#the first WIP out of a fuckton has been finished
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Party Animal
Steve hated parties. And who could blame him? The infamous Halloween party of 1984 left more scars on his heart than he carried from all his other misadventures. Alcohol made people say thinks they buried deep inside, but then instead of owning up to them, they'd say "I was drunk", as if that was any excuse. So yes, Steve and parties didn't go together anymore.
And yet he stupidly decided to throw one anyway.
Look, they deserved it. All of them did - Eddie, Nancy, Robin, even Jonathan and Argyle, they all earned acting like actual teenagers for one evening. Steve wanted to see Eddie, now miraculously his boyfriend, just have fun, laugh, be silly. So a party it was.
It all went great - dancing, drinking, nibbling on mountains of Argyle's homemade pizza - but eventually they all got drunk. Not Steve, he just sipped one beer and kept an eye on everyone. Jonathan and Argyle were smoking outside, Nancy and Robin flirted in the most embarrassing way possible and Eddie...
Steve heard sniffling from the bathroom and his heart sank.
He didn't want to go there. He didn't want to be told that this was all a misunderstanding, that he pressured Eddie with his flirting, didn't want to hear he's bullshit again.
But no matter how terrified he was, he could never abandon Eddie. So he went in.
Eddie was leaning over the sink, wiping at his face and trying to control his breathing. "Shit..." he muttered and turned away from Steve. "Sorry, I...uh. I'll be there in a sec."
"Eddie..." It came out as a whisper. "Are...are you okay? Did I do something?"
Eddie just chuckled and pulled hair in front of his face. "Sure did," he mumbled.
And it made horrible sense to Steve. Of course he was the reason Eddie was crying. He couldn't help fucking up, he'd tried so hard to change but apparently it was 1984 all over again. So he took a deep breath and waited for the final blow.
"You're just perfect, Stevie."
Oh.
That wasn't what being broken up with sounded like. In fact, Eddie didn't seem angry at him at all. "...sorry?"
Eddie laughed, wet and high in his throat. "Like, you...you are too good to be true, you know? You throw a party for us and then you even don't drink so we're all cared for if anything happens? You...you give your best friend a green light to date your ex who shredded your heart to pieces? You invite the guy that your ex cheated on you with and his friend? You're just so good about it. And you're funny and so bitchy that I want to kiss you all the time. And I just...I love you so much, you know? And I've never felt that way about anyone and it's fucking scary, man."
Steve's racing thoughts came to a screching halt. Where he was too busy panicking and praying he'd still have time to fix whatever he did, now his brain settled on maybe I'm not getting broken up with? "So, uh..." he muttered as he watched Eddie try fix his eyeliner, "...there's, like, nothing wrong? Or maybe...do you want me to go slower? I know I can be a lot."
His boyfriend gave an incredulous laugh. There was no salvaging the eyeliner now, it was getting caught in Eddie's early crow feet, and Steve had never seen a more beautiful sight. "No, Steve. You're not a lot. In fact, you're just enough in every single way, but knowing that you're it for me, that good things can happen...it makes me terrified. I've never put all my drugs in a single lunchbox, or whatever metaphor you want to use for it, but with you I'm just throwing all the caution into the wind. And for the first time, I..." he stopped, chewing on his lip, "...I don't want to run away when I mess up. I want to stay, face the music and fix it. You're re-writing the Munson doctrine again and again and I just...I don't want you to settle for me, Steve. You are the whole package and I'm still cleaning all my messes. I guess today showed me that and I...yeah. Sorry about all this," he pointed at his tear-streaked face.
Eddie suddenly seemed so small, so insecure, and that wouldn't do. It woke Steve up from his frozen state and he took a step forward, cradling Eddie's face in his palms. "I'm not. Settling for you, that is." He was probably smudging the black even more, but Eddie would have been beautiful to him even fully covered in grime, and there were more important things to focus on. "Eddie, you keep talking about the Munson doctrine and being work in progress, but you don't see how you've thrown all the stuff I used to do out of the window, and I'm better for it. With you, I don't feel rushed, I don't have to perform or pretend. I can just live in the moment."
As he continued his speech, something strange started happening. Seeing people cry normally had a guaranteed effect on Steve - just one tear, quiet sob and he pushed his emotions down to be dealt with later or possibly never, someone needed him, and that was the priority. But now, staring at Eddie's wet eyes and shaky hands? He felt his own face crumbling and what better place to hide it than in Eddie's Metallica t-shirt. It smelled of cigarettes, pizza and the cheap laundry detergent that had come to mean home to Steve. "Sorry," he choked out. "Shit. I was...sorry, I'm supposed to be...you know. Consoling you. But I heard you crying and I thought...I..."
Eddie shook his head and tightened his grip on Steve's waist. "Oh Stevie. Whatever that pretty head of yours thought of, it's not happening. Unless it's kissing me, which duh, that's happening, if you want to of course, and staying with me to the point that you're sick of me."
Steve just whimpered into Eddie's shoulder, something that suspiciously sounded like "Now who's perfect, huh?"
His boyfriend just chuckled. "I guess that in a way, we both are. Maybe for each other?" If he'd aimed for self-deprecating tone, he failed. Instead, it was hopeful.
Steve didn't answer, but his embrace said it all.
They remained wrapped around each other for a long while, until Eddie whispered in Steve's ear: "how about we let the others celebrate on their own, hm? They won't be driving, their stuff is already in the guest bedrooms, and I hear your bed is wonderful this time of the year."
There was a muffled "yes" coming from Eddie's shoulder, and a few adjustments and "Good night!"s later, they found themselves in Steve's bedroom. Eddie managed to remove most of the rogue eyeliner, which was lucky. The time in the bathroom wasn't the last time he shed a tear that day, because as they were falling asleep, Steve said:
"You might be the first person who is dating the real me, and I'd like you to be the last one as well."
Tomorrow, he'd hold a funeral for the Munson doctrine. But today, he was going to wrap himself around Steve like a cuddly octopus and know that even if he doesn't manage to hold on tight the whole night, Steve would be there in the morning.
#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#steddie fanfiction#steddie drabble#background ronance#fluff and fluff and FLUFF#the first WIP out of a fuckton has been finished#yay#also I can't sleep who would have thought?
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23, 30, and 49!
23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?
I have answered this one in a different ask, but to put it short:
Hannibal Game of Thrones crossover.
Mirrorlander workplace comedy.
I still want to finish them badly. But the Outlook is Grim, so I wouldn't hold my breath for either of the two.
30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?
I have once written a rather large historical fic set in the era of the crusades for a different fandom. I am not a historian, but did a fuckton of research to get it into the zone where I don't have to be ashamed at my absolute non-knowledge.
It changed my approach to writing fic by making me very proud of the accomplishment and also letting me vow to never do that again, ha. Things I learned: I am a more talented author than I thought I am. I am also a lazy fucker.
49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it!
I have shared PWP with a different asker, so you will NOT get PWP. You will get a snippet of the depowered HL dad fic because I am apparently a jack of many trades lmao who can handle TWO WIPS instead of one. Clap, everyone. Clap.
His father was in the kitchen with his glasses in his hands, turning them this way and that, squinting at them. "How was your walk?" he asked absentmindedly, and like always, it sounded like a rehearsed phrase. At first, Ryan had been bothered by the way Homelander talked because there was always some level of artifice to it. He'd come to realise it didn't mean any of the words he said were particularly false, though.
"Good. It's really cold out today, so I came home early." He hung his rain jacket up and went to the fire.
For a few months now, his experience with temperature had been gradually undergoing change.
He remembered shivering in his snow suit as a toddler when his mom had thrown snow in his face. He had felt the cold like a bite to his skin. The heat had driven sweat on his brow. Now, he could lean as close to the fire as he liked, and while he could always feel the warmth, there was never a moment where he recoiled from it. As of now, he'd never been brave enough to put his hand directly into the flames and let them lick at his skin.
"Will it hurt if I touch the flames?" he asked into the silence because why wouldn't he just ask the man who must know the answer.
There was a beat of silence, and then he heard the footsteps of his father walk over to him. He had the glasses back on as he crouched down next to him, and the fire was mirrored in them. "It'll hurt. I can't promise it won't burn you a bit. Wait a while until you're sure it won't."
Ryan blinked at him. It was the first time his father had advised him to be cautious. Ever. Two years ago, he'd thrown him off a roof. "So my skin is invulnerable but... not?"
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Thank you so much for the tag, @lattesqueeze. 🥹
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
31! I used to have a lot more on my old account, but I deleted them all and the account ages ago.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
182,588 apparently. Jesus fuck, I did not realize it was that high.
3. Which fandoms do you write for?
These days? Only F1 RPF, but I used to write for several others, including (but not limited to) Cut & Run, Men's Football RPF, McFly RPF, and Teen Wolf.
4. Which are your top 5 fics by kudos?
1. Devils Roll The Dice (Angels Roll Their Eyes) - My first Lestappen fic, my baby, my pride and joy
2. 19 Times The Grid Saved Lestappen (And One Time They Didn't Need To) - My first collab fic with the lovely Ilse (@f1writingbyme) 💕
3. Something Unholy - Lestappen lap dance/dirty talk PWP
4. Speak Now (Or Forever Hold Your Peace) - A personal Lestappen favorite
5. No Time For Regret (No Time For Sleep) - Lestappen PWP set after the 2023 Belgian Grand Prix
5. Do you reply to your comments? Why or why not?
Yes, I do! I've made it my mission to reply to every single comment I get on my work, because the fact that there are people out there who not only read my work, but they also take the time to leave a comment, is such a huge deal to me and it makes me so happy. The least I can do is make sure they all get a reply.
