#they also have some other goals listed that i rly support
Text
ok my lil nightmare headcanons for the guys that i like. six is the most fleshed out and runaway kid is here because i have little aus in my head and i think about all of them . just not as much as i think about six
the most widely applied hc for all of them: the all of them have ptsd but most of the symptoms one might expect for ptsd dont rly express themselves because theyre all basically in survival mode Always, and for symptoms of ptsd to properly express the brain has to be like "oh, right, i'm safe. time to explode" (this is very simplified and im aware theres way more complexity and nuance. just assume literally every hc i present abt anything is more nuanced than this list offers)
six
autism
adhd also
she's (mostly, circumstantially) selectively mute and/or minimally verbal, and my supporting evidence is i want her to be. my second supporting evidence is that she doesn't talk in any of the comics and she doesn't even have a whispered voiceline like "hey!" like mono does. my third supporting evidence is that that i want her to be. in more depth, she CAN be verbal, but it is (as mentioned) circumstantial and related to who she's with and how safe she feels. ie: the door raft is safe enough that she manages to tell mono her name, and in a few situations following she manages to communicate verbally, it's just not something she can do easily in… well, most cases. she's otherwise strongly communicative when she needs to be, and good at getting her point across when necessary
always whispers when she does speak
this is less a hc and more something actively supported by canon, but she WILL help people if it doesn't put her in immediate danger (and even if it does, in some cases) (supporting evidence is ln2 and vln lmao)
gets anxious when people behave vulnerable around her/quick to emotionally shut down/retreat. low empathy, high compassion. (if u think negatively abt this bite me forever and ever and ever cuz ur wrong. this is a completely neutral trait)
even after the tower, she obviously finds comfort and joy in music boxes and music in general (also mostly supported by canon content, i think)
likes to hum when she's alone
struggles with skin-picking
the noisiest she gets is when she's dreaming
physical contact is weird for her, aka it's fine if she expects it and painful/awful if she doesn't (weird exceptions apply to some degree, ie hands are ok/mono taking her hand is almost always fine)
she only hates veggies because no one's ever cooked 'em good for her. girl needs some stir fry
gets cold way easily
mono
autism 2 electric boogaloo
it's just different from six's autism, man, idk
he scripts a lot. on the spot, he has a hard time putting sentences together, but give him a little bit/be patient and he'll manage fine. he's definitely not nonverbal (six is of the opinion that he doesn't know how to shut up, which is a bit of an exaggeration but one that mono doesn't mind), it's just that autism and trauma makes words Hard
so like not nonverbal and not fully speaking but a secret third thing
survivor's guilt in, like, every situation ever
very good at taking the lead when he has a goal and has a hard time stopping to listen to others
but he DOES make a concerted effort to listen to others because he's at least peripherally aware of this fault of his
world's softest speaking voice. it's about as soft as how he whisper-talks the word "hey", pretty much
extremely detail-oriented, which helps a lot when solving puzzle-y situations
yellow is his favorite color
runaway kid:
also autism
i don't have much for them uhhh
they/them-er. they're not picky tho
goes by runa or una. "una" was a joke at first, but it sounds a bit like "uno" and the number theme with the other two just really is too hard for me to resist
will instigate contact but dislikes reciprocation
probably the loudest speaking voice of the three, but that's not really saying much. reflex is to speak lowly or whisper
ok with words. doesn't need to script
probably struggles a lot with touch-focused sensory stuff
#little nightmares#little nightmares 2#runaway kid#ln six#ln mono#robin rambles#theyre my guys theyre my guys grabs u theyre my guys forever and ever
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
AUGH, DAMMIT
financial vent
I went -$88, even after adjusting my budget and a friend’s support. i feel so shitty. scared my account is finally going to be shut down after so many negatives this year (thanks predatory capitalism and banking systems)
i went over what i spent. I caught up on gas, electric, paypal credit, spent some to pablo, helped a friend out, and donated to extra life stuff
but the day i did my grocery/costco run is where i went over. and i shouldn’t had treated myself with genshin impact gems ($20ish?) and new disposable vape (also $20ish)
part of me is like…god i’m so embarrassed. but i screwed up so others should see this and be disappointed /:
but. idk you grew up so poor and get sick of being paycheck to paycheck and not allowing yourself any fun or enjoyment, and it’s so hard to grasp when depressed
and there’s so much im behind on, even a few hundred dollars and i’m still catching up. i still need to pay my psychiatrist bill, hopefully before it goes into collections. my apple card is months behind and i’m working out a payment plan. i really need to pay off paypal credit and be done with that (and i’m not even thinking of the $12,000 medical bill that’s been outstanding for years)
also the lowkey oof that i avoid the questioning from ppl here about traveling to TN during the holidays, and then that reminds me I’m wanting to get xmas gifts in order soon
fdhgssghkgfdhhfsg
anyway im… feeling pretty rough ngl. i had a burst of energy this saturday and likely overdid it trying to get as much as i could done (exercise hardcore making trip back and forth from car after the costco run ow). sunday i overslept (no win tbh, body desperate to sleep but then also can’t) and also spent a couple hours cleaning and organizing before bed last night. now, i’m pretty achey, bad headache, stiff, been bloated/IBS, dizzy (kinda flu like sensations, but fibromyalgia)
i have some goals, things to do this week, projects to catch up on, want to do NaNo, cleaning apartment properly, contact doctors/set up appointments, have a lot to cook/prep so healthy food i bought doesn’t go bad, wanted to help Pablo on some things, been really bad socializing and hanging with friends, and the list keeps going. i know i should be rly thankful that i don’t have to currently be working in retail again, among other blessings that allow me space to rest and heal. so it could be a lot worse
still, wish i could function better. and not to blame it all on chronic illnesses/I should be accountable—more and more i’m realizing how limited i am when sick
hhhhhhhhh i’m tired. i’m really sorry
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
[repost from fairytaile bc its long]
i dont nearly talk abt tbbf enough which is like. completely unfair to it. considering it lives rent free in my head, like how liu-laoshi lives rent free in chi xiaochi's head
its one of those rando wn i came across w the normal pleasant review of "it's soo good, pls read it". n its like. sure. not like i have anything better to do, the art looks good, summary looks fun enough. never touched a danmei QT before but that's alright, i'm a garbage can that eats anything (well mostly anything). but! but there is one problem! and that it's unfinished! so i sadly put it at the back of my read list, and went on to browse other wn that have complete translations.
(also the author wrote as part of the summary: "Sue-ish, fluffy, no logic, not the same as those reforming villain stories, be warned" so i was like... is this rly good... but in hindsight its like, well, it's some kind of author awareness to say things like this, right? n it's like... author, if u say things like this, what of the truly trashy wn out there? author? author...?)
n then i was like... on the support authors discord, randomly browsing the discussion thread, when i saw tbbf recced again. just briefly, nothing big, nothing too deep. n idk what possessed me to just be like. u knw what, i knw full well this wn is not fully tl-ed but let's read it anyway.
initially it seemed like ur run of the mill face-slapping op protag wn which is... fine, those r a dime a dozen but they're not bad. it's wn anw, as long as it doesn't get to the cringe levels of stop bothering me, emperor it's whatever.
but then? cxc is actually a nice guy? he's a QT host, but he rly cares for the ppl whose bodies he's inhabiting. he's cold, calculative, ruthless towards his enemies, but he also really really cares abt the victims of these scum gongs, n i was like, wow, what a guy. have u ever wondered what happens to the original soul when the transmigrator transmigrates into them? chi xiaochi does. if there's even the slightest chance that the original soul is still there... he'd bet on that chance, and strive to make them live better lives. he'll act like them, treat their bodies with dignity and respect, and that's just rly cool of him to do that. in all transmigration stories i've read, no one's ever cared abt the original soul /sad
but like, this is a danmei, n why would i read if not for the romance? the romance doesn't have to be dazzling, but it needs to be convincing, y'kno. and boy does it convince. cxc drops hints here and there, of this person in his world, for whom he has to return no matter what. but here's the catch---he's dead, and cxc has to return because he believes that he needs to keep living on for him, to keep remembering him and sweep his grave when no one else would.
i think this was the scene that rly sold me:
···
"i won't go to a world without him" just kill me dead why don't u?
anw later on i spoiled myself that 061 is lou ying which is... well... expected, and i was like, kinda regretting spoiling myself and tried to self-convince that well the journey is what counts, not the destination, but anw in the long run this spoiler doesn't even rly matter bc the Whole Point is the fkin bittersweet flashbacks to their childhood and How It Parallels Current Events and also the sheer もどかしさ of Knowing that 061 is cxc's lou-ge, but cxc Can't Be Sure About That and 061 is Unable To Tell Him Because Plot. they're like parallel lines that are so close to each other but still unable to touch n their relationship makes me have so many feelings, fuck
in a subset of fiction rife with cold, calculating mcs and devoted mls who seem to love the mc more than the mc loves the ml, it's actually such a breath of fresh air to have an mc who's just wholeheartedly devoted to his (dead) beloved. so many danmei have death-chasing shou mcs who have never known love before, whose behaviors scream "it doesn't rly matter what happens to me as long as i achieve my goals" which is like... i'm not saying don't have goals, but lowkey i feel bad for the mls sometimes (lmao). but cxc's goal is his lou-ge, which is... pretty new for me, or mb i haven't read enough danmei lmao. cxc is someone who's fallen in love before he even knew what love was. he's someone who realized that it was love too little too late, and by the time he's even aware, the only way he could express his love is to keep living so that there will be at least someone who remembers his beloved in this world. he climbs out of poverty, he behaves with a devil may care attitude, he's attained what regular people would call "success" at such a young age, but he can't even have one simple, mundane wish granted. and he's so devoted to ly too---to him, there is only one of his lou-ge, and that's the lou ying in his original world. even if he were to come across a different lou ying in a different world, that person isn't his lou ying. he would only want to catch a glimpse of him and see that he's doing well, and he'd move on so that he can go back to his world, the world where his lou-ge once lived in. chi xiaochi won't stay for any other lou ying from any other world. he would go back to his world and continue to live his life the way he's always done, even if it means he'll be alone.
