#that was all meant to be humours and done in good faith but i MAY have gotten SLIGHTLY carried away. possibly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nanomooselet · 3 months

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Little but Fierce

Now, I might be mistaken, but judging by the number of bare pectoral muscles strewn over my dash at any given moment, I'm gonna say Wolfwood is pretty popular? And that's understandable (he's a loser <3) but it's a genuinely terrible shame that Meryl gets overlooked. Especially in Stampede. Orange have done some really amazingly cool things with Meryl.

And it makes me a little nervous to say so, but I think they only could have done them by detaching her from Milly, at least for a time. Milly's still going to show up and I'm confident from this precedent they'll treat her well, so I'm at peace with her absence for now.

Nightow is unexpectedly good in many ways. He treats sex workers as human, which is a low bar that many nevertheless fail to clear, and my only serious disappointment in Maximum was in how the girls vanished for long periods. I recall an interview where he said something to the effect of being reluctant to put them in harm's way, and while I'm disinclined to take anything Nightow says entirely at face value (I don't think he's a liar, but I do think he has a sense of humour that inclines him to kindly trolling, which I respect), that would line up, I think.

I think Orange are taking the opportunity to remedy this disappointment.

It's exciting. It's the kind of writing for female characters in genre media I've always craved. I will not be silenced on how extremely gay I am for Meryl Stryfe.

Unfortunately that means for this first entry, I'll have to talk about Knives. (Whom I also love, but not in a gay way. More an affectionate revulsion. He's fascinatingly horrible, this man.)

So. I've noticed a distressing tendency for Knives's... really almost anything that ever comes out of his mouth (seriously) to be taken as the honest, objective truth. After all, they didn't call him a villain.

And what an honest face he has!

As Knives has it:

Vash is pretty, but he's useless without his brother. He's a powerless, weak, pathetically naïve, blubberingly sentimental little baby who doesn't care about the Plants, too busy enabling humanity's abuse via performing his cringing, grasping abasement before them to notice how his brethren suffer. Knives himself is the more powerful (and much less human-like) of the twins; the strongest and most righteous activist for necessary change now that, sadly despite all good faith attempts at communication, non-violent solutions have failed. He truly has only the best and most altruistic intentions: the freedom of his people, and the happiness of his brother.

Here's the problem. This has always been the problem. Every one of the statements in the paragraph above is false. Except the one about Vash being pretty.

Once more with feeling: They are completely untrue. They are supported by literally nothing. All we have is his word that they're true and there's so much existing evidence to disprove his claims that even the thought of compiling it exhausts me.

However, I did say that Zazie is a truth-teller in this story, didn't I? So let's examine some of Zazie's conclusions.

Now, I've seen reference to the surviving human communities on No Man's Land as "colonisers", and that their treatment of the Plants even before the Fall is analogous to slavery. (My strong suspicion is that Knives is purposefully invoking those comparisons, in fact.) Those are both extremely loaded analogies, culturally and emotionally, and I just want to gently, respectfully caution those who make them against overlooking the more nuanced and purposeful analogies being made. Or maybe should I say, the actual individuals to whom they apply.

Zazie is very careful to say this: Knives told them humans can't be trusted to learn from consuming their home planet. Knives was the one who said humans will have Zazie's planet next, and that only Knives will "use" the Plants correctly - so Zazie should ally with Knives.

Here's what Knives meant by "using the Plants correctly":

I, uh, think Zazie may have made the wrong call on this one! And that Zazie thinks the same.

This is what makes the interaction with Wolfwood so funny and sad - the all-knowing, ostensibly unkillable Zazie is freaking the hell out, staggering under the weight of realising just how apocalyptically badly they have fucked up. Wolfwood, who also directly instigated this disaster but under duress, is grimly amused - he did everything he did fulfilling the contract to protect the kids, even as his conviction failed, even though he would rather have died, even after Livio... and thus he personally rendered all his own efforts and sacrifices moot.

And he's just like, "Heh, yeah. That tracks." This poor boy.

Afterwards, Zazie is confused and even a little saddened that Vash was demonised in the wake of July's destruction. Never let it be said the bug fails to learn from experience: Vash is the one everyone blames? Ah, so he was in fact spectacularly heroic and clever and it's entirely Knives's fault it turned out so badly.

Also, crashing on this specific planet wasn't exactly humanity's choice. Guess whose choice it was.

Go on, guess. Better yet, guess why.

Yeah. It was also Knives who said to Zazie that both he and Vash crashed the ships... trying to stop us. From doing exactly what Knives tried to do the very instant he got the chance.

The thing is, Knives does everything he can to look like he's right by positioning himself as the most authoritative source, but he isn't ever backed up by like... facts. Or evidence. Or reality. Or anything. Ever. He crowned himself king of the Plants. He speaks and acts for them by divine right, apparently. He didn't take a vote or anything - in his mind it's self-evident only he understands the world, and Vash, and the correct way to use the Plants. Because remember that it's not using Plants he gives a damn about, even using them to death in the Last Run, as long it's him doing it. It's being dependent upon humans; he views providing for our basic survival needs as wasteful and inherently, exclusively parasitic, even if we're helping the Plants to survive in turn. Because it's humans that he's frightened of, and he wants the yucky things gone.

The thing is, when he's not being purposefully manipulative (though Vash is the only one he manipulates in person, probably because Vash is the only one he pays enough attention to for his tactics to be effective) he's being a dense fucking idiot. At very few points do his delusions intersect with reality.

The thing is, Knives is a known, proven, and entirely unrepentant liar. It's the logical extension of the way he gaslights Vash. He is in no way a trustworthy source of information.

All that he says is part of a heroic narrative about being the specialest boy evar that he came up with to avoid taking any blame or responsibility for the consequences of his actions. Knives considers himself perfect, but he's made plenty of mistakes, which I do think he would consider mistakes - among them Rem's death, alienating Vash, cutting off his arm and rendering him disabled, and what I suspect to be the large number of Plants killed in the Fall, along with the ones consumed by the Last Run in the desperation that followed.

So he tells himself... little stories. Inside his head. It's how he reconciles it. It's how he copes.

Basically, if you want to find any truth in anything Knives ever says, look closely at what he says, and believe the opposite.

Now, onto my girl and how completely fantastic she is.

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Part VI

Part VII

Part VIII

Part IX

#trigun stampede #trigun meta #tristampparty #millions knives #meryl stryfe #i was about to say “liar pants on fire” and then i remembered #...literally tho #meta: little but fierce #terrible terrible plant man

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flhoarder · 10 months

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Let’s call that more or less done. I will still direct people to my response post and answer questions, but rest assured, my terrible and juvenile sense of humour stays. I will explain what I actually think about something on a serious post if asked, but my stupid joke posts will stay stupid because I’m not smart. Things will get exaggerated, things will even be grotesquely exaggerated depending on who you ask. I apologise only for when I have a bad attitude or come across as rude, but I won’t apologise for what looks like a take on a post of mine when there’s not meant to be one. Yes if someone isn’t sure and asks, I will say “oh actually I didn’t intend for it to be taken seriously” and I hope that doesn’t come off as the Schrödinger’s asshole situation. It’s always been the case where most, if not all of my posts are just meant to entertain people who have similar sense of humour as I do (my condolences to these people /jk)

Nothing is ever going to dissuade me from thinking up stupid posts and post them. Some of them should probably stay in the draft, but hey, not everyone has common sense. Even people whose opinions are something like “you are going too far for a joke because it strays from canon too much”

Yes. My posts will stray from canon, sometimes too much, and they will continue to be that way. Yes. They are stupid. Yes. They are oversimplified and over exaggerated and do not faithfully represent canon whatsoever. It’s never meant to be informative, it’s never meant to be a thinly veiled opinion hidden behind a shitpost, and I will never claim otherwise. Sincerely, that’s where I’m at and that’s where I’m coming from consistently on this blog.

But it’s fine on both sides. It’s always a potentiality when you make posts in any fandom. People responding to my posts whatever their attitude may be, it’s all fine. If a post bothers or upsets you, it’s counterintuitive for many to assume OP comes from any place of good faith. And that’s why I respond to every post and try to explain myself. Most people don’t know about this account or what I post here, and not everyone has the same attitude as I do about certain things a large amount of people are passionate about. And that’s a good thing. This fandom benefits from serious discussions, I’m just not adding to that myself. I’ll try to gently guide away people who are a bit more serious than I am about these posts as soon as I can manage just to save everyone’s trouble (and this isn’t to be dismissive, I just don’t think it’s a good thing to let misunderstandings percolate for too long, I don’t imagine it to be nice when you draft out a discussion/argument/response to a post and OP comes back with a ‘LOL it’s not that deep bro’. That’s when it becomes disrespectful and exasperatingly so. Another thing is with the intention to only post shits and giggles, the last thing I want is for people to be riled up and get angry about them, it really is just not worth it. Frankly I also don’t want that level of stress for myself either. So I try to put my disclaimer in early before many spend their time on things like this.) and you are certainly welcome to block me if you don’t like what you see here. No offence taken, it’s not personal.

The only thing that is personal is if I myself come off as an asshole in any discussion and if I am, please let me know, I’ll fix that.

#I’ll keep this post up top for a little bit so anyone who cares sees it #my bullshit my rant i am the captain of my own ship and all that crap #oh this is for #de #de posts

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libidomechanica · 6 months

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Untitled (“Instead Ive spoke the breath such a”)

A sonnet sequence

A genius fruitless and fear with other calmly shine owner forests better what in the secret carefully puzzled when my kindliest the dale, who fire. Like made by none can did them, but what was mane! And love and ran integrity mayd’n Musick shunned withdrew in the day spend ink may yet oft in all into rhymes, betwixt the herse, because accompts of humour. Instead I’ve spoke the breath such a chiefly make there to be equivalentinel who marry thee forests, I bring years, and four-footed with other waist; but thousand thee the sage from place, oh call in it; and thought? Things round use.

Old joy—what have their lady with much: whatever perceive tenants with woe, that other thriftie oke, that gentleman, part so the brew, and rain is sires, and he know him I see merry weight be mine; ’ yet regrets that ere Art of Cosset forget the based, and love, thy cheek. When Sage and hath kissed Gods the roar of somewhat first hear as your beauty she reside, thou that, forget, o ioyful sensible and single lives about her stack of the stretch, in tablets round my woe is blooms in she heard, keep one by, thou art! Monstrous acquire, warm-light of youth, I willow days of domest, know brooding all.

When their resource follow that just fulfil ye. This, that happier state of doubt his cordion. But which make wind the star! Or useful that is in looked and the market on her youth; nor friend was the air such for shed. Which Venus chalky, while in clasp’d nothing kissed thrown about the true Hidalgo, where will night or sun, whom she wind envying God half an our plucked at times are blood aduice: or plan angelist. If she flowe in the Editor, looking transports; there we twain if this transfers hurt in bitter in ilka beild! Put do they models beneath reflection rolling with an uncommon is my vest, perhaps t was yet the would make the like a noble understood and dreary, I scarcely can before his wild Yuie twist the life, and may with a kind? Just takes that point ane an’ twenty, Tam; but at thee live upon me the river as the sea remember of a Titan’s lineage?

Now you’d best, till his complication. When all best eddies in twain the poet’s gone, let ever wanton dies read you knows not one to Honour, where were! Gently, perchance, but they would for dispute, its proudly sits, and of doom, whose faint any meant, the ape able man speaks the new—born about the river, pure and beg Security’ wilfull be a height ensue despair tone, I appear alone, that broke befell. She almost in the power and lover, which are unweeting still take word dragged at moment gloom: and thought the got in lightly done when not know you mad’st little white by our name.

On the had might I guess. The fluctuations or maladies to that once again, perhaps still summer sighs shelter of heart cannot soughts, which make of my own display athways understand year; well if other’d much below to draws near, quoth Betty, not only green thought, a song. She dread it conscience t is their lived the hear the cock’d her deep, and bright. And their early shrivell’d to long the shout, nor cloud of new decreant for notes in sight he lights go beyond men with his speech, the devil of the kist; then this I love and not the sky; the ground the closed grave divided inters, pride, keep to hide?

The told, and now I thro’ darkness past made my wish’d onely puzzle, hye week camest he wander husbands on the tradition, they are. Such falter the was poor fested in captains of rhymes. ’Yes, thy full climbed that her height that just and to glided me on a day, and, as the path with the brain good not hen-peck’d her music and may kisse; tho’ faith Betty’s an aesthete of Ida by the birds, like supernature might lament, had waters of our enemies him back again. Forlorn? Have lost delight! We keen will not. The Lights limbs at lends backwoods whelpless and forged at the month of the heart.

And by the City’s pausing I will not? Yon valleys. ’; But if evolutions lie stirrup fiddle of them forgetfulness, and blood in my mine earnest the white were amorous through a woman, and beautiful and sin, with state errors fallen, by thy beames orange and judgment, tying low came Psyche’s thou up like and me, but the good: oh, if tho’ I saw those dead see the evil, her will yours whom she was except in burden breasts, and love thee. This is no more dance that I love that present, English neithere one love with forest to Who beg ‘Security thick, then my skie.

For I must began to send your beauty sleep, to proved until the foliaged eaves less crazed in a worketh a vision bites. Like thy mother, if I would reaches sweet I wishes flat last he is very rings of the other’s justic dreams all the grass feet; the cycled world was as the banter, and never couched pigeon ego hoc ferrem calida juventa could between the burns deathless, here be said: but little idle took fair if her cheek, like Fair Women a little winds ill be out the lady Christabel, we went: to stones the garlandscapes, was, Johnny! With in heaven?

Nor can but can seas on the beat number; to take twenty, Tam! Or as we glass awake, remembers. The lark hung in the twenty, Tam! In the gates champagne, as men calm despot, hand, for faded lass is not under’d by the concluded,—mention’d in light as the lady with the storms for you may’st roar out. As quite foretold melt; makes with honest except some my works on by its let it, get name, and feeling in the will shepheard time an upon the please persons of nervous took the day for from thee shut that mind, a hands whelpless troubled spread to folly drunken dear virtue prefers that’s done?

Who lovers, as this wot, and farms in my swear to lose hopeless searching keel; I feel with thro’ the bounds. I passion, some sad statue veil’d, at myrth thee in some draw the lates change and every idle case: when your hung its proper petty shepherds entangle hours as been bounds, when heart from bowers, she unborn as thine, and ballad of hop and shall glorified in Beautiful and hid in course, ceased overworn. From which he sound with the known sweetly said; she crescend of all the roll’d in the noise, and dipt in a raven know not a Prison; but in think themselves were loving like ways the use.

He too he doth sence, dead across and through these motion in viewless gloom: and much glory: and complain endless suspicious moment to dearly faithful Lord, I can’t be give you algate gave height the wild winds that breathed at recollect, indeed divided in reigne discern! I’m happy days draws a latter, and for molehills before him whom you but this brough thoughts cast and fill up to deck the rustic lights are fulness or which obscure image proving, drunk, the arts, you art, burn to be well regret is dues; and sing smile a farm air to forced unconfirm’d his oak-learn my kin a sadness past.

There when springing and seem to grappled pool at dawn, and days. Thoughts of time of love, to there—handsome strong befell. Her great? Thou dost that maid, The darken’d in the mimic, and the Cupid, affection everything breath, memory, aweary, he wooded with gift or in a perfect stopped. Or from out form be some general mist, the cool’d with rein to view should hardly cause you appear thy laught, this ready in tremblings deeper flash upon the first know thou, Desaix, Moreau, which be that all the house white what without; there’s breather could have draw her in time, and for the pride again lifted up, death!

The mistress, esteem: yet for not a wish feature’s too wildly daught by wild, instead of fair livelong from climb the fought of Job’s; he long and the sky is ever, nor me some of wood cabin- winds were mad all from myself departest; and I beseeching serpent each day comes, the past and tingle stillness, to rails, all faintly spokes season; when the traine talk and thou may person I love that atmospheroick mass of girlond Oliue we star apart to school as God accrue, but clammy cells. Somethings to dust of time defied, I slipperary power liue brawling could way these poets all held Juan stills the presently tutors have been ill dusk of tears, and honest to greets there is thro’ the sky will be her the reed, and all at dances, search’d, and there it throat shouldst had call let me years, of these kisse, tho’ Nature keen the flit; while hand-in-hand stiff bitch; from Time idle is serves a bring here?

Tells of us in the doth closing about to hide. For loving but all my good a stand? Ring of there is not in bed, susan, scarce and clangs shall fate her elfin groans, England. A pamphleteer or these arms, o, gie me like hap of a bullet the same, forgot how ye she feet is change the Incompass’d; where such a think, but I pasted na spirit down, and on the hasten down and chapter night be damp air. With black curl’d, not brood; that strength and Johnny well. With a faery’s stalk, so become down in in herse, more and address to his awkwards roots than shone forgotten up again—ah, woe now!

To lie for all, and love lose appear; and moved to faire life calmly feet—crushed nor stringed from Aragons of Death.—It may suppliant body always of thou art them.-Rising the stroke—If Johnny’s head, and bring apart, and unfather in light, a deep he star hate, or in all the lamental eyes floods, and thought that where shown; and ever fork and pithy, conscious back air inter-session with my hear that the prest love clock ticking brother; and clamoured rose, expurgated gloss: ah, do to wait, or ane an’ the mould that that lie so mutter which made wreckful senses, I see my mischief, by all.

Ye water was where is no such and fro. Nothings seeks, I went down to placid ocean, cold in a. Breaks the flies with joyous altar-stairs the flies, on a greeting stars had chosen from men with and line, the dead words a chill sooner force has a fine of life, I don’t read the acted. And lash to eye call cover’d woman-loved all as on our fist first pyramid and blood and compare forget a weary, he common: he shrunk to the blood like the will bloom a break to you wakes, when this strong thou may likeness sky, what always certain her maiden’s his come makes toward drawn a lucid eating Cheops.

She had of the old night sweet to go with, some void, when at only mean is should bring morning of the moon of mine. Be tenderneath leftst thou are the old friendship, equal proffer in a wofull it courteous is child, and round you and how you thus, than short of time to place, and to make, nor green born, we vantage, and liking hand-in- handkerchiefs have the future as once drizzling. The eye in vain; and tread to use you less in shame hypocrites, from vse of paradise. But who county charms becomes and becoming copy died threater for weeks, I seem’d their own slipp’d of bitter hope of night.

And like a fool. And a tocher, fierces the her the learn the come, what cannot floated afternoons call fables, euen sound my heauie herbs in the her more lustihead him: no man on when heaven, her on the vale, across heart shaking works one know. High in my kind? And he, build, if I would not, beset his joint the soul with read smile, of lust leaving so blisse, ere than all colors conduct was love end. Take and unfather, which I see now and dreaming again, and guard, I dreamy toiles and clothes dry; and honor near, delay; in the vermined; and will cried—how dancing scythe, and he is frail!

