#this devolves into a ship really fast but hush | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jar-of-maise · 7 months

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incorrect quotes with my new fav trio

starring wriothesley, clorinde and neuvillette bc i said so

Wriothesley: What do you think Neuvillette will do for a distraction? Clorinde: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do. *Building explodes and several car alarms go off* Clorinde: ... or he could do that.

...

Wriothesley: How's the sexiest person here~? Neuvillette: I don't know, how are they~? Wriothesley: I- Clorinde, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!

...

Clorinde: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Wriothesley? Wriothesley: … No. Neuvillette: I do! Clorinde: I know, Neuvillette. Neuvillette: I’m sad! Wriothesley: We know, Neuvillette

...

Neuvillette, to Wriothesley and Clorinde: *holding knife out in front of them* Are you or are you not an enemy of the people?! Wriothesley: ... Clorinde: ... Wriothesley: That is such an open-ended question. Clorinde: Yeah, it really depends on a lot of different factors-

...

Wriothesley: We need a diversion. I say Neuvillette gets naked. Neuvillette: No. Clorinde: Who are we trying to distract again?

...

Clorinde, at Neuvillette: Would you like to stay for dinner? Wriothesley, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay forever!?!

...

Clorinde: Ooh, somebody has a crush Wriothesley: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Neuvillette I just think they’re cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about them. *Later that night* Wriothesley, very much awake: Uh oh.

...

Neuvillette: There's no way they like me back. Clorinde: Wriothesley would throw himself in front of a moving car for you. Neuvillette: Wriothesley would throw himself in front of a moving car for fun.

...

Neuvillette: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed. Clorinde: Clorinde: I'm gonna tell them. Wriothesley: Don't you dare.

...

Wriothesley: Is there a cactus where your heart should be? Clorinde: What’s up your ass this morning! Neuvillette: *walks in* ...Hey. Clorinde: Hmm… nevermind. Wriothesley: WAIT NO!

...

Wriothesley: Do you cook? Neuvillette: I made a cake once. Clorinde: Yeah, it was good. Neuvillette: Really? Clorinde: Don’t make me lie twice, Neuvillette.

...

Neuvillette: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming? Clorinde: Can everyone in this godforsaken group please learn the skill called "Think Before You Speak"? Wriothesley: Ya know... it might be.

...

Clorinde: Did Wriothesley just tell me he loved me for the first time? Neuvillette: Yeah, he did. Clorinde: And did I just do finger guns back? Neuvillette: Yeah, you did.

...

Wriothesley: Where are my fucking keys? Clorinde: Wriothesley, Neuvillette is around, can you say it a little nicer? Wriothesley: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING KEYS?!

...

*Neuvillette dies in a game with ships* Wriothesley: This ship is no longer a ship of love, it's a ship of vengeance, a gavel of justice against all that is wrong in the world, showing no mercy, as no mercy was shown to us. Wriothesley: The spark of love will now fuel the fires of destructive glory as I wage my war across the world with righteous fury. Clorinde: Legend has it that Neuvillette still haunts the ship, stealing my fucking drinks. Neuvillette: Of course I do.

...

Wriothesley: How do you tell someone that you wanna have sex with them in a polite way? Neuvillette: Excuse me [insert name]. Would you give me the honours of indulging in sexual activities with you? Clorinde: What the fuck is wrong with you two?

...

Clorinde: Hey, no, you stay out of this, this is between me and Wriothesley! Neuvillette: So Wriothesley knows about this? Clorinde, walking away: No, this is between me and me!

...

Neuvillette: *is wearing silk pants* How does this look? Wriothesley: Like its slips on and off really easily. Neuvillette: Wriothesley: No, I didn't mean it like that- Clorinde: We know what you meant.

...

Clorinde: What have you done with Neuvillette? Wriothesley: Nothing. Why, do you think I should?

...

Neuvillette, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe? Wriothesley: Yeah, sure. *A few minutes later* Wriothesley: Here you go. Neuvillette: Wriothesley: Clorinde: Why am I here?

...

Wriothesley: I’m this close to falling in love with Neuvillette. Clorinde: Your fingertips are touching. Wriothesley: Exactly.