6. Which of your fics has the angstiest ending?
Ooof, I guess The Last Straw? The ending itself isn't the angstiest part of the fic, but the entire thing is angsty as hell.
7. Which of your fics has the happiest ending?
I'd say most of my fics have happy endings, but the happiest? Probably Devils Roll The Dice (Angels Roll Their Eyes), or the first sequel Like Snow At The Beach (Weird, But Fucking Beautiful).
8. Do you get hate on your fics?
Haven't gotten any hate so far on my current AO3 account! I used to get a bit of hate on my fics when I used to write for another fandom (1D, despite not being a 1D fan myself, I only wrote requests from other people) years ago, though, because back then there was apparently a "right or wrong way" to write fics, and there were always people who thought you were doing it wrong.
9. Do you write smut?
I do. Admittedly, it's my least favorite thing to write, but I do write it.
10. Do you write crossovers?
I've never tried, and I've never had an urge to so far.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Only one! (That I know of.) It was the first 1D fic I wrote and somebody tried to pass it off as their own. Didn't work very well for them.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Not yet, but I was actually contacted by a lovely person who wants to translate some of my F1 fics, which is a huge honor. So it's coming!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic?
Yes, I have! I co-wrote a fic with an old friend back in my McFly obsession days, and I've co-written two Lestappen fics with my darling @f1writingbyme.
19 Times The Grid Saved Lestappen (And One Time They Didn't Need To), and Ride The Bull (Giddy Up, Partner).
14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?
All-time? I honestly don't know if I can pick because all of my favorite ships have been my all-time favorite ship at the time I was hyperfixating on them. But, if I have to make a choice, I'd say it's a tie between Lestappen and Junes (Harry Judd/Danny Jones from McFly).
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but probably never will?
Oh, man, I don't have one because my brain will not let me start a WIP without finishing it. Once I start writing something, my OCD and anxiety kicks in, and I just have to finish it. And if I can't finish it, I delete the whole thing and never think of it again. Which is both a blessing and a curse.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Angst and endings, I think.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Smut, without a doubt. Despite having written a fuckton of smut in my life, there is nothing that stresses me out more than when I get to the part in a fic where smut belongs. Reading back my own smut makes me cringe.
18. What are your thoughts on writing in other languages in fics?
If it's done properly, I say go for it! I personally don't mind it at all and find it adds depth to a lot of work. Just make sure you use something other than Google Translate if you don't speak the language, and preferably check with someone who speaks the language, to make it as believeable to a native reader as possible.
19. What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?
McFly. God, those were the days. I was a literal child back then.
20. What’s your favourite fic that you’ve written?
Definitely Devils Roll The Dice (Angels Roll Their Eyes). Writing that fic altered my brain chemistry, and I can still remember how I felt writing the different chapters. And also 19 Times The Grid Saved Lestappen (And One Time They Didn't Need To), because that was just so fun from start to finish.
Tagging @f1writingbyme, @nico-di-genova, and @f1posting (and anyone else who wants to do this and hasn't already been tagged!).
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Lamps you KNOW i HAVE to ask about catholic guilt but sexy!!!!
Turnip, you have picked my most slutty, debauched, utterly filthy wip to date. Just ask Cay, she's read the snippets, she knows all about the super unsavoury plans 😩💀
From this tag game
I'm putting a read more break here cause... yeah....
catholic guilt but sexy is set in a Beyond Evil au, where Yu Yeon lives and Dong Sik follows his family's religion. So much so, that he becomes a priest of a small parish. His life is pretty quiet, he has his friends and his flock, and he's even beloved by his local community. He's... he's okay. (Even if on the inside he feels like screaming). Everything is going according to plan, he's doing fine, until...
A snobby, uppity, good-looking prick from Seoul gets transferred (banished) to his parish to be his new Deacon.
Han Joo Won enters Dong Sik's life and absolutely destroys it. He is Dong Sik's demise. His doom. His very-own Judas, who has come to kiss him on the cheek.
He is brash and unrestrained, he talks openly about things he disagrees with, he doesn't care about what's expected of him by the church or God... and as time passes, his warm honesty, his single-minded determination, and his utter devotion to Dong Sik, rips the wool from Dong Sik's eyes to reveal what life could be like if he just let himself have it.
Han Joo Won isn't Dong Sik's doom. He is his saviour.
[Or... Dong Sik meets Joo Won and finds it impossible to repress his sexuality, which results in some freaky, freaky sex. Ngl, in this fic, there's a lot of guilt and shame, a fuckton of internalised homophobia, angst, and some pretty heavy BDSM, but a lot of love... so much love]
Here's a snippet of one of my favourite scenes... Just to be absolutely clear, this fic is rated a hard E. It was super hard to pick a short snippet, but I think you'll like what I've chosen. This snippet is of their first kiss. Obviously, Joo Won kisses Dong Sik first and these few paragraphs focus on Dong Sik kissing him back.
Dong Sik wants to cry. You fool, what have you done? But Joo Won didn't do anything that Dong Sik hasn't already spent twilights and sunsets dreaming about.
Up until this point, his unwavering desire has trickled like a stream. But after he’s felt the warmth of Joo Won’s lips, he has become drenched with a waterfall of need. He silently prays that their Lord will have mercy on him. He is only one man, only a man… and Joo Won is a magnetic force too powerful to vanquish. So, he finally doesn’t fight it. He might find the strength one day. But not now.
Joo Won breathes him in as Dong Sik gingerly brings their lips back together. It’s been so long since he’s done anything like this, almost Joo Won’s entire lifetime… Which… oh fuck, what a ghastly thought. There’s a smile against his mouth as fragile as origami in inept hands and it draws him in, asking to be treasured, begging for him to be the one to admire it. Dong Sik doesn’t know if he’s worthy - he might crush it and forever lose this opportunity - but he doesn’t stop himself from gently kissing Joo Won anyway.
Joo Won moves closer with a bubbling, restless energy that reminds Dong Sik of the blooming riots of spring. A time for youth and life; gleeful as young love permeates the air with a joy that Dong Sik hasn’t felt before. It’s an infectious feeling and for a second, he allows himself the solitude of just basking in it. He can pretend that he’s free from the eyes of God and hell and anyone in between. He can pretend he’s living out the springtime flings of his youth, instead of the quiet comforts of his autumn years.
-
So... yeah... that's the priest fic I was working on. At the moment, it's kind of a dead wip but I hope you've enjoyed what you've read.
Thanks again for sending me this.
(this fic is guaranteed to send me to hell... if I ever actually finish writing it lol)
#tag game#wip tag#ask answered#thank you <3#clearly i'm out here trying to process some stuff some my religious upbringing#even though I wasn't catholic lol#hope you enjoy it!#beyond evil
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Fic Writer Question Meme!
Thanks for the tag, @venhedish—I love stuff like this! I'd apologize in advance for how long this is likely to be, but I suspect we share that tendency, haha.
How many works do you have on AO3?
20 total. I've been publishing there since late 2018, so about three years now. That sounds right for me—I'm way too perfectionist to ever be prolific.
What's your total AO3 word count?
125,744! Apparently it takes me three years to write a novel's worth of words I feel are worth publishing...which also sounds right.
How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
Three, primarily: The Lost Boys, Stranger Things, and Supernatural. Mostly Stranger Things, since I was pretty enmeshed in the Harringrove community for about a year and a half, though these days I'm hanging out more with the SPN crowd. We'll see if that translates to more fics.
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
1.) Sunflower (524)
2.) Quickly, look away (506)
3.) We'll Become Who We Meant To Be (383)
4.) Too Young To Fall In Love (333)
5.) When the Waters Start to Cross (283)
First, what's not surprising: all are Stranger Things/Harringrove works. I'm a little surprised to see that "Sunflower" had edged out "Quickly" as my most-kudosed story, for years it was the other way around—but maybe that's actually not that surprising—part of the reason I haven't been as active in the fandom is that I really love the darker and more complex renditions of Billy Hargrove's character (a la "Quickly") and since S3 aired it seems like the fashion has moved more towards more lighthearted fluff (a la "Sunflower"). Still, both are pretty undemanding smut, so it makes sense that they're on top; similarly, I'm not surprised to see "Too Young To Fall In Love" in the top five either.
I am a little surprised that "We'll Become Who We Meant To Be" is #3—it's honestly close to genfic, there's only the tiniest moment of hinted-at attraction in there. I'm not mad about it, I honestly feel like it's one of my better efforts; on the other hand, "Wake Me Up" was in a similar vein and it's close to the bottom. I guess there's just no telling what's going to catch on...in fairness, a 25K outsider POV novella is a much bigger ask than a 3K short story.
Honestly, I'm probably most surprised at "When the Waters Start to Cross" cracking the top five—it's a 52K+ WIP and a profoundly complex atmospheric existential horror/romance, which is, like, five strikes against it. I'm not mad about it, though—I love that fic, even if it is a huge time and energy suck, and it definitely contains some of my best writing.
Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
I do! Sometimes it takes me a while, but I genuinely appreciate people taking the time to leave feedback (even if it's just a string of emoji!). And every once in a while I'll get really thoughtful or incisive comments that spark whole conversations—that's one of the best reasons to write fic!
What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
Hmm...to be honest, nothing immediately comes to mind; I love angst but tend to want it to serve a purpose, i.e. it gets a character closer to who they want to be. So most of my endings are at least hopeful. *checks list* It looks like probably my angstiest ending is also my first fic posted, "Blue Masquerade". Poor Michael.
Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you've written?
I don't currently write crossovers; I wouldn't rule it out, but frankly I haven't come across an idea that appeals to me. Waaaaaay back in the mists of time I had a Daria/Harry Potter crossover that I was actually pretty proud of, but I got about as far as getting them to Hogwarts and then kinda ran out of ideas, so I never posted it.
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
Not that I can think of? I'm not big-time enough to get hate, haha. Worst I ever got was some rando asking for top or bottom tags, which I just ignored, and one person on "We'll Become" who was like "I don't like this pairing but you did a good job", which kinda had me like ??? thanks, I guess? I did get one comment on "Quickly, look away" from someone who felt like it was in a different headspace from the fic I wrote it as a sequel to, but that didn't strike me as hate, it's a perfectly fair observation.
Do you write smut? If so what kind?
So first off, yes, and second...I recently came across this great Garth Greenwell quote that really gets at what I'm trying to do when I write smut:
In America in 2019 we are inundated with images of bodies to an absolutely unprecedented degree—images of eroticized bodies, images of sexual bodies; the Internet makes all our fantasies visible, and it trains us in new fantasies. And yet it also seems to me that our culture suffers from a dearth of representations of embodiedness, by which I mean of bodies imbued with consciousness. I’m not at all antiporn, but sometimes pornography (maybe especially Internet pornography, with its arms race of extremity) seems to want to evacuate bodies of personhood, to present them as objects. I think literature is the best technology we have for representing consciousness, and so I think there’s a kind of intervention that literature can perform in representing sex explicitly: it can reclaim the sexual body as a site of consciousness.
"Embodied porn" is probably the best description I can come up with—I love writing sex precisely because it's such a charged form of communication (Greenwell's words again), because there are things a character can do and say in that context that they never would normally. Like, sex acts are great and all, but what really does it for me is what's going on in their head, what's the history that brought the character to this point, how're they handling the inherent vulnerability and intimacy of this incredibly risky but potentially rewarding moment. Kink (whether through roleplaying, props, costumes, or whatever) is really just another way of adding to that personal meaning, since without the characters' reactions any trappings are meaningless.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of!
Have you ever had a fic translated?
No, although I'd love to work with a translator someday (whether with fic or another context)—I'm fascinated by the inherent puzzles in translating between languages, especially with informal speech and its many idioms and cultural references.
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Not yet! I'd be open to the idea, but it definitely has to be with the right person...
What's your all time favorite ship?
Isn't that basically like asking a mom to choose her favorite kid? Seriously, I like different things about all of them...which one's getting the most attention depends entirely on mood and headspace and other effectively random variables.
What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?
I don't have any I've given up on entirely, yet. Even Waters, as beastly complicated as it is, I've been ruminating on and adding to and arranging in my head lately...
What are your writing strengths?
Atmosphere, character, dialogue. I've said it before, I'm a capital-R Romantic at heart: I love writing settings that reflect and reinforce a character's headspace—while also implying what said character might be missing in their viewpoint.
Something I've noticed—my husband worked for years as a penetration tester, which meant he would regularly have to talk his way past people on a moment's notice. So, unsurprisingly, we both notice people, but he tends to observe their presentation (clothing, accessories, especially ones that're markers of social class and group belonging that allow him to tailor his approach), whereas I notice what they say and how they say it—and, often, what they don't say.
What are your writing weaknesses?
I suddenly feel like I'm in a job interview, haha. Perfectionism is a big one—I have a tendency to feel hopeless and quit if something's taking too long, rather than persisting until I get it sorted, even though some of my best work is stuff where I persisted. Also, I'm big on emotional intensity—which isn't a bad thing, necessarily, but I sometimes read back over my stuff and I'm like "geez, Ambrosia, ease up a bit"...I could definitely use some comic relief in my writing sometimes, but I think I'm often too insecure to try it.
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
I don't have any in particular—I rarely do it myself, because I don't trust myself to do it properly. (Perfectionism again!)
What was the first fandom you wrote for?
Daria, way back in the day. My work is still up on FF.net...sometimes I wonder if anyone's ever going to dig it up and confront me with it, haha. (I doubt anyone will ever care that much...I guess I'm more just curious if my style from twenty years ago is recognizably me.)
What's your favorite fic you've written?
If we're talking about finished fics, probably either "Wake Me Up" or "Young At Heart"—they're both pretty oddball, but both required a fuckton of work and both came out pretty close to what I wanted. But "Waters" is my biggest baby...maybe I'll open up Act III to work on today...
Thanks again for the tag, Ven! I'm going to tag @ihni, @redmyeyes, @twobrokenwyngs, @skybound2, @sambrosia, @shewritesdirty, @introvertia, @coffeeandchemicals, and @anarchist-billy—if you're up for some rumination, I'd love to hear your thoughts on your writing!
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howdy everyone! first monthly update for drgag, but first, thank you all so much for the support thusfar! im crying guys
lets get into it !
november’s been a bit of a hectic month due to the end of my schools semester rounding the corner along with the general chaotic energy of this time of the year, but without further ado!
main takeaways from this month of work has been
-loads of sprites! except. i realized pretty late in the process that i was making them in a very inefficient way and taking like. way longer on each one than i needed to because of this . like
for anyone making fangans as well its really a learning process and mass producing sprites and shit is a PROCESS. but i feel like the easiest way ive found to make different poses nd shit quicker is to like. LABEL my folders . when i make eyes that i know are gonna change i go in and make a folder where ill put all that. and then when it comes to bodies which i didnt think too hard about at first, especially when it comes to arms... like the best thing i think thats streamlined has been to just draw the whole ass torso and render it and THEN add arms to that, rather than drawing the arms and coloring the arms on the same damn layer as everything else... whereas you have to select the arms and then make a new layer and go BACK and recolor the torso bc u fucked up like... yeah....
ive mostly worked on kimiko and itsuki so far because i just love conveying their personalities a lot through their sprites, gonna post a few of my favs-
crackheads. i also made emi sprites but my clip studio file got corrupted? i have to fix that shit msldfkjdf add this to my to do list siri please smflksdf ...ok moving on
-splash art coming along slowly but steadily... will get there eventually its kinda just farther down on my list of priorities rn lol heres a kimiko wip tho
-writing!!! i revised . i HARDCORE revised how i decided to open the game like. shit. fuck. i just had a thought while i was watching nichijou one day and shit i just. damn. i dont wanna say anything bc im like so fucking excited about it but basically it calls for about 30 more scene cgs that i had not prior planned so ive been. grinding so much to try and get those illustrated mkanhuyfysoif but yeah!! i rewrote the whole ass introduction to the prologue god bless . the prologues all done written now but ofc im probs gonna go over it like 60 more times lmao
in other parts of writing i finished about half of the first and third trials, and most of chapter 1′s writing overall... we rlly out here gettin that bread bruh
with writing i guess the biggest thing is like. i have a fuckton of gaps where i just need to put like. the In Between shit mlksdfjiusdf lmao but yeahg. we out here
-programming shit!!! god i . worked on implementing UI into unity and holy shit it was all on fire my pain is immeasurable im not a fucking compsci major fmlkjasuhf98asdofp my compsci major friend was looking over my shoulder the whole time and shaking his head njhysuadgf8sduoifjkdsf but like. basically i figured how to put some basic text box shit up in unity but ive mostly just been grinding away at practicing related C# shit in order to get my life together. also ive been throwing around a lot of UI ideas like
i dont fucking know. i think im gonna have the whole student handbook on the side of it with shortcuts? at least the transcript, save, load, etc commands on the right side of it... also im thinking of making it much more minimalist than how the DR dialogue boxes are usually bc usually theyre like. largely flashy but yknow i . i dont know i just really like how minimalistic UI looks but i may or may not change my mind on this. god skdfjlsdkf
-here have whatever the fuck this is
god okay this got lengthy real quick so imma scuttl away now until next time... thanks yall again for your support!!!! i have some breaks from school soon so hopefully i can like. get a lot more stuff done especially w my sprite epiphanies lmao mlsfkjsdf
goodnight!!
-annie
art up there without text:
d8 night )
#fanganronpa#danganronpa gods at gunpoint#drgag#hanae masaki#keiko ishii#kimiko usui#itsuki nakatsuka#fortnight dances super hard im so sorry this is a mess msdflkjsdf#/long post
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Oh!! 1, 2, 3 of the Fun meta asks for writers. I would love to know the answers to these questions
Fun meta asks for writers!
1. Tell us about your current project(s)
* ACOTS, obviously- I swear to fuck I’m almost done with part 6! I know I keep saying that but I really do mean it!! I broke 2k last night (this morning?) and I’m in the homestretch! I can see the end in sight (literally, since I wrote the end of the chapter before I wrote most of the middle)!! And then after part 6 there’s only like three more chapters. I started writing ACOTS only a little over a year ago and I’m more than halfway through? Fuckin mindblowing.
