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adrunkgiraffe · 3 years

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I have been through this journey before, so I get to be actually frustrated about it.

IUnder a read more because im not subjecting y’all to this. Also: I should caveat I haven’t watched the episode cause I’m waiting till its on Netflix but I have watched way too many other episodes of Supernatural so I have a right to say these things.

TL;DR: I mean you all knew Cas’ confession was fucking bullshit and that SPN is...hm. But I’d like to actually express my genuine frustration, for a moment? I’m going to say things you already know, but I have too much knowledge of this show and too much stupid meta in my brain about a series I haven’t genuinely enjoyed for at least 5 years which makes this not just blandly bad but disgustingly insulting to me not even as a gay just as like. A writer?

Or, even shorter: Cas’ confession is just a Charlie Bradbury Speedrun

So. As some of you may know if, for some reason, you followed me back in 2013 (and till...okay fine 2015), I used to be, uh. Really into SPN. Really, I was into Destiel. Like, as in, I slogged through seasons 1-3 to get to Cas and am also really vulnerable to the Sunk Cost Fallacy and projecting onto characters. (I was in 8th grade in 2013, okay? Get off my back)

Also, because I monopolised use of the TV, I kind of...also got my parents into it? In a “this is silly but fun” kind of way.

Over time, critiques of the show from viewers, learning what queerbaiting is at all, fatigue with how long it was going, and also fatigue from how characters I enjoyed, like Rufus, or Crowley, or Ellen, or Jo, or Kevin, or Charlie, or Cas a few times, kept getting killed off. As time went on, it didn’t escape my notice that, aside from Cas, all of these characters fit one or more of the following criteria:

They were a woman

They were a person of color

Were Queer or Queer-coded in some way (listen Crowley was bad rep but at least Mark Sheppard actually kissed a man on screen)

I also just...generally got tired of the way the show treats women and sidelines people of color.

The final straw really came with Charlie’s death. It got us all excited, because she hadn’t been back in a bit! And it was interesting to see how reuniting with her dark side from Oz had changed her! (yeah remember the fucking Wizard of Oz storyline? The writers sure don’t!) And maybe she’d get developed! Because at this point, Charlie and the fairly good writing of her character was a major upside for the series! Charlie was cool, fun, gay, and morally complex in a way...none of the female characters had been before her, in large part because by definition, her relationship with the boys would always be platonic.

And then. Offscreen. She is violently murdered. For no damn good reason. Like, literally, her being brought back in this episode after fucking off to europe after having returned from fucking off to Oz seems to have filled two purposes in total.

The codex is solved (but Sam doesn’t know till next episode)

Charlie is dead, which means Dean can be angry, specifically at Sam, and kill more people because he’s the big bad this season.

That’s it. Two things. Twooooo whole reasons to do this episode. Whoopee.

But you didn’t come here for this, you came here for me to rip this reveal to shreds. Don’t worry, I’ll get there. What I want in your minds is that Supernatural already had a really good anddynamic queer character. And then they killed her off to make Dean angry. No, it doesn’t matter that they brought her back in season 13 or whatever. They made that decision.

After the rage this incited, I started realizing general flaws in the writing (I had probably already noticed them but now I was angry enough to complain.) Every conflict is born of Sam and Dean not communicating/taking on burdens and Dean being angry at Cas for reasons that ranged from good to ridiculous, but in a way that always went way too fucking long, (which...yes, does make the “you do it for love” gifs fucking hilarious). It didn’t help that seasons 11 and 12 were next, which meant Demon Dean and GOD’S FUCKING SISTER, plus the decision to resurrect Mary, which, while I do like her later scenes, as a season 12 finale it...well I’ll be honest it kinda sucked. It undercut the majority of the Winchester’s’ arcs and their slow and painful journey out of their father’s toxic vengeance quest and knowing Mary as a person when it’s too late to know her was one of the last semi-compelling grounders of the narrative.

By this point it was a hate-watch for my parents and I.

So then, I’m at college, and I’m not watching anymore cause I don’t have the motivation or access to Hulu to continue, and SPN is bad. I watch the Scooby Doo crossover when it comes out and my friend and I make fun of it, and we also continue making jokes about Dean and Cas and queerbaiting because we’re queer, but I don’t keep up. My Dad does though, so when I return, I watch some with the fam and lads. It’s even more tiring without context.

So flash forward to Quarantine, my sister, the only one with taste, has left, and we have run out of netflix to watch. So we return to the well, and seasons 13-14 are. I’m gonna say it. Bad. Really fucking bad. The cycle of bad communication continues, season 14 has like seven antagonists and the way it’s structured makes it so I literally cannot remember the timeline of a season I watched 3 months ago. Oh also, they have a queer coded cannibal snake monster for...well I guess Jack’s snake bud was cool but like. Huh wow it’s almost like these writers don’t handle queers well.

Our one saving grace is Cas, but he’s barely in any episodes, though I did note that his deal with the empty, being happy completely for one moment killing him, that struck me as “this has potential and I know they’re gonna half-ass it somehow.” Also Jack and Mary, but then oh...plot….The most compelling it gets is literally the finale.

But then, 3 days later, the first half of season 15 comes out on Netflix and it’s...actually kind of acceptable. The new character they give Jack’s actor is fun to watch him play until they make him evil. Exploring just how toxic Chuck can be gave the series direction again. The alternate future was genuinely scarring, and Eileen’s return was genuinely moving. Most of all, though, Cas got the opportunity to tell Dean no, that Dean was being unfair to him, had always been unfair to him, and he was sick of it. I had no illusions, I knew Destiel was never gonna happen, and Cas was gonna die, but giving him that bit of agency, letting Cas grow and be self-sufficient, and be angry with Dean not for existential reasons but interpersonal ones, was such a good sign for me, and Dean grew too! Dean fucking apologized for being horrible and Jensen Ackles had a...yknow what, ill give it to him, he had a good acting moment.

But the thing. About. The “I love you.”

Let’s take it in parts.

What was good: I’m gonna admit it, lads, “Wanting what I can’t have” - AS A LINE - is good, and, structurally, there is something to the Empty Deal that could have been an interesting aspect of Cas’ arc when it comes to self actualization and being on even footing with Dean. The problem is, this is Supernatural, and that arc only comes up when I bring it up because character study, even in bad media, is fun for me.

What was bad:

I mean. Like. All of it? All of it.

Okay. Fine. I’ll be specific.

Cas dies immediately when - possibly because- he is revealed as having feelings for Dean. They kill him as they queer him, that’s a Bury Your Gays Speedrun right there.

Like the least they could have done is have him mention it to someone in another scene or something to establish some romantic feelings on the part of canon a full episode beforehand. That would have been the literal bare minimum.

When Cas starts praising Dean, for some reason both the writing and Misha’s acting take a bit of a downswing (from...where it already was). Cas, whose most powerful moment this season was acknowledging that Dean’s anger at him is cruel and unfair, flatly praises him for doing everything out of love and it reads with a misunderstanding of both Dean as a character and Cas’ understanding of Dean. Dean is angry! VERY ANGRY! And it’s a problem he needs to work on and rarely does.

Talking out of my ass, a better speech would have been about how Dean is angry because of his love for Sam, family, and the people around him, how, for better or for worse, he can’t help but be angry on behalf of others, and that his journey of moving that tendency towards the better is what made Cas care so much. Guys this alteration to the metaphor took 2 minutes to write tops I am an Art History student and these are TV WRITERS WITH YEARS OF EXPERIENCE CAN YOU TELL THEYRE NOT TRYING YET?

A better speech would, of course, have come out of a better series. My point: this part was half-assed. Poorly written. Wow it’s almost like the series is also poorly written.

Also, Misha is the better actor of the three(***OF THE THREE), but his choices in that scene are jarringly out of character which. Makes the bad writing worse. It doesn’t help that they cut to the same fucking shot of Dean 3 times. The chemistry in that scene makes it feel so fucking hackneyed. Because it is.

This combines lead me to the point: (wait there was a point to this?)

As someone who does not have the luxury of watching this capsized ship fall into boiling seas from a distance, it is less insulting to me that they did this so last minute and then sent Cas to the Void than it is how they did it. They had ingredients for something that could have been compelling enough to me as a former fan of the show to think that they had put effort into it, that they had decided months, perhaps even years ago to do this, and had crafted a storyline around it. That this was an intentional decision they cared about. It wasn’t. It was barely even pandering, because it’s almost insultingly blatant.

SPN kinda proved to me that it didn’t care about queers when Charlie was killed off. It proved it to me again when Cas, not only died in confessing his love for Dean but did it in the weakest result of what could have been a surprisingly strong story.

