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#the way it connects to the real story
starlightswitch · 9 months
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Brandon's Girlfriend
(for Writer's Month day 20 prompt different first meeting. AU for my WIP Close for Comfort, if Gabriella made the opposite choice and avoided Brandon's girlfriend instead of seeking her out.)
There’s only one reason I would even think of not going to the funeral home to be there for Brandon.
The reason is that I’m sure his girlfriend is going to be there, and until now I’ve managed not to meet his girlfriend.
It’s kind of amazing, when we go to the same school. Kind of weird that he’s never introduced us. Maybe he thinks we’ve introduced ourselves, since we’re in the same lunch. It has been most of a school year since they started dating.
The reason I haven’t tried to meet her, of course, is that if I meet her I have to acknowledge that she exists.
Which sounds crazy. Of course I know she exists. If she didn’t exist, or at least if she wasn’t Brandon’s girlfriend, I would have told Brandon how I feel about him by now. I hope.
Anyway, I’m going to the funeral home. I have to be there for Brandon. If he breaks up with his girlfriend– which is getting less and less likely the longer they stay together, but it could happen– and I get to tell him how I feel, I don’t want him questioning it because I didn’t show up for him when he needed it.
I get my dad to drive me. On the way we get stuck waiting for a truck to back into a gas station. Waiting does not help my mood. Or Dad’s, when I start tapping my fingers on the windowsill.
When I walk into the funeral home, there’s a little religious ceremony going on, so I wait for that to be over. When it ends, Brandon’s family all gathers in a big group. I’m sure I shouldn’t interrupt them, but I have nothing else to do. Other people are talking. There are some people I kind of recognize from school. Do I go talk to them? I’ve only ever been to a funeral home with my parents, and we talked to the family and then left. I don’t know what to do when I can’t talk to the family.
“Hi,” says someone, and I turn, and it’s Brandon’s girlfriend. Sonya. I should think of her by her name when she’s talking to me.
Brandon’s girlfriend is talking to me.
“I’m Sonya. Brandon’s girlfriend.”
If she doesn’t know who I am… maybe I can do something with that. “I know Brandon from school,” I say, trying to decide if I can give my name or if she’ll recognize it.
“What’s your name?”
Ugh. “Gabriella.”
“Oh. Hi! Brandon’s talked about you.”
I wonder what he said about me. It would probably be suspicious to ask her.
We stand there for a minute, kind of looking in the direction of Brandon and his family. Slowly she says, “I have no idea what to talk about at a time like this.”
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing except talking to Brandon.”
“What do you even say?” she says, and I’m about to snap at her for a second because I think she’s saying I shouldn’t talk to him and I know that’s the wrong thing to do, but when I look at her and really think about how she said it, I realize she’s sympathizing.
She’s not trying to make me look bad. What am I thinking? She doesn’t know how I feel about Brandon. She thinks I’m just a friend.
“I guess just ‘I’m sorry for your loss’. That’s the usual thing to say.” Though I wish I could come up with something better than that for Brandon, I haven’t yet. And I probably wouldn’t tell her if I had.
“I’ve never really been to a funeral home before,” Sonya says softly. “I mean I guess for my one grandpa, but I was a baby and I don’t remember it.”
She doesn’t know anyone else whose grandparents have died? I think everybody in my grade school friend group had a grandparent die, some more than one, and I’ve been to the funeral home every time.
“It’s got to be hard with the first time being–” I am ridiculous. I can’t even manage to call Brandon her boyfriend in the context of ‘your boyfriend’s grandma’.
“It’s so strange!” she says, kind of sighing. “Everyone else is older, and if they have significant others it’s serious. One was crying one day because he didn’t get a chance to tell her he’s going to propose to his girlfriend. They all knew her before this happened. I’d never met her before she went into the hospital. I didn’t know if I should go when they all went to the hospital because they thought she was about to die. I wasn’t there when she died. I feel like I’m not sad enough–” She looks quickly at the cluster of family and cuts off.
“Well, of course you’re not sad, if you didn’t really know her. You don’t have to be sad. You can just be there for Brandon. A lot of us are just here for Brandon. Or his parents, or whoever we know. Not everyone here knew his grandma.” It seems weird, when I think about it, to be helping her, but I’m not helping her in a way that would make Brandon like her more. I’m just trying to make her feel better, because she really shouldn’t feel bad.
