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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 4 years

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Hello yes, could you elaborate on the Comte wedding event pleease. Crying and fangirling and dying are all acceptable. I missed it and I adore your rambles about Comte? Thank you either way.

!!! I’d be delighted to!! And awww, I’m so glad :D I love to write about him in any capacity, it makes me so happy to know people enjoy it when I do! Tysm for the full license to cry/fangirl/die because lbr it ain’t a Comte event if all three of those things don’t happen .Please don’t worry, I don’t mind talking abt it anyway! 💕💕💕

Okay my fellow Comte stans, you know the drill! I’ll be placing the details of the Wedding Story Event (jpn version) below the cut! Please don’t read if you want to wait for the official translation, and I hope you enjoy if you do take a peak! c:

AIGHT Y’ALL in fair Verona where we lay our scene-- This event begins on a lovely summer day with Comte and MC at a boutique picking out a wedding dress for their upcoming ceremony. As usual, she provides a bit of background as to how we got here. Comte doesn’t have a proposal event (as far as I know) like the other suitors because he actually proposes marriage in his MS. I won’t go too far into details just in case, but they essentially swear their love to each other in a church at night--just the two of them. (I’m not 100% sure, but I think this event takes place on the anniversary of the vow that they shared, what Comte called becoming “a vampire’s bride.” Yes it’s as hot as it sounds AND I LOVED IT). Now, despite their private promise to each other, Comte does specify that he fully intends to have a public wedding whenever she feels comfortable doing that. As such, this event is picking up from there.

With all the nitty gritty settled, it’s time to get to the fun bits. So Comte is weaving in and out of the dresses, trying to find the perfect one for his beloved. MC is equal parts exasperated but amused, and she notes that it reminds her so much of when she first debuted in high society (reference to the beginning of Comte’s MS). Back then, when she agreed to debut, he told her that he would immediately send word to his tailor to make the necessary preparations. It’s a kind of nostalgic moment; she remembers how thorough and excited he was (”I’ll be sure to show off your every charm”), and he’s effusing that energy in the boutique too. Eventually he settles on two of them and requests that they both be prepared, and MC sputters. She’s like Comte???? W H Y we only need one dress???? And he insists that, since it’s a special occasion, there’s no harm in it is there? He also goes on to say that it is in line with her culture’s tradition of “dyeing the bride in the husband’s colors.” MC shoots back that the tradition doesn’t entail several wedding dresses for the bride, but he pays the correction no mind. Y’all. I loved this part because it just emphasizes how much of a LIL SHIT he can be. Like he’s 100% harmless but I was like BOI IF U DON’T--I WILL KISS UR CUTE FACE. YOU STOP THAT.

I find it interesting especially because it remains in line with a trend about Comte that is so arresting for me, something that I find so endearing about him. I’ll note other places in the event I find it, but in this moment he is revealing something critical: for all of his capacity to play with the language and expectations that other people have/use, he only ever uses it for good. Here he’s purely being playful (with a stark note of respect and awareness); he has no intention of overwhelming her or undermining her cultural expectations of what a wedding means. Especially because MC, even in her monologue, isn’t truly upset--she honestly seems to find it adorable and funny more than anything. It’s also clear that Comte is working within her comfort zones. While he would buy the entire damn boutique if she let him, he settles on two because he knows it would stress her out otherwise (MC tends to be p pragmatic, not really about extravagance she is a mood).

And so they make their selection and exit the boutique, and they’re walking arm in arm back to the carriage. Comte laments narrowing it down to only two, but he’s happy they found something nice. MC thanks him for bringing her along, but he says it’s only natural--he wanted to pick out the dress the world would see together, he would never be happy with it otherwise. MC melts (WHO WOULDN’T) and says she’s really looking forward to wearing them, and he’s shook AF.

(OKAY BUT I NEED TO SCREAM ABOUT THIS. DOES HE UNDERSTAND HOW TOUCHED I AM. DOES HE KNOW. His route hammers home this idea that for Comte, being with someone absolutely means being on the same page. It means being there for each other yes--but it also means making sure the other person feels wanted and included. He could have so easily just picked his favorite and been like “yeah this is what we’re going with.” But not only does he not do that, he refuses the very idea of a ceremony without it. He wants this to mean something for both of them, and he’s more than willing to put in the time and effort to ascertain that. I’M FUCKING TENDER OKAY. HE CARES SO MUCH AND I SOB)

He asks her if there’s anything else that she really, really wants for their wedding, and she thinks it through. It’ll be a reasonably sized wedding, with the men of the mansion in attendance and most of their closer high society friends. They’ve picked out a dress, the venue is set, the people closest to her will be there...she really can’t think of anything else? So she asks him if he has anything he really wants to do for the wedding, and he replies in the negative too, saying that “My only ideal wedding can be one in which I can see you at your most happy." ARE YOU KIDDING ME--Before MC can recover from that, he goes on: "Even now, I'm enjoying the preparations, and I want to do whatever I can for you." MC feels like she can never win against his sweet affection, so she nearly kills him with her answering line: "It’s more than enough. More than anything, being able to swear our love together again--to renew our vow--is the best part of it all." Comte is visibly shocked and is quiet for moment (MAN DOWN!!!!!!!!! VAMPIRE DOWN GET THE DEFIBRILATORS!!!!! LEONARDO PUT THAT LIGHTNING ROD AWAY I SWEAR TO GOD--) before he just replies with a “Is that so :>>>” And translating this nearly killed me [At the sight of his gentle smile, I smile back.] IM GOING TO SCREAM THEY ARE JUST SO TENDER IM SOFTE????????????

As they’re walking, Comte asks MC to tell him about weddings in her time. What were they like? He wants a reference point. She goes on to describe how ceremonies really range from formal to more informal affairs, and gets to a little custom that’s apparently held in Japan. When a groom intends to marry a bride, he will go to the bride’s family to ask for their approval. Comte visibly seems concerned about it, and I’m pretty sure he feels bad denying her that experience; not only did he propose to her without knowing any of that, her family isn’t within range to be able to honor it properly now. Even so, he keeps listening and comments now and again with a great deal of interest, paying close attention. He asks, what happens if the groom is rejected by the family? MC goes on to say that it’s a kind of test of perseverance: the groom is expected to ask/prove himself until he gets an answer in the affirmative. Internally, she notes that such a thing rarely ever happens irl--it’s mostly dramatized in movies and TV shows. She used to dream of how thrilling it might be to have someone do that for her, but it was mostly just a silly little fancy, nothing she was obsessed over. Comte, being a literal fucking legend, senses this emotional shift in milliseconds, and starts musing about something. When she tries to ask what’s up, he’s like not to worry leave everything to me.

PLEASE CUE THE CIRCUS MUSIC. BECAUSE THIS IS ABSOLUTELY GOING TO TURN INTO A CLOWN FEST.

So it cuts to them back home and Comte is asking Sebastian to give MC’s hand in marriage. Sebastian is utterly bEWILDERED and is like “I mean I understand I’m probably the closest relative she has right now but also WHAT!? YOU’RE MY BOSS/LORD I’M YOUR BUTLER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD”. Comte 100% is undaunted by this very normal reaction and insists that class/status has no place in matters like this, and Sebastian and MC are desperately trying to stop him from bowing his head/kneeling. MC notes she never expected him to take it to heart, tells him "Comte, you really don't have to go that far, it's a custom not a duty--" (IT’S SO FUCKING FUNNY????? YOU CAN FEEL THEIR MOUNTING CONCERN AND I CAN’T BELIEVE COMTE WAS STRAIGHT UP JUST “i am not above begging” AND THEY’RE LIKE YOU SHOULD BE YOU SHOULD BE ABOVE BEGGING)

The circus only escalates when Leo comes in LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF "damn...bahahahhahahaaaaa now THIS oughtta be good/interesting." MC (and I simultaneously) start yelling at him and he replies "What? Comte's already ready and willing, why stop him?" For whatever reason, this gives Comte an idea (NEVER A GOOD SIGN) and he’s like you know what? That’s actually perfect, get everybody in here I’m gonna ask them for permission too :D

