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honest-moth-of-silver-grove · 4 months

Note

Can i ask for the Bg3 main companions (and maybe halsin and minthara as well??) comforting a really depressed reader? like they're not eating or sleeping well? could use some comfort. thank u 💕💕

BG3 Characters Comforting A Severely Depressed Reader

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A/N: Here ya go! Have some extremely self-indulgent writing here. I’ve been having a really hard time health-wise lately and it’s been making my depression worse, so I feel ya. Depression sucks y’all.

TW: Depression, Thoughts of Suicide, Mentions of Self-Harm

Astarion:

Listen up honey, baby boy could've written the book on depression, okay?

He’s extremely understanding, especially if your depression manifests as anger or irritability. The gods know how angry he can get thinking about how he was abused and subjected to Cazador’s torture for so long.

Astarion knows depression is more than a feeling of sadness- it’s a raging storm of emotions and behaviors that comes from a brain working in overdrive to survive.

He’ll do little things for you, like leaving you a bouquet of freshly picked flowers or a vial of a new perfume for you to try; just a lot of simple things to remind you how he cares about you, even if you don’t always feel like caring for yourself.

He will help you bathe and/or dress on days those tasks feel overwhelming. He especially loves it when you agree to dress in something a little more fancy. He enjoys getting to shower you with extra compliments as well as seeing the cute half-smiles you give when one of said compliments finally reaches you.

If you’re self-harming, he will take it upon himself to steal any and all pointy things from your tent. Nope, you don’t need them, so hand them over, please. He gets why you feel an urge to do such things, but he asks you to please not to. He suggests letting him feed on you if you absolutely must scratch that itch, so to speak. That way, he can sort of supervise it, and ensure you’re properly cared for after. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that it’s a benefit for him. He thanks you profusely, hoping that one day you’ll stop seeing the act as a punishment and instead see it as an intimate gift, because to him, that’s what you are: a gift.

You are the most important person in his life. Your blood, your joy, your life, your everything is worth more than anyone in the world has to offer. Astarion doesn’t want you to think for a second that it’s something you should throw away, or feel the world would be better off without.

He knows it’s hard. Gods, does he know. And if you had asked him months ago if life were worth living, he might have said ‘no’. But now, he’s met you. And since he’s met you, he’s started seeing the wonder in things again. The beauty.

You are Astarion’s sunshine, his reason to keep going. Please, he asks, let him be your reason. Let him carry your weight when you are unable. Darling, he would steal the moon for you if you let him… don't you ever doubt that.

✧

Gale:

Gale has also experienced depression. After being discarded by Mystra, and then cursed with the orb, he thought life wasn’t worth living anymore. He locked himself away in his tower in Water Deep, refusing to speak to anyone but his tressym, Tara.

He’s understanding when you confess how you feel but ultimately hurt as if your pain were also his own. He cares for you so much. And he thinks it’s such a shame someone so wonderful and bright feels as awful as you do. It’s unfair. And he wishes so much to change it, even though he knows he alone cannot.

He will do his best to look after you though. He’ll encourage you to reach into The Weave with him, to feel the force of magic flow through your veins. It invigorates him and grounds him at the same time. He hopes it does similarly for you.

Gale knows depression makes it feel like caring for yourself is a losing battle, one you simply cannot win, so why bother trying? Which is why he takes it upon himself to do the more basic ‘battles’ for you. He’ll cook and clean, and make sure you’re getting plenty of fluids and rest. It’s not up for debate. He’ll even sic Tara on you if he has to. You will do what’s necessary to heal. He can’t stand seeing you in pain. He just wants you to feel better, and as soon as possible.

If you’re self-harming, he’s saddened and confused. He doesn’t quite understand that it’s not reflective of a deficit on his part. He wonders why his love isn’t enough for you to understand how precious you are. You’ll have to explain to him, how even though you know he loves you, your brain doesn’t let the feeling of being loved in. You explain how you hurt so much on the inside… sometimes it’s just easier to hurt on the outside too.

Once he understands though, he does his best to not take your feelings or self-harming personally. He wants you to be stable on your terms, not only stable with him at your side. Gale knows firsthand that overreliance on a partner often leads to heartbreak further down the road. He’ll just have to become confident enough in your relationship to give you the space you need.

He’ll use healing magic to cover and fix any self-harm cuts or scars. As well as spells to help you sleep at night if you suffer from insomnia. Just say the word, and he’ll find the spell that eases your particular discomforts. Or ask for a simple night of cuddles under the stars. He’s more than happy to provide that too.

Gale loves you, quite possibly more than words could ever hope to convey. Your happiness, in some ways, is an additional extension of his own. He will do everything in his power to make you smile. Just seeing you happy is more than enough for him.

✧

Wyll:

Wyll is a tragic hero in every sense of the word. He knows the lows of depression well.

He sacrificed his freedom to save Baldur’s Gate, and in return, he was disowned by his father, and forced into exile, all while having to serve a demon. He’s spent years mentally beating himself up for that sacrifice, and mentally chiding himself for ever having agreed to Mizora’s deal in the first place. On more than one occasion, he’s found himself wishing he could go back in time and choose differently. It’s an awful feeling to get stuck in, and he wants more than anything, for you to be free of such imprisoning feelings.

He’ll constantly remind you of all of your accomplishments: even the littlest ones- like if you’ve made your bed roll, or if you ate that day, or if you went for a walk, or made a successful conversation with a stranger.

He keeps track of your milestones but also keeps an eye out for any warning signs. He knows you are your own person and that he cannot stop you from doing something, not forever anyway. But he asks that you come to him instead of doing things that put yourself at risk. Please. The two of you can talk it out, or maybe he can show you a few moves with a sword to get that frustration and manic energy out. Whatever you wish, even if it’s just spending quiet time together, he’ll do it, if it means you don’t end up harming yourself.

He’s extra protective of you, especially whenever devils like Mizora or Raphael show up. He knows such creatures prey on vulnerability, and he’ll be damned before they ever take advantage of you. If any devil so much as even brings up the whispers of horrible things you think about yourself, he will dispatch them, immediately. He won’t hesitate for a second. How dare such vile creatures speak to you, an incredible and kind person, in such a way? He won’t stand for it.

He also tries to cheer you up and remind you how much you’re loved using the occasional grand romantic gesture. What can he say? He’s an old-fashioned romantic at heart. A candlelight dinner, a nice night by the fire in a private room at an inn… or even an evening of dancing under the stars; no gesture is too grand or too extravagant for the love of his life.

You are beyond special to him. You are his future. In a way, he sees you as a gift from the Gods, proof that in the end, good deeds do pay out. Can’t you see? You’re his cherished partner. Wyll would do it all over again, exactly the same, even his deal with Mizora, so long as he ends up with you at his side.

You brought a sense of family, pride, security, and love back into Wyll’s life. Let him do what he can to bring that back into yours.

✧

Karlach:

Karlach may be a golden retriever in tiefling form, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t know what it means to be sad. She was betrayed by Gortash, her mentor, and sold to Zariel who quite literally ripped Karlach’s heart out of her chest. There was a time when she didn’t think her heart would ever beat again, now that her physical one was taken. But she did what she had to, and she found a purpose amidst her betrayal using the skills she had to bide her time until she could escape.