“That’s true.” She bites her lips. “Except I feel like as the person who’s going to everything and not really sad because I didn’t know his grandma, I should be… helping and making things run smoothly. Instead of making things awkward by like, asking if we’re supposed to open the casket and thanking the funeral director.”
“What’s wrong with thanking the funeral director?”
Sonya looks at me like that’s a weird question. “She’s doing her job? They’re paying her?”
“You can thank people who are doing their job. I thank people at restaurants all the time. I remember my mom telling me to when I was a kid. It’s polite.”
“I guess you’re right.” She gives me a fragile smile. “Thanks for being here. And thanks for talking to me, even though you’re really here for Brandon.”
And she doesn’t even know how much I’m really here for Brandon.
But I find myself thinking, to my complete surprise, that if we’d met differently maybe Sonya and I would be friends.
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2020 day 20: Five Hours (loss)
2021 day 20: Home for a Dog (dog)
2022 day 21: Loving a Local Legend (jealous)
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hello again everyone i'm putting on my tinfoil jester hat & passing out Hefty grains of salt. its batshit theory time!
in short: i think Julie is gonna get violent & might end up killing someone - or she'll at least try. and i'm pretty sure something terrible is gonna happen to her.
in long: hoo boy. strap in
first off, i'd like to say that i love womens' wrongs And rights! all of this is said with utmost affection & respect for Julie. i love it when characters do terrible things, its interesting and so tasty for the story and their development <3
second disclaimer: most of this is just based off of what we have / know as of now. which is, admittedly, not much! so despite having short arms, i may be reaching very far! i'll get the based-on-knowledge part of my thoughts out of the way before getting into the more abstract I'm Just Making Shit Up At This Point part (educated guessing, yk yk!)
not sure where to start so i'll begin with what starting this line of thinking - flower symbolism. I've gone a little bit into it in a previous post from a while back (where i just made observations about the neighborhood map), but i'll restate the relevant parts. there are two flowers in the neighborhood with greek myths attached, and similar ones at that: the hyacinths outside of the Post Office, and the sunflowers outside of Frank's house.
most people know the hyacinth myth! Apollo, while playing metal frizbee with his (male) mortal lover Hyacinthus, Apollo's thrown discus bounced off of the ground and accidentally hit Hyacinthus in the head, killing him - then Apollo turned the spilled blood into the hyacinth flower. in another - popular - version of the myth, the wind god Zephyrus was jealous and blew the discus off course to kill Hyacinthus. as for sunflowers: Clytie, a nymph, was in love with Apollo and grew jealous of his relationship with a princess, Leucothoe. Clytie informed Leucothoe's father of the relationship, and he buried Leucothoe alive as punishment. Apollo turned his murdered lover into a sunflower. two flowers attached to greek myths about Apollo falling for a mortal, and that mortal gets murdered by a jealous non-mortal.
next, I would like to bring attention to This Concept Artwork from 2021. now i'm not gonna use this as a definitive "oh this exists so it must mean-" but there are always elements of concept work, especially Canon concept work, that sticks or can allude to themes or information that will be revealed later in the story. concepts are concepts for a reason - it means there's a solid idea that's being explored in depth, most times for use (especially that deep into the story crafting).
specifically, right now i'd like to look at the type of flower Julie is holding. pansies. normal ones + the primary fucked up pansy. pansies are symbols of love - both romantic and platonic, but predominantly platonic. it can also symbolize nostalgia, thought, admiration, remembrance, and can even be used as an "i'm sorry" flower. in victorian times, it was often used to represent forbidden/secret love.
stick with me, i'm getting to the point i promise
now, another thing is how much of Julie's character (meta-wise & in regards to the WH show as a production) is centered around love. her house is the "cutest" or most feminine one in the neighborhood, and it's downright infested with hearts, from the windows to the bushes to the chimney. she exists as Frank's foil, and it's almost definitive that she was meant to be Frank's love interest (there's just. so much evidence that there's no way that's not it). and just look at her! she looks like a love interest! if WH was a real show that i sat down to watch, i'd see her and immediately go "oh, ok, that's her base role"
this contradicts with what we know of her character - Julie seems big on platonic love, loving her friends, but other than that? she very much steps around what her house/character design is trying to say. she's hopscotching right over what the production wants from her. the only thing she kinda sticks with is the whole flower thing
but. but but but. i wonder! after the update, I'm pretty confident that the neighbors are influenced by the "script" and the workshop, even if they're not aware of it. see: the difference in how they act in the "recovered media" (where they behave more like they're characters playing out a bit, their dialogue has no natural lulls and it just sounds like a (really good) script) vs the 14 audios & the phone calls (natural dialogue, they seem more layered & like actual people instead of just characters, there's no set shenanigan - they're just doing their own things). and we can assume that the latter audios are from the neighbors off-script off-the-air.
