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skiller0dani · 3 years

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Bad Girl| Ethan Nestor

MASTERLIST YouTube Masterlist

smut requested requests info

hey guys it's been a while! Got this amazing request recently and I had to write it asap. love you all xx

Ethan didn't have many rules for you, but the most important one by far was to not bother him while he's streaming.

With the two of you keeping your relationship a secret there's just too much that can go wrong. He's live so if you came into the room, people could hear, rumors could start. More than anything Ethan wants to protect you so you coming into his recording room while he's streaming is completely out of the question. Normally you respected this rule without question, it was his YouTube channel after all, so he got to call the shots. More than that however, Ethan called the shots in other aspects of your life.

When it came to the sex, he called the shots in that too. But you always did what he said, and frankly, you felt like being a bad girl.

All day you've needed him, from the very second you woke up and the gentle morning sex he'd provided wasn't nearly enough to satiate you. You still felt that uncomfortable throbbing from between your thighs, and it lingered for most of the day. Any attempt you made to get his cock resulted in a soft kiss on the head and a "sorry baby I'm too busy today."

You laid back on the couch, irked to all hell. How could Ethan not see that he was depriving you? You pushed the heel of your hands into your eyes and groaned, your pussy was damp and aching and there wasn't a damn thing you could do about it. Spencer sat happily at your feet chewing on a squeaky bone. At least one of you was happy.

You heard Ethan laugh from inside his recording room, he was currently streaming Among Us. You feel so frustrated you want to cry and when you glance at the clock you feel like crying all over again. It's only 1:30, and Ethan is only 20 minutes into his stream. Meaning at this rate Ethan won't be able to help you until later tonight. You whined to yourself, snaking your hand under the sleep shorts you were wearing. Your fingers found your clit and you began to rub small circles just like Ethan does. It does little to nothing to relieve the pounding in your core. Only Ethan can.

You stand from your spot on the couch to go grab a bottle of water, hoping that some cold water will help calm you down. You lean against the counter, sipping at the cold water when you remember the night before. Ethan had come home from filming with someone he doesn't know very well. The recording session was frustrating and he hadn't gotten any good footage, meaning the entire day was a giant waste of time. By the time Ethan had gotten back to the house he was beyond frustrated and the first thing he did was bend you over the kitchen counter and slam into you mercilessly. You feel a shudder run down your spine at the memory and you groan softly in annoyance. You're not going to survive the day like this.

You went upstairs and into your shared room with Ethan and sat on the edge of the bed, you're always such a good girl. You followed every rule and every command without too much complaint. And today Ethan told you to wait. His rule today was to be a good girl and wait for his cock until that night. But damnit you're so turned on right now you feel like you're going to combust into flames.

You don't want to be a good girl today. You feel like breaking the rules.

With a smirk you stand from the bed and creep down the hallway, nearing his recording room. Once you're stood outside the door you feel a rush of adrenaline rush through you, you've never broken this rule before. In all 12 months of your relationship with Ethan, you've never interrupted him while he's live streaming. You almost turn back but when you hear Ethan groan in annoyance it sends tingles down your spine and a fresh wave of arousal dampening your panties. Gritting your teeth you quietly open the door and watch as Ethan's surprised eyes flicker to you for a second.

You bite your lip and sink to the floor, luckily Ethan's desk doesn't have a back so you easily crawl underneath it.

Being careful not to bump the desk you slowly crawl in between Ethan's legs, and he instinctively spreads his legs wider for you. When he glances back down at you, you feel heat rush through your entire body at the angry look in his eyes. He raises a warning brow before turning back to the game and for a second you consider leaving, but the pulsing from between your legs stops you. You bite your lip and reach forward, carefully unbuttoning Ethan’s jeans and slowly pulling his zipper down.

Ethan tenses, his heart hammering in his chest as he does his best to act natural. This isn’t a regular video, he can’t edit anything out. This is being broadcasted live to nearly a million people. When he feels your dainty hands reaching into his jeans he sucks in a breath through his teeth.

“Ethan you okay?” Bob asks, unfortunately for Ethan they decided to play Among Us with proximity chat on. Ethan clears his throat, “yeah stubbed my toe.” He lies but he knows it doesn’t sound very convincing.

You wrap your hand around his hardening cock and you nearly moan when you finally free it from his jeans. The sight of it makes you even more wet then you were before, it’s hard and precumming. It’s beautiful. You lean forward instantly and wrap your lips around the head, sucking softly. Ethan clenches his jaw as he focuses all of his attention on the game in front of him. He keeps his eyes firmly on the screen because he knows if he looks at you it’s game over. Ethan would end the stream and have you bent over this desk in less than 30 seconds if he saw the beautiful sight happening under the desk.

You keep your lips wrapped around him as you suddenly take all of him in your mouth. Ethan gasps softly in surprise, and this is when he notices the comments on his stream.

Ethan flashes a smile to the camera, doing his best to pretend he doesn’t notice that every single comment is about him and not about the game. Embarrassment floods through Ethan’s body as he keeps his eyes on his monitor. You continue to slide him down your throat, and Ethan’s eyes briefly flutter shut. When one comment pops up, Ethan panics.

what’s wrong Ethan??? he looks like he’s in pain someone should tell the other people on the stream bc ethan does not look okay right now ethan are you okay?

Shit. Ethan continues to ignore the comments, when did his fan base become little detectives? You bob your head down the full length of his cock, taking him into your mouth fully. It’s becoming increasingly harder to keep the sounds quiet so that nobody notices. When you swallow around him Ethan groans softly, “fuck.”

does eef have a girl over?? ;) omg ethan’s totally getting sucked off rn ngl ethan looks super fucking hot

“Ethan?” This time it’s Mark. You pull off Ethan and smirk as you pump his cock with your hand. The arousal is coating your thighs at this point and you nearly moan out loud just thinking about what Ethan is going to do to you after this.

“Ethan I’m getting some pretty interesting comments on my stream about you,” Jack says with a teasing tone to his voice. Ethan remains quiet, he doesn’t trust himself to say anything casually. “Got some company Ethan?” Jack says causing a chorus of laughter to ensue afterwards while everyone waits for another round to start. “His silence is...suspicious.” Steven adds through the laughter.

Unable to focus any longer, Ethan releases a breath he’d been holding as he finally glances down at you. The sight before him stops him cold, you’re sitting on your knees with his cock in your mouth. Your breasts are spilling from the tight tank top you’re wearing and he can see the damp spot forming on the crotch of your shorts. His pupils blow wide as he quickly ends the stream and turns off the camera. The second he’s sure everything is shut off he pushes back from the desk and yanks you to your feet.

“You think that was funny?” Ethan growls when he sees the smirk on your face. In an instant Ethan has you pulled over his lap, “you think it was funny to suck my cock when I was live? I can’t cover any of that up baby.” Ethan says, his voice low as his hands find the waistband of your shorts.

“I need you.” You whined as he yanked your shorts down. Ethan hummed in satisfaction once he sees your glistening pussy. “Yes I can see that.” He hums, spreading your lips apart so he can look at you better.

“I just fucked you this morning baby girl, you couldn’t wait? I’m pretty sure I told you to wait until tonight.” He says, the dominance beginning to seep into his tone. You moaned in delight when you feel Ethan spank you hard. “I couldn’t wait Ethan, I needed you now.” You explain, with a pout on your face.

“Now all my friends know what a dirty girl you are, and now so do all my fans as well. We aren’t going to be a secret anymore baby, you just outed us.” Ethan explains, his fingertips brushing through your folds. You whine desperately as you try to grind back into his hand, but he pulls away. “It was time baby, oh my god Ethan please just fuck me please.” You plead shamelessly.

Ethan continues to rub the globes of your ass as you moan and wriggle in his lap, “hm I’m not sure you deserve it now baby. You didn’t listen to me, I’m not sure you deserve my cock anymore.” He says, a small smirk on his face when he sees the look of pure desperation cross onto your face. “No Ethan please, I’ll listen now. I-I will I promise baby!” Ethan taps on your hip, signaling you to stand. Once your stood in front of him you moan again, you’ve never seen him look sexier then he does right now.

His hair is messy and his chest his heaving, but the best part is between his legs. His cock is hard and his legs are spread wide, and the heated look Ethan is giving you makes you want to melt into the floor. “Go wait for me in our room.” Is all Ethan says, and you immediately scramble out of the room and down to hall to yours and Ethan’s bedroom. You sit on the bed and anxiously wait for him, your entire body buzzing in anticipation. When 10 agonizing minutes pass Ethan finally opens the door, his jeans still opened. “I’ve thought of a fitting punishment for you Princess.”

Ethan walks to his side of the bed before sitting down, pulling you to stand in front of him. “Since you don’t seem to like my rules, why don’t you be in charge then baby?” Your heart sinks, and you immediately shake your head.

“But I love it when you’re in control, I love following your rules.” You argue but Ethan shakes his head with a teasing smile on his face.

“I seem to have lost my authority, you don’t listen to me anymore baby. So you try being in charge, tell me what to do.” Ethan reaches forward and yanks you towards him. You fall against his chest, your lips a hairs length from him, “boss me around.” He whispers and you swallow a thick lump in your throat. You stand again, feeling anxious and unsure of what to do. Normally Ethan tells you what to do, but he just relinquished all control to you and you already hate it.

Ethan watches with knowing eyes, he knows already that you have no idea what to do. “Well? What do you want me to do baby?” Ethan asks, watching the blush crawl up your neck and tint the edges of your ears. You tremble, “um...I-” you feel your throat close as tears well in your eyes. In a second Ethan is pulling you into his arms, smoothing your hair down and pressing kisses to your head. You melt into his embrace while he mumbles loving words into your hair. “I’m sorry baby I didn’t mean to upset you.” Ethan whispers, pressing soft kisses to your head.

“Is that how you felt on the stream? Embarrassed?” You ask hesitantly and to your dismay, Ethan nods.

“Kinda, but it’s okay baby.” You lean up to press a kiss to his lips.

“I’ve learned my lesson, I promise. I know why you make those rules now.” You say softly and Ethan brushes hair out of your face with a small smile. “Can you be in charge again?” Instead of answering Ethan flashes you a smile before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Lay down baby.” In an instant the heat floods through your body again as you scramble to lay down on the bed. Ethan stands and swiftly yanks his shirt over his head, and motions for you to do the same. Sitting up you quickly pull your shirt off, watching as Ethan kicks his jeans and boxers off as well. Ethan hovers over you, and you feel his cock nudging at your entrance and in an instant you spread your legs wider for him. Ethan slides just the head of his cock into you and he stills. You wriggle your hips, “Ethan please,” You beg in a gasp.

Cupping your cheeks, Ethan turns your head to look him in the eyes. “No more bothering me while I’m live got it?” He says and you nod instantaneously. With one sharp thrust, Ethan slides the rest of the way in and both of you release a moan. Pressing his lips to yours he begins to thrust into you and you feel the heat building already. You wrap your legs around him, locking your ankles behind his back as he slowly picks up speed. Ethan pulls out, “bend over.” He gasps and you move to bend over the bed, already missing the stretch his cock provided. As soon as you’re bent over in front of him, Ethan grasps your hips and thrusts back into you.

Your face is pressed into the bed as you cry out softly, Ethan slamming into you again and again. “Fucking took my dick in your mouth in front of the entire world, you’re lucky they only saw me. If anyone else saw how beautiful you look with a cock in your mouth I think I’d lose my mind.” Ethan growls and you can only moan in response as your fists twist the sheets in your hands. You feel the coil in your abdomen winding tighter and tighter and when Ethan reaches around your body to softly pinch your clit you’re crying out and convulsing around him, leading him to his orgasm as well. You collapse against the bed and Ethan rubs a hand up and down your back before gently pulling out with a wince.

He helps you into bed and lays down next to you, pulling your bare body against his chest. “I’m sorry I embarrassed you.” You say softly, but Ethan merely presses a kiss to your lips.

“Only a little, I couldn’t be bothered too much I mean you were sucking my dick. Doesn’t get better than that.” Ethan shrugs, causing you to blush. You sit up when Ethan stands from the bed, reaching around for his clothes.

“Now if your unusually high sex drive has been fully satisfied, I have some explaining to do.” Ethan teases, causing you to giggle. With a kiss to your sweaty forehead Ethan is exiting the room, and you lay back against the bed with the widest smile stretched across your face.