Several things I want to say about this. 1. COMTE LITERALLY DOES NOT EVEN REACT TO LEO’S MOCKING HE JUST “omg ur face was useful for smth for once this gives me an idea” 2. META TIME. First and foremost, I seriously can’t deal. This man knows MC has nothing because of her traveling through time, no friends or family--he’s always so, so aware of what she’s sacrificing to be with him. It is never outside of his thinking. Not only does this decision solidify her presence as a member of their family (I’m just so UGLY SOBBING about the fact that he does not consider them all ANYTHING LESS--THEY ARE HIS CHIRREN AND HE LOVES THEM AND I’M SOFT) this is also such a brilliant, strategic move on his part. Not only is he doing this to fulfill her younger wishes of having someone be so confident in their love for her that they would insist on it in front of her family/loved ones--his doing this also solidifies her presence as his wife within the mansion from here on. There can be no mistake; this is an unquestionable statement as to how her identity has shifted in meaning, a powerful allusion to his possessive streak. (and WE LOVE THAT FOR US HELL YEAH)

Furthermore, I continue to be fascinated by the way he keeps subverting traditional or expected forms of supplication. While many could see this as a yielding of his pride (and in some ways he undeniably is) this choice to acknowledge her culture’s customs yields much more valuable dividends for him. 1. MC--notorious for never betraying the things she wants, having trouble asking for anything--is have her dreams fulfilled even if they were just silly little fantasies from when she was young. He’s actively making her happy, and he gets to openly gush about how much he loves her (FOR HIM THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF A WIN-WIN YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND--) 2. This is a way for him to make amends and do proper respect to the marriage customs of her place/time, and that’s infinitely important to him. He’s trying to set a precedent; that even if he ever does make a mistake or neglect something (even if accidental) he will do his utmost to make it right, pride and money be DAMNED.

While it can be argued that he’s just being silly and over-the-top, when you look closely this is 100% a clever, very mindful approach to their future. While it may partially have been executed on an emotional/excited whim, he is also claiming MC as his own in the most clear and respectful way possible. And tbh that’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen

So, after Leo walks in on them everyone else starts filing in one at a time (OKAY YOU CAN’T CONVINCE ME THAT THEY WEREN’T ALL HUDDLED UP TO THE DOOR SQUIRMING TO HEAR WHAT WAS GOING ON AND AT SOME POINT LEO SAID “omfg i gotta see this dumbass bitch on his knees” AND BLEW THEIR COVER/MADE THEM EVEN MORE CURIOUS):

Jeanne: "It's so noisy in here."

Mozart: "What's going on?"

Comte: "Ah, excellent timing. I want to get permission from everyone."

Vincent: "?????? Did you do something wrong Comte?? What could you possibly need forgiveness for?"

Isaac: "A mistake made/wrongdoing by Comte?...Why am I dreading what it could be..."

Dazai: “Ah yes, yes I see, you are asking for a young lady's hand in marriage” (IM WHEEZING BC EVERYONE ELSE IS SO LOST AND HE'S JUST 100% ON THE BALL KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT'S GOING ON THE NARRATIVE DISSONANCE IM CRYING)

Theo: Young lady??? The hell are you going on about

So things are getting increasingly chaotic and MC is just [jfc this is getting out of hand, Comte they don’t even know what you’re asking them to do]. She tries to explain but falters, and Comte puts an arm around her--signals that he’ll give them the context. So he tells them "You all know that our wedding day is approaching. As such, I'm asking you all for your approval in taking MC as my bride. No matter what happens, I promise to make her happy forever--for every moment, every second of our time together. Please, forgive my taking her" (WHEN I TELL YOU MY HEAD WAS IN MY HANDS IDK HOW MC DIDN’T DIE ON THE SPOT S I R. SIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) MC: [...Comte...My heart melts at his confession, at his earnest plea. It feels like every single iota of our feelings are infused in every word he speaks, teeming with the love shared between us in overwhelming measure.]

For a little while silence falls until Napoleon speaks up, and honestly? It was so sweet ;-; I tear up every single time: “Forgiven. You know how much I dislike formalities anyway. And besides, who could say no to le Comte?” MC notes that everyone murmurs in agreement and a kind of warmth settles in the room. Arthur notes that MC will be a Comtesse very soon and MC just. I’m going to be a WHAT now (”C-c-comtesse??”). And it’s so FUCKING FUNNY YOU CAN FEEL THE RED EYE EDIT MEME ON COMTE WHEN HE GOES “Oh? Is there anything wrong with that? Everybody said yes, after all :>” MC internally accuses them of ganging up on her, but reveals that more than anything she’s a little overwhelmed by the outpouring of love in the best way:

MC: [Overwhelmed with feeling; touched, a little shy, embarrassed, but also full of joy--my eyes burn at the edges with tears] “I'm glad everyone approves c:”

Comte: Agreed :> your country/homeland has a nice custom. A v important step to inviting my loved one into my life as my wife :>>>>

So it then cuts to them in Comte’s room after the circus and MC thanks him for the sweet confession in front of everyone, tells him how happy it made her. He insists that it was only natural he would, and that it isn’t even enough.

Comte: “I am the one...your life, your time as a human being; I'll be taking all of it from you.”

MC: [...Comte? He took my hand with a very serious expression]

Comte: "As I said before, I will make you a vampire someday."

MC: “Don't call it that--a price. I want to live with you too!”

MC notes that while she hasn’t made the leap yet, she knows she’ll be ready for it soon enough.

Comte: “Thank you. But the last thing I want is to take things from you, I want to do everything I can to make you happy, to make you smile. Whether that means weddings, requests--anything in my power.”

COMTE REALLY SAID "she is entrusting me with her future and that means I have the responsibility of not only ascertaining her happiness, but proving my unwavering devotion to it" AND IM HOLLERING????? LADIES GET YOU A FUCKING MANS. MC finally begins to understand this, and she’s like OMFG is that why you went off so hard this afternoon???? And Comte’s like :>>>> guilty as charged, though I think I'm also just still excited about the wedding too, haha! They hug it out (YESSSSSSS LET ME H O L D) and MC asks him again if there’s anything he wants for the wedding too. Aight y’all I would be irresponsible if I didn’t warn you beforehand, get fucking tissues. I’m still upset abt his answer and I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL. He thinks about it for a bit, before kissing her forehead and saying “I suppose, can you pray for my happiness too? That's enough."

AIGHT IMMA GO BACK TO THE EVENT IN A SECOND BUT I GOTTA SAY. BITCH. BITCH ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME????? COMTE THAT ISN’T OPTIONAL THAT’S A GOD DAMN PREREQUISITE?????????????????? OFC WE WISH FOR YOUR HAPPINESS WHAT THE FUCK??????????????? THE A U D A C I T Y. I’VE NEVER BEEN MORE INSULTED IN ALL MY LIFE. OKAY RANT OVER.

MC is surprised but naturally agrees to it, having wanted that for him even without prompting. She continues to think on it, insisting that she wants to do something for him too. An idea sparks but it only says that she made preparations without telling him anything for now, preparing a tangible sign of her love for the wedding.

The premium end begin here. She’s getting dressed for the wedding, and she’s--as usual--in awe of his perfect selection of accessories/jewelry to go with the gown. She’s about to put on her shoes when she notices something odd, and there’s a knock at the door. Comte enters to ask if she’s ready, and they both freeze and stare at each other. They both sheepishly admit to being completely taken with the sight of the other, and they laugh about it together. Comte tries to ask if she’s ready again, and she assures him that she is--just that she found something unexpected in her shoes.

He explains that the coin is an English six pence. Sebastian told him that they are no longer made in her time, and Comte explains he acquired it about three hundred years ago in England when he was living there (he says that he kept it back then because he liked the design on it). He explains that there is a tradition, that the English would put a six pence in a bride’s left shoe in the hopes of wishing her good fortune and prosperity in her oncoming union. MC has her understandable and customary (JESUS I FORGET HOW OLD THIS MAN IS SOMETIMES) and he places a hand over hers that’s holding the coin when she starts staring at it.

Comte: "Hey, MC....Time goes by, and various things will continue to change. Among them, it is only vampires who survive without dying or changing."

MC: "Comte..."

Comte: "I used to think that made it--made us--empty. But...I don't think that's the case anymore. I'm proud of being able to keep this undying, unchanging love for you."

