#there's some good stuff coming if I do say so myself
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Embracing opportunitues | Lotte Wubben-Moy x Arsenal!Reader
Where you're overworking yourself to earn a spot in the starting eleven
Woso masterlist | Words: 1.1k
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You hadn't realised how late it had gotten until the floodlights surrounding the pitch turned on engulfing the field with bright lights. “Shit.” You mutter under your breath, and start packing your stuff immediately.
While Leah had been out on injury you had started almost every game, but ever since she had made her comeback, you were back to starting out on the bench. Of course, you were overjoyed for Leah to be back from the horrible injury she suffered from, but you couldn't help the sinking feeling in your chest every time after that your name was no longer amongst the starting eleven.
That is why you had been training more and more outside of your regular team training sessions. Running drill after drill, to perfect your form, and build your stamina. You were doing everything in your power to better yourself. Anything to give you a leg up, and to prove to your coaches that you deserved a starting position.
“You were out late again.” Lotte's voice comes from the kitchen. You can’t quite place her tone, so you drop your bag in the hallway and rush into the kitchen to apologise to her. “Love, I am so sorry, I totally lost track of time. I didn't mean to stay out so late.”
Lotte stops your rambling by placing her hands on your shoulders. “Baby, relax, it's fine.” She brings you in for a hug and you relax into her arms. “How about you go take a shower, and I'll have dinner ready once you're done?” You thank her with a kiss, before quickly making your way to the bathroom, not wanting to delay dinner even longer.
Your girlfriend knew how you were feeling and tried her best to support you in everything. She even trained with you some of the days you were training extra. Recently she had gone through a similar situation with her national team. After years of hard work she finally earned herself a starting position with the Lionesses. You had been so proud of her, she deserved that spot on the field, and that wasn't just you being biassed. She was an amazing defender, one you would add to your team any time someone asked you to build a team.
The quick shower did you good. You got dressed in a pair of sweats and a hoodie from Lotte. When you head downstairs, you’re immediately met with the most amazing smell coming from the kitchen. “Oh love, you’ve outdone yourself. It smells incredible.” You peck her shoulder a couple times as you hug her from the back while she’s washing up the dishes and utensils that she used.
The soft moment between the two of you gets interrupted by the loud ringing of your phone. You take the device out of your pocket and see Jonas’s name on the screen. “It’s Jonas, I’ve got to take this really quickly.” Lotte nods, “Take your time, love, dinner needs another 10 minutes anyways.”
“Hi Jonas, I'm alright, thank you. How are you?” For the rest of the conversations Lotte hears you hum and say okay a couple of times, but it's still unclear to her what the call was about. “Alright, thank you. I will let you know tonight.”
You slowly pocket your phone again. With furrowed brows you turn back to Lotte, you were trying to process the offer that Jonas just gave you by speaking your thoughts out loud. “He just asked me if I wanted to play in midfield while Lia is out, and Kyra can't play for a couple games.”
Lotte nods, “And what do you think?” she asks, careful not to assume your feelings. “I don't know Lot. I'm a defender. I've been training my whole life to be a defender, how am I supposed to prove myself if I don't even get to play in my own position.”
Lotte reaches out and takes your hand in hers. “Sometimes, opportunities come in unexpected forms. You are an amazing footballer, and I don't think that is limited to defending. You're always moving forwards on the pitch, trying to work the flanks. I think you spend more time in the midfield than you think already. I would say embrace the opportunity and show them what you can do in that position. Make the position your own, and show them that having you in that position is something the team needs.”
You took a step towards Lotte, who instantly wrapped her arms around you. “You always know what to say, and you're so good with your words. What did I do to deserve you?” Your girlfriend chuckles lightly, “You didn't have to do anything but be yourself, and I try.” She keeps holding you until the oven dings, letting you know that dinner is ready. She kisses your forehead before stepping away to get the lasagne she made out of the oven.
“Alright, eat up cause you’ve been training hard.” She puts some of the lasagne on your plate and you dig in instantly. “And a good cook, I’ve managed to get the whole package.” Lotte rolls her eyes jokingly. “It tastes amazing, baby, thank you for dinner.” While you loved a good joke, you would always show Lotte appreciation for the things that she did for you.
After dinner you called Jonas back, letting him know that you’d fill the spot in midfield. Lotte had convinced you that you should embrace the opportunity with both hands. You were determined to prove that you were more than just a defender. That you could be the versatile player to help the team. That you would be the difference that the team needed.
A couple months later, Lia was fully back from injury, and Kyra had been playing for a while again. You had been working hard, and actually finding the new position rather exciting.
You had sat down with Jonas and Kim, talking about your future at Arsenal. Kim was very pleased with the way you had stepped up, and wanted to discuss the option of you being a part of the midfield squad moving forwards.
After your meeting with them ended, you rushed to find Lotte. “How did the meeting go?” She asked the moment she saw you. “So... I’m going to be a regular starting midfielder!” Lotte’s face lit up at your words. What you had been working so hard towards was finally becoming a reality.
She steps towards you and wraps her arms around you, lifting you in the air. “I am so proud of you. All your hard work led you to this moment, baby. You did it!”
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#lotte wubben moy#lotte wubben moy x reader#lotte wubben moy imagine#arsenal wfc#arsenal wfc x reader#arsenal wfc imagine#awfc#awfc x reader#awfc imagine#lionesses#lionesses x reader#engwnt x reader#engwnt imagine#engwnt#woso#woso x reader#woso imagine#woso imagines
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Two idiots in love
A Theodore Nott imagine
I’m back! Apologies for my silence. Especially to the ones who’ve been sending me love, but I was really busy and barely had any time to open this app or my phone in general. I got this post and a few more coming in the next few days. I had a very productive evening and day so, yey me. Sending you lots of love! Happy readings!
— The request —
Plss do a Theodore fic where he tutors the reader in potions or something and he’s a bit rude but like sweet at the same time??? Idk like he thinks she really cute but can’t believe someone can be so dumb
— The writing —
Theodore was a quiet guy and not one to make a move on just any girl. Unless drunk, then he might end up in a bathroom with some equally wasted girl for a little make out, but actively searching for a girlfriend just seemed like so much work to Theo. He much rather just hang out with his friends and skip class to have a smoke.
