#thank you all for the nice comments on the last one 👀
Text
part 2 of 7 - sleeping
[« previous] [next »]
#serireiweek2023#serirei#reigen arataka#serizawa katsuya#mp100#thank you all for the nice comments on the last one 👀#it was a head scratcher to have a continuous story that followed every theme but i hope you'll like it!!!
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pairing: oscar piastri x fem!reader [no faceclaim]
summary: you're a meme rapper with a cult following on youtube, and oscar is always in your comments, but it isn't until you release your first single that everyone puts two and two together.
notes: this is one of the very first requests i ever received, and finally FINALLY it is done!! we are so back
liked by oscarpiastri, patriciooward, and others
ynusername guys if i wrote a song about dino nuggets would you unfollow me be honest
view all 1,458 comments
username1 yeah
ynusername 😔
oscarpiastri no
ynusername 😁
username2 maybe
ynusername i'm getting mixed signals
oscarpiastri
liked by ynusername, landonorris, and 502,876 others
oscarpiastri Oscar goes outside: Japan edition
view all 8,482 comments
username3 you're not even outside in any of these pictures oscar what
landonorris who are we getting dinner with, young man? 🤨
oscarpiastri My mum 😊
landonorris yeah right
username4 omg any yn fans in the comments?? mother liked the post 👀
username5 yeah they follow each other lol i don't think they've ever met though
username6 they've definitely interacted, but yeah i think they're just like online acquaintances haha
ynusername nice berries mate
oscarpiastri Thanks, I've heard that before
liked by ynusername, oscarpiastri, and 251,876 others
mclaren Happy Birthday Oscar! 🥳
view all 7,654 comments
username7 guys why's oscar kinda...
username8 WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN??
oscarpiastri 😁😁😁
ynusername happy birthday.
oscarpiastri Ok that's a lot of negative energy please step back
username9 help these interactions are always so random??
username10 oscar's waist looking SNATCHED omg
username11 guys is this a safe space for me to confess something?
landonorris no, keep it to yourself
ynusername
liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, and others
ynusername finally releasing a single woohoo!! 'bark bark' coming out april 19th on spotify and apple music ^-^
view all 1,874 comments
username12 OMG YESSSS
username13 WHAT YN THIS IS SO EXCITING!!!! CONGRATS!!!!!
oscarpiastri What's it about
ynusername you have to stream the song and find out silly
oscarpiastri Is it about me
ynusername oh my god
ynusername
liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and others
ynusername the type of face you'd go to war for (look past the camera, he's shy)
view all 2,054 comments
landonorris shucks, i'm blushing
ynusername i am so obviously not talking about you
username14 NEW MUSIC WHEN??
ynusername the single JUST came out CHILL!
username15 the last slide??
username16 new music hint?
ynusername no that's just me talking about oscar and lando
landonorris ....which one am i?
ynusername i literally called you a slut nine times in suzuka
username17 so oscar is lust????
oscarpiastri Thank you Barbie!!
liked by mclaren, ynusername, and 516,392 others
oscarpiastri Busy busy week, but glad the secret's out. My girlfriend is cooler and funnier than yours, by the way.
view all 7,990 comments
ynusername you're so hot i am gnawing at the bars of my enclosure
ynusername the hair?? the smile?? the grabbable waist?? WOW!!
ynusername gonna write another song about you
ynusername if i saw you in the street i'd catcall you
ynusername i want you.
oscarpiastri I love you too
username18 FKSDHJGLKHDJG IM SO HAPPY YN CAN BE UNHINGED AND CRAZY NOW GOOD FOR HER GOOD FOR THEM!!
request: hiiii babe! i love ur account! i was wondering if u could do an oscar piastri x meme rapper gf with an @addy_kate fc. like shes actually really funny and her music is oddly good (like tmg).
tagging: @thearchieves @sheridamn @nikfigueiredo @charlig123456789 @ilove-tswizzle @aandreea2005 @sideboobrry @vellicora @eire-the-egg @marymustdie @cocote1410 @taygrls @koalapastries @vroomvroommuppett @nichmeddar @d3kstar @333kiki @ririyulife @resident-swiftie @zimm04 @jupiter-je-taime @ever_bizzare @blue-isnt-avaliable @iifloweringnightsii @graciewrote @formulaal @m0cha-bunny @marvelsimps @mehrmonga @elliegrey2803 @theblueblub @gwginnyweasley @sltwins @f1kenzzz @alexmarie29 @donttouchthegnote @clemswrld @hollieeelol @leireggsworld @luvvtrent @maddie-naps @lilcowboy0 @tygecjjd @skepvids @bwddermilch @pnkwhskyprncss @notawc @landossainz @janegxi @chaotic_version @lookatitlaterlol @cometsrodrigo @lizzypiastri @nixisracing @lavviee @yaesflorist
if you want to be added to any of my taglists, fill out this form
#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x reader#f1#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1 x reader#instagram au#f1 imagine#oscar piastri imagine#f1 instagram au#social media au#oscar piastri au#saturn writes
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˖⁺｡˚⋆˙something to smile about | MV1 ˖⁺｡˚⋆˙
pairing: max verstappen x athlete ice skater!reader y/n (she/her)
genre: social media au
warnings: none just fluff
summary: in which your long anticipated meeting pays off in the form of romance
a/n: took me ages to write this coz all i do is work atm im so tired 😪
request!!!: as an idea, maybe an au with a famous athlete reader (ice skater maybe?) that meets max through a redbull event or something and they hit it off?
my masterlist
twitter ->
instagram ->
yourusername posted a story
liked by yoursister, lilymhe, and 22,082 others
user6 omg gorgeous
user7 ily y/n
user8 MY IDOLLL
user9 when u pull max verstappen in this fit >>>
user10 fav girl always
lilymhe beaut
yourusername ilyyyy
twitter ->
instagram ->
maxverstappen1
liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername, and 817,054 others
maxverstappen1 a lovely evening
view all 14,293 comments
user11 omg who's the girl
user12 THE LAST PIC??
user13 he looks fine af
yourusername it was so nice to meet u max thank u for such a fun evening !!
maxverstappen1 no problem, you definitely gave me something to smile about :)
user14 OH MY GOD
user15 ok fine. i ship max and y/n
user16 something to smile about 😭 THE RIZZ
user17 is the last pic y/n
yourusername
liked by maxverstappen1, lilymhe, and 411,089 others
yourusername not much going on lately 💐⛸️
view all 6,731 comments
lilymhe wow you look beautiful and then there's me
yourusername you are literally the prettiest girl in the world..
alex_albon i second this
lilymhe 🤔
user18 hello soft launch..?
user19 max in the likes!!!!
user20 "not much going on" miss ma'am u met max verstappen last week and now he's in ur likes
liked by yourusername
user21 she liked this comment...
user22 seeing a soft launch as the nosiest person in the world is hell
user23 some u you are toooo much it's just some flowers
user24 right like relax
maxverstappen1 posted a story
liked by danielricciardo, yourusername, and 144,097 others
user25 y/n???
user26 THAT'S Y/N
user27 can't tell if this is a hard launch or not
user28 ur going to gaslight us and say ur just friends arent u
interview ->
twitter ->
instagram ->
yourusername posted a story
liked by charles_leclerc, yourbff, and 88,103 others
yourbff max??!
yourusername yes omg 😭
yourbff stopp omg.. a romantic streak who would've thought
user34 omg hii y/n
user35 did max do this for u 👀
user36 i just know this was max
user37 OMG SO ROMANTIC
yourusername posted a story
liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 219,294 others
user38 where are u going y/n 🤔
user39 conveniently travelling in line with the next race.....
lilymhe yippeeeeee
yourusername so excited
user40 OMGGG waiittt...
yourusername
liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, and 609,833 others
yourusername my first ever race
view all 8,074 comments
maxverstappen1 ❤️
liked by yourusername
user41 omg she was actually there
user42 the red bull shirt she's so real
danielricciardo was so great to meet you y/n!
yourusername you too omg sorry for being so starstruck 🫣
danielricciardo dont worry about it, happens to the best of us 🤓
user43 OMGGGGG
user44 ur so lucky y/n
user45 ikr she's living my dream
user46 the last pic😭😭😭 im trying to be so normal about them
maxverstappen1
liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 719,284 others
maxverstappen1 a couple things to smile about lately
tagged: yourusername
view all 17,183 comments
user47 never clicked on a post notif so fast
user48 this is so personal to me
user49 the caption...he's down bad
user50 she looks so elegant skating
user51 his & hers 😭 oh they're in love fr
yourusername omggggg i just screamed
user52 she's one of us fr
yourusername you are so amazing
maxverstappen1 says the prettiest girl i've ever seen 👀
yourusername stop it you'll make me blush im out in public rn 🤭
THE END ❤️
#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 smau#f1 fic#f1 x reader#smau#f1 imagine#max verstappen#mv1#mv33#mv1 fic#mv33 imagine#mv1 imagine#mv1 x reader#mv33 x reader#mv33 fic#maddie's smau
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how bout a charles leclerc x kpop idol reader? where charles and the reader have been dating even before they became famous. theyve been soft-launching each other for years and years, and the fans are trying to figure it out.
ps: i imagine jennie kim as the face claim (i love her sm)
gf reveal please
summary: when fans are manifesting a relationship they don’t know already exists
pairing: charles leclerc & reader
liked by lewishamilton and 5,928,193 others
youruser happiest girl in the worlddd
view all 34,828 comments
rubylove to the person that sends her blue flowers every year for her birthday, thank you <3
heartyn the way she’s always getting the same flowers every year 😭
petrolh lewis what are u doing here 👀
pink1 pretty sure they did a campaign together recently so nothing juicy from them
rosiesyn i just want to know who’s been gifting her flowers every year
liked by carlossainz16, landonorris, pierregasly and 2,928,019 others
charles_leclerc from the camera roll 📸
view all 26,929 comments
lecler16 ahhh not charles in his soft launch the flowers again???!-
scuder1a going to pretend i didn’t see the last slide 🫶🏻
pierregasly 😁
amorcl ???
lestapa33n what does this mean
pinkari i want to say something but i don’t want to get ratioed on here too
liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc, carlossainz16, and 4,729,019 others
youruser uk recap (ps. wasn’t exactly the results we wanted but still had a good time!)
view all 34,929 comments
pinkscuderia HELLO YN WAS AT SILVERSTONE AND THERE WAS NO PICTURES OF HER AT THE PADDOCK??!/!/
ynnniviee we were robbed of yn content at the race
char_les PLEASE TELL ME WE HAVE SOME CONTENT OF YN WITH THE DRIVERS scuderiaferrari
scuderiaferrari 🤭
sainzchar DOES THAT MEAN YESS???
scuderiaferrari see you again next race?
pinkari CHARLES IN THE LIKES??? ONE STEP CLOSER TO MY SHIP SAILING
lechairs but charles already has a gf…
liked by landonorris, youruser, and 2,292,019 others
charles_leclerc 9th. not the results we were expecting but thank you for the continuous support. next stop break.
view all 24,425 comments
itsleclerc silverstone + strategist screwed over charles this weekend but the man still has the mood to soft launch..
clmcquen shout to to charles gf for helping him through this tough time
lechairrie one day ferrari will stop fcking up charles
ynmon would have been great if yn got to celebrate a win with ferrari :(
youruser forever proud! comment has been deleted
sainzchair ENOUGH with posting the back of her head gf reveal pls
liked by youruser, carlossainz55, maxverstappen1 and 4,420,324 others
charles_leclerc always nice to spend the holidays with family ❤️
view all 34,028 comments
itslec1erc it’s been 5 holidays gf reveal when 🥹
scuderiaferrari lovely family ❤️
carlossainz55 this a big ass tree
landonorris psa! charles gf makes more money than him
charles_leclerc as she should :)
alex_albon when i borrowed $200 from her and she didn’t ask for it back 💃🏻
ynlnlover is anymore here from yn recent post?!
liked by charles_leclerc, yourbestfriend, lewishamilton and 4,593,013 others
youruser happy holidays everyone!
view all 43,505 comments
ariyn the dress... the tree... the private jet
sharleclerc waittt is this the girl from charles recent post???
landonorris oop the dots are connecting
georgerussell63 did you get me a christmas gift this year??
youruser uM haha
ynhearrt NOO MOTHER FIRST DATING RUMOR 💔
plsyn f1 driver x kpop idol is the weirdest crossover i’m sorry???
liked by carlossainz55, maxverstappen1, pierragasly, youruser and 29,210,425 others
charles_leclerc took her on a trip for our fifth anniversary ❤️
tagged: youruser
view all 98,184 comments
pierregasly damn i wanted to be the one who did the reveal 💔
youruser ilyy 💞
carlossainz55 does this mean i can finally post my pictures 😭
sharlcare STOP THIS IS SO UNEXPECTED
ynmomm THE VISUALS WNSNDNSNW
scuderiaferrari parents 🫶🏻
liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, lewishamilton and 12,244,091 others
youruser me and my man <3
tagged: charles_leclerc
view all 80,241 comments
pinkari EVERY TONGUE THAT RISES AGAINST ME SHALL FALL
leschairs it was you and me against the world :(
charles_leclerc yn only agreed to hard launch cause she didn’t want pierre to reveal it himself 😞
pierregasly you never want to see me win :/
landonorris adopt me 🫶🏻
ynfan THE PRETTIEST COUPLE
charlyn don’t know who i want more, yn or charles 😭
carlossainz55 don’t forget about me 🥹
#charles leclerc au#charles leclerc#formula 1 imagine#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc smau#formula one smau#f1 instagram au#formula 1 x reader#f1 imagine
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CLARA BOW // charles leclerc
charles leclerc x figureskater!reader
part 2 part 3 part 4
summary: you're an aspiring olympic gold medalist who just wants to compete and have fun. on the way there, a handsome monegasque f1 driver slides into your dms and changes the trajectory of your life.
note: my first time doing a smau! i've seen and read so many of these that i thought i may as well add one to the pile. there's one tiny error here, and that's the date on some of the tweets: they're in march. winter olympics takes places in february, but i've just decided to ignore it for the sake of the story and pretend that it's in march.
the fc here is mariah bell, but feel free to imagine yourself or whoever you want. comment, like, and reblog if you enjoyed this and want a pt. 2 (maybe with some actual writing in it??)
y/n l/n
liked by usfigureskating, graciegold95, and 12,017 others
y/n l/n Arms up! Ready for the ride of a lifetime!
view all 153 comments...
nat_.nug y/n looks like a princess!
sk8tergurl95 ok but the way you literally float off the ice!?
graciegold95 good luck! rooting for you! ❤️ by author
y/n l/n hello?? my literal inspiration 🥹
cyannnnna the olympic gold medal for ladies' figure skating is coming back to the u.s.! i just know it! ❤️ by author
sportsillustrated
liked by charles_leclerc, adaripp, and 31,551 others
sportsillustrated Meet Y/N L/N and her Olympic bronze medalist coach Adam Rippon (right), in this snapshot taken outside of the Wagon Wheel Figure Skating Club in Crystal Lake, Illinois, just a month before the winter Olympics commence! L/N, 23 years of age, is the U.S. favorite to win a title in Beijing. In an interview with Sports Illustrated Magazine (link in the bio), L/N talks of her hopes, fears, strengths and weaknesses going into the competition.
view all 181 comments...
heyitslena thanks for clarifying which one of them adam is, @sportsillustrated 😭
y/n l/n thanks for having me, guys! an absolute honor to be featured!
lecfosigirlie came here to like a post about my fave figure skater, only to see charles lurking in the likes 😮
sharleclair thank god i'm not hallucinating 😭 what is he doing here?
annaisstoopid sometimes i start feeling good about myself, then i remember y/n l/n started casually figure skating at 16, won her first world championship at 20, and is now officially an olympic athlete 😭
y/n l/n
liked by cassievilleneuve, charles_leclerc, and 27,461 others
y/n l/n Hey look it’s me on Instagram again!! 😂 Just popped on to share some photos of the most amazing experience of my life!! Can’t wait for my turn on the ice next week!! GO USA❤️ thank you all so much for your support, I can feel it all the way over here in China 🥰🥰
view all 448 comments...
cassievilleneuve go bestie go! win this one so i can beat your ass in milano-cortina '26 😉 ❤️ by author
y/n l/n still so sad you couldn't come 😢 but i know 2026 is gonna be your year! ❤️ by cassievilleneuve
cassievilleneuve the friends that skate together stay together 🫡
charles_leclerc that's a nice color jacket 😉❤️
y/n l/n it is, isn't it? 😄
adiforza omg!?
f1wagfr are ya'll seeing this or am i still drunk 😳
danielricciardo 👀 👀
f1wagfr DANIEL WHAT DO YOU KNOW
avtrusova ❤️
y/n l/n ❤️
charles_leclerc
liked by y/n l/n, f1, and 1,003,224 others
charles_leclerc Smiiiiiiiiiile, P1!! All about that last lap in Q3 and I’m very happy with the job done today. Can’t wait for tomorrow 🇦🇺
view all 5,043 comments...
y/n l/n congrats 🎉 those were some epic moves you pulled off today! i may be an f1 convert ❤️ by author
cassievilleneuve muahahahaha mission success!
lenalenalena girl your competition is literally 3 days away how are you finding time to watch a race 😭
charles_leclerc thank you so much 😊 although it does not compare to skating and jumping on ice
y/n l/n i'm sure that's not true! there must be so much training that goes into driving like that if you lose weight every time you compete!
charles_leclerc the training can be pretty intense 😄 would you like to come and see?
lecfosigirlie asdfhergerkfje!!!
amylovescharlie ladies and gentlemen we've lost him 😭
ferrarifurlyfe charles rizzclerc!?!?
