"Brienne should have slept with Tormund, not Jaime! He would have treated her like a queen!!!"

Brienne everytime Tormund is near:

coldhands identity is brave danny flint

Could Coldhands be Brave Danny Flint? It sounds crackpot, and very likely is, but the more I thought about it the more it appealed to me. I've done a quick search, one or two people seem to have floated this before but it's never had much in-depth analysis. This is my first meta, so please be gentle and C&C welcome.

The Gender Agenda To start with, I'll start with the elephant in the room - Danny Flint was a girl, Coldhands is male. Or is he? Gilly, Meera, and Bran all refer to him as male, but they have no idea who he is, so would see Night's Watch clothes and assume. He wears a scarf over his face, and while they can see his eyes and that his face is pale, it took Bran's gang a decent amount of time to work out he was a walking corpse, so I'm not sure I trust them to figure out niceties like gender. Leaf's "They killed him long ago" is more of a problem - she's a colleague, she would probably know. My best defence is that maybe Children of the Forest don't do gender in the same way as humans? This feels like a reach, but we have had another magical species with sexual fluidity leading to trouble with pronouns in the series. Otherwise, Leaf tends to hang out in the cave, Coldhands can't get in, maybe they're just not that close. Finally, the main person to ask - Coldhands his or her self. The only other post I could see on reddit about this theory had someone respond with the quote "Once the heart has ceased to beat, a man's blood runs down into his extremities, where it thickens and congeals. His hands and feet swell up and turn as black as pudding. The rest of him becomes as white as milk", but I'd point out this is in third person and a generalization - "a man", not "me, Coldhands, the man".

Okay, now I've convinced everyone my theory is terrible, let's get into the meat of it.

Hands cold as stone This was what got me into this rabbit hole in the first place - House Flint's sigil is "A grey stone hand upon a white inverted pall on paly black and grey". A stone hand would be pretty cold, right? In point of fact, when we first met Coldhands, the final line of the chapter describes "fingers hard as stone." On top of that, the white and black background seems to fit the Night's Watch blacks, pale face, black hands, white snow, etc.

Who the hell else could it be? This has always been the weird thing about Coldhands for me. Honestly, there's a very good chance this is a non mystery mystery, he's a zombie Night's watch ranger riding an elk, do we really need a secret identity? However, "who is Coldhands?" is one of the most commonly asked questions in the fandom, so let's assume it's getting an answer. We know: a) night's watch member b) killed a long time ago, as reckoned by a 200 year old, c) not Benjen. There are essentially 3 historical periods where we know any specifics about the Night's Watch: 1) the long night/age of heroes, 2) Targaryen era, 3) recent history. If we work through these backwards, we can pretty much rule out the recent era for not meeting the criteria of "killed a long time ago". The Targaryen era didn't have much Night's Watch drama, a few kings sent to the wall at Aegon's conquest, Raymun Redbeard's invasion is wall related but the whole point of that story is that the Night's Watch failed to really get involved... the only strong contender from this period is a mysterious magical Targaryen bastard who went to the wall and went missing... but he's the other mysterious good zombie wandering around up north. The long night has a lot of Night's Watch focus, but it was 10,000 years ago. Allowing for this being in-universe exaggeration, it's still ~2,000 years ago, and if Coldhands were that old, I'm not sure he'd be in elk-riding mutineer-killing form, or at least not look passably human to Bran and co. This rules out specific timeline characters, which leaves more folkloric characters like Danny Flint, who isn't associated to any one point in time. There's a song, and she's treated as a well-known tale, which implies a fairly long time, but overall could be whenever. This works for any of the folkloric Night's Watch characters, but the Rat King is already otherwise occupied with a different cannibalistic pseudo immortality, leaving Mad Axe, who does have the massacring fellow brothers down pat, but doesn't feel thematically right to me. This section really grew in the writing, but TL;DR - assuming Coldhands is someone we've heard of before, no specific historical figures seem to match up chronologically, leaving figures from folk tales and songs, which there are only so many of.

Mutineer Massacre For a character we've all obsessed over so much, it's easy to forget how little we've seen of Coldhands. His role in the story has effectively been "transport Sam and Gilly to the wall, transport Bran and co to Bloodraven, massacre the Night's Watch mutineers". Hold up, one of those things is not like the others. During his quest to get Bran to Bloodraven, to awake the messiah and save the world, Coldhands takes a break and makes a detour to kill the Night's Watch Mutineers from Crasters. This is explicitly noted to be something they slow down for, when time is critical. Admittedly, it secures the party some delicious Long Pork when supplies are low, but even in aDwD it seems like there are other ways to get meat than to hunt humans, besides which he kills not one but five mutineers. He claims it is because the mutineers are following them, but Meera points out they've been circling for days - it seems Coldhands deliberately sought the mutineers out. The brutality of the kills also suggests more than utilitarian pragmatism - there are entrails slung through branches and severed heads! All of this to say, Coldhands is deliberately shown as both a member of the Night's Watch, and willing/going out of his way to punish Night's Watch brothers who break their vows and harm their fellow brothers, something Danny Flint might take personally. Basically, it's a classic exploitation movie with an elk-riding zombie as the wronged woman hunting down wrongdoers. Someone call Tarantino to direct this.

A True Night's Watch One of the big themes GRRM loves is the idea that outsiders to an institution can be the truest embodiment of that institution - Dunk and Brienne are the truest Knights, Davos is the truest lord, the Manderlys are the most loyal northerners. Coldhands already seems to tie into this - the Night's Watch are tireless defenders from the Others and their Wights, so ironically the staunchest ranger is undead as well. It would only emphasise this theme if this ultimate Night's Watch ranger was someone who was barred from entry, had to sneak in, and was murdered by their brothers for not belonging. There also seems to be a thematic tie in that Danny Flint had to essentially infiltrate the Night's Watch and keep her cover in hostile terrain, much like Coldhands in the Others controlled north.

Bonding over being murdered by your brothers Coldhands has so far been very much one of Bran's cast, but it's worth noting characters can switch storylines, and we have someone else in the North who can soon relate to being a back-from-the-dead Night's Watchman fighting the Others - I'm hardly the first to note the Coldhands/Jon parallels, but Coldhands being another character who was murdered by the Night's Watch due to their conservatism and hatred of outsiders would add another layer.

Miscellany A couple of quotes I found while researching for this: “Did Mance ever sing of Brave Danny Flint?” “Not as I recall. Who was he?” (ADWD Jon XII) - Tormund and Jon talking, Tormund mistaking Danny Flint for a man, this feels like one of those throw-away lines GRRM likes to include to make a little double meaning once the truth is out, or just seeding the idea of mistaking Danny Flint for a man. “The ranger wore the black of the Night’s Watch, but what if he was not a man at all?" (ADWD Bran I) - again, I could see GRRM giggling as he typed that if this theory were true.

Conclusion Honestly, there is every chance this is absolute nonsense, and I've just lost it waiting for TWoW. I tend to lean towards Coldhands not having a big identity reveal, he's an undead ranger co-opted by Bloodraven and that's enough. However, if Coldhands is to have an identity reveal, I think Danny Flint deserves consideration: there aren't that many viable candidates, her story is emotionally intense enough and has been referred to often enough that a casual fan could be expected to go "oh!" instead of "...let me google that", and it would fit with existing themes of the story. The angle of Jon parallels even gives an opening for the reveal to be natural and facilitate character and thematic arcs, which is what I look for in a theory.

comment on reddit

Yeah, the Flint (of Flint's Finger) sigil literally being a Cold Hand is what sold me on this when I started looking into it. There's also some other intriguing textual stuff about it...

The weird thing about Danny Flint is that she is only mentioned three times in all of ASOIAF. Three! Bran recounts her tale in Bran IV, ASOS; Theon hears Wyman Manderly demand her song in The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD; and Jon discusses her tale with Tormund in Jon XII, ADWD.

This was kind of shocking to me. Danny Flint is a pretty recognizable name to, I’d figure, the majority of attentive readers. I thought she must have been mentioned before the third book, at least, but… nope. Her tale is first introduced to us in Bran IV, ASOS, the Nightfort chapter… Oh, what’s that? Wait, isn’t that… the very same Nightfort chapter where we first hear about Coldhands? (Well, no, actually, he appears at the end of Samwell III before that, but this is the first chapter where he is identified as Coldhands.) Chronologically, Sam meets Coldhands, Bran thinks about Danny Flint, and then Sam introduces Bran to Coldhands, in fairly quick succession.

So it seems GRRM came up with Danny Flint and Coldhands around the exact same time. Interesting. Danny Flint is then not mentioned again until ADWD, when the Coldhands mystery is developed further. Double interesting.

Also, the Bran chapter directly preceding the Nightfort chapter– our first introduction to Danny Flint– is the one where Meera tells him the story of the Knight of the Laughing Tree, another tale of a northern warrior woman dressing as a man and hiding her face in service of some greater goal. Stretch? Maybe.

And why would Coldhands' face be covered at all if there WASN'T some big reveal upcoming? What utility would that have? That scarf clearly seems like a setup for SOMETHING. He doesn't need it for warmth. He's likely hiding a face that would make him recognizable to Bran/Meera/Jojen (and the readers), but died long ago... the only way that reveal could work without a ton of laborious exposition is if he took off the scarf and it was obviously a 'female' face, making it obviously Danny. It also seems likely Coldhands will interact with at least Bran and Meera again, both of whom are somewhat connected to Danny Flint’s story– Bran via his love of stories and legends, and Meera via the breaking of gender roles. So there's thematic levels to it as well.

source www . reddit . com/r/asoiaf/comments/llwm8m/coldhands_identity_spoilers_extended/

Game of Thrones - ‘The Last of the Starks’ Review

"We may have defeated them, but there's still us to contend with."

Previously, I'd written reviews for a couple of different episodes centered around epic battles. In this case, I felt fortunate to be reviewing an episode that's all about the aftermath of an epic battle, as well as a prelude for the next one.

Because I really couldn't decide how I felt about the sudden end to the White Walkers, the Long Night and the Great War until I saw how they planned to go forward. I'm still not sure how I feel about it, but I do know that -- as rushed as The Last of the Starks was -- there is a lot here that I quite enjoyed. At the very least, taking the zombies and ice demons out at the midway point leaves plenty of room to further explore the joys and pains of these awesome characters as they face an uncertain future.

Celebration of Life

The episode's opening is very bittersweet. We start with the somber mass funeral of those who died defending Winterfell from the Army of the Dead, and neatly segue into a joyous victory feast in the castle's great hall. These people just overcame death incarnate, and quickly realize there is much to celebrate. This leads to some beautiful moments.

Dany surprises everyone by singling out Gendry, son of her lifelong nemesis, and legitimizing him as a full-fledged Baratheon. I especially loved that Davos began the cheers for him, it's a nice vindication of his undying loyalty to the family.

Tormund once again attempts to woo Brienne of Tarth, but this time gets soundly cock-blocked by Jaime Lannister. Watching Tormund tearfully relate this tragedy to the uncaring Hound before shacking up with some horny northern girl was hilarious. Which gives us the scene between Sansa and Sandor Clegane, a reunion I had been waiting for.

Although not quite as intimate as it is in the books, theirs is still a significant connection; he helped inspire her strength, and she helped inspire his chivalry. It was nice to see Sansa gain the Hound's respect, and it's always nice to see this hard man's softer, more vulnerable side.

And we finally see Jaime and Brienne become a thing. That love scene was so cleverly adorable in its execution, these two misfits struggling to approach the act of consummating their feelings toward each other. Brienne's awkward stiffness as she finds herself in a mutually romantic situation for the first time in her life, and Jaime's even more awkward attempt at flirting after a lifetime of ignoring all other women in favor of his twin sister. Very well handled.

Of course, there are still a couple of episodes left and they can't be full of nothing but our favorite characters happily prospering. As Littlefinger previously addressed, and as Tyrion reaffirms here, defeating the mythical White Walkers and saving the world means everyone must now deal with that world and each other.

Moments of Truth

Daenerys is quick to recognize this as well. The celebration only reminds her that she is still a stranger in her own homeland, that Jon Snow is the heroic leader people revere, and that his claim to the throne is stronger than hers regardless of whatever her destiny truly is. Emilia Clarke's performance shines here in a way I haven't seen for a couple of seasons now. This is because for the most part we only see her wearing Dany's queenly mask of superiority, mostly cool but occasionally smoldering. Whereas now we are seeing Dany in a state of palpable desperation.

The scene between her and Jon really brings their circumstances down to earth quite dramatically. They are in love and want to be together, but the truth of Jon's origin threatens to tear them apart and the realm along with them. Dany begs Jon not to reveal his secret identity to anyone else, but he feels compelled to tell Sansa and Arya because they are his family.

I'm disappointed that we don't see Sansa and Arya's immediate reactions to the truth, but their choices later on are just as telling.

Sansa chooses to betray Jon's trust by spilling the beans to Tyrion, hoping to erode Dany's power in favor of Jon. This would almost certainly guarantee an Iron Throne controlled by the Starks.

Arya chooses to join the Hound on a suicide mission to King's Landing, which is a bit more ambiguous. Is she questioning her own existence after learning Jon's secret and refusing Gendry's proposal, finally accepting that she wasn't born to be a subservient sister or wife but an instrument of death? Or is she risking her life in order to protect Jon, who she will always love as her brother, no matter where he came from?

Either way, it seems like a lot of carnage could have been avoided if Arya had just offered to go south and single-handedly assassinate Cersei for Jon and Dany.

The R+L=J revelation also leads to a few great scenes between Tyrion and Varys. Tyrion is clearly distressed, but Varys (rather hypocritically) begins suggesting that they should kick Dany to the curb and put Jon on the Iron Throne. It's been so long since we've seen the serious side to this duo. Now it seems Varys is poised to betray the queen he marked as a savior, in the name of the people. Meaning he's probably got dragonfire in his future. Or maybe not. The way their last conversation ends, you get the feeling that Tyrion's plea for Varys not to threaten Dany is more of a warning. Tyrion did start off his relationship with Varys by threatening to kill him for potentially endangering a woman he cared about.

For once, Tyrion is the character who's really hard to read. He seems to know Jon is a more ideal choice, but he can't bring himself to consider betraying Dany. He fears Dany's potential for madness and destruction, but he also genuinely believes in her potential for greatness.

I still think Tyrion's loyalty to Dany goes beyond just finding a ruler worth sticking with. Part of me thinks he's got some repressed romantic feelings toward her, and another part of me thinks he views her as the sister Cersei never was. Which likely makes the fact that they are at war with Cersei all the more complicated, since Tyrion just can't bring himself to give up on her.

Despite the whacky Stark kids, the legendary warriors and the various schemers and pretenders to the throne, the story really does seem to center around our three main outsiders, Jon, Daenerys and Tyrion. And I think Tyrion is drinking so much because he understands that he is caught in the middle and has the burden of deciding all of their fates and doesn't know the right choice. He is finally beginning to see the long shadow he is casting.

And despite Jon's stubborn optimism that everyone can get along, even he seems indecisive and adrift. He claims to not want the throne or the crown or even his "true" identity, but his departure from Winterfell shows us that he's still leaving behind everything that's been a core part of who he is: the North, the Free Folk, his friends and family, he even asks Tormund to bring his direwolf Ghost beyond the Wall. Whether he knows it or not, he is being drawn toward the Iron Throne, his supposed destiny. But his scenes in this episode drive the point home that he will always be Jon Snow at heart, not Aegon Targaryen VI. His connection to the Starks, the North, the First Men (hell, maybe even the Old Gods) is clearly much stronger than the blood of the dragon running through his veins.

Death of Dragons

And to drive this point home, immediately after Jon leaves Ghost behind, his dragon Rhaegal winds up dead.

Yes, "The Last War" quickly goes wrong for Dany as Euron Greyjoy lays an ambush at Dragonstone, destroying the rest of the Targaryen fleet and capturing Missandei in addition to killing one of her dragons with new souped up scorpions.

It's both frustrating and amazing that Cersei has been allowed to turn the tables like this, though forgivable in that it's largely a result of other people. Euron's unpredictable nature and talent for raising hell is key to her strength, Jaime's theft of the Tyrell wealth is the only reason she could afford the Golden Company, and she likely wouldn't have gotten this far if a crazy resourceful bastard like Qyburn hadn't been backing her up. Gold, cruelty and fool's luck have subsequently left her in a position where she is more dominant than a woman who had previously dominated almost half a continent.

Dealing with an enemy as maddeningly chaotic and power hungry as Cersei is doing the opposite of what Tyrion wants by provoking Dany to be just as bad or worse in her quest for victory. That Tyrion continues to delude himself into thinking Cersei is "not a monster" because she "loved her children" still annoys me. You could argue that he's trying to reason with her simply to avoid any more bloodshed, but Tyrion should be smart enough to know by now that appealing to Cersei's humanity and rationality is hopeless. Which Cersei proves by having the Mountain decapitate Missandei, spitting on Dany's last bit of mercy. Our dragon queen has never been closer to giving the order to "burn them all" than she is now.

Missandei's resolute final words -- "Dracarys", which calls back to the moment she went from enslaved translator to royal herald when Dany began her revolution in Slaver's Bay -- might give us some hope for sweet revenge and catharsis, but I imagine the end result will be more difficult to reconcile. King's Landing is a powderkeg just waiting to go off. I mean, we've got the combined Stark and Targaryen forces about to do battle with the combined Lannisters, Ironborn and Golden Company sellswords, Dany unleashing her wrath on dragonback while Cersei uses the populace of King's Landing as a shield, the Hound facing off against the Mountain, Arya coming to kill Cersei and Jaime possibly on his way to do the same (more on that below), there's a good chance Cersei will use wildfire again to give her more of an edge, all on top of Tyrion and Varys butting heads as they toy with Jon and Dany's lives in the game of thrones.

If The Long Night was any indication, we'll likely see most of this resolved in the next episode after much senseless violence. However, unless everyone ends up killing each other, that still leaves a bunch of other unanswered questions. Will our heroes Jon and Dany come to terms with who they are? How does Tyrion go on after the downfall of his dysfunctional family? Can the Stark children ever come back from the tragedies and horrors that have defined their lives? Is what's left of Westeros going to survive the long winter? How long will this winter be? Why are the seasons so long anyway? If the realm does survive, will it and its people learn from this devastation and evolve, or forget and doom themselves to repeat history over and over? What exactly is the Prince That Was Promised, or the Lord of Light? Where does any of this magic come from? Does Bronn get his fancy castle? Was the Three-Eyed Bran the bad guy all along? Will the gallant cat Ser Pounce ever return?