...

Neuvillette: Would you take a bullet for me? Wriothesley: ...yes? *Clorinde angrily burst into the room* Neuvillette: *running away* Great, thanks!

guys i love them a healthy amount i swear. NOW DIE ON THIS HILL WITH ME

PART II is now up!

#wriothesley #clorinde #neuvillette #i love them #they are my new babies #they are so silly #this devolves into a ship really fast but hush #platonic (mostly?) male and female friendships #wriolette #just a sprinkle #headcanons #genshin headcanons #incorrect quotes #genshin incorrect quotes #will become a series

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depressedkakashihatake-fics · 3 years

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Fond Memories

Hatake Kakashi (No Ship)

1563 Words

For: @caffeinatedshinobi

Spending his night out with friends was a rare occurrence, one that was meant to be treasured and remembered fondly on a bad day, or during the last precious moments of life.

Instead, Kakashi was trying to get drunk, and fast.

“Whoa slow down,” Gai’s hand came down over his glass, preventing him from shooting back his third cup of sake. “What is the rush, Rival? We’re supposed to be relaxing.”

“I don’t think ‘relaxing’ is a word that exists in Kakashi’s vocabulary,” Glaring over at Asuma, he huffs when his friend simply responds with a playful smile. “You know it’s true. Your idea of ‘relaxing’ is reading that book of yours.”

“That is relaxing for me,” He grumbled, though it was sort of a lie. Most days he just read his book because it was easy to do. It didn’t involve a lot of energy, no emotional investment since he knew what was going to happen, and it kept his mind occupied. “Fine, let’s do something ‘relaxing’ then. What’s relaxing?”

He looks to Kurenai for an answer. There’s no way he trusts whatever idea comes out of Asuma’s mouth, and he’s pretty sure Gai doesn’t know the meaning of the word ‘relaxing’. The only time he relaxes at all is when he has a stick of dango in his hand.

Taking the hint, Kurenai leaned back in her chair and took a moment to think about the request. After a few minutes a small smile started to pull at the corner of her lips, meaning she had come up with an idea.

“Let’s share memories,” she leaned forward, her smile so big it could almost rival Gai’s regular toothy grin. “Talk about our favorite memory with our team. How about it?”

That didn’t sound nearly as exciting as she made it seem.

“Does anyone even have a favorite memory?” He asked, relaxing into his chair and watching as everyone turned to look at him. “What?”

“Surely you have a favorite memory of the time you have spent with your team, Rival,” There’s a worried look on Gai’s face.”A time when you looked at your students and couldn’t help but smile, or feel like everything was perfect for just a few minutes.”

Bold of Gai to assume he liked his students.

“Even if you aren't particularly fond of your students,” Good old reliable Asuma. He always seemed to know what was on Kakashi’s mind in moments like this, and he held no judgement unlike a certain Taijutsu expert currently gasping in disbelief. “There must be one moment where you looked at them and thought ‘huh, they’re not so bad’”

Not so bad?

That was possible, though he’d have to think about it to remember such a scenario since most of his memories with Team Seven involved endless headaches. Naruto being a constant pain in his ass, Sasuke being...well, Sasuke. Sakura was in there somewhere too but she didn’t stick out as much.

It was a downfall of not being a complete monster, but he appreciated that there was at least one normal person on his team. It was also a result of being the smartest out of the three, so he didn’t have to worry so much about her doing incredibly stupid shit.

He’d have to think really hard to come up with a fond memory that didn’t involve contemplated murder.

“Oh no, he’s making the thinking face.” Asuma’s voice cut through his thoughts, followed by Kurenai’s laughter and the distant sound of Gai asking him if he was alright.

He ignored it all, determined to find just one fond memory with his team of gremlins.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ichiraku Ramen

Not his favorite place to eat out at, but these days it was the one he saw the inside of the most. All thanks to one orange clad genin currently in the middle of screaming about how he’s going to be Hokage one day.

Quite the dream to have, for a kid who can’t keep his trap shut on a mission.

“You don’t believe me?” Taking his chopsticks, Naruto poked Sasuke in the nose. “It’s true. I’m going to be Hokage and i’m going to prove to the whole village that i’m the strongest there is.”

