#the casting and when to use younger actors is so weird
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Auntie Im needs to share her skin care routine! She hasn’t aged since Gopuri was a child and he looks like her father.
#cafe minamdang#the casting and when to use younger actors is so weird#what's going on#damn netflix for not letting me screenshot
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Why the fuck does Laena Velaryon, who is canonically younger than Rhaenyra Targaryen in the show, look like a fucking 20-year-old in episode 5 while Rhaenyra, her elder, still looks fucking 13? Why the actual fuck did they change the YOUNGER girl’s actress and made her look older, but it’s okay for Rhaenyra to continue looking like a preteen? I’ll tell you why.
They’re trying to distract us from the fact that creepy ass Daemon is courting a 14-year-old. A FOURTEEN YEAR OLD. Rhaenyra is 15 in episode 1 and Laena is 12, meaning they have a 3 year age gap. Then, Viserys tells Rhaenyra that she must marry since she’s 17 now, making Laena 14, maybe 15 at best. So they obviously can’t afford having Daemon thirst over a child again, therefore this is a shitty attempt to cover up the fact that Laena still is a very fucking young child.
HBO what is this? Why do your casting choices indicate that you’re trying to use some kind of ageist technique to manipulate your viewers? Why are the supposedly good guys, Rhaenyra and her children, portrayed by very young actors? Is this to show how innocent and pure they are? Why are the characters who are supposedly evil, Aegon and Aemond, or the character for whom we shouldn’t worry too much about since she’s just a tool for Daemon’s story line to develop, Laena, portrayed by obviously older actors even though they’re all supposed to be kids? Because the youth = good people and old = bad people analogy is fucking gross and lowkey paedophilic. Not to mention how weird it is to make all the black girls in the show look like fucking grown ups. What kind of racist bullshit is this?
I can’t understand HBO’s decisionmaking for the love of me. Like, on the one hand, it’s so obvious that they’re forcing Daemon and Rhaenyra down our throats, to the point that I actually laughed out loud when the show runner said “he doesn’t get why people like Daemon”. Like, my guy, you MADE the show. You made him look like an appealing, dangerous, sexy, strong, victorious and mysterious man, so what do you mean you don’t get the appeal? On the other hand though, most of the actions that they allow Daemon to perform are so horrifying that it makes it impossible for a sane person to stand beside him and defend him. Like, they try to sugarcoat that he’s an abusive piece of shit yeah, but they somehow don’t shy away from the fact that he’s terrible? Are they doing both of these things on purpose? Are they trying to challenge the viewer, to show us how abusers, despite being openly deranged, still have their way of dazzling their victims, the average person, and hypnotising them with their charm? Is Daemon doing to us (and by us I mean you Daemon stans, not me, stay safe though) what he’s doing to Rhaenyra and Laena? Are the show producers testing the average viewer’s intelligence and ability to recognise an abuser? Will there be a lesson to be learned?
I would like to hope so but I highly doubt it, because while one could support this theory by arguing that changing Laena’s actress is an attempt to mask Daemon’s degenerative nature a bit so that it isn’t completely obvious that he’s a bad man, someone else could counter this argument by saying that we’ve already seen Daemon groom a minor so this wouldn’t be something new. We’ve seen him do much more violent crimes actually, so why shy away from the fact he’s a groomer when we are already aware of this? Idk man, I really want to think that HBO is trying to make us see that Daemon is an evil person, but then indirectly glorifying him constantly makes me believe they just want people to root for him.
P.S. I may anger a lot of people by saying this, so I’ll make myself clear by stating that I love and greatly respect actors who specialise in portraying evil characters, because doing so and not losing yourself is a challenge (*cough* Leto *cough*) but if done correctly, it’s a true showcase of one’s talent and hard work. Lee, De Niro, Hopkins, Bardem and Rickman are just a few to name. However, Matt Smith has never rubbed me the right way. No hate to the guy, I don’t even know him, but I’ve seen him play the villain in three separate occasions (HOTD, Last Night in Soho, Morbius) and I just get these weird vibes, but I usually told myself it’s just my imagination running wild. However, I recently found out that Smith claimed that Daemon is a loyal man who loves deeply and that his “heir for a day” brothel feast was his way of honouring Aema, which really disturbed me for obvious reasons. I don’t know if he said this because he’s trying to defend his character and by extension himself, or if he just wants to promote the show, or if he doesn’t understand Daemon or if he funnily enough has fallen victim to his own character’s charm and I don’t care because it is a dangerous thing to say. Painting this character, the arrogant, obnoxious, self serving, people slaughtering, wife murdering, backstabbing, abusing, grooming, lying, manipulating, war criminal of a man, in such a positive light while being a man yourself, knowing that most of this character’s supporters are young impressionable women who just find him hot, makes me lowkey wanna cover my drink in his presence, I don’t know.
#hbo#hbo max#house of the dragon#hotd#hotd critical#house targaryen#house velaryon#anti rhaenyra targaryen#rhaenyra targaryen#laena velaryon#anti daemon targaryen#anti daemyra#ageism#matt smith#anti targ stans#anti targ restoration#pro team green#team green#anti team black
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jjk men reacting to their theme songs
(jjk is a show and our babies and reader are actors)
Being a co-star in the show, plus your attractive personality made you a good friend with pretty much the whole cast even the crew. And being so active on social media specially TikTok made you close with fans, always posting videos from bts with the other actors be it dancing or lipsyncing a trend.
One time the fans begged you to do a video where the handsome men reacting to their themes even giving you the songs and made an audio to make it easier for you, so you did.
Gojo satori: daddy's home
The second he heard the melody he groand loudly (luckily you're just using the audio not your voices) and left you shouting "don't make me hear that shit again" .
Of course you wrote that when you edited the video and fans thought it was hilarious and kept sending him edits with the sound of 'daddy's home' that he had to log off from social media for a week xD (he stole your phone after that to give you a lesson >.<)
Geto Suguru: one of the girls And mirrors
He sat calmly waiting for the audio to start, once he heard 'one of the girls' he smiled and told you that he likes it and at least it's so much better than 'daddy's home', earning him a flying empty bottle to hit him (needless to say who throw it xD); and when he heard mirrors he started to sing along with it and told it's one of his favorite song and gave it a 10/10.
Well fans forgot about his opinion on the songs they focused about the flying bottle and how cute both of you were sitting next to each other which resulted a new ship and a lot of edits for you two.
Nanami Kento: older
You don't know why but you wanted to see his reaction because it's weird that fans relate him to that song when he's younger than satori and suguru.
You pressed the Start button and looked at him, to your surprise he was laughing because he thought the same as you when the first time he saw an edit with 'older' but he told he liked it nonetheless and that he thinks maybe fans choose that song because he gives daddy vibes.
Yes he left both you and fans shocked.
#God it's been so long since I wrote something#You can tell who's my fave hehe#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#gojo x reader#gojo fluff#geto x reader#geto fluff#nanami x reader#nanami fluff
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although i REALLY like the cast of HotD I can’t help but criticize the fact that they all are a little off for their canonical ages.
And it creates A LOT of problems.
Whenever I look at Olivia as Alicent my brain just cannot comprehend the fact that she is supposed to be the mother of Aegon, Aemond and Helaena. She looks like their older sister. I get that they were trying to go for the effect that “she was too young when she had her children” which is valid but still, she looks five years older than them at best. She is supposed to be almost 20 YEARS older than Aemond, yet in some shots of them together he looks like he’s older than her. It just makes it not really believable.
Rhaenyra is also supposed to be much much older than her siblings, yet they all also look just like three years apart. They don’t look like a woman in her mid to late thirties fighting with a man in his early twenties which is what it should’ve been. It takes away the drama and puts them on the same level.
Ewan Mitchell is amazing as Aemond but he looks so so much older than the actor who plays Luke. During Storm’s End, like many people have said, it actually looks like a grown ass man chasing a small kid, when the characters are supposed to be like four to five years apart. Where Luke is believable as a 14 year old, Aemond absolutely does NOT look 19.
Rhaenyra and Daemon also look fairly the same age because obviously there was no Daemon recast. They did a good job to make Paddy (Viserys) age throughout the years, but they kinda forgot to make Daemon age as well. And therefore Matt Smith looks the exact same in ep 1 and in ep 10, even tho these two episodes are like AT LEAST 20 years apart?? Matt Smith was in his early forties when they were filming, but by the end of season 1 Daemon is literally supposed to be in his mid to late fifties. The fact that Emma and Matt look around the same age, maybe having a 5 year age gap max, makes many people forget that they are two fully different generations of people, being around 20 years apart in the show, and hypothetically could’ve been father and daughter.
