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bsdawgz · 3 months

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「 ✦ All to Myself ✦ 」 Bungo Stray Dogs, Port Mafia: Ryūnosuke Akutagawa

A/N: aku won the poll! thank you everyone who voted and everyone who has been so supportive of me and my fics ♡ after writing this little ~drabble~ about what it would be like sleeping soundly next to aku, of course i just had to follow it up with some soft smut, too hehe. if you voted for atsushi, don't worry – i'm prolly going to write one for him next!

genre: f!reader, established relationship + virginity loss, fluffy smut!

content warning: MDNI! mentions of aku’s childhood trauma. bj, virginity loss (aku), brief blood mention (back scratching), a teeny bit of possessiveness, unprotected sex THIS IS MAD RISKY IRL JSYK, tons of reassurance, validation + validation seeking, and lots of saying "i love you" 🥹

summary: on a cold, february night, a night like every other night in this kill-or-be-killed world, fingers are reaching for fingers clumsily, pondering the meaning of the word safety and wondering if it’s possible to find it in another person.

“you’re making a really cute face right now, ryū,” you giggle, poking at your boyfriend’s cheek. boyfriend – the idea of it was still so foreign to you and him both. you never thought that akutagawa would end up confessing his feelings to you – let alone having feelings for you in the first place. ryūnosuke was short-tempered and, as you quickly came to know as a civilian, feared. however, your friendship with gin had brought you close to him and now, here you two were, perhaps against all odds.

ryū's cheeks flush at your compliment; he paws your hands away from his face, still not used to your casual touch. his eyebrows furrow; his nose scrunches. “don’t mock me,” he mutters, averting your gaze awkwardly as he moves his weight away from you. then, a quiet smile settles on his lips as he steals a glance at you from the corner of his eyes. your face lights up in response – there’s that tiny crack of tenderness, a secret kept just between you two. it makes warmth spread all over you, then all over him.

tonight is a cold night, a night like every other night in this kill-or-be-killed world. somewhere in a slum not far off from yokohama, there is a family of orphan children sleeping in a slum. on a suicide mission about a mile east from akutagawa’s apartment, a group of port mafia executives are breathing their last breath. in the alleyway just around the corner, there is a man with a gun pressed to his temple.

but on this cold, february night, a night like every other night in this kill-or-be-killed world, akutagawa and you are inside – sitting on a mattress that has barely been slept on, fingers reaching for fingers clumsily, pondering the meaning of the word safety and wondering if it’s possible to find it in another person.

“can i… kiss you?” the request is so simple, but so special. affection is such a strange thing like that. akutagawa’s eyes widen, as though he’s bewildered by his own words, surprised that he's made such a request in the first place. but it’s too late to take back the words now – not that he wants to, anyway.

you’re both inept, fumbling to get closer to each other. shaky hands reach for your waist as you crawl into his lap, making him shift at the sudden closeness. it’s not your first time kissing someone, and you’re by no means a virgin, but akutagawa and you have never even cuddled, let alone been this intimate together. you feel timid fingers awkwardly stroking your hair, then his lips hesitantly brushing against yours. for the first time, ryūnosuke has no idea what he’s doing, and there’s no hiding it – there’s an intense heat radiating throughout his body and a clamminess in his hands, which he simply doesn’t know where to put, every time your lips meet. when he feels the soft, wetness of your tongue caressing his, he pulls back, an ashamed look on his face. “i… sorry.”

“you’re making that cute face again…” your voice is gentle, caring. you don't mean to tease him, yet a wave of embarrassment rushes through him. he looks away, absolutely frustrated with his inexperience and the way that you see right through him. he feels so incompetent. he’s just about ready to protest, but before he can, you plant a kiss on his cheek, giving him yet another reason to blush. “it’s okay, just let me show you,” you coo, threading your fingers through his. “just trust me. okay, ryū?”

he looks at you and nods sheepishly, letting you guide his hands back onto your hips. tilting your head to the side, you bring your lips to his once more. it’s a passionate kiss – long, languid, full of tenderness. this time, when you sweep your tongue into his mouth, he lets you in willingly, sinking deeper into your kiss, his fingers grasping the fabric of your blouse tighter. when you finally pull back, akutagawa’s cheeks are pink to the tips of his ears, making you giggle as he slowly lets go of you. “mhm, that was much better…” you hum in approval, playing with the hands that are laying in your lap.

your touch has always been different from what he's used to – you're kind, forgiving. you are the embodiment of what he's spent his life convincing himself is a weakness, yet you've proven to him that it's your greatest strength. he nods at you, an almost serious look on his face like he's memorizing your movements, then he leans in for another kiss – you feel his fingers meshing through your hair as he brings you closer. he’s gentle with his hands as he weaves them carefully through the strands, cautious not to snag or tangle them as he tucks them behind your ear.

then, to your surprise, you feel his lips elsewhere – the heat on his mouth on your neck, his soft breath traversing down your skin as he traces a line to your collarbone. “is it okay?” his voice holds nothing but compassion – a forbidden trace of humanity in akutagawa that he spent his life unlearning for the sake of survival – a speck of vulnerability that proves you're not you're not so different from him, after all. he crumbles, shatters under you. you nod in response and guide him to your shoulder, unbuttoning your blouse.

“ryū…” his name forms on your lips before you even have the chance to think it, but it’s only natural now – “do you love me?”

your words catch him off-guard. of all the things you could ask him, he never would have expected this – yet, just as you, he finds that he already knows the answer and that all he has to do is confirm it. “yes.” it’s a quiet response, uttered like a secret, as though if someone were to discover the truth, it would mean certain death for the two of you. then, he meets your gaze waveringly, suddenly realizing that he’s exposed his hand without knowing your own response. “do you love me back?”

there’s no denying it in the way you touch him, taking his cheek in your hand as you plant a soft kiss to his soft, waiting lips. “i love you. i always will.” – those words he’s never heard that make his hands tremble. he reaches for you – and for once in his life, he feels what he’s been yearning for is falling perfectly into his fingertips. the scent of your lavendar shampoo, lingering in the tendrils of your hair; the softness of your skin against his lips; the quiet sounds of your gasp when his teeth graze your neck – he wants all of it –

– is it really okay for him to have it?

can he have you like this? –

he’s unbuttoning the rest of your blouse now, trailing gentle kisses down your chest. clumsy hands struggle to unclasp your bra before palming and squeezing at the swell of your breasts, cherishing the experience of feeling another human being’s naked skin for the very first time. you gasp as he thumbs over your hardened nipples, then you feel the wetness of his mouth exploring the exposed skin with slow flicks of his tongue. his wandering hands feel up the sides of your body, eager to burn your shape into his memory. he doesn’t have to say that you’re beautiful – his eyes tell you so as he gazes at you hazily through thick lashes, exploring every part of you attentively. “ryū–” you moan out, your voice a whisper. “can i touch you, too?”

nodding, ryūnosuke undoes his shirt and slacks while you finish undressing. slipping the now-unbuttoned shirt down his toned shoulders, his body tenses at his complete vulnerability. the thought of being unclothed without rashōmon at his disposal is terrifying. “we don’t have to,” you reassure him, bringing your lips to the back of his hand. “you don’t have to give me anything.”

“– but i want to.”

he interrupts you quickly, embarrassed at the sheer neediness in his voice and appalled by how easy it must be to read him right now. “i want you to touch me.” he looks away, embarrassed – there's no one in the world that he trusts more than you. then, gulping, he steadies his voice, finally meets your gaze determinedly. “i don’t want anyone else but you to touch me – will you touch me?”

you nod, then you seek him.

he grows in the palm of your hand. it's the first time he's ever felt the touch of someone other than himself, and his eyes watch you carefully, timidly – the way that those slender fingers of yours curl around the base and stroke him. your touch feels so different than his own. your movements are slow and intentional, so unlike the way he touches himself when he’s just trying to finish himself off in a hurry.

your gaze is hot on him, and he feels his cheeks burning under your scrutiny – and oh, wow, your hand is so small and so soft – and it feels so good wrapped around him like this. his breath is stuck in his throat; stifling a sound as you palm the wet tip, he watches as your finger collects a string of precum leaking at the slit. then, a muffled noise escapes him as he feels a wetness teasing at him – is that your tongue? wait... is he moaning right now?

he gasps, eyes widening as he realizes what’s happening – the gorgeous sight of you on your knees for him, in between his legs. you’re kissing the inside of his thigh, your hand still firm around him, and then your mouth is full of him, and he’s stammering out your name relentlessly. he’s out of breath, fingers threading through your hair, petting your head as you suck him off. “– a-ah… feels… good…” he's shocked at how vocal he is and wants to hide his face out of embarrassment, so he lets his head fall back and covers his eyes with his arm, hoping you won't see the sort of face he might be making for you.

then, you feel him reach for your breasts once more, molding them to the shape of his hands, before he tugs you into his lap, pulling you into another deep kiss. “can i have you?” he asks. there’s a hint of desperation in his voice. ryūnosuke is staring into your eyes seriously now, a certain urgency reflected in those dark, blackened irises of his, as though he’s afraid you’ll disappear before his eyes and might vanish into dust, as though this is some false reality. murmuring a soft ‘always’ in affirmation, you feel him press his mouth to your skin once more and litter your neck and shoulders with kisses, hands traversing across your skin like he can’t get enough of your body, craving to memorize every morsel of you.

“i love you,” he whispers, voice faltering as he meets your gaze. he melts into nothingness against your open mouth, pouring himself into your kisses, and soon, he grows hungry. his movements become more aggressive, fingers digging into the flesh of your hips, carving craters into the dips in your skin. you feel him mark you, his teeth scraping your neck slightly as he sucks harshly on your tender skin, leaving behind splotches of pink and red. your fingers tangle in his black and silver hair as you bite back a moan at the pang of pain and pleasure intertwined – but your thoughts are filled with nothing but him as you chant in your head, i love you, i love you, i love you.

then, you ease him inside of you slowly, and you hear him moan softly into the crook of your shoulder and tighten his grip on your waist as you sink onto him completely. “nghh–...” the feeling of your wet warmth is too much to handle – he feels like he could cum any moment just from being inside of you. he never imagined that his first time would be raw – and that it would feel so, so good like this. you’re pulsing all around him, squeezing him so perfectly. with you gripping him so sweetly, he can every single one of your movements – each agonizing throb of your aching core. it’s like nothing he’s ever experienced before.

what if he doesn’t last long? just the thought of it makes him feel so embarrassed and ashamed of himself – but as you lay a kiss on the protrusion of his cheekbone, looking at him with those kind, compassionate eyes, he’s reminded that there’s nothing he has to prove to you right now. he blushes, cheeks turning red, then brushes his lips against yours again. “it’s okay, you can go slow if you want,” you whisper in his ear, as though you've read his mind.

his movements are awkward, just as you’d expect from someone with no experience, but you guide him until his thrusts are steady. “is… is it okay? am i… doing okay?” ryū asks anxiously. there’s that incredibly cute, worried expression on his face again, that face that he makes when words fail him and confidence escapes him. his cheeks are flushed with heat as he looks up at you, waiting to hear your validation.

"don't worry so much," you murmur, caressing his cheek with your thumb. "you don't have to hold back with me, ryū. i want to make you feel good, okay?

i love you."

you feel akutagawa's weight shift on top of you. then, those eyes – eyes that echo your own emotions, eyes that are baring everything, are peering at you yearningly. in the sliver of moonlight peeking through his bedroom curtains, you can see all of him now – pale skin reflecting the silver glow of the sky, raised scars on his body that immortalize a traumatic past, bruises from pushing himself past the point of redemption in training. this is no hellhound – this boy is distinctively human; and these are the markings to prove it.

"i love you, too," he says breathlessly, in a voice as earnest as your own, "i love you so much."

he buries himself inside of you once more, pleasuring in the warmth of your walls and the way that your body grips him. there is no need to hide tonight from each other tonight, not when it's just the two of you in this room. as you wrap your legs around him, you feel his pelvis meet yours in slow, deliberate strokes. he focuses his attention on you completely. he's so beautiful, so loving – and you wonder what good you might have done in a past life time to be loved so tenderly by this man. allowing yourself to be swept into the tide of hips, you moan out his name as his pace quickens – as he pushes himself into you deeper, closer, until you're clinging onto him, your fingers burrowing into his shoulders. "ryū... you feel really good, ryū…”

the way that you coo for him makes his eyes widen –

"say it again. my name. please.

tell me i make you feel good. i need to hear it again..."

and you'll say it again – as many times as he wants. his name spills out of your lips like a broken dam and you overflow, mouthing 'i love you' over and over into the crease of his jaw as your nails rake across his back, piercing flesh and pricking blood.

