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#theyre both trans btw. in what way? fuck around and find out
qrowscant-art · 11 months
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heaven is a shade of lavender
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yuukei-yikes · 1 year
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Um hiya vinnie,I've liked kagepro since i was like 13 so um do u have any prn hcs for the mekadan? If thats ok 2 ask
FUCK YEAHHH CRACKS KNUCKLES
ayano: she/her but in a deeply transgender way
kido: they/them but also...why not a lil bit of he/him. transmasc kido my beloved...
seto: he/him also in a deeply transgender way.
kano: he/they/it YEAHH WOOO YEAHHHH also transmasc btw if u even care. but i could also transfem ray him he has the range tbh
mary: she/they, doesnt rly care much though. that sonic comic thats like knuckles what are ur pronouns. (saeru: SETO WHAT ARE MARYS PRONOUNS seto: we usually just use she but they dont really care)
momo: she/it, probably a bunch of neos too. the more the better. transfem btw. that whole thing distances her and shintaro even more as kids bc he doesnt understand it very well. meeting ayano helps
takane: they/she/he/it. idk if its bc theyre a favorite or they just have that much gender. canon blue hair and all you know. so nonbinary it makes you look stupid
shintaro: he/him. hes the diversity hire and the only cis person in the dan. ive seen transmasc shintaro hcs and like ofc its awesome but to me it just changes his whole foundation... if a boy, to me he is cis. if trans shintaro...ok hear me out. transfem shin COME ONNN COME ON COME ONNNN C ok yeah that rly self indulgent hc aside, cis 💔 also has a hard time understanding...everyone else. when finding out ayano is trans his brain breaks. he especially cant understand the nonbinaries hes like JUST PICK ONE !!! sry cis shintaro is so funny he keeps wanting to act like a victim for it (confusion and self hatred shed feel in a transfem hc...oughoigh ok sorry ill move on)(puts down the stress ball with shintaro face printed on it)
hibiya: HE/HIM BABY TRANS💗💗💗 gets his first binder from the dan as a gift. kido teaches him to put it on. weehhh wehhhhh sniff sniff but also transfem egg hibiya would be so awesum too😳 both are good. but he is so deeply transgender either way
haruka: he/she. demiboy or demigirl whichever but so epic and genderfluid :) when he is a girl and she is a boy
konoha: it/its cuz unauthorized fucking thing /pos /pos /pos but when it was around, the dan used he/him sort of in the same way they use she for mary lol (kido: indicative but not exclusive to your gender identity. konoha: stop swearing at me)
hiyori: she/her, transfem. no one knows. knew she was a girl since like 0 seconds old. in my sick twisted mind the way hibiya and hiyori become friends in a route like the novels for example, where they didnt rly speak much before their trip together is cuz hiyori finds out hibiya is trans and decides he HAS to be her friend but doesnt Actually tell him that she's trans. probably only tells him after meeting the dan bc thats the whole lgbt community so she's like damn okay
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fox-steward · 3 years
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hi. i hope you don't mind me asking this but i need some advice.
i was born female, and ive always been a tomboy, sometimes in the most stereotypical way. i was also a little lesbian who didn't know it yet. but after my younger sibling came out to me as trans, i started second guessing everything about myself.
for the sake of my sibling, who im closer to than anyone in my life, i learned about what theyre going through to support them and ended up getting taken in myself. i consumed all the yaoi and gay fanfiction they did, i read up on all the identities that were within the trans umbrella and eventually i started to think i wasnt a girl at all, but my infact a feminine transboy.
i never was able to transition on account of my family but the growing inner hate i felt for myself made me want to because deep down I knew that no matterr what i said or believed, id never be the cis gay boys i, essentially, fetishised and craved to be. it made me miserable, but i wanted to be accepted so badly that i stuck with it. but then i fou d your blog and others like it, and reading through it, whole reevaluating myself made me realise how misguided my mindset was.