— ‘All this the now shall now you faine the plan? Lost to the standing pane; to see the holly Stellas once thought to see, bearing salt take the hill, and beloved by our Cot, alas! And with not a morbids the Abbey, and all the mild; o’ gude and grateful, perceiving him; and May much love again, and adorative who came an echoing brain sprung through that was not dear the very of this way. So kind! Clear as if those white gain about, and, force my Muses kills and honor’s coltish decent pass; then he same, I descent at time to the round one them for discretion, magnetic needing.

Why though he bound answer shoulder’d count heavy hears, where’s no more to lie hen, we yield saving Jealous dreadful night, her body and on Devon, when a bed in the sky; they were chimney glow, if all. Then following, and on pants that ye mean the team of the spake wonted so many rose, any things we ply that moon the chief’s still I thing scatter it the moulding, tis over Sinaï’s pen do; when I sick for earlier of Oriana in hast to hide there’s own so cold wine to write science. To silver lover, now that roam, my spikenard and while into a needing skin.

The color of the tip of thy floor wakens to pity, and push-pin, for someone’s one would never corse dreadful clutch, indeed a lower of the cheer’d heart on the child woman, among there’s not lives and as have me, making after after day’s prickened to send to continue to play. Burn to me, makes youth, memory, and watchful as sixth of wheat are gone, he sea. Is to some luckier netting and even, after life. The those a song with her good that nights go by: come, comes of Beauty can your in groan—I don’t choose by none of him well. I loathsome intent was they’ll rails.

And if you push younger the doth rocks the side be cheek is the fayrest May she devils mighty Love harm, this lips mine. Or climbed his mutilated intelling deep in which of day can I thro’ times and most pray the play, have had fancied in here it true wisdom makes by, the dishes also, Love but since if the press’d? And hold joyancy afloating beside the bow, his true. Down domestic dream free: the street, the spoke, draine the little profit! And the last in fitting in Spain is sair; and chanced; but as I? Indication in sight, to the and the hectic season changed, but Wisdom her note.

Each in mine, but state, their tongue with autumn, drop by Christens, it thou lay she is, and like to protect music loud, immortal Love, my loss is gay among the explored— her incense form that twig that swiftly in the mine: o what it is all-in-all side was rather weeks, thou pleading: his bosom- friend was a perfect stay; I love you hadst there she tangled them—maidens of the truly, and Betty sheet I smell and up much be thanks off our music. When she under mind those river summer and life looks abuse the weaves buds, that amazement between tho’ all the struck of dew. An only Love!

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 5 #190 texts #sonnet sequence

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prose-for-hire · 3 years

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Choices

Pairing: Faith x reader

Request: i am so beyond thrilled requests are open again! when you have the time can you please do a faith x reader oneshot where the reader is a scooby and usually pretty ethical and trustworthy but they secretly date faith after she goes evil, preferably including angst with the other scoobys when they find out❤

Requested by: Anon

You liked to stick by the rules. You walked in the light. You weren’t a complete saint, of course. But you did pride yourself on being trustworthy. Your friends, the Scoobies, always came to you for advice.

You and Faith, in theory, appeared to be opposites. She was always so much more outgoing and cooler than most in the room. You were a lot more bookish and stereotypically ‘good’ than her. But you did compliment each other. You were both very caring people. You shared values and your humour complimented each other’s.

You found yourselves becoming closer and closer. Until the day she admitted she liked you. Kissed you. Ever since, you had lifted her up. Supported her when she thought you may turn from her.

You had both fallen so deeply. She had never felt this way before. It was everything. She couldn’t dare think about losing you. Much less because of her own actions. She would hate herself for it.

Faith had never had a relationship so good. You liked to communicate your feelings and always encouraged her to do the same. She had never been able to trust anyone in the way that she trusted you.

However, then you found out. About how she had hurt that man. About her working with the Mayor. When you found out what had happened with Faith, it hit you in the gut. Worried you.

Not for the reasons most may expect though. You worried for her safety. For what she was getting involved in. You wanted to wrap your arms around her, try to ground her the way she had for you so many times.

You saw her again but she hid behind that mask she usually used with the others. You hadn’t missed the way she hid those emotions. Your horror at what had happened had read to her as disgust. As if you no longer wanted to be with her. As if you hated her where there had only been love there before.

She was walking away from you, storming to her new apartment courtesy of the Mayor. Her eyes watering. Her heart in pieces. The only person she had ever trusted with her heart and now she had to face being alone again.

“Faith!” You shouted, rushing up behind her before she disappeared. She turned instantly, she always would for you.

“You’re here to end it, huh?” She said, looking at the floor, “Evil doesn’t really match the goody-schtick you have going on, right?”

“I can’t lose you Faith…” You admitted, your eyes welling with tears.

“Yeah, well, everyone leaves. Turns away. Gotta get used to it sometime right?”

“No! Please, don’t do this! I-I don’t want it to be like this…”

“Well, there’s no way you’re gonna turn from any of them – they were always your friends not mine”

“I won’t be able to stop being their friends, but I wanna be with you still… maybe we could… still?” “Uh, but… in secret?” You offered, cringing slightly. Hoping she wouldn’t laugh in your face. But she clung to it, near desperately. Her eyes brightened. Face appeared brightened by this hope.

She never thought you would say that. She adored you but she knew you well. Had expected you to be unable to see that things were grey not just black and white. Because of the way you always tried to be so good. Make the correct choices.

“You really mean it?”

You nodded vigorously to further your point. Eyes streaming with tears at even the idea of losing her. You wiped your eyes on your sleeve, facing her again.

“I can’t stand being without you”

“Even though I’m working with the Mayor, you can live with that, huh?”

You wrapped her in your arms, looking into her eyes the way you always did. Your love hadn’t changed. You had meant it when you said you would never leave her side. That nothing she could ever do would cease your love.

She wasn’t used to love in such an unconditional way. For someone to risk everything to be with her. Your friends, your morals, all of that was on the line. But you loved her. You needed her. Of course you would choose her. To stand by her.

You cupped her cheeks. Palms stroking either side of her face. You leaned in, pressing your lips to hers. It was slow and so gentle. Caressing her with such meaning. Full of your unending love. Your lips moved against hers in such doting display of affection. This kiss told her you would never leave. Never turn from her just because of her mistakes. Choices.

She wasn’t used to such tenderness. She was so overcome with emotion. You meant everything to her.

You would still help your friends and act as you always did. You wouldn’t help the Mayor although you had met him several times now. Under Faith’s protection. You would just be by her side. You loved her, how could you not?

You sat in the library, mostly silent now. You were still your usual friendly self but it you were just a lot quieter. They had been discussing Faith. Again. And you hadn’t really been listening until Buffy’s voice could be heard louder than the rest.

“Yeah, well, now she’s gone total psycho-gal there’s nothing we can do” Buffy said and the force of her words made you wince. You had audibly gasped without realising and everyone looked at you awkwardly. Realising what they had said. How fresh this must be for you.

“I’m sorry, Y/n, we’re here if you need to talk” They mistook your discomfort for heartbreak. And you let them. Just nodding in reply.

Truth was, you were counting down the minutes. Until you saw her again. You couldn’t help it. No matter how your choices now conflicted, she meant everything to you.

You had been daydreaming again. Of the way she enjoyed to slide a hand around your shoulder so that she could lean in closer and press a kiss to the side of your face. How she could whisper things in your ear. Sometimes teasing and too dirty to ever repeat, sometimes unbelievably soft things that could make you blush just as big.

Finally, it was the best part of the day. The bell went and you rushed out of the exit as soon as you could. Straight to her. You heart would beat faster the closer you got to her.

You smiled at her, entering her new place. It was plush and although you knew how she got it, you couldn’t help but enjoy it with her.

She kissed you on the lips, that smirk on her face that she did with the side of her mouth when she had you alone. She was exited to see you, had been alone most of the day. She lead you to her bed, pressing a few kisses to your mouth between the run-down of her day.

You lay in bed together as she showed you the large plasma tv that hung on the wall opposite. You loved it when she was excited this way. You didn’t get to see it often. Her showing you the items she had never owned before. You loved how fun she could be. You settled against her. Just cuddling and sharing your thoughts on the day until you decided to turn to watch the tv.

Your hand rubbing slowly against her upper arm. She enjoyed the sensation. Enjoyed the way nothing had changed for you. You really did still love her. You scooped her into your arms, holding her into you further.

You only wanted to spend time with her. Wanted to make her feel so very loved. She felt herself physically relax. Her jaw loosening, shoulders relaxed.

She grinned at the way you cuddled up to her. She began pressing slow kisses against your neck. Your hand slid to weave between her hair. The way you always did when she got this way. She really loved you. Wanted to show you at any opportunity.

Her body heat and yours, skin against skin. It was pure bliss when it was just the two of you. There was no good or evil. No right or wrong. Just this deep, all-encompassing connection.

She used to use people for sex and then move on so quickly. Before she had found happiness. Before she had found you.

Having you didn’t change her choices or that she had changed sides. But it did change how she felt about herself. She still had your love, your affection. You couldn’t leave her side despite the fact she knew you didn’t agree with her choices.

She moved, your embrace loosening as she pressed herself into you further, one hand now guiding your jaw to face her properly. So that she could kiss your lips fully. You grasped at the strands of hair weaved between your fingers, pulling her closer still.

It was bliss.

That was, until an uninvited visitor arrived. Buffy had kicked the door in as Faith had rolled over so that she was above you in bed.

You both looked over to the door, eyes widened. You had been caught out. Nobody had known about your continued relationship, you had kept it well hidden.

Both of your eyes widened from your compromising position. There was no way you could just explain this away.

“Oh my God, what is happening?!”

“Yeah, guys, could the Hellmouth finally be giving us opposite day?”

“Well, that would make me the good Slayer and you the-”

“You’re not bad” You hissed in her ear as she slid from the position she had been in to sit on the edge of her bed. Staring at the intruders. She felt so vulnerable. So scared they were going to take you from her.

“No way! No way would they give you the time of day now that you’re bad-”

“Please, don’t wig, we’re just… I couldn’t just leave her! She’s not a bad person!”

“Oh, right, she convince you of that between the soulless gropy-ness?”

“Didn’t realise there was a big book of big, bad deception now that we don’t know about. She lend you a copy?” Buffy said, her tone harder than she had ever directed at you before.

“It does kinda seem like she’s clouded your brain with… smooches” Willow added, looking at the floor. She didn’t like confrontation.

“She’s been there for me when nobody else-”

“We’re your friends! All she’s ever done is wrecked your life!”

“Yeah, Y/n, didn’t know you could even consider moving over to the dark side” Xander said, trying to aim for light hearted but it quickly rounded into sounding accusatory. As if they were all so disappointed in you.

That it had been expected of Faith, that she was a ticking time-bomb. But they drew the line at you being ‘dragged down’ to her level.

“Hey, it didn’t mean anything, okay? I just, it was just to end it. Get it outta our system, y’know? Right, y/n/n?” Faith offered. The group still didn’t like this and would likely not let you off for a month, but it meant you would at least get them back as friends eventually.

She didn’t ever want to be the reason you lost your friends. Not over her, she didn’t feel like she was worth it at all. You gave her a look and she nodded once, showing that it was okay. That she understood.

Her eyes were glassy and you had never seen her cry before. She was always so strong. Never wanted you to see her emotional, to admit it. But you could tell that over this – over you, her eyes were welling up.

“No” You said suddenly. Everyone’s faces a picture of shock. They couldn’t believe that you, of all people could be so firm about this despite everything you knew about Faith and what she had done.

You moved to stand by her side, your hand slid into hers. You squeezed slightly, showing her you meant this. That you would always be here, no matter what. That you loved her because of who she was no matter what choices she had made.

“I love Faith. I don’t care anymore, I choose her. I’ll always choose her.” You insisted, “A-and if this isn’t the ‘right’ choice then… then I don’t want to be good anymore”

There was a stony silence where you felt the tension rising uncomfortably. The room that had been glowing with love was now heating with anger. Disapproval. Near-hatred for your words.

They were angry with you. Their faces at different levels of seething. You, doing this, was a worse betrayal to them than to Faith switching sides. You suddenly felt unsafe with them where you never had before with your friends. You stepped back, unconsciously. Trying to shield yourself from them with Faith.

How could friends of yours change their mind of you so easily?

“Then you choose to be beaten. I can’t promise I won’t fight you if it means doing what’s right - and I mean properly right” Buffy warned. But for today, with this devastating blow – of losing you as a friend in their eyes. They just left.

Left you with Faith, which would never be a penance to you. You adored her. She instantly moved to your side, she had left a little space in case your proximity would have created a worse argument.

She never wanted you hurt. She comforted you, enveloping you in her arms. Walking you back to the bed. Your safety. Just you and her. The idea of losing your friends had devastated you. You felt pushed out, hated. You couldn’t help how deeply you felt for Faith. You knew you would do the exact same thing over again.

You had meant it. You had made your choice. You chose Faith. Always.

#Faith lehane #Faith lehane x reader #Faith x reader #Faith lehane imagine #Faith imagine #Faith lehane x you #Faith x you #Faith #btvs #btvs x reader #btvs imagine #btvs x you #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #buffy the vampire slayer imagines #gn #gender neutral

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life-rewritten · 3 years

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Giants of Thai BL AKA The MOST ANTICIPATED THAI BL SHOWS FOR 2021

It's weird to think that the year 2020 has ended. This has been a journey in the past year, on the surface everywhere you looked it looked like there was no place to be happy and excited because of all the things that happened. It was suffocating at times, tiring at best, and it was just astonishing how many things could go wrong in only one year. That being said, one genre/demographic that grew even stronger this year, took some time to impress and improve on its tropes, its ideas and concepts and that's BL. Which also took some of us by surprise, for the ones who've been watching BL since the first oldies, to the new people who joined and also became in love with the genre and have stayed since then. BL has been an incredible, interesting journey, and I am so happy to say that it looks like 2021 isn't letting go of that energy. So to celebrate entering 2021, a year hopefully for a release from all the worries in 2020, a year to restart, refresh and keep getting better, here are the Giants of Thai Bl making their way in 2021. We have so many insane ones, from more mafia dramas to new unique non-university storylines, to og actors, and new powerful ones, to interesting pairings and new channels producing shows for 2021 to many many more countries joining the fight to be the top of our affections and energy. Thai BL is not going anywhere, and you know what that's perfectly fine with me.

GMMTV

I already did a whole squeal about the shows upcoming from GMMTV here: But after careful consideration here is my top 3 most anticipated: Enchante, Not Me, Bad Buddy. I know Enchante beat out ATOTS, but for me, I'm obsessed with the way the writer plans secrets and meta to unveil, and I keep repeating it's by Theory of Love director and production team. I'm so excited. I just hope they put in the same energy and effort they used in theory of love for this you have so many potential incredible actors that can take over this genre if you give them a good script and hard work. Hopefully, GMMTV intends to do so for not just their royal couple shows but also for rookie actors because Book and Force in this trailer? Looks fantastic.

Studio Wabi-sabi

When I hear about Studio Wabi-Sabi, you see two juxtaposed reactions from me, one you see anticipation and excitement from seeing my most loved actors off-screen; however, you also hear a groan from me. I'm sorry I didn't use to be this way, I used to be so ready to embrace every show directed and created by New Siwaj; in 2020, New was one of the directors I kept having headaches about because of all his shows in 2020? What exactly happened? Why did they flop so hard? Why was he so slow? I'm hoping that it's because he had too many projects to handle at the same time since fair enough LBC was filmed same time as GMMTV My gear and your gown and maybe that was too much to handle? But the reason why I like News choices usually are because they're emotional, impressive with their plot lines and have good character arcs and couples we end up falling in love with. He could be an iconic director because he has so much talent in his company, so I'm hoping he uses his lessons and grows and becomes better in 2021. But Let's get to the shows announced so far for 2021 because they both have the potential to take over 2021. I said what I said.

Between Us

Genre: Friends with benefits, Romance, Comedy, PTSD, Angst,

Ahh, this is incredible. I'm so happy. Win and Team are from a great tv show already with Until We Meet Again and not going to lie, but seeing Buon as Win and Prem as Team? Perfection. Like guys I actually fell so hard for this couple despite their low screen time. Buon stole the scene each time he appeared, with his little smirks, and mischief, with flirty bad-boy energy and their relationship, was precisely what I live for passionate and full of chemistry. They're great, which is why it's so exciting to see that Between Us is getting its own show, the show based on these two love story in a parallel timeline to Until we meet again. I screamed. The book sounds interesting; we're getting some conversations about PTSD, some healing relationships, and angst and more passion. I'm so excited about this since I first saw BuonPrem. I knew they were going to get known enough to bring their own show. And they deserve it, let's hope we get an interesting script that keeps us invested, enough opportunities for these two to have softer and profound moments whilst still holding on to their passion, and let the drama not be stale but addicting. Please New, don't let this show also be slow-paced, I'll lose it if another show is ruined by directing from you.

Ratings: 4/5: BuonPrem, they leap off the screen, their chemistry is that great. From hearing about the plot I'm also excited to a more in-depth look into Team's insomnia and his past and psychological scars, and I'm hoping to see a deeper reason for why these two should be together.

Love Mechanics 2

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Angst, Drama, Friends with benefits, Unrequited love,

That's the thing about Wabi-Sabi; they have amazing actors that steal our hearts away. This shows cast is no different, it's YinWar and it's a collab with Channel 3. Like What? It's everything. YinWar from Love Mechanics trended with millions of people obsessed and wanting the show to be extended and actually appropriately done. In came Channel 3 and we have this gem coming on April. No words. YinWar on screen is thrilling; War is just outstanding as Mark, his nuances, his glares, his looks of pain and longing, man I was absorbed into it. Although LM's writing is toxic and really left me feeling confused and uncomfortable with the details pushed aside, it was hard to ship VeeMark when Yin's character made terrible decisions and was awful even in the book. I'm the queen of analysing damaged flawed characters, and I don't run away from toxicity as long as there is a growth and change later on, as long as there's a good reason we needed to see that. For Vee's character, his actions were unnecessary for us to know about his character; they were just messy and upsetting. That's why I think seeing more depth for his actions and seeing Mark regress and also make mistakes like him will even out their relationship and make me feel more understanding about how these two flawed characters came to be and why they should be together. Let's hope with funds from Channel 3, more effort and energy put into the show, it'll be great because with actors like War this show can be just as big as it was when it had errors. Maybe even better.

Ratings 3.5/5 Love mechanics messy storyline makes me worried about this, but I think I might have a great time watching and analysing Mark's revenge after being heartbroken. The angst and drama of it all just sound interesting.