#destiel #i don't fucking care im tagging it #bury your gays #queerbaiting #homophobia #also: i should say there are a lot of moments where i refer to aspects of the writing as good #this either means i was 14 when I watched it #or #it's something that i find compelling #that #IN ANOTHER SHOW #OR IN A HYPOTHETICAL WHERE THE WRITING ISNT LADEN WITH HOMOPHOBIA #could be fun to explore #like there are these structural motifs #and themes #which could have made the show good #could have made that confession...passable #but they didn't even write it well by supernatural standards #is my point #My other point is i get to actually be mad about this because I actually watched and put emotional energy towards this show #i shouldnt have but i did #so now I get to write about it #and if you reply we been knew to this post #youre correct #but also #wow do you maybe think I was already aware of that?

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doctordisaster · 4 years

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Okay, so about the space movie: it is not good. I haven’t come out of a star war feeling this disappointed since the prequels. It’s worse than revenge of the sith. I think it must be better than phantom menace, but I’m not sure. That’s how bad it is: I’d need to rewatch the worst installment in the series to confidently rank the newest.

I’ve seen some people say they enjoyed it in the theater but liked it less the more they thought about it — which was more or less my experience with Solo. That was not my experience this time. I was numbed, bored, or annoyed for most of the movie’s runtime. There are a few good moments, but it is by and large just not fun to watch.

It also appears to have been plotted by an angry mob of reddit incels. Bad fan theories, unwanted redemption arcs, and pointless throwbacks rule the day. Assholes drove Kelly Marie Tran off of Twitter; JJ Abrams drove Kelly Marie Tran out of Star Wars. Every moment of character development from the previous film was actively and loudly reversed. As a matter of fact, every status quo change in this very film was reversed, usually within seconds of screen time. At every point at which the movie ought to have turned right, it turned left.

Below the cut I’m going to list things I liked and things I didn’t. Don’t read it if you want to be surprised by the movie's disappointments live in the theater.

Good things in space movie no. 9:

The little goblin who works on droids is cute

Lando’s scenes are all very nice

Chewie trying to hide in a crowd was funny

Wedge! I love Wedge!

I loved the design of Kylo Ren’s space office

The moment where literally every spaceship that has ever been in a star war shows up. Also the moment where literally every person who has ever played a Jedi speaks a line. These are each a nice gimmick, although I am not sure both should have been used, and certainly not that close together.

I like the moment where Poe and The Female Person Poe Put His Definitely Heterosexual Penis Into At Some Point In The Past have a whole conversation just with their facial expressions. It’s especially impressive because The Female Person Poe Put His Definitely Heterosexual Penis Into At Some Point In The Past is wearing a metal helmet that entirely conceals her face.

The scene where Finn and The Female Person Finn Is Going To Put His Definitely Heterosexual Penis Into At Some Point In The Future bond over the shared elements of their history was very nice.

The scene where force ghost Luke explains that he was wrong to isolate himself from the universe is nowhere near as good as any of Luke and Rey’s scenes in TLJ, but it’s definitely necessary considering how confused some fans seemed to be on this point.

Some of the banter between the main three is quite fun

The scene of young Leia and Luke doing Jedi stuff is lovely and I wanted more of it.

Bad things in movie 9 from outer space:

Everything about Palpatine. Bringing him back is stupid. His plan is stupid. His inexplicable motivations are stupid. The fact that he has apparently just been sitting on his ass for 40 years is really stupid. Not explaining how he survived being thrown down a bottomless pit, exploding, and then the station he was on also exploding is extremely stupid.

Speaking of stupid, Rey Palpatine is the single worst idea that has ever been in any of these films. One of the most obnoxious things about JJ Abrams “mystery boxes” is that the mystery he deems the holy grail of box mysteries and buries deep deep down at the bottom of the mystery box is consistently something obvious and bad and not even slightly clever. There were literally two dumb fan theories for Rey’s parentage — Kenobi and Palpatine — and Palpatine was the one that was dumber.

It’s worse than midiclorians, because now Palpy fucks. Palpy canonically fucks.

Gross.

The only potentially good thing about bringing back Palpy is getting to enjoy Ian McDiarmid’s gloriously campy performance again, but for some goddamn reason they trap him on an empty soundstage lit only by strobes, then color grade everything to pure gray so you can’t fucking see what’s going on.

I get that it’s supposed to be the heart of evil and darkness, but good production design can evoke that without making it impossible to see the actors and unpleasant to look at the frame

Speaking of which, how is this movie so ugly??? There are maybe three visually nice locations and everything else is just hideous. This is a complaint I’d never even consider leveling at a previous star war. Even the shittiest ones were beautiful to look at.

Every Star Destroyer has an onboard death star superlaser now. I started by booing, saw that the superlasers are just a metal cock and balls, and then laughed my ass off through the rest of the supposedly serious scene where it blows up a planet.

The way you kill a star destroyer now is you shoot it in its dick

The only people who will be pleased by this movie are Reylo shippers and that is a horrible thing to be true

The macguffin chase that constitutes the first two thirds of this movie is pointless and boring. I especially loved the multiple times when someone lost a macguffin only to go “oh I forgot I have a spare in the glovebox”

Can we even list all the times something supposedly momentous happened only to be reversed moments later?

chewie dies! wait it was somehow the wrong ship even though they were in the middle of a literal fucking desert and there was no other ship around

The Female Person Poe Put His Definitely Heterosexual Penis Into At Some Point In The Past just got obliterated along with her entire planet by a different penis, this one attached to a star destroyer! oh wait she didn’t. no explanation she just didn’t die.

also the droid gremlin is with her

hux turned spy for the resist— oh wait he’s dead

Rey killed Kylo! But she feels bad so she heals him back

Palpatine just killed Kylo! Oh wait he didn’t. No explanation he just didn’t die, because JJ needed him to immediately reverse another supposedly momentous death.

Kylo smashed the macguffin! we’re doomed oh wait glovebox

Palpatine just electrocuted the entire rebel fleet to death! oh they got better

There’s absolutely no way to get across these waves! Oh wait Rey just... went across them

Well maybe it’s because she has the force and was able to oh wait Finn just went across them too

Well maybe that’s because The Female Person Finn Is Going To Put His Definitely Heterosexual Penis Into At Some Point In The Future is such an expert at navigating the oh wait Kylo is there as well

If only this movie took place in a universe with vehicles that do not touch the ground, we could have skipped this entire stupid subplot

3po makes a massive sacrifice by allowing his memory to be wiped! oh wait he had a backup

I also hate that 3po’s memory wipe is treated, before it happens, with pathos and gravitas, and then the moment he actually loses everything about his life and all his friends, it’s IMMEDIATELY treated as a joke

I love the way Rey is briefly dead but then Kylo goes “oh no!” and uses the last of his life force to bring her back. I wanted her to go “oh no!” and then use the last of her life force to bring him back. And then he’d go “oh no!” and use the last of his life force to

When the emperor dies, they show a montage of star destroyers blowing up elsewhere in the galaxy. Including one over endor? Why did they have a star destroyer over endor. How did the ewoks blow it up? Did they tie a log to one of the other moons and another log to another other moon and then cut the vines and the logs went smoosh

At the start of the movie Palpy promises Kylo his throne and limitless power in exchange for the one thing he wants most desperately in the world, which is for Rey to be dead. Then Rey shows up and Palpy goes “ah good you are here, I need you to kill me so my spirit can transfer to you” as though these demands aren’t utterly contradictory on every level. Then when she refuses he’s like “oh well, I suppose I can suck your and Kylo’s life forces out and rejuvenate myself to rule anew” as though that isn’t vastly preferable to plans A and B from his perspective

why is he in this movie

Having the knights of ren in this movie really justifies Rian Johnson’s choice not to have them in TLJ.

Every time the knights of ren appear, the timpanist bangs out the music cue for the sand people, so I think John Williams just decided that they ARE sand people in different hats.

Remember the eerie moment in TLJ where Rey and Kylo were connected across a vast distance through the force and Rey was in a monsoon and when the connection closed Kylo found some raindrops on his glove? Remember when Luke used a similar ability, without any physical transference, and the strain was so great that it ended his life? Now do you remember when TROS turned that into a totally mundane effortless 3d fax machine so they could pass necklaces and macguffins and lightsabers back and forth constantly, and even have whole physically real saber duels even though the script was too lazy to put them in the same place? Hey that fucking sucked

Remember Rose Tico? JJ doesn’t

The scene of Poe “micro-jumping” the Falcon is awful on so many levels. First of all, it’s just a one-off joke from Guardians of the Galaxy, but played straight for some reason. Second, changing the setting of the chase every few seconds makes the action just as numbing and impossible to follow as Michael Bay’s worst. Third, it makes no sense that the TIEs are following them through the microjumps, and the fact that they can do so makes the microjumps completely pointless. Why are you even microjumping if they can just follow you? Then the characters spend several scenes going on and on about what a big deal microjumps are, only for no one to ever do it or refer to it again.

Rey asks “what was snoke’s deal,” as though reading off a card with questions from our most obnoxious audience members, and Palpy goes “Snoke was my creation” which makes sense, like he trained the guy and equipped him and pulled his strings from the shadows and no, wait, the camera is panning over to a literal Jar O’ Snokes that Palpy just has handy in his empty strobelit soundstage.