"i... i own you now... you belong to me – you're mine, okay? only mine," he tells you, gazing into your eyes longingly, desperate to have the words repeated back to him.

but of course you’re his – you’ve only ever been his. “yours, ryū,” you whisper back, reaching up to stroke his cheek with your thumb, and for just a moment you could swear there’s tears about to well up in his disbelieving eyes. “i’m all yours – i’ll always be yours.”

tonight, it is cold, february night in yokohama. it is like any other night in this kill-or-be-killed world –

– except tonight, ryūnosuke and you are inside his apartment, sheltered from the cruelty of the outside world. your fingers are interlocked as you hold one another tightly, in the most intimate of ways – and for the first time in ryū's life, he feels his trembling hands become still, his breath become steady, his heartbeat slow.

outside, there's a drizzle of rain that's begun to prickle at the window panels in the shadows of his darkening room. somewhere in the slums, just at the outskirts of yokohama, there is a boy that looks like him, who knows nothing but suffering, who owns nothing at all, who has no one at all.

but tonight, none of that matters –

tonight, all that matters is this man in front of you, who is pulling you tight against his chest, and that soft voice rustling in your ear, whispering, "i'm yours, too. i'm all yours."

author ps: eeeek i hope i did ok!!! wc was a bit higher than usual b/c i really do love aku, so i'm a little nervous T_T i really did enjoy writing this one, so i hope that you also like it and that i did aku justice. also, if anyone is interested in being added to a future taglist, please let me know and i’ll set one up!

#BSDAWGZ #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd smut #akutagawa smut #akutagawa x reader #bungou stray dogs smut

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saaraofthesand · 7 months

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Fics that depict sskk trying to keep their relationship secret from skk are so correct. there’s no WAY they’d want to admit to ending up like dazai and chuuya. aku loves atsushi very much and also you couldn’t torture that information out of him. atsushi becomes the world’s greatest liar just so dazai doesn’t find out and become even more insufferable. they live in constant fear of chuuya finding out because neither of them want to be sent weird, extremely expensive sex toys.

#I am a believer in sskk vanilla sex I cannot lie #esp early on #like skk? kinky as fuck #but sskk… nah #bsd #shin soukoku #sskk #skk #soukoku

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mvniro · 2 months

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. . . (🍷) ֶָ֢ 𔓘 I'LL BE YOUR GIRL, LET YOU TASTE IT : a ryuunosuke akutagawa fic.❞

❝ "he is such a daddy." . . . popular streamer 'a' once again makes the girls swoon over him by making out with his girlfriend on stream.❞ one hour ago.

🎀 LIGHTS, CAMERA AND STREAM! ; the hottest streamers and all about them and more at www.mvnjiroarchives.com..

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍷 ꒱ . . . please don't come at me with the "aku would never act like this!!" -- he will in my mind.

˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍷 ꒱ . . . tw ; streamer!aku, boyfriend!aku, mean!aku, fem!reader, nsfw, dry humping, riding, overstimulation, squirting, fingering, clit pinching, rough play, smacking, gagging due to fingers forced down the throat, manhandling, blood play, lip biting, making out on camera, semi public sex in a way?, uses of mommy and princess, slight degradation and that's all i remember lol.

ideal.

ideals.

what a load of bullshit.

till it isn't anymore.

ideas give birth to ideals and ideals, if taken the wrong way, leads to a world of narcissism. not always, but surely at times.

but ideas and ideals are also necessary and absolutely essential in the society to ensure that it works properly and in harmony.

because everyone who lives, thinks and when he thinks, he thinks no one else ever thought of what he did, which isn't entirely right or wrong.

and everyone had ideals and everyone has ideas and everyone likes someone else who fits their ideals and ideas and everyone wants to fit in the ideals and ideas of others.

perplexing? sure is.

not for the man sitting on his gaming chair though. he who had crafted a mask so tempting that it fits many people's 'ideals', his massive following is the proof of it and the stans on twitter who go berserk after any and every 'attractive' thing he does and makes edits, are the unshakeable evidence of his charms and charisma and also his ability to deceive others.

"what did you say?" it is not common of him to abandon his on going stream to look at you who stood behind his camera set up, an eyebrow cocked up as if to challenge you to utter those words again.

"i said you are a loser." you smile, playfulness written all over your face as you provoked your boyfriend by once again poking fun at his fascination and knowledge of criminal psychology and the overall criminal world and crimes.

"and what makes you think your opinion matters?" akutagawa scoffed with his eyebrow still raised yet with one glance at the screen to see the chat going wild over him as they found him hot, a cocky grin spread upon akutagawa's face and he leaned forwards to grab the packet of cigarettes and to pull a stick out.

"your opinion matters more then anyone else's to me so shouldn't mine matter more then anyone else's for you too?" you tilt your head as you watch him, observe him even, as he lights the end of the stick and push it between his lips.

why he smoked is something you'll never understand no matter how many cynical words he used to explain this addiction of his, saying how smoking isn't a reward but a punishment for when he thinks he hadn't performed as well as he expected.

you did not like it. so you take a step forwards slowly, not being afraid of coming in the camera frame as the man who has everyone whipped for his calm yet raspy voice and the way he so easily yet with a neutral base explained morbid and gruesome details of morbid cases . . . (and he also played horror games), is not someone who is very fond of pda yet despite so, he had made it obvious from day one that you were his girl with the way he stood so close to you or spoke directly next to your ear or close to your face, not wanting to be away from you or at a distance from you.

"why on earth do you crawl to those that are harmful for you?" you whisper for only him to hear as half of your upper body became visible on the camera frame when you planted your hand on the armrest and leaned in to take the cigarette stick from his hand, akutagawa only smiled as he let you, before he too, whispered,

"because i like it when you worry over me."

perhaps the words were simply just charming but you still couldn't stop the frown from etching onto your lips as you stared at him, unfazed.

you leaned up with a sigh and took a few steps away, after which only did you do your next step ; bringing the stick of pain closer to your lips to get a taste of what is in the nicotine in it that has your boyfriend coming back to it time and time again.

"hey, no. don't even think about it." akutagawa tsked as he watched you not reacting or taking his words seriously and with a sigh, he stood up from his chair to take big steps closer to you.

"come on, it's just one puff ryu. you do it all the time so why not let me try it too?" you tried not to grin as you took a step back to maintain the initial distance between you two but one glance up at akutagawa and it was clear that he didn't share the same amusement as you did right now.

"because i said so." akutagawa told, extending his arm to grasp your wrist to stop you from taking another step back and he pulled on it, pulling you and making you bump against his chest as he stared down at you, looking unamused.

"well then if i say so then you should also not smoke." you knew your attempt at negotiation is worthless yet you still tried but when the ends of the man's lips twitched before they curled up into a taunting smile, you knew it was hopeless to even think of using words against the one who weaves words like silk.

you watched with lips parted for a possible protest when akutagawa took the cigarette stick from your hand and brought it towards his lips again.

"and what if i refuse? are you gonna hit me princess?" akutagawa taunted in a low tone as if his voice isn't already enough to make the blood in your body pump excitedly. he even leaned down to look directly into your eyes and so, gulping your shyness, you nodded.

"i will. i'll punch you so hard that you'll be crying like a little boy." you warned or, well, tried to then why did you take a step back immediately?

simple because akutagawa had the ability to make you grow shy and flustured with even a glance so when he took a step towards you, you took one back on instinct as you felt joy twirl your heart in a dance.

"yeah? then why are you moving backwards princess? c'mere and punch me." akutagawa smirked as he said so and you shook your head, trying not to smile as you kept on walking backwards.

and as you did, your eyes went up and down to check the man stalking towards you, akutagawa isn't the most muscular and is more on the lean side yet he still had some assets, from his pale veiny hands to the soft abs hidden by the white short sleeved t-shirt and a leather jacket on top of it. black always did look the best when he wore it after all.

you kept on walking backwards and akutagawa kept on walking forwards ; the dance of the predator and the prey came to an end when the back of your knee bumped against his gaming chair and taking it as an opportunity, akutagawa took a big step forwards and pushed you on the chair with his knees.

you sat on the chair and your eyes immediately widened as the camera lens mocked you from your peripheral vision yet it was the least of your concerns when akutagawa leaned down, placing both his palms on the armrests, the cigarette between his lips as he smirked down at you like a predator who finally has its prey cornered.

if only one of you two could turn your heads to watch the chat going in a frenzy at this unexpected act, then maybe things wouldn't have escalated further but then again, perhaps akutagawa had been searching for this opening to make it clear to everyone that he belonged to someone.

"stop or i'll punch you for real ryu." you smiled up, leaning back on the chair as you bit your lip to suppress the smile which threatened to break on your face.

"go for it, let's see if you actually have the guts princess." akutagawa challenged but when he tried to move back to stand straight, your fingers found themselves clasping around his hand as you did not want him to end this moment.

so with a smile, you took on his challenge as you raised your knee up to hit him on his stomach, akutagawa stopped you immediately as his hand grasped your knee and he pulled it up to make your leg wrap around his waist, keeping you in that position.

"say you are sorry." akutagawa said but you only scoffed, tilting your head.

"or else what? you are going to cry to your mommy little boy?" your cockiness was thrown out of the window the moment akutagawa used his other hand to do the same for your other leg as he did with the first one before he twisted both of your bodies so that he would be the one sitting on the chair and you on his lap.

"who let that tongue of your's get so sharp?" akutagawa titled his head as he grasped your chin between his fingers, looking at the screen to make sure the chat doesn't find this too offending and once he saw the positive response overtaking the negative one, akutagawa smirked a bit to make this more memorable for his viewers before he raised his eyes from your lips to your cheeks to your nose to your eyes, completing a journey in which his eyes feasted upon you and your features.

you do not reply yet only smile as you let him toy with you, finding it hard to not smile when he turns your face to the sides using your chin before letting go of your chin but his assault on your face continues as he lightly smacked you -- perhaps the correct term would be 'gently patting' your cheek if we judge his action and the force he used to carry it.

"answer me." akutagawa mumbled but when he saw you bite your lip as you tried not to smile, he gently smacked your other cheek, entertained by your reactions.

"why should i?" your words hitted the right spots as akutagawa sighed, leaning down on the chair as he adjusted himself and you on his lap before he looked at the chat, smacking you again and making your head turn to the other side.

"wait who was gonna tell me he has a gf?"

"what a daddy. daddy daddy daddy."

"MANSPREADING?? HELLOEWTDD???"

"i moaned and something else purred."

"kiss kiss, fall in love."

"did he run out of topics? what's the use of bringing his gf to this stream?"

"bros desperation is showing."

"what are her socials? i am sure i can treat her better."

oh.

ideas are ideals yet ideas are dangerous if thought about without morality and resistance.

and akutagawa does not entertain any thoughts of this kind where people think they are free to imagine themselves with what akutagawa had already claimed as his.

for akutagawa is a possessive man, quite territorial in his nature.

his eyes narrow like how a tiger's does when it sees someone, a unwelcomed guest in its territory.

the tiger takes a step forwards slowly. akutagawa licked his bottom lip before he decided to take in your appearance to see your chest rising and falling calmly as you breath through your nose, the way your eyelids move when you blink to hide your preety irises from him temporarily before showing itself to him again, the way you are silently smack your lips as you wait for akutagawa to do something or say something yet all he does is stare at you while listening to the comments piling in by every passing second, no doubt many more would've had commented how they think they can treat you better then him.

how on earth can they even begin to think of such a big misunderstanding and how can they, with the passing second, continue to believe the little delusion their mind created for them?

there is a freeze in the muscles of the tiger before it begins to run towards the intruder. akutagawa's hand grasped both of your wrists before he brought them down, pinning them on top of your pubis mound as he leaned up to place his lips on your's, moving them slowly at first as his other hand grabbed your nape to move your face away from the camera and more towards him.

"won't apologise? you wanna keep on being stubborn?" akutagawa rasped, his breath getting a bit heavier as it is desire that is pushing down on his lungs everytime you or he moved, he could feel the outline of your dripping core on his crotch and near it and as you rubbed yourself on his thighs unconsciously during said movements, it drove him insane due to how restricted he is from freely touching you.

it all made sense. the reason for you to barge in and to try and provoke him and as akutagawa grinned at the realization, he smacked your cheek again. "such a needy princess, ain't ya?"

akutagawa had whispered out as to not let anyone else hear him yet his voice came out throaty as he did so, making it sound as if it had a hint of growl in it and that made your cunt to squeeze around nothing as more arousal dripped out of you and onto the fabric of your panties. you only nodded, licking your lip as akutagawa turned the chair around more so your bodies wouldn't be directly visible to the camera.

"so this is why you came to ruin my stream? because your pathetic fingers don't hit the same as your boyfriend's?" akutagawa mocked as he played with your bottom lip by flicking it, akutagawa raised his eyes to look at you as he smirked and let his hand (which was previously playing with your bottom lip) to trail along your cheek before cupping the curve of your jaw, "apologise to me already mommy."

akutagawa had softened his tone at the last part on purpose to make you feel breathless and breathless you were. your hands would've grabbed the collar of his jacket had it not been for his hand pining both of your's down.

akutagawa immediately leaned up to push his lips against your's as he pulled back as quickly yet didn't tilt his head back, choosing to remain in that proximity to tease you further knowing you and him share the same disadvantage of being unable to move freely.

"are you gonna stop --" you words were bought to a halt when akutagawa leaned in again to bump his lips against your's, the short moment of skin contact was frustrating to you,

--stop stream -- " you closed your eyes tightly before opening them again and akutagawa's hands grabbed your hips to adjust you to hide his crotch which is slowly growing hard under you, this caused your hands to be free and you immediately buried them under his shirt to lightly trace through his slight abs, your touch didn't feel as tickling as it felt stimulating for him, a light pink blushed coated his cheeks.

this had caused his eyes to widen and when his adam's apple bobbed as he gulped, a sheet of satisfaction covered you as you slowly parted your legs to have your clothed cunt press up against his crotch more.