However, this did not mean that he was immune to having a crush. Oh no, he had a crush and the worst case of crushing. He was constantly thinking about you and stealing glances whenever he could. It wasn’t on him, you were just too damn perfect. It was almost annoying Theodore how amazing you were.
“Hey, Theo mate. I have a question.” Enzo quips as he takes a seat opposite of Theodore and reaches for some toast. “No.” Theodore answers without looking up from his plate, making Mattheo and Blaise smirk, but Enzo isn’t fazed at all. “Fine. Your loss. I’ll just have to tutor (y/n) myself.” Theodore’s eyes shoot up to meet Enzo’s with a piercing look to determine whether his friend was bullshitting him or not. Enzo’s smile reveals his amusement but also that he was telling the truth. “She needs a tutor?” Theodore says with a calm voice, though there is an obvious hint of excitement in it. “Yes, apparently she blew her last potions test… like big time. And she’s so desperate to fix her grade she asked me to ask you, apparently ‘the smartest guy in class’ - her words not mine - to tutor her. I’m assuming you’re interested?” She thinks I’m the smartest guy in class. So she’s noticed me. She knows who I am. She knows I’m smart. That’s good. Really good. She knows me. “Theo?” Enzo askes breaking Theo’s train of thoughts. “Uhm-Yeah-I… I’ll think about it. If I have time. And stuff.” Blaise, Enzo and Mattheo stare Theodore with wide eyes. “Someone hit him.” Blaise finally speaks and Mattheo nods before raising his hand to smack Theo’s head. “If I have the time, bloody idiot.” Theodore pushes Matt’s hand away and narrows his eyes at Mattheo’s mockery and insult. “Just say you’ll do it.” Enzo urges and Theo looks at him for a second before nodding in agreement.
***
Pretty. Perfect. Potions-Peanut. Theo thought as he watched you screw up a simple brew for the third time, like he hadn’t just explained to you step by step how to do it. He was falling in love even more as you sighed and stared at your cauldron and back at your instructions. “I think I messed it up again.” Theodore chuckles at your sad and defeated expression. “You think?!” Theo jokes, but immediately worries that that might be a bit rude of him. “But uhm-do you know where it went wrong?” He asks and you focus on your instructions again in search of which step you screwed up. Your eyebrows knit together even more and Theodore can’t help but roll his eyes. “You really don’t have a clue what you’re doing, do you?” You drop your head a little. Great, I'm making a total fool of myself in front of Theodore Nott. Not only am I ruining my fantasy of ever having a chance with him, now he and his friends will be laughing at me for the rest of the year…
“You can’t be this dumb? Check again, you’ll find it.” Theo breaks the silence and your eyes meet his with a hesitant look, before quickly searching for an answer on the list of instructions. Yes, I just called her dumb. Good work, Theo. Theodore grits his teeth as his anger with himself grows. After a few seconds of you searching for how you screwed up your potion and Theodore searching for something right to say, you are the first to speak up. “I give up, I suck at potions.” You let the paper in your hands fall on the desk in front of you and turn to look at Theo who gives you a surprisingly sweet smile. “Yeah you do, but don’t worry your pretty little head about it. I’ll explain it again…and better this time.”
Your heart melts at his sweet voice and you feel your cheeks heat up. “You really don’t have to waste your whole evening explaining potions to me, I’m sure you have better things to do.” Theodore smirks at your blushed cheeks. “I’m sure I won’t be teaching you potions all night. At some point you’ll get it and successfully brew this… and then we can move on to more interesting subjects.” You look back at the papers on the desk and press your lips together to keep yourself from smiling like a love struck fool, while Theo's smug eyes scan your face with satisfaction. “Dumb, but so adorable.”
“What?” You look up at Theo and he looks absolutely horrified. “I didn’t mean to say that outloud.” He chuckles awkwardly and you can’t help but laugh. “I might be dumb, but you’re a first class idiot as well.” Theodore rolls his eyes, while an amused smile tugs on his lips. She’s right about that. I am an idiot. He reaches for the books on the desk, forcing his smile into a line. “Let’s just focus on potions.” You chuckle at his flusteredness. “Sure.”
Both flustered your glance over at one another only to catch the other one already staring. The potion might not have been right, but the chemistry definitely was.
***
“Sooo, how did the tutoring go?” Mattheo asks as he catches up with Theodore in the hallway. “Great.” Theodore answers, but avoids eye contact with his friend, making him suspicious. “Great? What does that mean, she understands the material now?” Theodore chuckles and his tongue darts in his mouth. “No, she still doesn’t get it. Which means she needs another session. So, it went great.” Theodore explained, unable to hide his happiness now that he gets to spend more time with you. Mattheo just shakes his head in amusement.
#slytherin#slytherin boys#theodore nott#theodore nott imagine#theodore nott x reader#papercorgiworldwritings
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[NSFW] Obey Me - fem!MC first time with Satan
m.list
TW: nsfw, first time sex, loss of virginity, swearing
Characters: Satana
Writer: ahegato
Context: The MC would probably be pretty nervous since it’s the first time and stuff like that. Idk I lost my virginity when I was like 17 and now I’m really old, so I barely remember it. I just recall worrying about the pain while also knowing it was common, that’s about it lol
You/your pronouns, so basically gender neutral, bUT MC will have female bits.
lucifer (cumming soon) | mammon | leviathan | satan (ur here) | asmodeus (cumming soon) | beelzebub (cumming soon) | belphegor (cumming soon) | diavolo (cumming soon) | barbatos (cumming soon) | simeon (cumming soon) | solomon (cumming soon)
SATAN:
he may seem put together, but he’s actually super nervous
but he’ll keep himself calm for you
you’re the one getting boinked, so it’s the least he could do
he does a lot of research to be sure that he’s ready and can properly lead you through it
“a-are you sure about this?”
ragey boy is so cute when he’s nervous I can’t-
his cheeks are red, his hands are sweaty, and good demon lord he’s actually struggling to speak
different from leviathan, however, he’ll still initiate stuff
just maybe not as confidently as say, lucifer, would
satan is a hopeless romantic, so he wants to be as close to you as possible
yet he also really wants to go rough with you
but he’s terrified he’ll get too into it and hurt you, so you’ll have to initiate it
scratch. his. back.
treat him like a scratching post, that’s how you get him going
r o u g h a s f
he’s not that big, but it’s still possible that you’ll be sore from how hard and deep he goes once you release the beast inside of him
cums so much
it took out so much energy that he’ll sleep for like 12 hours the next night
“I will admit that I’m a little worried that I’ll be too rough on you. Please promise me that you will speak up if you don’t like something.” Satan says, holding your hands in between his as he keeps his worried gaze on you.