For Karlach, she’s no longer in a depressive state. She’s overjoyed at the amount of freedom she’s gained- at the feel of fresh air and actual sunshine on her face. She’s so in love with life. She forgot what it was to live joyfully, and now that she’s remembered, she doesn’t ever want it to stop.

She knows you don’t feel up for it, she gets it. But she won’t stop dragging you to events and new places. She knows it takes time for someone to go through an episode, or episodes, of feeling like shit. She’ll gladly wait them out with you. But she won’t let you take those episodes lying down. She’s going to do what she can to put some joy into your life, whether you want it or not.

Karlach will constantly remind you of how lucky she is to have you. She tells you rather bluntly that she adores you, no characteristic or quirk is safe from her myriad of compliments and gushing. She also makes a point to talk you up to the others, especially after you’ve been self-deprecating lately. She makes it clear just how incredible you are. Everyone should know, especially you.

She will physically restrain you before she lets you self-harm. Although she has to be careful not to burn you accidentally herself, she much prefers holding you through a bout as opposed to asking you to stop and simply hoping for the best. She cares so much for you, she couldn’t chance it. The thought of you hurting yourself when she’s right next door is too much, she couldn't bear it. She’d feel awful like she failed you in some way.

She reminds you how much you do for everyone else, even when you don’t realize it. How you play with Scratch and the Owlbear Cub. How you help Gale find magical objects. Or how you always point out any flowers or plant life within Baldur’s Gate to Halsin to remind him of home. Karlach knows you think of everyone- you’re always putting them first. She wants you to know it’s okay if you have to pull back to put yourself first, to take care of your mental and physical health. It’s not selfish, it’s not rude. You’re doing what you need to do in order to survive. Who amongst you can’t say the same?

She ropes everyone in when it comes to looking after you. They all better be nice or they can answer to her and her big smoldering muscles. And speaking of big flaming muscles…

She knows she can’t beat the depression for you, but Karlach’ll be damned if you think you gotta go it alone. Even when you don’t feel up for it, Karlach will be right there, fighting by your side.

✧

La’zel:

La’zel is not familiar with the idea of depression. Githyanki come from a society where any weakness, physical or mental, is frowned upon. It is considered a personal failure to let yourself fall victim to your emotions. As a result, La’zel is often unaware of how she feels about things.

La’zel may not be the affectionate partner, but she knows enough about herself to understand she likes you and admires you greatly. This makes your illness all the more confusing to her. She doesn’t understand how someone like you, someone she views as strong and capable could be all that sad on the inside. Perhaps you are mistaken? La’zel reminds you of how impressive she finds you, assuming that will be enough to snap you out of it. (It isn’t, of course.)

You’ll have to sit her down and explain what depression is; how it doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with how capable someone is. It’s something that happens when the brain doesn’t work quite right, you can’t get the perspective everyone else has. La’zel asks if this is related to the parasite. In which case, it’s just another reason to defeat the Absolute. Once you make it clear, it has nothing to do with the parasite, she seems to accept the idea with less hostility.

La’zel recognizes this ‘depression’ as an opponent of yours. And of course, as your partner, she insists on working to defeat it with you. She’ll ask you to join her in her workouts, insisting that you spar with her only to secretly go easy on you, and let you win. She wants that boost to your ego to remind you just how proficient you are. To her, a victory is one of the highest compliments, and she wants you to feel complimented.

You are her partner, her zhak vo'n'fynh duj, her source of joy. She thinks the world of you. Even though she is not familiar with your culture or customs, she makes more of an effort to understand them, in hopes they will reveal secret knowledge about this ‘depression’ to her. She wants to know everything there is to know about this enemy. The more knowledge she has, the better she feels equipped to aid you in the fight.

If you’re self-harming, she may not notice right away. However, her suspicions arise when you are ashamed of what she assumed were battle scars. La’zel will not hesitate to pin you down if she catches you hurting yourself and holding you close until the urges have passed. She won’t take away any of your weaponry- she knows how important it is. But she will keep a close watch, and invite you away from your tent and your tools when she senses the urge to self-harm within you is great.

Githyanki do not beg. They are a strong, proud species. So it’s of the utmost shock when La’zel gets on her knees before you, taking one of your hands in between hers. She confesses how much she cares for you. And begs you, to please, please, continue to fight the good fight for her. You are her anchor to this world, to a life beyond orders and discipline, you’ve opened up her world to joy and acceptance. Please don’t leave her alone in it. She may be a proficient fighter, but her heart just couldn’t bear that.

✧

Shadowheart:

Shadowheart may not remember much of her past before Shar, but she does know one thing for certain, and that’s how she feels for you. In the past, she’s found herself overcome by feelings of sadness and anger, so she’s no stranger to having to live with such unpleasant emotions. She’s also no stranger to living with chronic pain, her hand always existing as a constant reminder of what Shar took from her. And despite happy reminders and the sun always shining the next day, Shadowheart knows there is nothing that can change that. Until Shar grows bored, living with pain is something she will be forced to endure.

Having to live with that pain has made Shadowheart incredibly understanding when it comes to the ups and downs of your mood swings caused by depression. She knows the feeling of ‘it's not fair!’ all too well, and will never chastise you or shush you for bringing it up. It isn’t fair how some people go through like okay and other people have suffering planted inside them. It’s life, but it’s not fair, and you don’t have to pretend it is.

Shadowheart will always offer to help you with changing out of your clothes/armor into more suitable night attire. She has a routine every night that helps her decompress, and she’d love to share it with you.

On the days you feel nothing matters, like you can’t even get out of bed, don’t worry, she’ll be right there, outside of your tent, asking if there’s anything she can fetch you if there’s anything you need. And if you have no use for any physical items or healing spells, she’s more than happy to just sit with you, silently reading a book as you lay on your bedroll. It’s comforting, and reassuring, that you don’t have to say or do anything to be able to enjoy each other’s presence. It takes some pressure off of having a relationship.

If she ever finds you’ve been self-harming, Shadowheart will feel angry. Then hurt. Then disappointed. Then hurt again. She wishes you wouldn’t but at the same time, she understands why you would do something like that. A part of her might feel angry that here she is, forced to live with the pain she didn’t ask for, while you go around giving yourself pain necessarily, but given time, she’ll learn to compartmentalize that train of thought. Your self-harming isn’t about her, she knows that.

She will of course, always heal your wounds, unless you persistently ask her not to. In which case, she might relent, but she still insists on checking them to see how they’re healing naturally and at the first sign of infection or spreading, she will use her healing spells as a cleric to deal with them- no ifs ands or butts.

Shadowheart just wants to be able to make up for lost time with you. She wants a life with you beyond the horrors and the trials of the Absolute, beyond the misery of Shar. She wants the two of you happily living in a modest home, maybe somewhere with animals nearby. She wants you and her parents to get along. She wants your friends to visit often. But most of all, she wants you to be at peace, to be content with the life in front of you. It may take some time, but she swears one day, the two of you will get there. You may never be overly happy, but you will have found tenderness in each other.