"ryu . . . are you gonna stop streaming now or do i have to fuck myself infront of all your viewers to get you --" your words stopped, eyes closed and your hands tracing his abs laid flat out against them when akutagawa tsked mocking, immediately capturing your lips with his.

he moved his lips with aggression and desperation as both of his hands raised slowly up your body, slithering up your sides before one rested on your collarbone in such a way that his thumb pressed against your collarbone while the other four fingers were digging into your shoulders.

akutagawa quickly separated as he raised his hand to smack you on the cheek, leaning near your ear to mutter,

"what a needy slut you are, princess. you wanna let my viewers see how much of a cock hungry slut you are? go on, make a fool out of yourself f'me." akutagawa tilted his head.

his words made your thighs twitch yet you quickly shook your head as your hands clawed at his abs as if desperately trying to hold him, "n-no ryu, 'm sorry, ryu really. please ryu. sorry, 'm really sorry. for real."

your words came out smoothly in a whiny tone as you pecked his lips after every 'sorry' you pronounced and this action of attaining forgiveness and reawaken some slept on softness in his heart made akutagawa grin.

not smile but grin almost close to a smirk as the cockiness radiated off of him.

"you are sorry? really? won't be a brat anymore, right princess?" akutagawa mimicked you by pecking your lips after every sentence he spoke and when you parted your lips to speak, akutagawa shoved his index and middle finger down your mouth as the pads of both the fingers pressed down on your tongue to make you unable to speak or even close your mouth.

"shh. be a good girl and take it." akutagawa said while he pressed down on your tongue more while pushing his fingers deep till they were in knuckles deep, your gags and the saliva dripping down your chin made his cock harden up more.

the saliva dripped down your chin slowly made it hard for akutagawa to remain still, his legs twitched and he pressed down ever harder on your tongue making you jerk up as you looked at him through blurry eyes, the sight causing him to tilt his head back and moan and when he did so, his adam's apple bobbing up and down was a sight for your eyes to feast upon.

"f-fuck it." akutagawa stuttered and cursed as he tilted his head back up before immediately pulling his fingers out of your mouth and instead, replacing it with his lips on your's.

immediately, he pushed on his heels to roll the chair forwards, the wheels of the chair crushed the cigarette which dropped from his hand long ago and along with that, so did his stream end. after doing so, akutagawa's eyes shifted to you again as he lightly digged his teeth on your bottom lip thrice or twice as he leaned back on the chair to sit more comfortably, hands on your curves to guide you to lean back with him.

akutagawa's hands trailed up your body, squeezing the flesh along the way before one rested on your jaw as he gripped it with his fingers while the other once again went lower to grab and grope the flesh of your ass now, akutagawa's lips moved against your's before he began to leave little pecks on your bottom lip for a few seconds.

as he separated, akutagawa looked at the monitor to make sure the stream has ended and once he made sure of it, he turned his head back at you again to see you breathing heavily as you looked at him him with half lidded eyes as you licked your lips.

"how can i not give you my entire world when you are such a patient princess f'me?" akutagawa groaned, grabbing your hips again as he lifted himself from the chair, turning you two around before making you sit at the edge of his chair while he went down on his knees, looking up at you.

"ryu --"

"i know princess," akutagawa intrupted your whine as he clasped both of his plams with yours, pulling your arms and wrapping it around his neck which made you lean down towards him. akutagawa tilted his head up, once again kissing you while his hands undid your shorts knot and slipped under it to rub over the wet patch he felt before too, over your slit.

"let me reward you now, yeah?" akutagawa mumbled in the short course of time where his lips separated from your's before he began to kiss you again, his tongue slipping through the small partition between your upper and bottom lip which you created to allow him access inside.

his tongue swiped over your teeth once before he used his free hand to grab your palms which were turned into fists behind his head, pulling on both of your fists to pull you closer towards him and have his lips pressed dangerously close to your's.

his teeth clashed against your's while his tongue flicked your own, he pulled back slightly to have his attention on your bottom lip as he digged his teeth into it, drawing out a few beads of blood from your lip.

he immediately moved towards your upper lip as he left a gentle and soft peck on it, his finger which was rubbing your slit now moved up to pinch your clit which made you softly cry out.

as akutagawa's finger lowered towards your slit again, so did his lips as they sucked on your bottom lip as he sucked out the blood. your hands grabbed his hair tightly as he leaned up while still being on his knees to push you back onto the chair and he used his hand to push your legs apart and towards your chest after your back was supported by the back of the chair.

two of his fingers immediately plunged into your hole and you moaned out against his mouth which lead him to once again dig his teeth into your lip to draw out even more blood.

your hold on his hair tightened as he showed no mercy, as if the concept is foreign to him with the way he pushed and pulled his fingers out of you so fast, your chest heaved up and down with each thrust.

you were only given limited oxygen to breath into as akutagawa's attacks on your bottom lip didn't halt for even a second, alternatively sucking on your bottom lip and sucking the blood out or drawing more beads of blood out of your lip.

it was when he felt your walls tightening around his fingers that he raised his thumb to rub aggressive and quick circles around your clit, his lips leaving yours as you began loudly moaning and whimpering while your body shook as it prepared for the upcoming and quick orgasm though you didn't expect it to leave your body in such a way.

every nook and corner of your body felt the farewell of the orgasm as pleasure replaced it, your back arched as you leaned back even more on his chair, almost sobbing as akutagawa licked his lips and watched how your legs shook while you squirted, your panties and shorts getting wet was a sight that made his cock harden up even more.

akutagawa immediately grabbed your throat to pull you near him, not caring if you are still breathing heavily due to the orgasm or how your body is shaking, he watched your red and swollen bottom lip and parted his lips, pressing his down on it to experiment with it and see if the pressure of his tongue could draw out blood or not as he once again began to aggressively rub your clit and he whispered out, hot breath colliding with your mouth,

"give me one more princess? --" akutagawa paused to smirk cockily, poking your lip with his tongue. you parted your lips and he immediately began to suck on your upper lip, leaving it only to lick your bottom lip and suck on it softly instead.

your hands shakily grabbed the armrests of the chair to stabilize your shaky body as akutagawa's one hand was choking you lightly while the other was rubbing your clit and when he felt your body tense again.

"make a mess f'me please mommy." akutagawa whispered and watched you crumble down again as your body lost its strength and your head tilted back as your lips parted while you breathed out, short and rushed.

yet akutagawa wasn't one for mercy as he watched with awe at how he was able to make you squirt again, a odd sense of pride settling on his heart and mind.

immediately, akutagawa grabbed both sides of your waist to lift you up and turned both of you around again to make you sit on his lap again, spreading his legs to have you directly above his crotch and he didn't care for how you stained or made his jeans wet.

all he cared was to watch how you let out a dry sob when he humped up against you, the fabric of his jeans colliding with your wet panties and shorts which in turn, made contact with your swollen and sensitive clit and cunt, sending overwhelming waves of pleasure through your body.

"ry-- ry-- yu --- ry --" you cry out again as you weren't given the chance to speak out his name even once as everytime you tried to call out his name, akutagawa humped up against you and left you a moaning and trembling mess.

"what's wrong mommy? thought you wanted to be fucked stupid? hm?" akutagawa innocently asked yet the smug smirk on his face told you just how much he enjoyed seeing you be a mess for him.

akutagawa raised his hand to cup your jaw and pull you closer, he affectionately rubbed the tip of his nose against your's before once again thrusting up against you which made you let out a choked moan.

"my preety princess." he planted a soft peck on your swollen lips before his eyes narrowed and he smirked as he whispered,

"i will make sure to make such a mess out of you tonight . . . mommy." akutagawa teased mockingly as he scoffed and smirked once more before grabbing your hips to lift you up and pull down your shorts and panties just enough to let him see the arousal and cum dripping down your inner side and making a puddle on your panties.

akutagawa exhaled a shaky breath before bringing his hand near your clit and taping his knuckles against it to watch how you jerk up, letting out an affectionate sigh.

"such a preety thing, 's all for me, right?" akutagawa raised his eyes to look at you who was too fucked out to even reply and so, he clicked his tongue before raising his hand up to smack you with the back of his palm, (again, let's not forget that the force of his smacks hadn't once changed and continued to remain gentle).

"i asked you something, ain't you supposed to answer me mommy?" akutagawa raised his eyebrows as he pressed down on your clit yet again and watched leisurely how you jerked up, frantically nodding.

"use your words. you aren't mute, right?" akutagawa commanded and his smugness increased when he watches you sob as you shake your head for he knew just as well as you how he is making it hard for anything other then moans to leave your lips and he cooed as he raised one of his hands to wipe away the sweat forming on your forehead while the other hand had pulled down his zipper

"fine. you wanna be ungrateful to me after i've been so nice to you princess? go ahead and humor me." akutagawa grinned at the way you shook your head while he lifted you up using your thighs, quickly pulling his jeans and boxers down with much effort till they were pooled by his feet and he immediately pushed you down on his hardened and angry cock.

"-yo -- 's your's ry -- ahh - ryu! all of me -- is -- it's your's!!" you end up screaming out as he immediately begin thrusting into you and akutagawa hummed as he watched you shakily wrap your arms around his shoulder, clawing at his leather jacket as you lay your head down on his shoulder only for him to grab your nape to pull your head back so he could stare at your fucked out expression, and before he spoke, he smacked your cheek again as your head turned to the other side due to how lightheaded you feel as you feel another orgasm approaching you.

"such a good girl but don't you dare hide your face. let me see how much i am making you feel good, 'kay mommy? wanna see you as i fuck you stupid." akutagawa whispered and paused for a moment to watch you ; your back is arched as your nails dig into his leather jacket while your eyes are squinted as you try your best to not break the eye contact and akutagawa ran a hand through his hair to push his hair back, chuckling breathlessly before he groaned out, "fuck. fuck me mommy -- let me fuck you mommy. what a hot beauty you are."

━━━━━━━ end 💋.

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awoogayanderes · 1 year

Text

DEFENDING THEM IN A CONVO

➪ request : “omg what about tecchou, jouno and aku when they hear a conversation where someone tells s/o that they're scary but she tells them that they’re wrong and they (the characters) are the purest person in the world.” - anonymous

➪ other notes : im on my writing streak fr (before i burnout and disappear again) non-edited !

Tecchou Suehiro :

- despite of tecchou’s passive attitude, he was a strong hunting dog who shouldn’t be taken lightly

- some people are shocked how you’re dating a strong swordsman and because of tecchou’s passive attitude they don’t have shame in asking you about him

- you were sitting at a table outside a cafe, suddenly a stranger sat in front of you, curiously recognizing who you were

- “i mean aren’t you terrified one day he’ll snap at you, i heard something similar about military men…” the random stranger inquired making a face at you

- unknown to them, tecchou was around the corner coming back with ice cream for both you and him

- it had never occurred in his mind that you would even care about him snapping as you know how well put he is with you

- that being said, he stayed where he was, wanting to see what you would say

- “tecchou’s the sweetest man i’ve ever met, he cares for me in a way no one has ever, so i’d really appreciate it if you stop talking about him so negatively,” and with that you stood up and left in a huff

- what you didn’t expect was to bump into your astonished boyfriend

- “tecchou! you’ll never guess what just happened,” you ramble to him about the rude stranger and he feels both of the ice creams in his hands melting as he’s in awe

- before either of you said anything else, he kissed you gently, a bright red showing up on his face

- “thank you for defending me my love,” he says, finally handing you your ice cream

- he’s extremely lucky to have you, someone who will defend him even if he’s not there, he couldn’t ask for a better partner

Saigiku Jouno :

- known to almost everybody, jouno is a very brutal man, and with the power of being a hunting dog that leads to fear

- everybody is shocked how this man is even dating someone who’s the complete opposite of him, despite most people fearing him, some were bold enough to talk to you about him

- you and jouno were at a restaurant, a minute after excusing himself to go to the restroom someone sat down next to you, weirdly looking at you

- “how could you possibly be with someone as brute as he is? i mean, are you okay in your relationship? do you need help?!” the stranger even reaches for your hand

- of course jouno and his perky ears heard everything, he could feel rage bubbling inside of you, so he silently waited for your reaction

- he knew his methods were considered wrong to most people, but at the end of the day your opinion was the only one that mattered to him

- a smile emerged from his lips as your heartbeat started getting faster

- “i don’t think his affairs concern you, he’s the one protecting you from those who want to harm, and yet you’re here complaining about it, he cares about me, more than anyone has ever cared about you,” you snatched your hand away before getting up with a scowl on your face

- jouno went after you not before hearing the gasp of the stranger

- “the nerve of some people,” you complain when you see your smirking boyfriend

- “no need to get all winded up my dear,” he grabs your hand and with that your heartbeat goes back to normal

- “though it excites me to see you angry over me,” he chuckles and you roll your eyes, thankful he can’t see you right now

- jouno hasn’t needed anyone his whole life, managing to do everything on his own but when you’re by his side, it keeps him calm, knowing that you’ll always be there for him

Ryūnosuke Akutagawa :

- well he’s known as the black fanged hellhound of the port mafia, what do you expect