“I promise, don’t worry about it,” you smile at him, leaning in to give him a quick peck on the cheek, which continues down his jaw, neck and finally stopping at his shoulder, making the avatar of wrath let out a light groan. Despite it being your first time, it was like you knew exactly how to get him going.
-
Satan curses under his breath as he enters you, trying to keep himself together for your sake, ignoring the way your insides hug him.
“Are you alright?” he gently asks when you hiss from the pain, and he tries not to show how concerned he actually is.
“Yeah, I think I just need a moment to adjust.” you respond, your eyes tightly squeezed shut.
“Of course, love,” he whispers in your ear, his hands on your shoulders and thumbs rubbing against the skin, hoping to give you some comfort while also giving you space in case you need it.
Once you give him the OK, he slowly begins to move, making sure to be gentle. Except it quickly becomes painfully slow, and you beg him to go faster and deeper, to which he hesitantly obliges.
He can’t deny that he loves the increase in speed and force, groaning and humming as your cavern envelops him. Although what he doesn’t want to show is that his rough side is threatening to come out. He’s afraid of bringing that into your very first time together, worried it might scare you or even hurt you, so he puts a lot of effort into trying to control himself. Try as he might, you can tell that he’s holding back, and you try to get him to give in.
“I... ngh... I don’t think I can...control myself...if I do,” his voice is shaky, barely able to get the words out.
Trying to take the matter into your own hands, you change the position slightly by wrapping your legs around him to pull him towards you. It causes him to hit you in a different spot, one that makes you see stars, and you press your nails into the skin on his back. He released a drawn out groan, and he thrusted into you even deeper.
Bingo!
You pretend to not notice, but when he starts moving again, you scrape your nails against his back, and hoo boy he loses control. He’s roughly rutting into you, releasing curses in between his quick breaths. He’s going absolutely wild and it’s so fucking good, which you of course let him know with moans of your own.
“You’re so-... ah, fuck... I’m getting close...” he growls into your ear.
He’ll cum with a low snarl and pull you closer so your bodies are pressed flush against each other.
Once he recovers, he’ll be a mix between embarrassed and surprised. Embarrassed that he lost control, surprised that you took him like a champ and begged for more.
✦ 30/11/2023 (Im so sorry lmao) - 14/05/2024 ✦ ahegato ✦
#headcanons#obey me#obey me headcanons#obey me shall we date#ahegato#smut#satan smut#satan#obey me satan#obey me smut#smut headcanons#x reader
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Happy #WebcomicDay!! :D
This year we're celebrating the process of making pages... so below the cut I've got a bunch of pictures sharing how I go about making pages of my evil post-apocalyptic workplace sitcom, Cargo!! :D
So! My process!!
Writing-> I think sometimes there's pressure to "write" your comic a certain way, I see people talking about script format and stuff a lot. That really doesn't work for me, though! I write my "first draft" script in short scenes on scrap paper, in whatever order they come to me. Sometimes a scene will just be one or two lines, and then a little description of what I want to happen in the rest of the scene.
Later I type the scene up, and write the "connective tissue" that fits between the disjointed scenes so they all flow together like they ought. I don't do page breaks or even character tag or action notes hahahaha I like it to be as BASIC as POSSIBLE so it's easy to edit. And since I'm the person drawing it I can almost always remember who's supposed to be saying what lmao
I edit a lot, but the most major editing is also probably the last bit... when I letter my pages usually I realize "they would never say that" and so I end up rephrasing everything. My art brain is sometimes waaaaay better at phrasing hahaha. Like you can see in the finished page for this script I rewrote like basically all of it, and actually went back to the original "sketch" script in a lot of places.
Thumbnailing-> my thumbs are really big, I draw them with markers on printer paper and keep them in a binder!! I like to thumb scenes in batches and I also usually write my dialogue on them, just so I can read through them before (and while) I draw to get a feel for how the pacing works. :)
youtube
Sketching-> OH sketching is also really hard for me! I don't have a good visual imagination so it's really important for me to make sure I have good references. Last year I was especially focusing on setting.
My comic is set in Florida. I'm lucky in that I used to live there and still go back to visit sometimes, so sometimes I can gather my own reference images! But more often I start on Google Maps or Zillow, trying to find buildings that have interesting features or the right kind of "look" for what I want. I'll also look up other interesting elements, my comic is set in a post-apocalypse and I'll research home gardening and things like that which people would probably have.
For example, in this set in chapter 7, I used Google Maps images, photo references of indoor hydroponic gardening, and like, 90's-00's hacker computer setups haha. Also my BFF Roomstyler.com, where you can make 3d house interiors haha!!
Lineart-> I LOVE lineart it is my favorite!!!! I sketch and ink two pages at a time, and it usually takes somewhere between 10-12 hours to do both steps.
I actually think my art looks best when it's just lineart... but I think my STORY is better with color, like it makes it clearer and easier to read and it has a better atmosphere HAHA.
Colors-> I think it usually takes me 4-6 hours to do 2 pages (I haven't timed myself as consistently as I time my lineart and sketching). I have a big file with small copies of my previous pages that I color drop from, and my characters are all flats only. The limited palette that I use is also really handy, it streamlines coloring a LOT.
Finishing Touches-> aka I steal mercilessly from my one true love, my internet home, the beautiful and blessed Wikimedia Commons
I put lots of overlay layers on my art! I like textures so having some strange little textures or pictures on things makes my art feel a lot more finished to me.
And finally my very most favorite ✨finishing touch✨ is the bright colored/patterned gutters that I use. Here are some of my favorites that I've made and used in the past!
And that's all!! I hope you guys have a very happy Webcomics Day and find lots and lots of wonderful new things to read!!!
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My thoughts on the Damien situation, from the POV of someone who’s relatively uninvolved with posting on social media:
As a newer fan of Smosh myself (I watched some videos in 2012, but haven’t really kept up since, and only started regularly watching the last year or so), I went through the backlog of content that they have because I enjoyed their more recent videos. Zayna, a newer Palestinian fan, did the same and found this joke in an old TNTL disappointing and wanted him to address it firsthand and make his stance clear.