I guess I'll find out, one way or another. Hard to believe this show's almost over.

Schemes & Plots:

* The funeral scene got to me. Guess I just wasn't ready to see characters like Jorah, Theon or Dolorous Edd get laid to rest.

* I love how Podrick casually sets up a threesome in the background as Sansa talks to Sandor.

* Bronn gets a scene with Jaime and Tyrion that, while fun, is basically a retread of most other scenes between these characters. Which pretty much boils down to this: "You fuckers owe me a castle!" I know it's a cute way of illustrating that Bronn would rather not kill the Lannister bros, but realistically he should have cut his losses a long time ago.

* Varys mentions that the "new Prince of Dorne" has declared for Daenerys. Whoever this is, I doubt we'll ever see him. Guess the show chose to forget that Oberyn Martell had eight daughters, which would leave five still alive after the demise of the loathsome Sand Snakes.

* Gilly is pregnant with Sam's baby. Big surprise, they're gonna name it Jon if it's a boy.

* Not long after the Jaime/Brienne ship sets sail, it capsizes when Jaime learns that Cersei is gaining the advantage over Dany. He then apparently abandons his chance at honor, love and peace to go back to Cersei, breaking Brienne's heart. Or so it would seem. I think Jaime is really going back to put an end to Cersei himself, and simply played the villain to keep Brienne from following him to almost certain death. Jaime states the unforgivable things he's done for Cersei as if to affirm that he is just like her, but I think this is him owning up to the fact that loving Cersei made him into a monster, something he doesn't want to be. In this light, Jaime killing Cersei would be as poetic as Tyrion killing Tywin; their struggle to please these hateful tyrants enslaved them both, forcing them to compromise their principles and accept lives of humiliation and scorn. A missing sword hand isn't Jaime's greatest handicap no more than dwarfism was Tyrion's. It's Cersei. She's a chain he needs to break free from.

* Watching Jaime struggle to unbutton his tunic or ready his horse makes me think of all the other one-handed difficulties he must have dealt with during his solo journey north.

* I still really hate that there's no snow in King's Landing. After all the talk about how "Winter is Coming", winter has had far less representation than I imagined.

* Tyrion's parlay with Qyburn reminded me of the deleted scene from The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King where the heroes meet the Mouth of Sauron.

* We see the way this world's history repeats itself through Gendry. House Baratheon was originally founded by a man said to have been Aegon the Conqueror's bastard brother, and they are once again made rulers of the Stormlands by another Targaryen conqueror. It's taken even further when an overjoyed Gendry asks Arya to be his wife and gets rejected, just like his father Robert was rejected by Lyanna Stark. The Baratheons are typically very gifted individuals, but they are woefully unlucky when it comes to love and family.

* Speaking of history repeating, it turns out Cersei really is manipulating Euron the same way she manipulated King Robert, tricking him into believing that her Lannister incest baby is his Greyjoy heir to the throne.

* Rhaegal died at Dragonstone after being unceremoniously impaled by three javelins and sinking into the waters. This was similar to his namesake, Rhaegar Targaryen, the Prince of Dragonstone who was unceremoniously defeated and died in the waters of the Trident.

* Still not enough Ghost.

Quotes:

Sandor Clegane: Used to be you couldn't look at me. Sansa Stark: That was a long time ago. I've seen much worse than you since then. Sandor: Yes, I've heard. Heard you were broken in. Heard you were broken in rough. Sansa: And he got what he deserved. I gave it to him. Sandor: How? Sansa: Hounds. Sandor: (chuckles) ... You've changed, little bird.

Jaime Lannister: You know the first thing I learned about the North? I hate the fucking North. Brienne of Tarth: It grows on you. Jaime: I don't want things growing on me.

Daenerys Targaryen: (to Jon) I saw the way they looked at you. I know that look. So many people have looked at me that way, but never here. Never on this side of the sea.

Jon Snow: If you only trust the people you grow up with, you won't make many allies. Arya Stark: That's alright. I don't need many allies.

Tormund Giantsbane: (to Jon) You've got the north in you. The real north.

Sandor Clegane: (to Arya) Must've felt good, sticking your knife in that horned fucker.

Varys: How many others know? Tyrion: Including us? Eight. Varys: Then it's not a secret anymore. It's information.

Varys: You know our queen better than I do. Do you think she wants to share the throne? She doesn't like to have her authority questioned-- Tyrion: Something she has in common with every monarch who ever lived. Varys: I worry about her state of mind. Tyrion: We're advisors to the queen. Worrying about her state of mind is our job... We still have to take King's Landing. Maybe Cersei will win and kill us all. That would solve all our problems.

Euron Greyjoy: She's coming for you. Cersei Lannister: Of course, she is. Keep the gates open. If she wants to take the castle she'll have to murder thousands of innocent people first. So much for the Breaker of Chains.

Daenerys: They should know who to blame when the sky falls down upon them. Damn.

Varys: I have served tyrants most of my life. They all talk about destiny. Tyrion: She's a girl who walked into a fire with three stones and walked out with three dragons. How could she not believe in destiny?

Though I'm not crazy about the direction these last few seasons have gone in, it was an absolute pleasure to be able to write reviews for this show. Game of Thrones is truly phenomenal. It'll be a shame not to have it to look forward to anymore. Three and a half out of five Starbucks coffee cups.

Logan Cox

Summersea’s GoT Season 6 Tumblr Spoiled First Time Watch 2019: Part 1

So I was going to rename this a “hatewatch” now that I’ve gotten to a whole season I hadn’t seen before, but let’s be honest. If you’ve seen me reblogging things from later seasons, it was never going to be that. There are things that I knew I was going to enjoy VERY MUCH, and I wasn’t wrong. There were also things that, if I let them, would have had me frothing a the mouth in rage. 

But then I reminded myself that I’m vacationing in Castle Not Giving a Shit while I watch the back half of the show, and things were much better after that. I’ve mostly left my in the moment reaction except where I’d had too much wine to be coherent.

Season 6

Hot on the heels of season 5 i still have a third of a bottle of Chardonnay left let’s DO THIS

6x01

1. Lol it’s still in the credits so they continue to pretend like they care about Dorne????

2. Ghost howling 😢😢😢

3. So Davos went straight from staning one dour person to another... he has a type.

4. Some dude in the night’s watch re Melisandre: who’s she? Davos: oh just some lady Who spat a shadow out of her vag once LETS TRUST HER

5. Wow Olly aged a lot over the past five minutes since he killed Jon!

6. Edd please don’t die here. I don’t remember how you go but don’t let it be here

7. Boo hoo poor little psychopath lost his gf. No one cares, Ramsay. Myranda deserved what she got AND SO WILL YOU

8. My soul left my body like three times during that chase scene where Theon and Sansa are running from the Bolton men. POOR COLD BBS

9. That hug where they’re just CLINGING TO EACH OTHER THIS SHOULD NOT MAKE ME SHIP IT BUT HERE WE ARE

10. THEON SHOWING HIMSELF TO TRY TO KEEP HER SAFE I CANNOT HE KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS IF THEY CATCH HIM AND HE DOES IT ANYWAY SO SHE MIGHT HAVE A CHANCE 

11. IT’S BRIENNE OF MF-ING TARTH OMG YAY

12. Also go Theon killing that dude

13. UGH THE SWEARING FEALTY SCENE WITH SANSA AND BRIENNE AND ALL OF THEIR FACES AND SANSA LOOKING TO THEON BEFORE ACCEPTING AND POD REMINDING HER OF THE WORDS IT IS PERFECT 

14. Give me the AU where Theon lives and stays at Winterfell because he wants to be near her and they understand each other and Brienne is in her Queensgiard I AM NOT ASKING MUCH

15. Meanwhile in other trauma hi Cersei

16. UGH LOOK HOW SHE RUNS ACROSS THE COURTYARD TO SEE HER DAUGHTER

17. So... that scene with Jaime and Cersei where they talked about seeing Joanna’s dead body and she... Doesn’t blame him??? For Myrcella? Like I thought she would??? And she tells him about the prophecy??? And they hug??? Yeah that’s in contention for my fav Lannister twin scene ever? Top five at the very least. (And another member of the “Jaime writes his siblings’ dialogue” club.)

18. For all of his false kindness and gentleness the High Sparrow is just as bad as any of them, and When I’m not seething with anger I can appreciate how nuanced Jonathan Pryce’s performance is.

19. Wtf Ellaria and Tyene murdering Doran.

20. OMG TRYSTANE and I call Sand Snake Character Assassination here they are just SO BITCHY and without honor and the Dorneish are SO HONOR OBSESSED ugh why I hate it Also was that Myrcellas ship? Are there two bitchy Sand snakes just chilling in king’s landing now?? 

21. Tyrion and Varys among the people is kind of fascinating. Also what’s up with that Red Priest? Another who thinks the lord of light chose Dany?

22. Oh no the ships... Varys and Tyrion running TOWARD trouble says a lot about them.

23. Did the showrunners... forget Jorah would know the word Khalasar? Why would he say horde?

24. At least the Khals believe Dany is Drogo’s widow?

25. Ok so the waif is fascinating and her movements are just so... Succinct. A++ physical acting or whatever the word is.

26. Whoa that’s Melisandre without the necklace?? Cool story bro but why did she choose then to take it off? What does that tell us about her as a character or her powers? Just wanted to show some crone boobs? IDEK that was a weird ending.

6x02

1. The trailer reminds us that BRAN IS IN THIS SHOW

2. Remember this kid? He’s a Stark! He’s VERY IMPORTANT! He’s GONNA BE KING, but he wasn’t in all of season 5. He matters WE PROMISE.

3. The older generation of Starklings!!! I would be lying if I didn’t say seeing Lyanna and Brandon and Ned and Benejen And Nan and bb Hodor didn’t give me a LOT of feelings. (Also Bloodraven is the Worst Ghost of Christmas Past Ever.)

4. Cross fandom wish: I want to see Hodor, Groot, and Rocket have a conversation where everyone understands every word.

5. So... Meera and Summer have been hunting so that they all stay alive, right?? Otherwise WHAT ARE THEY EATING

6. Ok I take back what I said about them only having the Children once, but that was WEAK. “Help Bran, Meera. Because I said so and I’m a creepy magical person whose motivations are unclear”

7. YEAAAAAH WUN WUN SMASH THOSE TRAITORS. Good on you too Edd for taking charge.

8. Ugh every bar has one like that asshole talking about Cersei. And I don’t think he’s long for this world

9. I LOVE BEING RIGHT HI GREGOR

10. Why would Tommen keep Cersei away from Myrcella’s funeral. OH GODS HE WAS TRYING TO PROTECT HER.

11. Ugh Jaime is tired of keeping vigil over his dead family members GIVE HIM A BREAK

12. Also Jaime promising never to let Cersei be in a cell again while he’s there AAAAHHH YES 🦁 ❤️

13. There’s nothing more dangerous than a fanatic who fears nothing, Jaime. But him threatening the High Sparrow was made of sex.

14. SEVEN HELLS did Tommen just give Cersei the idea to blow up the sept

15. Dany’s council meeting in absentia is kind of neat. I was wondering how those crazy kids were doing. 

16. Lol I drink and I know things is ABOUT TYRION KNOWING ABOUT DRAGONS 🐉 I DID NOT KNOW THAT AND I LOVE IT

17. Tyrion being like “please DO NOT EAT THE ALLIES (me)” to Viserion and Rhaegal is amazing

18. Viserion is all ME TOO LET ME GO HERE’S THE CHAIN SMALL HUMAN when he shows Tyrion his neck.

19. That was a rough test Jaqen

20. Yes Ramsay please march North I dare you

21. Roose KNOWS what Ramsay is and tries to steer him out of it but I don’t think he truly understands how deep the crazy goes

22. HOLY SHIT RAMSAY JUST STABBED HIS DAD and everyone either is too scared of Ramsay to do anything about it or was in on it. LOOKING AT YOU KARSTARK ASSHOLE

23. Oh Walda you sweet trusting soul he is going to feed you and your baby to those dogs isn’t he. I DON’T like being right. Have I mentioned that?

24. Brienne recognizing Sansa’s choices were hard ❤️❤️

25. Ugh Theon talking about all the things he’s done and Sansa hugging him anyway aaaaah my soul

26. It’s hard to hear someone else say they forgive you you when you don’t think you deserve forgiveness, and he’s definitely not ready to hear it from Jon. (But he’s ready to hear it from Sansa because of what they’ve been through together? I like that explanation and I’m sticking to it.)

27. Oh right Pyke exists the show doesn’t remember that unless it’s convenient.

28. HOW DARE YOU REFERENCE THAT PINECONES LINE SHOW YOU HAVE NOT EARNED THAT

29. Ok at least Yara cares about her people and we get to see it.

30. OMG Euron? He’s the one who kills Balon?

31. ...and he’s kind of got delusions of Grandeur? “I am the drowned god” wtf sir.

32. Gotta admit Iron Islands burial customs are kinda neat

33. We get the Kingsmoot? I’m listening, show... you’re on notice but I’m listening.

34. Depressed Melisandre is depressed. Wait... has she never done the raising from the dead thing? SEVEN HELLS SHE HASN’T.

35. A pep talk from Davos might snap me out of my crisis of faith too.

36. Thoros can do this in the language of Westeros, but I guess if Valyrian works for you...

37. I love Tormund peacing out of the room with Mostly Dead Jon like “I have had enough of this south of the wall bullshit”

38. Did Melisandre reach the lord of lights answering machine and it took him a while to get back? “If you would like to leave a resurrection request for R’hllor, please press one...”

39. Ghost’s eyes open AND SO DO JON’S hey bro

6x03 this episode is called Oathbreaker ARE WE ABOUT TO GET TO SEE THE FLASHBACK TO JAIME KILLING AERYS PLZ TELL ME

1. He liiiives! Poor Jon... what did you see while you were gone I wonder?

2. Oh jeez it was nothing. At least he has the most comforting sensible person in this series to help him through.

3. I like that Jon gets to come downstairs and HUG TWO OF HIS FRIENDS and none of the nights watch or the wildlings bat an eye or seem to think less of him for it. LET MEN HUG. 

4. Oh jeez Sam’s taking Gilly and the baby to Horn Hill? Do we get to meet his mom? (No one cares about Randylll but I think we might get to meet him too?)

5. BB Sam is SO CUTE HE HAS HAIR NOW.

6. Wait is Gilly pregnant again?

7. That is the Tower of Joy and I AM NOT READY

8. HOLY SHIT HOWLAND REED KILLED ARTHUR DAYNE?

9. Sword of the morning indeed WHAT A BADASS (somewhere in my soul Jaime is waving an “Arthur Dayne Rocks” banner) there’s no way Ned could have won that fight without help and now Bran knows that??? I don’t really have anything interesting to say here I just love the idea of a kid getting to see the truth of a family story that’s radically different from what he thought he knew.

10. Past Ned HEARD BRAN? FASCINATING?

11. Oh right Dany is about to meet all of the other widows of the Khals this could be cool but knowing d and d it won’t be because it would involve treating WoC with nuance.

12. Not impressed so far.

13. So this girl Varys is meeting with is in league with the Sons of the Harpy? Good my memory is intact.

14. all this with Varys actually TRYING to take care of Meereen is fun...

15. Tyrion being like OMG I AM BORED PLZ TALK ABOUT SOMETHING to Grey Worm and Missandei is the most him thing ever. I feel you Bro. He’s a people person deep down and just wants to be friends so badly.

16. Qyburn with all of Varys’ little birds and making kids’ abusive parents disappear is PRECIOUS.

17. Don’t poke the Mountain, Jaime

18. LANNISTER MUSICAL CHAIRS PART 2 also Jaime is ON THE SMALL COUNCIL NOW??? Who gave book!Cersei three wishes??? Him actually being in her corner and working with her as a team must be like a wish come true...

19. “Grand Maester Pycelle would you sanction that starement?” 😂 Lena’s delivery of that line made me laugh so hard we had to rewind to hear the dialogue.

20. No no don’t leave the three of them together they’ll plan murder. Well, Cersei and Jaime will. Gregor will nod.

21. Tommen confronting the high sparrow fascinated me. He has some of the I WILL KILL YOU family traits on display here but it’s understandable given what his family has gone through at the high sparrows hand. I’d be threatening murder too if I were him.

22. What are you playing at mr high Sparrow? Because I don’t trust you farther than I can throw you, and I don’t even have a good arm.

23. The Hound was not on her list any more 😢 that whole scene with Arya recounting her life and learning to fight blind is NEAT.

24. Wait faceless men are immune to the poison in the water?? Cool.

25. Is that supposed to be Greatjon Umber’s son who refuses Jon? What an ass.

26. My wife adds, “THESE LOSERS are the people Sansa is supposed to be queen of?”

27. OH SHIT OSHA AND RICKON AND SHAGGYDOG HOW DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN? (Please let Sansa Find out who did that and who helped and give them what they deserve... there’s no way anyone took down that wolf alone.) I HATE THAT WE ARE NEVER GOING TO GET CLOSURE ON THAT PROBABLY.

28. Oh shit Jon has to hang the traitors that’s gonna be hard on him.

29. At least Alliser is consistent.

30. Jon did what he had to do... just like Ned in the first ep.

31. Wait WHAT did you just hang those men and then LEAVE? Isn’t leaving just as damaging to the order as killing the lord commander? That seemed overly quick and weird but ok????

32. Guess Jon was the Oathbreaker.

6x04

1. If anyone deserved an I JUST DIED crisis, it’s Jon. Also, the vows say, “it will not end until my death...” so technically...

2. Brienne got them up to the Wall QUICK. She is nothing if not efficient.

3. Sansa and Jon are like, “so... how cool are we going to play this? NOT COOL AT ALL LETS HUG” so sweet.

4. “Where will WE go?” Yes stay together Starklings because family is important certainly don’t scatter to the four winds or anything 🙄

5. I kind of love that Sansa’s the one who insists on taking back Winterfell and is all “help me or not I’m doing it”

6. I’m Brienne of Tarth and I HAVE A LONG FUCKING MEMORY. Wait... wrong show. (She DOES, though...) 

7. Wow Petyr lying about Sansa being forced to Marry Ramsay... he’s playing the lords of the Vale like a fiddle.

8. That’s a lovely bird he got Robin. What a pretty boy.

9. Missandei staring daggers at Tyrion is Excellent Content. The “Tyrion tries to be a little more diplomatic but this involves dealing with slavers” problem is... a bit oversimplified, but at least they’re addressing it? Still not great. 

