#thanks for coming to my ted talk i love these sillies SO much
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Not an april fools post, just finished some art i started yesterday lol. my boys <3
ill take this time to share my silly queer headcanons for them
Giorno is so transfem ace to me, she uses she/he prns. Ungalo would say "You're one of dem queers arencha?" He has ZERO gay thoughts (lie)(hes bi). Rikiel is nonbinary, and presents more fem, with any pronouns. Donatello is gay.
#thanks for coming to my ted talk i love these sillies SO much#jojo#modmakesart#jjba#jojos bizzare adventure#stone ocean#stone ocean spoilers#rikiel#rykiel#donatello versus#ungalo#giorno giovanna#giorno#brando bros#dios sons#digital art#myart#fanart
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Suchhhhhhh a good day
•lovely sunny weather but not too hot
•didn’t have work and don’t have work tomorrow
•took a shower in the morning and had my hair braided right after while still wet
•got bakery goods mmm
•made toffee and chopped some up which was really satisfying
•wore two different comfy cute outfits that I really enjoy and feel myself in
•blasted ridiculous songs on the way back from the bakery and looked ridiculous in a lovely way
•crocheted blanket I’m working on
•DIDNT GET A HEADACHE DIDNT GET A GLINT OF HEADACHE NOT EVEN AN INKLING OF PREHEADACHE
As far as getting things accomplished I didn’t do hardly anything but in the business of enjoying life I excelled today!
#my thoughts#one of the outfits was my carhartt overalls with ny light blue tank top#the other is an athletic tank top with athletic shorts but both actually fit me which I haven’t had any that really fit in years so woooo#oh and it’s a black tank top :) I love wearing black and I thought for a long time it was because wearing color made me anxious#but now that I’m pretty much over that I think I just really love wearing black#I feel sexy in it >:)#saying that as someone who literally never rarely ever feels or is compelled to feel “sexy#I think I’m experiencing something like gender euphoria of late#pardon me for using terms not really suited to my situation I don’t know how else to explain it#but basically I’ve never been enthusiastic really about myself and how I present in the world#being called a woman felt not good. felt like I was not a woman because a woman was supposed to be someone who looked and acted certain#“desirable ways#like I was not what society considered to be a woman. girl was fine I guess and I definitely wasn’t a guy. I just felt like woman was#an incredibly high standard to meet that I did not meet nor really wanted to meet. being called a woman made me internally cringe#I’ve known for a while there’s no right way to be a woman but I think I’ve finally internalized that and am at a point#where I truly love myself and accept myself. and now being a woman seems all right. so being a woman feels euphoric to me#and expressing myself in clothing and other presentations is incredibly fun and feels euphoric#I never really had much of an interest before. probably because I felt like there was some standard I had to meet that I couldn’t and didnt#want to meet. but now I’m discovering what I really like and doing things because it’s fun and silly and goofy and it’s so FUN#anyway. thanks for coming to my ted talk#playing around with gender is beneficial to everyone
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regarding dr ratio's team join voiceline with aventurine
idk where it originated from but i've been seeing this notion that the ENG voiceline is horribly mistranslated and ratio is much more caring and friendly in the original CN. THIS IS LITERALLY NOT TRUE HE IS JUST AS BITCHY IN BOTH LANGUAGES
as a native chinese speaker i actually really love hsr's localisation and i would like to clarify the misconception + explain the cultural nuance/context behind this particular voiceline
i think this tweet might've been the original source for this misconception? op's translation of the CN line is very literal and completely lacking in cultural nuance. while the sentence 管好你自己 does literally translate to "take care of yourself", it lacks the automatic positive connotation that this sentence has in ENG. CN is a high context language -- aka the meaning of a sentence can be totally different based on context clues like tone, body language, etc.
ratio's tone in this line is not the tone of someone who is concerned for a friend. it's standoffish. when said in this kind of tone, the meaning of 管好你自己 is closer to "mind your own business", making the ENG "keep to yourself" a more accurate localisation.
in addition, the word 管 has connotations of controlling/managing something -- directly translating this to "take care of yourself" means it's missing a lot of important nuance.
granted, the second half of the line is a bit unnecessarily aggressive in ENG. the CN is more like "I have no need for your concern", and explicitly saying that he believes aven's concern to be "false" in ENG is definitely a lot ruder than the original line.
However. in my opinion it's not Too far off base. the way he emphasises the second half of that voiceline in CN carries an implication that he actually disdains aven's concern; we can extrapolate from context clues that he feels this way because aven's concern is just an act. tldr; eng line explicitly saying "false display" does make it ruder than CN but it didn't just come from nowhere -- the implication is already there in CN
this is not to say that ratio doesn't care about aven or see him as a friend. imo the reason ratio is so standoffish in this line is because any display of concern from aven here has the clear intention of teasing ratio. they both know ratio can take care of himself perfectly well. this is just how their dynamic works -- aven makes silly playful comments and ratio deflects them by acting cold.
in conclusion: ENG voiceline is not a mistranslation. hsr localisation is definitely not perfect but in this particular case i feel they've done a fairly good job of conveying the original meaning. thank you for coming to my ted talk
#SORRY FOR THE LONG ASS POST#Im just passionate about accurate localisation#if you read the whole thing thank you seriously#if anyone has other thoughts or questions please feel free to share under this post or in my inbox or wherever!#i did cross check all this with another native speaker but im open to hearing other ppl's interpretations too#dr ratio#aventurine#aventio#ratiorine#not necessarily ship but ill tag anyway#honkai star rail#hsr#long post
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One-way ticket to a Beast Cookie’s heart
How to get the Fallen Heroes to like you in an instant
Written by me cause I want to
Source: Trust me bro
One way to get the Beasts to like you is by showering them with constant attention. In this essay, I’ll be going through all the Beasts and how to befriend them.