#charles leclerc#ferrari#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc smau#charles leclerc social media au#formula 1#formula one#f1#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader
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real reconoce real ! | carlos sainz x fem! football player! reader!
summary; everyone knew carlos is a huge madridista, nobody ever expected for him to date one of their female players
fc; athenea + girls from pinterest
note; idk how to explain it but ‘crack’ is like slang for cool😭 but carlos being a madridista is everything to me
masterlist !
liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 1,039,937 others!
carlossainz55: fue un placer a ver el nuevo estadio santiago bernabéu, muchísimas gracias ! hala madrid!🤍 [it was a pleasure to see the new santiago bernabeu stadium, thank you very much!]
tagged; realmadrid
vinijr: fue en placer, smooth operator 😎🌶️[it was a pleasure]
carlossainz55: igualmente, nuestro 7! [likewise, our 7]
username: madridista carlos is everything
username: as a culer, i love carlos
charles_leclerc: oh i wish to see your reaction 😂
yourusername: never seen a man so excited before 🤣
yourusername: nice jersey!
carlossainz55: it’s gorgeous, right?
camavinga: 🔥
username: historia que ti hiciste historia por hacerrr
username: mr smooth operator 😎😎
liked by carlossainz55, judebellingham, and 596,927 others!
yourusername: otra victoria en casa! hala madrid! 🤍 [another victory at home]
tagged; realmadridfem
judebellingham: crackkkkk
liked by yourusername
carlossainz55: nuestra potm 😎 [our player of the match]
yourusername: ya tu sabes 😁 [you already know]
username: porque nadine resiste tus ganas de vencerrr
username: my goat
username: prettiest ever
username: y’all seeing carlos sainz in her likes 👀👀
username: and comments 😫
username: jude bellingham commented??
username: duh he’s a real madrid player and he’s supporting their women’s team silly
liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, and 1,204,927 others!
carlossainz55: G R A Z I E 🇮🇹❤️
tagged; scuderiaferrari
yourusername: que crackkk🌶️
carlossainz55: 😎
username: p3! you make all of us proud
username: forza ferrari!
charles_leclerc: great day for ferrari!
username: hey siri, play smooth operator!
username: vamos!!!
username: 👏 👏
username: bien hecho!! ❤️❤️ [well done]
username: y/n commenting, i am connecting the dots
username: you aren’t connecting anything
scuderiaferrari: ❤️❤️
liked by carlossainz55, vinijr, and 602,938 others!
yourusername: un fin de semana muy especial ❤️🌶️💙 [a very special weekend]
tagged; vinijr, scuderiaferrari, mercedesamgf1
vinijr: los mas rápidos 😎😎😎 [the fastest]
yourusername: obviamenteeeee💅💅 [obviously]
scuderiaferrari: pleasure to have you!!❤️🤍🤍
mercedesamgf1: thanks for joining us 🙌💙🤍
username: guys she was in the ferrari garage…
username: it’s a coincidence it has to be!
carlossainz55: mi amuleto de la suerte🍀[my lucky charm]
yourusername: ❤️🤍
username: HIS COMMWNT??
username: q linda [how pretty]
username: crackkk😝
username: my fave football players + my fave f1 teams together 😫
liked by carlossainz55, linda__caicedo11, and 789,938 others!
yourusername: real reconoce real [real recognizes real]
tagged; carlossainz55
carlossainz55: mi amor🤍 [my love]
yourusername: mi querido 🤍🤍 [my dear]
linda__caicedo11: por fin 🤣 [finally]
yourusername: waited too long!
camavinga: y/n and her madridista boyfriendddddddd
yourusername: i won the lottery 💯
username: llevo tu camisetaaaa pegada al corazónnnn
judebellingham: i like it, picasso!!
liked by yourusername!
username: HELLO??
username: i actually called this
username: awhhh
olgacarmona7: now we know the reason for your amazing performance last week🤣😂
yourusername: shhh🤫🤫
username: why are they so perfect for each other
username: guess carlos p3 and the real madrid remontada [comeback] made them hard launch their relationship 😭😭😭
username: it’s the madrid dna
liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 1,038,938 others!
carlossainz55: yo real nací y real me muero [real i was born and real i will die]
tagged; yourusername
yourusername: te quiero 🥹 [i love you]
carlossainz55: te quiero muchísimo ❤️ [i love you very much]
username: can’t even hate they’re so cute
username: i wanna be jealous but gosj lskdkd
username: madrid madrid madrid
username: hala madrid
username: y nada más
username: sitting on the highway tonight
username: i want what they have
landonorris: my parents 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️🤍🤍
yourusername: nuestro hijo 🤍 [our son]
carlossainz55: hijo????
landonorris: VAMOSSS [lets go]
alexandrasaintmleux: my ferrari girl🥹❤️ love u
yourusername: love u❤️
charles_leclerc: #betrayal
charles_leclerc: couldn’t even do a proper soft launch 🤣🤣
carlossainz55: i tried my best
username: carlos sainz dating a female player from his childhood football club is everything🥹
#formula one social media au#f1 smau#formula one x reader#formula one scenarios#formula one imagines#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 scenario#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz imagine
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Baked with Love
Carlos Sainz x baker!reader
summary: where everyone is just obsessed with yn's pastries or where carlos is jealous because everybody seem to be obsessed of yn and her pastries.
warning/s: none
author's note: just a sudden burst of imagination. Anyway please let me know of what you think of it. It would be nice to hear some feedbacks! ❤️
yourusername
liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, and 764,084 others
yourusername baking a little something
view 452 comments...
carlossainz55 I don't think I can finish all of that, mi amor
yourusername who says they're for you?
user1 HELP
user2 NOT YN HUMBLING CARLOS DOWN
landonorris did u make some for me yn?
yourusername kids shouldn't consume too much sweets
user3 I LOVE YN OMG😭
user4 not yn humbling them both😭
user5 I LOVE YN SO MUCH SHE JUST BAKES AND PUT CARLOS IN HIS PLACE
user6 DOES CARLOS REALIZED HOW BAD OF A BITCH YN IS
user7 RIGHT? HE BETTER WIFE HER UP
liked by carlossainz55 and 234 others
user8 NOT HIM LIKING THE COMMENT
user9 he better get the hint
user10 he should because i will do my best to steal yn!
scuderiaferrari
liked by carlossainz55, charlesleclerc, and 422, 054 others
scuderiaferrari what a way to start the race week in the ferrari hospitality! thank you for these delicious cookies yourusername! we might have to add these to the menu next race week!
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user1 THAT LOOKS SO GOOD
user2 i might have to disguise myself as a ferrari staff to get my hands on those cookies
user3 count me in!
user4 gonna sneak in the ferrari hospitality for the cookies
yourusername you better not f up the strategy or no more cookies!
user5 she's so real for this
user6 i do believe the cookies will work like a charm
user7 she's just like us😭
redbullracing what do we have to do to get a taste of the cookies? 👀
yourusername maybe if you let carlossainz55 through I will consider
user8 I LOVE HER YOUR HONOR
user9 SHE'S SO😭
carlossainz55
liked by charlesleclerc, landonorris, and 893,434 others
carlossainz55 no better way to celebrate your birthday than your girlfriend baking your cake! I love you, mi amor. ❤️
tagged: yourusername
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yourusername i love you too! you're stuck with me and my pastries 🥰
carlossainz55 wouldn't have it any other way❤️
user1 IM SO SINGLE
user2 ME WHEN
user3 suddenly i wanna be a bird on the race track and just be ran over
landonorris ew couple
carlossainz55 kids are not allowed here
user4 not lando being their honorary child
scuderiaferrari happy birthday to our smooth operator!
charlesleclerc happy birthday mate! You better leave some cake for us
landonorris he better be
danielricciardo yourusername please sneak some in the paddock next race
carlossainz55 this is for me only!
yourusername there's plenty enough for you all stop fighting like kids
user5 YN AND HER BAKED GOODS
user6 CAN YOU GIVE US SOME TOO YN
liked by yourusername and 23 others
yourusername
liked by carlossainz55, danielricciardo, and 694,903 others
yourusername it is definitely a challenge to bake a lot of cookies😅
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carlossainz55 I'm so hurt that I don't get to keep it all
landonorris stop gatekeeping yn's cookies!
user1 oh to be carlos sainz, who literally tastes everything yn bakes before anyone else😭
user2 one day there will be a get together at carlos and yn's house for the drivers because of how good yn's baking is.
user8 I will be waiting for that
charlesleclerc I will enter the paddock early, last time everybody finished it and there's nothing left for me
lewishamilton roscoe thinks the cookies are good, can he please have some?
yourusername roscoe can have as much as he wants!
user3 NOT LEWIS USING HIS DOG TO GET SOME COOKIES
user4 sir there is a line!
user5 sir please go to the back we're all waiting here
lilymhe please give me some🥺
yourusername i will never forget to give you some bae❤️
carlossainz55 life is really unfair
user6 how is carlos surviving this? he literally has so much competitors for yn's pastries
user7 i mean can u blame them she's literally the sweetest girl ever🥺
carlossainz55
liked by charlesleclerc, landonorris, and 1,023,649 others
carlossainz55 you get to taste the baked goodies but I get to taste the baker😉
view 73,394 comments...
user1 HE'S HERE TO REMIND US OF OUR PLACE😭
user2 IM SO SINGLE
user3 i hate it here
user4 why can't single people be left in peace
landonorris get off my timeline
carlossainz55 get off instagram then
yourusername you can just tell me you want tiramisu no need to make a post 😉
user5 MOTHER
carlossainz55 you know me so well, my love
user6 YN SO REAL
user7 IS NO ONE GONNA TALK ABOUT THE CAPTION😭
user8 IN BROAD DAYLIGHT?
user9 not the smooth operator for nothing
please send me requests of any scenario with a driver ❤️ I'd love to make them on my free time.
#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz#carlos sainz fluff#carlos sainz smut#f1 socmed au#f1 fluff#f1 fic#carlos sainz social media au#f1 imagine#f1 x you#smau#f1 smau
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The landing | joel miller x f!reader, 13.2k
Summary: You feel him before you see him. He’s still taking up space in your micro-universe. His sole presence creates ripples through the atmosphere as he walks towards you, softly nudging you to turn your head from your spot to look behind you.
Or
The one where your orbits finally collide for the final showdown.
Warnings: 18+ MDNI, NO SPOILER (read A/N), ANGST, cheater!joel, discussions of infidelity, mention of food consumption, yelling, crying, the briefest mention of smut thoughts, sprinkle of fluff (blink and you'll miss it), as always let me know if I missed anything 👀
A/N: Ok, *deep breath* I know I can't make everyone happy unless I write alternate endings 😅 and I understand that infidelity can be a very triggering concept. I gave them the ending I felt they both deserved, but if you're looking for a story where they are at each other's throats for 13k words, maybe this is not for you and you are more than welcome to kindly move on.
I won't spoil the ending in the Warnings, so proceed with caution, you know what the main theme is all about. All I can tell you is that this part of the story is divided into two main scenes because I didn't want to drag it out with one little scene after another. *she says after spilling 13k words🙄sorry about that👀*
As always, I would love to read your thoughts on the last part and please keep in mind that writing is almost always self-indulgent.
P.S. I want to thank each and every one of you for the love I received for this mini-series, I never thought it would engage so many people. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. You've all been so kind and sweet to me, so this journey filled my heart with joy!
I love you all, take care of yourselves and I'll see you -hopefully- in the comments!
Oh! My asks are always open if you want to know more about their story. I could even write drabbles or one-shots about anything you'd like to know in particular. Ily, bye 😘
P.S. I deliberately left the last two lines without clarification of who says what, I leave that up to you. 🤍
Dividers by @cafekitsune @saradika-graphics @plum98
previous |
FOUR YEARS AFTER THE FALL
Are you still falling?
You’re not sure anymore. Maybe you’re just used to it. Or maybe you just learned how to fly. It certainly feels like everything has slowed down. Sometimes it feels like floating. As if you’re a feather, so lightweight, swirling around aimlessly. But you can never touch the ground. Gravity can’t quite pull you down. Every time you feel like you’re finally landing, a force of nature pulls you back up.
Maybe it is a soft, warm, summer breeze, a memory of Joel.
Maybe it is a whirlwind, a contact from the lawyers.
Maybe it is a snowstorm, sign the papers, please.
Maybe it is the whispering of a gentle wind, the possibilities of what might have been, or the lack of real closure.
But it’s nice here. Even between the earth and the sky.
You never thought you’d enjoy leaving the big city and making a home for yourself on a ranch. But you loved it. You loved the peace and quiet, you loved this new community of people, you loved taking care of the horses, riding them, being around them. And then there was the house. A place you could almost call home. It was beautiful, rustic, warm, inviting, lacking none of the comforts a modern house needs, because you can’t quite get the big city girl out of you. The entire land had a soft, yellow-golden light enveloping every tree and every rock, everywhere your eyes reached, as if the sun shone differently here.
The days are easy. The chores are more than enough to keep you focused, there’s always something to do around here. It feels good to be busy, to keep your mind from dwelling on the past. You welcome the exhaustion of a full day’s work that accompanies your body when night comes.
Evenings are mostly good. You shower the day off, you cook, you chill on the couch with a good book or a film and more often than not, as the time passes and you feel more comfortable sharing the privacy of your home, you have friends over for dinner and drinks.