#ethan nestor #ethan nestor imagine #ethan nestor smut #crankgameplays imagine #crankgameplays #youtube #youtuber smut #under the desk

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bakustark · 3 years

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Always and Forever | Hermes x Reader

—for @yaya4302

warning(s): nsfw, mild angst, conflict, arguments, mild Hera and Zeus bashing bc they were both wrong, soft Hermes, Goddess Reader, vaginal sex, anal fingering, mild voyeurism, ambiguous ending, etc.

She let out a long sigh, rubbing the bridge of her nose as she watched lightning flash in the dark clouds above, followed by the rumbling thunder that portrayed Zeus’ anger. She paced back and forth in front of the large window, muttering to herself. A sudden breeze made her hair sway and she turned to see her lover walking into her chambers, removing his helmet with a concerned expression on his face.

“How are you?” Hermes asked in a hushed voice once he’d reached her side, trailing his fingertips along her arm and taking her hand in his to press a kiss upon her knuckles. The arrival of Zeus’ youngest son had caused quite a riot, the gods were in disarray and each of them were taking sides.

She cupped the side of his face, running the pad of her thumb along his bottom lip and taking in his stunning features. “Hera has offered me to join her.” She said in reply after a moment.

His blue eyes grew wide, and his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed harshly. “And what did you say?” Hermes queried, something like dread making his voice shake ever so slightly.

Guilt weighed her down and she looked away from him, “I told her I would think about it.” Hermes pulled away from her as if burned, saying her name in alarm with hurt etched on his face. She raised her hands to calm him, stepping closer, “Please just listen to me, my love! You saw the chaos Heron’s arrival unleashed, the total loss of order amongst the gods—”

“So you’ll kill my father and everyone who sides with him to restore that order?” Hermes interjected, his voice growing louder.

She stared at him, startled, “No! Of course not!” She exclaimed. Yes — as a goddess of diplomacy — she wanted order, but the last thing she wanted was more bloodshed. She racked her fingers through her hair, “There’s no good side here.” She continued, shaking her head. “Zeus made another mistake, yes, but Hera had no right to go after his son and that innocent woman!”

“If you refuse, she’ll kill you,” Hermes began, moving closer to her. “And if you go with her, Hera will make you kill me.”

She cupped his face in her hands and grinned humorlessly, “As I said, there’s no good side. We are stuck.” She stroked his cheeks, looking into his eyes. “But I promised I would stay by your side, did I not? Always and forever, darling.”

Hermes sighed softly, taking her chin between his fingers, “Always and forever.” He repeated, and pressed his lips against hers.

It was a desperate thing, his arms drawing her closer as she worked in letting his hair loose. He kissed her like it would be the last time, like he was dying and she was the only cure, tracing the seam of her lips with his tongue. She let his long brown hair fall over his shoulders, parting her lips to meet his tongue with her own while guiding him to the bed in the room.

Their hands made quick work of each other’s armor and clothing, the articles making a trail on the floor that led to the large bed. Hermes let himself fall down on the soft surface, pulling her onto his lap as he suckled on her tongue. She moaned into his mouth, tangling her fingers into his soft hair and grinding her wet slit against the throbbing flesh of his erection.

Hermes groaned, pulling away from her lips to look down as he sheathed himself inside her walls. He let out another strangled noise at the sight of his cock disappearing within his lover until his balls were pressed against her, slick dripping down his length to make a mess of the sheets. She let out a breath, pressing her cheek against the crown of his head as she adjusted to the sudden stretch.

She rolled her hips experimentally, pleasure shooting up her spine as her engorged clit ground against his pelvis. Hermes tightened his arms around her and cursed under his breath, shuddering. She smiled to herself and tilted his head up to capture his lips in a chaste kiss, giving another purposeful grind that had him moaning into her mouth.

Her lover rolled them over, pushing her onto her back and leaning on his forearms. She ran her hands over the expanse of his muscled back, lightly dragging her nails across his skin. Goosebumps rose on his flesh and the thrusts of his hips quickened, his cock sinking into her walls time and time again with a wet schlick schlick schlick that only got louder. She wrapped her legs around his hips, digging her heels into his lower back and squeezing the firm globes of his ass to push him even deeper inside her.

Hermes disconnected their lips with a lewd pop, thick strings of saliva breaking apart as they moaned at the new angle, her walls fluttering around his throbbing shaft as the blunt head of his cock nudged against the spot that made her see stars. He ducked his head, mouthing and suckling at the column of her throat while sneaking a hand between them to rub circles on her clit. She threw her head back with a soft groan, her hair splayed on the pillows under her like a halo.

His hips stuttered in their rhythm, growing more erratic and forceful. A devious idea popped into her mind and she gathered some of the copious slick oozing from the tight seal of his cock driving into her cunt, coating her fingers with it. She caught her bottom lip between her teeth as she teased the little pucker between his cheeks with the pad of her fingers briefly before sinking her index finger to the knuckle. Hermes raised his head from her neck, his back arching as his mouth dropped open with a loud cry and his arms trembled from the effort of holding himself up. She pecked his cheek with a soft laugh, a second finger joining the first.

She matched the frantic thrusting of his hips with her fingers, curling and spreading them until she came across the little bulb of tissue she had been looking for. She grinned against the curve of his jaw, aiming for that spot over and over again as her lover moaned and cried out. He let out something that sounded like a strangled sob of frustration and his own fingers, rubbing against her clit, became a blur.

Her legs trembled and she moaned into his ear, suckling a dark bruise into the skin behind his earlobe. “Are you close, baby?” She asked breathlessly, feeling him tighten around her fingers. Hermes could only nod, unable to reply through his constant moans while thrusting even harder against her. “Then do it, come for me, Hermes. Come inside me.”

She pressed her fingers against his prostate one last time and he cried out, burying himself to the root and painting her insides with his cum while his walls clamped down on her digits. The coil in her abdomen finally snapped, her eyes falling shut and her toes curling as she moaned in pleasure, milking him for all he was worth. Unable to hold himself up as he trembled, Hermes fell on top of her, resting his head on her breasts while they attempted to catch their breath.

He wrapped his arms around her, pressing his ear against her chest to hear the thrumming of her racing heart. She combed his damp locks away from his face, sliding her fingers out of him and wiping the slick off on a corner of the sheets. “I love you,” Hermes murmured, rubbing absentminded circles on her hip.

“As I you,” She replied, pecking his forehead while keeping eye contact with the crow watching them hatefully from the windowsill, “Always and forever.”

#request #blood of zeus #blood of zeus x reader #hermes #hermes x reader #goddess reader #greek gods #greek mythology #n/s/f/w #hera #zeus

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marvelous-imagines · 4 years

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Still loving you

Johnny Lawrence x reader

Request: Awesome! If I may submit 2, 1) where reader likes Johnny, and Johnny is going back and forth with Daniel bc of Allie, and reader breaks it off with Johnny and angst then they get back together. (it's hardly anything like the request and I just realized that and I'm so sorry)

Warnings: mild language. Angst. Fluff at the end!

@jojosgirlkat1dluvr

You Was Seated at a booth with your boyfriend Johnny and his friends at a dinner, listening to them joke around and and just talk about how their karate training went today. You was seated beside Johnny who had a arm wrapped around you, his red cobra Kai jacket on you as you leaned into his side.

"God the waitress is hot, I'm gonna ask her for her number next time she comes around" Bobby, one of Johnny's friends said, causing the rest of the gang to laugh at him.

"she's twice you're age idiot, she's not going to" johnny laughed out, eating a French fry off your plate which makes you swat his hand away playfully.

"oh yeah? 20 bucks says I can?" the boy bets, making you shake your head at him.

"you're honestly betting on it?" you lift a brow at him, shaking your head. Tommy throws 20 dollars on the table causing the rest to do the same.

"if she gives you her number you're not only winning this money, but my respect Bobby" Dutch tells him. You roll your eyes at the boys and finish up your food. After a few minutes the waitress came back to hand you your bill, which Johnny payed for, and you nearly choked on air when Bobby give the older woman a smirk while leaning back in his seat.

"hey babe, I was wondering if maybe I could get you're number?" he said confidently, looking the woman up and down. She scoffs and shows him a ring on her finger.

"I'm married asshole, the only thing you're grabbing is a ride out of here" she growls while stomping away. Everyone at the table burst out laughing, including yourself. Bobby flips you all off and stands up. Causing everyone to follow him out the door.

"you really know how to speak to the ladies Bobby" Tommy laughed, slapping him on the back as you all walked outside into the night air. Johnny still having a arm slung around you pulls you closer. But you can feel him tense up, looking up at him your about to question him what's wrong, but then you see his eyes focused on the new kid larusso and Johnny's ex girlfriend ali.

You couldn't help but feel a bit jealous, you knew he still felt a little something for the girl. He always gave her lingering glances, his eyes lighting up with anger when the larusso boy hangs around her.

It made you feel a little pinge of hurt whenever you would catch him staring at them, especially since you and him has been dating for nearly a week or two now, you feel so in love with the boy, he was so sweet towards you, funny and loving person. And he was so handsome, any woman would kill just to be in your position, having Johnny Lawrence have his arm around them. But you didn't feel as lucky when he looked at ali...

"look at that loser, who the hell does he think he is strutting around here?" johnny seethes while looking at the two, watching how Daniel put his arm around ali. But poor Daniel stops in his tracks like a deer caught in headlights when he sees Johnny and his gang.

"oh no...." Daniel muttered, "maybe we should go..." he looks to ali. But Johnny, pulling his arm away from you stops him from moving by pushing his shoulder, causing Daniel to stumble back some.

"where do you think you're loser?" johnny asks with a smirk, the anger in his blue eye's caused you to give Johnny a confused yet angered look.

"don't be mean to the poor kid Johnny, let's just go" you said trying to get him to leave the boy alone. But he doesn't listen, Johnny's friends watching this go down with snickers and chuckles like it was funny. But for you, it was far from it.

"look man, I don't want any trouble I'm just trying to grab something to eat with my -

"you think I'm gonna let you get away with what you done larusso?" johnny questions while pushing Daniel back again.

"johnny stop being such a jerk and just let us be" ali spoke while standing behind Daniel.

"yeah Johnny let's just go please?" you say but Johnny only scoffs at you.

"and let this loser -

"johnny please?" you whisper, placing a hand on his shoulder trying to get him to calm down. But he doesn't even pay attention to you.

"I don't wanna fight man, but I will if you don't back off" Daniel says in defense, causing Johnny to laugh at him mockingly. You feeling anger bubbling up inside you at how childish your boyfriend was acting.

"did you hear that boys? Larusso thinks he can beat us!" johnny snickers, but Daniel shakes his head.

"just let us go prick"

"who you calling prick loser!" johnny grabs Daniels jacket and ali grabs Daniel while you push Johnny back, his glare falling on you.

"leave him alone Johnny! God you're acting like such a child! Picking on someone so - so innocent!" you say, face flushed with anger. Johnny rolls his eyes and looks away from you.

"so what? You're taking his side now?" he asks, venom dripping from his voice. You scoff, watching how he glares at the ground, jaw tense and fist clenched. "is he taking you to? Stealing you away from me like he did ali?" he questioned with the same harsh tone.

You feel a wave of shock and disappointment wash over you. "why would you even think that? For one thing he never stole ali Johnny, she broke up with you! And another I'd -

"then what the hell do you call that!" he points at ali and Johnny, ali holding Daniel back as he glared at your boyfriend. You feel a wave of fresh anger and glare at Johnny.

"of you can't stop being such a asshole then I'm leaving you Johnny! So you can choose right now, either leave them alone or I'm leaving" you state, crossing your arms. You expected Johnny to calm down, to wrap his arms around you as his tough guy facade washes away for a split second to keep you with him. But you was wrong, instead he let's out a un-amused chuckle.

"go then! See if I care! All you do is nag me over stupid shit like this!" he motioned toward the fight, his once blue loving eyes cold and heartless. You feel hot tears filling your eyes as your bottom lip trembles. You only stare at him hoping he would realize what he said and take it back. But he doesn't, he only gives you a glare.

"okay then, I guess that's that..." you muttered, tears falling from your eye's as you push past him and leave him standing there with his friends, Daniel and Ali.

You walked home that night, heart broken into a million peices. You had thought Johnny was different, that he was the sweet heart of a man whenever you both started dating, the sweet things he would say to you, the way he couldn't stand not holding your hand every second. You thought his soft kisses and exclaims of love for you was genuine, that he actually loved holding you close to him, loved you...