Shadow Milk Cookie: He’s in the show business AND he’s silly, so basically just clap, laugh, smile, congratulate and appreciate him and he’ll follow you around like a lost puppy, coming up with ways to make you laugh cause you’re his favorite audience member. If you’re lucky, he might even call you his “Little Star” cause by then you’re the star of his show!
Eternal Sugar Cookie: Compliment her, flirt with her if you can, give her gifts from time to time and she’ll throw herself at you, giving you tight hugs and kisses, she might even invite you to sit on her cloud and sleep together.
Mystic Flour Cookie: Listen to her/them talk about the world and stuff, and you can tell her/them how much the world has changed since the Beasts were sealed. She/They will become interested in your knowledge of Earthbread and would like to know more about it. You can talk about your adventures and she/they’ll be sitting or floating next to you, listening carefully to every single word.
Silent Salt Cookie: He doesn’t talk much, so maybe what you could do is sit next to him and just have a normal conversation about anything, you can even offer to spar with him (hoping he doesn’t kill you in the process). If he ever does talk, you just sit back and listen, add your own comments whenever you can.
Burning Spice Cookie: YELLING COMPETITION!! He/They want to fight and call you a weakling, SAY YOU DON’T GIVE A SHIT!! Let’s see how he/they react to your raw energy, let’s see if you’re as confident in your words as you are confident in BATTLE! Spar with him/them, compliment his/their ways of attacking and admire his/their pure strength, he/they’ll for sure want to see more of you and your wild side!
If it works, congratulations, you saved the world with the power of bullshitting your way out of trouble friendship/love (all that cheesy stuff you see in teen rom-coms and Disney Channel movies)! If it doesn’t, it was nice knowing you.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk and good luck!
#cookie run kingdom#cookie run#crk#cr kingdom#shadow milk cookie#shadow milk crk#eternal sugar cookie#eternal sugar crk#burning spice cookie#burning spice crk#silent salt cookie#silent salt crk#mystic flour cookie#mystic flour crk#crk x reader#cookie run x reader#cookie run x you#cookie run kingdom x reader#mystic flour cookie x reader#beast yeast#crk beast yeast#crk fallen heroes#shadow milk cookie x reader#burning spice cookie x reader#silent salt cookie x reader#eternal sugar cookie x reader
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I'll bite.
I need to know about the red string conspiracy doc.
Sounds very fun
I have been WAITING for this. Get ready for the combined brainrot of @alice-apparently and I, you poor soul. Now, listen up, 'cause we’ve got a labrynthine twisted task of a tale to tell, and if you don’t keep up, you might get lost :)
And obviously: spoilers for tmagp. don't keep reading if you're behind 🫵🏼
First things first: anyone currently descending into paranoia? we're already there, poster children of paranoia-land, that's us. May I present the title of the wonderful conspiracy doc -
There's also a TMA conspiracy doc Ali made, fully colour- episode- and entity-coordinated. It's like 24k words and not even fully done. don't worry about it.
Which is why we're going to be super normal and low-key about the Protocol red string doc right?
of course.
As you can see above, our collaboration relies on Ali's colour coding and her making nice, structured observations of possibly important things, while I provide the Latin and cheer her on. Balance is important in a marriage.
Also included in this all-round package: character info, quotes, etc.
I've since moved on from my "Gwen is evil" theory because I simply love socially awkward, abrasive characters who are good at their job a little too much (nervously shuffles Jonathan Sims, the Archivist, further behind my back). Still the hottest bitch at the OIAR, don't @ me.
Also also, in this house we love Alice Dyer and don't trust her any further than we can throw her. what is UP with all your comments Alice? What do you know???
Anyway.
But Ames, you say, didn't you promise quotes? I did, and I'll do you one better: tmagp quotes with additional obnoxious commentary from yours truly and Ali
If you'd like to see Ali lose her shit over the red canary implications (which I fully support), hop over to her tumblr @alice-apparently and give it a read. It's delightful.
Right. Moving on from the random screenshots. Basic outline of part one of the paranoia board is a section for every episode. Ali is listening to ep7 as I write this and having a great time (not), so there's not much in the ep7 section, except for this:
Thoughts and prayers, love, thoughts and prayers.
And FINALLY, my favourite section.
This is the speculation part, time line puzzle and colour coding reference, but my current favourite is this:
She's trying to reverse-engineer the case coding in tmagp, a noble cause. Godspeed, Ali, bc that is too many numbers for my silly little brain. I only excel at criticising stupid horror protagonists aka Personal Screening:
That's all for now.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk, and to send you all off, one last silly comment from me to you and the universe:
Bye!
#tmagp#the magnus protocol#the magnus archives#red string conspiracy doc#attention ali#first shift#personal screening#alice dyer#sam khalid#gwendolyn bouchard#colin becher#tma jmart#jonmartin#spoilers#tmagp spoilers
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Hey there, Seisei!!! 💜💜💜 Hope you're holding up okay with the doodle reqs! I wasn't originally gonna submit one for this round, but couples' costumes have been taking over my brain as of late so. Mayhaps a Swiftli dressing up as Tamaki Suoh (Taylor) and Haruhi Fujioka (Link) of OHSHC fame??? I just think it'd look real cute in your style 🥰🥰🥰 Go Glenn!!! Hope you have a wonderful day, lovebird <3
[GET A SKETCH REQUEST BY: VOTING GLENN CLOSE HERE + BONUS POINTS FOR VOTING FOR NICKY AND GABLE HERE]
my emotionally repressed overly confident silly and his boygirl partner with so much gender and also the only braincell <3
they are SO kiss kiss fall in love thank you for coming to my TED Talk <3
#dndads#swiftli#taylor swift dndads#lincoln li wilson#tossing my art into the void#happi-tree#draw me like one of your close boys#The Advanced Voter Fraud Experience
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People seemed to really like my fanon v canon rant so here’s another rant about the concept of Cybertronian gender and language
Pronouns aren’t limited to he/she/they, and I’m not just talking about Neo and non-mainstream pronouns. Words like “you” and “our” are also pronouns, so the next time you hear someone say “i dOnT uSe pRoNoUnS” yes you do. Literally yes you do(excluding people who are referred to only by name, I’m talking specifically about homophobes and bigots but I digress)
The English language, along with most earth languages, have unique words that can only apply to that language. Of course you can translate as close as possible, but some words are exclusive to that language and you can’t accurately translate them. I speak English and Spanish(specifically Argentinian) and there are many words that I can’t translate into English. My father’s from Argentina so he taught me, and even he can’t translate a few words because they simply aren’t words in the English dictionary.
