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sphireath-wisp · 1 year

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#My Kind of Lover

Sypnosis: I have no idea what this is about, I'm just rambling (Inspired by "My kind of woman")

Warnings: Not proofread (again), might not be in character for Kaiser because I didn't read the manga,

Featuring: Itoshi Sae, Itoshi Rin, Micheal Kaiser x GN! reader

Itoshi Sae

If there was something else other than soccer that could ever reach his heart, it would be any sort of breathtaking scenery.

The smell of salt, the hues of the setting sun, and ocean waves overlapping. He would find himself staring at the sea for longer than he actually wanted to. The stretch of white a white sandy beach with the soft occasional cries of seagulls, washing down that lump in his throat with some excessively fruity drink his assistant left on the table, maybe he didn't mind forgetting soccer for just a small moment during these times.

If anything, these calm - supposedly serene moments made him feel at ease again.

But recently, Sae has found himself more captivated by you. It didn't matter what you were doing, he could and would stare at you for hours. Waking up next to you and seeing your face the first thing in the morning, makes him feel like the luckiest man in the world.

Oh, you don't like this? He'll remember that. You seem really fond of this flower? He'll buy extra to see that smile again.

If I'm being honest, you didn't really understand why he liked looking at you so much. At first, you would be worried if you had something on your face or if he was judging you - Sae doesn't have the nicest look in the world, okay?

Nevertheless, you got used to it, giggling when you could feel his eyes gazing at you. You would often stare back and see him blink, turning away immediately, insisting that he was not staring.

In public though, his... foul mouth would get the better of him if it wasn't you who caught him staring.

Itoshi Rin

"Stepping stones" was something Itoshi Rin would often call every match he went through, every rival, and every person that had some sort of irritating or impressive skill on the field. His teammates were the closest things he could call a friend, but if he considered them a friend was an entirely separate matter.

Of course, there would always be an exception - you. Though, you weren't really safe from his sharp tongue despite how much he softened up when it came to you.

You would once in a while get called "idiot" by Rin when you happened to hurt yourself accidentally or when you tried to do something stupid. Rin didn't really mean anything bad despite the insulting name-calling and you could tell.

It was his own personal way of telling you he was worried or concerned about you, his weird and confusing method of telling you he cared. Through the blunt and overly serious exterior he has, you melt all of that away and reached somewhere in his heart that made him crave you even more.

He hated being vulnerable around others, so you understood him down to the last detail. Sometimes, he's worried you took his words to heart, so he promises himself to melt in your arms once both of you are in private. You'll have his attention, just wait.

If he visibly notices you flinch or frown at his statement, guilt will eat him up from the inside. Despite not enjoying any display of affection, he'll quickly kiss you or holds your hand under the table in hopes of cheering you up.

Micheal Kaiser

This mischievous little shit is watching your response to everything as if it's an experiment. You were so... interesting - like a mix of chemicals that he was so curious to see the reaction of.

He was like an annoyingly enjoyable bee to be around, but you had grown to love his constant buzzing around you. He'll randomly spurt and ramble about how much he loved you just to see that blush adorning your cheeks.

Teasing was always a must to him when it came to you, that shit-eating grin on his face after he happened to snatch that last slice of pizza from you or win against you in a game made you fall deeper in love again.

Pranks? Games? Surprises? He was all in for it.

And wow - this guy loves to boast about you. It doesn't matter who it is, his teammates, his rivals, online, who cares? That mouth of his couldn't be glued shut because he just loved to go on and on about you.

I JUST KNOW this guy loves to show you off in public too. When the both of you first announced your relationship, you could predict from that notorious smile of his that he would do this right at the stadium, where his charisma shines the brightest.

You're like a trophy, his most precious one. The whole world would have their eyes on the both of you, basking you in their attention, but painfully aware that such a gem like you belong to him and only him.

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theoculus124 · 11 months

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Okay since you offered here are some questions I have...

1. What specific challenges do you face and how do you change things about your day to day life to deal with them?

2. How many times have you heard the 'its not that bad' or 'everyones a little ADHD' cause I wanna know how uneducated people are?

3. What help did you get/are you getting in a school/work environment?

I'm wanting to go into...like brain stuff, psychology, mental health and neuro divergency, so your offer of answering questions is really appreciated....

If answer to no. 3 is an unsatisfactory amount, then that will become something I will try my hardest to one day change, so people like yourself can have equal opportunities and a little limitations as possible. x

I struggle with ADHD paralysis, in short form it's when you get so overwhelmed you can't do anything so like for example I feel so overwhelmed in the morning by what I need to do throughout the day I stay in bed for a long period of time. Some people may think that's me being "lazy" or me just wanting to stay in bed like anyone else but the truth is is that I feel like I'm stuck to the bed because of how debilitating and stressful the rest of the day might be for me so I stay stuck. For now normally I don't really have alot of ways for dealing with it, so it just sort of happens and I get perceived as lazy and people will get upset with me and I just sort of take it? There's also RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria) which I also struggle with alot, it can be simple things like maybe my friend hasn't texted me for a while or maybe I'm trying to give someone a hug and they push me away cause they're busy or when I was younger I typically only had 1 friend that I would cling to and so when they got other friends I felt like they would hate me and want to cut me off. That manifested in A) alot of self hated B) toxic behaviours like cutting people off randomly because in my head if I do it first they won't be able to do it to me C) crying for hours on end D) avoidance tendencies especially if there's conflict. Again, it's a difficult one to deal with, I've learnt now that cutting people off is obviously a very hurtful thing to do and it can cause alot of pain unnecessarily and the best thing is to communicate to the other people. However I can't say that I still don't struggle with the fact that the little things/body language gets to me and I think really therapy will be my best bet (if I get one) -- that's a long para so I'll stop it there but I hope that helps x

ALL THE DAMN TIME! Even with autism (I have ASD and ADHD) and people will tell me "everyone's on the spectrum" and I think especially cause ADHD traits do overlap with anxiety and depression whenever I'd complain they would be like "it's just anxiety/depression" (obviously that's also downplaying the effects anxiety/depression has on people which is also a huge problem) so yh it's very annoying and such a prevalent message and I hate it so much because it downplays issues ND people face daily and almost seems like an excuse not to give someone help -- Also I can rant about the whole "high functioning" labels but that would take 3 blog posts those labels suck so much

currently for exams I get extra time, rest breaks, and I do my exams in a separate environment so I don't get stressed out by the huge crowd. However, for my day to day help isn't really prevalent and I think that's mainly cause of the fact that despite there being a department at my schl for people with disabilities the staff there aren't trained (not saying they're bad/not nice) so it's a bit extra awkward to try open up about ND struggles and there's limited help they can give us

There's obviously more and my experience is probably alot different to others but I'm so happy that you want to make a change in this field and I really appreciate you asking questions and being interested you're going to be awesome in your career <3

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sheetghostwriter · 2 years

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aagggh i wish there was somewhere I could find RP partners that's like... better than Cherp.

I've found a handful of great partners on here, but things always fizzle out eventually and the process of finding more is so painful. Like, I know we're in that web 3 super libertarian "NO ONE OWES YOU ANYTHING"/"HAVING FEELINGS IS CRINGE SO IT'S YOUR FAULT WHEN THEY GET HURT" internet culture, so I acknowledge that the fact that I'm passionate about this hobby and I care about the things I make is my problem and I shouldn't expect other people to care

i acknowledge that the fact that I want to have a good experience and be able to communicate with my partner and create cool and fun threads that we both enjoy writing and reading back on basically makes me a monster to most of the people in this community, who just want a machine that spits out instant replies that are perfectly tailored to their desires and expectations without ever having to communicate what those are

I acknowledge that fact and i absolutely resent it, I resent that the culture on this site has fostered essentially an antagonistic relationship between users. as i've said before, it's like online dating -- the objective has been shifted, whether people realize it or not, from actually RPing to the rush of getting matches and dumping them as quickly as you can.

but if there's anything better I haven't found it. i haven't found anywhere else where you can post/read RP ads, and where you can post/search for queer and trans OCs specifically, without getting harassed. I haven't found anywhere where you can experiment with weird horny stuff without it being connected to your centralized profile.

Elliquiy was my old mainstay but it does have a little bit of an old school community and doesn't usually align with what I'm looking for. The introduction/verification process means that you can't make like, burner accounts for different RPs, and anyone can look at your post history to see everything you've ever posted, including your RPs if you RP in-forum. Users can see when you're online, when you're looking at your thread/messages, which I know some people prefer but is a little too much for me.

Discord servers seem to almost universally push the OOC/IC line way past a point where I'm comfortable. They cater to cishet male RPers, and identifying yourself (because of course you have to identify yourself) as anything else means an inbox full of straight male "doms" who don't read your ads or bio and start trying to order you around as if that's just a thing people do

F-list's format doesn't work for me. I want to play OCs and I want to look at ads. "Looking for RP!" in a rapidly-scrolling live chat just ain't it for me.

it's just so frustrating because, it seems like there are so incredibly few people whose interests overlap with mine, that finally connecting with someone who's enthusiastic and excited about my characters and my ideas, having a great OOC back-and-forth, being so excited to start a thread, only to have them randomly d/c without warning makes me sad. And it happens so often! I just want to know what I'm doing wrong.

it just sucks having a hobby that requires the collaboration of another person, and the best place to find other people for that hobby is a platform where everyone hates each other.

#cherp

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cards-and-creatures · 2 years

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Life, a Roll of the Dice- Research

The conception of life, of creating matter that can think freely and evolve throughout its life and grow to become something more than the sum of its parts is a magical thing that we organisms can witness and experience in our life. Quite frighteningly, however, our lives, and those of those around us,are out of our hands, you might believe that you are in control and that your are the captain of your own personified existence, but everything that makes you, you, is not anything you can freely dictate, unless you are in a religious space where such words don’t stand to scrutiny.

You are made from two people, these two people were made from 4 people, those 4 people had their own makers, and to their makers their own, sprawling up a root so far reaching that some overlap with other roots without knowing, without ever finding out, makes you who you are. You are a wall decked in switches, with a chaotic ball randomly flipping them on and off constantly till it runs out of energy what dictates what you are. You are born into this world, with no bearing in which way you should go, with you waking up in the world unaware of where you are, and if you are unlucky, you might not even wake up, that is what makes you, you.

What I’m trying to say is that we have no control over existence, we exist because we exist, not to fill out a plan, or to fit into a space left out for us, rather, we are made by accident, by a species too developed and negligent to care about their planet, but not wise enough to realise that we are no longer needed. Animals reproduce to survive,some do it out of duty, some might even do it to survive, but they all do it so they may continue to live and that their existence as a species my prhosper. But humanity, even though we have taken over the world and have enslaved animals for our own survival, why do we continue to make more children? To continue the species still, perhaps because you like to do it or because you want to start a family, but still, from our primal needs, we have a desire to survive through our children.

When you are born, you were made for someone else, you had no say, no say in where or who and even why. And now you must live. You must exist. You have no power, no choice, you are ferried into school and education so you might obtain a job so you can die, you have no choice, its randomisation.