But now you know that was all a lie, the Johnny you thought you knew was just a dream you couldn't even have... Once you was home you laid in bed and cried, the pain of knowing that Johnny didn't love you hurt, the feelings you felt for him apparently unrequited.

The next morning at school was unbearable, seeing him laugh and joke around with his friends as if nothing ever happened, as if he didn't end things with you. But the next few other days was worse, so bad you skipped a day of school, that day being today. You was laid in bed just reading a magazine when your phone rings, ignoring it you continued reading the dumb magazine in hopes of taking your mind of things, but the phones insistent ringing forced you to throw the magazine down and reach over your bed to grab the ringing phone off your bed side table.

"hello?" you grumbled into the phone, but you feel your heart drop, the dark cloud of sadness you've pushed away for the day came right back.

"hey y/n, I know you really don't -

You hung up on Johnny, tears swimming in your eye's. His voice sounded glum, cracking slightly as if he was on the verge of tears. But you knew he wasn't, at least that's what you thought. Because over these past week he seemed happy without you.

Just as you was about to pick the magazine back up the phone rings again, this time you wipe your eyes harshly and pick the phone up.

"look Johnny I -

"it's Bobby, and before you hang up I wanted to let you know that Johnny has been a absolute mess without you... He hasn't been showing up to training at the dojo lately, he's skipping school and he won't even barely talk to us..." he explained, and even though you wanted to forgive Johnny, you knew that it should be in person.

"if he really wants to fix things tell him to meet me at the dinner..." you muttered while playing with the phones curly cord.

"what time?" Bobby sounded relieved and happy. You let a small smile grace your face.

"tomorrow evening at 3pm" you said, hearing Bobby bid you goodnight before hanging up.

You sigh and laid down on your bed, wondering if forgiving would be the right decision. Or if not forgiving him was the wrong....

The diner was full, friends laughing at one another, family having a great time. And then there was you, waiting at a booth by the window alone. It was nearing 3pm, but Johnny was nowhere to be seen. You sigh and can't help but feel slightly disappointed by his absence, you thought he'd actually missed you, regretted his decision that unfortunate night outside this diner.

Looking down at your watch you see Johnny was already two minutes late, sighing your ready to stand up, deciding Johnny needed some time to gather his thoughts...

But you sat back down when you spot Johnny walk through the doors, blond hair a mess atop his head, black cloth that's usually tied around his head gone. He wore a faded old t-shirt and jeans, his blue eye's holding a glum glow about them as he looks up and spots you, quick to stride over and slip into the empty booth with you. You give him a emotionless expression as he opted for gazing out the window.

"penny for you're thoughts?" you asked harsher then meant to. But Johnny looks at you, big blue eye's holding nothing but regrets.

"I - I'm sorry for what happened that night... I was wrong for saying what I did... For pushing you away -

"being a big jerk?" you added to the list. He nods and looks back out the window with a deep sigh.

"I miss you y/n... Please just - forgive me" he whispers, voice holding a genuine hurt tone to it. You sigh looking over Johnny's face, taking in how miserable his eyes are, showing the misery he truly was in over this past week. Reaching over the table and grabbing ahold of his hand you give him a gentle squeeze, causing him to look up with a hopeful glint.

"as much as I hate how you was doing Daniel that night... I suppose I forgive you" you muttered, his face lighting up as he tries to say something but you cut him off "if we start dating again I expect you to leave Daniel and Ali alone Johnny" you explain, giving him a pleading look, begging for him to at least listen to you, promise you.

"okay, done. But if he starts it I'm not letting the little prick walk all over me y/n" he tells you with a serious look. Which causes you to roll your eyes.

"only if he starts it and throws the first punch" you confirmed with a small little smile. Johnny squeezes your hand that he held in yours atop the table as he gives you a little smile of his own.

"and one last thing to discuss..." you trail off, looking away from his concerned and confused eyes.

"what is it?" he swallowed thickly, worried by the look in your eye, how you looked afraid, hurt and skeptical.

"stop making me feel like I'm only just you're friend... I see how you look at ali, the only reason you hate Daniel so bad is because he - what you claim, stole her away from you..." you struggle to look at him, knowing your insecurities was starting to boil over the top. "I know she's prettier and -

"y/n you're the most beautiful woman I've ever lied eyes on, if you even for a moment think I'd ever leave you for ali your wrong. I love you, more than anything and nothings gonna change that" he interrupted your train on insecure thoughts. You feel your heart skip a beat and melting at his words, the way he gazed at you with love and truth, a genuine smile on his face as he let his eyes roam every detail and feature about you.

"johnny - I love you too..." you stuttered as you felt a wave of emotions hit you. Causing tears of happiness to form in your eye's. Johnny let's a little smile tug at his lips as he leaned closer, halfway across the table to cup your cheek.

"I know ya do babe, and like I said before, I love you more" he gives you a quick peck on the lips before bringing your hand up to his lips placing a lingering kiss to your knuckles. Heart fluttering at his sweet little kisses.

That day in the diner you and Johnny sit and talked for hours, his eyes on you never leaving once. He regretted the night he had hurt you and pushed you away, but he knew that if he kept his promises to you that nothing could ever keep you both apart.

A/n: here it is! I hope it isn't as bad as I believe it to be lol, it was rushed. I've been incredibly busy with work and have hardly any time to myself lately!, but here's this and then I'll work on the other one!

#johnny lawrence #johnny lawrence x reader #johnny lawrence imagine #cobra kai #daniel larusso #Daniel larusso x reader #Daniel larusso imagine #the karate kid #william zabka #ralph macchio

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slightlymore · 4 years

Text

Pride | Part 8 [The End]

Pairing: Doyoung, Y/N Other characters: Haechan, Johnny cameo Genre: Series | Smut | Angst | Crack | Fluff Warnings: as usual, language, same issues around mental health and unhealthy coping mechanisms, angsty, hard hitting family drama Words: 10K lol idk I wanted to write more bc it feels a little rushed but then it would drag too much

Okay so I did write this while severely sleep-deprived lol (please get enough sleep, don’t do what I do) so it might be all over the place anyways, when I started Pride I had no idea I would write so many parts, and that it would have been so angsty honk honk tell me if you liked the ending or not and I would love to hear what your overall thoughts on this series are (it’s fine even if it’s like “it sucked aha”) thank you for reading it, I appreciate your love and support a lot!! very many heart emojis here that I can’t do on the laptop, insert also sad clown emoji

TIME JUMPS EXPLANATION

Endind scene commentary

Doyoung has always regretted the things he had done wrong, when he was feeling weak, or imperfect, or exhausted. He would think about those moments and learn the same thing all over. Never again. And he lived with that mantra for a long time. Never again. Don’t slip, don’t let yourself go. Because it was painful.

But was it effectively painful as is, or was it only because he knew he shouldn’t have done that in the first place? Would it have been painful if he consciously let himself go? Was he feeling guilty for the mistake or for not being perfect? And at night, while breathing in and silently screaming his desire to be fragile, to break, to show people his soft imperfect soul he would think about that again and again. He appreciated that in other people a lot. Why would other people hate it in him? Why has he hated himself for such a long time? It is a denial of the inevitable. Just accept yourself, Doyoung. Accept yourself. Accept. And he thought he did it. Doyoung was sure he did it all. But as the first rays of sun hit his trembling eyelids, he already forgot. He opened up his eyes and looked at his ceiling, not remembering a single thing he told himself in the intimacy of the night.

_____

When the phone rang for the first time, you jolted on your seat, staring it down as if it was some kind of poisonous reptile.

God, you hated speaking on the phone.

When it rang again your eyes darted around you looking at the way your desk neighbors were judging you for taking so long to pick it up.

You breathed in and out.

“Y/N from Marketing speaking?” you mumbled into it. “Pizza or noodles?” a lazy but confident voice asked. You blinked, silent for a few moments, and looked around as if checking what was going on. “Who is this?” you whispered. A loud snort made you wince and remove the receiver from your ear. “-can’t believe you don’t recognize the voice of the best boy, the light of your life, the reason of your existence, the spawn of god, the joy of your miserable-,” the voice said when you listened to it again.

You closed your eyes and pinched the base of your nose. “Haechan,” you interrupted the litany, suddenly aware of the migraine lingering in the darkest part of your head. “So, pizza or noodles?” he chuckled satisfied.

It was pizza, and as you sat down for lunch you curiously looked around the dining hall. It was the first meal at the company and if it wasn’t for Haechan you wouldn’t have even known that there was a cafeteria at all. Your eyes darted to your left. It was louder than you’d expect from grown-ups.

“Yeah, it’s just like in high school”, Haechan swallowed his food, following the direction of your eyes as if knowing what you were thinking. Then he put down the slice of pizza he was holding and cleaned his fingers on a napkin.

“Okay, so, that table-”, he indicated with his head a group of people behind him, “lawyers. They can suck my dick and balls. And I’m definitely not saying this because they bully the IT department and we’d kill each other. Then in that one”, he indicated another table in the middle of the hall, “graphic designers. You probably see them around in the marketing wing where you’re at. Eh,” he shrugged, “normal people. Kinda weird. You’d think they won’t have colors on their clothes since they use a computer, but they still do for some arcane reason”.

You stared at them but only briefly before concentrating on your food as a few eyes returned the glares. The company was big and had hundreds of workers, but for some reason everywhere you looked around, people would stare back and whisper between themselves. “It’s because you made a ruckus at the party yesterday. Don’t worry, it will die soon.” Haechan explained, again reading your mind. It was kind of scary. “Where’s your group of people? Why are you eating with me?” you asked, unable to think about the day before.

About to go home the previous night, you looked for Doyoung first. You had no idea why. No, okay, you obviously knew why, but you didn’t know what you would tell him if you'd actually found him.

So you just gave up, suddenly anxious.

During the drive home, you called Johnny, not caring about the late hour. He had some explaining to do. “I can’t believe you’ve done that,” was the first thing you said into the phone.

Johnny’s voice was bright and not at all sleepy. He probably wasn’t home.

“So you’ve met him,” he chuckled lightly. “John,” you murmured tired, unable to say anything more and hoping that the tone of your voice would make him understand. And he did. “I know, I know. But listen, you’re in love with him,” he said. You groaned. “I don’t know, Johnny. I was alright before meeting him again”.

Johnny’s voice got clearer signaling that he went somewhere quieter. “It’s not true. You were not okay. Do you think I don’t have eyes?”

“But what if-” your voice stopped working and you had to gulp down. Your eyes stung as finally, you let your emotions flow after seeing Doyoung.

God, you didn’t want to cry.

“What if I’m like this only because I can’t have him? What if, I don’t know, we get together, right? and, and, what if, fuck, I don’t know, I just change my mind? and I hurt him? again? like, like-” you stuttered and ate your words. “Like you did with me?” Johnny asked. You started to cry silently. “Listen,” he repeated calmly, still able to hear your muffled breaths, “it’s going to be alright. What happened with us it’s not your fault, okay? Not entirely. We-” he stopped as well, thinking. “Johnny, it’s fine, we don’t have to talk about that again,” you sniffled. “No, no, wait, I need the right words,” he assured you. “We just weren’t a match, okay? We liked each other because we were good friends and we saw each other grow up, we were always together and we do love each other, okay? we really do, but not- just not that way,” he added after a pause. You nodded, even if he wasn’t able to see, remembering the long and emotional conversation you had a few months ago. “Doyoung though-” he went on and you breathed in and out, “he’s different. And you know that. Everything is different with him. So go and tell him what you feel, Y/N, please. I hate seeing you this way,” Johnny’s voice got thinner as if was worried. You sniffled again in silence and you both just listened to each other's breaths for a while. It calmed you. “Well,” you finally spoke with a hoarse voice. “It’s too late now” “No, no, Y/N-” Johnny interrupted you. “John, he’s married, he got married, he did it, it’s too late, I can’t-” you interrupted him as well. “Okay, okay, he’s married, like a fucking dumbass, okay,” he calmed you again. “But, honestly, I don’t give a single fuck at the same time. You said he didn’t even know the girl. He got set up. By his family. Like in a fucking soap opera. Who does that nowadays?” You sighed slightly amused. “Say fuck one more time”. “Fuck,” he swore then lightly chuckled. “Seriously though, talk to him, okay?”

And you said that you would.

And now you were there, eyes darting in the cafeteria looking for Doyoung again, heart stinging and anxiety as never before.