despite this, they still somewhat try to fill their roles. the question is: how much of that is authentic, and how much is them still feeling that pressure to perform? just like how We as people feel pressure and expectation from societal rules/norms, even if we're not conscious of it. like, say... kids growing up thinking being queer is wrong, even if they've never been directly exposed to / made aware of homophobia/transphobia. We fill in the absence of being told "this is right" with "it must be wrong", and We act accordingly
so apply that to sapient puppets who were (again, most likely) made with set relationships, dynamics, and character details in mind. they're meant to be This Way, even if they want to be That Way, and that internal "programming" has to conflict, at least a little. like how I've seen Clown mention that homophobia will/may be a theme, and the only way i can see that happening among puppets who have never been directly exposed to it is if the above happens: they feel pressure from something they're unaware of. expectation from a "higher" plane of existence. as above, so below.
OKAY NOW WE'RE GETTING TO IT I PROMISE! blend this all together into Frank & Eddie catching feelings. they weren't meant to fall in love. they're not supposed to be together. it's - from the perspective of Playfellow & society (in the time period WH was active/created) - wrong.
Julie is supposed to be with Frank. Frank is supposed to be with Julie. in a way, they are together - they're best friends. they're foils. they were created to compliment each other and click. in the media audios, they're almost always together. if one of them is in a scene, so is the other.
so what happens if Frank starts to pull away? if he starts to spend more time with Eddie - what if Julie feels like she's being pushed out? what if she asks Frank to come play, only to be told he already has plans with Eddie, and if Julie tries to join in, what if Frank tells her no?
if it were me in this situation, I think I'd start to panic a little. everything has always been the same - it's always been Frank and Julie. that's how it's supposed to be. Frank and Eddie, well that's just - that's just wrong! and if, at this hypothetical point in the story, things are tangibly starting to degrade/go wrong, Julie might cling even harder, panic even more.
you see where I'm going with this? what i meant with the flower symbolism and what it could point to?
their world is falling apart, and Julie's one constant - Frank, her best friend, her grumpy rock - is pulling away. for Eddie. the mailman. and so what if the jealous "lover" takes action? Julie can make things go back to normal. she needs Frank, and in her mind she's losing him, but she can't lose him. she can't. and maybe that little whisper of expectation that she can't hear but feels nonetheless, fuels this fire. it makes her feel justified, makes her feel the need to act and "correct" this. maybe if she gets rid of the distraction, Frank's love and attention will be hers once more.
i mean, people do insane things when they're under that much pressure. from current probably-horrible events, a loss of control in their own life, their closest person seemingly distancing themselves, subconscious pressure from societal expectation. especially when it comes to love - platonic or romantic. w/ Julie, i'm pretty sure it's platonic in regards to Frank. though she is bi, so you never know! could be both!
and maybe it won't be about Frank & Eddie, if any of this turns out to even a little right. maybe there's a factor I'm not considering or haven't seen yet. but i really do think that there are things pointing to it.
like yeah, the Concept Art linked above. the caption saying "liar", the specific species of flower, Julie holding it over her mouth as if keeping a secret, the hammer. not sure if the person standing over her is her primary puppeteer, an abstract, or something else (it seems cracked?) but that's not what this theory is about!
then there's the flower patch - both behind her in the concept art, and the one behind her house on the map. it's striking me now that the two look very similar. they have mostly the same flowers, even. blue/yellow/white/orange "daisies", some daffodils, what i think are roses (it's hard to tell specifics on the map). an odd choice to make them so similar (unless it's coincidence!).
when I first saw the patch, my immediate thought was "holy shit is that a body dump?!" bc it's oddly green compared to the rest of the map, it's placed at a noticeable distance behind Julie's house - as if it's supposed to be "hidden", and it's the lushest spot in the neighborhood. now, to provide a counterargument to my own claim: it could be very green because that's how things are shaded, it looks like it's at a distance from the house bc the map is 2D, and its the lushest spot bc Julie's all about flowers - also, i doubt flowers would spontaneously grow since we can assume none of them are real. it's a puppet world of props. but who knows.