Nights though, nights are hard. At night, you pray that you are tired to the point of exhaustion so that you can sleep through it peacefully. Sometimes it works, but most of the time, not so much.
Time has intensified and lessened your emotional burden simultaneously.
The sharp pain that feels like thick acid being poured into you mellows in an inexplicable way. It still hurts, the pain oozing out of your every single pore even in a physical way. Only now, it has transformed into a sweet, slow poison conquering every hollow of your body, every vein leading from your heart to the ends of your limbs.
It’s almost a welcoming feeling, this pain, reminding you that you’re still alive, that he was real, that everything that happened was real. Because sometimes, sometimes, when you let yourself relax, when you let your guard down, all of this feels like a dream. Sometimes, you wake up in the middle of the night, confused, reaching with your hand for the other side of the bed and finding it empty. And for a split second you get that feeling. The feeling of how it used to be with him next to you.
Then you remember.
You know why this is happening and who’s responsible for it. This is a mix-up. This is what your treacherous brain does to mess with your resolve. It blends the bad stuff into the good, creating the strangest of concoctions. The clear image of black and white, neatly and perfectly hung in the center of the walls of your mind is now splashed with colorful memories from your life together, like a Pollock painting. You do your best to resist, to bring back scenes from all the vivid recollections of the night your life changed forever but your uncooperative brain pops another memory up, a good fuckin’ memory, like a projector, illuminating those bare imaginary walls with laughter and touches and whispers and scents and warmth. It’s relentless.
This dichotomy creates an uneasiness inside you, you choose to reject and pretend not to notice. Which in turn leads to self-contempt because, as always you can’t lie to yourself. You may lie to others but deep in your core you have to be honest with yourself. That is something you’re owed. To be aware, present in the reality of your life. So, you know, you know, you just sweep things under the carpet as a copy mechanism. You know what you should do.
You should confront him. You should demand answers and then finally say what you need to say to him. Not for him, not for his sake, but for yours. But you can’t. You've lost count of how many times you've picked up the phone and your thumb hovered over his contact to call him but you just can’t bring yourself to do it. And every time you tried to text him, to start a conversation, it felt too awkward. The only acceptable subject of discussion initiated by you was the progress of the divorce papers. You were unable to even remotely insinuate a more meaningful encounter. And he didn’t make any advances either. Not that you gave him any room to try and talk to you, but still, he seemed more settled with that, rather than not.
Maybe that fact itself was your cue to let it all go. He’s probably moved on. You don’t cheat on someone so blatantly and then want them back. Obviously, this whole delaying of the divorce is a power play, like everything else, it seems.
Good, yeah, that’s it. That’s it.
Now, let go. Move on. You solved it. Let go.
But this annoying little voice is scratching the walls of your weary brain, nudging the limits of the carefully made up serenity that’s hanging by a thread.
You should confront him. For your peace of mind, for your equilibrium.
But it’s nice here. Even between the earth and the sky.
Joel, will you please sign the papers?
It’s early in the evening and you’re in the garden in front of the house near the porch, on your knees, plucking a few weeds from the ground. The fatigue of the day’s work has begun to take its toll on you, your shoulder is slightly trembling as you rest your weight on one palm to dig around with the other. Sweat covers your torso, rolling down between the valley of your breasts and the hollow between your spine, leaving your t-shirt clinging to your skin, your hair sticking to your forehead, which is lightly covered in a thin layer of dirt at some places as you keep wiping your forearm over the little beads of salty water that concentrate over your brows.
You feel him before you see him. He’s still taking up space in your micro-universe. His sole presence creates ripples through the atmosphere as he walks towards you, softly nudging you to turn your head from your spot to look behind you.
There's an overload of sensations before you shift your body around to confirm what you already know in your bones. You can smell him, taste him, feel him on your suddenly tingling skin, all at the same time.
You turn slowly and your breath hitches on your throat. You just stay in place, frozen, time infinitely stretching as you take him in from where you kneel on the ground. He stops abruptly the second his eyes meet yours and you could swear he’s holding his breath, his face completely unreadable.
He looks.. he looks like your Joel and nothing like him simultaneously. Soft yet imposing. Handsome yet battered. Determined yet lost. His clothing is simpler, dark jeans, green flannel over a black t-shirt and laced boots, as if he just returned from a working site. His curls are longer, framing his handsome face in a ridiculously good way, more white hairs nestle in his beard that is not that trimmed. Neither of you speak quite yet, taking each other in.
Your mind, your bizarre, ridiculous mind is working on figuring out what day it is. Why does it matter? Did you have an appointment? This is unexpected and a long time coming all at once, regardless of the day of the week. What comes next? Do you draw up an astrological map to determine if it's a compatible date for you to meet? Get it together.
Your facial expression must be pretty funny because Joel smiles awkwardly while scratching one side of his bearded cheek; hey, it’s me.
No, shit, you mentally respond, as if you could ever forget him. Furious is the word that best describes you because these are his first words? Hey, it’s me? And that feeling escalates into an explosive retort because you now realize that you had expectations. His first words? Who cares what his first words are? Were you expecting a tearful reunion, masterfully staged and executed like a romantic film? The guy betrayed you in your own house, sorry, his house. Wake the fuck up.
“Did you sign the papers?” you spit as you rise from your spot and he reacts as if you have punched him in the stomach. His face falls; you see a series of micro-expressions pass over his features before he settles on the last one. Has he been hurt? Did you hurt his feelings? Did he also have expectations?
“Uh-”, Joel raises his brows in genuine surprise, things probably not going the way he expected or hoped.
“It’s nice to see you, too.”, he replies with mild mockery.
Your eyes snap shut and you laugh in anger, lowering your chin to your chest and then looking back up at him, your eyes blazing, your brows mimicking his previously surprised expression, “Are you serious right now?” you cross your hands defensively over your chest.
You stare at each other for a good minute, both of you taking a moment to compose yourselves and regain your balance.
You break first, dropping your head back to your chest, looking down at the heel of your shoe scraping the ground beneath you, exhaling audibly.
“Hey,” Joel tries again, after speaking your name tenderly, your name on his lips, his head dipping down and to the side to try and get your attention back to him, his gaze filled with a mixture of warmth, regret and fear, “hi.”
You shake your head from side to side in repentance, what a great start this is, you keep thinking, “Hi.” is all you give him, still not looking at him.
“Hi,” he repeats, “it’s really nice to see you, bab-, shit, sorry.”, he winces, covering his mouth with his palm, embarrassment creeping into his features. You let out a quiet laugh, exhaling through your nose. You don’t comment on the slip of endearment that leaves his mouth, you don’t correct him, accepting privately that you liked it, you missed it, you longed for it.
Joel studies your face, but makes no comment on your silence. “You look...” he pauses for a split second before deciding to continue, “you look really good.” He hesitates, he doesn't want his compliment to come across as a feeble attempt to patronize you, because he really means it. You do look good, all sweaty and muddy and human and real. You are real. If he took a few steps forward, he could actually reach out and touch you, feel your skin under his fingertips, smell your heady scent, perhaps discreetly lick the remnants of your sweat from his thumb after carefully removing the strands of hair sticking on your forehead. But he doesn’t do that. He doesn’t do any of that.
You don’t quite know how to respond to that, any answer crossing your mind seems stupid or cheesy or dismissive. How do you respond to a compliment from the man who made you worship in his altar, only to have your faith ripped out of your heart?
His eyes keep roaming over your face, your figure, memorizing everything he can, like a blind man who has finally found his light, while he fidgets with an envelope in his hand which reminds you-
“Did you sign the papers, Joel?”, is what escapes your lips before you can think twice.
“No.” and now it’s his turn to lower his head, his eyes avoiding your gaze, as he looks down at his feet.
“Joel!”, you exclaim infuriated, rolling your eyes at him, knitting your brows together in a sign of frustration.
“No, no, it’s not like that. I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever you want.”, Joel raises a hand in your direction to stop you from what seems to be a fair assumption, his palm up, facing you in an unspoken surrender. “I thought that- me, not signing, was a way of showing you how deeply sorry I am, how much I wanted to fix our marriage, but I understand now,” his voice wavers slightly, “that I need to respect your wishes. It’s the right thing to do. If this is still what you want, I’m gonna sign it.”
You don’t reply to that last part, only pointing out that “You didn’t have to come all this way to tell me that.”
“No, I didn’t.” Joel agrees.
“Then why are you here?” you insist, reluctant to entertain the idea that he has actually come all this way to apologize.
“Because I owe you an explanation.” is his honest and direct answer, sending little jolts of electricity through your nerves.
“Joel..” you sigh in exasperation. Not in warning or frustration, not really, but in something else. A feeling you can’t really put a name to, the closest you can come to describing it is that of a burden, woven deep into your heart, blossoming rapidly with each beat. There are so many things left unsaid; it makes you feel helpless, like you’re drowning. You want the dam you’ve built around your soul over the years to break so everything you've been holding back can finally pour out of you, but there’s just so much of it, of everything, that you’re terrified. Will the overflowing tank of emotions be completely empty? Will there be anything left unsaid? Untouched? What if the remnants left behind keep licking around your wounds, their waves pushing, shaping what’s left of you into something new, unrecognizable?
And what if, the tank will indeed be completely empty? What you’ll be left with, then? Nothing? Just.. empty? Will you remain empty? What, if anything, will take its place? Will you recognize your new self? Will you like yourself? Will you be able to live in harmony with this shell of a person? This you; you know. You hated and pitied and caressed and comforted and forgave and nurtured you into some version of a new you. But this? Everything will be torn apart, the wounds will be freshly opened, accessible to be examined in detail, plucked and bled and bruised in an all-too-familiar way.
Joel’s voice snaps you out of your trance, “No, I do. I owe you more than that, actually, but that’s the least I can do. And I wanna do that while I’m still your husband. I want to explain myself as your husband. Apologize to my wife, as her husband. Then I’m gonna sign anything you want me to.”
“And if I don’t wanna hear what you have to say?”
“Then I’ll just sign the papers and leave you in peace.” Joel confesses in all his honesty.
You just nod, looking down on the ground. You take a deep breath to ground yourself. You can do this. You want to do this. You need to do this.
You walk towards the house and sit down on the steps of the porch, as he looks at you awkwardly, not knowing where to stand. You gesture with a tilt of your head for him to come sit next to you. You can do this. You realize that you didn’t invite him into the house and you feel a bit rude for that, but it's beyond your empathetic capacity to deal with him being here and to let him into the house as well. “I just like it out here, it’s calm and-”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, whatever makes you feel comfortable; I know you don’t want me here any longer than I have to be..” he interrupts you as he sits down next to you, his one side pressing against the end of the stairs, where the railing begins. He places the contract between your bodies, on the wooden floor.
It makes you uncomfortable, his statement, you always want people to feel welcome and relaxed around you. You internally chastise yourself for worrying about his feelings instead of yours, but you can’t help it, it’s embedded in your DNA. “It’s OK, Joel, I don’t mind, we can talk.”
Joel nods, but he remains silent. You don’t break the silence, giving him time to collect his thoughts. He chuckles defeated, shaking his head while rubbing his hand over his face.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, you don’t look that mighty to me anymore.” you blurt out before you can stop yourself and you immediately regret it. It didn’t sound so insulting in your head. You only meant to say that he doesn’t intimidate you anymore. Which is sort of a lie and a truth at the same time. You used to find him imposing, even his mere presence had the ability to make your skin crawl, your heart flutter and your words get catch in your dry throat, you were in awe of him. Every time you laid your eyes at him, even when you were straddling his lap or gazing at his profile as he slept beside you, you always felt as if you were looking up. You admired him.
His heart loses several beats to that. He can read between your lines now. He has lost your respect. Your admiration. The time when you looked up to him in awe is long gone.
“You know, my therapist warned me about this.”, he chuckles bitterly.
“Your-” you can’t hide your shocked expression from him as you search his eyes for any sign of him joking around, but you find none. “You’ve been in therapy?”
“Yeah, I-, I spent two years hating myself,” he chuckles deprecatingly, “and then I realized it was time for me to stop being an arrogant prick, so I spent another two doing it all over again with the help of my therapist.”
You laugh wholeheartedly at that and it’s the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen in his entire life. “OK, somebody’s off to a good start. Go on.”
“You mean about the therapy?”
“I mean about you admitting you are an arrogant prick”, you say playfully.
He really laughs now, his eyes crinkle up at the sides. You used to love that. You feel your heart warming up. “You can thank Maria for that.”
“For what?”
“For kicking my ass and pushing me to help myself.” Joel admits. “She’s a good friend.”
“Yeah, she is.” you agree through your laughter, the image of Maria actually kicking Joel’s ass is priceless.
“I missed that sound.” Joel is looking at you softly, as if his gaze could break you.
“Hm.” you simply smile at him, not finding it in you to respond with a snide remark. The time for that feels like it has passed, like it’s irrelevant at this point. All you really want is to have an honest conversation, irony be damned.
You both look at your feet in silent consideration for a minute or two. “I thought you’d be mad at me.” Joel reveals.
You exhale through your nose, the edges of your mouth turning up in a gentle smile. “Four years is a long time to be mad at anyone, Joel. Even you don’t have that kind of power over me.”
“Good. I have enough burden on my shoulders as it is..”, he mumbles and you decide to change the subject.
How do you admit that you are still mad at him but in a different way? How do you describe the deep scar his existence has carved into your soul making it almost unbearable to even exist without him? How do you explain that you’ll always carry him with you, no matter what? How do you instill in him that you still believe in the best version of him, the best version you know he can be, the best version of him you once lived with. Yes, you’re not mad at him for the reasons he thinks you are. You’re mad at him because the way he made you love him is stronger than any hurt he’s ever caused you.
“So, what did your therapist warn you about?”
“She, uh- she tried to prepare me for this.”
“Oh? What did she say?”
“That I should not be prepared.”, he laughs in earnest. “That I should not obsess about what I want to say and just be open and have an honest interaction.”
“I like her, already.” you say with a straight face.
He smiles softly, looking down at his boots, while he rests his elbows on his knees, one palm encircling the other. “Yeah… I had some digging to do; I still do for that matter and will be for a long time it seems.”
“Anything you wanna share?” you reply, raising an eyebrow as if you had no idea why he was here.
“Oh, boy-” he squirms in his seat, already overwhelmed by the turn of the conversation, his chest almost vibrating with anxiety, he can barely swallow, small beads of sweat starting to form around his temples. You reluctantly reach for his forearm, trying to calm him down. “Hey, Joel?”
His whole body stiffens at your touch and he wishes his clothes would evaporate so he could feel your skin against his. He fixes his eyes on your delicate fingers lightly squeezing his tight muscles underneath the fabric. “The worst part has already happened four years ago, so-” you shrug, “just breathe.” Joel keeps his eyes on your hand, his heart rate dropping slightly; you ground him. You retract your arm and keep your hands to yourself in an effort to maintain a respectable distance between you. You shouldn’t have touched him at all.
“I think- I think I understand now.” he begins, still feeling the ghost of your touch on his forearm. “How I made you feel, what your words meant. You always did that, you know. And I found it so fascinating and so exhausting at the same time.”
You look at him, confused. Joel continues, “You always chose your words carefully. You had a reason for every single thing you said. In retrospect, I realized that you were handing me everything on a silver platter, but I was too self-absorbed to see it at the time.”
You nod in agreement, gesturing with your head for him to keep going.
Joel takes a deep breath, holding it inside his lungs for a while. His exhalation is controlled, measured. “Fuck. Okay. It was not just the fact itself. It was not just the cheatin’.”