[He put the coin back in my left shoe, and offered them to me--gentle as though they were made of glass(Cinderella's)]

MC spends this exchange on the verge of tears, but keeps it together for the wedding. It depicts their loved ones all around them as they walk down the aisle, and skips to the end of the ceremony. The priest tells Comte he may now kiss the bride (WHEN I WAS TRANSLATING IT SAID “KISS YOUR BUSINESS” AND WHEN I TELL YOU I WHEEZED), but just as he’s about to lift her veil--she stops him in his tracks. He’s confused, and says her name, but she reassures him that she just wants to offer him a wedding gift before he lifts it. Hidden in her bouquet are two pins that she had made, and she pins them to his jacket. They were made from preserved flowers, encased in metal to render them undying/everlasting.

MC: [Me too...I want to wish for your happiness...]

MC: “For you, things might feel fleeting--like they just pass you by, are lost before you can grasp them. But even so, my feelings won't change; just like this preserved/undying flower and the life of a vampire--dedicated to [Comte's real name] in everlasting love."

COMTE.EXE HAS CURRENTLY SHUTDOWN. REBOOTING.

MC notes that his eyes get misty and he leans his forehead against hers.

MC: [Comte's real name]?

Comte: .................I want to hug you as tight as I possibly can, but I'd hate to ruin the flowers/your gift to me

BITCH WHEN I TELL YOU I SOBBED. WHEN I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1. I CANT GET OVER THE FACT THAT HER GIFT IS NOT ONLY CANON BUT ITS LITERALLY ON HIS WEDDING SPRITE, HER LOVE IS A VISIBLE MANIFESTATION ON HIS PERSON ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2. THE FACT THAT SHE ONLY ADMITS TO BEING THE HAPPIEST SHE CAN BE WHEN SHE SEES HIM SO HAPPY TOO. THIS IS SO MUCH. SO M U C H

And so Comte lifts her veil and kisses her gently uwu cover ur eyes chirren, the hall erupts in raucous applause and the crowd starts congratulating them!! Comte then encourages everyone to have fun, and the reception takes on the vibe of a kind of social gathering. MC notes that he seems to prefer this level of interaction, just relaxed and everyone chill, and she turns to tell him that it seems like it’ll be fun! Before she can finish her sentence, he kisses her fiercely before leaning back with a sigh, "It's still not enough, but I'll save the rest for later tonight." BITCH!!?!?!??!??!? HOW THE FUCK CAN ANYONE FOCUS ON A STUPID PARTY WHEN YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT, HELLO???????MC notes: [Everyone from the mansion that saw the kiss made fun of me endlessly, and I hid my face in my bouquet] SAVE HER. Once again, it skips to the end of the reception and they’re now in Comte’s room. (I will blink twice if I think you need tissues BLINKS TWICE)

Comte: "Yup, perfect." [He places the flower pins I gave him next to THE hourglass in the room, looking pleased HNGNNGNGNNGGNGN MY EYE HOLES ARE SUFFERING

MC: "I'm glad you liked the gift c:"

Comte: "It is proof of your unchanging love, of course I cherish it :>"

She’s just so happy to see him so delighted with it. He asks how she liked the ceremony, and she gushes about how much she loved it. He hugs her (AWWWWWWWWWWWW) and then he notes that while it was fun to celebrate, all he wants now is time with his wife (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA). He starts kissing her like the world is ending, and she says she needs to get changed--but he doesn’t care, says she’s fine as she is and that he wants her right now.

Aight usually I don’t get into epilogue territory, but honestly, this shit was JUST too good. Now this man made of magic asks MC if she’s wearing her bridal garter (you know, the one that usually comes with the whole bride ensemble in Western tradition). And she’s like ???? Uh, yeah, of course? Why... He says that he saw something interesting at a friend’s wedding reception once upon a time, and explains that the garter is usually removed and thrown to the bachelors (analogous to the bride’s throwing her bouquet, and whoever catches it will be the next to get married). PLEASE NOTE HE IS KISSING HER FOR LIKE 90% OF THIS IT’S AMAZING

MC: "So it's like the bouquet toss?"

Comte: "Yes. Now then, how did he remove the garter...?”

HE DUCKS DOWN AND SHE’S LIKE COMTE!?!?

Comte: “...Ah yes, the groom removes it with his teeth >:D”

And so this man HAS THE TIME OF HIS LIFE tugging it down slowly under her dress, caressing her legs and loving every part of her. MC’s face is on fire, and she’s torn between being turned on and embarrassed. Eventually he reappears after teasing her MERCILESSLY and admits that he didn’t do it at the reception because he didn’t want anyone else to see her reaction. Blushing, shy, desirous--all of these feelings are his to keep and enjoy. (I!!!!! LOVE!!!!!!!!!! HOW SUBTLY POSSESSIVE HE IS AAAAAAAAAA) MC notes internally that she feels the same way about him, how he only shows this intensely passionate side to her. Comte is uncharacteristically impatient and frenzied that night, and they both go at it.

It skips to midnight where the two are cuddling in the aftermath, just being cute and happy. Comte, the absolute MADLAD is already thinking about how to celebrate next year--and she just giggles at him (he’s a wackadoo but he’s her wackadoo LMFAO MOOD) and he laughs with her. They essentially swear to promise their love over and over in the future, and it just ends on that wholesome note :>>>

Also can I just. The fact that he lived for so long alone, but was always, always paying attention to all of these little things that are done with a person’s loved one ;-; that he would remember his friend doing that at his wedding and be like BROOOOO I WANNA DO THAT IF I EVER GET MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!! I just. It’s so heartbreaking and touching at the same time, I just want to hold him forever ;-; the fact that he doesn’t seem to worry as much about his own happiness, seems absolutely floored that MC would do anything in return. I JUST LOVE HIM WITH EVERYTHING INSIDE OF ME

THIS IS WHAT PEAK PERFORMANCE LOOKS LIKE

#asks #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp spoilers #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp wedding event #NOW I CAN REST IN PIECES O-<--<#today on: reasons why i would die for comte no.347 #will i ever stop? no #do i have a problem? probably #but i have a tumblr account and the ability to write and i am making that everyone else's problem fdkjlhgfdjkh #but i hope you enjoyed my rambles!!!#you're always welcome here friend! :D #tho yall story time #when he asked abt the garter i started SCREECHING bc i knew EXACTLY where it was going #in middle school i saw a guy do it once at a wedding but i didnt know what the sex^TM was so i didnt think anything of it #i was like haha weird wedding tradition go brrrr why is everyone whistling #and when i was reading i just immediately was sent back and i was like OMFG HE'S GONNA DO IT ISN'T HE THE WILD MAN #but honestly i cant get over how romantic comte is #he has no necessity to enact all these little rituals--i dont really know if he even believes in any kind of religion at all #(i dont think he does honestly but he never speaks to it directly)#but the thought of sharing that with her #of doing those things to make her happy and express his feelings #it makes me so very softe #i dont even believe in all of those wonderful things and yet he makes me want to humor that kind of belief #also idk why the cuts arent working properly on the tumbles i apologize in advance im trying to figure out why

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mahvericks · 2 years

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thankfully John had kept the dog food from his previous dog

- ik i commented on this already when u posted the snippet but this still gets me 😭

or simply because you trusted John to wake you up if another nightmare came to bother you.

- w!r trusting john enough to not only sleep in the house soundly but wake them up, the growth ✨

Satisfied, the dog came back to lay next to your chair while John walked to you, putting his hand on your shoulder, he slightly bent down to kiss the top of your head.

- IMMEDIATE DAD MODE OMFG 😭😭

Isn’t he going to be bored here alone?

