#these are the vibes for this writing session
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it’s bloodwork day so I cannot eat until my appointment later into the morning (close to lunch, so I can eat smth afterwards), but boi if it isn’t stressful looking at crackers ang go 👀. and they aren’t even good crackers to begin with! time to write the hunger away.
#sneaky niki#lamb loose liveblogging#silky niki#I have that dog in me (*points to a shaky italian greyhound with anxiety*)#also why is it that today the theme of the day is HDS having a little found family trope going on in this fic?#with people from a cult?#mate. mate open your eyes. you can’t save everyone ;-; also you are too rotten inside to save them#or are u? maybe you can save a couple of them. as a treat.#maybe the young woman that reminds you so much of your niece can be taken away#or the young lawyer that reminds you so much of yourself back in the days#or the actress who scammed you but now makes sure you have every technological advantages you could possibly need#KOJ hates u. sure. but SDY his still his top priority. maybe you can save them both who knows#these are the vibes for this writing session#people may not be losing money on the ground these days but I still hope anyone reading can find some money bills on the floor#u deserve a littol treat 🍀#Niki out~!
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Joel turns around. Martyn is standing there. His eyes are a burning red that gives Joel the heebie-jeebies. If anyone would know to be scared, it's Joel! He would! He'd recognize a mad dog if he saw one anywhere!
Anyway, all of that is to say that his high-pitched scream had been totally justified. "Oh my word Martyn what are you doing here?" he says, clutching his hand over his heart, several feet further back than he'd been thirty seconds ago.
Martyn snorts. "Is the sign not for me? Figured there was no one else it could be for."
"The what?"
"The sign."
Joel turns around. Outside his base, the other Mounders have hung a helpful banner: "SORRY EVERYONE YOU LOVE IS DEAD <3".
He'd told them it was kind of rude, hanging that up. Sort of made light of the whole thing, really. His wife and Mumbo and Jimmy had died, guys, don't be idiots about it. Bdubs had loudly told him that he was TRYING to be helpful, Joel, geez, why don't you appreciate his efforts? Pearl had shrugged and said they don't exactly make cards for this kind of thing. Joel's pretty sure they do, actually but...
Sorry everyone you love is dead. Hah.
"My wife is dead, Martyn," Joel says.
"Who, Lizzie or Jimmy?" Martyn says, weirdly dark. "Anyway, my husband's dead, so--"
"Your what?"
"Mumbo and I got married one time. Everyone forgets that for some reason."
Joel has to think about it a while. "Huh."
"Yeah. Anyway, you've still got the other Mounders, huh? Don't know what you're crying about. Thought the sign had to be for me. Thought I'd show up. Get cake. Kill some people. You know how it is."
"If there's a TNT minecart in my base, the first thing I do after I turn red is kill you," Joel says.
"That's not really how it works this time," Martyn says.
"Yeah, well, screw you," Joel says. "Also, they didn't make me any cake. I should ask them for that next. Hah. A cake."
"You know, maybe don't ask for that? Parties tend to go wrong in this game."
"And who's fault is that, huh?"
"Hey, don't look at me! Or, do. Since I'm going to kill everyone, on account of everyone I love being dead and all. Really convenient excuse for murder, that. I should use it more often, if it didn't involve the crippling grief," Martyn says.
"Oh, please. At least you tend to have people to love in the first place," Joel snaps.
"Oh, right, that is your curse, isn't it?" Martyn says. "Sorta broke it last time, but you do tend to get isolated and a bit crazy. Hey, I wonder if we're the ones who traded, actually what with the whole wolf thing."
Joel blinks. "What?"
"Oh, we're all cursed," Martyn says. "After all, They like it better that way. Hey, do you think Jimmy's curse transferred to Lizzie, got cancelled out by the fact Lizzie tends to die stupidly, or got broken? Personally, I'm thinking random fluke, when it comes to canary nonsense."
Joel stares at Martyn. His throat is dry. "What?"
Martyn stares back. "Hey, I'm the mad dog this time," Martyn says. "You probably shouldn't be the one growling."