(and like, we all know 061 is ly, and then one can't help but wonder, man, cxc is so smart, surely he's seen the similarities? and like, he has, he has, but 1. he can't bear harboring even the smallest fragment of hope that his lou-ge is still out there, because what if he isn't? after all, hope could be the cruelest thing of all... cxc doesn't dare believe, in the chance that it turns out he's wrong. the only way for him to believe is for 061 to tell him that he's cxc's lou-ge. and then 2. cxc thinks so lowly of himself. he doesn't like the person he thinks he's become. he thinks he's done all the bad things like "smoking, drinking, acting like a rogue, behaving shamelessly", so far from lou ying's chi xiaochi from back then, and he doesn't want his lou-ge to see what kind of person he's become. but then there are the few moments in which he lowers his guard and just indulges, lets himself dream a little that his lou-ge is with him, and it's just! so bittersweet! that feeling of "i can't bear to hope that he's lou-ge" but also "let me pretend, just for a bit, that lou-ge is still here"! pls!!! and anw 061 loves him the way he is!!!! even before he remembers his identity, 061 was alrd like unknowingly sipping vinegar...)
and 061!!! truly a gem among mls!!!!! gentle, sweet, protective but not overbearing, and just all-around a decent person. just how many ml have thoughts of "if only i could keep my beloved from facing danger" without even thinking of what their beloved wants? 061 doesn't do that. ly trusts! believes fully! in cxc! even when he doesn't know that cxc is the person he's working so hard for, he still trusts in his plans and just does the best he can to make cxc's journey smoother! and after he does find out, he still doesn't do any of that "i'll protect you so you won't be hurt" bullshit, more like he...enables cxc's bullshit. on a tangent, imagine if in mdzs, lwj is as confident in wwx as much as ly in cxc. wwx prob wouldn't have to die like that. 061 works so hard behind the scenes, and cxc doesn't even know. 061 thinks cxc doesn't have to know, so he doesn't have to worry, so he can focus on his own tasks. 061 won't hold cxc back for whatever reason---he believes fully in cxc, and that's why he just makes his own decisions and tries his best to help cxc in his own way.
speaking of working hard, this dude is like, slaving away to come back to the person who's waiting for him, even after he got memory loss and can't remember anything else but the vague silhouette of someone in the deep recesses of his lost memories. like, they just rly love each other, even though one of them doesn't know, and the other one can't say anything. god even the reason why 061 lost his memories is cxc. that point in the story when cxc mentioned that someone claiming himself to be ly promised to meet with him but never showed up and it totally broke him, and how after ly remembers his identity, he vows to never break his promise a third time... sigh. wow. why do i have so many feelings for tbbf lmao
another point i rly like abt ly is how he doesn't even have the ml role in the worlds. in the first and second, they're not quite close enough for ly to rly dip his fingers in. in the third, he's an uncle. in the fourth, he's a fukin mecha. in the fifth, he's... a pair of siblings, and anw the "mc" alrd has a love line. in the sixth, he's a "big cat". in the seventh, he's... the shizun, and also another cat, and anw the "mc" alrd has a love line. like, it's just nice, y'know? that ly doesn't have to be the "romantic interest" to show his bond w cxc in each of the worlds. he knows to separate his personal and professional lives lmao. he's just... there for cxc, no matter what, and i think that's the most romantic thing abt them. the trust and devotion, the synchronicity they have, the 一途な想い. and the pining! and how affectionately exasperated ly is!! rly truly "knightly loyal gong" and "satisfied after being mischievous for a moment shou".
anw tbbf also comes with two memorable quotes, the first of which is chi xiaochi's: "To me, only the Lou-ge from the world I came from is real. I won’t go to a world without him." which is also reflected by the author's self-proclaimed one-line summary of tbbf: "I’ll never go to any world where he doesn’t exist". which is like. well. in essence. that's how it is, isn't it? it's totally not a coincidence that it's also one of the quotes that caught me by the heart and wouldn't let go. the author intended it to be that way, and it works so well.
the second one is this super unreasonable whatever this is:
"I've loved someone before. I loved going up and down the stairs with him, I loved it when he taught me how to play video games, where for every six wins he would never forget to let me win four, I loved when he cooked for me and Dog Meat, I loved when he taught me subjects, I loved when he would cover my ears whenever my parents foughtーーI was never asleep, I was always listening. ……love is when after he died I wanted nothing more than to go with him, but was afraid that other than me, no one else would remember him, so I could only use what bound him to the world to bind myself to it. I lived on for him, and even had to live well."
like who even expected a quote like that to come out of a wn titled "don't pick up boyfriends from the trash bin" not me for sure
the first time i read it i was just like, wtf this is def a memorable quote... i don't even have words for it, who even says things like this, im dying
speaking of bittersweet memories, one of my favorite parallels the author pulled is def the "video game coop mode" flashback that basically mirrors how cxc and 061 are in the current events even when cxc doesn't know 061's real identity and 061 can't reveal his real identity to cxc:
···
because... cxc misses that coop mode more than anything... even after he's "gotten used to" the "solo play" of "the game of life", he just wants his lou-ge by his side again. i love that it's such a meta thing, that the entire wn! he's literally playing coop mode with his lou-ge! but he doesn't know that and ly can't tell him! it's so! vexing! this is basically how i feel the entire time i'm reading!!!
i have no words to end this insane rant with, have some songs i headcanon as cxc>>ly songs:
ref:rain by aimer
niji no kanata ni by reona
ame ni utaeba by reona
1 note
·
View note
Note
hey!! if requests r open can u do a jack hughes x reader where its an interview where jacks emtional bc they lost and the interviewers keep prying and it makes him even more emotion and hes on a verge of tears and his voice is breaking and after the reader comforts him and he breaks down and its rly cute and fluffy? also i loved ur last jack hughes imagine and i cant wait for pt 2 if ur making one!!!
Thanks for the request! and part two to “for you” is in the works! Love the support xoxo, Ally<3
Stop the pain|| J.Hughes.
Summary: what do you do when your strong, calculated, and mostly unemotional partner starts to crumble?
Tags: @hugheshugs @nucksgal03 @snugglyducklingbrewhouse @oowenspower tag list
Warnings: sad jack, breakdowns, losing games, and comfort fic :)
your pov:
Jack was always so strong. He has been your support through everything. He was there for graduation, prom, and college acceptance. You were there for him too. You had happily stood beside him on draft day, and always been the loudest fan in the crowd. You have seen your fair share of bad losses.
Thankfully, jack always seemed to snap out of the loss soon after the buzzer rang. Unfortunately, this game was different. Jack had taken some hard hits and even gave an easy breakaway to the opposing team. You could tell he was blaming himself.
Biting your nails as you watched him get a penalty for 2 minutes. Your eyes followed him onto the penalty box with his head down low. Likely, wishing that the other team didn’t score on the power play.
It didn’t go in the Devil's favor at all. You could tell the boys were losing the battle. You could also physically see the effects it was having on Jack. His hands pulled his hair. The rims of his eyes were turning a shade of red.
All you wanted to do was get to him and pull him into your arms. Jack needed you. His eyes were scanning for you but also focused on the tragedy of a game in front of him. It was dreadful to hear the final buzzer and see not one goal made on your boyfriend’s team. You packed your things and said goodbye to the other wags. They shot you sad smiles as you walked off to go find Jack.
You weren’t expecting him to be doing a post-game interview because of how upset he had been while on the ice but the players coming out of the dressing room informed you he was. So you walked briskly to the frame outside of the interview camera to watch. Jack looked awful. You could see how exhausted and disappointed he was just by the look on his face. He shot you a sad look and mouthed that he would be done soon.
“So Jack, how does it feel to have watched such an easy win for the other team,” the rude, high-pitched interviewer asked. You saw jack shrug and try to keep his composure. He was fiddling with the headset and his jersey. All he wanted was to be home and in your arms.
“Umm..uh..it never feels good to be on the losing side of the battle, but..uhh we tried to get it back,” he stammered out,” we need to work on something’s, sometimes that’s how games go.”
His voice was cracking–his thoughts were everywhere. You were outraged that they would pose such sensitive questions to him after such a game. After a few more questions, a lot more heartbreak, your boyfriend's suffering was over. The interview ended.
Jack went to grab his things. You immediately went to wait for him–texting him that you would go and get the car so that you two would get head home quickly.
The second jack got into your car you could tell that he had been crying. His hair was damp, his eyes were glossy, and he had a fake smile on his face. He reached his hand over to hold yours silently. You didn’t want to push him.
You knew better than to try and force Jack to talk to you. He would when he was ready.
The ten-minute drive from the arena back to your shared apartment went by quickly. You hummed to the soft music playing on the radio. The whole trip home Jack just stared out the window silently. you almost thought he was asleep by the time you parked.
“Jacky, we're here.” He shuffled out of the car and walked to grab his bag from the back. You went to unlock the door and put on some food. Having already had dinner prepared before the game, you turned on the oven and placed the lasagna inside.
That’s when you heard it.
The sound of sobs rang through the house. It was Jack. You tumbled through the hall to find where he was. Jack was sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. He looked so very fragile. The world was putting its weight on your boy's shoulders. No matter how hard you would try, you couldn’t fix it.