Now when we talk about Cybertronian, it is a fictional language that directly translates into English. Each letter has a symbol that represents that letter so people can directly translate it. It doesn’t have its own structure or grammar, it is just a silly easter egg.
(Also there’s two main versions of cybertronian I could find but they both follow the same format of what is basically a decoding game)
It’s obvious they have their own language, but it’s presented to us in a format we can understand, but if we’re thinking of cybertronions as a real species than it would not directly translate and just like any other earth language.
Quick but important detail: cybertronions don’t reproduce. They call us organic for a reason. They can’t do the squinty and dirty because they don’t have things to do it with, therefore don’t have a true concept of gender identity or sexual orientation. The only reason they’re referred to as “he,” “she,” or “they” in media is because it’s translated into English, the same way languages don’t always translate accurately.
There are transgender characters but they are for the viewer if anything, and Cybertronian gender is so much more complex if anything at all. A good theory is that humans introduced the concept of gender, but I don’t think that’s the case. Some people might like slimmer frames which just happen to be a characteristic of women. Some want bulkier bodys and to not be as slim, like a stereotypical male. Words like “he” and “she” are translated into words that refer to physical characteristics rather than mental. There’s also instances of this not happening like when Swerve mistakes Nautica for a man despite her having colored lips and a slim body(traits which normally apply to AFAB people)
At the end of the day, Cybertronions are something to dissect with their culture being so vague due to language barriers and Rodimus being British apparently(different areas have different accents, Rodimus is just compared to having a British accent. Don’t think too deep into it)
also if your curious here’s the two languages sorry that ones transparent lmao
Oke thanks for coming to my ted talk I love you drink wawa and eat please I beg of you
#tf#transformers lost light#transformers animated#transformers idw#transformers rid2015#idw comics#tf mtmte#transformers mtmte#mtmte#transformers prime#tfp#tfa#transformers#macaddam#maccadams#idw transformers#transformers rescue bot academy#transformers rescue bots#mtmte tf#lost light#Transformers lost light#ll#tf lost light
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Hi hiii :D if ur cool w it, could you do Mike [+alters besides Chester] x gn! and alt!reader? J like headcanons for how they would react to meeting/falling in love w a very visually punk/goth/heavy accessorized person? If not, that’s fine too tho 👍🏽
-😋
got it, silly guy!
MIKE + ALTERS [minus Chester] X ALT/GOTH READER!
MIKE
Mike is just BAFFLED...
...That you'd spend your time with HIM!
He honestly thinks you look SO. COOL.
The whole aesthetic kinda gives him scary dog privileges (if you're that kinda person, and for christians that think you worship Satan and are here to kill them)
You honestly caught his eye when he was just roaming the streets of (enter place name here) and saw you, striding in your eye-caching clothes. you were just- so THERE it was hard to not see you and stare!
He just had to walk up and say hi!
MANI
first reaction: AHG WTF?
second reaction: oh its just an emo
He was.. He felt indifferent about you.
no doubt he met you while Mike and you guys were hanging. He kinda just ruined whatever vibe you two had when you thought it'd be funny to put a silly hat on him.
He honestly thinks you're super emo and constantly calls you that, mainly if it annoys you.
He's also intrigued by the way you dress and act, he's met like- 2 people like you. (Mani has never stepped foot in a hot topic)
SVETLANA
She thinks you're so cool!
please let her dress you up...
DRESS HE UP TOO!!
maybe she'll try some tricks in your awesome style..
Just likes to dress like you sometimes.
Like Mani, most likely met you when you and Mike were hanging out,..... She did all her best tricks for you, gaining some applause from you.
she is so silly..... I lobe her....... <3
VITO
AHHH AN EMO
oh
he honestly..
doesn't mind.
He doesn't undertsand why you dress like that, yeah... but he'll still hang with you
me and the goth badass i pulled by being a dumb himbo.
thank you for coming to my ted talk
MAL
He gets it.
yeah, he does.
Honestly he wants to dress a bit like you whenever he's fronting (maybe not as much like you, but ya know, he's emo.)
He.. thinks you're cool. He really likes how you dress and constantly fucks with your hair
calls you emo if it annoys you.
He doesn't really mind if you try dressing him up, just know he's gonna put you in the worst dress ever.