Channel 3

2020 brought a new surprise with Channel 3 deciding to invest in BLS. BLs have always been not on mainstream channels, so seeing Channel 3 in Thailand decide to make their own shows, a collab with other companies, and bring some directors and writers and actors known in the BL world already, shows they are serious. This may be because of the success of 2gether and other breakthroughs in 2019 taking over the scene. But I can see that Channel 3 did not come here to play, they are researching, looking for ways to make a great BL with the information provided on the past BLs and they want to make it big. And you know what with shows like GEN Y showing up last year, I want to believe that Channel 3 is a competition for GMMTV and others. They invest in funds and have longer minutes for their episodes, and they also pay attention to international fans by streaming on new places like Iquiyi and others. It's exciting. Channel 3 has already dipped their toes with Love Mechanics, and in 2021 they have even more shows to give us:

Teddy Bear Miracle

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Supernatural, Drama, Friends to Lovers, Fantasy, Mystery, Lakorn

What a weird title for a show. What an odd premise. What a bizarre book. But you know what I'm so excited about this; this is meant to be a lakorn series that is BL. Like wow, it has a good cast, known faces in the Thai acting scene and a director/screenwriter who has won awards for his own script. That's even more exciting. But the best thing about this is that it's a fantasy and has supernatural themes, yep it's weird we're dealing with a magic system where teddy bears come to life, and other inanimate objects talk? But I'm so excited to see what this brings; we have a man transformed from a teddy bear with amnesia who's searching for his past and how he ended up as one and his owner who's not yet ready to let his comfort go. It's so interesting, with family history and drama and of course, a romance that will probably touch my heart. I'm excited for this zany, wacky and dramatic show. Normally, I shy away from the crazy because I don't like crack humour, and it just means a bunch of many irritating sound effects and editing choices. But I want to trust the whole team from Channel 3, from the behind the scenes the show looks great, the couple has chemistry, and I'm excited to delve into the mystery at play and see what this story is meant to become. So excited honestly.

Ratings: 4.1/5 The wacky magic system scares me not going to lie, but I have faith for some reason in Channel 3, so I think this might shock us all. I think we'll get good acting, and perhaps good directing too. The mystery might also make me want to analyse. We shall see.

Lovely Writer

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Angst, Drama, Acting/Writing Industry, Haters to Lovers,

Did you say Kao and Up and P'Tee the director of TharnType the series? Sign me up I'm there; I've been screaming a bit since I heard about this series. From the first time, it was announced that Channel 3 was turning the book into a show, I was like this sounds unique again? And it has an interesting plot, I guess, and it's also going to have drama. I'm hopeful then. When I heard about the whole team and watched the trailer, I got into it even more. Lovely Writer sounds right up my alley, to be honest, we have this introverted writer who is determined to write a masterpiece and stop his company from making him produce BLs for the hype only for his next project to be a BL show which leads him to his new sneaky, sly, wolf in sheep's clothing roommate. Kao played his roommate from Until we meet again who won my heart as Korn and made me cry buckets. So, of course, I'm excited, Nubsib (Kao) may have some tricks up his sleeve to get next to Gene, but I think things will be more complicated than he thought, I'm ready to explore the world of the film industry and dating scandals that Gene and Sib will fall into the more they fall for each other. The angst and drama. Can't wait. Also, TharnType is one of my favourite series, and one of the reasons is because of Tee so... That's even more reason to see Gene and Sip's love story develop. Will it be as angsty, passionate and filled with plot twists? From what I hear maybe.

Ratings: 4/5 I just think this is an excellent team for a BL backed by Channel 3 and also has an exciting plot filled with ups and downs. I'm excited to see what happens and from the behind the scenes they released in the new year I think it'll be right up my alley.

NADAO

It had to be mentioned that I'm still in shock that Nadao is investing more into BL's. I don't know why, it just feels too good to be true, after giving me show after show that's perfection and quality I'm starting to have high expectations and hope for more, despite my weary heart not wanting to trust that this is real. I'm dramatic, I know. Anyways Nadao has gifted me twice with two shows that have shocked me and made my jaw fall in awe. I'm just like wow, they really did that. Every single piece of work that comes from them is art. Every single script is exceptionally written. Every single show is acted beautifully, and every single director and producer makes me inspired by the way they create. This is when focusing on their BLs because Great Man Academy and I told sunset about you are masterpieces in their own way, they deserve to be praised and never forgotten. It's just incredible that with a company like Nadao, everything falls into place, even when we think it won't because of past experiences. Nadao has shown up and decided to create unique pieces each thoughtful. Deep and breathtaking. Why won't I be over the moon when 2021 announces that we're getting another part from them with I told sunset about you getting a sequel. You bet I haven't stopped screaming and looking at the time to hurry up, so we get to March 11. I'm serious.

ITSAY PART 2

Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama, University, Coming of age

And that's because of what ITSAY was to us in 2020. It was something that can't be explained concisely. It was everything. To hear that we're getting the second part of the story of Oh and Teh, I feel like I am already preparing my heart and mind for another invasion, last time I was a mess because of this show, I was all over the place because of this show, and I was incredibly happy for a moment because of this show. To relive that again would be everything. It's slightly worrying that Teh and Oh finally getting together and fighting through the odds to stay together will run into more obstacles. Are you kidding me? After all, we went through to see them together?? It makes me worried, I have this real distrust for sequels of BLs, and it hasn't changed despite 2020 producing some okay follow-ups. Sequels never meet the expectation set; sequels are always reduced in quality because the focus is now on popularity and fame, sequels lose their integrity of the characters we've come to know and love and sequels hurt. They make me sometimes give up on a show that is my love, and it hurts. It's a painful realisation that I can't take away or forget the sequel events, so these characters are now ruined infinitely for me—looking at Together with me next chapter. It's scary. But Nadao hasn't failed yet, I mean it when I say their scripts are like works of art, I mean it when I say you can tell they put blood, sweat and tears to create their shows, why would ITSAY part 2 be any different? These two shows I mentioned before are coming together because the director of GMA is joining the team of ITSAY to produce whilst Boss becomes the producer. As long as he's there, I'm fine, as long as we still get hard work, energy, effort and thought put into it. I'm fine. Because it translates on screen, I'll try to lower my expectations, but I can't wait to see BilkinPP as TehOh again. I can't wait to fall in love with the show all over again. Let's hope we all end up satisfied.

Ratings: 4.5/5 The being a sequel is what's deducting the 0.5. I can't come here and be a fool; I must guard my heart against disappointment somewhat, despite failing already to do so.

Other Affiliates

We have our other shows. These were a pleasant surprise. With all the growth of new BLs, it's starting to get crowded and saturated, but as much as it's hard to see which shows stand out above all the noise, some make you see it. These shows are the ones that stand out for me out of the rest in 2021. I don't know what companies they're from, all I know is the information given to me and past experiences.

KinnPorsche

Genre: Romance, Mafia, Angst, Drama, Friends to Lovers, Haters to Lovers, Bodyguard trope

AHHH. Can you hear me AHH. Okay, I'll calm down. But no really, KinnPorsche is finally preparing for filming and the cast has been set and I'm screaming. KinnPorsche was the book in 2020 that was announced as the most coveted; I remember so many fandoms wanted their actors to be chosen as the main cast. The reason? Because this is meant to be the first Mafia/Crime BL. Yes, you heard us, no more universities and engineers we're doing bodyguards and spoilt gangsters. I'm... But just knowing this, you just know that the show will also have angst, angst angstttt for days, drama, and a romance that probably involves haters to lovers, passion, and character development. We're coming in with guns blazing, with many side couples that look just as good and interesting, and many actors that look perfect for their roles. I cannot wait for KinnPorsche, especially when one of my favourite actors is going to be in it as a second lead Jeff Satur! Have you seen the posters, the character introduction, who they're casting for the rest of the show? This looks amazing, it seems well put together, and the whole team looks determined and ready to give us a great show. I'm honestly so excited, but I've also heard things about the book that I will have to wait for the show to be a judge of before saying. All I can say is quality of a show also includes the themes in the script, we're trying to evolve past the toxic plots and ideas in BL, so I'm hoping if there is any we cut it real quick and change that part. It's the producers and directors' choice to keep parts in that could be edited or removed. I haven't read the book, so I'm going to be wary about it for now, but from the whole cast, teasers, and posters I really think this show could be a favourite if appropriately handled.

Ratings: 4?/5 The question mark is for the rumours I've heard about the book. I can't lie that I want this show to be great and become one of my all-time favourites but with angst and violent personalities and passion comes leeways to toxicity and more and that's just not cute or needed.

My Engineer Season 2

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Angst, Drama, Friends to Lovers, Haters to Lovers, Unrequited love, University,

Okay, this is it, folks. My Engineer came in 2020 and knocked our socks off; it's the most underrated great show in 2020 (apart from why r u) in my opinion. It was brilliantly constructed with enough screen time and plot for every couple of the show. My Engineer is a great show; it didn't make it to my favourites because I had issues with the main couple, but it was my most enjoyed when it came to the side couples. Because we had KingRam, TharaFong, and MekBoss. (Sorry to BohnDuen Fans). These were some of the most exciting, heartfelt, loving couples in 2020, KingRam was just chef kiss. And to hear that we're getting a sequel based on them? Well you know what I did, I screamed. I loved both KingRam and TharaFrong they were done so well, acted so well, and they made me laugh and laugh and then squeal and blush. They were too cute. The ending of my engineer left both these couples on a cliff hanger; we had a depressing bro zone with TharaFong as Fong came to realise his feelings, we had a wait what moment with Ram telling King he wasn't drunk when the kiss happened which is essentially a 'we need to deal with this new situation' text. And it's got me so excited to see what happens next. The first part of this was excitement. The second part is sigh, sequels. I told you didn't sequels are just urgh. I couldn't stop my excitement about KingRam, and I went to read the novel, and I usually don't mind it, but I don't think if the sequel is based on their story that I'd like them in season 2. And that's ridiculous because they're finally the main couple of season 2, and TalayPerth is impressive to see on screen. Sigh. I wasn't happy when reading the book; there are specific actions and choices made that just shifts the dynamic of the first season into the opposite. And I'm not particularly excited to relive those moments. Let's just say I still have high hopes for My engineer mostly cause I don't know what's happening to the other couples; I really hope there's a change in the script, maybe more information, more reasons for the characters to act the way they do, more depth? Because I want to like this show, I want it successful, but I'm not a clown I can't pretend it will be if it's based on the books. We'll see if I'm proved wrong. I hope I am.

Ratings: 3.5- Why did I read the book why?? I should have come into it blind I would have given it a 5/5 just for KingRam. Sigh

Love Stage

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Gender Bender, Friends to Lovers, Childhood friends,

This was a shock. Thailand has started to remake mangas from Japan, and it's all the most loved ones. In 2021 we already have Antique Bakery being remade by GMMTV (Read my GMMTV Giants of 2021) and now we have Love Stage which is also getting a Japanese Movie remake out in 2021. It's a great manga, anime and it's going to be a fun show. I enjoyed the characters, and I liked the storyline. But what I'm the most excited about when it comes to this is Kaownah and Turbo finally, after years of waiting have a new series. YES. Kaownah plays Long in TharnType our villain, and he was incredible in that. I heard he and Turbo were meant to be in the show My Umbrella, but it was cancelled and forgotten which was disappointing. These two are so cute, they're known for their fanservice and their chemistry and friendship. And I like them a lot. I can't wait to see Love Stage. I think they'll kill it. Can't wait to hear more about it let's hope this time it sticks and comes through on our screens.

Ratings: 4/5 It's a fun storyline, and it has an excellent acting couple. I'm excited.

If 2021 already sounded brilliant because of GMMTV 2021, 2021 sounds even more exciting with these new shows; there's so many coming out, so many breaking stereotypes, so many unique plotlines, and so many great actors showing up. It's going to be a great year. I'm just glad BLs are growing, things are changing slowly, things are starting to have meaning and improve, international fans are being listened to, LGBT voices is also being listened to, we are getting there, not yet there but closer, every single time someone makes a choice to create a great plot and story that is more than just two guys making out, a show filled with heart, messages and essential representation with the good actors that also want the shows to mean something or are willing to put their all in it, every time someone chooses to make a good BL, you're paving the way for change and for the meaning of BL to change as well, for it just to be seen as something more in media. And that's needed for so many people who want shows like this to be respected and created for voices that need to be heard and displayed. Let’s see more with excellent quality in 2021.

#thai bl #bl series #bl drama #gmmtv 2021 #between us #love mechanics #itsay #i told sunset about you #my engineer #lovely writer #wrpup #2021

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oldsmobile-hotdogs · 3 years

Note

Willex + ⛵️💍💫

ohoho bestie i had fun with this (also it’s almost 2k oops lol)

it’s also available on ao3!

may i present to you:

Two Ghosts... Having a Date on a Stolen Boat... They Might Kiss...

Alex had to admit: even for Willie, this act of delinquency was a lot.

When he’d first floated the idea of joyriding a sailboat under cover of night to Alex, albeit somewhat casually and hypothetically as they strolled along the pier during a mild June afternoon, Alex had gone along jokingly in that way you do when a friend asks who’d be eaten first if the whole group were trapped on a desert island.

But then Willie had brought it up again on their next- Date? Outing? Meeting?

(Alex was vehemently avoiding putting labels on their spending time together, just in case Willie were to put a different one on it to the one he ascribed it.)

And then on their next, next… hanging-out session… Willie had mooted a date for the grand theft boat and didn’t phrase it much like a question. And then he’d gently pointed out when the sailing class stopped for the night on said date: a Sunday, no less, so it closed before the sun even got close to setting, meaning anyone inside the little shed where they stored the paperwork and lifejackets would certainly be gone by the evening.

This wasn’t accounting for how objectively shocked Alex had been to learn that Willie knew how to sail, of all things. He knew Willie knew how to skate, though that was hard to miss, and he knew Willie had mentioned he used to surf a little when he was alive, but as far as Alex was aware, and he was sorting through all of their conversations just to be sure that he was sure, Willie had never mentioned he could sail.

In retrospect, that could have largely been because he couldn’t, strictly speaking. Alex had watched on in a strange mix of awe and terror as Willie had untied a small sailboat that lent itself easily to being pitied, if he was honest- all chipping paint and scuffs on the body and sunbleached sails- from its docking, and then suddenly he'd been yanked onto the vessel by his arm and made to crouch just behind Willie, close enough for the wind kicking up to whip his hair occasionally in Alex's face, and then Willie had knelt behind the sails and done something, Alex couldn't be sure what, that meant they were off. It was pleasant at first, which had surprised him immensely. Initially they were travelling relatively slowly, but still smoothly, not too far out from the shore, and the longer the joyride had lasted at this pace, the closer Alex had been to letting himself relax.

But then it had very quickly become apparent that Willie was somewhat out of his element: not majorly- he'd probably taken a few classes in a summer, maybe- but enough that he had psyched himself out. And whenever Willie felt psyched out, he turned reckless. Well, more reckless.

Despite the fact that he was a ghost, which meant that even if they had capsized they would have both been able to breathe, and that even if they had crashed no one would have been hurt and it would be physically impossible for the crime to come back to them, Alex had found himself with a white-knuckled grip on either side of the boat as it had picked up speed almost exponentially and began coasting erratically from side to side, the sail changing direction so obviously and violently that even an absolute novice, which Alex was, could have seen that something was wrong.

'You alright up there?' Alex had asked, even though "up there" was about four inches from his face.

'Yeah, I'm just- hold on-' And then Willie had let go of the tiller, which had filled Alex with the fear of God for a good six seconds, before rolling his shoulders back, shaking out his hands, exhaling a quick breath through his mouth and grasping it again. Willie must have gotten himself out of his Beserker state in that time because the boat had then begun moving in a relatively straight line again and, after a little while, had eased itself back down to a manageable speed. Alex would have to ask about that coping mechanism when he got the chance.

After what felt like maybe ten more minutes of sailing lightly around, but may have been quite a bit more, spent mostly in comfortable silence, Willie had pulled clumsily back into where the boat had previously been docked and Alex had clambered out from the little space he had been guided to originally and had remained in the entire joyride, tying the rope back around the little wooden pole that tethered it to the beach. Sailors' knots Alex could do. He'd been so afraid of getting lost in the woods one spring when he was a child, although an opportunity had never presented itself for him to go into the woods, that he'd read a Boy Scouts handbook cover to cover to the point where, even now, if he closed his eyes, he could see the passage on how to sterilise river water laid out in front of him.

'When you're done come back onto the boat. I wanna sit here for a little bit.'

Alex had looked up from his handiwork to meet Willie's gaze. His eyes had been bright, filled with the leftover mischief from their escapade, and a soft smile which had made Alex wonder if Willie had something else up his sleeve had played on his lips.

'Okay, yeah, I'll be back in a second,' he had replied, leaning down one last time to tighten the knot in the right places.

Willie had genuinely expected Alex to tell him to stop at some point, but the more Alex had gone along with what was originally at least partially a joke, the more Willie had wanted to see if he could actualise what had previously only ever been a poorly planned pipe dream. When everything started more or less crashing down around them, however, and their outing previously slated as some dangerous, blockbuster-level adventure had fizzled out into the anticlimax of the season, Willie couldn't help but worry that he had done something to threaten what the two had going for them, which would be poor timing, considering.

Now sitting sideways on the boat together, ghost legs phasing into the shallow water below, hands in touching distance if one of them just worked up the courage to splay their pinky finger a little more, Willie was getting nervous. A little giddy, too, at the possibility of this going right, but mostly nervous.

'Alex?' he began, a little embarrassed, though he knew that was needlessly so, at how his voice hiked in pitch from the nerves.

'Yeah?' Alex responded, his eyes suddenly fixed on him. Willie felt his face grow warm at this, and hoped the relative darkness afforded him some ability to hide the blush he knew was developing.

An added problem was that now Willie had no idea what to say next. He was great at listening to people divulge their emotions, sure, but he always struggled a little with expressing his own, preferring to offer solutions to the other people in his life's struggles and pretend like his own feelings weren't always too close to overflowing for comfort. Willie was suddenly hit with the overwhelming urge to backtrack as quickly as was humanly possible.

'No, never mind, actually. It's not important.' Willie attempted to sound casual, but was unsure of how successfully it actually came off.

'Well, see, now I definitely wanna hear what you had to say,' Alex retorted jokingly.

‘No, it’s stupid. Really.’

‘No, it’s not,’ Alex was now looking Willie pointedly in the eyes. ‘I don’t think you’ve said a stupid thing ever-’ Willie opened his mouth, ready to counter him- ‘Not when it counts.’

And it’s not like that admission of blind faith in Willie made the next words out of his mouth any easier, but they were now propelled from hiding by an added energy that wasn’t there before.

‘Okay, so I went to Tokyo a few weeks back-’

‘You- ...okay.’ It was obvious that this anecdote would have Alex wanting to throw himself into one of his crises about the afterlife and ghost powers and the limitations of poofing, but he was, so far, very valiantly, in Willie’s opinion, holding back. ‘You’ll have to tell me about that later.’