✧

Halsin:

Halsin is such a sweetheart, but despite his calm demeanor, he has more than his fair share of demons lurking just beneath the surface. Halsin’s lived a long life. He knows what it feels like to get stuck in a rut, and he knows the hopelessness that often comes with fighting an uphill battle. The Shadow Curse was once just a whispered threat before it grew concrete enough to take up much of Halsin’s life. Forced to always take care of others, and forced to put the greater good before himself, Halsin is no stranger to the slow silent depressive undercurrent that often wades into the stream of your life. Unfortunately, as an archdruid and leader of Emerald Grove, Halsin has had to endure such melancholy alone. As such, he wishes you never feel you have to shoulder your burdens alone.

There is a chance, thanks to the degree of his focus and admiration, that you won’t need to tell him of your feelings, that he will sense them before you do. Halsin won’t pry incessantly, but he does make it known that feeling low is nothing to be ashamed of and that he is always willing to lend an ear.

On the days you can not take care of yourself, Halsin won’t complain in the slightest. He’ll simply aid you in doing whatever needs to be done. He’ll carry you to the river to bathe just as he carries you to the table to eat. He’s so gentle with you, his large hands treat you as if you were made of glass as if he’s almost afraid to touch you.

And don’t worry about any emotional outbursts you might have, be it crying or yelling, or a quick succession of both, Halsin does his best not to take it personally. There is very little you could do or say, aside from causing great harm to another living thing, that he would not understand and forgive.

If you self-harm, he doesn’t react with anger. He does his best to look neutral although he is heartbroken on the inside. He sees you as his salvation, and to see his salvation do such a thing pains him so.

If you’re having trouble sleeping, or get frequent aches, he’ll use healing spells or old-fashioned massages to alleviate some of your pain. He’s quite fond of anything that lets him touch you as he cares for you, be it massages, bathing, braiding your hair, or simply holding you close as you sleep atop his broad chest.

If it’s too much, Halsin will understand your desire for space, and grant you it, he won’t force it on you. But for Halsin, that touch is a reminder you’re still here, that he hasn’t lost you yet, just as he has lost everyone he has ever loved previously.

He always encourages you in your self-care, be it eating or sleeping. He will offer gentle reminders throughout the day, and bring you food should he notice you haven't eaten in a while. If he could physically take on your burdens for you, he would. If it meant your happiness, Halsin would gladly suffer.

You showed him what it meant to live again. You rescued him from his depressive enemy- from the loneliness of the Shadow Curse. He sees it as his duty to do all he can to rescue you from yours.

Halsin knows he cannot ‘save you’ from your feelings. But that doesn’t mean he’ll ever stop trying. He cares so deeply for you. Trust that even though his heart may wander, he will always find his way back to you. No one else, not even your depression is enough to keep him away.

✧

Minthara:

Minthara lives in a state of suspended fear, hidden deep down inside. The Underdark is a cutthroat place, full of betrayal and uprising. There is no such thing as ‘love’ or ‘friendship’- only strength and temporary alliances. But then again, that was before she was infected with the parasite, that was before she met you.

Now that’s grown close to you, now that she realizes the strengths of sharing vulnerability with the one you love, she refuses to live without it. You are her first true love. She will not settle for less. And she refuses to go through the rest of her life without you, readily at her side.

She may not be the kindest when it comes to questioning why you haven't been as eager as usual. But once you explain your situation, Minthara comes to regard your condition with respectful contemplation. She tries to put herself in your shoes, so to speak, before making any future remarks. It is not easy for her, but she does her best. You will have to remind her often and explain each symptom of your depression separately.

Minthara discovers through your openness, that she has had such symptoms as well. The only difference between her and you is that she was taught to swallow such feelings, to never let them surface. It makes her all the more tender in the way she interacts with you. And she asks for your continued tenderness in return.

The two of you can express your darkest thoughts, and ruminations much more freely because of that. You know Minthara will not hold those thoughts against you, just as you will not hold hers against her.

If she finds you’ve been self-harming, she asks to watch the next time. It might strike you as an odd request, but it helps twofold: 1) It reminds you you’re not alone at such a time of deep pain, and 2) It makes you feel self-conscious, bringing you out of that self-harm spiral. It’s much harder to keep your blinders on when the person you love most is sitting right next to you. It empowers you to push such urges away, and instead spend time in the presence of the one you love, knowing she doesn’t think any less of you, and that you don’t have to hide any component of your suffering.

Minthara may be cold to others, and she is not one to languish in her depressed feelings, but she will tolerate sitting with you in yours. If having instances of momentary vulnerability will help you heal and make you stronger in the long run, Minthara is more than willing to ride those instances out with you.

✧

Please Like & Reblog if you enjoyed!

#bg3 x reader #baldurs gate imagine #baldurs gate 3 x reader #baldurs gate 3 imagine #baldurs gate x reader #bg3 imagine #bg3 #hc

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sarejima · 5 months

Note

what ships do you like??

Sorry this took so long to answer(and that its so long lol). I started watching SP barely 2 months ago so haven't really had the chance to think about it and draw out some pairings yet; this was really helpful to me too!

Stan: don't particularly ship Stan w anyone except maybe Wendy. I love him but he's a bit too actively self-centered. I kinda compartmentalize ships in my head between aesthetics and vibes, and aesthetics-wise I find both Stan and Craig look good w Kenny.

Bunny: idk I just like it. Both are compassionate and sweet and rlly high energy but have qualities the other lacks and could learn from. Kenny is stubborn and indignant- he knows what he wants and isn't concerned with judgement(while never to the detriment of others)- due to Butters' upbringing he foregoes this entirely, although you can tell he wants to change. With both's selflessness and patience they're more than capable of meeting in the middle. Kenny is also really socially adept- he seamlessly rides the flow of conversations which Butters with his naive openness would let sweep him away. This openness however is Butters' greatest strength; he's principled and prone to forgiveness and seeing the good in people, as well as being surprisingly emotionally mature(he also has a not-so-well-hidden crazy side which im sure Kenny would appreciate)

Kyman: Eric is obsessed with Kyle- its more than obvious- obsessed in ways that would rub off on anyone given the his very nature. This shows itself at times that contrast well with the others' indifference. Their personalities fit almost a bit too well- Cartman the passionate sadistic antagonist and Kyle equally so the imposer of morality. They're both leaders and big personalities in their own right and it's clear that Cartman's strong feelings can go both ways so it may just work out.

Creek: still have 6 seasons to go till I get there but it's easy to see how perfect they are- Craig especially needs someone who relies on him and gives him a sense of purpose and a focus for his attention, spicing up his life and saving him from his own listlessness little by little while expanding his comfort zone

(Actually drew this one before lol. I just thought it fit the description)

Token/Tolkien: I rlly love Token- he's compassionate and patient and willing to indulge others- not for the sake of it tho, as he's very grounded and sensible enough to know more or less what will or won't benefit him. He's also extremely loyal and a team player- qualities which make me kinda ship him with Clyde. I love the idea of him having to compensate for or accomodate for the other's (lack of) proactiveness/outgoingness. Clyde's laziness being an excuse for Token to fuss over him and devote time to helping him academically and in general(this also works with Craig). I also kinda ship him with Bebe for the opposite reason- rhe only reason I prefer Clyde however is Token's sensitivity; it may be quite easy for her to take advantage of his kindness(Actually I prefer him w Wendy much for for this)

Thanks for reading if you got to the end of this lol (о´∀`о)

And sorry there are probably spelling mistakes(and that my handwriting sucks lol)