Haechan raised an eyebrow at your question. “I’m eating with you because you would probably eat alone right now. And-” he talked raising a finger as he sensed you wanting to interrupt him, “-if by 'my group of people'" he mimicked the quotations marks with his fingers, "you mean Doyoung, he never eats here. He stays in the office.”

You put your slice of pizza down and crossed your arms on your chest as if indicating that you didn’t like how Haechan assumed things. Haechan smiled. “I wasn’t looking for Doyoung”, you lied. Haechan mocked you with a bemused face. “I wAsn’t loOkiNg foR DoYouNg. I can tell him that you were looking for him if you want”. “No, Haechan. Wait, I’m-” you clenched your jaw and closed your eyes briefly.

Haechan stared at you waiting for you to go on sensing something more than just you wanting to see your crush.

“Do you think I should talk to him?” you asked after the pause. The boy's eyes turned serious. “About what?” he asked as well. You sighed. “About us. We… I don’t know. We almost kinda dated and he liked me first but I liked another guy and then when I understood my feelings he said that he was getting married and I had to act so quickly and I fucking panicked and then he was gone and I realized how much I’m in lov-” you stopped yourself from the frantic babbling. You gulped and looked around, as if afraid of people hearing you, or - worse - Doyoung himself.

Haechan breathed in and out slowly while adjusting his glasses on his nose. “I think you should talk then,” he replied quietly.

Your eyes darted towards his, but he wasn’t looking at you. Staring down at his pizza he played with a piece of it, rolling it around. “Are you guys not going along? Do you hate talking about him?” you asked, suddenly aware of his discomfort.

Haechan thought about it for a second then when he raised his face he got a wide smirk on.

“Every day that I see him he has a resting bitch face,” he replied, “or he’s annoyed, or he wants to punch me, or he’s like I had enough of you, Haechan,” he deepened his voice trying to imitate him. You rolled your eyes amused, almost if seeing Doyoung in front of you.

“Honestly? He’s… weird,” he added a little more seriously. You waited for him to go on, a light pressure wrapping your heart.

“It’s like,” Haechan spoke again looking at the ceiling as if unsure of what words to use, “he’s a house with all the lights on, and you come closer, but no one is inside?” he questioned looking back at you. “So you’re left with this sense of worry and uneasiness. I want to understand him but he… won’t let me get close. Not that I actually want that,” he explained with a smile.

You rested your back on the chair, pensive and suddenly feeling uneasy yourself by Haechan’s smile that didn’t reach his eyes at all.

_____

Insomnia, change in appetite, dizziness, rapid mood swings, intrusive thoughts, lack of concentration, pronounced sensitivity to external events, unfulfilled and intense longing. Isn’t this what Doyoung feared all along? Isn’t this what he tried to avoid?

“You don’t look that good, son.”

Doyoung turned his head towards his father as if seeing him for the first time. He hasn't been for a while now but thanks for noticing.

It was a bright and yellow morning. Rude and unnecessary.

“Maybe,” the man talked again with a weird twinkle in his eyes, smiling at his wife, making her chuckle as if she was already able to understand what he was trying to say, “you didn’t get enough sleep last night?” his father finished. Doyoung’s mother hit her husband’s hand tenderly with a little stop it. “I know you’re a grown-up man, Doyoung, but we still have some rules in this house. Sleeping with a lady on the first date it not gallant”.

Doyoung stared at them both.

Oh.

Right.

He met his allegedly future wife the previous night. And they were right. He did come back in the morning. It was a beautiful evening. Doyoung was sitting down rolling the stem of his glass of wine between two fingers, watching the way the dim lights of the restaurant made the golden liquid shine. Then he opened up another button on his shirt, feeling pathetic that he actually made an effort to look good for someone he didn’t care about. He ruffled his hair. He sighed. When The Wife came, he saw her legs first, walking slowly in a high pair of heels. Doyoung let his eyes gaze on them, going up shamelessly until meeting the seam of her tight dress. So he wasn’t the only one that tried for no reason. In spite of everything, Doyoung stood up and put a smile on his face. The Wife did the same and shook his hand. She sat down and the waiter came to fill up her glass as well. She said she was sorry for being a little late. Doyoung said it was alright. It was a nice night, wasn’t it? Yes, it was indeed. Kinda chilly. Yes, it is. The smog these days is terrible. Have you ever eaten in this restaurant? No, it’s my first time. What do you think is good? Let’s check the menu.

“Listen, Doyoung,” she finally said his name after a moment of silence, the cutlery gently hitting the plates as the only sound to fill the room. Doyoung looked up chewing slowly, unable to feel any taste. “You seem like a good person and I don’t know what kind of relationship you have with your family and what’s your opinion on all of this-” she started gesturing vaguely at them both, “-but I am in love with somebody else”, she finished.

Doyoung blinked at her, feeling nothing and gulped down. His head was completely empty.

He looked at her worried and pained face and felt like seeing his reflection in a mirror. She was in love? He felt sorry.

But she was also happy. He could see it in her eyes, in the way her expression wrinkles weren’t accustomed to frowning like that. She wasn't unhappy. She was just worried. That Doyoung would say that he doesn’t care about her love. Forcing her to marry him anyway.

“Me too”, Doyoung said after a few seconds.

The relief that washed over The Wife’s face was so contagious that Doyoung felt like smiling himself, but he didn’t. It wasn’t nothing to be happy for. Not for him. Not at that moment.

“So what are we going to do?” he asked her. She blushed. “We’re not going to get married. If my parents don’t agree... I’ll just run away! - with him!”.

She was so confident, radiant, and - in love - that Doyoung had to recollect himself after being hit with so much light. She knew what she wanted and she was going to get it. She was in love and she was loved back.

Doyoung felt like crying. He wanted that so badly as well.

“I came here to speak to you directly because even if I already knew what I was about to do, I thought it wasn’t unfair to not explain myself and just vanish”, she added. Doyoung nodded and sipped on his drink, unable to speak. The Wife-but-not-Doyoung’s-one-anymore looked at him with a wide smile but he saw how it flattered a little seeing his expression. “And what are you going to do?” she asked cautiously. Doyoung shrugged, letting his lips stretch in a smile that couldn’t reach his eyes. “I don’t know. Live in the moment, I guess,” was his reply, hoping that it was an adequate answer and to just drop that conversation.

The Wife furrowed her eyebrows.

“Did you come here with the intent to actually force yourself into this stupid relationship? While being in love with somebody else? Like an idiot?” the Wife asked.

Doyoung felt his eyes widen at her use of words. He suddenly felt pathetic and weak in comparison.

“No one is waiting for me,” he explained. “It’s too late now”. The Wife scoffed. “Are you in love or what?”.

Doyoung emptied his glass with a trembling hand.

“I just feel like I’ve been fighting a lot by myself while no one is fighting for me, so I gave up, as pitiful as that might sound,” he explained himself. His voice got sharper and he just wanted to go home.

The girl rested her back on the chair while crossing her arms on her chest with an angry expression. The fact that she didn’t need to walk on eggshells around him anymore made her real personality shine through. Doyoung found it rather refreshing but he hated it at the same time. He was scrutinizing himself very well already, judging his every step and word and thought. He didn’t need other people to do it as well.

“So you never broke down,” she observed. Doyoung looked up.

“Do you need to reach a breaking point?” he questioned. “Do I really need to get to the point of losing all my pride and sanity? It doesn’t have to be like this. Love is not like this”.

The Wife tilted her head to the side as if analyzing him. Doyoung felt vulnerable all of a sudden.

What was he doing? Talking about feelings with a stranger? A stranger he was sure he was about to marry just 5 minutes ago? He felt dizzy and his head hurt.

“No,” she agreed. “Love is not only this, no. But it can be like this sometimes." Doyoung poured some more wine into the empty glasses. “Why is she not doing it then? Why does it always have to be me?” Doyoung asked with the littlest voice. “Why did she let me go so easily?” The Wife sighed. “I don’t know her nor do I know you. But it sounds to me like she perhaps loves you too much-”

Doyoung interrupted her with a chuckle, shaking his head.

“-because!” the girl raised her voice for fear of being interrupted, “-she did not let her egoistical feelings get in the way. If you told her that you were about to get married, she obviously thought about you first, instead of herself and her needs. What would have you done in her place?” she asked.

“Fight,” Doyoung whispered. “But did you?” she asked again.

Doyoung gulped.

“Did you fight for her love? Your parents told you that you had to get married and what did you do? Accepted it? You went to her and were like 'listen this is the situation, can you promise me you’ll love me forever so that I know it’s worth fighting for you?' Is this what you did?” the Wife was almost angry and in another situation, Doyoung would have found it entertaining.

He didn’t reply. The Wife took it for tacit approval and went on.

“We’re taught to not be selfish in love, that if you love them then just let them go, and all of this bullshit, but!-” she slammed her hand on the table suddenly making Doyoung jolt, “-it doesn’t mean that’s how she is really feeling. I’d say she loves you." she pointed her finger towards him as a politician would after their speech.

“No, don’t feed my hopes, please. You don’t know anything,” he shook his head. “Doyoung, this makes no fucking sense. Get out of your head. I want you to call her, now. Just talk. Communication." “What?” “Call her. Do it. I want you to explain the new situation to her. Tell her that you aren’t getting married and that you love her and you’re ready to fight for your love. Show yourself."

Doyoung shook his head again. “Stop it.”

“Do it."

“Who do you think you are?” Doyoung was starting to get a little angry.

The Wife didn't budge and just smiled.

“Fate."

“We’re done. There’s nothing else to do now." Doyoung got up suddenly and retrieved his wallet. A waiter came from the shadows to accept his card. The Wife sighed and just looked at him as if disappointed. “Alright, but when Fate is going to kick you in the butt again when you least expect it, please think of me and my words." “I don’t believe in fate,” he replied putting on his jacket.

But Doyoung thought of those words all night while moving his phone from one hand to another, walking home slowly. It was cold as hell and he enjoyed the pain of it. He wasn’t alone. He could almost see the black car that was following him from a certain distance. “Yes, sir,” was the bodyguard’s answer when he told him to fuck off after he insisted on taking him home as programmed.

And he thought of those words again, months later, the instant he heard your voice in that party hall. He swore he was hallucinating. He felt his limbs paralyzing and shaking at the same time. But he was trained. He knew how to work in these high tension situations. It was a little click and he couldn’t feel anything, adrenaline killed and buried in the deepest parts of his brain, like hungry wolves ready to tear him to pieces when he wouldn’t have had the force to keep them locked anymore. And so he moved like a machine, like something as far from human as possible. Later. We’ll deal with this later. I can’t. I can’t do it now. I can’t let myself fall. Stay. Focus. Later he could feel it indeed. It came eventually. He felt it right there while worried about your cut. He felt it as he held your hand and dragged you away. Pain washed him all over as if for the first time and love. Oh, love, it was so much love, he felt like drowning, he felt like a withering garden begging for rain and it came suddenly, so quickly, that he couldn’t possibly absorb it all at once.

When he opened the bathroom cabinets he saw the first aid kit in a second, but he felt so overwhelmed and all over the place that he couldn’t bring himself to face you properly. He pretended to look for it for a while and his body felt your burning gaze all over his skin. Why were you looking at him like that? Stop it, no, please continue, no, stop, it’s too much, please, please, never stop looking at me.

When he turned around he couldn’t bring himself to touch you again either without dragging you against his chest, never letting go. Was this fate? Was this the fate The Wife was talking about? Is this real? Is everything real at all?

As Doyoung’s parents were scolding him about apparently fucking like a rabbit the whole night, he put down his coffee and intertwined his fingers together, resting his face on them, closing his eyes and breathing in.

“We’re not getting married,” he suddenly spoke up. The cutlery stopped moving and his parents’ faces fell off.

“What?” Mother asked with a tiny voice. “What are you talking about?” Father furrowed his eyebrows, no amusement left in his eyes. Doyoung looked at them.

“I-am-” Doyoung articulated every word well and slowly as if talking with a stupid person, “-not-getting-fucking-married."

Father’s breath grew in pace, eyes out of his orbits.

“Doyoung,” his mother’s voice was a little surprised whine.

He looked at her with the corner of his eyes and his expression was probably one of his worst ones so far since she jolted imperceptibly as if seeing her son for the first time.

“What’s with this attitude? Who do you think you are?” Father’s voice was getting deeper and his cheeks and neck reddening.

Doyoung looked back at him with a killing glare.