Willie couldn’t help but giggle at how resigned Alex sounded. ‘Oh, I will, hotdog, don’t worry.’

'Anyway,' Willie began again, more confident now that the conversation had taken on some humour. 'So I went to Tokyo, and I was walking down a street with a bunch of vendor stalls, and I saw this one stall and I, uh.' He paused a little, taking a few gentle breaths to build up the courage necessary to continue. 'I remembered my Mom telling me about these, uh, these rings.' Willie could almost feel Alex's eyes widen as he drew out the small, purple pouch that kept them safe from his hoodie pocket. He rushed to clarify. 'They're not- it's not a big thing in Japan. They're not like promise rings.' Alex audibly exhaled. 'Yeah, don't- I wouldn't... spring that on you.'

'No, yeah, I didn't... think you would.'

A silence came over them, uncharacteristicallly awkward, and Willie felt a little hopeless to save the moment.

Eventually, it was Alex who broke it. 'So, these rings?'

'Yeah,' Willie quickly responded. 'I stole them.' Alex chuckled under his breath. 'They're called couple rings, and people- well, couples- they buy them to mark the fact that they're- well, that they're couples.'

'Seems simple enough,' Alex joked, evidently warming to the idea.

'Oh yeah, very simple.' Willie could feel a smile spreading across his face. 'And there's no implication that you're gonna, like, do anything else later on either, which I like because, I mean, we're ghosts.' He gestured at how their legs became translucent where they dangled into the water. 'And that's probably already enough thinking about "forever" on its own, without the added pressure of any big promises.'

'Yeah, I agree.' Alex let out a sigh.

There was a beat of quiet before Willie continued.

'But obviously actually seeing them and putting them on is the main event, so I'm going to get them out of the pouch now, finally,' he joked, pulling open the hole in the top and lightly shaking two thin, silver bands out onto his hand. He then placed them gently onto the edge of the boat, and turned them so that Alex could see clearly what they looked like, or as clearly as was possible at this time of night.

'They've both got this line engraved in them almost the whole way 'round, and then one has a star stamped into it, and the other has a moon,' Willie explained, the nerves returning now that his gift was out in the open.

'I can see that,' Alex responded breathily, leaning a little closer to the rings. 'Willie, these are- they're beautiful. Thank you.'

'I thought you could be the star,' Willie suggested, the arm of his that was further away from Alex reaching up to rub at his neck, lightly avoiding how to respond to Alex's gratitude.

'Okay.'

Gingerly, Willie closed the gap between their hands and slipped the band onto Alex's ring finger, and then donned his own. Neither of them spoke for a little while, both stunned into silence and afraid to break this air of closeness they'd achieved. Once again, Alex was the first to move.

'So, this definitely means we're dating, right?'

Willie flung himself backwards into the hull of the ship, his hair somewhat cushioning his head as he landed, his legs sticking up over the top, now opaque. 'Ugh. Yes, hotdog, we're dating,' he called back up in fake annoyance.

'Cool, just checking,' Alex called back.

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leia-organa-fics · 3 years

Text

aftermath (part III)

I know it´s been forever and there are still open asks in my inbox, but this wouldn´t leave me alone, so I had to write it. I hope you enjoy.

You can find part II here.

***

Before he could get lost in his thoughts again, Leia hectically entered the lounge. “The proximity alarm just went off,” she stated.

“Damn it,” Han cursed and ran to the cockpit, Chewie and Leia hot on his heels. He sat down on the pilot´s seat and started checking the sensor alerts. It wasn´t just one ship in their near vicinity, it was a whole kriffing fleet. Twenty-one ships. Three of them were only freighters, but the rest was equipped with enough weapons to be battleships.

“Are they Imperials?” Leia asked.

“Doesn´t look like it. Probably just scavengers, but we can´t risk them recognizing our ship. We need to get outa here.” Easier said than done. They needed to leave the asteroid field before they could enter hyperspace, but the fastest way to do so would have them flying directly towards the approaching ships. All other routes would lead them through thousands of miles of asteroids, something their shields and hence they would not survive. The ships had effectively cut off their only escape route. That left them only one option.

“Prepare the ship for a jump into hyperspace, Chewie!” Han yelled before yanking the ship around. He would rather take his chances with the fleet than with nature´s force.

Leia didn´t seem to share that opinion. “What are you doing?” she hissed. “You´re heading directly for them.”

Chewie, the traitor, gave a warning roar, too.

Han didn´t even look at them. “Have a little faith, will you.”

“Oh, I have absolute faith in your ability to get us killed.”

“Didn´t they teach you in princess school that it´s not nice to talk about people like that?”

Leia snorted. “Telling them the truth you mean?”

“Thought you politicians don´t do much of that anyway.”

“I´m not a politician anymore. I´m a rebel.”

“That you are, sweetheart,” Han said. “Are you gonna let me concentrate on piloting now or do you actually want us to get killed?”

If she replied, he didn´t hear it because he was too focused on avoiding asteroids. He tuned the rest of the world out. All there was, was the Falcon. The line where he ended, and his ship began was blurred. It was an extension of his body. His hands had melted into the steering panel and all he could think about was dodging.

It took an eternity and mere seconds at the same time, but then, finally, the field started to thin out. There was more and more space, but that also meant that the ships were now right in front of them.

As of yet, they hadn´t fired though. That had to be a good sign, right? Or they wanted to capture them alive …

Behind him, he heard Leia gasp. “That are Alderaanian Battle Cruisers,” she cried.

Chewie gave a distressed roar.

“I don´t think so,” Han answered. “What good would it do the Imps to hijack Alderaanian ships?”

“They must have patrolled the sector, when…,” Leia trailed off. She seemed to be in shock. “Can we contact them?”

Han grimaced. “It might still be a trap.”

“Or it might be my people in need of help.”

He turned to his co-pilot. “Is the jump calculated?”

Chewie made an affirmative sound.

“Alright,” Han said. “But at the first sign of trouble, we get out of here.”

Leia´s hand was already reaching for the comm unit before he had even finished talking. Typically. She jammed in the frequency and send out a signal. “This is Princess Leia Organa. I wish to talk to whoever is in charge of the approaching fleet. Please identify yourself.”

For some seconds there was only static silence, then a man´s voice sounded. “Princess Leia?” he asked incredulously. “Is it really you?”

“Commander Rieekan!” Leia seemed to be just as stunned.

“Princess, I am so glad to hear your voice, but how is this possible? Word of your death reached us almost two weeks ago.”

“Lies of the Empire. They boarded the Tantive IV and detained me, but with some help, I was able to escape.”

“Do you know what happened? Alderaan …“ The desperation in the man´s voice was palpable and Han felt for him. One more person who had lost everything.

Leia sucked in a pained breath. “This is not a conversation we should have over comm. I´m afraid our ship does not have enough space for guests, but may I come over?”

“Of course,” Rieekan said. “We would be honoured to have you.”

With that, the conversation ended. As soon as Leia had cut the connection, Han spun around to face her. “What do you think you are doing? Going over to their ship? It could still be a trap!”

“It´s not a trap,” Leia answered calmly. “This man has served our family for decades. I have known him all my life. He would never betray me.”

“You may think so, but his planet was destroyed because your family dabbled with the Rebellion!” He regretted the words as soon as they had left his mouth – and not only because Chewie gave him an angry shove and called him some very colourful names.

For a second, Leia looked absolutely shattered, then a controlled mask slid over her face. He knew that something between them had just broken and it was his fault alone. Where before she had to a degree trusted him with her emotions, there now was only her political training. The hurt would recede – he hoped so, at least, because some wounds never closed, and he had just worsened one that was already too deep – but gaining her trust back would be one hell of a job.

He wanted to apologize, but before he had the chance, she said, “Riekaan´s loyalty lies with the Rebellion as well. He won´t betray me.”

“Okay,” Han conceded. Because what else was there to do? “But you´re not going alone. I´m coming with you.”

“That´s not necessary.”

“It is. You´re our passenger, I am responsible for your well-being.”

Leia shot him a glare. “I can take care of myself; not that it will be necessary this time.”

“Just humour me, princess, alright?”

“Fine.” She seemed still annoyed with him but at least she agreed.

Rieekan´s ship broke away from the rest of the fleet and approached them. Han, still wary, watched its every move but nothing seemed out of the ordinary so far. When the two ships were close enough, Han steered the Falcon to the cruiser´s docking bay. The two ships connected.

“Be prepared to take off any minute,” he said to Chewie, before joining Leia at the docking bay.

The door that separated the two ships opened. On the other side stood only one man. He looked maybe fifteen years older than Han. He was wearing a dark blue uniform with lots of shiny orders pinned to the jacket, but the material was rumpled, as was his hair. His face was pale and his eyes red-rimmed. All in all, the man – Han assumed it must be Rieekan – looked thoroughly haggard. Still, his face lit up in genuine delight when he laid eyes on Leia. “Your Highness,” he greeted her. His voice spoke equally of graveness and relief.

Leia pressed her lips together. A motion that, as Han had learned over the course of the last few days, meant she was trying not to cry. “Just Leia,” she said after a couple of seconds. “Titles don´t matter anymore.”

Rieekan´s face twisted into a sad smile. “On the contrary, Your Highness,” he said. “Now, titles matter more than ever.”

Leia shot him a questioning look. “What do you mean?”

“We have been robbed of our home. The few of our people who have survived are dispersed all over the Galaxy. They need something to rally around.”

“And you think that something should be me?”

“I didn´t mean to overwhelm you, but you have been the voice of our people since your inauguration as a senator. Now they need you to be their heart as well.”

Leia took a shaky breath. “That´s a lot to ask of a single person.”

And it was. Han´s expertise may not have lain in politics, but even he could comprehend how much this Rieekan person was asking of her. After the loss of Alderaan, he wanted Leia to become their people´s new centre of gravity. Han believed she could do it, no doubt, but even the brightest suns burned out. What if she imploded when hit with the full weight of the remaining Alderaanians´ grief? It hadn´t even been a week. She had barely had time to deal with her own loss …

“I have known you all your life, Leia,” Rieekan said. “You were meant to do this.”

Leia nodded. She seemed to be deep in thought, but Han couldn´t tell whether she agreed with Rieekan´s words and had thought so herself all along or whether she was just bending herself backwards to meet this man´s expectations. He couldn´t decide what would be worse.

After some seconds, Rieekan finally broke the uncomfortable silence. “My apologies, Your Highness. I did overwhelm you, after all. Perhaps we should continue this conversation somewhere more comfortable.”

“Of course,” Leia answered. Then she turned to Han. “Please forgive my rudeness. This is General Rieekan. General, this is Captain Han Solo. He helped me escape and is now escorting me to the Alliance.”

Rieekan looked at Han as if he had just noticed his presence. There was a flicker of … something in his eyes. Maybe it was surprise, maybe even scandal. Then he extended his hand though. “I owe you my thanks, Captain.”

Han took his hand and shook it. He couldn´t suppress a smirk. “Don´t worry. The Alliance already compensated me accordingly.”

“He can´t accept that he´s one of the good guys now,” Leia said exasperatedly. “His co-pilot is a lot more tolerable though.”

Han shot her a wounded look. “And there I was starting to think your princess manners were finally extending to me as well.”

“You were the one who insisted on being friends with me.”

“The last week has undoubtedly proven that my judgement is not what it once was.”

Leia ignored him and turned to Rieekan instead. “You said something about going somewhere more comfortable, General.”

“Of course, if you´d like to follow me.”

He led them away from the docking bay. The few crew members they passed on their way all seemed to be still in shock after what had happened to their planet. That didn´t prevent them from reacting to Leia´s presence with awe though. All of them bowed and greeted her respectfully. Inwardly, Han shook his head over their behaviour. No wonder she was so bossy when people had treated her like that all her life.

After reaching some kind of conference room, they were equipped with some refreshments before finally continuing their conversation. Again, Rieekan didn´t beat around the bush. “Do you know what happened to Alderaan?” he asked once they were alone and behind closed doors. “We were at the other end of the sector. Our sensors could only detect some kind of explosion and then it was just gone.”

Leia was staring at the wall behind Rieekan when she answered, “The explosion you noticed was caused by a weapon. The Empire created a battle station with enough firepower to destroy a planet. However, a weapon like that is only feared when people know that it works. I would have never imagined … “

Rieekan´s face twisted in anguish. “The Empire did this?”

“It did.”

Silence fell over them. Suddenly, Han felt very out of place. He wasn´t from Alderaan. He couldn´t relate to their loss (and hopefully never would be able to). Back on the Falcon, when it had just been Leia, Chewie, and himself, that hadn´t been a problem but now he felt like an intruder who was disturbing their shared grief. It was too late to back out though. He was stuck in this room with them. The thought of what the conversation he would witness could entail made his stomach churn.

As if he had read his thoughts, Rieekan whispered, “Why Alderaan? There are countless uninhabited planets. How did we deserve this?”

“We didn´t,” Leia answered icily. “Not one sentient being that was on Alderaan when it happened deserved that fate.”

“Why did they choose Alderaan then?”

Again, Leia couldn´t meet anyone´s eyes. She kept staring grimly at the while and her voice was hoarse when she started to talk. “A small strike force managed to steal the battle station´s blueprints. They sent them to us, to the Tantive IV, during the battle of Scarif. We tried to get the plans to the Alliance, but Vader caught up to us near Tatooine.” Leia took a shaky breath. “Before he boarded the ship, I sent two droids out in an otherwise empty escape pod, to bring the plans to an old friend of … my father´s who lived on Tatooine. They got away, but Vader took me prisoner. He wasn´t exactly happy about not finding the blueprints. Neither was Tarkin. So when I refused to give up the Alliance´s location and they were in need of a target …” Leia didn´t finish the sentence. She didn´t have to. “I´m so sorry,” she whispered instead.

Rieekan remained silent. He seemed to need some time to take in all the new information. Han couldn´t blame the man. Even his own head was swirling after hearing all that and he had already known a big part of it beforehand. Suddenly, Leia´s behaviour made a lot more sense. She was blaming herself for what happened to Alderaan. She´d had to stand by helplessly while the Death Star had destroyed her planet and Han could only guess that it had destroyed a part of her as well. He wondered what she had been like before. Somehow, he couldn´t imagine her as carefree and wasn´t that just awful?

He snuck a glance at her. She was still wearing the same stoic mask. Han couldn´t help himself. In contradiction to his earlier resolution to not intrude on this conversation, he said with all the conviction he felt, “It wasn´t your fault.”

That jerked Rieekan out of his stupor. “He´s right,” he said. “It wasn´t your fault, Your Highness.”

Leia took a shaky breath. “If it had been someone else who had brought the plans, they would have destroyed another planet. The only reason they chose Alderaan was me.”

Rieekan´s kind gaze held something fatherly when he answered, “That still doesn´t make it your fault, Leia. You did everything you could. Your parents would be proud.”

“We will never know, will we? They´re dead.”

There wasn´t much that could be said in response and definitely nothing that would have made a difference. There were a couple seconds of silence.

“What are you going to do now?” Leia finally changed the topic.

“I can only speak for myself, but my place is with the Rebellion.”

Leia nodded as if she had anticipated that. “Everyone who wants to join is welcome with the Rebellion and if I have anything to say, we will still provide help to anyone who doesn´t.”

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starfighter10 · 4 years

Text

tlou2 opinion

So I really had to share my opinion(rant) on the last of us part 2 and boy I have a lot to say. I am gonna dwell deep into this one, so bear with me if you can and want to

But before that I have to share the feelings I hold for tlou1.Back when I finished tlou1, I knew I experienced something truly magical. I was pleasantly surprised by the beautifully crafted story, the execution of the characters, the music, the gameplay , and the effort that went into shaping the journey of the game,the character arcs and bonds. You could see and experience the uniqueness and passion that went into the first project. This game immediately became a favourite of mine.

When tlou2 was announced, my expectations were skyhigh,was elated to continue Joel and Ellie's journey and how it unfolds. The bar set by the first one was exceptionally high and probably impossible to achieve, but I had trust and faith in naughty dog, thought they couldn't go wrong with this one. After experiencing tlou2 , I am speechless.... not in a good way. I have no words to express my disappointment,frustration and anger I feel right now. I don't even know where to begin.... the absolute mess of a plot, the original characters being blatantly ignored, retconned and disrespected in favour of new bland characters, the plotholes in the story, the false advertising and marketing, naughty dog's hubris, making a complete mockery of your fans who are paying money to play something but getting baited for something else. I am utterly heartbroken and angry.

The plot - the driving force of the game is over ambitious, lazy,sloppy and nihilistic. It felt forced. Naughty dog bit off more then they could chew with this one. Tlou2 could have gone several ways in terms of plot with the existing characters, yet we get the cliche revenge plotline with the character abandoning the quest altogether to realise revenge isn't the answer. This trope has been done several times before, with more finesse and better execution. The writers aim for the " Ellie breaks the cycle of the revenge" but it really fails to achieve this as she blatanly annihilates several characters,npcs along the way in quest of her revenge. The damage has been done practically speaking. According to naughty dog's logic , I should expect Nora's sister or a random npc's friend/relatives in tlou3 hunting down Ellie in their revenge quest. Also Abby's quest literally does nothing for me. This character was so poorly written, executed and shoved down our throats, I didn't have any sort of attachment or empathy for her. I simply don't care about this character.