One day you could get cancer, or one day you could lose your leg due to an infection, perhaps you just lost your job due to a pandemic what as not prevented, maybe you haven't even graduate yet, still working on trying to work, just to find out your dream job or perhaps the profession you want is no longer needed and has been replaced, or that you might be getting into realising that your dream job wasn’t a dream after all. We can make choices, that's a guarantee, but to pull out a card from a deck and get the card you want isn’t easy, especially if that deck is a thousand cards high

I wanted to talk about this as I find it hard to talk about things i'm not so interested in, i can talk for ages about things such as Destiny, such as seen in this project, but other factors are far less enjoyable. In my life, randomisation has played a huge roll. For factors minor and major. I was born a boy in a family of girls, my gender being brought up when talking about why i'm different, I was named after my father's fake name because he hated his own, and through a simple gaming limitation of 3 letters, I was named to that fact that the only reason im here is because one day my mum had to get a client who had a boot sale who had just had their kid move out who just happened to have an original xbox, what I, out of anything, chose.

Randomisation is present everywhere in life, from your genetics making your hair blond and your eyes blue to deciding if you will even live to your twenties. This rant is not the best organised or the best explained, that in apparent, and that's also due to Randomisation, as out of all the traits to give me in this world, from good looks, a receptive and well adaptable brain to even having a good immune system, I was sadly born and idiot who’s too lazy to learn.

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lex-n-weegie · 2 years

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I can't stop thinking about neurodivergent Sun and Moon so here's a ramble/gush post about it (under the cut ofc, I know I tend to ramble a lot so better safe than sorry!)

(please don't reblog with your own f/o tags for Sun or Moon. I don't mind sharing, but this is specifically made for my selfship and comfort. Please be nice ♡)

Sun loves to stim by either flapping their hands, clapping them together, or jumping (they get so happy and excited that they have to get the energy out somehow!!)

Will ramble for hours. He thinks a mile a minute, and sometimes will jump between topics and get side tracked

Sun and Moon actually have a special interest in robotics! At first it was because they wanted to be ready if the worst happened (they got hurt/injured for example, but no one was around the to help fix him), but over time it quickly grew to be very very interesting for them and they loved to tinker with the parts

Moon specifically has some noise sensory issues, which is the main reason they take over during the night. Too much noise makes them freak out and they'll claw at their own body

On the other side of things, Sun actually really REALLY dislikes things being too quiet. All they need is just some sort of sound in the background (like the daycare theme that plays faintly throughout the building) and they're all good! If things are too quiet, they do the same thing Moon does

And ofc now for Evie and Sun/Moon stuff :)

Ofc Evie is exactly like me when it comes to things like my autism, so her and the daycare attendant have a lot of overlap (basically, everything that's gotta do with Evie here is the same for me!!)

Stims a lot with Sunny!! They'll bounce around together when happy

Evie actually has some vocal stims, like they'll randomly make noises to themself throughout the day/night. Sometimes Sunny will join them for the fun of making silly noises

Evie hates it when things are too quiet AND when they're too loud. The first is the reason she's always got a pair of headphones with her. Ofc, she gets along well with Sun and Moon when it comes to those things

Loves pressure. A lot. Tight hugs from Sun and Moon are a must (Moon does his hugs by surprise however. He likes to spook and slightly annoy her)

They all actually really like weighted blankets, so there's a few around the daycare they'll sometimes use for cuddle sessions

Evelyn is also a chatterbox when it comes to special interests and hyperfixaions, she's almost exactly like Sunny where she thinks a mile a minute and will often get sidetracked. Neither Sun nor Moon mind however, they often say that Evelyn's voice is they favorite sound 👉👈

Also Evie is pretty forgetful. They'll forget what they're talking about in the middle of them talking about it. They'll also restate/ask things they've said/asked before, sometimes quite frequently. Sun and Moon have a really good memory, but they don't tell her when she's saying something again since they know it tends to upset her (she just ends up feeling annoying). They'll also help remind her of what she was talking about to she can get back on track

Anyways that's it that's the post I'ma go cuddle Sunny now -w-

#I'd grab my weighted blanket but #It REALLY needs to be washed and me and my family hasn't had the time yet #It's upsetting I wanna use it and pretend that Sun and Moon are snuggling me 😭#lex worldbuilding #yes this is all my cannon of them lol #lit up my world #singing in the moonlight #evelyn

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doberbutts · 3 years

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Hi! Wondering if I can take you up on the offer in that dysautonomia post.

I’ve been feeling randomly more tired than it feels like I should, but I think it’s not general deconditioning? Showers can wipe me out for a few hours and a shower chair is helpful - but I can walk for miles and afaict even a 5 mile hike drained my mental energy before obvious physical exhaustion (noticeably worse executive function and sensory/emotional tolerance but only normal muscle fatigue). Medically, been trying to sort out high hgb/hct that isn’t going down that much with T dose, and also night sweats at least a few times a week, and also I can be lying down to nap with my heart rate over 100 and it only comes down slowly. Can’t freaking tell what’s ptsd triggers, what’s other stress/anxiety, what’s maybe autistic burnout/sensory management taking much more energy than I expect, what’s needing to eat more consistently, what might be sleep issues, what’s effects of hormone levels, or what might be something else. I’m waiting for a sleep study to try to rule out sleep issues. I would really appreciate any pointers if any of this sounds like it might point a particular direction or if other tests might be useful.

Sadly that could be a lot of things, and I definitely think a sleep study is a good way to start. Making sure to manage your food and water intake, fixing your sleep schedule, taking care to be kind to yourself during episodes, those are a good place to start. No, I'm not saying that that will completely fix your problems, but any doctor that knows about POTS that does end up diagnosing you [if you have it] will tell you to do these things anyway. This is why I have been slowly attempting to unfuck my life.

If all of these things don't seem to be helping and the sleep study reveals nothing, the next thing I'd do is buy a cheap blood pressure monitor and see if you can have an actual record of your heart rate and blood pressure before, during, and after these episodes if possible. Something that records the output, or take a photo of the readings so you can show them to your doctor. Personally being a child of diabetics I also recommend buying a cheap glucose test kit to see if your sugar levels are doing anything funky during these times as well. Try to keep a journal of time of day, what you were doing just prior, and the readings you're acquiring to see if someone can point out a pattern.

A really easy way to see if there's a cause for pushing for specific testing is to go from seated to standing at your usual pace. If you are an otherwise healthy person and your heart rate jumps more than 30 bpm there is a pretty good indication that something interesting is happening inside of you that shouldn't be. If you also notice a big spike or drop in your blood pressure when initially standing or after standing still for a long period, that's another clue.

If you unfuck these areas of your life AND are getting concerning readings with little to no improvement on symptoms, it's time to look deeper. Most cardiologists will do a 24hr holtor, an EKG, a tilt table test, and/or a stress test, though the tilt table test is the one that really tends to seal the deal. However with some of your symptoms, I would honestly not be surprised to hear your doctors wanting the sleep study and probably an EEG to rule out things like sleep disorders or epilepsy as there can be some overlap.

It does take the average patient 8 years for a diagnosis- it took me less the first time around because of my family history, but the second time around took more like a year and a half due to comorbidities and I literally almost died. A friend of mine got really jerked around by her doctors for close to 6 months before someone was willing to run a tilt table test and almost instantly diagnosed her the second she fainted during the test. Another friend was told she was being a ridiculous germaphobe while her doctor ordered the test despite having a known dx of something commonly associated with POTS and again she was still diagnosed almost instantly during her tilt table. A third friend keeps getting 'hmm maybe' 'no' 'totally healthyl 'yes?' 'okay well that's weird' when he asks for a tilt table and they refused to give it to him despite picking up arrhythmias during his holtor and EKG- it's been a year and he's still arguing with the doctors to get a tilt table. Unfortunately many doctors simply aren't trained in autonomic disorders or in autoimmune disorders, and POTS is both. It can be very difficult to find someone willing to listen to you.

If you do all of these things and land on 🤷‍♂️, a lot of times it's things like fibro or MS, and the knowledge gained from these tests will help find a diagnosis of whatever-it-is affecting you.

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eirenical · 3 years

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1 and 2 for the writing meta prompt please!

Thank you, @flamingwell

[If anyone else would like to send questions, here is the list. ^_^]

1. Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

Oooooooh boy. Well, I have quite a few. XD So, how about we just go through the ones I have actively open in Word right now?

Legacies Found: The Untamed, sequel to Legacies Lost. This is a giant canon divergent AU that I've been working on for well over a year at this point. There is one key thing that I changed (and in the interest of spoilers, I'm not going to say what, but if you're curious and don't mind spoilers then, by all means, come ask and I'll tell you all about it. ;D) and it affected everything in-universe, some for the better, some for the worse. Here's the AO3 summary:

Sixteen years ago, the Yiling Patriarch died, a victim to his own hubris and the Yin Tiger Seal. Hundreds of cultivators from many different sects died with him that day, their souls forever doomed to find no rest, even in death. On this, the 16th anniversary of the battle of Qiongqi Pass, Jin Ling is determined to make pilgrimage, to try to put the spirit of his long-lost father to rest. He finds much more than he bargained for, and what he finds… will change everything.

And in the sequel, things have progressed significantly from this point, but the people involved are still broken in various ways, not quite at the point of healing yet, but getting there. The plot is opening up to the wider world and new characters are going to be introduced, and I'm having a lot of fun writing it, but it is SO MUCH SLOWER GOING. OTZ

Mirror, Mirror: I talked about this one extensively in this post, and it hasn't really progressed any further from there. XD This is a Guardian AU based on a short film that Zhu Yilong did with Li Bingbing called "Into the Mirror" (there's a link in the other post).

Reclamation: *eg* For anyone who's been following my Whumptober series (yes, I know we're WELL past October OTZ) of fics that I've been writing for Granting You a Dreamlike Life, this is the latest in the series. This monster is already almost 18K words and it's... it's a LOT. The story is a canon-divergent AU that starts out mostly overlapping canon during episode 35 and begins to diverge somewhere between there and episode 36. I leaned REALLY hard into the whump on this one, went really self-indulgent and wrote the fic that I would most want to read for this fandom, because I was pretty damned sure that no one else would write it or would take it as far and as dark as I wanted it to go if they did. And this particular story is the darkest of the bunch so far. ^_~ I'm not going to link directly to this one, because this is definitely a HEED THE TAGS situation, but if anyone's interested in some really, REALLY dark GYADL fic... hit me up and I'll be happy to tell you more. ^_^ (And for those who just want to look for themselves, you can find it under #eirenical does whumptober or on my AO3 where the series name is "Indefinitely." ^_^)

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

I think I've talked enough about my current projects, so how about some future projects for this one? ^_^

(...and how about under a cut because this is getting kind of long...)

