☆Introduction☆

{Personal}

I'm Cry! Or Tomoa, Moa, Crioh, or whatever other nickname you can conjure up for me lmao

Some of the things I'm interested in is Voltron: Legendary Defender, Diary of a Wimpy Kid (specifically the Dysfunctional Perspective on TikTok), DC (mostly batfamily stuff, but I like the rest of it too), and Criminal Minds. I'll update this when I remember because these are just off the top of my head.

I play video games often, mostly Overwatch 2, Fortnite, Monster Prom, Roblox, and occasionally Minecraft. I play more, but there's too many to list! (Junkrat/Mercy main here LMAO!)

My favorite color is orange, I'm not sure what shade, though. Purple is definitely a close second, tied with yellow. My favorite TV show is Criminal Minds!! Season 7 Episode 19, Heathridge Manor is my favorite episode (mainly because my favorite actor, Kyle Gallner, is the unsub)

{Writing}

I first started writing (like, creative writing in my free time for fun) when I was around the 4th grade. Or about 9 years old. My first ever story, from what I can remember, was this one piece of fanfiction that I refuse to name. (Seriously, you couldn't pry it from my cold, dead hands.) From then, my writing kinda just followed me I guess? It was never something that I really like, shared with other people. I've mostly written just fanfiction, but I also have some original works that I love to think about. I think my longest character has been with me since 2020? Maybe 2021. I'll introduce yall to him later!!

I'll try to reblog posts that have amazing writing advice that I agree with btw,

{Tomoa}

The story that this blog is about (it still has no name, that's why I'm calling it Tomoa for now LMAO) has been floating around my head since around Janurary/February of 2022. So it's been with me for a little while now. It's definitely change a LOT since then. Like my main character used to be named Lukas, and now his name is Aaron lmao. He also used to be Russian for some reason?

The story was also supposed to be a lot more angsty and sad, but now it's supposed to be more fun and romantic (I developed a boyfriend for Aaron, and it's so adorable)

At the time of writing this, I have 11 characters and a cat. I'm gonna make an introduction post for each of them as time goes on, but for now I'm gonna stick with just my own intro+tomoa intro.

Here's me trying to explain my storyline (poorly done lmfao)

Aaron gets kicked out by his dad (mom not in picture), and gets recruited by villains. He goes on to be a villain but is laying low. So, in his mid twenties (where the 1st book takes place), he's like an average villain. Nothing sticks out, just a (somewhat) regular villain. Little does he know, his arch-nemesis just so happens to be his high school friends-with-benefits who he may or may not still be talking to. (He definitely is. And it's not talking, it's "talking.")

{Extra - aka ramble time}

Some of my goals for my story is to try to allow for a little bit of each kind of representation. Does that make sense? I hope so. But like, for example, I have 2 aroace characters in my universe so far (I PROMISE ITS JUST BECAUSE IM TALKING ABOUT THE MAIN GROUP), and I'm trying to make most of my characters from different origins too. My main character is Mexican/German/American, so I've still gotta do a bunch of research for him. I want for people to feel seen and represented when they finish reading my book, but the main purpose (and the original one) is to entertain. So not only do I want them to feel seen and represented, but I also want them to be like "Hey, that was a damn good book." (And then write fanficiton and make fanart and make AUs and social media accounts about my story <33)

Also!! Yall can ask me anything!! I love answering questions!! You can also try to suggest something for me to write, I'll make another post about what I will/will not write

4/5/2024 - Fangst animation rework!

Hi again y'all, Hauk here! If you've been peeking at our discord channel lately, you might have noticed I've been posting a lot of animation WIP's. Thats because I'm in the process of reworking some of the oldest sprites in the project- walking and jumping!

It can take me up to a year to nail how I draw and animate a character. For our protagonist the thing that has taken the most time is definitely line stylization, proportions and leg silhouette. He's gotten bigger and bigger during development, not to mention spikier! Honestly its not that smart to design a tall character for a platformer, and there's a reason most platforming type characters have a very square hitbox. Its just easier to design challenges that way!

But i'm not changing gears now!! I wanted Fangst to have a tall handsome man as a player character, and i'm gonna stick to it!!

Here's a peek at the new walk animation. The arm holding his fishing rod is a static, separate sprite that is basically glued to the player with code for gameplay reasons.

We needed a smart way to change and add bounce to the rod without having a million variants of every sprite. Here are two iterations on how a static arm could be anchored to the player. I want him to carry himself with a confident sway, as though the whole world is his catwalk- so perhaps the full bounce of the second one is too much!