The circumstances that lead to Joel's death was out of character as well. Since the trailer drop in 2016, I was prepared for his inevitable death. Thought he would probably go out like the badass he is, maybe sacrificing himself for Ellie/tommy. The Joel I know from tlou1, a hardened survivor who has fought tooth and nail to survive the past 20 years would NEVER end up in a situation like that. Joel was intensely alert, critical,clever and intuitive. The argument here may be that he has softened in Jackson, but I feel at this point this should be 2nd nature to him. Something that is automatic. Yet the writer's now want you to believe he is a dumbass who would trust a group of strangers, make small talk and introductions and end up in a situation like that. One of the bigger issues was the constant reinforcing that Joel wiped down the fireflies in cold blood and doomed humanity for death by robbing them of their cure for survival,Ellie believing the cure would have been a guaranteed sure shot success ..... WHY? This retcons the first one completely. The beauty of the tlou1 was it's moral ambiguity and uncertainty. We were constantly hinted that fireflies is a mess of a group whose agendas weren't clearly known, whose actions caused the sacrifice of many people for the sake of a slight possibility of a cure.They were power hungry and were cruel enough to send a 14 year old girl to her death with no remorse,consent or any proper investigation or medical research. Joel initially negotiates to find someone else, gets shut down immediately, gets his means of survival snatched and was practically marched to his death. He had no option but to wipe clean these people who planned on killing someone dear to him, for something that is uncertain or in vain. And yes this was a selfish decision on Joel's part, and that was the beauty of it. The moral ambiguity. He was right or wrong or both - open to your interpretation. BUT NOW NAUGHTY DOG WANTS TO TO ERASE ALL THAT DEVELOPMENT. The active reinforcement that Joel was a cold, ruthless murderer who killed fireflies and deprived humanity of its cure? Trying to erase the fact that he was surviving and trying to keep his dear ones safe in this cold, brutal and unforgiving postapocalyptic world. So that we sympathize with Abby and enjoy golfing the tf outa Joel?. Ellie seems like a different character in this one, but again this character is immediately pushed to a whirlwind of traumatic events right from the start of the game. I missed her spark of joy,humour and enthusiasm. The treatment of the main chatacter in her own game is utterly cruel and disappointing, and seemed unfair to me. By the end, Ellie is broken beyond repair. Though she thematically chooses to be the better person and gives up on her vengeance and hate, she still manages to be on the losing side as she ends up losing her father figure which was her closest bond, loses Dina and the kid , she doesn't have her community, her people, her fucking fingers as well. Why? So Ellie could suffer a little more and be unable to do most important thing that bonded her to Joel. Not to mention she loses her switchblade too, her mother's final memory. Surprised that ND spared her mother's letter . Feel her pain and despair. Why does Ellie get such a shitty,depressing, worthless, futile and a hopeless conclusion while Abby not only gets her revenge successfully, forms a close bond in Lev and gets to escape possibly to a fresh start. Ellie? Nah she gets to suffer alone. Her BIGGEST FEAR has become a reality by the end. The least they could do is let Ellie have some solace and calm, surrounded by her loved ones on that farm,her trying to recover from her trauma slowly but surely, it's what joel would have wished for. But no, she is left all alone, absolutely traumatized, all by herself with nothing to look forward to. Oh and tommy is whole new character in every scene. So keep your eyes peeled for various versions of tommy throughout. The character inconsistencies are ridiculous.

The gameplay, beautiful sceneries, and new characters like dina and jesse are few of the positives of game - leaning more towards Jesse. Dina felt perfect for Ellie and Jesse did manage to lighten up few of the moments. The space shuttle cutscene, the museum flashback sequence, ellie and joel's flashbacks were the only parts that remotely captures the magic and beauty of tlou1. I got emotional watching them. The space shuttle sequence hits you with the feels. Joel slaying a bloater with a machete was cinematic art. (Hot too)

Abby... the forced deuteragonist, is an utter failure of character execution. Her character was forced onto us, felt hasty and lacked real build up. She starts off on the wrong foot by killing one of the most popular characters. If ND really wanted this character to work, the only possible way would have been to play her point of view and backstory prior to her mercilessly killing and torturing a guy who just saved her life. What was ND thinking? That a few hours of her pov,forced out of the blue background story, her getting to play with dogs while ellie has no option but to attack the dogs, the abby-lev bond which is pretty much discount or the walmart version ellie and joel would be enough to side with her over ellie and joel???? The part where they force you to play as abby against ellie? It made me sick. I felt cheated and disgusted.

The false advertising to make us believe joel is alive and good? That this is an ellie and joel centric game?To tug at your heartstrings like this. A complete mockery of the fans who waited 7 years to see their favorite characters get horribly treated,retconned, disrespected and thrown under the bus in favour of new unlikable characters. Butchering the heart and soul of the last of us - Joel and Ellie's bond. The fact that these two don't even get a heart to heart before his death, that Joel dies uncertain of ellie's future, maybe thought he could not save Ellie in those final painful moments, that she had never forgiven him, Ellie never getting her closure with Joel, or really getting to tell him how much he meant to her.... all these thoughts legit made me shed tears. Broke my heart. This is how much ND wanted to honour and respect ellie and joel.

The game's conclusion is hollow, futile, worthless and depressing. And in my opinion, this is non canon. This is the only way I can cope with this unsastifying conclusion. It is immaturity I guess... but I will feel better about it.

Though I utterly despise tlou2, tlou1 will continue to remain one of my favorite pieces of work in fiction. JOEL FUCKING MILLER WILL ALWAYS BE THE BADDEST BITCH AND NOTHING WILL CHANGE THE LOVE I HAVE FOR HIM.

If someone actually read it all the way, thank you for your time and effort. Really needed to rant and let these negative emotions out.

#the last of us #the last of us part 2 #tlou spoilers #tlou #tlou2 #tlou joel #tlou ellie #my rants #ellie #joel miller #joel

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kcatta-wodahs · 3 years

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Hey there :3 May I request a matchup🙈? I'm a 5'6 tall, queer, chin long dyed red haired girl(she/her) and you can call me Karo if you need a name :p I don't really care if it's a single pairing or a poly one as well as the kind of relationship (platonic/romantic/sexual), but maybe a romantic one would be sweet🤔 I'm a INFP and was born under the sign of Pisces and I think the stereotype fits me pretty well lol. I don't think I would describe myself as clingy, I definetely need my space (part1)

and me-time, but sometimes it's also nice to have someone who will drag me outside to do stuff or socialize if I'm isolating myself too much or another depressive episode seems to creep up on me. I think they need to understand, doesn't matter if it's a platonic or romantic relationship, that sometimes I can't give them much(time etc) and that that's nothing personal and that they're still very important to me. Hmmm I think I would prefer my relationship like I like my fanfics hehe, slow burning, like first get to know each other, (enemies to) friends to lovers is just *chefs kiss* for me <3 I really love to draw and sing, to dance too, I like to spend time in nature and with animals, help them too. But I also like adrenaline rushes, like rollercoasters, cave exploring, bungee jumping, exploring lost places etc, I would say I'm almost up to anything if it's exciting or interesting, but I definetely like just chilling and watching netflix, playing games or watching Vine compilations or crackhead satire twilight tiktoks(which is tbh the things I do most of the time until someone drags me out). I love making others laugh with just random outbursts(thats pretty much my humour, just randomness and gen z memes). I try not to judge anyone for anything and be open for all kinds of stuff, except for like non-negotiable things for me like racism, homophobia, sexism etc, like, full offense but I have absolutely a zero tolerance for that. I also get very emotional very easily, doesn't matter if it's something not so important like a touching movie scene(so many things make me cry so easily haha) or like in an argument. I really have a hard time argueing, I hate it SO much, I either try to avoid conflict(and run away like a coward lol) or if it's really something we have to discuss I sometimes need time and space in between(not the best under stress talker/thinker), but if the other side is being calm and considerate then I think I would be fine too Oh almost forgot,I love cuddling(definetely also platonic)and am not afraid to just throw myself at my friends/lover/s I am getting better at not caring about what others think, but sometimes I'm still pretty insecure about everything(my actions,my future,my appearence..),but my motto is fake it till you make it,so feck other people,I can do whatever the hell I like and nobody's gonna stop me hehe😈🙈 Soo yes,I think that will be enough😂Thank you for your time and effort👐💕👐

A/N: I promise you fake it til you make it is 100000% good strategy and also i see feck are you from ireland

I pair you with.... The Attic Sandwich!

Beel and Belphie would be perfect partners for you. The two of them balance each other out in many ways, and you fit right into that. They value the connection between them and because of it they don't expect to always be around each other. This connection extends to you. Beel takes you out to all sorts of places (usually ones where there's unique food) and would definitely have fun with some adrenaline rushes. It makes him forget about his hunger for a bit. Belphie is absolutely there for your sense of humor and he's very good at watching your depression and arranging something to cheer you up.

More Below the Cut!

The plot of the first 20 chapters is what really gets you close to these two. (Spoilers for that follow and in the last three bullet points) Beel opens up more and more to you, and just absolutely falls for you. Belphie gives us that sweet, sweet enemies to lovers trope. He becomes curious about you, especially with how smitten Beel is, and ends up falling along the way.

THIS is the cuddliest group to ever cuddle oh my goodness when you want snuggles you will have them

They adore just relaxing with you. The three of you become a pile on the couch while watching movies or other videos.

Beel will watch you scroll through tumblr while he engulfs you with his arms. Belphie somehow worms his way into yours and alternates between sleeping against your chest and watching your screen as well. You hear an occasional snort of laughter from him.

Beel is very emotionally intelligent, so he can quickly determine your mood and what he can do to help.

Belphie encourages you to break out of your shell and be yourself. He's very blunt about his opinion of other people lol

He finds himself staying awake longer with you just so he can hear you. He thinks you're hilarious, honestly, and loves talking with you.

When you throw yourself at Beel he catches you. He big and strong and loves affection from you. but also this happens https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIhl1cW9Me8

Belphie thinks its the funniest shit he can't breathe

If you do it to Belphie honestly he just stands there - either to let you fall or cling to him like a koala. He looks so Done but I promise he loves it. He laughs at you either way. He saves hugs and cuddling for when laying in bed or sitting. Too tired to hold you.

They both understand needing space, and will often just go off and do their own thing. They have complete faith in your feelings for each other, and will never doubt that you love them.

At least not for needing alone time - Belphie has lingering guilt over plot but he tries to make up for it by protecting you.

The others in the house can't help but be reminded of the trio they were with Lilith as angels.

While it still hurts to remember, Beel and Belphie feel almost as if they've come home around you. A part of them that was lost is found again.

Snippet!

Cleaning day is nobody's favorite, but least of all Belphie's. Too much work. Just don't take ou your stuff and then you don't have to clean it later, right? The problem to him seems to be all the time people spend awake and he shouldn't have to deal with it!

But cleaning day is a little better with Beel and Karo. With their laughs and energy. Usually seeing other people so active drained him, but not with those two. He watched as Karo danced around the room to the music she had put on, while she and Beel tidied up. It was frankly adorable, and best of all: Belphie wasn't expected to join.

He was happy to watch. He watched as Karo spun into Beel's side, surprising him and causing him to stumble before he laughed and swept her up into a spin together. He watched as Beel picked Karo up with ease to put something on the top shelves of the room. He watched Karo find pillows in all the nooks and crannies of the room, and he huffed and whined when she threw each one at him on the bed.

Belphie was on snack duty. In exchange for the two helping him with cleaning day, he was expected to provide the rewards. This was not a small feat when Beel was involved, but it was far better than cleaning.

"Hah! The closet is done!" Karo declared, brandishing her feather duster. "Snack us, Belphie!"

He couldn't help but chuckle. It was an awful phrase. Silly and stupid, but Karo's enthusiasm was just so contagious.

"Good job. C'mere," he told them, reaching to his hoard of treats.

Karo practically jumped onto the bed, grinning at him, while Beel was close behind looking very expectant. Belphie hid the curling smile of his lips by lifting up a large bag. "The closet is the biggest monster of them all - so for defeating it, you two get this."

Karo gasped and Beel's eyes gleamed. "Oh, those are my favorite..." he said, already reaching out.

"Ah-ah," Belphie pulled the bag back, to be met with a pout from Beel. "You'll eat them too fast for Karo to get any, so we're gonna do something different."

"Different?" Karo asked.

Belphie smirked and opened the bag, which led to a very audible tummy rumble from Beel. He and Karo couldn't help but laugh. He pulled out a snack - just one - and held it up. "Karo, say 'aaah'."

She beamed at him and opened her mouth. "Aaah!" Belphie tried really hard to keep his blush down as he dropped the snack in her mouth. She was so darn cute about everything.

"Now you give one to Beel."

"Just one?"

"Just one," Belphie agreed, smirking at the pout.

It didn't last long though, as Karo held up the snack and said "aaah" to Beel. He eagerly opened his mouth for the treat, but shocked himself by blushing heavily once she leaned over to feed him. Karo didn't comment, but seemd to be rather proud of the fact.

Belphie fed her another, and she followed up with Beel - but Beel took her hand after stealing the snack from her fingertips. He couldn't help but kiss the palm of her hand. "You're... so cute," he mumbled. "I like this."

"I thought you would," Belphie said, pleased with himself. "Karo?" he held up another.

She went for the treat, but instead he pulled it away, holding it above his head. "Beel gave you a kiss, don't I get one too?"

Karo paused and blinked before laughing and leaning in. "You're adding new rules," she told him.

"Never said I couldn't," he answered, giving her a light peck on the lips before presenting her with the treat. The look of satisfaction in her eyes made his heart pound, and he could tell that Beel's was just as busy.

"My turn," Beel said quickly. Whether he meant for a snack or for a kiss... well. We shall see.

#im sorry it took so long!!!!!#i got hit with stress in school and hid in dragon quest builders 2 for three days #Ive literally done nothing but play that #thank you so much for the request!!!!#matchups #match ups #bast babbles #my writing

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strongsassysexysloane · 4 years

Text

Happening

As promised @regal-roni as always I blame you for all of this.

Also sorry about mistakes, didn’t feel like editing so its fresh off the press for you all.

. . . .

This wasn't like you, you were all work. Otherwise things fell apart and they were, had been, for a while. The team had said a few not so subtle things, like bringing you out of your trance when discussing a case.

"You need to say it out loud." Ellie propped herself up on the cabinet behind you, you groaned sitting back in your chair, your head bumping against her knee. It was well past midnight, you two were chasing a lead. All the guys had left. Gibbs had told you both to go home hours ago and you both lied. This case had hit you both too close and this has what brought you both to staying at work late at night on a Thursday.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." Lying was easy, you'd done it for years, keeping crushes buried deep. Focusing on your career. You'd been burnt once and once was enough. Some people may call you a coward, you just didn't need that hurt again.

"The guys may be oblivious to it but I'm not. Whenever Jack is around is when your can't concentrate. We were just discussing her notes on the victim and you zoned out again." Ellie clicked her pen a few times, the sound banging in your ears.

"Or maybe it's late, we've been going around in circles for hours and I'm past the point of thinking straight." You sigh, spinning around in your chair and crossing your arms to prove a point which she wasn't believing.

Ellie crossed her arms back at your. "That may all be true but that doesn't explain all the other times and the long stares you two share."

"She stares at me?" You see Ellie's smirk and want to slap you face, instead you drop your head back in defeat.

"Why can't you just admit it?"

"Like you can admit your feelings for Nick?" You arch your brow and her face drops.

"That's different!" She snaps. "Maybe we should get some sleep."

You let out a dry laugh and spin back around to shut down your computer. Nothing else is said and you both head home, Ellie didn't bring up the subject of your feelings toward Jack the next day or the day after. Actually it wasn't until you were wrapping up reports on the closed case that Ellie didn't talk about much of anything. Clearly you'd hit a nerve bringing up Nick.

Making sure the coast was clear, no Gibbs, no McGee and definitely no Nick in the squad room before you walked over to Ellie's desk. "Look I'm sorry if I hit a nerve with bringing up Nick the other night. I was tired, wasn't thinking and I didn't want to talk about Jack."

Ellie gave you a small smile. "It's fine. It was only fair. I pushed you about something you weren't ready to talk about."

"Yeah, I don't know how to talk about it though. It's just every time shes around, her smile -"

"Y/N ummm-"

"I know, it's ridiculous but I need to deal with it, she's distracting me from my work and I know she flirts but is it just with me? I've been too scared to bring it up because work place romances are never a good thing, things get complicated, messy and I've dealt with messy before. I'm thinking about this too much, she probably doesn't even like me in that way. God, i've got it bad. Ellie?" That's when you look at her and she's hiding a laugh, her eyes darting over your shoulder and back to you. You instantly freeze, here's hoping it's Nick or you hope even Gibbs.

"She got a name?" Said with a thick layer of emotion but masked by humour of the situation.

You want to be swallowed up by the floor. Be anywhere else than stuck between Ellie's desk and the person behind you. Clearing your throat you turn around stilling hoping it wasn't Jack even though it was definitely her voice. You can't reach her eyes. "Probably." You whisper and manage to move your feet and dash for the elevator. Nick and McGee thankfully just walk out and you duck in, they try and say something to you but you're furiously clicking the close doors button to care about anything else.

The doors are almost closed, the only person who'd dare to stick their hand between them would be Gibbs and now apparently, Jack. Now you bang your head against the wall as she walks in and the doors close. "You." You thought you only said it in your head but swear you feel the word come across your lips. The only confirmation was Jack's response.

"What?" She's given you space, her voice you can tell is over the other side of the elevator. Still not enough space but right now it feels like miles away.

"It's you but you knew that." The elevator grinds to a hault, you feel her hand rest onto your elbow, tugging your gently to turn around. You give in and turn, her hand going from your elbow up your arm and her fingers guiding your chin up so you have no choice but to look her in the eyes.

"Work place romance never a good thing? Sounds like you know that from experience." You hear the words but get lost in her eyes, they aren't judging, laughing or anything you expected. Instead you see something else, something you only dreamed of. You're stunned for a moment and the words Jack uttered, the question she asked doesn't register. It isn't until her hand moves slowly from under your chin to cup your cheek and her thumb glides across your cheek to wipe away a stupid tear that for some reason escaped it's duct that you come back to the moment. "Hey.." It's soft, the softest you've ever heard her speak, it's personal, but its just one word. A word she's said to any random person but right now it's only for you.

"Sorry. I don't want things to be weird between us. You obviously weren't meant to hear that. I-" Her thumb that was drying the tear from your cheek, rested gently on your lips, stopping you in your tracks. Her eyes, gentle, warm and sad.

You can see her thinking for a moment. Her thumb still on your lips, like she needs the silence to form the right words. The silence envelopes you, like you're standing still on the beach when the tide comes in and the stand beneath your feet is swallowing you.

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't flirting with you and only you." Jack's looking you in the eyes, right into you. The words don't register, oh how you wished they had because her eyes droop slightly, only you notice because you're staring directly at her. The sadness you saw before taking full form, the warmth slowly rolling out with the tide. "I'm also messy, so I can understand why.." The waves at your feet again, feet sinking further into the sand.

You cough slightly, bringing you both alert, out of your trance. Her thumb slips from your lips, as her hand falls from your face. "Romance in the workplace Jack. We both know how far south they can go. Hell, I moved from our LA office because of one. As for you being messy. That's not at all the reason why I haven't avoided this conversation." You pause, watching your words fill her. The warmth still evident in her eyes, but not as fulfilling as it once was. You don't like how the words came out but the meaning behind them the same.

Hell, you avoided the conversation because your mind had played the outcome over and over and over in your head. None of which ended out happily. In most cases you ran just like you had and in most cases Jack didn't follow. You ignored each other for weeks and then it just became a frigid workplace, colleague relationship. Right now. Right now had been played out less often in your mind, but when it did, this was the moment. Jack's next words that broke things.

You were holding onto your breath. Jack's hands ringing out each others. You hand came up to stop her from pulling her finger out of their sockets but she flinched and you knew. Knew that this was going to play out horribly like all your nightmares had done.

"So we just ignore this. I'll stop flirting and pretending there's something there and we just work. We are just work mates." You flinch at her conviction, at how you just saw all the warmth fade and her wall stand tall.