- no literally, ill be studying and thinking about my dog at home like what do they get up to 🧐

- ok but what if w!r got them registered as a service dog and then like the person (idk how this works but go w me for a sec) is like ok, whats their service? and w!r, straight faced, goes,” they stop me from killing people” /j

Me? Having a soft side? That’s insulting. I’m a lot of things but soft? No. ”

- same energy as that “are you the big/little spoon?” and w!r would totally be the person to say IM A KNIFE, with yelena yelling in from somewhere that theyre the little spoon

you weren’t even sure if someone else than Yelena could cheer you up

- soulmates your honor

“ What? Of course I do! ”

- hc that theyre used to having weapons on them cause yelena always has like a gajillion mini knives in her vest

Two weeks ago I didn’t even know I had someone out there that would care about me

- yelena punching the air rn

you’d look more professional with a suit

- if i, personally, was a target i would infinitely prefer someone not resembling an assassin than a 🕴

No. I’m not teaching you more about being a great hitman in a store

- you killed someone with a pencil john ✋🙄, practicallity is out the window

but had everything you were looking for in a coat, it had pockets

- the first thing they looked for was pockets. yelena loves pockets. in this essay i will-

You look like a pink flamingo.

- they’re sophisticated creatures john 🥸

Now you look like a pink flamingo too! ”

- no because why did this remind me of the “having kids with lisa” hc post 💀 where your daughter like made you a tinfoil hat to keep away aliens

Don’t let him catch you, y/n. You deserve your freedom

- bestie you captured their inner turmoil so well 😳, i was literally struggling like BRO ITS YOU OR THEM but like widows 🥺 BUT WE HAVE TO GET JOHN and i just had a full on animal muppet breakdown like AGHHHHHHHH

“ Will you be fine? Do you need backup? I can find a way to- ”

- THE IMMEDIATE CONCERN 😭, THEYRE IN LOVE HAROLD PLZ🥲🥲🥲

If I told you this yesterday, you would have gone after him

- OK BUT NOW HES AFTER YELENA ✋😤

honestly feeling the betrayal in my bones as we speak🤝 but im happy that theyre getting closer 😃. so happy i finally got to read this bestie <3

-😌

bestie i’m gonna be honest i hate myself for mentioning daisy poor little puppy 🥲 the way i skip the scene every time i watch jw ✋🏻

r trusting her dad is just 🥰

john woke up telling himself it was his first day truly being a dad and i just- 🥲

me when i’m leaving home fr what my baby doing? is she inside or outside? is she sleeping? 😭😭

no no bestie you’re so right idc i’m making r registering the dog as a service dog at some point this is a genius idea 😭🥺

DNHDJSM YES R WOULD NEVER ADMIT SHES THE LIL SPOON

they do be soulmates 😭

yelena owns every different kind of knives and she takes as many as she can in her vest and i will die on this hill

ndjdnek she truly was punching the air when r said that 😭

NOT THE 🕴🏻😭😭😭😭 but true i’d rather be murdered by someone who look like they just got out of a party ✋🏻

and when john kill ppl with a pencil again and r totally fangirl over how badass it was then what

r loving and needing pockets bc yelena LOVES pockets yup

they do be sophisticated more than most humans eheheh 🦩🦩🦩

omg bestie what if, without realizing it, i got inspired by this 👁👄👁

I DIDNT MEAN TO GIVE YOU A BREAKDOWN BUT NGL IT WAS ONE OF MY FAV MOMENTS TO WRITE 😭

harold, they’re lesbians 😳

he’s after yelena, and yelena is sacred we don’t touch yelena and r is out for blood bc no one hurts yelena 🔪🔪🔪

we feeling the betrayal 🔪🔪 i hope it didn’t feel too long to read and that you enjoyed it! i missed you coming in my inbox! <3

#😌 anon #i’m never making a chapter this long again #it was a pain in the ass to rewrite 😭✋🏻

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red-riot-rat · 4 years

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ＲＥＱＵＥＳＴ: Omg hi lovely (I hope you don’t mind me that, I call literally every that hehe)! Could I possibly request a headcanon for Shinso, Bakugo, Kirishima, Jiro and Tsu where reader is physically really really strong but it doesn’t show but then one day she like lifts up Iida with ease and yEets him out cause he was annoying her & like the characters are so shocked and confused but kinda think it’s hot lmao and like they ask her to Flex for them & they find her 10x more hot Hehe Tysm have a great day!

(REQUEST BY @smol-punk-human)

HEY HEY!! I LOVE THIS REQUESTTTTT G,DFGD,FG

Ｇｅｎｒｅ：

𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: cursing,,,,, shinsou’s a horny fuck (apologies to my dear Hitoshi anon,, love you lots <3), also bakubabes is horny,

𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘴: THEY/THEM (GENDER NEUTRAL) CEPT FOR JIRO AND TSU THOSE ARE SHE/HER (FEMALE)

AN: GUESS WHOS FUCKING BACK FROM THE GODDAMN DEAD?? MY NORMAL POSTS,,, im sorry these are shiT

(im so sorry for any spelling errors im going insane)

Alrighty!

You were in the dorms,,, and you were just like messin around with the bakusquad,

Causing chaos

So you and denki were just playing around

With an outlet

And a fork

And so Tenya runs up, chopping his arms, scolding both you and denki

You just roll your eyes at him and fucking stand up

Trying to like inntimidate this beefy fucking man

And just

Fucking

Pick him up by his waist,

Throw em over your shoulder

And throw him out onto the hallway

But like really far down da hall ya know?

Hes sliding down the hall

FUCKING HELL YEAH

Here are da real headcanons

【Ｓｈｉｎｓｏｕ　Ｈｉｔｏｓｈｉ】

You fucking lifted this fucking man

Straight of the ground

And he fucking collapsed onto the floor as soon as that blue haired dude was resting on your shoulder

Starts a coughing fit,

So hard kaminari had to go shock him to get him back to normal

When he stood up face to face with you full ass

Had no remorse

Fucking started making out with you,

His hands resting on your sides, and pulling you close

Full ass was just horny now

“Babe, you didn’t fucking tell us you were that strong?”

His face is

R e d

Literal simp

N e way

Will boast about you to everyone,

But doesnt touch your muscles in public

But in private?

Fucking hanging on em like a fucking monkey

Massages your muscles for no reason??

Like youre sitting in bed and hes playing on his pc,,, and suddenly

Hes fucking massaging the SHIT out of those bb’s

Also makes fun of iida for the hell of it

【Ｂａｋｕｇｏｕ　Ｋａｔｓｕｋｉ】

Just fucking stares

Like is so confused

Like are you stronger than him?

Is he still stronger than you?

How strong are you?

Laughs his ass off at tenya as he comes back into the room, obviously shaken up

Literally is fucking crying laughing on the floor

Its not that funny, but the fact he’s got an s/o who can beat someone's ass so easily???

Is wonderful to him,,,,,

And really hot

Fr you guys go back to his dorm and he fucking POUNCES ON YOU BABES

He’s all like

“Damn babes, that was fucking hot.”

Why am i making everyone horny here

Long story short,,

A whore for your muscles and will admit it.

But only to you,,, so

Also you guys work out together now alL THE FUCKING TIME because he wants to have big muscles like you

(bigger muscles)

yall have flexing competitions

【Ｋｉｒｉｓｈｉｍａ　Ｅｉｊｉｒｏｕ】

THIS BITCH IS FUCKING S TO K E D

TO SEE YOU MANHANDLE THIS FUCKING BEEFY DUDE

AND SLIDE HIM DOWN THE HALL LIKE HES A FUCKING DISC

“BaBE WHAT?????? THROW ME TOO!”

Yes

Please slide him like a disc as well

Dude when he slides down the hall next to iida he full ass just praises you

“Dude my babe is so fucking strong!”

Iida just kinda lies in the middle of the hallway, feeling at a loss

But HES FINE SO

AHAHAHH

Brags about you to EVERYONE

Goes up to allmight and brags

Shinsou knows a shit ton about your muscles

Sits and stares at your muscles

Squishes them

Has asked you multiple times to squish his head inbetween you arms just for fun

Did you do it?

Its up to you

(yeah you did)

(no fighting it)

Also you and him also work out together but its more him hyping you up and getting distracted by your BEEFY muslces than actually workin out

gets you to flex in the middle of class just so he can fangirl over you

【Ｊｉｒō　Ｋｙōｋａ】

YES I FUCKING GET TO WRITE SOME HOMO SHITTTTT

GOD FUCKING NOSE BLEED MANIA HERE

Literally chokes on air and like

Shes just amazed

Wow

Woah

Will pass out when you come up to her

Pls catch her dude

Is red when she gets back up

Like REALLY RED

Stutters for about 5 minutes before just wrapping her arms around yours and just hugging

“Fuck that was hot. Do it again.”