I wish the camera had kept panning to show a Jar O’ Phasmas and a Jar O’ Huxes and maybe a Jar O’ Unkar Plutts so that all the characters from TFA could have an Offically Explained Back Story

If he put all the jars in another jar he could have a Jar Jar and the circle would be complete

I liked the part where they were having a lightsaber duel on a pier and the swings got slower and slower and finally they stopped and just kind of stared at each other like “wtf is even the point of this” because that was exactly how I felt at that moment.

tbh that was exactly how I felt for most of the movie

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moonraccoon-exe · 4 years

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Hey! Sorry I had some pre-midterm tests to deal with! :/ anyway, for the supportive characters and stuff for gladnis, could I see stuff with glaives, the other chocobros, and... up to you! (A little bit of little sister Iris would be heavenly though...)

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AGAIN, SWEET MUFFIN, I AM HERE TO DELIVER yo pizza

I don’t know if these two asks are the same person (are you? :o) BUT LOOK AT THAT. SAME WANTS, SAME NEEDS, SO I SHALL PLEASE THE THIRST. And I hope it’s ok to put these two asks together? They’re asking for nearly the same, so I thought it was ok, but if either of you have any troubles with it, you tell me, okie? :3

BUT HERE I AM, ANSWERING THIS DELIGHT OF AN ASK ALKSDJFG YES. GLADNIS DEARS, I MISSED THE OTP.

Anyways, these are gonna be shorter for each character as they’re plenty, but they’ll form one big post so I hope you like it! :3

How other characters (besides papa Regis) support Gladnis:

Noctis

My boy is…slow.

He’s really smart, he’s just…very dense.

He’s known both Iggy and Gladio since he has memory, he’s just…very, very…v e r y dense in these matters. Very. Like. Very.

Ignis literally TOLD him about his crush on Gladio MULTIPLE TIMES.

Did Noctis catch it? OF COURSE NOT. He thought Ignis just over worried about his personal relationships, and never noticed he spoke about Gladio in ways he never spoke about others. And same the other way around, Gladio also spoke about Iggy with Noct AND THE IDIOT STILL. DIDN’T TIE ANYTHING TOGETHER.

Sixteen year old Gladio, blushing crimson red, messing with his uniform: “Do you…do you think…Ignis will think i look stupid? Or…maybe…or maybe if I do something to my hair…”

Noct just be like lmao why are you so stressed over a uniform you dummy thing what does ignis care anyway lol

He knew via Ignis. And of course he didn’t get it.

“Today was really nice. Gladio and I went to the park and just spent a nice while talking…I hope…maybe we can have a second date soon…”

Noctis is like yeah that’s nice

“And it’s official now! I don’t know why, but it just makes me more nervous, but in a good way. Is it normal? I’ve never…I’m just so happy, from among all people, Gladio chose me? AMONG ALL PEOPLE NOCT.”

yeah that’s nice specs :)

Noctis thinks Ignis is just talking about friendship, and when he uses romantic terms like date or boyfriend he THINKS IGNIS IS JOKING BECAUSE WHY WOULD HE BE TALKING SERIOUSLY

noctis pl…please

He finished processing it for real HAVING TO SEE THEM KISS.

Noct was talking with Gladio, chatting chattering, then said bye. Gladio was going through a hallway, Ignis appeared, they said hello, then hugged, and proceeded to kiss.

Noctis.exe Processing data.

Ignis and Gladio spent the while hugged snuggled and talking, and smooched again.

Noctis.exe Processing, please be patient.

Ignis and Gladio held hands and started going away together.

GASP

“OHMYGOD WERE YOU FOR REAL!?!?!?!??!”

Noctis.exe has short-circuited

Noctis supports them, just acts like he doesn’t give a damn.

Noctis is The Teenage Brother; will go Ew at everything romantic they do in front of him.

Gladnis snuggle.

“Eeeeewwwwwwwwww”

Gladnis smooch.

“UGH- UUH- EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW”

Iggy pokes Gladio’s nose and Gladio proceeds to pepper his face in smoochies.

*noctis gagging noises*

Gladio may shove Noctis in between them on purpose to annoy him. There were have them, Gladnis smooching with a much smaller Noctis trapped in between their chests, flailing, screeching, completely ignored and about to explode.

Noctis is the Worst wingman.

“Hey Noct, do you think Iggy will like me in this outfit?”

“eh”

he’s busy with the face buried in a cushion while he rots in boredom, DON’T INTERRUPT HIM.

“Hey Noct. Do you think Gladio already has one of these? I want to get him one but not sure if he has one already.”

“yeah”

Yeah what? Noctis you’re not helping

Noctis does as Regis and will sometimes use his power to get these two to be together, but, unlike Regis, he won’t say shit about it and will even deny it.

The prince requires of his chamberlains in this room which is conveniently empty and there just casually happens to be a secret door for the roof on this particularly starry night.

“I. FORGOT. OK? I FELL ASLEEP EARLY, I WAS TIRED, COR NEARLY SET ME ABLAZE IN TRAINING, I FELL DEAD ASLEEP, I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW ABOUT THAT DOOR, LEAVE ME ALONE.”

Noctis is a gossipy little shit, but in a good way.

“Omg Iggy guess what today Gladio spoke about his cap ripping, see, I already told you what you can get him for Crystal Day, hm? HM? YOU’RE WELCOME.”

Also uses it to his favor.

“Ten gil and I tell you what Ignis wants to do for his birthday. He told me. Hm hm. For real. TEN GIL I SAID.”

Prince Noctis PROTECTS HIS BELOVED BROTHERS AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH TEETH AND NAILS, OK?

There’s this magazine that put up some tabloid stupid article that distorted something Ignis said and made Gladio look bad.

Noctis is alone in his office, feet on the desk, swinging a little on the chair, phone to the ear, and FREAKING AN G R Y.

“Yes, that’s what I said; put the article down and make another one clearing it. No, I’m not your boss, but I still request it. I will request it only once more. No? Then how much do you want for the brand? I will buy it and do it myself. Yes, I will buy it. My name and occupation? Prince Noctis CXIV, why? Oh? Aah, so NOW you want to put it down? How nice of you, guess you only needed time to re-consider it, right? It’s ok, it happens to the best of us, how kind of you.”

Ignis is trying to help Noct walk out of some place without being asphyxiated by the media, so he gets the spotlight.

“Mister Scientia! There’s rumors you and the Shield of the prince are DATING?”

Ignis freezes a little.

Noctis proceeds to let out tHE BIGGEST BURP OF HIS LIFE.

Next day tabloids “Prince Noctis BURPS LIVE! OOPS!”

The media are RUNNING STRAIGHT TOWARDS GLADIO.

Noctis is JUMPING BEFORE HIM TAKING HIS JACKET OFF AND DOING AN IDOL POSE.

“HAVE I TOLD YOU GUYS I’LL BE HAVING A BIIIIIIIIIIIG BIRTHDAY PARTY NEXT WEEK!?!?!”

Socially Awkward Ultra Timid prince Noctis actually stood there POSING for the cameras for ten minutes to get them distracted from the relationship announcement.

“Prince Noctis will host Huge Extra Most Expensive Billionare Birthday Party OF HISTORY!! WOW!!”

((big birthday party was pizza time with the chocobros lmao))

If Gladnis ever have a misunderstanding or problem, Noct is the first they go with. Noct is there to comfort them individually, and, smart boy as he is, he also figures out the mistake and plays a big role at fixing it.

“What? Oh no, that’s not what he said. Or not as you think. He meant…”

“Oh? Oh no, that’s not what he was doing!! Ahahah you dork, no! Actually…”

Noctis keeps asking “When are you dorks getting married?” to embarrass them and make them go shy.

Joke is on him when they DO GET MARRIED.

Noctis keeps complaining that how dare they be boyfriends, how DARE they be boyfriends, MAKING HIM, THE ACTUAL PRINCE, THE THIRD WHEEL?????

But whenever Gladnis have the slightest misunderstanding, Noctis is first to go SMACK SENSE BACK INTO THEM HOW DARE THEY GET UPSET WITH EACH OTHER

Noctis has also used his title to make reservations in restaurants that clear THE WHOLE RESTAURANT just for Gladnis lmao

Noct has always hated that when he makes a reservation, they clear THE WHOLE RESTAURANT like NO, why would he want to dine in an empty place!? Not like he goes out often, but he’s learned that his title has that accidental effect, so guess who’s using it for Gladnis anniversary dinners.

When they want to get fancy, or when Noct wants them to go fancy, at least. Normally they just go for noodles the DORKS

Noctis covered half their wedding without even being asked because HE LOVES THEM AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP SO MUCH AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

((the other half was Regis and he was so upset he wasn’t allowed to cover it all, this dummy papa))

Noctis best supportive baby bro, please hug him.

Prompto

You knew about fanboy #1, but where is fanboy #2?