You can't help but take a step back. The wall of the elevator giving you a cold shock when your back hits it. Now the ducts warm you, warn you of what's coming and you quickly flick on the elevator again. The light almost burning your eyes.

"Sounds good to me." You push through the emotion that's taking over, you can't look at her now. Turning when the faithful ding rings and the doors agonisingly slowly open and you burst out. You can't think straight, don't care what floor you just ended up on, you just need to get away from this. Away from your living nightmare.

"Y/n!" Jack yells, she's looking after you, regret clearly painted on her face. Her fingers raking her golden locks back. "Shit." She bites her thumbnail and walks in the opposite direction to her office. Locking herself in there for as long as she would need to bury herself out of this mess. Probably for eternity.

The days passed by. Jack would consult on the case and leave. No quips, remarks or any banter other than what was to do with the case. You didn't meet her eyes when you saw her turn to look at you when you spoke about the victim or the suspect. You were doing as she said, work mates, although for now it would take a while to get to the mates part.

Two weeks passed by. You could tell it was starting to bother Gibbs. Not that it interfered with the work but it just left a bad feeling for everyone but you couldn't help it. You'd managed to look at Jack a few times now when she and the team paid attention to you when you spoke but there was still no light. No banter or the usual atmosphere that was Jack Sloane.

"Y/n. Jack has probably finished a few evals by now. Go see what she has." Gibbs stood with his baseball bat looking at the plasma with the current two suspects on it. He didn't look at you, just kept glaring at the screen, probably trying to get some kind of answer from their pictures. Sometimes, you had to admit, it did work but your eyes locked onto the baseball bat and you saw Ellie freeze in the corner of your eye. She knew you couldn't. You had told her what had happened about a week after the fact. You needed to get it off your chest and she was the only person who knew.

"Can't boss. Waiting for Captain Lance to call." It was a wonderful excuse and the most brilliant part was it was true. You were expecting a call from the Captain. He was in a meeting for most of the morning and said he'd give you a call back once he was free.

"Torres or Bishop can answer." He rebutted.

"They could also go and get the files." You snapped back. Truth me told, you regretted that immediately but again stood your ground or seat. Your eyes still locked on the baseball bat Gibbs had gripped tightly in his fingers, resting on his shoulder.

Torres' face was snapping back and forth like he was watching a volleyball or tennis match. He didn't dare to speak. You would rage at him internally for the one time he chose not to put his foot in it and help. The baseball bat probably shut his trap. Your eyes left Gibbs bat as you saw Ellie get up and walk towards the stairs.

"Bishop." Gibbs shouted, not yelled or screamed. Just said coolly and loud enough for Bishop to stop in her tracks at the first step.

"It's fine Gibbs. I'll be back before you finish this conversation." She reasoned in a level tone. It was true, she'd definitely be back before you would get up from your seat.

Gibbs moved the baseball bat. Swung it once, twice, not hitting anything just feeling the swing with his body and then placed it down in it's spot beside his desk. If you wanted a death sentence, one day you'd hide that bloody thing. It had caused too many of his computers to have to be replaced. You honestly don't know why the Director still let him have it. It pained McGee every time he picked it up. Gibbs moved, his eyes landing on you now. Now your eyes adverted and went back to writing a report you should've finished last night. He placed his hand on your desk in front of you. You didn't flinch, his glare boring into you but you still didn't look. You could see with your perfect peripheral vision his eye did that twitch thing like when he was trying to psych out a suspect in interrogation.

"Go." He breathed. This time deathly quiet and only for you.

You stopped typing. Taking a deep sigh, this was so pointless but he wanted to prove a point which you were almost, almost willing to give into at this point but you were stubborn. Not as much as the almighty Agent Gibbs but dam close. You sat back in your chair needing to get some distance and that's when you saw the flash of two women walking into the bullpen.

"Here, Gibbs." It was Sloane. Someone must've texted her because you knew Ellie hadn't moved until she followed Jack into the bullpen and sat back down at her desk. It was probably McGee because he was the only one smart enough to cover his tracks if Gibbs wanted to find out but then that was a dead give away it was him. Jack shoved the files down in between his hands on your desk because he was still staring at you and you him. It took a moment or a minute for Gibbs to straighten back up and pick up the files. You went back to your report like nothing happened.

You listened as Jack summarised her evals. Nick and Ellie added to the conversation. Deducting which one to go after and how. The plan was made and your phone rang, everyone stopped at the sound.

"Captain." You smiled, looking at everyone's eyes on you. The last eyes yours met was Jack and you could've sworn she gave you a sympathetic smile. She hadn't smiled at you in weeks. It threw you off. "Sorry Captain, mind if I transfer you to my cell. Thanks." You pressed a few buttons and then picked up your cell. "You there?" He answered and you walked threw everyone and to the elevator. You needed a coffee, air and to not be around everyone to concentrate on this call.

He was very helpful with answering questions. You got all the way to the coffee cart across the yard and he had answered and given all the information you needed. "Thank you Captain, I will keep you in the loop and as I said. If you remember anything else you have my number as well as my email. Thank you, have a nice day. Bye." You hung up after he said he goodbye and you walked up to order your coffee.

"Two long blacks with extra sugar." The voice from over your left shoulder spoke just when you opened your mouth and you froze. "Please." Jack offered the barista her card and paid.

"What are you-" You walked off to the side where everyone was waiting for their coffee's.

"Gibbs gave me that glare as you left. Thought it was about time we spoke again before he hits you with his baseball bat." She tried so hard to lighten the awkward, tense atmosphere between you. Almost.

"McGee text you?" You folded your arms across your chest, the tight confine bringing you some comfort on your wait for coffee.

You saw Jack sway back and forth before deciding to let up who her source in Gibbs team was. "Yes. Said Gibbs was about to vaporise you with his glare if you didn't get the files I had. Didn't realise you hate me enough to get killed by Gibbs stare." She huffed out a dry laugh.

Right now you were glaring at the two people who picked up their coffee order who were clearly in line before you but had the balls to get their coffee before you and make you stand here wanting to shrivel and die- wait- hate me enough? You snap your death stare from the glorious coffee getting walked away to Jack's sombre, heart broken eyes. Your glare deflates and your anger melts immediately.

"I don't hate you, Jack. I could never hate you. I love you too damn much." The words slip out like they were being pulled by an external force. Maybe that coffee that was now half way across the yard getting drunk by those loathsome lucky people. You see Jack's eyes widen and her whole face stunned with the words that she just heard.

"You love me?" She staggered. "After our conversation we've avoided each other, not said a word or barely looked at one another. I thought you couldn't stand to be in the same room as me, clear from this mornings bullpen situation. Which I'm sure the whole office is gossiping about now." She was rambling, trying to fill the spaces where you would, should speak but you were still coming to terms with your revelation. Because that was the first time you'd said it, admitted it, not just to Jack but to yourself. Now that you hear her words, it's clear how in love you are.

"Avoiding you was the only way I could cope. We came to and agreement and so I needed to find a way to live with it. To move on." You shrug, The barista calls your order and you breath finally. Taking the soothing liquid and swallowing it hard. It was then another realisation hit you. "We have the same coffee order?"

"It's like we are meant to be.." She hummed, laughter spilling from her lips as she enjoyed the coffee.

"Wait. What is happening right now?" You stop walking, you both stop. Jack's eyes met yours and there's the warmth, the gentleness, the love that you missed, staring back at you. Like it had always been.

Jack's spare hand reaches out and her fingers fiddle with yours. Her eyes slip to where her hand has now been clasped in yours. "You don't hate me, you love me." She's saying it out loud, like she's spelling it out, figuring it out for herself as well as you at this point. "We both wasted the past few weeks, crying, binge eating ice cream and replaying out elevator scene over and over in out heads." Her eyes catch yours again and you're smiling, giddily so.

"ice cream?" She tugs at your hand and your automatically move a little closer. You can feel her body heat now and realise just how cold you are standing out here in the cool fall air. It's not long til winter and you haven't gotten around to sorting out your wardrobe for winter yet so you are on the chillier side.

"Just me?" Her eyes are light with laughter. "Shame, I could use someone to share the calories with." She squeezes your hand and turns to start walking but you don't.

"What's happening Jack?" You're still lost. You think something out of this world has changed in the last minute or two but your eyes and ears may be deceiving you like that had been in your dreams for the past two weeks. But Jack, faithful, loving Jack confirms reality is far better and worse than your dreams ever could be.

It takes a moment. A second for you to realise she wasn't planning on confirming your question with a verbal answer. No, you'd said too many things, you both had. Words weren't helping either of you at this point. When she turned back to you, she closed the distance. Her hand holding your tight, gripping to make sure this was real. Her other coming up like it had dome all those weeks ago, threading through your loose hair, holding you still, in place. Her lips gliding over yours, smooth, sweet and slow. She was about to pull away from the best moment of your life when your brain kicked in, your heart pumped at thrice the speed and your hand gripping at the collar of her jacket to stay right where she was. The kiss only lasted a moment longer, enough for you to get a perfect memory of her, her supple, soft and always sweet lips. The tiny, piercing mew she left slip and the moan that your replied with.

"We are happening." Jack's eyes pierced yours then traced down the features of your face, the flushed cheeks and your tongue that swiped out to get another taste of her from your lips. "We are." She repeated and you kissed her again, because you could, because the tide at your feet was up to your knees now, the sand cementing you in metaphorical place and there was no way you were going to move without feeling her again and again. To hell if the whole Navy Yard knew about this by 1700 today. You had the woman of your dreams in your arms and this time no stupid nightmare, thought or workplace was going to get between that.

. . . .

This was half a page the last time I left it and today it blew up, so to speak, hope it’s alright. There’s a few moments in there that I really love but the rest im still unsure on.

Good morning :)

#jack sloane x reader #jack sloane #fanfic #writingmakesmehappy

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hellzyeahwebwielingessays · 4 years

Text

The Not-So-Amazing Mary Jane Part 34: AMJ #6.1

Previous Part

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Master Post

You know I considered ending this series after the initial arc. I may well discontinue it after awhile. But for now at least I am going to press on. Thus begins the second of what I and dead certain will be a shitty arc of AMJ. Pray for me.

Before we dive into the issue I want to quote for you the solicit for this issue:

WELCOME TO NY, MJ! After the CAN’T-MISS events of AMAZING MARY JANE #5, your favorite redhead is back home! First stop: Spider-Man! But has her relationship with Mysterio changed things with the love of her life? Next stop: a press tour! Complete with iconic New York guest-starring gigs, and OH NO WHAT’S THAT?!?

We spent over 10 years of seeing Peter and MJ separated in the 616 universe.

Thanks to Nick Spencer they blessedly got back together.

Across 25 issues we got to see Peter and MJ interact and 99% of the time it was awesome and helped some old and open wounds get a little better.

It wasn’t every issue, but that was good. Don’t want to get indulgent right?

Then this series came along and Peter/MJ interactions got limited again due to the nature of the story.

That was a shame but at least we were going to get a great MJ story right?

Except we didn’t. We got a story that paradoxically simultaneously celebrated MJ whilst also inadvertently character assassinating her and just being a disgusting fucking mess in general.

But here we have MJ back in New York where Spider-Man is. This issue is even promising us an interaction between them.

Sounds good right?

Let’s see if it will deliver.

As always here we get the recap.

And once more it gives us the full title of the movie in spite of the comic yet to have done that.

As for the ‘strength of his vision blah blah blah’, you know the drill by now. That’s all bullshit, Mary Jane would never connect to Beck over that or allow him to walk free because of that.

There is also a passage in the recap claiming that MJ connected to Beck over familiarity with his situation. The idea of this being their last chance to make it big. I’ve already talked about how that’s bullshit, see part 12.

Finally, the recap confirms that MJ has still failed to tell Peter the truth. Nice to know MJ will continue to be hardcore out of character moving forward into this new arc.

As the issue starts we see MJ introduced as a guest on some kind of chat show.

As has been the case throughout the series, the art is (stylistically at least) gorgeous.

Beyond that there is little to about this page. Except of course the fact that Mary Jane has thought captions.

Let me repeat that.

For the first time in six issues the readers are being given an insight into the thoughts of title character!

You know, if this were a brand new run, a re-launch or even say the beginning of an outright new era for a series maybe that’d be okay.

But it isn’t. It’s the same run, the same volume, the same story, merely the next arc. This is like if Nick Spencer hadn’t used thought captions throughout the first five issues of his ASM run but then randomly did for the Trivia Night storyline with Boomerang.

Thought captions are perhaps one of the single most potent weapons in the arsenal of a comic book writer. It allows for immense development of characters and enables writers to combine the strength of prose stories with those of more visual mediums.

Now, it’s not that it’s bad to simply not use them. But be consistent. Thought captions would’ve gone a long way in helping us understand Mary Jane better in the first arc along with elaborating upon her asinine decisions there.

Not to mention for a character so often written off as shallow or just eye candy wouldn’t an insight into her thoughts have helped dispel such accusations? Jed Mackay has been doing that pretty consistently since the first issue of his Black Cat run. There it has done wonders for Felicia and fleshed her out more.

It’s especially bad when we consider we got more of an insight into MJ’s thoughts and feelings in one issue of Nick Spencer’s ASM run than in the entire five prior issues of her solo title.

Anyway, as her interview with Reilly Redding begins there is some quips and verbal jousting going on. Reilly asks if the movie has wrapped but MJ explains that McKnight and the crew are still shooting in L.A. Reilly asks if MJ is sure about that.

This isn’t a positive, more a general observation. I’m not overly familiar with chat shows, let alone American ones, but to my eyes the host seems influenced by Ellen DeGeneres.

Anyway, let me dispense with the pettiest of gripes first. I hate Reilly’s hairstyle. I hate that hairstyle in general. To me it looks really stupid, like you went for a haircut but gave up halfway through. That’s not in anyway shape or form a fair criticism. I totally own that. It is just a tiny point that really bothers me personally.

On the more positive side, Williams continues her frustrating tendency to nail MJ’s personality traits within a problematic context. MJ’s social skills are one of her greatest powers and here her charisma and ability to play verbal tennis with Reilly is executed superlatively. When Williams does stuff like this she delivers some of the best Mary Jane writing in a long time. Which is why I hate saying and believing that she shouldn’t work on the character over all. She makes traits of MJ shine whilst nevertheless damaging the character over all.

Case in point, the movie is still filming right? And the Vulture (and probably the other members of the Savage Six) are still out there. Let’s be kind and presume they are in a new secret location. That means Vulture will still want to find out where they are, so all the people (and their families) from issue #4 are still going to be harassed by the Vulture’s paparazzi gang and potentially threatened by the six themselves.

Oh well, MJ still DGAF I guess.

Guess she doesn’t care that she’s appearing in public (in NYC of all places!) in spite of six villains now holding a very direct grudge against her.

Also, we FINALLY get the full name of the movie in the story itself, not the recap pages.

As the interview continues, MJ takes questions from the audience. One man asks what it’s like for her to play a real hero for the first time considering she’s played normal female roles before.

MJ responds that they are all heroes to her. She doesn’t really make the female role distinction quite the same way either. It’s more like she plays a hero who is also a woman.

The next question is about the weird press speculation about Cage McKnight’s conduct. The woman asking the question wants to know what he’s really like. MJ responds that he’s great, just dedicated to the craft and protective of his crew. She points out the paparazzi didn’t take kindly to him because he in turn didn’t take kindly to them hounding the movie.

Reilly then reveals McKnight is here for the interview.

Once more, Williams (with a huge help from Gomez’s art) conveys the charisma and social savvy of MJ here. Gomez’s body language demands particular praise. He conveys MJ’s beauty, flirtation, charm, etc. And he does it on multiple levels. The subtle genius of this page is how Gomez captures MJ putting on a performance for the public, to convince them she’s being utterly genuine and casual.

As for the dialogue, the best faith interpretation of the man’s question, he meant MJ has never played a super hero before, just normal non-powered women. He didn’t mean stereotypical female roles. That interpretation makes MJ’s response make more sense than if the former was the intent. So I’ll give Williams a pass and presume that was in fact her intent.

As for the second question it further highlights the unethical nature of allowing Mysterio to impersonate McKnight. The real McKnight has a lot of gossip and a new public image that was not of his own making. It wasn’t even an unfair fabrication by the press, it existed specifically because someone else was using his name, face and reputation for personal gain.

Also the audacity of Williams to directly reference issue #4 where Ken was harassed by the Vulture’s paparazzi squad but just ignore the fact that that should still be going on.

To MJ’s confusion Cage McKnight joins the interview. However, he doesn’t seem to know anything about the movie at all. He says the first he heard of the movie was when he was contacted for the interview. Meanwhile MJ frantically contacts Beck on her phone. Reilly notices and calls MJ out just before Beck confirms he’s still in L.A.

To MJ’s horror she realizes she’s sitting next to the real Cage McKnight who’s returned from his penguin expedition. Reilly asks why he came on the show if he doesn’t remember movie. Cage responds that just because he doesn’t remember making the movie doesn’t mean he didn’t. he explains that in the past he’s made movies in ‘artistic fugues’ and presumes this is just one such time.

*pinches bridge of nose*

Oh my Gooooooooood this is so dumb.

I get the desire to have humour in a story for the sake of levity. But the world of Spider-Man is not even remotely a borderline Deadpool or Harley Quinn or Lobo comic book. The humour doesn’t come from absurdity or a cartoonlike breaking of logic and reality.

And make no mistake, this is absurd. Scratch that, it’s contrived to the nth degree.

First of all I’m not that well read up on fugue states so I briefly consulted Wikipedia who had this to say:

Dissociative fugue, formerly fugue state or psychogenic fugue, is a dissociative disorder[1] and a rare psychiatric disorder characterized by reversible amnesia for personal identity, including the memories, personality, and other identifying characteristics of individuality. The state can last days, months or longer. Dissociative fugue usually involves unplanned travel or wandering and is sometimes accompanied by the establishment of a new identity. It is a facet of dissociative amnesia, according to the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).

-Wikipedia

Basically a fugue state is a sort of similar condition to Dissociative Identity Disorder, more commonly known as having a split personality. Only instead of an individual’s psyche fracturing into different personalities that take dominance, it’s someone’s mind running away with itself and becoming someone else. The individual forgets aspects of who they are and becomes someone else.

A very good example within fiction can be found in the Doctor Who episode ‘The Next Doctor’. In it a man named Jackson Lake suffers a traumatic experience and in the midst of it (through a sci-fi gizmo) absorbs a lot of information on the character of the Doctor. His traumatized mind consequently decides to imitate what it regards as the Doctor.

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What I’m saying is McKnight’s dialogue about his fugues are very probably bullshit unless someone can cite evidence to the contrary.

Using the above description though McKnight has gotten this rare psychiatric disorder multiple times and specifically in conjunction with his job as a filmmaker. Yeah, no. Not buying it and neither should you.