Speaking of bounce, the double jump animation! Right now he has the very placeholder double jump solution of turning into a small rotating orb sonic style, and its been a frustrating disconnect seeing as the hitbox ordinarily is quite big.

My goal for this animation is that i want him to do a sexy, elegant backflip. I started with a version with an upside down split, but after some iterations we agreed that the simpler one would be more readable and use-friendly. But an upside down split is kinda iconic... maybe we can use it elsewhere?

A platformer player will spend most of their time jumping around, so nailing a satisfying, easily readable jump is important in both animation and feel. Characterization is also important here- i want it to be obvious that our player character is athletic and elegant, and that these acrobatics cost him little effort.

However, i'm expecting a bit of a pickle implementation-wise. See, him turning into a sonic-style orb made the walljumps feel practically seamless. Will a fully animated backflip be equally friendly? The sprite will be a lot bigger. Truth is, a character turning into a ball is just really easy to design around.

Here's the current in-game sprites, featuring his old jumps, idle pose and miiildly disconnected placeholder arm with a smaller fishing rod. As you might have noticed, he's also a bit softer looking, and his boots are way smaller!

I think the newer sprites will make him have a more stylish, cool and recognizeable silhouette. It will be worth it to update these old things- after all, inbetween all this technical game design stuff, its just also really important to me that the player feels like a cool and professional monster hunting fisherman!

Thanks for keeping up with our project, we're doing our best to make Fangst a proper quality "You: A Hot Man, Kill Monster!" experience!!

-Hauk

Fic data from 2023

Happy new year! This was a big year for me because I got back into reading fanfiction, and boy howdy did I read a lot of it. Over the year I tracked what fics I read got that sweet, sweet data about how much of what I read and when. So now it's time for it to all come together! I put the major stats above the read more line, and below are some other little details about the tags and types of fics. Without further ado, let's get into it!

My goal this year was to read 1000 fics which I realized around June was NOT going to happen. I actually read about 651 fics including re-reads. Not too shabby!

The total words of all the fics I started was 5,196,016 and multiplying by the percent finished (could be >100 for re-reads, or <100 for dnf) I read about 6,214,399 words. So, HOLY BALLS 6.2 MILLION WORDS???? JFC. THATS LIKE 16K EVERY SINGLE DAY. ok i will never again tell myself i didn't read enough this year. Can you imagine if I had hit 1000 fics?

Something else fun about the word count is that the average length was about 1584 words/fic.

My top months by number of fics were February (108 fics), April (88 fics), and March (66 fics). In terms of word count, my top months were February (1.4 million words), January (1.16 million words) and August (804k words).

Keep reading for graphs and data about tags!

Before we get into tags, here's the graphs for the stuff I mentioned earlier. Keep in mind that the first two are about fics I started, not necessarily finished, so the count may vary a bit.

The top three longest fics I read were meet me where the light greets the dark at 115514 words, Subito Sempre at 107053 words, and This Game We Play at 101717 words. Those also happen to be some of my favorite fics of all time.

Here's a graph about the length of the fic I read. "Format of a oneshot" is something that may be multiple chapters but was short enough that it could've been one. Idk this database was built on vibes.

I know 54% of the authors! Speaking of, there were 208 distinct authors I read from this year. My top author was JynxedOracle at 33 fics!

These are the fics I re-read most:

OK tag time! Let's start with relationship:

VegasPete almost had it for a while but KimChay will always be my ride or die. Also, if you can't tell, I basically read almost exclusively KinnPorsche The Series fics. For my top fandom outside of KPTS, that would be MCU, and my top non-KP relationship was SpideyPool. My highest rarepair within KPTS will go to my grave or the groupchat. :*)

My highest read additional tag by a WIDE margin (I'm sorry mother) was porn without plot. (Guess that explains why the average words is so low).

I was gonna post the graphs of all my tags but not only are they a mess, I simply refuse to out myself like that this publicly.

On to Warnings and Rating:

...Don't be ashamed of me, I'm ashamed enough of myself.

Final thing! I met my goodreads goal of 100 books by adding a random book every time I read up to 80k words! My goal for 2024 is to find god and maybe read something other than porn :)

Thanks for reading!

What are you grateful for in 2023?

What achievement are you proudest of?

What are your goals for 2024?