#sp tolkien #sp clyde #kyman #creek #sp bunny #south park hcs #south park #sp fanart #I had way too much fun with this #I’m tired now tho #sorry for the rant #way too long #oopsie

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soul-has-left-the-chat · 2 months

Text

Sleep Token + Crossfire headcanons

I see everyone making headcanons for the boys, Vesselettes and probably Sleep so I might as well share my own I've been developing for a while including my ST(?) oc <3

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Vessel

Has 6 eyes, the scleras are black

Used to be a solo singer and musician before becoming a vessel of Sleep

Is really good friends with II prior to Sleep Token; they are still besties to this day <3

Treats the minor vessels like children or siblings

Trusts II (or moreso Cross) the most

Pointed ear tips, kinda like an elf

The mask is glued to his face inconsistently so he is unable to take it off whenever he wants; Sleep decides when he can take it off

The upper half of his facial skin is gone as of result, so he lives with a brutal scar from his cheekbones and up due to how often he yearns to tear the mask off

Used to have brown hair, soon dissolved into white due to stress and Sleep's influence

Sleep punishes him in extremely fucked up ways if/when he goes against Her word or doesn't do what She requests

Green eyes w/ slitted pupils

Fangs

Black skin

Gentle and sentimental personality, ranked after Cross in terms of calmness

Youngest

Has a Stockholm Syndrome relationship with Sleep

Second tallest in terms of height

VERY light stubble

Immortal

Has a humiliation kink; submissive little bitch

Former alcoholic

Has black blood instead of red

INFJ-T

6'3

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Has 4 eyes; 2 on the left, 2 on the right; scleras are black

Was invited to become a minor vessel for Sleep by III

II is like a little brother to him; They're besties :3

Used to have brown hair like Vess, turned white; Marie-Antoinette Syndrome

Formerly a guitarist for another metalcore band then a freelance guitarist and harsh vocalist before joining Sleep Token

Has DID

Black skin

Pointed ear tips

Red eyes w/ slitted pupils

Oldest

Ranked third in terms of height (fourth if including Cross)

2nd calmest and chillest in Sleep Token after II

Immortal

Black blood as well

ISTP-A

5'10

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III

Has 3 eyes; an extra eye on his forehead that's often hidden with a beanie or headband or whatever; scleras are black

Best friends with IV

Crush on Vess?? And IV??

Pointed ear tips

Long white hair (now red) that was blond, and before that, brown

Blue eyes w/ Slitted pupils

II is his younger half-brother

Likes drinking; VERY heavy Alcoholic/drinker, also vapes

Used to be a bassist for another deathcore band prior to becoming a bassist for Sleep Token; still is part of that band, occasionally touring and hanging with his homies

2nd oldest

Tallest mf in Sleep Token

The party animal of Sleep Token; chaotic <3

Immortal

Black blood

ESTP-T

6'4.5

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II (no yellow :c)

Half-brothers with III, younger by a few months

Besties with IV

Besties with Vessel

Used to have 3 eyes but lost one due to an accident; the extra crippled one on his forehead is often covered by a hat, headband, beanie, etc like his brother; scleras are black

Yellow/Golden eyes that can change in shade based on his mood

Was the second to assimilate into Sleep's influence just after Vess; III was after, IV was the final to join

Third oldest and shortest

White hair that was brown

Fangs

Slitted pupils like everyone else

Black skin like everyone else

Pointed ear tips like everyone else lol

Anxious to take his mask off

Most mature

Immortal

THE chillest in Sleep Token

Transgender (FTM/Transmale)

Black blood

INTP-A

5'7

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C/Crossfire (OC)

(some of these were already established months/years ago so assume they're not new, also, a lot of these are self-indulgent and from previous, separate lore so apologies in advance :'P)

Fourth oldest

Previously performed with another metalcore band (feel free to guess what it is cause the answer will (not) surprise you) so the fans roughly know him, but they found it a surprise regardless

Sleep LOATHES him, so much so that She refuses to even let him TOUCH Vessel or any of the others

Finds Vess super annoying but is the closest to him

Loves to make fun of II’s height any chance he gets

III and IV helped him acquaint to the bass and guitar again respectively after years of barely playing

Vessel dedicated “Rain" to him, written specifically for their friendship(?)

The Espera are sort of like a mother/younger sisters to him lmao

A very skilled polyglot, can speak practically every language

Can kick ass, most of the time

Trauma bonded w/ Vess lmao

Drop dead gorgeous, super insecure of his looks due to that (he knows he's pretty but he hates it)

I also have a BUNCH more headcanons I came up with for him with my friends but some are kinda sensitive and I can't remember/think of any rn so they'll have to be their own post I'm really sorry >w> (I'll link it when I'm done ^^)

ISTJ-A

6'2

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The Espera/Vesselettes

The other vessels adore them like younger sisters

Has a neutral relationship with Sleep

Consists of: VI (oldest and tallest), VII (middle child), and VIII (youngest and shortest)

They're also sisters and each are exactly a year apart

They're all “blind”; VI uses echolocation, VII uses hearing and scents, and VIII uses eyeballs on her hands to see

Bandages cover their eyes

If those bandages were ever unwrapped… let's just say very bad things would happen

Has mild fishy features cause they're also known as "The Sirens" in the band too

Can breathe underwater, has fins too

Black blood

VI: ENFP-A, VII: ISFP-A, VII: ISFJ-T

VI: 6'1, VII: 5'9, VIII: 5'8

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Sleep Herself (the Bitch™)

Female cause why not

Usually androgynous/Genderfluid but often portrayed as a woman, thus, relies majorly on she/her pronouns due to the usage of the aforesaid pronouns in the lyrics

A bitch

Extremely manipulative

Damn good at taking advantage of people

Has even more vessels than Vess, II, III, and IV but most of them are dead lol

Often portrayed as a gorgeous, modest, worthy Lady in White

Can be portrayed as an octopus just tearing things apart as well

Sadistic

Enjoys punishing Vess and the other vessels in extremely fucked up ways :concern:

The ritual to assimilate into Her is very brutal and can sacrifice your own humanity, as shown in Her vessels

Has an entire cult surrounding Her

Vessel is the first ever to worship Her

Used to be the mistress of Night

Has ichor for blood

Has a separate realm for Herself to visit when talking to Her vessels

Also likes to spite II's height

xNTJ-A

Any height She chooses but usually 5'5

yah, that's all lol

(yes, I have a grudge against Sleep....)

II will always be the smallest <3

#sleep token #sleep token vessel #sleep token ii #sleep token iii #sleep token iv #sleep token headcanons #headcanons #sleep token espera #sleep token vesselettes #sleep token sleep #sleep token oc #soupie woopie writing #oc tag: crossfire/hundred

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bellis-apis · 1 year

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January Book Tracker

This is my first time doing this but new year, new way of keeping track of books! Thanks to @waytooseriousabouteverything for the format that I'm stealing :)

Tress of the Emerald Sea: This was the first one of the Brandon Sanderson Kickstarter books and it was SO GOOD. I read it in 2 sittings on accident because I just couldn't put it down. I love the main character (Glorp but she goes by Tress) and her voice - she didn't think she was a hero but kept doing braver and braver things while insisting she wasn't a hero until the end when she's like WAIT... I AM a hero. It was so good and very trope subversive for fantasy. Speaking of fantasy, the magic system was so cool and interesting!! Definitely my fav book of the month, Brandon Sanderson rarely misses for me. Looking forward to the other 3 coming this year!