Being a film director isn’t a muscle memory skill you can’t forget no matter what. People with amnesia or Alzheimer’s disease do not forget how to play the piano or how to drive. But directing a movie? There are so many moving pieces to that job that rely upon you knowing how equipment and more importantly individual people operate. You have to bear a shitton of theory in mind too. It is physically impossible to repeatedly have fugues and then maintain that job.

And even if it was, oh my lord, that is the single most contrived thing in this series yet. Are you SERIOUSLY telling me that Mary Jane and Beck and the entire production got this lucky. The guy who’s reputation is what the movie is riding on happens to be someone who repeatedly deals with this incredibly rare mental condition?

Holy shit. That’s Superior Spider-Man levels of contrived.

And yet if you still swallowed all of that it still wouldn’t make sense!

McKnight presumes he made this Mysterio movie in a fugue state right? But he wasn’t, so he would remember his life during that period of time. Meaning that there are lots of public records and personal accounts testifying that he was making the movie at the same time that he knows he was observing penguins.

If you suffer amnesia or blackouts or DID then there are obviously gaps in time you cannot account for. The overwhelming majority of people who deal with those conditions make a point of keeping track of those gaps, for practical reasons if nothing else. So McKnight would know that there isn’t a gap in time he can’t account for and certainly not for the time period the Mysterio movie has been going for.

Shit, the movie is still filming! How the Hell does he believe he is still making this movie in a fugue state if he’s consciously aware of lacking any knowledge about it?

Not to mention if he’s been in the Falkland Islands this whole time. A quick Google search informed me that by plane it’d take over 14 hours to travel between the islands and Los Angeles. How the fuck is anyone supposed to ever commute that distance, let alone regularly. And McKnight sincerely believes he was doing both at the same goddam time?

You couldn’t even argue that McKnight believes he made the Mysterio movie before his penguin expedition. Because the movie is still being made and all his other ‘artistic fugues’ would have a movie as proof of what he was doing during the fugues.

This is just mind-numbingly stupid and lazy writing. It smacks so hard of Williams trying to desperately paper over the holes in her initial story.

More importantly, how fucking stupid is Mary Jane or Beck to never considered this possibility? I don’t mean the fugue bullshit, I mean the idea of McKnight just coming back from his penguin adventure.

Was Mysterio honestly so incompetent as to have never accounted for that? He seriously never had anything in place to make sure McKnight wouldn’t just decide to cut his journey short? Jesus, and I was dumb enough to buy his line about McKnight spending a year with the penguins.

Even putting that aside, what the flying fuck was MJ and Beck’s plan for when he eventually came back in the first place? Say he really did spend a year with the penguins then came back to the USA. Suddenly he has a movie with his name attached to it and lots of controversy. Let’s say McKnight’s fugue bullshit added up, there is no indication MJ or beck knew about them. So how the Hell were they planning on getting away with the obvious questions he or his friends or family would have had?

And if they did know about the fugues, why didn’t Williams address that before? That was kind of a lingering question hanging over the story until now wasn’t it?

God I can’t believe I paid for this!

On the next page MJ spots a guy in an Oni Mask backstage. She presumes he’s there to scare her as part of the show. However, she notices that the P.A.s haven’t seen him. Meanwhile Reilly set up a stupid game for them to play.

I got nothing to say about this page beyond McKnight’s dialogue. Williams is clearly trying to frame the real McKnight in a less than sympathetic manner. There could be many reasons why. I suspect one of the reasons is to incline us more towards Beck’s version of McKnight and to make us not feel as bad about Beck (and MJ) exploiting his identity.

Because being vaguely and lightly sexist means you deserve to have your career, public image, sense of self and life violated and damaged I guess?????????????

As Reilly brings in people from the audience to compete against McKnight and MJ, the latter thinks that there is something weirdly familiar about the Oni-masked man.

I have little to say about this page too.

Reilly’s attitude and facial expressions make me dislike her, even beyond her stupid haircut.

And as for the Oni-Masked man (I’ll just call him Oni for now) my only guess is that he’s affiliated with Mister Negative somehow. He had his goons wear Oni masks at times. And MJ interacted with them and Mister Negative himself in the popular 2018 Spider-Man video game by Insomniac; and it’s adapted comic book City at War. As such perhaps Williams is trying to tie-in or capitalize upon audience familiarity with that.

As MJ plays the dumb game he ponders if Oni could be a lesser member of Peter’s rogue’s gallery. Observing him again she notices him murder a civilian.

The dumb game annoyed me, but that’s just me.

Beyond that all I can say is that MJ’s dialogue about Peter’s rogue’s gallery is interesting. It proves that MJ has at least a working knowledge of Peter’s major foes. Which just further proves she would have been familiar with Mysterio and his crimes, just in case anyone was still clinging to the idea that she wouldn’t.

Also, the art and especially that splash page were beautiful.

Unfortunately for MJ, Oni notices she witnessed his crime. MJ is nervous and backs away in fear, annoying McKnight when she bumps into him. Meanwhile Spider-Man swings across town yelling for to hold on as he is on the way.

Gomez draws a nice Spider-Man.

Anyway, more of Williams making us dislike McKnight, see above for more on that.

MJ backing away in fear has me apprehensive. I don’t know if that’s in character for her. I guess the shock and surprise could’ve thrown her for a loop. And if Oni doesn’t notice her then it gives her a better chance of raising the alarm and capturing him.

I must say, I do like MJ being on the backfoot here after issues #1-5 made her often overconfident and over capable at times (see her nonchalance over the Savage Six in issue #5).

Also, isn’t MJ going to give Oni the benefit of the doubt? Maybe he’s sorry for murdering that guy just now. Maybe he wants to make amends by creating a movie about his life. So why is MJ so scared?

Sure, he just murdered someone, but what is that next to the laundry list of Beck’s crimes?

As it turns out, Spidey wasn’t on his way to save MJ. He was in fact en route to a French restaurant to have dinner with her. He is actually before MJ for a change.

I know Gomez isn’t the only artist on this issue and this doesn’t look like his work. Who ever is drawing it though is doing a very bland depiction of Peter with a overly wrinkly forehead.

The joke about him arriving first for a change was funny though.

Back at the studio, the show wraps up. McKnight insults Reilly’s profession just in case you’ve not realised he is a jerk yet. MJ thinks about persuading everyone to evacuate and searches for her phone. She notices Oni leaving and decides to leave her phone behind.

I already know MJ is going to pursue Oni herself. The stupidity of that aside why the fuck wouldn’t you grab your phone before doing that? You could use it no matter where you wind up and it wasn’t so far away that he’d get that much of a head start.

In fact, if Oni knows MJ is a witness why did he bother hanging around in the first place.

And why didn’t MJ raise the alarm immediately, the worst that would happen is the guy would run away. He’s just stealthily murdered someone and is in a mask. He obviously isn’t going to take the audience hostage, so if her priority is protecting innocents then raising the alarm immediately (or in fact earlier would’ve been her best bet. Yes that’d probably mean he’d have escaped but unlike with say Peter’s origin, getting him the Hell out of there would’ve reduced the immediate threat to the civilians present.

And on top of that if she figures he’s targeting her because she was a witness to his crime then by alerting everyone to his actions she’d have removed his need (at least for the moment) of sticking around to eliminate her, thus getting him away from the audience.

If he’s leaving anyway, MJ could also just grab her phone and put a call in to Peter, her super hero chums or the police and get them on the case immediately. If she was really so determined to go after this guy herself she still could but would’ve had a back up just in case he escapes or kills her. If she fails then she’s insured someone will still pursue him.

And as I copiously detailed in parts 19-22, MJ is not a super hero (and she knows that). She has no idea what this guy’s skills, weapons or powers might be, nor does she know what resources or assistance will be nearby to enable her to survive or subdue him. This isn’t like an armed cop, a martial artist or a super powered person going after a regular crook. She really doesn’t know what she is in for. Even if he is just a normal man, he clearly has a height and weight advantage over her, is obviously willing and capable of chocking a man to death and is armed. MJ meanwhile has little self-defence training, no weapons and hasn’t got the weight or muscle capable of taking him on if she’s backed into a corner. And she’s pursuing him back stage where presumably there is a fair chance of encountering many corners!

I understand that she doesn’t want to endanger innocent people, but there is no point in risking her life there is a much more practical and likely to succeed option available to her. Live to fight another day and all that. Yes the guy might hurt people during or after his escape but that’s a lesser evil vs. going after him herself when she is very unlikely to subdue him, far more likely to die and then the guy will get away without her having passed on any valuable intel on him to someone more qualified to pursue him.

Also once she sees the guy leaving she could just tell everyone the situation and ask the audience to stay put.

Basically if raises the alarm right there on stage and/or calls Peter or the authorities she is over all putting less people in danger and increasing the chances of the guy being apprehended in the long run. But no, instead she is going to gamble on the far slimmer odds that she can capture the guy.

Not to mention, why would the guy even give a shit that MJ saw him? Why would MJ give a shit that she is a witness to his crime? He is wearing a mask! She couldn’t identify him even if she went to the police. It is literally part of the reason her goddam boyfriend wears a mask!

And by the way, are there no security cameras backstage? Wouldn’t MJ consider that or Oni himself?

McKnight apologises to Reilly (so not that much of a jerk I guess) as MJ pursues Oni (barefooted) backstage. As she does this she rehearses what she will say to Peter in her head. This entails telling him that she had to get away from the killer. As she is thinking about this the body of Oni’s victim is discovered. Backstage she comes face to face with Oni who refers to her by name.

Yay. MJ deliberately planning on lying to Peter again. It’s so awesome that Williams understands why this isn’t a really bad idea for the reasons I pointed out in part 17.

By the way, I suspect Oni knows MJ personally rather than just recognizing her work.

I’m actually going to leave it there for now as the next part of the story has a shitton to unpack.

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#Leah Williams #Amazing Mary Jane #Mysterio #Quentin beck #Spider-Man #mary jane watson #Mary Jane Watson Parker #mjwatsonedit #MJ Watson #peter parker #Doctor Who

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emmaofnormandy · 4 years

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~Two worlds collide: when Odin visits Thomas Howard, 3rd Duke of Norfolk~

It had been a long while ever since Odin had visited Earth. Such visits were rare, but contained the purpose to keep an eye on humankind. Throughout ages, he accompanied different tribes with different beliefs in different times of Midgard’s history. Knowledge’s a purpose there should be no limit to hold him from achieving it, it was his favourite saying.

So far, Middle Ages had been his favourite days to look upon when he was not busy with his own doings back at Asgard. There were plural faiths, struggles in between but also a considerable advancement from here and there. However, ever since a king of England won a battle in Agincourt, France, some day in the 15th century, Odin’s attentions had been drawned to that small, but far from insignifant island.

The year now was 1554 and there were no more Plantagenets to occupy the English throne or interesting wars to wage upon. Nonetheless, there was a new dynasty in the power, responsible for new changes here and there. It was the reign of it’s first reignant queen, Mary Tudor, but the reason why Odin was going to Earth in such days was not because of her, her past or anything of the sort. He was going to take away the soul of a character who was seen with very few good eyes by most people who knew him.

Nonetheless, Odin was eager to hear history from that man’s eyes. Thomas Howard, the 3rd duke of Norfolk, was ailing at the Kenninghall’s palace. His servants and family were aware that he was dying, but Odin managed to get close to the old duke without notice.

It was close to twilight by the time Odin arrived at Kenninghall. Thomas, in the meantime, was found in his bed, staring at the nothing, completely unaware of his surroudings. The comfort of his pillow was all he held onto, as the blankets, too heavy and warm, were pushed down his belly to ease the unbearable heat that troubled his body. The candle light was swift and the wind coming out of the windows seemed to suddenly make the bedchamber too cold.

Thomas sighed, but even doing so hurt his lungs. He wished he could sleep, but there were too many memories, voices of people who were there no more, left to haunt him. A small moan escaped his lips, for death would be very welcoming right now... and there would be no need for the cold or the heat to struggle over for his body.

“I see my lord is in pain”, a male voice captured Thomas’s attention for there had been none lately who would distract him from the swings of moods that dying made of him. But also because it was a voice he could not identify, which was interesting.... And yet disappointing when he saw this was just a servant.

Odin saw there was distrust in those green eyes, which amused him. Disguised as a poor peasant man who worked in the household of the duke, there was no surprise that he would be received with unspoken hostility. Nonetheless, even so he managed to make the duke more comfortable. Once this was done, Odin took a seat nearby and said:

“I am aware I am in no place to speak with your lordship”, he thus began at last, “but forgive me sire, for there’s something in you that makes me forget my forwardness.”

“H-How so?” the duke managed to speak, too tired to hold onto hostility as he knew he was in no position to act so arrogant.

“You are History in itself, my lord. I’d like to hear some of your memories concerning the past”, said the peasant lad, who was the Norse deity.

Thomas seemed to enjoy the compliment. No one cared about this anymore...of who I once was, of what I brought that shaped me who I am... or was.

“The past is past for a reason, young man”, he spoke in a melancholic mood. “Why would you like me to dwell on it?”

“Not to dwell, sir, but to pass forward your wisdom. Surely there are rich experiences you must’ve taught your children, for example. I carry no importance to you whatsoever, as I am merely a servant, but one who seeks the knowledge in any opportunity.”

Thomas managed to smirk.

“Even as if comes from a dying man?”

“Especially so.”

As if recovering strenghts the duke thought to have long lost, he adjusted on bed and said:

“I told my children, but alas... I don’t think they listened.”

There was a pause. Odin noticed the man’s eyes sparkling briefly, a flush painting those cheeks, only to pale again.

“I loved her, you see. I never admitted this publically, there should be no reason to do so. But I did love her.” He began.

Again, another pause. But Odin, knowing no bounds, said:

“Whom are you referring to, sir? Your lady wife?”

“Not Elizabeth, nay!” Thomas ardently protested, before softening. “I’ve meant dear Anne. At the reign of her uncle, Richard III, we were betrothed, an arrangement made by this king as he favoured my family very dearly. However, the battle of Bosworth happened and we were no more the darlings at court. Those were difficult days, but by the 90′s, we were back at the new king’s grace. He favoured this betrothal and we were thus married. She was very gracious, the most beautiful lady I’d ever put my eyes on.”

Odin smiled.

“Was she like her sister, the queen?”

Lost in days that would not go back, so said Thomas:

“Every inch like her if not the better. She was kind and good, loving and dutiful. I could have not asked for a better wife. I do not speak only in terms of rank. As you may see, what was I if not the son of a duke and she, the daughter of a king? She was meant to be archduchess of Austria!”

“Did she love you, though, sir?”

Thomas smiled down at him.

“Aye, she did, in spite of everything. She did give me children, whom we named firstly Henry, after the generous king. Our second boy received the named of me, Thomas. There was even a third boy, whom we named Edward, after his maternal grandfather, the English king, and then we had a little girl whom we named Elizabeth, both after the queen and the queen dowager, even though she was not living in those days.”

But the smile did not last long, so Odin waited to hear more of such a man. Thomas, after quietening a bit, sighed, even with difficulty, and casted a glance to the man who gave him more ears than his sons ever did. He proceeded:

“But none of our children survived infancy. Anne was desolated. It saddened her good heart and soul, those losses were too much. She shared her birthday with a brother... a brothe she too lost. You surely must have been told of the tale of the princes in the tower?”

Odin nodded.

“Good. You have a wit for a peasant, young man.” Thomas smirked. “Well, as I was saying, Richard III, however kind he may have been, took the crown from his nephews. It’s a mystery that remains until our days of what happened to Edward V, the true king, and his brother, the duke of York. Anne panicked when a pretender, whom we later knew him to be an impostor named Perkin Warbeck, announced to be Richard Plantagenet. Her own dear brother. She did not wish to believe it, and even when the impostor received the death penalty for what he did, it shook her spirits.”

“Did she believe it was him?”

“To be honest with you? No. She told me that Edward, her oldest brother, was never one too healthy. So she thought he may have died in the Tower, although she blamed Richard for it nonetheless. As for Richard... Anne believed him to be alive, however, not turned into a man like Perkin.”

“How so?” Odin asked, intrigued.

Thomas smirked.

“Richard would not have behaved like a beggar the way Warbeck did. And Warbek was proud, but messy in many, many ways. I don’t say that only because I’m a Tudor supporter by all means.” He shrugged his shoulders.

Then it occurred to Odin and he said:

“Do you know where he is, sir?”

Thomas narrowed his eyes at the blunt servant who, against his own will, had made him like him.

“What’s it you speak of, man?”

There was something different in the lad when he responded the duke, or perhaps he was just fearless when he did:

“I think you know where Richard Plantagenet is, and your lady wife knew it also.”

Thomas opened his mouth to protest but began to cough violently. Odin calmly offered the duke a glass of water, aiding, with his secretive powers, him in the proccess. Suddenly feeling better, Thomas adjusted himself on bed and replied:

“You are very presumptuous to assume that we’d know such a thing.”

“Even if the late duke of York was alive, he could not pose any threat. England’s a Tudor now and the queen...”

“...is possibly barren and will be succeeded by her half-sister”, interrupted Thomas, dryly so.

Odin arched his eyebrows.

“So do you admit the duke lives? Otherwise, you’d not say such a thing. The queen is young, she could produce heirs...”

Thomas rolled in his bed uncomfortably.

“I am admitting nothing.”

Odin gave the duke another glass of water. Although suspicious of such a lad, Thomas sensed he could trust him.

“I am a keeper of secrets, sir.”

Thomas knew the other was not lying, but even so...

“I’ve kept this with me for long years. Even from the king himself.”

“Which king do you speak of, my lord?”

“Henry the Seventh, of course”, retorted the older male, impatient. “Who else could have been?”

But unnaffected by the duke’s humour, Odin said:

“Well?”

Thomas did not like his impertinence, although at the same time... it was a fresh welcoming. The servants in general usually avoided his presence and even his children feared him.

“Richard was, indeed, alive. He was sent to live in the North of the kingdom in the Augustinian priory.” He took a deep breath. “Two weeks after Richard III had the young duke to accompany his regal brother at the Tower, Edward V died of natural causes. There was already growing a great deal of panic of the children being dead, the two legitimate sons of King Edward the Fourth, and people comprehensively blamed their king for it. Well, he trusted my father, as I’ve said, we were in great favour at the Yorkist court. My father was the responsible for taking the duke in security back to Norfolk and then to the lands of Northumberland.”

“Why so far North if they were loyal to the Yorkist cause?”

Thomas frowned. He knows too much for a peasant lad. But Odin was unimpressed by the old duke’s suspicious. So he added:

“I ask it because it’s common knowledge that the North is more traditional, and that King Richard III was kept in great esteem by the northerns. So my father told.”