HERES YOUR MEME YOU ITTEL SHITS /loving
#headcanon#tdi#tdi mal#total drama mal x reader#total drama mal#tdi mal x reader#tdi mike's alters#tdi mike x reader#total drama mike x reader#tdi mike#total drama mike#tdi svetlana#svetlana#tdi svetlana x reader#tdi vito#tdi vito x reader#total drama svetlana#total drama svetlana x reader#total drama vito#total drama vito x reader#total drama manitoba#tdi manitoba#total drama manitoba x reader
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video ideas for the McLaren pr team
’cause the flow been dry since the proscription of unboxed
why not satisfy one of their sponsor while at it? Get these boys each a McLaren LEGO set and do a competition of who can assemble it the fastest, bits of chatting here and there and boom! Nice long chill video c:
we’ve seen how competitive Lando and Oscar can be in the inverted goggles video, so maybe it could be fun to bring this kind of energy back? Stick ‘em on a paddle court and let’s have a lil showdown! Now of course it’d be nice to get the Williams vs McLaren match, but interteam content does tend to be rare so I wouldn’t put my money on it
maybe it’s time to change it up a little, we’ve seen them a lot in competitive contexts. Why not some cooperative challenge this time? Seeing them struggle in an escape room would be hilarious, and it’d show a nice united front to the public
now, now, the boys are racing drivers. Some track actions is always nice, so I propose a karting video. Another one, don’t look at me like that I just love these
playing with food is a staple of video challenges, and with mister Oscar Pastry on your team it’d be a shame to not capitalize on this play on words. Baking contest, no instructions, whoever makes the worst concoction has to taste his mess (plus possible affiliation with their Optimum Nutrition sponsor c;)
SUMMER. GAMES. That video was fire, stamp of approval, keep going sweetie. Tweak the games so that it isn’t a repeat and we’re onto a winner here
for a team with an history as rich as McLaren they haven’t been quizzing their drivers much on their f1 knowledge… even outside of McLaren. Chill bla bla video of their favourite moments of the sport, wins, overtakes, radios?
they’ve been getting a lot of friendship bracelets on stage recently, so why not capitalize on this fan interaction and let ‘em make some to distribute to the fans at the next race?
uno with Stella, Brown, whoever. I want to see them being the little menaces that they are, terrorize the McLaren team, stick up a +4 in each other’s face, unleash the sassiness :o
’look at you’ ‘look at you’ ‘look at us’ alright then. You wanna fawn over each other? Then with their partnerships with clothing brands surely the pr team could find a way of letting them choose silly outfits for each other, little modeling session, um?
anyway, thank you for coming to my ted talk, yadi yada, if you want to add some ideas you are very welcome to put them in the comments :D
#lando norris#oscar piastri#landoscar#mclaren pr team#please wake up#we need to be fed#the video feed been empty for SO LONG#please…
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ok so. obvs i love owengejuicetv- everything he does, everything he makes. its in the blog title. i am The biggest ojtv enjoyer who is primarily on tumblr.
but.
listen. new life is great, and outsiders is phenomenal, and rats is silly and pirates is fun- but peak owen is his hardcore world.
i was there in may when he was rushing to get the end project done, i was there when he finished it, so maybe im biased. but fucking hell. i get so nostalgic for those days whenever he does hardcore like much as i love everything owen does i would not be completely devastated if the timeline got reset and he Only did hardcore
with the exception of Outsiders because outsiders is fucking based and we should keep it around forever (i know its already finished im in denial)
and listen. i genuinely love everything owen makes. i do! its super well-done and impressive but just the hardcore vibes are always immaculate and it's so cozy and it's so damn nostalgic like oh my god i love it so much
anyway
thank you for coming to my ted talk *bows and walks offstage*
#felix and his rants#owengejuicetv#ojtv#owenjuicetv#new life smp#pirates smp#outsiders smp#scurvyblr#hardcore owen
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love Emily's complete irreverence of Temeraire and I don't think it's at all the norm in the Corps; there's that segment in LoD about how European aviators are used to not interacting with the dragon directly very much at all because of the pervasive idea that the captain is all that's keeping the beast in line, and other members of the crew (especially ones who join later) are definitely more deferential on the whole. Emily fully tells him off for not listening, or for being ridiculous, and aside from the fact that Jane's outlook on how to speak to dragons seems to be very much of the "don't be silly, you old lump, go do your job" school I also think there's a case to be made for the fact that Emily like, literally grew up with Temeraire? She's nine or ten when she joins his crew and Temeraire a few months old, and the only times they're separated for significant lengths of time are when Laurence is imprisoned in VoE and then when they split up in Russia in LoD. Arguably they are teenagers together? I think that's so sweet? He looks to her for reassurance and trusts her to look after Laurence and in turn he's very protective of her but fully believes that she's capable of handling herself because dragons don't really see the difference between men and women serving. this is all to say that I love Emily Roland thank you for coming to my ted talk
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It's Rin and Len's birthday today !! Perfect time for....A SUBMAS DRAWING OF COURSE
Ingo and Emmet wearing kagamine outfits was an obvious choice ! Initially forgot Rin wears a short and not a skirt so I made silly sketches + rambling about submas wearing skirts hc below cut if you're curious
Playing with headcanon is fun, imagining Ingo be totally fine wearing a skirt and rocking it like a king while Emmet feels uncomfortable wearing it is funny to me XD I think even Ingo wouldn't normally wear those but if he had to for some reason he wouldn't mind ! If Emmet had to wear one he would get used to it eventually but would always find it less comfortable than pants.
Okay hear me out I just got a funny thought. Imagine Akari in PLA wearing a skirt one day and Ingo sees it and is like "This skirt...I remember wearing one like this once", and Akari would just be flabbergasted, picturing warden Ingo with a skirt sure is something haha XD
Now I could also imagine the opposite with Emmet being fine with a skirt while Ingo is uncomfortable ! Or both being uncomfortable. Or both being fine... tbh I think all the headcanon regarding that are fun to play with XD
I DON'T KNOW why I talked so much about that, it ain't serious at all just silly ideas for fun but my brain seems to be interested in exploring headcanons on this particular subject today haha, I love submas headcanons, I don't imagine my own hc that much (often absorb other people's hc that I like) but yeah I love the diversity you can have with submas hc (btw if you have submas headcanons you wanna share feel free to do so, I will gladly CONSUME any submas headcanon haha)
Ahem...I never talked that much in a post haha, anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk
#submas#submas ingo#submas emmet#pokemon subway boss#subway boss ingo#subway boss emmet#cheesecake801art#my art#kudari#nobori#ingo and emmet#vocaloid#kagamine#this is Rin and Len's birthday and yet it turned into a post about submas#you can see I have my priorities in order
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Long Time Coming I Chapter Four I Jump Then Fall
Summary: Being hired as the first female assistant coach in the league was a challenge of it itself. Being a football protigy and University Football Legend was easy enough. Coaching Jamie Tartt was a challenge all on its own.