- same as with jouno, everyone is shocked, even petrified that he’s in a relationship

- you were waiting outside of a store for aku, as he said that he forgot something, that something being a surprise gift for you, and as you were minding your business, a stranger comes up to you and gasps at you

- “aren’t you the one dating a mafia executive?you poor thing, what are you doing being with that monster?!” the stranger exclaims as they get closer to you

- akutagawa comes out of the store to see you angrily looking at the person in front of you, but in a fit of rage you didn’t see your partner

- if anything, he was more scared of you than he was of himself, you weren’t one to mess with when it came to the people you love so instead he waited patiently

- besides, he can’t anger himself too much as he promised the weretiger he wouldn’t kill anyone for six months, so he’ll let you handle it

- “how dare you talk about him like that, you call him a monster and yet he’s more human than you’ll ever be. he loves me and he’s made so much progress that your inhumane eyes will never see!” you yell at them, scaring them away

- as the stranger scurries off, ryū comes up to you, looking at you in a blank

- “sometimes i hate people and their ignorant beliefs,” you sigh looking at your boyfriend

- “um i got you something,” he hands you a box, trying to divert you away from your anger

- “awe you really do love me,” you squeal in delight, “don’t push it,” aku says back

- he knows the things he’s done are awful but if he can make you happy or bring a smile to your face, he knows he hasn’t disappointed you and that’s all he needs to stop him from going crazy

#written by terra #sincerely terra #engraved with tenderness #bsd #bsd x reader #bsd fluff #bsd manga #bsd manga spoilers #tecchou x reader #tecchou fluff #jouno x reader #jouno fluff #akutagawa x reader #akutagawa fluff

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sskk-squared · 2 months

Note

What would be Aku and Atsushi's biggest fear regarding the kids? And the thing they love the most about them? :)

Atsushi's biggest fear is that something will get through the safety net that he and Akutagawa put up and eventually hurt the kids. He tries his hardest to ensure that the worst thing they have to deal with is the usual gamut of childhood woes, not anything like the trauma he or Akutagawa grew up with.

Akutagawa's fear is more along the line that something, or someone, will come along and take his children from him. It's one of those worries that sits dormant in the back of his head at all times--and part of why he's so insistent on training the kids on how to use their abilities in combat despite Atsushi trying to prevent them from having to experience anything that would require them to defend themselves in that manner.

As for what they love most--probably their innocence and curiosity. The kids are rapscallions both and cause Akutagawa and Atsushi no end of trouble, but it's rarely if ever malicious. Ryuu-chan wants to figure out how the world works, and Acchan is a persistence predator on an eternal quest to fill the endless void that some might call a stomach.

Atsushi adores coming home and hearing about their school day, seeing the projects they've made...not so much the cleaning up of the inevitable mess left behind...but that comes with the territory. Akutagawa is actually quite fond of the fact that they both like to shadow him: sometimes helping with the chores or cooking, sometimes stalking him and keeping him on his toes.

(There is nothing like schlepping out of bed at 2am for a glass of water only to look up and see the tapetum lucidum glinting from atop the fridge because your child has escaped his room and is now sleep-hunting you.)

#askbox saturday

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iridescentdove · 9 months

Note

Okay, but like Imagine Akutagawa x Shinobu! Reader (demon slayer) where like it’s just some of the other characters reactions to him having a lover that they somehow did not know about, not even Dazai, they just question how 2 completely polar opposites get together and why Reader would even want to be with some like Akutagawa and Reader’s response is, "His anger brings me joy☺️" no but really because his introverted cold ass reminds Reader of someone Giyuu.

(The reader is mostly based on Shinobu's personality and height, Chuuya lowkey dancing now that someone is shorter than him.)

FLY HIGH, BUTTERFLY.

akutagawa ryunosuke x shinobu!reader

A/N: I love this request! I worked on it immediately. And you're so right, haha. Chuuya must be so happy rn.

Many things in the world happen for a reason, and despite how strange it is, we'd collectively agree that's just how utterly unexpected life is.

But nobody was prepared enough,

To hear AKUTAGAWA himself has a girlfriend. Okay, well maybe she and him just relate to a lot of things by heart.

But to make things even more shocking, you are both absolute polar opposites. Holy shit. Was this a fever dream or is the world actually ending right now? The one who refuses to believe it the most is DAZAI himself obviously.

He will not believe it. Nope, never. This is all a big nightmare. Plus! You were suuuper pretty ... ? Holy shit. He has no idea how it came to this, and how he never even knew.

Obviously, the Port Mafia found out about it first. CHUUYA had met you for the first time – and you will not believe,

But he was the happiest human being alive.

Omg. Like. Someone ...

*sniffs* ... was shorter .. than him ... 🥺🥺🥺

Of course, you and CHUUYA got along really well. And you even made fun of and insulted Dazai with him. Now, you two are known for being the 'Fuck Dazai' duo in the mafia.

whether it mean a figure of speech or literally hoho

AKUTAGAWA doesn't even know why he fell for you. Dude's heart is set on Dazai and the mafia, but suddenly you just flutter yourself (pun intended) into his life and now he can't seem to stop thinking about you.

Plus, you strong and pretty as hell. Girlboss right there. Although you two seem more of rivaled siblings than an actual couple sometimes – it do be kinda funny. EVERY TIME

EVERY TIME he even speaks you come up with the most hellbent and insulting comeback. People begin to question whether ya'll a couple or forced to be one 😭

This bitch Aku reminds you of a certain eyebrowless boy ...

"That weretiger is ridiculous!" - akutagawa

"Yes~ just like your face <3" - you

"If I jump onto that building–" - akutagawa

"Who do you aspire to be, spiderman?" - you

"What? You failed?" - akutagawa

"Yes! Just like your dad's condom." - you

DAZAI literally was just spying on both of yall's for fun, he did not expect that last one. IT WAS FOUL. But then again he's the one that brought popcorn tbh. A free ticket to the drama show for free. And by that, I mean stalking

When AKUTAGAWA is saying something dark or melancholic, you literally just call out the bs and name him spiteful. All of that with a smile on your face.

Once, someone asked you dazai why you'd evem want to be with someone like that emo guy. Much to the surprise of everyone, you just respond

"Cause his anger makes me feel joy 😊"

Um ok?? Like chile-

The mafia lowkey terrified of you. You'll spit out any form of comebacks or insults with such a sweet smile and aura, it was scary to even know what happened behind close doors.

ATSUSHI is questioning his life. Second to the suicidal detective, he refuses to believe someone like YOU is together with him.

Well, until you show your terrifyingly gruesome side.

"I can slash open your stomach rip out your organs. Or gauge out your eyeballs. Choke you with your intenstines or wrap them around your dead body like a necklace."

Whenever he and AKUTAGAWA are forced to fight together, this little white tiger will ask so many questions. He's just so curious about how you and that emo ass got together.

... Uhm well- bombastic side eye

Okay DAZAI is an unhinged dude back in his mafia days but even he is lowkey terrified of you. He likes death, but not the idea of pain or suffering – so the fact you'd be doing all that without batting an eye makes him wanna bury himself 6ft under.

MORI also begins to regret his choices, but hey you and your boyfriend do some amazing teamwork so to hell with it ig

Of course, showing your angrier side is a surprise. You're always so sweet looking with that calm aura and smile. But then ayy full 360, who is this gruesome serial killer woman??

Eh ... well, let's say no one wants to know. Simply, you and AKUTAGAWA are a sweet duo when you're not being petty and insulting him ykyk

He doesn't really snap back at your insults. Dude just tries to deny it with a straight face.

"I'm not depressed. I'm not emo. I have eyebrows."

Last one is not true but ok

Rest assured, you and him are still a good couple. He loves you, might never admit it out loud – but you already know it so you don't need to hear it from him. Just a love life of teasing, insulting, but still pure and genuine love from each other.

#bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs #akutagawa ryuunosuke #akutagawa x reader #shinobu kocho #bsd x demon slayer #demon slayer

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aspoonofsugar · 5 months

Note

What do you think of soukoku? Do you think Dazai has any role in helping Chuuya become a leader?

Hi!

I am not sure about Dazai helping Chuya to grow into a leader, even if I think Chuya will become a leader.

So far, I think Chuya's story in the manga is set-up to have two layers:

Becoming the leader of the mafia

Solving his relationship with Dazai

The first one is prepared in the Cannibalism arc. The second one instead permeates Chuya's screentime in the manga. After all, every arc ends with a sskk fight, but also every arc (minus Cannibalism) has skk parallel Atsu and Aku structurally:

The first arc ends with sskk's first real fight over Kyouka. Just some chapters before, there is Chuya's introduction and his first confrontation with Dazai

The second arc ends with sskk vs Fitzgerald, but the climax is kickstarted by skk vs Lovecraft

The current arc has clearly paralleled sskk's real struggle while Aku is vampirized with skk's fake one over Chuya's brainwashing

In short, sskk and skk are almost always paralleled structurally, which means that even if the new generation is gonna save the world, the old one has still a role to play. Most likely, this role ties with Dazai's arc, which is probably gonna take flight in the climax of the series.

In general, Dazai's plan to make Aku and Atsu partners has a double objective:

a pragmatic one- the combination of their abilities is gonna save the world

an existential one - Dazai is trying to save himself through the two kids

Dazai projects all his past bonds on Atsushi:

Atsushi embodies Odasaku's goal to save orphans

Atsushi is Dazai's second chance to be a good mentor after Akutagawa

Atsushi is an attempt Dazai does to indirectly help Akutagawa after leaving him

The sskk's partnership reveals how Dazai is still emulating Mori to an extent. Mori sets up skk's alliance and Dazai does the same with Atsu and Aku

Finally, Dazai pushing Atsushi and Akutagawa together, so that they can save each other is an indirect aknowledgement of the importance the bond with Chuya has for him.

Sskk represents Dazai's redemption, to an extent. He couldn't help Oda, but can help Atsushi. He left Aku behind, but can still save him through Atsushi. He can't properly communicate with Chuya, but he can recreate his bond with him through Aku and Atsu.

Still, what is Dazai and Chuya's bond? Let's explore soukoku! (Here I finally come to your ask after much blabbering).

DOUBLE BLACK = DOUBLE LONELINESS

Soukoku is a play on words:

It is pronounced "conflict"

It means "double black"

Soukoku sounds like conflict because that is Dazai and Chuya's superficial relationship. They are always annoying each other and fighting. Their whole dynamic is a rivalry.

Soukoku means double black because it describes the meeting between two darknesses. Dazai and Chuya are both engulfed by black, so together they make the black double. They are double darkness.

What does the darkness in Dazai and Chuya's life stands for? The answer is found in Fifteen:

" " existed in a sterile bluish-black darkness. There was no up or down, backward or forward. Even the flow of time was ambiguous. " " had no idea who it was or why it was there. (...) Beyond the heavy darkness was a clear wall. " " knew instinctively that the wall was keeping it inside - that it was a seal. (...) But one day, that seal was destroyed. The sacred realm had been opened, the darkness had been tainted, and the outside world had intruded. Someone was calling " ". (...) A man's powerful hand grabbed on to " ", and reddish-black flames erupted from where it touched. Those were the cries of a newborn. (Fifteen, phase xx)

Chuya recalls his time in the lab as fluttering in a bluish darkness (the black fluid) sealed by a glass wall (the tube). This state is one where he feels nothing and isn't anyone. It is perfect solitude. And yet, Verlaine and Rimbaud come and bring Chuya into the world. They taint the darkness, which is nothing, but Chuya's loneliness:

LONELY DARKNESS MY SORROW, once it is opened by the key I'd rather just fall than go back to being alone Staring at the destroyed cage of this self, (GRAVITY) Slowly, I sing, "Not bad at all."

Chuya is scared to find himself alone again. And yet, he deep down wishes to go back to a perfect and untainted darkness:

I want nothing anymore but simplicity, quiet, murmurs and order. O acquaintances, grantors of dark disgrace, do not wake me again! I will endure my solitude, arms seeming already useless.

In the verses used to activate corruption, the poet gives up on life and community. He chooses nothingness and loneliness instead. So, every time Chuya awakens Arahabaki he is metaphorically giving in to these feelings. He is letting the Tainted Sorrow take control.

This is the contradiction Chuya is built on. He consciously doesn't want to be alone, but unconsciously he is tempted by the bluish darkness of his childhood. Dazai is instead Chuya's opposite. He behaves as if he is unapproachable, but deep down he craves human connections. Chuya and Dazai are made of similar parts, but show and hide different things. This is why they seem opposite, but are actually the same.

They are two lonely people, who crave companionship, but know that bonds come with pain. They are victims of the hedgehog's dilemma:

The hedgehog's dilemma, or sometimes the porcupine dilemma, is a metaphor about the challenges of human intimacy. It imagines a group of hedgehogs who want to huddle together for warmth in the winter, but they cannot avoid sticking each other with their sharp spines. Though they all want a close mutual relationship, their own prickly nature might make this impossible.

Can Dazai and Chuya grow close to people or does their nature make them impossible to understand? Is it worth it to search for intimacy, when it comes with pain? These feelings and doubts are the true nature of Dazai and Chuya's darkness. They are soukoku because they are double loneliness.

