After the Lonely

It's not even a joke anymore I need to see Mey Rin.

I'm still working on the recap for "Rude, Red, and Royal" so I obviously won't be writing up today's episode yet (which oddly doesn't have a title on Crunchyroll), but uh... it sure was a thing!

I've got a lot to say about the lampshading of major writing issues, straight up ignoring the Salem question for the fourth Volume in a row, the girls' messy visions, and the cat interrupting Ruby's internal conflict right as we were getting somewhere. However, what really stood out to me was the framing of Ruby's hardships like some inevitability, as if she's a Chosen One forced by fate to suffer through the Salem crisis, and not a teenager who literally wrested that responsibility from others.

Hey, vision!Ruby? You're thinking of Ozpin. Like, for real. The character whose unwanted responsibility it is to make things better, the one who the whole world depends on, forced into an unambiguously unfair fight against an immortal monster forever and ever and ever? That's Ozpin. The story gave that role to Ozpin, not our protagonist, which remains a BIG problem for the heart of the story. Ruby is not the one cursed by the Gods and trapped in an endless cycle of pain, suffering an obvious personal loss due to the Big Bad (because lbr we only found out last season that Salem even knew who Summer was and we still don't know whether she actually killed her). Ruby chose this, she demanded it, and she's been at it for... a couple of months? At most? Yeah, can we give this vision to the guy who's been at it for literal lifetimes after watching all four of his daughters burn to death instead? Give Ruby something that actually reflects her struggles and mistakes.

🫂🖤💛 | #GMMTVSafeHouseSS4D7

A few quick random tidbits about Yanshang Teahouse:

— Teahouse/casino. While said to be 'disguised' as a teahouse, Yanshang does seem to genuinely function as one, or at least during the daytime. And it's primarily during the evening hours that it functions more actively as a casino. Now I need to note, the latter is not public knowledge. Or rather, it's more so a rumor that holds a fair bit of truth to it. But a rumor is a rumor nonetheless. This is vital, because it is because of this that it is still running. I've spoken a fair bit about this behind the scenes lately, but Yanshang functions as a casino because it draws 'less than good people' into a surrounding that has everything playing against them, and through that, Yelan is able to gather intelligence that benefits everyone, especially Ning. So if the latter for example, Ningguang were to know its full ins and outs, it would actually mean that she'd have to turn a blind eye to something that is not fully legal, which spells all kinds of trouble for the person responsible for, well, the law in Liyue Harbor?

— Gambling. Yelan has gained a reputation for her gambling skills, and is even rumored to cheat when the need calls for it (though of course, this isn't picked up on, it seems!), as is noted in her fifth character story: "If there is a draw, that could only mean one thing: Her opponents are cheating too.", and so potential opponents are advised to steer clear of playing against her through word on the streets of the harbor.

— Home? While this is not Yelan's home whatsoever, there is an upstairs area that is something akin to her 'private quarters'. It holds no personal affects that are tied to her directly, but to an extent, if one were to ever intrude/break in (past The Halbert and the Fang, somehow), you'd find the 'guise' tied to this notorious woman who owns Yanshang. But this guise is not quite her. Again, she works in personas, some much more realistically than others (the art of it, is knowing what of yourself you put into personas as to add to their authenticity's longevity). Either way, there is a comfort and peace that she finds in it, and the room is somewhat styled into a decorum that Yelan appreciates, beyond the 'keeping up appearances' aspect to it. It is hers in the end, to some degree.

— Finances. While one would be led to believe that Yelan gains a lot of financial benefits through Ningguang, Yelan's second character story might beg to differ: 'The way (Yelan) sees it, she is not so much working for Ningguang as making good on her end of the deal, or rather... she is honoring a certain pact. She plucks the fruits of intelligence from the tree of danger for Ningguang, and in return, all she asks for is danger itself and the sense of achievement.' While I'm decently certain that Yelan might occasionally stand to gain some sort of financial gain through the Qixing, it seems evident that it's not what her primary motive is. Yelan seems to not be interested in luxury by default (she lived in a hut for a long time), and more so seeks a sense of freedom, thrill and personal achievement. Now do I think that because of this, she's not well off? No, I simply think that the majority of her income may actually come from Yanshang Teahouse, and, to put it not-so-eloquently, ripping off bandits, and hopefully, specifically some Fatui in the process.

So this post by @dis-a-ppointment, about Will reaching out to hold Mike's hands after he sees that he wants to, showed up on my Pinterest feed and my hand slipped

They're in the van again, but this time the atmosphere is thick with smoke, and spores, and quiet, swallowed dread. Strewn around their feet is a pool of metal and duct tape, rope and broken glass, lashed together into makeshift weapons, piled atop each other such that you can't tell where one ends and the other begins. It rattles softly as the wheels meet bumps in the road. The four boys know they're on their way to the final battle of this war, and none of them dare to breathe too loud, lest they crack the tentative veil between their resolve to end this hell...

and the knowledge that they might die today.