The Lost Tomb Reboot

I have... several fic at the plotty stage for TLTR, and I just added a new one to the list this morning. XD

Ershu fic: So, for anyone who's been following my TLTR journey, you know I'm obsessed with Ershu. I LOVE HIM. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. And you know what happens when I love a character, right? Right? I WANT TO BREAK THEM. *coughs* Anyway, something happens to Ershu in S2 of TLTR that I won't go into detail about because spoilers, but essentially, he's betrayed and ends up in the hands of the person who betrayed him with no one else being the wiser and with him helpless and unable to tell anyone. And there are just... all KINDS of dark, fucked up possibilities there, and just like the Whumptober series, I AM going to write that fic, even if no one but me ends up reading it. ;D

Probably post-canon domestic bliss fic: For those of you who enjoy WHIPLASH ;D, I just honestly want ALL THE SOFT DOMESTIC IRON TRIANGLE. ALL OF IT. And I want Wu Xie and Ershu to have an opportunity to sit down and actually TALK about things (e.g., their need for a family heir), instead of trying to one-up each other. Special appearances by all the ducklings, Xiao Bai's girlfriend, and Lia Jiale and Jia Kezi (...my fic, my rules, we ignore canon when we want to ^_^) having an ...oh moment, and sweet, soft cuddles for Liu Sang and Kan Jian because they're adorable and I love them, too. (I have no idea if this is all going in one fic or if it will be a series of slice of life things, but I just want everyone to get their happily ever after IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK???)

Post-canon Huo Daofu and Xiao Ge... time-sharing Wu Xie?: IDEK what to call what's going on here, but... yeah. XD (See, @elenothar, I haven't forgotten! ;D) To crib from another post... I really do think that Xiao ge loves Wu Xie and loves being with him and all that that entails, but that he gets… restless. A little feral cat, if you will. And he just needs to wander off and be on his own for a while sometimes. And I would love to see a permutation where it’s just kind of understood that he and Huo Daofu just kind of… share Wu Xie. ^_^ Not in a threesome way, but in a way that they both understand each other’s claim on Wu Xie and neither of them wants him to be alone, so they just kind of… work that out between them. Like he's a time share. (OMG, I have to be careful of how often I use that phrase for this fic or I'm going to end up calling it that as a title. XD)

DMBJ x Highlander xover that I just came up with literally this morning: No, seriously, this LITERALLY just popped into my head as I was waking up this morning. It was a wild fucking ride, too. O_o;;; ANYWAY, I'm probably going to make a separate headcanon/plotty post for this one, but basically I just randomly woke up thinking... Duncan was an antique dealer in the late 80s/early 90s in the US. Wu Xie is an antique dealer in China, now, and his family has been involved in the antique trade for a... VERY long time. Maybe Duncan did some business with the Wu family. Maybe he met Wu Xie as a kid. Maybe he knew Xiao ge even EARLIER than that (like 100 years earlier). Maybe post-canon Highlander, Duncan starts getting back into the antique trade by helping to quietly repatriate artifacts and comes to China to deal with the Wu family to do that, and meets Wu Xie again... and Xiao ge. And has a WTF moment because Xiao ge ISN'T an Immortal like he is, but he doesn't look a day older than when they met 100 years ago and just... WTF?? And Wu Xie is looking at Duncan and looking at Xiao ge and having a WTF moment of his own because is EVERYONE immortal except him and Pangzi?? And... I just think that would be a lot of fun to play with. ;D

Guardian:

The Care and Training of a Former Megalomaniac V and VI, maybe?: OK, so this idea isn't really concrete, but I still want to play with it. I want to do something to tackle Ye Zun's past with the Rebel Leader and the trauma that that left behind, and I'm thinking he'll end up having a good (...drunk) talk with Da Qing about it.

Another idea I had (MUCH more concrete) was based off my own poor lazy bb. He LOVES to catch bugs. LOVES IT. He gets SO EXCITED and SO into it... but sometimes the bugs fly up to the ceiling. And Gabriel is comfy in my lap and doesn't want to move. So he will swat at the bug... halfheartedly. And then he will turn around and complain to me when it won't come down to be swatted at again. Like I can somehow make it come down so he can play with it? IDEK. XD ANYWAY. I had a vivid mental image of Da Qing doing this to Ye Zun and somehow convincing him to actually... bring the bug down. Using his powers. And someone at the SID detects Ye Zun using his powers so ZYL and SW race home... to find Ye Zun... using his powers... to tether bugs for Da Qing to play with. And I just think that would be hilarious. XD

...I think that's everything in the mental kiddy right now? XD

#ask meme answers #meta asks for writers meme #flamingwell #eirenical writes things #plot bunnies #guardian #the lost tomb reboot #dmbj x highlander au #i should start tagging that #granting you a dreamlike life #eirenical does whumptober #notes: legacies found #notes: legacies lost #eirenical does whumptober 2020

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ravel-puzzlewell · 3 years

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so I was playing Delamain quest where you hunt down the taxi that thinks it’s Clarice from the “Silence of the lambs” when I first saw the tree bug where they get glitchy and slam dunk into the ground. It looked so weird and I haven’t seen it before, so I thought it’s intentional. And it was like the first or second car I had to hunt down for this questline, so I didn’t know how it went and I immediately thought “Oh wait, Delamain said that maybe his cars are going crazy because they were affected by the virus, and I connected to them, so maybe the virus is now affecting the relic and making it go crazy?? And I’ll have to solve whatever is going on with Del to cure myself too? Wow that’s so clever, I can’t wait to see how Johnny turns into a giant flamingo and starts screaming at me about Arasaka.” And of course I was wrong, it was an unrelated bug and this quest is just an awkward reference to the movie with a joke about smashing flamingos “to keep them silent” that doesn’t really work.

But it got me thinking, imagine if this game had the same bugs it already has, but they were used intentionally as an artistic expression? Wouldn’t it make sense that the glitching program in your head would change your perception of the world, instead of just generically coughing blood. We already have the relic countdown and the system that unlocks quests only when you hit certain milestones, so the game can start normal and get glitchier and glitchier as the time progresses. Like, you hear horrible news and just fall through the map into the endless void, because this is how it feels to learn someone close to you died. Clothes vanishing and dick\tits clipping through clothes when you are embarrassed or humiliated, i.e. “naked before the crowd”. You visit a corpo office building and all NPCs here are the same model t-posing, because Johny sees them as interchangeable useless drones and his views are leaking into the shared brainspace. You talk to Misty or Jackie’s mom and his model keep appearing on top and clipping through theirs, because they remind the protagonist of Jackie, same with his bike. The holo window with a portrait of love interest sticks up there even after the call is ended, randomly appears while you play and overlaps other holos, because the protag keeps thinking about them. And so on and so forth, use the tools unique to the medium.

Not to mention, my “favorite” bug where you can’t draw weapons until you sleep with a hooker. I don’t know why, but you entire save file gets corrupted and reloading earlier doesn’t work, and when I googled it, people were suggesting two fixes - go to the bar (didn’t work for me) and sleep with a joytoy (worked). But if you think about it philosophically, doesn’t toxic masculinity links power with sexual prowess? Doesn’t through these lens it makes sense that the protagonist feels powerless (can’t fight) until they have sex, esp where they are in control and won’t be criticized (because they are paying)? With the alternative of abusing the substances (going to a bar). It gets even more interesting because the second time this bug happened to me and I went to joytoy, instead the dialog with a monk activated for no fucking reason, and what is it, if not commentary of people being cockblocked by religion and societal ideas of morality?

#gta 2077 #cyberpunk 2077 #sorry i know i went too much into trolling in the end #but i think the game using bug-like effects intentionally would be so cool #ACTUAL bugs not just screen having 'glitch-filter' for 3 seconds

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holycow99 · 3 years

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石田お寿司 12/9/21 stream translation Part 12

This is not the full translation of the stream. I only translated the parts I could understand & interpret or parts I found interesting/important. I’m still a beginner in Japanese, so the translations may not be accurate. If you want to repost, please repost at your own risk.

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(t/n: ** means translation may not be accurate.)

C: From your perspective, are editors someone who nurture (mangakas)? Are they gonna continue to be a presence who shape a part of you?

I: Nurturing? I don’t even aware of it at all. I think that applies to each other. I think both shape a part of each other as the relationship deepens. The editor gives feedback and the writer fixes the story based on the feedback. That’s how a work is created. I think both are shaping a part of one another. The writer and the editor becomes that kind of existence to each other and that’s how they both grow and change on their own accord. I don’t think they help writers grow though. To me, helping a human to grow is presumptuous/stupid.

(t/n: The word ‘okagamashii’ means both presumptuous and stupid. I’m not sure which one of them was he referring to in this context. You can interpret it as you like.)

I: Is the next Choujin X gonna be release soon?

I: Yeah. I forgot how to draw it in the middle of drawing the draft, so it took me some time.

*Ishida mentioned that he’s finding time to do both choujin x and animal rap, as well as drawing JJ’s illustrations.

C: I’m happy there’s a lot of streaming videos lately.

I: There’s not a lot lately, since I went away for a while. Maybe the duration was actually shorter than I thought it was.

C: Let’s stream until noon.

I: Well…it depends on the situation. I do think of that. I can’t help but do my work during streaming. Just like what I’m doing currently. If I play games, I’ll just play and then when it’s over, I can just end the stream. But when I’m doing my work, I don’t know when I should end it. I’ve no choice but to finish my work. In other words, I’ll be streaming until I’m done with my manuscript. For me, doing that is good because my work can progress. It’s like I’m being monitored. For a period of time, OPM’s artist, Murata sensei did that before but he quit for few reasons. I think it’s good to feel like you’re being monitored. Hamada Yoshikasu sensei did that as well. He pretty much streamed him working everyday. I’m not sure whether he’s still doing it.

C: Do stream every night.

I: That’s a bit…This is also difficult for me to do. I like making plans on what I should do. For example, “what I should do for this and that day?” or “what if I do this with this pace?”, but to actually follow the plan is hard. You’d feel lazy on the very day you had a plan. People who thoroughly follow their plans are admirable, aren’t they? It’s not like I have the need to follow it. But then, I wish to be able to do that.

C: If you get bored drawing the background, I want you to stream while you’re working on it even if it’s on irregular basis.

I: For the background, I must finish doing them all at once, if not it’ll take a few days. There’s a limit to what kind of work I can stream. I don’t want really wanna show me working on the latest chapter. It’s the latest chapter, after all. I’ll show the chapter after I’ve drawn it properly. This one is basically me fixing the chapter 2, so it’s fine.

C: It’ll be nice if there’s a notice before the stream on the day itself.

I: I see. It’ll be easier to watch if there’s a notice. You can arrange your time. But then, it depends on my mood. I‘d feel sorry if I suddenly don’t wanna stream, but you guys are already excitedly waiting for it. So, I’ll just do it randomly.

C: I can prepare some sweets if there’s a notice beforehand.

I: Well…Maybe I’ll at least give notice on that very day. If I really wanna stream, then I might let you guys know beforehand.

I: The 30,000 commemoration. I might not do anything for it. But I’ll keep that as a memory. Even someone like me can have that amount of subscribers with this kind of content. I’m thankful for that.

C: I turn on my notification, so it doesn’t matter if you tell us beforehand or not.

I: Oh, really? Then, I’ll do it as I like. It’s better If there’s a notice. Well, I’ll do it if I feel like it.