Fifteen is the story of these two lonely people meeting:

They picked what they deemed the fairest method of deciding things: the loser would have to obey the winner no matter what. They ended up playing close to a hundred matches, but that's a story for another time. (Fifteen)

Dazai and Chuya are two abnormal teenagers. Dazai is too smart, while Chuya is too strong. This is why they find themselves with no real peers. However, when they meet each other they find someone they can act their age with.

Dazai is usually gloomy and makes people around him uncomfortable. However, when he is with Chuya he gets angry and annoyed like other kids.

Chuya needs to always act as a leader and to put the Sheep's needs before his own. This is why he acts dead serious when he meets Shirase and the girl at the arcade. However, when he is with Dazai he goes back to be himself. He shows his feelings and acts silly, like a teenager should.

Dazai and Chuya don't like each other, but they are attracted to each other because the other brings out a hidden part of who they are. A part tied to humanity and life.

NO LONGER HUMAN

Dazai's skill is called No Longer Human because he feels inhuman:

"He's already dead," said Chuuya. "Quit shooting his corpse." Dazai was puzzled. His expression was bizarrely childlike- fit for a boy his age, yet unlike any he had shown before. His lips suddenly curled into a gloomy smile. "You're right. When you're right, you're right. That's the most common reaction to have." (...) His expression was back to how it usually was: lifeless and utterly disinterested. "Ha-ha. Normal. Ha-ha-ha." (Fifteen)

Dazai sees himself as wrong and thinks Chuya is far more normal than he is. Sure, he has an incredibly powerful skill, but deep down he is just another kid. This is why the reveal of Chuya's background leaves such an impact on Dazai:

Chuya: Arahabaki is me.

It forces him to look outside himself and to reconsider what it means to be human. The point of Dazai's character is that he thinks he is this impossible to read being, who stands above others. And yet, he is really a normal person. Not only that, but he is also pretty childish. He wants friends and grows attached to the few people who step into his loneliness (Mori, Chuya, Oda, Ango, Akutagawa, the ADA). And yet, he sucks at communicating with them out of fear, which leads to more problems than needed. In synthesis, the story of Dazai in Fifteen is really that of an emo kid, who discovers the jock has more reason than him to be emo.

This is why Chuya grows linked to the idea of humanity in Dazai's mind:

"You sound like you're certain he's human." "I am." Dazai sighed, smiling. "There's no way I could hate a man-made character string this much." (Storm Bringer)

In Storm Bringer, Dazai risks the destruction of Yokohama to prove that Chuya is human. He does so because if a guinea pig like Chuya is a normal human, then surely Dazai can be human, as well. Dazai cares about Chuya's humanity because it is linked to Dazai's own humanity. It gives him hope.

THE SUICIDAL BASTARD WANTS TO LIVE

Chuya's skill is called Upon the Tainted Sorrow because deep down Chuya wants to die:

The Tainted Sorrow has Nothing to desire and nothing to wish. The Tainted Sorrow has A dream of death to its wary self.

This is why he is so disturbed by Dazai's suicidal tendencies. He sees a dark mirror of himself in the other boy. This is why Dazai's sudden wish to live impresses Chuya so much:

"Working for the mafia has piqued my interest, albeit slightly," Dazai began. "In the outside world - the world of light - death is kept separate from everyday life. It's swept under the rug. People find it unpleasant. But the Mafia's world isn't like that. Death is an extension of everyday life. And I tend to think that's more accurate. Death isn't the opposite of life, but merely a function of it. We breath, eat, fall in love and die. And you can't get the full picture of living without observing death up close." Chuya quietly stared at Dazai's expression as if he were searching for something human deep inside of him. "So you're saying... you want to live now?" (Fifteen)

And after Dazai opens up about his feelings, Chuya does the same:

"Hey. You wanna know why I always fight without using my hands?" Chuuya asked as he approached Randou. (...) "I've never lost a fight in my life. I've never even been in real danger... But that's no surprise. After all, I'm not even human. My identity is a safeguard, like you said. Hey do you know how that feels? (...) That's why I kept my hands in my pockets. I figured I'd one day feel like I was about to lose, no longer enjoying the fight, but just doing everything I could to protect myself... I thought maybe that way I'd start to like myself as a person - me, a little pattern without a body of my own." (Fifteen)

Dazai and Chuya say the same thing. They both like risking their lives because in this way they feel they are truly living. It is only when they are fighting to survive that they can truly believe in their humanity.

The twist of Fifteen is that Chuya seems more normal than Dazai, but he is really as self-hating and as suicidal as the other teen. And yet, it is because of this similarity that Chuya ends up associating Dazai to life:

Dazai: You used Corruption, believing in me? How beautiful. Chuya: Yeah, I did. I believed in your disgusting vitality and craftiness.

In Dead Apple, Chuya jumps in front of a Dragon and activates Corruption because he refuses to believe Dazai might really be dead. He needs to hold on to the idea Dazai is alive because Dazai's willingness to live gives him the strength to keep on living, as well. After all, if a suicidal bastard wants to live, then surely Chuya can share this wish, as well.

ON HUMANITY AND LIFE - RIMBAUD'S FINAL MESSAGE

Dazai and Chuya are two suicidal and self-hating kids, who meet each other and realize they are not alone in their feelings. This doesn't make their sense of loneliness disappear, but they can at least be lonely together. They recognize each other as human beings, who want to live:

"Your plan better not fail and get us both killed, or I'm gonna kill you, Dazai." Dazai smiled back at him. "I'm fine with that. Now, let's do this, Chuuya." (Fifteen)

Chuya reveals he is Arahabaki and Dazai admits he wants to live. The result of this shared moment of vulnerability is that the two kids enter an alliance and defeat Rimbaud, who is trying to take away their humanity and life. And yet, it is Rimbaud's last words which convey the lesson Dazai and Chuya need to learn:

"Live," Randou said in almost a whisper. "There is no longer... any way of knowing... who you are or where you came from," he rasped. "But even if... you are but a pattern... etched on the surface of raw power... you are you. Nothing changes that... because all people, all humanity... their brains and flesh... are nothing more than patterns - beautiful patterns... upon the material world..." (Fifteen)

Everybody feels cold. Everybody looks for answers they aren't gonna find. The dark feelings Dazai and Chuya have are proof they are humans. And the only thing humans can do is to keep on living, despite it all.

TOGETHER ALONE

Bsd is full of people who are together alone. Let's consider two of these bonds, which foil soukoku:

Rimbaud and Verlaine

Fyodor and Gogol

Rimbaud and Verlaine

Rimbaud and Verlaine are Chuya's literary parents and their relationship clearly foils soukoku. In particular, they fall apart because of communication problems:

Rimbaud doesn't understand Verlaine's pain

Verlaine fails to open up to Rimbaud

The end result is that Verlaine betrays Rimbaud and their confrontation escalates into a fight, which ends with the worst outcome possible for both. Not only that, but they end up projecting their issues on Chuya (their metaphorical child). Rimbaud believes that if he makes Chuya his skill, he will find Verlaine again. Verlaine thinks that if he forces Chuya to come with him, he will stop feeling the loss of Rimbaud. In the end, though, they manage to find each other again through empathizing with Chuya.

Rimbaud understands Chuya's fears of not being human. In this way, he can finally understand Verlaine's feelings. By seeing Chuya is human, he also sees Verlaine as human. Because of this final realization, Rimbaud gives up on his humanity and turns himself into a singularity with no regrets. He becomes Verlaine's core and a proof of his friend's personhood.

Verlaine realizes through Chuya that he himself is human. In this way, he can finally aknowledge his grief over Rimbaud's death and apologize to his friend. Verlaine is a lonely monster, who finds redemption and humanity in a single meaningful bond. Rimbaud symbolically takes the place of his heart.

Dazai and Chuya have similar communication problems. Dazai is unable to be honest about how he feels about Chuya and the people he left behind in the mafia, as a whole. This is why soukoku's interactions are full of gags where Dazai jokes about dramatic confessions:

He probably has something to tell Chuya, but can't. If anything, he leaves the mafia without giving any explanations. And in Beast, he marches towards his death without telling anything to Chuya.

Chuya instead fails to truly understand Dazai's reasons. The mafia is Chuya's family and he is content with it, but it is an organization which sucks away Dazai's willingness to live. Chuya probably fails to see it.

The end result is that Dazai betrays the mafia and leaves both the organization and Chuya behind. It is probable that this past grudge is gonna come up eventually. If anything because past grudges keep being mentioned when it comes to soukoku and Chuya:

Not only that, but just like Rimbaud and Verlaine, it is possible soukoku has their own metaphorical child to save:

Q appears in Fifteen and is the person soukoku join forces to save in their first fight together in the manga. They clearly represent both Dazai and Chuya's inner child:

They are a problematic child taken in by Mori, like Dazai. They are taken advantage of and trapped because of their monstruous abilities. Dazai himself is assigned as Q's guardian.

They have a skill they deep down hate, like Chuya. They even admit they don't want their gift while tortured, just like Chuya does while a prisoner in Storm Bringer.

So, Q is the child Dazai and Chuya used to be. And yet, they both show very little sympathy for them. That is because they have yet to reconcile with the most frail parts of who they are. They can do so only through both Q and each other. Once they do, Dazai will be able to be honest and Chuya will be able to understand.

Fyodor and Gogol

Fyodor and Gogol share Dazai and Chuya's religious motif:

Dazai is often compared to a demon and Chuya to a God

Fyodor calls himself a God and Gogol refers to himself as a rebel angel (aka the Devil)

This imagery highlights how all four characters feel separated from the rest of humanity. At the same time, Fyodor and Gogol are set up as Dazai and Chuya's dark foils. It means they are pejorative mirrors of the characters. They have some traits Dazai and Chuya also possess, but taken up to eleven. In particular, the two couples' juxtaposition is centered around control, freedom and how these two ideas impact relationships.

Fyodor and Dazai are both manipulators. They are able to read others' behaviors perfectly and can control others' actions. This is why they can build exploitative relationships, where others are just puppets. Fyodor fully embraces this part of himself. This is why he refuses to forge real bonds and pushes Gogol away. He can't accept a friend with his own free will. Dazai instead has learnt from his many bonds that he can't fully control other people. No matter how much he tries to turn Chuya into a slave, he never gives up his freedom. He tries his best to stop Oda from dying, but his friend goes on with his suicidal plan. Ango betrays Dazai, despite their friendship. Kunikida is able to surprise Dazai in their first mission together. And so on:

Gogol and Chuya both feel trapped by the world and are constantly fighting against a sense of nihilism:

Even though it feels like I might be trapped, there is no room for sentiments I'll push myself to the limit and dye everything jet-black The world is a bird cage, faded in colour Even if I lament, I can't get out of this prison BUT NOW, DARKNESS MY SORROW I have not yet fallen apart So, as I laugh off this imposed inconvenience Let's overturn even the heavens and the earth (GRAVITY) Within the darkness, a shadow of a hat lightly dances.

Gogol's freedom is nothingness. It is the same nothingness Chuya experiences in the lab, before his rebirth into the world. It is poignant that Gogol uses similar imagery to the one Chuya sings about in his song. Both talk about a cage and the ability to fly away free from gravity. However, this wish can't be realized because being humans means not to be fully free. Neither from morality nor from feelings. Gogol wishes to escape from himself. This is why he wants to murder Fyodor. Because Fyodor is his only bond, a tie. Chuya instead keeps binding himself to others. He starts with the Sheep, goes on with the Flags and with the Mafia. Gogol keeps on fighting to free himself from everything. Chuya instead accepts he is always going to be a prisoner.

In other words, Fyodor wants to control everyone, while Gogol refuses to give up even a small fragment of his freedom. This is why they push each other away and (apparently) lose to soukoku in the current arc. In order to have a bond, you need to trust the other person and to sacrifice some freedom to them. Fyodor and Gogol refuse, so they fail to forge a true relationship.

Dazai and Chuya have similar flaws, but they are lucky enough to have many people to teach them about friendships and bonds. This is why they can have relationships with others.

That said, it is possible the next confrontation soukoku has with Fyodor and Gogol (yes, Fyodor is gonna be okay and yes, they are set up to fight in the future) won't go as smoothly. After all, the role of a dark foil is to challenge the character so they can see their shortcomings. This is gonna happen to Dazai and Chuya, as well.

A TAINTED DARKNESS

Dazai and Chuya are two people with opposite personalities and the same existential emptiness. This is why they gravitate toward each other, but also repulse each other. Theirs isn't a bond that can fix pain. Rather, it is a bond, which is real, despite all its contradictions. In a sense, it is the opposite of Dazai's romanticized double suicide:

Dazai curled into the fetal position and screamed, "Dying with Chuuya? Anything but thaaaat!!" (Storm Bringer)

Dazai and Chuya don't heal each other. However, they keep on living along each other, despite the pain and the messiness. They don't make the darkness disappear, but they manage to taint each other's blackness.

This metaphor is brought home by their use of "corruption".

Upon the Tainted Sorrow is a metaphor of Chuya's inner depression and nihilism. Whenever he activates Corruption, he lets this side of him take over. He goes back to his dark loneliness.

No Longer Human is a skill that nullifies others' skills and it is a metaphor of how Dazai feels estranged from others. Not a human being.