And obviously Laena. Other people have already talked about this, but I also find it super weird that the show tried to convince us that Laena went from (1) to (2) in like, i don’t know, two years maybe? And then after a timeskip of only like one decade, she suddenly looks like she aged 20 years? The actress is literally older than Emma, and Laena is supposed to be younger than Rhaenyra.
It just doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t really have a problem with changing some of the characters’ ages, but you have to consider casting the right actors as well. They did a fairly good job when adapting Game of Thrones, because they kinda aged up everyone and kept the same actors without having any timeskips. The only exceptions are probably characters like Brienne, because although I LOVE Gwendoline Christie, Brienne should’ve been a literal teenager.
#house of the dragon#hotd#team green#pro team green#anti team black#anti team black stans#hotd analysis#hotd critical#asoiaf#fire and blood#house targaryen
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We are not judging how bad the movie is, we are judging which adapted the book the worst. There are good movies that are bad adaptions.
Propaganda below the cut (spoilers may apply)
The Witcher:
Henry Cavill, mostly. Also awful hair and makeup dept.
What they did to Geralt is straight up character assassination and they destroyed his friendship with Dandelion. I will never stop being bitter
completely disregards the themes the books represent and Anglicizing the eastern european literary traditions present. they cast actors who were a poor fit for the roles and the writers expressing open disdain for the books. there is no point to putting work and effort into adapting a media you hate.
Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children:
While Miss Peregrine was one of my favorite books as a kid and incredibly unique in the way the story is written (The author basically took a box of weird antique photographs and created an underlying story behind a handful of them) the movie is incredibly boring. Like seriously I can't remember a single goddamn thing about the movie besides my extreme disappointment with it after leaving the theatres. It's probably because the original is a trilogy but they didn't want to make it a trilogy for the movie so they just scrapped the ending of the first book and rewrote a shitty climax where they threw snowballs at the nightmare child eating creatures or something. I remember THAT scene perfectly because it was so, so dumb. It was so stupid oh my God- ALSO, thank God I have a copy of the book from before the film came out because new copies don't have one of the photographs that the actual book uses as a base anymore and instead have the shitty movie poster! We truly do live in a society.
Changed way too much so it doesn't feel like the same thing. The main characters are these kids with different abilities (called peculiarities) and the movie switches around their powers and changes almost everyone's age. Emma and Olive switch powers so that Emma now floats (they also added that she can kind of control air to some extent) when she's supposed to have fire powers to match her fiery personality. Olive can make fire now and she's also aged up from an eight year old to a teenager and put her in this weird romance with Enoch. Enoch is also aged up from a grumpy thirteen year old to around the same age as Olive. Bronwyn, one of the older kids in the book and sort of a motherly figure to the younger kids, is now one of the youngest kids. Hugh and Fiona are aged down and basically have no interaction at all in the movie, even when their book counterparts had such a good relationship. The only one they didn't really change was Horace and Jacob. They also added these gorgon twins that do like two things. The antagonist in the movie is Mr. Barron who honestly isn't super memorable and isn't in the books whatsoever. The ending of the movie is weird too because they manage to turn back time somehow so Jacob's grandfather isn't dead and then he hops through loops so he can be with Emma and the other peculiars. I guess the problem of wights and hollowgasts is magically eliminated and we do not have to deal with the consequences. It took six books to fix everything. I appreciate that the movie engaged me enough to read the series but once I did, I could not believe they did my kids that dirty.
Yikes where to start. The 3 girl characters are all mixed up. There are 2 teens, one who's super strong and has a brother (I'll get back to him) and one who controls fire and is the love interest named Emma. The third girl is a child called Olive who floats. She's lighter than air.
In the movie, strong girl is the child, olive is now the fire girl and is for some reason super introverted, and Emma the love interest floats and gets given a super breath??? Power?? Like she rises a sunken ship by blowing in and keeps a man blown against a wall by blowing air at him. He makes a remark that she'll run out of breath eventually, which happens here because plot convenience, but not when she's blowing in the sunken ship.
The enemies in the book are terrifying Hollows. Creatures who have lost themselves and devour souls of those with powers... The movie decides they eat eyes now. And turn human again. And get busted up in a fair for the final act of the movie. Ugh.
The movie also decides randomly that time travelling through the loops is a thing; a loop being a pocket of time that replays the same day over and over. But apparently this means Main Character can travel back in time and stop his grandfather dying??? What?? His grandfathers death is the whole start of the movie and motivation for the character.
The movie undermines many of things that made the book amazing and even decides it's not a trilogy anymore!! Fuck the other 2 books, right?!
Tldr; it is terribly hollywood-ised and t tim Burton ruined a franchise by trying too hard to make it quirky and fun when the books already had a brilliant sombre and interesting tone to them.
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I want 2 hear more abt bombashanks 👁️👁️
They have an interesting dynamic to me :o) I understand that it’s kinda out there and isn’t for everyone, but these two are everything to me
Whenever I draw these two together or see any pictures of them, I typically imagine Skimble being a lot younger than he’s usually portrayed. Maybe around the same age as Bomba about.
Edit this post ended up being very large so adding a cut if you want to read my ramblings !
In my mind they are best friends with benefits, so nothing explicitly romantic altho sometimes the line can be blurred. Which makes sense since when you throw Tugger into the equation, someone Bomba absolutely adores and someone who Skimble despises to the core, the argument that can come up between the two can make me see why things wouldn’t really work out in that sense. And, again, I see them more as friends than a serious couple so the curious cat doesn’t rlly matter for their relationship
They’re drinking buddies for sure. Bomba sometimes decides to sneak onto the night mail to watch Skimble from afar or share some drinks or a smoke together whilst Skimble rambles on about whatever story he just remembered at that moment. Things probably get pretty boring on the streets when there isn’t any Jellicle ball to attend to, and so she’d like to make good, but fun, use of her free time.
If anything Bomba would be the one to initiate things for sure; she finds the weirdo Scot to be, well weird, but she very much likes the reactions he gives her whenever she shows extremely romantic-like affections out of the blue. Because wouldn’t this red broad who can’t handle rejection be the last person you’d expect to be hanging out with a peepaw
Plus I sorta hc this, and it’s also shown in the 98 film and maybe some other productions, but Bomba tries to make a lot of moves on a lot of different toms. But each time she does that, she’s either ignored or gets cast aside for somebody else that fits said tom’s preference. And the only ones that give her attention are the guys that she doesn’t even like lol. Very picky she is.
So with being close with Skimble, she can kinda make up for that lack of attention she’s always wanted from the right cat yknow. He’s naturally a very loveable cat towards anyone and everyone.
And the two are besties in the Zurich and Moscow productions, so I don’t even want to hear it
My absolute favourite actor Kevin Alvey w/ Kati Farkas from Zurich :—)
#need to draw them again soon…. couples goals#cats musical#cats the musical#skimbleshanks#bombalurina#bombashanks#my hcs#asks
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Joe keery x Reader
You were sat there watching Free guy, with your 7 year old daughter on disney plus. She loved the movie, she had watched it 12 times since it came out. You didn’t mind it either.
Keys came onto the screen..
“Mom, look it’s dad” She said pointing at the screen, you looked and saw your husband Joe on the scene. He was so gorgeous in any role he had. You had met Joe in college and you got married 2 years after college in 2012.
It was a beautiful wedding, your family flew all the way from England for the wedding. Joe’s mom and sister’s helped you pick out your wedding dress since your mother wanted nothing to do with the bridal side. She just turned up to congratulate you.
You never had a good relationship with your parents; they were always away on business trips while you were stuck looking after your younger brother. Your brother was a little angel. He was 11 at the time of your wedding.
You were getting ready and one of Joe's sisters said someone wanted to see you and then your little brother walked in the room wearing a suit and handed you some flowers. You started tearing up and gave him a massive hug.
Instead of your father walking you down the aisle, Your brother found it adorable how a little boy was walking his big sister down the aisle.
In 2016, Joe got the biggest role in his life as Steve harringron. He then grew as an actor and soon you was known as the wife of the famous Joe keery. It was weird at first but then you got used to it.
In 2017, You gave birth to your daughter. Joe was emotional when he saw his daughter for the first time. He had always wanted a daughter and now he had one. You both decided to name Grace Lillie Ann keery.
Here you were now in 2021 watching his newest movie where he was playing a geeky nerd. He still was good looking to you. It reminds of what Joe looked like when you first met in college all those years ago.
Grace had Brown hair and hazel eyes, she had inherited that from her father but she had your face shape and smile which Joe is thankful for. She was wearing her Scoops ahoy hoodie that she brough when season 3 came out. She loved meeting everyone when he took her on set. She was mostly fond of Gaten since she saw him the most.
3 months later…
Joe was in Indiana filming the fourth season of Stranger things, they were all in costume and they were on a break when all of sudden they heard..