10. Jorah and Daario are off on a secret mission and I cant stop hearing the Galavant song.

11. The older widow of the Dosh Khaleen is more interesting than the show will let her be.

12. Is that Lazareen widow Dutch from Killjoys? IT IS!!!!

13. Guess what high Sparrow NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR SELF RIGHTEOUS CONVERSION STORY LEAST OF ALL ME (guess who has some issues with organized religion it’s meeeee)

14. Way to act your heart out, though, Jonathan Pryce.

15. So idk if I’ve made a big deal about this but I’m SUPER QUEER and seeing Loras broken like that made my heart stop for a second.

16. “Not setting off” fanatics, huh Pycelle? I think Cersei has other ideas 😈 🔥

17. Tommen is TALLER THAN CERSEI NOW

18. Cersei and Jaime trying to get Olenna and Kevan on their side against the High Sparrow is... smarter than I thought it was going to be when they walked into that room. They had a united front, they were clearly working together... WHAT IS THIS I LIKE IT

19. Theon looks like a ghost of himself. :( And Pyke looks all creepy.

20. Jeez Yarra go easy on your little brother his psyche still has cracks in it. I guess it’s understandable that she’s pissed given the failed rescue and the timing of his arrival. I kept just waiting for him to say “I want to be home,” when she yelled WHAT DO YOU WANT but he didn’t and that makes me sad. (Home should have been Winterfell or wherever Sansa was just saying.)

21. Oh Osha don’t try it... shit. Well, you tried

22. And Tormund’s epic crush on Brienne begiiiiiins

23. SHIT RAMSAY TELLS JON HE HAS RICKON

24. Sansa insisting on reading the rest of the letter from Ramsay is... made of steel. I’m here for her being the driving force behind this attempted rescue.

25. I didn’t realize that so many Dothraki knew about how Dany lost the baby and Drogo.

26. DID DANY JUST KILL ALL OF THE KHALS? Girl knows how to make an entrance? The optics here are sooooo problematic but she looks DAMNED impressive the plan in and of itself is sound - gets rid of the men who don’t respect her and shows herself to be indestructible in one power move...

6x05 OH NO THIS IS CALLED THE DOOR I THINK I KNOW WHAT IS COMING

1. Is it just me or are d and d writing more and more episodes themselves?

2. Sansa has had enough of Littlefinger’s bullshit. Making him face up to what HE LEFT HER TO WHEN HE MARRIED HER TO RAMSAY AND ABANDONED HER YES GOOD.

3. When he says “did he cut you” and Sansa talking about Ramsay not caring as long as she could give him an heir... does that mean what I think it does? FGM? I hate that I even wonder. (Still not sure about this, but I don’t put it past them to imply something horrific like that and then not come back to it.)

4. The more I see the waif fight, the cooler she gets.

5. Faceless men founded Braavos? Right I KNEW that.

6. Ok the play is fun... complete with sound effects. So interesting to see what people in Braavos think of everything that happened.

7. So... I would Lady Crane’s voice anywhere. Hi Phryne!

8. Oh wow look at all the CotF

9. THEY MADE THE WHITE WALKERS I did not know that and for YEARS before this season came out we had an au idea where that was true and I AM SCREAMING

10. AND THEY DID IT TO DEFEND AGAINST THE ANDALS AND WHAT THEY WERE DOING TO THE TREES

11. Yara’s speech was lovely, Theon supporting her was sweet, but Yara shouldn’t have needed a dude’s support to get that reaction from the crowd. She’s been on Pyke and being badass ALL HER LIFE. That being said, I like to think Yara would have been Queen in this version of things if Euron hadn’t showed up. What a Dick.

12. How does Euron go from wanting to marry Dany to allying with Cersei? I guess I’m about to find out.

13. Damphair knows cpr, idiot showrunners. don’t just let Euron lie there.

14. YES GET AWAY YARA AND THEON AND... a lot of the fleet? Good on them.

15. Jorah trying to leave Dany and her not letting him and commanding him to find a cure aaaahhhhh my feelings 😢

16. In the real world Tyrion would have been a great campaign manager.

17. If they wanted someone local... why get a red priestess from Volantis? Is this supposed to be the same woman? Do any of the people of Meereen even follow the faith of R’Hollor?

18. Varys having no time for the red faith’s bullshit is SO GOOD. It’s ok Varys you’re probably the most famous eunuch in the world right now. And whoop de doo a sorceress knows a story about a sorcerer it’s a small magical world don’t let her cow you.

19. ...whatcha doing, Bran???

20. Well that’s not creepy at all. Soooo many wights. Were there only... four white walkers including the night king? I’m so confused.

21. “The Umbers gave Rickon to Ramsay they can hang” YES SANSA

22. Why did she lie about getting info from Petyr? (And GOOD ON BRIENNE calling her on it)

23. Brienne calling Jon “a bit brooding” is the most hilarious thing ever. Somewhere Jaime Lannister is laughing his ass off. 

24. Yes wolfy clothes for everyone.

25. Awww Edd forgetting he’s acting lord commander is hilarious.

26. SO MANY WIGHTS DON’T DIE MIRA

27. Why are the children and the white walkers on opposite sides? Are these just about rogue CotF? EXPLAIN SHOW EXPLAIN

28. Cool visuals though... the night king walking through that fire was AWESOME.

29. Rickard LOOKS like a stark in that flashback.

30. RIP Bloodraven... glad you didn’t have to see how pointless all of this was.

31. Wait wait plain old wights can KILL THE CHILDREN? Dumb.

32. SUMMER NO I AM NOT OK WITH ANY OF THIS not Leaf either she’s a nice little tree person even if her motivations are unclear.

33. So Bran warging into Hodor in the present and in the past at the same time is what messed him up? Or something about the time folding and Bran BEING THERE?

34. That was upsetting as fuck about Hodor and I AM SAD EVEN THOUGH I KNEW IT WAS COMING

And... tumblr won’t let me post the whole thing. I had A LOT to say about some later episodes. Remember when I was going to keep this to three bullet points for each episode? Yeah me neither. 

GOT Recap:  The Last of the Starks

Airdate:  5/5/19  Season 8, Episode 4

Ack! The remaining episodes of Game of Thrones are dwindling as fast as the number of secondary characters – we’re more than halfway through the season and merely two episodes away from the end of the series.  Waaaah, I just want it to last forever!  This latest episode offered up a buffet of secrets, strategy, and surprises, oh my! There’s a lot to unpack, as the writers rush to neatly tie up storylines and set things up for the next big battle, so get comfy, grab a cup of your favorite Starbucks beverage and let’s hop right into the recap for “The Last of the Starks”:

We start off at Winterfell, with a somber send-off of all the valiant heroes who died in the battle against the Night King and his Army of Dead.  Ser Jorah’s body lays on a funeral pyre and a grief-stricken Daenerys Targaryen bids him farewell and whispers something into his ear.  

Sansa Stark stands by Theon Greyjoy’s pyre, crying.  You can’t help but think of all the horror they both endured together at the hands of Ramsay Bolton – the one person who best understood what Sansa has been through is now gone. She places her Direwolf sigil pin in his vest.  Awww, Theon has officially been redeemed in the eyes of the Starks.

After everybody has had the chance to pay their respects, the camera zooms out and we see the enormity of the casualites – rows and rows of multi-leveled funeral pyres stretch across the battlefield.

Jon Snow gives a heartfelt speech and reminds all the survivors of their honor and duty to keep the legacy alive of the brave men and women who died to ensure the safety of humankind. The pyres are lit, and the gigantic cloud of smoke they emit is immense.

With the mass funeral behind them, it’s time for everybody to celebrate their survival with a grand feast in the Great Hall.  Bran Stark, Sansa, Jon, and Daenerys are all steated at the VIP table for the festivities, though Daenerys won’t even look at Jon.  Arya’s absence is noticed by Gendry, who asks everybody he knows if they’ve seen her.  

As Gendry walks past the VIP table, Queen Dany calls him out.  It’s a tense moment as she asks him “Hey, aren’t you the son of Robert Baratheon? You know, the dude who tried to have me killed?” Gendry cautiously replies, “Um…well, about that, see, I didn’t even know my pops and I only recently even found out he was my dad, so…” and then Dany’s all “Dude, I’m just messing with you.” She makes him Lord of Storm’s End – which is apparently a title that is totally up for grabs, and she also tells him he’s not a bastard anymore. Because. She. Said. So.  She also decrees that it’s time for the realm to have access to hand-crafted coffee drinks from entirely different universes and everybody hails both Queen Dany and Gendry, Lord of Storm’s End.  Tyrion leans over to Dany and praises her on the smart move:  It’s both a fitting reward for a war hero and will ensure Gendry’s line will always be loyal to her.

Across the room, Jaime Lannister convinces Brienne of Tarth to let loose and drink a bit, seeing how they have fought Death and survived.  

Meanwhile Tyrion and Davos share a quick chat about Melisandre and the Lord of Light thing that was, actually, weirdly accurate -  and now  it’s all over without much rhyme or reason.  Thanks for acknowledging my feelings, GOT writers, because, yes, it does seem odd that we would have so much cool prophecy-driven stuff and have it suddenly vanish.  Tyrion cynically states that even though the Dead may be gone, they still have people to contend with – and humans are doing a pretty decent job in destroying themselves without the help of the Night King.

Tyrion makes his way to Bran and I can’t help wondering what conversation these two had the night before the battle.  When he points out that Bran’s abilities as the hard drive for their world’s memories will surely serve him well as the Lord of Winterfell, Bran shrugs it off, saying he’s not a Lord, and honestly doesn’t have need for wants in this world as he pretty much spends most of his time in the past.  Gah, I really want to see more time jumps!!! I’m really hoping that Bran’s nifty warging days continue and that they will have a role to play in the following two episodes.

As the men and women continue to celebrate and drink heavily, Tormund Giantsbane gives a toast to the Dragon Queen, who in turn toasts the absent Arya Stark as the true hero of Winterfell that she is.  Meanwhile, Tyrion joins Jaime, Brienne and Podrick Payne for a rousing drinking game.

The night wears on and Tormund  is sloshed out of his mind.  He boistrously sings Jon’s praises, listing his many daring accomplishments and at one point Tormund even roars “Who flies a dragon?  A madman!  Or a king!!” and the room breaks out in cheers.  Daenerys ain’t liking it.   She sulks in the corner and gives major side eye to Jon and his group of pals who are all having a blast as she sits alone and friendless.  Varys looks on with suspicious concern.  She rises with a resentful scowl and exits the hall.

Brienne, Podrick and the Lannister bros thoroughly enjoy their drinking game until Tyrion pulls an a-hole move by speculating about Brienne’s virginity.  It’s very Breakfast Club-y  (“Answer the question, Claire!”) and it sobers Brienne up real quick.  She excuses herself and walks off.  Jaime follows after her.

Sansa spies the Hound and joins him for a chat.  At first he’s his usual gruff self, but he soon comes to realize just how much Sansa has changed since her time in King’s Landing.   He points out that she could have been spared all the torment she’s lived through, if only she had trusted him and left King’s Landing with him the night of the battle at the Blackwater.  Sansa – boss that she is – goes full Christina Aguilera and tells him how all those hardships made her stronger and the woman that she is today. It’s really an awesome scene and solidifies why the Hound is one of my faves and also how savvy and confident Sansa has become since the start of the series.

Gendry leaves the hall and finds Arya, shooting arrows by herself in the courtyard.  He shares the news of his Lordship with her and before you know it, he’s professing his love for her and bends his knee to propose that she become his wife and the Lady of Storm’s End. Aw, Gendry! That’s sweet, but that’s also not Arya’s jam at all.  She lets him down super easy, and while it’s kind of a bummer these two aren’t going to settle down and make babies together, it’s totally the right move. Hold on, though – maybe they already HAVE made a baby together?!  I know it seems a bit far-fetched to throw that log onto the storyline fire with just a few episodes left, but it could be an actual possibility.  Just sayin’.

With the festivities winding down, errbody is looking for a booty call.  Jaime comes a knockin’ on Brienne’s door to do some serious follow up on the question about her virginity.  They hook up and it’s the first time for them both – for Jaime it’s the first time sleeping with a knight…and probably also somebody who isn’t related to him.  For Brienne, it’s the first time sleeping with a dude with a golden prosthetic – which might come in rather…handy.  Also, she is a virgin.  Well, she was.  ‘Till Jaime gave her a hand in that department.  Ok, I’ll stop.

As Jon sits in his room, there’s a knock on the door.  It’s Daenerys and he invites her in.  She gets super vulnerable with him and tells him she loves him.   Things start to heat up and they make out until Jon remembers that she’s his aunt.  Weirdly, it spoils the moment.  Dany wishes he had never told her the truth about his parents, and she begs him to keep it a secret. Jon reasons that he has to tell his family and he downplays the significance of putting the truth out into the world for everybody to know. Danerys counters that this will destroy them and he has a choice, but is being a d-bag about it.  “Ugh, why can’t you just go along with my awesome plan to live in blissful repression so I can be queen and everything stays amazing?!” She leaves in a huff.  I’m so torn by the stuff going on with Dany.  The writers are turning her into this unlikeable, selfish, pouty brat.  On the one hand, I feel she is justified to feel and act the way she does.  On the other hand, she’s making a lot of poor and rash decisions lately and really isn’t winning people over.  She needs a PR overhaul to get her mojo back, stat.  

The next day in the War Room, all the important people are discussing strategy as it pertains to knocking Cersei off her Iron Throne.  Daenerys has lost half her Dothraki and Unsullied troops.  Same for Jon and the Northerners.  They are now at an even balance with Cersei’s fighters which include the Golden Company.  Yara Greyjoy has managed to take back the Iron Islands, so Dany has her support. Dorne also stands behind Daenerys’ claim to the throne, because they hate Cersei’s guts.  Daenerys points out that is doesn’t matter that she has half of Westeros’s support if  Cersei remains in power in the capital – she must be removed.  And Dany’s gut instinct is to completely annihilate King’s Landing.

Lord Varys points out that it’s not the best move to kill thousands of innocent people, if they can find a better way to remove Cersei from power.  Tyrion suggests they make use of the Greyjoy fleet and cut off all food from coming into King’s Landing – he’s seen the people revolt against their monarch on their own in the past.  If they show the starving plebians what a crappy leader Cersei is, they’ll handle her  downfall on their own.  He also suggests that Daenerys offer Cersei a bargain, wherein the current queen can keep her life if she steps down without a fight.  At first Dany bristles at the idea, but she agrees to this plan, if only because it will make Daenerys look good to the people of King’s Landing that she attempted to broker a deal with Cersei to minimize the suffering of the common folk.

Sansa speaks up and says that her men – aka the North – need time to rest and heal from the battle against the Night King.  Daenerys snaps back like a petulant child. “Excuse me?? We need to attack my enemies NOW. I lent my forces for the Winterfell battle – and now that it’s time to pony up the North’s soldiers for my pet project of conquering the realm, you don’t wanna do it yet? What do we say to the God of stalling for time?  NOT TODAY, BIATCH!” Jon interjects that they’ll give Dany whatever she wants, when she wants, and both his sisters shoot him a look.   Ugh, I think it’s a really dumb decision on Daenerys’s part, and it is really solidifying her continued descent into becoming an unreasonable tyrant.  Plus, it’s not winning her any favor among the Northerners, which she badly needs. Really, what’s the harm in waiting another week or two?

Everybody agrees that Jon and the Northern army will march south along the King’s Road.  Meanwhile, Dany and her Unsullied will head to White Harbor and sail back to Dragonstone.  As everybody leaves the room, only the Stark siblings are left behind and Arya grabs Jon’s arm. “We need a word, bro.”

In the Godswood, Bran, Sansa, Arya and Jon all talk about how Sansa and Arya don’t trust Daenerys. But why?!  Cause she’s not family.  Ooooo-kay? Jon argues that’s a pretty stupid reason (I agree), as you can’t go far in life if you don’t widen the circle of trust beyond your kin. When Arya remarks the four of them are the last of the Starks and they need to stick together, Jon says he isn’t really a Stark.  Both sisters tell him that they see Jon as their brother, not their half-bro or a bastard.  Jon’s face is all “Oh, crap.  Maaaan, do I need to get this out now???”  “Dude, it’s your call,” says Bran.  And then Jon spills the beans.  Or rather, he swears his sisters to secrecy and then makes Bran fill them in on the details of his true parents.  Sadly, we viewers don’t get to see that part, so I’m left to imagine Bran pulling out a powerpoint presentation with a venn diagram of two circles that say “People Jon is related to” and “People Jon has slept with.”

The Lannister bros are chilling in one of the parlors at Winterfell, when who should walk in, but Bronn of the Blackwater – crossbow in hand.  Tyrion and Jaime ask him what’s up and Bronn tells him of Cersei’s plan to have him assassinate the two of them for a handsome reward.  Only problem is that Bronn doubts Cersei will win the war against Daenerys, and then she won’t be able to pay up.  When Tyrion reminds Bronn of their mutual understanding that Tyrion will double any amount that Bronn is offered to kill him, they reach an agreement. Jaime and Tyrion can live, and at the end of it all, when Dany takes over as queen, Bronn gets to be Lord of Highgarden – formerly the home of House Tyrell.  I don’t really think Tyrion is in any position to make this offer, but it gets the job done and Bronn is out of the picture till the fighting is through.  He’s always wanted that Castle, and now he may actually get it.  Huzzah for Bronn!

Outside Winterfell, the Hound is on a solo ride, when Arya shows up on horseback and joins him. They both disclose that they are each headed to King’s Landing for some unfinished business with no intention of returning to Winterfell.  And since these two travel so well as a duo, they agree to make the trek together. When the Hound asks Arya if she’ll leave him to die again, should he get hurt she quips “Probobaly.”  He grins and they trot off side by side.  It’s such a good scene.  These two are #FriendshipGoals. My guess is the Hound means to kill his big Frankenbrother, the Mountain.  And Arya, obviously, must be planning to murder Queen Cersei.  Hopefully she’ll do it disguised as Jaime and give Cersei the shock of her life when she ends it.  

From the ramparts, Sansa watches Queen Dany take off with her dragons.  Tyrion approaches and asks “What’s wrong, Buttercup?  How come you don’t like my queenie?”  Sansa considers things for a while and then goes “What if I told you there was a better choice?” Ruh-roh, don’t trust Sansa with your secrets, y’all!  Gurl is savage when it comes to pushing her agenda.  It’s a calculated move on her part, but damn, that is a major betrayal to Jon. I wonder what it’ll do to their relationship.

