping his cheeks and placing a soft kiss on his lips. you felt him smile into the kiss, making you laugh and pull away.
“been waiting for that one too, huh?” you teased.
mark waved the mistletoe above the two of you and shook his head. “less talking and more kissing please...”
it took you over 10 years for you to realize that you loved mark lee but, if you had to, you would do it all over again in a heartbeat.
#mark lee#mark lee x reader#mark lee oneshot#mark lee fluff#NCT#nct fanfic#nct fluff#nct imagines#nct 127#nct dream#nct mark#nct oneshot#im so bad at writing confession scenarios im so sorry#superm#mark lee oneshots
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