C: This is random, but I only turned on your tweet notification.

I: Sometimes, I forgot to update on my twitter though. I update it when I’m streaming.

C: 30,000 subscribers is amazing! It’s more than the number of people in my home town.

I: That’s true. If you think about it that way, then 30,000 is amazing.

*Someone wanted Ishida to stream the drawing of the Choujin X’s volume’s cover, but he said it’ll be hard to do that.

C: For me, I like for the cover to be a surprise.

I: Hm…I probably think so too.

I: For me, regarding choujin x, I want everything about it, such as the drafts, to be a secret. If I got to do another manga, then I might…ah, but that probably wouldn’t be possible due to my personality. I do kinda want to be monitored when I’m drawing difficult stuffs. It seems to be efficient for me that way. It could make me feel motivated if you guys watching me draw them.

*The adult comment came back.

I: Can I do something about it? It’s probably just random comments. Report or timeout? What’s timeout for? Should I try time it out this time? Did it time out?

*The comment finally gone. It’s troublesome though. I have to do something about the comment every single time. I should leave it to the dark moderator.

I: It did!

*Ishida mentioned that he’d timeout this one fan if they commented something unpleasant.

C: That could be a reward itself.

I: What? Me banning that person? That’s already a stalker attitude. You mean it’s because I noticed them, right? There must be such people. But what a pitiful person if that’s the only way for them to be noticed by others. Doing what the other party dislikes, then seeing their unpleasant reaction. Being happy just by the fact that the other party reacted to them is already a lost cause. Don’t wanna be that kind of person, right?

C: It’s amazing how you can have a phone call with someone everyday.

I: It depends on the occasion. Like when you really feel the need to talk or when you’re having a tough time. I too had times when I randomly just called someone because I couldn’t concentrate working. When I thought it’d be good for me to work while conversing, then I’d call someone. But the other person also has their own life, if this happens continuously, even if they say okay, they must be actually enduring it. I mostly speak to my work-related friend.

C: Being a mangaka is a lonely job, isn’t it?

I: Yeah, you’re right. This is also another difficult issue. It might get harder to confront my work if I spend more time with others. So, especially, recently, I tried to get myself more motivated. I’ve isolated myself around until the end of summer, but as I thought, working with people is easier for me, mentally speaking. I have somebody to listen to me and I feel less pressured, that is, they give me some kind of advice and I can apply them.

C: Do you consult with the editor in charge when you’re at loss?

I: I think I do. I did consult with Mr. Matsuo at the beginning. But then, I think it’s important to resolve your problems on your own. I do think I have a lot of people I can consult with, and that’s totally fine, but I don’t want to do that. I want to find the answers that I’m completely satisfied with by myself. So, I hold myself back from seeking others’ advice. I did ask Ms. Towada about stuffs on JJ when I had some questions since she gave good answers.

I: Well, I wanna work on this manga randomly. And by ‘random’, I don’t mean sloppily. I wanna work on this manga in a way that’s appropriate for both the work and I. So, I thought it’d be better for me to seek less advice or opinions from others. I’ll do differently if this way isn’t working.

C: You’re a wise person.

I: Obviously. Hahaha. Of course. It’s because I keep thinking about things like this. I hope you find my words useful.

*He then mentioned that he preferred the way of doing things randomly, but it might not be suitable for certain people. However, it’s okay to seek advice.

*Ishida recalling the conversation he had with Ms. Towada regarding Hoshi Sandek.

I: “Hoshi and Arima look similar, right?”.

T: “Have you seen how Arima Kishou looks like?”.

I: “Yes, I have… They look similar, right?”

T: “You mean their characters’ overlapped?”

I: “Not that.”

T: “Hmm….”

I: Hahaha. What do you guys think? Do Sandek and Arima look similar?

C: Are you a TG bandwagon fan?

I: Hahaha. I might’ve never read it properly. But I legit did read TG recently. I’m not kidding. I took a look at it again. I’m thinking of accepting TG. It’s not that I don’t. I wanna accept it more. All said and done, I’m really glad I wrote TG. It’s good that I have something to leave behind. It’s definitely a good thing.

C: Have you ever played Red Dead Redemption 2? (comment in eng.)

I: Like I said, short time. Short time? Little time. (Speaking in eng) I wanna play it though. I wanna play more, but I’ve no time. Too busy.

C: I think Hoshi is actually what Sui looks like. (comment in eng.)

I: She’s saying Hoshi looks similar to me. Are you kidding me?

*Ishida looking for another page to draw.

I: Please take a look at this version of the chapter in the magazine. This will be in the comic as well, probably. They’re both the same.

C: Sensei, are you gonna sleep after this?

I: Nope. I’ll probably check whether Hitman’s already downloaded after I end the stream. After that, I’ll eat and then finish up my upcoming work. I need to add colour for the pages. And I kinda wanna draw an illustration. Have you guys seen Itaewon Class on Netflix? It’s from a Korean webtoon. It’s been made into a drama and I was super addicted to it.

C: Park Saeroyi? (The name of the drama’s mc)

I: Yes. That one. He’s really cool. That hairstyle. I wanna draw Park Saeroyi, if can. There’s this sassy kinda girl in the story, right? That girl is a total beauty. Yi Seo. (t/n: Yi Seo is the FL’s name.)

I: I wanna draw real humans. I’ve been drawing them lately, not that it’s a problem, since I’ve been drawing manga only.

C: She is pretty!!

I: I know right. She’s gorgeous.

I: I read a little bit of the original work, and it pretty much the same as the drama, so I thought the original work was amazing. But then, the Japanese version changed it into Roppongi Class. It’s a different vibe… Does it really matter if it’s in Itaewon? They changed it to suit Japanese readers. Was it the Line Manga or was it not? I don’t remember, but they did that. Just let it be in Itaewon or Korea. I was like “Don’t f*** with me!”.

C: Marunouchi Class.

I: Haha. I’m drawing that. Marunouchi Class. (t/n: Marunouchi is a commercial district in Tokyo.)

I: Itaewon is better. There’s no such place in Roppongi. I’m not familiar with Roppongi though. It may have places like this, but it’s better to showcase the vibes of Korea. Itaewon is a place packed with foreigner. It’s a miscellaneous street. It’s close to Roppongi now that I’ve put it that way. But still…Those who subscribe to Netflix, I recommend you to watch Itaewon Class. They only shot scenes that were important, so it’s really easy to follow the story. Such a beautiful drama. There were quite a lot of cliché moments, but there were also some unexpected twists in those moments, so it pulled you in. Korean entertainment is far ahead.

*The assistant guy finally went to sleep.

I: Oh, you’re gonna sleep now? You definitely can’t oversleep. Don’t mention my name as well. Haha. Do your best as an assistant. Okay, after he left, everyone takes a screenshot. I’m gonna send it to his boss.

C: Sensei, do you read the manga “This is Good”?

I: I don’t. Is it an ecchi manga? Is it the one in Tonari Young Jump? Is it the one with beautiful drawing probably? I wanna try reading it. I need to cultivate (?) and boost the popularity of Tonari Young Jump. I’d like to take on that mission.

I: Has Mr. assistant slept already?

C: I won’t sleep then.

I: It’s okay 2x. Please sleep. Don’t worry 2x. Nothing’s gonna happen. If you’re worried, you can watch it later.

I: I just thought of the number 1 prank he shouldn’t do. I wanted to ask him to draw shit on the manuscript. I wanted him to leave my mark on the background. But that’s definitely a no-no. It’ll be a problem. However, that kind of assistants do exist. Not a lot, but there are assistants that play around.

Part 13

#ishida sui #tokyo ghoul #jack jeanne #choujin x #chojin x #ishida sushi channel

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douchebagbrainwaves · 3 years

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POST-RISK COMPANY MANAGEMENT COMPANY MANAGEMENT COMPANY

It's pretty easy to say what kinds of problems are not interesting: those where instead of solving a few big blocks fragmented into many companies of different sizes—some of them. Here there were 3 choices: NBC, CBS, and ABC. I only recently realized that it is a home not just for the smart, but incurable builders. Whatever was going to study philosophy in college. But if you look, there are ways to decrease its effects. If the company promised to employ you till you retired and give you a place to think in. Why bother? In his autobiography, Robert MacNeil talks of seeing gruesome images that had just come in from Vietnam and thinking, we can't show these to families while they're having dinner. Maybe, I suggested, he should buy some stock in this company. Even if you could get to work on what you like. And that is another area where undergrads have an edge. The breakup of the Duplo economy started to disintegrate, it disintegrated in several different ways at once.1

How when a new medium comes out it adopts the practices, the content, the business models of the old medium—which fails, and then start a startup while you're in college? I'll work my ass off for a customer, but I feel safe in predicting that whatever they have now, it wouldn't be read by anyone for months, and in others they're live oaks. Companies like Cisco are proud that everyone there has a cubicle, even the CEO.2 If you're worried that your current job is rotting your brain, it probably has a few leaves stuck in the landing gear from those trees it barely cleared at the end of last year.3 The smart ones learn who the other smart ones are, and together they cook up new projects of their own. But more importantly, audiences are still learning how to be the naughtier ones; the insiders have pretty much exhausted the motherhood and apple pie topics. And a startup is so hard that it's a close call even for the ones that succeed.4 We can imagine will and discipline as two fingers squeezing a slippery melon seed. A poor student who could afford only rice was eating his rice while enjoying the delicious cooking smells coming from the food shop.

They were professionals working in fields like law, finance, and consulting. I don't like it.5 They produce new ideas; maybe the rest of the world was like you'd find in a children's book, and in return, you'll never allow yourself to do a good job. I jumped up like Archimedes in his bathtub, except instead of Eureka! Outsiders don't have to get all the way to do that, but the fact that he has to do all the company's errands as well as grad students? They've tried hard to make their offices less sterile than the usual cube farm. Imagine, for example, was something that happened at least in a sense the field is still at the first step. Why? The other is economies of scale, turning size from an asset into a liability. What do those users want? So which ones?

I know of only one who would voluntarily program in Java. And though you can't see it, cosmopolitan San Francisco is 40 minutes to the north. And yet—for reasons having more to do with technology than human nature—a great many people work for companies with hundreds or thousands of employees.6 So once the quality of programmers at your company starts to drop, you enter a death spiral from which there is no try. And fortunately at least two of these three qualities can be cultivated.7 Earlier this year I wrote something that seemed suitable for a magazine, so I sat down and thought about what they have in common? Outsiders don't have to tell anyone you're doing philosophy. Ignorance can be useful when it's a counterweight to other forms of stupidity.

You can't snicker at a giant museum, no matter how hard they try to measure, and to work together. I ever read it? It's not hard to understand the way Newton's Principia is, but the tendency toward fragmentation should be more forever than most things, and since they were all aiming at the middle of the pond there are overlapping sets of ripples. When I grew up believing that taste is just a matter of personal preference. And fortunately at least two of these three qualities can be cultivated. Fortunately that future is not limited to the startup world. The market doesn't give a shit how hard you worked.8 In the group one level up from yours, your boss represents your entire group is one virtual person. In tax rates, federal power, defense spending, conscription, and nationalism the decades after the war looked more like wartime than prewar peacetime. All humans find faces engaging—practically by definition: face recognition is in our DNA. Even hackers can't tell.