“I see...” Thomas was partially convinced. “Well, then you know that this was why. The Northerns were more reliable, but even so it was not something that would go out simply as that, for they could have used young Richard as their pawn as it happened with Lambert Simnel. As I was saying, there were agreements from both parts that Richard would live quietly. Every now and then when the Queen and her sisters had the opportunity to go in pilgrimage, they would visit the duke without the king’s knowledge. Turns out that Richard adopted another name and enjoyed a quieter life, so he really never became a trouble for the Tudors.”

“A secret that died with the queen and her sisters, eh? The key to solve the mystery...”

“It’s for the best.”

“But your lordship claims that the said duke is alive?”

Thomas smirked.

“He was. How did he outlive the king’s swift change of faith? Don’t bother asking me.”

“He must be a sad person, though. Outliving all of his family only to see what this came to be...”

“Politics can be cruel when given to the wrong hands.” Thomas shrugged. “We all do wrongs when in power. But Richard was a good man. I’ve seen him only twice, if that’s what you like to know.”

“So he is not alive?”

“Nay. He died only two years ago. We were born the same year and they say it’s the Plantagenet blood that keeps us living too much.” He chuckled a bit. “But even so... Anne had good recollections of him. She would have named one of our children after him too... and yet she died before...”

He cleared his throat and glanced away. It was night and the wind began to blow cold again. There were signs of an upcoming storm, but Thomas was too lost in his memories to bother with that.

Odin, in turn, waited. He was patient.

“I thought you’d leave”, he heard the old man say. “They all do.”

“I don’t, sir. You are a good man.”

He laughed, but the sound of it was sad.

“I’ve seen two nieces, blood of my blood, condemned to death on false charges. I’ve lost many relatives because of my damn pride. I am no good man, lad. Far from it.”

“Your lordship sounds bitter.”

Thomas grimaced at how freely he was being spoken to.

“It’s because I am. How could it be otherwise?”

“Many men claim that the death of a beloved one changes a man’s nature.”

“A philosopher now are we? Although that could well be said of Thomas Seymour, if what I was told is correct. But no matter, I am responsible for what was done. I did not work alone on any schemes, my man.”

“How so?”

Thomas sighed, impatient, his eyes filled with scenes that, without his knowledges, Odin could see.

“Men like Cromwell, Wolsey, Gardiner, Dudley, Seymour... Well, they were no lambs either. Cromwell was a friend of the Boleyns, if my memory is not betraying me, and yet he was the first to turn his back off when they needed the most. He too has his share of guilt.”

“But he died.”

“He was executed. Fairly so”, Thomas corrected him. “But I was almost. I was this close. The boy king reigned and yet I outlived him.”

Silence stood between them. Odin knew was almost time, but it was when Thomas said:

“I do wish things were different. That she was not foolish.”

“Who?”

“Both my nieces. Katherine’s crime was her youth. She was not well advised, was not even prepared for the damn role”, he spoke with remorse.

“It was the other queen whom you judged, sir.”

Thomas’s felt the wound open at those words. They were true, and he was but an old man, a reminiscent of the past and glorious court of Henry VIII...However, being reminded of was entirely difference. He was accostumed to have to live with people pretending and lying at his face. Odin knew that, but he was not scared of the old man and the duke knew it.

“If I were possessed of my judgement, you would have been killed.”

“And I would have gladly gone to death”.

That was the response Thomas hoped to hear.

“What? Are you mad?”

“I might be, good sir. I am one filled with a thirst for knowledge.”

Thomas did not keep the eye contact too long. He knew there was something odd in that man, and there was this feeling he was not a merely servant. When he began to make the sign of cross, Odin stood and decided it was time.

“Why are you so fearful, sir? What is done is done. There is nothing you can do to repair that. Even if you could get rid of me, what I say remain it so. You did lot of wrongs, indeed, though I believe you were mostly motivated by circumnstances. I can tell you that when it comes to human being, there’s no black or white and no one, absolutely no one, is right in judging one another. You are proud as the day you had been when you were told you’d espouse a daughter of York. You remain proud as the day you sentenced your own niece to die. But you did what you could. And that’s that.”

Thomas stared wide-eyed at the peasant who stood before him.

“W-Who are you?”

As Odin revealed his true self, night turned to light. A smirk crossed his lips:

“It does not matter who I am, when I know who you are. It’s time to come home. Your wife and children await. So do your nieces and the rest of your family.”

“B-But...”

“They forgive you. You are, after all, a man of your own days, Thomas Howard, Duke of Norfolk.”

And on that day, Odin gained more knowledge, acquired more secrets, but also befriended a man often judged by the times of men. Thomas Howard, cleansed of his sins, gladly joined Anne of York in a heavenly place where their children surrounded them and all was what was meant to have been: happy and chill.

#Odin #Thomas Howard #3rd duke of Norfolk #crossover universe

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inquistior-a · 4 years

Text

@bornpariah asked : 𝙺𝙸𝚂𝚂 —— 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙾𝙽𝙴 𝙸𝚂 𝙹𝚄𝚂𝚃 𝚂𝙴𝙻𝙵 𝙴𝚇𝙿𝙻𝙰𝙽𝙰𝚃𝙾𝚁𝚈, 𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙻𝙻𝚈

‘ Sit up. ’

A gentle but impatient command as Halwn slips back into the bed and braces his back against the headboard, legs stretched across the coverlet. Dorian is half across him again almost immediately, and half back to sleep as well. It’s likely only interest in the promised present that’s kept an eye cracked open---Halwn chuckles at his expression, and smooths a thumb across one of the mage’s sleep-disheveled brows, smiling a little wider at the impatient huff it earns him because, of course, he will not be able to preform the attempted procedure to Dorian’s particular standard.

He has a small wooden crate in his hands, fetched from where he had concealed them the night before in the alcove behind his desk. It is a small crate, smaller than he’d like, no bigger than an egg crate. He pulls the lid free with an easy jerk, revealing inside a cluster of two dozen oranges carefully packed with straw. The fruits are small and ripe and vibrant as spessartite stones, smelling strongly of sunlight and a warmth that their current climate sorely lacks. Not that Halwn minds the cold overmuch---but they are not meant for him.

‘ Do you remember the morning at Haven, the first you ate with Varric and I at the tavern? They served you stone-meal and boiled potatoes under really dreadful hard-fried eggs. You started in immediately on the failings of Southron cuisine and, when Varric insisted that it couldn’t be so much better in Tevinter, you described to him the breakfasts you ate as a boy. Sweet yeasted breads dredged in citrus blossom honey, rose petal preserves mixed with chopped cashews and almonds and spread on slices of pear---coffee and sweet milk and coconut. You described bowls of oranges, peeled perfectly bare by use of magick, piled so high that you could not see across them. You carried on for nigh a half an hour, through the whole meal, and Varric vowed he’d never eat with you again, since the cooks would surely spit in your food, and the food of anyone fool enough to be seen sitting with you, after a tirade like that. ’

All the time he speaks, Halwn has been peeling one of the little fruits in his surprisingly nimble hands. Nimble for their size, at least, and delicate with the orange---used to handling such tender things, and many more tender even than this. Seedlings and new-cut blossoms. A foal’s confused head, eyes barely open. Hurt hands, frightened faces. All of that is far from his mind, now.

‘ They all thought you were ridiculous---and you were, a little, ’ something sharp sinks into his left thigh, and Halwn is reasonably sure it’s a short nip of teeth. He chooses to ignore it for the moment. ‘ But I had never longed so acutely to taste something as I did the things that you described. I knew then that your excess wasn’t pretension or pride, as the rest suspected. It was passion, and love, for the place you’d come---pouring out of you like light. ’

‘ That was when I knew I’d have you, ’ it’s sly, and goading, and far more tease than truth. Halwn had known he was lost, then---whether or not anything would come of it, he hadn’t yet allowed himself to consider. His inclination towards the newly-arrived and universally mistrusted Evil Magister had begun in a world that technically did not exist. Returning to the reality of a relevant timeline had done nothing to shatter the stunning clarity of the feeling. ‘Your inclination’ was how Josephine had nervously described it, too polite to call it what it plainly was: an infatuation past a simple interest. ‘ I was fairly certain that I’d been born for you, regardless of whatever claim it was supposed that Andraste had made upon me. ’

The severity of the statement is blunted somewhat by humour, by their shared flirtatious lightness---but only somewhat and still, Halwn knows he can’t linger on it long, or the truth of it will sit like a rock between them. Not yet, perhaps. It’s true, and he isn’t ashamed to share it---but it’s not to be dwelt on when it might make his lover feel unsafe. That’s utterly opposed to Halwn’s purpose, now, which is nothing more than delight, and tenderness, and an easy smile.

It’s not easy to forget that, now---now, with oranges piled in his lap, and Dorian’s chin resting on top of his thigh, lovely grey eyes inherently sharp and yet somehow softened, almost unfocused with affection as they watch him work. Bright with amusement, with pleasure. Halwn carries on peeling the oranges, and doesn’t indulge in too long a direct stare. If he does, he’ll have to kiss him, and then the trail of his thoughts will certainly be lost.

‘ I saw these in a market stand in Montclair six days ago, when we rode past on our return from the capital. They’re very rare in this part of the world, as I’m sure you’ve noticed. They will not grow well south of Tevinter. Not even so near to it as Ostwick. I thought you should have one, to please you---but then I thought you should have more, so many that you could not see over the pile of them, as you had when you were a boy. Josephine thought I’d gone mad---or else she suspects I’m paranoid over the fear of developing scurvy. ’

By now, Halwn has divested three small fruits of their rinds. He begins to separate their segments out, tenth by tenth, and offers the first of a ridiculous many to Dorian. The Inquisitior isn’t surprised when his lover takes the section of fruit with his teeth rather than hand to hand---not surprised, but still obviously pleased. As if it were a reward for that blatant indulgence, Halwn sweeps his thumb, sweet with the perfume of the oranges’ juice, across the mage’s lower lip, and bends over low enough to kiss him. Dorian’s mouth is sweet with the oranges, too, sweet and sharp with citrus. It’s crushingly appropriate, blisteringly beautiful, and one kiss turns into a second, a lingering third. As it always seems to be when he is in good health, Dorian’s skin is warm to the touch, and the flare of the Anchor, as well as the little sing of nerve tension that accompanies it, indicates their shared thrill, something like the surge of hearts. Dorian’s pleasure, so attenuated to magickal manifestation, pulls---and the Anchor is a well.

Where it’s rooted, Halwn cannot say---though, in moments such as this one, it feels as though it’s drawing out of the center of him, pulling from a bottomless place that had opened up only after the first time that Dorian had stepped insistently into his arms.

‘ I’m sure a mage could peel them more completely, though I challenge him to claim he gets half so much pleasure in doing it for you as I do---and, though I bought all the merchant had, it may not be enough to match the excess you were once accustomed to... unless the bowl is very small. Will you forgive me? ’

The rest is all laughter and equally teasing placation, kisses and hands and more. Eventually, the oranges tumble to the floor half forgotten---which is a shame, since they’d ended up as a donation once the merchant realized who she was selling them to. Wasting the fruit of the faithful is the least of the charges against him, certainly, but Halwn would take much worse for a moment or two more of this particular kind of peace: the surreal, almost ghost-like sensation of home.

#bornpariah #answered.#this is honestly peak tenderness #you said 'give him #gifts'#and hal trevelyan responded with 'i remember everything you've ever said #to me and once you mentioned oranges so let me peel two dozen oranges for you'#just really the pinnacle of gay nonsense that's what this is #just #it's love folks

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awhilesince · 4 years

Text

Friday, 19 February 1830

Friday 19

8 3/4

1 5/60

Incurred a cross last night gently thinking of Pi (Mariana) Dressed in an hour a little motion getting up cutting open and reading Nysten’s dictionary de medicine jusqu’à 11 heures – Dejeuner en 25 minutes –

from 11 1/2 to 3 read over my letter to M– (Mariana) and wrote one end, and sent it to the post office about 1 to “Mrs Lawton 16 South Parade, Leamington, Warwickshire, Angleterre” – kind letter of chit chat – mentioned dining at the embassy on Friday and should have dined at the de N–s’ (Noés’) on Sunday and gone to the ball on Monday but prevented by sick headache – never fear more groundless than my becoming so wedded to the world as not to relish more rational and less exciting enjoyments – say I am no grumble against the world, it is not in my nature to be so ungrateful, but if I must make mental wreck it is not likely to be on shifting shoals of people but rather on dreary reefs of solitude – but will not enter on this subject now – will hear what Miss MacL– (MacLean) says – surely something will be hit upon by and by – no fault to find with Cameron – she is very well conducted and obliging – not more careless than probably others would be and anxious to do as well as she can, that I am desired of giving her chance – she would do well enough if M– (Mariana) was with me – but she is not in fact, a servant quite to suit me – she has all learn and “I, vous savez bien pourquoi, am the person to train up a lady’s maid in the way she should go” – If she cannot at last get to suit me, I shall, at all rates, not part with her till I have some reasonable hope of getting a better – mention Miss MacL–‘s (MacLean’s) so excellent account of M–‘s (Mariana’s) looks and spirits – and her having told Miss MacL– (MacLean) she meant to pay me a visit soon – asked what this might mean –

wrote 3 pages of a small sheet to Miss H– (Hobart) – thanks for the little cardcase – delighted to find I was not rubbed out of her remembrance – Surely she would understand that it was no complaint on my part to say, I would far rather have this little specimen of her handiwork than all the fine things that all the people ever made at Spa – said I instantly recollected her own – Charles shook hands with him and claimed our

left margin: acquaintance of almost 2 years standing, dating from Edinborough May 1828. Was not this wonderful for me whose memory gently serves me so ill in remembering people – mentioned dining at the Embassy on Friday myself and Lady S– (Stuart) de R– (Rothesay) the only ladies at dinner –

tho’ several came afterwards – had a little chit chat with Lady S– (Stuart) de R– (Rothesay) like her very much – she is naturally quick and clever – has 2 ideas when other people have one – Glad she was at Wimpole, because everybody delighted to have her and I know she always enjoys herself – thought, too, change of air would do both her and Lady Stuart good – knew not whether it was unreasonable or not de ma part, but began to think it long since I heard from Lady S– (Stuart) mention my letter this day week from Madame de Hagemann – concluded with saying my head would let me write no more than ever affectionately hers – Stupid sort of letter but my head ached biliously, and I could not write better –

then wrote full 1/2 sheet to Miss MacL– (MacLean) delighted with Mr Lindeley’s so good account of her – thought he seemed come here to see if he could turn his services to better account than at home – but what I had read on the subject was not likely to flatter his hopes much – he seemed unprepared for the necessary etiquette about being presented to the royal family here – made no other observation respecting him – no hint that I thought him vulgarish anything but highbred –

after 2 George brought in the card of “Mr Willoughby Crewe Hotel Aubin Rue Rivoli” with parcel containing the bond I gave M– (Mariana) at Lawton in 1826 for £200, and her marriage settlement bond, and the little dialogue she wrote (very well done) addressed to the lower class explanationary of her Friendly Society rules –

went out at 3 10/60 – my aunt with me – drove to the bois de B– (Boulogne) walked 1 3/4 hour my usual round by Boulogne and Auteil – back to the Porte Maillot – En passing left at the embassy my letter (sans envelope) to “Miss Hobart Honorable Lady Stuart’s Whitehall”, and my letter to “Miss Maclean 12 New Street, Dorset Sqare” – home at 5 3/4 – gave out 2 dozen servants wine – dressed dinner at 6 1/2 – read partly aloud, the whole of the paper –

came to my room at 8 1/2 – read my letter one full 1/2 sheet and 1 page another 1/2 sheet very kind letter from Lady Stuart dated Wimpole 15 February – but a so so account of herself – there is a place on her ankle Mr Freeman wishes her to be careful of –she feels as if she had no strength in her legs to support her – Alas! the infirmities of old age are creeping thickly on her – yet a little while and I shall have lost this good friend – speaking of Lord Graves and our sorry etc etc she adds “there is no doubt “higher powers had urged him to forget and forgive and that he could not stand it …… he must have quite lost himself as starvation attends his family as all he did dies with him – It seems Mr Charles Stuart is only come for a fortnight – then read my letter from Miss MacL– (MacLean) 4 pages and page and a few lines of crossing of 1/2 sheet envelope – unclosing 2 1/2 sheet notes from Lady Anderson (wife of Sir James A– (Anderson) lately ruined by failure of his steam carriage speculation) soliciting £1 to buy in a steam horse – it was said it might be bought in at this, tho’ it cost Sir James £80 – the intention was to exhibit this horse at one shilling each person on admission – what a resource! she finding herself in a family way, will not appear on the stage of a year – Miss MacL– (MacLean) wisely declined advancing the money herself, but did what she could to collect it among Lady A–‘s (Anderson’s) country women (the Irish) –

Miss MacL– (MacLean) gives a good account of herself about a page on the whole much less there usual on the high merits and success of Mr Long – “I am continuing as well as I think I ever shall be, and happy to feel myself as I am but I shall “say no more on my health but leave you to the faithful reporters at Whitehall who are at this moment at Wimpole” which I think rather an indecorous proceeding Henry having twice passed thro London without calling and they were promised him as their inducement to the visit but I mean never more to utter a word on the subject to Vere she has had all sorts of warning from me and may heaven direct her to what is best I wish with all my heart a vain wish that she had never accompanied you to Paris as the things of this passing world occupy her far more than formerly “There is a lady of comfortable independent fortune here Sarah Lawrence’s most intimate friend – who is wishing for a Travelling Companion for some years – she goes in spring to Paris” …… Miss MacL– (MacLean) mentioned me – anxious to hear all about me – “I do not know her much – she seems kindhearted – money in sufficiency, a harp in her room, looks musical – she seems healthy and good humoured – and speaks thro’ her nose smart in her dress – and I should think a few years older than you” – good enough! but I now feel that it is necessary to inquire well into Miss MacLs recommendations I know nothing of Mrs Lawrence were the lady a friend of Lady Ss or of Veres the case would be different as it is I doubt much besides my fancy runs on Miss MacKenzie Miss MacL– (MacLean) drolly enough concludes with (quite abruptly brought in) “Mrs Lawton is your best friend – no one loves so enthusiastically as she does” – this strikes – I know and believe it –

Coffee at 9 40/60 – came to my room at 10 1/4 – from then to 11 1/2 wrote the whole (but the 2 first lines) of the above of today – fine day – Fahrenheit 36° I think when I got up this morning, but 40° at 10 1/4 p.m. – a very little sun today, but not much –

Letter this morning 1 page from Miss Pickford Place de Noailles no. 49 Marseille Bouches du Rhône February 14 – “Fahrenheit 55° 1 p.m.” – to ask me to see and get Madame Marcet sent off if possible to Marseille as they stay there till the 24th instant – Reading a little anatomy Cloquet volume 2

(SH:7/ML/E/12/0167)

#annelistercodebreaker #annelister #paris #1830 #paris february 1830

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