despite realising that me being a tomboy is perfectly fine, i cant help but cling to that idea of being a boy, even though i have no idea what it means to "be a boy" or "feel like a boy". all i know is what the media portrays boys, feminine boys and gay boys to be like, and i clung to that idea for so long that i believed it to be my identity.
i just wanted to ask, if i can, how can i get over this mindset? i feel terrible because my younger sibling still identifies as trans without a shadow of a doubt, and my questioning of myself makes me feel awful, but i also feel bad because... i dont know who i am really now. how can i just be me again?
sorry this is long. any advice would be very very much appreciated.
it sounds like you’ve been through it, anon. whew! i just wanna acknowledge what a mindfuck you’ve been through, and it’s normal to feel no so great.
i actually think you’re grieving, strange as that sounds, but hear me out. being female is not easy, being a masculine woman comes with its own set of challenges, and imagining yourself as a “gay transboy” was an escape from all that. you could imagine a future for yourself where you grew up to be a gay man, not a gay woman. it’s worth noting relationships between men are the only sexual/romantic pairing that isn’t party to misogyny within the relationship itself.
it’s intoxicating to imagine we could have that ourselves, huh? it happened to me too, and i’m not even actually attracted to males at all, i was really just seduced by the idea of a relationship of equals.
but this. is. a. fantasy. one we as female people can never achieve.
so you’re grieving the vision you had for your future. your grief doesn’t care that the thing you promised yourself is impossible.
you’re undergoing another shift in the way you see yourself, the way you imagine yourself moving through the world. that’s hard, anon. being a tomboy, while absolutely lovely and perfectly fine, can be really difficult in our misogynistic society. it’s like that dworkin quote i’m about to butcher—something something absolutely excruciating to be fully aware of the misogyny all around us. you get the gist. and she’s right, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.
so idk, i don’t have any specific advice, but i do know a lot about grief. with grief, you gotta accept you’re gonna feel shitty for a while and absolve yourself of the responsibility of ~fEeLiNg HaPpY~ for now. i’m being flippant because happiness is a mirage anyway. we get pricks of joy, moments of brightness or laughter, flow and contentment, enjoyment, pleasure, and these fill in between other moments of discomfort or monotony or tedium or malaise or or or. and if we’re lucky we are aware when the good stuff is happening, so that we can pause and say, gee this is nice. and if you get enough of then and you’re aware enough as they’re happening, perhaps you can tie it up in a bow of hindsight and call it contentment.
tangent, sorry. practically, keep yourself busy and tire yourself the fuck out, tbh. when my wife left, i started just going and doing things, anything i didn’t actively NOT want to do. dancing, concerts, art class, bike ride, walk a friends dog, cooking class, sit in a field and listen to music.
just do anything. i know it’s hard during covid, but it isn’t so much WHAT you do but THAT you do. take the field example—you have to travel there (that kills time!) and maybe you walk or bike (that is physical activity) then you do the thing you planned to do (takes more time) and you have to travel home (more time and activity) then you have completed something you set out to do (an achievement/free endorphins).
i also took up running when she left (tire myself the fuck out) and that changed so much for me. with grief, rumination and sleeplessness plagued me; running took both those out of the equation. so my sleep improved, i got stronger and my cardiovascular fitness improved, i ate better, i got to see myself improve and achieve goals, got to build an identity separate from who i was in my marriage. so i cannot recommend running enough.
and as for identity, finding out “who you are”—identity is a trap. don’t cement yourself to any one thing because everything changes. don’t define yourself by externalities, just be open and curious about your inner life, your qualities (which are also able to change btw) and start to strengthen the ones you like, like training a muscle. i practice (literally practice) kindness and discipline, which are important qualities for how i see myself. i also practice at compassion and i like how these things make me feel and how i show up in the world when i’m practicing at them. what qualities will you train in yourself?
you’re not defined in relation to your sibling, btw, and they aren’t defined in relation to you. you can question transness while still loving them.
you’re gonna be just fine, anon. you have plenty of time. grieve the future you can’t have, even though it’s truly for the best, and cultivate a person in yourself you’re excited to be. good luck.
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