For anyone saying Damien has already made it clear that he is in support of Palestine: it’s not a given that the fan who brought up the clip would have already known about Damien’s stance on Palestine. Yes, he’s talked about it in a couple of his streams and posted Insta stories about it, but a newer fan of Smosh, not necessarily Damien himself, wouldn’t know about those unless they were looking for it because they are:
temporary (IG stories only have a lifespan of 24 hours unless you take screenshots) or
a few minutes hidden under several hours of game streams on a separate platform (he talked about Palestine several months ago and has streamed a lot since, unless you know the specific Twitch stream and the timestamp when he talked about it or had clips of it, most casual fans wouldn’t know either)
In his defense, Damien himself has recently said that more fandom stuff has reached his timeline than he would like, so maybe he thinks more people know about his activism because of that. However, even if Zayna did know, wanting a straightforward statement apologizing for the insensitive joke (because bringing up the "Israeli-Palestinian conflict" [as it was called back in 2019, not accurate to what has been going on for 70+ years and counting, which is an ethnic cleansing] for shock value, as he himself said, is insensitive) is not an unreasonable request.
More under the cut
When all you have is 240 characters per reply, the things that you do choose to say matter even more. When you parse out everything in Damien's replies, he doesn't come out looking too good. Yes, he did apologize for the original joke. In his replies, he said:
using it as shock value was in poor taste and naive of him,
it was in poor taste back in 2019 and he wouldn't make it now
(in response to his first couple of replies) he is sorry for reacting in frustration and he'll learn from it,
and, in his final reply, his parting words were "With all my heart, I hope for safety for your loved ones. Be well."
However, he also says and does things that undermine his apology in the same replies:
questioning why the clip was brought up in the first place, as if bringing up old content wasn't something fans regularly do with things they're interested about and as if it's not still a public video fans can easily find,
bringing up that the fan in question had 19K followers, a fraction of the followers he has as a public figure,
saying that this conversation could have been done in private, as if an initial DM request wouldn't be buried in his other requests as a public figure, and as if he doesn't have the capability to start a DM himself to clarify things after the initial reply/post,
saying that the original tweets tagging him should have been deleted after his first response when he never asked for that, and just assumed it would happen for some reason,
deleting his replies a couple of hours later,
and blocking Zayna and several others who were only interacting with Damien through quote tweets (I'm not sure how quote tweets work, do they notify the OP?), some who don't even say anything remotely critical of him - in his defense, blocking is not inherently a bad thing, it just means that he doesn't want any further interactions from them for whatever reason. However, silencing any Palestinian voice isn't good, to say the least.
Damien has always been a proponent of “trying to understand and see from different perspectives” so his response here surprised me, personally. I get that he has a fear of being misunderstood, but jumping to the conclusion that the other party is purposefully trying to be incendiary is the opposite of that.
I'm not going to try to make excuses for him. He knows better. He's been a content creator for years. He knows he has more influence than any normal fan would. His autism is not a part of this conversation either. Mental illness is an explanation for behavior, it doesn't absolve you of the consequences of it. If you're citing Damien's autism as an excuse for his behavior, you have to also account for Zayna's autism.
People are also bringing up the possibility of Damien getting death threats as a result of this, which we have no proof of and won't have proof of unless Damien himself decides to disclose that. He has only stated that he is taking a social media break, which has been a long time coming, not necessarily only because of this, because he has been busy and tired in recent months. What we do know has happened is that Zayna has received death threats (weird of people to want the death of a Palestinian when the original argument they're defending Damien for is that he is in support of Palestinian liberation).
This isn’t an issue of cancel culture, it’s an issue of accountability and frankly, hero worship of Damien in the part of people attacking Zayna and other people on Twitter.
When the only people who had spoken about their support of Palestine in their own words, however briefly, are two or three cast members, some people are naturally going to put them on pedestals. This hero worship of Damien has been exacerbated by his image as the most politically correct member of Smosh, and Smosh’s (until recently) silence about the issue.
While we're at it, for people saying Smosh's sudden outward support for Palestine and joining Creators for Palestine is in response to backlash about Damien, or only in response to the block list going around:
It's only been a few days since the Damien's whole ordeal. Smosh is not that fast, and historically, their response to backlash would have been either complete radio silence or unlisting or privating the TNTL that the clip is from, combined with silence.
I’m sure Shayne, Ian and Courtney have been working on it for more than a few days, based on their liked posts, to get everything straightened out with the organization themselves and adding their names to the list of creators.
People have been asking for Smosh to be more public about their views on Palestine. Some of the cast members have said their piece on their personal social media, but their views could have changed. Those posts were made shortly after the events of October 7 brought even more media attention on Palestine and the Gaza Strip, which was not necessarily in favor of Palestine because of the effects of U.S. propaganda. It's been several months since then and people have a lot more information now, and more clarity.
Up until now, the only indication of Palestinian support not from social media is a brief statement from Ian who said something along the lines of "travel watermelon", while they were talking about their rejected roasts during Anthony's Funeral After Show in December, which are codewords that were used in TikTok for Free Palestine. However, this is heavily censored, behind a paywall, and temporary, because of the nature of their live shows. This support of CFP is the bare minimum of what Smosh could do, but the bare minimum is more than they were doing before.
They listed Smosh as the name under their $15,000 donation to CFP, not just Shayne, Courtney and Ian, which could be intentional, referring to Smosh as a whole company, or just referring to the three that have posted about it as a collective. Unless Smosh makes a full statement about it, themselves, it's still up in the air.
The timing of it is unfortunate. Damien has been silent about it so far, making his original posts about Palestine seem performative to some. However, it’s only been a few hours and he is on a social media break. The only thing he has briefly gone back online for is to promote something he's doing with Nintendo, which he could have been contractually obligated to do. He may or may not say something when he fully comes back from his social media break, but for now, that's everything we know. People can make their own conclusions based on all of this.
I am being very intentional with every single word I say on here, as to not be misconstrued in any way, however, if I missed anything or anyone else has anything to add (constructively, like images of either the actual conversation had by Damien and Zayna, or the cast and crew's support of Palestine prior to CFP, not outright anger and disagreement), please do. If anyone has any genuine questions about the situation, please feel free to message me directly and not bring it into this post, which is supposed to be a civil discussion surrounding more facts and events, less speculation. If I feel those questions have relevant points to add on here, I will add on in reblogs.
