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popculturebuffet · 3 months

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Batmarch!: BTAS: See No Evil Review

Hello all you happy batpeople and welcome to batmarch! For the next few weeks expect some caped crusader content same bat whenever I get to it, same bat blog all through march! This fine theme month came about thanks to Kev having a bunch of bat-ideas, me wanting to cover the 89 film for it's anniversary, and it all swirling around till eventually it became a theme month. I want to give bat-credit where it's due after all.

To kick it off we've got a return to what's become a recurring guest on this blog: Batman: The Animated Series. Last time I covered it after the sad loss of Richard Moll, I talked about wanting to cover this episode and when the theme month came up.. well.. I couldn't resisist.

See No Evil is one of my faviorite episodes of Batman the Animated Series and a great showcase of just about everything that makes the series as good as it is: Letting sitcom stars try out something diffrent that shows off their dramatic chops? Check. Awesome animation. Check. A great unique premise masterfully staged in 20 some minutes yup. An intresting and hearbreaking villian? Yupppp. This is one of the most stacked episode sof the series and rewatch only made me find MORE to love about it. And if you haven't heard of this one... your in for a treat. I highly recommend going to watch it first as my review isn't a substitute for the full episode. It is worth a look under the cut to spotlight WHY this episode shines so much.

We open in a little girl's bedroom. Her name is Kimmy and she has a special friend. His name is Mojo

No not him. He didn't exist yet. No Mojo is an invisible man, and Kimmy is played by future star Elizabeth Moss... who sadly would not escape being stalked by invisible men in high tech suits as an adult, but would get at least another amazing story out of it. Or we would.

Mojo then finds out some news that while he tries his best to hide his reaction from Kimmy, clearly bothers him: Their moving soon and Mojo may not be able to find her.

Before he can give up the game, Mojo disappears when Kimmy, the girl in question,'s mom shows up: Elizabeth, played by the legendary Jean Smart of Designing Women and Hacks royalty. It's neat to see her in a dramatic roll like this, and despite growing up with Desining Women.. I NEVER knew this was her but i'm happy she's here. Elizabeth assumes Mojo is just imaginary.. even though a kicked can and movement in the earlier scene shows not so. Granted while Imaginary Friends are possible in the DCU, it's still at the early point where I get her not going to that: Most of batman's rogues are criminals with gimmicks and what few meta human foes he has are downplayed a bit here in their powers: Ivy isn't at full control plants levels yet, using more toxins and trained plants, Killer Croc just has a skin condition and Clayface.. well okay clayface still counts. But most every day people probably don't know every foes batman's fought and evne if they had don't assume this is one of those situations. I bring this up because after so many damn works where "oh well this can't be real even though superheroes exist" come up, it's refreshing to see one where that's.. actually entirely plausable and you don't feel like the characters an idiot for not knowing this. Most superheroes in this setting hadn't publicly debuted yet and those we know had by this time like Zantanna or Wildcat were either other street level heroes, or in zantanna's case protected by the veil of stage magic.

Mojo's next target is a jewlery exchange.. which has low security for anywhere, especially Gotham: Costumed Crime Captial of the World. I was going to gripe about this scene as Mojo's big plan for having an invisiblity suit.. is to just straight up rob people with it, stealing the jewelery as their brougth out of their cases and basically doing a smash and grab. But I realized something as I wrote this: Mojo being this clunky with his suit.. is deliberate. Mojo is, as we'll find out shortly, is a petty criminal. He dosen't have the need for theatrics Batman's normal rogues have, and he dosen't have the experince to pull off an elaborate heist. Of course he's going to see an invisiblity suit as more of a blunt tool to use rather than the very dangerous and versital one it is.

He's not entirely stupid, he knows how to use it as we see when Batman, who naturally was at the exchange as bruce either on rich person buisness, wayne corp buisness or "oh my god these idiots barely hired any security better be ready" buisness, fights him. Bruce is thrown off as even if he knows from Mojos's crimes t his opponent is cloaked that .. dosen't really help when your cowl dosen't have infared or anything. It just looks dope. And yes later cowls do but this one clearly isn't high tech to the gils like later entries, it's just dope as fuck. Batman does do the obvious when fighting an invisible opponent: Spill shit on them, in this case plot convience paint... but whoever built Mojo's suit thought of that or Mojo himself did as he has a setting to melt it off, a clever subversion of the usual tactics that gets batman a batassbeating. And that again shows Lloyd's style: even though we don't know exactly what he went away for, his style is all smash and grab: blunt force. He only beats the more experinceed combatant bruce in one on one. .because Bruce can't see him and dosen't hav etime to listen closely.. and even if he did it'd be too late. It's what makes "Some guy what got an invisible suit" work as a batman villian: Yes he's not as flashy and yes he has a simple gimmick.. but sometims all you need is a simple power. It's something I never thought about before but most of batman's clever gadgets.. are sight based. Even the gas bomb would only be mildly useful at figuring out WHERE he might be and with a full face mask, it woudln't do any actual damage, while Lloyd could pull down batman's gas mask and make him go sleepy bye. Batman.. isn't invincible and his stories are at their best when the writers remember that.

Mojo slinks back to his place and we get the shocking reveal that he's...

A guy who looks like a human ventriquist dummy? Did Slappy finally become human and end up fighting batman? Because i'd pay good money for that instalment of goosebumps, just saying.

No this.. objectively weird looking man is Lloyd Ventrix aka Kimmy's Dad. As a kid I found the idea of mojo creepy.. as an adult I find it deeply unerving. Part of this is having a passle of nieces and nephews, so the idea of an unstable man, let alone one the parent dosen't want seeing thier kids, sneaking to see them in a way their unaware of and that the kid impliclity trusts is fucking terrifyign. Part of it is just the idea of a person your trying to escape being able to find you and do whatever he pleases no matter how far you run is fucking horrifying. It's why the 2020 invisible man film is so good.. and so terrifying I haven't watched it since I saw it theatrically. It is a LOT on the nerves. It's also why both can coexist as this episode captalized on a different kind of fear: instead of an abusive ex, it's an abusive ex spouse who you are COMPELTELY unaware is contacting your kid till it's too late.

It's also what brilliantly creates the episodes tension: by the first commerical break WE know who this invisible man is to a point and what he wants, but not HOW he got invsible, or if Batman can solve the mystery of the how and who in time to get to Llloyd before he kidnaps Kimmie.

Before we move on i'd like to spotlight Lloyd's voice actor: While I always loved the performance here I didn't know the man behind the invsible man until this review.. and it was a nice reveal too: Michael Gross of Tremors and Family Ties fame. It's the latter that helps this role as in his scenes as "Mojo", Lloyd has that same kind warmth Gross had on Family Ties as Steven.. when he wasn't comically breaking down or reacting to his children's shenanigans. And that.. makes it ten times creepier coming from someone whose activley manipuating and stalking a child.

Not only that he transitions well to Lloyd in the rest of his life, wether it's his cockiness ast his power when fighting batman or his assuredness when trying to win back elizabeth, which we'll get to in a second. It's a brilliant performance that makes me wish he could've come back or they'd brought him back in another roll: Gross is just damn good portraying a man whose determined to get what he thinks he's owed no matter what it takes.. but can't understand WHY no one wants him around.

Case in point, that trying to win back his ex wife thing. He shows up at her work, and his defense to his wife understandably not wanting anything to do with him isn't "i'm changing as a person I just want a chance ot see my kid" or "I know I screwed up and you have every reason not to listen to me but hear me out" You know stuff that shows your contrite and genuinely reformed. Instead Lloyd shows he learned nothing from prison a his only response is "I got why you needed the restraining order when I was a bum but i'm bigger now". Yes really. Elizabeth tells him to shove it and stay way from his daughter then to just "disappear" unfortunately for her she's in a horror story and said something tragically ironic.

The good news is she's also in a batman story and thanks to plot convience turns out the inventor of the cloak of invsiblity pitched it to them last year, and he has his tech guy bring up the info on the man's assitant.

Batman decides rather than talk to said assitant, who could be the invisible man, to .. rifle thorugh the guys cabinets

Naturally when the man hears Batman bat rifling through his shit, he tries to throw a rack on him.. and batman's response to this entirely resonable reaction is

Gee your just.. so likeable bruce. Thankfully he does actually stop when the guy makes it clear he was here the last few days. And look jokes aside I get bruce dosen't know if this guy did it.. but there are more subtle ways to deal with this shit or someone understandably thinking your trying to rob them than the bat fist. There are better uses for the bat fist. And yes I meant that sexually, I will not be taking questions.

The Science Man explains that he's actually destroying all the fabric. Turns out while he was able to make it turn stuff invsible it's highly toxic. He was trying to correct that problem but coudln't, so he's destroying it. And i'm baffled why there was an entry on tv tropes saying "Well why can't he use it on cars" as we see it used. And to this I say this guy is picking up his old mentor's work, probably sunk a lot of money into remaking this and testing it, and has had some time to do so. If he COUDL salvage this project he would've.

Turns out Floyd was their old assitant though in a pompus way Science Man says he was "really more of an errand boy". Gee I can't imagine why he stole from you. Such a puzzler.