* I started writing more of the we’re sick (like animals) verse because I love it and technically the beginning of what is published was supposed to be in the middle? But then it was going to be waaay too long so I cut the ‘beginning’ (but still have it in a google doc that I check in on)
(more under the cut bc I actually have a fair bit of wip babies)
* not hockey rpf but I started writing a Teen Wolf fanfic? Despite never watching the show? So my only reference for the fic has been other fanfics. lol. It’s called Scotty Doesn’t Know based on the song by the same name and it’s just a mess of half-written snippets that I’m going to have to glue together at some point
* I want to eventually get around to rewriting (and then finishing? maybe?) my two destiel fics Midnight Blue and Holy Ground. Fun fact- I started writing both of those on Wattpad before I found out about ao3 and every chapter title of HG is a taylor swift song. But they’re both currently up on ao3 if anyone wants to give em a look!
* I have several OG fiction novels I’m trying to write as well. the first one has the working title of Messier 30 (it’s a star cluster near the Capricorn constellation) and it’s supposed to be book 1 in a trilogy. The main character used to be named Charlene-call-me-Charlie Elizabeth Roman but I suddenly had a stroke of ACOTS-fueled need to make her half-russian and changed her name to Anastasyia Viktoriya. Her name/ethnicity change shouldn’t change the plotline itself but I guess we’ll see. the second work is set during a zombie apocalypse with flashbacks to the B.Z. (Before Zombies) era and the early days of the apocalypse. the main character’s mom accidentally created the virus and was Patient Zero so MC carries a fuckton of guilt and also she’s gay and her wife was one of the first ones to go since she was Mom’s second on the project
2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing
ACOTS: copied straight from the outline :) {The Russian word for uncle is ‘дядя’. It sounds almost identical to ‘dada’. Nikita calls him ‘дядя Sid’ one day and Sid just starts bawling, and then Nikita’s bawling because Sid is bawling and there’s so much tears and snot it’s so gross. Nikita is two years old and therefore has no idea that Sid is crying because he doesn’t just want to be Nikita’s “uncle” he wants to be his dad. It’s a good thing both Geno and Anna are old enough to understand. And reassure him that of course he’s also going to be Nikita’s father, what’s the point of him being with Geno and Anna if he’s not?? Sid admits that while he and Kathy didn’t officially break up in 2010 like the rumors said, they did take a break. Because Sid told Kathy that he was starting to have feelings for Geno. Even though he said it didn’t mean anything because he was with Kathy and he loved her and would never do anything to hurt her} and then everyone basically confesses their love for each other and there’s still a lot of crying but this time it’s happy!!
ALSO APPARENTLY I HAVE NINE CHAPTERS OUTLINED?? NOT TEN?? SO AFTER PART 6 IS DONE I’LL BE TWO-THIRDS DONE
WSLA: Sid and Geno getting together and sneaking around and not being subtle at all but everyone humors them anyway
SDK: this scene where Stiles’ dad tells him he knows he and Derek have been dating, which i made up for the specific context for this line: {“Look,” his dad says. “Scott may not have the sense God gave an ant but I haven’t been Sheriff this long just because of my dashing good looks.”}
MB: there’s a scene near the end where a character from Cas’ past comes in and shoots Cas and Mary knocks the shooter out with a cast iron frying pan and John has mega heart eyes and that’s where the reveal that Dean and Cas are married was supposed to happen
HG: I was kinda into crackfic when i started writing this so that’s why it’s like that in the beginning, but the scene i can’t wait for is heartbreaking and not in the fun way. I joke a lot about being super emotional but seriously. i cried during the outline for this scene. I love it so much.
3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need?
well I guess the good thing is I almost always write The Scene first and then I have to write the setup and context. which still kinda sucks, but at least it’s more motivation to write all the other nonsense- and then sometimes I write something in the middle of all the nonsense that almost rivals The Scene?? and that’s my favorite part about writing.
#wtf liz#my writing#hockey rpf#destiel#sterek#my ao3 is purgatorymaybe#I left a couple hockey fics out bc i don't even have outlines yet but please feel free to ask me about those as well
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Draft: A Flight in Winter
So I didn’t have anything planned for the holidays to write but I wanted to share something, so here’s a WIP I had regarding a certain ending for Enderal. It is, by no means, finished and I’m not sure if I will finish it. It’s a jumbled mess and in chunks but a mess I had plodding around my head for quite awhile. Lately, it’s been a struggle to find motivation to create but with this year closing I can try and push that aside and strive for future projects.
Anyway, I hope everyone has a Happy New Year and we will see what the future brings! <3
***********
He heard it first; a bottle shattering against stone. Then a heavy thud of a body.
“What was that?” Sha’Rim raised his hands, aglow in crackling green light.
“Prophetess?” Aranthael turned to the noise.
Jespar followed then saw the crumpled body of their Prophetess behind them.
“Lea!”
He reached her, falling to his knees and cradling her head. Something crunched beneath his knees. The remains of a delicate phial surrounded her like a halo.
************
Jespar blew hard on the whistle. The Myrad above roared in response and began its descent.
The good thing about the Myrad Tower was that the platform had only one way up. But it was twofold. There was no escape either. Nehrimese soldiers noticed their presence and surged to them like an angry wave against the rock. They’d be forced to cone in but who knows how long until their sheer numbers overwhelmed them.
“Fuck!” Tharael sprang to the top step and slashed away at the soldiers. “That thing better hurry the fuck up!”
Calia jumped in, broadsword in hand, and cleaved where Tharael’s twin blades couldn’t reach. Soldiers already pooled and piled down the stairs; others were knocked off entirely, plummeting into the street or ravine beneath the tower.
Jespar blew the whistle again, then grabbed Lea’s bow. He was better with throwing knives but there weren’t nearly enough for the fuckton of soldiers attacking them. Arrows sunk into a wood by his feet and he swung the supple bow towards the enemy archers. Even missed hits would still make them scatter if it meant buying more time.
Finally, strong gusts of wind buffeted their backs until the myrad landed behind them with a heavy, wood splintering thud.
Jespar shouldered the bow, “Everyone up! Now!”
He picked up Lea and threw her on the myrad’s neck. Tharael was beside him in an instant and clambering up the myrad to secure her.
“Keeper! Come on!” Jespar called to Calia who was still cleaving the soldiers. Enough bodies piled to make a small, waist high wall but still the soldiers clawed over their fallen comrades like animals. He could see the shadows flicker around her form. She heaved a final push against some soldiers with the flat of her blade, making them careen and flail back down the stairs. They only had a few precious seconds.
Jespar climbed on and took the helm. Lea’s body heavy against his back. Despite the hard fighting, her breathing was even and deep in sleep.
“Calia!”
What was she doing?! She stood, motionless, sword bloodied and slack in her hands.
“I-“
“Ark, Enderal, is lost! We stay here and we’ll die too!”
Jespar grit his teeth. The soldiers clambered to their feet. The Myrad shuffled restless beneath them and roared at the offenders. An arrow struck the myrad’s leg. A soldier reared back to strike Calia. An arrow sent the attacker reeling and shook the Keeper from her paralysis. Her savior was Tharael, taking over with Lea’s bow and a snarl on his face.
“For fuck’s sake, we will leave you behind!”
Calia finally scrambled on behind Tharael as the Myrad’s wings rose, then bore down with a mighty rush. Jespar hoped everyone clung on for dear life as the Myrad took off from the platform. He could hear someone below screaming, “Shoot them down!” but the arrows bounced off the feathery hide. For a terrible second, he could see sickly green light in the distance. The entropist. But in a few, tense moments, they rose above the city.
Then they headed west. West. And away.
***********
This isn’t real.
There it was. That voice. But it was…her voice. She looked around the Golden Queen’s throne room. Nobles, mages, and eunich’s in silken garb filled the space, but, non spoke in the urgency that the voice, her voice, spoke.
You need to wake up.
“Why? What do you mean?”
One of the mages beside her with a golden piercing through his nose and an oily beard looked at her with furrowed brows. She shut her mouth and quickly turned away.
They can’t hear me. Only you.
“What do you want? Who are you?”
Lea spoke in hushed whispers, trying to act nonchalant as the party mulled around her. She lost sight of Jespar and it was a unique moment to herself not to be prodded with questions regarding Enderal.
Isn’t it obvious? I’m you. The real you.
************
Lea bolts upright; for a moment, all she heard were jumbled voices and a violet “rush” like waves crashing against rock.
Pain, white hot as the sun, flared through her entire body. Gods, she was on fire.
She screamed and screamed until her throat and lungs gave out.
Then, like a switch, all became silent and black.
#enderal#fanfiction#essywrites#this probably breaks so much canon but I dont care at this point#also thinking about making a seperate blog just for writing since that seems to be a common theme#thoughts?#anyway happy new year vynblr!