“Jack, I love you, I need you to take a deep breath” you lovingly stated. Your arms snaked their way around his shoulders and pulled his head into your chest. You just hoped that he couldn’t hear how quickly your heart was racing. Jack had never broken down like this. sure, you had seen him have a rough game or two, but you’d never seen him so defeated like this. His head was pressed into your neck. He was clinging onto you as if you disappear if he’d let go.
This was the same Jack Hughes that went through every day with a smile, the Jack that would laugh constantly, and the boy that was undeniably himself. That Jack had been reduced to a heartbroken and self-doubting boy.
“How can I help you, Baby?” you ask. You knew that you’d do anything and everything for your boyfriend. Hell, you’d go and fight every man ever of that opposite team despite your inability to fight and the fact they all had +3” on you. “hold me,” Jack mumbled into your chest as he continued to shake. You did what he asked until the timer on the oven went off.
By now, his sobs had faded into ragged breaths. The few final beeps on the timer signaled dinner was ready. You were gentle as you pulled away from Jack, leaving a soft kiss on his head, and went to pull the lasagna out. You cut it into small pieces put it onto some plates. You poured two glasses of water.
Meanwhile, in the other room, jack changed himself into sweats and a hoodie. With watery eyes and a shaky voice, he tried to tell you that he wasn’t hungry. He knew that you wouldn’t let him go to bed without at least having a few bites and a glass of water. He listened to your loving nagging.
Most days, your boyfriend would resist you trying to baby him. After the day he had, he needed it. He felt comfortable knowing that he’d always have you to pick him back up when he fell, and you knew that you always had him.
You grabbed his hand and led him back to your shared room. Where you asked him to put on a show for you two to watch. Then you went back to the kitchen to clean up dinner. Once finished, you tiptoed into your bedroom to be greeted by a sleeping Jack.
He snored softly with his hair covering his eyes. oh, how you loved this boy. You made sure that his water bottle is full and he was tucked in by plenty of blankets. Once you were completely ready for bed, you pulled the boy to rest lightly on your chest. Whispering sweet nothings to him as he slept. All you could hope is that tomorrow he would feel a bit better.
560 notes
·
View notes
Note
You've probably talked about this kinda thing before (I'm willing to hunt down the post if so), but I'm pretty new to your blog and I'm curious; what makes you like c!Dream so much? Other than, like, his potential - or the skill that went into writing him - I mean specifically as a character, what causes you to sympathize with him as opposed to others like Wilbur or Quackity?
If it's personal you obviously don't have to answer! I've just read tons of posts like that from c!Tommy apologists and I realized I'd never read one from the other side of things (so to speak) and I think you present your ideas and stuff rly well :p
Alright, I’ve made a couple of replies like this, but this one is going in the masterpost to later link it to people - thank you for your interest, and I hope you don’t mind this one being a bit detailed.
Initially, on more of an emotional level, the answer to that question would be Dr3. It was how I got into Dream apologism, it justified my compassion for the character, and made me feel more comfortable where the rest of the fandom was overwhelmingly negative.
The c!Dream that people portray seems unsympathetic, and pretty fitting on the surface - a relentless manipulative villain with an insatiate thirst for power who threw away his friends in order to gain control over others for the sake of being on top.
Until you actually look into canon, and do some analysis, and realize that's,,, rather far from the truth.
See, the thing about c!Dream is, that he's a person much like anyone else in the story. He's not a "villain" or some morally black character only because of his actions. It's all about context, which doesn't excuse actions, but it might explain them and make an impact on the way we view the character himself.
In this fandom, people usually look at him, and then throw both accurate characterization and any of that context out the window.
Because power, and hurting people, and chaos isn't his goal or his motive. It's a means to an end. Everything is a means to the end to this character, including himself, which I find fascinating.
Is it wrong to do? Yes. Will it get him closer to his goals? Yes? Then he's going to do it, no matter who gets hurt in the process. No matter if he gets hurt in the process.
And this ruthlessness is not inspired by cruelty, this efficiency isn't out of enjoyment. It's out of genuine attachment and perhaps even desperation, but that's difficult to get into.
He's had such a downward spiral into doing continuously worse things - and for what? For control? For power? No, he never cared about that in the first place, why would he start now?
Do you know what he did care about?
His friends. The server. The people he feels responsible for.
c!Dream's goals have never been selfish at all, no matter how much people try to paint it that way. His ends were always for others - considering how likely the theory that he got himself locked up on purpose is, that enforces the sentiment even more.
If he didn't care about the server, why would he fight against L'Manberg and then list his reasons for it always as reasons "we" had? He pretty much never used "I" when talking about it, I know because I counted it.
If he didn't care about the people, why would he stand against Schlatt - despite understandably still despising L'Manberg - and actively support them in getting their country back when he could've just left them alone? Schlatt wasn't hurting him. Wilbur taking a tiny piece of land wasn't threatening him.
Manberg was threatening the server's peace, which is why he fought against it. L'Manberg threatened (and ruined) the server's relative peace and unity, which is why he fought against it.
It was never him fighting to control the server, it was him fighting for the server and the people in it, even if he ended up hurting them in the process, and that's pretty clear from analysing his motives before the second season.
And yeah, his thinking is flawed, I noticed - but cc!Dream has confirmed his goal in the end is for everyone to get along and, well, stop hurting each other, as well as him having an "ends justify the means" mentality.
And I guess that silent realization of - hell, he cares - was what drew me to have such a strong attachment towards the character.
So thinking about him forcing himself to do all this terrible stuff - about him being stuck powerless inside a cell, hurt over and over again - about just how desperate he must've been, alternatively, how ready to sacrifice himself he must've been back at the Finale.
If you recontextualize the story from c!Dream's perspective, it all falls into this picture of someone who wanted to protect people more than anything, and who cared more than anyone, and ended up losing everything, not entirely by his own fault, but because of the cycle of violence he was actively trying to stop.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Dream is incredibly selfless both in his overarching goals, and in his smaller more immediate ones. He will, more often than not, put himself in a disadvantageous situation if it means his friends or allies aren’t caught in the crossfire or harmed.
His relationship with his friends - Punz, George and Sapnap specifically - is incredibly tragic. He wanted to protect Punz, he showed genuine concern about him, he was willing to have one less person on his side just so that people wouldn't target him.
He wanted to protect George, but he hurt him in the process, because he was too caught up in being in the right, and Sapnap was distraught thanks to Tommy telling him that Dream doesn't care about him, and Quackity who despised Dream was there to fan the flames, so they fell apart rather easily.
He wanted to protect the cat, and he failed.
He wanted to protect Techno, stand up to Quackity, and he failed.
If you think about it, he failed to protect everyone miserably.
Alright before I break down sobbing incoherently - as you can probably see, my sympathy towards c!Dream doesn't come from him being a good person to any degree, more from just incredible amounts of sadness.
You see, c!Dream is a very reserved character, and he puts up the "cruel scary villain" front on purpose, and he doesn't talk about his emotions on purpose. However what we see of him is pretty much enough to classify him as a rather tragic character.
Most of his actions, with enough context, shift the way I think about the character in a more positive direction only because if I like the way a character is written, it's going to bleed into my feelings for the character himself. Ruthless villains are my jam. A character being fun to analyse and too complex to complicate further is pretty much the only thing I need to become attached.
Did I mention the prison arc yet? I cannot see a character suffering and not be sympathetic, I don't think that's a thing with me. Healing arc potential, isn't it?
A lot of people also relate to the character on a deeply personal level! Trauma responses such as cutting people off and emotionally isolating yourself, trying to regain control of your environment or to get back the past, some people even relate to,, what's being done to him during the prison arc. There's definitely some amount of projection going on, but I'd say I only do it to a degree where when I'm depressed I'll start relentlessly posting about a healing arc.
It's just hard to see a villain with good intentions hurt and alone, even if he's done terrible things, and not feel some amount of empathy. Most people don't care to see him that way, but my blog's mostly a place for those who do.
Anyways, here are some essays to check out perhaps if you've read this far that elaborate on some of the points further-
[ x ] [ x ] [ x ] [ x ] [ x ] [ x ]
- and here's an explanation like this from a fellow Dream apologist. Might be useful to get multiple perspectives on the subject. Feel free to also send asks if you have any questions! That's what I'm here for.
135 notes
·
View notes
Text
🚨 seungeun girls planet 999 support guide for buls 🚨
will be updating this as time goes on!
please read this even if you don’t want seungeun to debut in a new group (i don’t either), because we want bvndit to get as many new fans out of this as possible. i don’t know what mnh’s plans are for them if this doesn’t work out and i’m rly worried about it so please do all the things on the list; it won’t take long! we’re a small fandom so if we don’t promote them, no one will. fighting bulies~!
vote for seungeun's cell in the universe app every day
• at least at first, to keep her on the show longer. i understand if you have some reservations about this, but we don’t want seungeun to get eliminated right away and she’s definitely not the most popular contestant. my ideal scenario, personally, is for her to get as far into the competition as possible without making it into the debut group so bvndit can come back as quickly as possible and with a lot of new fans supporting them!
leave comments about seungeun on all relevant gp999 posts
gp999 twitter
• prioritize this one bc i think it could have the biggest impact as you can reply with pics and vids of seungeun (you can find plenty of material to use if you scroll through here and feel free to use my edits as well!), use the hashtags (e.g.), link to threads providing info on her (e.g., also this edit), etc.
• this account’s been promoting seungeun rly well on twt, so check them out for updates, follow their lead on things, retweet their threads promoting seungeun, etc. if you like!
• if you want to, you can follow me as well. (i don’t like twitter lol. but you can follow me if you want to easily see, like, and mimic my replies, rt updates and threads i may find, etc.)
gp999 instagram
• comment the usual messages of support! just get seungeun’s name out there as much as possible~
gp999 youtube playlist
• when a new video gets uploaded featuring seungeun, comment w/ her name and the timestamp(s) where she appears! something like “2:06 here to support bvndit’s talented maknae shim seungeun!” or “1:06 shim seungeun: vocal, visual, dancer, choreographer, dimpled cutie, beloved maknae” to let people know more about her. simple things like “2:06 here for seungeun 🥰” are okay too if you don’t know what else to say.