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Tomura showing a rare vulnerability after comforting, or at least trying to comfort you about your insecurities <3
He was passing by your room to get some water when he heard sobbing, walking in and finding you laying in your bed, covered by your blanket up to your head. "You crying?" He rasped, seemingly unbothered by it, just curious.
You snap your head up, eyes widening slightly at seeing Shigaraki stand in front or your bed, nonchalantly staring you down. "No.. I'm not, I'm okay" you stated, wiping away your tears and knowing he wouldn't care about your reasons anyway. He never did, not when you were displaying any kind of emotions that were irritating for him, to say the least.
"I'm not blind. Neither dumb." He mutters, kneeling down to get a better look at your teary, puffy eyes. "Why are you crying?"
You blinked at him in confusion, the fact that he insisted on details unusual to his coldness. With a sigh, you decide to give in and justify your tears "I was... feeling insecure.." you mumbled, eyes looking away from his.
"Of what? Go on, finish your thought" he urged you on, gaze intensely focused on you, crimson eyes making you feel intimidated.
"Of my looks.. I'm not pretty enough, never am." You felt tears gathering up in your eyes once again as the words slipped past your lips, feeling utterly unworthy of anyone's attention or love. "I don't have a model face... my body's ugly, nothing is special about my looks-"
"Dumbass..." Shigaraki scoffed, standing up only to sit right beside you on the bed, pulling you up by your wrist forcefully and wrapping his arms around you, making you melt at his touch and gasp in surprise.
"I'm not good at this stuff, you know it perfectly. Yet you still make me have to comfort you because you're too naive to see past banalities..." His voice rumbled through his chest, fingers tracing through your hair unexpectedly softly. "You're pretty, I think you're pretty."
"So... don't cry, please" he adds, quiet plea warming your heart up, hands clinging to his body with eagerness while you nuzzled your face in his strong chest, feeling it raise up and fall down with each of his breaths "you know I mean it when I say something like this"
"...m'kay.. I won't" you sighed softly as you calmed down, wiping away any remaining tears as you stared into his eyes adoringly. "How come someone who wishes to destroy the world is able of being so gentle and wholesome..?"
"You bring out a softer side of me..." He leans in, pressing his lip against your forehead as he whispers into your ear "You make me vulnerable... and I'm not used to that..."
"Are you scared of that?.." you asked softly, looking up at him as your fingers trace patters on the back of his waist.
"...a little" he replies after a silent moment "I hate how vulnerable you make me feel... you have a way of making me forget myself... forget my mission. forget my hatred... forget the world..."
"And sometimes it terrifies me" his confession thickened the air, Shigaraki becoming visually awkward and tense despite admitting some of his most sensitive fears himself.
You lean in to kiss his cheek, brushing a strand of hair out of his face and simply holding his gaze with care, heart longing to make him feel loved "you know I love you, Tenko"
His arms tighten up around your waist at your words and he buries his face in the crook of your neck "Don't say that.. I don't do the whole 'love thing', you're aware of that"
And yet his words sounded way too bare, way too raw with the emotion pooling admist his denial of your feelings. "I don't want to feel that disgust with myself, don't want to end up hurting you with how harsh I can be."
You smile warmly at his words "I won't leave, if that's what you're talking about... I'll never leave, no matter how you treat me, I'll always stay here, because I love you, and I can't bring myself to leave your side." you whispered, carding fingers through his hair and gently caressing his scalp.
"And that's exactly why I'm afraid to love you..." he tightens his fingers around your waist "because if I end up losing you, my life will crumble to nothing but destruction, becoming dull again."
"Who knew you'd be such a gentle, sweet boy underneath that cruel facade you're always with on..." you mumbled, smiling against his shoulder, placing soft kisses on his dry skin "does it hurt when I touch you there, baby?" You muttered, careful with the itchy and dry skin of his neck.
He squirms slightly as you kiss his neck, his head rolling around slightly as he presses his forehead against your shoulder. "The fact that you think I actually have a kind side is laughable," his voice is thick with emotion.
His hand travels slightly down your waist and up, coming close to your hip. "As for your question, yes... yes it hurts, but it hurts so good,"' he whispers, his voice soft and tender.
"Sorry... didn't wanna make it hurt, handsome.." you said softly, lips moving to his jawline instead, tongue slowly dragging alongside on it, moaning against his skin as your kisses got hungrier, needier. "And you think you dont..? Have a kind side?" You mumbled, not minding the thought, only finding it hotter.
His body shivers at your kisses, eyes rolling back and lips parting slightly "God... I hate how much you crave my touch, I hate how much you want me and I hate the way your love makes me so soft." He grunts, voice getting raspy "Damn you for bringing this out of me"
"Can't help it" you say between sucking and lapping at his skin "I love you too much" your kisses trail down further to his throat, to his shoulders, to his chest and make his skin tingle with goosebumps.
Shigaraki groans, sighing heavily "gods damn you... gods damn you, you make me weak" a soft moan escapes him in the heat of the moment, and you cradle closer to him, indulging in the rare opportunity of seeing him like this, savoring each taste of it.
#tomura x reader#x reader#anime#mha tomura#shigaraki x reader#shigaraki tomura#bnha shigaraki#shigaraki fluff#fluff#suggestive#mha shigaraki#shigaraki tomura x reader#mha fluff#mha x reader
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One of the arguments about any sort of long-running media franchises/series, that almost always instantly raises my guard and calls into suspicion anything else the person making that argument has to say, is "the older stuff was better and everything after X point has been worthless dogshit with no redeeming value."
It's not like this is an alien perspective to me, either. I've been there, I get it. Where My Little Pony is concerned, I think I will always be at least a little bit of a seasonwunner, despite my best efforts. But this is a mindset that must be actively fought back against, and even if I can't really bring myself to watch the last few seasons, I recognize it's not that the show got worse, it just had different priorities there than what appealed to me about it originally.
And sure, sometimes stuff does just objectively shit the bed after a certain point. But honestly, I think that happens most when a series stops trying to explore new ideas, and falls back on shallow pandering fanservice about the earlier beloved entries. Looking at you, Rise Of Skywalker.