Your stomach clenches violently at his words. The time has finally come and although you know what happened, you where there, when the words come out of Joel’s mouth it's as if you're pulled back to that threshold all over again. It really happened. You feel your hands sweating. “Go on.”, you pronounce carefully, already anxious your voice is going to betray you. You can do this.
“I don’t want to sound all full of myself-” Joel hesitates.
“You won’t.” you interrupt him with conviction. The truth has never frightened you. You welcome it. It feels like a form of catharsis, it feels like you’re finally being seen. Every nerve in your body is on fire. You’re ready for this, for the truth, if only he gives it to you. Please, set me free.
“I was your everything.” he whispers, almost embarrassed, his eyes not meeting yours. You don’t respond to that, not until he looks at you, although the admission shoots straight through your heart. You stare at the side of his face, almost forcing him to turn to you. He does.
“You were.” Simple. True. Clear as the light of day.
“And I ripped that from you.”
“You did.”
“In the worst possible way.”
“Hmhm.”, you don’t trust the stability of your voice.
“And no matter what I say, I can never take back what I did. I humiliated you, our home, our relationship, everything. I-” his brows furrow in an expression of disgust, “I disrespected myself. I burned everything down. I left nothing for you to hold on to, nothing for me to hope for, nothing.”
His chin trembles and his voice wavers as he continues. “The words to describe how sorry I am have not yet been invented. And even if they had, they still couldn’t take the pain away; what’s done, is done.”
He closes his eyes and rests his head on the railing. “I don’t know what I wish for anymore. That you had never met me, so you could be spared all this pain? But I can’t. I can’t wish that, because I’m so grateful to have met you. I married you, I had you. That is what has comforted me all these years, what has got me through all those sleepless nights.” He looks absolutely devastated, desperate.
It feels genuine, because he’s not directing it at you, he’s not trying to convince you, he’s not trying at all. “I have not thought about my pain or what I want from all this for a long time. All I pray for is-” his glistening eyes are searching frantically on the ground, his brows knitted together in a painful grimace. You rest your head on the palm of your hand, your elbow on your knee. Watching this moment like an outside observer, you realize that he's trying to live up to your standards, reminding you of a child trying to impress his parents, only to fail regardless of the outcome.
“Look, Joel, couples break up, divorce, all over the world, all the time. And I guess, they all thought their partners were their everything until they finally weren’t.”, you rationalize, putting everything that has happened into some kind of perspective. It is not the end of the world. It is the end of your world. He doesn’t have to carry this burden on his shoulders for eternity. All you need from him is to understand, to acknowledge what he's done to you, how broken you’ve been.
But if he acknowledges that, if he truly comprehends the tremendous pain he’s put you through, won’t all that anguish be transferred to him? Isn't it unbearable for a truly repentant man to know that he has deliberately caused so much pain?
“But, you see; I wanted that, I needed to be your everything.”
“It certainly fed your ego..” you grin at him.
“No, no- I craved that- that look on your face when your eyes were on me, like there was nothing else, no one else around you, but me. You drove me to be better, to move forward; I felt I had a purpose. You were my purpose.”
“Well I didn’t do much of a job then, did I?” you smile defeated.
“No, honey, this-” he’s determined to make you understand that it wasn't your fault, even if it is the last thing he is going to do. He licks his lips trying to formulate his thoughts, “-what happened, had nothing to do with you, I- I was just- I got in my head..”
You shake your head dismissively, “It’s a terrible burden to put people on a pedestal and expect them to-”
“But you see, baby, that’s the thing. You didn’t.”Joel dismisses your comment and if a bucket of ice-cold water was thrown over your head you wouldn’t feel so frozen. You search his eyes for meaning, because deep down it stings to hear that you could give more. Is that what he’s saying? You didn’t love him enough? Joel catches on and rushes to explain. “You-” god this is so hard, he’s struggling, can’t he just rip his heart open and let you examine it? “You loved me so much, baby and you never asked for anything in return. You let me be who I was. You accepted me completely. You set me free.” His eyes are blown wide, burning into yours with intensity. You look so lost, how does all this fit in with what he did then?
“Darlin’,” he expands further, “we live in a competitive world. Everyone aims to control each other, from business partners to lovers and spouses; everyone manipulates, everyone tries to tell you where to look, what to do, how to act, how to fuck, how to love. Except for you. You let me be. You put your heart in my hands and you set me free. And I took advantage of that and I am truly sorry. I’m more sorry than you’ll ever know. That’s how fucked up I am.” you look at him dumbfounded.
“I can’t connect the dots; I don’t get it, Joel, I’m sorry, I-” you run your fingers through your hair, scratching your scalp in frustration. What does he mean?
Joel winces mid-sentence because he can’t escape what’s coming. This is his last resort. And he knows it is going to sound cruel and he doesn’t even mean the first part the way you're going to perceive it, but for lack of better words, for lack of the better person he could have been, a person who should have never put you in this position in the first place, here goes.
“She made me feel wanted; you made me feel free.”,
he spits out in a hurry, praying to whatever god is listening, that you won’t even catch it, knowing full well that these may be the last words you'll ever let him speak to you.
You are utterly, completely, perfectly shocked.
Then you feel it for the first time in what feels like ages. That old friend consuming you. Rage. It burns your lungs, twists your guts and pierces your heart like a thousand needles. Everything becomes crystal clear. You’re so infuriated, that your mind goes blank. A million words and nothing at all come to your mind simultaneously.
“Let me- let me rephrase that, because actually it was never even about her, I just-” Joel begins, in a vain attempt to stop the tide from crushing you both.
Your palms become clenched fists in front of your mouth, pressing against it, crushing the velvety skin of the inside of your lips against your teeth until you draw blood, in an effort to control yourself. You inhale sharply, keeping your eyes fixed on the land in front of you, blurred by the tears gathering in your waterline.
“She- what?” are the only words you manage to choke out.
“Baby, it doesn’t matter, it was never about her, she was a means to an end and-” your eyes bulge out of your sockets at the statement, “I know- I know how that sounds- just-” his palms come together in a prayerful gesture, begging you to give him a chance to explain.
“A means to an- what the fuck are you talking about, Joel?” the veins on your forehead swell under your skin, creating a map of the river of wrath flowing aggressively through your body.
“It was never an affair sweetheart, but a transaction; one I initiated. She was only a boost to my ego.”
..she made me feel wanted..
..a boost to my ego..
It's all starting to make sense now, and it's the last thing you expect to be confronted with. You've always imagined either a heated affair, a secret love story, him realizing he had found his soul mate in someone else, or him getting bored with you, finding you too much or too emotional or too unlovable. It turns out that you were accused of the one thing you never were.
“Are you-, oh god,” you can hear your heart pounding in your ears now and it takes every ounce of strength not to vomit, “are you saying that you fucked someone else; you fucked your secretary for fuck’s sake, you fuckin’ cliché of a man, because I wasn’t jealous of you?”. Your throat is so swollen, you try to scream your words at him but they only come out in wrenched whispers.
You stand up abruptly, dizziness causing you to close your eyes tightly as you see a million white dots behind the blackness of your eyelids. Your whole body vibrates with rage. You steady yourself on the railing and then begin to pace back and forth, your hands unable to stay motionless, but moving over your face, through your hair, lowering and squeezing the sides of your waist as you lean slightly forward in a subconscious way to soothe yourself.
“Oh my god, oh my fucking god,” you laugh hysterically now, as angry tears run down your cheeks, as if you've been let in on an inside joke. “It’s my fault, everything is my fault-”
Joel is frozen in place, he’s not sure if he should get up and try to reason with you or stay where he is.. or run for the hills. He’s witnessing the unleashing of a caged animal. His tongue feels heavy and numb in the cavern of his mouth but he dares to speak again, “That’s the exact opposite of what I said, sweetheart,” he tries to explain in vain, “I’m sorry if that’s what I-” but you’re not listening to a single word he utters.
“People kept telling me, urging me on, all my life;” and you slap your palms on the sides of your thighs, looking at his direction, but not really looking, “I should be more controlling, more pushy, more..” your voice begins to fade, muttering to yourself through your teeth. “They warned me, you know, that the lack of pressure in any kind of relationship would be perceived as a lack of interest.”
Don't trust completely; hold something back; men like the illusion of power; show them you need them; make them jealous; be jealous, like a manual to a pre-installed setting.
Do you agree to the Terms & Conditions?
Press ‘Enter.’
“But I didn’t listen. I never listened. Because in what world do we choose a leash over freedom?” You turn to look at him now, addressing him as if you were talking to a third party, an outsider, asking for advise or affirmation.
Maria’s words come back to Joel’s mind, words that he had long forgotten about, finally fitting like missing pieces of a puzzle to the bigger picture.
“Maybe the wrong Miller is on a leash..”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Means that freedom is for those who can bear it.”
“I was really stupid, was I not? What on earth made me think that this time would be any different, what made me think that you’d be any different? You’re just- you’re just another man-” you spit your vile angrily as your eyes sweep over him. The look in his eyes is devastated, he feels shuttered, reduced to nothing.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid little girl. When the fuck will I learn? When the fuck am I going to accept that I don't really belong? When?”
Joel is staring at you bewildered, he never felt more helpless in his life. A thousand new thoughts and questions form in your head, things you didn’t even begin to imagine would cross your mind.
“Did you use her?” you ask with renewed vigor, a surge of energy running through your body.
Joel’s cheeks burn with humiliation but he has already admitted it once, what will it do to him to say it one more time? “Yes, I never had any feelings f-”
“No,” you interrupt impatiently, you don't care about his feelings right fuckin' now, “that night, did you use her? On purpose?”
Joel looks lost for a second but the cogs in his head finally turn and “NO! No baby, I wasn’t even aware of you coming home earlier than expected, no. Don’t even entertain this idea; it wasn’t intentional, I swear to god.”
Oh. There’s a new question for Joel. Why did you leave your business trip early? He had never thought about it before, solely focused on everything else that had happened, which now made him wonder, “Did you- did you know?”
“What?” you frown, lost in your own thoughts, not following his line of logic.
“Did you know? Is that why you came back early from your trip?”
You’re still a bit too far gone in your head to think clearly and try to prevent the next question from coming, “Of course I didn’t know, Joel, did it look like I did?” is all you say with a bite, annoyed.
“Then why-” Joel insists, pressuring you for an answer, but he doesn’t get to finish his sentence.
“I- fuck- I need a minute.” you declare and start to walk towards the house.
Joel waited on that porch for almost an hour, watching the sun set behind the mountain, afraid to move, barely breathing in case you stormed out and threw him back where he came from as if him standing still would somehow make him part of the landscape; as if he belonged.
And you certainly delivered.
He hears the screen door open, his back still to the house. You are standing behind him, your arms crossed stiffly over your chest, your face tilted down, to avoid his gaze. He could see the red-rimmed and swollen eyes of yours, despite your efforts to hide them.
“I can’t do this-”
“Please,” his whole face contorts in agony, “please, hear me-” you both speak at the same time.
“-tonight.”
“What?” his voice matching the look of confusion on his face.
“Maybe another time, but not tonight.”
“I-” he doesn’t know how to articulate his thoughts without sounding like an idiot. He drove all this way, four hours straight, to finally get things straight. His brain has short-circuited, unable to put a plan into action. Should he check into a hotel or a motel or whatever the fuck is around here in the middle of nowhere? Should he go back to his place? Do you really want to talk again? You sort of said you did. You said maybe. Fuck. What does he do?
But honestly, what did he expect? That this would be over in the course of one evening? Of course he would have to come back. His eyes are fixed on yours like a deer caught in the headlights. “I came all this way-” he mumbles, choking on the last part, already regretting the words that came out of his mouth.
“Well, too bad.” you spit emotionless as you turn and head for the safety of your house, leaving him stunned on the goddamn porch.
Joel returned the next evening, but you weren't there. He made the four hour journey and came back empty-handed. And you weren't there the next evening, or the evening after that. But he kept on driving the miles, hot wheels under the Texas sun. He didn’t check in anywhere near your small town. He went back home and then back to you again.
The last time he found nothing but a closed door, he finally got the message, so the next time he left the house, before he turned on the ignition, he texted you, as a sign of respect for your boundaries.
Is it all right if I come and see you?
Backspacebackspacebackspace
Is it OK if I come and talk?
And the answer was
Not today.
So, every day he texted you. He didn’t mean to be intrusive, he just wanted to remind you that you were never far from his thoughts, that he was always ready and eager to finish what he started.
You denied him for quite some time. You couldn’t bring yourself to face him again. The confessions he made have knocked you off your axis. Just when you finally felt like everything was falling into place, he dropped this bombshell, making you rethink everything you thought you knew and had sorted out in your mind. You just couldn’t wrap your head around what you’d heard coming out of his mouth. How could he think like that? Why couldn’t he just talk to you? You used to talk about everything; what the fuck happened? How did you not see that coming?
You were sure that he would give up, that he would stop bothering to contact you at all. Was it the monster of self-deprecation? Was it a deep disappointment in human beings and their general lack of persistence in trying to nurture and repair a relationship, or at least trying to give it a proper closure? You didn’t give it much thought afraid of the answer you might get. But you kept saying Not today, until one day, for some reason-
Can we talk?
Yes.
Joel’s heart is beating through his chest so rapidly, he has to cough to regain some of his composure. He almost drops his phone, trying to confirm the most convenient time for you before you change your mind.
That was the first Yes after the day you saw him again. You weren’t sure what you wanted to talk about; if you could pick up exactly where you left off. You weren’t even sure you could look him in the eye again, but you had to see this through.
When you hear the sound of his engine and tires on the dirt road, you take a deep breath and walk out of the house to wait for him on the porch.
“Come on in, I’m cooking dinner.” you announce as you open the screen door for him to enter the house.
“Are you sure?”, Joel is taken aback, he thought the inside of your house was strictly off-limits to him. You were also cooking dinner as if he was an old friend visiting you. He couldn’t help but wonder if he should lower his defenses or not but with the way you looked tonight you didn’t give him much of a choice.
You’re wearing a pair of warm cream jeans, paired with a white front tie shirt, the first few buttons left open, giving him a glimpse of your tanned sternum. It almost looks like a man’s shirt, just messily tied up over your soft skin, revealing bits of your stomach. Could it be another man’s shirt?
You are barefoot. The nails of your toes are painted in a fresh glossy black color. Your hair is casually tied up in a messy bun, loose strands falling around your beaming face. Joel has to restrain himself from pushing you against the wall and fucking you on the spot, by clenching and unclenching his fists. His mouth is salivating at the sight of you, excitement building in his groin. It's been so long since he's felt this way, a different kind of hunger is growing in him at a rapid pace, as if something buried deep inside his masculinity has just awakened from hibernation.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” you quirk back at him, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world, what you’re both doing. “I’m starving. Coming?” you leave him at the entrance and go back into the house.
“You have a beautiful home.”, Joel admits as he takes in his surroundings, thinking that this is going better than he expected. He also can't help but prepare himself for the fact that this might not end the same way.
“Thank you.” you laugh nervously.
“What?”, he catches the note of disbelief in your voice. “I'm serious, the light is just right, it’s open and warm; it actually reminds me of you.” he says matter-of-factly.
“No, no, I know you mean it, it’s just- I guess it’s high praise, coming from you.” you admit. You always admired what he did for a living and how good he was at it and him seeing your place for the first time gave you another reason to feel kind of nervous.
“Oh, come on, none of that now.” he dismisses the compliment, his voice wavering slightly at the praise.
“Well it’s true, you are excellent at what you do, I mean, the house you built is a work of art and that’s a fact.”