• here are the videos we have to leave comments on so far: welcome to girls planet, o.o.o, pr video
gp999 naver playlist
• even if naver’s not available in your country, you should be able to leave comments still if you have a naver account! things like “심승은 화팅!! ♡” (“shim seungeun fighting!! ♡”)
• here are the videos we have to leave comments on so far: welcome to girls planet, o.o.o, pr video
• follow all of the accounts and turn on notifications! the goal is always to be some of the first replies. the earlier we are, the more people will see our comments. don’t be afraid to leave multiple comments on the same post, either. there aren’t as many of us, so it’ll take more work to leave a bigger dent in the reply sections.
• be sure to like any other comments you see supporting seungeun!
send me your favorite bvndit moments
• i’ll gif them, you can reblog them (if you want aslkdf), and we’ll try to turn some more people into bvnditbuls through our girls’ humor <3 be sure to send them on anon or let me know if you don’t want to be mentioned in the gifset when i post it~ i think it would be fun to have a little collection of bulies’ favorite moments of the girls :’)
while we’re at the mercy of mnet and mnh, all we can really do is promote bvndit anywhere and everywhere we can. so if you see an opportunity to do so outside of the ones i’ve listed, go for it!! mnh keeps squandering their potential and our girls deserve so much better, so let’s do all we can for them.
and if anyone has any more suggestions on how we can promote our girls, i’d be happy to hear them! you guys can also always come to me if you have any more questions, concerns, or if you just want to commiserate lol. but this is the to-do list for now. 💛
#sorry to copy and paste some stuff i've already said but here's the complete version!#i might make separate posts when there's updates or i'll add to this and rb idk#bvndit#girls planet 999#text posts#my posts#july 2021
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi, so, I'm finishing my second yr undergrad and I finally decided that I want to be a biochem major, and I rly want to go to grad school immediately after? im just rly overwhelmed and I dont know how to narrow down a list of schools where I want to apply. I figured you'd probably have the best advice & maybe personal experience to talk about? thank you so much for all the info you bestow us with regularly 🥺💓
Hey there! I’m so glad you’ve decided on a major and the trajectory of your career! And I’m also glad you reached out, because I agree the whole process of applying to grad school can be super overwhelming.
Narrowing down a list of grad schools to apply for is definitely going to take lots of time and effort.
But what/who can help:
Your university program/career advisor/counselor may already have some sort of battle-plan from the thousands of previous students who went through the same thing, or at least could offer lots of advice and resources.
If you’re volunteering in a lab or plan to, the PI and lab members would also be a great source of information, especially other grad students. Even if they’re not studying the same program you’re planning on applying to, they still could have lots of wisdom to offer, even if it’s just observing what a day in their life is like.
Related, your TAs are grad students themselves and can offer advice too.
And other grad students you meet like myself! You’re welcome to join the Gradblr Support Group Discord--we have many prospective grads like yourself and have a chatroom dedicated to answering questions like this.
GradCafe is an online forum regarding grad admissions and info about schools. I personally didn’t use it (because I didn’t know it existed), but I’ve heard it can be helpful.
Now, for that list of schools:
First things first, in order to narrow down a list, one must make a list. I recommend using Excel or Google Sheets to start one, and just type all the schools with grad programs you’re interested in in the first column. If you don’t know where to find such a list, an internet search of “universities with _____ phd programs” is a good place to start. You can modify that search term depending on your criteria (like the country you want to study in, or if you want to do a Masters, or MD/PhD, etc). (And if you’re considering between Masters vs PhD, I made a post here talking about the pros and cons. Keep in mind it’s US-centric and STEM-centric though; some countries and some fields (even in the US) require Masters before PhD).
And while you’re making that giant masterlist, you can decide whether to include or exclude universities off the bat, such as geographical location, type of university (large vs small liberal arts), etc.
Once you’ve started your list of schools, you can input criteria in the columns that you want to compare between each school/program. Some ideas include:
Application requirements: such as minimum GPA, recommended undergrad degrees, required standardized tests and minimum scores (some schools are getting rid of requiring the GRE, some want the general GRE AND subject tests; some require language proficiency tests if you’re applying to another country), application costs, etc
Geographical location and everything that comes with it, like weather, an area’s culture, proximity to family, etc
Yearly stipend if applicable, and if you can find it
Cost of living, which is related to the stipend, because some stipends may seem really high, but there may be a really high cost of living)\
Tuition costs if you’re applying for a Masters program, which doesn’t usually include stipends
Grad student funding: for example, my PhD program has whole page on their website dedicated to our internal program funding options
University and program ranking (if that’s important to you)
# of research labs in the program (more labs = more potential choices for your dissertation topic)
Types of research in the program (especially if you’re really interested in something specific)
University resources that are important to you (think about the resources you use the most in undergrad, or wish you had access to)
Notable alumni
Potential career options (like if you want to go into biotech after graduating, maybe being in a biotech-heavy city could be an advantage)
And more as you learn more about these schools and programs through your own research or with talking to other people (like program alumni)
Once you’ve chosen your categories and filled them in for your list of schools, you can start narrowing your list by comparing the criteria that are important to you, with the goal of thinning it down to the amount of schools you’re comfortable and able to apply to.
A few other notes:
There’s no magic number for the # of schools to apply to, but keep in mind that each program’s application is separate (there’s no general “Common App”), and application costs can be upwards of a few hundred dollars each. There may also be “hidden” fees, like the costs for undergrad transcripts and standardized test scores to be sent to each school, the costs for taking those standardized tests, etc. (So it would be a good idea to have a budget sheet as well to keep track of all these fees)
I would advise to have a few “safety” schools so you can basically guarantee an acceptance. More on that here, along with other advice about grad school applications.
I also have a Masterpost of Grad Apps here (though the GRE portion may be outdated, as some schools have removed that as a requirement).
As for my personal experience, I did all that (talking to other grad students and my PI at the time, making a list and narrowing it down, making sure I had safety schools, etc). Geographical location of the schools was an important first-pass criterion for me. I’m from California and Arizona, and my family was living in AZ at the time, so I only applied to schools in those states and Colorado. I was equally interested in Immunology, Microbiology, and Cancer Biology, so I applied to all those programs in I think 6 schools (sometimes more than one application per school). Because I couldn’t decide between those fields, I also applied to umbrella biology PhD programs, which gives you the opportunity to decide which home program to choose following acceptance and lab rotations (more info of the one I eventually went to at University of Arizona here if you want to learn more).
I know that was a long post, but I hope it helped! Best of luck, and if you have any other questions, you know where to find me. My chat is also always open too.
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
❝ But before I go, remember one thing, promise me one thing: be brave when you’re afraid. ❞ ALBUS POTTER looks a lot like that muggle, CHANCE PERDOMO, right? Only 20 years old, that SLYTHERIN alumnus works as an EMPLOYEE IN THE DEPARTMENT OF INTERNATIONAL MAGICAL COOPERATION and is sided with the ORDER OF THE PHOENIX. HE identifies as CIS MAN and is a HALFBLOOD [ ADOPTED ]. [ PLOT ARC 30, PROPHECY 15, THE MEDIATOR. ]
DEATH TW. so albus was adopted by the potters when he was only one. his birth parents, a halfblood couple from london, were murdered in their home one night when al was just a baby; the result of a past affair gone wrong. whether he was left alive because he was merely a child or because the murderer didn’t realize he was asleep upstairs remains unclear, but he was the only one still alive when the team of aurors arrived, among them harry potter. unfortunately, albus had no other living relatives that could take him in, and his situation hitting close to home for harry, he and ginny made the decision to adopt him. END DEATH TW.
so yeah, al grew up with the potters from a young age, and is just so, so grateful to have been adopted by them. while he has sometimes wondered what his birth parents were like and what his life would have looked like had they lived — really, who wouldn’t? — al loves the life he’s been given and wouldn’t change it for the world. he’s never once had to doubt the love of his family — it’s clear in their every action — and the same can be said for al. he loves them more than anything in the world, and really would do anything for them.
when it came time for al to go to hogwarts, he was quite nervous about his sorting, but quickly found that slytherin really was the right fit for him. he’s ambitious, resourceful and holds a great deal of self-preservation, and his house helped him hone his skills and develop them.
he was always a really hard-working student and often one of the top in his classes, so that plus his helpful and friendly nature made him a good fit for prefect in his fifth year, and he eventually became head student in his last year which he was rly proud of hjfsgdj
growing up, al was quite an observant child and quickly became interested in politics and the way the world worked. somewhat cynical, he couldn’t help but notice the flaws in the system more so than the things they got right, and felt that he had to do something to make the world a little bit better than it was when he entered it; just do whatever he could. his family have been subjected to countless powerpoint presentations about things he would improve and correct because he is a certified nerd™ hfjkdhkj (still thinks of himself as a Bad Boy™ but that’s just wrong)
would play the sims a lot as a kid to show how he would build a society fjhsdk
his goal is to one day become minister for magic so he can work on improving life in wizarding uk for its citizens, and he’s currently working as an employee in the department of international magical cooperation. he landed an internship there after he graduated hogwarts, after which they hired him. he really wants to learn as much as he can before he fully pursues his dream, especially in terms of politics, which is why he started his ministry career here. so yeah minister is the longtime goal but i mean he’s gotta try to survive this war first! we’ll see if he succeeds.