The Eye of the World: Okay, I did not finish this book. I was having a hard time getting into it, and I mostly started it because I knew Brandon Sanderson finished the series but then I realized there's like 20 books in this series and I just couldn't do it. They're so long. There's so many. I can't.

This Woven Kingdom: I recognized the author name when I saw this and got excited BUT I was wrong about which author it was, so that was disappointing. The plot was very tired but the setting was interesting (Plot: Djinn and humans live together but the human oppress the Djinn, who are magic BUT magic is illegal OF COURSE. Our heroes are the last Djinn queen - who is working as a servant and is the most magic out of anybody- and the human prince of their super oppressive fascist kingdom who falls in love with her instantly) Another bummer was the way Tehereh Mafi writes is really distracting to me, like WAY too many descriptive words and everyone is so dramatic all the time. Extremely cool cover art tho.

Gods of Jade and Shadow: This one I read on @ariestip's recommendation and it was SO fun! It was historical fiction/fantasy set in Mexico, which was new for me. The plot was also pretty unique a human girl and a god become bound together and have to travel across 1920's Mexico to restore his godhood, but the longer they stay bound, the more human he gets. The ending surprised me and was kinda sad, but I really liked it. Definitely will be looking into other books by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

The Empress of Salt and Fortune: Also from @ariestip's list, this was a short story told as memories being recorded by an archivist. The old woman telling the story recounts her time as the handmaiden and confident of a banished empress. It's set in a fantasy location based on imperial China and it gave so many hints about the larger world, I wanted it to be longer! It was VERY good, and also one of the few books I've read with a character with they/them pronouns which really threw me for a second until I figured out what was happening lol but once I got it I appreciated the representation!

Hunger Pangs (+ Crewel Intentions): I finally checked out @thebibliosphere's book! Of course, I got the flirting with fangs edition with all the steamy scenes :) I really enjoyed this one! It felt like the author had a lot of fun writing it and felt very self-indulgent (in the best way) so I had fun reading it. I loved Vlad and his projects and schemes (very relatable) and that it had a happy ending! It did feel like the stakes never got too high, and the saving the world plot point was wrapped up very quickly, but I didn't really have a problem with that since it was more about the romance. Can't wait for the sequel!

Blade Breaker: I really liked the Red Queen series when I read it a few years ago, so I was excited that Victoria Aveyard had a new series, but I had a hard time finishing the first one and I might not even finish this sequel. I don't even know why, I'm just not really into it!

Wow this got long! January has me at 5 books so far, not counting DNFs, and no rereads (yet). Kind of a slow month, but I've been job hunting all month so

#booktracker #2023 #january

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starlightshore · 2 years

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AWWHH tysm for the compliments <3 really made me smile!! Speaking of your Danny Phantom AU, I have another question about it!: Do Sam and Tucker like. Know that Danny's half-ghost? This question spawns from the little comic you made a few days ago and I noticed that they didn't... seem to know? If they do indeed not know, will they ever find out?- Jevil Anon

ah i see how that'd be confusing! that was a "nobody knows AU" (which was probs easy to miss me saying that with all that text i added to the post).

basically, it's a fandom-known au where, well, as its says on the tin: nobody knows Danny's the phantom. the reason i drew that AU was because I'm doing DannyMay, a phandom event where throughout all of May, we follow a list of themed prompts for the full month.

my AU is more so my "take" on the show's story, blending fanon and canon. aspects of my take have some fanon headcanons (some are my own, but most are common fanon):

(read more cause its long)

Danny kept his freckles growing up

said freckles glow in ghost form (which look like stars! Danny loves astronomy so its a fun character detail)

blue Phantom (to match how Vlad and Dan are blue)

^ mine's reasoning is that Danny's form/powers are based on being photographed by Sam at his time of death

Danny has lichtenberg scars (from being electrocuted)

having electric powers (though mine is actually light based powers that has electricity as an off shoot)

^ powers are more limited in general, just standard ghost abilities and the above

trans and Latino Danny

the full cast is some form of LGBTQA+

Jazz takes after her father, being more bulky. (cause no way both kids would be scrawny!)

tucker is a twitch streamer. his popularity stagnates/shrinks once he becomes busy with ghost hunting

Team Phantom has a TikTok

the portal is sentient, their name is Liminal Gates

the ghost portal was funded by Vlad (who has a different relationship with the Fentons than in canon) and has it hushed up by Nondisclosure Agreements.

Slow burn Vlad is evil reveal

season 3 didn't happen LMAO

Sam uses she/them and Clockwork use they/them

Dani (with an I) is called Ellie (this is for accessibility reasons like screen readers as well for general less confusion)

Ellie is not a clone but rather an alternative timeline Danny with a drastically different life. (because I think cloning is too morally horrific and illogical to write)

Slow burn Villain Ellie Masters (complete with a full story arc)

ghosts aren't aliens but rather traditional ghosts (for the most part, there's exceptions)

after a while, Danny's main objective is helping ghosts cross over to the after life.

ghost zone is a different spacial dimension (with a bunch of pseudo science takes from a high-school understanding of dimensions LOL)

pure ectoplasm is corrosive to flesh

halfas are time paradoxes, they're fusions of multiple timelines merged into one person

Fanon made characters: Wes Weston and his older brother, Kyle Weston. (extremely loosely based on background characters)

I think that's it for now! I'm sure five minutes from now I'll think of something and go "darn it!"

a lot of that is self indulgent or part of my "i'll work on this AU once in a while" attitude over the last few years -w- usually i'll check the DP tag once a month or so, but I'll have times (like rn) where I hyper-fixate on it. DannyMay really being a big reason I'm focusing so hard as well

#personal stuff #sams replies #dp talk

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pandemellia · 1 year

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Ugly Thoughts #2: I'm elated that you feel alone💖

Two weeks ago, my ex made a TikTok video where he was concerned that no one was asking him if he was okay.

And I was thinking like-

PFFFFT HAHAHA!

LOOK AT THIS PATHETIC ASS FUCK OVER HERE!

NOW YA SORRY ASS KNOWS HOW IT FEELS TO BE ALONE!

YOU KNOW? LIKE HOW YOU CHEATED ON ME, THEN LED ME ON AND EMOTIONALLY NEGLECTED ME FOR TWO MONTHS WITH LITTLE TO NO REASSURANCE THAT YOU'D NEVER DO IT AGAIN, AND HARDLY ASKED IF I WAS OKAY?

AND I BEARED IT ALL ANYWAYS BECAUSE I WANTED US TO WORK OUT DESPITE MY MENTAL HEALTH DETERIORATING FOR THE SAKE OF YOURS?!

YET YOU STILL ABANDONED ME FOR SOME DISGUSTING HOE?!

I'M HAPPY AS FUCK THAT NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOU!

HOW ABOUT YOU ASK THE LOWLIFE FUCKS THAT DO FURRY SEXUAL ROLE PLAY WITH YOU?! YOU KNOW, THE SAME ONES YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH AND YOU'RE CHEATING ON YOUR PARTNER WITH NOW?!