When you flex for her she squeaks

Measures to see if her hands can fit around your muscles

WRITES A SONG ABOUT A STRONG ASS GIRLFRIENDDDDD

Just kinda dies inside

Watches you work out to see those

BEEFY FUCKING MUSCLES BABES

10/10 IS GAY

【Ｔｓｕ　Ａｓｕｉ】

YOU KNOW THAT THING SHE DID

WHEN SHE WAS INTERNING

“Kawaii.”

WITH THE LITTLE BLUSH

Thats what she did!!!

Also was very concerned for Iida

so went to check on him

but IS FUCKING AMAZED BY YOUR POWER

full ass comes back to you and just stares you in the eyes

for like a minute

before just smiling

“I love you.”

has fallen in love with you more

is very thankful she knows you can protect yourself,,

and is proud of you because youre also really hot

you’ve only flexed for her a few times and she went all red and complimented you

really she just admires you from

a f a r

AN: these are shit,, and really short im so sorry

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jejublr · 6 years

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500+ Followers!

Hey, guys!!! I’d like to thank you because I have reached 500+ followers while I was away!!! Thank you so much to every one of you who have liked and supported my work. I’d never thought this many people would enjoy my work? I started this blog only with the mindset that I want to go back to writing and just do what I’ve always love doing. It’s been what, 6-7 months? And I never thought I’d get 500+ followers in such short period of time? With all the love and support I’ve been getting, I am more motivated to deliver better content on my blog, so thank you so much for that.

Of course all these would be impossible without the push and love I’ve been getting from few special people I have met on this website so here are the honorable mentions that you guys deserve!

@mansaeboysbe: Bee here is the very first mutual that I made here??? (I think? I have s*** memory I’m so sorry) but oh my God, she made me feel so welcomed and loved and I was surprised that she actually dm-ed me first??? I was a big, big fan of her work so I had a fangirl moment when she did and now we’re each other’s hype person!!! Bee, thank you so much for being such kind friend to me. I hope this friendship will last!

@princeshushu: freaking Clar. One of the sweetest person I’ve ever encountered??? Thank you for being one of my biggest hype woman. Clar is so precious and sweet and I hope people would realize how much of a gentle soul she is. She’s never been nothing but supportive towards me and thank you for that amazing collab! It was so much fun working with you!!! Thank you for being an amazing friend, Clar. You mean a lot to me :)

@straziya: TALANI. A beautiful person with an even more beautiful heart. It’s super amusing whenever you start talking about Wonwoo in the softest way possible. I really enjoy talking to you and thank you for being such a great friend to me. I hope you know how precious you are to me. I hope you get to travel to all the places you wanna go one day and reach your dreams. You deserve nothing less <3

@whalien-in-luv: I cannot believe you reached out first?? Thank you for doing that because I’m such an awkward bean and I need friends but you’re super cool and chill and honestly, I think I’m still nervous talking to you!!! You’re so chill and easy to talk to and thank you so much for being a friend??? Like, you’re the first one here that I have an actual contact with so that’s a LOT!

@sunnysidewrites: Sunny!!! One of my first internet friends!!! Thank you so much for being such a hype person to me, always encouraging me to be a better writer!!! Thank you so much for all the love and support you’ve given me when I’m at my lowest. You truly are a precious friend to me and I can only wish you all the best, man.

@justkpopjokes: Lin is my meme friend. It’s so easy to talk to her??? We can just send each other memes back and forth and I’d never get tired of it. Thank you so much for being my friend, Lin. Thank you for making my days by sending me the weirdest meme ever imaginable. And to be able to watch your writing grow was something else. I hope that you will keep writing bc I really do enjoy what you write. Again, thank you so much for being a great friend!!!

@dorkkyeoms: Regine!!! Would it be rude to say that you’re like an older sister to me on this site?? You’re so sweet and kind and so friendly!!! Thank you so much for helping me with my dreams and actually taking the time to give me info that helped me a lot in what I want to do in the future. I’m ever so grateful for your help and I’d like to thank you for being a precious friend to me. I hope you reach your dreams and I wish you all the best!!!

@justsomekpopstuff: SUCH A SUPPORTIVE PERSON OMG. Thank you fr every single like and reblog and all the kind things you write in the tags. All that really warms my heart whenever I see you on my timeline. Thank you for being a great friend and for being so supportive with my works. Your support is priceless and I’m so grateful to have a friend like you. I hope we will talk more! You’re such a great friend!

@khanhwrites: winks!!! oh my God, you were that mysterious anon for a few days and to say that you got me round and round is an understatement. But I’m glad we’re actually friends now!!!! it’s funny talking to her bc we went from talking about a thing but somehow ended up talking about writing crack fics together? (I didn’t forget, you know!) I hope we get to write that weird ass s*** one day and y’all better be ready when we did.

@xumingshua: Hey, you! Thank you for being such a good friend to me! Thank you for looking out for me and being so caring. You’ve always been supportive towards me and my work and I’m forever grateful for that. You’re such a kind and sweet person and I really enjoy talking to you so I hope we’ll be better friends in the future! Good luck with everything and I know you’re gonna get where you want to be one day! I wish you all the best, my dude.

@lycheechann: my new friend!! Ally is so sweet, you guys. We’ve only talked recently and already I can see what a kind person she is. again, she’s another person that’s really funny to talk to? like, we talked about seventeen as buzzfeed things? calling evan from buzzfeed doritto man? (pfft) and honestly, anything! such an easy-going person to talk to and she has so much love to give and I’M HERE TO GIVE YOU BACK THE LOVE YOU DESERVE, GODDANGIT.

@cinderellaanon: You are the only anon that I have and, dear God, how much I cherish you. Every single message you’ve sent me were nothing but sweet and heartfelt and I literally can feel your love everytime I read through your message. You’ve always been so encouraging and so, so kind and I wish nothing but the best for you, Cinderella Anon. I might not know you but for sure, you are a beautiful person inside and out. Thank you so much for all the love and support you’ve given me. I’m so, so grateful for you and I hope one day, we can actually be friends! ^^

@blacklioness15 @icantatoryourtots @ru-lin @imagine-fantasyland: I’m not really familiar with you guys but you’ve been such constant like/rebloggers and honestly, all of you are so sweet for supporting my content so thank you so much for everything! You guys mean a lot to me so I hope you guys know! Pls don’t be shy to drop a message or two! I’d love to be your friend!

I’m sorry if I missed anyone but please know that I’m still grateful beyond words having you here with me. Thank you for all the love you’ve given me and please don’t hesitate to message me! I’d love us to be friends and be a small community that loves and support each other. I love you all and I hope you’re having a day as beautiful as yourselves! ^^

#thank you so much #you guys mean so much to me #thank you for all the love and support #i will work harder in the future!!!#follower milestone

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randomfanfictiontime · 7 years

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I Can’t Help Who I Love

Summary: After Hannah Baker’s death, you’re life turned to shit. Your boyfriend broke up with you, your best friend is dead... Nothing could make your life worse. Well, maybe one thing... (I swear the actual story is better than the summary!)

Pairing: Alex Standall x Reader, Zach Dempsey x Reader (platonic), Hannah Baker x Reader (platonic)

Word Count: 5479

Warning(s): Mentions of suicide, mentions of teen pregnancy, A SHIT TON OF ANGST OMG, MeGa FeeLs (( I was listening to ‘River Flows in You’. I wAS SaD sO i sHAll CONdem YOu to BeiNG Sad As WeLL))

(A/N): As you can see, I threw my feelings up all over the fic. Someone needs to ban me from ‘Thirteen Reasons Why’, Alex Standall, and angst because this is the result. Put those things together and I poop out this story. I AM SO SORRY! Also, this is my first 13RW imagine so I’d appreciate the feedback. I really, honestly hope you enjoy it, because I really enjoyed writing it. I’m actually really proud of this piece, it’s easily one of my favorites.