“Which one?”, although he knows exactly which one, he presses on.
“The one we used to live in, together.” You can’t call it your house. You cannot. The mere thought of it makes your tongue feel like it’s on fire.
“Oh.”, Joel smiles as he presses his lips together in a thin line, “You mean our house. It was built out of love, that's why. It's the one I'm most proud of.”
“Hm.”, is all you give him. Déjà vu brings back memories out of the closet -pun intended- for both of you.
“Ok, now you really have to tell me. What is it?”, Joel crosses his forearms over his chest. He has to know.
“What do you mean?”, you try to buy some more time, cause you’re not so sure you want to go in there.
“You had the exact same reaction when I mentioned that, four years ago.”
“Ah, that.”
“Yeah, that.”
“It’s just- it always felt like it reflected your personality rather than mine. Or at least ours.”
Joel looks at you perplexed.
“I’m not complaining, I mean, how many people can claim that their husband built them a house the size of a small hotel as a wedding present?” you chuckle while you continue as nonchalantly as you can muster, “I would have lived in a cave with you, Joel, you didn’t have to go to these lengths to house two people. If you want my honest opinion, this was an ego project. I let it slide because it made you happy. And I liked you happy.” Joel looks stunned, his eyes darting back and forth between yours.
“Baby, I- I wanted to make you happy, to give you the best I could-”
“Joel, I’m not judging you. I am not. But you didn’t show me a single blueprint while you were designing the damn thing. You didn’t ask me what I wanted or how I imagined it. Sure, you equipped it with all the best stuff money could buy, but you never asked me what I thought about it. Not really.”, you see the hurt in his eyes and it unsettles you, but now the rabbit is out of the hat. “Again, I’m not judging you and I’m not being ungrateful, all I’m saying is that for some reason you needed your shinny new wife to live in a shinny new castle. It was a prestige thing. Just think about it.”
“Jesus..” Joel mutters, pinching the sides of his forehead with one hand, feeling defeated.
“Hey,” you give him a wry look, “I tried to avoid answering that question for four years. You were the one who insisted.” you defend yourself, clearly amused by his reaction.
“What else do I need to know?”, Joel wonders in a desperate manner.
“Well.. for how long can you keep coming back?” you joke absentmindedly.
“For the rest of my life..” Joel answers a little too quickly, not a hint of playfulness in his voice.
Your heart tightens at his eagerness, forcing you to admit a consideration that you have had more than a few times before. “You know,” you look over at him, lost in thought, almost like reminiscing, “sometimes I wish I had met you before your company took off.” You snap out of your daydream and consciously look at him and he looks pained as if some kind of realization has hit him. You change the subject for the sake of both of you. “Anyway, speaking of which, how is work? I heard you closed that deal, after all.” you grin mischievously.
“Yeah, I did.”, his voice takes on a strange timbre, almost like regret. But you’re not so sure about anything these days, so you let it pass. He puts the envelope with the contract on the counter in the kitchen and sits down in the chair next to the table already set for dinner.
“Good, that’s good. Let me guess, you’re all over it? First in, last out? Is it almost done?” you word vomit to cover your nervousness.
“Uh,” Joel rubs the back of his neck, “I wouldn’t know.” is all he gives you, clearly trying to avoid getting involved in the discussion.
“Um, you don’t know?”, you laugh lightly in confusion. “How is that possible?”, you ask stirring the vegetables in the pan.
“I’m not involved in the project and I have no idea about the status of the construction;” Joel answers your question and continues, revealing, “I quit. Sold my shares and got out.”
“Yeah,” you draw the vowels, still not looking in his direction, “right. Big, mighty Joel Miller left his enterprise-” you laugh mockingly, but you are met with silence. “You’re joking, right?” You turn to look at him, not believing what you have just heard. You feel your blood freeze in your veins.
Joel shakes his head in denial, “I’ve actually left the city and the only reason I haven’t sold every asset in my name is in case you want to claim any of them. They’re all yours if you want ‘em.” Your mouth is slightly agape, as you try to process what has just been delivered to you.
You open your mouth to protest but he beats you to it, by raising his hand to stop you. “I know you don’t want anything from me, but that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want them either. Not without you. Just take them. Burn them for all I care, liquidate them and use the money as you see fit.”, Joel insists, trying to find ways to convince you.
“You can do that yourself, Joel.” is all you say; you don’t give a damn about his money. Joel nods and leaves it at that, he knows better than to talk about money right now.
You’re curious where he lives now, but you’re not sure it’s appropriate to ask, so you don’t. You prepare dinner and make small talk about simple things like your lives over the past four years. Joel asks you about the ranch, the horses, the chores; you ask him about Tommy and Maria, their newborn son, whom you haven't had a chance to meet yet. None of you dare to break the bubble of normality in which you have effortlessly found yourselves.
It feels like coming home after a long day, the way you both fall into a comfortable silence. Joel speaks your name softly, drawing your attention and your gaze back to him. “What are we doing here?”
“We’re eating?” Just a little longer, let me have it just a little longer.
“Yeah,” he chuckles, “no, I mean, what are we doing?” he gestures with his fingers between him and you.
You look at him and then at your plate, playing around with your food, lost in thought. How do you acknowledge that? How do you confess that you’re trying to stretch time? How do you admit that you’re scared out of your mind of how it's all going to end? How do you even come to terms with the fact that you’re not sure you want any of this to end? How do you accept how natural it feels to have him back in your life? How do you admit that after four years the pain has never stopped, but the force, the roughness of it has changed into something softer, yet persistent; never quite going away, lingering.
How do you admit that all the good memories are emerging, because that’s what the mind does, that’s how it protects you, that’s how it helps you survive another day, that’s how it tricks you into falling back into a comfortable routine with him. Even if what binds you together now is his betrayal. How do you admit that you’re afraid of what will become of you once you've finished confessing your truths?
Will he cease to exist for you? Will you cease to exist for him? Will he ever bother to contact you again? Do you really want him to? Will you matter to him or will he move on, start again and shake off the last vestiges of your life together?
Or maybe- maybe he has moved on with his life and that's why he's doing all this, putting all this effort into it. Maybe he is preparing a new, clear path for himself and whoever is in his life right now. Is it her? Is it still, her?
You’re spiraling, lost in your thoughts, biting your lower lip anxiously, like a snake eating its own tail. “Baby?” his baritone voice snaps you out of it, he must have called you several times before you heard him, suddenly aware of hot, fat tears streaming down your face, his thumbs gently brushing them from your cheeks.
You let out a shuddering breath; it’s the first time he’s touched you, in so, so long. And here he is again. The familiar, old friend. He’s pounding on your door now, relentless as he is, screaming for you to let him in, lead the way, take charge, take care of you. You can almost feel his maniacal banging, vibrating through your chest, let me in, let me in, let me in.
Let me in, better angry than scared.
Better angry than scared.
Your shoulders slump, your head feels unbearably heavy. The world has stopped moving. The world is moving too fast. You savor his features as he leans further in, his intoxicating scent filling your nostrils, his eyes pleading, the brown of his irises inviting you to let him in. Joel’s face is that of a man still in love as he continues to caress your skin and you let him.
You let him, because you are a weak person.
You let him because you have been deprived of his touch, of any touch really, for far too long.
You let him because you want to have something for yourself, selfishly.
You let him, because for once you just want to take. Take, take, take.
You let him because you just want to be held and touched and loved.
And even though your mind knows that you shouldn’t want all that from him, your heart allows you that little moment.
“Joel, I’m tired.” you begin, your voice breaking as fresh tears run down your face and onto his thumbs. “Tired to my bones. All I want is to be honest with each other. Do you think we can do that? Can we talk like two adults with nothing left to lose? Can we just be truthful to each other? I know there’s too much history between us, too much hurt and resentment but we both have to try and put it all behind us. I can’t go on like this.”
There’s a stillness in him, realization and clarity dawning on him. He thinks he understands now and it shocks him somehow, as a fact, that there are still things to uncover, to revel in, to acknowledge. Every time he thinks he’s reached the end of this journey, a new sun rises over the horizon.
You don’t need the specifics of his action, at least not right now, or not anymore. What you need is closure. True, honest closure. And that can only come from him baring himself to you. “Yeah, yeah, we can do that. We can do anything you want, baby.”, he squeezes his eyes shut, knowing where to begin, but resisting the thought. He leans back in his seat, dropping his hands from your face as he lets out the breath he seems to be holding in and begins.
“Remember that night before your business trip when you came to my office?”
“Uh, yeah? I guess.”, what a strange thing to mention, you think confused. “What about it?”
“You came to me for sex.”, Joel says bluntly, no need to beat around the bush. This is it. This is how he loses you. Once again.
You stare at him and then, for some reason, look down in embarrassment. You’ve fucked him in almost every way you can think of and now the very admission of that fact makes you feel like an exposed nerve. It dawns on you, how far away this era has slipped away. You feel vulnerable as if you’re talking to a total stranger about your most intimate moments. At the same time, you still know exactly how to touch him, how to please him and a light warmth begins to shimmer inside you.
“Well, that’s one way of putting it, but- yeah..”, you admit, still nervously picking at your food with your fork.
Joel sees your apprehension but he presses on. This is what you asked for. “And I refused you.” The look on your face betrays your confusion. Where is he going with this? Only now, he sees more. He can finally see more. The hurt. The disappointment. “What happened next?” is his next question and does he really think that you can remember all these years later? Does he honestly believe that you can recall yourself leaving his office defeated and crying yourself to sleep? “I don’t remember.” you lie, shrugging your shoulders as convincingly as you can muster.
“You said you loved me and then you left.”, Joel reminds you.
“You- you remember all that?”, your eyes are wide and the look on your face vulnerable, Joel wants to pause it all and hold you in his arms.
“I can’t seem to forget anything about you,” he reveals, “believe me, I’ve tried.”
“What’s your point?”
“Why did you do that?”
“Uh.. why did I do what?”, you narrow your eyes in confusion.
His eyes are piercing yours, provoking you to figure it out on your own.
“Loved you?” He shakes his head almost imperceptibly.
Your eyes widen again, in surprise this time, as you finally see what he means.
“Walked away?” You’re fucking shocked to the core, your voice choked, you’re not sure you spoke out loud.
“Why didn’t you insist?”
Your mouth is wide open, you’re speechless, you flatter your eyelids in search of the right words. This is your second encounter and once again he says what you least expect him to say.
“You refused” you remind him now, “and I respected that.”, your hand moves to rest on your chest, palm open, to calm your racing heart.
“I didn’t want you to.”
“You know how that sounds, don’t you?”, you mock with a nervous laugh.
“Oh, please,” Joel is quick to respond, his brows knitted in a dismissive frown, “like you could ever force yourself on me.”
You genuinely are at a loss for words, your gaze unable to stay in one place, your mind running a million miles an hour.
Apparently you both are, because Joel is no better at explaining how he feels. “I wanted you to-”, he stops, his eyes still searching yours for the right words, pleading with you to feel him.
Oh my god. Oh. My. God.
It dawns on you. All at once. You see it all playing out. You know exactly how this conversation is going to go. “-claim you? You wanted me to claim you?”, your voice rises, as does your tone. You feel the presence of your abandoned friend again. You don’t want him here. But he creeps in through your veins, nonetheless. He is not giving up. If the pounding doesn’t work then he’ll poison you, slowly and persistently.
“From who? You were supposed to be mine!”, you exclaim exasperated, immediately correcting yourself “-not that I owned you, you know what-”
“That! That’s what I’m talking about!” Joel points his finger at you, “That’s what I needed. To be yours!”
“But you were! Are we really haggling over semantics? Of course you were mine! I just never wanted you to feel suffocated by me. You were not my possession Joel, you were my partner!”
“I swear to you, I would die a happy man, baby.”
“I- I tried so hard to control myself-” you mutter to yourself, rolling your eyes back to your head as you shake it in denial, “-all that hunger inside of me, eating me up-”
“What?” is Joel’s turn to look like a lost puppy. What the fuck is going on here?
“You,” you point a finger at him, “you were my first and last thought every passing day, it wasn’t even healthy anymore, Joel. But- I saw that look in your eyes sometimes, a hunger, one I thought mirrored mine and then it was gone in the blink of an eye and I thought that something was holding you back; I- I was holding you back. I thought- maybe I was undeserving..” you divert your eyes from him, embarrassed at your feeling of inadequacy, “So, I accepted what you gave me if it meant I could have any part of you.”
“Oh, baby..” Joel’s hiding his face in his palms and his heart breaks as he realizes where you both stand. How did the two of you get to this point? How could his judgment be so clouded, how could he be so blind to what was happening under his own roof? How could he be so arrogant as to seek validation, one he didn't even need, from someone else? Someone whose validation he didn't even care about. It didn't matter to him. She didn’t matter to him. How could he not sense the insecurity tantalizing your very core to the point of feeling inadequate? If only you had told him sooner.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” you mirror his thoughts with your voice.
“What should I say to you? I couldn’t put it into words, even now I'm not sure I can. It was an all-consuming feeling, an absolute necessity, an overwhelming need that was impossible to handle. I wasn’t mentally or emotionally prepared to deal with it. I loved you with such force that it became an obsession. I couldn’t even entertain the idea that you might not want me back in the same way. I felt helpless, vulnerable. How could I come to terms with this? With the realization that I had fucked someone else just to get a rise out of you or to prove to myself that I didn't need you that much after all?”
Joel’s palms are clenched into fists on his thighs, trying to keep himself from pressing his lips against yours. Feelings and desires that had been buried in his subconscious for too long came back as he tried to make you understand.
“A r- so, you did fuck her on our bed on purpose.”
“You asked me that before, darlin’, I promise you I did not.”
“Then how would you provoke me if you didn’t mean for me to find out?” you look at him incredulously.
“I-” Joel winces, “it wasn’t a conscious thought, I just kept fantasizing about you finding out and burning the house down for me and that single image made me so h-” Joel shuts his mouth abruptly, not the best idea to describe to you how fuckin’ hard he got, fantasizing about you while fucking someone else. You, bursting into the bedroom all raging and furious, turning the whole place upside down reclaiming what was rightfully yours.
Him.
What a sick fuck he was. “I swear to you, no. I’m not that fucked up. It was a gigantic lack of judgment, I was fuckin’ drunk, my mind was a mess at that point. That whole week was-” he’s biting his tongue hard to stop himself while rubbing his forehead with his fingers, “I was just being an idiot.”
“The week I was gone?”
“Yes.”
“What about it?”
“Nothing, ‘snothing.” and he doesn’t elaborate. “Just a bad fuckin’ week.”
The atmosphere suddenly feels suffocating, as if all the words that have spilled out of both your mouths are hovering over your heads like a black cloud. You need some air to clear your mind, so you make your way out of the kitchen without looking back and walk slowly to the porch, sitting on the steps at the bottom of the stairs. You know he will follow. Your bare feet touch the soft soil beneath you and you try to ground yourself through the little patch of earth you call your own. It doesn’t quite work. There’s a beautiful golden glow, a last gift from the parting sun, warming your soul. Everything is going to be all right.
“Strange fantasies we both had.” you say as Joel seats down next to you, the contract once again a barrier between you. “You kept fantasizing about me finding out about your affair-”.
“It wasn’t an affair-” Joel corrects you.
“Fine, fine. You imagined that, while I kept fantasizing me holding you so tightly while we fucked that our flesh became one; that’s how deep I needed you inside me, that’s how obsessively I wanted to carry you with me all the time, isn’t that totally fucked up?” you laugh dejectedly.
“I guess we are the same kind of fucked up. If only we could admit it to each other..”