“GATEN” They all looked to see your daughter running up to gaten. Gaten then picked her up while the cast members looked in awe,
Joe saw this and saw you and ran up to you, he was happy to see both of you and his other baby, he picked up his pet pomeranian that you got him for his 24th birthday.
Gaten then passed Grace around the cast members introducing her to Jamie and Joseph, Jamie was out of costume and Joseph was dressed as Eddie. Grace smiled and gave them both a high five. They accepted and gave her a high five back.
After everyone had held Grace…
“Daddy” Grace said running up Joe in his Steve Harrington Costume. Joe saw this and kneeled down and opened his arms so that Grace could land into his arms. Grace then jumped and landed into his arms and Joe pulled her close and gave her a giant hug.
“Oh no daddy you're hurt” Grace says as she looks at Joe who was wearing the outfit he was wearing when he went into the upside down world the first time. He has fake bite marks and scars and it upset Grace.
“NO DADDY” Grace says as she starts crying at the thought of her father being hurt. All the Cast then look at Grace in awwe. Grace then started to cry harder as Joe looked at her and started to comfort her.
“No sweetie daddy’s fine, it’s fake i promise you. It’s for the scene. Daddy’s not really hurt” Joe says while trying to calm your daughter down while tears fell down her cheeks.
“You promise” Grace said through some sniffles as she calmed down.
“I promise” Joe says reassuring your daughter while the cast members stood there in Awwe. On how good Joe was with her when she was upset. None of them not even gaten had ever seen her cry before so they were a bit shocked. A couple minutes later she calmed down and stopped crying.
You then went up to Joe and gave him a quick kiss before you took your daughter into her arms and rocked her to sleep.
“You better get back to filming, me and Grace will be sitting in your Trailer while you do this alright” You say as you say goodbye to the rest of the cast and put Grace back into the stroller and head to his trailer.
When you get there the trailer is in great condition as always, you still remember when Joe had to come shoot Season 2 and it was only a few weeks after Grace was born, he felt so guilty leaving you with a newborn so he made sure he got a new trailer to fit the needs of a Newborn so that you could come and stay in the trailer while he worked on scenes.
You then got Grace out of the stroller and laid her on the little bean bag that he bought for her to sleep on in 2018, when he was filming Season 3.
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Two good roundtable discussions from critics about Challengers and Zendaya.
https://x.com/vulture/status/1784224020503707863?s=46
https://x.com/reeltalker/status/1783823205775343916?s=46
Thank you, Anon! There was so much in these two discussions. I’m not sure where to start, so I’ll just go with two excerpts that touch on topics that have come up on my blog recently.
A.J.B.: It’s kind of weird for Challengers to have that white-boy line because it’s a movie that doesn’t actually give a shit about race. Do you think white people are comfortable with Black women’s actual, fully embodied anger? Of course not. It would turn to them. It is hard for me to look at her as an exalted actress who deserves all of this power because there are so many talented young Black actors who get one good role before their careers flatline. Look at the men in Moonlight, Trevante Rhodes and Ashton Sanders. Look at Anna Diop from Nikyatu Jusu’s film Nanny — that woman is amazing. I’m happy there’s a powerful Black actress, but the fact that Zendaya is pretty much the only younger one who has this kind of power is not a compliment to her but a diss toward Hollywood. If she was so instrumental in the casting of Challengers, it behooves us to ask, “Why are you surrounded by white people if you have the power not to be?”
**********
Taryn: Tashi sticks out like a sore thumb in this very white world. She’s obviously Black. There’s even a point during her party early on in the film when we see she has a Black dad. It sucks, however, that “Challengers” aims to be colorblind up until the last 20 minutes of the film when Tashi says, “I’m taking such good care of my little white boys.” What’s funny enough is that that line made its way into the trailer. If it was that important of a highlight to make it to the film’s promo, then why is race put on the back burner in the film?
Instead, the filmmakers put an emphasis on class. Tashi notes that she doesn’t have the financial privilege that led Art and Patrick to tennis. That’s fair to point out, but it’s lazy to not explore the other obvious factors impacting their relationship.
Candice: Honestly, I think it could be that neither Luca Guadagnino nor screenwriter Justin Kuritzkes, two white men, are equipped to handle any racial nuance. As we know, white filmmakers have historically been far more invested in themes of class than race. I also don’t think they have their Black audiences in mind either. I get the impression that they made a movie they thought was hot and cast a very popular Black star in a movie that would then exceedingly fetishize her through a white male lens. And that often made me uncomfortable.
[…]
A-ha, Taryn, I’m so glad you brought up that line about “taking care of my two little white boys.” It’s the only time in the movie where race is even brought up, and it seems so weird. Because part of the deal with colorblind casting is that race isn’t even supposed to be a concept, I thought. But then it’s brought up here and it’s like…. Um… OK? Seemed awkward to me.
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rating various doublecastings in assassins 👍
balladeer/lee harvey oswald: THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND!!! no one's doing it like them... i think it's really important to the show because of the running theme that anyone could end up like the assassins, and the balladeer being a representation of the audience getting turned into an assassin is really powerful imagery. i LOVE the way the 2021 off broadway revival stages the costume change because instead of the assassins forcing the balladeer into it it feels more like the balladeer has been pushed to the point where he does it willingly. and im so normal about that!!! i looove the broadway revival's staging of the assassins surrounding the balladeer to reveal him as lee harvey oswald because it feels a lot more surprising/shocking . i also saw a production that had the assassins force the balladeer to change at gunpoint, which was interesting. 1000/10 (the only drawback to this is the one production i found that had a female lee harvey oswald which. was a choice.)
proprietor/john wilkes booth: i'm ok with it! i think my main problem with this is that the proprietor to me represents the disillusionment with america turning into violent passion against it, so having him also be a person feels weird to me. also i think it gives too much power to booth, and i think it's important to show that like everyone else, john wilkes booth was never really that special. also i like it when the proprietor is influencing other scenes and if he's doublecast with booth he's only really in the opening number. it doesn't really affect the show on a surface level though. 5/10
bystander #3 or #5/emma goldman: i don't really have that many thoughts on it, low score because i don't think it detracts from the show but it doesn't really add to it either. i prefer them played by separate actresses but like 100% of the time they're doublecast because the ensemble isn't big enough. also when they're played by the same actor they have to costume change during what does a man do, and i think it's a little distracting for what's meant to be a powerful rally. 2/10
ensemble/the assassins: not a fan, i think it detracts from the assassins feeling like outcasts from what the ensemble represents as society. i guess it could represent the assassins being people/blurring the lines between us vs them?? i think the balladeer/lee harvey oswald doublecast is a more effective way to do that. i dunno, i think it's too distracting to be worth it but also i really like some productions that do this so it doesn't really matter that much. 1/10
bystander/lee harvey oswald: OK i'm going to do something unheard of and talk about the watermill theatre production. i think this doublecasting is really effective in a specific context, like how watermill theatre sets it up. for some background they don't have an orchestra, so all the instruments are played by the assassins and the ensemble. one side effect of this is that the ensemble is on stage a LOT more than they normally are, and for the most part they don't have costume changes, so each ensemble member is very recognizable and you feel like you know them. because of this, when one of the ensemble members is turned into lee harvey oswald, it has the same affect as double casting the balladeer and oswald. it feels like a representation of the audience is being turned into an assassin, while avoiding the ramifications of the balladeer (who is female in this) being oswald. the only negative drawback is that this ensemble member wears a high school letterman jacket for most of the show so it makes oswald feel a lot younger. this is something most productions do but booth feels much older then oswald, who in real life was a year older than him. oswald feels like a kid being manipulated by an older person who knows what they're doing, but i think it's important to show that he's also a grown man who fully knew what he was doing when he chose to shoot jfk. anyways in any other production where the ensemble isn't on stage a lot it doesn't have the same affect, oswald feels like an entirely new person who you have no introduction to, because most people won't recognize him as one of the actors in the ensemble. 10/10 for watermill, 1/10 for everyone else
balladeer/the proprietor: so i've only seen one production that does this and i have a lot of mixed feelings on it. for context this is a college production that has the entire ensemble play both the proprietor and the balladeer. i think this gets rid of the duality between the proprietor and the balladeer, especially in another national anthem when they're supposed to be fighting but instead the same people are singing both the proprietor and the balladeer's lines. i think the only good thing about this is that the proprietor and the balladeer feel a lot more like forced of nature/ideas rather than individuals. 3/10
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For a show that was bad pretty much from the beginning, Beyond the Star really outdid themselves by making the final episode so much worse than the rest. This was probably the worst final episode I've ever seen (other than MODC) and that's kinda impressive.
My toxic trait is if the NC scenes are good enough, I can forgive plot holes big enough to drive a bus through.
I loved Tonnam and Phupha, especially in episodes 6 and 7. And unfortunately that's where the fun ends because this bus is just too big.