In the bushes, stalking them, snapping surprise photos to show them later.

“Prompto, that’s creepy.”

“BUT IF I TELL YOU I’LL TAKE PHOTOS, IT WON’T BE NATURAL ANYMORE, AND YOU TWO SHINE BRIGHTER WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW YOU’RE HAVING A PHOTO TAKEN. I’M HARMLESS, WHY IS IT CREEPY.”

Prompto that’s not the point, just…don’t.

How Prommy knew about Gladnis, hm?

It wasn’t that exciting, pretty modern way to know.

Noctis told him via text lmao

“DUDE I HAVE GROSS NEWS, YOU WON’T BELIEVE IT.”

Nocto! >:|

Prommy’s reaction was sort of cute, though. He’s a bit sharper than Noct to notice these things, but he still didn’t expect it. He thought about the two as a couple because he liked the sassy interaction, but he wasn’t sharp enough to see it wasn’t sass, it was ACTUAL FLIRTING. He was so used to the two being good friends it just. Didn’t occur to him that it was a real thing and not just him seeing things.

Noctis tells him via text.

Prommy is gasping OUT LOUD.

He gasped so loudly and sharp he chocked onto his own saliva and fell off the bed.

He ended up repeatedly swinging the feet in the air and against the mattress and squeaking. Squeaking.

“I KNEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW IT”

says the boy that didn’t know it

Prompto’s trying to talk about it all day with Noctis.

Noctis talks about it for three minutes then goes “Uuuuuuuuuuuuuggggghhhhhhhhh can we please nOT”

Noct is just Like That with everything that isn’t videogames or fishing, have mercy on him.

“Dude, and who told who? Dude, have they kissed already? Does lord Clarus know, omg. Dude, DUDE, DOES LORD CLARUS KNOW OHMYGOD”

“PROMPTO I DON’T KNOW”

Prompto’s THIRSTY for gossip and news on his new favorite ship.

Prompto’s stalking them on social medias waiting for the first of them to drop the first hint of romantic something. Why? Just to squeak about it. There’s literally no other use for it.

Prompto’s now Asking and not stopping.

Training with Gladio? “WHO TOLD WHO. HOW DID IT HAPPEN. SINCE WHEN DID YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM. WHERE WAS YOUR FIRST DATE, CAN I KNOW THAT? HAVE YOU TWO ALREADY KISSED. WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE. GLADIO, TELL ME MORE ABOUT IT AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH”

Hanging with Ignis? “WHO TOLD WHO. HOW DID IT HAPPEN. SINCE WHEN DID YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM. WHERE WAS YOUR FIRST DATE, CAN I KNOW THAT? HAVE YOU TWO ALREADY KISSED. WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE. IGNIS, TELL ME MORE ABOUT IT AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH”

Arcade with Noct? “NOCT, WHO-”

“PROMPTO I DON’T KNOW”

Prompto’s always asking about their relationship to either of them when he gets the chance. He could talk about it ALL DAY and go on and on.

“Why are you so interested in our relationship, Prompto?”

“I DON’T KNOW, IT’S JUST SO WEIRD, I’M SO CURIOUS. It’s like…its. It’s you *takes a fry* and it’s him *takes another fry* and it’s…*puts fries together* and it’s you.”

…prompto, don’t.

Prompto is the Anti-Noctis.

Gladnis snuggle. Noctis goes Eeeww

*Prommy puts a hand to his chest and aaw’s*

Gladnis smooch. Noctis goes EEEEEEEEWWWWWW

*Prommy clutches chest chest and whimpers*

Ignis proceeds to poke Gladio’s nose who then proceeds to pepper his face in smoochies. Noctis is gagging.

Prommy’s hiding his face in his hands and SQUEAKING into a pillow.

“NOCTO HOW ARE THEY SO CUTE I DON’T UNDERSTAND.”

Prompto’s always doing shitty photoshop pictures of Gladnis that are ridiculous on purpose just to make them laugh.

Prom is there to yell NO when Noctis makes a mean comment.

“UGH YOU TWO ARE SO DISG-”

“NOOOOOOOOO! YOU TWO ARE SO CUTE, KEEP DOING YOUR STUFF”

“Stinky dorks-”

“NO!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVEBIRDS!!!!!!! CUTE!!!!!!!”

“EW go get a roo-!”

“WE’RE LEAVING, YOU MAKE YOURSELVES COMFORTABLE, OK, IGNORE THIS ASSHAT”

Prompto. He. He made Gladnis puppets.

Ignis is too busy, like absolutely fucking loaded of royal stuff and so he’s away and unable to reach? Aaw, don’t be sad big guy. *puppet Ignis proceeds to smooch him*

*Puppet Ignis proceeds to give Gladio a million cheesy compliments and pick up lines in an unnecessarily high pitched voice*

*Puppet Ignis is nuzzling at him and insisting on kissing*

“PROMPTO STOP”

It’s not Prompto, it’s Pocket Ignis, you rude ungrateful ass.

Gladio’s not annoyed, he’s actually pretty amused XD

Gets tired of Prompto not leaving him alone, though? Gladio’s going to be “Ok you conviced me, come here Iggy” and tries to make out with the puppet, hence making a hysterical Prompto screech and try to run away.

Same goes for Ignis. Gladio’s away on some Crownsguard or Shield training at the outskirts? Away and gone and missing?

PUPPET GLADIO IS IN THE HOUSE, BABY, DON’T WORRY, HE’LL SMOOCHIE YOU IN THE MEANWHILE.

There we have an Ignis quickly striding across the flat escaping while Prompto tries to catch up with him with his cheesy pick-up lines and pet names with the Puppet Gladio.

When Gladio asked Prompto if he wanted to be his bestman for the wedding, Prompto nearly freaking had an aneurysm the poor eager hyped thing.

Best supportive buddy ok, pls hug.

Nyx

He knew via Gladio.

Because guess who’s Gladio’s WINGMAN AYEEEEEEE

Cor, actually

BUT NOT THIS TIME. This time Nyx bby. Cor was Advice Man. Nyx was Accomplice Mate.

Gladio would tell Nyx his progress with his crush. Nyx would always listen because it was so stupidly adorable.

It started because both would take longer in the training halls than the rest so they’d often meet at the shower/dressing room, and conversation started little by little. Conversation on Ignis first came up when a sixteen year old Gladio was being a bit clumsy, dropping his stuff and putting his shirt backwards and stuff, so of course an amused Nyx had to ask.

“I’m…we’re…some friends and I are going out tonight but…there’s…there’s this guy I like and I’m a bit nervous and…”

Nyx Romantic Aid Buddy senses tingled.

25 year old Nyx thinks IT’S SO CUTE OMG THE TEENAGE SHIELD HAS A CRUSH THAT’S SO AMUSING LMAO so he tried to help

Helped Gladio gather his stuff, dress nice, and calm down by talking smooth and cool with him, and inspired him to go ask that boy out or, if not, at least impress him.

From that day on, Nyx would ask just casually how things were going with the crush, and Gladio would inform.

And it went on for YEARS lmao both as a crush and when they were already boyfriends and so on

Gladio first kept informing him of what he THOUGHT Ignis thought of him but no advances

“You know, Gladio, it’s been quite a while since you first told me of your crush and you still haven’t asked him out?”

“IT’S NOT THAT EASY TO ASK A GOD OUT IN A DATE, I’M SORRY I’M SUCH A MORTAL.”

Nyx kept encouraging him day after day after day, and it was perhaps partly the reason Gladio dared say anything. either because he was inspired or just annoyed lol

When they started talking about it, at first Nyx had no idea who the crush was and Gladio forgot to tell him alkajsd

One day when Nyx first started insisting Gladio ask him out, Gladio insisted he couldn’t do it and after a long while he just went “it’s just…it’s…it’s…Iggy? you know…the prince’s adviser?”

Nyx went .u. ohno that’s adorable best friend crush

Guess who now is not being very subtle on it (thankfully Iggy won’t notice lmao)

Every time Nyx sees Ignis now, HE FLINCHES AND GOES ALL EXCITED LIKE GASP “HELLO IGNIS :D”

Ignis is ??? h…hello mr glaive that never before spoke to me until now out of nowhere and so excitedly and daily??

Nyx can’t HELP IT HE’S SO EXCITED IT’S GLADIO’S CRUSH OMG THEY’VE SPOKEN ABOUT HIM SO MUCH HE CAN’T HELP BUT GET ALL EXCITED

Also, whenever he gets the chance, he freaking. MISLEADS IGNIS ON PURPOSE TO MAKE HIM GO WITH GLADIO.

“Mr. Ulric, would you happen to know where lord Drautos is?”

“n- YES. YES OMG YES YOU ASKED THE RIGHT GUY, HE’S AT THE EAST WING, THIRD FLOOR, MAIN HALL.”

Guess which Amicitia is holding guard in that room.

Nyx is accidentally bumping into either of them when they’re together trying to make them fall into each other into a romantic awkward hug that will turn into an adorable ask out for a date.