"Well then, you should stop saying stupid shit," Joel says.
"Stupid? Please. It's obvious everyone is cursed. Nothing to be done about it but to play into the--"
"NO ONE IS BLUMIN' CURSED," Joel shouts, his vision suddenly red and blurry in a way it shouldn't be when he's still on yellow. "NO ONE IS BLUMIN' CURSED. THERE'S NO SUCH THING! YOU'RE JUST, JUST MAKIN' UP REASONS IT ISN'T ALL A TRAGEDY THAT EVERYONE I LOVE IS FUCKING DEAD, MAKING UP REASONS THAT IT--NO ONE IS CURSED! IT JUST HAPPENS! IT JUST HAPPENS! IT JUST FUCKING HAPPENS! AND WOULDN'T IT BE BLUMIN' NICE IF THERE WERE A HIGHER POWER BUT THERE ISN'T SO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT CURSES!"
He's panting. Martyn is staring at him. He stares back, a snarl on his teeth, the echoes of wolves and of grief, grief, grief, grief playing at the back of his throat.
"Joel?" Martyn says, hesitant.
"My wife is fucking dead. My best friend is fucking dead. One of my new possible best friends is fucking dead. Sorry about your husband, I guess? Get out."
"Bold thing to say to the guy who can kill--"
"I SAID GET OUT!"
Martyn stares at Joel a moment longer, and Joel finds he's not scared of the madness in his eyes at all.
Martyn leaves.
Joel realizes he's crying. The tears turn into giant, ugly sobs. Sorry everyone you love is dead. Sorry everyone you love is dead. Sorry everyone you love is dead.
"I blumin' hate caring about people," he says to no one at all through choked breaths, and he kicks a rock at the banner for good measure. It pokes a little hole through it and bounces off the dick-shaped tower behind it.
"Someone really should have made both of us a blumin' cake, they should," he says next, and he sits down until Pearl runs over, having heard the shouting. His face is red and his vision is still swimming. She stares at him, gathers him in her arms, and cries with him, and for the life of him, he doesn't know if that's any better.
#secret life smp#secret life spoilers#a bee fic#joel smallishbeans#martyn inthelittlewood#ONE MORE FOR THE ROAD THIS SESSION HAS INSPIRED ME TO WRITE APPARENTLY.#anyway the life series is a tragecomedy and everyone copes with that differently i think#i am trying to really CAPTURE the simultaneous tragic and comedic vibes here#anyway. opposing views on curses and causality in the face of grief huh?
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wrote out a whole thing about imagining as part of my writing process and how much of my first drafting is actually done internally but it sounded kind of obnoxious accidentally like “ummm guys well everything in my head is so vivid 👍” which i don’t think me experiencing writing in my head vividly is special it’s just what my brain does 👍 but anyway how much of a first draft is a first draft when i will write a passage in word but that passage has lived in my head for weeks sometimes months mostly written out because i will write out scenes in my head and just let them marinate up there and somehow I don’t forget it
#the memory thing actually scares me sometimes bc I was able to recall#10 month old RR structuring that I never wrote down#but anyways#I would say internal first drafting is mostly processing what I see in my head#though usually there will be one or two banger lines to centre the idea of the passage around#I have this with a beau and bobby paragraph i know exactly what the last line is and a general vibe for the rest#bc I know I needs to work with and build up to the last line#and when I actually write it fr that’s when i focus more on language structure rhythm etc#so if I’m struggling with those then the first draft session isn’t fun bc like I already did the imagining and discovery#and that’s why editing session by session on average is usually more enjoyable#but don’t underestimate the power of a beautiful first draft session….whether I’m working with nothing or an idea that has sat in my head#for weeks
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I don't know if y'all know how extensive my GIF searches are for my fanfics.
I will comb through different phrases for hours-
(I've found 'rick grimes beard' and 'rick grimes grin' have some QUALITY works. For my fellow rick girlies.)