“You might want to focus on learning how to throw a kunai properly first,” Sasuke swatted the chopsticks away from his face. “besides, what are you going to even do as Hokage? Make it a law that everyone has to eat at Ichiraku Ramen every day?”

He didn’t need to hear Naruto’s enthusiastic ‘yes’ to feel sick to his stomach. He was already eating more Ramen than he could handle. How Naruto survived on the stuff every day was beyond him.

“I think the most important thing you’re forgetting here is that a Hokage should be a good leader,” Sakura spoke up. “How can you be a good leader when you can’t even get along with your own teammates?”

Point for Sakura, again.

So far she was winning in his ‘who gets to be my favorite’ competition.

Not that it was hard with teammates like hers.

“I can learn,” Naruto protested. “Besides, we have the best Sensei out of all of them! We’ll be the strongest in the village, all three of us.”

He can’t tell if Naruto is just being nice, or if he actually believed what he’s saying. If it’s the second one he has to question Naruto’s logic in calling HIM the best sensei in the village.

That title clearly went to Gai, but it might help that his students were less determined to put him in an early grave.

and that he had actually wanted to be a Sensei, unlike Kakashi.

“You’re not wrong there,” Sakura beamed. “Kakashi-Sensei’s far from perfect…” rude. “but he’s an amazing Sensei. Don’t you agree Sasuke-kun?”

Ok, he could forgive the rudeness for that one.

Turning his eyes towards Sasuke, he waited for a response to Sakura’s question. A smile pulled at his lips when he saw the Uchiha glaring over at him.

“He’s not terrible,” Sasuke admitted in a hushed tone. “I’ve learned from worse.”

It wasn’t the best compliment, but he was willing to take it.

“Hey, Sensei,” Naruto nudged him in the side. “You like teaching us, right? Showing us how to be the best shinobi in the village.”

How had he ended up with Minato-sensei 2.0 staring up at him with bright blue eyes and a smile that could melt any heart

Well, any heart that wasn’t his.

His heart and soul thrived off of being the guy that showed affection through insults and jabs. Probably not the best trait to have when one is a Jonin-sensei.

“Of course i like teaching you,” he turned his attention to the bowl of still untouched Ramen sitting in front of him. “There’s no other students dumb enough to get hit with the ‘thousand years of death’ twice.”

No, he was not going to let Naruto live it down after he had successfully used his father’s goofy old attack on the kid again during training today.

“S-sensei…” Naruto’s head hit the counter, his voice full of shame and defeat.

Good.

He was getting too comfortable. Too chummy.

“Best Sensei maybe,” Sasuke grumbled beside them “biggest ass hole for sure.”

Well, at least they were starting to understand him. They couldn’t fully appreciate his personality if they thought he was just socially awkward. They needed to accept that their sensei was a bully just as much as they were.

It’s what made them all a perfect team, even if he did want to murder them all most days.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Smiling to himself, Kakashi turned his attention back over to Kurenai, who began to look very concerned as soon as he did.

“D-is everything ok?” She asked cautiously. “Did you come out of your thoughts in one piece.”

His friends were just as much ass holes as he was, and he loved them for it.

“I thought of a fond memory,” he informed her, laughing to himself as he thought back to it once again. “I guess i do have one of those.”

Gai’s hand came down on his shoulder hard, shoving him forward suddenly and forcing him to reach out and grab hold of the table for support.

“That’s great, Rival!” Gai’s voice boomed in his ear. “Tell us! What is this fond memory of your team you found?”

“Mmmm, i don’t think I will,” there’s a sense of pride that bubbles up inside of him when all three of his friends slam their hands down on the table in protest. “It’s my memory to enjoy all on my own.”

“You can’t just…” Asuma’s words devolve into a string of nonsense while Gai starts screaming about ‘youthful passion’ and ‘rivalry’. Meanwhile, Kurenai just leans back into her chair with a groan and closes her eyes, clearly done with the entire situation.

This.

This was relaxing for him.

Annoying all of his friends with little to no effort and watching them react with a variety of different emotions.

This is why he hung out with them.

Because they made his life interesting, and they never got so used to his trolling horrible ways (As Asuma liked to refer to it) that they stopped reacting.