At any rate this slightly douchey science man has given Batman all he needs and he goes to talk to Elizabeth. To Bruce's credit his prorities are in order: he wants to save Lloyd from dying rather than get the jewels back.. I mean he will, he's the goddamn batman, but he'll save the guy who stole them first. Maybe punch him a bit.

Elizabeth connects the dots about the invsiblity suit and mojo.. but Lloyd's already one step ahead as during this scene he's been talking about taking kimmy to a special place

She does as he takes her to a drive in theater nearbye and plans to take her away but she dosen't want to get into a car with an invisible man. So he takes the mask off.. and credit to Kimmy she instantly realizes "Shit this wasn't my imaginary friend". I mean granted it probably wouldn't be BETTER if it was

Fun fact: I did not realize this was coming out the same week as this review. Dates are fun

Anyway, Kimmy realizes it's not just her imagination and won't run away with him, so he reveals himself as her father.. and her reaction is not what he expected

Yeah it turns out Elizabeth isn't stupid and it's something I love about the episode: Elizabeth didn't make that mistake you see in 87 percent of tv parents who don't trust their shady ex. She TOLD kimmy about him. She didn't hide it, she didn't try to keep ti as some dark secret so he can manipulate it later: She just told her in terms a kid would understand: her dad is a bad man and should not be trusted. Granted the fact he looks like if archie andrews became a vampire should tell her that but the point stands.

This is also the great tragedy of Lloyd Ventrix: he wants his family back.. but he can never understand WHY they don't want him back. Floyd could've worked his way back to his daughter by staying clean after prison, staying at his job, finding another if he didn't work for Errand Boy Man, which is a fair thing not to want. Am I saying it would've been remotely easy? No, our country isn't set up to help ex-cons and treats them like pariahs, like every former prisoner is lloyd when some genuinely want to change and others were victims of circumstance. But he could've had his daughter back or at least a CHANCE at it had he genuinely tried. Elizabeth is reasonable, while she wouldn't want him around the guy she'd at least give him a chance to see kimmy if it was shown he really changed.

That's the rub though: Lloyd dosen't WANT to change. He's a smash and grab guy and that's who he wants to be. It's in most things he does: He has an invsible suit.. yet uses it for smash and grabs and his fighting style when fighting the bat is hit him with a blunt insturment. or maybe it's more of an object. But i'ts blunt hard and blunt. He says he's not a two bit hood when talking to elizabeth.. but that's relaly ALL he is. He could've conquered the gotham mafia, conquered the city, or even gone the other way and became a hero himself, fighting to make the city better. He has all this power.. but he still thinks in terms of "how can I smash this thing in my way" "what can I grab". He's emotinally and creatively empty.. and thus he can't understand why Kimmy won't accept him just for being her dad.

As a production note, the only one I have for this episode Kimmy was SUPPOSED to be in the final chase scene for a bit, but standards and practices were like

Because a child's lost criminal father pretending to be her best friend and her being in danger every time he's in the room? That's fine. But oh no she can't have a car chase.

So Kimmy runs home to her mom and Batman and Llloyd begin tussling, with Lloyd turning the car invsible with him and a passerby assuming batman can fly now which.. is fair. I'm suprised he dosen't have a bat jet pack.. wait did he have a bat jet pack? Questions for later

Bruce takes another beating, begging lloyd to consider but it's clear he's drunk on his own power and we see while he's a blunt intersturment/object/whatever he is it's hard and blunt, he gets this suit means no matter where Elizabeth and Kimmy go they'll neve rbe safe. Thankfully for him Lloyd made the mistake of fighting batman on a water tower and Batman's able to douse him, shorting out the suit. It's a clever set up: While water is also a common invsiible man fighting tool, when explaning how it worse it runs on an electric currrent. It's probably why it has the dohicky to steam stuff off.. but LLoyd can't get rid of that much water and he's out

The ending is masterful as we get a repeat of the opening scene: Kimmy is once again talking to a special friend, telling him that their move is final and Lloyd will never find her again. The vistor exits.. but thankfully it was batman, and we get a nice echo of the first scene: this time instead of playing it off.. elizabeth's relieved. Kimmy lost an imaginary friend, lost a father.. but gained a batman.

See No Evil is excellent and highly underated: It's a tense tightly packed 20 minutes with a nice twist on the usual batman detective formula the show uses: we know WHO did it but it's all about HOW and if Batman can find out in time. Smart and Gross are fantastic in this and it results in a tense, eerie little tale packed with tension. It's 22 minutes of perfection and worth checking out if you have max.

Thanks for reading and i'll see you some bat time, same bat blog.

#batman #batman the animated series #see no evil #kevin conroy #dc comics #dc #jean smart #michael gross #elizabeth moss

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kcuf-ad · 1 year

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My Least Favourite Fic Of All Time

The fic I am talking about is from GhostKaiser23's Jaden's Harem fic, in which I would rather eat sandpaper than ever read it ever again.

Now, here is the first problem, it is a harem fic, and at the time I was into in, but now I feel emberrased that I even liked that genre.

Here are my minor problems: Jaden uses an Evil Hero deck, which is never explained whatsoever, and I feel like they wanted him to look cool, but it fails. Jaden here is nothing like the canon counterpart, but instead it is replaced by some OC bum whose adopted parents are Yugi and Tea, which is a horrible decision. They insult the Gravekeeper's Chief by calling him a douchebag, even though he has the full right to be angry at them due to tresspassing on their shit. Their comedy is so unfunny. They have like one funny moment, but that is it, in the entire 80 chapter fic, I only laughed once. They want to sound all edgy with all of the writing like kicking them in the balls, but it just comes off as childish. The writing is horrendous, like they want to come off as like Deadpool, but it ruins the writing of the fic, like we get it, just shut the hell up and let us read the fic like normal people, and a pet peeve, but whenever they want to make sure a word is slightly louder than the other, they always go off in BIG CAPTIAL LETTERS.

The duels are one sided, and aren't fun to read. Zane (Or Zana) did not inflict a single point of damage to Jaden. That's right. ZANE TRUESDALE. Not some idiot that just learned the game, but the greatest duelist on the island.

Here are now my major problems:

They always go on the character's design, which is good, but for some reason they keep on describing the size of a woman's... you know what, and they even had a whole ass compentition on that. Hell they even mock girls that are flat, and I just hate that. Like I just hate any form of bodyshaming, but this is just wrong. Like REALLY wrong.

The Romance is just awful, and doesn't make any sense. Like one chapter, Alexis says that she knows that Jaden won't cheat on her, BUT, a couple of chapters later, he fucks Fonda, gets her pregnant and gets away with it, like WTF?! Not to mention, that Fonda was so sure that she will keep a baby from a student, and wanted a student to be a dad to her baby, like DAFUQ?! And Yugi and Tea aren't like why is this woman sure that you are being the baby's dad, but no they are like "HURRAY! We are grandparents!"

There is an incest and non con scene in one of the chapters. Which, no, just no. They try to make it look like a bad thing (the incest part), but the author also ships Bwen, which if you know, is incest.

They bash any character that was somewhat of a jerk in their episode, into the massive assholes on the planet, even Hassleberry, like why?

Crowler bashing, which okay, could work if it is meant in good meaner, but NO! They make him into the biggest asshole on the planet for no reason, like they haven't watched Season 4 at all! Like this man has no character arc, no redemeption and NOTHING! It boils my fucking blood! I just know that they think Sasuke is the biggest piece of shit on the planet, I just know it.

The main reason why I hate this fic, Zane (Zana) Bashing. Zane is genderbent in this version. The way that they treat and write her is just the most, horrendous writing I have ever seen. She never wins a single duel, she is stomped in every duel without dealing a single life point of damage, became a yandere, sexually assaulted Jaden, slapped Blair, treated Syrus like trash, and made her out to be the biggest piece of shit on the planet.

In conclusion: Fuck This Fic.

#rant #fanfiction rant #fanfic rant #fuck this fic #vent #this felt good to write

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aboyandhisstarship · 3 years

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the hunger games or the quillan games which one is worse for joe average? which games are worse etc

oh man i have spent a truly ungoldy amount of time thinking about this as a kid.

but before we can have this discussion they need to be a few concessions.

1. pretty much everything about Quillan we know is from Bobby’s experice as Challenger Red, Nevva Winters and Saint Dane. Bobby was never able to talk to pretty much anyone else about Quillan they shut him down real quick.

2 one of those sources is Saint Dane, who is an insane lying time traveler

Spoiler's for the Quillan games under the cut:

the other is Nevva winters who we find out is in league with Saint Dane and got another Traveler killed, and betrayed Bobby the people of Quillan and pushed the territory into chaos. so we must take all we learn from them with a small grain of salt. as they were manipulating Bobby into a controlled outcome.

another thing worth noting is I only ever read the hunger games back in ninth grade (freshman high school) so it’s been a minute and I have not gotten that far in my Pendragon series re read for the Camp camp AU So I may be mistaken on some detail's.

alright with that out of the way let’s hop right into it.