I have been known to obsess over objectively bad shows before because my main goal as a viewer is entertainment. Sometimes bad writing and ridiculousness can be their own type of fun, imo.
I initially started watching Beyond the Star only because of Willi (Kita) who I loved in another high heat show with very questionable writing, Till the World Ends.
From the initial trailer of Beyond the Star, it seemed like the main storyline would be about twins Tin and Tul (played by actual twins and not simply one actor!) fighting over a man. Now, when I say man, I mean it because another thing that I was excited about initially was this cast's ages. The average age of the main cast is just shy of thirty years old which is something I would frankly love to see more of. Kind of weird for this to happen with a story about a new boyband, but hey.
The main characters and the ages of the actors who play them:
Kita - 34
Nathee - 27
Kengkla - 27
Namo - 26
Tonnam - 27
Phupha - 29
Trin - 30
Tul - 30 (obviously)
Copper - 30
Dance instructor Kawi - 30
CEO Araya - 33
CEO Kiat - 35
I didn't include the babies of the group Mawin (20) and Mangkorn (20) in this because I feel like we got more scenes of other characters explaining away their absence than we got scenes of them. They weren't even in the last two episodes at all so their story had absolutely no resolution.
Unfortunately that's kind of the case for most of the plot lines in this show. We had way too many characters with simultaneously too much going on and not enough going on. Way too much of the CEOs plotting only for them to inexplicably team up at the end. And way too much dance rehearsal footage that apparently needed to be shown instead. The last episode was chock full of loose threads.
I have so many questions
Why so many scenes of Nathee talking about how hot Kita's dad was when he was younger?
Why did they do Willi like this with this wig?
What happened with Kita and Nathee's relationship? Why did they have zero scenes in the finale?
What happened with Film's blackmail plot?
Why wasn't Nathee in the group at the end yet and previously disgraced Kita was?
What happened with Kita and Kawi being pissed about Kita's song being stolen?
Narrator: He did not deal with anything
Why wait until the very last episode to do anything with Tul and Tin and Copper? Okay, so Tul told Tin early on that he liked Copper. Tin agreed not to pursue Copper only to then immediately fuck him the very first chance he got? They decided to have a quickie in the bathtub while Tul was running a simple errand that he would be back from very soon? Not only did they not hurry, they didn't even close the fucking bathroom door????? Tul and Tin almost immediately made up after this even though apparently they already fought over a guy in the past?
Why did Kengkla even like Namo? Bro straight up told him his religious beliefs were stupid and they never really addressed this?
Did they break Namo's glasses during their sex scene? They showed Kengkla taking off Namo's glasses and putting them on the bed beside them and then a few seconds later they seemingly rolled over on them?
What was with Kengkla's pained expressions during their NC scene in the finale? Between that and Namo's unhinged smiling paired with the throat grabbing I couldn't tell what was supposed to be happening there. Kinky shit? Does Namo use cosmopolitan magazine's 2004 indian burn handie technique? Too much teeth? The possibilities are endless
Tell me this man isn't Bajoran though with his religious devotion, nose bridge wrinkles, and dangly earrings
Why even include the suicide attempt plot line? The whole thing was infuriating but especially them patting themselves on the back for solving Tonnam's suicidal tendencies by comforting him in the hospital?
You don't have to be sad buddy, you've improved as a dancer!
Narrator: It was not resolved
Also, here's where I have to admit I gave the writing team too much credit. I repeatedly thought that scenes were surely included for a bigger narrative purpose but that was overwhelmingly not the case.
In earlier episodes they showed a hidden camera in one of the rehearsal rooms at the agency that was, unbeknownst to the boys, streaming online. When they showed Phupha and Tonnam about to get it on at the agency and Tonnam specifically said he was worried about being seen, I thought that they were maybe going to be unknowingly exposed online and cause a huge scandal. When I saw the promo for the finale where it showed Tonnam on the ground with pills all around him, I thought for sure that was where they were going. I thought it was a little late for a big plot point like that but oh, how little I knew.
Why have Kengkla asking repeatedly why they're focusing so much on singing and dancing when he wants to be an actor only to have him turn down the acting job so he can be in a different boyband at the end?
Bad writing, bad directing, bad editing, bad pacing, bad dancing (perplexingly shown in slow motion which only exacerbated the lack of sync), bad singing, no character development, way too much focus on the two rival CEOs who are the producers of the show which explains so much.
The workshops must have been good though because the chemistry was the rare positive. Kita and Nathee had a few good scenes and I loved Tonnam and Phupha (except in the finale which I'm going to forget I ever watched). The kissing in the NC scenes was good all around but the lack of direction was pretty apparent. Lots of up and down and back up kind of aimlessness with too much position switching. It seemed like the actors were giving it their best but weren't given any specific instructions and were just kind of stalling until they heard cut.
The intro was catchy but I can't say the actual group they apparently built this show around promoting (in the most roundabout weird way) doesn't leave a bad taste in my mouth because of this mess.
Don't watch this unless you want to try your hand at the world's least efficient way to learn the numbers 1-8 in Thai
Or you know, maybe you could just skip around to the good parts
May these guys find better writing in their next projects
Sadhu
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Fake Dream Au
Characters (that I drew so far):
Vincent Vox is a young talented actor who comes from a long line of aspiring actors and filmmakers. He’s the middle child of his family. He had one, actual, friend (Alastor) before having a “falling” out with him. He’s around thirteen years old. Vox has heterochromia (left is red and right is blue). He’s not blind in one eye, he has blurry vision in both eyes (he wears eye contact). He doesn’t like talking about the scar—can’t remember. Why can’t? Remember. Snarks and anything technology are his special interests and loves to talk about them for hours (usually mostly mainly with Papermint). He like getting fan mails—but there are some weird ones… Like telling him to run and stuff.
“Papermint” Marcus is Vox’s assistant (like in the show) but he’s older than Vox. He acts like Vox’s babysitter—more like a very nervous cousin/older brother to Vox. He does know how the scar happened. He’s best friends, they just took him in, with Kitty and Melissa. Fifteen years old. Vox was his first friend. Papermint is connected and nervous about everything, especially with Vox. He does know about Vox’s deep depression and his wanting to be noticed/loved by his family. Papermint was in a foster home when growing up (it wasn’t a good time for him). Papermint was the nickname that the foster home children gave him due to his birthmarks and being mixed race, but Vox calls him “Papermint” in a different way (because Vox usually sees Marcus with a lot of different colours of paper and he knows that Marcus likes mint).
Kitty, Fizzarolli’s younger sister, is an assistant like Papermint and Melissa. She has more of a free allowance than anyone else due to Fizzarolli’s boyfriend, Asmodeus, and her older brother being very popular and important to the studio and social media. She had brought in Asmodeus because she realized she and other people were being paid under amounts that were legally allowed. She likes to collect tall, very nervous people like Pokémon Cards. She’s also a backup actor. She’s usually in a clown (different height) hat because she wants to be like her older brother. She has a big family. Kitty is sixteen years old and likes to hold Vox like a wet cat for Melissa.
Melissa is the oldest of the teenage assistants. Her family was the “perfect” family before Melissa was taken away and given to her grandparents. She’s very nervous about everything and it being perfect. Her grandparents are very caring and loving people. She’s slowly getting used to not being “perfect”. She loves Kitty’s hugs. She’s seventeen years old. Lord, give her a hug and 100x more love—give them all loves and hugs. Melissa is also the new top model for Velvette.
The Studio:
Is set a modern time and mainly focuses on the studio and Vox. The studio is a Christian studio and very popular. Vox, Anthony (Angel Dust), Vaggie, Charlie, Arackniss, Charlotte Boom (Cherri Bomb), Husker, Molly, (Sir) Pentious, and Emily are very popular teenagers/kids in their shows and movies and are the main casts in them. Alastor is not in the any of the shows nor the studio. Rosie and Mimzy do talk about Alastor watching the shows only that had Vox in them. Niffty is the janitor of the studio and does report back to Alastor if asked by him. It probably best to keep Alastor and Vox away from each other. Valentino is one of the writers and artists of the studio due to his surprisingly good artistic skills. Velvette is the top designer in the studio (why is Sera allowing teenagers to have adults jobs?). Adam, Eve, Lute, Lilith, (St) Peter, Lucifer, Carmilla, Zestial, (Archangel) Micheal and the other seven archangels, and Zeezi are popular adults in the shows and movies they’re in. The Egg Boiz are the children that Pentious babysits (maybe Sera is not paying all of the child actors properly or it just for high school).
.
.
.
.
But it’s all fake. It’s just a dream. A nice dream. Vox was stuck in a tiny room with a tiny window. The room is full of snarks related stuff. Don’t look out of the window again, Vox. Go back asleep, Vox. At least, everyone is nicer there.
Drawings
First design of Vox
He’s eepy. Long day.