(Personal, fandom related, or otherwise)

Happy New Year ✨

@curiousnonny

all my friends and my partner<333 i feel like ive had the opportunity to really grow my relationships and i love them all more than anything and im so glad to bring them with me into 2024

this year, i made a point to be more intentional with my music -- i recorded songs, pushed some through production, and wrote more than i ever have. im really proud of myself for that because it took a lot out of me mentally and was pretty terrifying, though easy in the actual effort it took. also, it helped me figure out my style more and ive given myself permission to get silly with it and do whatever i want, which was holding me back a lot. i think last year i wrote 63 or 73 songs total, and i havent counted this year but its way more than that!! im gonna count soon and probably make a post (edit: 159! i wrote one hundred and fifty nine songs since january 5th. that is insane im going to go lie down)

related to above ^^ im hoping to record more and learn more about audio production -- maybe even actually put out some music on streaming! before that, though, im going to link my music on this blog somewhere, i think thats the first step. either way, im really excited!! this has been nothing more than a flimsy dream from when i was a kid but its insane to me that i get the chance to slowly make it real!

happy new year!!!!!! i wish all the best for you and yours<33

bahrain grand prix ✩ 02.03.2024

here we are. the 2024 season is officially starting‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥 and so is my first ever full f1 season 🥺🥺🥺💘💘💘 i mean tbf i did follow f1 already at the first 2 races in 23 but still!!! i didn't watch them!!! and now i will!!! oh my god!!!

so, my goal for this year is to be less stressed, bc honestly, it was really getting to me 💔💔💔 and i don't want to rely on a dutch guy winning in a sport for all of my happiness... i would like to enjoy the sport more, even if max doesn't win (which... will happen eventually. i am writing this before the race idek if he wins this one!! he might not!!) ‼️‼️‼️🥰🥰🥰 so: enjoy the SPORT more, which is important i think 💘💘💘✨✨🌷🌷🌷 we will see how it goes!! but this was a very important life lesson for me: i will still love max, even if he loses. him losing doesn't make me love him any less 🥺🥺🥺🥺

free practice. as usual i didn't WATCH, but i did keep up with it of course. its always scary when max doesnt do well, but its just practice and its fun seeing who does well surprisingly!! the merc all of the sudden look super strong, which was a real surprise‼️‼️‼️‼️ also daniel p1 in fp1 yeah okay sure 😭😭😭 who gaf. but it did make me realise the above, so thats good!!

qualifying. oh my god qualifying the season is REALLY starting again oh my god 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i was watching at my grandparents again!!! friday quali is crazy!!! i cannot lie. my ass was sure max wasnt gonna get pole 💀💀💀💀 so it was a real surprise that he did!!! to be fair even he sounded surprised AHAHA 😭😭😭😭😭😁😁😁 "ha ha sorry gp!!" 😭😭😭😭 the silly!!! f1 is so back!!! charles q2 lap was really good too, thank you oscar for the tow bc 💀💀💀💀 they were also soooo silly after the quali!!! lestappen yapping how i have missed u!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

RACE DAAAYYYY!!!‼️‼️‼️🙏🙏🙏 first one of the season, oh my god. i literally woke up with my body feeling like it was being chased down by a fucking lion like. it was so serious 😭😭😭💥💥💥💥☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️ BUT!! the sun was shining for like. the first time ever in the netherlands, and life was good, and my dad convinced me to play some f1 23 with him beforehand which was a lot of fun :-) ALSO!!! f1 fantasy is soooo fun omg 🥰🥰🥰✨😁😁😁💘💘💘🥰🥰🥰 this will be relevant in a second. so. its 3:45 pm. i feel like im literally dying. my dads sitting next to me. FUCKING ALAIN PROST JUMPSCARE 💥💥💥‼️‼️‼️‼️ but ok. formation lap. i literally cant speak im that fucking scared. my mouth is dry. i see the lights. i literally cant move. 🙅🙅🙅🙅🙅🙅 ok. light 1. light 2. light 3. light 4. light 5. i feel like im dying. MAX HAS A GOOD START OH MY FUCKING GOD 🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🙏🙏🙏🙏 my dad mad as fuck bc he has nico in his fantasy team 💀💀💀 he puts a hand on my shoulder and is like "are u shaking" and i look at him like. yea. i always am during the first few laps 😭😭😭😭 anyway lewis making no impression + charles disasterclass like yea it was bad for us. checo actually kinda got that dawg in him rn 👀👀👀 and so does carlos!!! ik im a lestappie but i can also be a carlos enjoyer. fun fact. i am. I LOVE VERSAINZ 💕💕💕💌💌💌 ok tangent. YEAH THE RACE WAS COOL I TURNED TO MY DAD AND SAID "i hope hes going for the grand slam 😁😁😁😁😁" ooohhh maaaaxxxx maxy maaax max max max max 🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰‼️‼️‼️‼️ i love him so much im fully losing my mind. HE LOOKED SOOO FUCKING GOOD ON THE PODIUM TOO IM BITING HIM RN. KITCHEN. BAREFOOT. PREGNANT. NOW‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ yeah no i rlly did enjoy this race SO much im so so glad f1 is back 🥺🥺🥺🥺 a shame about fernando being a lil flop in that flop car BUT this was the first opening race without any dnfs!!! how fucking cool is that!!! i think its cool!!! 💕💕💕😁😁😁✨✨✨ SEE YALL NEXT WEEK AT JEDDAHHHH 🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