“Did you really feel that I didn’t love you enough?” you whisper, almost too scared to be heard and to get an answer.
“I think we loved each other too much. I think we were both too afraid of losing each other. I think,” Joel pauses for a moment to gather his thoughts and calm his voice, “in our efforts to keep each other we did the exact opposite. More me than you, for sure. I have handled things badly and badly is an understatement.”
“You were always so patient with me. You’d always wait for me to come to you, to take my time. I needed the savage in you, or I thought I did at the time. That desperate thing I felt creeping out of you in stolen glances or bitten lips between your teeth, or when we fucked; no one has ever fucked me like you did. I did see all of you then, you know. And I think you saw all of me. If I made you feel confident or safe enough, you would have talked to me. And if I wasn’t so self-absorbed I would have asked.”
You never thought you’d hear these words from Joel, but all this time of self-reflection has changed him in a way that reminds you of the Joel you fell in love with. The one you could see behind all those layers of self-protection, the one you’d always hoped would emerge for you. And then he goes on, and you wish you knew what was coming so you could protect your heart from being torn to shreds.
“Maybe-” he closes his eyes looking pained, “maybe I was a narcissist. Maybe you gave me all you had and I kept wanting more, maybe I needed every part of you for myself. Maybe I needed you on your knees, on a leash, at my mercy, just to have the illusion of the certainty that you would never leave me. Maybe freedom is for those who can bear it, after all. Hell, maybe I was the one who needed the leash in the end. Maybe you gave me too much credit, my love, when you deemed me worthy of freedom.”
His words are earth-shuttering, obliterating, final. There’s nothing left to be said, at least nothing of substance. Final. The fucking word plays over and over in your head. Final. This is final. You could swear that you have felt every possible kind of pain during these four long years but new depths of agony are being discovered right now. The acid in your stomach makes your throat constrict. You feel petrified.
Joel can sense your distress, his words have been of no comfort to you. Your skin looks pale, covered with a thin layer of cold sweat; you look physically ill. Your forearms rest on your knees and he gently cups your elbow to check in on you. Are you OK? You smile weakly at him, the expression not reaching the corners of your eyes.
“You know I would give anything to take it all back, right?”
Your laughter is more lively now, not with malice or sarcasm, but with a sense of humor.
“Yeah, yeah, I think I do.”, you shake your head in twisted amusement, tilting your head up, to let the last rays of the sun warm your face, maybe bring back some of your lost color. It's getting dark now, the day is coming to an end, the curtains of the last sunlight are almost closed. Your eyes are closed too, your head still tilted back as you laugh to yourself, “You did that backwards, too, you know.”
“What?”
“You have burned everything to the ground, only to realize that you want to get it all back in one piece. I mean it’s- it’s-” you struggle to find the right words but Joel offers one of his own.
“Ridiculous..”
“I was gonna say pointless.. But that’s the thing, Joel. Choosing to be with someone is like faith. You believe because you just know. You don't have to find evidence to prove your choice at every turn, otherwise it’s just exhausting. You choose to trust yourself.”
“Trust me as your partner, you mean, not yourself.”
“Joel, it was never about trusting you..”
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand..”
“I’m not sure how to explain it- uh..”, you raise your shoulders and your brows in unison as you shake your head slightly, searching for the words. “Trust is a personal journey. ‘Trust’ doesn't mean ‘trust in you’, I’m not trusting you. No one can be sure of anyone. ‘Trust’ means that I have faith in myself, that even if you hurt me, even if you abandon me, I will not fall apart. And..” you shrug your shoulders, hugging yourself with your hands, “look at me, Joel..”, you finish, suggesting that you’re still here, still standing.
“I am, baby; I am..” Joel replies, taking in the sight of you as if it were the last time he’ll ever have the chance to, utterly compelled by your inner glow.
“I’m not mad at you Joel, not anymore. And I believe you, I really do. But I can’t get that scene out of my head. I just can’t. I can still hear the sounds, I can even recall the way you smelled when you were standing next to me.”
His hands are shaking.
“I’m not trying to hurt you, really.”
“I know.”, his voice is barely audible.
“I think you’ve done enough of that yourself. Maybe it’s time to forgive yourself?”
“Do you?” Do you, really? Do you forgive him after all that has been said? Do all these confessions illuminate the facts from a different perspective? Does it change what he did and what you went through? And if so, does that mean you're letting him go? Are you leaving him behind? Is he leaving you behind? Why is it so hard to let go? Why do you choose the safety of the known, even when it hurts you?
You choose not to answer and instead firmly insist, “You have to forgive yourself, Joel, it’s okay.” Be the better person. If not for him, then for yourself. Let him go.
“I can’t do that.”, Joel is adamant, shaking his head while he rejects your request.
“Yes, you can.” you urge him again. “As I can and do.” Let him go.
Joel never thought he would listen to those words coming out of your mouth. He doesn’t deserve them. He hasn’t earned them. “You forgive me?”, he repeats in utter shock and disbelief.
“Yes.” Loud and clear as daylight.
“I- You can’t- I don’t- I don’t deserve that.” Joel feels like he’s drowning in your so graciously offered Holy Grail, desperately trying to keep his head above the waters of your absolution.
“I can’t be the judge of that, Joel, hell, I can’t be the judge of anyone. The way I see it, you chose your actions and I chose mine. You chose to hurt me and I chose to walk away. We both lost something. Have we not suffered enough, Joel?” you ask him honestly.
“I don’t want to presume, but- isn’t it a great burden to carry on your shoulders when you try to move on? All this anger, all that bitterness?” you search his eyes for an answer but he doesn’t give you one.
You continue, hoping to get through to him. “Your feelings are your burden Joel and it doesn’t matter if I forgive you. That’s why it is you who needs to forgive yourself.”
His eyes still refuse to meet yours, stubbornly glued to the ground. “I’m not doing this for you, I’m doing this for me. We need to move forward, both of us.” is the last thing you say to him, not knowing if he even listened to half of what you just said.
You both fall into a thoughtful silence, but something you said is bugging him. He can’t quite figure it out, so he turns to look at you, to savor you while he still has the chance. He knows that his time is limited.
You’re just sitting there with him, trying to comfort him, you of all people. You seem lighter now, fidgeting absentmindedly with your fingers as if some of your burden has already been lifted. And as his gaze sweeps over you, he sees it again. He sees the white shirt hugging your body and he knows what’s troubling him.
I don’t want to presume, I don’t want to presume, I don’t want to presume.
His heart beats rapidly in his chest, panic rising inside him.
“I’ve been with you for the last four years.”
“Excuse me?” your hands freeze as you turn to face him, clearly confused.
“You said you didn’t want to presume anything and I need to set the record straight. There was and is no other woman in my life except you.”
“Joel,” you blush shyly, “this is none of my business, you are free-”
“No. No. I need you to know this, it’s important to me. I meant everything I said. You have done nothing wrong. My feelings for you have never changed-”
“Joel, please..” you beg him to stop, you can’t have this conversation now, it’s too soon. No, you’re wrong. It’s too late; too soon means there’s a future ahead of you. A future where you both fit in the same universe.
“I don’t want you to think that I came all the way out here just to tie up some loose ends and move on. That is not what this is about.”
“If you expect me to tell you about my personal life..” your what now?
“No, I don’t. And I don’t think I could handle it, anyway. You are a free woman and you deserve the world. Unlike me; I don’t deserve anything and I’ll never be free of you.”
Your chin is now trembling and you bite your lower lip to stop the involuntary muscle contraction. You can’t decipher if it’s from anger for the way things came to be or from deep, excruciating sadness for how Joel feels. For how he makes you feel.
“Free woman, huh?”, you whisper bitterly, looking down at your feet, willing yourself not to cry.
“Yes, free, as you should always have been and I’m sorry I couldn’t see it sooner.”
Joel then picks up the divorce papers from the floor next to him as he’s fishing a pen out of his pocket. He stares at you and then at the blank space where his signature should be, next to yours. He splays his palm over the last page as if to straighten it out, but it almost looks like he’s caressing it. He brings the ball of the pen to the white surface and for a moment his hand lingers over it. He doesn’t dare look at you again, his resolve is not that strong. Finally, finally he signs, filling the empty spot and he hands you the contract. It’s a strange moment, the one before the signature and the one after it.
Everything seems to be the same; it is just a signature.
Everything feels completely different; it is not just a signature.
Your fingertips brush his as you reach out to take it, the touch sending shivers down your spine. Your slightly trembling hands hold the papers gently, not sure you wanna hold on to them or scatter them on the ground. Your thumb swipes softly over his signature.
You feel it, now. You feel the ground beneath your bare feet, the warmth of the earth, the weight of your footing. The falling has stopped. The feather finally rests. You have landed.
Joel moves to stand on his feet, as you keep staring at the drying ink, when you feel something fall from above onto your thumb; but you can’t see anything as it is immediately absorbed by the hungry pores of the paper, slightly smudging his signature. You look up to catch him as he dries his eyes with his thumb and forefinger.
“Free as a bird, baby, ready to fly over the world.”, Joel smiles at you with a look of reverence and devotion in his eyes.
You picture the floating feather in your head and smile back at him with a serenity he hasn’t seen in a long time.
“I think I just want to walk for a while. One step at a time.”
He nods, his eyes still full of emotion and you watch as he begins to walk slowly towards his truck, when suddenly he turns his body to face you but continues to walk backward in the same direction.
“Hey!” he calls to you with a mischievous smile, raising his chin to you.
“Yeah?” you answer, your voice wavering slightly as you try to hide your smile.
“Can I take you to dinner sometime?” he asks as he reaches for his driver’s door and opens it, waiting for your answer, which never comes because you think he’s joking. But he continues to stare at you, with no expectations, quietly, earnestly, sincerely, with a soft, shy smile on his lips. Oh.
Oh.
“Joel..” is all you breathe out, closing your eyes for a moment before you look at him again, because his name is all that is left in your very being right now. Joel.
He seems lighter, too.
“Maybe, one day..?”
“Yeah.. Maybe, one day..”
previous |
Taglist: @southernbe, @orcasoul, @auteurdelabre @leggtostandon @sarahhxx03
@zliteraturehoe @msmorningstaarr @gossipgirl-03 @vabeachazn @joeldjarin
@sofiparallel
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal imagine#pedro pascal fandom#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller imagine#joel miller fic#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#fanfic#joel miller#joel miller angst#infidelity joel miller#joel miller au#joel miller tlou#joel miller the last of us#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x you#the last of us fanfiction#the last of us hbo#hbo the last of us#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x original character#joel miller x oc#joel smut#joel x reader#joel the last of us#joel x you#joel x oc#angst fic#cheater joel miller
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red bull gives you wings! (social media au) - dr3
masterlist
Summary: The one where red bull brings together people, again.
Pairing: daniel ricciardo x reader (model used: hande baladın)
Warnings: none other than some cursing, internet being the internet
Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms.
ynyln posted a story!
ynyln
Liked by tarkanofficial, redbulltr, edaerdem14 and 384,927 others
ynyln: çok çok love 🥹❤️🏐 thank you, VNL! see you in tokyo!✌️
powervolleyballofficial: golden girls 😍🇹🇷🏆🏐
user: release the naim video!! now!! we need it!!
zehragns18: 🥹🥹🥹
view all 7,367 comments
bednii: 👏🏼😉
user: she needs to work on her passes more she is very weak
user: are you the one playing in the national team?
user: if i'm the one noticing the mistake then there is a problem
redbulltr: we knew you could do it!👊❤️
volleyballinsider
Liked by kpvolley, yukitsunoda0511, eczacibasisporklubu and 537,928 others
volleyballinsider: going from being one of the most criticised players on the turkish national team to one of the most valuable players, Y/N Y/LN proves that dedication and hard-work are the key elements of success. congratulations to Y/LN and the rest of the turkish team for their recent win in the european championship!
user: yet another propaganda to make us think that women are better than man at sports
user: i don't think we need a propaganda for that, dude
user: i don't mean to be annoying, but what's yuki tsunoda doing here??😳😳
user: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
user: he liked the post-
user: congratulations to the sultans of the net, they are having a golden summer!
view all 7,452 comments
ynyln
Liked by abreusmelissavargas, yukitsunoda0511, danielricciardo and 786,928 others
ynyln: not sponsored🙃✌️
user: she knows how to party!!🤩
user: i hope red bull knows they have a walking, talking breathing ad😭
user: she's a red bull athlete, what did you expect her to do?
user: first yuki, now daniel?👀
user: she was in australia last year, do you think they met there?
user: i mean.. that's reaching, australia is quite big
user: drop the hair care routine queen🙏
ynyln: the tears of my enemies as conditioner💅
view all 12,736 comments
danielricciardo: nice hat
ynyln: howdy
danielricciardo posted a story!
ynyln posted a story!
ynyln
Liked by redbulltr, tvfgovtr, danielricciardo and 873,647 others
ynyln: paris, ça va?✌️
redbulltr: saint joseph online🫡
user: ma'am you are a MONSTER (respectfully)
user: the hero without a cape is still a hero, wonderful match today!
user: haters will say she is weak, and then she will spike on em
view all 123,625 comments
user: f1 fans are confused and i feel so sorry for them
user: yeah we're confused because how did daniel bag HER
ynyln: with a lot of tim tams👀
danielricciardo: don't give away all my secrets🙃
danielricciardo
Liked by ynyln, pierregasly, f1wags and 973,425 others
danielricciardo: a different kind of a grandstand this time, congratulations pookie
ynyln: now you're just making up words
danielricciardo: where is my date?
ynyln: let me shower first, god
ynyln: also, yuki is still here
yukitsunoda0511: yes i am✌️
user: THEY ADOPTED YUKI😭
user: this man... hard launched... on the main.. just like that..
user: i don't know if i want to be her or i want to be him🙃
view all 5,625 comments
user: STOP i love them so much already
danielricciardo
Liked by landonorris, redbullracing, ynyln and 973,425 others
danielricciardo: post-summer summer dump
pierregasly: good dump
ynyln: ew, pierre
danielricciardo: she's right ew, pierre
yukitsunoda0511: ew
user: this is my bi awakening
user: are we not going to talk about the bucket hats?
user: are we not going to talk about the fact that they've adopted yuki?😭
user: so normal about this, absolutely so so normal about this
landonorris: how does she feel about papayas?
user: OMG STOP
view all 5,367 comments
ynyln: dude, are you obsessed with me or something?
danielricciardo: or something
ynyln: stop making me blush danny
redbullracing: tell yn hi from us!✌️
redbulltr: back off, chief
danielricciardo: 😳
ynyln: 🤩✌️
ynyln
Liked by ilkinaydin, simgeakoz, danielricciardo and 683,728 others
ynyln: collecting miles and smiles🙂
p.s. these photos are ollllllld
user: i'm so confused but so obsessed a the same time😩😫
user: but did she teach him how to spike??👀
francisca.cgomes: please come back to paris😭 i miss you😭
ynyln: they way i would jump on a plane RIGHT NOW
pierregasly: i'm right here
ynyln: sucks to be you🙃
user: MS STEAL YOUR GIRL
user: yikes overtook by y/ln
ebrarkarakurt18: aşkım what happened to hot girl summer??
danielricciardo: oops
danielricciardo: who's the guy? he looks good
ynyln: a kangaroo
ynyln: he jumps sometimes
view all 3,746 commenst
user: who is your favourite f1 driver?😉
ynyln: sebastian vettel!☝️
danielricciardo: COME ON
4141spor posted a story!
ynyln
Liked by zehragns18, kpvolley, redbulltr and 683,728 others
ynyln: in between training sessions, thank you @redbulltr for stopping by! @eczacibasisporklubu
redbulltr: see you next time, partner!✌️
user: girl what are those nails??
ynyln: new strategy!!
simgeakoz: ready for another season with my girls👊
user: she's a redbull athlete??
user: you bet your ass she is
user: red bull is the best matcmaker fr
view all 15,362 comments
yukitsunoda0511: 🤟
ynyln: yukinooo
ynyln: 🫶
danielricciardo:🥺
user: i really don't understand how the aussie man bagged her
landonorris: you and me both
danielricciardo: red bull gives you wings!
ynyln: it does!