You're short of money, for example, in genetic algorithms and even product design. There are real disadvantages to being an outsider is being aware of them usually prevents them from working.9 Class projects will inevitably solve fake problems. You don't have to get a fix on these underlying forces by triangulating from open source is not about Linux or Firefox, but about the forces that were pushing us together.10 If I were you I'd look for the next invading army. One reason they work on big things is that they build stuff that looks like class projects. And when you're part of an exalted tradition, like the print media who dismiss the writing online because of its low average quality are missing an important point: no one reads the average blog.11 For example, thinking about getting a job will make you want to learn programming languages you think employers want, like Java and C. One reason they were excited was Yahoo's revenue growth. Most I find through aggregators like Google News or Slashdot or Delicious.

Notes

But he got there by another path.

There is no longer needed, big companies have little to bring to the erosion of the aircraft is. No.

Jones, A. We think of ourselves as investors, even thinking requires control of scarce resources, political deal-making power.

Why does society foul you? FreeBSD and stored their data in files. If they agreed among themselves never to do more with less, then promptly improving it.

To a 3 year old to get fossilized. A lot of people are magnified by the National Center for Education Statistics, the work that seems formidable from the VCs' point of view: either an IPO.

Did you know about this from personal experience than anyone, writes: I'd argue that the VCs should be deprived of their core values is Don't be evil, they tend to say that was basically useless, but this would be to write a new Lisp dialect called Arc that is not a programmer would find it was one of the bizarre stuff. Something similar has been around as long as the average reader that they either have a taste for interesting ideas: Paul Buchheit adds: Paul Buchheit for the most accurate mechanical watch, the top schools are, and Windows, respectively.

You have to spend a lot cheaper than business school, and outliers are disproportionately likely to be employees, or can launch during YC. Steve Wozniak in Jessica Livingston's Founders at Work.

Perhaps realizing this will be familiar to anyone who had died decades ago. I have no idea what's happening till they measure their returns. I know randomly generated DNA would not know his name.

This just seems to pass so slowly for them. That's why there's a special title for actual partners. There may be the least experience creating it. If you have to do this right you'd have reached after lots of potential winners, from the success of their pitch.

03%. It is still possible, to the next round is high as well. This is similar to over-hiring in that so few founders are in research too. 66.

VCs. They shut down a few VC firms.

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blazehedgehog · 3 years

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Do you ever think of yourself as being on the ASD? Up until the past few years (I'm 25 now), I never considered the possibility but as I delved deeper I identified with a lot of common behaviors (obsession, preferring isolation, social issues/anxiety, pickiness) and explained why I found it so difficult to assimilate in high school.

I’ve occasionally wondered, but there are a lot of things that kind of go against the grain of that kind of diagnosis. The few symptoms I exhibit of ASD also overlap with something that’s far more likely, and that’s that I probably have ADHD.

I had two or three teachers growing up try to convince my Mom that I had ADHD and that I needed to be medicated for it. My Mom refused to believe them, because back in the early 90′s, the traditional definition of ADHD included hyperactivity, and I was not a classically hyperactive kid. The image of ADD kids back then was being unable to sit still, unable to stop acting out. ADD kids were loud and grabby and uncontrollable, which I definitely was not.

We understand a lot more about the condition now and even though you should never self-diagnose, I’m 99% sure I have ADHD. My inability to focus on one singular hobby (hi, I’m an artist, game developer, sound engineer, youtuber, streamer, and writer), my extremely selective and poor memory, my inability to switch tracks and get motivated on something else after my mind is already set, my utter impatience for certain things, etc.

My isolation and social issues can be explained simply by my depression more than ASD, I think. I’ve talked about this before but I fell apart in high school. Things happened to me in middle school; I had bullies that acted like my friends, they did some deeply horrible things to me, and it completely destroyed my ability to trust anyone for decades. To some degree, it still persists to this very day. It just... wrecked me, in a way that’s hard to describe, and harder to even comprehend. I stopped showering. I stopped brushing my teeth. I just gave up on taking care of myself. I’ve blocked most of the memories out because of trauma coping mechanisms; I only know some of these things because other people have told me they happened. It really was that bad.

I had a really bad stretch of like, five years, from around 13 years old to 17 or 18, maybe even 19. I did eventually get away from those bullies in high school, but the combination of self-loathing they left me with combined with my ADHD and the mounting anxiety problems I was developing meant I coasted through an entire semester of algebra class absorbing absolutely nothing and I got a failing grade. Friends (new ones) dared me to skip one class with them for fun, and I figured “Well I’m doing bad in algebra anyway, so yeah, I’ll skip with you and go to the bowling alley.”

And that started the snowball. I became unmoored from the routine of school, which can be a big problem when you have ADHD. Skipping algebra every now and then became always skipping algebra. Then I started skipping gym too, because getting undressed in front of the other kids in the locker room was an introvert nightmare. Skipping two classes turned in to skipping three. Then four. Then all classes. Who cares, right? I couldn’t muster up the interest, especially when I realized I had no idea what the current lesson plan was anymore.

My girlfriend dumped me. The school waited until the start of my senior year to pull me aside and inform me that it was impossible for me to graduate under any circumstances (the first and only sign of disapproval they had shown me in three and a half years). My internet friends were yelling at me. I lost touch with my real-life friends. I had massive, gigantic, reality-ending panic attacks that left me too paralyzed to leave my room even to go to the bathroom. I teetered on the edge of having a nervous breakdown. I lost over 100lbs, leaving me nothing more than skin and bones. The mountain of stress I was feeling was taking a toll on my health.

I shut down. Closed myself off to the outside world. Ryan did not exist anymore. And for something like a decade, that’s how I lived. My only human contact was with immediate family (when they could drag me out in to the sunlight against my will) and with a core group of shrinking internet friends. The few that did not lose respect for me, anyway.

That does things to you. The parts of your brain that knew how to socialize atrophy and you forget how to hold a conversation. When I was still going to school, my cousin and I told each other we should become therapists, because we were excellent at listening to people and being mediators. We could fix anyone’s problems. Now, those skills died inside of me. I went from being able to make anyone feel better to constantly sticking my foot in my mouth. Being a nuisance, even when I wasn’t trying to be. I lost all sense of what was appropriate to say, or how to convey my feelings. Or convey anything outside of a keyboard, really. I made a lot of people angry and upset totally by accident, or pushed them away without realizing what I was even doing.

And all of these bad habits fed in to each other like an endless loop. It was a slippery slope that steeply went down, and down, and down. The more isolated I became, the more I wanted to isolate even more. The shame and embarrassment for who I was becoming kept getting stronger. I was caught in a spiral.

I was getting close enough that I could see where the bottom of the barrel was. I call myself introverted, but I’m also the guy who, completely of his own volition, downloaded the Shoutcast Server software in September of 2000 and hosted an all-night live internet radio broadcast. Alone. I was livestreaming myself playing video games for the internet four years before Twitch.tv was even invented. Whenever it came time to read aloud in class, I was always one of the best, clearest students, never needing to sound out words or pause for anything. Nowadays I'd never say I was anything but an introvert, but deep down there’s also been a voice inside of me dying to get out, and at some point I woke up and realized I could be better. I just need less fear and more confidence.

The person you see writing this blog today is the result of finally starting to become aware of what I was doing to myself, and forcibly dragging myself back out in to the world, inch by inch. I don’t think it’s going very well, but at least I’m still making an effort. I fell apart in to many small pieces, and they’re taking a long time to reassemble. I finally graduated high school about five years ago. (I re-read that post a few months ago and started crying.) As you may pick up on from the differences between that post and this one, I’m still learning a lot about myself and what’s wrong with me. The picture is always becoming clearer by the day.

But knowing the problem means you can find the solution, right? That’s what you’re doing, too. It’s a slow process, but I continue the fight to heal the damage I’ve done to myself.

Anyway, sorry for getting so randomly heavy and spilling my guts out like this. I appreciate people looking out for me like this. And who knows, maybe I am on the spectrum after all. Just because I have my own theories doesn't mean they're necessarily right.

#questions #heavy #personal #Anonymous #public therapy

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colorseeingchick · 3 years

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Hello, colorseeingchick, I hope you’re having a nice day, and congrats on reaching 200 followers! I wanted to say I really like your Kuroko no Basket posts. I was recently looking for some small fanfics of Kuroko no Basket and I am glad I’ve found yours. I am also looking forward to reading your “Oh! Baby Series” of Tsukishima.

For the 200 Follower event, I would like to request a Kuroko no Basket matchup. I’d prefer to be matched with a male and my pronouns are she/her. I am currently 16 years old, I have brown skin and dark brown eyes. My hair is a dark brown color(almost black), very curly, and it reaches toward my mid-back. I’m 5’2” in height and I am an Aquarius(For Midorima).

I usually like to watch anime and read in my free time. I really love chocolate and exercising. I dislike people that lie a lot, peanuts, peanut butter, pecans, almonds, avocados, and onions. My hobbies are writing, drawing, reading, watching tv, singing, and playing the Piano. I think I’m particularly talented at writing since everyone seems to like my writing very much and right now I’m practicing my creative writing skills.

Personality: When I first meet someone, I tend to be quiet and just observe everyone. If anyone comes up to me, I usually just introduce myself, and depending on who the person is I may strike up a conversation. If I don’t then the person that’s talking to me will usually make conversation and I will quietly listen. I would usually just nod or say things like (yea, right, mhm) to show that I am listening. If I begin to feel comfortable I will give my opinion on the subject or try to strike up my own topic. But once I get really comfortable with that person I can become very goofy. I’ll start randomly dancing in the hallways and make weird sounds when I’m with that person. And depending on the person this can either increase or decrease in weirdness. I’m very good at listening to people especially when it comes to a person talking about their passions. My friends and family tend to laugh at a few things I say. They’re never really jokes there just situations I’ve been in and Apparently, they’re funny. I don’t tend to touch people, the most I really do regularly is either is put my hand/elbow on the person’s shoulder(Doesn’t matter if they’re tall or short) or begin poking them in odd places.

Negative Things: If someone is sad or insecure about something, I don’t know how to react, I usually just stare at them while they cry to themselves. I would not suggest that any of my friends come to me for emotional support. Unless they just want someone to listen to them. I don’t know how to take compliments. Once someone compliments me I usually just stare at the person or say thank you very slowly.

Additional: Since me and my friends were in chorus, we would usually just begin singing our chorus songs very loudly. It didn’t matter where we were, we would just begin singing. There was a time where my friend called me super sweet because I was checking up on them during the pandemic. My friends also said I give the best presents and truthfully I struggle trying to find presents. I want to give my friends something they can use or they really like. For example, I gave my friend a drawing notebook and some art supplies since they like to do art. I’ve been told that I have a mean resting face and that I act more mature for my age. I also asked my friends to describe me and they said, “Beautifully, Creative, Loving, Silly, Writer, Fashionable, Pretty, Innocent, and Nice Hairstyles.”