speaking of which… al joined the order pretty much as soon as he was able to, partly because he fully believes in what they stand for, but also because he kind of felt like he had to, coming from the family he does? frankly, the war has terrified him from the start, and he wasn’t sure what he could really contribute to the order; he doesn’t consider himself brave and a big part of him would rather run away than join a battle, but he would never go through with it ( he wouldn’t be able to live with it tbh ). i think it comes down to a fundamental misunderstanding of what bravery means; it doesn’t mean that you feel no fear, just that you try to do what’s right despite it, so like — al is brave, as he fights for the order and what he considers to be right, he just struggles to identify it in himself. he can see it so easily in his friends and family, but when he looks at himself he just considers himself a coward which tbh… isn’t even true? we love insecurity in war verses! besides that he’s pretty confident tho but that’s like. his Big Insecurity you feel
DEATH TW, PARENTAL DEATH TW. harry’s death just ruined al. he keeps replaying the last moments in his mind, wanting to go back and stay with him and fight, do something to help, not just run away. he blames himself, even though he knows deep down it’s not his fault. since the start of the war, al has been terrified of losing someone he loves, but he never really thought it would be his dad - he didn’t really think anyone could get him down. he was harry potter, and he’d already survived so much, so surely he would survive this war too. finding out that he didn’t almost made al lose hope - if his dad didn’t make it, what chance did the rest of them have?
that said, when al found out about the resurrection, he was horrified. he missed his dad more than anything, but in al’s mind, there are things you simply don’t mess with, and death is top of that list. it goes against every natural law and the fact that his sister and the other knights managed to do it made him nauseous. he’s angry at lily for her actions, but more than anything he’s mad at himself - he should have made more efforts to reach out to her and support her in her grief, even though they’re in different locations. if he had been a better brother, maybe he could have helped her through it and known about the plans in advance so he could stop it
not only is he horrified that they pulled harry back from death, when he was finally at peace, but the loss of his godfather in doing so was a punch to the stomach and more grief than he knows how to handle. losing neville was something none of them saw coming; losing the only other father figure he has, and knowing that the longbottoms are now suffering as much as he and his family is, is something he never imagined or wished would happen. all the grief he’s been feeling have returned tenfold and he doesn’t really know how to handle it
because of his belief of how wrong the resurrection was ( and as part of his plot arc ), al is trying to convince the order not to restore harry’s memories. he knows some might find it strange or even cold for him to take that stance when he can have his dad back, but the thought of them having snatched harry from peace wrecks him. he feels like the least they can do for him now is allow him to live the rest of his life out in peace, away from the horrors of the war. what he doesn’t admit is that part of the reason he’s so against bringing harry’s memories back is because if his dad returns to fighting in the war, there’s a chance they can lose him again, and al doesn’t think he can survive that loss a second time
nr 1 ginny weasley defence squad over here. losing harry made al realize how much he’s taken his parents for granted? not in terms of like — ignoring them or not appreciating them enough throughout his life, because he always has, but he never imagined he would lose them? he always thought they would be there? but now harry is gone but also back but also not really and it’s a mess and neville is gone too and it’s just ginny left and al is absolutely terrified, he is so scared something will happen to her too, or to one of his siblings. he doesn’t share that with anyone, really, especially his mum, she has enough on her plate, but he wishes he could just take her, lily, and james away somewhere safe so he could look out for them because he cannot stand the thought of losing them. he just can’t and he’s so afraid. END DEATH TW, PARENTAL DEATH TW.
okay in terms of prophecies al’s one says that he ‘is destined to achieve true greatness. however, it will come at the price of what they hold most dear. they will be tested in ways they cannot imagine, and if they do not persevere through it, everything will be doomed.’ so that definitely starts out good but then sounds terrible! al honestly wishes he didn’t hear it and he’s trying to forget it but it’s hard. achieving greatness sounds good and all, especially for someone who has been dreaming of helping make the world a better place as minister since he was a kid, but at the cost of losing what he holds most dear? no fucking thank you. he’s absolutely terrified it means he might lose more family members, because they’re the ones he cares about most in the world, and he just can’t go through that again. he can’t. he wishes it won’t come true but also the warning that if he doesn’t persevere through it they’re all fucked isn’t very reassuring so altogether he’s Not Pleased!
anyways when describing characters as different types of lights, jane said al was a guiding lighthouse, looking out for the people in the night, and that really is the best description of him i can imagine tbh
but yeah, to sum him up, he’s got that Potter Sass™ and can be a hypocritical pain sometimes, but he’s quite friendly and charismatic and he’s got a good head on his shoulders and right now he is Suffering™ because of the war and what it’s doing to his family
i think his patronus might be a thestral but i need to muse more on it and also what sort of codename that could give that isn’t like…. death related gfhjsdgfk idt they need that, so i hope it’s okay i add that later!!
#rev intros#death tw#parental death tw#gonna be real with you pals i am the Absolute Worst with labels so i had no idea what to choose for al#but i think mediator sort of works??#it is what it is#anyways have a sad nerd!#this has not been proofread yet and honestly it'll never happen
24 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello!! This is sparkncharge's main!! I caught wind that the queen has reached 1k and came running to request a matchup! Congratulations and here's to many more 💖 Don't feel rushed to do this btw!!Okay, I’m a 100% introvert who has a very tough time connecting with people,I'm 18, bi, fem,a gemini,I'm a huge procrastinator but if I have a goal I will never give up on it so I can be REALLY stubborn if I want to be,I'm 5"2, very aggressive tho,I also take everything too seriously (pt1)
“(part 2) ah,,, I didn't want to make this 2 parts I'm sorry ;_; But taking things too seriously makes me the perfect target for teasing hahah,,, Since you need some appearance stuff.... I'm rly ugly LMAO and very VERY insecure, I don't like anything abt me sobI can't give you much on that front :(( Just go with someone you think won't care about appearances!! Finally, I tend to put others before myself but... it's to the point of being a doormat tbh,,, and!! my dream is to become a writer!!”
Denki Kaminari
❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥
why did I match you two?: I think he’d break all your walls down whether you liked it or not and you’d never see it coming, like one day he’d just be this annoying kid trying to be your friend and the next he literally shines brighter than the sun to you. He’d be really greta for you as a partner and would help with boosting your confidence
how you’d get together: he’d probably notice you being too shy to talk to anyone else and he doesn’t want anyone to be without a friend so he’d start trying to befriend you. As he gets to know you he’ll automatically find your determination about the things you love absolutely magnetic and after a while he’ll work up the courage to ask you out.
what your relationship would be like: it’d consist of him being extremely supportive of you and your dreams, and vice versa. He’d find a way to make every single day fun and happy for you because to him it’s exactly what you deserve. There would be tons of inside jokes between the two of you and he’d constantly push you to socialize more, but not in an overwhelming way, and will constantly help you try and achieve your dreams.
nicknames he has for you: ‘lightning bug’ is his mushy nickname for you that he only calls you privately, ‘honey bunny’ was also meant to be a private nickname but it constantly slips out while in public so he just constantly calls you that now, he’ll also call you ‘baby’ but not as often as the other two.
your song: she - harry styles
headcanons for your relationship:
❥ unbeknownst to you he’ll always be watching out for you and making sure no one is taking advantage of you and your kind nature or making fun of you for taking things serious and being passionate about them.
❥ as much as he hates to read he will ALWAYS read all of your works and even compliment you on them since he knows how much your dream means to you
❥ he’ll constantly compliment you and say “you’re beautiful from the inside and out” like he can’t fathom how you don’t see how perfect you are.
❥ he’s the type of guy to take off guard picture of you and post them to his snapchat story just to brag about how amazing you are
❥ if he catches you procrastinating on unimportant tasks then he too will join you and it’ll eventually turn into a cuddling session.
☆ Match Up Guidelines
☆ Master List
~ A/N: you’re the absolute sweetest! you know I adore your blog too so thank you! ~
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
questions for neurodivergent folks ( from @shitborderlinesdo )
post here!
if ur autistic:
1. do you stim?
yes, sometimes! i’ve suppressed a lot of it over time but i still do some subtly.
if so, what are yr favourite stims?
touching/tapping the tips of my fingers together, stroking soft patches of skin(esp backs of my hands, wrists, or parts of my thighs, hips, ankles), cracking knuckles, stretching fingers/feet/arms/legs rly far, rapid blinking(though i also have a tic involving blinking which is similar, but involuntary), bubble wrap,flicking light switches/door lock mechanisms, bouncing on toes, toewalking, chewing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(esp pens/pen caps and similar textures), biting, mouthing/lipping things, clacking my teeth lightly, whistling, leg jiggle sometimes, jumping, skipping, hopping, and a few other rly specific things (like involving swimming, or being on something and hanging so im upside down and stuff)
2. happy stims? chewing, biting, skin stroking, finger tapping, skipping, hopping, jumping
3. negative stims? snapping fingers, “hiccuping” (it’s a little giggle/hiccup type thing i do, but idk what to call it), teeth clacking, leg jiggle, exposing too long to extreme cold temps, hitting head against things
4. favourite textures? idk how to explain the soft-smooth i like; silk usually looks like it should feel like this, but it doesn't. also when people talk about “plush velvet” the texture that comes to mind is good, like a really nice stuffed animal or a cavalier king charles spaniel with super soft fur, but real velvet feels bad lol. also just most fur in general, esp rabbit, cat, certain dogs. some wing or chest feathers on birds like doves. milk weed fluff. soft, squishy, fuzzy caterpillars(not the bristly guard hair ones. more like forest tent caterpillars), moon jellies, soft leather/suede, really smooth grey granite, polished shiny pink granite, lambs ear/mullein
5. least favourite textures? some types of linen are VERY BAD but idk what they are, they’re like stiff and scratchy and feel super cold? gummy bears, ew. really hard chocolate in cold ice cream, a lot of faux furs, like so many, most (sheep)wool, scallops, often times chinchilla fur feels bad, most velvet, esp crushed velvet, potato sacks, a lot of plastic bags/thin plastic film
6. what's a pet peeve of urs involving a specific sound? squeaky plastic is the worst, esp from plastic wrap. teeth grinding/bruxing is bad, hearing people having sex in another room/apt, heavy footsteps/stomping, esp when fast like running, door slamming, when people slam their hands on a table because they just thought of something, the sound quality of like...having water in your ears/popped ear drums, where everything feels muffled and almost whispery/far away, but also REALLY LOUD AND CLOSE...