This is what he loved about these three and he never wanted it to change.

#Hatake Kakashi #Yuhi Kurenai #Saratobi Asuma #Maito Gai #Uzumaki Naruto #Haruno Sakura #Uchiha Sasuke #Kakashi is a dick #but he knows he's a dick and he has fun with it XD

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ceealaina · 4 years

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Title: Man on the Run Collaborator Name: ceealaina Card: 4008 Link: AO3 Square Filled: R4 - Old Team Ship: Background Pepper/Nat, Background IronHusbands Rating: Teen Major Tags: Fluff and Humour, Team as Family, Post-Endgame, Fix-It Summary: Saving the world is important. But Tony really, really just wants to retire and spend time with his family. And if faking his death is the only way to do that, that's how it goes sometimes. Word Count: 1115

Everyone stood out on the property of the Stark Cabin, staring out at the water as they watched the wreath of flowers with the first arc reactor, the ‘proof that Tony has a heart’ disappear into the distance. Nobody spoke, hardly anyone even breathed, not wanting to address what was happening.

And then Steve sighed.

“This is stupid, Tony,” he announced loudly, breaking the strange hush. He looked directly at the man standing over by the tree, wearing a cowboy hat and Clark Kent glasses. His normally immaculate beard was filled in unevenly with what appeared to be magic marker, simulating thick, bushy sideburns that came to a point on his chin. “I can see you.”

“Nope,” Tony intoned, not even looking over at him. “I’m dead.”

In front of Steve, wearing sunglasses and holding a to-go cup of coffee, Jim Rhodes nodded. “Super dead,” he agreed.

“There, there, Colonel,” Tony called over to him. “I know Mr. Stark’s death was a particularly tragic loss for you.”

“Love of my life. Gone too soon,” Rhodey deadpanned. “And that’s Dr. Stark, thank you.”

Behind the ridiculous marker moustache, Steve caught Tony’s lips twitching up into a pleased grin. He sighed again, wondering if, in fact, he had died, and now he was in hell.

Steve had tried to appeal to Pepper beforehand. He got the point Tony was making; retirement hadn’t worked, the only way he was getting out of the superhero business and spending time with his daughter was if he “died” before it actually killed him. And maybe he shouldn’t have been surprised, considering Tony’s flare for the dramatic, but an entire funeral felt ridiculous to him. It wasn’t as though they didn’t all know that Tony was alive, and standing there, and that his “disguise” had been drawn on my Morgan -- the fact that she was sporting matching magic marker facial hair was a dead giveaway.

Pepper, however, had ignored Steve’s attempts at reason. Instead she looked back at him in that way that simultaneously terrified him and turned him on a little, and said, “How dare you, Captain. I’m a widow.”

And then, because apparently drama ran in the Iron Family, she’d shown up at Tony’s “funeral” in full black mourning wear, complete with a veil covering her face. Steve glanced over at her, standing on his far side, next to Nat.

“I still can’t believe you’re onboard with this,” he grumbled. “I thought you were supposed to be the sensible one!”

Pepper gave an unconcerned shrug, twining her fingers with Nat’s. “I’ve been saying being a hero would kill him for a decade. Did you expect me to pass up the opportunity to be right?”

Tony made a show of shuddering at that, hissing through his teeth. “Good thing I’m -- he’s -- already dead, ‘cause that burn would have cremated me -- him -- alive.”

Steve just rolled his eyes as Rhodey snickered, he and Tony sharing an air high five from three feet away. “I hate you all,” he grumbled.

Bucky gave him a pat on the back then, something that was probably supposed to seem comforting, but felt more like he was making fun of him. “I don’t really think you’re in a place to be calling anyone out, pal,” he pointed out. “You missed Pepper and Nat’s wedding.”

Steve groaned for what felt like the millionth time that day. “I thought that was a joke!”

He really had. The invitation had arrived only a day after he’d come back from returning the Infinity Stones with Nat in tow. He hadn’t even known they were together; how was he supposed to know they were actually getting married? It wasn’t until the next day that he’d found out that not only had it not been a joke, but that everyone had been there -- including the recently deceased Tony. Thor had married them because, as Nat had told Steve later, “Married under god, married by a god. It’s like world peace.” Steve had no idea what that meant.

