i have thoughts on reid x dilaudid that i feel like i’ve never seen anyone talk about before so im gonna share

spoilers for s2 ofc and cw for discussions of substance abuse

something im thinking abt right now is that presumably reid was not psychologically or physically dependent on dilaudid yet by the time he was rescued from tobias hankel. of course he was incredibly traumatized and im not saying i wouldn’t anticipate wanting relief from that if i were him, but he could have gone without the drugs. he CHOSE to take the vials from tobias when he left. so if you think about it we didn’t even see the turning point into his addiction—he had to make the choice AGAIN to shoot up at some later point. he obviously knows the statistics abt addiction and the opioid crisis. but we know he really was addicted eventually. so after tobias, he got home and looked at those vials and made that choice to shoot up again, fully aware of what he was doing and all the implications and potential consequences but he was just in that much pain.

like it makes me so so sad to think about how smart he is and how his vast intellect was not enough to stop him at any point in the pursuit of getting high and he was contending with that the whole time, aware that he should be “too smart” for what he’s doing. like he had to procure syringes, he had to consider what he was potentially sacrificing, all while he was completely lucid, and he still made a fully conscious decision that it was more valuable to get high.

or maybe he convinced himself he was just going to use them to wean himself off because it would take a major toll on your body to receive all those drugs in such a short time frame. maybe he thought he could slowly detox. which might be even sadder. or maybe he was lying to himself the whole time and knew he just wanted to give himself permission to get high again. idk.

regardless it’s really really sad to think about how much effort he had to put into doing something he knew was terrible for him and how he chose it again and again because that’s how much he was hurting. like that scene of him holding the bottles and looking in the mirror at work hits a lot harder when you realize his addiction was not something just happened to him. he can’t entirely shirk the blame. i can’t even imagine how much self loathing he would have had going on at that time

(also i am fully aware that addiction is an illness and in many regards not a choice at all, but im saying its not likely he was actually clinically diagnostically addicted to dilaudid by the time he was freed. in that sense, he did make choices which contributed to his addiction, and he had to live with that, which i think is really highlighted by him looking in the mirror like what the fuck have i done to myself)

anyways im so sad now😂😂😂😂!!!!!! this is one of my favorite plot lines it was done so dirty!!

ive been thinking a lot on the differences in how we view adulthood now vs back in roman times. on one hand yeah people came of age at a significantly younger age than they do now, legally speaking. but being an adult didn't mean the same thing to 1cenBC romans as it does to us. an adult was usually still under the power of a paterfamilias. idk ive been thinking about it bc as a teenager i was incredibly frustrated with my lack of agency and rights, esp cuz it seemed ridiculous in the historical perspective because usually people historically came of age in their mid teens. but now that im older and know more on how Rome functioned, its not as cut and dry as that. i was wondering if u had any thoughts on how the romans viewed adulthood?

What is adulthood, anyway?

Is it the right to make legal decisions for yourself? The 25-35% of Rome's population who were enslaved didn't have that. And as you pointed out, folks under the authority of a paterfamilias may have had limited or no legal independence. (They might have more independence in practice, though, as they got older, moved out or got married.)

Is an adult someone who works and provides for their family? Most Roman children worked, especially enslaved children. You watched and copied whatever your parents did, so you learned adult responsibilities fairly quickly. A 14-year-old Roman bride was expected to manage her husband's household, slaves, and often his finances and business - especially while he was off at war or trading. If needed, she would probably lean on her mother-in-law and other female relatives for guidance.

Is an adult someone who can legally and mentally consent to sex? Although many Romans thought sex with pre-adolescents was bad taste, the legal issue wasn't "Is this person old enough?" but "Has the body of a citizen, or a paterfamilias' dependent, been violated?" If you were a slave, or a girl married to a creep, you were out of luck.

Many cultures, including the ancient Romans, don't really consider "teenagers" a distinct age group. They're more likely to see teenagers as young adults, who might be more naive or irresponsible or in need of guidance due to inexperience, but functionally adults.