Word Count: 3.6k
Warning: I have literally no clue how football works.
A/N: Enjoy!
Prologue One Two Three
Roy was back. I love Roy. Roy was straight forward and honest. The boys responded well to him. Maybe it was because he was one of them, but Roy understood them better. The Roy Kent effect they were calling it. Of course, that didn’t come with a fair bit of jealously. As much as I tried not to be jealous, of course Roy was getting more recognition for his work than I ever did. His dramatic return at the beginning of the Sheffield game was something to be inspired by.
But Roy and I got along. We had an understanding of the game that Ted and Beard and Nate just didn’t have. We were able to communicate in our own way. We stood on the sidelines, watching the boys scrimmage when Colin whiffed a shot at the goal. I rolled my eyes and glanced over at Roy who nodded at me in agreement.
I was about to say something when Nate stepped forward.
“Come on, Colin. You dolt!” he shouted at him.
My eyes widened in surprise at him. Even if Colin wasn’t my friend, which he was, that’s no way to speak to your team. Roy seemed to feel my discomfort and stepped forward in front of me.
“Colin, you're leaning too far back. Head down, fucking whip it!” Roy instructed, in his aggressive yet endearing way.
“Thanks, Roy,” Colin called back, grateful for the advice. “I am a strong and capable man.”
I was about to mention my concerns about Bumbercatch when Roy continued. “Bumbercatch, great pass, but it don’t mean shit if they see it coming. The rest of you in the box, when the shot goes, you fucking follow it in!”
“You smell that, lads?” Isaac asked, letting in a dramatic sniff. “That’s the Roy Kent Effect.”
The lads laughed, and I thought I saw the ghost of a smile on Roy’s face as he stepped back to stand by me.
I felt my smile fall at their praise. It was stupid, it really was. Roy was new. Roy was loud. Roy was funny. They flocked to him like he was their savior. And he was! The four-game winning streak was enough to convince anyone of that. I shifted to stand up straight.
“Anything for me, coach?” Jamie ran up to the front of the group, looking desperately at Roy for his advice.
But Roy ignored him, clapping his hands and instructing the boys to start up again. I let out a low breath. Forgiving Jamie wasn’t easy. Especially when Jamie had all but single-handedly ended his career.
Jamie looked over at me, the disappointment rolling over his features. I gave him a sympathetic smile, shrugging indifferently. I was jealous. Jealous of Roy Kent because he was so fucking wonderful and great at his job.
I stewed as I sat back in my chair during lunch. I tuned myself out of the conversation that Keely and Ted were having, trying to convince myself to not be jealous. Jealousy was not my favorite emotion, and it was downright embarrassing. What caught my attention was when Jamie walked into the room half dressed.
“Hi (Y/N),” he greeted. I felt my heart speed up as he singled me out in a greeting. “Hey Keely.” And back to normal speed. I shook my head at myself. I was all out of wack today. Jealous about Roy, disappointed when Jamie greeted Keely, his friend. Just silly. “Gotta tell Roy he needs to start coaching me.”
Of course, he was here about Roy. I tried not to roll my eyes as I stood up, grabbing my bag.
“Oh, wait, you want me to tell Roy Kent what to do?” Ted retorted quickly. “That’s a great idea.”
“Yeah, he’ll love that,” Keely giggled, shooting Jamie a side eye.
“Yes, I’ll totally drop it into one of our conversations where Roy talks about his life and asks me for advice,” Nate chimed in. We all laughed before Beard turned and blew a raspberry at Jamie.
“Philistines!” Oh! Big word for Jamie. “I’m asking for help here!”
In his defense, he did truly seem desperate, but the whole situation was just so hilarious to me, I couldn’t help but let out a laugh.
“Philistines? What is that your word of the day?” I jabbed, moving to lean across from Keely. He glared at me, crossing his arms. I found myself looking over his features, his tense jaw, the way his shirt hugged his biceps. Were his biceps always that big? Oh, god, what was I doing. It was just Jamie. Yeah, he was attractive, but so what? I tuned back into the conversation just as Ted and Keely were leaving. I sent them away and hit Jamie on the shoulder.
“Grab your lunch, and lets go,” I told him as I walked out of the room.
Jamie and I liked to enjoy our lunches sitting on the pitch. It's where we enjoye most of our free time together. Usually, he would ask me advice on some football technique or play he was trying and I would help where I could. But today, Jamie sat across from me, stabbing aimlessly at his salad. I shook my box, getting the dressing nice and mixed into mine.
“Jamie, what is going on with you?” I questioned. “You’ve barely touched your summertime strawberry salad!”
I reached forward with my fork and tried to stab at it, but he warded me off.
“It’s Roy! He just knows how to get under me skin,” he complained, finally shoving a strawberry in his mouth. “I thought I was finally making headway here.”
I couldn’t help but let out a groan. “Jamie, it’s Roy. You two have always hated each other.”
“I don’t hate, Roy!” Jamie exclaimed, stabbing particularly hard at his food. “Well, I think he’s a pretentious old twat, but I don’t hate him.” He leaned back, setting his fork down. “I just want him to coach me.”