“Doyoung, sweetheart, you don’t have to get married tomorrow. Get to know each other first. You’ll definitely like each other as time goes by-” Mother tried to calm everyone down.

“Like you and dad?” Doyoung let his tongue be as poisonous as it wanted. “Getting married to someone for convenience to just fight like fucking dogs every day in front of a child, huh?” he asked.

Mother gasped and covered her mouth with the impeccable napkin.

“Kim Dongyoung!” Father hit the table with his fist making all the tableware tremble.

Doyoung didn’t flinch.

“Do you want my son to assist at how I fuck different women every night? Pretending that he doesn’t understand what’s going on?”

Mother started to sob.

“And you,” Doyoung spoke to her, ignoring her tears, “do you want my son to listen to his mother bad mouthing me from the most tender age? Telling him what a terrible father I am, that he shouldn’t love him, letting him know how unhappy she is while the only thing he should be preoccupied about is the multiplication table and which toy he should be playing that day with?” Doyoung directed his gaze towards his mom raising his voice on the last words.

“Do you want me to bring my son to work to prove to my wife that I am in fact not fucking the secretary while letting her suck my cock under the desk?” he continued this time directing his speech towards Father.

The man was fully red at this point and when he got up from his chair Doyoung thought that he was about to punch him or just drag him on the ground.

But he didn’t. He was shaking as if no one had confronted him like that before.

His voice was dangerous and slow, like a poisonous snake.

“You’re going to get what you deserve, Dongyoung,” he spoke and Doyoung knew what that was.

Because in his father’s eyes, Doyoung was the faulty one. For speaking up. For telling the truth. For letting both of them, grown-up adults that were still running away from themselves like children, face their own feelings and shortcomings. Forcing him to be perfect and to do stuff that they wanted. Forcing him to accept every shitty thing they did but making him feel guilty for his actions.

“I will. And you as well, Father,” he replied getting up and throwing his napkin on top of his plate. His mother’s sobs were the only sound he could hear as he exited the room.

Doyoung apologized for having spilled his drink on you. And you looked up as if that was the last of your problems. Your fingers were trembling as you disinfected your cut and Doyoung knew it wasn’t because of the pain.

Right?

No, don’t do it. Don’t go there again Doyoung. For once, for a single time, stop jumping ahead. Just ask. Stop living in your head. Don’t assume. She’s not in love. She’s not here because of you. This is not fate.

So he did ask. He asked why were you there and the transient relief he felt when he was as close as to believe he was the reason for all of that, that maybe, just maybe, you tried to be selfish again, washed away. Because he could see how sincere you were while assuring him that you had no idea it was the place he was working at. There was no plan.

So this is fate? This is how it works? It gives you the possibility but you still have to work for it? You still have to endure the pain of trying and trying and failing over and over again? If fate could make you both meet again, why didn't it do everything? Why did fate bring you in front of his eyes again just to listen to your sweet voice say that you were over him? Like a slap. Like giving a thirsty man a cup of water and taking it away right before the moment a single drop of refreshing sweetness could have eased his burning tongue.

It’s not so simple to draw the line. This was the only lesson Doyoung fully understood. There’s no one way someone can be. It’s not black and it’s not white. Everything is blurry. Everything is gray.

_____

“Y/N." It took only that single word to make Doyoung snap his head up and look at Haechan. “She was looking for you,” he added while standing in front of Doyoung’s desk, one hand comfortably inside his pants pocket, the other holding a coffee.

“Is that for me?” Doyoung asked eyeing the cup.

Haechan snorted incredulously.

“I’m telling you that the ex you’re still in love with was looking for you and you talk about a goddamn coffee?”

Doyoung straightened his back.

“She told you that she’s my ex?” he asked surprised. “So you don’t deny that you’re in love with her,” Haechan considered while sipping on the coffee.

Doyoung’s eyes got darker as they usually did when talking to Haechan but the younger one could see the redness on his cheeks and the way his adam apple traveled up and down, anxious and embarrassed.

Oh Doyoung, Haechan thought, you’re so fragile.

“How is that your business?” Doyoung didn’t budge, even though he was aware that Haechan was your new interest.

Was Haechan jealous? Was that a new way Haechan tried to make him angry with? Since Doyoung arrived at the company Haechan has never let him alone. He was nagging and whining and messing up with Doyoung, making him angry and irritated, laughing when Doyoung snapped.

Haechan shrugged. “I’m a Gemini. Everything is my business."

Doyoung sighed and flipped the papers he had underneath his hands as if telling the other that the conversation was over.

But he still felt the other’s gaze on top of his head for long seconds. “So you’re going to be a pussy about it.” Haechan didn’t move and talked with a low voice Doyoung has never heard before. “You’re going to hold yourself back and prepare some escaping routes, just like always."

Doyoung stilled and looked up.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” he asked almost in a whisper, too surprised by Haechan’s serious tone to actually get angry at the insult.

“I see you, Doyoung. I really see you. And I see how your father treats you,” Haechan sipped on his coffee again while staring out of the office windows as if talking about anything besides that. “Y/N was surprised when I told her that you weren’t some CEO or something. I didn’t tell her that you were punished.” Haechan filled the silence again as Doyoung was just staring. “I wasn’t punished,” Doyoung gave him a death glare.

Haechan shrugged.

“Do something for yourself for once, would you?” he added and Doyoung could have sworn that underneath the nonchalant mask Haechan had on, rested a troubled and sensitive soul.

“Are you two not dating?” Doyoung finally spoke when finding his voice.

Haechan came back to his normal self with a nasal laugh.

“You are so fucking stupid, oh my God,” he groaned. “No, darling, we’re not. That poor girl was too proud to admit that she’s in love with you while you probably just got back from your 'forced newlywed trip'”.

Doyoung furrowed his eyebrows and that was enough for Haechan to widen his eyes.

“So it’s not true,” he whispered.

Doyoung didn’t comment on that and Haechan didn’t add anything.

He looked out of the window again, lower lip slightly trembling so he bit on it. Then he smiled bitterly. “Fuck. Then you have to tell her that. Talk to Y/N,” he whispered again and just left leaving Doyoung confused as never before.

_____

You didn’t see Doyoung that morning and you didn’t see him during lunch either. Then at almost 5 o’clock your phone rang again. You rolled your eyes wondering what Haechan wanted to say to you. “Y/N from Marketing speaking." Your voice was flat but a little amused, ready to listen to whatever nonsense Haechan will talk about.

But when you heard the voice you gasped silently.

“Hello, Y/N. Doyoung from IT here."

His voice was warm and deep. Your breath grew heavier.

You couldn’t speak so you closed your eyes. Doyoung didn’t add anything either and you both ended up just listening to each others’ breaths for a while.

“Doyoung,” you said after what felt like ages and a few seconds at the same time, your nerves thin as never.

What were you both doing? What was this?

“Y/N,” he said in the same tone but then cleared his throat. “I-” he stopped. “I actually called with a purpose,” he added.

You imagined him, sitting behind his desk, cheeks flushed, fingers restless.

Or so you hoped.

Maybe he was just nervous. Maybe he hated to see you again. Maybe he was over you and now his pain just got back and it was all your fault.

“Yes?” you asked, raising your voice to seem nonchalant. “Yes. There’s this project that Haechan and I are working on,” he started, “-and we’ve been told to work with someone from marketing for the selling issues. And they suggested you since you’re new and you still have to prove yourself” he finished explaining.

You nodded. “Yes. Okay. Alright,” you almost stuttered.

“Come to my office. The map is on the server,” he ordered softly and hang up.

Just like that.

You remained still for a few seconds, with the beep-beep of the line ringing in your ears. Then you swallowed with a certain difficulty feeling your throat dry.

When you arrived in front of his door, thin nerves and muscles shaking, you just closed your eyes and forced yourself to calm down. You were about to see Doyoung. You were about to see him and talk to him. It wasn’t a dream and it wasn’t a fantasy. He was there, behind this thin closed door.

God.

You knocked.

His melodious voice told you to come in. And you did. He was sitting behind his desk, blinds slightly closed making the office semi-dark. “I didn’t know IT people had their own offices,” you smiled awkwardly while stepping in and closing the door behind you. “Well, we don’t need human interaction to do our jobs,” he replied in the same tone.

He got up and indicated you to sit down on the couch in front of his desk. He brought his laptop with him and placed it on the coffee table in front of it. You sat down, hands neatly placed on your thighs and you hoped he didn’t hear the way your breath hitched as he sat down as well, his thigh touching yours slightly.

His cologne was the same, you noticed, and your fingers vibrated, trying hard to stop themselves from touching him. You looked at his shoulders and imagined tracing them with your hand. Then wrapping them as you got closer. Then sliding them up to his nape, slowly, into his hair, closer and closer and closer and feeling his breath and kissing his lips and sitting on his lap and as you did so, his arms would hug you, pulling you close while he whispered your name.

Y/N. Y/N. Y/N.

“Y/N." You jolted. He was turned to you, hands on the laptop screen, a PowerPoint on it. You looked at the computer then at his face. He understood that you haven’t been listening to him and sighed.

You breathed in and out.

“Doyoung,” you said and you saw him visibly shiver hearing your voice call his name.

“I think that we should t-” but you couldn’t finish the sentence as the door got opened with a loud thud.

Haechan was almost breathless when he barged in.

You and Doyoung looked behind your backs, both surprised to see Haechan with flushed cheeks and red eyes. “Haechan,” you said. “Is everything alright?” Doyoung asked as well. Haechan caught his breath by now, staring at you both then his lips tightened in a straight line. “Yeah. Yes. Sorry, I’m late. Let’s go to the conference room. It’s more spacious there,” he spoke up and turning around he just left. You and Doyoung looked at each other surprised.

You bit your lower lip, unable to carry on the conversation anymore.

“You were saying? I think we should?” Doyoung didn’t budge.

His eyes were dark and his lips slightly parted. You stared at them, perhaps far too long because you suddenly felt your cheeks hot and your breath hitch.

You were leaning in, imperceptibly and Doyoung saw.

He didn’t get away and he didn’t refuse you. Looking at his eyes for a split second you could see that he was nervous.

Then the magic disappeared again as Haechan’s voice made you both jolt again. “What are you doing? Are you coming or not?” he yelled.

_____

You were sitting down, each with their own computer, clicking and typing. Doyoung briefly filled you in, explaining again what you needed to do. You just nodded and got to work.

“When is this due?” you asked after probably twenty minutes of full silence. You knew Doyoung would be silent but Haechan? It was surprising to see him so concentrated on his work, not looking up even once, no jokes, and no smirks. He was also in a bad mood, you thought, his red swollen eyes still fresh in your memory.

��Tomorrow morning. We’ll have a meeting and we’ll present the project. Hopefully, it goes well and we can go on with it,” Doyoung replied softly, almost in a whisper. You nodded. It was doable. You got back to work a didn’t speak for some time.

God, you were about to kiss him.

What were you thinking? What the fuck were you thinking? And him? Not pulling away? Staying still and looking at your lips the way you looked at his? You could do it, right? Maybe it was possible. You could talk to him and everything would be alright. Just like you’ve always dreamed.

Right? Right?

After an indefinite amount of time, you looked up and glanced at the time.

“Fuck,” you swore.

It was already night and you did almost nothing.

Haechan raised his eyes as well for the first time and turned around to see the dark windows. “We can take a break,” Doyoung murmured closing his laptop.

Haechan relaxed on his back. “Who appointed you as a leader?” he asked amused. You smiled a little, happy to see him that way again.

Doyoung crossed his arms on his chest. “You can be a leader then.” “Okay, then I decide that we can take a break,” Haechan giggled and you chuckled as well.

Doyoung opened his mouth to say something but his voice got suddenly swallowed by a loud, weird noise.

You all looked up and in seconds water poured out of the ceiling.

You screamed and got up suddenly.

“What’s going on?” you asked no one in particular putting your hands on your head instinctively. “The sprinkles!” Haechan yelled. “But there’s no fire? Is it?” you asked looking around the room, shocked.

"Haechan Lee!" Doyoung groaned, eyelashes fluttering in an attempt to see through the drops. "It's not my fault! I didn't do anything this time!" Haechan screamed back, one hand shielding his head. "Go and stop this mess!" the older ordered.

Haechan had the time to roll his eyes before running to the wall on the opposite side of the conference room.

You whined, leaving them to their bickering and tried hard to cover the computers ignoring that they were already wet in a desperate attempt to salvage them.