So point is, I do get where the mindset comes from, but it's still an extremely toxic impulse that I think needs to be confronted and dismantled with maturity and perspective. And talking with people who have failed to do that, and don't seem remotely interested in trying, is my personal hell.
But probably the most baffling instances of this mindset are when someone is like "everything before this point was good and everything after this point is bad!!!" but the actual argument makes no sense. Everything you say you hate didn't start after this arbitrary point, it started with the ones you uphold as the best in the series. If instance Y and Z are apparently utterly dogshit writing, why are you giving it a pass with instances W and X? It isn't even the repetition or differences in execution that seems to be the problem, it's just that it was good because it was before this arbitrary cutoff point, but bad because it was after it! (One especially galling example of this hypocricy was where the cutoff point between the 'last good' entry and 'first bad' one was between two releases... that came out simultaneously. Make it make sense.) Or else just pretending that this thing you dislike started later than it did and outright ignoring its presence in those earlier entries.
Like yeah, you are entitled to your feelings, at the end of the day; like I said, I get it to some extent at least. But if you're going to try to argue your feelings as some sort of objective fact about the quality of the series, at least put together a coherent and internally consistent argument. Or else, really reexamine if the reasons you're giving are the actual reasons, and it's not just nostalgia talking. Maybe the older entries don't hold up to your particular sensibilities as much as you think. Or maybe, you're refusing to give the newer ones a fair shake and reading them in bad faith.
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End of the road. Oatscurry! (but like, fr this this time)
First of all:
Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Final translation for Charisma House has been posted! Woohoo! Yay! Good work me, clap clap clap, I'm soooo cool! Clap clap clap.
Anyway.
What a road this has been, yep yep. I already made some dramatic post when I quit the first time, and then an other when I came back, and honestly I forgot what I said in these, lol. But I will spare the theatrics, maybe.
Either way, what a long road it's been! One with ups and downs for sure, but definitely a rewarding one. Especially seeing how far my translations have reached people...! I'm still trying to process my impact, which honestly scares me, so I don't think I can ever truly comprehend it, but hey! That's how things are in life. It's not my quote, but something something about how we all carry things from each other that form us as people, no matter how big or small said pieces are (maybe I am making this up). If I was able to be a 'piece' of that through my translations, then I am more than satisified with what I did here.
After all, it is why I translate! To share what I love!
But that's the problem!
I love too many things!
That's right, I discovered something new I want to put all my time into, which comes with a sacrifice. But said sacrifice isn't only because of this. I am making the steps to pursue translating as a genuine career. I'm unsure how life will look like for me going forward, if I'll even have the time for translating season 3.
Which is why I will be stopping with translating Charisma House as a whole.
In order to not burn myself out from fantranslating too many things once again, and in order to also prioritize life stuff. Season 2 is my final contribution to you all.
Also, I'm more than happy enough to let official-kun take over, even if we have our personal grievances with the subtitles (or they are simply not as cool, witty, clever and funny as me <- for your information, I'm jesting.)
So yeah, that's all I had to say I think. I yapped enough. Of course, this isn't all you'll be seeing of me. If you're wondering about other corners of the internet I'm hanging out at, catch me at @82mitsu on here, or on Twitter. There I'm continuing my translator endeavors for 18TRIP! A mobage with a rather colorful cast of characters and interesting setting!
If you're wondering what I'm doing outside of translating, uh... I don't know, if you're playing FFXIV you can find me AFKing in Limsa somewhere, lol. I'm genuinely not that much of an interesting person, so I don't think you gotta know me outside of what I do.
As closure, I once again would love to repeat a quote I had first mentioned in my graduation post:
“The world is filled to the brim with nice things… and all of them are carrying someone’s intentions and feelings.
When those feelings get across and manage to make someone happy… I gain little pieces of confidence,
that I’ll gather together and carry with me as I move on.”
Thank you for reading all my translations.
Thank you for being able to find enjoyment in what I do.
Thank you for using the time of your day to get to know Charisma House through my work.
Thank you for all the kind messages I've received up until now.
Thank you for your patience.
But most importantly, thank you for getting into Charisma House.
OTSUKARISMA!
and one last time,
RIGHTEOUSNESS
IS
GLORIOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS
Ah, but do remember. I value a good, sweet translation that encapsulates everyone nicely. If official-kun's crimes are so, so bad, in Season 3...
I will be back, with pure vengeance.
I've mentioned it before, how the difference in translation interpretation has made me interested in this field to begin with.
What I never mentioned is that it was fueled by spite.
And we all know how that is the greatest motivator to mankind.
justicerikai, signing off! o7
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at this point i’ve established omega reader as her own entity because she’s such a complex character (in a positive way, i love it), whereas i’m an amalgamation of personalities i’ve copied and pasted off of other people. with that being said-
i LOVE how the story has progressed thus far, especially with how all of their personalities interact with the plot. they make the same mistakes over and over again— reader being too afraid to open up, price putting all else over himself even if it hurt him, kyle constantly feeling like he could be doing more but not knowing how to, and johnny doing his best to level out ghost’s temper while also being there for reader.
they’re going in circles, stepping on each other’s toes, stumbling back into square one over and over again because breaking out of habits isn’t easy, and changing for people you don’t know—for better or worse— isn’t that smiple. it’s messy and it’s painful, and you’ve captured that perfectly <3333
im so excited to see how far this story progresses🥰, AND THAT LAST CHAPTER LITERALLY HAD ME WANTING TO BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA SHEPHERD👹👹👹
- 💕🐠
Aww thank you, love!!! There's definitely a line to take a shot at Shepherd now lol, but I don't blame anyone, I would also like to hit that crusty man on his shiny head.
As much as I love pretending that relationships can be totally perfect and nothing bad ever happens, and I've definitely written some fics like that, it's just much more fun to explore the less glamorous sides of relationships too. The adjustment periods when you first get to know one another, learning each other's quirks and how to adapt to each other, as well as exploring each of their personalities. Especially in situations like this where it's not necessarily a relationship formed entirely by choice.