Very nervous Voxxy.
Smoll snak and big ee
1, this is the first time Papermint and Vox met (the adults just threw the both of them in a room). “Uh…” (doesn’t know what a 10-12 year old actor kid would like to talk about) “D-do you… uhm… li—like ocean creatures…?”
2, “I loves sharks.”
3, hours later or like 30 minutes, both are talking snarks facts.
It’s just Vincent.
There’s no Vox.
There’s no talented young actor anywhere.
Just a small room full of shark stuffs and a closed off window.
“Everything is fake.”
“Don’t look out of the window.”
“You know what’s out there.”
“You’re trap.”
“Sleep.”
“At least, everything would look better.”
And that is all I have for now. ♥︎ In joy your day/night.
#kitty hazbin hotel#she was so fun to draw#hazbin hotel vox#vox#hazbin vox#vox fanart#fake dream au#maybe be a yandere#papermint#Melissa Hazbin hotel#tw kidnapping#implied#hazbin hotel#vox hazbin hotel
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“I don’t want to attend class today *sigh* but alas father will be upset if I don’t go.”
All credit for the og sprite belongs to the Twisted Wonderland team and Yana Toboso! The info template belongs to @unfinished-projects-galore here on tumblr!
Other Morrigan outfits: Royal Sword Academy | Village of Miracles event | other school outfits
(More info and a bonus image under the cut)
AHHH IM SO PROUD OF MORRIGAN!!
This was a character I was debating on posting but I love how this came out so imma post them! I used Lilia’s sprite as a base and lengthened his pants, I really liked the details on his uniform pants but didn’t like the length on Morrigan.
Some general information on Morrigan;
They are half fae, half human. It’s belived their mother was a Raven fae.
I kind of wanted to play into that by mimicking the holographic nature of Raven/crow feathers. It’s a little hard to see but instead of making the hair highlights just blue or something, I tried to make it a blue/purple/teal gradient!
Morrigan is also wearing Raven feather earrings, their hair just covers them 🤧
Morrigan is the twisted version of Morgan Le Fay /Morgana from both Sofia the First and Arthurian Legend
Morrigan is genderfluid and has no preference of pronouns given they will change their physical form whenever they want
Originally their name was just Morgan/Morgana, but I didn’t want to just reuse the exact name. When I was looking into similar names I saw that researchers have tried to link The Morrigan and Morgana. Ngl I like the spelling of Morrigan, it looks more magical to me
Morrigan was born in the Kingdom of Swords but was cast out of their kingdom when they were little alongside their younger brother Archer (my Arthur inspired oc) when their uncle usurped the throne.
Morrigan and Archer were separated when they were being sent out of the kingdom. Morrigan would later be found and cared for by Crowley. Archer would be found by Ambrose but is generally looked after by a friend of Ambrose’s
Morrigan’s birth name is Morrigan Caliburnus, though they go by “Crowley” because they were raised by Crowley
Because the siblings were so young, they didn’t know of the other’s existence until Archer began attending RSA.
Morrigan ignored Crowley for two months after finding out about Archer because they were upset that Crowley and Ambrose hid this from them.
Morrigan said they were over the situation pretty early on, but wanted to bully Crowley a little.
Because Crowley seems to love vacationing, I imagine him and Morrigan traveled a lot when Morrigan was young.
Due to this, Morrigan didn’t watch a lot of tv as a kid. They were too busy exploring the towns and cities they would visit.
Morrigan befriended Vil when they were kids. Like Jack, Morrigan didn’t know Vil was a child actor when they met because they didn’t watch TV
When Vil and Morrigan were kids he often mistook Morrigan for a girl because of their more feminine appearance. B/c Morrigan doesn’t take to much stock in how they are viewed gender wise, they never corrected Vil.
Morrigan likes to tease Vil because when they met again at NRC, when Morrigan was a freshman, Vil didn’t recognize them right away.
Morrigan also befriended Silver when they were kids. They had taken one of Crowley’s magic mirrors and traveled to Briar Valley because they were bored.
They ended up meeting Malleus and the others through Silver.
Back then Morrigan thought Malleus and Sebek were “weird” but said that’s what made them interesting to be around.
Morrigan was gifted a small magic mirror by Crowley when they were 16. It was mainly so that Morrigan would stop stealing his mirrors.
The mirror is a small handheld one, think Eve’s mirror from the Descendants movies. The only difference is that Morrigan’s can create portals to places in Twisted Wonderland
Morrigan is in the same class as Harry and Riddle, though didn’t really befriend/interact with them until after Riddle’s overblot
Morrigan is sometimes called lazy because they often don’t like attending classes. In reality they have a really odd sleep schedule and will sometimes stay up for hours exploring campus or reading up on ancient relics leaving them exhausted.
The only reason Morrigan regularly goes to classes even when tired is because Crowley would likely throw a fit if they didn’t.
Morrigan is skilled in magic across the board (they are in Daisomnia after all) but excels in ancient curses. They also love to study ancient relics and artifacts.
Like Malleus, Morrigan founded the “Study of ancient relics” club, though is currently the only member. The activities of the club are pretty self explanatory.
Morrigan is often seen as an intimidating figure like most Daisomnia students. Tack on their relation to Crowley and most stead clear of them.
Because they often wander around campus alone and like to look into ancient relics/spells/artifacts/etc a lot of students who don’t know Morrigan are put off or creeped out by them
However, to those who know them, Morrigan is a friendly and generally good natured person. They have a mischievous and sarcastic personality and are known to tease people they’re close with. It’s kind of like their love language in a way.
They’re pretty charismatic and seem to be friendly to most people they meet when they actually socialise. They enjoy good gossip and can usually be seen gossiping with Rook, and occasionally Harry.
Overall Morrigan is just vibing most of the time lol. They’re just goin with the flow for the most part
Morrigan does, however, have quite a temper and can hold grudges (or appear to hold grudges) for a long time. Their anger usually is rooted in worry for their friends and loved ones; they can be quite protective.
Like I mentioned earlier, they became quite upset when they found out Crowley was hiding the truth about their past/family.
They even ignored Crowley for two months, and while they don’t necessarily hold a grudge anymore they are still a little bitter about it.
Morrigan also seems to hold some animosity or disinterest towards Neige LaBanche, though it seems to be rooted more out of worrie for Vil than anything Neige actually did.
Morrigan has also shown some sense of vanity. While they don’t necessarily care how people view them in regard to gender, they still take pride in their appearance. I like to think this is a trait a lot of Raven fae share to some degree.
One of their pet peeves is when people touch their hair without asking, especially if it’s Crowley
I think that’s all for now. I had something else I wanted to add but I can’t remember what it is. I’m sure it’ll come to me at some point.
Feel free to ask questions about any of my OC’s! As of right now I’m still debating on if Morrigan and Archer are full or half siblings.
Also here’s a bonus picture for Morrigan! I liked how their hair turned out but the blazer covered it 😅. You can also see the earrings and the gradient in the highlights a little better!
#twisted wonderland#twst oc#twisted wonderland oc#twst#daisomnia#Daisomnia dorm#Daisomnia oc#morgana#Morgana Sofia the first#Morgana inspired oc#original character#my art#twst sprite#oc sprite#Morrigan Crowley
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Every Epic Rap Battle of History Ranked, Part 2
Part 1
57. Genghis Khan vs Easter Bunny
Winner: Easter Bunny
Best line: "The Great Wall couldn't keep you out of China. Watch me rub my foot for luck and stick it right up your vagina!"
Okay, okay, this is probably higher than it has any right to be, but damn it, I just love this pairing. You have a historical warlord famous for his brutality battling with a peaceful holiday icon for kids and I think the contrast is hilarious. It's nothing spectacular, but this has to be my favorite of season 1's "two completely random characters with no relation" battles.
56. Wonder Woman vs Stevie Wonder
Winner: Wonder Woman
Best line: "My rhymes are signed, sealed, and delivered on time. You're a bald has-been, I'm in my Amazon Prime!"
While I was always aware of Stevie Wonder's music, this battle actually made me look into it and appreciate it more. I love the touch of how Stevie's music style in this is a mix of his own as well as that of his actor, T-Pain. Also the quote above might just be one of my favorite lines in ERB history - I LOVE when a line can manage to mix in wordplay that relates to both rappers. Mwah, chef's kiss.
55. Master Chief vs Leonidas
Winner: Master Chief
Best line: "300 asses need a kickin'. Give more teebags than Lipton."
We're in the section of the list of good battles with nothing to really complain about, but also with nothing spectacular so there's not really much to say. I'm not a Halo guy so some of the references went over my head - I didn't get "You're the solider they need you to be" until looking it up just now, and yeah, that's a pretty funny line that I didn't appreciate when I was younger. It was also a good call to have Lloyd still be the voice of Leonidas but cast an actual muscular man to be the body actor; we definitely didn't need another Hulk Hogan muscle suit situation.