#monzabee#formula 1 x reader#paddock#social media au#f1 social media au#f1 fanfic#f1 fanfiction#f1 x reader#lance stroll#daniel ricciardo x reader#daniel ricciardo imagine#formula one x reader#daniel ricciardo social media au
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happier / joão félix
request: scrolled thru your feed and I think I fell in love with joão! although the people that keep clowning him bc of his gf's antics 😭 can I pls request him moving on to someone who wouldn't do him like this? socmed au with a beauty queen or a well-loved nepo baby? tysm 💗
author's note: i had this in the drafts bc i just couldn't get it right for some reason 😭 hope you like it!! sorry for the badly traslated portuguese 😂
summary: after a very public breakup with his ex, fans are worried that you're gonna be the next one that breaks joão's heart. except, he looks happier now, and you're the reason.
face claim: maude apatow 💌
name_apatow
Liked by yourbff, joaofelix79 and others.
name_apatow appreciation post for the weather
View all comments.
joaofelix79 and the man?
name_apatow not bad i guess 🙈
user1 joão what are you doing here 🤨
joaofelix79
Liked by name_apatow, enzojfernandez and others.
joaofelix79 recharging 🔋
View all comments.
name_apatow you really went and posted the worst picture didn't you
joaofelix79 tu tas linda como sempre (you look as beautiful as ever)
user2 whoa you're so pretty 😭
user3 tell me this isn't his ex again
user4 she isn't posting anything on her insta so it must be someone else 👀
user5 he moved on? finally
joaofelix79
Liked by masonmount, name_apatow and others.
joaofelix79 date night ❤️
View all comments.
masonmount enjoy mate! 👍🏻
♥️ liked by joaofelix79, name_apatow.
name_apatow acting like you didn't eat all my pizza 👍🏻
user1 wait is this who he's with?
user2 what is the daughter of that one famous dude doing in joao's comments 🤨
joaofelix79
Liked by name_apatow, irisapatow and others.
joaofelix79 feliz aniversário linda. todos os dias, meu maior presente é tu. hoje é minha vez de te mimar 🤍🙏🏻 (happy birthday beautiful. every day, you're my greatest gift. today it's my turn to spoil you 🤍🙏🏻)
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user1 oh they're cute :(
name_apatow you're the best thing that happened to me 🥹 i don't deserve you
♥️ liked by joaofelix79
user2 she's soooo pretty, joão can you fight?
irisapatow my favourite one is the last one
name_apatow thanks, sis 👍🏻
user3 how does he keep getting these girlies 😂 he's not that cute
name_apatow
Liked by joaofelix79, masonmount and others.
name_apatow went to see someone special today 🤍🫶🏻
View all comments.
masonmount nice meeting you!!
♥️ liked by name_apatow.
user1 she supports him as much as he supports her :( they're so cute please
enzojfernandez con razón se estaba haciendo el lindo 😂 joaofelix79 (now i get why he was showing off 😂)
#football imagine#football instagram au#football social media au#football x you#football x reader#joao felix x reader#joao felix x you#joao felix imagine#joao felix instagram au
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feels like | cl16
a/n: first smau ever and first thing overall released in months... be easy on me 🙏 as always don't be a ghostreader!
faceclaim: gracie abrams
yourusername ✔️
liked by arthur_leclerc, francisca.cgomes, and 829,294 others
yourusername feels like ft. charles leclerc out everywhere now
tagged: charles_leclerc
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charles_leclerc a pleasure ❤️
yourusername likewise ☺️
heartbeatfastferrari my faves collabing and interacting on socials i can'tttt
yngoodriddance FT. WHO???
ynupdates queen comes back after 293299 years of silence to collab with... a formula one driver?? what on earth 😭
leclercshands guys... do we think...
ynwifey DO WE THINK WHAT
norafthatch headphones aren't enough i need to eat the song
lizzymcalpine on repeat
liked by yourusername
charles_leclerc ✔️
liked by pierregasly, yourusername, and 902,193 others
charles_leclerc composed and co-written by me, sung and co-written by y/n y/l/n. feels like out now
tagged: yourusername
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yourusername again sometime?
charles_leclerc you know it 😉
pierregasly nice back mate
pierregasly i mean song
yourusername 🤨
francisca.cgomes 🤨
forzaaaferrari he rly went and got a huge popstar to collab w/ him shut up
yndaily HE WROTE LYRICS TOO?? OMG
leclercshands the love sign had to be intentional.
ynqueeen it's regular home decoration i bet it's always there let's not jump to conclusions
everfolkmore our boy's an artist 😭
lewwdc the bandana 🥹
yourusername ✔️
liked by charles_leclerc and 882,202 others
yourusername amore
view all 9,913 comments
thescuderias guys charles liked NOT A DRILL
ynlovey girl chill... they worked together they must be friends so him liking isn't outlandish
ynlovey can this man fight is my question
girlys_ynln that literally LOOKS like charles
charlielec guys just because they wrote a song together doesn't mean they're suddenly together lmao
switiesforyn come back home the kids miss you
wagsf1
3,294 likes
wagsf1 new wag alert? 👀 from arthur's story today, removed within a minute!!
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yourusername and charles_leclerc
liked by scuderiaferrari, pierregasly, and 982,293 others
yourusername thanks arthur
view all 481,917 comments
arthur_leclerc you're welcome :)
scuderiaferrari have any spare concert tickets, y/n? in exchange for paddock passes ofc 👀
yourusername hmu babe
charlesss16 i 😭 am 😭 so happy 😭 for them 😭😭😭
mia_sainz MY TWO WORLDS
f1.brocedes parents
yngirlfriend are we not gonna mention the last pic???????
leclercshands I TOLD Y'ALL 😐
#cl16#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc fanfic#f1#f1 fanfic#charles leclerc social media au#f1 social media au#social media au#f1 x reader#f1 smau#charles leclerc smau
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it's a part of the loooong message sent to me by @rougegenshin with the ideas for Reader x Buck x Bucky 👀 I chose this one out of a few she sent me (thank you so much, sweetheart! 💘). I'm usually not into poly but I have a tiiiiiny experience with writing for relationships like that so I promised to give it a try 😏 it's not a full smut because I chickened out in the end 🤣
🔞 THIS FIC IS 18+ 🔞
Gale didn’t like to dance. You were sitting with his arm around you and watched Bucky dancing with a friend you had brought for him to meet. He was with her but his eyes lingered on you all the time.
You didn’t know why you felt this way. You loved Gale Cleven, you would die for him, in fact. And your whole life you had been thinking you were a one man’s woman. But now, when you were in an actual relationship with a man of every woman’s dreams… You were jealous to watch his best friend dancing with another woman.
Bucky was into you, it was obvious. In a way he would always stare at you with puppy eyes, tease you with his comments that were making Gale roll his eyes. There were also things that he was doing that your boyfriend did not know about – the way Bucky would stare at your chest and bite his lip, the way he would touch your hand in the dark sometimes and you allowed him. Last few months – throughout your whole relationship with Gale Cleven – Bucky’s attention was focused on you. And now he was dancing with another woman and he might have been staring at you but you hated that his hands were on her hips and that it was her being so close to him.
“Everything alright?” Gale’s deep voice made you blink a few times and look at his face. God, he was so perfect. Why couldn’t you just be loyal like other women were?
Was it possible that you were one of the harlots? All your life you had been thinking you were a good girl; nothing special, born to become some nice man’s housewife. And now you felt like a jezebel.
You cupped Gale’s face, driven by guilt.
“I’m just worried about him. He’s leaving tomorrow,” you confessed in a whisper and Gale shook his head with a chuckle. “He’s your best friend and mine, too, now. He’s everywhere we go. You can’t expect me not to care about him.”
“I’m glad that you care about him,” Gale held your wrist and caressed it before placing a soft kiss upon it. He was so innocent, he had no idea about the nature of your feelings towards his friend.
“I just wanted to explain… I know that some men would be jealous,” you took a breath deep in.
“I’m not jealous,” he assured you but he looked deep into your eyes in a way that made a knot form in your stomach.
He didn’t look angry but there was some suspicion and curiosity in his beautiful blue eyes.
“Can I dance with your girl now?” Bucky interrupted you with a smile.
You were scared to dance with him in public. You were terrified of your body language revealing a little too much. Those things were not easy to control.
“In fact, we are leaving. It’s getting late and I have to walk my girl home,” Gale answered and you sighed with relief. “You have fun, Bucky, it’s your last night,” he stood up and you followed.
Your friend walked away to buy a drink so you were left alone with the two men.
“Are you going to stay at (Y/N)’s place for the night?” Bucky lowered his voice.
“Yes,” Gale answered with a nod.
“Can I join you later?” Bucky asked and your heart started to pound in your chest as you took Gale’s hand to squeeze it. “For the one last drink,” Bucky added.
“I don’t mind,” Gale told him and then he laid his eyes on you.
“Sure, Bucky, come by!” You smiled at him and he winked at you. “Throw a stone at my window so I know it’s you.”
“See you later then,” he patted Gale’s arm. “Don’t start without me,” he teased and you felt your cheeks heating up.
Gale only shook his head with an embarrassed chuckle and he walked you out of the bar to walk you to your place.
You were renting a room in an old house and your landlady only rented it to women. In fact, she didn’t want any male visitors at all – even by day. But she left the town for a week now because of her sister’s illness. Nearly all your flatmates were taking full advantage of this temporary situation.
You went upstairs and opened the door to your room quietly, letting Gale inside and then closing the door behind you. He took his cap off and put it on the armchair before sitting down on the couch and you put some jazz music on quietly and lit a few candles. With a soft smile you sat on your boyfriend’s lap and put your arms around his neck.
“I love you,” you assured him with a thought of Bucky still in the back of your head. You wanted to shake it off.
“I love you, too, angel,” he pulled you even closer and gave you an open mouth devouring kiss that made you breathless. You tugged on his golden hair and moaned into his mouth.
“Gale,” you giggled and he raised an eyebrow at you. “Don’t start anything now, we don’t know when Bucky might come,” you whispered.
“Do you think I don’t know how you’re looking at him?” He asked, suddenly and you froze as your heart pounded in your chest.
“Wh-what are you talking about?” You stuttered out. “Gale, I love you…”
“I know you do, sweetheart,” Gale nodded. “I haven’t said anything about it.”
“Then what do you mean?” You batted your eyelashes.
“I mean that I’m so close with John that I don’t mind sharing with him,” Gale’s face was serious and your jaw dropped at his words.
“I thought you were a conservative man, Gale Cleven,” you furrowed your brow.
“I thought that, too. But I see how he’s looking at you and I see how you’re looking at him. And all I want is for both of you to be happy,” Gale’s hands started to caress your thighs and arm with his fingertips, causing the shivers go down your spine. “You’re two people I love the most and I want nothing but your happiness.”
“And what about you?” You asked.
“Well, it’s not like you’re going to leave me for him, is it?” He chuckled but there was a hint of uncertainty in his voice.
“Oh, no! No, no, of course not!” You shook your head.
“Then your happiness won’t cost me my own,” Gale pointed out when a wild thought appeared in your mind.
“You love him, too, don’t you?” You bit on your lower lip. Gale blushed and looked around, uncomfortably avoiding your eyes. “Oh… Yes, you do,” you chuckled at him. “I don’t mind sharing you either… only if it’s with Bucky,” you assured him and caressed his cheek.
He looked up, surprised, but before he could answer, a stone hit your window softly.
You left Gale’s lap and took the key to leave your room and walk downstairs and let Bucky in.
“You’re quick,” you told him.
“I was impatient and your friend was a bore,” he shrugged his arms. You shushed him by putting a finger over your mouth and you led him upstairs.
When he walked inside your room, you locked the door behind him and put the key away. Gale was sitting on the couch with his legs spread open in a lazy manner, watching you two with a shadow of a smirk. He nodded at you and you took a deep breath in before grabbing Bucky’s face almost aggressively and joining your lips together. He was petrified out of shock at first and did not react but then he pulled you closer with a smile. His moustache tickled your upper lip and made you chuckle.
“What the hell…?” He breathed out when you broke the kiss. “Buck, you okay with that?” He turned around to look at his friend.
“It’s your last night, Major Egan. Enjoy,” Gale nodded.
“And what about you?”
“I will watch,” your boyfriend assured you but you felt bad for him. He deserved his fun, too. He was such a good man, willing to share you like that. So understanding…
“I can make you both happy,” you offered with a shy smile.
After a short moment of hesitation, they both agreed. You pushed Bucky to sit down on the couch next to Gale. Your heart was pounding as fast as never before when you realised what you were about to do. This night would never be undone, it would forever stay in your memory and it could possibly ruin everything between Gale and you – and between him and his best friend. But it could also make everything even better. And you didn’t want to regret not trying.
To the rhythm of a soft jazz song playing in the background, you began unbuttoning your dress as you stood in front of them. The movements of your fingers were slow, you let the fabric slide down your body at its own pace, revealing your bra, panties and stockings kept in place by a garter belt. You had planned tonight to be special for your boyfriend so you had made sure to doll yourself up earlier. You hadn’t expected tonight to take such a wild turn.
Your cheeks were hot to the touch but your boys’ faces were in a light shade of pink as well. Both a little shy and excited about the show you were giving them. Bucky’s mouth opened slightly and Gale was looking you up and down as if you were a snack on a plate placed in front of him.
Instead of immediately reaching up to your bra’s clasp to undo it, you allowed your hands to roam freely all around your body, caressing the curves that Gale loved to explore and kiss all over, hoping that Bucky would enjoy them, too.
“Come ‘ere, baby,” your boyfriend beckoned you over, his voice darker than usual. You walked up to him and sat astride him, letting his big, slim hands be the ones to undo the clasp of your bra.
You threw it away and Bucky gasped at the sight he had craved to see for the past few months. You gave Gale a big, loving kiss, before moving onto his friend’s lap and kissing him, too, as his hands grabbed both of your breasts to squeeze them. Bucky moaned into your mouth and you smiled.
“You’re gonna be the death of me, sweetheart,” he whispered when you broke the kiss. It turned you on how he was staring at you, like you were a piece of art, a goddess to worship.
“Better not,” you teased him, “because I need both of my Majors to come back to me.”
MASTERLIST || BUCK MASTERLIST
#*buck#*bucky#lilysfiction#gale cleven x reader#john egan x reader#austin butler x reader#callum turner x reader#sansaorgana: Answered#rougegenshin
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dr3 | deep blue but you painted me golden
part one — i polish up real nice
[ series masterlist ] part 2 | part 3 | part 4
pairings: daniel ricciardo x f!leclerc!rbr driver!reader, lestappen
summary: [ social media au ] y/n joins red bull and stirs shit up! ft. lestappen's oblivious flirting and danny's impeccable pr training
warnings: language
faceclaim: barbara palvin + random faceless checo pics
author’s note: i first came up with the last post of this series (stay tuned!) and it kind of snowballed into whatever this is 😂 i played fast and loose with the timeline. suspend your disbelief. anyways, enjoy!