WHERE ARE THEY NOW, HUH?! THEY'RE YOUR "FRIENDS" AREN'T THEY?! THAT'S THE EXCUSE YOU USED WHEN I ASKED YOU TO BLOCK THEM SO THEY MUST BE ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU, RIGHT?!

I'M PRETTY SURE THROWING AWAY 4 YEARS BECAUSE YOUR DEGENERATE ASS WANTED TO INDULGE IN YOUR STEP BRO-SIS FURRY FANTASIES WASN'T WORTH IT NOW, WAS IT?!

LET'S.FUCKING.GOOO-

So anyways; I may feel lonely now, BUT I'VE NEVER FELT as lonely as I did when he ignored me when I needed his reassurance after he cheated on me. It was extremely emotionally painful, at least for me.

Instead, he decided to ignore the problem, and hoped it magically fixed itself by insisting on a "break".

I don't care how immature this makes me, but I DESPISE relationship "breaks". I may have said this before, and I'll keep repeating it again: when anyone suggests to take a "break", it's either because they wanna have an affair with someone else, or they're thinking of breaking up with you and running away from the problem.

This has been proven time and time again on Reddit where people ask for advice about these topics.

Also, I have trust and abandonment issues, so it's pretty self explanatory on why this wouldn't work out for me.

My point is; a relationship is teamwork, and I believe you shouldn't emotionally check in and out of a relationship at your convenience, at the expense of your partner's mental health.

If a relationship needs time to cool down from an issue, then take a few days apart. But a break will never ever be a solution for me.

Nevertheless, he always insisted on breaks (the one that led to the break up was the longest, these breaks usually lasted 2 weeks or more) before this whenever we had problems in our relationship, and I always reluctantly complied despite him knowing why I hated breaks. He has depression, so I always wanted to accommodate his mental health.

Guys.

I don't remember if I mentioned this to him, but I literally would Google symptoms of depression to try to understand why was he always acting this way. That's how much I cared about him. I learned that people with depression often have depressive episodes where they shut everyone out because they feel like a burden on them.

So I suffered in silence and tried to my best to suppress my resentment every time he'd ignore me.

But as it turns out, he never had "depressive episodes". He just used those breaks as more time to exchange nudes with other people and do sexual online roleplay with others while I was alone, riddled with anxiety and paranoia that he was cheating on me.

Back to the last break that led to the break up; every single day, for two months during our "break", I was in constant fear that he'd cheat on me again, abandon me, or leave me for someone else. That was absolute mental torture. I cried everyday, was on edge all of the time on not knowing where we stood; and worst of all, I was made to feel like a burden for feeling anger and sadness from being cheated on. It's the reason why I don't go to the few friends I have on my main social media for the heartbreak I'm dealing with now. I felt (and sometimes still do) like this worthless thing that didn't deserve to have their feelings acknowledged.

And he managed to end up doing all three. Yes, leaving your current partner for someone else is emotionally cheating. You're falling in love with someone else while you're taken; and instead of working to get rid of those feelings by cutting off contact, you fuel them more by starting an emotional affair with the other person. And if you have it in you to objectify your soon to be ex partner by replacing them with someone else, then it's clear you never loved them in the first place. I swear, the only people who'd deny that this shit is cheating are the fuckers that are guilty of this lol. It's not just as simple as, "aS sOoN aS yOu'Re sInGlE, yOu gEt tO fUcK wHoEvEr yOu wAnT". No, people who do this start off their new "relationship" with deceit and manipulation, fuck off.

Writing this also made me realize that on the night he broke up with me, he had the goddamn audacity to BLAME ME FOR THE PROBLEM HE SINGLE-HANDEDLY CAUSED BY SAYING, "I cAn'T hAnDlE yOuR rEsEnTmEnT"

THIS BITCH REALLY TRIED TO MAKE ME FEEL GUILTY FOR FEELING ANGRY AT HIM FOR CHEATING ON ME! AFTER I TRIED TO SUPRESS MY FEELINGS OF RESENTMENT TO GET PAST THIS ISSUE SO OUR RELATIONSHIP COULD WORK!

HE BASCIALLY EXPECTED ME TO FIX ALL OF HIS CHEATING ISSUES BY MYSELF BY JUST SMILING AND PRETENDING LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED.

HE ALSO SAID DURING THAT PHONE CALL, "Did you ever ask me if I was okay?" WHEN I BROUGHT UP HIM IGNORING ME ALL OF THE TIME.

BRUH YOU FUCKING CHEATED ON ME! MY PATIENCE DOES HAVE A LIMIT YOU KNOW!

ALSO ALSO, YOU IGNORED ME BECAUSE YOU INSISTED ON A BREAK! WHAT ELSE DID YOU WANT ME TO DO? KEEP SPAMMING YOU WITH TEXT MESSAGES?! YOU WOULD'VE GIVEN ME HEAT FOR THAT TOO AND SAY THAT I WAS SUFFOCATING YOU!

I do have to add that he did ask if I was okay only once during the break...buuut then he kept ignoring me, never reassured me that he wasn't cheating, never blocked his sexual roleplay partners, never overall showed me he was willing to change his toxic behavior, etc. He never took my feelings seriously even though it was very clear that I wasn't okay with him ignoring me. So I think that question was just a way to relieve his guilt about his emotional affair with his current partner rather than actually showing genuine concern about me.

I actually wanna go back to our Instagram chat and see exactly how that particular conversation went, but I don't wanna trigger myself more. I'm honestly already crying writing about how I felt during the break.

Going back to the depressive episodes thing, I think its ironic because now I've been currently struggling with a depressive episode where I've temporarily deactivated my main social media so no one can contact me. Because I feel like a burden to my friends.

Because of him.

So I totally understand why someone with depression would isolate themselves, but I'd never ignore my partner like that. I felt like he just did that to ignore any accountability for his actions (and to cheat) until I was so starved for affection, that I'd just give him a pass for whatever caused an issue in our relationship in the first place. And I fell for it.

Every time.

He even said shit like "wElL i wAs tAuGhT tO jUsT mOvE oN" as a way to sweep issues under the rug, so there's that.

The most frustrating part about this is; even if he gets these moments where he feels alone like in that TikTok video, he will never feel it in the same devastating way I perceive loneliness, if that makes sense.

#vent #personal vent #vent blog #obsessive vent #i'm so fucking angry #annoyed #mentally fucked #mental breakdown #mental instability #mentally ill #heartbroken #heartbreak

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astridthevalkyrie · 3 years

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A Scene Popped Into My Head But Instead Of Writing A Whole AU I’m Just Going To Write That One Scene <3

---> Scene Capture Fics Masterlist

---> Today’s Feature: Arranged Marriage AU Levi!

---> Part 2

---> a/n: this one is self indulgent to a fault. like, self indulgent to the point where i was just frustrated all day (all week, really) with my family and so i whipped this out. stayed up till 1:30 am writing it. i wouldn't say it's a full fic, which is why i'm still posting it as a scene capture fic, but i may post it to ao3 too. let me know what you think!

In your anger, you nearly rip your earrings off, throwing them onto the vanity. The jewelry clinks on the table, followed shortly by your necklace and bracelets. The door closes gently a few seconds after you storm in, and you hear your husband rummaging around in his messenger bag for his glasses.