In the courtyard, Jon is ready to hit the road and bids farewell to Tormund.  His wildling pal is over life south of the Wall, and plans to head back North once the winter storms calm down.  Jon tells him to take Ghost, too.  WTF, Jon!  Rude.  Sam and Gilly say goodbye and reveal that Gilly is preggers.  Yay, Sam will have a legit heir for House Tarly…I mean…if they tie the knot, I guess. They’d better hop to it.  Then Jon gets on his horse and trots off without so much as a belly rub or a pat on the head for poor Ghost who just looks at him like, “Wow.  Ok, so all those times I saved your ass, and protected your dead body and saved your friend AND then ran like a madwolf into a horde of Dead for you…that meant nothing? Screw you, Jon Snow.  P.S. I peed on your entire collection of hair ties. See ya never.”

Dany’s fleet is on the home stretch with Dragonstone in sight. Tyrion and Varys are aboard one of the ships and discuss Jon’s secret and what it means for the future of the realm. Varys questions Daenerys’ state of mind and Tyrion sticks up for her.  Grasping onto hope that Dany and Jon might be able to get married and rule in harmony, Varys shuts it down.  “He can’t marry his aunt, dude!  He’s from the North and that just ain’t cool.  You think his people would stand for that union?”  But Tyrion lobbies hard for Dany and tells Varys she needs guidance from her trusted advisors.  Varys just gives him resting eunuch face.

Above in the skies, Dany flies on Drogon while Rhaegal soars nearby and the dragons both shriek out happy dragon sounds at the sight of their home when…THWACK!  Out of nowhere a spear pierces Rhaegal’s chest.  And then another comes at him.  Holy moles!  Euron’s fleet has been lying in wait and each ship is outfitted with a giant dragon-killing spear launcher.  More shots are fired and Rhaegal gets it in the wing and goes down, crashing into the water below.  Dany is furious and steers Drogon straight at Euron – pure rage burning in her eyes. This is exactly what Euron wants.  He readies the next spear and aims it at her.  But when the spears are launched, Daenerys manages to dodge out of the way and changes course away from the reach of the weapons.  Next, Euron turns the spears on Dany’s fleet, completely destroying all her boats.   Survivors – including Tyrion and Grey Worm –make it ashore, but Grey Worm soon notices that Missandei is missing.

In King’s Landing, Cersei watches from her balcony as commoners file into the Red Keep – she plans to use them as human shields.  Should Daenerys try to lay fiery waste to Cersei and the Red Keep, she’ll have to do so at the expense of the death of several thousands of innocents.  Not a great way to gain the love of the masses, Dany. Euron is there, too, and confirms that Dany’s one dragon was killed.  Cersei smiles smugly and tells  Euron how their child will rule both the land and sea.  Nice way to break the news to him – even if it’s a lie.  Euron is delighted that he’s knocked her up and secured his spot as future king.  As Cersei saunters away, we see she’s taken Missandei as her prisoner.  Ugh, Cersei is such a ruthless biatch.  I don’t understand why she wants to be queen if she doesn’t give a crap about her subjects and hates to be an actual leader to her people.  Seriously, she should just go and be a filthy rich Real Housewife of Casterly Rock and day drink all the time – it would be so less stressful and her quality of life would improve immensely.  

In the War Room at Dragonstone, Daenerys, Varys, Grey Worm and Tyrion all discuss next steps.   Both Dany and Grey Worm are out for revenge and are driven by their emotions, due to Missandei being kidnapped.  Grew Worm pushes for them to storm the city with no regard for the thousands of civilians who will die in the process.  Varys advises strongly not to do this and Dany gets a frightning look in her eye as she says it’s her destiny to free the world from tyrants – no matter the cost.  Somebody call Alanis Morissette because we really need to work this into her “Ironic” song.  “It’s like killing 10,000 peeeeeeeps, so you can be their beloved queen…”

In the Dragonstone throne room, Varys and Tyrion are in for more hand-wringing as they discuss the Daenerys/Jon problem.  Ultimately, Varys has lost faith in the dragon queen and he’s ready to bet all his chips on Jon.  He questions her ability to keep a cool head and worries she’ll get more ruthless and impulsive with more power.  When Tyrion protests that Jon doesn’t even want to be king, and can’t they just rule together, Varys dismisses it as an option.  In the end, Tyrion chooses to stand by his queen and do what a good advisor SHOULD do.   Varys, however, is ready to board the treason train.  When Tyrion asks Varys what would become of Dany, Varys just give him a look.  “Don’t do it, dude.” – “I’ve made my choice – now you make yours”, says Varys.  Oh man.  We already know Varys is gonna bite it, due to Melisandre’s prediction last season. I’m betting Dany is going to find out about his plotting and have him killed.  

Word of Daenerys’s ambush is delivered to Sansa.  When Jaime approaches her, she fills him in and adds “I always wanted to see your sis get executed – looks like I won’t have the chance. Tsk, tsk.”  That evening, Jaime leaves Brienne’s warm bed and saddles up a horse in the courtyard.  When Brienne notices he’s gone, she runs outside and begs him to stay. She believes he intends to save Cersei from Dany’s wrath.  Jaime won’t be persuaded and he gallops off as Brienne sobs, heartbroken. Personally, I think he might just go and try to kill Cersei himself – because, prophecies.  That is, unless Arya beats him to it.  Oooh, maybe he’ll get to King’s Landing just in time to see Arya disguised as him…killing Cersei.  Whaaaaat?  Mind blown. It could happen.

Outside the walls of the Red Keep, Daenerys and Cersei have a parlay.  Cersei stands on her ramparts – which have several dragon-spearing weapons set up – along with Missandei and the Mountain.  Both Hands of the Queen, Qyburn and Tyrion, meet up.  Tyrion informs Qyburn that Dany demands Cersei’s unconditional surrender and that Missandei be released immediately.  Qyburn placidly parrots nearly the same demand back to Tyrion:  Cersei demands Daenerys’s unconditional surrender and if she doesn’t, Missandei will die on the spot.  As Tyrion attempts to reason with Qyburn, he can see it’s pointless and he bypasses him, trotting right up to the gates to talk to his sister directly.  

When Tyrion approaches, Cersei’s archers all pull back their bows, ready to shoot him and oh my goodness, I’m so worried that Tyrion is about to get killed!  Cersei raises her hand, and after a good long moment of  trepidation, she gives her men the signal to stand down.  Whew!  Tyrion appeals to Cersei’s one good side – her loving nature as a mother – and he tells her she and her child don’t have to die if they cut a deal.  She can end her rule, and still have a great life with her child.  But Cersei ain’t having it.  She walks over to Missandei, who stands dangerously close to the edge of the wall. Cersei leans in and places a hand on her arm – is she going to push her?! Will she release her?! Nah, instead she tells Missandei this is her chance for some final words.  Ugh! WHY?  Missandei tearfully stares out at her Queen and Grey Worm and in a cracked voice calls out “DRACARYS!” The Mountain draws his sword and in one fell blow, chops off Missandei’s head while Daenerys looks on in helpless horror.  Her shock turns into pure simmering rage as Daenerys turns away and storms off.  And roll credits.

Ruh to the roh! This episode was rough! Poor Missandei. And poor Grey Worm!  I mean, I did assume one of them was going to die by the end of the series, but my money was on Grey Worm.  RIP Missandei!  I’m so upset that Daenerys is losing her most trusted people who love and support her completely.  I’m not happy at all that the show really seems to be setting her up for a total Mad Queen downward spiral.  Say it ain’t so.

I can’t say I really liked this episode, though I guess it was a necessary one to get all the pieces into place for the last two episodes.  I found it hopped all over the place to get as much stuff in as possible and tie up lots of characters’ stories.   I just hate all the things Dany did in this episode and it feels like a total betrayal to the viewer, if I may say so.  They just had her be this pouty, impulsive and manipulative person who makes a lot of dumb choices. If this is all meant to lay the groundwork to make her seem more and more power hungry and unstable, then well-done, but it doesn’t seem true to her nature at all and feels a bit like a cop out. Unless the writers just WANT us to believe they are going down that track and then they’ll surprise us all. Ahhh, the GOT mind games are messing with me.

Also, I really hope Arya gets to kill Cersei and I’m thinking maybe she’ll even help the Hound kill his bro – because Cleganebowl is starting to look like a sure thing here, right?  I kinda feel like Arya will die by the end of the series, because all four Stark siblings can’t possibly survive, can they?

I’m getting super excited for the big battle episode next week and I’m hoping it doesn’t leave me as disappointed as “The Long Night” in its resolution.  Hang in there, friends, and I’ll see ya next week!

ygritte, jaime lannister for 003 of the ask thing?

003 - Ygritte

How I feel about this character: I love her - her grit, her honesty, her ruthlessness, her bravery and how she always stays true to what she believes in. 

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Jon.

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: Sadly, Ygritte didn’t really have many friends so I suppose it’d be Tormund. I also would’ve been very interested to see her have a friendship with Arya. 

My unpopular opinion about this character: I’m not sure if this is unpopular or not but I always considered Ygritte to be a very rigid character that was incapable of change or bettering herself. The quote “Wildling to the bone” is a very accurate description of her. Although I admired her for staying strong in her convictions, that stubbornness and inability to empathise or see beyond her own truth was a huge character flaw. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I would have liked to have known more about her past and for her to leave the north to get a glimpse of the rest of the world that was so far removed from the wild north where she had always lived. 

Favorite friendship for this character: Jon. He was her friend and lover, so that’s why I choose Jon. 

My crossover ship: I don’t have one.

003 - Jaime 

How I feel about this character: I think he’s a brilliant character with so much depth. Jaime is representative of what makes GOT/ASOIAF characters so great because he’s a multi-layered and flawed human that is neither good nor evil, but somewhere in between, sometimes leaning more to one side than the other. 

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Cersei and Brienne. I also kinda dig the idea of him and Sansa. 

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: Tyrion.

My unpopular opinion about this character: Jaime is not as good a person as some people seem to think he is. The awful acts committed by other characters (Cersei, Ramsay, Joffrey etc.) overshadows what he has done so that it doesn’t seem as bad, but I will never forget or forgive what he did to Bran. Without hesitation or considering the other options (he could’ve verbally threatened Bran not to tell anyone what he saw, he likely would’ve listened as a terrified child. Plus, at that age how much did he really understand what he saw?), he pushed a frightened, confused and scared child from a window to protect his own wrongdoings. It was unjust and cruel and led to Bran being paralysed for the rest of his life, which was a huge trauma for him (and his family) and has hindered his life in so many ways. I also don’t truly think that Jaime has ever made up for what he did for Bran. He has been punished in other ways - being a prisoner for a time and having his hand cut off - but he has yet to specifically make amends for the suffering he has caused Bran. Since he will be in Winterfell in season 8, I think there’s a high chance he will finally have the chance to make amends, and I’d definitely like to see that happen. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: That he will finally break free from Cersei (which I’m certain will happen by the end of the series). 

Favorite friendship for this character: Bronn.

My crossover ship: I don’t have one (sorry, crossover ships aren’t really my thing).

Thanks for asking, lovely! 

Why Does Jonsa Make Complete Political Sense?

Trying to make sense of the puzzle and how it could inform the endgame.

This is a long one.

*Spoiler* I think it is a Jon Snow / Sansa Stark marriage. Even if you don’t agree that the story has foreshadowed this or that the scenes between Jon and Sansa were written with a romantic subtext...it will be the only logical political solution for the story.

First, a quick refresher on the changes Westeros has already undergone.

Season 1 / Episode 1

Season 3 / Episode 9&10 (post-Red Wedding)

Season 6 / Episode 9&10 (post BoTB and Jon Snow named KiTN)

Season 7 / Episode 1 (colored by alliances. Light blue for the North, Red for the Lannisters, Gray for the Targaryens)

Season 7 / Episode 7

Season 7 / Episode 7 ASSUMING JON’S ALLEGIANCE IS TRULY WITH DANY

So right off the bat, we can make a few observations: 

1.) Daenerys and Tyrion horribly mismanaged their territorial and military advantage. Dany had a much stronger army. She had the allegiance of the breadbasket of Westeros, and she had an ally in Dorne that should have been completely geographically protected and resources that so far have been untouched by the other wars of Westeros. It’s hard for me to even count “capturing” Casterly Rock as it was a trap sprung by Jaime and the Unsullied were forced to abandon it anyway after the Greyjoy fleet hemmed them there.

2.) How does Daenerys not immediately secure the Stormlands to link the Reach and Dorne? It’s essentially leaderless and sandwiched between her two initial vassals. 

3.) How does Daenerys fail to try to ally with the Vale? What a no-brainer of an ally. The reality is that the Vale very likely would have said no, as the Vale is similar to the North as they will never trust a Targaryen, but how was the Vale not even a part of her strategy?

4.) What in the heck is Daenerys worried about Cersie “re-taking” again? She holds no territorial advantage. Highgarden’s resources went over the Lannisters. Dorne is leaderless, like the Stormlands, and cannot contribute to her cause (it’s also unclear whether they would even want to after how badly bungled that alliance worked out for Dorne). The Riverlands are still occupied by the Lannisters, another extremely useful ally tossed to the wayside.

5.) Is this because the show doesn’t care about these other territories? Maybe, but the show has made a point of showing these other places already and explaining their strategic importance. I see it more as a failure by Daenerys to care about anything other than capturing the Iron Throne, and a failure by Tyrion to think about anything else other than removing Cersei from power.

6.) Even if they had captured the Iron Throne in season 7, there is absolutely no chance of a united Westeros because of how they played the game. Dorne is leaderless, killed almost immediately after allying with the new Queen. The Stormlands remain leaderless. The Riverlands are held by the Lannisters and weren’t relieved by the Targaryen forces - why exactly would they be loyal to her? The North is only allied with Daenerys to fight the Night King. The same with the Vale. There’s no interest in the politics of the South. The main point is that at this current moment, Daenerys has absolutely no political influence beyond Jon Snow allying with her to fight the Night King. She only has a strong army. She doesn’t have the loyalty of the people of Westeros.

7.) Dany’s only real political support is from Jon. She is entirely dependent on the North and the Vale for her political power now. That also means she is entirely dependent on Sansa Stark...both before RLJ is revealed but most definitely after RLJ is revealed.

This is where it gets really tricky for Daenerys. She had a great opportunity to win some influence with the other houses of Westeros to back her claim as the Queen.

R+L=J becoming known will prevent that from ever happening.

Could she ever be looked to politically after season 7? She aided no allies. She hasn’t gained any territorial advantage. Cersei Lannister, the most hated person in Westeros by the time she was crowned, has gained more allies since Daenerys landed.

Now the idea of her legitimacy, which was the biggest talking point that she and Tyrion had in her “campaign” is gone. Not only that, but the only person to swear allegiance to her that still has any political power actually supersedes her for the throne.

That covers the territorial game. What about the prominent characters? Who actually holds political influence now?

The Lannister allies

Cersei LannisterThe MountainQyburnEuron Greyjoy Golden Company / Iron Bank

The Northern/Targaryen Alliance

Jon Snow

Daenerys Targaryen

Sansa Stark

Arya Stark

Bran Stark

The Brotherhood (Hound, Beric, etc.)

Gendry

Tormund

Brienne

Tyrion

Jaime

Edmure Tully

Yohn Royce / Robin Arryn

Theon Greyjoy / Yara Greyjoy

Davos 

Varys

The Unsullied

Missandei

Melissandre / Kinvara / the Red Priestesses

So pretty much anyone can see from a CHARACTER perspective that this is not a storytelling fight that Cersei is likely to win. Easy win from a storytelling perspective on who will triumph.

We have the Night King coming and a completely overmatched adversary that only has allies that we don’t emotionally care about or haven’t even been introduced yet. So you’re telling me those are the big finale conflicts? An enemy in the Night King who has no narrative nuance and a few humans that no one cares about?

So I looked at where another conflict could develop. We have the two characters that are widely viewed as the two “heroes” of the story: Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen.

I looked at the Northern/Targaryen Alliance and this pops out: 

There aren’t any characters with political power that are loyal to Daenerys other than Jon Snow right now.

Sansa - loyal to Jon Tormund - loyal to Jon Jaime - loyalties changing. Tried to kill Daenerys. Much more like to fight for Sansa/Jon Edmure Tully - loyal to the Starks, most likely his sister’s daughter Sansa Yohn Royce - wanted to name Sansa Queen in the North. Loyal to Sansa. Theon - asked Jon about saving Yara. Didn’t consult Daenerys. Special bond with Sansa. Loyal to Jon and Sansa. Tyrion, Varys, the Unsullied, Missandei, and the Red Priestesses have no political power.

Why would it matter anyway? Jon and Daenerys will just unite them and it’ll all work out!

R+L=J explodes all of Daenerys’ relevant Westerosi support and shifts the game dramatically to Sansa.

“Oh c’mon, that’s just shipping goggles talking.”

Reasons why thinking this is based on shipping shows your inherent inability to understand narratives and story themes:

The North does not want a Southern ruler

Jon’s claim as KiTN is based on being the son of Ned Stark

The North especially does not trust Targaryens

The is a story of the political fracture of the North and South amidst an existential threat

This is not a story of how the best killers become the best rulers

Jon Snow’s hold on the North will be tenuous after RLJ is revealed

Sansa Stark becomes the most powerful political Northerner due to RLJ and the only way this doesn’t happen is if Bran decides to becomes a political figure

Daenerys’ political stature with every potential Westerosi subject goes down dramatically

THE GAME HAS SHIFTED COMPLETELY

Let’s refer back to the season 7 / episode 7 political map:

The shaded blue area loyal to Jon becomes ENTIRELY DEPENDENT ON SANSA STARK to remain loyal to Jon.

If Cersei Lannister falls...it gets even uglier for Daenerys.

It’s entirely plausible that:

Riverlands return to the Tully’s - loyal to Sansa, possibly Jon, not Daenerys

The Reach goes to Samwell - (assuming he is done with the Night’s Watch) he would be the rightful heir. Loyal to Jon. Father and brother burned to death by Daenerys.

Stormlands - could go to Gendry. It’s at least plausible. It wouldn’t make sense for any other character to serve in that role in the present time anyway. Loyal to Jon, pre-existing relationship with Arya, son of Robert Baratheon. No loyalty to Daenerys.

Iron Islands - returned to either Theon or Yara. “You’re a Greyjoy, and you’re a Stark.” Loyal to the Starks. Maayyyyybe lingering loyalty to Daenerys...but why would they?