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fic author meme
tagged by both @marywhal and @androidsfighting! thanks lads!!!
your name: ginny k. terezis, my full legal name. the “k” stands for kravitaz. which is my twitter handle. did you think it stood for kravitz??? pathetic
fandoms you write for: the adventure zone: balance! that’s it! there was also a brief but passionate period of time where i wrote a lot of twilight fanfiction, but that era of my life is thankfully behind me.
where you post: here on tumblr, mostly, but almost everything gets cross-posted to ao3 eventually. i also toss out ideas that could become fic into this tag, but none of it is polished work!
most popular one shot: tea and cookies, weirdly enough? it’s the first fic i ever posted to ao3, but it also has five times more hits than anything i’ve put up since, LOL. a good start! otherwise maybe this little guy.
most popular multi chapter story: i am not yet disciplined enough to handle multi-chapter fics we don’t have to talk about it
favorite story you’ve written: prince of thieves! i’m still proud of that one.
story you were nervous to post: tea and cookies, probably? or maybe from memory, by heart, which was the second fic i ever posted. i made some Choices in that one, for sure. i don’t know if i still agree with those choices, but i'm glad i worked up the nerve to keep postin’ :p
how do you choose titles: haphazardly! and usually with help from friends.
do you outline: usually i’ll scratch out a few lines of dialogue to get a sense of where the scene is going? and then from there i can just start writing. for longer stuff i do more formal outlines, yes :0
how many of your stories are complete? s...seven? ao3 says seven. more on tumblr, probably. i’m going to guess and say. fourteen. is that right???
how many of your stories are in progress? ok i’m only going to count stuff i’ve posted about or else we’d be here all day. there’s the one where taako and kravitz get drunk married in goldcliff... there’s my adventure bang fic, which weirdly enough also involves accidental marriage? i promised a sequel to prince of thieves a long time ago and i have like five different notepad docs saved with stuff for that, but i’m still having trouble making it work... same for requiem.
OH ALSO THE GAME. the game does not have a name yet but i’ve been calling it crystalquest on all relevant documents. that makes five? five.
coming soon: c r y s t a l q u e s t. four out of eight maps are done! that’s half! oh my god.
do you accept prompts? always but whether u will get actual writing or a fuckton of bullet points is anyone’s guess
upcoming story you’re most excited to write? that’s a secret!!!!!!!!!! but i should probably finish those some of those wips first.
tagging: i think everyone i know has been tagged already??? @anonymousalchemist @desiree-harding-fic ???????????? i love u
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Weird question, and it's perfectly okay if "I don't know" is your answer: How did you manage to do grad school AND finish writing so many good fics? I'm writing the lit review for my dissertation right now, and I want to finish several WIPs I have (if nothing else, just to prove to myself that I can), but it just feels like I can barely do either, much less both. Any advice at all?
Ah, no worries! It’s not that odd a question. Actually, someone’s asked me before ^^; My reply to them at the time was here. No need to read it, but it’s some context?
My reply now that my head is in a healthier place is... long and winding and not actually full of that much advice but eh, I rambled as I do. If you just want the advice, scroll all the way down and it’s there.
For starters, I’m not a normal comparison point. This isn’t to pat myself on the back, but for a variety of reasons, writing is something that comes really naturally to me. I’ll detail those reasons, but before I get into that, the point I’m illustrating here is that... sometimes I think people compare themselves to how much I wrote and what else I accomplished in that time and think “hey cool - that is a function human! Why can’t I do that?” And the answer is short answer is that my brain is programmed for pretty much one thing, and that thing is writing writing, and holy crap I was the opposite of a functional human when writing that much and that quickly.
The long answer is -
I’ve been making up stories literally as long as I can remember. I spent my childhood consuming stories. I taught myself to read and was during school I was consistently reading about 8 grade levels above my reading level, and loved learning about narrative structure. I annoyed the shit out of my older brother by reading the same book series as he read, but guessing plot points that were going to happen either in that book or else 2-3 books out. he didn’t get how I would just know and I’d be like “it’s obvious - that’s where the story has to go!” Because I was imagining it in my head - what i would do with it, where it would go, where it had to go. Closing the page mid0chapter and imagining the next-scene, and then picking back up to see how right or wrong I was.
And I had a best friend for most of my childhood through to early adulthood with whom I made stories. Every weekend, creating narratives together, not writing them down but basically roleplaying them by talking them out (voices and all, it was a heck of a lot of fun, as much as it made me pretty much the nerdiest teen in existence). We tried to write a novel when we were 12, got about 7 chapters in. We had a lot of starts and stops on other stories too.
Which isn’t said to stroke my own ego, it’s said to highlight that I have a metric fuckton of explicit and implicit practice at storytelling. It was and sort of is my “whole life”. I also had teachers that helped me develop storytelling skills, and was really freaking lucky to go to a school with an AP program for English that seriously stretched my ability to write fast. We had to write an essay every single class, during class, and have it finished by the end of class (or in less time if we had lecture stuff to go over too) in my last year of high school. The essays could be creative response (i.e., short stories). I wrote a short story almost every week in the space of an hour when I was 17. By the time I got to the end of year final and actually got to use a computer and type that shit instead of hand-cramping halfway through, I somehow managed to write the two-essay final in the allotted 3 hours and, i shit you not, had a wordcount of 6000 words.
That’s still my record. It was probably a dumpster fire but I got 100% probably for sheer volume.
Anyway that was over a decade ago, but the whole reason this life story is pertinent is because -
I have practice. The only way to improve at anything, to get faster at it, for it to ease, is to practice. Practice at storytelling, practice at having to set a scene using just words sitting in my BFF’s room and trying to describe the image I had in my head for how I wanted her to see the scene as it was playing out. Practice at writing fast and getting feedback on how to write. Practice implicitly at trying to imagine what routes stories can take. Practice taking stories apart and piecing them back together, in my head, all the time.
So that’s part of it.
The other part, and this is what I said in my previous post, was depression. I was seriously fucking burnt out and depressed when I started writing coldflash fic, and grad school took a huge toll on my mental health. It’s easier to write when you’re doing it to procrastinate working on your dissertation, and easier to keep writing when you get positive feedback and it feeds those lovely dopamine gremlins in your brain who aren’t getting any positive validation from grad school because holy damn that shit is hard.
I had no balance in my life for a long time. It wasn’t good. I went to counselling. I got more balance. Fic slowed down. Still finished, but not 120k words in 3 months (that was the pace when I started fic writing...jfc I don’t know how I managed.) Life got harder. Fic was now harder to write. I got more counselling. Fic was easier to write. I moved around the world. Fic got harder to write. I started anti-depressants. Narratives now seem to be flowing again.
Regardless of the state of my mental health though, I’ve never written as much as quickly as I did during the middle of grad school. And I think that’s because I was very narratively pent up when I started writing fic. I had been so busy and pushing myself so damn hard in grad school that I didn’t make almost any time for stories, for fic, for imagining my own stories. I was suppressing that side of myself in the service of Focus. So when I burnt out, my narrative side rebounded and said “fuck that noise, I still exist, and we’re making space for me”. It took over. I came literally a hair’s breadth from quitting my PhD post candidacy. Idk what type of program you’re in, but business schools in North America? It’s a 5 year PhD typically, and I was at the end of year 3 and eyeing the door.
Anyway - I say all that because -
I am not a good example and you should not do what I did. Finishing that many long WIPs that quickly wasn’t healthy, and was only possible because I didn’t do much else at the time, and had a lifetime of practice and a narrative rebound to make it even possible.
But -
My actual advice?
1) Practice. Practice. Practice.
Not all at once, but everything counts. Daydreaming counts. Watching shows and thinking of how they could be improved counts. Talking out story ideas with friends counts. Just make it fun. Practice is something we think of as arduous and annoying. Learning new words is practice. Meeting new people and considering their traits is practice. Everything can be practice for writing. All the research you do can be practice for writing. (Random note: a childhood coping mechanism for anxiety that I had was to narrate what I was doing to myself in my head in the 3rd person. Like telling a story of myself walking to gym class in my own head. That was also practice.)
2) Have fun with it!
Don’t making writing an obligation. Then it’s another thing on the list of things you avoid. Finishing stories often feels like an obligation. I’m going through this right now with Needs Must. It can be hard to complete a WIP because you start to have internal anxieties about disappointing readers, not living up to expectations, exhaustion from that narrative, distraction / temporary loss of interest (which is normal! and not actually a bad thing!). All of that then makes you feel guilty, which makes it impossible to get into a creative space to write. You can’t work on the thing you’re avoiding.
3) It’s okay to give your WIPs breathing space.
When you hit a wall, you may need to set it aside and read it again in a month with fresh eyes. You may need to treat your story like someone else’s story. That’s, again, literally where I’m at right now with Needs Must. I just reread a bunch of it and hadn’t really forgotten the details but once they’re on the page they’re out of my head, and so taking some time before going back to reread it made it easier for me to think of like I think of every other story: “what would I do next with this? Oh that’s a twist, that needs to come back later. There’s a theme here, we’ve seen that three times. What’s the best ending I, as a reader now, can imagine for this?”
If avoidance, guilt, and/or writer’s block aren’t your issue, and it’s literally just down to time management -
4) Your graduate degree is more important than your WIPs.
Your WIPs aren’t going anywhere, they don’t have a deadline, and your readers will wait for you, and new ones will find you. Time management is an essential, awful, part of being an academic.
I get more done, both at work and creatively on fic, when I’m just a bit too busy, but that’s me. Figure out what is optimal for you, and do it. When do you get the most writing done? When you’re relieved? When you’re anxious? Late at night? First thing in the morning? When does it flow? When won’t it ruin your graduate career?