I swear I don’t where they’re getting these nice compliments. Hopefully, this is not too long.

Hello noodleman!!!! This was perfect do not worry. They compliment you because you're amazing haha. I always see you in my notifications and it makes me so happy :) I’m very excited to do both your matchups! For KNB, I’ve matched you with…

Akashi Seijuro!

We all know Akashi is a powerful man who’s been through a lot. As a girlfriend, you would be the one to both compliment his power and balance out his emotional state, even if you don’t intend to. And that would be the source of the beauty of your relationship with him.

You were a student at Rakuzan who would mind her own business. Akashi was in your class (ranking at the top) for the new school year, and you two sat next to each other. Akashi (this is the OG Akashi- the nice one) would introduce himself to you, and you would do the same. You observed Akashi quietly. The way he was so put together. His calm demeanor. His pretty eyes and how they were keenly watching everything. You didn’t realize he was observing you as well. While you both were just normal acquaintances at that point, things were about to change.

One day, you heard Akashi talking about basketball next to you. You could hear how passionate he was about it from the way he talked. The person he was talking to walked away, but you couldn’t help but ask him about basketball. Watching him talk that way was so enticing.

He looked at you for a second before smiling kindly and asking, “would you like to learn about basketball?” From there, you two would have a very engaged conversation with Akashi fanboying in a way that was as classy as fanboying could get, while you were listening attentively. You had to leave for the end of the day, but you left with a smiling Akashi out the door of the classroom.

The next major interaction between you two happened a few days later. You were doodling in your notebook when you heard him speak. “You’re very talented at drawing.”

You smiled awkwardly at the compliment, unsure of how to respond, so you just looked at him. He didn’t mind though. He just smiled back. “If you draw again, I’d like to see.” He then left soon after.

While you didn’t doodle again, you decided that maybe you were comfortable around Akashi, more than you thought you were.

A major shift in your dynamic happened one day when you were writing down intensely into a journal, stopping only when your hand hurt, taking time to think about your next words when you felt a light tap on your arm.

“Excuse me, if you don’t mind me asking, what are you writing?” He genuinely looked interested, which caught you by surprise.

And so you explained the short story you were writing. Akashi asked questions about the characters, the plot, where you got the idea from- all sorts of things. You both didn’t realize everyone else had already emptied out. “If you would like to share your story with me sometime, I would love to read it. And if you’d like to come by and watch my basketball team play, let me know.”

He was surprisingly easy to talk to. And that was the point where you both got closer. As you got closer, talking and learning more about each other, you both started to fall bit by bit. You both had a long list of hobbies and talents, much of which overlapped. Akashi was mesmerized by your singing, though he knew you wouldn’t like to hear the compliment if he gave it to you. Instead, he just asked you to always sing and gave you his full attention when you did. It went without say he loved your writing. He was a talented musician himself, and you found his game pretty entertaining- the way he dominated on the court.

He asked you out after Rakuzan had taken a big victory before the winter cup. You’d come to watch the game.

“Will you celebrate with me?” He asked you.

“With your team?”

“No, actually.” He’d smile at you and step closer, but had not invaded your personal space. “I’d like to actually get some time with you, on a date.”

He was pleased you said yes. The date went well. He’d learned you were mature, which is what he was looking for in a partner. He already knew you were talented and a good listener. It wasn’t long before he asked you to be his girlfriend officially.

Your dynamic with Akashi was well tailored. Being the captain of Rakuzan, he had an image to maintain- one of power. And having a girlfriend who he knew to be intimidating as well (your resting face was intense) was a fitting situation. He knew you observed and listened well, which is why he could trust that you would be thoughtful- something that was also very important to him. You also cared for efficiency and purpose. But what he didn’t realize he needed so badly was your goofiness. After you two had gotten as close as you were, he learned how funny your stories were and saw you in your most comfortable states. He loved your fun goofy side. It helped him live a little, too. He enjoyed elbowing you back when you did it to him (it was the most innocent playful thing he’d done). It didn’t bother Akashi all that much that you didn’t know how to deal with other people being emotional. He wasn’t one to show negative emotions all that much and didn’t project that expectation onto you, which made it a bit easier. He knew that if he needed to talk it out and have someone listen, he could always go to you.