There's definitely some cyclical behaviors going on, especially with this set back. It'll be interesting to see how they move forward from here and what happens when things do inevitably come to light. (Well, it'll be interesting for all of you, I already know what happens lol)
I'm so glad you've been enjoying the fic, though!! That makes me happy to hear!! 💚
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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Sometimes I feel very sad that I didn’t just focus on one creative skill. I look at my art some days and go I wish I’d spent all my time making only that, because that way it would look better and I’d do more and it wouldn’t matter if I couldn’t write very well because my art would be amazing and I’d be able to make the stuff I really want to and maybe even get a job related to it and I wouldn’t feel like so much time was wasted. And often times it really does feel like you’re wasting time and everything is telling you to just pick something to focus on so it can mean something and you can never seem to pick one of anything.
And then other days I feel like an absolute GOD. Anyone else able to write your own fic and then draw art for it just because you can? Can you make an edit/amv after writing a silly little analysis post on the show/character that is so perfectly on beat and fits the lyrics and with transitions so slapping you get chills while watching? Can you write a short silly ditty on the guitar about how you’re feeling using the eight chords know and belt it out only a little bit off key then do a choppy little animation of your sona singing it?
I may not be the most skilled at all of the above, and it can be a little lonely to be a one man band who doesn’t play half as well as a lot of people out there, but when your power goes out or your wifi dies or you have a day off, everyone else is busy and you’re alone...
you play the best gosh dang music in existence
#knox rambles#feeling some kinda way lately o7#these kinda vibes come back every once in a while#just gotta remind myself that ten year old me would go insane over the fact I can do what i can do#even if I'm not the best out there I am sure the best me out there#and that's pretty cool#i may only know one strum pattern on guitar and half a dozen chords at best#i may not be very good with punctuation and grammar while writing and I reuse words too much#I may do my art all leaning a little to the left too much and proportioned weirdly#I may export my amv's wrong so they're not on beat or forget good audio that would have made it REALLY great#I may write analysis's that are a little biased and look back on them and cringe a bit#I may only be able to animate the simpliest and shortest things and then go months even years at a time without animating#I may struggle to do animatics for what feels like no reason even if i want to so badly#but I can do all that stuff#I can write i can read and I can draw I can play guitar a bit i can sing I can make animatics animations amv's#and wow that's pretty incredible if you ask me#rambling rambling zero thoughts head empty YEET HGSDFLKJSDF#creative insecurities#they always sneak up on you a bit hglksjdfsdf#pretty safe to say I wouldn't be a creative if I didn't feel inadequate every person to ever create usually feels some kinda way ghsdflk;jsd#lays down#woo#hoping I can get back into the swing of being creative#things been pretty rough at home but I miss making stuff#ANYWAY HOPE Y'ALLS HAVING A FIRE DAY
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i am too mentally exhausted to even deal with this shit anymore with my mom and grandma and low key wish i'd go comatose for a few years to be left alone tbh
#had a clean up service come by to see the damage and give a quote on the estimate and my grandma wasnt having it#she got upset and started crying to them about she has only 1 daughter and is trying to help her and they're trying to tell her that keepin#all that junk isn't gonna be helping anyone especially my mom but she wasn't getting it and i said i'm not helping clean the junk that's#all around the house cuz i'm tired of it all and having to manage my emotions since i am for sure emtotionally stunted from my childhood#and have to deal with a schitzophrenic mom and an absent sister who's balls deep in denial while i'm struggling to find a job here#and my grandma always stressing me ot saying she's gonna kick me out isn't fucking helping here at all like she thinks it does#so when they left she spent all day sobbing on the phone how i'm a terrible granddaughter who wants to throw out good stuff#when i'm not gonna keep helping sell shit for my mom cuz my sister can do it as her family contribution since she did nothing since dad die#and the thing is i gave them all options on clearing shit out cuz i know this family by now and shit doesn't get tossed but it migrates#cuz i said months ago i can ask some friends if they could come down and help sort and declutter#grandma said no to that and said she'll kick me out if i do it and she didn't want to pay for my mom's shit to get moved into a storage uni#she leaves the clean up to my mom and i think the backyard got worse but she didn't call anyone to throw out the junk like she threatened t#so i call a fucking hoarders clean up service cuz that's what my family is on my mom's side at this point and the city will be called too#and she has this reaction cries all day and calls everyone to say i'm horrible and yells at me saying i'm the one killing her with stress#when she's already been doing that for months to herself when i'm just tired and possibly mildly depressed or something idk#i barely leave my room and don't go outside except to walk my dog but idk cuz my family's attittude was we don't go to doctors cuz#cuz they're for crazy people but of course it's gotta switch up for my mom and no one else and i'm just sick of it all#grandma doesn't accept free help and she won't accept help that i pay for myself with my money set aside for school so i'm done#unlike her when i say i'll do something i stick to it so i'm not doing shit anymore unless i can call a friend to help with this mess#it's gonna sound like such a horrible thing but i can't wait for my family to die so i can live in a clean home again and get help#like deep serious help cleaning and big time grief councelling cuz i barely had time to process my dad's death and being the one to find hi#and that was just this february like god i am going to need so much fucking therapy in my future it's almost rediculous#and probably say screw my mom's side and visit my dad's side a lot more since they seem to be the normal ones in this shit family tree#at least they're not stupid and leave junk everywhere where one neighbour getting sick of not being able to sit outside and enjoy their yar#without mountains of junk staring them right in the face and landing a notice from the city to clean up especially since#we have chainlink fences and at least 7 neighbours can see the backyard and everyone can see the front porch when passing by#i'm just tired of living in these suffocating households and even wanna file a report myself to kick them into gear#its horrible living like this and no one should live surrounded by junk and things they never use or even garbage
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#man. nights are. Hard huh#Uhhh this is. Another vent post HEAVY trigger warnings for this one#honestly I wouldn't bother reading this nothing'll come of it good or bad so#don't worry about me ill be fine in the morning just need to. Scream into the void again#....again serious serious trigger warnings on this I'm too tired to say specifics but I know it'll be fucked so#Anyway#maybe Jade's right maybe I do need to see a therapist#she talked about some medication for anxiety and it's effects and what is like on and off the stuff#And......#........'waking up and going to bed on the verge of tears' vs 'not doing that'#sounds................#............christ. I...#I'm not suicidal I think I'd never actually follow through nor would I bother to self harm#None of that would solve anything for me and I'm too chicken to do it regardless#But.....#......i sure do think the words 'I wanna throw myself off a cliff' kind of a lot#killing myself is sounding less like a vague weird concept and more grounded in reality#hhhh#do I need to talk to someone about this? maybe#am I going to? probably not#is putting this on my public blog where I know there's a very good chance a bunch of people really close to me will see it a cry for help?#............................................................#i dunno#just know my chest hurts all the time and Im always a few seconds away from breaking down in tears at any given moment#and I just kind of want everything to stop#just stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop#wanna turn my brain off and just leave it like that#everything sucks and is hard and getting harder and despite being absolutely surrounded by love and support#I keep having these horrible low points and the high points feel further and further away#....anyway.....this is the last tag it'll let me do so. um. I'm sorry for whoever does read this... hope you're having a decent night