(spoiler's for at least the Rivers of Zadaa, the Quillan games and maybe more of the pendragon series)

Quillan is the seventh territory Saint Dane attacks. he is stabbed by Bobby after he kills Loor on Zadaa, he hops into the flume and sends Bobby a taunting rhyming message through the flume to come to Quillan.

The flume is in the wall of a warehouse so large that Bobby can’t find his way out for at least a couple of hours and the Quigs are robot spiders (it’s possible that Quillan may not even have animals anymore?)

one thing Bobby is made a challenger because Nevva left him challenger clothes' by the flume, Katniss becomes a tribute to save her sister. this is another big difference between our main characters, Bobby has been running around the universe trying to stop saint Dane for years. he has a mixture of Zadaa and Denduron warrior training, to put him in the context of the hunger games...Bobby is a career.

that is not to say of course that Bobby would enter the games of either world on purpose. god no he hates death games as much as the next guy. but he is in a unique position to experice the games differently.

speaking of lets talk about the fundamental difference between the Quillan games and the Hunger Games.

1. Hunger games have a winner

ok now the term Winner is pretty subjective. but in the technical sense there is usually a single winner of the Hunger Games, one person survives and is rewarded with the “perks” of winning. on the other side Bobby straight up asks 13(?) his Dado butler if any Challenger's ever retire, and the Dado answers no, they all die playing the games. so the Quillan games have no winners (except for Blok but more on them later)

2. There is no government, the World of Quillan is run by evil Walmart

pretty much what it says on the Tin by the time Bobby shows up Blok runs the entire place, or at least it is claimed to be that way by Nevva and Saint Dane. they are un reliable sources for sure but we do say the board members acting as judges and governors in cases of failure to preform to the company's liking. and we do see the punishment for not being able to sell a large enough volume of jackets in summer is death...which while a bit dramatic leads us to the final major difference between Quillan and Panem

3. The Purpose of the Quillan Games are a tool to give the people of Quillan hope for a better life, while the Hunger games, are a truly baffling attempt to control an enslaved populace

honestly if Panem was a territory I would say the whole hunger games idea was Saint Danes to cause the up rising, because damn the hunger games are a god awful idea. oh you don't want a group of people to rebel...I know lets take there children by force and force them to fight to the death every year! oh and let’s make them watch! yea not a recipe for success, not to mention the fact that they gave one of those districts nukes! (the capital are damn geniuses I swear) a rebellion is inevitable. on Quillan the rebellion is also inevitable but not because of the games (ok it’s not just the games on Panem, but the Hunger games DO NOT HELP) on Quillan the rebellion's is inevitable because of Mister Pop and there suffering. but back on topic, the People of Quillan bet on the games in the hopes of winning extra food, money a better job house etc, you know stuff that makes life suck less. but since just about everyone is dirt floor poor. they don’t have much to bet with, except...there lives! again sorry a bit melodramatic, but also true we see on several occasions people who either lose the stand alone arcade games or the proper televised games and are hauled off by Dado’s to some unknown fate. Nevva says they are either enslaved as unpaid labor or worse, forced to work in the reactors which are impossible to survive. naturally there is some betting on the Hunger games, but it is not the poor and down trodden doing it in hope of a better life. it is mostly capital dicks being capital dicks.

4: Challengers are “better taken care of” before they die.

a man must be healthy before he can be excuted. same basic idea, since there are no winners in the Quillan games (and they are not called the Hunger games...really flexed your legs with that one huh the capital, you guys came up with that in what 10 maybe 15 minutes) they as Leebarge claims are treated like royalty, and it is true they are well fed and given nice, if clown filled rooms to live in and they throw a party every night. a party that is already pretty hefty but even more so on the days when someone doesn’t die. the tributes generally spend next to no time with each other before the games and are to busy trying not to starve to death and killing each other to throw a party during the games proper.

but now that we have discussed the key differences let’s talk where they are on the same footing.

1: the “Prizes”

both games have the same Prize for “winning” I put Winning in quotes because as already discussed you don’t actually win the Quillan games you just don't lose for a while. if you win the hunger games, you become super doper dummy rich and your entire district gets more food for the entire year. oh yea that will stop people wanting to lynch you with your entrails. then again what you get for being a challenger is way way worse. according to 13 the Robo Butler, Challenger's are chosen by Veego kidnapped from there families and forced to compete, if they win there families get food, and if they lose. and they will sooner or later there family get the ashes.

2. The rise up

both Books have people rise up after a big scale tournament, there is one big difference...Quillan is betrayed by Nevva Winter the Dado’s destroy Mr. Pop the last shred of Non Blok controlled Cultural history on Quillan and Saint Dane has his second territory, and Bobby almost dies for nothing. the Hunger games if I recall correctly it actually works and things suck a lot less...hopefully anyway.

Conclusion:

this is a difficult issue to tackle but I am going to say, Quillan is worse for Joe Average. having to bet your life for a chance for food is a bit worse because it is only the illusion of hope as Saint Dane claims. the games them selves...depends on the year but I will say Hunger games, mostly because if I recall all challengers are about Bobby’s age or a bit older 16- 18, there are no 8 year old's being forced to fight to the death. but yea other then that I would put the two death games on Par.

do you agree? let’s discuss! thanks for reading!

#Pendragon #The Quillan Games #The hunger games #let's discuss #Nevva WInters #Bobby Pendragon #saint dane #katniss everdeen #the Captial are idiots

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ohnoitsoak · 2 years

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“None of them learned boundaries or healthy communication” ok dumbfuck all our communication improved when you and others left. And frankly you’re the one who overreacted.

People who know me know I don’t really get angry. Don’t make me get angry at you too.

#not anyone here that I follow or like. consistently talk to #just interpersonal conflicts that have come up again and this is here in case they decide to fuck around and find out #cause wow you’re a Fuckin idiot #capital F Fuckin captial I Idiot

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ohlookitsthearkhamknight · 3 years

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Fuck Elon, Fuck these business owners that are taking land, fuck these fertility controllers. ITS THEIR HOME QUIT TAKEING IT AWAY FROM THEM. First it was the Bureau of land management taking land away and rounding up horses for cattle grazing now it's these dumb fucks trying to modernize shit. Fuck this

Also the number one thing that pisses me off is the fertility control.

You see blm (bureau of land management) keeps selling land to cattle ranchers which then shorten the grounds that wild horses can roam. So instead of giving them back their land to control over population (IT IS NOT OVER POPULATION, ITS BECAUSE THERE ISNT ENOUGH LAND ANYMORE DUE TO IDIOTIC RICH PEOPLE) They hire people to go out, dart them, and then spay/neuter them. Pisses me the fuck off.

#nevada #wild horses #bureau of land management #fuck elon musk #elon musk #rich people #fuck you #idiots #we need to stop this #its their home not ours #we already send so many to slaughter #now we're just gonna keep killing them #fuck captialism #business #office

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nighttyger · 4 years

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Vegans learn some fucking agricultural science challenge

#nighttalks #i know all of yall arent like that and im sorry #but if i see one more person claim that ‘dairy farmers are idiots’#or pretend that raising your own chickens is somehow less ethical than buying factory farmed eggs #(because the ‘came from breeders’ a) that’s still less money going unethical factory farm systems #and b) no ethical consumption under captialism???)#or say that beekeeping is abusive and that beekeepers MUTILATE THEIR QUEENS to keep them from leaving the hive #(spoiler alert! they just dont fucking leave! they cant fly!)#i will fucking SNAP

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dreamwritesimagines · 2 years

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Reading Anthony's antics in the fic makes me lose more brain cells than his remaining ones. 🤪 He is a captial I Idiot, but rooting for him to be with Cherie.

Lolll omg😂😂

He really is being an idiot for sure😂😂❤

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producingtrashycontent · 3 years

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Hi! Might I request a Christmassy Mereoleona x William one-shot? It would be cool if it were based on a Christmas song - any one of your liking - but if not, that's okay. I could use a little more fluff this winter and I love your writing style. <3

Of course anon. I bring ZE FLUFF! Just know that I'm basic for liking this holiday song, but you can stick your grapes in the fridge if you think so. Also, don't mind if I poorly represent snow. It doesn't even drop near freezing where I live, so I know nothing about snow. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

"All I Want For Christmas Is You"

William sighed as he watched snow fall from his bedroom window. Why was it so hard to find a gift? William immediately retraced the thought. It was obvious why it was so difficult. Finding a gift for Mereoleona, The Uncrowned, Undefeated Lioness, was a huge endeavor. Mereoleona didn't care for anything. She cared for her family and loved ones, but she didn't care for things such as gifts. A sparring partner would be good for her, but she would probably obliterate them within the first 5 minutes of sparring. William once offered himself as a sparring partner, but that didn't turn out too well.

William was running out of time to find Mereoleona a gift. She told him to meet her on a hill overlooking the giant holiday-themed decorations in the center of the Royal Captial's town square tonight. The sun was starting to set, but William had yet to get her a gift. He was sure she would get him something, so he wanted to get her something meaningful as well, even if it was small. Unfortunately, as the sun set, William's time and ideas had run out. If he were late to the meeting spot, Mereoleona would have his head.