54. Goku vs Superman
Winner: Goku
Best line: "There's only one way that this battle's gonna end: One more Superman who's never gonna walk again."
Ray William Johnson was a great casting choice for Goku; he brings a lively and memorable performance to the show. Although I didn't think Goku was quite so angry? Idk, I'm also not a Dragon Ball guy (forgive me for being such an uncultured swine and not knowing a lot of these series). Lloyd's Superman is pretty basic by comparison; it gets the job done, but it's like Sinatra vs Mercury where it gets overshadowed hard by the other performer.
53. Barack Obama vs Mitt Romney
Winner: Mitt Romney
Best line: "Republicans need a puppet and you fit. Got their hand so far up your rear, call you Mitt."
Man, remember when we thought Mitt Romney was the worst the Republican party could throw at us? Simpler times, man. Simpler times. This battle is the most-viewed in ERB history, which I think is kinda weird since I feel like people were way more into the 2016 and 2020 elections overall. But this was also the first election battle, and when ERB was still a relatively new series, so maybe it was the novelty of it at the time. Or maybe because Obama and Romney were both more well-liked than Trump, Clinton, and Biden. I dunno, I'm getting off-track here.
I thought for years that this battle was pretty well-balanced in terms of not showing favoritism to one side, though I thought Romney's line "I'm not gonna let this battle be dictated by facts" was a pretty biased writing choice. But it turns out that that's almost a direct quote from Romney himself, so uhh. I also love how both opponents break down into slinging childish insults at each other by the end, it really goes to show that it's not glorifying either candidate. And that's proven true by the iconic scene of Abe Lincoln coming down and bitchslapping them both. Classic.
The real Obama is known to have seen this battle too and apparently liked it given that he invited Peter and the actor who played Obama here to the White House, so that's neat.
52. John Wick vs John Rambo vs John McClane
Winner: John McClane
Best line: "And lighten up, Wick, with your brooding saga. How 'bout a little hakuna matata, Baba Yaga?"
This is the first and so far only battle that's a three-way fight from the start, so that really ensures that all three characters are given ample time to all diss each other. I like it! The highlight here is definitely Lloyd's McClane, he's a delight to watch, and he perfectly captures how McClane is the lighthearted everyman of the group. Zach's John Wick is no slouch either, capturing the cool seriousness of the character. Where this battle falls flat though, and the only reason it's not in A, is Peter's Rambo. It's trying to be funny and it's just… not really funny. It's the kind of Sylvester Stallone impression that would get a chuckle out of you if your high school friend did it in the halls, but it just feels out of place in a professional production like this.
I love the subtle ways the backing track changes between characters too, with McClane getting some sleigh bells added in for his part, Wick getting a deep synth noise, and Rambo getting some somber strings. Really nice stuff.
51. Artists vs TMNT
Winner: TMNT
Best line: "Uh, Dona-tell me who you are again, dude, 'Cause I don't Gattamelata clue what you do."
My only complaint about this battle is that it's just too damn short. This would be a pretty short battle even by 1-on-1 standards, but when you have 8 separate characters, each one barely gets anything to say. But what's here is great. Rhett and Link and Smosh is a good pairing that gives a lot of energy to the artists, and the turtle suit that the team managed to make for the TMNT is great. When the only negative I can think of for a battle is that I wish there was more of it, you know it's a good battle.
A TIER
50. George Carlin vs Richard Pryor
Winner: Joan Rivers
Best line: "Now there's seven words you can't say on a TV set. But this is the pissin' fuckin' cuntin' internet!"
I'm realizing now how much work this entire thing is given how much I've written so far and we're only just now cracking the top 50. Still not even halfway there, damn. But anyway, this is a great tribute to a whole bunch of legendary comedians. It's a whole lot of fun to watch, and every performer captures the larger-than-life personalities on display. Lloyd's Robin Williams is a particular highlight. The only downside is Bill Cosby's part, it's not really funny and kinda just kills the pace. But it's thankfully short so it's not enough to ruin it.
49. Mario Bros vs Wright Bros
Winner: Wright Bros
Best line: "You might fly like a hawk, but you fight like a kitty!"
This was the first guest appearance of Rhett and Link and also the first 2-on-2 battle, and I think it does a really good job. Mario and Luigi are played absolutely nothing like their actual characters, but it's so far off that it's honestly hilarious.
48. David Copperfield vs Harry Houdini
Winner: David Copperfield
Best line: "My grand illusions make your parlor tricks irrelevant. The foot of Lady Liberty is stomping on your elephant."
Now THIS is a magician vs magician battle that actually lives up to the idea visually, eat your heart out, Gandalf vs Dumbledore. While Houdini is definitely the more interesting person to watch in this battle with all of the stunts he performs while rapping, I can't help but like Peter's silky smooth Copperfield voice, it's gotta be one of my favorite voices he's done.
47. Eastern Philosophers vs Western Philosophers
Winner: Eastern Philosophers
Best line: "You tried to plant a new German psyche, but you just grew hate, me no Third Reichy!"
This is a very smartly-written battle, as it should be given the subject matter. Every philosopher gets a chance to sum up what they're all about, and the contrasts work perfectly - Lao Tzu's philosophy of letting life take you through its natural course vs Nietzsche saying you need to take control and fight for the life you want, and Confucius's teaching of respecting authority vs Voltaire's challenging of authority. …Socrates vs Sun Tzu doesn't really have a direct contrast like that, but hey, that's okay. You can tell a lot of research went into this one, and it's really worth looking into the meanings of the lyrics because some of it will definitely go over your head if you're not super into philosophy.
46. Blackbeard vs Al Capone
Winner: Al Capone
Best line: "You spent time in Alcatraz, I'm sure you were fine, if you dropped the soap as little as you drop dope rhymes."
Both Peter and Lloyd were clearly having fun with this one, they're both in their element when they're playing characters with big personalities and fun voices to imitate. The lyrics are great and dense too; this was the first battle of season 3 besides Vader vs Hitler 3, and I think season 3 is really when the series started hitting its stride with rappers' verses becoming longer and more packed with deeper meanings.
I only have two minor criticisms with this battle - first, Blackbeard's beard looks way too nice and clean, and it's especially apparent when Capone has a line about how dirty it is. Second, this video was sponsored by Assassin's Creed IV, which is all well and good, but forcing in a line about Edward Kenway and having him physically appear in the background really destroys my suspension of disbelief and dates the video hardcore. But neither of these things are enough to ruin an otherwise very good battle.
45. Rick Grimes vs Walter White
Winner: Walter White
Best line: "Ask Gus, you don't wanna face off against me."
Okay, so, confession time: I have not watched either of the shows that are represented in this battle (Breaking Bad is on my to-watch list though). And oops, this vid's got a lot of spoilers for both series. Ah well. Despite not knowing a whole lot about either universe, I still think this battle is a lot of fun to watch. I particularly love the detail of a zombie crossing into Walt's side and getting distracted by meth - touches like that to tie the worlds of the two rappers together are always a treat.
44. Darth Vader vs Hitler
Winner: Hitler
Best line: "You stink, Vader. Your style smells something sour. You need to wash up, dog. Here, step in my shower."
Here we go. While Lennon vs O'Reilly might have come first, I think we can all agree that this is the real start of ERB. This is what made the series into a viral sensation and it's not hard to see why. The novelty of seeing a historical figure battle his fictional equivalent in a rap battle of all things was something unseen up until that point, and it helps that the lyrics were incredibly clever to boot - in addition to the iconic quote above, who could forget "So many dudes been with your mom, who even knows if I'm your father". I'm sure Disney would like everyone to forget that the Stormtroopers were named after Hitler's troops, but this battle stands as an eternal reminder of that fact.
43. Mr. T vs Mr. Rogers
Winner: Mr. Rogers
Best line: "I'll say this once, Laurence. I hope it's understood: Get right back in your van and get the fuck out of my neighborhood."
Peter's acting here is pretty similar to how he portrayed Bob Ross, but his portrayal of Mr. Rogers easily wins in my mind for how much more savage the insults are. Even though Rogers definitely steals the show here, Mr. T also manages to be very entertaining. It's hilarious how he's screaming at Rogers the whole time while Rogers consistently keeps his cool while hurling passive-aggressive lines.
Also, whew! We're officially halfway done with this list!
42. Jacques Cousteau vs Steve Irwin
Winner: Steve Irwin
Best line: "I'm a wild man, you're a subdued sub dude. The only crocs you could handle are some slip-on shoes!"
This battle's an interesting role reversal - usually it's Lloyd portraying the grumpy character and Peter portraying the lively one. But it goes to show that the two of them have the acting chops to go either way. Especially Lloyd, he's really entertaining when he can let his silliness out. I love how in the part where Steve is pointing to Jacques and talking about him like he's a wild animal, you can tell Peter is holding in laughter.