7. a specific sound that makes you Really Happy? al snoring softly like a cat, my cat snoring, cats purring, crackling fires, wind whistling, waves lapping, thunder rumbling, THUNDER CRACKING, wood creaking in a strong wind, that soft snuffling of cat/dog noses, the sound of rodents digging in bedding or eating millet, angel caller bells(bola, fairy callers, whatever you call them)
8. when were you diagnosed (self or professionally)? about 6 years ago what has changed with the diagnosis? i dont hate myself for as much of my behaviours/thinking/speech patterns. im slowly trying to let myself let go of “survival mode” NT behaviours i was forced to learn
9. are there any behaviours you have that, prior to diagnosis, didnt make much sense, but now they do? too many to list lmao
10. what kind of representation would you like to see of autistic ppl in media? girls, trans folks, autistics of colour, just less cis white boy perfect example savants. autistics with “atypical” autistic symptoms. autistics with ugly meltdowns and other unpleasant symptoms. autistics who are messy eaters, who can’t dress themselves, who struggle with everyday tasks and self care. autistics with “useless” special interests that cant be reworked to make them more productive genius types. LOUD autistics.
if ur mentally ill:
11.when were you diagnosed (self or professional)?
6 yrs old or younger
12. what is your diagnosis/are your diagnoses?
BPD, (various types of)depression, DPD/social anxiety(when i’m alone)/agoraphobia, panic disorder NOS, mood disorder NOS, DID, ADD/ADHD-PI, ASD, gender dysphoria at one point, conduct disorder or whatever it was called. IED. all i can think of. all diagnosed professionally over the years, though ASD is not on any official records because i asked it to be left off to avoid that specific abuse/stigma.
13. is the community youve found with other mentally ill ppl helpful?
mostly no. but in some ways, yes. i appreciate having more access to info, hearing relatable stories, common symptoms/experiences that help me understand things better, etc. close friends with illnesses/disorders are nice, but mostly i know them for other reasons outside of diagnoses.
14. do you find it challenging to tell ppl yr mentally ill?
absolutely
15. what are the most effective coping mechanisms youve found?
im not sure. i just...cope? somehow? not always effectively, but idk.
16. have you ever been to therapy?
ya
if yes, what helped and what didnt help?
i hate group therapy. in individual therapy, i like having my husband sit in on the sessions for support. therapist NEEDS to prompt me and ask active and specific questions. setting clear goals with clear steps helps. a lot of more “creative” methods actually are super unhelpful for me.
17. do "find your happy place" exercises help you or no?
sort of? i don’t try them much. usually they make me sadder that im not there.
18. what are some of the most Tiresome Cliches ppl tell you to deal with yr mental illness (i.e., "just do yoga!")?
“everyone gets depressed”, “yoga”, “fresh air, sunlight, and exercise!”, “essential oils”, “meditation”, “_______ diet/supplement”, “mind over matter”, “lose some weight” (THIS DOES NOT MEAN NONE OF THESE CAN BE HELPFUL AND I DO WANT TO DO SOME OF THESE THINGS, BUT STATING THE OBVIOUS ABOUT THIS SHIT AND BEING CONDESCENDING IS SO FUCKING ANNOYING)
19. what books / movies have really helped u?
none in this regard
20. what kind of representation would u like to see of mentally ill ppl in media?
idk. better. sympathetic without condescentding, infantilising, or demonising. sympathetic recovery stories, showing a happy ending, but not some “theyre cured” BS
if ur chronically ill:
21. when were you diagnosed (self or professionally)?
asthma - like 4 yrs old, tendonitis - like 13 yrs old, unspecified pain/inflammation - 2019 professionally (like 2011 ish on my own, but really it started when i was ~13), nocturnal epilepsy - not done with diagnosis process/testing as of july 2019, a few chronic infections that don’t affect me any more were diagnosed when i was a kid, idk
22. do you find the support system with other similarly affected ppl to be helpful?
i’ve not been involved much, tried it out, really
23. what do you struggle w most on a daily basis?
pain/inflammation/stiffness in joints, back, neck, shoulders, feet
24. what helps you most?
i wanna say sleep, but it actually makes everything worse so, new diet(anti inflammation), making goals/plans, spirituality, going to healing places like the woods or by the sea or mountains, massage, soft comforting petting from my husband
25. what do you want to tell able-bodied and neurotypical ppl in regards to chronic illness?
it’s not the same. yeah maybe “everyone has back pain”, but my pain and your pain are different; they happen for different reasons and they affect us in different ways. if everyone is in pain we should do something to make life easier for everyone, not dismiss people who are suffering.
26. how do u keep your strength on a daily basis? i dont
27. if yr family supportive?
mostly yeah?
if not, who do you find the most strength and support in, outside of yourself?
my husband, regardless
28. what kind of representation would you like to see of chronically ill ppl in media?
show me people who find creative, easy, free/cheap ways to be comfortable/improve symptoms. do not fucking cure them to make them happy. let them be happy and comfortable by finding new ways to do things, no by erasing their obstacles.
if u have bpd:
29. when were u diagnosed (self or professionally)?
2014, i think? though it was suggested by a therapist in like 2008 or 2009
30. do you think the support system in the community is helpful?
no
31. what are some of the ways you keep yrself grounded and remind yrself to Take a Step Back when bad feelings get in the way of rational thinking?
remind myself other people have autonomy, think about how i would feel if someone reacted to things i was doing the way my brain wants to impulsively react to them, talk talk talk, find something else to do as distraction
32. coping skills?
idfk what they are, they’re just there. usually.
33. how do u keep yrself in check when impulsive mood swings come around?
uh, mostly i covered this in 31. gotta reset focus on something else, find distraction that produces different emotions until mood passes
34. what skills do you use to remind yourself that you are loved?
husband. doesnt always work, but mostly.
35. who has been the most supportive of u?
husband.
36. how has your diagnosis changed the way you view yrself and yr interactions w other ppl?
more mindful of others feelings and needs, esp my mum with BPD
37. what kind of representation would you like to see of ppl w bpd in media?
not fucking abusive/manipulative or miserable. let us struggle but have great supports and practice effective coping skills so we can build stronger relationship bonds and enjoy socializing and/or things that are personally important
all ppl:
38. how do you deal w ableism that comes at you from all directions?
laugh about it with my friends i guess?
39. who in your life is the most supportive of u and yr recovery?
husband
40. who are some people on tumblr who have really helped u in yr journey?
well, i met cieran here. alice has been a good influence. there’s a few of you for sure, though maybe not all specifically for these sorts of things.
41. best coping skills?
i dont know
42. most irritating Ableist Cliches ppl use to tell u yr not good enough?
infantilizing me(comparing me to a child), mocking my productivity/commercial success, “daddy issues”, trying to gaslight me into thinking i’ve been abusive because we disagree on something/i pointed out something they dont like
43. best most supportive thing anyone's said to you?
“i want to be like you when i grow up”
44. songs for Happy Times?
counting stars, gooey, just about anything by MIKA, most “meme” songs
45. songs for Not-Happy Times?
a lot of hozier, bastille, of monsters and men, rage against the machine, flobots
46. non-triggering movies that discuss mental illness?
im not sure, i know there are some i love that i could list, but none are coming to mind. not a movie but: moomin and most ghibli media, esp kiki’s delivery service.
#long post#mental health#actuallyautistic#chronic illness#borderline personality disorder#about me#idk#shitborderlinesdo
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
for the ask meme: black nail polish; pantone; cactus; sunrise; oil paints; bands; marble ((ily 💖))
hi baby! thank you for sending me all these i loved answering them and i rambled so much i hope this is to ur liking i’m so sorry for the mess but ily2 (i typed 3 which is valid tbh)
black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?
as your local pessimist, that’s one of the few lists i’ve always been afraid to make, but there ARE some things i rly rly want to do like, y’know, visit like…certain people. you know. that’d be cool. and hold them. also going back to paris would be nice and i’ve always wanted to see some national parks in the us, but that one…extremely unrealistic tbh.
pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.
ok let me tell you about my best friend. she’s very smol and so very cute that when i look at her sometimes i want to cry (and no it’s not bad tears just tears of regret bc her face is so holdable and i can’t hold it). she’s rly kind and supportive and patient even tho i’m a hugeass shit 80% of the time, and she’s so very smart and talented and passionate about the things she does. one of my favorite things is when she rants abt games (and lore) bc she gets all serious and it’s so beautiful she’s a nerd i love her so much. talking to her is great bc she’s funny and inspires my memebrain (and metabrain) and boy she can be smooth too but please don’t tell her that bc i don’t want to be killed. she’s a real trooper and badass and i’m rly proud of her for getting this far and i’m counting on her to keep killing it i’m her biggest fan even tho she deserves better tbh. if you wanna know more you know where to find me ;)
cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?