And yet, Dazai is able to use his inhuman gift to bring to the surface Chuya's humanity. At the same time, Chuya's loneliness is tainted by Dazai's touch. Once again, another hand comes into his dark world and brings him back to life.

In conclusion, double black is really two tainted lonelinesses.

#bsd #bsd meta #my meta #chuya nakahara #dazai osamu #soukoku #skk

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cocktailjjrs · 7 months

Text

He LIVED Bitches!!!!

Long post ahead

First thing first... I love this starting pallet (i'm definitely overthinking)

Not complete white not complete black with prominent shadows, because every major character in the show is grey and one half of each partnership likes to lurk in shadows...This just highlights that things won't always be merry and colourful, but they won't completely be helpless...

Now to the episode itself...

We knew Aya was going to jump... Glad she was oh so delicately caught by Aku... I didn't think it was possible to clear everything in one episode, but expect the unexpected i guess...

And the main part of Dazai being alive and kicking...No but really, this is such a relief...

I kinda had the whole thing in the back of my mind that they can't kill Dazai, he is necessary for the plot armour to plot armour and all that shit...

But there was equal chances of Asagiri taking notes from Isayama or Gege and just decide, fuck it... let's keep him dead....If not the confirmed dead thing, then the dead till stated otherwise route that Hori took.

But i'm soooo glad Asagiri didn't do that!!!

Also, glad to know he is still as cocky as ever

AND AND AND

I screamed!!!! My fam started looking at me for two whole minutes like i've just gone crazy!!!

Because we got the prettiest boy speaking!!!

The look on Fyodor's face when he realised he was played by the one he had completely under his control (or he thought he had)... I think he realised the 'shallow bond' comment haunted him in this moment

I will deep dive into what exactly happened in those seconds in a later post, but i just wanna say

This is soooo damn funny!!!! Like you have this big bad mafia boss who has been MIA for the whole part of world destruction and his precious city being in the centre of it all (lets face it mori loves Yokohama more than he loves the whole world, he would gladly let the world burn if it means keeping that damn trouble-magnet city safe!) - BUT BUT BUT, then when things start to look up you only get a mention of the said boss and that too with a goofy fact such as he glued in vampire fangs to one of his executives! Don't tell me it's not an embarrassing dad thing to do, because it is!!!

I just know he, Hirotsu and Koyo has a hell of a time getting teenage soukoku to adulthood alive!!!

I mean -

WHAT DO YOU MEAN SIR YOU USED TO DO THIS ALL THE TIME???

No one's doing it like them!!!

Plus i just know Manga coming out is going to be even more gay than the anime, there will be more explanations and more fruity moments!!!

On a sad note...

Fyodor actually seems to be dead ( even if i don't believe it)

It hurt so bad to see Gogol man going - i wanted him dead, no i didnt, but maybe i did. His voice alone mad me sad...

But you know what i'm not sad about???

Getting rid of Fukuchi!!!

I'm not going to pretend that i felt even an ounce of sympathy for him, his whole 'i did this so you can bring peace' or 'some sacrifices are necessary for greater good' thing seemed forced to me. Like a desperate attempt at ending his character arc on a forgiving note, positive note...

But like i said, most characters in this show are grey... But there was none of Fukuchi's shade, and i didn't like it, even if in the end he wanted peace.

i do feel sad for Fukuzawa though,

He will have to live with that curse...

Plus i don't think Fukuchi is completely gone...

Decay of angel's may be over, but the mess they have left behind is not, there is still the other side of the page and whatever the fuck went down in those two hours...

But i'm glad that atleast Aku and Atsushi are on same side this time...

and this looks so much like:

So yeah, it's just another start!!!

Plus, You remember Soukoku came to fame after final battle of Dragon Head conflict?

The Finale of Decay of Angels will the foundation of Shinsoukoku's journey...

The two of them against all the threats to come...

We sure are in for a treat!!!

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circinuus · 1 year

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I read your dad Fyodor post and I was wondering if instead of reader getting with Dazai it could be reader getting together with Akutagawa?

fyodor with a daughter dating akutagawa

0.5k words. fem!reader

❥ since the post in question involved reader as fedya's daughter, i'll write fem! reader for this one too! hope you don't mind, nonnie

the dad fyodor post

Now I'm wondering just how Akutagawa my boy ended up with a Dostoevsky. Regardless, I trust that you take care of him well <3

No matter who his daughter is seeing, Fyodor is protective by default. Natural fatherly instincts aside, he has this viewpoint about how humans are foolish and sinful. Crime is as natural as living and breathing, so humans need to be 'saved,' and the world needs to be 'cleansed.'

If that is truly how he views humanity, I don't think he will deem any person worthy to be romantically involved with you. Even if they're a literal saint.

Bonus points if you're a non-gifted, and if you have nothing to do with his Fyodor-typical criminal activities. You're the closest to being 'sinless' and father! Fyodor doesn't want you to get tainted by anything.

Tough luck for Akutagawa because he's a gifted and he commits crimes for a living💀

Again, father! Fyodor will be more protective and controlling than brother! Fyodor. Simply because the sense of responsibility and belonging is bigger, and he has more power in his position as your parent.

See? Your dad just wants the best for you <3

The whole 'you-are-not-worthy-of-my-kid' aside, Fedya sometimes uses Akutagawa as a pivotal piece in his grand schemes. I feel like he won't specifically dislike him, but he absolutely loves you! That being said, father! Fedya might indulge you and let you meet your dearest Akutagawa—until he finds him better off dead than alive in his quest of creating a world without ability users.

The man, as pale as the winter in your homeland, with steps as light as its snow—your father approaches your disconsolate state. As cold as his appearance may appear, his gesture is warm as he drapes his dark coat over your trembling self, a hand resting on your shoulder while the other comfortingly rubs circles your back.

"What did I tell you? The world is just as sinful as it is unfair," he said. "Sacrifices are eventually inevitable. But it's okay за́йка¹, you're safe with me now," he hushes your silent laments as a hand moves to pet your head.

I mean—look at what happened to Aku in the manga// I'm so sorry, I just love making this man evil.

Alternatively, Fyodor will make an exception because Akutagawa looks very polite :) Just for your fondness for your beloved, he might pull some strings and, let's say, exclude Akutagawa from whatever disaster he is planning for the detective agency, the government, or the Port Mafia.

Akutagawa can be such a sweetheart. I think if he ever gets the chance to meet father! Fyodor, he won't be intimidated, as per se. But he will try his best to be respectful. Because duh, Fyodor is the father of his s/o—as long as he doesn't know his soon-to-be father-in-law might pose a threat to the mafia and/or his sister.

Akutagawa does have this traditionalist vibes and so does Fedya. He obeys people he respects too. So anon you're up to something, this might actually work??

зайка¹ and any other diminutives of заяц (ZAyats)—bunny rabbit—are used when speaking to loved ones, very close friends, and children (source). //cmiiw

honestly, i'm interested in hearing everyone's interpretation of fedya's character. figuring out this man got my brain in a backflip ngl i just kept on making him kill everyone🥲

♡ @ashthemadwriter

#bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd x reader #platonic fyodor #fyodor x reader #akutagawa x reader

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spacexseven · 2 years

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tuna you have nooo idea how many ideas i have about yans falling for their doctors but i will give u something simple: port mafia; ie: chuuya, akutagawa, pm dazai, etc. x good-natured hospital doctor. one day theres a major clamor about how someone turned up outside the hospital with grievous injuries. at first its all hands on deck to help them, but eventually someone figures out that theyre mafia and everyone jumps ship. darling’s colleagues try to persuade them away from the dying mafioso, telling them how getting involved with the mafia in ANY way will turn out bad for them and to just leave them to their fate, but darling keeps to their oath and decides to take over their care.

its tiring work, working round the clock alone to keep this bastard alive, but it’ll all be worth it in the end, right? wrong. yan’s FIRST order of business when waking up and finding themselves in a hospital is to flip out. threats, attacks, the whole shebang. big tantrum. eventually darling reasons with them that theyre far too injured to go anywhere for the time being without like. dying. (this wouldnt work on dazai that well lol) and if they wanted to turn them in or kill them they wouldve done it like 2 days ago. they even agree to submit to the mafia’s retaliation if they find their care insufficient. their patient agrees, albeit very angrily, and darling sets off on the worlds most thankless job.

any of these fuckers will give darling a run for their money. dazai would spend a lot of time trying to intimidate them into letting him out early or goad them into killing him, stealing things to hurt himself with, harassing the nurses, faking symptoms, anything he can think of to make their life harder. chuuya is just NASTY, nothing to say to the person Saving His Life besides threats and insults. can never leave a check up on akutagawa without at least one bruise. so on and so forth. no support from colleagues either, darlings decision to Do Their Job making them a pariah. even so, they offer their testy patient their care and kindness without falter. as soon as theyre well enough to get up and walk out, thats exactly what they do, and darling would be lying if they said they werent glad to wash their hands of the whole thing. they’re, of course, back the next week with a new injury that they INSIST that DARLING SPECIFICALLY must look at and suddenly acting like they’re besties. darling lets them, of course, even as the injuries they come in with are more and more ridiculous, all the while trying to gently steer them away from ever coming back before they get them arrested.

well, if you didnt want them hanging around you maybe you shouldnt have been so sweet. are they supposed to forget about you holding their hand through shockwaves of pain? your soothing voice? the way you stayed up all night to watch over them while they slept? do you think they get THAT at the mafia infirmary? say, why dont you come and work there! they see how your colleagues spurn you, how ungrateful your other patients are for you. doctors are VERY highly regarded among the mafia, itd be a great fit for you! itd also let them personally make it up to you for being so awful before. win-win, right?

- 🩹

i am terribly sorry about how long it took for me to answer this 😭😭😭 i did consider a similar idea but w/ darling doing the underground doctor job for extra money (we need to start raising funds for darling) as well if you're interested!!

im gonna use dazai as a placeholder for this if u want one w chuuya and aku lmk :>

cw: yandere characters, obsessive behavior, jealousy, obsession, injuries, harassment, taking advantage, implied coercion.

injuries aren't uncommon in this line of work, and bleeding out with a terrifyingly gaping wound is not a new sight for port mafioso. usually, though, mori already arranges for other people to come in and take care of the injured, and they steer clear of hospitals and clinics. it's not smart to get civilian doctors involved in this.

usually, things go as planned.

today, it didn't. dazai's subordinates were strewn somewhere else, leaving him wounded and isolated. to make things worse, he was positioned awkwardly close to a busy street. he should have anticipated that the enemy would have some other trick up their sleeve. now what? was he going to die here, like a disgraced dog? he would prefer something less painful and embarrassing, but beggars couldn't be choosers...

maybe he should have accepted mori's offer of even more backup.

he couldn't reach for his phone, and even if it didn't hurt so bad and he could get it, his fingers were trembling so much that he knew he couldn't type out anything. god, how pathetic. death was death. he couldn't be too picky about it, could he? he would welcome the end.

to his surprise, he woke up.

he was sure he was in a hospital. the plain walls, the simple bed. the papers nearby and the person in a white coat gave it away. this was bad news, terrible news. he wasn't supposed to go to any hospitals or clinics unless mori said so, and now he was here, getting treated by any regular civilian doctor.

obviously, dazai decides the best course of action is to kick up a fuss. they wouldn't hold him here against his will, right? he screams and kicks and threatens everyone until he's exhausted and the staff is ready to throw him out themselves, but you stop them. he recognizes you as the person in his room when he woke up, and watches as you defend his behavior by telling everyone how confused and frightened he would have been after waking up with no recollection of what happened in between. confused, frightened? he was mortified by your choice of words, and worse yet, it was working. everyone backed down, turned their backs and went on with their day.

and you have the audacity to turn back and smile at him like you hadn't just embarrassed him, telling him that it was expected he would have reacted so negatively, promising to help make sure his stay was as comfortable as possible. what stay? he wants to get out, but when he voiced this demand with a hoarse throat, you look more shocked and rush off to get him something for his voice instead. you sit down beside him with a hand on his and carefully explain why he has to stay and why it's important he works with you for a speedy recovery. you ask him for who you should contact since he didn't seem to have any existing identity, but he only turns away and tells you he wants to leave.

he does this for as long as he's hospitalized, complaining about everything, reminding you he doesn't have cash and that killing him would be your best course of action, since he couldn't afford the bill anyway. he tries to run away and pull off stupid stunts, but nothing works. it's infuriating how calm you are about everything. you leave and go back to your usual routine, stopping by to check up on him occasionally. the other staff, however, look terrified of him, and he relishes in the trembling hands and rushed exits. during one of their visits to sort out his room, dazai pretends to sleep so they can actually get things done without fearing he will kick them all out the window, and overhears a particularly interesting conversation.

he learns that you were the one who insisted they treat him despite everyone else noticing the signs that he was probably part of some underground organization. some determined line about how it's your job and you need to help everyone regardless of personal feelings. he thinks it's all bullshit, but your determination...is kind of cute. it's only a matter of time before you end up as soulless and exhausted as everyone else in the city, though.

then the long awaited day comes, and you announce that he can leave. he doesn't care to ask for a bill or thank you, running out and disappearing to talk to mori again, but he would be lying if he said he didn't think about you even after that day. for some reason, something about you really stuck with him. it might have had something to do with your relentless insistence to help, your unwavering patience, your calm conduct, or maybe your...voice. your sympathetic tone, your firm hold...your presence.

a week later, dazai shows up to your workplace and demands he get his hand checked out. he whines until they drag you down and then he exaggerates his terrible condition, how important and urgent it was and how he needed to be kept inside the hospital for a few weeks at least this time. it's very serious, you know. you saw through his lie, but you don't bat an eyelid, immediately complying to his outrageous demands. he was a little happy that you hadn't changed. so despite how often he showed up, with a new but small injury, you took it in stride and treated him with all the concern and seriousness he expected. could you blame him if he liked to be fussed over like this?

what he didn't like was the knowledge that you treated all your patients like this. none of them deserved the same meticulous inspections, soothing touches, dedicated service, and warm smiles you gave. it wasn't fair that he came in all beaten up and you could only come in for a quick greeting before rushing out after another patient. and for what? your meager pay? well, if he could talk to mori and get you brought over as a personal doctor for some of the high-ranking members, you'd get paid well and you could be with him all the time while doing what you loved. it was the best of both worlds, wasn't it?