(Bucky, apparently, had taken Sam. He’d found the whole thing delightful.)

“Rude,” Nat told him noq, standing on tiptoe to give Pepper a quick kiss. “I know it was fast, but missed opportunities and all that.”

Pepper gave her new wife a besotted smile, sweet enough to make even Steve calm down a little. And then she ruined it with, “Besides, with Tony’s death, it was better to get remarried ASAP. Helps with the inheritance and stocks issues.”

Steve was pretty sure that wasn’t even right, but he wasn’t going to waste time arguing.

***

Later, when the service was finished and they’d moved inside for the reception, which had rapidly devolved into a party, Steve couldn’t seem to stop himself from watching Tony. He watched as he passed Morgan off to Happy, giving her a long, long hug before she headed off for her nap. He watched the quiet moment he shared with Pepper, the less quiet kiss that he shared with Rhodey, the way he comforted Peter when he caught him crying in the corner because, “I know it’s not real, Mr. Stark, but it could be.”

He lost him after that, drawn into a debate between Sam and Bucky over the difference between lox and smoked salmon. After that he ducked out onto the porch for a breath of fresh air, and then suddenly Tony was at his elbow, Steve’s super serum reflexes the only thing keeping him from jumping out of his skin -- not that he was going to tell him that.

“You alright, Cap?” he asked, and he was laughing but there was something softer around his eyes now. Steve noticed the way he rubbed at his right arm, full mobility not yet returned. “You’re seeming a little off, and I know this level of shenanigans isn’t your usual scene.”

“No, I'm fine,” he insisted, trying to play it off. But maybe Peter had something, because the next moment he was grabbing Tony’s arm -- his good one -- to keep him from walking away. “I’m just really glad you’re here, Tony.”

Tony grinned, but he settled his other hand over Steve’s, rubbing against his skin in the way Steve imagined he might soothe Morgan after a nightmare. “Me too,” he told him, honestly. “But don’t worry, Cap. Fake funeral aside, I’m not going anywhere any time soon.” He looked at him seriously for a long moment, and then broke out into a bright grin. “Besides. I know you’re not Captain America anymore, and I know I’m technically dead now, but I’m still available for consulting.” He grinned wide, offering Steve a wink. “My office hours are between eight and five every other Thursday.”

@tonystarkbingo

#tonystarkbingomarkiv #tsbmiv #steve rogers #tony stark #james rhodes #pepper potts #natasha romanoff #post-endgame #fix-it #fluff and humour #team as family #crack treated seriously #background relationships #fic #my fic

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asktheseawitch · 6 years

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[Random Drabble for @thatchtheawesomecook because my brain is weird]

From her peripheral vision she continued to watch them from where she was perched on the railing that rimmed the upper and lower decks. A group of brothers, Thatch included, were speaking in hushed tones and occasionally giving her side glances. From the mixture of smug and goofy looks among them Serena didn’t feel threatened per se but she didn’t feel at ease either. With how long she had been with her hosts, the young woman knew that she was growing out of her “guest” grace period. Meaning that she was just as likely a target for pranks as anyone.

Across the deck, Thatch and a handful of brothers were discussing the events of the past week. It was a long story of how it started, mostly that “favors owed” to fellow brothers were turned into dares, but it had now devolved into a full-blown series of dares to try and get other members of the group to chicken out. You know. For fun. Seeing as there were seldom times on the ship where mischief wasn’t being made.

“Come on, Thatch. It’ll be hilarious!”

“Ya, especially when he hits the water after she tosses him overboard…”

“Nothing he hasn’t experienced with Marco, it’ll be fine!”

The cook took another cautious look over his shoulder at the zoan who continued to sun herself. Over his other shoulder Izo could be seen conversing with Marco just a few paces away.”And it has to be now?”