Nyx this isn’t a romantic tv show it doesn’t work like that you just made Gladio drop his candy

Nyx is giving Gladio A THOUSAND NOT SUBTLE SIGNS when he sees him with Ignis

Gladio is trying to have a casual, normal conversation with Ignis.

From above Ignis’ head he can see, at the other end of the hallway, a HYSTERICAL NYX JUMPING, BOUNCING IN HIS SPOT, FLAILING THE ARMS, MAKING FACES, MOUTHING SOMETHING, AND MAKING SIGNS OF “HUG HIM”, “KISS HIM”, “TELL HIM”, “YOU CAN DO IT”

Gladio is unable to focus in what Ignis is telling him because Nyx is flexing like a gorilla while making strange faces.

Nyx throws Gladio into meeting with Ignis without preparing him.

Nyx and Gladio are standing at a hallway just talking and chatting casually and GASP IGNISISCOMINGGOGOGOGOGOGOOG *SHOVES HIM INTO THE OTHER HALLWAY MAKING HIM NEARLY FALL AGAINST IGNIS*

Nyx thinks Gladio is ignoring him when he’s making signs to him so he’s now literally MAKING SIGNS TO HIM, like. A cardboard piece with a message on it NYX WAS TRYING TO GIVE GLADIO DIALOGUES LMAO HOW IS HE SUCH A DORK

Nyx is switching the conversation to Ignis if Ignis is passing by.

Gladio and Nyx are talking about some food stall they both seem to know and AH YES IT’S SO NICE YOU THINK THAT OF IGNIS, GLADIO

Gladio’s constantly made a blushing, nervous mess in these situations when Ignis turn to look and Nyx just KEEPS GOING.

When Gladio told Nyx he had finally asked Ignis out and he said yes, Nyx stood on the bench and literally roared out “Yes” to the roof with the arms open and down like a dinosaur screeching.

Every time Gladio is talking with Ignis now, or hugging him or anything, when he looks up from behind Ignis, there’s Nyx alone or with his other two friends making thumbs up and nodding and JESUS LORD CAN YOU NOT STARE GUYS, STOP.

Best Romance Aid Buddy, please hug.

Libertus

Libertus knew via Nyx.

Libertus wasn’t the slightly shaken. He had this blank face on as he kept drinking from his smoothie. Calmly put it down.

“Weren’t those two brothers?”

Libertus is still a bit lost in the royal families’ relationships.

Nyx is sharing slight harmless gossip on the situation with Libertus. Libertus doesn’t really care much but he’s happy to hear Nyx. Not like he has lots of options anyway lmao

“He ALMOST asked him out this time but he shied away again, dammit.”

“Bummer.”

“I know.”

“LIB, HE SAYS IGNIS DROPPED A HINT TODAY, THAT’S A SIGN.”

“nice”

“I KNOW.”

Libertus is busier in his own stuff and world to care about people he rarely interacts with, but Nyx’s excitement slowly catches his attention with time.

Even Libertus can’t be saved from some cute romantic story.

Eventually, it’s Libertus who approaches Nyx for the gossip.

“Yo. How is Shield boy doing?”

“THEYWENTOUTALONEINANONOFFICIALDATE BUTTHATCOUNTSASADATERIGHT OMG MY BOY IS PROGRESSING”

“Nice.”

The curiosity, of course, leads him to start spying a bit as well.

There we have Ignis standing in a hallway reviewing some papers when he feels a stare, so he turns and there, in the distance, is some Glaive that’s never spoken to him, smiling at him, and waving.

what the hell

Now every time Nyx gets all hyped because he’s seeing Gladnis interact, Libertus gets dragged along so he just stands there and stares too.

Nyx is the “IMPRESS HIM, HUG HIM, YOU’VE GOT HIM NOW KISS HIM” guy. Libertus is the kind to make *index fingers goes into the O formed by other hand’s thumb and index* signs at Gladio.

Libertus is going with Amicitia junior to get a laugh from how she talks about Gladnis.

“And the other day Ignis went to our house and he helped papa prepare dinner, and it was very delicious and I had a wonderful time, Ignis is great and I always tell papa to adopt him and sell Gladdy at the market.”

Libertus finds little Iris’ sister talk funny.

Libertus is shoving condoms into early-relationship-stages-Gladio’s pockets so they fall off while he’s talking with Ignis just to make them both embarrassed.

“Gladio?”

“I DIDN’T. PUT IT THERE, NO, IT’S NOT- NO, I REALLY MEANT JUST DINNER, THIS WASN’T- NO.”

When they do start having sexual interaction, though, Gladio just gets free condoms now and joke is on Libertus.

Libertus just wants to have fun.

Crowe

Crowe’s confused, but hell does she support that.

“I THOUGHT LITTLE GLASSES KID WAS ACE?”

Why was Nyx the only one that wasn’t surprised, where are you two dorks getting all your info from omg

Crowe noticed before Nyx told her.

Crowe’s sharp on this one. She did think Iggy was ace, but she wasn’t 100% sure because she could see the signs.

Crowe’s like (ಠ‿ಠ) every time she sees them interact after the first time he caught a first glimpse of a sign.

Sort of like how Libertus started waving hello at Ignis from afar, except she’s much sneakier and hasn’t been caught and does the creepy (ಠ‿ಠ)

Crowe’s trying to set them up every time. Indirectly.

She’s asking Luche to smack Pelna without him knowing Drautos will be watching so Drautos is chiding Luche and Pelna for their kidly fight, getting Drautos busy and distracted a bit, Cor will be curious and will approach and ask what’s going on, Gladio will look for Cor because he’s late for his training, so he’s going to ask someone if they know where Cor is, and Crowe is SO MAKING ANOTHER OF THESE LARGE PLANS TO HAVE IGNIS BE THAT ONE PERSON AT QUESTION REACH.

Crowe this is unnecessarily intrincate stop

Crowe’s giving flirting advice to Gladio, too

Glaive Trio = Gladio’s Wingmen Squad

Nyx is the supportive cheering guy. Libertus is the sexual jokes dork. Crowe is the STYLE ADVISER.

“Sweetie, you don’t want to tell him that. Unbutton the collar, your hair a bit more like…this, chin up, and you give him a look like you don’t care about anything. You grab his shoulder. And now a smolder as we practiced. Voice deep. Tone smooth, but sound a little raspy. And you say. Hey.”

Crowe’s giving Gladio a Judging Look every time he says he wasn’t able to ask Ignis out. It’s enough to make Gladio feel embarrassed and little (in a good way that makes him go YEAH IT’S NOT THE BIG THING I CAN DO IT.)

“You’re such a nerd with your condom jokes, Libertus.”

Crowe is making condom jokes, too, the double faced nerd.

Crowe is telling Gladio she could lend him her bike to impress Ignis.

“Just a problem, Crowe.”

“Hm?”

“…I don’t know how to ride this. And he does, so I don’t think he’s gonna be impressed.”

Dork.

Crowe is trying to make Gladio grab that Sexy Attitude, BUT HE’S JUST. TOO MUCH OF A NERD, HOW DOES HE HAVE ANY REPAIR.

Crowe SLAPS HIM WHEN HE SAYS HE’S NOT WORTHY OF IGGY.

“OF COURSE YOU’LL NEVER BE WITH THAT MINDSET, WHAT THE HELL DID I TELL YOU YOU ARE? EXACTLY. WORTHY. NOW GO GET YOUR DATE WITH THAT BOY.”

((it’s nice slap, no worry))

Crowe is the dangerous (harmless) threatening friend that will insist as in REALLY insist for asking the crush out.

Nyx tells her and Libertus for the tenth time that Gladio chickened out last minute again.

Crowe is going over to Gladio.

“It’s not that hard, boy. I swear to the Six, if you don’t do it, I’ll do it for you.”

“I…I can’t…”

“…”

“Ok, I’m going.”

Crowe actually. WENT WITH IGNIS.

Gladio’s standing in the hallway internally screeching so hard his face is red and he’s about to have a heart attack while flailing all over the place, and Crowe’s getting to Iggy.

Gladio thinks she’s just kidding and will just walk past him.

Crowe’s tapping Ignis on the shoulder and now they’re talking.

Gladio’s on the floor spazzing.

He can’t live anymore bye.

Crowe’s just making casual talk with Ignis lmao just did it to make Gladio have that breakdown because AH YOU DIDN’T LIKE HOW IT FELT, DID YOU? DID YOU???? WELL NEXT TIME I’LL DO IT FOR REAL SO YOU ASK HIM OUT NOW, BOY.

Crowe’s stealing Iris when Gladnis want lonely time but don’t want Iris to like. Suspect anything kajsdka.

Crowe’s clearing the area for Gladnis when they’re all smoochie snuggly and some idiot like Luche is about to walk by.