BROWN EYES ARE SO VALID!! like……..dark brown. is such a good color. like dark chocolate i love dark chocolate i love barely being able to tell apart iris and pupil i just…idk dark brown eyes are good and lighter brown eyes?? fuck yes ofc that too gimme that sweet ombre i have a thing for eyes generally can you tell oops
sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.
oKAY HERE ARE THREE HANDPICKED ANNIE FAVES TM:
1) the sunrise, of course, doesn’t care if we watch it or not. it will keep on being beautiful, even if no one bothers to look at it- gene amole
basically the most aesthetic way to tell me to stop giving so many fucks abt attention and opinions because they’re not what makes things good (which is smth i have so far failed to learn)
2) why can’t people just sit and read books and be nice to each other? - david baldacci
the biggest mood. i’m so done with shitty humans and books are good so honestly why not just do that let’s just read books in peace and stop being shits (also we should read books together some time just saying)
3) i think we all just want someone who can see the beauty we can’t see in ourselves. not someone that romanticizes the mess and calls it beautiful, but someone that walks boldly into our brokenness, sees us spread-eagle in the middle of the wreckage and says that we’re worth salvaging.- maxwell diawouh
i don’t think there’s a lot to say abt this one but stuff like that always opens my eyes so much (for like 2 minutes max let’s be honest). boy i sure wish i could put things that are like…so much at the core of everything into beautiful words as someone who never has words i truly envy
oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?
getting by just so, or my personal favorite: how did she even get there? scientists can’t tell. or: a series of regrets
bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.
hmmmmm this is difficult since…music is kinda 70% of my life rip so everything is kinda important, but the songs that will always be closest to my heart like…timelessly are the ones i listen to when i’m feeling down or need to calm down? the songs i have cried to repeatedly oops. there’s the famed max richter, also smile? i used to listen to smile to cry so much which is ironic but it happened. also prolly dear friends by queen? and be still by the killers, to name a few. oH and my go to song to get rid of aggression and b r e a t h e aka boulevard of broken dreams (so cliche i know) that’s some tunes that have kept me company and picked me back up and i‘m sure there’s more and specific lyrics too but that’s been some rambling already i’ll be sure to update you when smth comes to my mind!
marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?
uhhh good question tbh i’m…kinda just floating but i know i rly rly want to keep studying that’s like my number one goal and just like…to Live? to keep appreciating and rly being aware of all the neat lil details around me i think that’s rly important to me rn.
#non-sims#saviorhide#ask annie#random facts about annie#replies#pixeldemographics#dw i have seen the other ask im just struggling to answer
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Midnight Sept 28 2021 12:30am
Midnight thoughts
Finally got babygirl to go to sleep hopefully she’ll stay asleep. Homeboy over here dont even know I got up or that I’m sitting up typing rn ha smh. Anyway... honestly... lately been feeling lonely but with support if that makes sense...
Lots of paperwork here to fill out reg benefits, insurance, etc but it’s working out gradually. might be able to get a cabin soon for my own lil fam so we’ll see how that works out and we plan to move next year so we’ll see how that works out too...
kinda leaning towards going our own way bc its a lotta hands involved and the left doesn’t always know what the right is doing or diff views on everything kinda confusing rn but itll work out
def an adjustment period. but just kinda feel lonely bc not rly anyone to talk to about honest thoughts? honestly? sometimes doubting... but excited in planning? now that were officially getting our own room to fill up w our own stuff is kinda sorta cool but not sure how it will go when the weather is bad
just gonna just keep typing as i go until i get rudely interrupted. lol
kinda bummed that i won’t be able to do this once lo arrives bc thatll be two bebes to constantly watch and never have time for myself
i always told myself not to have kids until i was financially stable and i broke the one promise to myself...... the one thing i didn’t want for my life..... but GOD you make a way when there’s no way
what else... worried about bebe growing if she’s ok normal all parts eating enough growing enough just idk.. always gonna be wondering...
ill even be wondering when both kids grow up and things will come up like disabilities along the way and that scares me. not in the fact that i can’t handle it but how their life will be as they grow up
just hoping they have everything that they need and grow up happy and feel loved all the time and able to express themselves....
my patience does run thin these days but maybe its my hormones? but again maybe not lol haha
wow everytime i come back here i feel different and im always at a different stage in my life.
missing my family in the way of how they remind me of who i am and where i came from they say ive grown up and that im independent but idk how much of that is really true
what else... dont rly talk to anyone much either... if anything it’s hb’s mom and then hb and even that isn’t much
daylight savings time is diff - sun didn’t go down until 7pm-8pm and it felt different. finally found my favorite grocery store that gives me a little piece of home and got to see a new side of town with the shops near the mall.. that was exciting lol
it’s really such a trip how much of a stop life is at the moment rn but i guess its a way to tell me we got to slow down hashtag cashaley haha
teddyswims and allenstone were dope on that yt video though lol
i oughta listen to more music to mellow out! haha. DEF need my own headphones or earpods... which HB didn’t give away my freakin mpower flames... lol. but headphones be hurting my ears but also i be needing them sometimes to chill or watch a movie
idk what the future holds but im holding on jesus lol im holding on....
hmm what else. lately ive been WAY TOO addicted to chocolate... and hmm what else... i need a journal just for notes like shopping lists, to do lists... etc.
glad im back in the tumblr and pinterest world lol. but pinterest to me seem like fleeting dreams and a whole lotta money mama does NOT have haha
hoping my work visa comes in soon so that i can apply for the residency one in december as soon as baby is born lol.
i can’t believe i dont remember if i bled a lot or not after giving birth last year... but last year was such a year of turmoil trials and tribulations... so to me i get it.. but yeah anyway
it’s weird... i feelike im here and not here.. maybe bc of lockdown and now in level 3 but a lot of empty dreams happening! but goals are def being met and worked on and completed so i can’t complain about that
i get worried everyday if bebe in there is still kicking so many horrifying and sad stories around the world its just no way to protect your kids idek
as far as self care... i was kind of doing it but at least im cleaning more and helping around the house more? i just hope im not slacking where it’s most important
what else.... hm.... what else is on my mind tonight. body be SORE LIKE A MF. from having to be a 25/8 366 day arm pillow, having huge ass legs to lay on my side, damn i miss my side lmao, to having to share a freakin blanket lmao.
idk just a lot going on and not rly any outlet to do. this mf still aint notice im sitting here lol anyway
what else is on my mind.... for some reason i really wanna find more haircare stuff lol. i need pa’us lol and rubberbands, scrunchies, bins, what else... idek but i need it alll please and thank you lol
babygirl is kod rn so cute but baby just dont move sleep peacefully by yourself for now haha
anyway we’ll find out this week if we’re gonna move to the next chapter and hopefully nana approves of our new plan idek
what else... i swear i clean up and two seconds later its a mess again in here
trying not to be too paranoid about stuff in here but it gets to me when they all start to puss ugh yuck fkn gross man but well get by maybe the nzbugs aint used to american fat skin haha
fitness is something im def looking forward to out here... kinda need to go for walks more often whether its just down the street or the small park nearby which here is called the bush lol
dont even get me startttttted on vocabulary... lets see what ive learned so far here...
bush / wop wops - foresty tree area, gumboots - rainboots, jumper - jacket or longsleeve? dairy/superette - small convenience store not connected to a gas station, what else... rubbish - trash... idek cant think of anything else... oh chocolate is specifically chocolate and lollies are gummies and others i guess... newspaper rolling for all food leftover or compost i guess... idk thats all i can think of for now
what else..... that was GROSS bruh. haha tay said don’t lose your venacular... lol. maybe if i keep listening to throwbacks that remind me of home...
ok i feel better i guess now that i wrote down some thoughts gonna try to put these clothes away and then get some rest for tomorrow
kbye!
0 notes
Text
BDRP Resolutions
in which this is long
Write your RPer Resolutions for 2018!
-Plot with more members, definitely! I try to expand of course and rp threads with everyone but I think I could do better and could def do bigger plots with more people.
-Complete more tasks tbh. This one is gonna be hard for me to do but idk if I could do at least one task every other month that would be an improvement over last year haha.
-Continue to work on scenery and detail etc. My weaknesses. I hope that rping more detail-oriented characters, like Charlie or even Mowgli, or exploring the lake with Andrina or the forest with Prince/Merida will help with this. Though also just being more aware of it in the day to day
-Dream Journal for Charlie/More music stuff for radio
Write at least one resolution, or “goal,” that you have as an RPer for your character(s)
Mel: This was on last year’s so that tells u something but I think it’s gonna happen-- explore her feelings for Howl! Also would love for her to do some more seedy things and i see want an apprentice!!
Ber: Explore Berlioz’s mental health more. Whether I do this through tasks/one-shots or something, Ber is kinda in this weird place where he’s blurring the line between reality/fantasy and I think that’s interesting. A lot of it has to do with things he isn’t dealing with (trauma from Taka and going down into hell). Also very specifically I want him to rp with Marie more bc Berrie is kinda underdeveloped both on my part as an rper and his part as like a mediocre brother lmao. I also like him as a supporting role in other people’s plots and I hope I can keep pushing him in those directions. And of course I’m very interested to see him and Simba repair and grow their relationship hopefully stronger than ever. <3 OH and g row a backbone tbh stand up for himself more do it ber
Kiara: Figure out her school life!! I still want to have her shadow someone sooo I think I could see her shadowing Minnie or even Jiminy since she’s sort of into health and social work. Also explore her envy of her friends with magic bc she had powers in Star wars and lowkey she still wants powers (opportunity for Feys Gold Antics here-- also feel liek there could be something interesting in Kiara v. Jake if Jake really does start getting more elitist)
Hades: BOARD STUFF. Im really excited to play Hades as a politician and like-- authority figure in town. Though he’s gotta save his own soul first lol. Also supporting Belle in hopefully going back to school. Alsoooo there are loose threads in hell that I have and would like 2 look into…
Milo: Talk with Jane about what comes next after pride u because his grant is almost up! Plot with BIANCA/BERNARD hopefully about the rescue aid society.