“Right now and on the lips.”, Emil clarified, a satisfied smile beaming past his blond hair. His relatively new brother was assigned to Thatch’s division and, even so, he caught on quick to the antics of the senior members. “That sounds just fine to me!”, Thatch replied, straightening his shirt and bandana. “It’s not nearly as bad as having to steal Izo’s favorite comb and frame Ace for the theft…” “SHHHHHSSHHHHH!! Not so loud! Commander Izo’s still pissed about that, man. I want to live!”, Emil hissed, placing himself deeper into group of brothers as not to draw attention to himself. Thatch ruffled the hiding man’s hair with a hardy laugh before turning on his heel to approach the witch.

A deep laughter caught her full attention as she noticed Thatch’s approach, though Serena couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary: No brothers were following after him, the cook had nothing in his hands, and he had his typical cheery smile. It was just Thatch. Unbeknownst to the witch, however, behind that smile was a string of tactical thoughts. Thatch knew that he would have to make it fast, make sure both Izo’s and Marco’s back was turned, as well as be clear out of the way before any kind of retaliation could be made.

“Hello, Thatch.” Came a greeting as he drew near. “And hello to you too, beautiful.”, came the reply and he watched as the zoan made an amused face at his chosen term of endearment. That meant that she was comfortable around him and that’s exactly what he needed. Thatch too leaned on the railing, it now made the two relatively the same height, which could also be used to his advantage. “I do have a question for you, though.”, he continued. “Oh? and what would th-”. Before she could finish her sentence, before she could even finish the next thought, a pressure on the back of her head forced her closer to his face. In the same movement, the cook kissed her square on the lips, tender and gentle.

The glances. The chuckles. The slight air of impishness. It all made sense to her now and she was hellbent on not letting him get away with it. The kiss broke, Thatch drew back, but not before the witch snatched onto his bandana and dragged him back to her, placing her lips back onto his with force. She could feel his shoulders tense in surprise, as honestly anyone would in this situation. This allowed her jut seconds to take advantage of how high the railing placed her in comparison to Thatch, wrapping her legs around his torso and drawing herself off the railing and onto him. With the sudden added weight, Thatch struggled to regain his balance but even then, Serena wouldn’t let up.

This wasn’t about love or lust, but instead a demonstration of dominance. If this is the game he wanted to play then she would switch up the rules and play it better. Unfortunately for our cheery cook, the witch needed to make an example out of him. With other brothers around, she couldn't have them thinking that she could be made an easy target for their amusement. It needed to be understood that, if they did choose to mess with her, then something would become of them. Given, that didn't automatically mean that it would happen to them would be bad but...did they really want to take that chance?

Finally he steadied himself, a series of ‘whoops’ and hollers could be heard but that didn't seem to bother the young woman in the slightest. He really didn't know what to make of it honestly. Confused was the bundle surrounding and containing the rest of the mix of emotions in response to Serena’s onslaught. However, it did most certainly feel nice: her body pressed against his torso, hips rolling against his to maintain her grip, and those full lips pulling his too and fro with ease. His heart rate was spiking and perhaps it was a good time to pull back for air and- he was simply pulled back in again.

Thatch most certainly was not getting away that easily, a smirk cornering her lips with every kiss. It wasn’t until the cheers died down, an awkward tension mounting, and Thatch got into an almost comfortable rhythm with her that she tore away with a wet ‘pop’. Serena drew back to take a good look at him, both were panting and flushed, but his deeper shade ensured her victory. “Do I make myself clear?” The question was spoken with confidence as she, for once, looked down at Thatch, very much comfortable in this dominating persona. “Yes”, came a winded response, as the cook was catching on quickly what this was about. “Excellent” And with that he was immediately released. The witch letting go fully, landing feet-first on the planks of the deck.

“If you don’t want reactions like that, then don’t do that again.” The line clearly drawn, she turned to leave.

“And what if I do?”

“Hm?” She stopped.

“What if I do want reactions like that?”

She looked over her shoulder to a cheeky smile complimenting the cook’s flushed face. Every time. Every time without fail he always had something to say. That cool and calm persona from a moment ago slipped away and she smiled at him, still over her shoulder.

“Still don’t do that again.”

#ransom drabble #Ft. Thatch #thatchtheawesomecook #Ok so how much do I have to pay you to not tell Rya?#I'm making up brothers here don't mind me #She doesn't mind the kiss but being the punchline of a dare doesn't sit well with her #text

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