(and okay this might or might not be relevant but we can assume Julie is the one who made the chalk drawings on the path, right? i think there's a spiral in front of her house. just making a note of it.)
and there's just how much "pressure" seems to be on Julie compared to the others. she doesn't match her house. she doesn't fit her "role" the way she's meant to. AND OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT - by the swingset, there's now a bowling ball and what looks like red scissors. idk about you guys but i associate scissors with Eddie. he's all about crafts, after all! now i'm really reaching but hey? murder weapon? Julie does seem fond of bowling balls... that's a perfect bludgeoning weapon to have on hand (in abundance!)
in conclusion, i just think Julie has major potential to do some deliciously fucked up stuff. in fact, i hope she does! it could be handled/done in an absolutely fascinating way, and could have intriguing consequences.
who knows, maybe i'm right about her trying to get rid of Eddie (not out of malice or anything, just fear & pressure), and there'll be a whole thing where he keeps on coming back, completely unaware that she tried to off him, bc he's a puppet and it's probably really tough to kill something that wasn't really alive in the first place. i mean, in This Observation post i made about some new map secrets, there's a strange window shine on the Post Office door that could be spelling out either "nexus" or "new us". that plus the apparent extra hands/faces behind the door... Eddie is quite accident prone. who's to say he's not used to being replaced by himself? it's not like he'd remember. or is that the reason his memory is bad? holy shit wait - no wait this is a tangent. sorry. this post is about Julie lmao maybe i'll make a different post for this Eddie Thought i just had bc ough. ough...
and also, before anyone tries to come at me - because there's always people who twist words to Start Shit or misinterpret/miss the point - i'm not saying that Julie is like... homophobic. or hates Eddie. or is a "jealous crazy-" just. yk? and if you think that, maybe reread the post. or take a reading comprehension class &lt;3
AS FOR THE SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENING TO JULIE. this is based on Two things and also Vibes. this section will be mercifully short compared to the rest of this clusterfuck of a post
so in the Livestream Trivia doc compiled by @/theneighborhood watch, yes i'm referencing this again sorry, there's this tidbit:
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that, plus This Artwork, which features Julie (they're her shoes!) standing at the edge of an apparent chasm (the edge of the set, i assume) paints an interesting hypothetical picture. maybe she wanders a little too far and falls off the edge of her world. maybe she discovers something and Wally has to do something he doesn't want to do, but "needs" to. hey, who knows. maybe she is gonna hurt / try to hurt someone, and in an attempt to save them / stop her, Wally pushes her - either accidentally or on purpose, either way the end result would be the same. now I'm just pulling things out of my ass so lets move on lmao
then there's the Unknown Record in the website's media section. i actually recorded the audio and sped it up - i'll post that video later - and it seems to be an excerpt from Alice in Wonderland. the only part of it i've been able to clearly pick out is "Alice found herself falling down.... down... down..." followed by, presumably Alice speaking - who's high pitched voice reminds me of Julie's. so that's another point in the Julie Goes Bye-Bye Via Rapid Descent theory. or just goes temporarily missing! it could be that the only relevant part of the above trivia tidbit is the "falling down a cavern", and not the "never seen again" part. but it could. be. both.
though! though. Clown has stated that if all the neighbors were to take on roles in Alice in Wonderland, Wally is the one who would be Alice. which follows his direct connection to the spiral/eye pit, and the phrase "down the rabbit hole". so it could be either or. it could be both! it could be neither! this is all speculation, which brings us to....
the end! we made it! i hope you're still carrying your Hefty grains of salt! soon you'll be able to fill a large chicken-shaped shaker with it all!
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tls123 · 2 months
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i wish more people in the orv tag remembered that kim dokja was already in his late teens when he started reading ways of survival
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thatonecrookedsmile · 12 days
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From the depths of the studio - where darkness prevails and the voices of the puddles grow louder - a message is echoed to the rest of the world. A promise filled with hatred and,at the same time,with conviction. Words coming from someone who was more than confident that their blasphemy would come true.
A message that is directed to one creature,and one creature only...
"I will become the very being You never could be"
----- "A Promise Sent from Below" - Return to the Studio AU.