Hey Luche. *throws a towel to his face*

Crowe is warping to Gladnis when they’re about to smooch just to startle them lmao

Crowe’s having more fun than Libertus

Sometimes, after or while making out with Ignis, Gladio looks up and Crowe’s on the other end of the hallway like (ಠ‿ಠ) *eyebrow wiggle*

Crowe no

Crowe’s always. ALWAYS. The one finding them the secret spots in the Citadel when they want a quicky.

Gets them the tools, too *eyebrow wiggle*

Good girl Crowe approves.

Cor

*HYPERVENTILATES*

DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED HERE, YOU KNOW I FUCKING LOVE COR WITH A PASSION

He knew about it through Regis because…fanboy #1 had to tell all his friends of course.

Cor is mid sandwich when Regis KICKS HIS DOOR OPEN

“CORHAPPYNEWSIGNISANADGLADIOAREOFFICIALLYDATINGNOW”

Cor still has his mouth half-opened for the bite he was about to take. Regis is welcoming himself in his office and grabbing a chair and sitting all while rambling near screeching

“YOUSHOULDHAVESEENIGNIS’FACEOMG BOYWASBEAMINGWITHJOYITWASSOCUTE HEWASLIKEANDIWASLIKEITOTALLYHAVETOASKHIMSOIDIDANDGUESSWHATHAPPENEDITWASSOCUTE”

Regis was so excited he left without having had one word from Cor.

Cor sat there in silence with the sandwich in his hands while his brain processed what just happened.

When he understood he just smiled, lifted the eyebrows, thought “who would have thought”, and continued eating his sandwich.

Have mercy on him, he’s dry and cold and a stone.

Cor was always Gladio’s Advice Man. Nyx encourages, Cor guides.

Cor is petting Gladio on the head every time he’s pining or moping about being unable to ask Iggy out.

Cor is Practice Dummy for Gladio’s attempts at how to confess.

It didn’t work lol

Gladio told Cor about his crush. IGNIS TOLD COR about HIS crush. COR KNEW ABOUT IT BEING A MUTUAL THING. BUT DID HE SAY SOMETHING. DID HE FUCKING. SAY SOMETHING.

NO. COR LEONIS DIDN’T SAY A FUCKING THING.

“Wait you knew all along? Why didn’t you tell any of us!? It would have made it much easier, we’d have known it was mutual and we’d have confessed earlier.”

“…it wasn’t my secret to tell.”

COR >:|

Cor is the most supportive uncle you’ll ever find. From afar. Very quietly.

Cor is there to support Clarus too when Clarus becomes a Lost Papa on the matter. Doesn’t understand much as Cor doesn’t have a similiar experience, but a buddy can always listen.

Cor is there to support Ignis when he becomes a little insecure as to if it’s alright to be dating someone from the second most important family of all Lucis and maybe Eos.

Cor is there to support Gladio when he becomes a little insecure as to whether or not he’s being a good partner as he thinks Ignis deserves because it never feels like he’s doing enough.

Always having his mug of coffee with him, of course.

Ignis’ parents are forcing him into extra training time?

Oh my what a shame I have no extra space for that….bUT YOU CAN ALWAYS COME INTO MY SIX PM TRAINING WITH ANOTHER MATE BUT I DON’T THINK YOU’LL HAVE TROUBLES WITH SHARING RIGHT?

Ignis himself is overdosing on work and refuses to listen even to Gladio.

Cor is KNOCKING HIM OUT. ACCIDENTALLY. DURING TRAINING. A C C I D E N T A L L Y.

Ignis is nervous about dinner with the Amicitia.

Cor secretly made sure to put Clarus in a really good mood before work shift was over.

“I’m sad. I have watch on the main hall at five, so it won’t be over in a good couple hours, and Iggy finally had some free time today…”

Cor is fucKING SNATCHING THAT WATCH. NO ONE IS PAYING HIM FOR THESE EXTRA HOURS BUT DOES HE FUCKING CARE.

Boys went out late at night and were home pretty late. Clarus was angry.

“They were at my place. Sorry I didn’t tell you.”

Cor :0

it fine they young let them live

who would have thought that under that stoic face there was such a nice devil, Cor

Cor is always number one person they go to when they want to share some Gladnis thing in conversation. It’s just so easy to talk with him, he has no expressions and doesn’t answer, it’s like talking to a lamppost.

He does give advice or comfort if needed, though.

Cor always comes up with holidays plans or discounts for the two.

“Do you look up holidays for two on your spare time just to tell us?”

“…they pop up randomly in my computer.”

Cor you don’t use your computer.

Cor is a bit too honest. Doesn’t mean any harm, he’s jsut being honest.

“You don’t want to kiss Gladio today. He’s stinky.”

COR

Cor dealing with Gladnis in the everyday

“Ok, we’re in for our sparring session today, we-”

“Cor can I go smooch Iggy? He’s over there at the window :3″

“…”

“No. Defeat me and you can”

“D:”

“Ok, today’s session-”

“*Ignis’ sad puppy eyes*”

“-is cancelled, I heard Gladiolus is at the fifth floor, go look for him and say hello for me.”

he’s not giving preferences lmao he just has to train Gladio but couldn’t resist Ignis’ unintentional sad puppy eyes. WHO IN THIS WORLD CAN.

Cor is answering for them to the media.

“Mister Gladiolus, is it true you and Ignis Scientia are dating?”

“No, we’re not.”

“No, I was asking-”

“I’m not.”

“…I was-”

“No.”

Cor sees the struggle they go through with the media and Noct jumping in to save them and thinks it’s very noble so let’s give the boy a break, and be the shield ourselves.

Cor is now bodyguard for the Gladnis in public.

“Mister Amicitia!”

“Yes?”

“No, I mean Mister Amici”

“Y e s ?”

Media tries to go to Ignis

“…m…mister…Scienti-”

Cor’s popping out of nowhere with his dead face like

“Y E S?”

Cor’s using the Gladnis to encourage them to train harder.

“If you want to save him you have to defeat me.”

“COR, NO, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT, THAT’S NOT HOW- NO”

“And I’m not having mercy on you, hm”

“BUT WHY WOULD YOU PUT GLADIOLUS IN A CAGE, HE’S NOT EVEN CONSCIOUS”

Ignis is tied to the ceiling somehow

“COR NO”

“Get through me and he’ll be safe”

“COR THIS IS NOT PEDAGOGIC.”

They won only once. Because Ignis broke out of the cage. and maybe they had Nyx help. And maybe Cor was blindfolded.

He’s the Legend, you can’t just win against Cor like it’s nothing.

Uncle Cor picked Gladio’s wedding suit.

Uncle Cor will be the most hysterical loving grand uncle but we’re not there yet akldsjf

Uncle Cor good boi he approves and likes yes yes

Iris

NOW HERE IS THE TEA.

S I S T E R I N L A W I R I S

Iris the Adorable and Equally Frightening. Iris the Badass. Iris the kiddo. AS HER ROLE IN GLADNIS.

Iris was like nine or ten when Gladnis became official.

You know fanboy #1 and fanboy #2. BUT THIS IS FANGIRL #1 BABY GIRL IRIS IS ABSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL FOR GLADNIS.

Iris likes Ignis and has always done. She once asked Santa Crys that Clarus adopted Ignis because he’s just such a good Big Bro.

Iris did genuinely asked Clarus once to adopt Ignis and sell Gladio at the market.

She loves Gladdy wholeheartedly, it’s just Sibling Stuff.

Ignis has always been good to Iris since even before he and Gladio were a thing, and it’s always been genuine, not just that “get the little sibling love to have easier access” thing.

Ignis and Iris even spend time alone without Gladio.

Ignis has gone to pick Iris up from school.

Ignis has given Iris his jackets if it’s cold or raining.

Ignis has cooked for Iris a million times.

Ignis has been her confidant for YEARS for things she feels too shy to share with anyone else, even Gladio.

Why do I feel I’ve already written Ignis-Iris headcanons and these exact same?

Ignis constantly lets Iris use him as model for make-up or nails or hair.

Iris constantly sews plushies for him. Ignis has a whole shelf full of little and big plushies he’s been gifted.

Iris will go to Ignis if she sees him and try to drag him home since she was like seven.

Ignis nearby? Yes, papa, we’re taking him home. What do you mean no? I will feed him and make a bed for him in the living room.

Iris, he’s not a pet aksjdf

Iris and Ignis have their own little bubble and Gladio’s not allowed in, I’m sorry

There they are the two dorks. They’re talking. They’re talking about SOMETHING. What is it? What is it? YOU WILL NEVER KNOW. WHY THEY ARE GIGGLING, YOU WILL NEVER KNOW.

Iris spoke so much and for so long about Clarus adopting Ignis that Gladio was a bit scared of how she would manage the news of them in a relationship because that would cut the option of adopting him.

Iris took it surprisingly well.

A bit too well.

Iris screeched.

Iris jumped out her window.

Her room is on the second floor.

It’s fine, she’s trained since little because the little shit could never sit still and Cor had to do something to at LEAST teach her to land since age 5 because the gods know this child needs to know how to land.