✩ song of the race: the weekend - michael gray

I CANNOT WAAAIT FOR THE WEEKEND TO BEGIN DURING RACE WEEK LIKE IM LISTENING TO THIS SHIT ON LOOOPPP💥✨✨💕💕😁😁

✩ photodump:

diary entries...

TW: substances, ed, TMI situations

1/7/2024

6pm

im so tired. i havent been this tired since i quit doing dope 7 months ago. i still miss her almost everyday. my one true love. she was with me through everything the last 12 years. our relationship was toxic as hell but she will always be the one who got away. even if (when) i relapse and run back to her it will always end. it might end in death or just another rehab but it will always end. thats the thing with her, no matter how many times i run back i always have to leave, even if its for a little bit. theres no way around it. i start doing good in life and i run back to her warm and beautiful arms. the beginning is always the best, the honeymoon phase, but it doesnt last longer than 6 months. she always asks for more and more. more time, more money, more attention, more destruction. we lay in bed all day and all night as she whispers sweetly in my ear 'you dont need any of this..not this job, not this money, not your friends, not your family, not the outside world..you only need me..' and i always agree because its true, i only need her to be ok with being alive. no matter how many times we go through the same notions, i always listen to her..how can i not? when im with her nothing else matters, nothing means a thing. she makes me feel so safe, so warm, so invincible, so beautiful, so amazing.. its only her, always and forever.. until she takes everything away from me, as she always does, and drags me to rock bottom where the only choice i have left, is to leave her again..

9pm

idk whats wrong with me the last few days. im so tired and feeling like crap. it cant be not enough sleep because im sleeping. it cant be not enough food because im eating. im tired, my stomach hurts, im cold until I get in bed and under the covers and then im hot. my head hurts. my body aches, although that could be just me trying to work out too much. it feels like im constipated but im still going a little everyday. consistency of soft serve ice cream, which is super foreign to me. ive been constipated for the last 12 years, going once a week, if i was lucky, and when i did go it was like pushing out baseballs made out of rocks. this whole thing is just strange and exhausting. i just feel like I have the flu. i took dulcolax, my savior, an hour and a half ago and im hoping it clears out everything i ate the last 4 days and not just little swirls of crap that take 10mins of wiping to clean up. gross, i know. i just want to sleep but i don't want to wake up at midnight and be wide awake til i get back from the clinic at 6:30am. maybe ill be able to sleep for the next 6 hours and then just work out some until its time to head to the clinic at 5:30. i took an hour nap earlier around 5pm and had a weird dream.. it had to do with 2 guys breaking in and trying to shoot us unsuccessfully and ended up with me stabbing one and the other getting shot. hopefully its not some premission.. im gonna try to nap.

1/8/2024

12:05am

i decided to let myself get an oreo mcflurry every sunday since ive been doing so well with my diet and exercise. i figured that since i burn more than the 510cal thats in the dam thing every day anyway, i can be a fat fucking pig and have one. theyre just so dam good 😩 cutting out all sugar has been a nightmare over the last month. ive spent the whole time i was an h addict living on sugar so its been rough. it will be totally worth it though. i should reach my current goal weight of 100lbs in the next 10 months or less as long as i keep doing what ive been doing. i cant wait to be thin and beautiful. i dont need drugs as long as im thin 🖤

1/9/2024

1am

i ate that slice of cheese pizza i said i wouldnt touch..378cals. 378!! im such a fat pig. disgusting. it doesnt matter that i burned twice as much in calories today. the only thing that matters is that i didn't have enough self control to not eat that dam slice of pizza. i hate that my husband eats the foods i cant have every freaking day. i know me needing to lose weight is not his problem but it still sucks to be put in these situations everyday. if its not pizza its cookies and sweets and danishes and everything else I cant eat. fuck this sucks so bad! starting tomorrow i need to burn more than 700-900cals each day. i need to walk more than 10-13k steps. i need to eat less than 1400cal each day. idc if im technically still losing weight. its not enough. i need to do better and damnit i will do better.