In the back seat, the boy on the left side of the van has a brush of lightly sun-kissed brown hair across his forehead, and a distant expression on his face. He drums his fingers on the seat, lost in thought.

To his right, the boy in the green camouflage vest that hangs loosely and awkwardly over his lanky frame watches, without even really realizing it, the gentle rhythmic motion of the pads of his friend's fingers against the worn faux leather. The corner of his mouth twitches, almost imperceptibly.

He registers a pale shape delicately encroaching on the edges of his vision, inching nearer towards the boy on the seat beside him, and then his head catches up with what his eyes are telling him and his breath hitches, yanking his arm back to his side when he realizes it was his own hand trying to bridge the gap between them. He presses it against his thigh and squares his gaze onto his own feet. It's getting awfully cold in the van.

The boy to his left stills his fingers and chances a look, finding a tangle of black hair blocking his view of the other's face. Out of the corner of his eye, he did notice what had just happened, and the low droning in the back of his skull, occupying his mind with old nightmares, seems to ebb as his focus is drawn away to another thought. He looks at the distance stretching between himself and the seat next to him, and it's the deepest chasm he's even seen, stretching on for miles, and it's nothing, just a strand of spider silk that could be blown aside by any passing wind.

He thinks.

And he reaches out.

The boy on the right side of the van startles when he feels something warm prod gently at his first knuckle. His head turns to meet cautious hazel eyes and a slightly furrowed brow, asking something that couldn't quite be articulated with words, but still flitted across his face with nervousness, concern, longing, and little beautiful traces of uncertain hope in the way his lip upturned ever so slightly that it tugged at his cheek. They turned their gaze to the space between them. The pale, freckled hand hesitated only for a moment before gingerly lifting from where it had been sentenced, and offering its outstretched palm.

Their fingers intertwined and settled comfortably, thumbs running soothingly over knuckles, wrists stacked atop one another, and only then did either of the boys breathe again. The thick red haze choking their world parted for a moment as they were drawn closer, suddenly consumed by the need for warmth, scooting into the middle so one could rest his head on the shoulder of the other as they closed their eyes to focus on the grounding touch. Their chests rose and fell in tandem, thumbs still rubbing circles into each other's skin, and the dread of what was to come seemed to melt away into a harmless background hum as the two held each other.

That would come later. This is now.

Thinking abt the time travel fix it fic I have spinning around in my head. Unfortunately for it to work I have to kill off basically every single character of importance which is all well and good it just feels kind of brutal

Ugh I was excited for today until I found out I'd have to spend it with people that actively make me hate being alive hate the future and drain me off all energy physically mentally spiritually like a vampire I can't stand to be around her she is the definition of stupidity and even then that's generous as fuck this bitch has filled her brain with so much garbage I watch her brain cells die at alarming rates every single time she uses her vocal cords her giggles make me want to jam a sewing needle into my ear repeatedly so I can never have to hear it again its a friendly reminder that my parents decisions this time my dad's constantly makes me want to die

i'm sorry THIRTEEN AND FOREMAN KISS????? i did NOT see this one coming. sue me for assuming they were gay in opposite directions

I wanted to ask you a couple questions about the school structure for the Veil if you can talk about it. It seems like the academy and university are fairly closely linked but do they operate basically the same as our hs/uni do? Like picking a major/trade kind of thing. I think I saw that Audric was listed as a post grad but still a trainee so is there reaper uni classes then a sort of practicum afterwards? I hope this makes sense. I’ve tried to write this ask 5 times now

So, I spent some time rooting around my files, because a long while back I drew a map of the campus grounds for the spire...but now I can't find it, so i wonder if it's one of the unfortunate victims that got jumbled when I moved to my new machine. Ah well. But yes! They're quite literally linked, since that's why I even went looking for the file. The two campuses are side by side and share certain amenities.