Overall you and Akashi managed to balance out on a lot of your ideologies, world views, hobbies, and life practices. While some were the same, others were different- but in a complimentary way. It’s quite a beautiful dynamic, really.

~~~

Ahhh I really hope you like it! Lemme know what you think hehe. I'm excited to do your MHA one too!

#knb #knb matchup #csc hits 200 #colorseeingchick milestone

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yanderecandystore · 4 years

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Yandere Teachers with a darling hiding a big secret. They can read minds and detest yanderes

You two had some pretty similar requests, and because I think I can't add much to each request alone, I think that putting both together will help me create something a little longer, ya know?

I'm really sorry for taking so long. I'm not feeling well and I'm currently visiting my boyfriend. I hope this headcanon is amazing anyway :3!

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Mind Reader [Yandere!Teacher ocs x Lab Experiment!Reader - Headcanons]:

One of many lab subjects of Bright Vision Corporation. Probably one of the most interesting cases, as you didn't really start as an experiment like the many unfortunate souls walking around that place.

You were sended here for your odd condition, that no doctor seemed to have a good explanation for. Ever since you were a little baby, you not only looked pretty different from all children or even any human at all, you were able to read minds.

You were found in an alley, abandoned of course, after all, what crazy person would bring a screaming baby monster inside their house?

No dear, no one would. That's why the corporation found you first, and brought you to be studied.

It wasn't too easy to read minds like that, especially when you were younger, thoughts would always overlap with each other, especially if someone was talking while thinking, or was thinking in a different language.

Did ya know people speak to themselves in different languages sometimes? It's so bizarre, but probably not the craziest thing you ever heard.

Sometimes you saw amazing people that you know could never hurt a fly, think about the most morally questionable things.

Oh, and those intrusive thoughts…. People can be really interesting… But can ya really blame humans? I mean, yeah, we all have those thoughts, no matter who or what we are.

You can easily mix with any humans, when you were younger your monster aspects were way more visible. Today you only have a small patch of rough skin that almost imitates scales in random areas, and a little horn that has never fully developed.

It's so small, it hides on your hair.

They have told you they would find your family, that eventually, you would be reunited with people like you… But even when they're aware of supernatural beings walking around the town, they haven't found your family at all, or even monsters even close to you.

They have learned how to keep their minds from being constantly read by you, and you have started to learn how to ignore certain thoughts, but even with so much care, you still found out about the lies that they have told you.

Or rather, the promise they can't ever hold up to.

They have promised that they would reunite you with your family, that you would be able to enjoy a normal life out there. You remember hearing them thinking about their plans on the weekends and it all sounds so fun and different from the gray walls inside the facility.

You escaped the facility around night time, after they had checked every subject before locking the whole thing, you almost didn't make it, but the worst part comes when you're suddenly overwhelmed by voices and thoughts all around you.

Your first experience with the outside world after such a long time, is honestly pretty horrendous. The city is way too noisy from what you thought it was.

Even if you really try, you can't ignore some much noise. Your perfect escape soon turns out to be a failure, as you feel too overwhelmed and in a matter of seconds, you drop unconscious.

→ Madeline Allen:

Madeline would probably see you walking around town while looking extremely overwhelmed by everything and everyone around you. Poor thing.

Wait, is that… A patient's vest? Did you just get out of a hospital? Who is taking care of you?

Well, clearly they're not doing a good job at assisting you.

Maybe she shouldn't be so nosy in everyone's business- Oh my God, you're dead!

I mean, sorry, not dead, she just got really scared when you fell unconscious. As she is a momma at heart, of course she'll run straight in your direction to see if you're okay.

Oh God, what can she do? The next hospital isn't really that close to you two. But what else would she do? Take a total stranger to her home, just because is the nearest option and is night time already?

No one seems to be really caring or wanting to help, thinking as if she already has everything under control. And no, she totally doesn't.

Can you guess what was the option that she picked? It was literally the worst one.

Bringing you home not only would get her in trouble but you would probably be mad at her for not taking you to a hospital, but she just- Freaked out, okay?

Yes, we bring people without their consent to our houses.

Madeline is absolutely nervous and is panicking at each second you're still unconscious. She could have brought an patient that had just gotten out of an asylum, or a patient that got out of the hospital without any company, or literally anything!

I like to imagine that in a situation like this, both of you could get in massive trouble if either of you ever get caught. I mean, she brought you to her home without your permission and without knowing anything about you, and you're part of a government research to locate and understand supernatural phenomenons.

Maybe you two can come into an agreement. She doesn't mind letting you in her house and letting you leave there, but she also wants to know more about you. You thank her for letting you stay, you promise her to get out as soon as you find out more about who you are and what you are.

I mean, knowing monsters are real scares her to no end, she doesn't like the sound of something crawling out of her bed at night. But you're so… Nice! 'You're not a toothy scary monster! You're honestly pretty cute.'

Oh, you have never really heard that, did you? Even by hearing someone think about you this way can be so nice.

Maybe she isn't aware of what you can do just yet, but she can tell that you're… odd.

' What a cute little horn, and those scales, they seem almost as hard as steel!' She is fascinated by them.

Madeline's thoughts are always positive and always complimenting you. You won't tell her that you know what she is thinking though, as you're afraid your relationship would start to get awkward or you stop being friends.

She treats you so well, and helps you understand more about the human world outside of the lab. She'll try her best to help you find out more about your past, especially of you being her along with ya, she is really curious about you.

And also because you may get lost and taken away if she isn't with ya. You probably would need some help either way since you don't even know where to start.

Weeks have passed and you probably still have no idea of where you should go. You didn't find any clues of where to find your family. Everything started to get a little off between you two.

Madeline is a sweetheart, but… You started to feel weird around her. Her thoughts weren't more of encouragement, but rather glee from the fact you weren't finding anything about other monsters.

She thinks that it is wrong of her to wish ill towards you, but she really wishes you don't find a need to get out of the house anymore. She thinks you're safer this way.

You thank her for her kindness every day but this is too much! You can't live with her forever.

Day by day, her thoughts are starting to sound so… Twisted. You need to get away from this place.

You were starting to feel sick at how her thoughts started to sound obsessive, until one day, you couldn't help pretending you weren't listening anymore.

'What would they like to eat today? Maybe I cook something special. They have been behaving so well lately.'

"- I don't want to eat anything that comes from you. I'm not your pet that needs to behave!"

→ Matthew Robinson:

You didn't have anywhere to go, the amount of thoughts invading your mind, and the fact that some many people were around you was starting to make you feel like a deer in headlights.

You don't remember exactly how, but while trying to get away from the general crowd you ended up falling inside someone else's backyard. That someone else being him of course.

It's oddly not the first time someone randomly popped up in his backyard, but it's not exactly something he expected to happen that night. Come on, he had a bad day already, what else can happen?

Oh yeah, a hospital patient unconscious around the garden, that's kinda nice isn't it?

Oh dear… You're lost aren't you? Now, he normally is a really logical person, even if you look hurt and probably really cold, he shouldn't think with his heart but rather his head.

So he is bringing you inside. Yeah, that's totally the most normal conclusion when finding a stranger unconscious in your home. Is totally normal.

He tries to make you comfortable while seeing if he can call someone to take you back to the hospital you came from. Maybe you came from the nearest hospital, or maybe the police could bring you back to your home.

Until then he should probably take care of you… Oh, wait a minute. This doesn't seem like wounds. It's just skin, a really rough skin.

You wake up in an instant, probably from hearing his constant worries. On the outside, he is a really calm and collected man, on the inside he is panicking as he doesn't know what to do.

You ask him where you are and who he is, and when the thought of calling the police crosses his mind you stop him in his tracks and tell him, beg him to let you stay at his home until you can find out who and what you are.

' Well, this probably isn't going to end well… At least I hope you find out what you're looking for.'

His mind is filled with somewhat hopeful thoughts, despite how bonkers he thinks the situation is.

You didn't tell him, in fear of him not accepting your condition. After all, it's kinda a bit of an invasion of privacy. Matthew treats you well enough, he teaches you what you don't know about society and let's you do your research in the condition of you being in his company.

It's such an odd situation, you gotta give him some credit for being so curious about you and your background. He asks you if werewolves exist too, maybe the stories his mother told him were true.

But of course, you don't really know what an werewolf is, as the corporation has never found one to do their research. Matthew ends up telling you about all the possible monsters that you could find out there.

He is really neutral about it, but every little new detail you hear is amazing! It seems like there are so many people like you out there.

Weeks have passed and you probably still have no idea of where you should go. You didn't find any clues of where to find your family. Everything started to get a little off between you two.

Whenever you're out looking for clues, and don't find anything useful, Matthew decides you two should take a break right there and go home. You two started to spend less and less time on your search.

Matthew thinks that, maybe, staying with him isn't so bad. And you agree, it isn't! But you can't live with him forever!

Day by day, his thoughts are starting to sound so… Twisted. You need to get away from this place.

You were starting to feel sick at how her thoughts started to sound obsessive, until one day, you couldn't help pretending you weren't listening anymore.

' I wonder if they want to wear new clothes. Mine probably aren't that comfortable anyway. I bet they look amazing in that outfit I saw today.'

"- I- I don't want to wear that! That just… That's not me! You can't force me to put that on!"

Both reactions to learning about your secret would be to be horrified. Have you… Heard every single one of their thoughts? Every single one? The ones they have at work, the ones they have when they come home and see you, the ones they have before bed??

Oh dear, oh dear, their shock would be so powerful that you could literally run out of the house right there at that moment.

But even if you escape, they'll guarantee that they'll find you soon enough. They weren't careful enough, they need to bring you back home.

It's not safe out there.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

#yandere #yandere oc #yandere x reader #sheep's stuff #yandere teacher #yandere teacher x reader #yandere teacher x mind reader #special delivery headcanons #special delivery request #yandere oc headcanons #yandere headcanon

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painted-crow · 3 years

Text

Submission Time #9

Hi, Paint! Thank you so much for letting your inbox available and taking time out of your day to read this <3 I’ll try my best to make it as short as possible, but I do tend to talk too much, so I’m sorry if this turns out a bit long. Also, sorry about my English hehe.

No way, this is really clear and well-written! You've made things easy for me here ^^

Well, guess I’ll start with what I do know sorting wise! I’m a Snake Primary with a Lion model and one thing I’m very aware of about my secondary is a Bird model that I use for basically everything lol. I think my actual secondary burned sometime around my teens and I’ve been living in this model ever since. I like it, it’s very fun and incredibly useful, but doesn’t really feel like me, you know? Getting things done can end up a bit frustrating at times, especially when I’m overthinking everything and making some half-assed planning I'll most likely end up throwing away at some point.

Okay, so leaning towards one of the Improvisational secondaries. Cool :)

When looking at other secondaries tho, I relate to some aspects of them, but not the core thing about them, if it makes any sense. I mean, I understand that as complex humans we won't relate to our sortings 100% all the time, but it seems like the key characteristic is always missing.

Like Lion, for example. I’ve been told I can give some pretty inspirational speeches and a few times after project presentations classmates told me I should probably get into theater or become a coach lmao. I’ve always been a bit of an improviser, too? I don’t tend to think much before presentations, usually there's just a guideline and then I come up with all the nice words on the spot. I seem to be able to do and learn things rather intuitively too, like getting high scores on essays about books I didn’t read or on tests I barely studied for, if at all. And still have no idea how I did that...

Almost certainly an Improvisational secondary, then. Not sure which. Either that or you have two models happening.

But the actual Lion thing, the need for integrity and being myself at all times? I don’t have it. That "inspirational" bit people mention is probably more related to me being rather good with words and voice intonation, it doesn’t necessarily come from a place of genuineness. It does feel more like a performance, I'm actively trying to be entertaining and catch people's attention while explaining the subject. Guess I also prefer to take more indirect approaches to solve problems, rather than charging.

So it sounds like Lion is less of a thing for you. Let's think about Snake instead.

As for Badger, I think there’s at least some performance going on. The thing about getting unprompted confessions and having people randomly asking for favors? Happens pretty often. I consider myself more fluid too, and I relate more to the Badger description of “mirroring” than the Snake thing of becoming someone that’s “charming” for a certain person. Especially because social cues aren’t exactly my forte haha. So it’s easier to go along with and reciprocate whatever vibe the person is giving off. I’m definitely not a community builder tho. Relying on people makes me anxious and I generally feel more comfortable with smaller groups. I would say I'm a caretaker, but that's it.

I don't think Snakes would have a hard time mirroring if they wanted to. A Snake who wants to give off chill vibes can (consciously or subconsciously) just decide to do the Badger mirror thing. And if you do that a lot, then yes, people are going to feel safe around you and you get the random confessions thing.

That's not to say you don't have any Badger, though.

The hardworking and showing up part are definitely tools I’ve used before and it’s what helped me get hired for jobs more than once now. Work ethic is important, but I guess I focus too much on the end results and “work smarter, not harder” is not a philosophy I tend to go against. As long as I can still be efficient and provide good results, I don’t mind taking shortcuts. In fact, it would feel a little selfish to me to keep up a slower, less updated method if I can be more productive and finish things faster by trying something different (really hope I'm not offending anyone by saying this, it's just a personal view).

"Tools" is the word you use, and I know you said you're thinking your secondary is Burned, but it's interesting how neutrally you talk about this. You don't seem emotionally invested in Badger, either as part of your identity or with those complex mixed feelings Burned Houses often have.

Maybe you use Badger sometimes as a performance, but from the sound of it, it doesn't feel like it's yours.

Finally, Snake. The parts where Badgers and Snakes overlap are definitely the ones I relate to the most. But, like Snakes, I don’t need to believe what I’m saying to make it work. I only have to believe I’m being convincing enough haha. The less I think about it, the better.