Doyoung looked at you and promptly came closer, grabbing stuff and throwing it under the desk before realizing that it was too late.

He groaned again.

You fell to your knees defeated, fists holding handfuls of melted paper.

"It doesn't work," Haechan yelled. Doyoung looked at him with such anger that you sensed it radiating through him even if unable to look at him in the face. "For fuck's sake, Haechan, you're useless!" Doyoung walked over and pressed the buttons on the switchboard then looking up at the ceiling as if expecting it to stop soon.

"What the actual fuck," he swore loudly since it wasn't working indeed.

Haechan whined beside him. "This was my best suit".

Doyoung ignored him and walked towards you again, looking around for his phone. "Aren't there other people in this god-forsaken company?" "Shouldn't it stop by now?" you asked, your voice almost inaudible. "I don't know. Something's broken," he spoke more softly to you.

You patted your jacket and retrieved your phone from the inside pocket. It was slightly damp but it worked. "Here," you handed it to Doyoung as he was about to lose his mind from not finding his. He took it and putting one hand on his hip he called someone.

In the meantime, Haechan crossed the room again and looked at the desk near you and the papers on the floor. "Shit," he commented. “At least I saved on the server,” he added.

You looked at his wet strands of hair as he passed a hand on his forehead throwing them back. “Me too,” you said to Haechan, then you both turned to Doyoung.

"They're coming. Let's leave the roo-" he ordered but his voice died in his throat when he heard what you were talking about. He looked down at the computers, pale as a sheet. “Doyoung?” Haechan’s voice was low and dangerous. “You also saved on the server, right?”

He didn’t and while you’ve followed angry Doyoung fighting with an angry Haechan through the corridos directed to the janitor’s room your head was hurting so badly that you thought it would burst.

“Listen,” Doyoung stopped suddenly making you almost bump into him, “I am a fucking mess, okay?” his index was pointed towards Haechan. “I am a mess and I have so fucking much on my mind, I can’t concentrate, I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, and I know this is not an excuse for not doing your job well but guess what, I am not perfect, okay? I am not fucking perfect. I make mistakes and I don’t give a shit, alright? I don’t give a single fuck about anything. And now shut up and go home if you want. You’ve done your part,” he spitted out then busted the janitor’s room open and entered it.

Haechan was still in the corridor a few steps ahead of you.

You were both still, shocked by Doyoung’s rage.

But then Haechan started to chuckle softly and looked at you.

“He did it, finally,” he said, without giving you any explanation and got into the room as well.

_____

"You've already seen it, Doyoung," you whispered slightly embarrassed.

Doyoung was in front of you, one hand placed on the other hand’s wrist trying to undone his sleeves, as he watched you getting undressed.

He looked at the way your bra cupped your soft breasts then promptly turned around.

“You could have gone to another room,” his voice was steady but his reddish ears gave him away.

You were told that the janitors had clean uniforms in the storage room and now you were in the middle of getting your soaked clothes off, with no time to go home and get changed since the dear Doyoung didn’t save any of your work.

“And also, I've never seen anything," he said. "Well, I’m not saying naked but you definitely saw me in a bra before,” you replied.

Doyoung’s back tightened and he turned around, looking at you from under his wet hair. "I'm afraid you're mistaking me for Johnny," he raised his eyebrows before turning away again.

You opened your mouth to speak but you were too surprised to say anything. Doyoung's eyes were - you might dare say - jealous and furious.

Was this what Haechan was talking about before? That he’s done it? Was he talking about Doyoung just owning his true feelings and wearing him of his sleeve? Did he finally snap?

"Okay, so who is this Johnny guy?" Haechan stepped closer with a sly smile. You looked at him but he wasn't looking at you. No, he was looking at you but not at your face.

Doyoung raised his gaze for a second and slapped his shoulder. "Look away."

Haechan exaggerated a cry. “I was just curious. I don’t care about Y/N."

“How can you not care about her?” Doyoung mumbled and you swore that your face turned violet.

Haechan put his tongue in his cheeks annoyed. "Doyoung, you're so fucking stupid. So many months working together and you still didn't get it?"

"Doyoung," you called him softly. "He's not interested in boobs," you explained with a smile, still shy from Doyoung's previous words.

Haechan gulped, suddenly blushing even harder.

Doyoung turned his head around and furrowed his eyebrows at you.

Then his eyes got wide and when he looked back at Haechan he noticed his red cheeks and the way he tried to not look at Doyoung's naked upper body.

Doyoung covered his nipples.

Haechan groaned and hit him.

“I’m not interested in you either, dumbass,” he added but still turned around to not look at either of you.

_____

It was hours later and you kept glancing at the neon green number on the clock in front of you. You got back to Doyoung’s office to, well, continue or start again everything you’ve done before.

“If you’re tired, you can go home, it’s fine,” Doyoung’s soft voice grabbed your attention.

You sighed and closed your computer.

“Do you want to talk?” you asked with a low voice.

It was almost a whisper but in the thick silence of the room, disrupted only by the buzz of the computers and your breaths, it sounded almost too loud. You glanced at Haechan, fast asleep with the head on his arms then you glanced at Doyoung again and at his slightly surprised expression.

That was blunt and all of a sudden. But it was so late and you were exhausted physically and mentally and you couldn’t take it anymore.

You both knew that you weren’t asking to chat about the weather but he still wanted to make sure.

“Talk about what?”

Yeah. Talk about what? Us? Is there an us? There was only you and him and the feelings in between. Talk about feelings? Does he have feelings as well though? Talk about me and my feelings? Fuck.

You looked down at your hands still on the keyboard and at the way your fingers started to shake. You clasped them together.

“I still have feelings for you,” you breathed out suddenly, then you looked up for a split second to see Doyoung’s expression.

His eyes were wide and round, his glossy pupils shaking imperceptibly. He didn’t expect you to say it like that.

“I know,” he whispered.

Your breath hitched at his words and you tried to swallow the lump forming in your throat.

He knows. He knows? He knows.

Of course, he knows. He probably noticed. You were no actress and you couldn’t fake your emotions. Also, you tried to kiss him just a few hours before that.

He knows.

Okay.

That’s it? And now?

You shook your head. “No,” you said. “I don’t think you do”.

Doyoung blinked, a single expression line between his eyebrows. “I don’t just have feelings for you, Doyoung. I am in love with you,” you confessed and this time you tried to sustain his gaze.

Doyoung’s adam apple went up and down and his lips opened as if he couldn’t breathe.

“I am foolishly in love with you. I am foolishly in love with everything you are and with everything you do,” your voice trembled. “ “When I think and when I don’t think, you’re still in my mind, roaming around the whole day. And during the night I can’t get any relief from this mind of mine because you’ll visit me again and for a while," you breathed in sharply, talking fast, "-just for a while, the gap inside of me would get filled only for me to wake up and realize that it was just a dream. I have so many feelings and all of them are consumed by you and I have so many things but they all mean nothing to me, without you. And I could blame everything and everyone for this but it’s all on me. It’s all on me, Doyoung. I knew everything and I still acted that way and when I heard you before when you said that you couldn’t concentrate or sleep or-” and you choked, tears spilling on your face.

Your hands found them and you hid your head in your palms only to jolt and look up at your side after a moment.

Doyoung got up in a second and grabbed your hand.

He was standing there with his fingers around your wrist, flushed and short-breathed.

Then he pulled you towards him making you stand up and you let him do that, landing in his arms, wrapping yours around his torso, muffling your cry with his shirt, closing your eyes, drifting away, head empty and heart full.

Doyoung was holding you tight, one hand on your back and the other one on your nape, stroking your hair and shushing you softly. “I hate to see you cry and I hate that I’m the reason for that. I’m sorry, Y/N,” he whispered against your temple. You shook your head with an exasperated whine and looked up at him. “You didn’t do anything, Doyoung,” you objected.

He looked at your face as well. He didn’t expect that. He didn’t expect any of that. His mind was racing and his heard was about to give up.

“That’s the point,” he explained. “I didn’t do anything. I could have tried more. I walked on eggshells around you the whole time and at the first problem I would just let you go, finding an excuse, being afraid-” “No,” you interrupted him, shaking your head again, “I don’t want to hear you blame yourself." “I don’t want to hear you blame yourself either,” he replied.

You opened your mouth but didn’t say anything, knowing how stubborn Doyoung could get.

Okay. Okay. It's fine.

“Okay, now I-” you looked at your hands, pressed on his chest feeling his heart pumping blood like crazy.

Your first instinct was to just pull yourself away, telling him that you’ve said everything you had to say. And wait. Wait for him to take the second step, to understand your thoughts without you explaining anything, just like he has always done before. But Johnny’s voice thundered in your head telling you to talk and explain yourself and to use your words, so you raised your head to look at Doyoung again.

He didn’t look away from you, not for one second, and when you locked eyes he brought one hand up to cup your face and with his thumb he caressed your cheek, removing the last tear.

“What about you, Doyoung? Do you love me?” your voice trembled.

Doyoung sighed as if relieved.

He pulled you close and cupped your face with the other hand as well.

He leaned in until breathing on your open lips.

“I love you,” he said in the tiniest of whispers.

“I love you,” he repeated. You whimpered.

“I love you, Y/N. I love you,” his soft chant continued.

He said that again and again, kissing you with little pecks, then again after the kiss got slower and as your lips didn’t want to leave each other anymore.

“Look, I’m glad you idiots finally aren’t idiots anymore,” Haechan’s voice startled you for the third time that day, “but would you get a room? If not I’m going home."

_____

You ended up all going home that night - or very early morning. The project could have granted you all a promotion but you decided that you all didn’t give a single fuck. Everything looked so unimportant now that Doyoung was holding your hand and your muscles relaxed in his arms.

You felt asleep there, in the crook of his neck, deeply, after months of insomnia.

You remembered little snaps as he carried to his car. He would shush you when your fingers gripped his shirt harder.

“Doyoung, it’s fine, I can walk. Put me down,” you whispered going in and out of sleep. “Sleep, I’ll take care of you,” and the kiss he planted on your forehead felt like a spell as you lost consciousness soon after.

You didn’t wake up a single time during the drive and it was only when you reached your front door that Doyoung woke you up by gently shaking your shoulders. “Sorry,” he said. “Last time I had luck but this time I can’t find your keys,” he added when you fully opened your eyes with a yawn. “My bag now has more stuff in it than when I was at university,” you smiled. Your voice was hoarse from the nap and from the cry you had.

Then you entered your apartment, walking slowly in silence, and you both undressed, throwing the coarse uniforms away.

You did it lazily and with no malice, looking at each other bodies, this time without blushing.

Then you sat down on your bed, completely naked and you looked at Doyoung, naked as well, standing in front of you as he removed the last piece of fabric from his body.

“Wait,” he suddenly said, and turning around he left the room. You looked at his back as he was walking away and sighed.

You couldn’t believe it.

It was so surreal.

You sighed again deeper, feeling it difficult to breathe.

You were exhausted and drained, body aching and head-spinning so when Doyoung came back with a glass of water all you could think of was the morning after your terrible meeting with Doyoung.

That time he was also standing in front of you, with one glass of water in his hand, face lit by the new rays of the sun. He had fewer clothes on now, of course, but for some reason, you started to feel as if no time has passed at all between the two events. There was no misunderstanding, no pain, no fights.

You smiled and took the water from him. He smiled back and sat down on the bed beside you. His eyes were telling that he knew what you were thinking, like soulmates reading each other’s minds and that he was thinking about it as well.

“Another thing,” he said and his voice was as tired as yours. “Someone, let's say Fate, told me to tell you that I am not married and that I am ready to fight for our love,” he added looking at you with a little nervous smile.

Your eyes widened.

“But-” you felt overwhelmed. “But the ring,” you mumbled looking down at his hands as your brain was trying to run at a speed too high for your tired cells. Doyoung looked at his hands as well before raising them up and showing that they were bare. “It was just a random ring. You assumed things,” he replied.

You looked back at his face, confused and dizzy.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Why-” you gulped, “why didn’t you call?”

Doyoung sighed.

“I also assumed things. I thought you didn’t love me,” he tightened his lips. “I am sorry,” he whispered wrapping your shoulders with his arms and pulling you towards him. He nudged at your temple while you processed the information, repeating the apology, planting little kisses on your temple.

“Does this change something?” he asked after a whole minute of silence. His voice sounded afraid and you looked up at him.

“No, love, no, shh, don’t get me wrong,” you assured him with a pained expression, cupping his face.