#yandere bsd #yandere x reader #yandere bungo stray dogs #yandere bungou stray dogs #yandere bungo stray dogs x reader #yandere bsd x reader #yandere bungou stray dogs x reader #yandere dazai x reader #yandere dazai #yandere dazai x reader #yandere dazai osamu #dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader #doctor reader 🐟

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teacupballerina · 2 months

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So assuming Blossom doesn't turn evil. what carers do you think the ppg would have as adults?

Blossom would be a self-made entrepreneurial CEO [tech] but would have several degrees in things like psychology, law, history etc. She also has a hobby of historic preservation, so donating money/time to saving old buildings and monuments and stuff.

Bubbles could be a veterinarian, farmer, park ranger, or kindergarten teacher. I like the idea of her being a kindergarten teacher after Miss Keane retires, but I see her using her animal communication skills as a ranger or vet. No matter what she does she has a hobby of art.

Buttercup clings to superheroism because much of her identity is wrapped up in fighting bad guys. If forced to quit by virtue of having no evil to fight, she would be a detective or cop and there's even a chapter book about it.

ALTERNATIVELY, the girls do have roles/jobs with Aku as well in an ending/AU where they all turn: Blossom the Queen, Bubbles the Soul Collector and Buttercup the General. All three of them add their "key to the world" spin on the Aku future; Blossom makes mortal society matriarchal and throws touches of pink on the cities, Buttercup extends Aku's authoritarian surveillance state business, and Bubbles gives everyone PUPPIES!!! [they are essence]

#ppg #powerpuff girls #headcanoning #ask teacup #akubloss #akuppg #thats the bad timeline where aku immediately realizes the girls have his essence in wol and he just uses them to nuke townsville lmao

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mncxbe · 11 months

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𝘼 𝙜𝙡𝙞𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝙝𝙤𝙥𝙚○

𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐱 𝐄𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

The moon is beautiful tonight, isn't it?

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: slight angst// happy ending

𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: Aku's trooma

The lights of the city were glowing brighter with each step we took towards the bridge.

I had succesfully finished interrogating a suspect in a warehouse and was now walking home with my superior, Ryunoske Akutagawa.

He was a man of little words so we didn't talk much as we made our way through the maze of dark alleys. Eventually we left behind the large depots and reached the seafront. The sky was clear, stars glimmering like pearls on a sea of blue velvet. The moon cast it's light on the city, reflecting in the still water of the river.

Although the city was far away the unmistakable sounds of traffic echoed through the night.

I stepped towards the railing, resting my forearms on the cold metal and admired the view in front of me. Akutagawa noticed my sudden absence and hissed.

"What are you doing? Let's go."

I shook my head, my eyes fixated on the city.

"Let's just stay here for a while"

He let out a huff but surprisingly enough joined me.

"The moon is beautiful tonight, isn't it?" I said eventually. Akutagawa remained silent so I continued. "I just love the city. It's rare that I get to see it like this, from afar. You see how the light falls on those buildings far away?" I asked, pointing at something in the distance "And the people... There are hundreads of people in each one of those buildings, behind every window. When I think about it, about how big the city is, how many people live here, I feel so small. Every single one of my actions, my ideals, goals, even my feelings are meaningless when compared to the amount of people in this town; or in this world. They fade away. I mean, even what we do for the Mafia, is it really that important in the grand scheme?"

I suddenly felt Akutagawa's anger. It spread in my body like a wildfire. I turned my head to the side, facing him. The man was clenching his fists, his knuckles turning white.

"Did I say something wrong or-?"

"How dare you say something like that, huh?" he interrupted. "How dare you?"

His expression darkened. His upper lip was slightly curved upwards in disgust.

"How dare you say that what we do is meaningless? Of course, you're a city girl. You grew up in one of those fancy apartments. Every day after school you'd come home to a good meal, to a loving family. I bet you got dozens of gifts every Christmas, right?"

I nodded slightly, averting my gaze as he went on.

"You never went to sleep hungry, you were never cold, you never had to worry about making it through the night or fight for your life. You grew up without a worry in the world. You had everything I ever wanted."

He took a quick breath, meeting my eyes again.

"I get that this is just a job for you, a means of making money. But it is so much more to me. This is my life, Y/N. And you cannot go around saying that my life is meaningless, that all I do is for nothing, that it doesn't matter. So you have no idea what you're talking about. But of course you don't. After all you know nothing about the life here" he added, gesturing towards the warehouses behind us "You belong in the city". He almost spat the last words, returning his gaze to the moonlit city.

I remained silent until his anger dissipated. I thought about his harsh words, the meaning behind them. A wave of regret took over me when I realized how inconsiderate I was, how deeply my words hurt him.

Suddenly, the stillness of the night was broke by the loud honk of a nearby ship. The vessel past swiftly, distorting the reflection of the city. I watched the image form itself again then looked at the man next to me. Akutagawa's shoulders were slightly slumped, his hair gently swept by the wind. There was a certain longing in his eyes as he scanned the glowing buildings of Yokohama.

I turned my back to the water and contemplated the endless number of warehouses in front of me. Glowing streetlamps were scattered around the black depots.

"The moon shines brighter in the slumps, you know?" I eventually spoke.

With the corner of my eye I could see Akutagawa tense. But this time there was no blooming anger, no rage. He turned his back to the city, letting out a low chuckle.

"And there's a bridge across the water" he replied under his breath.

A smile made its way to my lips as I acknowledged his words. 'So there's still hope for us' I thought, letting my head rest on his shoulder.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #akutagawa x you #bsd akutagawa #x reader #bsd angst #akutagawa x reader #my meow meow

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ech0schamber · 11 months

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I am STARVED for akutagawa angst. I am begging!! I need a fic, where reader and aku know each other through the port mafia. Right? They get close 🤭 BOOM?! One day she leaves like dazaii?!!! 🤯 (omg) he is obviously betrayed. BUT THEN (drumroll) CONFRONTATION. He finds her again. How will it end up? Could he ever forgive her?? 🤔

ahhh, i really hope that you don't mind that i'm sticking to the bulleted headcanon list like my other posts! i'm really bad at writing drabbles (is that what it's called?)

☆you had worked for the port mafia for quite some time, slowly working yourself up the ranks

☆during that process, you had become close friends with this emo cat. akutagawa had actually started to admire you after a while. it seemed like no matter how hard the job, or how injured you got, you always got right back up with a cheery smile on your face

☆he would eventually become fascinated by you, but who wouldn't? you seemed too nice to be a part of the port mafia, a little too happy as well. it's like nothing in the world could actually get you down

☆let's pretend that was all a façade tho! it's exhausting to work for mori, especially since it doesn't seem like he cares about the members of the port mafia unless they are a higher up

☆you never let it show, but it was really starting to wear you down. each scar you got was just another reminder of what hell you were put through everyday

☆i'd like to think that even akutagawa never noticed this. the two of you had become really close friends, he'd even fight to keep you safe if you got too badly injured during a mission, something he doesn't do for anyone (besides gin)

☆it was kinda obvious to everyone else that aku liked you. but you were an oblivious fuck /affecationate

☆it got to the point that people started to take bets on who would ask out who first, when you guys would actually get together, or if you guys would get together at all

☆don't judge them, it can boring at work sometimes

☆but of course, some stories don't get a happy ending :]

☆you had grown too exhausted from the work you had to endure everyday, tired of the scars that litter your body, and just tired of dealing with mori. you had run away, left everything behind. you wanted a new life for yourself

☆of course, you wanted to explain to akutagawa first. you had debating telling him for a full week before you decided against it. it was going to hurt, but you had to leave. akutagawa would for sure try to keep you in the port mafia, he saw no point in leaving this life style

☆so instead, you had packed the bare necessities and ran away like a dog running away from a scolding. you didn't have too much money, so you couldn't leave yokohama. you didn't think too much of it, yokohama is pretty big right? there's no way that the port mafia has power over all of it

☆and your plan had worked. you actually managed to get away from the port mafia, you had settled down and found a job at a small shop near your place. it wasn't the best work in the world, but it made you happy. you had finally found peace through the raging storm

☆it had actually been a couple of years before you ran into any members of the port mafia. you had probably changed the way you look now, but not drastic enough that no one would recognize you

☆and of course, it was akutagawa that you ran into :]

☆the port mafia had been informed that someone who looked like you was working for the same small shop. of course someone was gonna rat you out, you don't exactly get to just leave the mafia without some conflict!

☆mori had decided to send akutagawa for this as he'd be more likely to recognize it it was actually you or not

☆so there he was, casually strolling into the shop you worked at. he immediately recognized you, and was filled with a bad mix of emotions. fury, betrayal, sadness. he almost started a fight with you before you even noticed that he was there

☆thankfully you had noticed before and shooed him out of the shop before the owner started to question things. he oh so casually threatened you, stating that you better explain everything before he used roshomon on you

☆while you didn't explain all of it, you did tell him that you were tired of the life style that came with being part of the port mafia. you had grown tired of the constant fighting, of constantly worrying about your life, tired of the scars, just tired of it all. you were shaking by the time you were finished speaking, you added that you just wanted to move on and make something good out of your life. you only life once, yeah?

☆you also told him that you wanted to tell him. you didn't want to leave him in the dark like that, but it wasn't safe to do that. if someone had found out that he knew where you were, they would torture him until he finally let up. you were too scared to tell him, and it still hurt like hell that you had to do that to him

☆little did you know that aku had finally managed to gather his feelings up, and was about to ask you out before you left :,]

☆he didn't speak much during this confrontation. it hurt to find this out, it hurt to see you again. all those emotions he managed to bury came flooding back, except for the love he once carried for you.

☆you had finally managed to ask if he would forgive you. you were met with a simple "no"

☆it hurt, but you could understand why. you were more shocked when he talked again.

"But I won't tell the boss where you are."

☆he, of course, didn't let you respond to this before he turned and walked away. you couldn't help but smile at that. maybe some stories have a bittersweet ending

☆and he kept true to his word, he reported back that it was just a misunderstanding, that it was simply just someone that looked like you

☆but now you two avoid each other in public, not wanting to stir those emotions back up. let's hope that mori never sees you. im pretty sure he will kill you if he does

-------

i hope this is angsty enough :']

#bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #akutagawa x reader

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sputnikbeomie · 8 months

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bsd beast lightnovel spoilers //

so,, i just finished reading beast and I am...damn that was so good, far better than I expected

there's so so much I want to say about it, and wish I had annotated it but instead I took a few pics of pages when I could remember to 😭

I don't think I'll ever be able to look at the scene in the anime where oda throws akutagawa over his shoulder the same ever again...the fact dazai actually did achieve death in this book,, the way dazai knew about the book and all the parallel worlds outside of the beast one...the scene where dazai said "for this is the only world where he's alive and writing" actually made me tear up. I think out of the whole novel that scene in particular really got to me, especially after the scene in the bar and dazais emotions are shown so clearly on his face when talking to oda, and just the whole explanation of the book and other worlds (including this particular world) when explaining to both aku and atsushi was just so well done

For me, I considered it rather that of a plotwist reading the whole book only to get to the end for that to be said. And asagiri's own notes at the end of the novel too...what if atsushi was a woman, what if the ada was on verge of bankruptcy, what if chuuya joined the ada alongside dazai when he first left after odas death? Like. Although this was an au, its events are still canon. They're canon because asagiri himself wrote it to show what if... and the fact he purposely has dazai mention the book and the other worlds...even when he starts clapping after shin soukokus fight saying "that's as good as, if not better, than the ship fight you two had"

LIKE?!?!? And the way asagiri literally confirmed that no matter how many au's there are...how oda is dead in every single one of them but beast...I'm crying. I could still go on and on and write actual essays about this book but yeah. I have so much more I wanted to say but my brain is so beautifully overwhelmed rn by the world and novel that is beast. All those thought aside, I would just like to also say how I absolutely love aku's character design in this 😭 his clothes were so well done...and his personality too 😭😭 I just loved this side of him

ANYWAYS after all that being said (I'm sure I have so much more I wanted to say too but I just can't comprehend rn,,)

I'm going to finally start stormbringer !! Time to cry from what I've seen so far 🫶🫶 I'm so excited to read it hehe, and I'm sure I will be even more gobsmacked after finishing that lightnovel than I was beast so 🤧 (I also posted this whole thread on twt lmao but I just needed somewhere to vent cause I have no moots to talk about this with let alone the lightnovels 🤧

here I go 🫡🫡 onto stormbringer

#bungou sd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #atsushi nakajima #akutagawa ryuunosuke #chuuya nakahara #bsd odasaku #beast #bsd beast #beast lightnovel #bsd beast lightnovel #shin soukoku #soukoku

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cultofgalaxy · 10 months

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⭐Starsprite Companions⭐

Starsprites are a celestial species found, albeit rarely, in outer space. Back in ancient times, when Galaxy ruled the universe, starsprites existed in their billions. Now, with Galaxy gone, they have severely dwindled in number, having been left to fend for themselves against Blackhole and his voidwraiths. Many have died over the years (and they cannot reproduce), although a few remain. Many of those that have not died have been turned by Blackhole, becoming his ungodly spawns after being consumed by him.