•~•~•~•

Mereoleona bunched a pile of sticks and logs together before setting it on fire with her magic. She wasn't as cold as most people since she was a fire mage, but William would definitely be freezing his ass off here if they stayed out too long. The solution? Make a warm fire they could sit beside as they watched the hustle and bustle of the town square while spending time together alone.

Mereoleona spotted movement out of the corner of her eye as she blew on the fire to make it larger. Raising a brow a William's sheepish expression, Mereoleona rolled her eyes.

"What did you do this time, Vangeance?"

"W-what makes you think I did something?" William fiddled with his fingers as he sat beside Mereoleona.

Mereoleona chuckled. "You look as though you ate my favorite food that I'd been saving for several days."

Letting out a breath, William allowed himself to relax. "Something threw me off earlier, but I'm better now."

Mereoleona threw an arm around William's shoulders and pulled him close. "Don't let it bother you. You have more important things to worry about."

William neglected to say anything and instead sat in silence beside Mereoleona. After a moment, Mereoleona opened her coat and pulled out a small box with a bow on it. With tears forming at the corners of his eyes, William shakily opened the box. He pulled out what appeared to be a small whistle with detailed carvings on it. The carvings reminded him of different types of birds.

"It's a bird whistle." Mereoleona said after William had gaped at the whistle for a few minutes. "It's supposed to attract common songbirds."

Songbirds were William's favorite kind of bird. He blew on the whistle and waited. Some time passed before William realized he was being an idiot. "Oh, I forgot there's no birds around. They went south for the winter."

"I was wondering what you were doing, since no birds were going to come to you."

William put the whistle away in the box and placed it in a pocket of his coat. He felt his nose begin to run and tear beginning to form. This was when he was supposed to give Mereoleona her gift, but he had nothing for her. Wiping his nose, William shifted his weight to face Mereoleona.

"I-um, I don't know how to say this..."

Mereoleona placed a warm finger over his icy lips. "Let me guess: you couldn't figure out what to get me for the holidays."

"How did you know?" William sniffled.

Mereoleona chuckled. "It's written all over your face."

Without warning, Mereoleona pulled William in close. He definitely did not expect to find himself sitting between Mereoleona legs, with her front pressed snug against his back. Mereoleona let out a heavy breath and rested her head on William's shoulder. "I know I'm not the easiest person to get a gift for. I'm honestly not surprised you couldn't find anything for me at all. But, if this ever happens again, just know this."

Mereoleona pressed a long kiss to William's cheek before hugging him tightly. "All I want for Christmas is you. Nothing else."

#black clover #william vangeance #mereoleona vermillion #william x mereoleona #mereoleona x william

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shinobisakura · 4 years

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A Flowers and Shuriken.

PROMPTS CURTESY OF @shisakuweek FOR ShiSakuWeek2020

Friday 21st August :

Soul mark AU

Where you bare a soul mark that corresponds with your soulmate. You can only see your own soul mark, and it flashes when you’re going to meet them soon.

Chapter 1 sets the scene. Chapter 2 is the real interaction. Might actual make a few more chapters to this, rework it and then post on AO3

Chapter 1

Early mornings were not good for Sakura. Ever. Early mornings usually meant skipping breakfast, meeting up with Team 7, an all-out brawl with Team 7, Kakashi-sensei finally showing up several hours after he said to meet up and followed up with some incident that usually dragged her on shift at the Hospital.

Usually.

Toady was not a usual day. I was an incredibly unusual day.

“I’m sorry what?” Sakura spluttered staring at her master.

Sakura along with Yamato, Shikamaru and Hinata were all stood in the Hokage’s office for a last minute mission. None of them knew what it was about, and so far all they’d gotten out of the Hokage was that it was an urgent and immediate mission. So collect your shinobi packs and go. This was the type of mission urgency that only ANBU were sent on- with the exception of the Kazekage retrieval mission a few months ago.

“You four are going to the capital for a very important mission. Because its in the capital, I need the best I can get, and right now that’s you lot.”

“Its not Tora again is it? That mission is such a drag.”

Tora. That damned cat! If Tsunade was sending her on another Tora mission she’d just blow her top. Thirty times as a genin was enough thank you very much.

Tsunade however didn’t seem affected by the comment, and remained as stern as she had began the mission briefing.

“No it is not Tora.”

Silence. Clearly despite the urgency of the mission, Lady-Tsunade was trying to think of the best way to explain the mission without exposing anything critical. Hinata looked around for a moment and then chose to speak up.

“Ts-Tsunade-sama, you said you need the best, but, wouldn’t Na-naruto-kun or Saskue-san or Shino be more suited?”

“No this isn’t suited for them. Naruto and Saskue are likely to burn down the capital in a brawl, Shino is too quiet for this mission, and honestly from what I’ve heard, the Daimyo hates bugs. That would go down just as well as sending you with both of the team 7 idiots. I don’t want Kakashi reading porn in the palace and I really, really don’t want to hear that Genma slept with another Daimyo’s daughter or wife. I just about negotiated for his life in the last case.”

That… was sadly very true. Genma and Raidou had been sent to guard Shizune whilst her fellow medic-nin healed Madam Shijimi. Apparently Genma had caught the eye of the Madam and Daimyo’s daughter, who instantly wanted to add a shinobi shaped notch in her bedpost. That had gone so well for him that it had taken the elders, Lady Tsunade and an offer of engagement for his daughter from the Water Daimyo (curtesy of Naruto begging Kiri’s jinchuriki to help arrange it) for the Fire Daimyo to forget he ever wanted Genma’s head on a pike.

Either way, from Tsunade’s explanation she wasn’t necessarily after the best shinobi but rather the most capable of them. At least the most discreet. Shikamaru seemed to see it that way too.

“So not exactly the best, just the least likely to cause trouble. Damn what a drag.”

“I need you four to meet up with the Daimyo’s guard and pass on this scroll to the guard head. You will return accompanied by said head guard, with the exception of you Yamato, who will be taking over the head guards position until otherwise relieved.”

“Why us? This is going to be such a pain.” Shikamaru compained for the third time that morning.

“Because the four of you are the most qualified for this job. The three of you are all chunin or higher.” Tsunade rubbed the bridge of her nose. “In addition to this, Sakura you have your own mission.”

“Me?”

“Yes. It’s this particular mission that is why you will accompany this team. Once there you will be team leader, as your mission takes over.”

“What? But surely the Head-guard would take over being the more experienced jonin?”

“No. This is your personal mission scroll Sakura. It is only for your eyes and you are not to open it until you reach the guard. Once you’ve read it, you will understand why it is that the team will be under your command. Is that Understood?”

“Understood.” Sakura nodded and then hesitated, her sudden departure from the village might cause more problems than Tsunade would expect.. “Tsunade-hime, will you inform Team-7?”

“I’ll make sure Naruto and Saskue know and don’t burn down the village looking for you.” Tsunade nodded. “Go home, collect your essential and then depart from the sothern gates once you’re all there.”

The team stood to attention and then with that the team departed.

Within only twenty minutes, the newly formed Captial-Team had geared up, departed the village and were well on their way to the heart of the Fire Country.

“Who is the Daimyo’s head guard anyway?” Shikamaru asked.

“I thought you’d already know?” Yamato blinked back in surprise.

“I know he’s Konoha shinobi, but I didn’t bother to know exactly who. The Daimyo goes through them that quickly.”

That was certainly true. When Sakura had been in the academy it was a well known fact that the Daimyo was sending back the Head-guard every few months. None meeting his personal standard, and some not wanting to deal with the Daimyo’s family any longer.

“It’s Shisui Uchiha. Shisui-san has been the Daimyo’s head-guard the last three years.”

Uchiha? Sakura thought. Saskue had mentioned he had a cousin on a long term mission with the Daimyo, but she hadn’t realised it was Itachi’s Shisui.

“Jeeze, that long? What a drag. What’d he do, beg the Hokage to give him relief or something?”

“I don’t know.” Yamato shrugged.

“It’s- it’s probably because Shisui is the most qualified genjustsu shinobi, aside from Itachi-san. There might be a new mission he’s needed for.”

Sakura snorts at that.

“That’s what Sasuke will have you think. I have it from good authority that Shisui is better than Itachi.”

“And who’s that?” Shikarmau scoffed.

“Itachi himself.” She snorted.

That was true. Itachi had once told her over dango that he and his cousin often spared, but Shisui was always one step ahead. Apparently Itachi said that even Shisui’s sharingan was stronger than his, which was a feat in itself as usually it was only main branch Uchiha who’s sharringan had that much potential.

Hinata giggled at that and Shikamaru groans.

“I do believe that is a good authority.” Hinata quipped.

The team lulled into a silence for a couple more miles before Shikamaru spoke up again.

“So Ino said your soulmark’s been flashing.”

Ah Sakura thought. Yes that was true. The last couple of days the soulmark on the inner of her elbow had began to flash bright every so often. She’d only noticed it the morning two days past, having taken of her guards to realise the mark was flashing. She couldn’t tell if she was excited, happy or terrified at the prospect of meeting her soulmate. The mark itself already telling her she’d have feeling for whoever it was.