For Roman aristocratic men around 15-30 there's this odd tension, where they might be dismissed as overgrown boys or expected to act like mature men, depending on the speaker's perspective. In the Pro Caelio, Cicero asks us to give Caelius the benefit of the doubt for being only ~26 or so, as a father might indulge his son. But 20-year-old Julius Caesar had been entrusted with negotiating with a king, as ambassador to Bithynia. Nicolaus of Damascus tells us that well after being legally recognized as an adult, traipsing through a warzone, and becoming one of Caesar's staff, Octavian was still treated like a kid at home.

It may also be useful to scale our age range up: that 14-year-old girl was likely to outlive her husband, and probably had much more say in choosing her second and third marriages than her first. And as Roman marriages shifted from cum manu to sine manu, women became sui iuris (legally independent) at younger ages than before, because they only had to wait till their fathers died instead of their husbands. They could then own their own property, with some limits on how it was supposed to be used - unlike Victorian wives, whose property became their husbands'. So, when would we call a Roman woman an adult, and what do we mean by that?

You make a good point about modern teens being denied their rights, too. I think that's a more individualistic way of framing it than the Romans would have used - they put more emphasis on your duty to your family - but it is a real problem. "Protecting kids" usually translates into restricting what young people can do, but not teaching them how to stay safe, make good judgments, or get support. When they do ask for help, they're usually dismissed as whiny or lazy.

I'd love to see more mixed-age spaces where adults and teens can talk about their shared interests, or work on cool projects like volunteering together. I think that will help break down adults' stereotypes of teens and fears about "kids these days," and teens will probably feel a lot less overwhelmed by the future with older friends they could ask for advice. Plus, it would provide an escape for teens with abusive families. The animal shelter where my mother volunteers is like that, and it's been really neat to see her learning new things, and the younger folks coming out of their shells.

scenes i loved from Real Enough to Get Me Through by @marriedzukka <333 [ids in alt]

i just think a "friended/romanced + saved + trust aj" violet does such a good job rounding out the plot and characters of S4 and i dont say that lightly

she walls people off out of fear just like S3 clem did and learned to grow out of through the compassion of others. feeling like she could have done more to save minnie being what initially makes her step up to lead, but her accepting her love for clem (and clem choosing to save her) is what leads to her Truly accepting the school and everyone inside it as her Home and gives her something to fight for ("i tried my damnedest not to care about either of you. and i still couldnt tell you why." "i know where youre coming from. after losing so many people, sometimes its easier to keep everyone at arms length." "and then you wonder why you fight so hard to stay alive. i dont wonder anymore."). this being the reasoning behind violets detachment from the school, as well as a negative home life impacting her idea of what a home even was. but together they turn ericson from a prison into the home theyve BOTH been looking for, renaming it together, and envisioning it for the future together. the two of them understand each other deeply, from what theyve lost to how its affected them and the poor ways theyve decided to react to it. but through their support of the other, they BOTH get to evolve into more relaxed and confident versions of themselves, who know Exactly what theyre fighting for

her troubled relationship with brody and getting to learn more about what happened with the twins/violets reaction to it and how she ultimately blames herself/brodys guilt about her part in it and how she misses violet. getting the chance to mend that relationship before its too late. the 3 of them becoming closer because of it. and getting to develop clems friendship with brody leads to a more impactful moment later in the basement

her relationship with tenn reflecting clems relationship with aj, in the way they both made the decision to look after their respective boys after their primary guardians died (ajs parents, tenns sisters). both of them can understand the responsibilities they have taken upon themselves, and how hard it can be to do right. the 4 of them become a tight knit group quickly. especially in EP2 as vi supports clem while tenn supports aj through the marlon fiasco

her confused relationship with minerva introducing interesting conflict both within her relationship with clem (who has her own personal conflict with minerva, which vi still ties into through her relationship with both minnie and tenn) and the over arching plot, which has themes of learning when to let someone go because they are no longer who they once were (clem and lilly "we were family once", mitch about ms martin "you get all caught up in who people used to be, and you cant deal with whats in front of you", violet about minnie "the real minnie? shes been gone this whole time and i have to stop mourning her")

having a saved violet on the boat expanding the conversation with minerva about her motivations with the delta. violet apologizing for never looking for her, minnie saying she knows she would have but that its too late now, so sure this is just the way things have to be. getting to hear minnie say "you can be rewarded, just like i am", giving us insight into her character. and clem getting the last word before she rams the door down, her and violet fighting minnie Together. and violet saves clems life, making the Choice to shoot minerva, which in and of itself is a huge moment for violets character in regards to her relationship with both minnie And clem