Daniel Ricciardo Talks About Red Bull and What Comes Next — The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
liked by charles_leclerc, redbullracing, pierregasly and 459,157 others
yourusername looking forward to racing with an undying commitment to winning 👊 thank you so much @.redbullracing for the opportunity to join the fastest team in the paddock
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charles_leclerc super fier de toi 💙 mais ferrari est toujours la meilleure [ super proud of you but ferrari is still the best ]
↪ yourusername si ça te chante 🙄 🥰 [ whatever floats your boat ]
user not the caption 😭😭
↪ user she definitely saw the interview 😭😭
↪ user christian did say that rbr thought it was "right" to bring daniel back to the team 👀 which team and in which capacity though... 🤔
↪ user praying y/n isn't the next victim of the red bull second seat curse 🔮🧘🙏🕯
user y/n didn't hesitate at ALL with the speed comment huh 💀
↪ user i mean she's not wrong, red bull are currently the fastest and if they keep their momentum they'll completely dominate this season
liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername, danielricciardo and 519,238 others
tagged: maxverstappen1, yourusername
redbullracing Pre-Season Testing sees us go fastest as Max and Y/n record fantastic numbers 💪
user holy shit we all know that y/n is a rookie but can we just appreciate her pace during testing??? that's insane for anyone, let alone a driver who's still getting used to the car
↪ user i've been saying it for months y/n could 100% be the next big thing for f1
↪ user can't wait to watch an actual race 🤩
liked by yourusername
user hear me out, rbr 1-2 in bahrain 👀
↪ redbullracing what dreams are made of! 🙌
user y/n proving all the haters wrong we love to see it!
liked by yourusername
↪ user danny would still do better though 😤
↪ user well he's not the one in the cockpit so wouldn't it make more sense to just support y/n as well?
liked by redbullracing, charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 1,258,976 others
yourusername never in my wildest dreams did i think this day would come. getting my first podium in my first formula 1 race is absolutely insane to think about. i don't have words to describe the joy i feel.
thank you to @.redbullracing for giving me this chance, thank you to the fans for cheering me on, and most importantly, thank you to my family for supporting me in chasing my dreams ❤️
i promise i'll keep making you proud. p2, baby!
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charles_leclerc that's my baby sister 😍
↪ yourusername we were born a year and a half apart.
↪ charles_leclerc yeah well max and i are only 16 days apart and he still calls me a baby
↪ yourusername i— you know what, you're hopeless 💀
liked by maxverstappen1, pierregasly, arthur_leclerc
maxverstappen1 congratulations y/n 😁
liked by charles_leclerc
↪ yourusername thank you max!
danielricciardo 👏👏👏
liked by yourusername
likes and reblogs are appreciated!
masterlist
#solwriting#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#formula one x reader#formula 1#f1#daniel ricciardo#daniel ricciardo x reader#daniel ricciardo x you#daniel ricciardo fanfic#daniel ricciardo imagine#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 x you#f1 social media au#f1 imagine#f1 smau#lestappen#lestappen fanfic
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feather , part 16
“ floating through the memories ”
series m. list
previous chapter
next chapter
( socialmedia!au )
yourusername
liked by jamie.drysdale, jackhughes, adamfantilli, and 76,954 others
yourusername a lil photo dump from this month :)
view all comments
jamie.drysdale that pic of me on fort makes me look homeless
→ yourusername i mean u were the one that stole my guest room
_alexturcotte yoooo it’s a cat
→ yourusername yes booker has 2 🥰🥰
→ _alexturcotte yoooo it’s two cats
username36 the guys r trying so hard to be nice LMFAO
username23 okay but tbh the way he looks at her… 🥹🥹🥹
lhughes_06 damn i didn’t make it in the dump
→ yourusername you’ll make up half the pics in the story lu i promise
→ lhughes_06 you promise?
→ yourusername i’ve never broken a promise before 🙄
trevorzegras i thought we all collectively decided to forget about that pic of me and turcs
→ yourusername well i did not collectively decide that!
→ trevorzegras i’m collectively deciding for you
→ _quinnhughes so did we all forget what the definition of “collectively” is or???
→ jackhughes yes quinn we’ve all collectively forgotten
username1 our mini drysdale seems a lot happier and i’m here for it!!!
liked by yourusername
rutgermcgroarty i don’t think it’s safe to be taking pictures of yourself in the side mirrors while driving
→ yourusername i was parked. at the beach. you were there.
→ rutgermcgroarty see i’ve collectively decided to omit that from my memory so no i wasn’t there actually 😒
→ _quinnhughes that’s.. still not what collectively means rutger
edwards.73 will i ever make the photo dump 😕
→ yourusername ethan sweetie you were just in my last one
→ yourusername and i’m posting all our vacation pics on my story 😭😭
→ edwards.73 that’s not good enough
→ yourusername you never post me 🤨
→ edwards.73 OK THATS DIFFERENT THO
luca.fantilli i bet u suck at bowling
→ yourusername YOU’VE SEEN ME BOWL
→ luca.fantilli that’s been collectively forgotten
→ yourusername um WHAT????? I’M BETTER THAN YOU
→ luca.fantilli that’s also been collectively forgotten
→ yourusername oh but u admit to me being better, u just happened to collectively forget
→ _quinnhughes you’re all using collectively wrong just to spite me aren’t you
yourusername
liked by bookerburke_, adamfantilli, _alexturcotte, and 41,002 others
yourusername when he takes you to paint in a field of flowers 🥹🥹
tagged: bookerburke_
view all comments
bookerburke_ hope i’m living up to the expectations 😅
→ yourusername wdym?? ofc u are ☹️
→ bookerburke_ no i’m just saying tho, like you must have high expectations from all the guys you must’ve dated before yk
→ yourusername what i barely dated anyone, i told u this before already 😭
→ bookerburke_ yea but i doubt it lmao
→ yourusername i don’t think we should be doing this in my public comments
→ jamie.drysdale uh?? she’s only dated two other guys and they were a lot less of assholes than you
this comment thread has been deleted
username57 um… we all saw that thread right
→ username11 yes but let’s not talk about it
username63 yo those comments were so uncalled for??? what happened to the “good guy” or was it all just an act??
username44 wtf? the switch-up is crazy and bro CANNOT be talkin to lil drizz like that
username18 don’t tell me he started acting like a dick just cuz she started giving more attention to luke again
adamfantilli the stuffed animals yay
edwards.73 ooh painting 👀
trevorzegras the cowboy hats… are you turning texan
lhughes_06 nice hat
rutgermcgroarty show the finished painting don’t be scared!
colecaufield man where’s all the replies from our lil drizzy 🥲
_quinnhughes kid if this is your attempt at being aesthetic then you’re failing pretty bad
this post has been deleted
next chapter
notes )
first off i wanted to say THANK YOU FOR 200 FOLLOWERSSS!! i’m glad at least some of yall enjoy this series lmfaooo
and I KNOW I KNOW it was kind of a really quick and sudden shift but there’ll be more development (at least i see it as more development) later on
i also know you’re all thinking this is messy as shit but um.. it gets messier!
(edit: i changed the layout to make it easier to read LMAO)
tags: @aliaology @hockeyboysarehot @absolutelyhugh3s
#luke hughes#luke hughes fanfic#luke hughes fic#luke hughes x y/n#luke hughes x reader#jack hughes#quinn hughes#alex turcotte#cole caufield#trevor zegras#jamie drysdale#mark estapa#dylan duke#mackie samoskevich#ethan edwards#adam fantilli#luca fantilli#rutger mcgroarty
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social media au
y/n face claim; gracie abrams
yn
liked by taylorswift, samanthakerr20 and 214,984 others
yn cheeky 🍒's
view all 837 comments
ynlover hottie
iloveyn when are you releasing new music??
ynfan3 you're so gorgeous!
billieeilish 🧎♀️🧎♀️🧎♀️
ynfan8 ^ why is that us ??
ynfan12 drooling
mackenziearnold 👀 samanthakerr20
⤷ samanthakerr20 shutup
⤷ yn hello ladies 👋👋
ynbiggestfan wot is this ^??
vanityfair
liked by yn, samanthakerr20 and 52,095 others
vanityfair check out our new video featuring our favourite aussie y/n as she talks music, relationships and gives us an insight into what it was like growing up down under.
view all 314 comments
ynlover why is she so cute??!
user14 no, but like i knew she was australian but that accent threw me off a little not gonna lie.
yn thank you so much for having me !!
user27 been a fan since her first single. so happy that she's finally getting the recognition she deserves
iloveyn okay but the sly smile she gave as they asked if she had any sort of romance going on. i think our girl isn't as single as she claims to be
samanthakerr20 😨 i think i found my missing medal
⤷ yn you gave it to me you ass
user31 i love how as a kid she wanted to be a famous soccer player, girl really switched teams on that one.
ynlover
liked by 1,812
ynlover anyone know what this is about? and why have i been stalking samanthakerr20 for the past two hours since seeing these comments.
view all 39 comments
user12 why is it kinda cute?
ynfan13 they grew up together!! i think she mentioned it in one of her early interviews years back.
samkerr20fan they're friends. She's been at a couple of Sam's games over the years.
user82 they're both single 👀👀
user61 yn is 💅 ?? since when
samfan72 i swear sam was in a relationship a few months back??
ynfan57 i've been investigating both their pages and they've been pretty vocal on both sides - except for a period in 2020 where neither of them commented or liked anything of the other.
ynlover i feel like we need weekly catch-ups to discuss everything everyone has found in this new predicament.
yn
liked by samanthakerr20, calumhood and 310,287 others
yn recording album number 3, keen as a bean 🫛
view all 3,919 comments
yn poll; should we name the album cool beans?
ynfan12 holy hell!!! cannot wait
5sos 👀
user28 what is 5sos doing here??
iloveyn i love you
user98 ohmygosh yes yes yes
samanthakerr20 did you write any songs about me?
⤷ yn no xoxo
user11 ✍️ someone put this in the receipts ^
calumhood vote yes for cool beans
samkerrfanupdates
liked by 2,082 others
samkerrfanupdates sam with fans at last night's game.
view all 111 comments
samfan28 so jealous!!
user73 great game last night girls! can't wait for many more to come.
user25 that's me and my sister in that photo!! we asked her what he favourite album was right now and she said cool beans ?? we tried searching it up but i low key think she made it up. she was really nice tho!
samkerr20fan um... ynlover you're seeing what i'm seeing right?
⤷ ynlover 😨😨😨 why are they such girlfriends.
(can't do better by kim petras)
samanthakerr20
liked by yn, matildas and 401,286 others
samanthakerr20 i wonder how many songs this face has inspired?
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user23 so cheeky!
user80 hi sam!!
yn ohmy.
samfan39 im coming to your next game! can't wait to see you.
samkerr20fan so she's just not even denying it anymore?
user15 y'all really gonna forget that fans saw yn and samanthakerr20 kissing when chelsea won the FA women's cup a few months back against man city??
samkerr20fan im sorry??? wot
⤷ user15 yeah, they seemed cosy enough. yn was sitting with the partners of the other Chelsea teammates during the game so...
ynlover i've been summoned
yn
liked by samanthakerr20, matildas and 519,028 others
yn last night
view all 1,920 comments
user91 hiiiii
ynfan18 i was there last night you were amazing !!!!
ynfan66 so in love with you
iloveyn why is the matildas here ?? 🤨🤨
samanthakerr20 so proud of you!
⤷ yn mwahhh 😚
user8 i love you so much yn
yn
liked by samanthakerr20, matildas and 610,384 others
yn and to think I've been writing songs about you for years. happy two year anniversary my love 💗
comments are limited
samanthakerr20 i love you
matildas our favourite love story
mackenziearnold 👏👏 for putting up for her for years
⤷ samanthakerr20 excuse you
⤷ yn thank you
hayleyraso look at little sammy!
elliecarpenterr yes yes yes!
charli_grant my mums 💗
samanthakerr20
liked by yn, matildas and 510,428 others
samanthakerr20 she wrote many songs about me 💗
comments are limited
yn baby, i wrote every album for you
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Mastermind // Mick Schumacher x Wolff! Reader social media au
also known as the one where Esteban plays matchmaker for his besties
liked by itselenaberri, estebanocon and 27,837 others
yn.wolff thank you estebanocon for letting me steal your girl 😚
tagged itselenaberri
View all 16,277 comments
itselenaberri my one and only 🥵
estebanocon betrayal
yn.wolff my queen💕
user5 queens of paddock 😤
user2 don't know if I wanna be them or date them 😩
liked by yn.wolff, itselenaberri, mickschumacher and 37,837 others
estebanocon went and found myself a boyfriend since my best friend stole my girl 😤
tagged mickschumacher
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yn.wolff wow bestie. He's cute tho, might steal him from you as well🤭
liked by mickschumacher, itselenaberri
estebanocon I am gonna remove you from best friends list 🖕
yn.wolff I dare you
mickschumacher never agreed to being second choice but it is, what it is😔
liked by yn.wolff, itselenaberri
user7 i aspire to be like y/n 😭 she really said I can take your girl AND man if I want to. Double threat
liked by yn.wolff
yn.wolff added to their story!
mickschumacher added to their story!
itselenaberri added to their story!
estebanoconadded to their story!
Liked by mickschumacher, itselenaberri, estebanocon and 32,182 others
yn.wolff Like we were in Paris 🗼
tagged itselenaberri
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user9 UM ARE WE JUST NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT LAST PHOTO???
user18 RIGHT?? WHO IS THAT??
itselenaberri ma cherié ❤️
liked by yn.wolff
estebanocon why wasn't I in the photodump? Very rude of you best friend😠
yn.wolff i'm deeply sorry best friend💔 next photodump will be all pictures of you I got through the years 😚
susiewolff we miss you💕
yn.wolff i miss you guys too😩 hug Jack for me 💖
itselenaberri added to their story!
yn.wolff added to their story
Liked by itselenaberri, mercedesamgf1, mickschumacher
yn.wolff favourite person to see on grid 💕
tagged itselenaberri
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susiewolff beautiful girls! ❤️
liked by yn.wolff, itselenaberri
itselenaberri I wouldn't say I'm your favourite to see on the grid…👀
Liked by estebanocon, mickschumacher
yn.wolff i truly hate you🫶
liked by mickschumacher, estebanocon, itselenaberri
yn.wolff the water was nice
user7 istg they just need to fully announce it already 😠😠
user59 mick looking handsome on that last photo
estebanocon i thought I was supposed to be in the next photodump🤔
yn.wolff no❤️
estebanocon added to their story
Liked by yn.wolff, estebanocon, itselenaberri and 73,299 others
mickschumacher what if I told you I have the prettiest girlfriend
tagged yn.wolff
yn.wolff i am blushing, stop it🥹 i love you💙
mickschumacher 🫶🫶
comments are limited on this post
liked by mickschumacher and 27,478 others
yn.wolff alexa play mastermind by taylor swift
tagged mickschumacher
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mickschumacher my pretty girl 💜
liked by yn.wolff, estebanocon, itselenaberri
itselenaberri YOU'RE WELCOME FOR ALL THE DOUBLE DATES!!!
yn.wolff and I love you for them🫶
estebanocon WHAT ABOUT ME
yn.wolff i guess I love you too🙄🙄
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a/n this one is my personal fave, I might try Pierre next if anyone would be interested!! :))
#mick schumacher x you#mick schumacher imagine#mick schumacher x reader#mick schumacher#f1 social media au#f1#f1 one shot#f1 instagram au
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