You hate this. Hate this room, hate those earrings, hate this house. It's not even yours, it's your uncle's. He's generously offered to host the entire family over for his daughter's birthday party, and now that you're married, you get your own room instead of rooming with the kids. Whoop de doo.

Truthfully, you'd prefer sleeping in the same room as a bunch of loudmouths instead of with Levi Ackerman. But as Mrs. Ackerman, it'd be extremely strange for you to sleep anywhere else but in the same bed as him.

"What's wrong," Levi murmurs in that grating voice of his. In another life, you might have found it attractive. Oh, who are you kidding, you have found it attractive, but not when he pulled the stunt that he just did,

"Nothing," you mutter shortly, unbuttoning the buttons on your top.

He sighs. It only makes your blood boil more.

"If you're not going to tell me, stop sulking."

"I'm not sulking," you spit out, taking out your pajamas. How dare he?

"You are," he retorts easily, "you didn't have fun playing minigolf?"

Sure, you had fun. You had fun when you had to hit the golf ball at least six times on each track because of how terrible you were. You had fun when your cousin clapped for Levi every time he got a dumb hole in one and then giggled when he thanked her dryly. And you definitely had fun when you and your sister got into an argument that she booked tickets to the local amusement park without you even though you were the one who brought up the idea a couple weeks ago and now she was going with some of the other family members.

What wasn't there to be overjoyed about?

"Are you still upset about that ridiculous argument?"

That ridiculous argument—those words hurt the most because they're true, the fight with your sister was ridiculous. It's certainly not something you want to waste your energy on. She's her own person, and she can go wherever she pleases with whoever she wants to go with. But it's not the fight that has you so heated.

It's the fact that during it, your sister had turned to Levi and said, word for word, "Come on, Levi, tell her she's being stupid!"

And Levi had, without hesitation, turned to you and told you that you were indeed being stupid.

That, in front of your entire family, had felt like a hard slap to the face.

You'd been able to kid yourself for a few months now. That even if you and Levi didn't love each other, at least you were becoming friends, at least he might sort of like you as a person. That you could have a husband who'd stick by you. That, for once in your life, someone would prioritize you.

But that was just a far-fetched fantasy, a dream for stupid girls who were kidding themselves. Girls like you.

"I'm not upset. We should go downstairs, pizza will be here soon."

"No," Levi refuses easily, grabbing your wrist before you can reach the door. "Go apologize to your sister first."

That, finally, makes you snap.

"I should go apologize? The least she could have done was not tell me she was going with other people and throwing away our yearly tradition!" You snatch your wrist away from him, glaring daggers. Who the hell does he think he is? "And just for your information, the two of us have never been in a fight for longer than a day. Tomorrow morning she'll see a video that's so funny she just has to share it, and I'll find it so fucking hilarious that I'll go up to her and ask her if she's seen some other video it reminded me of."

Levi frowns. "Then what the hell are you so upset about?"

"None of your goddamn concern."

"Yes it is. Tell me. Is it me?"

For someone who's so perceptive, he's also incredibly stupid. "Levi. I'm not a child. Why don't you go flirt with my cousin or something, because I can deal with my emotions just fine, like any other fucking adult, and I don't need your coddling."

Perceptive indeed. "So it is me," he concludes, "for your information, I've never once flirted with her, I try to avoid her when I can—"

"Oh my fucking God, do you think I care? Do you think I give a single goddamn shit if you flirt with her or anyone else? I'm not a jealous crybaby. Go sleep with someone else and see if I even lift a finger to stop you."

A pregnant pause fills the air for a couple seconds, and then he says, "Yeah. I do think you care."

You scoff. "Then you're full of yourself, because I don't."

With that, you whirl around, determined to leave this terrible room with its disgusting yellow color, but as soon as you inch open the door, it slams shut again, and Levi whirls you around, boxing you in against it. With one hand, he locks it, and your fingers tremble in rage.

This is too far.

"Move."

"No."

"Move, or I'll scream."

"Scream all you'd like. I'm not opening the door until you tell me."

From the hard gaze in his eyes, you know he's not bluffing. His arms are on either side of you and he’s so close that any other time you might have been embarrassed. From this point of view, you can appreciate how very pretty your husband truly is.

You have no choice.

"When we were fighting," you begin, giving him your deepest scowl, trying to cloak how vulnerable you feel as he forces you to expose your own insecurities, "you took her side."

"You were being ridiculous." Levi frowns, as though he can't fathom why you'd be upset about such a thing.

"I was." Your agreement comes naturally, but it causes a lump in your throat. Ridiculous, childish, emotional, those were traits that you were supposed to hide from everyone, because everyone had drilled it inside you that these were bad things, that you had to act mature or else face the consequences of being ridiculed. "But what would have been the worst thing that happened if you took my side? Or even if you stayed out of it? If you just..." Against your deepest wishes, your lower lip trembles. "If you just didn't call me stupid for having emotions?"

Something shifts in Levi's expression, something that you've never seen in these past few months. Something akin to softness covers his features, a stark contrast to the emotionless robot you married. His thumb comes up to brush a single tear that drips down your cheek. "You wanted me to stick by you," he claims softly, trying to understand.

Wetness coats your lashes. "I wanted you to choose me. I wanted someone to choose me. No one ever chooses me, and I wanted you to. And that's idiotic, I know, to expect the one person I was forced upon to actually want me. So just—just forget about it, Levi, I mean it." You're pleading now, anger having made way for ugly jealousy and insecurity and self hate. "Go have fun, and—"

"I'm sorry," he breathes in one quick admission.

An apology is the last thing you expected to hear. By this point, you didn't even think the situation warranted one. But Levi goes on.

"You're right. If it was that stupid, and it wasn't, then I could have taken your side. I...I'm not good with this stuff, but if you want me to support you, then I can. I will. I'll do better next time. Okay?"

Levi is so blunt that it makes your heart clench. Avoiding the problem altogether or just brushing past it would be easier for you to deal with, but this, an apology and a promise to improve, makes the tears filling your eyes to fall.

"Okay?" he repeats, quieter this time. You nod, not trusting yourself to form any words. "Okay." And then he presses a soft kiss to your forehead, one that spreads warmth across your face down to your fingertips.

The moment ends as soon as he steps back, as you awkwardly and hurriedly wipe your cheeks, while Levi adjusts his glasses and pulls out his phone, coughing into his fist. Couples who didn't have a choice in the matter aren't supposed to have moments. And yet, he's left you flabbergasted at how compassionate he really can be, and for the first time, you consider that being Mrs. Ackerman may not be the worst thing in the world.

"There's not that much traffic right now," he mumbles, eyes locked on his phone as you make yourself presentable.

"Right. And?" Taking a tissue, you silently wipe away the mascara that's staining your skin.

"If we pack quickly, we could probably make it home by 11."

Your heart leaps in joy at this prospect. "But...but we're supposed to be here for another two days."

"Do you want to stay?" Levi questions, looking at you in the mirror. Your answer should be yes, this is your family.

"No. I really don't."

"Alright," Levi decides, nodding to himself, "then if you want to, we can leave." He looks at you expectantly, seeking your answer.

Back home, you have more awkward silence and forced pleasantries to endure, along with possible disagreements and compromises that leave neither of you happy. A return to a not-so glamorous life of a couple that was pushed together not by fate, or destiny, or love, just other people.