Westerlands - good chance only one of Tyrion or Jaime survive. If it’s Jaime, loyal to anyone but Daenerys. Most likely loyal to Sansa through Brienne and Cat. If Tyrion, maybe he remains loyal to Daenerys - even though there were layers and layers of seeds of doubt shown between Daenerys and Tyrion...but this remains her best shot for support long-term.

These are all plausible because, as yet, the show has presented no other realistic options for rulers of these different regions and it’s unlikely that the show will strip them all of political power in the “breaking the wheel” sense.

Where is Daenerys’ claim as Queen? Where is her support? She’s not the heir and she doesn’t command the loyalties of these different houses.

Let’s look at another version of the map...this time assuming Cersei falls, the houses that control those regions, and their primary loyalties.

Jon as the Targ sigil, Sansa as the Stark sigil (I know it’s the white wolf version, shut up), and Dany as....herself.

The North - the Starks

The Iron Islands - Jon or Sansa, highly unlikely Dany

Riverlands - Sansa

Vale - Sansa

The Reach - Jon

Stormlands - Jon

Dorne - unknown. Generously saying maybe Dany.

Westerlands - unknown. Generously saying maybe Dany but only if both Tyrion survives and her relationship with Tyrion survives.

So a union which two characters would automatically make the most political sense?

Assuming a combined Targ/Stark sigil...here’s how the map looks.

Before, the Reach and Stormlands would be most likely for Jon --  the Riverlands and Vale would be most likely for Sansa, the Iron Islands would be potentially for both while Dorne and the Westerlands would be unclear.

Now, you have the North, the Iron Islands, the Riverlands, the Vale, the Crownlands, the Reach, the Stormlands solidly united with the Westerlands and Dorne still to be determined.

So, if you still think this is based strictly on shipping goggles, this is a definitive theory that logically reconnects Westeros and repairs the fractured relationship of the North and the South. If you are unable to see why this makes sense and how it could happen, it’s more of an indication that you are not willing to look at the political groundwork the series has put forward so far. 

This is logical, this is plausible. This is NOT irrational shipping. This is why Jonsa makes complete sense.

I don’t buy it - Jon isn’t “a northern fool”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!! SPOILERS FOR LEAKED EP 6 AHEAD !!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just don’t buy it. I still believe that Jon is playing Danielle (btw we are using this name so it won’t show up in the search, not as an insult), going “undercover” as he did with the wildlings, to ensure she helps against the white walkers. Want to know why? Keep reading, but I warn you this got ... very, very, very long. 

This turned, more or less, into an analysis of the entire Jon x Danielle interaction over season 7 somehow, even though it wasn’t really supposed to be that. Just to be clear about this: If you are a hardcore j0nerys shipper who doesn’t like people having different opinions.... you better stop reading right now. All nasty comments will be deleted without exception. If you see things differently and are open for a civil conversation, well don’t let me stop you. I’m not trying to “hate” on somebody else’s ship here, but as a fan of the series I can analyze and interpret the things happening. J0nery is one of the things happening right now.

They way I see it, there are three key issues to their relationships that can be seen both as motivation for them working and being together, and as distinct sources of conflict. Both internally for each character and in their interpersonal relationship. 1. the personal aspect | their personal feelings for each other, generally and specifically romantic 2. the political aspect | Jon’s duty to stand for an independent North vs Danielle's desire to rule over all Seven Kingdoms 3. the ... “end of the world” aspect | the looming threat that will end them all

At the beginning of ep3 Jon and Danielle were opposed on everyone of those issues: They didn’t know or particularly like each other, they both are relentless about their political decision, Danielle doesn’t believe him about the WW’s and/or is only ready to help under certain conditions.

At the end of ep6 these three issues seem to perfectly align, all conflict seems to be resolved: They are clearly, if not in direct words, admitting their love for each other, Jon has given up his claim on the Northern Crown, Danielle has decided to destroy the night king and his army.

This could be the natural progression of the story. My question is whether this resolution, despite being rushed, was properly portrayed, developed and flashed out over those 3 episodes. Whether the last interaction between Jon and Danielle was earned, whether Douchebag&Dumbass (they earned those nicknames by butchering Arya’s and Jaime’s character, btw) used their limited screen time to build up to this moment. After all, the (supposed) J0nerys romance is clearly meant to be the “emotional climax” of this season.

Now when you look at all their interactions over the season you notice that something is missing. Something very important when developing an intimate personal relationship such as a romance. There is no real human bonding moment for them. Though I supposed that’s not completely true. Danielle does share a few personal issues with Jon, but we never hear Jon talk about anything personal and/or private with her. 

This starts in their first interaction when Danielle talks about her hardships, while Jon keeps shut about his and when she later talks about their dead brothers and Jon doesn’t really respond to the topic. This pattern persists when she asks for his advice on the beach, clearly indicating that she came to value and respect his opinion, while he is resisting to give her a clear answer, responding only with a vague statement praising her previous achievements and alluding to her potential. He doesn’t just outright says what he thinks, as he has f  If he was sure about Danielle having a “good heart” and trusts her, wouldn’t he feel free to just speak his mind? But it seems he’s afraid of saying the wrong thing, worried about alienating or offending her. Which makes sense, he is in a very vulnerable position right now, basically her prisoner, and needs her to be on his side. Pissing her off is the last things he would need. 

The interesting thing about the cave scene is that while it is shot as the most “romantic” scene for those two characters - the location, the lighting, the dramatic music score, EC’s line reading - they don’t really talk about anything personal in it. Not really. Their shared appreciation of the locations historical significance makes for a bit of a human connection, I guess, Danielle is definitely guilty of some heart-eyes, Jon puts on a more sympathetic face as well, but despite what EC’s voice is trying to tell you: The topic of this conversation is neither personal nor romantic. It ends with their thus far unresolved conflict: To kneel or not to kneel, that is the question. 

The dragon petting session was definitely a moving moment for Danielle and finally Jon being a secret targ means ... something. But Jon makes it pretty clear that his targ-blood doesn’t immediately make him regard dragons as cute pets. When his statement about them offends Danielle, he corrects himself and calls them “gorgeous beasts”. Again, she is sharing something personal and important - her connection to her dragons - but Jon doesn’t respond with an equally meaningful story. It’s obvious that he doesn’t approve of her actions - wait until he finds out about the Tarlys - so their one-on-one conversation ends on a conflicted note. I’m pretty sure that Jorah views heartthrob Jon Snow as a potential love rival (what man wouldn’t?), but I don’t think that Jon looks jealous at all. Mostly confused about the weird, old, know slaver that just showed up.

When Bran’s letter arrives, Danielle is trying to strike a more personal tone by telling Jon she’s happy for him, but Jon is going straight back into politics and EotW territory. This would have been a perfect opportunity for Jon to show his “human” side a little bit more. Forgetting about everything else for a minute, sharing ... something, just something about his long lost siblings with the supposed love of his life. But nothing, straight back to White Walker talk. Danielle is obviously worried about Jon going on this stupid ass mission, I have no doubt in my mind that she is head over heels for him at this point. But Jon? He calls her a stranger. He asserts his position as king (Y’all are disappointing Tywin this season) and makes it clear that she can’t force him to stay on this island. Danielle is obviously in too deep to care about it anymore. (It’s a shame Dickon never had a chance to seduce her... ). 

Last, but not least their farewell scene  She states that she has grown fond of him, while Jon is keeping the conversation proper and formal. While Danielle is longingly looking after him, Jon doesn’t turn around. This fact is even more emphasized by Jorah’s presence who does take a last long look at the woman he loves, whom he might never see again. Why not have Jon do the same? Why not have Jorah turning around only to see them two exchange a long meaningful look, causing some love-triangle tension? Don’t tell me that Douchebag & Dumbass would be “above” this. 

Compare it to Jon meeting Gendry. They talk about their fathers (why Gendry has come to care so much for his sperm donor is anybody’s guess, btw), joke a bit and connect. Jorah and Jon have a similar conversation about their fathers in ep6. We have an interaction like this for most, if not all characters who are forced to or decide to work together. We see this with Tyrion & Jorah, Sansa & Bran, Bronn & Jaime, Tormund & the Hound, Brienne & Arya etc etc. Because in order for us to care about the bond two people share, we need to see that bond being formed. We need characters to tell each other about their feelings, experiences, opinions, families, traumas, etc. for us to get emotionally involved with their relationship. We simply have no interaction between them where they connect as human beings. Especially Jon never brings up any private issues. We never see them actually getting know each other as people. Which is so so odd. If their love story and relationship was this important to the overall story, wouldn’t they want to make sure we get emotionally involved in it? 

They could have easily written in Jon telling Danielle about his “father”. This is a difficult topic for them, considering the rebellion and stuff, but he brings up good old Ned to almost every single person he talks to. Jon has some serious daddy-issues and it would make sense for him to defend his father to Danielle. To make her see that he wasn’t the kind of man who sends assassin after newborn children. But not once do we see him go “I can’t speak to Robert and you might not want to hear this, but my father was the most honorable dudebro in all the seven kingdoms, blah blah.” Btw, why did Varys never tell her that Ned quit his job because he didn’t agree with Robert? He could have chimed in, overhearing them “by accident” and tell that story. Them having a conversation about Danielle’s father, the rebellion, this conflict and tension between their houses would have given real depth to their relationship. I would even consider them sorting out these issues a key requirement for them to even have a healthy, mutually loving relationship. Why were they never brought up? Why do we never see Jon talk about anything that matters to him as a person, other than the threat beyond the Wall and his duties as king? 

What I’m trying to say is that their personal interactions are biased toward Danielle. She has made obvious heart eyes, talked about personal issues and showed that she gained trust in Jon. I’m not saying that Jon isn’t attracted to her or dislikes her completely. But, at least everyone should be able to admit that up until their goodbye in episode 5  Danielle looks a lot, like a hella lot, more love-struck than Jon. Even if one could argue that Jon has his moments where he shoots her a tender look, the disparity is pretty apparent.

But then in ep6 immediately after Jon wakes up on Danielle’s ship (btw, at least Jon didn’t decide to ditch WF for KL by his own choice. Of course Douchebag&Dumbass had to put him straight on a boat, because as so many people - me included - pointed out: It makes no sense for him to want to go. He should have want to go to WF by all means, home to his family and his people, preparing them for the threat that is getting really fucking close), he basically hands her everything she wants on a silver platter, without any coaxing from Danielle whatsoever.

Don’t you think that’s at least a very drastic, sudden shift in his behaviour? Even if we assume that he has changed his mind about Northern Independence eg he’s willing to kneel in exchange of her help, even if we assume that he has developed serious feelings for her, why would he be the one to bring this up? Why would he be so direct about it all of a sudden? Why not wait until Danielle mentions the whole kneeling issue, hoping that maybe she’s ready to put the political struggle aside now that she’s seen the enemy with her own two eyes - as was Jon’s original plan - but still being ready to give in should she press on about it? I wouldn’t begrudge Jon for doing so, but just giving up the north by his own choosing, proclaiming her “his queen” -ugh- stands in direct contrast to his convictions so far.

What has changed? Seriously, what happened between the end of e5 and the end of ep6 that could have made Jon do a literal 180 on this topic? . Let’s look at the conversations Jon has with his suicide squad companions, shall we?

Jon talks to Tormund in Eastwatch | It’s interesting that Jon doesn’t try to distinguish between Cersei and Danielle in any way. When Tormund asks which queen he has to convince, he simply says “both”. Though I was under the impression that Danielle already believed him - maybe still a bit unaware about the true extent of the issue - and this was first and foremost to get Cersei on board. He could have said “Danielle won’t risk sending her armies north until Cersei is convinced” or something like that. If he was already in love with her and believes her to be “his queen” -ugh- wouldn’t he come to her defense? Wouldn’t he try to put the “blame” for this stupid, stupid, stupid idea firmly on Cersei?

Jon talks to the Brotherhood without Banners in their Cells | The one thing to notice here is that Jon makes it clear that nothing else matters anymore, everyone who still breathes is on the same side. We have to work with people we neither like, nor trust because all of these squabbles don’t matter anymore. The only thing that counts is defeating the Night King.

Jon talks to Jorah | This would have been the perfect opportunity to bring up Danielle. Seriously, when I saw them starting talking I was already shielding myself for some “isn’t she just amazeballs”-comments from Jorah and maybe even Jon. Simply because ... well it’s Jorah’s favourite subject in the whole world and if Jon really was jealous he could have asked some side-eyes question about his relationship with her. Jorah himself could have pulled a Tyrion a la “Kh*leesi is the most wonderful person in this world, you will see that and then call her your queen -ugh- too.” Have Jon say something a la “D*enerys, she is quite an impressive woman.”. He’s talking to someone who knows the woman he supposedly loves very well, why isn’t he prying for some information? But she isn’t a topic of conversation between them at all. Similar to many of the things mentioned above, while this scene doesn’t necessarily refute any potential romantic feelings from Jon’s side, it is clearly a missed opportunity to shift our focus on them.

Jon talks to Tormund | Danielle comes up, but again not in a personal context. Another missed opportunity to mention the emotional aspect of their relationship. Since, you know, this is Tormund. They could have easily written in a comment a la “What does a fucking dragon queen look like?” or something like this. If you need a shameless character who doesn’t care about personal boundaries and just outright asks inappropriate questions, Tormund is your man. Hell, it wouldn’t have been out of character for him to straight out ask whether “Jon’s little pecker got happy with the dragon queen while he was south. Is that why he took so long?” or something alike. But no. He only asks “so you’ve met that dragon queen?” and Jon takes the conversation into the political direction. He brings up that she’ll only help if he bends the knee and Tormund this train of thought by highlighting the Jon/Mance parallels in this situation once again.

Jon talks to Beric | His talk to Beric revolves around the whole Lord-of-light, brought-back-from-the-dead, what-are-we-fighting-for issue. Beric states that they are not fighting for some king or queen, but for life itself. Weird that Jon would proclaim a woman “his queen” -ugh- not 30 min later. Jon rehashes a line from his night’s watch vows: The shield that guards the realms of men. This is a call-back to his conversation with Half-Hand back in season 2(?), who reminded him that “we are the watcher’s on the wall” before he died and told Jon “to do what needs to be done.” Does anyone remember how Jon infiltrating the Wildlings went down? 

Looking back at the three big issues surrounding the relationship between Jon and Danielle, only two of them were brought up in their time apart: The impending threat from the dead, how fighting them is all that truly matters and Jon’s dilemma of bending the knee to get Danielle’s help. She is never mentioned as a love-interest. The personal side of this equation is not addressed between him leaving DSt and him being saved by her.

Which is weird, because ... a bunch of dudebros alone in the wilderness, some of them even talk about ladies and sex and dicks (emmy nominated writing, folks), would have been a great opportunity to bring this up. But instead the theme of Jon’s conversations seem to be “proud men and their downfalls”. Something that has been mentioned many, many times over the season. 

His conversation with Jorah (like he didn’t talk about Danielle with Jorah -kh*lessi loving- fucking mormont.) also revolves around the topic that honorable men don’t always get what they deserve. Jorah’s father was killed by his own men, Ned was executed. Plus the Mance dilemma is connected to this as well. “Pride” and “honor” are more or less the same thing when you think about it. This plays back into the “Northern fool” narrative the season has been setting up since episode one. We here about three men who found their untimely death because, or despite of, their own kind of honor. Jon has been warned by Sansa not make those same mistakes and Jon himself has admitted to coming to close to doing just that. But more on this later. 

All of Jons interactions and seeing how effective the dragons truly are explain why he has made the decision to bend the knee, at least why he’s ready to give in to her demands, not why he would actively give it up. But there were no conversations that would allude to his growing feelings for Danielle. At all. If that was the “emotional climax” of the episode, shouldn’t they put in a few things hinting at it?

I would also like to mention how very odd his behaviour after waking up was. The first thing he said wasn’t “where am I?”, it wasn’t about his uncle who just died to save him (which I would assume would be the first thing that comes to mind). It wasn’t Danielle asking him “How did you get out of there??!! We all thought you were dead.”. Before Danielle could say anything, he tells her how sorry he is about Viserions death. I’m not trying to be insensitive here, I know that her dragons are immensely important to her but to Jon? His uncle was just killed in front of his eyes, shouldn’t that be the thing he is heartbroken about? He didn’t even build any kind of personal connection to Viserion specifically. He should have started this conversation with many other things, but he very deliberately chose to start with that.

If I’m allowed to put this in colloquial terms, he is sucking up to Danielle. Just as he’s been doing in ep4 when she asks for his advice, just as he did in ep5 when he didn’t think “beautiful” was the right word to describe her “children”. This is before Danielle promises to destroy the night king with him, it seems to me that he is doing what he’s been doing for the entire season: Catering to Danielle’s feelings and wishes. Soothing her temper. Not saying the wrong words as not to alienate her. Rather than holding his tongue or beating around the bush, as he has done before, he actively says exactly what she wants to hear. And that’s exactly how that interaction progresses.

Jon establishing physical contact to create an intimate atmosphere, “using” her obvious crush on him, going a bit further by inventing a fun nickname for her, him calling her “my queen” -uuughhhh-, giving up the North and saying that what the Northern Lords want doesn’t matter because they’ll change their mind once they see how amazeballs she is. This entire conversation revolves around her, Jon only talks about things that are supposed to make her feel good. Again, there is no mention to how Jon survived. Jon apologizes for going on the dumb wight hunt ... when it wasn’t even really his idea?! Tyrion came up with the plan of catching a dead and bringing it to cersei. Why is he taking all the blame for this bullshit plot? 

Danielle isn’t taking at least some part of the blame herself “if only I had believed you, all of this wouldn’t have happened. Viserion would still be alive”. The next comment might be fueled by a bit of salt and left-over range from yesterday, so don’t take it too seriously, but “you have to see it to believe it.” sounded almost like an excuse. “Don’t apologize, it’s good this happened, this isn’t your fault. But it isn’t mine either, because how could I know?” This would be consistent with her characterisation so far. She is not willing to admit any mistakes, not even to herself. If I look back, I’m lost. But Jon doesn’t point any fingers either, not even in the most subtle way “we had to do it to convince you and cersei”... which is odd. As said above take this last paragraph with a grain of salt, because it was written with an ounce of salt.