#actually helps me get the vibes right for the writing session#but it is so much more extensive than it should be-#but I do get a little distracted 👀#grimey talks#writing updates#a peek into my rick grimes brainrot
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Also, I gotta say, because I did draft the results post in advance obviously, I DO fully understand how Sam's ad bits end up so absurd, like, the moment you commit to a bit you really just have to keep escalating, jesus christ.
#tbh has the same vibe as getting into character for dnd. like by the end of it I'm like#'who am I what kind of person am I why can't I shoot fire out of my hands what's happening'#like walking out of a theater but like you were also IN THE MOVIE#it's like the fucking. stun effect when haste wears off. WILD#anyway now that that's done lol I do actually have to write some notes and get prepped for feywild intrigue game tomorrow :3#which is gonna be fucking wild. I have a Lot of fear.#HE WAS WATCHING CALAMITY THIS WEEK 'IN PREPARATION FOR THIS SESSION' I AM DEEPLY AFRAID#HOWEVER Amana did go to the Coramar-Seelie school of wizardry and SOMEHOW MIGHT HAVE THE MOST HP OF HER PARTY? WHAT.#so she might be fine. she is also fully immortal. power of the fungus babeyyyy
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Chapter 8 - Undue Influence
Chapter 8 of Rope is out! Esme is in her head as always, and this time we get to see more of Carlisle's take on the mysteries unfolding :)
#this chapter took a weirdly small amount of time to write#i had one session where i wrote 3.5k in one sitting like what the hell#thats a lot for me lol#my writing#A Rope in Hand#carlisle cullen#esme cullen#carlesme#twilight fanfiction#mine#do people like chapter summaries? whats the consensus? Like i can go back and put them in :)#but also idk if they're really the vibe#yknow?#thank you all for ur patience as always
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@ k-pop loving mutuals: I’M HELPING ONE OF MY SIXTH-GOING-INTO-SEVENTH KIDS WRITE AN ESSAY ABOUT THE HISTORY OF K-POP!!!!
#today was our first session so she’s a completely new kid#it was SO sweet we started with the prompt of the history of music#but that was kind of broad so she asked if we could narrow it down#and i had a feeling i knew where this was going so i asked if she had any genre she wanted to write about specifically#and she very hesitantly and timidly suggested kpop#and i was like HELL YEAH LET’S GET IT#i was getting vibes that she had gotten not very warm receptions to liking kpop before!!!!#and i was like kiddo this is a safe space don’t worry!!!#WHAT DO I TALK ABOUT SHE LIKES STRAY KIDS IDK STRAY KIDS#sou says stuff
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NaNo post?? Anyone want a NaNo post?
*slinks into view* Okay so you guys know how I came in here a little while back with Wooded One? Forget all about that for now we have a new contender that appeared to me in a dream and hijacked my brain and decided it wanted to be my NaNo project (hilarious given I haven’t officially done NaNo since the site change)
so uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yea say hi to The Goddess’s Eye!
Someone was calling me. The air was alive with it, trembling with the ghost of words. Pulling me across the sand, guiding me over endless dunes and past vast, towering plateaus. Pulling and pulling and calling. It sang to me, an insistent tug that compelled me to move, to follow. It sounded so kind, so imploring.
I knew the voice, even before I could hear it. Recognized it on a deep inner level I didn’t understand but inherently resonated with. It was familiar. I knew the source, even though I couldn’t place it. And it knew me. It needed me.
“...child...my child...come...”
I jerked awake and nearly fell out of my perch, scrambling to right myself before I went crashing down to the jagged rocks below the tiny platform.
I’d fallen asleep in the middle of my watch. Careless.
Blinking and disoriented, I rubbed my eyes and peered around, dismayed to see it was already dark. I knew right away I’d managed to sleep through the first hour of night—the safest hour—and to top it off I’d lost sight of my quarry.
Grumbling, I peeked out from under my sun cover and switched to night vision. That was precious time lost, time I’d now need to spend finding and getting to my target before other animals arrived. I wasn’t looking forward to wrestling a night boar—again—for chunks of cacti.