And despite all that, you suck in a deep breath, wipe the last of your tears away, and say, "Let's go."

#aot #aot x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #arranged marriage au levi #scene capture fics #valkyrie stories

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hayleysstark · 5 years

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Title: Better You than Me Words: 1462 Warnings: Mild swearing Summary: "Oh, my god. Branch, my parents are parenting YOU." / Or the one where Cloud Guy calls Branch out, and Branch has a few dozen revelations. All extremely uncomfortable. Tag to 5x02. Slightly AU. Very silly, zero substance. Notes: ~ slightly AU, Cloud Guy's parents don't actually move in, just drop by a lot ~ y'all should know this bitch had the working title "shameless self-indulgent garbage" b/c there is literally no point to this except Cloud Guy's mom just,,,,,,, quietly adopted Branch in S5 and that is,,,,,,,,,,, Objectively Beautiful. tbh.

Read on Fanfiction or AO3

"You," Cloud Guy says, proudly, like a little kid who's finally figured out how one plus one equals two, and wants to share it with everyone in the vicinity, "you like this. Don't you?"

"Um." Branch is not, exactly, one-hundred-percent sure what's going on right now, or even how he wound up here in the first place, but objectively speaking, he's pretty positive that is not something he wants Cloud Guy to say to him, ever, especially when the stupid goofball has got him pinned to the bed. He shifts slightly, and the springs creak loudly beneath his back. "What?"

"You like them." And maybe Cloud Guy realizes the uncomfortable position he's put Branch in, because he leans back a little. "My parents."

"Oh." Okay, there it is—it's still not clear why the guy felt he couldn't say this until he dragged Branch into the bedroom and bolted the door behind them, but at least he's gotten to the point. Small miracles, and all of that. "Well." Branch has to think about it for a minute. A few months ago, he probably would have denied it to his dying breath because he had a reputation back then to keep up with, and that reputation had not included liking much of anyone, especially not two cheery little clouds who'd quite literally taken his bunker and his entire life by storm. But. Well. Things are different now. He can say it. If he wants to. "They—they mean well," he says, and leaves it at that.

Cloud Guy snorts. He rolls sideways off Branch, and down onto the mattress, his puffy, feather-light body barely making a dent in the soft covers. "You like them," he says, for what's got to be the millionth time since he hauled Branch in here.

Branch flicks his eyes heavenward. Okay, we're done with this. "Yes, thank you, we've established that, now can you—?"

"You like them," Cloud Guy spirals over onto his stomach to look at Branch in a strange and searching kind of way, like he's seeing absolutely everything, "parenting you."

"I—" he doesn't remember, he doesn't know anymore what he was about to say, but it kind of doesn't even matter because the inside of his mouth has gone suddenly bone-dry and he can't seem to swallow and his tongue feels heavy and awkward and clumsy and he's about ninety-percent sure his face is about to catch fire, which is really stupid and makes no sense because this is—this is just—that is not—

"I don't—" he falters, noticeably, and Cloud Guy's mouth quirks up in one of his stupid, triumphant little smirks, and oh, God, everything is awful and he just wants to die. "—I d-don't—" he tries, again, and flounders just as spectacularly the second time. "I-I don't know," he manages, finally, and sits up on the bed, and puts on his best don't-mess-with-me glare, even though it's never, ever worked on Cloud Guy, ever, and it's also rapidly losing its effect on Poppy, too, which is unfortunate, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Cloud Guy raises his eyebrows, the picture of politely bewildered incredulity. "Your face says otherwise."

Branch tries to scoff—he really, really tries, but the furious blush has gone all the way to the tips of his ears at this point, and he knows the stupid sapphire flush is probably a damned beacon right now, even in the low light of the bunker, and all he can really manage is a small, shaky breath. It's about the farthest thing from a scoff. Ever. And he hates it. "Don't be ridiculous. They aren't—they aren't p-parenting me, or whatever," no, he does not stutter, he does not trip over the word, and that is just the beginning and the end of it, "they're—they're—"

But.

See.

Here's the thing.

They kind of are.

And there is no getting it past Cloud Guy. "Branch," he doesn't even bother with one of his annoying-but-admittedly-creative nicknames, "yesterday, Mom pulled me aside, and begged me to make sure you had a second helping of that casserole she brought over for dinner last night because she says you're too thin and she's worried you're not taking care of yourself."

And damn it all to hell, but the first thing Branch feels is not absolute and unremitting indignation at the thought that he, utterly independent for a good ten years or so at this point, is somehow incapable of looking after himself, no, it's not that at all, it's—

Well.

It's.

It's kind of the complete and total opposite, because there's something suddenly warm and bright growing up inside his chest, this golden little glow, like the miniature flame on the end of a lit match, but the heat of it goes all the way through him, and that's. Okay. That's not good. That is—that is not good, because he is not supposed to feel good about this, at all, ever, he's just—he's just not, because it's ridiculous, it's unbelievable, it's infuriating, for God's sake, he can mind his own damn self and he doesn't need anyone else and that's who he is, isn't it, someone who is alone, someone who wants to be alone, someone who doesn't know how to be anything but alone, and it's not right and it's not fair for Cloud Guy's parents, of all people, to just come crashing into his life and make him think any different.

"And!" Cloud Guy sits up, too, and jabs a finger, hard, into Branch's chest. "You. Like. It."

At least he expects the accusation this time—without the sting of shock and humiliation it initially carried, he's able to put up a half-decent defense. He even manages a proper scoff now, and he smacks Cloud Guy's hand away. "No. I don't."

Cloud Guy has the nerve to laugh. "Pretty nice fib, puffalo rib, but you can't hide nothin' from me. Just do yourself a favor, and don't ever, ever let Mom in on it. She already thinks you're lonely, has a good cry 'bout you every time she comes over."

Branch stops dead. "What?"

"Uh-huh. Yeah." Cloud Guy flops back on the bed again, arms clasped comfortably behind his head. "Practically had kittens about you when I told her you've been down here since you were twelve. Thought it was best not to mention the whys and hows after that."

"I—" Branch can't even speak for the sheer mortification of this moment, his mouth working furiously as he struggles to find the words. Oh, God, Cloud Guy's mother feels bad for him. He literally cannot think of anything worse. Death would honestly be kinder.

"She'd—" Cloud Guy breaks off to let out a low chuckle. "She'd probably adopt you if I did."

Yeah. Okay. No. Branch shuts his mouth. There really is absolutely nothing to say to that.

"Anywhoozle," Cloud Guy pushes himself back up, and rolls right off the side of the bed—Branch waits for the telltale thump of his body hitting the floor, and hopes it really, really hurts, but it never comes—he tucks up his legs and catches himself an inch from the ground, floating up to the ceiling. "You want my advice?"

"Uh—" Branch's brain finally decides to work again, grinding back into gear. "No. Not in the slightest."

Cloud Guy laughs again. "There's the sauce I've been missing. As I was sayin', just try to look a little less lost-boy 'round Mom, 'kay? She'll lay off eventually. Although," he pauses, like he's just singlehandedly had the world's greatest idea, "now that I think of it, well," he shrugs, and floats toward the door, extending an arm to slide the heavy metal bolt back. He flicks the door open, and tosses one last glance at Branch over his shoulder, "better you than me."

#trolls #dreamworks trolls #emrys' spellbook

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