41. Tony Hawk vs Wayne Gretzky
Winner: Wayne Gretzky
Best line: "You and I have so many world records between us. 184, that's plenty of 'em… and I set 183 of 'em!"
This is a very slept-on battle, being the lowest-viewed of any of the pre-hiatus battles (though 18 million views still certainly ain't bad). I still remember my first time watching this battle as someone who didn't really know anything about Wayne Gretzky aside from "he was a hockey player", my jaw fucking dropped at that world records line. Absolutely killer setup and execution.
40. Jack the Ripper vs Hannibal Lecter
Winner: Hannibal Lecter
Best line: "I don't mind that you're naughty, Jack. I hate that you're sloppy."
I can't imagine that this one was particularly easy to write for given the very little we know about Jack the Ripper. I was gonna say, "Oh this battle was made before we knew his true identity", but apparently it's still not really agreed upon who he really was and the mystery gets "solved" again and again every few years. Anyway, Lloyd is great as Hannibal, his faces and mannerisms are perfect, and Dan Bull provides an interesting interpretation of the type of person Jack may have been. I love that Jack spends his entire first verse purely hyping himself up and Hannibal calls him out on being a narcissist, it's something that kinda shocks you as a viewer cause it's something you probably don't even notice on the first viewing, and you're also not expecting the video itself to point it out. It really sells the "Hannibal is one step ahead" kind of vibe.
39. Vlad the Impaler vs Count Dracula
Winner: Vlad the Impaler
Best line: "Imagine forests of corpses dripping on a buffet. You call that a nightmare? I call that a Tuesday."
Vlad the Impaler is probably the single most cold, brutal character ERB has ever had, and Lloyd gets some truly bone-chilling line deliveries in as him. Peter's Dracula is great too, the whole thing of a killer with class being disgusted by a killer who's just trying to be vicious actually makes it quite similar to Jack the Ripper vs Hannibal now that I think about it.
38. Babe Ruth vs Lance Armstrong
Winner: Babe Ruth
Best line: "So c'mon, little buddy, don't look so pissed. With all that blood and attitude, you're like a menstrual cyclist."
Like Hawk vs Gretzky, this is another athlete vs athlete video, and you'd expect the odds to immediately be stacked against Armstrong by virtue of the fact that you have a known cheater going up against an athlete with integrity. But Armstrong actually manages to put up a damn good rebuttal, taking shots at Ruth's personal life instead. I still think Ruth won, but both rappers actually manage to knock it out of the park, pun entirely intended.
Also unrelated to the battle itself but I've always thought the face Lloyd makes in the thumbnail of this one makes him look like James Rolfe.
37. James Bond vs Austin Powers
Winner: James Bond (modern)
Best line: "After 24 films, I'm still reaching new heights. Your third movie died, guess you only live twice."
I've always kinda wondered why Peter was cast as Austin Powers in this, I think Lloyd looks a lot more like Mike Myers. I guess they didn't want to have a battle where Peter is completely excluded while Lloyd gets to play two characters. That being said, Peter does nail the Austin Powers impression, so it's all good. This battle's a really cool concept, a character rapping against their own parody version, and then an earlier version of the character comes in and disses on their modern version. The battle does basically cease to be about Austin Powers at that point, but I think it works because neither version of Bond considers him a serious opponent.
This battle is loaded with great lines too - in addition to the quote above, we also have "I'm licensed to kill, you couldn't get a learner's permit", "Spell my name, all the ladies wanna B on D, any sex appeal you might have is beyond me", "I only need one round, golden gun", and "I don't need a Q to break your balls". Brilliantly clever writing.
I will say that the background effects for modern Bond, while they definitely do look cool, are a bit too much to the point of being distracting. Maybe it was a deliberate choice to contrast with classic Bond though, as a way to convey that the modern Bond films are a lot more about flashy spectacle than the more grounded stories the early films had, I dunno.
36. Mozart vs Skrillex
Winner: Skrillex
Best line: "I attack, you decay, can't sustain my releases! Sidechain, Wolfgang! Bangarang you to pieces!"
This battle is everything that Bieber vs Beethoven should have been - a battle between a modern musician and a classical one that actually gives the modern one a fighting chance. Plus it actually changes the background music to match the style of whoever's rapping! This battle is great, no real notes here. Mozart's line about "in two more months the world will forget about your Skrill-excrement" has aged pretty well too given how Skrillex's star has definitely faded since this video's release.
This battle is also notable for being the only one where a real person that was portrayed in an ERB has actually performed it themselves! Skrillex, obviously, not Mozart. The real Skrillex actually came out as a surprise guest appearance in a live performance of the song and helped Lloyd finish it out. I admit, I didn't really know what Skrillex actually looked like, but seeing him side-by-side with Lloyd in costume, yeah, the team nailed his look.
35. Ragnar Lodbrok vs Richard the Lionheart
Winner: Ragnar Lodbrok
Best line: "Your son killed your ex, your ex killed your wife. I'm the Lion King, man, but that's a messed-up circle of life."
This is what I love about ERB, man. I had never even heard of either of these historical figures before this battle, but I watched it, loved the song, got curious what all the lyrics meant, did research on both men, and then went back and rewatched the video with the new knowledge to catch all the references. ERB is truly at its best when it's making learning fun.
Interestingly, the reason this battle was even made in the first place was because the mobile game that sponsored it reached out to Peter and Lloyd and asked if they would make a battle between two of the historical figures in their game in exchange for the sponsorship. Given that the battle was effectively made as an ad for a mobile game, it's shocking how good it turned out. You'd really never know that's how it came to be just looking at the end product.
34. Darth Vader vs Hitler 2
Winner: Darth Vader
Best line: "Roar like Chewbacca, the voice of Mufasa, I'm on the leader of your limp-dicked Luftwaffe!"
And here we go, the second of the Vader vs Hitler trilogy is easily the best one. I feel like it struck the perfect balance - it was bigger and more epic than the first while not feeling fatigued on the idea like the third. Season 2 kicked off with this and you could immediately tell the jump in production quality from season 1. This video had an intro and everything, continuing off from Hitler being frozen in carbonite from the first battle. It's great, what else can I say?
33. Cleopatra vs Marilyn Monroe
Winner: Marilyn Monroe
Best line: "You still got no children after your third marriage. You lost so many babies, we should call you Miss Carriage!"
This was the first battle where neither Peter nor Lloyd play one of the rappers, even though it is not the first female-on-female battle (but we don't talk about Gaga vs Palin). But both performers do a stellar job; I love how Marilyn's demeanor goes from the giggling flirtiness we know her for to becoming increasingly pissed off and hysterical as Cleopatra hurls more and more insults at her (Marilyn's "Translate this into hieroglyphs: Your sandy vagina has a seven-year itch" would have won best line were it not for the sheer brutality of the Miss Carriage line). And getting a professional dancer to portray Cleopatra was a great choice; she's still one of the most visually interesting rappers to have ever been on the series. And no, I don't just mean that in an ogling way.
Also, I think this is the only battle where the same person starts it and closes it out? Which does lead to Cleopatra feeling like she doesn't get as much screen time, but it's certainly not a dealbreaker.
32. Moses vs Santa Claus
Winner: Moses
Best line: "It takes nine reindeers to haul your fat ass. You took the Christ out of Christmas and just added more mass."
This battle was definitely meant to be a stand-in for Jesus vs Santa; that was the matchup we all really wanted to see. But someone somewhere must have gotten cold feet about dissing a figure that millions worship, so Jesus got swapped out for someone Jesus-adjacent. Hey, I'm a Christian, and I know I still would have found a Jesus rap battle hilarious.
But whatever, even though it's not exactly what we wanted, what we did get was still great. The fact that they actually managed to get motherfucking Snoop Dogg as a guest star because he happened to be using the same studio as ERB at the time still blows my mind; I don't think any guest star is ever gonna top that. And they certainly had some fun with having him on board - I love that they managed to make jokes referencing him while still being appropriate for Moses, like "smoking all that burning bush", or "so much drama in the IsraeL B.C.". This is a battle that just always puts a smile on my face.
31. Nikola Tesla vs Thomas Edison
Winner: Nikola Tesla
Best line: "I don't alternate my flow, I diss you directly!"
I love how this battle really leans into how we now perceive Tesla and Edison, with Tesla being a hero for the people and Edison as the greedy villain who kept him down. Good stuff. Don't really have a whole lot to say about this one, it's just a good battle with two very memorable personalities, and Peter's Tesla voice is very pleasant to listen to. And of course, the electric synth in the background track was a must.
30. JRR Tolkien vs George RR Martin
Winner: George RR Martin
Best line: "All your bad guys die and your good guys survive. We can tell what's gonna happen by page and age five!"