Oh hey, I have an AU, I forgot about that (lie)
I've had a similar idea in my head for a month now. It wasn't possible to do it last month, but no problem. May would make more sense. I did something with this little guy for 414 last year, and I wanted to do something with him again. April 14th of this year would not be possible, but May 14th or 15th? Oh yes. These dates are better because it was between these two (actually it was the 14th I think, but I consider both dates) days that I created this guy above! Consider this drawing a celebration made for…well, me. Of course, he wasn't created with the design above in mind. His original, main design is quite different from this alternative (and less original) iteration. The drawing above shows his current situation in the "current" moments of the RTTS AU.
His creation, which dates back to 2020, was the result of some Bendy-related thoughts of mine intersecting on the day. These being about new things in canon lore that came out at the time (plus speculation about this new information), a theory that at the time I started to understand better (which maybe based on the drawing, you probably know which theory I'm talking about ) and a funny bug found in one of the games (do you remember Ghost Bendy by any chance?) And then,boom. I created Atlas. I remember at the time I was thinking of other names for him because Atlas was just a codename that I had in mind to refer to him while I thought of a definitive name for the guy. But the codename ended up sticking. Plus, Atlas is a cool name and I wanted to give an OC that name.
Even though some details changed over time, I think I eventually managed to solidify his place in the AU. Not that his story is 100% thought out and completed. Hell, my AUs that I have are still not 100% thought out either, so what to expect from their characters. But I think that, currently, I have at least decided on the general idea of his place and purpose in RTTS, and I am happy with what I have come up with.
I don't know when the next time will be that I will show him again. In general, showing things from my AUs is not and probably will never be my strong point lol. But I'd like to draw him again eventually. So uhhhhhhhhhhh, one day. When that "one day" will be, it's up to you to decide
Happy Birthday Atlas. You and your other 2 alternative versions are cool to think about. Here's to another 4 years of chaos for you. 🙌
I can't believe it's been 4 years now, damn.
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twocutlines · 22 days
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this may be an unpopular opinion but personally i think the thing i struggle with regarding the idea of buck and eddie having satisfying romantic arcs apart from each other is that it is possible for sure, but i don't really. see a way for it to happen without some kind of a shift in the relationship they have each other that moves away from the level of intimacy and closeness they have developed over the past six (6!) years.
because, like, obviously you can have meaningful platonic relationships outside of your romantic partner, but even though buck and eddie are not in a romantic relationship their whole deal is also... not platonic. the space that they occupy in each other's lives is. well. it goes beyond friendship (sorry). and as others have pointed out, part of the reason buck and eddie's past relationships (taylor, ana, etc) have felt so lackluster in comparison to their relationship with each other is simply because they just do not have the kind of emotional intimacy with anyone else that they have with each other – and i don't really think you can have it both ways. the relationship buck and eddie have on the show right now can't continue as it is if the goal is to have them both in well-developed, believable romantic relationships apart from each other; something would need to change.
and i mean. they could do this; it's not impossible. but i think would be a mistake, and not just because i think they have a good foundation for a romantic relationship (though i do) – so much of the story they've told with buck and eddie is about two people who were both very alone in different ways meeting and becoming an integral part of each other's lives, and the relationship they have with each other is a really compelling part of the show. so while having them grow apart from that relationship is technically possible, i don't think it would be a good or satisfying choice narratively
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jin-zixun · 1 month
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Being like "I don't think Su She is meant to be a foil for Lan Wangji" as if he's not *defined* in the story by being compared to Lan Wangji. Like how obvious can it get?
What more do you want him to do? Show up in a shadow mask wearing all black like he's the very concept of persona, the shadow self, literally predicting and mirroring all of lwj's moves to the point he's honestly unnerved by it but disappearing like he was never there the moment he's close enough to catch?
i mean that'd be a bit much don't you think?
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araneitela · 1 month
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Quick interruption: This may (somehow, still?) be a hot take, but I swear to all that is unholy and insane, I've been sitting on this salt about the TB and Kafka since like May of last year. This isn't going to be a long meta at all, but I do want to make something abundantly clear on this blog.
I know that people say the 'mommy' thing jokingly because they have the hots for her (listen, I understand the motivation, I just firmly hate the term), but I know some people actively still believe that Kafka is somehow related to the TB even if her story quest has since entirely debunked that claim and proved the opposite. Let me just, share this for a second:
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(source) Can we put this to rest now, pretty please? I'm too old and too tired for this, guys.
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moonfromearth · 7 months
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- You can't take these kinds of things lightly. Believe me. I've seen it all before.