“For fucks sake,” I burst out. I was sick of everyone looking for Roy’s approval, he was just a man. “He’s just Roy! If you want something from him, just be upfront. Don’t go looking for something in any kiss uppy, or brown nosey way. And anyways, aren’t four coaches enough, why are you all so desperate for Roy’s attention?”
I couldn’t keep the desperation out of my voice and Jamie could tell. He cocked his head at me.
“Why do you care? We all listen to you anyways. It’s getting you to shut up that’s the problem!” He smirked, sticking his tongue out at me. But I was not in the mood for jokes. No matter how much I felt my cheeks burn watching the way his eyes squinted when he smiled. But no, I was angry.
“Fuck off, Jamie,” I mumbled before standing up. I turned on my heel and left, heading back inside.
“Wait! I was just joking,” Jamie called after me.
I didn’t turn around and I heard him curse loudly as I went inside. I walked back to my office and saw Ted sitting there, on his phone. I slumped into my chair, starting to spin. Everything was so fucked. I felt like my emotions were out of control. I was so angry. It felt like I was spiraling out of control. For some reason, the only thing in my head was Jamie. Jamie and his stupid smile, his cocky, smug, stupid smile. Why didn’t he want my coaching? Why wasn’t he fighting to get my attention? God, I felt so stupid.
“(Y/N)!” Ted’s voice broke my chain of thought, and I stopped spinning. “Hold on there! If you spin any faster, you’re gonna whisk away a little girl and her dog.”
I felt the aftereffects of the spin setting in and leaned back, staring straight ahead. “Isn’t it a little corny to make a Wizard of Oz metaphor? Seeing as you’re from Kansas?”
“No! That adds to the charm!” Ted exclaimed. “Now why don’t you tell me whats wrong?”
I weighed my options. I could tell Ted everything. He was great at listening and usually gave good advice. But what if he laughed at me or told me to get over myself. Though that thought along was ridiculous enough. Ted was kind. He would never laugh at me.
“It’s just…” I began, taking a deep breath. “I feel so… weird? I’m jealous! And I’m not a jealous person. But with Roy being back, it feels like… no one needs me around anymore. Like I never got any of the kind of attention that Roy is getting now. ‘The Kent Effect?’ What about the Clemen’s Effect?” I shook my head, realizing how stupid I sound. “And now I’m realizing that I sound like a jealous third grader.”
Ted chuckled.
“I was gonna say you were turning into that giant green bean fella but jealous third grader works too.” I let out a breath laugh, closing my eyes and shoving my face in my hands. “Hey, though, don’t beat yourself up! I get it. I do. But don’t let that make you forget just how much we need you here.” I looked up from my hands to look at Ted. He gave me a smile. “The boys respond to you well, they always have. Heck! You know more about this game than Beard or Nate or myself. Roy is just… new. But there’s one thing that you have that Roy doesn’t.”
“What’s that?” I asked, looking for an answer.
“The ability to show by doing,” he stated. “Ever since you showed Jamie that trick about dragging his feet, he’s made more free kicks than ever. Roy’s too old and crotchety to actually be able to do anything anymore. But you! You’re in the prime of your career. You can teach these boys in a way none of the rest of us can.” He reached out and put his hand on my shoulder. “And one thing I want you to understand is that we need you. We will always need you. Don’t forget that.”
For some reason, his words really hit me. My eyebrows furrowed together and gave him a sincere smile. I opened my mouth to say something, thank you, or anything, when Roy and Jamie flew in from the hallway.
“You fucking asshole!” Jamie shouted.
“I know you are but so are you,” Roy grunted back, starting to walk into the coach’s room. Ted and I shared a glance before both of us started to rise from our seats.
“I’m trying to build bridges here!” Jamie’s exasperated voice called out.
Roy turned on his heel, rounding on Jamie. “You couldn’t fucking build Jeff Bridges.”
He pushed Jamie back. I flew up forward and raced out into the locker room, getting in between Roy and Jamie. I stepped in front of Jamie, feeling a rush of protectiveness flooding through me.
“Hey, hey, hey!” Ted joined, spreading his arms between them. “What’s going on here?”
“This man refuses to coach meh!” Jamie accused pointing over my shoulder.
“He refuses to stop being an asshole,” Roy retorted.
“Hey, we both know Jamie has come a long way in his journey to not be an asshole,” I defended.
“Thank you, (Y/N)!” Jamie chimed in.
“Okay Roy, you’re not going to like this but, right now, Jamie here is being the mature one,” Ted began, moving to standing next to Jamie.
“It’s true. I’m being super mature, you big, dumb, hairy, baby twat,” Jamie whined. I turned and gave Jamie a side eye. Roy suggested that it was Ted’s fault that Jamie wasn’t as good of a player as he used to be.
“Cause, Jamie, deep down, at your core, you are a prick,” Roy stated, firmly. “So just be a prick.” I tried to glance over at Jamie, trying to wage his reaction. But he wasn’t giving much away.
We decided on a signal. A signal to give Jamie when it was time to be a prick. Or I should say, Roy decided on a signal. One we would find out about later, I suppose.
Nonetheless, it seemed to qualm the fight that Roy and Jamie had built, and the rest of the day went smoothly. I was packing up my stuff to leave when Roy cleared his throat from behind me.
“Hey Roy, what’s up?”
“You’re a good coach.”
I pause and turn to face him. “What… what do you mean?”
Roy rolled his eyes. “I mean, you’re a good fucking coach. The boys respond well to you. You know what you’re doing. Which is more than I can say for Ronald McDonald.”
I laughed, looking down. “I think Ted knows what he’s doing.”
“I was talking about Nate, but the point stands.” He reached out his hand for me to shake. Maybe it was my crazy emotional whirlwind of a day, but I knocked his hand aside and pulled him in for a hug. His arms didn’t warp around me at all, but he didn’t immediately start to growl so I took it as a success.