You were the fourth. The fourth member of the little "squad" that had formed after Hannah's death. The fourth tape. The fourth reason... The fourth reason that Hannah Baker ended her life. You couldn't believe it when you heard the words "Welcome to your tape, (Y/N) (L/N)." You remember thinking, 'Why on Earth were you on this?' You racked your brain the whole entire night, trying to come up with some plausible excuse as to why you were on them. And you came up with nothing.

After listening, you couldn't believe it. Of course you felt guilty for what you did, but it's not like you could've helped it. As they say... You can't help who you fall in love with...

************************ "Now, tell me... Would you want to date someone who created a list, a list meant to get back at his girlfriend for not sleeping with him, but instead ruined another girl's life in the process...? I wouldn't. So, imagine my surprise when my so-called 'friend' decided that it would be a good idea to fall for him.

"Welcome to your tape... (Y/N) (L/N)."

************************ "(Y/N), hey! Wait up!" You hear from down the hall. Glancing over your shoulder, you spy Clay Jenson making his way through the crowd, trying to catch up to you.

They warned you about him. Justin, Jessica, Alex... They warned you that he had the tapes and that he was cornering them, threatening them. And since you were the next person, it was your turn.

Quickly trying to look for a way out, you bolt towards the back exit. Looking behind you, you notice that Clay was no where in sight. As you sigh in relief, you begin turning the corner only to come in contact with someone's chest. You yelp and fall backwards.

"(Y/N), oh sorry." He holds out his hand for you to take, which you do, and helps you up.

"What do you want, Clay?"

"I just want to know why you did it. She was your friend and you stabbed her in the back." Your eyes begin to tear up, the mere memory of her...

"Look, Clay..." You begin, releasing a shaky breath. "I can't talk to you about this, okay?" You turn to leave but he grabs onto your arm, forcing you stop.

"Why not?"

"Because, I can't." Feeling you try to pull away, Clay tightens his hold on you.

"You knew what he did. You knew he ruined her, yet you still dated him? Explain it to me. Why would you-"

"What do you want me to say, Clay?! That I'm sorry? That I'm stupid for choosing Alex, out of all people? Well I am! I'm sorry and I'm incredibly stupid! But that doesn't change anything, does it? Me saying sorry isn't going to change a damn thing..." You were full on crying now, sobs breaking up your yelling, making you sound weak.

"Hey!" You heard someone yell furiously.

"What the hell are you doing to her? Back off, man!" You felt Clay's grip get ripped off of your arm as he got shoved away from you. Looking up, you saw a furious-looking Alex standing in between you and Clay.

"Alex, it's okay..." You mumble, pulling him away.

"No, it isn't. You're crying, and he's the cause of it." He pointed to a miserable looking Clay.

"Why do you even care, Alex?" He turned to look at you, disbelief written all over his face.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means we broke up, so you can stop pretending to care." He stood, silent. His mouth opened for a split second, as if he was going to say something but he closed it before he could. He just let out a scoff, walking away as he shook his head. You turn back to Clay, wiping the tears from your eyes. More just took their place.

"You can't help who you fall in love with, Clay... You of all people should know that." And with that, you walk away, leaving Clay standing in his place, processing what just happened and what you had said.

************************

"We met at Monet's. You were sitting alone, sipping your drink, slowly. Alex and Jessica were talking about how unfairly some substitute was to their class, while I just sat there, drinking my hot chocolate, staring into space. I was the one who suggested we go over there and say hi, seeing as you looked lonely.

"Why?" Jessica asked, looking over at you with a weird look in her eye.

"Well, because she looks lonely." They didn't say anything so I got up and went over to you. Your eyes glanced up at me, slight hope sparking in them. That spark went away as soon as you saw it was me.

"Sorry, I thought you were someone else." You mumbled, going back to chewing on your straw.

"Waiting on someone?" I knew the answer, but I asked anyway.

"Yep. Got stood up, again. I need to learn not to trust guys." You laughed. Despite the sadness you probably felt, you laughed. And I laughed along with you.

"Yeah, guys are dicks."

"Amen, sister." We sat there, just laughing.

"I'm (Y/N)," you stuck your hand out for me to shake.

"Hannah." Alex and Jessica waved over to me, beckoning for me to come back.

"Hey, would you want to come sit with us? My friends are over there." I pointed at them.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Would you?" You sat there, silent and thinking. Finally, you smile and nod.

"I would love to." And just like that, another member was added to our tiny group. Three became four. And even after Jessica and Alex disappeared, you stuck with me. You never left.

I can easily say that you were my best friend, (Y/N). We had sleepovers, talking about cheesy things like boys and you would go all fangirl about your crush on Montgomery De la Cruz, or I gushed to you about how a certain someone looked at me or talked to me. We walked home from school together, went on coffee dates to Monet's. You would always swing by the Crestmont to see me whenever you could. You wouldn't even watch a movie, you would just stand there for hours and we would just talk.

I could come talk to you about anything and you would listen. And even after everything... After Justin's picture or Alex's list, you never left me. I remember showing up on your doorstep, crying, and you took me in. You let me rant and vent all I wanted. I remember asking you why you were still my friend.

"Because," you told me, "I don't care about your reputation, Hannah. I don't care if you did or didn't do that stuff because to me, they are just rumors. You are my best friend, Hannah and until you flat out tell me that they are true, I won't believe a word. And besides, guys are dicks." It was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me."

************************

You had decided to go the cliff to get your mind off of things, but it only made it worse. Tears streamed down your face as you reminisced about all of the memories you had with Hannah or about the ones you had with Alex. You didn't know where it all went wrong, with either or them. Everything had seemed so fine one second but came crashing down in the next. That was just life, you guessed.

************************

One day at lunch, you practically came skipping over to me, all smiley and giggly.

"Why do you look so giddy today? Oh my God, are you blushing?" I laughed, moving my stuff out of the way so you could sit. You rubbed your cheeks, unable to wipe the smile off of your lips.

"Shut up!" You whined before getting back on point. "Okay, so you know how I had that crush on someone, but I never thought it was going to happen considering he just got out of a relationship and all that?" Nodding, I urge you to continue.

"Well... Last night, he took me out on a date."

"Oh my gosh, really?" You nod happily.

"Are you ever going to tell me who this mystery guy is?"

"Oh Hannah, I don't kiss and tell."

"What? You two kissed?"

"It was completely accidental, but it was awesome nonetheless." I was so happy for you, (Y/N). I didn't think much of it that day, but I could've sworn that I saw a weird look cross your face. One full of remorse and guilt. I didn't understand why. I also didn't understand why you didn't really tell me anything about the guy you were dating until a few weeks later, you arrived at the Crestmont. With Alex.

"Two tickets for 'It' please." I was working the booth that night, so when Alex showed up, I had to at least pretend to be nice.

"Oh... Hey Hannah." He mumbled once he saw it was me.

"On a date?"

"Uh... Yeah." That was when you approached.

"Hey, while you get the tickets, I'll go ahead and get our po-" you stopped your sentence short when you saw me.

"Hannah? I-I thought that you weren't working tonight..." I got the feeling of overwhelming deja vu. But most of all, I was hurt. Alex excused himself, letting us talk privately.

"Alex is the mystery guy?"

"Yeah, listen Han... I'm really sorry." You knew what he did to me, yet you still dated him. Looking back at all of the times you gushed to me about your 'new boyfriend', it never occurred to me that it would be Alex. I didn't realize that you were going behind my back with the person who started it all. I felt sad, empty... Most of all I felt betrayed. You were my best friend. But best friends, they don't do what you did... So I had assumed that you were never really my friend.

Now... Now I realize that you were actually my friend. No one can fake it for that long, so well. I just want to know... why'd you do it?"

************************

Over the course of the next few days, you did your very best to ignore Clay, and Alex. But, you knew you couldn't for long. And Zach voiced your fears.

"(Y/N), he getting closer to his tape, which means-"

"I know exactly what it means." You snap, immediately apologizing.

"I'm only trying to look out for you."

"I know, Zach." Before Hannah died, you and Zach became best friends. It was mostly because he was the least obnoxious out of all of Alex's new friends. You two had remained friends even after the break up and Hannah's death.

"Look, maybe he won't put the pieces together. I mean, none of you guys did, so..."

"Clay is smarter than the rest of us." He was also one of the only ones who you told your secret to. You are hoping to keep it that way.