11pm

i ate less but didnt get to work out as much as i wanted to. i guess tomorrow will be better. it better be at least. i need to get to sleep before 3am tonight so i dont sleep til 5pm tomorrow.. i have to be up at 530am to go to the clinic 5 times a week and by 11am im so exhausted i need a freaking nap or im falling over on my feet. i think they need to lower the dose on my medicine. this is getting super annoying. i just wanna be thin already. fml.

1/11/2024

12:36am

today was good. i walked over 13k steps, worked out for an hour, burned about 1000cals and only ate about 800cals. definitely getting a hang of this. didnt have a headache either. got a decent amount of sleep too. im definitely gonna ask my clinic to lower the dose on my medication because im sure thats why im tired all the time. im super sore from the gym the other day but tomorrow i have to go either way. hopefully it wont be too crowded because i get really bad anxiety and paranoia around strangers. i hate going outside. goodnight my lovelies, i hope youre all staying on track and getting closer to your ugw 🖤🚬🦋

1/13/2024

5:16am

i had a good day yesterday but not a great night. i burned around 1200cals and had a 90min work out plus 15k steps. less food as well. ordered some stuff off amazon ive been wanting since beginning of december so i was super happy until my husband decided to drink and be..not great. he hasnt been drinking since we moved states 7 months ago except 1 or 2 previous occasions because he gets wasted and acts a fool. he was doing good until he wasnt. it just wasnt a good experience but hes finally asleep. im exhausted from not getting more than 3 hours of sleep the previous night and having to deep clean the whole house and do my workout and now being up all night. i want to go to sleep but i have a few things to worry about due to his drinking so its not looking so good right now.. i fed the stray cats i take care of just now and im gonna lay down and listen to some creepypastas and hope for sleep to come. hope everyone is doing well 🖤🚬🦋

Quitting my job (I don't even have one) to become an artist

Whats the plan?

Well, UGC content is my main focus and probably will be my main income; Youtube mostly, I already have a little over 100 subscribers, so my plan is to get monetised by mid 2024 (so June). Youtube is preobably gonna be gonna be my main most profitable thing. So I am going to put my main focus into understanding the youtube algorithm. I am taking a break from youtube for now but once I get my phone back (My parents have it) I will probably focus on tiktok right now, I know they have a pretty sexy monetisation program so I'm gonna hook myself up to that.

STAGE ONE - this is the only one im writing about at the moment. Uhh I will probably write about the other stages later.

This is very much a stage where I just need to be patient. Look I am here right now in this stage. The main parts of this stage.

Networking

Client hunting :)

+ Client connections

Establishing a consistent posting schedule and small audience (800 on everything would be mwah just great)

So much planning :( (almost too much I don't like to plan)

Okokok thats so complex how do we break this down.

NETWORKING -------------------------------------------

I actually just made a discord server so thats pretty cool. I am actually reminded by writing this section that I need to make free samples with my info to give to people so that I can kind of get my name out there. I'm going to design a bunch of business cards and freebies and stuff when I get back to school, so that I can give them out and leave them in places. I could totally be very annoying and make an email list for clients, that would be cool.

CLIENT HUNTING ----------------------------------------

Uhh. Listen. I have no idea how to do this. I am a teenager with no marketing experience. how the hell. I would actually love if someone could help me with this.

CLIENT CONNECTIONS----------------------------------------

same as above

POSTING SCHEDULE+ADUIENCE GROWTH --------------------------

Getting to 800 on Tumblr is gonna be a walk in the park. Doing walk throughs of my process and stuff seems to work well. I already have three (I would like to give those three people a smooch on the forehead mwah) followers right now. Im gonna have weekly goals monthly goals daily goals etc. That will help with motivation. ALSO I have milestone specials {look forward to those}. For example I am posting daily tutorials until 40 (im not doing that but imagine).

Anyway, thats probably the easiest one. I'm focused on this one becuase my parents won't let me on my phone, so I have no access to any other social media.

Youtube ???-----

I can't even with youtube. I am beefing with the YouTube algorithm right now.

Anyway,

Next post will be more in-depth networking planning probably :)