Why would he just call her “D*ny” all of the sudden? He hasn’t called her anything but “Your Grace” until now. This comes out of nowhere. It’s pretty easy to create a narrative leading up to this moment, btw. Why not have Danielle offer to address each other on a first-name-basis? Do it on the beach when they say their farewells, Jon calls her “Your Grace” and she answers with “Daenerys is alright.” Jon only nods and turns away. At first Jon declines because of the whole (potential) political, I-can’t-love-you-because-THA-NORTH, so-I-have-to-stay-formal thingy, but after she saves his ass he calls her D*enerys for the first time. She smiles, obviously moved by this and he jokingly says “or maybe D*ny?” and the show can take it from there. Sounds a lot more romantic and a lot less random, right? It would take two lines of dialogue to make this seem a lot more natural and a lot less suspicious and ooc.

Side-note: After Danielle leaves the room and Jon opens his eyes (did he only pretend to sleep?) he looks exhausted, exasperated. Not like a man who just shared a very intimate moment with the woman he loves. It just doesn’t add up. Why is Danielle lovingly looking at his sleeping face not the last shot? 

Altogether, their “romantic relationship” is still as one-sided as it was before, only now Jon is actively pushing for it to be that way. All in all his behaviour is way over the top. It sounds like a man who’s simply trying to woo a woman for one reason or another. If they had taken it down just a nudge I would have believed it. If they had shown some restraint to either the romantic tones or the kneeling issue, I would have taken it as Jon’s genuine feelings. But this way? It’s too much, too sudden, without having a proper build up to it. It’s just not how “Jon” would act.

This is mostly what if comes down to: the romantic hints over the season were really, really on the nose - dramatic, emotional scores and line reading that do not match the tone of conversation (cave scene), or third characters spilling it out for the audience (davos), or moving deep into soap opera territory (boat scene) - but just as superficial. All these hints are thrown into our faces without properly being set up or developed. There were countless possibilities to give it some real depth and as little trust as I have in Dickheads&Douchebags writing abilities I don’t understand why they wouldn’t use them. As much as I disagree with a lot of their choices I can contemplate why they are doing stupid. The whole stupid arya vs sansa subplot is there to create some tension and drama in WF. I get it. It’s stupid as hell but I at least understand where the stupid is coming from. I know what they are trying to achieve with that stupid. But this? Half-assing the big love story of the show? The only explanation that makes some sense to me is that Jonnearrris is a red herring. 

A really well executed one, btw. Make sure the audience can’t miss it, but also prevent them from forming a real emotional connection to it. After all it is supposed to distract from the real storyline (I’m going to assume jonsa & targbowl) not compete against it. You want the audience to be shocked, but not hate you for ruining the most amazing, emotionally involving love story you’ve ever seen.

This leads me to my final conclusion: There are only two options here.

a) Dickhead & Dipshit missed out several obvious opportunities to flash out Jon’s feelings, because ... just because, and fucked up to effectively use their limited screen time to develop the grand love story of GoT. The cave scene, for all it’s romantic lighting, background music and line reading, concludes on the very political issue of northern independence. Dragon petting could have been used for Jon to make a personal statement (I have a direwolf I love and miss very much - as does the audience, btw - I wouldn’t call him “my child” but I got the connection you have going on with those lizards), instead Jon isn’t to keen of the fire breathing lizards and their conversation ends with him not being to sure what to think about her victory on the field of fire. Their goodbye scene could have been used to have them throw a last longing glance at each other, instead Danielle looks on while Jon has his back turned and doesn’t look back. Jon’s conversation with Jorah could have been used to cause and highlight some tension between them since they are “in love” with the same woman, instead it revolves around honorable, upright men and their deaths. His conversation with Tormund could have been used for some light-hearted guy-talk, as is Tormunds speciality, but instead it’s about the lives Mance could have saved if he had let go of his pride (and honor) and knelt. Again, there isn’t much in the season that would outright refute any romantic feelings from Jon’s side, he at least seems attracted to her and perhaps a bit intrigued (she is beautiful and a very fascinating woman if nothing else), but I can see missed opportunities to have Jon’s feelings mentioned or emphasized left and right. So many that it’s hard to believe Dumbass & Douchebag aren’t aware of it. If the entire season was building up to this “revelation” in ep6 and the following boatbang in ep7 wouldn’t they have used everything they got to actually build up to it? If this truly is where the show is headed, they did a very very lousy job. And don’t tell me that all the things I mentioned above would be “too cheesy” because the last Danielle / Jon scene in ep6 was fucking cheesy as hell. Btw, maybe my Jonsa-shipping-goggles make me a bit “immune” to all this, but if that’s the case, jonnearis-shipping-goggles make people overly perceptive to it as well. This accusation goes both ways.

Which leads me to the second option:

b) They didn’t mention the personal aspects of this plot point because they don’t really matter. Because things are not as they seem. They emphasize the political and “end of the world” issues in Jon’s story line and his relationship to danielle because those are the things influencing his behaviour, most importantly the drastic shift in his behaviour between leaving DSt and reuniting with Danielle on the boat on their way to the stupid stupid dragon pit meeting: He is giving up on his political agenda and uses all means possible to make sure Danielle helps them. He has learned from his predecessors mistakes (Mance not kneeling - and dying, Ned being to trustworthy - and dying, Robb falling in love with a foreign woman - losing his people - and dying) and is now using that knowledge for his advantage. There are only three possible payoffs to the “Northern fool” narrative: 1. Jon is making the same mistakes as the men he’s compared to and will suffer similar consequences (unlikely, since he is aware of that and has already broken with his mance-persona), 2. he does the same mistakes without it backlashing because Danielle is just so amazing (very unsatisfying storytelling) 3. he learned from it and doesn’t make the same mistakes. He goes along with everything she wants, tries to win her over by all means possible because what he said is true “D*enerys is their last hope”. Not only in this specific event of stupidly getting trapped by the Army of the Dead in the middle of a frozen lake because ~someone~ thought it was a great idea to go on a fucking idiotic wight hunt, without horses, adequate manpower or any real plan, but also in the grander scheme of things. If Danielle doesn’t help them (what if she refuses to go back north after one of her dragons was killed there?) they are fucked. That’s why Jon went to DSt in the first place, later admitting that is was a stupid idea, that’s why he went beyond the wall to catch a fucking wight, even though that was a really bad idea. All his actions this season were motivated by defeating the threat to the north. All of them (except for choking Littlefinger, *cough*). Even reuniting with Bran and Arya had to take a backseat to this issue. Is it really that far-fetched that his ooc-behaviour at the end of ep6 is the same? If you consider all the things mentioned above? He can’t risk her bailing on him, so he does everything he can to cater to her feelings and desires voluntarily and up-front, to make sure she fights the WW’s, to make sure she doesn’t have any excuse to leave them high and dry.

I would also like to mention that this theory doesn’t even need to implement any possible dark!dany or targbowl or just general endgame speculations. Except for one paragraph, this is solely based on what happened on screen this season. This isn’t about me being a salty shipper either. It’s no secret that I’m not a fan of any j0nerys romance really, but the big pay off in e6 was simply unearned. Either Dickhead & Dipshit fucked up writing a romance or they are presenting us with a wonderfully crafted red herring. Being the optimist I am, I’ll believe in the second until proven wrong. 

I teased to write a “little something” about this issue, but it turned into a “fucking big something” instead. Thanks for sticking with me until the end!

Live Blog for Game Of Thrones 7x06 "Beyond The Wall"

# Tormund freaking Gendry out making him think that he wants to have sex with him # "smart people don't come here looking for the dead" lol Tormund has a point, this is a terrible plan # Tormund admitting Mance was wrong not to kneel repeating very similar words Dany spoke a couple of episodes ago to Jon # He was a good man, he deserved a better son :( poor Jorah, you made mistakes but you are now someone he would be proud of # poor Gendry, stands no chance arguing with the hound # Jon being a sweetheart and offering his sword to Jorah # I love Dany's northern boys bonding :) # I broke my fathers heart, your killing me Jorah :(  # "It will serve you well and your children after you" wink wink # Arya speaking about how unfair it was to be a girl in a man's world but her father was still proud of her being different, I love that # God I understand both girls, I know how much they both loved Ned and Arya would have rather died than write that letter but at the same time Sansa was manipulated into believing it was the only way to save her father from being killed so of course she wrote it # Come now Sansa I know your angry and yes the vale helped win the battle but they would of never won the battle on their own without Jon, Wun Wun, House Mormont and the Wildlings # "you never would have survived what I survived" neither girls could have survived each others situations and both suffered differently but greatly # Arya cutting to the root of Sansa's fear knowing she doesn't want the northern lords to read her letter #damn Iceland is beautiful # Gingers I hate, lol Sandor I wonder if he still thinks of Sansa # Dick I like it lol # I want to make babies with her lol # "does she want to carve you up and eat your liver" "you do know her" lol # Beric trying to convert Jon to the Lord Of Light and Jon not being interested # Excuse me Beric, are you saying Jon will never be happy because his being brought back. I hope your bloody wrong # Tyrion not happy at not being called a hero # Dany telling Tyrion she's happy his not a hero because she doesn't want him to die. Aww :) # "they all try to outdo each other, who can do the stupidest bravest thing" Dany you too are in that list lol # Haha Tyrion telling Dany all the heroes fall in love with her and Dany vemently denying it # "I suppose he stares at you longingly because his hoping for a successful military alliance" omg I love Tyrion # "his too little for me" lol Dany coming up with lame excuses to deny her feelings # "I know your brave" aww massive feels # lol Tyrion and Jamie promising to keep their girls well behaved, like they could # I'm not sure I'd call Dany impulsive, passionate maybe due to her keeping her emotions bottled up but executing the Tarly's to me was not impulsive, she didn't see another option though they could of taken the black but denied it # Tyrion trying to instruct Dany on the importance of understanding her enemies to better predict them, good advice # Yep Dany and Tyrion are most definitely going forward with breaking the wheel, I wish we knew the details # Dany lashing out after Tyrion brings up the very sensitive subject of a heir, Tyrion not realizing how much Dany yearns for a human child in her arms # god damn those polar bears are terrifying # someone bloody save Thoros! Go Jorah, poetic The bear kills the wight bear # Littlefinger you liar # Sansa stating how shit the northern lords are # "I don't know her anymore" that's sad # Jorah and Thoros talking about the siege of Pyke and Thoros doesn't even remember he was so drunk lol # hey get your hands off Jorah's throat! # Damn Jon kicking ass, killing a white walker. Your doing amazing sweetie! # wow the wildlings are like vampires, kill the sire and the underlings die # omg shut it up, it'll get others # ouch poor Sandor, at least it isn't a normal zombie otherwise he'd be doomed # Jon knowing bad shit is about to go down so he orders his new bro Gendry to write his future wife a letter to save them # Jorah being the first to realize they are on a frozen lake # Yes fall into the lake you bloody zombies # Run bloody faster Gendry # Concerned daddy Davos :) # Poor Thoros :(  # Jon taking The Hound's drink to burn Thoros body lol I see you show putting Jon on a elevated spot to make him look as tall as The Hound ;) # Jorah being the one to point out the sire white walker dies, the wights he makes die. Damn my brave bear is so smart # "Daenerys is our only chance" aww # Beric pointing out if they kill the night king the war will be over # Sansa gets invited to Kings Landing and is all "hell no, never going back to that dump full of horror again" # Damn right Sansa, you need to stay and help prepare for the north. I don't really think Arya or Bran have any desire to manage the north if she left. # Brienne worrying over Sansa :) # Sansa being a Braime shipper, I love it # wouldn't call Winterfell the safest place Sansa as when the white walkers breach the wall Winterfell will be one of the first places they go # Sansa being cold to Brienne :( Brienne only wants you to be safe Sansa # "the most important person in the world can't fly off to the most dangerous place in the world" so here for protective Tyrion # omg that dress is so beautiful, best dress I've ever seen in game if thrones. The pureness of the white, the almost dragon scales, the vibrant gold down the back and yet still being practical enough to have room to wear riding pants # Tyrion willing the risk the deaths of Jon/Jorah and co if Dany stays safe # "If you die, we're all lost...everyone, everything" :( # Dany being the impulsive hero she said Jorah and Jon are # Tyrion on the verge of tears :( # Sandor you bloody idiot, you just gave your only defense away out of anger # oh no the lake has completely frozen over :( # yes Jorah, keep kicking ass # Jorah saving Jon! :) # Jon very protective of their captured wight lol # where the hell are you gonna fall back to Jon your surrounded in the middle of a lake # come on guys bloody save Tormund # Yes Sandor the hero, that's what I'm talking about # loved Jon's little spin of his sword # poor nameless wildling being torn apart by a wight horde while Jon watches # Jon looks so defeated like his accepted his gonna die :( # here comes Jon's wifey with her dragons and epic music # Wow the graphics of Ice and Fire look so epic, burn them all! # Dany looking like a beautiful warrior queen atop Drogon # Jon staring up at Dany in awe # Jon pushing past all the taller guys like Tormund to get closer to Dany :) # Jon and Dany reaching for each others hands desperate to touch each other ;) # All the guys climbing up on Drogon while Jon stays fighting and Jorah calls for him # omg Sandor impaling the wight on one of Drogon's spikes lol # Tormund looks shook staring at Dany # Dany looking back at Jon, going hurry up bae # omg No, Viserion screaming in pain as the Night Kings magical staff destroys his insides 😧😧😭😭 # Dany watching her baby fall from the sky and die, not believing what she's seeing😭😭 # omg Drogon crying and Rhaegal trying to follow Viserion😭😭😭 # Viserion's beautiful golden eyes closing😭😭😫 # I can't believe Viserion is dead, he was by far the sweetest. He was the smallest, most gentle dragon who was the most affectionate and in the books didn't have a desire to hunt like his brothers instead wanted to curl up to his mother and have his belly rubbed😭😭😭😭 # Everyone looking in horror at what happened and Jorah looking at Dany knowing this is destroying her😭😭😭 # Jon turning and fighting in so much anger knowing one Dany's children are dead and giving the Night King the evil eyes # Jon knowing they plan on killing more of Dany's children and willing to sacrifice himself so they can all get away😱😱😭 # Dany watching Jon, someone else she loves going down in the lake😭😭😭 # Dany giving the Night King evil eyes before she gets the hell out of there # Drogon being smart and learning from field of fire 2.0 to swerve to avoid being hit # Jorah falling off Drogon before Tormund saves him # Dany looking down holding back her tears for Jon and Viserion knowing she has too much responsibility to break down😭😭😭 # omg Jon is alive! Go baby, saying that though multiple people have almost drown in this show but none have died # Benjen saving Jon from certain death with his incredible fire swinging cannon ball # Jon being so shocked to see his uncle and wanting him to come with him :( # Jon seemingly watching as Benjen is overrun but with this show who knows😭😭 # Dany looking so crushed but wanting to wait a little longer holding on to a slither of hope that she hasn't lost two special someone's she cares for😭😭😭😭😭😭  #Dany about to leave before the horn blows once and sees Jon on a horse # Dany looking in horror as Davos and the others strip Jon of his wet clothes showing his black and blue bruised body and all his unhealed scars knowing Davos was right and he really took a knife in a knife in the heart😱😱 # yuck Arya, having a bag full of faces is really unhygienic that's not what the house of black and white taught you😷😷 # damn Arya, you sure know how to creep the hell out of your sister # poor Sansa, she doesn't understand her younger siblings. Bran being the three eyed raven, Arya being a faceless assassin # Sansa not wanting to play Arya's game of faces just wanting to know what the hell is going on # "the world doesn't let girls decide what they're going to be" damn that is so true in Westeros😒😒 # Jesus Arya, are you screwing with your sister and playing the game of faces for yourself. I seriously doubt Arya would have any desire to be like Sansa or kill her sister for that matter. # wow Sansa seriously thought Arya was gonna hurt her # I wonder how long Dany has been there, with her change of hair and clothes I'm guessing it's been a few days. Has she been taking shifts or been there the entire time I wonder # "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" Dany trying to hold back her tears😭😭😭 # oh wow Jon taking her hand wanting to comfort her even though his suffering too😭😍😭😍 # Even though Dany lost her child, she doesn't regret it knowing she had to see the white walkers for herself😞😖 # "the dragons are my children... They're the only children I'll ever have" Dany you are breaking my heart and I hope your wrong😭😭 # "we are going to destroy the night king and his army and we'll do it together. You have my word" oh Dany your killing me😭😭😭 # "Thank you Dany" damn Jon already starting with the nicknames😏😏 # "how about my queen" omg Jon's voice is pure sex when he says that. The way his looking at her, that voice no way he means that as just his fealty😍😍😏😏 # "They'll all come to see you for what you are" omg Jon your killing me😍😭😍😭 # the way slowly puts her hand in his and Jon looks down at their joined hands😍😍😍 # "I hope I deserve it" book/S1 Dany finally coming out and it's breaking my heart😍😍😭😭😭 # The way Jon is looking at her omg 😍😍 # the way the feelings overwhelm Dany and she tries to pull away but Jon holds on to her tighter omg and just stares into her eyes with so much love 😍😍😍 # Dany knowing right then how they both feel about each other and pulling away and Jon's look and breath of utter disappointment # Jon's heavy breath as he pretends to sleep as Dany composes herself and leaves then his heavy breath as he opens his eyes once she's gone😍😍😍 # what the hell are they doing to Viserion, let his soul rest in peace😠😠😠 # don't touch him asshole😠😠 # oh no poor Viserion, his one of them now and the only way I can see this ending is Dany being forced to kill him to let his soul rest like she did with Drogo😭😭😭😵😵 #Viserion deserved better! 😭😭

Game of Thrones: An Angry Recap

Season 7 Episode 6: Beyond the Wall

Winterfell:

Sigh. Okay. Let's do this.

Arya and Sansa's relationship is all over the place. After a heartfelt reunion where it seems the old tension between the sisters had been set aside, Arya became more and more paranoid of everyone and everything, resulting in the lurking bonanza last episode where it seems Arya got royally littlefingered.

Because just as Petyr planned (presumably), Arya jumped to all the wrong conclusions about the letter Sansa was forced to write to her brother, urging him to bend the knee to Joffrey. “Why didn't you just murder everyone instead, like I would have?” she snaps at her sister. “This is what this show is about! Violence begets violence, and it's awesome! No wonder everyone on reddit hates you.” Ah, sisterly love.

It breaks my heart that GRRM wrote the Stark sisters as polar opposites, but equally strong. Arya is the more traditional Strong Female Character(TM), portraying stereotypically male traits: She wants to learn how to fight, she has a temper, is reckless, and she solves her problems with violence rather than words. Sansa, on the other hand, embraces her femininity. And that's wonderful. She navigates through the snake pit of King's Landing because she is polite, well-trained, and knows when to shut up and swallow her anger and then attack later out of a position of power. Although different, the sisters are both strong, resilient, and grow more and more powerful over the course of the series. GRRM has done a beautiful job portraying women as real people with unique characters.