He let you do that, slightly surprised and definitely flushed by the sudden pet-name. “This is even better, isn’t it? I mean, you’re not married,” you chuckled a little.

Doyoung cupped your face as well, his thumbs pressing at the corners of your eyes.

“Then why are you crying?” he whispered so softly that it made you sob even harder.

Your lower lip trembled looking at his eyes, at his expression, at his face, drinking him in.

“I’m just happy. And I love you. I love you so much and all of this is just-” you smiled through the tears unable to go on.

You were too exhausted and emotional to be rational in that moment. You had do idea what to do and you just wanted to be.

Doyoung’s pupils shook as he bit his lip, trying not to cry as well.

“God, how much water do I need to make you drink to make up for all of these tears?” he chuckled lightly as a few tears fell on his cheeks as well.

You were both there, naked, crying, and laughing at the same time and you’ve never felt happier in your whole life.

“What happened though? How did you end up not getting married? What did your parents-” you started to ask wiping your face. Doyoung closed his eyes and shook his head, letting himself fall down on the bed and dragging you with him. “Later,” he mumbled getting you both under the covers when you landed on his chest.

You smiled and closed your eyes as well.

And you both slept a lot, hugging each other tight, bare limbs intertwined together, skin pressing on skin, lips murmuring loving whispers. It was the highest level of intimacy, naked in front of each other, and clothes had nothing to do with it.

Your souls were open and your emotions out, telling each other everything, with no fear and with no more pride.

#doyoung #doyoung smut #doyoung angst #doyoung fluff #nct #nct 127 #nct dream #haechan #johnny suh #nct angst #nct fluff #nct dream angst #nct dream fluff #nct fanfiction

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xuxisbbymami · 6 years

Text

Fifa Reactions~NCT

Warnings- swearing, mentions of sex and oral. Gets a bit angsty

Masterlist

AN- so it’s the World Cup and I thought I should write something. Don’t worry I’m still writing Psych 101 I just thought I should only upload 2 chapters a week so I dont finish it too quickly. Also the quality of the story is a lot better if I’m not updating daily. (Y sí hablo español. Mi familia de mi mama son de Chile pero se solo un poco español)😊😊 A hoe too mad her country didn’t make it to the cup😭

Taeyong- “He’s a soccer player and the other team cheats so he gets into a fight” (Uruguay)

Uruguay has won only 1 World Cup and today are the semifinals. Your boyfriend and his team have worked their butts off to get here and are determined to get into the finals. The first round they are in the lead by 2 points. In the second round the opposing team catches up with them. But Uruguay maintains their stamina has most possession of the ball. Everyone is sure they’ll pull through and break the tie. The other team though was also hellbent on getting into the finals. When Taeyong dribbles the ball and passes it to his teammate who is about to score, multiple players from the other team bombard and steal the ball from him. Tae snaps. While the ref is blowing the whistle and taking the ball from the other team Tae runs up to one of the players and shoves him down. “What the hell man”?! “It’s not my fault you can’t take a little dirty play”. Tae gets on top of him and starts punching him. You, sitting with the subs, run out on field to get your boyfriend. “Tae! Please get off him! You’ll kill him”! Your usually sweet and passive boyfriend angry is already bad enough but you know with the added stress of winning and extra hard training he’s deadly. He hears your voice and stops to look at you. You pull him off the guy with help from his teammates who were watching in sidelines just as shocked as everyone else. The two of you go into the locker room where he can calm down. You rub his back let him lay in the crook of your neck. After everyone settles down the officials decide the other team is disqualified but Tae will not compete in the finals.

Taeil- “Your team lost against Korea he’s bragging” (Denmark)

You knew by the end of the first half Denmark was done for. The score was already 5 nothing and you knew Korea hadn’t gotten started yet. Every attempt Denmark made at a goal Korea deflected it and your boyfriend cheering and celebrating wasn’t making it any better. You roll your eyes when Korea seamlessly scores 3 more goals by the end of the game. Taeil points and laughs at you. “Y/n did you see that? It would’ve been better if Denmark didn’t show at all”. He’s literally rolling on the floor dying of laughter. You straddle his waist and bang on chest, “Shut up Taeil I get it your team is so much better than mine. No one cares”. You get off him and storm into the room you guys share. You weren’t really mad you just hated that he had to brag about it. You would’ve been fine taking your L in peace. A moments later your boyfriend comes through the door seeing you pouting. “Hey baby” He sits a couple feet away from you not wanting to make you even more mad. “You know I was just kidding. I love seeing you pouty. You look so adorable”. “Whatever” you mumble. He tackles you with a hug and kisses all over your face. “Babyyyyy I love you!!!! Stop being mad and let love youuuuuu”!!!! You let out a sigh and let him continue with a tiny smile on your face.

Johnny- “You guys dress up to support your team” (Morocco)

Johnny knows how much you love the World Cup. Growing up, whenever it came one it was the center of your household. This is your first fifa away from home and Johnny wants it to be just as special. He surprises you with tickets to see your country, Morocco, play. The day of the game Johnny buys face paint and matching jerseys of your favorite player, Mbark Boussoufa. He paints your face the color of the flag and you his. “Thank you so much for this Johnny. This is so sweet”! He kisses your nose before he spray dyes your hair, “You know I would do anything for you baby”.

Yuta- “You guys lowkey beef bc your teams are competing against each other” (Senegal)

When you saw Japan and Senegal would compete you knew that your apartment would be filled with an unspoken tension. You both are very prideful when it comes to your countries and take this very seriously. The day of the game he invites over 6 of the guys over to watch. During the match they feel the unbearable tension and watch you two as you both intensely watch the tv screen not saying a word. When the winner is announced let’s just say one of you had to leave that’s how bad it was.

Kun- “He’s a soccer player and losses a game and gets upset” (Peru)

Peru got annihilated. They fought hard and gave it all they had but they were no match for France. When your boyfriend walks off the field with his head hung your heart breaks. You let him go into the locker and change while you wait in the car. He comes about 15 minutes silent. You take off your seatbelt and climb over the center console into his lap. You hug him tight and he nudges his head in the crook of your neck and sobs. “It’s all my fault I should’ve ran fast or guarded my teammates or-” “Kun,baby, it’s not your fault. You’re part of a team. You play together, you win together and you lose together. It’s not all on you. And it’s just this one game you still have a game next week and look how far you’ve made it. You made it onto Peru’s national soccer team and you guys qualified for the cup. America couldn’t even do that”. He chuckles a little and you continue to rub his back. “You gave it your all baby that’s all that matters. You poured your whole heart onto that field. I’m so proud of everything you are and have become”. He lifts his head up and kisses you softly. He pulls back and mumbles against your lips, “Thank you for being there for me. I don’t deserve you”.

Doyoung- “He’s a soccer player and gets injured” (Belgium)

He’s running to get the ball when he suddenly collapses. His teammates see him and pause for a second but know that if they lose possession of the ball for even a second it’s over for them. You, on the other hand, see that he’s down and hop up. “Someone go help him he’s hurt”! The paramedics rush out to get him and you run to his side. He’s groaning in pain and agony. “I’m right here baby don’t worry. Just relax”. You get into the ambulance with him and they rush you guys to the hospital. There you are told that he tore his ACL and would need surgery. Him being doped up on morphine to kill the pain doesn’t really comprehend the situation; you do though. He won’t be able to compete for the rest of the cup and probably be off for a season. That’s all if everything goes smoothly. If the tear is worse than they predicted he could possibly never play soccer again. You know that when he becomes aware of his predicament he’ll be devastated. You sob in your half conscious boyfriend’s lap and just pray everything goes well.

Ten- “Your team won you brag about it (vs Korea)”(Mexico)

“GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!” You scream as you run around your apartment’s living room. Mexico just nailed Korea in their coffin with the final score 6-3. Your boyfriend though doesn’t mind. He sits back and watches you prance around screaming. He loves watching you get so excited and act like a child. That’s the only reason he even watches this. He couldn’t care less whether or not Korea wins. “I WON!! MY COUNTRY BEAT YOURS!! HOW DOES IT FEEL LOSER??” You hop onto his lap and bounce around. He smiles at you lovingly, “Amazing. Simply amazing sweetheart”.

Jaehyun- “Your teams are tied” (Sweden)

You both were on the edge of your seat. Sweden and Korea are tied 4-4 with 3 minutes left on the clock. Before the game you both decided that whoever’s team lost had to get the other person head. You love giving your boyfriend head just as much as he loves giving you head but your competitive sides aren’t allowing it. The ball is in your possession your team is dribbling the ball to the goal. You’re sure your team has won the game. That is until they completely miss giving the ball to Jaehyun’s team. You’re screaming and cursing while he’s laughing and clapping loudly. Korea dribbles the ball to their side and scores a the last minute. “You know what you have to do babygirl” he smirks and puts his hand behind his head. You sigh and roll your eyes but gladly tie your hair back and get on your knees.

Winwin- “He gets really into the game” (Nigeria)

You didn’t care for sports. Never have and probably never will. Your boyfriend though loves sports. When the World Cup started you were not looking forward to hearing him and his buddies screaming at the tv. You usually go to your bedroom watch a movie, sleep or go out when sports in general are played in your home but today you decide to watch. You surprise him by sitting next to him and his friends on the coach.Your boyfriend’s favorite team, Nigeria, is playing today so you know it will be extra loud today. As the match starts your surprised that this isn’t half as bad as you thought. The real show though was watching your boyfriend intensely watch the screen, clench his jaw and yell every so often.

Jungwoo- “Your team misses a goal and you curse in your language” (Costa Rica)

You grew up with soccer and fifa being the pride of your country. Every 4 years it was mandatory to tune into the World Cup and cheer on Costa Rica. This year when they make it into the semifinals you lose it. You start thinking they might actually win this year and this only makes your hopes and expectations for your team to grow. For the entire match Costa Rica holds their own. They maintain a score to keep up with their competitor and currently have possession of the ball. All they need it one more goal and they’re off to the finals. They move to take the shoot but go over the goal. “PINCHE PUTA” You exclaim. Your boyfriend, in the kitchen, hears you and comes into the living. “Baby?” He asks trying not to laugh. He doesn’t speak Spanish nor does he comprehend it well but he knew a swear when he heard one. You hardly swear but you do it’s always a delight to him. “I’m sorry Jungwoo. It’s just that we were so close”. He walks over to you and sits down on the sofa. You lie down in his lap and allow him to rub your hair. “I know baby. I know” he chuckles to himself.

Lucas- “He plays soccer and makes a winning shot” (Egypt)

Lucas has trained extremely hard to be where he is now. Late nights and early mornings got him here to the finals and you couldn’t be prouder. You watch from the sidelines as your boyfriend is out on the field hustling. His love and passion for the sport is one of your favorite things about him. Seeing him sprint back and forth across the field causes you to have to fan yourself even though you’re just watching. He looks so good when he’s sweaty and completely focused on something. Egypt is tied with their opponent when Lucas is passed the ball. You immediately jump out of your seat. He dribbles the ball down the field and makes a corner shot. You and the crowd go wild. He just won his team the World Cup. You laugh and even cry a bit as you see him run across the field screaming and cheering for himself and his team. You know he deserves the win more than anything. After the game ends you both run into each and you give him the most passionate kiss you can muster. “I’m so proud of you baby! You did amazing”. He smiles down at you and kisses you back with twice the passion you gave him. After games ,especially wins, Lucas is always a bit excited. You know that the two of you are about to enjoy a long delightful night.