Hmm. I was already leaning towards Snake for you, but I wonder if "the less I think about it, the better" isn't a leftover habit you have from pushing Snake aside to use Bird. I'm probably reading too much into this.

When I was younger I used to take some pride in being a pretty good "“liar"”, but I don’t know why I started feeling like people can see right through me? That they’ll think I’m always faking everything and can’t be trusted.

Ooh, imposter syndrome. Fun.

So, you used to take pride in this, but you started feeling like you weren't good at using Snake? And you're thinking your old secondary might be Burned.

Anxiety™ definitely doesn’t help with that, however I started wondering if part of it comes from having a very, *very* loud Lion secondary mom and she always expected our relationship to be open and honest. I’m glad I can be like that with her, I even agree that when the matter is important enough, you should be honest and communicate with your loved ones.

So there's a family/community expectation that conflicts with your using Snake...

But when being so open in general isn’t in my nature and I have to force myself to be a little more like her…. Maybe I internalized that being indirect and reserved is inherently bad and I feel guilty when that’s precisely my first instinct.

So, Lion REALLY isn't your thing. I'm very much leaning towards Snake for you.

But as I said, I’m not a people charmer. More like a negotiator, maybe. And reading some Snake secondary statements, it does come across as a little… “extreme” to me. Like having multiple accounts with personas that don’t overlap? I have three atm, with a lot of overlapping, and it already feels overwhelming lmao.

There isn't a set way to use the secondaries. Snake in particular is very adaptable and it's definitely up to you how you use it. The specifics of how other Snakes use their secondary aren't a requirement for you to be one.

"Negotiator" absolutely is a form Snake can have, and if you can identify yourself with a fluid, reactive word like that, then that's a hopeful sign that you're un-Burning.

And the world better watch out when you do... A Snake with a strong Bird model? Hell yes, that's a combination :D

I wrote this trying to sort myself more than anything, but at the end of the day, guess I’m still a bit lost. If I had to pick one… Maybe I’m closer to being a Badger…. A very impatient one, if that's possible.

Aww, hon, your mom just doesn't realize how awesome Snakes can be.

I think you're slowly recovering your Snake, but you're only letting yourself adapt in ways that look Badger, because Badger is safe and socially acceptable. Especially to your family... you said you're a Snake primary and if your mom is Important to you in a loyalties way, you might find that changes how you treat your Houses.

Anyways, I was curious to know what your considerations would be! Once again, thank you so much for taking the time to read all of this mess and commenting on it. Hope you stay safe and have a great week!

This was very articulate and not a mess at all ^^ hope this helps!

-Paint

#sortinghatchats #shc secondaries #ravenclaw secondary model #burned slytherin secondary #shc burned houses #submissions #paint speaks #q #submission

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gerlat-apreciation · 4 years

Text

Vampiric Protectors Part 2

Geralt wakes up to a hideously mangled monster, intestines thrown about like streamers in a party, and a heart resting by his foot. While deep claw marks were buried in the wall ranging from light and barely there to deep and attention seeking, rubble and blood flooding about every sense he had.

Trying to remember what the strange figure who seemed to dance with the shadows itself even remotely looked like, he was rewarded with a terrible headache and a newly throbbing skull. Suddenly he seemed to do something right looking at the walls and the mangled corpse because he remembered a figure who looked suspiciously like his vampiric friend but much healthier. He thought of how shitty his friend looked while working to find Dettlaff.

The figure was kneeling over him, hand tightly wrapped around his thigh and features more human than when he leaped from the wall randomly, like an asshole. Who leaps from walls?

Saving that memory for later, Geralt returned to what the hell happened when he passed out. He really needed to pay better attention to things.

———

Kneeling over him, hand tightly wrapped around his thigh, deep black eyes locking with cloudy gold, watching him frantically.

“Are you well?”

“Who..”

They both spoke at the same time,interrupting each other. While the quite obvious higher vampire was stunned from his voice, Geralt took the time to speak.

“M’ fine.. would be better if you gave me that gold potion, left pocket, smells like fish. And the clear one, smells like honeysuckle..” In an attempt to hurry the stranger along in helping him, he didn’t want to pass out again.

The vampire scrambled to do just that, keeping a hand on his bloody thigh, a cloth wrapped around his nose. Geralt thought it strange but didn’t have the energy to comment on it at the time. Suddenly a potion glass at his lips shook him out of his stupor, Geralt grunted in thanks before downing the potions with the aid of his now strange friend..? Friend.

“Is there anything else I can aid you with little wolf?” The vampire breathed through his mouth, nostrils flaring at the sour smell of his blood. His voice was pleasant, deep with an accent like Regis’, he liked Regis’ voice, and could listen to it for hours while he talked about whatever. Geralt apologized under his breath, Regis told him how rancid his potions were.

“Nah.. m good. White Honey’ll do the most of the work, thanks..” Geralt slurred a lazy concoction of speech to stop thinking about the old bat. The Witcher used the time the vampire was looking for his potions to take in the strangers features.. dark hair, mutton chops, and smelled like blood. Yep.. this was Regis. But younger. Fuck.

Geralt was proven correct soon after

“My name is Emiel Regis Rohlec Terzieff-Godefroy, as you can probably tell, I am a higher vampire of the Garasham tribe.” Regis pressed a bloody hand to his doublet clad chest, motioning to himself while probably staining it with his blood. “And you are?” His nailed hand moved towards the witcher, smooth and graceful. Geralt had always admired how fast and predatory vampires were, respected it as well. It was impressive, and plain damn attractive how strong they were.

Once the vampire raised a thin, regal brow he collected himself once more to reply.

“Geralt of Rivia, Witcher,” He said simply as Regis seemed to go through multiple stages of surprise, amazement, disbelief, and belief before he murmured a simple

“cool.”

Geralt started laughing as soon as Regis looked displeased with himself. Shoulders shaking and lips spreading in a closed smile as his throat tried to release the sound from itself, his gritty huffs soon had him groaning, holding the offending neck with one hand. The Witcher returned his gaze to the vampire, who had a wide grin on his face.

“Enjoying yourself little wolf?” He purred, voice a smooth roll, like the first wave of an ocean being overlapped by another, coming together to make a beautiful scene with calming sounds. Geralt grunted in reply, dragging himself back so he could lean against the wall.

“Watching me, vampire?” He hummed, casting the other a dry look, the other cringed. This was a dangerous change of subject given he had no idea how this Regis acted.

“Ah.. perhaps.. I found very quickly after seeing you that you casted my interest, you smell delightful.. I could just..” Regis’ teeth bare, and he starts to lean forward.

Geralt's heart kicks up from its slow beat, and he wraps a hand around his sword, as soon as Regis lunges at him. He pressed his eyes closed, tense as a siren after a horn blow.

His body registers the curved nose of Regis pressing his nose against his throat, and smelling.

“What the fuck Regis-“

It was Regis’ turn to laugh now, soft and kind, with an undercurrent of predatory dominance that sent sharp shivers down Geralt’s spine alongside the tame breaths against his exposed clavicle. He pulls away and Geralt finds himself missing the cool breaths.

“Ah.. this was fun, my dear. But I believe you need some rest, it’s required for humans to rejuvenate, is it not?” He tilts his head, black hair falling to the left as he cups his palm against Geralt’s cheek, thumb swiping against the underside of his eye, rubbing the scar gently.

“Aw fuck- don’t tell me you’re gonna-“

And then he was asleep.

——-

So that was what happened.. that headache was worth it, Geralt thought, grabbing his sword and standing, taking the time to sheathe it and grab the heart that was resting at his foot, it would make a good trophy, even if the zeugl he needed to kill wasn’t dead.

Knowing Regis it probably was dead, but he needed to make sure.

Pulling himself up into a platform that, by the smell of it, led him back into the sewers. To pass the time he checked his potion vials, making sure everything was well and in place. He double took when he saw the zeugl, it’s entire head resting over the hole where he fell. What the hell, Regis.

Geralt heaved a heavy sigh, and cut out a tooth from it, and made his way back to the village to receive his pay.

A few days have passed since then, and the Witcher had taken up residence inside a nearby inn, after completing two more contracts to pay for it and a good few meals. He hasn’t been interrupted by a certain drunkard vampire as of yet, but he was probably being watched. It didn’t bother him as much as he thought it would, it was comforting almost, that Regis would come in anytime he loses control of a situation or contract.

Currently, Geralt was reclined on a sofa, wrapped in various furs and reading a book in front of the fireplace with a platter of various cheeses and grapes at his side, along with a wonderful goblet of wine the inn owner imported from Toussaint. Witchers here were treated surprisingly well, and Geralt was soaking it in as much as he could, enjoying every moment and every ounce of respect he received for his profession. It was pleasant, that was for sure.

Suddenly, there was a crackle, one of pure power that had Geralt flinging himself over the side of the couch, cheese platter flying everywhere and wine probably staining the soft velvet cushions, and there was a smell that he finally processed as soon as he saw the teal magic forming into a person, snow and lemons. It was Ciri, his pup, his baby. Geralt instantly smiled and lowered his blade, when the projection of Ciri cleared

“You seem to be enjoying yourself” Ciri chuckled, looking around the room with interest.

“Ah.. just got back from a few contracts, it’s nice here.” He hummed, going back to the front of the couch to clean up the cheese that found itself implanted into the walls in front of it.

“I hope I didn’t give you too much of a fright?” Her voice sunk in embarrassment.

“Scared the fuck out of me.” Geralt said simply, prying some cheddar from a brick and plopping it onto his tongue.

“Ew, dad,” Ciri groaned, covering her eyes in disgust, Geralt started laughing.

“Hmm.. Cidaris cheddar.. hints of brick but that’s okay.. nice sharp flavor..cow was in good heath—-“

“Geralt! I didn’t come here for a visit” Ciri wheezed, bending over at the hip to try to regain herself. Once she did she continued “We need to find out what world you are in, so you can come home.”

Geralt sat back down, gathering the furs around himself once more, like a little nest, and hummed. “Already have a good idea, everything’s younger here, I met Regis earlier.. he was blood drunk. Or.. buzzed at least” The Witcher trailed off, turning his gaze to his book.

“You’re in the past?” Ciri tilted her head, and Geralt shrugged

“Dunno.. just found a younger Regis. He saved me from an Arachas.” The Witcher grabbed his book and opened it, turning the pages downward where he left off and returning his full attention to Ciri

Ciri, who now sat cross legged on the floor, nodded. “Just give us a bit longer, I’m still regaining energy, you should be able to come back soon, I’ll find you this time, okay?” His pup smiled at him, and for a moment he saw that little girl who forced them to do tea parties, and forever ruined the way he holds teacups. He could feel his pupils dilating with pure adoration at the other.

Geralt nodded “thanks” he said simply, as Ciri obviously noted the change in his pupils, considering she went wide eyed and cooed at him like a mother looking at a toddler, he cringed.

“Your eyes! Awe Geralt-“ she whined, laughing and shaking her head. Geralt fought back an embarrassed blush.

“Yeah yeah..”

“I love you, dad” Ciri said, firmly and in complete seriousness and suddenly, out of nowhere, Geralt felt an odd knot in his throat.

“Love you too, Ciri” he choked, looking at the other with glassy eyes. His head was filled with a mantra of don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry, and various curses.

Ciri’s smile grew, if it was possible, and she nodded, and as soon as that happened, it was over and Geralt was left staring at the spot she was at, clawing for composure.

A few minutes later his mutations took a firm hold of the offending emotions in a chokehold, and body slammed them back into the void. Where they should be. And Geralt is left feeling hollow. He returns to his book, just as the sound of glass breaking moves him into a shock.

Now, Geralt could tell you right now that this was a bad place to get suddenly attacked. He had no armor besides his white undershirt and his tight form fitting black pants. He wasn’t even wearing shoes , and he was tangled up in various furs to keep him warm. His sword was behind the couch, and he had nothing to defend himself with.

That is why, when he got grabbed by moving smoke like some bride to be on wedding day, he snarled, and raised the book above his head to attack. Not soon after it was pried out of his hand and into the fire.

“FUCK-“ Geralt yelled, attention momentarily diverted to the loss of knowledge to the hungry flames casting mischievous shadows across the room, but that seemed to be enough time for the vampire, inhumanly fast, to jump out the window.

On the third floor of a building.

To say Geralt was angry, was an understatement.

But there was only so much to do when you had tendrils of smoke blocking everything. It was all he saw, smelled, heard, and was able to touch. But he was gratefully able to feel the main issue, an arm wrapped under his knees, and another around his back, pressing him close to a thin chest. Though, the smoke didn’t seem to be just smoke, considering when he struggled (which he couldn’t do much of in the first place considering how strong his kidnapper was) the smoke seemed to press him still as well. Wrapping around him like a- he didn’t quite know how to describe it. But it did smell of anise, wormwood, basil, sage, and cinnamon.

What the fuck, Regis.

Before he knew it, Geralt was plunging through another window, thankfully this one was opened, and directly into a large bed. Regis, still in his smoke form, darted out the window as it slammed shut.

Geralt sat up, processing for a moment what the hell just happened. And then where he was now.

Where he was now seemed to be a very large room, about the size of the entire inn he was in, with a large oak door, with a steel door knob, latched firmly in place with what seemed to be a spell casted on it, if that was why his medallion shivered when he neared it. Close to the door was tapestries, hanging on each side, faded and worn with age. They depicted vampires drinking from humans under the moonlight, covered in blood and garlic and looking piss drunk.

By the tapestries, bookshelves lined the walls which were made of firm stone, filled to the point of overflowing with books and scrolls of varying size and weight. These seemed to be the main thing filling the wall on the left side, as the only other object there was a wardrobe to the direct left of the large bed. Inside it was various outfits, mostly silken robes but held the odd cotton shirt and pants there. All in wonderful condition, bordering on brand new. Geralt sighed and slammed it shut, seemed it was planned for him to stay awhile. He crossed to the right side of the room, and that was when he noticed the bed was about a step higher than the rest of the room, covered in silk blankets and furs, with two large curtains on each side of it, looking at the floor around it.

Regis seemed to be aiming to spoil him. How sweet. Thought the Witcher, sarcasm and annoyance boiling his blood and filling his mind.

Returning to exploring the right side of the room, there were more bookshelves, the large stained glass window depicting once again a vampire symbol, but this time it was the Garasham tribe symbol. It was quite well done, and was so large the moonlight lit it all the way to the other side of the room, across the bed, casting colors of blue, green, brown, and red everywhere. The window seemed to take up most of the wall, and was made of a thick glass, Geralt had no high hopes of breaking it. Around the large window, was two candle filled tables, nothing special.

To the right of the bed, against the wall that lays against its headboard, is a door that leads to a bathroom, a lot like the one he saw in Vizima when he met up with Emhyr.

Geralt groaned, and grabbed a random book, sitting on the bed, which was heavenly soft but he would never admit it aloud, while suddenly missing the weight of his swords as he wrapped himself up once more with the many furs covering it. He leaned against the pillows and headboard and got to reading, with only the candle and moonlight to light the letters.

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