Enter D&D! While doing some pseudo-research for their characters, biding their time until they ran out of books so they can make up their own shit, they decided to A) dumb Arya and Sansa down to have “invincible killer robot whose trauma made her want to murder everyone” and “stupid girl who is stupid and everyone takes advantage of” and then to B) PIT THESE CHARACTERS AGAINST EACH OTHER IN THE MOST FORCED CONFLICT IN THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION.

Are we really supposed to believe that single letter poses such a threat??? To make this conflict work, Arya had to be:

stupid enough to think Sansa meant what she wrote

evil enough to blackmail Sansa with it

paranoid enough to think Sansa has ulterior motives and wants to usurp Jon or whatever (can you usurp something that is RIGHTFULLY YOURS?)

Sansa had to be

stupid enough to believe that letter poses a threat—as if the Northern lords wouldn't immediately know Sansa wrote what Cersei told her to write

evil enough to send Brienne away, a woman in the perfect position to mediate and de-escalate

paranoid enough to break into Arya's chambers and try to steal the letter back

And all just so D&D can create random conflict out of thin air because, uh, good television.

Also at Winterfell, we get out weekly dose of two minutes Petyr Baelish screentime. (And it's not enough. It's never enough.) It looks like Sansa and Petyr are friends again and she asks him for his council (after telling him to go away, telling him she's smarter than him, and gloomily talking about what he wants, but who cares about characterization in this show? The plot demands that Sansa and Petyr speak.) Petyr helpfully suggests to have Brienne talk to the girls, as she has an invested interest in those two being on the same side, which makes Sansa send Brienne away. Logic(TM)!

As mentioned above, Sansa then sneaks into Arya's chambers to steal the letter back from her, and finds Arya's work clothes under the bed. To dial up the creepy, Arya then appears and... threatens to kill Sansa so she can know how it feels to wear beautiful dresses??? Arya, YOU COULD HAVE WORN ALL THE BEAUTIFUL DRESSES, but you WANTED TO BE A KNIGHT INSTEAD. Before stabbing her sister, Arya changes her mind/reveals she was bluffing (who can tell with this demon child), and gives Sansa Littlefinger's dagger because... reasons. Oh boy, that dagger is going places! Tune in next week to see Sansa give the dagger to Gilly's four year old baby when Sam and family turn up in Winterfell on their way back to castle black! And stay tuned for season 8, where we find out THE DAGGER IS AZOR AHAI!

Beyond the Wall:

Jon, Tormund, Jorah, Gendry, the Brotherhood Without Banners, and a few nameless extras to be killed off as needed hike through a blizzard during Operation Catch a Wight, and we are immediately treated to a rape joke! This time Tormund jokes about raping Jon because “fucking is best to stay warm.” It's funny, because it's two men! Haha, gay! Like Loras! Lol!

But Jon is not just the butt of the joke (I couldn't resist), we are also reminded once again that he's super nice and honorable, much like his “father,” and so he offers Jorah Longclaw back. But Jorah declines, because he's also super honorable and a good guy(TM). I was rooting for him to take the sword and stab Jon with it while yelling “I'm getting rid of the competition! Khaleesi, here I come!!!” But, oh well, when D&D fanservice they somehow never take my wishes into account.  Wait while I send them a raven and complain.

My raven seems to have reach them, because a little later the Hound insists he does not like gingers, and all the SanSan shippers break into crisis mode while I laugh. Heehee. Then we have the incredible honor and privilege to witness a dialogue that includes the words “dick,” “cock,” and “pussy” within what feels like 0.000001 seconds. Finally, proof of GoT's level of sophistication that everyone is talking about. But... Tormund x Brienne, so yay!

The shipping does not last long, because out of nowhere ZOMBIE ICE BEAR ATTACK!!! Run for your lives!!! We watch with bated breath while the bear threatens to kill our beloved heroes and hope he will kill one of the suspiciously random background extras instead, but then we realize we are already dead inside when it comes to this show, so we would not care either way. By the way, is anyone else reminded of Star Wars whenever the Brotherhood Without Banners switch on their fire swords?

But killer zombie bears are not the only threat beyond the wall, and soon the men meet a white walker taking his pack of wights out for a walk. Now I feel safe enough to scream again. THE WIGHTS ARE WEARING HOODS WHILE THE MEN ARE NOT. THE UNDEAD PEOPLE ARE WEARING PROTECTIVE HEADWEAR WHILE THE LIVING PERSONS ARE NOT. THIS SHOW MAKES NO SENSE. NO SENSE. UGH!!!!

Because this is Operation Catch a Wight, the men decide to, you know, catch a wight, and set a trap for some reason. I guess just attacking their enemy without the enemy knowing they were even there would not be sneaky enough! Luckily, the dragonglass proves potent, and Jon successfully makes the white walker burst into a billion pieces AND re-deads the un-dead! DOUBLE KILL! …... except for one wight, who is still undead for practicality and thus immediately captured. Lucky!

The team soon realizes their chances are dire at best, and decide to send Gendry back to Eastwatch so he can send a raven to Daenerys. GENDRY. WITHOUT ANY WEAPONS. ALONE. THROUGH A BLIZZARD. While Gendry runs of to his certain death—who would survive a marathon through a snowstorm?— Jon & Friends also run to their certain death, as they are suddenly attacked by an army of thousands of wights. But—oh joy!—there's a lake there! And the ice on the lake is super special and only breaks AFTER ALL THE IMPORTANT CHARACTERS have already passed! But then it drags all the wights, plus one nameless extra for supposed shock value, down to their icy (re-)deaths, and our heroes manage to escape on a strategically placed isle in the middle of the lake to wait for their rescue.

Dragonstone:

Meanwhile, Dany and Tyrion are having some girl talk because Missandei seems to be MIA. After establishing that Jon is, like, super in love with Dany, you guys, and of course Tyrion knows that because he's SO SMART!!!, Tyrion broaches the topic of succession and SUGGESTS IMPLEMENTING A DEMOCRACY. I mean... yeah, Democracies are nice like 94% of the time, unless you elect someone like Donald Trump Euron Greyjoy. But it just gets SO FUCKING BORING how Tyion is always so super duper good and even his mistakes just make him more human and more lovable, isn't Tyrion just the awesomest, hooray hooray, all hail the best character in the history of the universe.

After what seems like 2 minute flight time, the raven from Eastwatch arrives and delivers Jon's cry for help. The men are trapped in the wilderness, under attack, and in dire need of immediate rescue! Daenerys wastes no time leaping into action. “I have to fly North immediately to rescue the guy I have a lady boner for, the guy who has a sad boner for me, the guy who knows how to turn dragon glass into weapons, the grumpy fan favorite, and their friends... As soon as my seamstress has finished my new winter coat! What fur should I use? This one matches my eyes, but this one goes better with my skin tone!”

Back beyond the wall:

It seems as if Dany's seamstress is really fast, because Dany makes it to the little isle at the perfect moment—Thoros has just died for shock value (and let's face it, nobody cared about Thoros anyway), and the wights have just discovered that the lake has frozen again, and are about to attack, when—DRAGONS!!! Dany swoops in and saves the day. Everyone climbs aboard Drogon, EXCEPT FOR JON, who runs off on a one man “Fighting my way through thousands of wights to kill the Night's King while he's surrounded by his four friends who are all expecting me” mission. Naturally, he does not get far and soon joins nameless extra in the icy depths below. RIP Jon, RIP.

To make matters worse, the Night's King turns out to be an insanely accurate spear thrower, and pierces Viserion's heart. Now that was a death for shock value! The mighty dragon plunges out of the sky, and Dany watches him motionless. I suppose she was just shocked, but maybe that was also Emilia Clarke's inability to act.

Drogon and his human load then get the hell out of there, and—OH GOD!!! JON IS NOT DEAD!!! WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT???? HE'S ALIVE!!!!

And then IT'S BENJEN EX MACHINA!!! AND HE SAVES JON!!! AND HE PUTS HIM ON A HORSE!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! AND JON SNOW IS SAVED!!!

Dany, it turns out, is very relieved about that, and immediately rushes to his side while he's lying in bed naked, recovering from almost freezing to death. Because that's how you get warm—you go to a somewhat warmer room and take off all your clothes. Then, when you freeze, you realize the cold outside was not so bad in comparison, so your body heals itself. Science(TM)!

Jon needing to be saved tim and time again Stannis, Crasters wife, Sansa and LF, Sandy, Benjen is too just overdone. Basically like a damsel in distress because it were a woman, people would have been saying exactly this. They always put him in these situations, same as Jon will die or won't die?

I don’t mind the moments when Jon needs other people to help him. I think that he does so much good for others that when people help him it’s just fine. And I couldn’t think of anyone less a damsel than my boy Jon Snow. 

So here we go, you didn’t ask for this but you’re going to get it. All of the times Jon Snow either shows he is a strong ass dude who can take care of himself and/or the times Jon does genuine good for others that earn him a little good karma and assistance.

This will strictly refer to the show!Jon since anon is bringing up some examples of Jon being “saved” that we don’t know will take place in book!universe (Sansa/LF, Benjen, etc).

Jon grows up in a household full of people he can nevertruly feel a sense of belonging with. He loves his father and siblings so muchbut Catelyn and (we are to assume based on her insistent apology in 6.04) Sansa make sure he is aware that he is one apart from them. So one would understand if maybe Jon turned out to be weak or bitter. But he’s not.

He is driven from his home as a teenager,sent to live in one of the most inhospitable—and we later learn, dangerous—placesin the world. Yes, he’s a bit of a shithead at first when he’s there but he quicklylearns his place and makes friends with his brothers. The real reason I bringup his early time at the The Wall is because we get to see the strength of Jon’scharacter very quickly when he defies Alistair Thorne, putting his own statusthere in jeopardy, just to defend his friend, Sam. That takes its own sort ofbravery.

At the end of the first season after Ned is killed Jonalmost deserts The Wall so he can fight at Robb’s side. He knows theconsequences of being a deserter. Our first scene with Jon shows him watching abeheading of a deserter. He knows that he will be on the run forever and willhave to hide his identity, but he is perfectly willing to ruin his own life totry to help his brother.

In season 2 when he ranges north of The Wall with hisbrothers he is separated from them with Qhorin Halfhand and falls upon thegroup of wildlings. Jon is expected to execute Ygritte but he doesn’t, becausehe thinks for himself and sticks to his own ideals. He knows early on that itisn’t right to kill someone just because they were unlucky enough to be born northof The Wall. He defies his superiors again, again to help someone else.

When he is taken prisoner by the wildlings he followsthrough with Qhorin’s plan to stage a fight, and as Qhorin orders, Jon killshim. This is a man Jon admires, his ally. This was likely incredibly difficult buthe does it to keep them both from dying as wildling prisoners so that someonecan get back to the Watch and deliver news of what they’ve discovered.

Then Jon manages to ingratiate himself to the wildlings andbecome one of them. And while to some extent it’s an act so he can get back toCastle Black alive, he also genuinely likes the wildlings and develops realrelationships with them and a real appreciation for their spirit and way oflife. Even so, he never forgets his duty and almost dies getting back to TheWall to report back to his Brothers.

He doesn’t lie about breaking his vows and sleeping withYgritte. He could. There aren’t any wildlings at Castle Black to contradict isstory. But he is open and honest with Thorne, Maester Aemon, and the othersbecause Jon is an honest person and someone who always takes responsibility.

He takes some men with him back north of The Wall after hisreturn to avenge the mutiny at Craster’s Keep. He is under no obligation toundertake such a task and the party of men to go with him is small. Doing thisagain signifies Jon’s principles and sense of justice. He does not leave theresponsibility to someone else but takes it on himself at great personal risk,and he is successful.

When the wildlings assault Castle Black Jon fights peoplewho were his friends, and he fights bravely. If it wasn’t for his warnings tohis Brothers, his battle strategy, and his own fighting prowess, one couldargue that Castle Black would have fallen to the wildlings’ greater numbersthat day.

He then travels north of The Wall again to face Mance man-to-man and try to treat with him, knowing that to do so is likely suicide. I can’tstress this enough. In what way is this kind of courage indicative of a “damsel”character? 

When Stannis’s men apprehend the wildling forces and attempt to burnMance at the stake, Jon Last of the Mohicans their sadistic asses and shootsMance to end his suffering. Once again, what a badass. He has just witnessedfirsthand what Stannis and Melisandre are capable of, and still put himself onthe line to save his friend from a tortuous death. I mean???

Also in season 5, Jon is elected Lord Commander. He hasrisen through the ranks from being a simple bastard, barely more than a child,to the leader of a force of men that protects the entire realm from thegreatest threat it has ever known. He of course, like literally ANY human, hadhelp along the way from others, but no one gavethis to him. He earned it, and did the job well—though not well enough toplease all of his Brothers (but more on that later).

While serving as Lord Commander Jon brought about the mostradical reform in the history of the Night’s Watch. He travelled north of TheWall to Hardhome with Tormund to treat with the last of the wildling forces.This scene shows us the depth of Jon’s courage when he killed a White Walker insingle combat and evacuated thousands of wildlings to safety so that the NightKing didn’t have a total victory that day.

He actually brought wildlings through the gates and intosafety despite intense protest from his Brothers. Once again, Jon put himselfin harm’s way to help other people. And of course, as we know, this cost himhis life. Literally. Thorne and the others murder Jon for what they considertreason to The Watch.

When he is brought back, Jon is given literally no time tograpple with what has happened to him. He has died and seen that there is noafterlife. He is visibly extraordinarily shaken by this incident and wantsnothing more than to leave The Wall and find peace somewhere else. But thenSansa arrives and we get another example of Jon putting his personal wellbeingsecond to assisting others.

He even tells Sansa that he has spent his entire lifefighting and is tired. But he agrees to help her take Winterfell back from theBoltons and in doing so takes part in an extremely dangerous battle where theodds are stacked soundly against them. This, as we know, starts off with Ramsay’ssick game in which he murders Rickon right before Jon’s eyes. This causes Jonto abandon the battle plan and the pincer maneuver as he rushes headlong into acolumn of armed cavalry.

Is it ill advised? Yes. Is it an emotional decision on hispart? Yes. But is it cowardly, inept, or something that makes him a “damsel”who needs saving? No. I believe strongly after having watched 6.09 severaltimes now that even if Ramsay had not pulled his stunt with Rickon and Jon’smen had followed their original battle plan verbatim, they still would have lost to Ramsay’s superior numbers and clearlyvery well-trained army without the assistance of The Vale.

So I guess you could make the argument here that the men ofThe Vale had to “rescue” Jon like a damsel in distress character. But Idisagree. This is one of the big issues that I have with season 6 and with therelationship the writers created between Jon and Sansa. Sansa knew that she hadLF on her side and the Vale’s army at her disposal, but she chose to hide thisfrom Jon. So I feel this is a matterof viewer perspective. You say Jon needed to be rescued because he is a damsel.I say Jon would not have needed any help and thousands of men could have livedinstead of died on that battlefield if only Sansa had been honest with him. Iknow that Sansa has been hardwired not to trust anyone after all that hashappened to her throughout the series, but we even heard that she trusts Jonwhen Brienne asks her about it. In the now famous scene where Briennehilariously calls Jon “brooding.”

And she had plenty of opportunity to put that trust inJon and tell him about LF. The writing in this part of the season was verystrange to me. We saw scenes, such as the one where Jon receives the letterfrom Ramsay, where Sansa was treated with respect and allowed to speak freelyand say her piece among his men and advisors. When they went around the Northasking the Stark bannermen for assistance, Sansa was by Jon’s side, treated asan equal, freely allowed to speak with these lords and try to win their favor.At no point do we see Sansa silenced by Jon or Davos or Tormund, etc. Yet onthe eve of battle, their dialogue suggests that Sansa has been given no chanceto warn Jon of Ramsay’s trickery or to tell Jon that she’s got an ace up hersleeve, that if they wait just one day, the numbers will be on their side andtheir chances of victory will be far better with LF’s army.

Instead they have a yelling match in the tent during whichSansa cryptically tells Jon not to do what Ramsay expects him to do, and leavesit at that. If she had told him that she has this other force coming their way,then things could have been different and no one would have needed saving inthe first place. I don’t feel that the events of 6.09 are the result of Jon’sown failings or something that required him to be saved as if he is a helpless,damsel character. What I think actually happened in that instance was thewriter’s doing a huge disservice to Sansa’s character–one of the smartest women and most adept survivors in the show–by making her withhold importantinformation with no real good reason that we can see, resulting in anear-disaster that simply made better suspense and good TV for the viewer because it caused the battle to be more dire for our heroes.

And as far as Benjen is concerned, the wight hunt in general seems, from what we know, to be a very foolhardy endeavor but a necessary one nonetheless. It is just another instance of Jon walking into danger to do what MUST be done. It is conceivable for not only Dany but the rest of the southron lords to need proof in order to be invested in the Great War, and someone needs to get that proof. We have seen at Hardhome just how devastatingly powerful the WW army is, and Jon faces their horde with only a handful of men. That is incredibly brave and yes, I am glad that Benjen intervenes to help him in this crucial moment.

But overall, for every person who has ever come to Jon’said, he has helped more people. He is a physically and mentally strongcharacter who still maintains his conscience and kindness in a cruel and twistedworld. Jon Snow is by far my favorite character and I will continue to love himforever, and hope that people save and help him, as he saves and helps others.Because he is the glue holding all of our favorite characters together, andwithout him, we would be watching a very different, and frankly not asinteresting show.

I think what would be boring and unwatchable would be if Jonnever needed help. If he was this impossibly perfect hero figure who not onlyalways saves the day, but is always moral and good, always does the rightthing, always looks fuckable, is a sex god who goes down on women unprompted,always treats his family right …  doyou see what I’m saying? He has to mess up sometimes to be human We all needhelp sometimes, even Jon Snow. And I don’t think that makes him like a weak character as you suggest. I don’t think that at all. If anything I thinkit is more progressive in terms of gender tropes for Jon to need savingsometimes. So I don’t really know what prompted this ask, anon.

https://quoteswithpicture.com/game-of-thrones-finale-review/

Game of Thrones Finale Review

By MA Iliasu (Kano State, Nigeria)

  Season Finale; Game of Thrones. Episode Finale; The Iron Throne.