Starsprites in general are tiny, bright, living star creatures that roam the void of space. It’s very rare that they ever visit planets. They have unique abilities, such as shooting solar flares, and giving off light and warmth. They might often come across as a friendly species, but they can also appear hostile when they feel threatened by another species or individual.

In the present day, starsprites are an extremely uncommon sight, particularly in the night’s sky. its a common misconception that starsprites have the power to grant wishes. They’re arguably one of the unluckiest species around, for their decimation at the tentacles and maw of Blackhole, and their helpnessness without Galaxy. When Kinoko enters space, the starsprites must rely on him to restore their fallen mother Galaxy, and they will do anything they can to aid him in his quest.

⭐What role will they play in the game?⭐

As Kinoko explores the game’s various planets, he’ll occasionally come across the remains of crashed meteorites. These mysterious space rocks contain trapped starsprites. Whenever Kinoko releases one, they’ll join him on his travels, helping him out on his mission by protecting him from harm, and sometimes even providing powerful enchantments to power-up his abilities.

Starsprites in a variety of colours

Starsprites come in a number of different colours, signifying how powerful they are and exactly what they have to offer. All starsprites function as a single-use shield, but the rarer varieties offer even more useful effects. When you release a starsprite from its meteorite, there’s no way to know which kind you’re going to get, so there’s an element of surprise involved here. Behind the scenes, we generate a random number, the result of which determines which starsprite you end up with. You can be accompanied by up to three starsprites at any one time.

Example of how starsprites would function

youtube

In some ways, starsprites are similar to the Aku Aku masks you can find scattered about the world in the Crash Bandicoot series of games. Like the Aku Aku masks, which are found in crates, starsprites are found upon the smouldering debris of crashed meteorites. Like the Aku Aku masks, which protect Crash from harm, the starsprites have vowed to protect Kinoko however they can, and will shield the kuparkuke from a single hit of damage before flying away to recuperate.

Starsprite idle animation

The primary function of a starsprite – and it’s the same regardless of the starsprite’s colour – is its shielding effect.

Whenever Kinoko’s hit by an enemy or projectile, one of two things can happen. If he has one or more starsprites with him, one of them will shield him from harm before flying away. There’s no way to determine or influence which one will do this. You might lose one of the common yellow ones, or you might lose one of the rare ones, as well as whichever magical passive effect it was granting. On the other hand, if Kinoko has no starsprites available to shield him, he’ll take the damage himself and die. (He’s fragile like that.)

that wraps up this introduction to starsprites. Honestly, everything I’ve described in this blog post is subject to change, so don’t be surprised if things turn out differently. As it is, though, I think we’ve got a decent system here, and everything I’ve outlined here today is already developed and working.

I hope y'all continue to support this project as we're working really hard to make it the best as we can make it. 💖💖💖

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kyouka-supremacy · 7 months

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part 1- alternatively Atsushi made Akutagawa do that promise because he wanted to be proved right. Because he didn't believe Akutagawa was capable of such humanity and had his firm imaginary version of Akutagawa (you've made many posts about that already) and would get offended whenever Akutagawa would go off-script, even for stuff like grocery shopping or stuff like being chatty. And Akutagawa was so perceptive and wise recently Atsushi wanted to prove himself that he was actually right

about Akutagawa and be comforted in his worldview. He doesn't have to think critically about Akutagawa or go outside of his black and white worldview if his doubts about Akutagawa being all that bad were gone, so he wanted to be like "I was right all along actually he's the actual worst", cue why he was so bewildered to witness Akutagawa actually keep his promise, be there for him, and sacrifice himself for him, and why he was so utterly numb in the aftermath and couldn't proccess it. Which is why all of us have trouble pinpointing when Atsushi fell in love, it seems weird that he was "firmly not in love" prior to that and only fell after 88, because stuff prior seems to suggest otherwise (be it 84-87 or stuff waaay prior). there was all that build-up in SSKK, all that slowburn that didn't get anywhere. Be it cannibalism, all the banter, or all their meaningful interactions, nothing enough to fall in love at the time but too much to be dismissed so there was a "Crossroad" of sorts ? But also Atsushi was pretty uncomfortable with the sort of mental intimacy he was starting to get with Aku and hard in denial, and wanted to go back to his comfort zone, the "akutagawa is evil and not a person capable of feelings" so he made Akutagawa agree to that promise. And if Aku broke it where he could see Atsushi would be fully justified to go all out against him. I doubt even readers really expected Aku to keep that promise until the end AND YET, Akutagawa prove us wrong, he prove us wrong and he prove Atsushi wrong and he assert his humanity and character so beautifully I was breath-taken, if we go by a SSKK-shipper premise, that's my favorite premise because it's way better that way in my opinion, Atsushi placing his trust in someone dubious is not anything new in this manga (he wholly trust DAZAI of all people), he's someone who likes to be in his comfort zone and doesn't like to think too hard about morality so him digging his heels in and wanting to go "gotcha ! I knew you were the actual worst !" (even after seeing Aku keeps his promise he couldn't trust him vs Fukuchi) and getting his world-view utterly upended and thinking really hard in the aftermath and making a serious attempt to make amends (as seen in round 1 of SSKK vs Fukuchi and round 2, or between 88 and 107), and adjust his worldview due to Akutagawa more than we see him do in other instances. But we also get the Atsushi trusting Akutagawa despite all odds, in ch107 and after, and believing in his character and his humanity. Even after the big bad Akutagawa has become a soulless vampire helping the end of the world of all things. And it's a development I like

I think this is a plausible and coherent interpretation of the canon material! I don’t agree with it – and I’m going to elaborate on why in a second -, but I think the elements you brought in support of your take are fully sensate and make a perfectly valid interpretation of canon and of Atsushi’s character.

It’s just, to me, that’s a bit too cruel for Atsushi to do. Atsushi has already been horrible to Akutagawa (that’s why Dazai-san abandoned you and disappeared and so on), but it was also moments of great stress where he kinda snapped. Atsushi does hate Akutagawa – at least for as far as chapter 51 goes, I’d say -, but to be fully intentionally hurtful, to basically plan so that he could humiliate Akutagawa? I don’t think he’d go that far. If anything because Atsushi’s hatred for Akutagawa more frequently than not translates in “I don’t want anything to do with this dude” rather than “I want to actively take part in offending him”.

There’s another point I already fleetingly mentioned in my previous reply, but that I think is relevant: Atsushi would never wish for Akutagawa to not keep his promise for the simple fact that Atsushi does not want people to die. Atsushi is greatly affected by people dying, and has repeatedly shown reacting strongly against the idea¹; Atsushi may be selfish, and he’s not an hero, but he does share that little human decency that makes him sad when people die. Killing people mercilessly, without regret or second thought is exactly what he accuses Akutagawa of doing (“a murderer who just wants to bandy his power around”, chapter 35). I think here we’re tracing a thin line between “Atsushi hates Akutagawa because he kills people” and “Atsushi wants Akutagawa to kill people so that he has a reason to hate him”, but the first affirmation must be the one to be preferred when analizing what went on in Atsushi’s mind when he made Akutagawa promise, because Atsushi's wish for people not to die comes before hating Akutagawa both chronologically (he hates Akutagawa just because he’s wanted people not to die in the first place) and thematically (people not dying has the priority over hating Akutagawa and thus wanting to see him fail).

In the end, I fear that saying Atsushi wants to test Akutagawa specifically in order to confirm the image of ruthless man he has of him may end up being a logical fallacy. In order to prove Akutagawa is bad Atsushi should acknowledge that he holds preconceptions towards Akutagawa, admit that he holds prejudices he wants to prove. But Atsushi is not aware of the prejudices he holds for Akutagawa, he just instinctively and unconsciously assumes he’s bad. But if he’s not aware of such, than he has nothing to make Akutagawa prove, because Akutagawa just is bad. I hope this makes sense. If Atsushi’s words to Akutagawa represented a test, I can’t see it as anything but a genuine test of Atsushi sincerely wondering whether Akutagawa can be up to the challenge of keeping the promise, and hoping that he would- hoping, even if for just one soon to be forgotten second, in the good that’s in Akutagawa.

I don’t know if I’m landing in shipping territory now, it’s hard to tell because sskk’s bond in canon is already enough deep and complex without me having to do anything. But like… I do want to belive Atsushi was slowing shifting in his perception of Akutagawa after what they went through together in the cannibalism arc. I know I’ve made several posts on how the image of Akutagawa Atsushi has in his mind is strikingly different from the real Akutagawa, and how it’s very hard for him to get over the prejudices he holds… But he did change his mind in the end. Atsushi did reach his hand towards Akutagawa after Akutagawa sacrificed himself for him. And it may have all happened in the fight against Fukuchi (that was indeed a moment of primary importance for Akutagawa’s personal redemption to Atsushi’s eyes), but isn’t it also sensate to believe some seeds of growth had been planted beforehand? I think it’s fair to believe it was more gradual than what it may seem at first look: Atsushi’s stubborn insisting that Akutagawa is heartless, then, may actually be his way to suppress his subconscious telling him that maybe Akutagawa doea have an heart after all. And growth doesn’t happen linearly, one can have their own relapses, so I think it’s still coherent (and human) of Atsushi to be disbelieving of Akutagawa keeping his promise even after he himself made him do it.

Now, I LOVE the idea of Atsushi willingly pulling out (taking refuge in, even) the “Akutagawa is an horrible person” argument in response to them having gotten closer, I especially /love/ the idea of Atsushi getting uncomfortable with emotional vulnerability². It’s brilliant. I’m such a fan of characters having sudden relapses as soon as they realize something in the relationship they’re in has changed. I can see Atsushi starting being more hostile, because hostility is familiar, hostility is something he knows, hostility is something he can work with; he doesn’t know what it feels like to care for Akutagawa, he doesn’t want to care, he’s confused and scared, and that’s why he wants to go back to the interactions he’s used to (which is nothing but an illusion, because nothing can ever stay the same, and everything changes). I’d totally read a fic on that.

Btw I’m once again carrying forward: the shipping scenario of Atsushi ending up subconsciously (but never intentionally) wishing for Akutagawa to break his promise so that he doesn’t have to fight him and kill him. Because Atsushi is a selfish person at his core, and honestly he would have people die rather than lose the person he loves. I’d love to read a fic that tackles this aspect.

Thank you again for your elaboration, this sure gave me a lot to think about!!!

¹ I feel like it’s particulay impactful how mad he was at Kyouka in chapter 27, whereas he’s never shown being anything but kind and compassionate with her. Additionally, the “We won’t kill! That’s not what the Detective Agency does.” From Dead Apple (immediately followed by threatening Akutagawa’s life, but like, I guess to Atsushi Akutagawa is just special)

² That’s not something I ever considered before, but I feel like it fits Atsushi’s character a lot. To make a similar comparison, it’s like sskk and physical touch: the most instinctive take is often to label Akutagawa, the serious, grumpy, scarred one as reluctant to touch, and the sunny Atsushi as the touch starved one. But I find the reverse take to be a more nuanced interpretation: Akutagawa grew up in the slums with a family of ragged orphans, in extremely poor an unhigenic circumstances; he was probably used to body proximity, as well as sleeping near other people. Atsushi grew up all alone, and was even often put in isolate cells. He is the one who’s always ever known hurtful touch, whereas it’s easier to believe Akutagawa, while sure knowing it well too, might have rarely experienced what it’s like to feel a touch that isn’t destined to harm. The same could have happened with emotional vulnerability: Akutagawa has a sister, maybe he *is* more willing to it (which, don’t get me wrong, is still super little. It’s just that Atsushi is a lost case and is easily topped). Atsushi grew up completely alone (the orphanage environment wasn’t hostile just on the end of the directors, but on the one of his fellow orphans too) and taught to constantly suppress his own emotions together with his inner self.

#Btw The School of Athens by Raphael. That’s you and me discussing sskk Anon #Then again I feel weird saying Akutagawa is more kin to emotional vulnerability than Atsushi.#Yeah‚ that can’t be right. They’re both equally terrible.#Funny enough thinking back to the Atsushi Fitzgerald match in chapter 34‚ Atsushi seems inclined to think people won’t keep their promises #atsushi nakajima #ryūnosuke akutagawa #sskk #shin soukoku #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd analysis #people asks me stuff

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