“Yeah. So?”

“Well doesn’t that usually mean that your about to meet your soulmate?”

“I don’t know Shikamaru, did that happen when you and Temari met?”

“Ugh. You and Ino are going to kill me with your questions. But if you must know yes. What about you Hinata? Did your soulmark flash when you met Naruto?”

“N-no. I believe that the Soulmark only flashes if you and your soulmate are going to have a romantic meeting.”

“But it has flashed for you and Naruto?” Sakura raised her eyebrows.

“Y-yes. Naruto’s soulmark flashed just before he asked me to dinner in Suna.”

That was surprising, seeing as Hinata had been making moon-eyes at Naruto since pre-academy. But then again, Naruto had had a crush on her until two years ago when Sakura explained soul marks to him. Apparently no one had bothered to teach Naruto in the orphanage and since Saskue had met his own soulmate- and it was Uzumaki to everyone’s amusement, Naruto had been confused as to why Saskue was interested in talking to this brash girl since he hadn’t even bothered looking at Sakura.

It had been funny to see Naruto realise that the mark on his hand which no one else had seemed to ever notice, was in fact his own soul mark- A Lion. Then barely a week after it had began flashing and he was Hinata using her new Gentle Step style. Since then the two had began dating and Hinata had blossomed in confidence whilst Naruto developed a new self-awareness (at least where Hinata was concerned). Sakura had thought the reason Naruto’s mark only flashed then was because he hadn’t known that it was his soulmark, but apparently Hinata knew otherwise.

“What about you Captain Yamato? Did your soulmark flash when you met your soulmate?” Sakura looked at her team captain. Said Captain turned bright red and nearly missed ducking a branch.

“What makes you think I have a soulmark?”

“The fact you just turned bright red?” Sakura pointed out. “So who is it?”

“None of your business!”

“Oh come on. Hayate and Yugao are soulmates. Naruto and Hinata, Shika and Temari. We deserve to know!”

“Asuma and Kurenai. Hanabi and that Konohamaru kid.” Shikimaru added with a nod.

“Even Kakashi has a soulmate.” Sakura shot in too, and Shikamaru glanced over to her in surprise.

“Really? Who? Not Gai right?”

Sakura snorted but before she could reply Yamato yelled back at them.

“OF COURSE KAKASHI SEMPAI’S SOULMATE ISN’T GAI!”

“…Is it you.” Shikamaru asked a sly grin on his face before he dodged a kunai thrown at his face.

“I guess so. Wouldn’t have seen that coming.” Sakura grinned at the other two before they continued on, joking as they went.

It didn’t take them too long, and they arrived at the capital in less than a day, and after an hour of paperwork and approval, they found themselves in a cheap hotel on the outskirts of the city.

“Tch. The Daimyo certainly knows how to treat his shinobi.” Shikamaru groaned.

“I thought you’d be pleased, you get to sleep in a bed before we go speak to the Daimyo and his guard.” Sakura quipped back.

The group unpacked their gear slowly making use of their down time before the following day.

“So. What’s your soulmark?” Shikamaru asked raising his brows.

“Shikamaru-san! You can’t asked that.”

“Why not? Might help us narrow it down. There’s a good chance she’ll beet whoever it is in the city, seeing as it only recently started to flash.”

That was true. Soulmarks always corresponded with Soulmates in one form or the other. It just took a little longer for some people to work out.

“Good point. Only fair you tell me yours first.”

“Meh, mine is a fan. You know, cause Temari uses them or something.”

Hinata giggled at that before adding her own.

“M-mine is a kitsune-festival mask.”

Sakura laughed.

“Oh, those are definitely big hints. Although if you didn’t know Naruto it might take a little longer.” Sakura shook her head. Those were easy to recognise.

“So what is yours.” Shikimaru asked, breaking Sakura’s thoughts.

“It’s… It’s weird. It’s like some strange curved Shuriken or something.”

“A shuriken?”

“Kind of? It’s just weird. I thought maybe I’d run into a shinobi who used a custom shuriken or something? Maybe a pinwheel? But I don’t know anyone outside of wind country who are related to pinwheels.”

“Weird.” Shikamaru agreed. “Usually a Soulmark is connected to something unique about the person not their weapons.”

“You literally just said your soulmark for Temari is a fan.”

“Because her jutsu is unique and connected to fans. There have only been three shinobi in Suna history to use fans to slice air.”

“Fair enough.” Sakura slumped down. Her mark would be difficult to work out.

“Look lets sleep on it. Maybe in the morning you’ll know more.” Hinata added and they nodded in agreement. Sleep sounded wonderous.

Chapter 2

“YOU WANT TO WHAT?!”

Apparently the Hokage had not sent word to the Daimyo about the change in his guard. Said guard was stood, face entirely blank, beside the screaming noble. So far the scroll handed to him had only upset the Daimyo into something of a tantrum. In fact, Naruto’s own tantrums when told he couldn’t have ramen seemed like an elders council speech compared to the display before the team.

“We are here to exchange Captain Yamato here, for your current head guard Shisui Uchiha. Whilst we understand the lack of notice -something urgent has come up that only Shisui can help deal with. Yamato here is more than qualified to guard yourself and your family Lord Daimyo. In fact he is the only Shinobi aside from the First Hokage to have the Mokuton. Lady Tsunade selected him personally to ensure your safety.”

If there was one thing Sakura had learned from her master, it was the art of kissing up to nobles to get the outcome you want. Well that and how to hold ones liqueur. But only one of those skills was useful right now, and if anything Sakura would kill for a drink to help deal with this.

“Why?”

“Because your safety is paramount to the peace of the Land of Fire, my lord.”

“No. Why do you need Uchiha?”

“I’m afraid that’s above our clearance to know. As the Hokage’s apprentice she thought that my presence might help reassure you the urgency of this mission as well as our knowledge of how important you are to the Land.”

A little lie didn’t hurt either.

“Yes, yes. I did find it odd for Tsunade to send two clan heirs and her own apprentice.” His face seemed stunned for a moment before he masked it with a sagely imitation of wisdom.

Clearly, only now had the Daimyo realised who Sakura was, probably having thought she was simply a pretty face added to placate him. Technically that was probably also part of Tsunade’s planning, but Sakura didn’t need to let him know that.

After a little more back and forth, Shikamaru adding that technically Shisui was due to leave from the guard anyway, the Daimyo finally agreed. With that they regrettably left Yamato in place of Shisui and the group left. Not having shared a word with each other until they were long out of the capital.

The group stopped after an hour of running and opted to set up camp.

“Holy shit.” Shikmaru finally burst.

“Y-you sounded very convincing S-sakura-chan.”

Sakura, to her credit, simply shrugged as the other collapsed in giggles.

“I had to train with Homura and Koharu in the art of politics. The Daimyo is nothing compared to those old bats and the clan elders.”

Shisui laughed at that. It was warm and reminded Sakura a bit of Naruto.

“Right, before anything else. My name is Shikamaru Nara, this is Hinata Hyuuga, and the political negociator over there is the Hokage’s apprentice.”

“The name’s Sakura.” She grinned. “Very sorry for the unexpected legal kidnapping.”

“I honestly didn’t expect it. So tell me, why have you retrieved me?”

Sakura opened her mouth before closed it. She didn’t actually know, she hadn’t even read her scroll yet, so right now it could be anything. Technically the brief had been to swap Yamato for Shisui and have him accompany them in whatever the new mission was.

“Gimmie a second.” She finally said, pulling out her own mission scroll. It was written formally like any other mission scroll, but there was an obscurity about it that made Sakura scowl.

Sakura, apprentice of Hokage Tsunade. Your mission is to heal the damage done to Shisui Uchiha’s eyes through use of the Sharingan with the assistance of Hinata Hyuuga and Shikimaru Nara. Here is the knowledge compiled on the degenerative abilities of the Sharingan, and what little knowledge we have on preventing it.

Please report back to the village once you are confident in having gathered all the necessary things.

Dispose of this once read

Signed.

Homura Mitokado

Koharu Utatane

Hokage Tsunade Senju.

That- That was impossible. Tsunade herself had explained to Fugaku that the sharingan’s damage was irreversible.

“Are they- THEY CAN’T BE SERIOUS!” Sakura yelled, ripping up the scroll.

“What? What?!” Shikamaru, for once in his life, looked worried.

“Those- those idiots are expecting a miracle.”

“What?”

“Tell me Uchiha-san, how long have you been going blind?”

The following exchange went from Shisui initially denying it to finally Sakura giving him a lecture that he was acting like Saskue did when he was being stupid about a critical injury on a mission. Shikamaru and Hinata decided to make themselves scarce during this exchange, which Sakura thought was probably from learnt experience with her and her squad. After a bit more back and forth Shisui pouted and sat down as ordered, allowed Sakura to cast a diagnostic jutsu after explaining she was a medic-nin.

“So you know Saskue?”

“I’m on his dumbass original genin squad. Sakura Haruano. I’m pretty sure Itachi probably mentioned me at some point.”