As I walked out to my car that night, I saw Jamie leaning against his car, scrolling on his phone. When he saw me coming out of the door, he put his phone away and shot me the biggest smile. Not his normal, cocky one, but a softer, for sincere one.
“Hey (Y/N),” He started, walking to meet me. “I wanted to apologize, for before.”
“Jamie, you have nothing to apologize for.” I shook my head, holding my hands up to stop him. “I was being so moody earlier. Just a weird day.”
“S’lright, just wanted to make sure you was okay,” He said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Seemed upset.”
Goddamnit. That was so fucking thoughtful.
“Yeah, I was… I was having a bad day.” I shrugged. “But, I’ll be okay.”
He stared at me for a moment longer before nodding his head. We stood there, staring at each other in a not-too-uncomfortable silence. Finally, I popped my lips.
“Alright! I guess I’ll see you this weekend. Tottenham won’t know what hit them!” I moved passed him, walking backwards towards my car.
Jamie smirked, turning with me to leave. “That’s for sure, already told Colin you’re filling in for him.”
“Hah! That’s- that’s really- “I bumped into my car, slamming my hip against the handle. “Ah, fuck, ouch.”
“Shit, are you-“
“Yep! I’m fine!” I cut him off before he could be concerned. “Just great, I’ll see you Saturday.”
I opened the door to my car and got in before he could say another word. What was wrong with me?
…
This Saturday filled me with so many feelings. If I thought my emotions were out of wack at the beginning of the week, the anxiety that filled me about Tottenham just made things worse. We were one win away from going to Wembley and playing Manchester for the FA Cup semis. If we won, it would be to the excellent coaching of Ted Lasso and stellar skills of our players. If we lost it would be because of the female coach dragging the team down.
My normal routine of cheering on the lads in the locker room was replaced with my anxious twirling in my chair. Not even Ted tried to get me to stop. What did get me to stop was when Jamie came into the door way.
“Mornin’ Coach,” He stopped when he saw me, clearly frazzled in the corner of the room. “Should I ask?”
“Definitely not,” Beard answered for me.
Jamie cocked his head, pursing his lips at me. “Bit scared about the game, yeah?”
I shot him a glare as my feet planted themselves in the ground before twisting so I was facing the wall away from them.
“I just told you not to ask!”
“What do you need, Jamie” Ted interrupted before Beard could escalate things forward.
Jamie’s eyes stayed planted on me for a moment longer before he dragged them over to Ted.
“I was just wondering if you decided on a signal for me?”
“I told you; you’d know it when you see it.” Roy entered the room coming over to spin my chair to face them again. “You, need to stop spinning or you’ll blow chunks on the field.”
I frowned at him but stood up and brushed past Jamie into the locker room. As I did though, he grabbed my arm. My breath caught in my throat as I turned back to look up at him. I never realized how much taller he was than me. To my surprise, there was no hint of humor. Just a sea of concern.
“Are you okay?” he murmured; his face so close to mine I could feel his waiting breath.
I bit my lip, suddenly overcome by my emotions. The same emotions that had been drawing me to his body, his lips, his eyes, every single day this week. I found enough breath to reply a soft: “I’m okay.”
At my reply, he let go of my arm and shot me a comforting smile instead. “Good, ‘cos I was beginning to worry that my salad choices had come back to haunt you.”
“No, our salads were fine.” I chuckled at his concern. “But I am concerned about your ability to play well after too many strawberries.”
“Don’t you worry about me Strawberries,” he smirked. “In a few hours you’ll be begging for my strawberry salad recipe”
He shot me a wink before turning and heading back to his locker. Why were my cheeks burning?
The game was more mediocre to say the least. Nearing the half, the score was nil-nil with only a few attempts at a goal. I could feel the energy leaving the players as Jamie passed the ball to an unprepared Sam. A Tottenham play swiped the ball, kicking it out of bounds. I groaned, running a hand through my hair.
“Fuck,” I spat under my breath, turning to Ted. “What’s the plan?” Roy suddenly appeared beside me, causing me to jump slightly. “Christ.”
“Reckon it’s time to use the signal, huh?” Ted asked, hesitantly.
“Yep,” Roy answered.
“Yeah, okay…” Ted looked around nervously. “You didn’t by any chance come up with a better one, did you?”
“No”
“Alright.” Ted sighed before cupping his mouth and shouting. “Hey Jamie! Jamie!”
On the field, Jamie turned to look at us. In unison, the five of us all raised our middle fingers at him. I didn’t know how to react when Roy told us the signal he had come up with. It wasn’t exactly surprising, but I wasn’t sure how the crowd would react. Of course, the second we made the signal, the crowd burst out in laughter. Jamie’s face contorted in confusion before a look of realization dawned on him.
He quickly ran over to one of the Tottenham players, Barnett, and started chatting to him. Whatever he said to him must have pissed him off cause soon the two of them were racing towards the ball. Jamie took control of the ball when, from out of nowhere, Barnett slid into Jamie’s legs, causing him to fall and roll to the ground.
“REFEREE” Beard shouted, throwing his hands up.
Of course, the ref blew his whistle giving Jamie a penalty. Jamie hopped up off the ground and on his face was his signature cocky, sideways smirk. He approached Barnett and got in his face, saying something snarky I’m sure, because the next second, Barnett was pushing Jamie and having to be pulled away by his teammate. Jamie ran backwards, throwing his hands up in mock surrender.
“Hmm, glad he’s on our team, you know?” Ted nudged me, but I found myself unable to take my eyes off of him. I muttered an agreement as Jamie turned to face us for a moment as Barnett was cleared off. His eyes were shining with mischief as he raised his eyebrows at me. I shook my head at him, unable to keep the smile off my face.