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every time i so much as think about that scene where light looks at porn magazines while scowling i go into hysterics its genuinely the funniest thing i've ever seen
#the funniest thing is is that i truly believe he thought he was being 100% convincing. that that's normal behavior for a completely straight#completely allosexual man#light is fucking awful and i hate him but also there's nuance to him. and sometimes i can get a little like. oh thinking about his life#before the series. specifically factoring in my headcanons about him being gay aroace and autistic and stuff. ppl have written some rlly#good fics surrounding those topics.... but yeah thats not even canon stuff but i dont care#anyways its not in a way of making excuses for how he is i just think it adds more to his character#hes total garbage but i think theres really interesting stuff with him when it comes to how he's.... VERY disconnected from others#just in general. he's like aware of how to act ''normal'' on like the most textbook surface level without being like. Aware enough to#be able to make it more convincing. and as ridiculous as it is i do see some of myself in him in that sense#also that person who said light and L is just autistic guy who's been masking his entire life vs autistic guy who's never masked in his#entire life. LITERALLY EXACTLY. genuinely perfect way to describe them they are both so similar when it comes to this#but the ways they go about it are very different. light has been playing the part of the perfect son his whole life. L doesnt try to change#himself for anyone and doesnt care when people think hes weird. both of them arent very socially aware and havent had any real friends#their whole lives. its such a fascinating parallel between them#i could go on a whole fucking thing about how light was pretending to be someone he's not around his family and at school and everything#long before he got the death note BUT. i wont. at least not right now#jesus christ how did i go from laughing about him with the magazine to this. my bad#derailed my own damn post. idk swagever#will say rq tho. watched a vid on youtube that pointed out how light expected his family to think nothing of the fact that he's gone to#such drastic measures to hide his diary when making the plan with hiding the death note which is like#that level of dedication would NOT be normal. so the fact that light expects his family to think nothing of it......#i mean you could read that as light just once again being socially unaware. but it could also imply that light's family kind of Knows#he's hiding something and just doesn't address it. (he's gay. im talking about him being gay)#the video also referenced this comic that i didnt rb cause the actual premise of it (lawlight wedding) is um.#not at all my kind of thing. BUT it was light describing himself as a house with a basement when his family sees him as a one story house#and i thought that was such a cool analogy#ANYWAYYYSSSS i need to go to bed. thanks if you read my ramblings#serena.txt#death note posting
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#I get tired of people trying to explain what lens I should view the world through; what way I could think that would make everything better#forgive me but I don't care; I do what I do and I do what I can and you don't see the work I do under the hood#I don't want advice on self validation or whatever; I want... I want someone to hold a mirror up so I can actually see myself#by which I mean I want input on how I'm doing; if it's good enough; if it's worth anything; if anything I make is good#everyone things I'm nice; everyone has always thought I'm nice#but given nice leaves me profoundly isolated I don't think I care#not to mention in my opinion what nice in this instance means is that I'm capable of listening#it's mostly that I have manners rather than some quality about me#I'm well behaved and polite and can listen; and that's perceived as nice or even sweet#and it's not like I'm offended by people seeing me that way; but maybe you can get why... I can't do anything with that information#but if I'm doing enough... if I provide any value to the world... I might have heard that less times in my life than years I've lived#that's where I'm totally blind#people don't tend to offer any input; and also people don't tend to let me know what they're thinking#and I in fact am not a mind reader; I can often accurately infer things; but no of that means a thing till it's confirmed#and... well... hopefully no one reads the stupid shit I say and especially not the tags so this is safe and hidden#but truthfully people just like to hear that stuff they're doing is wanted and matters#and I do not#I don't know... gotta go do more cleaning cause I need to#and I have no idea if... I've got a reason for fighting so hard to clean; but I get very little input so... I expect... well...#and thankfully I don't think they read my tags so I can say this#but I really expect they won't take me up on my offer to come out here and get away from their parents; so there will be no pay off#not that I blame them in the slightest... it's just the only possible pay off for this cleaning would be helping someone I like out#and a scrap of company#but then again... in many ways anyone coming out to live with me is the worst thing they could probably do#sorry... I have a rather bleak outlook on many things surrounding myself purely cause of what I infer from the past#there is never pay off; only more shit I need to get done#I will never be loved; I will never be wanted; I will always just kinda be an afterthought that's occasionally worth venting to#no one will ever be particularly interested in anything I'm interested while I'll chase their interests or at least try to#certainly let them talk about them when they want#...though I take that over my normal total isolation... better to at least be permitted to follow in someone's shadow than have nothing
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wanna hear a funny story about how i handle men who are just so full of themselves only because they are men?
#i was supposed to meet a coworker before a work meeting and he showed up where we were supposed to meet but he didn't check the whole room#he just peeped out from the door frame and i was working on my laptop so i didn't hear him and out of a sudden my phone rings and it's him#and he yells at me things like where the fuck are you where the hell have you been i've been looking for you everywhere you're supposed to#be here. so i told him i was there the whole time and he just should've come in instead of walking out so soon#but he kept being mad at me the whole meeting and he talked over me every time i talked and he'd even say stuff like#“you're so unreliable and cant be trusted. you forgot so many things to say. are you trying to put me in a bad light or what?”#in front of everyone (and everyone already hates me cuz im the youngest there and they think i dont deserve to be there)#and then he'd add random stuff we'd never ever discussed and he was coming up with just on the spot and wtf-#and then they all called me a slacker and a good-for-nothing#and when they were all agreeing i was a lazybones someone showed up at the door because they needed some help but nobody would help them#so i stood up and said “guess this lazybones wont have any more bones to pick at this meeting. gonna do something lazy and help them out”#and that's how i gave myself the right to leave the meeting:)#txt#txt post#cinnamon at work#ugh- men#*eye roll*#i hate working with JUST men
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