So yeah this is what I’ll be (hopefully) working on next month! If we get anywhere good I’ll share a few juicy bits here~ Until then wish me luck (this project is approx....3 weeks old hAHA) and also good luck to all of your writing efforts!!
#writing#nanowrimo#rai writes#The Goddess's Eye#who's down for a weird pseudo-scifi desert WIP?????#apparently I am!! it's taken me hostage in my own writing docs#going for a kinda cheese 90s-ish action movie vibe here a la Fifth Element and Resident Evil and Aeon Flux and Mad Max XD#maybe a sprinkling of Waterworld#all those good apocalypse films ground up and pressed into whatever Rara has going on#lets see what we end up with#im sorry Wooded One I love you but you are FIGHTING me babe#rara showed up and gave me like 12k in a week and a half and thats almost more than you've given me in A YEAR#you wanna get written you need to play fair and show up to writing sessions lol
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RAHHH JENSEN AND LIAYH COVERING STEVE LACY
#no okay wait wait i gotta write this fic#theyre both huge fans and whenever theyre together they have jam sessions#so i can absolutely see them doing this for fun#but liyah posts it to her yt for funsies#and it absolutely blows up omfg#wait okay im so excited avout this bc theyd have so much fun#or maybe i should draw it????#idk but i need it to happen#im specifically thinking dark red just bc 1 vibes and 2 its popular enough that itd probs blow up yk#anyway feel free to ask more avout this bc brain go brrr for this one#jensen valentine#aliyah
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drove my mom to the ER.
#that’s it that’s the text post#no pity or condolences pls#just… felt like I needed to post this. to say something instead of just reblogging shit#not sure it’s necessary…. it’s not… but I dunno maybe I just think my life is so important I need to post vaguely about it#also canceled my therapy appointment for tomorrow because fuck it let the psychic trauma fester#didn’t go last weak but I had a decent reason. I suppose ‘being with sick mother’ is also a decent reason#I just kinda dread seeing my therapist now#funny how he went from cool dude to another person I’m afraid to disappoint in one session#anyway I’ve been in this hospital for about 5 hrs now and it sounds like it’ll be an overnight thing#very sad stuff#but also I hate ‘I’m so sorry’ messages#I know they mean well and I know I’m basically inviting them but let’s like… not do that dance okay?#let’s just keep it loose#band on the sinking titanic vibes#anyway… this is my little injection of my personal life before going off to reblog softcore shit hours later#I didn’t mean to write all of this but it seems I can’t be vague to save my life#you can ignore this#text
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For the 70s/80s music ask game, ‘Let’s Dance’ for anyone, for no reason other than my favorite musician wrote that song (is that the correct way to say that??? I’m new to music small talk. And music that isn’t just video game OSTs in general. And will that opinion have me judged? Sorry if I’m being awkward,)
~stars-n-freckles45
OOOO David Bowie goes BRRR <33 Dw about being awkward, music small talk (for me at least) either goes "this song made me cry you should listen to it", "this reminds me of you/your OC(s)", or "you just unlocked a memory about music and I'm gonna go down a rabbithole about it" so shghsg- Also!! Video game OSTs are so fucking good dude like.....omge. ANYWHO ANYWHO, I answered this with Iceberg bc I'm melting from brainrot to the point of no return <3
David Bowie - Let’s Dance: Are there any songs you’ve picked up from your F/O or their media, or because they remind you of them?
One song that reminds me of him for no reason is "Touch-Tone Telephone" by Lemon Demon. There's no reason, I just think it fits :]
Onto the songs that I can go and ramble about-
"Cold Cold Cold" by Cage The Elephant reminds me of him. Considering that he is literally Cold™️. I feel like he'd scream this song in his car before going into work.......
"Some Rotten Man" by The Taxpayers but it's in an angst way,,,like. Hang on I need a specific lyric-
"Some rotten man. Nobody's savior. Your oldest friend" LIKE I can literally picture him saying those to me. "Some rotten man" in passing conversation. "Nobody's savior" after something Goes Wrong At Work™️. "Your oldest friend" whispered in the dark when he thinks I'm asleep.