“You’re Sakura?”

“What were you expecting. Some burly woodcutter type?”

“I was expecting someone a bit... Younger?”

“ARE YOU SAYING I’M OLD!”

“No! No! I just keep imagining Saskue and his team as 12 year old genin. It’s hard to picture him as anything but.”

“Well him and Naruto technically still are genin. Saskue ended up injured the past two chunin exams. Different incidents of course. And Naruto went on a round trip with the Pervert himself.”

“Pervert... You mean Jiraiya?” Shisui seemed stunned at the name.

“Yes. Could you activate you Shaingan for me?”

He obliged.

“Okay. Now seeing as its just us. Can you show me your other form of sharingan.”

“You know about the Mangekyo.

“Itachi mentioned it on one of his physicals. Said it was draining.”

Shisui nodded, and then activated it.

Sakura froze completely and almost immediately Shisui deactivated it.

“I'm sorry! You asked me to activate it!”

“You- you - you-” Sakura couldn’t get the words out.

How. How the hell was her soulmark in his eyes.

Of course she knew the answer. He was her soulmate.

“I ams sorry. I know that it’s a bit intimidating, but you didn’t seem-”

“Shut up a second!” Sakura finally cut him off. “What’s your soulmark?”

“What?! What does that have to- It’s a flower. Actually, hang on!”

He pulls out a pressed flower from his jacket. It was a purple bell shaped flower, and instantly Sakura recognised it.

“That’s Aconite.” Sakura blinked at the flower.

“Yeah?”

“It’s poisonous.”

What kind of dumbass walked around with a press of a posioness flower in his jacket. Sakura herself didn’t do that. That was beyond stupid and dangerous. Sure she used it all the time, but she was a medic nin she could handle and accidental poisoning. Unless of course Shisui was a poison expert and was using it in some sort of concoction.

“It is?”

No. Apparently he was a dumbass like Naruto.

“Yeah. It is. Why do you carry it around in your jacket? Are you trying to kill yourself?”

“Huh? I just carry it in case I run into my soulmate, then I could pull it out and present it to her.”

Oh, never mind kill himself, he wanted to accidentally kill his soul mate too! If she hadn’t known better, he’d have killed her.

“I use it in my antidotes and- Well its my favourite flower.”

“Your favourite flower is poisonous?”

Sakura snorted. “Ino- my best friend- compared me to an Aconite bud when we become friends. It stuck with me I guess.”

Shisui’s face seems to fill with realisation.

“So... This flower has a special connection to you?”

“Yes, and clearly the curved shuriken is connected to you, seeing as its in your eyes.”

“Wait! Are you trying to say-?”Apparently she had to spell it out for him.

“That that weird dumbass shuriken soul mark I’ve been branded with is actually your mangekyo? Yeah.”

“Huh.”

Sakura snorted once more.

“I guess I’ve got a real reason to be motivated to find your cure now.”

#shisakuweekend082020 #Fic #shisuisaku #sakura #soulmark

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daffietjuh · 5 years

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Fic Writer Ask

Tagged by @acomebackstory which is soooo sweet of you! I feel like such an insignificant little munchkin between some of the talent in this fandom, it’s so sweet of you to think of me!

Author Name:

On AO3, I’m SuchASeeweedBrain. It’s from the good ol’ days in which I was obsessed with the Percy Jackson books, Tbh, I still love them.

Fandoms You Write For:

I wrote some stuff for Shadowhunters/ Malec. I’ve written like, two? stories for Teen Wolf, and now (holy crap I just checked this and) 12 stories for Roswell.

Where Do You Post

I tend to post to AO3 and then link that on my Tumblr.

Most Popular Multi Chapter Story

This Slope is Treacherous My hockey AU of almost 90.000 words.

Favorite Story You Wrote

Oh that’s a hard one.

I loved writing Treacherous it was such an amazing experience and one I learned so much from. It was my first (real) multichapter for Malex and I just love how by the end of it I really felt like I knew this version of the characters and I still miss writing that one sometimes.

Also Son of a Traitor which was such an indulgent fic for me, I wrote it because I wanted to read it and I did actually like how I build that fic.

Story You Were Nervous to Post

All of them? I still get hella nervous every time I post/update things, but one I am/was particularly nervous about is the one I am posting the final chapter of today! Speeding Towards Disaster I really wasn’t sure how this would be received and I’m so thrilled about how awesome the response has been.

How Do You Pick Your Titles

I really don’t have a specific way of choosing titles. For some I go with song lyrics, for others I just come up with something that fits it. Others literally just tell you what you’re getting into.

Do You Outline

Kind of? For multichapters I have to at least have certain story beats I want to hit, but I’m not a massive planner. Generally once I get into it, I’ll make notes for future chapters that can just be stuff I need to remember or things I want to happen or need to happen. They usually involve lots of exclamation marks and captials. But I also just kind of let the story take me where it wants to go.

How Many of Your Stories Are Complete

On AO3, almost all of them! I’m hella proud of that because there’s about fifteen hundred half-ideas and two page starts to fics in my files, but the ones I’ve posted are all finished, or well, they will be once I post the final chapter of Speeding today!

In-Progress

I’ve got a few things I’m working on a little more actively. I’m planning on writing another part for Love At First Sass. Which is pure fluff. I said we needed more fluff in this fandom, so I decided to start writing it myself.

Also, I’ve been playing around with an Alex-focussed story about his time in the Air Force, but I’m not sure if I can get that to a point where I’ll want to post it somewhere.

Also I want to write a Supernatural crossover because every legit fandom needs a Supernatural crossover. I’ve got the story in my head, I just need to write it down.

Coming Soon

Well, today I’m posting the last chapter of Speeding and after that I’ll do the Supernatural crossover probably.

Do You Accept Prompts

Sure! I’ve never really written off a promt specifically send to me, so I have no idea if I’d be any good at it, but if anyone wants to send me a prompt, feel free. Also if there’s anything you want to see from an existing fic that I didn’t include in the original work, feel free to ask about that too.

Upcoming Story You’re the Most Excited For

There’s a few other idea’s I’m playing around with, so it’s mostly just figuring out what my next one will be. I do love the idea of that Alex-centric fic I mentioned above, but that depends on if anyone wants to read it.

Tag Five Fanfic Authors to Answer These Questions

Oh dear. I have no idea who’s done this already, I’ll just tag some folks and if they’ve done this already they can just ignore me.

@pastelwitchling @permetstu and I don’t know who else who hasn’t done this already.... If anyone else wants to do this, just pretend I tagged you! I’m real tired and my brain can’t think of anything but “I must finish my fic” so yeah, I’m off!

#fic writer ask #tagged #sometimes i write things

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m19vergil · 5 years

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the difference btween reboot vergil and normal vergil is that reboot vergil is a joke in itself. wannabe anonymous looking idiot. whereas i can dig into normal vergil as much as id like and i still wouldnt run out of jokes. classic vergil is a captial c, Clown

#hurr hurr i dress in blue and use a katana beacause i hate my brother so much its u-#shut up loser go get some therapy

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deathclassic · 6 years

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there was a review of the american idiot musical in the newspaper and jfc it got such a shit review and 1 star? there was ‘no story’ but clearly the person reviewing it didn’t recognise the stories of a boy becoming addicted to heroin, another going to war and another abusing his gf and realsing how awful he was being and also the album in general is a FUCK YOU to captialism and politics and government and war and everything wrong with the world. Was the reviewer blind to the countless images of donald trump shown throughout the show? ‘The lead couldn’t sing’ bullshit his voice was perfect for green day. Punk doesn’t mean you have to be able to sing it means to be able to carry a message across the world, its meant to be angry, you’re supposed to shout, it’s not a ballad (not counting wmuwse) you’re meant to be screaming. ‘The show put green day to shame’ b u l l s h i t this is exactly what they wanted, it did everything that green day stood for and was uh fucking endorsed by green day

#m talks about bands

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knightofbalance-13 · 7 years

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AKA Insult The Audience and Characters While Wasting Time

http://delvindeep.tumblr.com/post/164570714739/ive-been-thinking-about-the-world-of-remnant

i’ve been thinking about the world of remnant series and how they could have implemented that worldbuilding into the series proper. here’s a few ideas

Which are all just the same version of “one guy asks another guy for exposition” same as literally every other show in existence which WOR is able to subvert and avoid the pitfalls of the ordinary exposition.

dust: the story literally opens in a dust shop. show ruby buying some, having a chat with the shop owner. “is this for raw use, miss, or ammunition?” “yeah, it’s for my baby.” “your baby?” “the scythe” etc. if you actually need us to know the history of its use and how humanity doesn’t know where it came from, give it to us in one of port’s lectures. we don’t have to hear the whole thing; just a couple of key lines, then it fades into background noise as jaune starts hitting on weiss again or some shit because that’s apparently more important than establishing your lore

Except why would Port or anyone be teaching them such basic elements of dust when they are already in an advanced school for this sort of thing and thus would have already had this drilled into their skulls years ago? That’s insulting to the characters for thinking hey are that stupid and insulting to the audience for believing we wouldn’t catch onto that. Also, i guess you’re fine with a shit ton of flaws in the animation since they had to waste time getting lines for the teachers and the students as well as animating all of that. Unless you want to nix a fight scene or a plot point because RWBY is already stretched for time as it is.

kingdoms: did we even need this one? the show already tells us there are four kingdoms called atlas, mistral, vacuo and vale, that atlas is militaristic, that huntsmen academies train huntsmen (no shit) and that life outside the borders is dangerous. see, they know how to do it already!