“Hey, what do you think? Trick play?” Ted huddled us in a moment. I shook my head. It was a long shot for sure, but one I knew he could make. In fact, it was the same distance I had shown him how to hit that day after training. He could do it.
“You don’t need it,” Roy, as usual, could read my mind. “The little prick’s gonna fucking score from there.”
Nate scoffed in disbelief. But I knew what Jamie could do. I watched as he placed the ball on the ground in front of him and took a breath. Then one by one, he dragged his feet backwards, just like I’d shown him. The turf disrupted slightly as his red boots tore up the soil. Then, it was like the world stood still, he jaunted forward, hit the ball with the side of his foot and watched as it flew through the air. Then, with the sweet swish of the goal, the world exploded into cheers. The stadium flew into a state of celebration as the team ran to Jamie’s side.
“YES!” I cried. “FUCK YES JAMIE!” Jamie turned again, to look over at us. In one swift motion, he flipped us off with both of his fingers. I laughed and shook my head, feeling that flutter in my stomach again. Then it hit me. Just as quickly, as if it was a football to the face. It hit me, staring at his tongue sticking through his lips, as he celebrated with his teammates. It hit me that I was most definitely in love with Jamie Tartt.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think!
Tag list: @optimisticsandwichgladiator @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @ajax-petropolus-wife
#jamie tartt#angst#enemies to lovers#eventual fluff#jamie tartt fanfiction#jamie tartt imagine#jamie tartt x reader#jamie tartt x y/n#ted lasso#ted lasso show
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I absolutely ADORE “Mulder & Scully meet the Were Monster” and here is why:
- truly a monster of the week episode which I love
- the comedy of it (reminds me of Bad Blood)
- the existential dread Mulder is facing
- Mulder having the theme song as his ring tone
- the subversion of the were-wolf trope
- the whole “actually the way society is going sucks” and everything that Guy was saying about these “urges” that humans have
- the dedications on the tombstones to the real people we lost
- Scully mentioning Queequeg and stealing adopting another dog
- Scully mentioning she is immortal
- “The internet is not good for you” and the whole smartphone thing is just… so good and feels accurate and silly at the same time
- the trans representation (i don’t think it aged exceptionally well but it’s there and it could be so much worse)
- “that’s how i like my mulder”
- Scully so obviously enjoying herself
- “I think my phone is not working correctly because guys don’t send me pictures of their junk” (I’m paraphrasing i think but yeah, all of this)
- Scully.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk
#asile rewatches txf#mulder & scully meet the were monster#10x3#defo one of if not my fave episode of the revival#and one of my fave episodes in general#the x files#fox mulder#dana scully#guy man
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Something I love about doing art is the detail. One time someone told me to stop being detail focused JUST so I could actually finish a project.
So here's a big ramble about details in my own art that make me smile:
Textures: :)))) I love going crazy on textures because when I zoom in later on I go “wow I forgot I put that there” and it’s silly and fun.
Story telling: I love seeing how much of a story I can tell in just one drawing, so I just cram in a bunch of references and details.
I was just talking to some other artists the other day about how fun obscure details are in art, and thought I'd blab about it on here. Ok that's all, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
#leaf chatter#leaf doodles art#If anyone else finds joy in this know you have a special place in my heart#There was so much I actually didn't include#Watching me draw is the worst experience because I just sit there thinking real hard#This post was literally just for my own satisfaction. Sorry to everyone else.#This also doesn't mention my many pages of facial studies buT THATS NOT IMPORTANT
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So as someone who FULLY subscribes to the idea that a modern au Dutch would dress like it’s still the 70’s, I propose the idea that he’d listen to only 60s-80s music (what he calls the only good period of music.)
He’d listen to Prince, Christopher Cross (Arthur’s theme lol), Boston, Journey, Duran Duran, Johnny Cash, Bonnie Tyler, Queen, The Beatles, John Denver, TOTO, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Aerosmith, Fleetwood Mac, Seals and Crofts, The Outfield, Men At Work, Blue Swede, Starship, Elton John (OBVIOUSLY), etc etc.
But MOST of all, Dutch would listen to ABBA. This man fully stans ABBA, he has ABBA merch, all the vinyls, he cried when Voyage came out, he probably even got to see them in concert at one point. You cannot take Mamma Mia from this man because my my just how much he missed him. His fav ABBA song would be King Kong Song because he loves to pull Hosea over to do silly little dances while he sings along, and Hosea just loves to see that big stupid smile.
And, I say this as a YRR fan, Dutch would go to Yacht Rock Revue shows and be on the rail with Hosea beside him (who probably has some earplugs in since it’s loud in front of Monkey Boy.) He loses his ever loving mind when they do the Africa/Dancing Queen mashup and he knows all of Nick’s little improvisations to the point that he does them in the car whenever a song comes on. (Also, anchorheads in joke, but he’d yell FUCKIN LOCKET- during Brandy. Gotta love live stream slip ups)
so here’s my Dutch playlist, please ignore how itll go from sad dutch song to angst to fall out boy to yacht rock to rdr soundtrack and back to fall out boy its my wall across campus and think abt dutch soundtrack
Thank you for coming to my TED talk, I have to walk to class now.
#CAN YOU TELL I WAS RAISED ON OLD MUSIC#CAN YOU TELL MY PARENTS INFLUENCE MY MUSIC TASTE#CAN YOU TELL IM THE CHILD OF A YRR GROUPIE#I GO TO SO MANY YRR CONCERTS ITS INSANE#anyways#grem rambles#rdr2#vandermatthews#rdr#red dead redemption 2#red dead redemption community#red dead fandom#red dead redemption two#red dead redemption#dutch van der linde rdr2#dutch rdr2#dutch rdr#dutch van der linde#hosea matthews rdr2#hosea matthews#dutch x hosea#red dead redemption hosea#Spotify
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