A wise man once said: “There’s nothing in the world more powerful than a good story. Nothing can stop it. No enemy can defeat it. It unites people better than Armies, Gold and Flags ever can.” That wise man is no one but Tyrion of house Lannister, the imp, the daemon monkey, the pisser over the edge of the wall and the almighty hand of the king – the wise man with the sharpest tongue in Westeros. The perfect proof of Lord Tyrion’s submission is how George RR Martin, an American storywriter unites over one billion world population with the greatest story ever written, ever told and turned into motion picture in man’s living memory – the Game of Thrones.

White or Black, Asian, European, Caribbean or African, Arabic, English, Latino, French, Spanish, Hindi, Chinese, Swahili, Hausa or Yoruba, underage, ageing or aged; one seventh of the world population, and everyone is a Game of Thrones fan. And by fan, I mean the kind of fanatic level of fanboyhood. What makes Lord Tyrion’s submission even more unbelievable is the fact that its author is authored by the man we’re just trying to prove writes the greatest story ever told – with the stuff someone said in his own stuff. Wow! This is levels ahead of human beings comprehensible ability.

David Benioff and D. B Weiss also mustn’t be left behind, their infamous application of logic has wrapped up the story which its fluidity has the potential to flow until the last day, at an intensive, competent and adventurous pace. The episode finale has rationalized and solved many of the puzzles that have been in place since the inception of the show, from episode one – “Winter is Coming”, to episode last – “The Iron Throne”, in the most efficient, rational, logical and idealistic way possible. Justice is served to all; the sword is swinged by him who serves the sentence, and to him whose sentence was served, the nothingness in the truth of him who said I’m the king has been proved, the slaps of honour have been worn in both silence and noise, the status quo is disrupted against all the odds, and the real power is proved just as the script is written; the greatest of all powers is knowledge just as bit much as the inevitability of change is the biggest truth.

The talking points:

1. Don’t bury your head under the sand of delusion, not everything comes through inheritance, the biggest determinant of materiality is fate, and one must accept what it throws at him, no matter why, when and how. It’s just up to one to be ready before or when it arrives. The rightful-ness of everything lies in its righteousness, and for things to function in desired way, that which is rightful must be that which is righteous.

After all the political brouhaha amongst the prominent houses, the determination and the claims of bloodline lineages, and all the explanations and predictions; the person that gets to rule is a crippled son of Ned Stark who couldn’t lift his arm right to fire an arrow. Who would’ve thought? The boy, who was named after his uncle Bran, who was also named after Bran the Builder travelled north of the wall to find the missing tape in the cassette of his fate. Robb Stark once said to Lord Manderly: “If Bran can’t be lord of Winterfell before me, Renly can’t be king before Stannis” and I wish he was alive to see Bran as the king of Andals right in the sight of rightful heirs, and there’s nothing anyone of them can do about it. Isn’t that a great lesson? Ladies and gentlemen, please to Brandon the Broken, the first of his name, the king of the Andals and the first men, the lord of the seven kingdoms and protector of the realm. Long may he reign!

2. No one should eat his cake and still have it. No one should pass the sentence and refuse to swing the sword. No one should take a debt and refuse to pay. What all this is trying to prove is that people must take their words seriously if world is to be any liveable environment for the living.

Daenerys Targaryen made promise of mercy, but fulfilled it with a wrath. She’s taken a debt of betterment, but paid it with aggravation. No one should get away with that. Jon Snow on the other hand has been a consistent soldier of mercy, truth, honour and honesty. He’s the personification of that proverb: “Truth is worth more than a pound.” The two lovers are complete opposite of each other, but still have so much affection for each other in a “love is blind” kind of way. Their characters define the ideals of human coexistence; take your word serious and be remembered as the greatest, but take it as a joke and be remembered as the worst.

3. Jon Snow as bigger name than Aegon the Conqueror, and Brandon the Builder in history of Westeros would be a very fair argument. Within his short life he had been a bastard, a steward, Lord Commander, a prisoner, wildlings saviour, King in the North, rightful heir to the iron throne and saviour of the realm. In all of the mentioned, he has been the greatest that has ever bear the title. No man has served the realm closer to how much Jon did. He died and came back. He’s stupid, clueless and indecisive, but which honourable, honest and brave man is not? He has the blessings of prince Rhaegar, Ned Stark, Lord Commander Mormont, Aemon Targaryen, Mance Rayder, Stannis Baratheon and Cersei Lannister. And for everyone who is against him being sent back to the wall, remember, there has to be a Stark and a Targaryen every time in Black, and a man who is good at commanding, and very dear to the Wildlings, Jon meets that criteria, in fact, he’s the only one that meets that criteria. Jeor Mormont did give him the long claw for a reason. And Maester Aemon defined love to him for a reason. Ghost agreed to follow Tormund to the wall for a reason. Edd Tollett refused the Lord Commander post for a reason. It’s for Jon to guard the realm till eternity, and it’s fair to say the realm is safe till eternity. The greatest man that ever lived in Westeros. He indeed knows nothing, but who else knows something?

4. The new small council is just a testimony of the past great councilors. Lord Tywin’s blood must always be there to be hand of the king, because no one had ever been better at it. Tyrion was sent by his father to serve in his place for a reason. Bronn of Blackwater has the cunning of Petyr Baelish, and even bigger love for gold. He also knows what it takes to convert an empty bag into bag full of gold. Samwell Tarly has learnt a great deal from Maester Aemon, and from Maesters in the citadel. He’ll make a better Maester than Pycelle. Davos Seaworth is an experienced smuggler who survived every single battle without a shred of combat ability. No one is better at brokering a deal, he’ll be of great service as the master of the ships. Brienne of Tarth as Lord Commander of Kingsguard would allow Jaime to sleep peacefully in his grave. With the only vacant post remaining is Master of Whisperers. But who in this life or another do you think could resemble Varys, let alone replicate his job? RIP Lord Varys, may the soul of Dany rot in hell for taking you away from us.

5. Yuval Noah Harari is apt; “Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.” When – Lord Commander Mormont forbade Samwell Tarly to die, Mance Rayder died while being burned alive for refusing to kneel, Craster marrying his daughters to himself, The hound threatening soldiers to rape their corpses if they run, Stannis Baratheon admitting to murder while being helpless, Robin Arryn sucking his mother’s breast while been at the age Brandon Stark was ruling Winterfell in place of Robb, and Edd Tollett saying his mother farted while dying that the whole bed shook, I thought I heard it all. I thought I’ve seen it all. Then boom!!! Lord Edmure Tully stood right there in front of lords with hope for them to endorse him as the king of six kingdoms. Wow! I think this is the greatest insult an entity has ever suffered, and I was there asking God to offer me a chance to give Edmure the greatest flogging he has ever received. What a dunce! And he truly meant it.

6. The north is finally a recognised independent dominion. North has always been an arena for extraordinary stubbornness. They worship old Gods in trees instead of fire and new, stay in snowflakes through the winter and bowed only to the dragons. The fury of northern lord matches the fire of a dragon. Greatjon Umber couldn’t agree for Lord Glover to lead northern banners until he got his fingers eaten by a dire wolf. Lord Karstark murdered two Lannister boys because Lady Catelyn set Jaime free, which costed him his head and he didn’t regret. Lyanna Mormont killed a giant in such a young age, and once wrote a reply to Ramsay saying her house recognises no king but the king in the north whose name is Stark, and we all know Ramsey. These people shall never bend before anyone who is not a northerner, and they got one in Queen Sansa, a brilliant lady with experience, with a fine lineage and beautiful face. I am that northern soldier who bends when she was done getting crowned. Our Queen! Arya Stark on the other hand refused to be the Lady of Storm’s End, instead wants to see the boundary of Storm’s End. Cold little bitch, as the hound puts it. That girl can’t live in a world where there’s no people like Ned Stark, Sandor Clegane, Blackfish and Jaqen H’ghar. The hero of the realm!

In the end, there are some missing stuff in the season finale that needs to be accounted for such as: 1. How did they rebuild King’s Landing within days? 2. How did they rebuild the wall in such little period? 3. Samwell Tarly still has the bows of Night’s Watch, how did he become a Grand Maester with bows, when did they pardon him? 4. It has been seen when the Unsullied sailed to Naath, but what happened to the Dothraki, who knows where they go? 5. What happened to or where is Ellaria Sand and her daughter? Are they still rotting in the dungeons of King’s Landing? Did the girl die from Cersei’s poison, did Ellaria watch her rot? Is she alive or dead?

Rating: 4/5

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Game of Thrones Recap: S7E1 - "Dragonstone"

WINTER. IS. HERE.

Game of Thrones came back this past Sunday prepared to begin wrapping up six seasons of political upheaval, the Will They or Won’t They relationship between Daenerys and Westeros, and the impending zombie apocalypse. We’re finally in a place where at least SOME people are acknowledging that the Long Night is a real and possible thing, and while at the moment it seems like the white walkers are in a much better position to win, maybe just maybe our heroes (and villains) have a chance of defending humanity from joining the Night King’s army. The premiere episode came to let us know that they are getting right to business. Sure, a church was blown up in the episode before this, but what’s that next to undead Giants?? Anyway, plenty of other things continue to happen while we all prepare, so let’s get into that.

The Riverlands/The Twins

We start this episode at the Twins, and I’m not gonna lie I was confused for the first fifteen seconds. I stopped the episode to make sure it was the right one and then tried to figure out why we were still watching a world where Walder Frey was alive. But then a light bulb went off in my head the longer Walder kept talking to all his family gathered in the hall and I was like ohhhhhhhhh.

Plot twist: it was Arya wearing Walder’s face.

I think the moment I knew for sure was when Arya-as-Walder turned to his new teenage wife and told her not to drink the wine. While after all of the Freys drop dead, Arya leaves her with a badass “Tell them Winter came for House Frey,” I also understood it as her not wanting to kill this innocent girl who was being abused by Walder Frey - Arya realized that the women there were also victims and left them alive, further pushing the show’s relatively newfound love for the Ladies of Ice and Fire.

After murdering an entire family - and earning her own version of the Rains of Castamere - Arya travels through the riverlands and runs into some foot soldiers for the Lannister army, one of who was Ed Sheeran for some reason? When Arya stops to speak with them, at first I was like oh no Arya what is you doin? But then she refused to eat their meat and I remembered who the fuck she was. I was convinced Ed and his homies were gonna die the minute she denied the guest food, but again we see that Arya is not a heartless assassin, just a faceless one. After speaking further with the soldiers, she realizes that they are just people - they’re husbands and brothers and fathers fighting in the highborn’s wars. Arya has dealt with a lot of horrible Lannister men and she initially read them all as the same. But she - and we - see how much the Game of Thrones has affected the lowborn, those who really just want to live a full life. We’ve seen before how these everyday people get caught in the crossfire, but up until now we hadn’t really seen the actual people fighting - especially not on the Lannister side - who don’t necessarily agree with or even know what they’re fighting for, just that they have to fight.

We also find out that Arya is traveling to King’s Landing to kill Cersei, which was both exciting and a let down for me. Like yes, Cersei gotta go. But also, what about the Starks? Arya, your brother is King in the North and there are ice zombies coming! They need you! And you need them!

Beyond the Wall/The Wall

Speaking of ice zombies and Stark siblings, we also see the white walkers coming, and literally bringing winter with them. Bran is the one who sees them coming, but when he comes back to the here and now, he and Meera have made it back to the Wall! Lord Commander Dolorous Ed and some of the 20 men of the Night’s Watch still at Castle Black meet Meera and Bran to see who they are. Meera tells them who they are Bran gets all Dumbledore-y, sounding more and more like Jojen Reed (RIP). Also, I’m not gonna lie, but I really thought Bran was going to bring the Wall down with his magical connection to the Night King. While that actually didn’t happen, I am curious about the magic that is a part of the Wall and whether that will continue to keep the white walkers out - so maybe the Wall will metaphorically fall to the walkers, but not physically.

The North/Winterfell

A little further south, Jon and Sansa hold court in Winterfell in preparation for the Night King. Jon speaks about looking for dragonglass, sending the wildlings to defend Eastwatch-By-The-Sea, and training the women and children to fight as well. Of course there is dissent from salty-ass Lord Glover, but Lady Lyanna Mormont sets him straight. While Jon didn’t have to defend himself at that point, I will say that it was pretty consistent for his character. He was the one who had a sword made for Arya and he fell in love with Ygritte in part because of her tenacity and ability to fight. Of course, he still feels as if he has to protect the women in his life - including Ygritte - and it shows through his interactions with Sansa, but I don’t think that desire is because he doesn’t think they can’t protect themselves. It’s because he loves and feels a responsibility for them.

While Jon and Sansa do love each other, they still clash, which is shown when Sansa suggests that they take Last Hearth and Karhold from the Umbers and Karstarks for their loyalty to Ramsay Bolton. Jon disagrees because he feels that both the Umbers and Karstarks have paid for those crimes, and ends up having the new heads of those houses, Ned Umber and Alice Karstark to re-pledge their loyalty to House Stark. While I do understand Sansa’s anger at their betrayal and her desire for revenge, I also understand Jon’s thinking. For one, it was a very Ned move, and for another, we can’t be dividing the North and sowing discord when THE NIGHT KING IS AT THE FIST OF THE FIRST MEN WHICH I REALIZE WE DON’T KNOW AT THIS POINT BUT GUYS THIS IS SERIOUS.

The thing I do appreciate about this scene between Jon and Sansa, and the one after it, is that while they may disagree and become frustrated with each other, those disagreements don’t seem to have a lasting damage on their relationship. They trust and love each other and want each other to do well. In a lot of moments Sansa is wrong about what to do, and in others Jon is wrong. There are a lot of parallels between Jon/Sansa and Ned/Catelyn that I appreciate, and it came up a lot for me in this episode. They’re going to need to keep their relationship strong in order to defeat not only the white walkers, but Cersei, who wants them to swear fealty to her, and Littlefinger who is still around for some reason.

While we do get a small reprieve with Brienne training Pod and Tormund still flirting with Brienne, we also get Littlefinger, smirking in the background, trying to sow seeds of distrust between Sansa and Jon, and to get back on Sansa’s good side. Before this episode I was a little worried that it would work, but now I see that she’s basically just putting up with him for the Lords of the Vale. I do wish Littlefinger would get some perspective though, because he’s in the North to get the Iron Throne and Sansa but you can’t have the Iron Throne or Sansa if you're the icy undead.

Also in the North are Sandor Clegane and the Brotherhood Without Banners. On their way up they stop at a house we’d been to before during the Adventures of Arya and the Hound, and Clegane recognizes it as the house of a man and his daughter who he stole from. At this point, the man and daughter are dead, the father having killed them both because they were starving. Clegane has some guilt about that, and even apologizes to them when burying them (which NO, burn the bodies PLEASE). He also is coaxed into looking into the flames by Thoros. The first thing he sees in the fire is ice - which is a great tie into the overarching theme of the story - but he also sees the Wall, Eastwatch-By-The-Sea, and that the white walkers are passing the Fist of the First Men. He is finally convinced that Winter is Coming.

King's Landing

You know who doesn’t realize Winter is Coming? Cersei.

Instead of worrying - or even knowing - about their impending conversion into zombie-cicles, she is having a map of Westeros painted in the Red Keep - clearly taking inspiration from Aegon the Conqueror and the Painted Table at Dragonstone. Here to bring her back to the reality that she isn’t Aegon the Conqueror is Jaime, who is clearly not comfortable with the things Cersei has done. While he says he’s not angry with Cersei, it’s clear that their relationship has been damaged beyond repair at this point. It seems that he’s frustrated and hurt by Cersei more than anything - not only is she not showing remorse for Tommen’s death (there’s a moment where she says he betrayed her? And I’m not sure if she means his suicide is a betrayal or his love of Margaery was the betrayal), but she speaks of dynasty and her father’s legacy, and ruling the Seven Kingdoms when, as Jaime tells her, they have “three kingdoms at best.” They not only have enemies everywhere, but they also have no one to pass their rule onto when they inevitably die. There is no sustainability to Cersei’s rule and she doesn’t seem to care.

While Jaime is the Kanye to Cersei’s Sway, Euron Greyjoy arrives to King’s Landing in his newly and quickly built Iron Fleet to forge an alliance. Jaime very clearly doesn’t like any of this, especially not Euron with his new haircut and eyeliner. I noticed that Euron wasn’t wearing his crown and wondered if he didn’t as a way to appeal to Cersei, but the main thing I was watching for were the traits that make him worse than Ramsay Bolton since we were warned that he would be. We got a mention of Euron’s strong desire to murder his niece and nephew, Yara and Theon, and some shit talking between Jaime and Euron, but other than that he seemed a little jovial in a way we haven’t seen in our Clearly Horrible characters. I honestly don’t think we need another terrible character when AGAIN. THERE ARE ZOMBIES. MADE OF ICE. TRYING TO COVER THE WORLD IN AN ETERNAL WINTER. ON THEIR WAY TO THE SEVEN KINGDOMS. Anyway Cersei turned down Euron’s wedding proposal and he said he’d be back with a gift for her or something.

Oldtown

Meanwhile, further south in the Hogwarts of Westeros, Sam is having a hard time. Because Sam is not a maester, he doesn’t have a lot of access in the Citadel. The problem with that is that he’s not only there to learn to be a maester, but to find information on how to defeat the Long Night - information that is in what is essentially the Restricted Section. And so Sam goes to Archmaester Slughorn to try to get a note to admit him. While the Archmaester does believe that the Long Night is coming, he believes that the Wall will stop it (pretty much foreshadowing that it won’t) and doesn’t grant Sam access, so Sam steals some keys from a sick maester and grabs what he needs anyway.

Later, he and Gilly read what he stole and they find out that not only did the Targaryens use dragonglass as decoration, but that there is dragonglass at Dragonstone. Sam writes to Jon, which makes me wonder whether he’s caught up with the soap opera that is Jon Snow’s life since he left the Wall. Either way, the information is still valuable, and I’m sure once it gets to the Wall, Ed will pass it on.

We also see that Jorah is at the Citadel all grayscaled up but I didn’t want to see him in this episode so that’s all I’m gonna say about that.

Dragonstone

Dany finally sets foot on Westeros! And there are dragons!

That’s pretty much all that happens at Dragonstone, but I did appreciate getting to see more of Dragonstone than we did when Stannis was there. Dany walks into her ancestral castle, pulls down Stannis’s banners, walks into the room with the Painted Table, and asks “Shall we begin?” To which I say, hell yes.

*P.S. shout out to all of y'all who used the #MBGMD tag during your live tweets! You're all the best for furthering our cause for More Black Girls and More Dragons.