(Seriously I was writing fic at work last week and was kicking myself. I don’t have time for that shit! Set boundaries on your time!)
But full serious here, graduate school is exhausting, and almost inherently de-motivating, and even the best damn students eye the door a lot of the time, even if they do finish. It’s stressful and you feel constantly powerless. It’s a lot to need to cope with. I found writing to be a way to cope. That lit review you’re working on? Yeah, it’s zapping your time and energy. That’s normal (unfortunately). And it’s good to give yourself breaks from that to write. Don’t feel guilty for taking time here and there for yourself - to write, or to not write. To relax, unplug, unwind. To close your eyes and daydream (if you’re me) or have a bubble bath (if you’re my sister), or do whatever helps you honestly, genuinely destress. The best thing you can do for both writing and for graduate school is to take breaks and take time for yourself. There is actual science on the importance of breaks, and academics are fucking notorious for putting too much pressure on themselves to actually relax.
5) If you’re burnt out and/or depressed - seek help!
Most universities have resources for mental health! Talk to a doctor! Don’t put too much stress and pressure on yourself! Almost half of grad students are mentally ill at some point!
6) Talk out your stories with friends!
I know I already said this under “practice” but having a fandom friend to bounce ideas with and cheer you on is amazing and essentially. I was in constant contact with Bealeciphers when I started writing, and now I have a different friend who’s helped me the past couple years with writing and developing my stories. Mostly they cheer me on, and when I’m stuck, I tell them where the story is going and what I need help with. But honestly, writing doesn’t need to happen in a vacuum and doesn’t need to be you hunched over a laptop in the dark all alone and staring blankly at a screen (I’m definitely not projecting here, no siree). It’s amazing how motivating it is and how much it can help you stay on track to check in regularly with other writing friends!
7) Pick your battles.
You say you have a... couple(?) of WIPs? How many are you juggling? Is it too many? Do you need to set one (or two??) aside? When my steam was slowly and AATJS and Tumbling Together started to feel like a chore, I set TT aside and took a month break from AATJS then dived right back into AATJS (with the help of the friend mentioned above, cheering me on) because I knew it would be the harder one to finish, and the one that I feared I’d never finish if I put it aside too long. I tackled the biggest hurdle first. If that’s the type of thing for you, I recommend it. Pick the story that’s either the most or least likely to get finished, and focus your energy there.
Another battle-picking thing here? It’s okay to outsource. I’m terrible for not using a proofreader beta. It’s a weird control thing, despite the fact that I love people pointing out typos in my works so I can freaking fix them. The point here is: don’t be like me. If you suck at finding your own typos, use a beta or proofreader. My writer friend who helps me helps when I get stuck. I help them when they need feedback on specific scenes and tones, and I’ve recently discovered they hate editing (I love editing) so this entertains me to no end. Just - you don’t have to do it all yourself. If you feel like you do, see points 5 and 6 again.
Aaaannnddd that’s that. Whew. I just spent... wow, too long on this. I spent as much time on this as I did on my own grad student’s lit review I was providing feedback on today ^^; #whoops
#redhead vs. writing#long post#long post for ts#phyn rambles#writing advice#depression tw#ask to tag#Anonymous
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Writer Process Tag
I saw this recently floating around and felt compelled to do it. I’ve tagged a few people at the bottom, to maybe start a tag train?
Apologies if this has already made the rounds and I just missed it. Anyway here we go…
1. What are your favorite genres and/or styles to write in?
Shit, dude. I have no idea, if I’m being honest. I’m really bad with genres when it comes to fiction, like I genuinely never know what’s classified as what. The story I’ve been working on the longest could (I think) be classified under Fantasy/Sci-fi. But I’ve dabbled in all kinds of genres over the years - fantasy, sci-fi, gothic horror, historical, contemporary…
2. What was the last writing project you finished and felt successful with?
I basically never finish any of my projects, but I did write a little 20k fic last winter that I was pretty pleased with. It’s not posted anywhere cause it’s for like an extremely rare ship and I wrote it primarily for my best friend who’s also into the ship. I re-read it recently and honestly, it wasn’t too shabby. *pats self on back*
3. If you have a WiP how do you feel it’s going? What stage are you in?
I have too many WIPs (some fics for various ships/fandoms, some original content) - But the one I’m most focused on at the moment is Harringrove and it’s nearly 100k. I’m very overwhelmed by it right now. I did like zero planning on it and it’s kind of gotten out of hand. Please send help.
4. What are your favorite places to write?
Curled up on my couch, at a coffee shop, at the park…I’m not all that picky.
5. Do you prefer to write with long hand or type? Or some other method?
Type. My brain goes too fast for me to write by hand, I also backtrack A Lot and I hate pencils so if I wrote everything by hand one page would end up being just a fuckton of scribbles and maybe four actual sentences.
6. Do you remeber your first character? If so can we meet them?
Honestly, no? I’ve been writing since I could read basically and have very few coherent memories of my childhood, and I haven’t held onto everything I’ve ever written. >.<
7. Where do you get your inspiration?
All kinds of things. Books, film, music, nature, people-watching, personal experiences…
8. Do you outline a story before writing it, or does it all live in your head until the first draft gets put down?
I’m really bad about outlining, so most of the time it just stays in my head until I finally sit down to write it out. That’s why I rarely finish anything longer than maybe 10k, and why I lose track of where I’m going once I get in too deep.
9. Where do you go/ What do you do when you’re feeling stuck?
My whole life has been a struggle with writer’s block. I tend to just bang my head against my desk a lot and then walk away to do literally anything else until I feel ready to try again.
10. What got you started writing/doing Art? (Because I always love origin stories)
Not really a compelling origin story but I was making up stories before I could even read or write. My siblings and I played a lot of games where we pretended to be made-up characters and run around our yard defeating evil or whatever. So when I started reading, I just kind of naturally fell into writing alongside it.
I’m going to tag some people that I know for sure write things, but if you see this and you write things please consider yourself tagged - @letshargroovetonight @stranger-ships @billys-camaro @flippyspoon @hoppnhorn @casualtornado @brawlite @heart-eyes-harrington
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end of the year writing meme 2k17
because i did this last year and i want to gloat over my truly embarrassing uptick in wordcount.
Total number of completed stories: 8 + 1 wip + 1 snippet.
Total word count: 151,100, MOTHERFUCKER.
Fandoms: voltron, persona 5, natsume’s book of friends.
Overall Thoughts
Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted? TOO MUCH VOLTRON. WAY, WAY TOO MUCH VOLTRON.
What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? i have 40k of lotor/matt sitting on my hard drive. it's going to break 60k after edits. i don't want this life.
What's your own favorite of the year? the post-series winter cult au was my favorite bit of writing, but i am gonna clutch the pseudo-utena pastiche (disclaimer: not actually related to utena in any way) to my chest all the more because nobody else will. 36K WORDS, MOTHERFUCKERS.
Did you take any writing risks this year? mmm. i've used the second-person pov before to varying degrees of efficacy, but the junior detective kurusu akira fic and the every day au were the first times i really tried to use it as a proper conceit -- a choice that related to the way the character wanted the story framed. ymmv on how well they worked (ha! ha! most of the second-person punch in the junior detective fic happens in the ~20k after the prologue, oh god, nobody even knows what i'm talking about). at the v. least, i still think the every day au's ending wouldn't pack such a punch from any other perspective.
Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? WRITE STUFF THAT ISN'T VOLTRON, FOR FUCK'S SAKE. i've been reduced to just clawing at doors hissing LET ME GO... LET MY PEOPLE GO ...
From my past year of writing, what was...
My best story of this year: definitely the post-series winter cult. people keep describing it as hard to get into, which, yeah, it is. but it's also the most polished piece from this year.
in general, my best fic is always still the dazai/yosano thing from 2016. i didn't even round out all the subplots for that one, but because it's a crack ship, the whole dynamic is something i made, and i think that earns it a place on the trophy shelf.
My most popular story of this year: the shrine guardian au, i guess? which is bewildering, frankly: it's very fluffy, but i don't see that it does anything better than my other works. not to be all lucille bluth, i love all my children equally!!! and its prose is fine, but i wouldn't call it a standout piece.
Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: it is a tie between my two big voltron aus -- i understand why the pseudo-utena flopped as hard as it did (60k worth of fic crammed into 36k, badly edited, had to cut two subplots and it still turned out a mess), but the darkest timeline auniverse fic was decent work with mediocre prose and a fuckton of worldbuilding. i'm this close to digging up a worldbuilding meme and answering all the questions that literally nobody will ever ask. THERE WAS SO MUCH TIMELINE BUILDING IN THAT ONE.
Most fun story to write: fun & joy are lies. all fic is suffering. only the motor fic came close, and that was awful in a different way: two characters with little established personality having to build chemistry and worldbuilding at the same time. fuck you both.
Story with the single sexiest moment: hilariously, despite the amount of porn i like to write, none of my fic's been personally sexy to me since 2013's mikorei pwp in which mikoto blew up some buildings and then convinced munakata to fuck him into a wall. what can i say, i'm an arson kind of girl.