"Look, I'm not that worried. It'll probably blow right over his head." The truth is, you're terrified. Clay is smart, really smart.

"As long as your sure..."

~CLAY'S POV~

He was so close to being done. He was on tape number 12, having already listened to his tape. He felt a feeling of dread, it seemed as though as the numbers progress, each reason is worse than the last. Taking in deep breath, he presses play.

************************

"I just want to add something, a story, before I get on with reason number 12... Now, let me be clear. This section of the tape is not a reason. But, it is something significant that I feel I should mention. I won't be giving any names as to who it is I'm talking about, it's not my place to. But perhaps maybe it will help them...

This happened the same night of Jessica's party. It came before everything that happened with Sheri, Justin, and Clay...

She had approached me while I was sitting on the couch. I was alone, so it gave her the perfect time to walk up to me, looking as if she was about to burst into tears right then and there. She asked if we could talk for a second in private. Now, why would she come up to me of all people in a house crowded with them, you may ask? Well, all I'm going to say is that she was my friend. Whether I admitted that at the time, she was my friend.

"I know that we aren't on good terms at the moment..." She began, pausing as if she was thinking about a good way to word whatever it was she was going to tell me.

"And I know that you must not want to see me, but I didn't know who else I could talk to, who else I could trust..." She seemed to be struggling with something major so despite everything, I gave in.

"What is it?"

"Something happened... And I don't know what to do. I haven't told anyone, not even my parents." Her words were broken by the tears that began flowing down her face. I placed my hands on her shoulders as she looked at me with teary eyes. Whatever it was, it had to have been bad because this girl hardly ever cried in public. Sure, she's cried to me a lot, but never was it in a public setting. And here we were, at a party.

"You can tell me. What is it? What happened?" I knew her and her boyfriend had recently had a pretty bad break up, so I assumed that it had something to do with him. But, what I was expecting her say and what she did say were completely opposite of each other.

"I-I," she stuttered, tripping over her words. I waited patiently, knowing that you can't rush her in these types of moments. Finally, after about a minute, she whispered something. It was so low, and the music from inside the house was so loud, I couldn't make out a word that she had said.

"What?" She said it once more, only slightly louder. This time, I read her lips. My heart was pumping because of what I thought she had said. It couldn't be though, could it? No.

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?" She took in a shaky breath, and you said it so loud, you almost shouted it.

"I'm pregnant." In that moment, everything that had happened to me, all of the shit that had happened... I don't think any thing could compare to what she was feeling in that moment. I pulled her in for a hug, knowing that she needed comfort. She cried on my shoulder for a long time.

"How far along are you?" I asked, just out of curiosity.

"Only about two weeks, I'd say. I found out last week." She sniffled. We had moved back into the house, and were sitting on the couch.

"Is it his?" I hesitate to ask this, but, again, I was curious. And she needed to talk about it.

"Yes...

"Are you going to tell him?" She looked at me as if I was crazy.

"What? No, Hannah. You can't tell him."

"Why not? If it's his then-"

"No! He's a teenage guy, and besides, he already dumped me. Do you honestly believe that he will accept this?"

"I don't know, maybe." It was hard to believe, but it was her we were talking about. Her ex loved her very much, even I could see that. I still don't know why he broke up with her. He absolutely broke her heart. And I disliked him even more after that, if that was even possible.

"Hannah, you have to promise me that you won't tell anyone. Especially him." I argued with her, saying that it wasn't for the best that she keep it from him, asking her what she was going to do when the bump was noticeable.

"I'll figure it out but please. Promise me. If you've ever been my friend, you won't tell him." And, reluctantly, I agreed.

I am still keeping my word. I have never told a soul. Not until now at least. And even now, I still didn't give you a single name.

As for the girl... I'm sorry. I know that I promised. I also know that it must be disheartening to hear about yourself on a series of tapes giving reasons on why a dead girl is dead... But I assure you, this was not a reason. I thought about this over and over, turning it over in my head. I hope this will give you the courage to tell him, if he doesn't know already. You were, and always will be my friend. Don't forget that.

Now... Onto the true twelfth reason..."

************************

Clay sat, silent. He didn't understand. Someone pregnant? At their school? He hadn't heard anything about it. From anyone. He instantly tried putting the pieces together. How did Hannah and these tapes relate to this girl?

Clay stayed up all night, brain on overdrive, making it hard to sleep. For some reason, he just couldn't let what he had heard go. And it gave him a powerful headache to just keep thinking about it. But, he didn't stop. He wasn't going to stop trying to figure it out until he did.

It was so frustrating. It felt as though if he could just rattle one little piece of memory from his brain, he could figure the whole puzzle out. Everything would click. And, eventually, it did. Right when his alarm clock rang through the early morning air.

~(Y/N)'S POV~

"(Y/N)..." You roll your eyes, slamming your locker door shut.

"Please, Clay. Enough. Just leave me alone, okay?" You turn to walk away.

"I know. I know about you, (Y/N)." His words make you stop in your tracks.

"I didn't understand at first. But, slowly, the pieces began coming together." You turn to face him.

"What are you talking about?"

"I saw you with her the night of Jessica's party. You were hugging her, your shoulders shaking as she comforted you. I didn't remember any of this until earlier this morning. After I stayed up all night, trying to figure out just who she talked about right before tape 12." Your mouth dries up and your heart starts to beat faster and faster.

"Sorry... I have no idea what you're talking about." He walks closer to you, making you back right into the lockers. The school hallways were empty, with the exception to you and Clay. If anyone was in the school, they'd be in the gym, preparing for the basketball game. No one was around to save you.

"Don't play coy with me, (Y/N). I know. Okay? It took me a while to figure out what she meant by 'despite everything that happened between us' or 'you were, and always will be my friend.' It took me awhile to realize that the girl she was talking about was on the tapes...was you. But everything clicked."

"Clay-"

"You're pregnant, aren't you?" Your eyes widen.

"Keep your voice down!" You say, before you have a chance to stop.

"I knew it. Does Alex know?"

"No, and you can't tell him."

"Why shouldn't I? I mean given what Alex did to her... He ruined her life. You both did. Your life is already ruined by the baby, so why not ruin his too?" As he was saying all of this, your hands ball into fists. You clenched them so hard, you could feel the blood trickled from your palm.

"You shut your mouth, Jenson! You think I planned for all of this to happen? Do you think I planned to fall in love with Alex Standall, a boy who created a list that potentially drove my best friend, Hannah Baker to kill herself? Do you think that I planned on betraying her by doing so? Do you think I planned on becoming a single mother? You think that I planned to be a mother at all right now? The answer is no! But it all just happened. I didn't mean for it to, but fate's funny like that." Tears we're pouring down your face, your face had gone red, your hands still balled into fists.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry that all of this happened, and I know you lost the love of your life. But, guess what? I lost mine, too! Both of them! So, who are you to continuously badger me for questions? Who are you to stand here, and rub it in my face? I get it! Do you want me to say it out loud? FINE! I killed Hannah Baker. Did you hear that, or do I have to say it louder?" He was speechless, so you yelled to the top of your lungs, voice breaking due to your tears. "I KILLED HANNAH BAKER! ALL WHILE CARRYING ALEX STANDALL'S BABY!" Your voice boomed through the hallways. You failed to hear the footsteps that echoed down the hallway, coming closer and closer.

"Are you happy now, Clay? ARE YOU FREAKING SATISFIED!?" You dropped to your knees, unable to hold yourself up as you shook uncontrollably, hard, loud sobs racking your body. Before Clay could say a word, he looked over to his right. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw two figures running over to the both of you. Shaking your head, you lowered your head into your bloody hands.

"What the hell, Jenson!" That was Justin's voice. While him and Clay were arguing, you felt hands gently wrap underneath your legs and around your back. You were being lifted into the air.

"Zach?" You cry, blinking your red, puffy, teary eyes at him. He smiles sadly down at you while he takes you away from Justin and Clay.

"Yeah, I'm here. Don't worry, I've got you." You wrap your arms around his neck, hugging him as you sob into his shoulder. Normally, you wouldn't be this broken up, but you had enhanced hormones and with the conversation you just had, well you deserved a good cry. And Zach let you. He always let you come to him and cry on his shoulder, and now was no exception.