Except we don’t know WHY Atlas is built that way, we know nothing about Mistral Vale of Vacuo, we don’t know why their actions of treating Huntsmen like soldiers is so looked down upon and why peopel are so on edge with them. That excludes a lot of the tiny details that really enrich the lore such as Atlas having risen up from the snow to become the new captial of the Kingdom or how Vacuo has a different morality than the other two kingdoms due to the harshness of their area. COngrats, you wasted time and money for a much worse, more boring, more drap version of what we already got.

grimm: instead of starting with the dust shop scene, start with some redshirt nomads. one complains that he doesn’t feel safe travelling at night, another makes fun of him, they start arguing, someone else steps in and tells them to shut up because fear and anger will draw the grimm, which it does. if it’s important to know that they don’t attack animals, show some animals, which the grimm ignore after killing all the humans. the shit about older grimm getting smarter is already in the show, the shit about them evaporating when they die is in the show, and the shit it being impossible to keep them captive is contradicted by the show

Okay then, fork over about a thousand dollars to cover the cost of the voice acting and animation. or better yet, do it yourself so that the CRWBY don’t have to stretch themselves out even further. Oh, and listen as the fans complain on and on about there being no new episodes or anything because there is no WOR to tide them over, thus weakening their suspension of disbelief, thus forcing you to maker more detailed lore, thus more time, more gaps, more annoyance and so on until the show is dead.

aura: this is all in the show already. pyrrha gives jaune a hamfisted exposition dump about aura that he shouldn’t need.

Except what exactly it is, what it does, what Sembelnces are, the types of Sembelnces asd well as build up for Salem.

vytal festival: work the origins of the festival into ozpin’s speech instead of that stupid attempt at explaining the colour names

The listen as people bitch on and on about the color names as well as the info they will inevitably forget about since that means they’ll get it a whole yera before needed. Also, that takes longer so cough up more money or time or have a shitter product.

huntsmen: nothing of substance here that we didn’t already know

Except that Huntsmen aren’t the noible heroes that we see which helps ease people into the tonal shift of Volume 3 as well as humanizing the product.

ccts: look, let’s be honest. the only reason this is here is to explain why cinder’s plan is going to work. like, was there even the slightest question about what was going to happen when they ended the episode with “if one tower goes down then they all do”

the point is, it shouldn’t be so difficult to hint at what the villain is up to that you have to shove it into a side series. just stop having your villain be vague as fuck about everything for the sake of cultivating mystique

Then spend an entire season having the villain detail every single step of their plan with the complexities and all the twists and see if there are still people around. Also, that doesn’t explain why the CCT is so important so you still have to do that so fork over more money or time.

four maidens: this is more of a standalone short than supplemental infodumping, so i dunno if it should count. not that it would matter anyway because the maidens subplot already comes out of fucking nowhere

So9 impliment it into the story which already has fast pace for no reason, kill the pacing and the mood as well as remove the story book element about them. Also, personally work on the series to make up for the week of time they lost because there is nothing there to fill the gap, fork over the money to cover up the removal or personally take responsibility for it.

vale: mostly boring geographical waffle that is unlikely to ever be important. no elegant way to work it into the show, but on the other hand, you don’t need to

Thus the world feels flatter and emptier with no explanation for what happened when teh series gave the tone of doing so, thus losing audience interest and something that made the series unique.

the other kingdoms: we know everyone’s headed to mistral. presumably they’ll be spending some time there. show us the culture when they arrive. are we ever gonna visit the other two? if so, do the same for them. if not, it doesn’t matter much

Wow, you must have some deep pockets or as much free time as possible to be willing to foot the bill for all of this new footage and audio and voice lines and brainstorming and editing that this would all entail. Surely you wouldn’t ask a studio to bankrupt themselves just to do stuff you’d never ask of any other show right?

between kingdoms: it’s in the show! grimm running wild outside the kingdoms is in the show! bandit attacks are in the show! grimm moving in afterwards is in the show! it’s all there already!

Except the specifics of the grimm attacks, why people move outside pof the kingdoms, why there are bandits, how they get supplies and their interactions with the Grimm.

faunus: you know when oobleck is talking about the faunus war? you know when he stops for a minute to ask if any faunus have been discriminated against, and velvet raises her hand, and he’s like “oh, that sucks. anyway, back to what i was talking about”? you know how that part was a total waste of time? cut it. talk some more about the origin of the human-faunus conflict before everyone starts going on about night vision. you could even work some development for blake in there. oobleck asks if anyone knows how and when faunus exploitation began, and blake gives a long, bitter, opinionated answer

Ah yes, because one minute of dialogue to segway into a plotline can be cut out and around ten minutes of exposition about fanaus history, biology and interactions with the humans can be shoved into that space. Except no, it can’t be so that’s more money and/or time you must be willing to give up to add in what no one asked for. As well as teh all teh angry fans who will yell at you for thinking they were stupid enough to think the characters didn’t know that as well as making all the characters into people with the memory of a fruit fly.

schnee dust company: i feel like this could have been a character moment for weiss. she probably never met nicholas. the only sdc she’s lived with is the one run by jacques. finding out that it was once an honest business run by a good, brave man could be a big turning point for her. “i want to be out there overseeing expeditions like granddad did. i want to change this company back to what it was.” and bam. now being a hunter isn’t just about annoying daddy anymore

Except that why she would even fight against her father in the first place, why she would consider the schhnee name noble at all or how she would miss all this, make the plot hole with her mother even fucking bigger than before, makes Weiss look like an idiot for not looking into her family’s past and, again, kills her motivation so we have a walking contradiction in the show as a main character.

And that’s not even getting into how there are some people who PREFER WOR over ordinary exposition.and thus changing that pisses them off as well as kills the pacing of RWBY. Thus changing something for an, at bets, equal result as before.

Yeah great job on the suggestion.

#rwde bullshit #delvindeep

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insanescriptist · 7 years

Note

If Xanxus were to be trapped in the Capital of the Empire from Akame ga Kill without his guardians and you had to choose six characters from six different anime series to be his guardians, who would you choose and what would their cover job while stuck in the capital? We all know Xanxus would probably be a high quality gunsmith/craftsman when not being the Boss of his new guardians.

First off, I will admit that it took me a while to respond to this because I didn’t know the series so I had no idea what the Imperial Capital of Akame ga Kill was like. So then I read through it a few times to really get a feel for what the Capital was like. So lots of wow, dark and gruesome. Also unviable in the long-run in terms of the Imperial Captial’s consumption of human lives/resources but it wasn’t like Honest cared about that. Country bumpkins and all that.

All it did was give me a more massive lady-crush on Esdesu/Esdeath. Because wow. Like throughout it I was like, she’s a goddess of sadism and I will happily worship her as such. I will now measure any ice-user against Esdeath and find them falling short when she’s been described as “a natural disaster with a wicked conscious,” to paraphrase.

Second, it took me time to consider who. I don’t watch a lot of anime, but that’s because that takes so much more time than reading the manga. More to the point, I wanted people that could get along with Xanxus and not end up killed or attracting too much attention from the capital’s guards.

I mean it’s rather counter-productive if Xanxus kills them or they kill Xanxus?

Storms are supposed to attack fast, keep attacking and not let up. For the famiglia or something; that’s the role of the Storm Guardian. Therefore finding someone of Storm temperament that’s not a complete reckless idiot is an issue.

I wanted to use Ichigo but then I realized that he’s too moral to last long in the Empire. Then I thought about using Renji and I was like, ‘too naive about human culture, will get killed.’

So then my brain goes destruction, disintegration. Scar from Full Metal Alchemist. I’d think he’d make a decent carpenter, when he’s not investigating some rumor. I fully expect him to gain a wanted poster at some point.

Of course with Scar means that I can’t use Oliver Armstrong as one of the six but she wouldn’t have made a good fit either.

Suns are supposed to protect their famiglia through the use of their bodies. Which sounds vaguely meat-shield-ish until you realize it’s more about crushing enemies than tanking. Vongola Suns are supposed to be scary badasses, alright?

I decided on Yuusuke Urameshi. He’s distinct, kinda flashy, a little crude and not a complete idiot. Also has moral limits but mostly in regards to his friends and allies. The ‘not a complete idiot’ thing disqualified a lot of them.

As Yusuke’s skills extend to either cooking or fighting and he has issues with authority, he’s probably cooking something to earn money.

In theory he could teach martial arts or something but I don’t think he has the discipline to do so. Plus it seems like all training centers/temples are under the Empire’s control so would be bad bad idea.