All right, so, I ain't the most well-versed in the fantasy genre, but I still really like this one. The underlying argument between the two men here is something I've seen time and time again on the internet - "happy endings are boring and predictable" versus "eschewing happy endings just for the sake of it isn't automatically good". It makes for good battle fodder. Also I just love Lloyd's performance here - it's so loud and boisterous, and his "No he didn't!" is A+.
Okay folks, click here for the third and final part as we rank the best of the best!
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The Madame Web trailer does look interesting to me (although I am side-eyeing the weird Amazon subplot rather heavily, leaves a bad taste in my mouth) but it also really says something to me that they basically wanted to make a Spider-Woman movie but Not and also to have their cake and eat it too. Bc the original Madame Web is… an old disabled woman. And if they wanted a younger Madame Web, they could’ve just had it be Julia Carpenter?? That’s actually who I assumed Dakota Johnson’s character was supposed to be when I first saw the trailer. Julia is the one who currently uses the Madame Web alias. But instead they aged Julia down significantly, making her a teenager/young adult to Dakota Johnson’s 30-something.
And then with Aña and Mattie— who were originally teenagers, but it’s worth noting 1. Mattie was originally white, and also 2. Aña is now an adult woman in the comics, so choosing to represent her as a teenager is intentional — it does remind me of what they did with Carol and Monica, placing an adult white woman as a mentor to a younger woman of color even though that was not a dynamic that existed in the source material.
(Also, the only racebent character being the one where they cast a Black actor to play someone whose major arcs included a. Being obsessively in love with Spider-Man, despite the fact he was twice her age and b. Having her boyfriend use her body to harvest drugs [yes, seriously] and c. Is currently perma-dead in the source material… Hm! Interesting choice they made there!)
It’s also interesting to me bc the mcu just Really fucking hates older women (casting women under 50 to play Agatha, Aunt May) and also Dakota Johnson has this known reputation and image as a quirky relatable everygirl. It’s not even new for them to age down an adult character into a teenager— Look at America Chavez.
And it’s similarly not surprising to me that they would avoid making a movie with a blind, physically limited, chronically ill protagonist, old woman or young. I guess that’s par for the course at this point.
Anyway. We already know marvel studios desperately wants to capture a certain young female audience, but is only willing to do the bare minimum to entice them. The movie might honestly still be interesting, but I don’t think that negates the ongoing problems the mcu has with how it engages w women’s stories (and also race, and disability).
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I hate anti-discourse with a passion - it squicks me out these days - but as Fandom Old I have a perspective that seems obvious to me, but seems to get missed by a lot of people.
When I was 15-18 I read adult-minor smut. Mostly Harry Potter/Snape because it titillated me. Then I left fandom space for quite a while during my education before coming back to it as an adult.
Now those self-same fics that I used to really enjoy squick me out. Therefore my conclusion is that the majority of people ready those particular stories put themselves in the position of less power, and most people who get weird about those fics /can't/ see themselves in that position or would hate that position no matter the relationship dynamic, and can't quite separate the fiction of it all from what they are picturing.
I've always been a ship-and-let-ship or kink tomato advocate myself so I guess I am 'pro' but also... want less than nothing to do with it. I had it blacklisted on here for years... but for some reason your recent engagement with it slipped through my filters
I have a different explanation: I think it's normal for a lot of teens to look at adults and see them being adults and want to reach for that themselves and want to be considered adults in their own right, while not realizing that they are still very much children. As a society we put a lot of focus on "when you're an adult" and "when you're 18" and "when you're grown" and "when you're independent" and it's normal for that age group to resent still being grouped in with children because they want the kid gloves to come off already.
The problem with that is that they are, indeed, still children. Whether they like it or not. And I don't really think 18 and 19 are that much different from 17, tbh. I didn't really feel like An Actual Adult until I was closing in on 25. But I did feel like I went from "child" to "adult" overnight in the world's eyes when I hit 18, even though nowadays I do not feel like I was mature enough to be considered legally the same as a 40 year old.
This also is worsened imo by the prevalence of adult actors playing children. The cast of Glee is supposed to be a mixed bag of 13-19 year olds and I don't think a single actor involved was younger than 21. The Harry Potter kids started at the same ages as they were supposed to be, but because the movies didn't release every year, the same thing happened where a bunch of 20+ year olds are playing characters that are supposed to be 17. Vampire Diaries did the same thing. Teen Wolf did the same thing. A lot of media developed for teenagers casts actual grown adults as teens and as characters teens are supposed to find attractive.
To me it's no fucking wonder so many teens are drawn to fan works with less great implications about the age gaps. Do you know how many kids my age thought Brad Pitt and Orlando Bloom were the hottest things they've ever seen? How many girls were squealing over the boys of NSYNC and Backstreet? Teens are encouraged to find adults attractive by our society and a whole bunch of them grow up into adults who look back and go "ooh, big yikes" at the exact same thing when they see current teens doing it.
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is such a weird contrast between Got cast and House of the dragon cast. Like even though they are not as much talent as Hotd, most of them cared about those characters and understand them. While hotd cast (mostly) have so little hope for their nerd show to gain a award them not even attended and another who went didn't even have the slightest preparation and composure.
I wonder that now the show is a successful piece of work how the discourse will change when they get close to the second season premiere.
The reason for that is fairly simple.
"Game of Thrones" at its core was held together by veteran and seasoned actors that were professionals at the heart of it . David and Dan were pretty amateurish but the production was surrounded by experienced people that maintained a professional work environment.
"House of the Dragon" and its cast are not veteran nor seasoned actors. Matt Smith, Paddy Constantine, and Rhys Ifans, are about it in terms of core veteran actors in the cast - Corlys and Rhaenys are not core cast members. The younger actors are very talented but are very, VERY, far from being professionals.
In particular the actresses - Olivia Cooke, Emma D'arcy, and even Phia Saban, are flat out immature both on and off set while representing the show - I don't care about their personal lives, they can do what they want on their own time.
A good example of this is the Press Tour.
A Press Tour is not just for promotion of a show, but to set the tone for your character and shape a narrative around them. They're very important moments to set talking point about your character and the plot of the show - to give you as an actor and the character armor. Instead, Olivia Cooke and Emma D'arcy used it to fuck around for weeks, not caring about promoting the show, not caring to protect their characters, nor to have dialogue about the characters. They basically sat there with each other's thumbs up their asses and acted like teenage school girls and not professionals.
Thus, there was a deluge - DELUGE - of hate for Alicent that was near psychosis, and there was nowhere for anyone to fall back to, because, Olivia Cooke never once went out and defended her character or point of view - LIKE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO IN A PRESS TOUR! So, instead, she moped and cried like a immature child that people were being mean to her, when she had a golden and offered opportunity to get ahead of it, but instead, chose to laugh it up for a week with D'arcy.
The one thing you could say about Lena Headey was that, yes, she was also a woman-child, who was incredibly immature for someone in their 40's. But she always used press to defend Cersei and never sided against her. In the press tours she always had valid points about where Cersei was coming from and really understood her character as the character - a real living and breathing separate person - not as an extension of herself.
Olivia Cooke couldn't be bothered to understand Alicent. Instead, to make her more palatable to her rich white leftist luxury politics, she made up a bunch of things that have nothing to do with Alicent Hightower so that Cooke could be more 'comfortable' playing her.
That's the difference between a talented amateur and a seasoned professional.
Of course, Lena Headey didn't like or agree with Cersei as a person, but she put aside her ego and embodied the character to a stellar performance, cause that is what great actors do.
Olivia Cooke is not capable of putting aside her scruples nor her ego to understand and embody Alicent to the fullest extent. Neither can D'arcy as Rhaenyra. They both try to put themselves and their personal wants into the character, rather than disappearing into the role. Not only is it the sign of immaturity, but it shows a deep lack of commitment to their craft and the show as a whole. Cause they don't give a fuck ... they pick up the check on Tuesday and bother their agent about the Emmy campaign ... cause why else would they be doing this "Nerd Shit" if they didn't have too?
"Game of Thrones", for a good portion of the show - till the end anyway -, was trying to tell a human story with human characters in a fantasy world realized by hard working and good hearted production staff.
"House of the Dragon" is in danger of being a vehicle for simply a bunch of ambitious and narcissistic people. From Sapochnik and his wife, who tried to change the source material cause they didn't like it. To Sara Hess who wants to put her own personal bullshit agenda into the lifeblood of the narrative - ruining characters like Aegon and Criston. And Cooke and D'arcy, who are simply signed up for awards and couldn't give a shit about anything or anyone else.
But time will tell, Nonny, time will tell.
#House of the Dragon#Game of Thrones#Olivia Cooke#Emma D'arcy#Lena Headey#Alicent Hightower#Cersei Lannister
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