Mark- “His team wins so you get mad at him” (Portugal)

It’s the long anticipated game. Portugal VS Spain. You are rooting for your home country Spain and your boyfriend Mark is going for Portugal, probably just to defy you. You both are completely immersed in the game watching to see which great nation will win this epic battle. At the end of the 1st half the score is 4-0 and you like many others feel like Spain will win hands down. That is until 2nd half Portugal decides to actually bring the heat surprising everyone. Portugal ends up winning 4-6 and you can’t believe it. “You cheated it's your fault my team lost! You did something didn’t you? This isn’t the real game is it? This is rigged!” You accuse. Mark just laughs at you, “Baby I’m sitting right here next to you watching the game too. How could I have done anything”? You roll your eyes and turn your back to him. You refuse to believe anything he has to say. Mark knows what you’re doing. You’re ignoring him. He finds it absolutely adorable that you can’t accept the fact that your team lost. He smiles to himself as you pout and don’t even look at him.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Just wanna say Johnny is fine ASF SM NEED TIMO GIVE HIM MORE LINES AND ATTENTION. And tumblr sucks ass. 10 pics per post???? What type of fuckery??? And every time I want to post tumblr forgets how to work

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clnriswood · 7 years

Photo

KAI PARKER X READER

Fragile

request: heyy I really like your writting and I was wondering if you could write a imagine where kai cheats on the reader with bonnie, the reader starts to act weird and everyone thinks its bc of the break up but the truth is she is sick (eating desorder bc she is human) bonnie is mean towards her at the salvatore house and she just yell that she is sick and everyone feels bad for her including kai :) sorry if it is too confusing.

gif cred @mattmoredick

Her back was to the door, head buried in her knees, hair water-falling over her closed eyes as she took in shaky breaths. She wore a baggy navy sweater and ripped black jeans, and a hard pang seemed to take over her whole body, like a constant throbbing, dull, ache. She tilted her head up against the oak frame, chewing at her lower lip, thoughts swarming around her head like a thousand rampant bees.

“Hello?!” Caroline chimed from the other side of the wall, making her jump in surprise. “(Y/N), you okay? You coming?”

“Uh, yeah, fine,” she cleared her throat, groaning lightly as she pulled herself from the floor and to her feet, fingers trembling as she pulled open the silver knob.

“Everyone’s here,” Caroline smiled politely when she saw her, “we can walk together.”

The girl nodded, ignoring the way Caroline spoke with her underlying sense of pity for her, something most had taken to doing recently. Their knuckles brushed lightly against each other as they stepped across the dark floors, dark boots clacking and filling the silent corridor with noise. Before they entered the lounge, Care gave her a faint squeeze to her arm, and then they walked in together.

“Hey,” she said, eyes darting over the crackling fireplace, and thick red carpets which were sat upon by Stefan, Damon, Elena, Matt, Bonnie, and…

Her gaze fell upon the boy with his hands curled in his lap, legs crossed, head lifting when she entered, those blue eyes looking just as ashamed as they had the first time she heard the news.

“One week without being attacked by vampires, wolves, witches, ghosts, or whatever hell beast this town has seen, come celebrate!” Elena said cheerfully with a big smile.

“New record,” she laughed lightly, strolling to the table and sinking down beside Stefan and Matt.

The golden red flames sent shadows over their faces as Damon approached them carrying just a couple of his many bottles of alcohol with an eager wink.

“What shall it be?” Matt said, sliding an elegant glass to the girl.

“Oh, nothing, thanks,” she tried.

“You sure?” he raised a brow.

She gave a nod, and Matt glanced at her suspiciously. He seemed to know her feeling more than anyone, the one of being the only human in the group, a human who’d been thrown into this whole messy world of the impossible, which means he did well with looking after her, even though they all did.

“We should drink once for every supernatural monster we’ve faced,” Elena chuckled as she stole Damon’s glass with a giggle.

“That would be one hell of a list, we’d be drunk in two minutes,” Damon said, taking his drink back with a playful shove.

“My particular favorite would have to be literal Satan,” Stefan chimed in with a twitch of his lips, making them all laugh.

“Yeah but those witches have to be the most annoying, am I right (Y/N)?” Kai said sarcastically, eagerly trying to pull a smile from her lips.

“You couldn’t be more right,” she said, her voice lowering seriously, brows knitting in clear unamusement

Kai’s face fell, and he gave a little awkward clear of his throat.

Bonnie, who sat beside him, shot the girl a glare, her dark curls framing her aggravated face.

“Don’t listen to that,” Bonnie soothed.

‘Oh, so I’m a ‘that’ now, am I?’ the girl thought to herself as she toyed with a loose string on her sweater.

“I don’t need you to defend me,” Kai hissed back, which made her feel only a little better.

She felt a hand touch her back, so she raised her eyes to the vampire who sat next to her. His glimmering gaze stared forward, arm lowered beneath the edge of the table so nobody could see. His palm pressed to her back, and he rubbed his thumb against her with the smallest tilt of his head that told her he was there for her.

“Thanks,” she whispered barely audibly, but she knew Stefan could hear her.

It had been a couple weeks since her whole world had come crashing down on her. Malachai Parker, the person who she’d loved with every particle of her being, who she would do anything for, who had promised to fight for her like she would for him, had crushed her beating heart into shattered fragments in a matter of seconds. She didn’t know where she went wrong, what made him do it, but apparently she wasn’t good enough, but Bonnie Bennet happened to be. She could remember it so vividly, the utter regret in his face when he cried to her, the tears that flowed down his pale and sunken face.

“I’m s-so sorry, I wanted you to hear it from me first, because after what I’ve done, the least I can do is be honest with you…”

Her eyes had glazed over, the rest of his muffled pleas for forgiveness sounding like they were coming from underwater. She hadn’t cried, not in front of him at least, because she wanted to seem like she wasn’t hurting, like the person who gave her will to live hadn’t just set her spiraling and gasping for oxygen. But he had.

“Food’s ready!” Caroline skipped into the room, vamp speeding around and filling the table with colorful delicacies of her homemade cookies, casserole, potatoes, macaroni, and various other things.

The aroma filled the whole room up, and while the mystic falls gang dove into the food like rabid animals, the girl clutched at her stomach, instantly feeling sick from the sight before her and the smell that filled her lungs. Everyone stacked the goods onto shiny silver plates and filled the room with chatter, but she just couldn’t bring herself to touch the food. Her eyes flickered over and caught to the forlorn looking heretic’s bright blue ones. He stared at the plates and then back at her, and repeated this look a couple times before the realization dawned on him. He knew her, he knew her so well that there was no doubt in his mind she had no intention of eating.

“Hungry?” Elena nudged the girl out of her daze and picked up a plate.

“I’m fine,” she responded with a forced smile.

“C’mon, you’ve barely touched any of this stuff all day,” Elena cooed.

“I’m fine,” she smiled.

She hadn’t touched any of that stuff all day, not really all week either, not really all month, but nobody seemed to notice, not except-

“You should eat,” Kai soothed quietly, like his whole life depended on her doing so.

“I said I’m fine,” she fired back softly.

Kai’s head sunk, “that’s what you always say.”

“Excuse me?” she flared.

“Am I lying?”

“Shut up, Malachai.”

He grimaced, face scrunching at the word, one she only used when she was really upset, ‘Malachai.’

The group were starting to notice the quiet feud between the two, Bonnie looking especially displeased, to which Kai muttered softly, “may I talk to you a minute?”

She didn’t want to, but not doing so would risk Kai opening his mouth too much, so she gave a long sigh and purse of her lips, “outside.”

Bonnie opened her mouth, then decided better, the two brushing past the now quiet group and into the empty corridor.

“What?” she snapped the second she turned to face Kai.

He was wearing a ripped jean jacket over a black tee, brown locks pushed smoothly atop his forehead, his arms folding.

“That’s all you have to say?” Kai said.

“What do you want me to say?” she swallowed the lump in her throat and diverted her gaze from his.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed, I’m not stupid. It’s gotten worse, and you always wear those sweaters so nobody will notice,” he said, sounding genuinely hurt.

When she didn’t respond, he raised his fingertips to her arm, his silver rings gliding over her flesh and raising goosebumps.

“Don’t,” she muttered, pushing his hand away.

He shook his head, “please.”

“Why would you care anyway?” she looked back at his sad blue eyes.

“Stop doing that,” he begged softly.

“Doing what?”

“Isolating me, talking about me like everything we had together before just vanished when I…” he trailed off, taking a deep breath. “I made a mistake, okay?” he said, voice breaking as a tear rolled down his cheek. “And I’ll hate myself for that forever, just like I’ll love you forever.”

Her heart raced, jaw set as she trembled lightly beneath his gaze.

“But even though I fucked up and lost what was most important to me, whether you ever forgive me or not, I need to know you’re alive. And at the rate you’re going at, it won’t be too much longer,” he wept quietly. “So please, I’m not asking this for myself, but I could never handle it if I just stood back and let it happen, you need to take care of this, and I want to help you, (Y/N). I already lost you once, I don’t think I could do it again.”

He brushed her cheek lightly, the contact making her shiver, his expression softening, “I’m begging you.”

She wiped roughly at the tear that had escaped her eyes, giving a loud sniff and tiny nod, “okay.”

And she didn’t stop him when he pulled her into a hug, she nuzzled into his neck, his hands sliding into her hair and holding her to him like she would sink if he let go. His familiar and warm scent embraced her, and she didn’t try to stop when she cried this time.

“I don’t know how to do this,” she whispered, pulling away, her eyes red.

“Can I?” he started.

She lifted the edge of her sweater, and Kai’s face dropped, his breath coming suddenly heavy when he saw her underfed front and her ribs that stuck out. He’d seen this before, but never like this, never to this point, and it strung a chord within him.

“I’m gonna help you get through this, I promise,” he squeezed her hand, his eyes wet.

“I can’t do this alone.”

“You won’t.”

. . .

After enough time had passed that they’d regained their composure, they gave a nod and entered the room together again. The group was a little tipsy, huddled before the fading orange embers, their bellies bubbly with alcohol and food.

“You’re back,” Damon gave a faint smile, “done clawing at each other’s throats?”

“Think so,” she smiled faintly.

“Shame, I’m gonna miss the reserved and mopey act,” Bonnie grumbled.

“What?” the girl laughed nervously, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

“I said,” Bonnie started, “you’re little heart broken facade to get everyone to take pity on you because of Kai.”

Her heart sank, cheeks flaring red as her fists balled tightly at her sides.

Kai brushed his fingertips lightly against her hands, “breathe.”

So she did.

“Nothing to say?” Bonnie snapped, “now you choose to be quiet?”

“Please, stop,” the girl hissed through gritted teeth.

“Why? You and Kai suddenly go back to the way it was bef-”

“She said stop,” Kai warned, his eyes darkening and voice dropping the way it always did before he snapped someone’s neck.

“There’s more to it than you know, okay?” the girl stammered softly.

“I’m pretty sure I already know everything there is to it, thanks,” Bonnie said.

Stefan, Damon, and the others all watched in silence, though none of them seemed keen on aiding Bon, in fact any one of them looked just about ready to snap a neck or two.

“Can we just stop talking about this?” she begged.

“Sure, until the next time Kai does something stupid and breaks you all over again,” she challenged, her jaw set.

“I’m going to say it,” she whispered.

“You don’t have to,” Kai squeezed her palm gently, Bonnie’s eyes catching the gesture.

“Say what?” she snapped. “Do i-”

“I’m sick.”

The whole room went dead silent aside from the crackling fire which chewed hungrily at the burnt logs.

“What?” Caroline breathed in shock.

“I’m sick, okay? I can’t eat, or when I do, I can’t keep it down. I’ve been in so much pain recently but I didn’t want to drag anyone into my own mess so I just didn’t say anything,” she rambled, turning to Bonnie, “is that what you wanted to hear? That I was in the hospital the other week, or that I have no energy and yet I’m doing this to myself?!”

“(Y/N),” Bonnie said softly, instantly feeling ashamed of herself.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this before….” she trailed off, eyes falling to the soft red carpet.

“I’m going to help her,” Kai said.

Everyone stared blankly at them, then, after a moment of silence.

“Me too.”

Caroline had piped up softly.

“Me too,” Stefan said.

“And me,” Elena chimed.

“All of us,” Matt nodded.

“Guys, it’s okay,” she reassured.

“No it’s not,” Elena murmured, “we’ve been so focused on everything happening in our lives and in Mystic Falls that we were letting this happen.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“And it’s not yours either,” Matt soothed.

Bonnie stood, her lower lip trembling “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things, I’m so so sorry. Not just for this, for everything. I was so angry at myself that I was trying to project my shame onto you, when I should’ve been there for you instead.”

The girl nodded, “it’s okay, why not forgive two people today?”

“(Y/N),” Bonnie said.

“I want my best friend back, Bon.”

“Me too,” she smiled weakly.

She felt Kai’s rings brush her hand, and then his fingers were laced through hers, comforting and familiar like she’d remembered. Then he brushed his thumb over her skin, his blue eyes feeling like home when he looked at her, and suddenly she wasn’t so scared.

#kai parker #kai parker x reader #kai parker imagine #kai parker imagines #kai parker gif #tvd x reader #kai parker one shot #tvd one shot #tvd imagine #tvd imagines #bonnie bennet #Stefan Salvatore #elena gilbert #imagines #imagine

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