Day 10 - The Detective "Thinks they know best, and the main cast hates them for this. They’re always poking around, checking things out. Typically they’re a blessing to The Final Girl, helping best the killer, or a curse, in which you’re happy to see them die."
from @windbrook's Slashed Challenge.
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pinkeoni · 10 months
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The UD is to Will as the RU is to El and the lab is to El what the RU is to Will. If that makes sense.
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area51-escapee · 1 year
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Begging true crime armchair detectives to understand that you are not Sherlock Holmes you are not special you will not solve the next big case you are doing nothing but putting misinformation out there and spreading harmful rumors and stereotypes. Real life and real tragedies are not murder mystery games you are actively harming people with your insane theories you are centering yourselves rather than the victims you are speaking over survivors and families and friends you are making up batshit insane lies just because you have a “feeling” and it’s not okay it’s not harmless it’s legitimately dangerous and heartless and it’s fucking disgusting how you refuse to see that
#I understand having an interest in true crime I understand wanting to follow certain cases#but having an internet connection does not give you to credentials and the ability to solve a case#and these are real people who deserve respect when you speak about them and there are families and survivors who ask for stories to be#shared to raise awareness#but making wild guesses and accusations is not spreading awareness#it’s attention seeking its clout chasing and its dangerous#it is not ‘suspicious’ that a women survived a massacre it’s a fucking /miracle/#and to begin placing doubt and blame and suspicion on her just to grab people’s attention and make the case sound ‘juicer’#is fucking appalling how fucking dare you#it’s happening with this case a tiktoker is getting rightfully sued for making wild accusations against a woman who was a complete stranger#to her#about a case she has absolutely nothing to do with#it happened with the gabby petito case#there were goddamn self proclaimed ‘psychics’ posting videos#claiming they could ~feel her spirit~#claiming she was absolutely alive or claiming she died this way and that and they knew for sure because they were ‘psychic’#I think people who claim to be psychic to prey on grieving families and draw attention from big cases are fucking disgusting#it happened here!!!! in my town!!!!!!!#a woman was kidnapped!!!!!#and instead of focusing on her and helping her everyone focused one one interview her boyfriend gave on the news#I saw this interview myself as it aired#and people online were claiming they knew for sure he absolutely did it it had to be him he HAD to be guilty#and while it’s true they often investigate the partner first in these cases#these armchair detectives were claiming he was just like Chris fucking watts#‘because he moved his arms a certain way’#because behavior analysis videos have poisoned people’s brains into seeing every blink every stretch every twitch as suspicious#the case was solved shortly later. he had absolutely nothing to do with it. this man lost his wife and child and was deemed guilty#by the Internet. because he raised his arms above his head in stress????#fuck off#it’s fucking gross
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welcometoteyvat · 1 month
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things they couldve demonstrated way better in hsr:
high cloud quintet lore
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exsqueezememacaroni · 2 months
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"Mike's relationship to sex, whatever it might actually be, is mostly the product of a geeky guy being catapulted right into the lion's den of rock music stardom, armed only with his good looks and awkward smile."
I understand your point, but I think this comes from before his fame in FNM, I believe he always had difficulty dealing with sex, if the rumors are true he lost his virginity "a bit late" (I don't think it's cool to judge each person's timing, but you understand), I believe it was when he was 19, and he himself said that it was because he finds sex a bit automatic and without much feeling, and I honestly don't think he was joking, I think he really thinks sex is a bit boring. I think that's it 😆 I always saw him as ace. but I believe that behind his thoughts regarding sex there must be deeper things that we don't know, because he is a mystery and never talks about his personal life, and 90% of what he says is banter, so we can't consider a lot of things he says... I don't think we'll ever know. Come here, Mike, tell us
I think we definitely agree - I suppose what I meant was that, without stardom, Mike would have just quietly and privately had a slightly awkward and maybe later blooming/later developing relationship to sex...like so many people do (I think??). For sure I think his younger self might not have seen the point to [vanilla] sex, maybe in a natural predilection for kink. And i guess that's where my gray-ace interpretation comes in...like...he's into it, but it's gotta be the right connection, the right person, similar "interests" if you get my drift....and those who qualify are few and far between. Otherwise, meh. But since he is in the public eye, it kind of gives him free range to be over the top sexual...in a strange way it can free him from being a vanilla hearthrob while also protecting(???) him from the normal groupie scene...like....chanting "fuck me" and asking if your mom wants to fuck you before singing about being raped in prison like...he might have thought....that'll keep the masses away....(lol he was wrong)