Most "holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story: nothing posted this year! but i'm gonna talk about my impending january posts because god, fuck, i'm not waiting a year so that i can talk excitedly about my 60k nightmare, i plan to be fucking burned out on voltron by february.
anyway: the first time i tried to explain lotor/matt to my best girl, she promptly texted back in horror: "DID YOU WRITE FIC WHERE LOTOR SOULBONDS MATT AND LEAVES HIM TO GET GANGBANGED." and, like. i want to explain, but the actual explanation wasn't really that much more comforting. so, there'll be that. i guess.
(there's actually no non-con involved! it's not even dubcon! IT'S NOT EVEN MATT WHO GETS LEFT.)
Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: the fucking motor fic. i knew what i liked about lotor as i was going in -- 90% of my motivation in writing it was "okay, i can't make any of the existing major lotor ships work for me, let's just throw this ridiculous spaghetti galra at a shipping wall and see what sticks" -- but matt was much more nebulous to me. i know fanon matt isn't all that far off from the matt we actually saw in season 4, but i was interested in someone who wasn't an older, cheerful, ingenious, meme-loving version of pidge. and the detail that i really got stuck on was the fact that he was a cadet when he went to kerberos, even though keith was the best pilot in his class and keith couldn't go. why?
obviously the simpler answer's "narrative convenience" and "why would anyone trust keith enough to send him into space with millions of dollars' worth of space equipment". but i really did want to play with the alternative too.
Hardest story to write: fucking god. the european travelogue was downright awful to get out. i think it's partly that there's an emotional density to it that isn't really present in my other fic, and partly that it's 25K OF SHIRO DESCRIBING ARCHITECTURE THAT IS PERFECTLY EASY FOR ANYBODY TO GOOGLE AND LOOK AT WITH THEIR OWN EYES.
i also found sheith particularly hard to build as a convincing slowburn. i have no idea how anyone does it. the ship's selling point, to me, is that keith would give shiro anything. if shiro weren't romantically interested, keith would live and die for him in every other way and be absolutely satisfied by that. i never write keith as secretly wanting more than shiro can give -- he'll do it by accident, when he misunderstands what shiro's capable of, but ultimately that's not what keith wants himself to be. shiro plays by the rules a little better, understands the risks + selfishness of dating someone only to leave them for a dangerous ten-month expedition -- but when it comes down to it, i can't write them as anything other than two people who understand each other at the baseline, where it counts. like, shiro may not actively acknowledge it, but i don't think he DOESN'T know that keith has no breaking point when it comes to him, and that there is very unlikely to be anyone else who could ever be what shiro is to him.
anyway: 25k of no-plot fluff! jesus! it was a fun little experiment, and i'm still amazed and delighted that anyone hunted my tumblr down to ask for fic. but i'll probably never write anything like that again.
Biggest disappointment: can you believe that i wrote 36k of psychic bonding fic and it didn't lead to telepathic porn? there's a lot in the utena pastiche that made me go "mm, not enough", a lot that was flatly messy first-draft fumbling, and i've never been happy about how it turned out, but that's still the biggest outrage to me. like. what was even the point. there's so much about it that makes me itch to rewrite, but the number-one reason that i never, ever will is that i'd have to find somewhere to fit porn to make it worth my time AND SOME THINGS ARE JUST IMPOSSIBLE.
Biggest surprise: i!! posted!! 100k+ words!!!!!!! WITH OVERFLOWING PUNCTUATION BECAUSE I DESERVE IT, MOTHERFUCKER. ficwise, though -- the lotor/matt au. why the fuck would you ship two characters who literally have no screen time together, share nothing in common, and are unlikely to develop a dynamic in future seasons, let alone this one?
answer:
ME: You have to promise to read the Lotor/Matt thing even though I've realised that their portmanteau is "Motor".
MY GIRL: WELL now i have to read it
ME:
ME: Never mind, your boner killed mine.
but the joke's on me, because the one way to guarantee that i'll write something is a hot girl telling me she'll read it.
i love how most of this meme is grim self-encouragement to finish a fic that feels like it is literally killing me by dint of being the longest goddamn thing i've written in my life.
Most unintentionally telling story: well, it was GONNA be the junior detective kurusu akira fic, but i DIDN'T FINISH THAT.
on a more personal note: the every day au's ending was never in question for me. i'm rarely in the mood for conversation, but i can't stand keeping my feelings to myself: i don't feel real unless someone else can see me. it's why i like to yell in my post tags and do memes even though i follow like three actual personal blogs and a significant portion of this tumblr's designed to actively discourage 90% of people who stumble across it from adding me. the idea that, when you strip the viewer out, the object disappears -- that's probably as 'me' as a story gets.
Highlights + Wrap-up
Favourite Opening Lines (3):
The courthouse's a brushfire of camera lenses.
You wake up. [ ed. nt: not really the most unique or interesting of opening lines, but i've started to appreciate how this echoes throughout the piece and then builds into a clusterfuck chorus by the end. ]
[ nope. the other first lines weren't that great. fuck you, meme.]
Favorite 5 Line(s) Ficbits from Anywhere: [ ed. nt: fuck you, word limits & punctuation. ]
"I knew you were gone—long gone. No one could've called you back. But I just kept saying—if they were really Voltron, you'd be with them. You'd have come back for me."
"You stand," Allura whispers, "on territory that was consecrated by the five rituals of essential transference. You stand within the walls that my grandfather built, the walls for which my father sacrificed everything to keep from enemy dominion. The planet Altea remains because I lay claim to it, because I have not yielded to time and I will not yield. You may have served as Zarkon's witch; but in these halls, your very life hangs on Altea's mercy, my mercy. Either you'll remember an Altean's manners or a prisoner's—but so long as you speak to me, Haggar, you will choose one." -- so this fic was a series of dramatic triumphs that i did not build up to and therefore had no right to put in, but i don't care. if i'm going to write 100k++ of fic in a year, it's gonna be spread out over like ten different fics. and this is my favorite of the dramatic non-love confessional speeches that i wrote this year.
Keith lisps briefly and nastily under his breath. "Why would anyone pronounce an apostrophe?” <-- me throwing shade at a hundred years of scifi.
[ fuck you, listicles. ]
[ fuck you pt. 2. all the other sentences sucked. ]
Trivia left out of three fic:
pidge survives the events of the every day au and does eventually go on to form voltron. i left the fic where i did as a dramatic stopping point; in my head, i always knew where things were going to go afterwards. this clarity was helped in no small part because i had to immediately spill my guts to my best girl after she finished reading and realised in outrage that i'd given her a 19k fic in which her otp kissed zero (0) times. but yeah, everything works out -- albeit with a superdose of trauma -- and keith and pidge in particular have a moment which appeals to all my friendship kinks. i couldn't write the sequel in second-person, though, which is probably why i'll never do it. if i can't be pretentious and tragic, and i still can't work in any porn, then what is the point.
shiro, in the weird tattoo porn thing, has no idea of the effect he's having. in his mind, he's just being reasonable. this ties into my preference for writing s3-4!shiro as someone who thinks of himself as the same man who fell to earth a year ago, someone who has survived the galra over and over, someone who wants to lead in the war and deserves to do it. the trouble with this is that about one-point-five of those things are not necessarily things that the original shiro actually believes. i love this discrepancy between writing the two: there's one who buys into his own mythology of being a hero, and there's one who just wants everyone to survive and be happy and safe.
in an ideal world (note: ideal to nobody but me), project kuron would be a thing where they created a perfect clone of shiro with all his memories but accidentally infused it with just enough galra beliefs about strength and the importance of war that it sabotages voltron's mission. that particular shiro doesn't mean to be fucked up, but his beliefs are, and he doesn't realise it until after the fallout of everything he's done hits the team. it's the entire basis for his behavior afterwards. this is one of those character development things that fell into the margins between the tattoo porn and its weird au sequel. i should have written the fic in between, i'm sure it would've been less confusing for everyone who read the goddamn sequence, but honestly, you could not pay me enough to write about keith and shiro's relationship falling apart.
this was never made explicit in the fic itself, though it seems pretty clear to me, but here goes. of the ten photographs, nine are pictures that shiro takes for keith to remember them by. the last is one that keith takes for shiro.
Lessons learned about writing in 2017:
when in doubt during edits, read the paragraph out loud. you don't have to do it very loudly, but people respond to something that flows off the tongue even if they aren't actually reading it out to themselves.
you're a niche writer. you write for you. that means you don't really have to edit if you're tired.
deadlines are bullshit. don't sign up for any more events featuring those.
with the way i write, there's always an element of mistrust. in my shorter fics, people are breaking up because they can't trust each other, or they're teetering on the brink of getting together -- but. in my longer fics, i really, really love to throw an unexplained element of mistrust into the mix (see: the fic where shiro leaves his own dimension and refuses to go back without any explanation) and only 'reveal 'it at the end. mistrust is an easy shortcut to tension. it's a good way to reframe the story, but it's also ... hm. predictable if it's literally all you write? i like to think that i'm capable of writing plots whose value isn't entirely based on the way they're told. i just need to let the story breathe once in a while.
the comma before 'too' is grammatically incorrect when that's the end of the sentence. my entire life is a goddamn lie.
there's such a thing as overdetail. a loose sketch and a twinkle of atmosphere will do better than three dense paragraphs detailing exactly where all the cathedrals are. my god, i never want to leave this continent again.
the best writing feeling is posting something and then tweaking all the small mistakes out of it. the second-best writing feeling is bringing someone you like a freshly-killed (read: edited) piece of prose, then demanding pets and cuddling for your great act of magnimity and courage.
looking back on my life, i should have been born a cat.