and aj shooting tenn on the bridge brings things full circle, by putting violet in the same position louis was in EP2, where aj has killed the most important person to her, in an effort to save her life, and now she must reckon with those feelings the same way louis had to about marlon. not so easy now is it violet? ("so youre mad, but sad" "can i be that for a while?" "yeah, its ok")

just... ough... violets whole character just fits into Everything so well, but in a way that elevates the characters and plots around her, while also developing her into her own

geniunely not trying to put words in ur mouth im geniunely asking: what do you actually like about persona 5? from all ur rants im just wondering why you didnt drop the game bc it seems (again, im not trying to put words in ur mouth) that it simply not for you? i geniunely have not felt any of the issues you bring up outside of the writing ones and i cannot tell if i'm just easily pleased and not good at discerning what a good game is or we simply have dif things we enjoy in a video game. i hate getting tone across text but im asking out of geniune curiosity im not trying to attack your opinion (;-;)

Nah, i dont feel like ur attacking me, and I hope u dont feel the same when u see my complaints! Lmao. In my defense, I am replaying the game for the first time after completing my first file back in 2020, so alot of the faults i kinda shrugged off in my first playthrough are now glaringly in my face now that I no longer have the confusion and interest in learning the main story to keep me occupied. The game is clunky all the way through, and at some times, even frustratingly so.

But despite that, i do like this game. Alot! Its probably one of my top games ever if im being honest!

This ended up way longer than I intended, so im putting it under a readmore to keep the post short on dashboards

If i had to describe what I liked about the game in the simplest way imaginable…I think I would say, I like how the game makes me feel :) I like the music. I like the vibe. I like the immersion from city to city, and I like the premise! I like the characters and I like the connections you make with these characters! As im replaying this game, i am most excited to see Akira and his comments about the world :) i like hearing everyones voices, I like their little interactions in Mementos, and I like seeing them fight!

P5 is the first game I played in the series; its the game that introduced me to SMT in the first place! And it (smt) is a series that my longtime best friend LOVES and never thought hed be able to share with me! It is a game i keep very near to my heart; it has influenced me in ways i did not think would happen in the short couple of years since i first finished it. It genuinely keeps me awake some nights thinking about the world this game has created, and I think that is a testament to the impact its had, be it good or bad.

The joke about wishing theyd make a persona game that was Good is that despite all of its numerous flaws, the games manage to snatch your attention and pull you in anyway. Imagine if they made a game that had all of those things that i mentioned I loved, but done Right and executed Properly?? Where I got to have a story that made sense and didnt need to be spoonfed to me (in like an HOUR of dialogue and scenes; an HOUR!), and characters that talked and bonded beyond the tiny snippets of interaction theyre allowed to have in mementos? Combat that let me use PERSONAS i liked instead of BUILDS that stop me from getting instakilled throughout the entirety of the endgame, and a Persona building mechanic that didnt feel like I was shooting in the dark looking for possible fusions that end up not even being useful in the endgame.

Ive mentioned it before, but I complain so much bc I have seen what a good p5 game looks like, and its Strikers almost to a T. Combat is still your typical warriors-esque style combat, but it is at least different from the turn based strategy of the main game. Characters talk to each other freely, they hang out and comfort each other in a way that feels more connected that the base game. Strikers implements the ability to see ALL possible fusions with ALL registered personas, not just the ones in your Stock, so you can fuse easily without having yo consult a guide. The story feels like it makes SENSE with antagonists that feel morally grey and sympathetic. Genuinely, alot of the complaints for p5 I had were almost immediately rectified in this game.

But please also know that the praises I sing for this game is only bc of the groundwork laid by p5 and the world it created. Thats what I like about this game, that it had such a captivating premise and cast of characters, that a DIFFERENT company was able to hit the ground running with them. P5 had alot happening in that game, but i think what it had most was potential. The effort put into this game is astronomical, and the possible connections you can outright MISS if u arent paying attention was worth the money and time to implement; even if it meant that it could be considered a waste of resources to higher ups.

