thinking about how men only have to do the barest of minimums to get soo much credit for respecting women. literally a man can be like "I think sometimes women can be smart" and he'll get a hundred women being like wow feminist king 😍😩🙌
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shoutout to the guy in my chem class who i’m in a little study group with who i guess took the time to look at my profile on discord and figured out my pronouns (i didn’t bother announcing them to the group because i didn’t want the hassle)
my guy has only gendered me correctly, both out loud when we’re talking in office hours and in text in the study group group chat.
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i get so frustrated with ppl who wont just fucking help themselvessss. obviously theres a spectrum of pain and subsequent ability when it comes to mental illness but ive known so many people specifically gay people who let themselves live in squalor all while going to therapy taking medication and claiming to take care of themselves. thats the thing self care is NOT doing nothing, self care is actually doing the dishes sorry. its taking the trash out. calling the doctor and making an appointment. being an ADULT. i live with two people in their mid to late 20s who only do a chore once every few weeks and if i ever deign to bring it up i get either aggressive or apologetic responses about depression and struggle. as if im not constantly struggling. i force myself to do things bc they make me feel better… me and you are not all that different. ignoring your human life maintenance or outsourcing it to other ppl is the biggest form of self harm thats become normalized in certain communities
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does the reception of the fest and the increased flow of creative output make you feel like you would want to stay? does it make you rethink what you call your imminent exit? just sad thinking that we will lose someone with your passion and drive and dedication 😞
ahh well unfortunately it’s not really by choice 😔 i start law school in a couple weeks and i’m kinda piloting blind, yknow? in a whole new city studying material in my second language and i don’t really know anyone or have many connections in the field… so i’m rlly gonna try and dedicate myself to Being A Good Student and Networking and Being Normal, which means my time for Being A Seb Stan will probably diminish to almost nothing ): already even just with the move i haven’t been able to sit and work on creative projects and i’m so emo over it, it’s probably unhealthy..
idk, i know people have been able to manage a school-work-social balance and i may be good enough to do that at some point? but ugh atm this is the biggest opportunity of my life and i really don’t want to fuck it up by prioritizing things that aren’t as important ahhh 😭
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i was talking to my grandma and i managed to say that one of my profs has unacceptable political views and i didn't even finish the sentence and my grandma went 'IS SHE PRO-ISRAEL OR WHAT?' and i was like omg. grandma? and then she went OFF. like. i didn't even know she visited israel years ago and she started telling me how terrified she was when she saw how they were treating palestinian people and that since then she's always thought it's an apartheid regime. man i had no idea !!!
and then at home i was getting ready for a fight with my father (former soldier, i was sure he supports israel because we've had this fight years before) and when i was commenting on the news and cursing, he didn't even say anything. and he's ALWAYS ready to argue with me. this is a nice surprise
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my new year’s resolution is to do more creative writing!! not just fanfiction, i wanna start writing stories about oli and my other yandere oc i haven’t introduce yet. ever since 2022 my life has been on the up and up so i hope 2024 will be good for me and all of you too!!!!
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