Fic-writing goals for 2018
post/finish all 80k of my existing drafts, THEN LEAVE VOLTRON FOREVER, I'M SO DARKLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS EXODUS.
seriously, write for any fandom but voltron. oh my god.
maybe i can just dive headfirst into ocean's eight and write a lot of bantery f/f until everyone forgets my embarrassing gay robolion phase.
a sci-fi au for nirvana in fire, heavily influenced by recent military scifi, in which (contrary to all the imperial death traditions) the chiyan army's memories and consciousness are ostensibly deleted from the imperial archives as punishment for their betrayal. several years down the line, jingyan finds his political influence rising with the advice of a helpful and very insistent ai advisor. IT'S TOO COMPLICATED AND I'M STILL THINKING ABOUT IT.
did you know that the natori/matoba section on ao3 has no explicit fic at all? like, zero. 2018 goals, baby. i don't care that nobody needs to know what horrible things they'd do to each other in bed. i'm gonna be this ship's rule 34, or the arsonist who burns down the house of the person who gets to it before me.
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List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on. This can be writing, art, vids, gifsets, whatever.
Tagged by @elrhiarhodan. I saw that I was tagged and couldn’t stop laughing. I have so many wips. SO MANY. I’m putting this under a read more because It’s so damn long.
Tagging: whoever wants to play. I have no idea who has wips these days. D:
*stretches* *cracks knuckles*
Okay, let’s get down to business.
Works in Progress
1. Coldflash Winter Exchange 2017 fic. Fandom: The Flash.
No details on this. Top secret. Going to be much longer than I hoped, I’m sure.
2. Bodyswap AU - Fandom: The Flash. I started writing this for the Bodyswap prompt of Coldflash Week A 2017. This is the story where Barry and Len switch bodies because of a meta, learn to deal with each other’s shortcomings, and fall in love while arguing about who is keeping Barry’s body because neither of them want to wake up with a back ache in the morning. It has one of my favorite lines in it, and I think it’s going to end up a little lighter than most of my stories? Len is definitely more playful than my usual way of writing him.
Word Count: 1,200. It’ll probably end up in the 15k-20k range, because I’ve forgotten what it is to write something short.
3. Squeaky Bed Porn - Fandom: The Flash. I started writing this because I wanted to write a silly sex scene that wasn’t hampered by canon. Len crawls through Barry’s bedroom window after a rough mission with the Legends. Barry wants to get intimate, and Len doesn’t want Joe West to shoot him. This was the story I was writing when I realized I’m bad at writing porn. D:
Word Count: 1,500 words. Would probably be around 3k if I just re-read it and finished the porn. There’s literally no plot. Still not likely to finish it, tbh.
4. Farther Than Everything - Fandom: The Flash. This was going to be my Coldflash big bang before I was overwhelmed with work and depression and stopped writing for a couple of months entirely. Barry sacrificed himself in the Crisis and has been in the Speed Force. When he finally breaks out, he discovers the sun is gone and the world is broken into tribes ruled by villains -- Central, of course, belongs to Captain Cold. This one came out of a dream like, three years ago? It was right after the fever dream of writing BuotI, but I couldn’t figure out how to make it work. I think I’m closer now.
Word Count: 400. It’s literally the first hint of the first scene. This’ll be another long one.
5. Untitled Porn - Fandom: The Flash. Does anyone remember A Cold Encounter? And how, last November, I promised there would be a second chapter of porn? THIS IS IT. Barry returns Len’s clothes and decides to give their thing a try. I have been writing on this for a year, feeling intensely guilty for every day that passed without adding more to it. The first draft is done, so this one is ready for editing and will be posted soon! Yay!
Word Count: 8,100. It’s literally talking and sex. My god, why is it so long?
6. Untitled Hannukah Fic - Fandom: The Flash. This is the next story in my holiday series. I meant to write this for last Hannukah, but, uh. Obviously that didn’t pan out. Barry is having problems hiding their relationship from Joe, so Len takes things into his own hands.I only have one or two more in this series planned? But this one has been giving me the runaround.
Word Count: 400. But I know where it’s going, so that’s something, right? I’m going to circle Hannukah on my calendar this year and get it done by then.
7. i dreamed of snow (I call that loving you) - Fandom: The Flash. Remember that AU I wrote where Barry has two soulmates? Coldwestallen. The story in which Iris struggles to accept the bond Barry has with Len, Len wonders why Barry couldn’t just let him die, and Barry feels like he can’t give either of the people he loves anything they need. TBH, I wasn’t going to write any more for this au? But Barry clung in the back of my head, and whenever I’m not focused on something specific, it’s there.
Word Count: 160. Definitely at the beginning, and who knows how long it’s going to be? Not me!
8. Resonance - Fandom: The Flash. Ah, this story. This is my soulmate AU love letter to coldflash. I haven’t updated it since, jeez. April? But that doesn’t mean I’m not working on it. Leonard Snart meets Barry Allen when he’s 23 and Barry is five. It changes the course of his life. I don’t even know what to say about it, other than I have everything up to season 1 outlined? It’s going to involve a slightly different Legends crew, a different origin to the names Heatwave and Captain Cold, a very different STAR Labs, an angry Eobard Thawne and a Barry who is intensely in love with Len, which is terrible because Len is absolutely oblivious. So, yes. I... may also have elements I want to introduce in season 2? AM I GOING TO REWRITE THE ENTIRE SHOW? I HAVE NO IDEA. Anyway, I’m working on Chapter 6 right now (that’s going to be at least 10k, guys, since everyone’s been waiting so long.)
Word Count: 22k. We haven’t even begun. *_____*
9. Trade All My Tomorrows - The Flash. I started writing this story sometime when S3 of the flash was airing, but it was based off a prompt that joyouslee left me, about what happened to the rogues after flashpoint. The idea behind this one is that Len regains his memories from Doctor Alchemy, so that he remembers the original timeline, where he died -- the Flashpoint timeline, where he was Citizen Cold and Lisa was murdered by the Rogues -- and the current timeline, in which he has never had a sister and has lived his life trying to escape the reach of his father. And he’s willing to do anything to get his sister back. This story will eventually include the Legion of Doom, the Legends, and a fuckton of time travel, as soon as I can get my butt in gear.
Word Count: 6,700. No idea what the ending word count is going to be, for real.
I do have a slew of others that I have in a list and that I don’t have an active word count on yet: The Silent Hill AU (where Barry deals with some serious guilt) the Conjuring AU (where the West family is suffering under a haunting and get help from Lisa, who’s psychic, and Len, who protects her when she gets in over her head), several different tumblr prompts, including the newest one, which would be a new story for the JLA verse. There’s the No Powers story where Barry and Iris are reporters together and Len is a cop with a secret. SO MANY. SO LITTLE TIME. *cries into my hands*
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What I’m Writing meme, belated edition
Do Dis: List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on. This can be writing, art, vids, gifsets, whatever.
So on the one hand, I have a ton of things cooking in my brain. On the other hand, almost all of my writing juice is going to professional work (academic, not fiction) so I have been less than adept at the act of wordsing. But here goes. I will follow the template established by @coloredink, who tagged me:
What I am actively working on:
* An as-yet-still-untitled Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries poly fic for @havingbeenbreathedout, who was my top bidder in @fandomtrumpshate. This one has involved a lot of prep work: I have a detailed scene-by-scene plan, and I read some early 20th c. Australian literature to try to get a handle on the narrative voice (POV character is Mac, the fabulous lady doctor) as well as doing some *koff* canon research. But I am finally starting to, you know, write.
What I am not actively producing text for but thinking about a lot:
* The War At Home, a gen casefic about the serial murder of Iraq war veterans in London. (Sherlock, but so is everything other than the one MFMM fic above.) I started writing this in fall of 2013, when I had three works posted to AO3 (one of which was a WIP) and I have a ways to go yet, but it definitely in progress. This one has taken a fuckton of research and planning.
What I am gonna work on someday, in probable order of production:
* An also-still-untitled fairy tale fusion with Hansel and Gretel for @asteroiddynamics, who was my second-highest bidder in FTH and wanted another naturalist (i.e. non-magical) Sherlockian recasting of a classic fairy tale, in the manner of the Little Mermaid fic. I’ve worked out the basics pretty closely, but I want to finish the first FTH commission first.
* More ficlets for the Stamford Suite, which I started after last 221bcon and didn’t get very far into. (Aiming for seven, two posted so far.) I’ve had a half-draft of the third for like 8 months, and some day I will finish it so I can move the hell on to the next installment(s).
* A Sherlock/Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries crossover co-written (or at least co-plotted) with my wife(!). Post-Reichenbach, set in 1920s Melbourne, which is where a grieving John Watson has traveled at the behest of his old army friend Bert, to join the practice of a lady doctor Bert knows. Also featuring past (and probably revisited) Phryne/Irene. Friends, it’s gonna be delicious. If it ever gets written. *sigh*
Okay, I have earned the fun part! I tag, ummmm @ancientreader, @tea-and-liminality, @holyfant, @trickybonmot, @greencarnations, @conversationswithjohnlock (I know I owe you a meme I am sorry I will do it soon) and @drinkingcocoa-tpp. If anyone’s done this already and I missed it, just hit me with a link.
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