Iris ran around the house for an hour before she got tired and collapsed in the grass, and even there she kept flailing and screeching.

Clarus arrived home to Gladio calmly watching TV eating ice-cream while a nine year old Iris was sprawled on a side of the house like her sould abandoned her.

Iris is a Prompto equivalent of The Asker.

“HOW WAS IT. WHO TOLD WHO. WHERE DID YOU GO. HOW MANY DATES HAVE YOU HAD. HAVE YOU ALREADY KISS. WHY HADN’T YOU TOLD ME BEFORE. WILL YOU MARRY HIM. GLADDY TELL ME MORE.”

Someone is knocking on Gladio’s door at two a.m.

“Gladio have you told him you love him.”

Gladio closed the door in her face.

Iris never stopped trying to drag Ignis home even when she was already 15.

There she is, calmly going, grabbing Ignis’ wrist, and saying nothing while heading to Clarus’ car.

Family dinner at the Amicitia, nothing is going on, nothing relevant has happened for months, everyone is quiet and

*LOUD FIST SMASH ON THE TABLE*

“YOU HAVE TO MARRY HIM OR I’LL BE SO FREAKING ANGRY, GODS DAMMIT”

The happiest motherfucking day in Iris’ life was when Ignis called at her door, sat down on her floor, and said “Would you be so kind as to teach me to make a moogle plush toy myself? I’d love to make one for Gladio.”

Iris taught both Gladio and Ignis to sew moogle plushes AND SHE WAS SO HYSTERICALLY FREAKING C LO S E TO TELL EACHE OTHER “HE’S MAKING ONE FOR YOU TOO OMG THE COINCIDENCE, WHAT WERE THE ODDS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

Iris is fan #1 of Prompto’s Gladnis photos and is always asking him to show her.

Iris gets some of those photos framed. She’s not even gifting them to them, she’s just putting them at the livign room because LOOK AT THIS HAPPY FAMILY, THAT’S MY BROTHER IN LAW AND MY BROTHER AREN’T THEY THE MOST BADASS ADORABLE COUPLE IN THE WORLD AREN’THEYGODDAMMIT!!?!??!

Gladio is annoying Iris on purpose.

“Gladdy, I’m gonna have Iggy kick your ass.”

Ignis is very much ready to kick Gladio’s ass if Iris asks him for it.

Iris likes to cause little harmless misunderstandings between the two just for the sake of it.

“?? Ignis? I thought I’d bring the tools.”

“?? No, I was told I’d bring the tools? What are we cooking if no one brought the food?”

Iris is containing the laugh from the living room.

“Hey, I thought I’d forgotten my scarf here?”

“No, you took it home with-”

“…”

“Iris.”

“IT WASN’T ME, WHY DO YOU THINK EVERY TIME IGNIS COMES HOME LOOKING FOR SOMETHING AND DOESN’T FIND IT IT’S ME WHO TOLD HIM THAT JUST TO HAVE HIM COME OVER? PFFT.”

Iris sometimes gets gifts to give to Gladio so HE can give them to Ignis

“Iris, I already give him a bunch”

“IT’S NOT ENOUGH GLADDY”

Iris alongside with Prom is always trying to get them nice, romantic dates. Cheesy sometimes. Overly cheesy sometimes.

There you see the whole scenery Prommy and Iris put up together in a garden, a tiny table and cushions for a comfy date, in a little silk-drapes tent decored with lights, candles, and a couple flowers.

“Iris we just wanted to watch dumb cartoons”

“SHUT UP THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ROMANTIC”

Not like Iggy and Gladio are complaining but omg the EFFORT

You know what sorta sister in law Iris is?

Gladio and Ignis are having a private conversation at the garden.

“Would you like to stay for dinner?”

Iris from somewhere in the universe

“WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER”

Honestly how badass is Iris here, you pick on her, she brings forth her TWO BIG GUARDIAN BROTHERS

Iris be. Cutest most troublesome most supportive sister in law since she’s a kid, ok? SHE’S MORE INTO GLADNIS THAN GLADNIS THEMSELVES.

AND THERE YA GO AKLSDJFGKLHJAD

Aaaaaah man, this took quite longer than I expected, but was it worth it! I had lots of fun with it, and I hope you enjoyed it too? I REALLY HOPE SO BECAUSE THIS IS FOR YOU ALSKJDFDLGKJ

Also, I hope the midterm thing went okie!! Sending you lots of happy raccoonie thoughts for school to be gentle and go FANTASTIC! ( ´ ▽ ` )

Thanks for the ask and LOTSA MAGIC YAYS FOR YOU! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

#gladnis #gladio #ignis #ffxv headcanons #coonanswers #yay gladnis!#gonna post papa regis in a bit :3 #i had it before this one but i wanted these two posted the same day lmao

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sleepy--mp3 · 5 years

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okja (2017)

it may be two years too late but i recently (a few minutes ago) watched the film Okja. for those who are unsure of the plot, okja follows the path of a young girl who raised okja, a pig bred for a competition. when the pig is taken away for the competition, Mija, the girl, goes after her. she meets a rebel group of animal lovers and they attempt to take the pig back.

im about to spoil the film so if you haven’t seen it and wanna, bye!

okay. spoilers below. it’s been two years though so unless you’re me, you should be aware of the plot. they’re not major spoilers though.

firstly, my initial thoughts. i loved it. the cinematography was fantastic, striking visuals and contrast of light and dark when approaching different parts of the film were perfect and beautiful, the emotions they evoked from me when watching it was unforgettable. when the shot of all the manufactured pigs panned out to show thousands of them, i had chills everywhere.

the fact that it was a korean-american film in terms of actors, language and setting--and done so WELL, director Bong Joon-ho impressed me to no ends, is important in so many ways. the representation it brings, as well as the importance of steven yeun (the walking dead, voltron: legendary defender, mayhem) in the role of the korean-american character ‘k’. i am not a korean speaker, so i did limited research on his portrayal of k in the film, and according to an interview, he played k as a character that was dancing in between the roles of korean and american, and spoke slightly broken korean on purpose. read this article for a well articulated version of what im trying to say: https://slate.com/culture/2017/06/there-s-a-translation-joke-for-korean-americans-in-the-subtitles-of-okja.html

the acting was fantastic. Seo-Hyeon Ahn, mija, was phenomenal. i was truly and completely invested because of her. incredible. the entire cast floored me. everyone was so perfect in their roles i couldn’t believe what a dream cast it was. tilda swinton and jake gyllenhaal astounded me, they were absolutely unforgettable as the ‘antagonists’, and i even felt disgustingly sympathetic for them, especially jake when dr. johnny has the breakdown in the factory.

carrying on, the characters were amazingly written. the movie okja was portrayed so that there was no black and white, right and wrong--every character was in the grey area, it portrayed everyone in a harsh light. the ‘good’ characters did bad things and it was a refreshing take on protag vs antag. the main characters were so likeable and i loved their chemistry and interactions. paul dano (jay) and steven yeun (k) thrived in their scenes together (k is a primary example of the “good character does bad thing” style i just mentioned when he mistranslates. jay is also a bit iffy in terms of his morals in some scenes. in fact, the whole alf is). i lowkey shipped them together throughout the film, especially in the post credit scene. other main characters included red, played by lily collins, blond, played by daniel henshall, and silver, played by devon bostick (aka jasper from the 100).

blond and silver, i would like to point out, are portrayed as boyfriends in the film. lgbt characters. they did not kiss on screen, nor did they in any way verbally state that they were in a homosexual relationship. they were dating though. through body language (holding each other, burying faces in necks/shoulders, sacrificing themselves for the other, etc) it was explicitly shown. the fact that lgbt characters were shown in Okja without anybody mentioning or playing a large amount of attention to was amazing. it showed that lgbt characters don’t have to be a ‘big deal’ or that they are in a film just to be an lgbt character. they were animal lovers part of the alf who played crucial roles in the film, who just happened to be dating. it was fine. wonderful.

finally, okja the film was NOT an anti-meat statement. i can see how it could be interpreted as such but it was NOT AN ANTI-MEAT FILM. mija is shown explicitly eating meat, she collects fish in the stream for dinner and her grandfather makes her chicken stew. this film was promoting ETHICAL PRODUCTION. the conditions of which the bred bigs were put through were an attempt to show the horrors of manufactured creatures such as okja. though they are not real creatures and this is a fictional setting, it is a representation of real meat manufacturing and production. okja is chosen as the Biggest, Best, most Beautiful pig, and she has been raised by just roaming the country, fed and raised naturally. this is a representation of natural, ethical means of meat production. it showed corporate greed, activism and ETHICAL PRODUCTION.

tldr; OKJA IS AN INCREDIBLE FILM WITH PHENOMENAL ACTING AND AN AMAZING MESSAGE THAT STAYS WITH YOU LONG AFTER WATCHING. PLEASE GO WATCH IT. IT IS WORTH THE TIME I PROMISE YOU.

also: i have absolutely no experience nor professional critiquing in terms of film studies or the history of meat production. or ethnicity representation or anything that i have spoken about. take my opinions with a grain of salt. i am literally fifteen years old.

if you made it this far, thanks for reading! i hope this film changes/changed you as much as it did me.