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hella1975 · 10 months
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im due on and not in the mood for much of anything but of course there are stepladders that must be painted
#my mum doesnt half pull chores out her arse sometimes like what. no ofc that's a thing that needs doing#like okay tbh i LOVE the way my mum decorates it's something i rave about to all my friends bc im genuinely very proud of her and our house#bc basically my mum has an interior design degree and generally has an Eye for decorating like she's just Good at it#but she never ever ever spends loads of money if ANY when she can help it#put me in any room in our house and i can point at all the furniture and tell you some dumb story about it#'my mum's cousin sold that sofa to her for a fiver' 'she literally pulled that dining set from someone's skip' etc#like everything is always aquired for free or bc of some niche 'i know a guy' connection or she paid pennies for it#and then either me my mum or my sister will sand it down and paint it ourselves and it always looks amazing when it's done#like ive said to my mum before she could probs start a business with it bc she does it to such a professional standard#so it's given me and my sister not only a real respect for DIY and second hand and generally not spending extortionate amounts#but it's also given us handy skills like painting and sanding and glossing etc etc#and ive always loved that about my mum like she doesnt NEED to be doing this anymore like she has the money now to buy things new#but she just doesnt she genuinely prefers doing stuff like this and having furniture that has a story behind it etc and i love that#but my GOD is it annoying when we're doing it like i HATE painting it's sooooo dull#and when im due on and cant be arsed to do ANYTHING let alone chores this is just. nail in coffin#AITA my thrifty aesthetic is making my daughter contemplate offences against the person via stepladder#hella goes home
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noisytenant · 1 year
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I feel like just telling people “consume less childrens media/YA fiction/etc” is missing the point.
A narrow, sheltered perspective on the world and its politics is what causes stupid discourse, and the simplified world of entertainment media attracts people with this mindset.
Having any kind of media as the dominant lens through which you socialize and interact with the world will leave you sidelined from reality, whether your energy is devoted to complex literature or a tv show for toddlers.
Children’s media and their fans make for easy targets because the disproportionate scale of discourse to depth is more visible, but focusing on the kind of media as the main problem seems to me similarly detached from reality. The problem is the attitude. And telling someone who clings to any kind of media as a tenuous connection to others that they’ve wasted their time isn’t really going to change their mind.
So, like, do you actually have any intention of challenging this kind of attitude, or are you just trying to feel superior to someone else?
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gaystardykeco · 10 months
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not ready to go back to work tomorrow but luckily im so not ready that my brain isn't letting it fully process and so im just kind of numb except for little moments when the panic breaks through again
#feeling more and more like a robot and less and less like a person the emptier my life gets#the future is so empty like its just work and isolation forever#i have one thing left at the end of this week and then after that its just work and family and alone#and i think numbing out completely is really the only way ill be able to cope at all#i didnt used to really be able to do that but maybe now im to the point where i just have to so its become an option#idk i also might just be lying to myself and be about to get hit really hard with how bad this all is tomorrow#job interview friday. but plausibly i dont think i can take the job even if i get it bc i just dont think i can move to nyc#i just feel like ive hit a dead end#like i was a side character in someone elses story and that person has moved on so im just like floating in stasis#bc my part of the story is over i wrote myself out of their lives so i don't really exist anymore#idk my brain is telling me all these things that i know are silly but feel so true and i just am tired and empty#sorry to be dramatic and complain again just dreading work so bad#i just dont see any path forward thats not this forever loop like i cant make or have real connections with other ppl#and thats whats supposed to make a life real and worth living#but ive never had the capacity to connect right and ive never had passion for anything and ive never been able to really love and be loved#and i dont know how to fix any of it bc honestly i dont think any of its fixable#ill always be an emotionally harmful drain on anyone i think i love and ill always be left when they realize that#and then ive just hurt another person and i dont want to be a person that just hurts people so i cant be around people anymore#but its so empty and its so lonely and i hate myself so fucking much#anyway. i sound like a pathetic whiny teenager lmao sorry i know how stupid it all is i promise
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imwritesometimes · 5 months
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I've seen like maybe 20 mins of Centurion (2010) and it's so obviously just a cheap, less eloquent, less beautiful, more cheesy gorey version of The Eagle which is wild considering The Egale came out a year later........
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