so these are some super rough unfinished concept things from my files, but this ought to at least show the physical setup. There's a primary school within the spire as well. Somewhere in there. I haven't decided yet, not that it ultra matters, so let's just say it's somewhere in the middle. As for how they operate-- You got it already, more or less! The schools themselves are famous for their reaper program, having been founded by the same scholar who founded the organization itself. Of course, with Veil attuned students being one of the rarer attunements, the island's --uh, resources , to put it kindly, and the focused study needed to train those who would take on the veil's blight, the schools have a bounty of academic wealth to impart on hopeful magi graduates as well as those seeking to become eidolons. So there's several fields here that will gain a shining education in their field if they put in the hard work (... And, strangely enough, they have a pretty good classic lit department.) Using reapers as an example, the path would be as follows: Enrollment to secondary school and all basic curriculum classes as normal > attunement > undergrad prep courses for the reaper program if it's accepted (most do) > first stage of graduation undertakes the Eidolic Aperature (Uncap Ceremony, breaking the limits of magi's natural magic limit) > If successful, second stage will complete the full graduation ceremony and go on to university > training /studying intensifies, focusing more on study (the nature of liminal tears, wraith winds, corruptions, and the tools reapers operate) and choosing which field they will pursue in the program, while all are given a basic training course in specific magics and hunting techniques that ramps up until > completing the four year program, grad students engage in full trade training, working as the island's main service of hunters, scouts and sentries. Audric is currently in the final stage of this, hence the gossip quoting him as "Just a student, but practically the real deal." Primary school is fairly standard as can be, but it's a bit more fun to learn those classic subjects when you have the fun of enchanted textbooks and a kind, quirky siren for a teacher who plans fun aquatic fieldtrips. At least she tends to be everyone's favorite (She's also a grad level professor who works specifically with Aetherbiology majors and Reapers in their first years of university. She's one of Audric's favorite professors-- if not his top favorite.) Lichgate in general is something of an outlier for how its schools operate, though. It isn't exactly standard practice to smash them together at the very top of a spire, or to offer such an exacting focus from the moment of enrollment (on in some certain cases, attunement) until you've essentially gained your equivalent of a doctoral/masters. The location sitting right on the Veil's most unstable liminal tear is to thank for that-- and of course, even if you don't care as much about your education, it somehow manages to be the safest campus. As long as you follow the rules, obey curfew, don't wander off, and do exactly as your professors say during any off-spire excursions, especially.

the people who are adamantly against ever feeding dogs and cats raw food sound ridiculous tbh if you've ever cared for a carnivorous reptile. there are many people who feed whole raw prey to their animals on a regular basis and there are well established safety precautions to make sure neither the human nor the animal get sick from it.

reacclimating to life in civilization remains arduous & it's weird what parts of Being Hunted For Sport mode have fallen off already & how much i'm already taking it for granted & how HORRIFICALLY BAD the parts that should be easy are going

My personal signature in a piece, any piece, is a character that has to come to terms with the fact that things aren't automatically good after they leave their shitty circumstance. Things aren't perfect. They still struggle to fall asleep, still wake up crying. They still ache, deep down in their bones, and it will probably never go away, not really. They wake up on the morning after the war is over, and they look out over the battlefield, and their life is still destroyed.

But it is better. It's better than it was before. And it's not perfect. It's not even good most days. But it is better, and better is enough.

"all this foreshadowing abt declan dying and then he didn't even die" well personally i think declan got murdered dead by mstief in greywaren so. actually 2 me he did die. Badly.

the spanish left when the far right has a rise in popularity after they've spent the last few years playing stupid identity politics games, sucking up to the us, embarrassing themselves in international relationships, passing badly redacted and shitty laws in the name of feminism that only ended up screwing up women and victims of sexual assault, while doing absolutely nothing to stop the rise of costs of living and help working class people and families

Don't think about Billy shaking Max awake when the house is filled with snores not muffled whines. Bruises hidden in the dark but wincing as he lifts his arm, Max rolling away until she stills in realization. They leave together, breath held as the window frame in a bedroom slides up. The Camaro starts - if Billy has the key. maybe they walk the few miles to the pool, Hawkins is small and it's dark and the demodogs aren't coming back. They're making themselves safe, just by leaving for the night.

The pool beckons, familiar shadows in the poolhouse and stacked chairs higher than Max is tall. Billy pulls one down for her, a screech of metal legs over poured concrete. He doesn't wince at the sound as Max raids the lost & found for towels. Or maybe they just keep a stash of towels, a spare set of clothes in Billy's lifeguard locker. No blankets or pillows, nothing that can't be explained away even if they're always gone with the dim rays of dawn peeking through the forest. The pool glitters in those brief moments, almost peaceful even if it's not the sea that Billy misses so badly it aches.

It's not meant to be more than an occasional thing, but Billy can't bear leaving her alone in the house on Cherry Lane. It won't be permanent, he just needs a little more in his rainy day fund. A bank account that Neil can't touch, one that has his name and maybe Susan's on it.

He thinks he'll have enough money for an apartment, maybe a trailer on the other side of town with scraggly weeds and his dealer, by the end of July.

losing my mind losing my mind losing my mind please this is exactly what i wanted to hear about after writing those tags on that post i love you 🥺