#okja #bong joon-ho #film #netflix

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britesparc · 3 years

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Weekend Top Ten #476

Top Ten Theories About Falcon, the Winter Soldier, and the Future of the MCU

The penultimate episode of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier was amazing. Can we agree on that? I know in general the show isn’t the masterpiece WandaVision was; it doesn’t have the intricate puzzle-box structure, or that show’s desire to mess with form. It’s a show treading the same path as the Captain America movies (fittingly enough); relatively straight street-level bust-ups with a political globe-trotting bent. Bourne in tights, if you will. But even within that margin, it’s still not been tremendous; the pacing’s been a bit off, both in individual episodes and across the series as a whole. But there have been moments of greatness; the fight scenes and choreography has been mostly excellent, for a start. And the performances are great; it’s so nice to see Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan being given the space to cut loose and show what they’ve got as they move out of Chris Evans’ shadow. Wyatt Russell is superb as the tormented John Walker; and Daniel Brühl’s Zemo is already the stuff of meme legends. So, all in all, it’s pretty good, if not top tier; but the latest episode, man oh man.

One of the themes of the show has always been institutional racism (it’s right there from the start, with Sam and Rhodey’s first conversation). Bringing this issue right to the forefront, with Sam’s not-so-cosy chat with former supersoldier Isiah Bradley, the most recent episode offered a side of the MCU we’ve never really seen before. It’s so great a huge mass-market Disney property like this can allow its creators the chance to speak openly about race, to present marketable, profitable characters like Captain America as symptoms of a racist society. Bradley’s line about “they’ll never let a Black man be Captain America, and no self-respecting Black man would want to be,” is right up there with “bury me at sea, like my ancestors who leapt from the ships, because they knew death was better than bondage” in terms of things I never thought I’d hear from a Disney property. Sam’s struggle, and his acceptance of his role, was just terrific. I know it’s West Wing-style wishy-washiness, but the idea that the idea of Captain America – of America – is worth striving for and fighting for, is a glorious one; it’s what makes Hamilton so good, even though we know the reality is stained with blood like John Walker’s shield. All this plus Sam helping Bucky deal with his trauma! What a good episode.

Anyway, a bit like I did with WandaVision, here are ten thoughts about where the series could be heading as we approach the finale – and where the MCU itself might be going from here…

A Good Man: Dr. Erskine said it when Steve first took the formula; “Not a perfect soldier, but a good man.” Steve, it’s implied, is the best Super Soldier because he’s the best man. When he handed Sam the shield in Endgame, he said, “You’re a good man, Sam.” And Sam is a good man; witness how he tried to reason with Karli, how he helped his sister, how he reached out to Bucky to counsel him. The fact that he’s taking up the shield at all, despite everything Bradley said, is because someone needs to be Captain America, and that having a Black man in the role might just make things better for the next generation, even if it makes things worse for Sam. He’s just a good man, and this is going to become evident when all hell breaks loose and everyone descends on New York for the finale; you just know that he’ll be the one to make the sacrifice play, to reach out a hand to Karli or even John. And the whole world will be watching…

Heroes Without Borders: Captain America was created by the US government to fight a war; after Steve retired, they created their own new Cap in John Walker. It’s a role that’s therefore tied to the USA. But the history of the USA, even just in relation to the Super Soldier program, is downright murky. So I think Wilson’s Cap will make it very clear that he’s his own man. He’s wielding a shield that is (presumably) created in an alternate timeline, and wearing a suit built in Wakanda. He has no ties to the government, and it’ll stay that way – especially if he starts to recruit a new batch of Avengers…

The Death of the Winter Soldier…: Bucky’s arc is complete. He was captured and brainwashed, turned into a freeze-dried assassin for seventy years. After being rescued by Steve, he was healed by Shuri, but he still has decades of trauma and guilt. Teaming up with Sam, and being forced to work alongside Zemo, has mellowed him, allowed him to start forgiving himself. It looks as though, with his smiles and jokes on the boat, that he’s finally found some degree of peace. So it stands to reason that he’s going to die in the last episode. Probably defending Karli from John Walker or Batroc the Leaper or something like that.

…The Life of the White Wolf: alternatively, maybe he doesn’t die! Maybe, like he said, he’s going to bugger off to Wakanda. In that case, I think we’ll next see him as the White Wolf in Ryan Coogler’s Wakanda-set Disney+ series. Perhaps he’ll end up being an official Wakandan agent, helping to keep his adopted homeland safe.

Thunderbolts Are Go: in the comics, Zemo is associated with the team of villains-but-sometimes-not the Thunderbolts. I think that’s coming here, too; but I think it’ll be formed by Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine; after all, she was in Washington picking up Captain Americas (Captains America?). Stands to reason that she has an eye on building her own team of Avengers. Maybe Batroc could join too? And – hey! – didn’t Black Widow have a sister…?

The New Avengers: I said earlier, but I think one of Sam’s first jobs will be to reboot the Avengers. After the double-whammy of Civil War and Endgame, they’re toast; almost all their members are either dead or off the table. Let’s rule out Bucky for now; Sam’s first stop will probably be War Machine. Who’s next? Strange? Spidey? Sharon? I wonder if a simmering, recurring plot point in the next couple of movies/shows will be Sam’s attempts to rebuild the team. “Hey, Bruce; what’s your cousin Jennifer’s number?”

Brokered Power: the identity of the Power Broker is one of those no-one’s-talking-about-it-but-it’s-obviously-a-big-deal mysteries in the show. Nobody seems to care or be interested, but just who is this seemingly all-powerful string-puller in Madripoor? One thought could be that it’s Sharon Carter herself; her total about-face on the issue of heroism could be a façade to mask the decisions she’d made as the de facto crime empress. But that feels a bit too neat to me. Our new friend Valentina, perhaps? Sharon looked like she was siccing Batroc onto Karli at the Broker’s behest; is this just because the Broker wants his Serum (or revenge for Karli taking it), or does the Broker secretly have a more benign plan, and is actually trying to stop further bloodshed? My money’s on it either being someone totally new or relatively unknown, or a forgotten villain from an older MCU movie. Is it too much to hope that it turns out to be Trevor Slattery?

Agent Carter: regardless of what happens with the Power Broker, I think we really will see Sharon Carter return to the forefront of MCU heroics. She could actually fill the Black Widow slot in the Avengers, unless the plan is for Yelena to step into her sister’s big black boots (and assuming that Natasha really is dead, of course). But I think Sam’s heroics as the new Cap – plus him keeping his word – will be enough to convince her that there really was something to the heroism Aunt Peggy talked about for all those years. Maybe if the Avengers are too mainstream, she could lead a kind of “Agents of SWORD” black ops team? Maybe that’s where Bucky will end up too!

Teaming Up: and speaking of teams… does anyone else feel like we’re getting a veritable league of different super-teams in the MCU? We’ve got the Avengers and the Guardians already; once Ms. Marvel and Ironheart have taken their bow, I wouldn’t be surprised if Young Avengers reared their bumfluffed heads (maybe with a now-teenage reincarnated Tommy and Billy from WandaVision). Smart money is on Zemo and the Thunderbolts. There’s SWORD, filling the SHIELD void. They’re making a new movie about the Fantastic Four. Eternals comes out this year. At some point down the road we’ll see the X-Men. That’s a lot of different teams, and my crazy theory is this is all deliberate. At some point these teams are going to collide. Whether that’s just your typical Avengers-style team-up movie, or if this is where the whole franchise is pointing in ten years’ time, I don’t know; but it’ll be fun finding out!

Only One Captain America: so, where is Steve? Is he still around? Is he still alive? My theory is that he went home; it’s safe to assume that the Old Steve who sat on the bench in Endgame had travelled from an alternate timeline, one created by Steve returning to the 1940s to have a happy ever after with Peggy. A world where Cap was around after WWII would be very different; especially a Cap who knew about HYDRA’s plans to infiltrate the government, to say nothing of Thanos’ plan for half of everything. So it’s likely that he hasn’t just spent seventy years chilling on the veranda; I’m guessing he’s been at work. And I think he’s gone back home. Maybe his universe’s Sorcerer Supreme helped him with a bit of universe-skipping; who knows. But I just don’t think he’s around, and contrary to some suspicions, I don’t think we’ll see him in the FAWS finale. Whilst more Chris Evans is always nice, and whilst a few words of encouragement from Cap I to Cap II could be lovely, I don’t think they should detract from Sam’s moment by wheeling in his beloved predecessor. So, sorry, Steve; but I think from here on in there’s only one Captain America.

#top ten #films #tv #marvel #disney+#falcon #winter soldier #captain america #the falcon and the winter soldier

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