Lightnings are supposed to draw attention and conflict to them. And then survive it. It’s a meat-shield/tank position, alright? Also bait, but well, they clearly get the worst gimmick here.

Levi Ackerman. He’s probably a very Cloudy Lightning, but he’s terrible with authority he doesn’t respect. I believe that Xanxus and Levi could learn to respect each other, if they didn’t kill each other first.

That cleaning obsession is a bit useful though. He probably ends up scouting for the Rebel Army and killing various Imperials because he does value human lives. This Levi is a lot more competent than Xanxus’ previous Levi; that’s better, this one is fun.

Honestly if Xanxus makes weapons, Levi is going to likely work in the store. Just shopkeep Levi… the idea is hilarious and will likely end up with dead bodies on the floor at one point.

Rains are supposed to wash away conflict and square up accounts aka grudges. Another killing role there, alright?

My first thought here was Gray Fullbuster. And then I realized that that wouldn’t work either. Too reckless. Also his ice is rather pathetic compared to Esdeath.

Somehow my mind went to Karasuba from Seikeirei from there. Not sure why. Probably because she and Esdeath are vaguely similar.

Honestly Akame is very much a Rain. However I went with Robin from One Piece. Morbid humor, assassin experience and the ability to deal with people without wanting to dismember them.

Sales-lady.

Izzy could have gone with Uzuki Yuugao from Naruto but she wouldn’t mesh very well with the others, so Robin.

Mists are another defensive/protective role, dealing more with misinformation and deception. It’s an important role, involves a lot of trust but also puts them as support types for the most part.

Fast-paced trickery is difficult and takes a lot of intelligence to pull off effectively. Also illusionist/mages… Most mages end up being weak glass canons or godly strong and just blast stuff. I wanted a rather more balanced one and ended up with someone that might be overpowered.

Ban Mido from Get Backers. Between being extremely proficient in casting illusions on other people with his eyes alone, he’s also very tough and strong. How much of that is magic quasi-physics and how much is real is debatable but his grip strength is known to crush steel. More to the point his illusions are strong enough that the victim thinking they’ve died from a fire in an illusion will burn. More to the point they can affect the physical world as well.

Ban’s stupidly talented like that. I’m jealous.

Clouds are wanderer who are supposed to watch from afar and help out on occasion. Generally by killing those causing problems.

Kazuma Yagami from Kaze no Stigma. He does his own thing, on his own terms and wants people with the talent and ability to get stronger by honing their existing talents or cultivating new ones. Even to his own family. Not that he’ll say as much and he had to be bribed to do so.

He’s shrewd and hard to take off guard so would not get killed by people in the capital taking advantage. Still would hate the idea of teaming up but would probably end up borrowing their proverbial couch on occasion.

Other things: Most of these characters are rather bitter and professionals. Which isn’t by chance as I wanted them to be able to survive the Capital and Xanxus. More to the point, most of them are more morally grey, although there are limits to it.

Further more, do you really think that Xanxus wouldn’t examine the teigu and try to re-create some of them?

Xan-xan the golden goose of quasi-teigu. Izzy needs sleep but she’s prowled through numerous wikis for a refresher course on some of these people.

#Izzy answers #shroudthecursedone

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brokenmusicboxwolfe · 7 years

Text

I saw:

Return of the Jedi- Not “Revenge” like the patch I got sent as a kid in my fan club renewal.

SPOILERS....because I don’t give a damn!

Han gets rescued from Jabba with the help of the whole gang. Oddly when Luke gets captured he isn’t forced to wear a metal speedo and chains to be Jabba’s new dancing boy. Apparently only girls get lusted over and subjected to bondage by baddies, even if the baddies in question are a completely different and sexually incompatable species. Go figure.

Then Luke pops in to see Yoda who claims he’s fully trained, though back in the day they would force little kids to leave their mamas in slavery while enduring many, many years of training. Maybe Yoda dies so he doesn’t have to deal with our wannabe jedi and the fall out from all the lies Luke’s been told. Sorry Ben, “A certain point of view” excuse doesn’t really apply here. You lied about Luke’s daddy and weren’t going to tell him who his sister was until he realized through the force. Or maybe it wasn’t the force but a wild guess based on saving face because the only girl he knows picked the cool guy in the hot rod over his whiny ass. Only know he has gone all Jedi, meaning he’s trying to act all cooler than though, emotionally detached and wearing back. His little act of “I’m a jedi now” is either adorably adolescent or creepy.

Anyway, the Empire has built themselves a new Death Star that is already nearly functional. Death Stars are just their thing now, though how you quickly bash together a new weapon the size of a moon with no one noticing the purchasing of material, transport of equipment, transfer of personal and the like I dunno. Maybe they were already starting a spare with the first one got broken. The team sent to a forest planet like moon to deactivate the equipment keeping the second Death Star from getting’s own race to go boom naturally is made up of Han, Leia, Luke, Chewie, C-3PO, R2D2 and some nameless extras.

On the moon things go a bit unexpectedly for them. Leia gets seperated and ends up with the teddy bear people. The fur balls must have mad sewing skills because by the time the boys get caught by the Ewoks she is wearing a dress fashioned to fit her perfectly, despite the fact that she is a couple feet taller than them and they only wear hoods and little capelets. Of course it could be left over the last time they sacrificed some humanoid captives, like nearly happened to the boys until Threepio got over his aversion to claiming to be a god and Luke used the force to scare the little savages. Savages, right, the cliched primitives to help save the day thanks to the crappy lowest bidder gear the stormtroopers are kitted out with.

Luke does take a moment to finally tell Leia that Vader is his father and she is his sister. The fact that this means Vader is HER father too, this guy that having killed the crew of the ship she traveled in subjected her personally to torture, then held her back while she watched her home world with most likely murdering the entire family she grew up with and possibly everyone she ever loved. You know, the guy that froze her boyfriend and tossed him to a bounty hunter. That guy. She should have some serious issues about this revelation!

Look, Luke doesn’t have the same reason to know the evil of Vader personally. Vader did hack off Luke’s hand, but it was quicky in a fight and he got a nice cybernetic replacement. Luke doesn’t know his aunt and uncle were killed by Vader’s orders, but then he hardly mourned them. He seemed far more upset when Vader killed Ben, despite the fact that he barely knew Ben and Ben basically commited suicide deliberately letting kill him. Considering Ben has continued to pop in to have chats with him, I doubt he has too much of a rage at the dark one over it.

Does remind me though: We get proof the Leia is a really nice person because she comforts HIM on the Falcon when she’s the one that just watched the genocide of her people and might still be feeling the after effects of torture! I mean, geez Luke, why is all about YOU?

So yeah, it’s Luke that goes off on a crazy quest to save his daddy, claiming there is good in him. Considering I saw the lousy prequels I take issue with that! He might have had potential as a child, but by adulthood there wasn’t a damn thing likeable about the jerk! Now, of the two Skywalker kids he is the one that would be able to forgive Vader, what with being to ignorant and idealistic to face reality. On the other hand, he has always been emotionally impulsive and proves an idiot because he lets the Emperor goad him into teetering on edge if giving into his dark side. I mean, the Emperor pretty much tells him “I’m trying to make you angry so you act stupidly and join our evil club. Because we are evil, in case you didn’t notice. Aw, come on, you know you wanna!” I really think Senator and Princess Leia, leader in the resistance before it even went public, might have been a lot less of a risk at giving into her dark side, even with her reason to hate Vader. Because she isn’t an idiot like Junior Jedi boy.

It all works out like you expect. Teddy bears smash imperial gear, so Lando, Wedge and company can turn Death Star II into a fireworks desplay that must have rained down debris on our little forested moon. Luke gets his daddy to finally have one moment of change of heart as his boy is tortured. So all is forgiven, all those horrible, cruel and impulsive deaths he inflicted don’t matter. Luke burns the armour, because armour is known for being so flammable, and Vader gets to be a ghost with a couple decades worth of face lift unlike the other force spirits hanging around who look about like they did when they died. Love triangle cured on account of suprise siblings, Leia and Han get to be a happy couple (well until the Force Awakens tells us it didn’t work our and they spawned an evil, temper tantrum throwing brat) There is rejoicing all around, including, in the SE version we are stuck with, the captial of the bloody Empire! Because we know they celebrated with fireworks in Berlin and Japan at the end if WWII. “Yippie! We Lost!!” Whatever. It was all over, the good guys won and the trilogy mostly satisfactorily finished.

You know, back in the 90s a magazine called SciFi Universe had a cover story saying something like “50 Reasons we Hate Return of the Jedi...but love Star Wars” (I may not remember that right, it has been a LONG time!) It surprised me when I read it. I existed totally removed from fandoms and was oblivious to popular feelings. I had always considered this movie the weak link of the three, by a wide margin, but “hate”? Nah, I don’t hate it. In fact, I am kind of fond of the reviled Ewoks. But yeah, I I do sort of shrug and fail to feel the slightest bit guilty mocking it. Still, even though I don’t rewatch it near as often as I do the two that precieded it, I do once in a while. That’s better than a certain other Star Wars triology! LOL

#movies #return of the jedi #star wars

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