"Mary On A Cross" by Ghost because like.......he's got some Abnormal Thing about him (his body temp is like....19.4° F) and my self insert has some Abnormal Thing about them (their eyes are glitchy! Like when they're confused their eyes show a literal bluescreen)!! SO THE "your beauty never ever scared me" HITS SO HARD............
"Hayloft II (Burning Barn Acoustic)" by Mother Mother is another and it's specifically the Acoustic bc that one itches my brain so hard. There's something about it that carries his Unhinged yet Contained energy so perfectly.
There's so many more but at the rate I'm going I'll never end this MSGHSHGHH..........
#🧫; puzzle pieces#self ship asks#self ship ask answered#sorry for me taking a bit to answer my brain refused to comprehend the question#also yesterday my family got our grandparent's cat to cat-sit while they're out of state so yeah!#anyway iceberg my love my babygirl my fucking........mmmsgshm#i really need to write the Lore about him and my self insert#i've just been too lazy to write up s/i lore :( which is sad bc i love doing that#maybe I'll do it tomorrow before/after/during my d&d session#ANYWAY............#i listened to touch tone telephone recently and i was like. 'yeah this is an iceberg song. anyway'#it's also just an overall SCP-vibes song so maybe that's why but.#also related; he likes lemon demon bc i said so#he hasn't heard two trucks. yet.#:) anyway
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it’s 5am, today I get to do something that happens only once every two years in my household, I am currently craving poke but haven’t had one in 8 months, never had boba in my life, I’m eating crackers wishing it was something else, and I look like this:
seems like the perfect time to write 💅🏻
#silky niki#sneaky niki#lamb loose liveblogging#so the vibes are very confusing today as u can see but mostly they revolve around food#I really want HDS to bring SDY some jajangmyeon ;-;#but I think it would be terrible for SDY’s health as it is#which is probably exactly why HDS would bring it to him#also SDY is still in his ‘I may be a failed athlete but I’m still one at heart and my body is a temple’ mentality#(his body is in ruins tho)#so maybe he would refuse to eat it#bc it’s greasy#god that sounds delicious#ok no these crackers aren’t doing it for me apparently#I can’t project to this point now can I#can I 👀#ok writing session starts in 15 mins#first I need some soda to get this migraine to fuck off#tendinitis is flaring up since yesterday too#what a mess
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oh snappppppppppp
#that's always fun to type lol#this week was pretty busy but i carved out two days to do some marathon writing sessions#and this final chapter clocked in at 16k words lmao i thought it would be the shortest one#you'd think i would know better by now lol#anyways HEAVY editing is required lol so i won't be posting it tomorrow#and honestly i probably wouldn't have anyways lol tomorrow is going to be a WHOLE VIBE i'm getting into finale mode#i'll probably post tuesday evening for one last (😭😭😭) bcs tuesday </3#(also i have some significant howard/cheryl lore in this last chapter)#(and if the finale drops any new info that makes it impossible i have to cut like 4k words lmao)#(in which case i'll FIGURE SOMETHING OUT and post wednesday instead)#(just out here living life on the edge you know how it is)#🙏🙏🙏 <- mini howards manifesting that no retconning will be necessary#shares
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I want to be a better DM and story teller unfortunetly i am King Clown with a remarkably poor grasp of the english language
#u know how some ppl have the super power of being able to use the exact right words for whatever situation?#i am the opposite of that#idk how to describe it but i have a knack for forgetting words right when i need them#like i know there is a word to describe what i mean but i just cant reach it in the moment#infuriating and i dont think its something i can fix#players r u recieving my psychic brain waves that transmit the exact vibe of the scene i am attempting to lay out before you#also i will write outlines for my sessions and then miss points bc i get nervous and the words all run together into garbled mess#n afterwords ill look back through n realize i forgot to relay important info
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The major one besides the cueball-headed guy, or the major one IS the cueball-headed guy? Fr, tho, I doubt Beta Trolls would've done anywhere near as good if they weren't raised on murder paradise Alternia, where knowing how to fight and adapt to the situation was very much life or death matter. Given how much personal drama they've had? Without that world setting their priorities straight, things would've likely ended up differently ✨️