Nala: ONE NIGHT STAND SERIOUSLY. Let loose. Date someone bc if she fell in love work wouldnt be her focus and she’d grow a lot. Uh repair relationship with Simba?
Kiki: bring back jiji lmfao i suck. Finish her apprenticeship and unlock the trU nature of her powers and stuff mhm. Also kiss someone lol
Anita: Bring her fam in town and explore like, this clash between her old life and the new life now that she has grown so much.
Prince: ACCEPT UR FEELINGS FOR ELLA. Embrace them! Continue to train Bambi/find the fucker who shot u/be a Dad and do Dad things like idk a parent teacher conference??? Thats hilarious. Somehow I want him to become like a guest lecturer at Pride U but I’m not sure how yet. I also feel like idk Akela could draw him into becoming slightly darker after this shooting and that might be interesting so who knows, maybe he should join Akela’s morally gray magic club,
Paul: GO TO PRIDE U PLZ. Deal with the paulina plot lol. Contend with his inferiority issues that stem from the financial inequality between him and Perdy. Just rly go into their relationship and figure it out post-break up post-make up u know
Andrina: Explore the lake. Get into seedy stuff with Ursula maybe??? Continue to sleep with people thats very fun for me. FIND OUT WHO RAVEN IS. Get a cat.
Merida: I need her to make more friends bc I want her to fuck up and then ruin all those friendships ahaha. Want to have a showdown with some powerful magicks, gimme Akela and Max, all the shapeshifters!!!
Mowgli: Meet the Bonfamilles (lmao). Uhhh would lvoe to rp more with Akela i need to brainstorm how. I’d also like him to become more extreme tbh? Maybe start having night terrors or something bc of all his suppressed guilt wow just got a good idea ahha. Alsoooo maybe get a mentoooor…
Charlie: HAVE A PROPHECY ABOUT SOMEONE PPL HIT ME UP. I wanna start him on the research train when I get that in place and also maybe abuse hospital equipment (aka scan his own brain ehhe) but also maybe save someone’s life would be cool, ok, yeah. Also hopefully grow his relationships with all hospital personnel and patients, and maybe get a mentorship with Tibbs and/or Sweet. In fact it’d be really cooool if he could eventually help Sweet with his research like as an intern or assistant or something. And also i want to get him to an event but i need him to get a friend for that so!!! A texting buddy friend, that is a specific goal.
Write at least one resolution IN CHARACTER for your characters. What do THEY want to accomplish or change in the New Year?
Mel: “Do something impossible.”
Ber: “Be a better brother and friend and boyfriend… be less crazy lol ahah”
Kiara: “figure out my LIFE lmao”
Hades: “Make real change in Swynlake.”
Milo: “Apply for a grant to study Atlantis...again.”
Nala: “Be my oWN love of my life. I’m a single independent woman and that’s amazing, I’m AMAZING.”
Kiki: “Restore Jiji D:”
Anita: “Direct a play again! That would be very fun. Oh, and paint more, I really do need to paint.”
Prince: “Be a good father to Bambi… make the forest a safe place again.”
Paul: “Be a good father, a good partner-- find better ways to support my kids.”
Andrina: “lol i dont DO goals bye.”
Merida: “Shoot Mor’du. Become a Prince.”
Mowgli: “... don’t make any trouble.”
Charlie: Bitch has a list.
Get phlebotomist license!!
Renew certs: CPR/AED/First Aid/Wilderness First Aid/BLS
Give up gluten! Again!
Exercise.
Go to a Swynlake Event! It will be fine no one will die!!! (!!!)
Plotting Exercise! Pick one of the resolutions/goals in #2 and plan a rough guideline to how you could accomplish it.
Mowgli explores his powers/grief
PARA 1: Has a nightmare and accidentally sets something on fire (Akela)
PARA 2: Frightened, Mowgli confides in someone about his powers (Peach/Will)
PARA 3: Seeks help from either Howl or Ursula--depending on which one, it could litERally change the direction of the entire plot.
List of Characters I want to RP with:
I went through character by character but I would love to do more than this I am sure ahah.
Mel: Mateo, Ursula, Sophie (bc duh Howl), Akela
Ber: Irma, Sophie because they should be better friends, more Peg, JENNy bc they play piano ok!!, ANNETTE bc they totally know each other!!, tbh daisy and ber could do something with anxiety, Rita for sure, more Simon somehow i swear it
Hades: Sally, more stuff with Miguel, Jack, Shock/Samara, Al, Cruella, Simba, Oogie, maybe Dipper
Kiara: more stuff with Jake, Jiminy, Minnie/Rama maybe, Isa, Wilbur, Penny, Ollie, Jenny. Also lowkey Ursula.
Milo: more stuff with Kida, Bianca, Elena, also Goliath and Thomas (teachers!!)
Nala: MAUI. sorry look i just want maui its been a year. Also maybe some board members and stuff since she’ll be politically active? So Al, Cruella, Soleil for that (and Simba, but I rp with simba allll the time). Also Arthur, Adam.
Kiki: Mateo as well!! More young-ish people: Dipper, Maui (she’s a #bigfan), Callie.
Anita: more stuff with Perdita. Also other artists: Pascal, Jane, Namine, Violet, maybe Art if he does art??, Peach, Peri, Duchess etc!! Hit me up please.
Prince: all the forest politics okay: Alasdair, Akela, Goliath, Shere, why are these men. Also just big Magicks in general: Ursula, Namine maybe. More fairies so Peri and Terence. Also very specifically: Theo and Thomas O’Malley. Maybe Jake tbh if he starts like patrolling the forest?
Paul: Goliath bc he’s a lit professor! Thomas bc they are bros now!!!! Maybe some other mersisters-- Aqua, Alana, Arista. Peach bc writing? Lmao. Also some lowkey shady people like Roscoe or Lock would be really great. Possibly Oogie bc he owns a casino and gambling~
Andrina: URSULA ok sorry i just want the sea witch. TBH Hiro or Tombo could be cool bc she’s into STEM stuff. Ken because I want to rp with Ken and I don’t think anyone else would get along? Ahah. Arista, Aqua and Alana. Herculessss.
Merida: Bambi bc scottish and also lowkey was involved in mother’s death!!! Maximus bc she should shoot him!! More Shere! Follow-up with Goliath tbh in class lmao would be funny. CORNY bc thye r destined to be friends. Callie!!! Oo, also more Eric.
Mowgli: Howl, Ursula, Mateo, more Peach, Jenny, Wilbur, Theo, Bambi Penny (yay orphans). Maybe a professor: Thomas, Goliath, Shere?
Charlie: so many ok. Ellie, Sweet, Shock, Jack, SALLY thats in caps bc I need it, Dipper, Boo, tbh could do some drug stuff with Roscoe, Lock and Theo. Rita bc she can be his mom, Oogie, anyone with trauma who wants charlie to relive it with them: eric, thomas, shere, lou the list can go on-- annnnd belle and callie also
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
i'm recovering from an eating disorder and preparing to go into my freshman year at princeton. i'm super nervous for the transition! i noticed some of the contributors have also recovered from disordered eating, and i wanted to know what are the resources/tools available for a student recovering? is princeton a supportive environment for those who are recovering?
Response from Orion:
I myself don't have personal experience with the resources or disordered eating, but I'm a member of Letter to Strangers, a mental health group that is working on some advocacy for resources for recovery from disordered eating on campus. If you want to be involved, submit your netid and I'll reach out to you.
CPS has some resources and an ED team - I believe there may be an ED recovery group, but I'm not sure. Honestly, I've heard that their resources are subpar, which is part of the reasons we're working on reforms and increased training!
Other contributors and readers are probably more qualified to respond to your questions on personal experiences with resources and recovery at Princeton.
Response from Soup Cat:
seconding L2S (i’m also a member) - we’d love to have you! i *think* we’ll also be sending out some kind of survey to the general student body asking for suggestions on cps reforms, so that’s another way to have some input without the full commitment of joining.
CPS definitely gets...mixed reviews, but i think it’s still helpful to set up an initial consultation appt with one of their counselors on the eating concerns team to talk about which resources (on-campus therapy, off-campus providers that work with your insurance, the support group, etc.) would work best for you. also i’ve noticed that they tend to be rather gatekeep-y with their eating concerns team, so this is probably the best way to get access to the clinical dietitian (whom i’ve had a really good experience with), medical checkups/necessary lab testing, and so on, if any of that would be useful to you.
to be completely honest, princeton is not the most supportive environment for recovery. the atmosphere of ultra-high goals and narrow ideals of perfection extends to physical appearance, and imo unhealthy attitudes towards food and body are often normalized. campus dining tends to do a pretty good job of focusing their campaigns on wellness/sustainability rather than calories, but campus rec/dillon is more hit-or-miss (they do talk about wellness/fun, but they also have obnoxious weigh-in and calorie-guessing challenges that they refuse to get rid of despite repeated feedback that this is problematic). the good news is that there are lots of wonderful people at princeton and it’s not hard to surround yourself with friends who will do their best to be understanding and create a supportive microenvironment for you :)
princeton body positivity is a new group that’s seeking to change this overall campus atmosphere and start conversations about healthy relationships with food and our bodies. we recently sent an email to a bunch of listservs and posted in the ‘24 fb page with a list of ED resources and an anonymous ED support group chat -- if anyone can’t find those links, i can post them here. currently we’re pretty small and just have the support group, but we’re hoping to expand and do more with education/outreach/etc this year, so that might be something you’d like to get involved in as well!
on a final note, i’m proud of you for choosing recovery <3 feel free to drop your netid if you ever want to chat, or hit me up for a socially distanced meal when we get to campus!
(sorry for writing a literal essay lmao this is just smth that’s rly important to me and im always happy to babble indefinitely about it LOL)
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