Books and games and part time jobs???!! Silly little cutscenes that add nothing to the game PLOTwise, but define and flesh out the personality of your protagonist. There was alot of love put into this game, and its evident by the fact that we have NOT seen a new persona game released; they bank on existing titles bc they are unwilling to make a game like this from scratch again. They dont want to ‘waste’ resources on good voice acting and a complex, overarching story; they dont want to waste money on scenes a player may never see, on routes a player may never get to experience. Making a game that gives u even the slightest bit of freedom means more money in programming and detailing that freedom. This has been an issue for a WHILE, and its a miracle that the gaming landscape had space for a colossal title like p5!

I complain bc I want better, and I do not think that is inherently at odds with my love of this game. In b4 im told to get good; ive played on hard and tested out merciless (its NOT fun, im making godbuilds again and its boring 😞). Its not the most accessible turnbased rpg; theres no colorblind modes, and the affinity system is convoluted and overwhelming. Combo moves are hard to keep track of and it can be incredibly frustrating to see your turns being skipped or seeing characters take extreme technical damage without understanding WHY it happened. The fact that they KNEW the game was desperate for qol improvements by the time royal came out, and instead of updating the base game to have those improvements too, they just pushed the royal edition out for people to play instead. It sucks! Customers and fans deserve better than being forced to shell out money for a game they already played !

As the gaming climate gets more and more hostile and unbearable, I think it is good to look at your games critically, and understand why products come out subpar. Persona 5 is a fun game that has a nice cast and an interesting premise, but it is ultimately tied down by its refusal to build on existing building blocks regarding its combat, and it insists on having insulting and downright out of character dialogue and scenes to appease the audience its designed to be targeted to. It is easy to forget sometimes that queer ppl are infact NOT the prime target of these games, its cishet gamer bros from aged 16 to 40 who will laugh at homophobic comments, who drool over a 16 yr old girl with a 16 yr old mindset and a grown womans body, who need to be placated with constant sexual comments to deal with a convoluted story that will inevitably make zero sense until its laid out for you before the literal end of the game.

Its bad. Its good. Its so shallow and its unbelievable that they thought having the plot twist make ZERO sense until they showed CUTSCENES of YOUR character discussing Goro and his connections to the metaverse for endgame SHOCK VALUE was more important than just having your team be smart and piece it together over time. Its shit. Its literally amazing. It let you FUCK your teacher ??????????????what the FUCK. They also let me shoot a god in the face w the best looking ult persona in the world so i can ignore that shit. And ultimately that is how i got through the game. Lol.

vash w this hairstyle is literally so cute.. .. wolfwood matchies or smt T__T

not my best work but i edited together these two images to try and get the best version of this avac lady loki art <3

me: wow i am really stressed about getting everything set up before next tuesday and about what i'm teaching and actually doing in that first week

also me: i must have the PERFECT welcome to our classroom sign on the front door so help me god

your top 5 kdramas?

my liberation notes

my mister

lost/ no longer human

alchemy of soul

hospital playlist

one spring night

Not me using the wayback machine to try to find your old panic fics (yikesssss for that fandom) 💀

In all seriousness though, much respect to you for taking charge over YOUR work. People can be so gross sometimes. Like why plagiarize when you can just leave a nice comment for the author saying you love their work??

pretty crazy how this ask is acknowledging that it's my work and my decision and I should be able to take ownership of it while simultaneously saying that you went actively against those wishes to try and use other means to find said work after I took it down.

it's almost like you're saying "not me being disrespectful lmao! sorry abt everyone else who is also disrespectful!! they suck."

Pot meet kettle.

homestuck fans when theres no rhyme or reason to the trickster designs and its literally just a jumbled mess of hideous colors and vague candy themes which means theres no consistency to analyze to help with making fan designs

i am. so normal abt natural habitats. SO normal (<- clearly Not Well)

i’ve really been an army for over six years huh. i’ve been an army for almost a third of my life

I'm conflicted between writing blurbs for Carmine and Perrin now or waiting until the second half of the DLC and do all of the characters then

i think its kind of comedic how bad my mental health is atm cuz theres literally no reason for it like girl can u grow up

the version of my body that exists now , post t and surgery is entirely different from the idea i have of what my cis male body would look like and at some point i just have to accept that both are good and affirming