Ngl I completely forgot about him again \/\/\/
#catman asks#god damn doc scratch#I think we're giving alternia too much credit here#doc scratch did a lot of manipulation that helped result in their Drama#and alternia very much encouraged that the drama be Dealt with with Fights to the Death#they didn't really Play sgrub either; they mostly just killed shit to try to bypass having to play it at all#the only one that was really trying to play was tavros and vriska stopped that dead in its tracks#(and then aradia did some revenge kiiling)#and then their whole thing with jack and the black queen#i was referring to karkat actually#not that he was perfect; but he did a pretty good job of keeping everyone alive and Generally doing what they needed to (with exceptions)#hardly perfect but I'd say pretty good with leading (tantrums aside)#but more point was that he's a much stronger blood player#and thus was better able to utilize The Power Of Friendship#reminder that if Jack hadn't appeared in their session; they we're literally Winning at that Moment#but with that; i feel like (and this is probably due to the writing quality) the betas all rep their titles better than the alphas#maybe they embraced it more; maybe that's Just What Happened; maybe no thought was given to it at all idk#but that's my vibe; you feel me?#the most alternia did was make everyone more aggressive (which was Meenah's approach)#and that just happens to work out for you when your approach is The Best Defense Is The Best Offense
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Quick Dema/Clancy inspired sketch and mini fic.
This is a lot of how imagine the torture in Dema, by Keons and the less physically violent Bishops especially.
The first time Clancy is taken to the Tower of Silence he doesn’t know what to expect. He is chained to the wall in a room with the only source of light as the vials. He spends his first day in terror of what may be coming. He cannot sleep with the vials searing into his mind, even when his eyes are closed.
He doesn’t know how many days pass. He doesn’t feel hungry, he doesn’t remember how to feel. Why did he make such a stupid mistake as to end up here? What did he think he was accomplishing? Who did he think he was helping?
He pulls against the chains to break the vials, to get out, and only succeeds in bruising his wrists.
Tyler tells him his letters failed to help anyone, and put the Banditos in more danger. Josh comes with the Banditos to rescue him, but turns away from releasing him. “You’re just not worth the effort,” he says, “We only have so much time and we have to prioritize”. Josh leaves and Keons is there, slamming him against the wall.
Clancy slams his head against the wall, trying to make the voices stop. He screams to no one, begging for forgiveness. He pulls against the chains until his wrist shatters, blood running down his arms in parallel to his tears.
The door opens to a silhouetted red figure, and all Clancy can do is kneel to the ground as far as the chains allow, and numbly recite the tenets of Dema. Every time he blinks the room shifts, people enter and people leave. There are hands on him, and then nothing. The room shifts into a hallway, then into a door, then into the outside.
The outside.
Clancy is heedless of the polluted air of Dema, the oppressive smog and lack of stars. He breaths for the first time in two weeks. His hands are shaking but it’s the only thing he can be sure is real. Is truly happening.
He barely stumbles back to his apartment. His hand on the door, and it takes everything he has to open it and step back into the dark.
Tyler would tell him he needs to eat, then provided bland food he could keep down. Josh would’ve guided him to a chair, then cleaned and bandaged his wrists. Clancy braces himself not to flinch from the echo of his friend’s voices in his head. Their voices used to comfort him.
He makes it as far as the bathroom before he collapses against the sink, staring at his own shattered reflection, too exhausted and numb to cry.
Assured in the realization that Keons had fundamentally broken something in him.
#this is really really rough draft#just a quick sketch with a quick mini fic since i was feeling inspired tonight#don’t judge this too harshly lol#i might delete this later who knows#theoretically i’ll actually post the writing i put effort into one day#but this is stressful enough so who knows#mmmmm very doubt and polarize vibes tonight#twenty one pilots#clique art#my art#introspection is the name of this session
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