Zach had took you to the bathroom, letting you get cleaned up. Your eyes were still puffy and your face was still kind of red.

"I'm sorry." You mumble, walking slowly with him back to the gym.

"Don't apologize. Jenson is the one who should apologize. He had no right in cornering you like that."

"Maybe he did. I mean, everything he said was true. Everything I said was true. I really did kill Hannah Baker. And now he and Justin know that I'm pregnant. What if he tells him? What if he tells Alex? What am I going to do then? God, I'm such an idiot."

"Stop it, you aren't an idiot. You lost your best friend and you're carrying a child, and you're only 17. You're still a kid. No kid should have to go through this. And about Justin... He wouldn't tell Alex, I know that for a fact. He may seem like he's an ass but he's... He's a good guy."

"But, what about Clay? He threatened that he would."

"He's been threatening everyone. He hasn't done anything yet." You sigh, looking down at your stomach.

"Zach, what am I going to do? I'm nearing three months and I'm beginning to show more and more." Zach looks at you with sad eyes, his facial expression giving away what he's thinking. You shake your head.

"(Y/N)..."

"No, don't say it."

"I think it's time to tell him." Tears prick your eyes for what felt like the millionth time.

"No, you don't understand. I can't."

"But why not? What are you afraid of?" You're quiet, staring down at your toes.

"If I tell him... It will make it too real," you whisper.

"What do you mean?"

"If I tell him, it'll mean that this is all real. That it's really happening." He puts a comforting hand on your shoulder, smiling sadly.

"(Y/N), it's already real. It's happening. And there isn't anything you can do to stop it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your leg was bouncing up and down nervously as you waited for him to show, heart beating a million miles a minute. You were chewing on your nails as you delicately traced little circles on your stomach.

"(Y/N)?" His melodic voice flowed through you as glanced up at him, standing up quickly.

"H-Hey. Can we talk?" He scoffed and crossed his arms.

"Oh, so now you wanna talk?" You didn't miss the hint of venom laced in his words.

"Alex, please," you pleaded. "This is important." Sensing the serious tension, he dropped his arms and walked a little closer to you.

"What is it?" You sit on the bench once more, patting the spot next to you.

"Here, sit down." He complies, furrowing his eyebrows at you. You turn slightly so that you are facing him.

"I-I don't really know how to say this, and I don't know how you're gonna take it... Oh, who am I kidding, I know exactly how you're gonna take it." You rambled, stopping only when he placed a comforting hand on your leg. You glanced down at his hand, slightly balling your fists.

"Hey, calm down, okay? Whatever it is, you can tell me." Staying silent, he shifts a bit, taking his hand off of your leg.

"Are you afraid that I'm gonna get mad?" You nod shyly, tears starting to form. He almost immediately pulls you in for a hug, noticing your tears. He rubs your back soothingly as you sob lightly into his shoulder.

"It's gonna be okay, (N/N). Whatever it is, I promise not to get mad."

"Don't make a promise that you won't be able to keep."

"Listen to me. I promise you that I won't get angry. Please, just tell me." You take in a deep breath. 'Here goes...'

"I-I'm pregnant..." You whisper into his ear quietly. He tenses up, pulling back slowly. You are unable to meet his eyes as he stops only when he can fully see your face. He scans it, almost as if to see if you were lying to him.

"What did you say?" He stuttered. You slam your eyes shut tightly.

"Y-You're..." You simply nod.

"And it's mine?" You look at him with wide eyes.

"Of course it is!" You snap, angry that he would even insinuate...

"Holy shit." You pull away from his grasp, putting your face in your hands.

"I'm so sorry." You cry. You felt his arms wrap around you once more.

"This is isn't your fault. Hey, listen to me," he gently pulls your hands away from your face and pulls it so you could look at him. You finally meet his teary, ocean blue eyes.

"This isn't your fault. Do you understand me?"

"But-" he shakes his head, closing his eyes.

"No. I won't let you just blame yourself. Okay? It was both of us."

"Are you angry?" He sighs, opening his eyes once more to look into yours.

"No, of course not. I promised you that I wasn't going to be. But, is this why you've been acting so weird?" You nod.

"That and I didn't think that you wanted anything to do with me."

"What in hell made you think that?"

"You did. You said it the night that you broke up with me. That among other things..." You hear him sigh.

"(Y/N), I am so sorry." You sniff, shaking your head, pulling away from him once again.

"It's not your fault. You didn't love me anymore, that's all. And I respect that, I just... I don't know."

"Don't you dare say that, of course I still love you."

"Not the way a couple should love each other. Not in the way that I want you to..." Once more, he hooked a finger underneath your chin, bringing it towards him, you being forced to look in to his eyes.

"Yes, I do. I love you, so much. So so much."

"Wha...? No, stop. Don't lie to me. I don't like liars."

"I'm not lying to you, (N/N). I really do still love you. I regretted breaking things off the minute that I did it." You take in what he says, furrowing your brows in hurt and anger.

"Then why the hell did you do it? You broke my heart, Alex! I had no idea why you did it or what I did to make you do that. All you did was shout at me, call me names. And now you expect me to just sit here and listen to you break it even more?" You angrily wipe your tears away, turning your face away from him.

"No, no, no, (Y/N). It wasn't like that."

"Okay, then tell me what it was like, tell me what I did because I sure as hell don't know."

"You didn't do a damn thing! It was me, I was the problem in the relationship. I spent to much time with the guys and not enough time with you. I hardly took you out, I... I just wasn't good enough for you." He finishes quietly, staring at the pavement on front of him. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see a tear drop from his eye. He hardly ever cries, so you knew he was being sincere.

"Did I make you think that? That you weren't good enough for me?" He turned toward you, grasping out for your hand. You didn't pull away because, in all honesty... you missed the contact.

"No, baby, no. Don't even think that."

"Then, why...?" he sighed.

"The guys made me believe it. They convinced me that you were better than me, that I wasn't the right guy for you, that once someone better came along... And the way that they'd talk about you, it was vulgar. I couldn't stand to listen to it anymore. I was angry... at them for saying all of that, at myself for believing all of it, and you for putting up with it. I took it out on you, and I'm so sorry."

"See? This is why I never talk to your friends. They are always wrong and stupid. Especially for saying all of that to you. But, you're stupid too, you know." He knew it was true, so he didn't argue.

"You're stupid for believing all of them. I could never think that about you, Alex. Look at me," he hesitantly met your eyes.

"I love you, Alex, and only you. I'm so freaking in love with you, I can't look at anybody else, even if I wanted to. You are my life, my world. That will never, ever change. You can break up with me a million times, call me every name in the book, curse my name, whatever. Deep down, I will never stop loving you. You're the love of my life, Alex. I only wish that you'd believe that...." Without hesitation, without even thinking, he crushed his lips to yours. Lips moving desperately against each other, missing the feel of the other against them.

"I love you, (Y/N). I never stopped, and I never will. I'll never let you go again. Please, give me a second chance. Please..." he whispered against your lips.

"Are you sure that this is what you want? Do you want to be in my, and the baby's, life? Truly?"

"Yes, I really, really do. Only if you'll have me."

"Okay. Okay, all is forgiven." He grinned widely, pulling you up from where you both was sitting.

"Thank you. For everything." He pulled you into a tight, but gentle, hug, rubbing your back soothingly. From a distance, you could see Zach waving at you with both hands, giving a wink and two thumbs up. He had followed you, kept an eye on you in case Alex lashed out. He was definitely your best friend. You close your eyes and rest your head into the crook of Alex's neck, inhaling his scent once again.

'Hannah, I'm so sorry. I miss you, so much. And I'm sorry for what I did to you... but it's true. You can't help who you love, and I'm not ashamed of it. He is so remorseful about what he did to you. Making that stupid list was the worst thing that he ever did, I know this for sure.

We are going to start a beautiful family, and I only hope that you can find it in your heart up there to forgive me, to forgive us. I love you, Hannah.'

Forever Tags:

@trustnobodyshootfirst, @missmalfoy1703, @16wiishes

Masterlist

#alex standall #alex standall x reader #alex standall imagines #zach dempsey #hannah baker #thirteen reasons why imagines #13rw #13 reasons why

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